#fusing together to another person for life

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"Like there was no tomorrow." CH.10 (Part1)—Daryl Dixon.

Chapter summary: You wake up to find out you're about to have another baby and that maybe your brother was just another ghost in a house that was never a home and you all never a family.

A/N: It's 28th here in Peru, my birthday so I wanted to share the penultimate chapter of a story that has become so dear to me. It's not the best but I appreciate all the love you gave it. Thank u so much from the bottom of my heart. Writing has truly saved my life and your likes and comments showed me that I'm improving and they brighten my day, so thank u♥ I love you all! (Sorry for any mistakes)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Small pains scattered throughout your body slowly gather in one place, your senses returning as you open your eyes while taking a deep breath after feeling as if someone had held your head underwater for too long, the side of your stomach throbbing. The silent seconds are broken by the pain emitting between your parted lips, and that wakes up the person sleeping on the uncomfortable couch next to you, but your cramped muscles begin to relax when Sam sits down beside you, her hands holding your shoulders to keep you in place, teaching you how to breathe steadily, your head spinning with the violence of a hurricane.

You try to talk but your voice comes out muffled, as if you haven't spoken in days and the walls inside your throat are fused together. You clear your throat and the fog of confusion dissipates with the seconds and she smiles in relief. But since Sami has always dared to be more honest with her emotions, no matter how overwhelming they may be, her eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, it’s good you woke up. You were taking your time.”

You smile back, even though fear fills you: especially the fear of having put April in danger, all while remembering the cold of a knife sinking into you.

“And April, Sam? Daryl?” Your voice cracks at the end, your own eyes crystallizing with the cruel memory. “Austin?”

Sam coos you, helping you drink some water first.

“This is your fourth day here, babe, and April and Daryl are fine, everyone is fine. No one was hurt that afternoon. And yes, Austin was there. I saw you leave with them, but I guess the most surprising thing was that Aeris was nearby after she disappeared these weeks or she heard the whistle you and your brother used and came flying right away, although even she knew that wasn't your whistle calling her.” Sam laughs in relief, letting go of all traces of the fear she felt. “That damn bird is so smart. She followed you all the way to the mine while I came back here. Daryl had just arrived with his group and he just… he went wild, and in less than ten minutes everyone was on their way there.” She exhales, but the shock is still lingering. “What happened back there, (Y/N)? Because since everyone came back, Daryl hasn't been very nice to your brother. In fact, Austin has had to stay in the community cells, and not by his own choice.”

You swallow, and it's less painful now, but you don't want to say you found Bobby, not when Sam was still having nightmares about him.

“Austin was with the wrong people, that's all.”

Sam nods, unconvinced.

“Daryl’s been living here, nesting on that couch like April told him a couple of times, but only she could convince him to come over to the house to eat and rest, even though he ends up coming back. He’s probably on his way here so let’s give you something to eat as we wait.”

The yogurt still lingers sweetly on your lips even after Sam leaves to take care of April overnight, and between the visit from the community doctor announcing that the wound is healing properly, you take a second alone to rub your tired face with hands that still shake as you remember what happened. You block out the sight of the semi–dark room as if that would help you forget the rest, but your racing heart can’t seem to find a way to calm itself. The fire from the candles flickers, breathing in the oxygen around them to stay alive, just the same way you do, and even though the pain still stings, it's all a reminder that you are still alive for another day.

“Hey…”

You move your hands away to see Daryl standing in the doorway of the small and warm room, but he needs a moment to accept what his eyes see. It’s promising for him to see how your tired gaze still lights up when you see him, even right through your pain and the restless nights of unconsciousness, but Daryl can also see the knife in your side and still feel the heat leaving your body to turn you into a cold, empty shell.

“Hi.”

You wave your hand in the air, almost lazily as he finally dares to come closer, and Daryl does his best to smile in relief as well when his heart no longer feels like someone’s squeezing it, aching and preventing him from breathing correctly. The strands of hair on his face block the entire view, but his blue eyes water the moment he sits on the edge of the bed, half his body leaning gently against yours, barely touching you, but needing to feel your warmth. Daryl buries his face in the crook of your neck, his hand holding your cheek in a touch so light it’s like sliding your fingers over a feather. One of your hands rests on his head and his messy locks, the other clinging to his bare arm, but when you feel his tear on your skin, it breaks you down, too.

“I know. I know.” You choke on the words even if they are a whisper, because death has never felt so close before. “I’m sorry.”

Daryl takes a moment to realize that you're there, and that your body no longer feels like it's losing heat.

“Don’ be.” He straightens as he tries to sniff the tears away, but his body looms over you, one hand braced against the bed as the other caresses your face, nervous fingers still on your cheek. Daryl sighs, so deeply the sound fills the room, but your tired smile is a reminder that you are alive, that you’re still there with him and your daughter. “M’ sorry. S' jus'… m’ fuckin’ tired of almost losin’ ya.”

You smile a little, letting out a small, tired sound, your hand holding his as his fingers still move across your cheek, but knowing some things slipped out of your control, unmanageable, almost catastrophic and irreparable.  

“Hey, you know your daughter doesn’t like those bad words.”

However, his serious expression doesn’t change as Daryl feels the weight of having lived with that beautiful but terrifying secret growing in your belly those days, that secret that is about six weeks old by then, with you unaware that you were not only carrying April by the hand that afternoon, but a baby who went everywhere with you, too. Daryl considers whether to wait or say it, although he knows there will be no right time to give you news that could be devastating, but the words Daryl desperately wants to say are like torrent stronger than him, like a storm, and he, a little house being battered and swept away by that natural force.

“Peach, yer pregnant.”

Your hand caressing his stops dead in its tracks, and it seems to match your heart, which, for a moment, you don't feel beating in your chest as you frown, so hard it hurts. The word pregnancy had always felt distant to you when your relationship ended, becoming something like a myth, something extinct that wouldn't even be found at the bottom of the sea, something from a life long gone. But now, you swallow, and your sore throat hurts bad again, which is why you don't try to formulate words, that and because your mind has gone blank.

"Uh?"

Daryl chuckles, a low, deep sound. He’s scared and yet, his mind didn’t do more than show him endless possible lives alongside this child, showing him only happiness that became a fervent wish, as if he could already see the baby in his head and that he or she would come to complete the happiness you two were experiencing thanks to April, making that secret dream he had in the past come true (the one that seemed senseless and crazy after the world had gone to hell)

“Yeah, yer brother did the test on ya.”

You nod, but not understanding a thing.

“How far along?”

“‘bout 6 weeks.”

You gulp.

“And is the bab…”

Daryl can see the question you're unable to ask.

"The baby's fine, Peach. Austin and the community doctor said s’ still too small and the knife didn't pierce the sac around."

You feel the nerves rising from your stomach up.

“Okay, but I think I'm gonna throw up.” You try to turn to the side, but the pain sinking into your belly stops you like Daryl's hands on your waist and shoulder to hold you in place, just like the whimper of pain you smother between your lips that doesn’t let you go very far. But suddenly, the entire world, now small and repopulated by a few people maybe, feels even smaller, and you feel unable to breathe, like a balloon that pops and runs out of air. “Oh, fuck, what did we do?”

Daryl watches you close your eyes and cover them with a hand as a devastating sorrow washes over you, trying to prevent the tears forming at the edges. For a moment, he lets you take the news in, but Daryl can’t go too long when he knows this pain is heavier than the one on your side, so he lovingly removes your hand from your eyes, his gaze gentle on yours.

“We should have been more careful but I don' think s' fair for us to feel so bad 'bout this lil' thing that is being cooked in yer belly now, peach, not when this feels so damn good, y'know? I mean, how bad can all this be if I can see our second kid in ma head and she looks completely happy with us.”

You sigh, hating that you go off on a tangent.

“I can't believe you said cooked.”

Daryl smiles softly because the thoughts keep floating around in his mind, until he stops smiling, reminding himself that keeping the baby is your decision only, and that he would never force you into anything.

“She's growin' there but she's inside yer body, Peach, an' if ya decide s' better not to have her I'll accept yer decision, 'kay? We still got time.”

It's totally confusing. It's like hearing your own voice in your head, but as if it's coming from other people at the same time, and you can't understand any of them, or even know if they're telling you what to do, what to choose, and if there's actually a right answer or not. Would it be selfish to bring a baby into the world knowing the dangers she may be exposed to? She. Amid all of Daryl's words trying to respect the fact that you are and would be the one carrying the baby and the one at risk, that she in particular strikes you, but it’s endearing hearing him say that because Daryl Dixon, surely without realizing it, had become a girl's daddy.

"Why do you think she's a she?"

He shrugs.

"M' sure as hell of that as ya an' Aeris."

You frown in surprise, but a smile appears on your lips.

"This is the first time I've heard you call my baby girl by her actual name. Do you love her now?"

Daryl snorts to hide his feelings, but his eyes had become so honest and transparent that you can see that he does have feelings for Aeris. Not absolute love, but something good, something deep. A kind of respect, even.

“She led me to ya an' our lil' girl but I ain't sayin' I love her out loud.”

You try to laugh, but the sound turns into a silent pain in your stomach and ends up becoming a sigh as thousands of thoughts invade your mind: the good and the bad, the happy, the sad, the heartbreaking, between being selfish and risking her life before the baby even has a chance to be born. Anything can happen: another knife, a bullet, a bite.

“I’m scared to death now.”

Daryl nods, understanding.

“I know, Peach. M’ terrified, too.”

“Do you really think it would be right to have her or him?”

Daryl shrugs again, and it's hard to do it this time given all the reasons to do it and not to do it, but he tries to remain calm even if he hears that it all ends there.

“Dunno, but this community seems safe and we could raise ‘em both here. Rick had Judy an’ I know she wasn't in his plans but now neither he nor Carl nor the rest could imagine their lives without her.” He swallows, his own throat closing with fear, with a possibility he can't rule out yet. “What happened to Lori… hell, we didn't have doctors back in the prison but there are some good ones here and they'll be able to help us if somethin’ bad happens.”

There are ways everything could go wrong, you know and Daryl knows it, too—the baby dying, you dying, both of you dying—a percent that always existed, in the shadows, between all the happy moments.

“But maybe Austin ca—”

“No.” Daryl tenses up as he shakes his head and his expression hardens, his deep voice pronouncing that word dangerously, showing you his clearly refusal while removing his hand from your cheek. “No. He put ya an' April in danger. He won't stay around.”

Your expression falls.

“Austin is my family too, Daryl.”

Daryl narrows his eyes, offended to the core.

“Is he? Is he after what he put ya through? Ya were stabbed ‘cause of him and ya could have died. What would I have said to April then, uh? To Sam?”

You know Austin is no longer someone you can trust, but your love for him was a little greater than your better judgment.

“I know. But he’s not that bad, be can’t be. That’s why I need to know what happened all this time. Even if Jeff was not my father, he said Austin is my brother.”

Daryl laughs, a low, short sound, full of sarcasm that spills over at the edges.

“That piece of shit ain't yer brother. Yer brother wouldn't take ya to the slaughterhouse.”

You laugh too, humorless, a weak but mocking sound.

“That’s unfair and you know it because you did the same for your brother, don't forget. Merle wasn't that innocent, and I know some shitty things happened to him too, but Merle was still a bad influence who even put your life at risk on several occasions, and you stayed with him, you chose him.”

Daryl backs away a little bit as if your words were sabers and he had to dodge them, but there's no way to avoid being hurt because the world seems to be filled with them and there's no escape.

"Ya said ya weren't upset 'bout it anymore, I thought ya had forgiven me."

Your confusion weighs on you and pushes down the juncture between your brows, until you understand your own words.

"No. That's not what I meant, Daryl." You rub your face with one hand, trying to remove any trace of the aftermath of those words that came with an expression that wasn't promising. “I’m not holding it against you for choosing Merle because I still think he loved you a little bit, even more so at the end in a somewhat twisted way. What I’m saying is that even if our brothers are fucked up, we can’t just… shit, at least I need to know Austin’s whole story, okay? And if he’s trash and a danger to everyone here we’ll send him away, but if not, at least he can stay to help with the baby or with me because I really, really don’t want to die.”

Daryl nods, breathing normally again when your words remove the weight from his chest.

“Okay, m’ sorry. S’ late an’ ya should sleep.” He sighs, a little scared to touch you again. “I’ll bring April in the morning so try to sleep now.”

You can see he’s about to move to the uncomfortable single sofa, so you move away just a little bit before the pain stops you, nodding towards the space in the bed.

“Yer bossy even without words.” Daryl chuckles softly but silently loving that you want to be close to him too, so he lies on his right side, his arm flexed like a pillow so he doesn't have to use yours, his free hand finding yours on the blanket resting on your waist. “Is that a maybe?”

You look to the side to find his gaze that holds a bit of hope.

“About the baby?”

“Yeah.”

In the weeks you've lived in the community, you've seen a couple of babies who had clearly been born during that new life—and when you look at him, you know Daryl is terrified of something happening to you, but now he can’t hide that sparkle in his eyes, and hell, once you imagined living this moment with him.

“It’s a maybe.”

He nods.

Morning comes faster than expected, as if the hours were moving at supersonic speed now that you're awake, because life seemed like a slow torment even with your eyes closed: as if proof that sleep and being unconscious weren't the same thing, your body still felt stiff even after lying in bed, your head ached after lying on a pillow. But when your gaze follows the sound of footsteps entering the room, your eyes meet April's, and although her gaze becomes broken because the fear of losing you still lingers in her chest, the relief on her face eclipses everything else, the entire world along with your fear and the shock of knowing she's your niece.

Daryl lets go of her little hand when they stop at the edge of the bed, your smile matching her as he lifts her up without any problem, her small legs flexing on the mattress as she tries not to hurt you when April lies her body on yours. Your hands hold her against you, but the fleeting expression of pain doesn't go unnoticed by Daryl as she straightens, his hand on the top of her head.

"Hey, be careful, okay, baby? Mom's still recoverin'."

“Sorry, daddy.” April nods at him, her eyes searching yours afterward. "Sorry, mommy."

"It's okay, love." You chuckle, soft because the dizziness still lingers, your hands cupping her face. "Have you been okay? Auntie Sam said you've been taking good care of Dad these days."

Daryl snorts when April nods, proud of herself.

"Daddy's been nesting on that ugly couch." She points to that uncomfortable spot. "But Uncle Rick said that's normal because Daddy's your Velcro husband. Is that a good thing, mama?"

“Oh… yeah. It is, baby.” You laugh a little shy, noticing the way Daryl looks away (feeling the same as you) as he scratches his hair, which is always a bit messy, but a little longer now than it was when you all first arrived in Alexandria. You smile at your daughter as you push a strand of hair out of her face, the hair she refused to tie in a bun just because she wants to be just like her daddy. She's yours and Daryl's. No matter if April is related to you by blood or not, she's always been yours more than your brother's or Ruby's. “Have you played with Judy these days?”

April nods again, completely happy.

“Carl says I'm her big sister.”

Your smile falters, catching Daryl's gaze in yours before you look away, but you tell yourself you have to talk to your brother because it's time for his story and April's to find the light.

It takes you a while to recover, immersing yourself in books and conversations with those who became your family, until eventually the wound heals, and your skin regenerates, leaving a raw scar that hurts when you touch it but that is proof that you survived, that you are strong enough to endure the adversities of this new life. You, who lived an ordinary life but not so ordinary at the same time, now walk down the cold hallway in that row of cells in that basement that seems to have no end while trying to figure out what you'll do about your own brother's life.

Each step you take shortens the empty path, until a whistling sound fills the place and your world. You don't respond the call, but when you stop in front of his cell, you see him, tired and sitting on that uncomfortable mat, his back against the wall, smiling as if you had just returned home.

"I've done that with the few who have come here, hoping one of them would be you." He chuckles sadly. "I'm glad to see you're okay, baby."

His affectionate nickname hits you in the heart where you still save a little love for him, but there isn't even a fleeting hint of joy on your face. The age that separate you from him seem so few now, making you feel the oldest, the most focused child, the wisest, the smartest, the strongest (all that he always was before your eyes)

“I just need you to tell me what the hell happened all this time, from the time you disappeared until now.”

Austin nods, straightening.

“Okay. I don’t want to make you stay on your feet too long, so here goes...” He sighs, trying to shake off for a second all the guilt that’s been with him all those years, even though it’s impossible. “About April: A friend from the hospital invited me to a party on that side of the town your boyfriend told you was trash. It was true. I was drunk and so was Ruby, and I’m not going to tell you what happened. The next morning I got out of there and didn’t think about it again until she showed up with a baby barely a few months old in her arms, saying she was mine. April was sick, so I took care of her, but I had to make sure she was mine... and she was. I took charge, even though I didn’t say anything to Dad like a coward, because I lived trying to make him proud and happy like a lapdog. I left because I met the wrong people, (Y/N).” Austin looks you in the eyes, but you feel in your stomach that you’re not going to like what comes next. “I needed the money, and they needed a doctor to harvest the organs, you know what that means. When I refused to continue doing it and they mentioned your name, they gave me two options: either I disappeared from their sight or they would do it for me. April was little so Ruby and I left. Involving Dad as a police would have put you in danger, and you were more important to me. We started over for a long time on the other side of the country with me being just a friend. I rented them a house and took care of them as best I could until that night began. I got them out of there, and we survived in the woods but Ruby could never sleep peacefully with me there.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, with the fear of discovering that Austin was never who you thought closing it painfully.

“Did you do something to Ruby the night you two met?”

The silence seems like an eternity until he speaks again.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember, but I want to believe not.”

“You hurt her somehow, Austin.”

His gaze falls with the weight of his shame.

“I guess so. Ruby left and took April, and I didn't hear from her again until I saw you at the lake with her, calling herself Dixon.”

“So how did you end up with Bobby?”

His gaze returns to yours quickly, silently pleading for your forgiveness as he remembers the burns on your arms.

“Coincidence. Along the way, we continued meeting people until I discovered what they did to those poor women who unfortunately crossed their path.”

You frown as you taste the sour of hatred for Bobby on the tip of your tongue, but more so for your brother.

“And you did nothing?”

Austin shakes his head, but guilt and shame don't allow him to excuse himself because even he knows there aren't enough words in the world to justify that he stayed with a madman who enjoyed make those women run for their lives, knowing he never gave them the slightest chance to fight: they were dead from the moment they met Bobby.

"I know I'm not your father's daughter. Do you know anything about that?"

His own brow furrows, his eyes widening in surprise.

"How do you know that?"

"That doesn't matter to you."

Austin can see a different gleam in your eyes that were always warm. Something cold now, something that scares him, a kind of threat he'd never seen when you always treated your family with so much love.

“When Mom was admitted to the hospital, she told me she'd never loved Dad, that she'd gotten pregnant and my dad's father had bought her from hers. Grandpa was good, like you, but he didn't have the strength to protect her, so he agreed to the marriage. That's why he always stayed even more close to you when Mom confessed that you weren't Dad's daughter. Dad always suspected it until Mom told him and asked him to please take care of you. She never loved Dad, but she loved you, (Y/N). You were always her true love.”

You feel tears welling up at the edges of your eyes at the memory of her, but you refuse to let them fall.

“You knew Jeff always hated me for it.”

“Yes.”

It wasn't your brother's responsibility to take care of you, but you feel the monstrous resentment toward him, (growing right alongside your resentment toward that woman you called mom) and the way they never protected you from every cold glance from Jeff. The feeling inside you is heartbreaking, knowing that you were never properly protected as a child, that the supposed love she felt for you didn't protect you from every cruel word from the man who lived under the same roof as you, from every sign of hatred, from every night you had to lock your bedroom door because of that fear that he would come in and suffocate you with a pillow, which now didn't seem so far–fetched. She was weak and scared of Jeff just as Austin.

"Since you started talking, you haven't said my daughter even once because April is yours only by blood, but we already know that in your family, that's not enough to truly love." You sigh, as if that can forever let go of every bit of pain. "You're going to stay here until I can put this all in order, so get comfortable."

You try to leave, but Austin stops the pace you're trying to take, calling your name.

“How did you find out about Dad?”

“I found Jeff at a so–called sanctuary for people a long time ago, and he told me everything.” Your gaze bores into his, but Austin can feel the coldness of your eyes in every corner of his body. “He dared to threaten my daughter’s life when I politely asked him not to. Jeff refused, so I killed him.”

There’s no emotion in your voice, and yet, each word is like a knife plunging into his core.

"I see. You had to break him before he broke you. He taught us that."

You walk away.

Your grandfather used to tell you that you over–felt everything around you, (feeling things before they happened, before they even began, or when everything is about to end, like an extra sense you were born with) and you used to think that was a problem, but now you know it’s also what helped you and your family. Over–feeling taught you to truly love and protect your real family.

When you reach the first step and leave the basement, Daryl stands up from that chair in that empty kitchen after waiting for you: however, he’s too good of a hunter and he sees the smallest details, those tiny things that go unnoticed by everybody’s eyes, but not in his: not when it comes to you. Now, as Daryl holds you in his arms, he knows there's some revelatory truth that's tearing you apart, but he knows too that just like the wound that became a scar on your body, you just need time to heal.

You hold him too for a long while, until the need of spilling the whole truth about yours and his little girl makes you separate from him, because you are tired of secrets, because secrets are not pillars to make a real family.

"I need to tell you something about April."

@fluffy-dixon @stunkbiggu @kurogxrix @ffsjustletmesleep @kaz11283 @daryldixmedown @enretrogue @minnie-min @carbonnite-copy @walkingtalkingsomething

[eywaseclipse]

All I want in life… is that too much to ask for?

[i-dared-myself]

You and I

Bang Chan x reader

In which Chan finds someone like him, and he believes you need his help, no matter how much you protest.

18+

Cw: Yandere Chan, murder, blood, torture, a bit of gore but not too much, smut, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome honestly, fucked up stuff, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (DO NOT DO), um… kinda nasty ngl. It’s inspired by Railway, so that should be enough warning.

Your body is broken, slowly mending- but broken nonetheless. You can feel your bones shifting as they fuse back together, and you gasp out at the pain. You have no idea how you got here, or why you’re in so much agony.

You’re on a metal table in a room with crooked IV poles and bars for windows. Sunlight streams in between the bars and it makes you wince, your pounding headache bothering you.

You slide off the table and limp to the door. It’s open by just a hair, and you push it the rest of the way. You gasp at the sight of bodies life reed on the ground, bodies slick with blood.

You shuffle over to someone, raising shaking hands to check for any signs of life. You move from person to person, but nothing. No one’s chest rises, and no one has a pulse.

What happened here?

You’re only faintly aware of a heavy weight at your shoulder blades, but ignore it. You don’t have time to examine your own injuries. 

But still, you collapse near the final body, letting out a cry of defeat. Everything hurts too much, and no one is else is alive. Something terrible occurred to them all- and to you.

Something splashes, and you glance behind you to see a man in a long, black, leather jacket that swirls around his ankles. Some of his black hair falls into his face as he tilts his head at you, mismatched eyes locking in on your face.

“You weren’t here earlier,” he muses to himself before running his tongue over pointed canines. His lips curl up into something resembling a smile, but it’s too menacing for that. “You’re like me, aren’t you?” 

You swallow, mouth suddenly dry. “I’m not.”

His shoulders shake as he laughs. It doesn’t sound humorous. It comes off as crazed.

He catches his breath, gaze flicking over you. “You have wings. You and I are alike. You have wings, and I’m… this.” His arms spread wide, revealing silver chains dangling from the inside of his coat and a set of handcuffs.

You frown, but do look. And damn, you do have wings. You flex them absently before returning your attention to the man.

“I’m Chan,” he tells you. Someone that you hadn’t checked for life stirs, and he kicks their abdomen. They groan weakly, and he crouches down next to them, holding eye contact with you as he snaps their neck.

You cover your mouth with your hands, horrified. He’s the one who murdered all these people. 

Chan’s gaze is hooded as he stands, studying you for a moment. “You and I… We’re different.”

You shudder, still staring at the person he just killed. Did they have a family? Did they deserve this?

Chan holds his hand out, smiling softly. “Ready to go?”

You take a wary step back. “Go? Go where?”

His easy expression falters before he pastes it back on. “With me. Outside of this place. To the world outside.”

Outside of the dim hallways and broken concrete. Away from the bodies crumpled across the floor, with gaping mouths and empty eyes.

“No,” you say, surprising even yourself. You bring your wings around yourself in a sort of protective shield. “I- I’m not going with you.”

Chan’s outstretched hand curls, fingers digging into the palm of his hand. His shining black shoes take another step closer to you. “Careful… I’m in a good mood.”

You sob, feathers fluttering anxiously. If this is his good mood, killing all of these people, then what is considered bad? What’s he like when he snaps?

“Don’t… Please,” you weakly say, shivering in fear when he continues to approach you. “No-“

His hand wraps around your jaw, tipping your head back. Chan pats your cheek before ripping into his wrist with his teeth, black goo oozing out. “Open wide…”

Tears stream from your eyes and you clamp your mouth shut. He doesn’t like that, and squeezes tighter. A thumb pokes at your lips and forces its way in, quickly followed by two digits.

Chan spreads your lips apart and drips the black goo into your mouth, grinning maniacally as you gasp and splutter on it. “Swallow it like a good girl. There you go.”

You have no choice but to swallow. You choke it down and slowly lower yourself to the ground, balancing on your hands and knees. The taste of it is still in your mouth, making you gag on the bitterness.

Chan’s foot lands on the space between your splayed out wings, applying a steady pressure. Your arms shake until they give out, and you fall to the ground. Chan presses harder, resting his forearm on his bent knee. 

“There you go,“ he croons. “Just give in. Relent.”

You struggle one last time, attempting to stand up. But you cannot with the strength he is using to keep you down.

You let out one last pathetic whimper before going completely limp. Chan removes his foot and crouches next to you, stroking your hair.

Then you’re unconscious, fading into a realm of darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awaken, stretching out. There’s a lingering taste in your mouth, and you scrape your tongue over your teeth in an attempt to remove it. You sigh heavily, getting rid of the remnants of sleep.

You sit up as your memories come back. Of then metal table and extreme pain. Of the lifeless bodies, blood mixing with tears.

And of Chan.

You grip the sheets of the bed you’re in, pulling them around your form. There’s a set of clothes sitting on the edge of the bed, stacked neatly atop each other. You reach for them warily.

You don’t exactly want to use whatever it is Chan has provided you with, but you despise the ripped and torn fabric you wear. So you throw it on, looking around the bedroom you’re in.

It’s scarcely furnished, with a bed covered in pillows, and a desk off to the side. There are two doors, and when you push one open, it leads to a bathroom. You wander to the second, heart pounding as you turn the handle.

There’s another hallway, and you’re overcome by a sense of deja vu. Except this hallway is covered in polished marble that gleams. You pad softly down the corridor, wings dragging behind you.

Maybe there’s something around that you could use as a weapon. Something to defend yourself from Chan with.

You enter a living room, and find it empty. No Chan.

You feel a grumble in your stomach but push your hunger aside. Escape is your top priority, and you want to get as far away from this sick bastard as possible. Ignoring the kitchen, you head straight to the only other door.

But it opens before you have the chance to touch the handle, and you’re met with the sight of a blonde man with long hair. His freckles scrunch up in alarm when he sees you, and he darts back out the door. You lunge for the door, but now it’s locked.

You hammer your fists against it. “Let me out! Please! Before- Before he comes back!”

You’re met with silence. There’s no response, and you slump against the door.

“Please,” you beg one last time. “Just… Just let me out!” When there’s still no answer, you turn and head for the kitchen, intent on locating a knife.

You hiss out a breath as your wings hit the edge of a counter, drawing them closer to yourself. It’s like your body isn’t quite aware of itself. It’s a strange feeling.

“A little birdie told me that my guest is awake,” Chan sings as he enters, slamming the door shut behind him. His eyes land on you and his shoulder shake with laughter at his own joke. “So it’s true. Felix wasn’t lying.”

You haven’t yet found a knife, so you open drawers at a furious pace. Chan simply watches you, fingers laced together behind his back. When you do pull a knife out, he wraps his fingers around your wrist and squeezes, loosening your grip.

“None of that,” Chan chides, kicking the blade away with a clatter.  “I don’t want to have to send you to your room again, so behave.”

You fight back, flapping your wings out in an attempt to throw him off. But he holds on, grasping tightly to your wrist with a patient smile. You let out a yelp as his fingers encircled around your wrist clasp harder, causing something to audibly pop.

“Oh, no,” Chan says, releasing you. He bends at the waist to take a closer look at you as you huddle on the ground, clutching your wrist. “Did you get hurt?”

You whimper and try to crawl away further, but he hooks his ankle around your calf and yanks you closer. He tsks and peers down at your wrist. 

“I can fix that,” Chan murmurs, hovering over you. He smiles, flashing his fangs. “Would you let me touch you to fix it?”

You tremble, shaking your head. “N- No! Just g- go away!” 

“No?” Chan sharply demands. His tongue rolls against the inside of his cheek, forcing out a strained laugh. “No? Did you say no to me?”

You stand and lunge around him, but he grabs you by the back of your neck, squeezing firmly. You go limp when you remember the way he so easily snapped someone’s neck. Your wings slump and your body shakes in terror.

“Oh,” Chan softly says. He slowly lowers you and presses his knee to the small of your back, applying enough pressure that you can’t get up. “Are you scared?”

You hide your face with one of your hands since you can’t move the other, bottom lip wobbling. Was he not aware that he terrified you? Did he not know how much he scared you?

“Don’t be like that,” Chan coos, reaching to the side. He pulls a roll of bandages out from somewhere and wraps it around your injured wrist, humming to himself. “Why would I hurt you? You’re like me, and not like those motherfuckers that did this to us!”

You watch as he treats your injury, sniffling. “W- Who?”

Chan cocks his head, tonguing one of his long canines. “The ones behind the experiments. The pain and the torture so they could mutilate our bodies and turn us into these. But don’t worry, darling. I killed them all. Or, almost all.”

You let out a cry as his knee digs into you further. He’s too distracted by his ramblings to even notice the pain he’s causing you, lips twisting into a sneer. You scramble to tap his thigh, signalling that it’s too much, not that you think he’d care.

“Oh, did I hurt you?” Chan picks you up from beneath the armpits, arms looped under yours. He drags you to the couch, sitting down. He places you on his lap and wraps his arms around your waist.

You’re tired. Tired of all of your memories being of blood and death and fighting. So you give in, and slump against him.

“There you go,” Chan whispers, shifting you so you’re flush against him. He trails his fingers along the feathers of your wings, and it feels wrong and right at the same time.

Wrong in the sense that it’s Chan. The murderer, who’s touching what you’re now learning is such a sensitive part of your body.

Right in the sense that it’s Chan. In some inexplicable way, this feels perfect.

A door creaks open, and a muscular man steps inside. He ducks his head out of respect, avoiding eye contact. “Sir.”

Chan scowls, baring his teeth as his grip on you tightens. “What is it, Changbin”

“We, found him.“ Changbin’s eyes flick to you, a hint of pity showing. “We left him alone for now, but we followed your instructions.”

Chan relaxes, beginning to toy with your hair. He seems to consider everything for a minute before he glances up at Changbin again. “Bring me a hairbrush.”

“Sir?” Changbin questions. As soon as Chan’s eyes narrow, the man bolts out of the room. 

“Chan,” you unsurely say. “Who are these people? Felix and Changbin?”

“They work for me,” Chan says simply. “I’m better and more evolved than them, and they know it.”

So he’s threatening them. 

Changbin returns, handing Chan a brush. He stands there for a moment before he’s dismissed, locking the door again when he leaves.

“Darling,” Chan sings, his voice carrying a teasing lilt. “Stay still.”

He runs the brush through your hair, his free hand cupping the back of your head in a gentle caress. It’s… nice, being cared for this way. You could almost see yourself letting this be a common occurrence.

Almost.

“Do you remember it?” Chan asks as he works. You try to think of what he’s talking about, but there’s no need for it when he continues to talk. “I do. I remember every moment of it.”

You turn your head to look at his face, but he steers your gaze away so he can brush your hair out. You fidget with your hands in your lap, listening to his voice.

“It hurt,” Chan says, voice cracking at the end. “I don’t know what they did to me, but now… Now I’m this. You’re scared of me since I’m a monster, and it’s all their fault!”

You flinch when he raises his voice, and he notices.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chan nuzzles at the back of your neck, nose digging into your skin. “But you don’t have to worry about that anymore. You’ve been through what I have, and now I’ll keep you safe.”

“Did they- You said you killed them all.” You stare down at the ground, mind reeling with everything. “Isn’t that enough? Isn’t your revenge complete?”

Chan huffs out a laugh, hands falling down to your waist. The hairbrush is placed off to the side as Chan just holds you. “No. It’s not enough. It won’t be enough until I find the one in charge and make him suffer like I did.”

You try so stand, but he prevents you from doing so by tugging you back down to him. You somehow aren’t alarmed by this, and settle down again. You straddle his lap, hands on his shoulders.

“There you go,” Chan praises, thumbing at your bottom lip. His fingers seem to shake before he drops his arm to his side again. “I’m not only doing this for me, but for you. You’ll be safe once he’s dead.”

You rest your head on his shoulder, oddly comforted by his words. Maybe it’s because he’s one of the only people you’ve known since you’ve woken. Maybe you’re as fucked up as he is.

“We’ll go tomorrow,” Chan tells you, letting his head loll back. His eyes flutter shut and he sighs heavily. “Go to your room, darling.”

You lick your lips nervously. “No.”

He peeks an eye open in confusion. “No?”

“I- I don’t want you to kill him.” You squirm, afraid of how he might react. There’s a fairly large chance he’ll remove whatever special treatment you get. 

“Why?” Chan asks, voice dangerously low. He tries to sit up properly, but your weight on his lap keeps him down. “After what that motherfucker did to me? Did to us?”

“Chan-“

“No.” He stands, throwing you off of him. His lips are curled downwards in displeasure and he wraps his hand around your injured wrist, using it to drag you down the hallways.

You yelp at the pain, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. It hurts, but you know that’s the point. You’ve pissed him off, and there’s a possibility you won’t ever change that.

Chan tosses you into the room you woke up in, lingering in the doorway. “Sleep. I’m bringing you with me tomorrow, even if I have to tie you up and throw you over my shoulder.”

You stand and glare at him as strongly as you can, even though he doesn’t seem intimidated by you. “I don’t want this! I don’t want to see anymore death! Stop the bloodshed, Chan!”

“You’re lucky that you’ve forgotten!” Chan screams. His chest heaves with the exertion of his breakdown, and he slumps to the floor. He covers his face with his hands and his shoulders shake.

He’s… crying.

You swallow unsurely, crouching next to him. You bring your wings around him in a comforting bubble, but you don’t know why. 

“It’s okay,” you murmur before you catch yourself. You stroke his hair, and he wraps his arms around you.

“I- I remember it all,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. When you ask if he wants to talk about it, he shakes his head.

He falls asleep in your arms, exhausted from whatever had been haunting him. You gently roll him to his stomach, lying next to him with your wings splayed out over him as you drift off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Darling.” Chan’s voice breaks through your slumber, and you shift as you wake. His hand is stroking your face with a gentle touch. “It’s time to get up.”

You ache from sleeping on the floor all night, but Chan looks well-rested. His smile is soft as he gazes at you, kneeling next to you.

“What are we-“ You remember what’s in store for the day and sit up. “No! No, I won’t go!”

Chan’s expression hardens, a flicker of disappointment flashing across his features. He reaches for the handcuffs clipped to his wrist, shaking his head. “I didn’t want to do this. I thought you had finally understood why I’m doing all this.”

You scramble away, only for him to pin you. Your upper portion is bend over the bed, while his body presses against your lower half. You whimper as he secures the handcuffs to you, fighting the urge to cry.

“I’m doing this for us.” Chan runs his fingers over your feathers and you shiver at the sensation. “You’ll be safe with him gone.”

A man hovers in the corner, bottom lip a bright red from worrying it so much with his teeth. “Sir, the car is ready.”

“Leave us, Jisung.” Chan doesn’t bother to glance over as he tightens your restraints. He lets out a snarl of frustration when you fight back. “Stop that! I’m helping!”

“Chan!” you exclaim. “I need you to realize that this isn’t helping! You’re trying to keep me safe as therapy for yourself!”

Chan wrenches you to your feet. “You’ll understand. Just wait.”

You sit in the back of a car, Chan seated next to you as a driver takes you to the location of a man about to be killed. Chan’s hand rests on your thigh, more of a reassurance to himself than a move on you. You stare out the window at the rapidly changing landscape, mind racing.

Chan helps you out of the car, lifting you by the waist and setting you down carefully. You shoot a desperate look to Jisung, who turns away.

Chan’s fingers flex on the cane he’s holding, tipping his head to you. “Shall we?”

You gaze at the building with apprehension. It doesn’t seem like much, being filthy and nearly torn-down, but Changbin had assured Chan that the man was here. You are about to see the one behind Chan’s gruesome past, and the events that led to you being kidnapped by him.

Chan gives you a nudge, clicking his tongue. “Move.”

You enter first, closely followed by Chan. You can hear the ominous tapping of his cane through the pounding of your heart in your ears. You’re terrified, both for yourself and the man.

A dull thud echoes from somewhere, causing you to freeze. Chan chuckles lowly, stepping past you. “Ready, darling?”

“Please,” you beg one last time. “Don’t do this.”

Chan ignores you and presses further into the building. You reluctantly trail behind him, stomach tumbling with nerves.

A man in a lab coat spins around, gasping when he spots the pit of you. He blanches as he catches sight of Chan, horror swimming in his eyes.

“Hello,” Chan simply greets. He tilts his head, pupils dilating as he locks in on his prey. 

“You!” he gasps again, covering his mouth. “You- You weren’t supposed to get out!”

“Because you knew I would come for you?” Chan slithers closer, hands clasped behind his back. The cane dangles from his grip. “Why would you be scared? Do you have something to confess?”

“Chan,” you weakly say.

“I- I’m sorry!” The man in the lab coat sweats profusely, wringing his hands. “But it was for science! Surely- Surely you understand that?”

“Surely I understand what?” Chan arches an eyebrow. “That my suffering was interesting to you?”

The man lowers himself to his knees. “Please… But look at yourself! It’s- It’s magnificent!”

Chan falters, forehead creasing. “Magnificent? You- I cried myself to sleep every night that I was strapped to that table! You personally stood over me and laughed!”

You no longer feel pity for this man. Every ounce of sympathy in your heart for him has dried up, replaced for the same longing for vengeance that Chan craves.

“But- But-“ The man looks to you, scrambling closer on his knees. “You! You were always so perfect! You were the perfect specimen! So sweet and lovely!”

Chan kicks the man away from you, disgust etched into his features. “Get the fuck away from her. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as her, you vile creature.”

The man sobs, clutching at his hair. He tugs at the strands, taking another attempt at getting closer to you. “Please! Don’t let him do this!” He grabs at you, fingers snagging at your shirt.

You flinch away from him, wings twitching. That seems to do it for Chan, causing him to snap.

Chan swings the cane, hitting the man in the chest. He bends over, blood spurting out of his mouth when he coughs. 

Chan smiles and laughs as he repeatedly beats the man, and you watch. You watch as he’s brought closer and closer to the brink of death, and until his teeth are stained red with blood. His breaths are ragged and his face is streaked with tears.

“That is nowhere near the fraction of the suffering I have gone through,” Chan hisses out. He pinches the man’s chin between his fingers, glowering at him in pure fury. “But I will end you now.”

“Chan,” you softly say, drawing his attention to you. “Chan, my love.”

Chan immediately drops the man, and he goes limp on the ground. He rushes to you, eyes filled with a mix of apprehension and hope. “Yes, darling?”

“Can I do it?” you rasp. You can’t tear your eyes from the man, his once perfectly clean lab coat now splattered with red. “I know you’ve waited for this moment, but-“

“Of course.” Chan pulls a knife out from somewhere, flipping the handle to you. He removes your handcuffs as well. “You’ve suffered as much as I, my darling.”

You kneel next to the man, whose pained expression contorts into one of desperation.  But that quickly changes when you sink the blade into him, over and over again.

You feel the warm wetness on your face and your hands, and you feel the weight of Chan’s gaze on you. You are the one to take this man’s pathetic life, and you are the one to drop the knife to a clatter.

But Chan is the one to initiate the kiss, clasping your face with his hands. It’s full of longing and built up desire. 

You return it with as much enthusiasm, opening your mouth for his tongue. His fangs knick your lip, but you’re covered in so much blood anyways.

“Here?” Chan pants out, groping at any inch of you that he can touch. “Do you want me to fuck you right here?”

You whine and bare your throat for him, eyes fluttering as he kisses up your neck. “I- No.”

“No?” Chan pulls away, tongue wetting his lips. “Darling-“

“Not here.” You yank him back to you. “I- I want a bed, because we’re doing this a bunch tonight.”

He moans at the prospect, kneading at your hips. “Can I- Can I bite you? Make you mine?”

“Sure,” you breathlessly agree. “Make me yours.”

You shriek as his fangs plunge into your neck, right where he had been kissing earlier. It’s a burning hot pain, but it slowly transforms into molten pleasure.

“You like that?” Chan licks a stripe over the wound, closing it up somehow. When you moan as an answer, he scoops you up into his arms and carries you out to the waiting car.

“Sir?” Jisung tenses in alarm.

“Drive,” Chan orders, laying you out across the backseats. You’re dripping now, and he can’t wait to ruin you. 

Jisung wordlessly obeys, and you’re back home before you know it. Chan dumps you onto your bed, wandering to the attached bathroom while you writhe, fuelled by an aching need.

“I know,” Chan soothes as he returns, bringing you with him to the bathroom, where the tub is filling with steaming water. “The bite is making you needy, isn’t it?”

“Y- Yeah.” You nod as he strips you of your clothes, quickly following suit. You both climb into the bathtub together and rinse away the blood and the grime. 

You keep attempting to slide onto Chan’s dick, but he stops you each and every time. He merely kisses you again, assuring you that it’s coming. You’re growing frustrated and as soon as he steps out of the bathtub, you launch yourself at him.

You straddle his chest, bending down to kiss him. You’re both slick with water and droplets of it roll down Chan’s abs as he stands, pushing you off.

“Darling,” Chan taunts, gaze hooded. “Careful, or I’ll have to restrain you again.”

You ignore the warning and shove him again. Chan lets himself fall onto the bed, arms spread out. You’re instantly atop him again, using your wings as balance so he can’t throw you off again.

“Gonna fuck me?” Chan croons. He flicks one of your nipples before circling it with his thumb. “Well, get to it already.”

“I’m trying!” you hiss, grabbing his hard and leaking cock. His head is thrown back when you drag your hands up it. 

You marvel in how much control you have over him in this moment. You had been so afraid of him and what he could do, but now here you are. You’re touching one of his most intimate places, about to have him fuck you.

You get distracted by your thoughts, which allows him to flip you. You fight in protest as the handcuffs return to your wrists, but he smirks down at you.

Chan rubs two fingers through your folds, pupils dilating again at what he finds. “Oh, you’re soaked.” 

You try to grind down on his hand, but he removes it. You struggle in the handcuffs, glaring down at the metal.

“Aw, poor thing.” Chan tilts your chin up with his fingers, shuffling on his knees to straddle you. “Do you need it? Do you need my thick cock to fill you?”

“Need it!” You nod eagerly, scrambling to grab his arm. It’s a tricky maneuver with your hands bound, but you make it work. “Please, Chan!”

Chan stares down at you, seemingly considering something. “You want to be mine? Forever?”

“Forever!” You wrap your legs around him and tug him closer. You want him as close as it gets, so much so that you can’t explain the need that has overcome you.

Chan’s fangs appear to lengthen as he moves them to his forearm. More of the black goo bubbles up and he tips it back into his mouth. You know what he wants and part your lips, sticking your tongue out.

He cups your face with two hands, drooling it out into your waiting mouth. This time you don’t gag, effortlessly swallowing it down.

“Good,” Chan says, lips still stained black. He sticks three fingers past your lips suddenly, making you choke. He checks that you’ve truly swallowed it all, smiling at you. “Ready for it?”

“Uh-huh.” You stare at his cock, and know it will stretch you out. But the bite he had given you has gotten rid of the need for prep. You’re wetter than he could have imagined, and you can feel your pussy throbbing.

Chan likes himself with your entrance, slowly pushing in. Your back arches at the sensation of him filling you, and he kisses you again. It’s messy and sloppy because you’re both panting, but you want more.

“There you go,” Chan softly says as he begins to rock into you. He turns you onto your stomach, with your hands behind your back. “Finally mine. All that fighting for nothing, huh? Don’t you feel stupid now?”

He thrusts into you harshly, and your entire body shifts with the movement. You moan and try once again to get out of the handcuffs.

“Enough,” Chan scolds, smacking your ass. You yelp, and he rubs the pain away by smoothing his hands over where he had just hit.

“Chan!” Your eyes roll back at a particularly well-aimed thrust. “Please! Please, please, please!”

“Please what?” Chan taunts. He presses your clit firmly and you squirm away from the pleasure. But he uses his other hand to grip the handcuffs and pull you back to him. “I’m already giving you my dick, you needy thing. Are you asking me to fill you further? To fill you with my cum until it’s dripping out of you, and then fuck it back in?”

You drool onto the sheets, aching and burning and full. You swear that he’s rearranging your guts for his own pleasure. You never want it to stop.

Then you’re clenching down around him with an orgasm, cunt spasming and body trembling. He works you through it by grinding into you, toying with your clit.

“Gonna give it to you,” Chan gasps out, mouth parting as he cums inside you. It’s your turn to help him through it, and you push back against him, rolling your hips.

“We’re the same,” Chan whispers as he slips out of you. He pulls you flush to his chest, arms around your torso. “You’re mine and I’m yours. You and I will be safe, now.”

Taglist:

@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret @hansmic @imeverycliche @iwuberic @strawberryscentedd @lezleeferguson-120 @mbioooo0000

[seat-safety-switch]

Yeah, I worked on The Machine. And, as I pried open its secret compartments and loosened its wiring harness and decrypted its memories, it worked on me also. Deep within its many hidden copses lay immense knowledge, unknown to all but those who formed it. Who built The Machine? No one knows. Everyone knows. I know. Now that The Machine works again, the person who last built it was me.

For years, I was a humble regular home-gamer mechanic. Something around the house would break. For the sake of argument, we'll use as an example the time my microwave blew up when I opened the door. One morning, it just went pop and never worked again. Well, at least until I fixed it. It turns out that the door had a little microswitch inside, and that microswitch got gummy with aerosolized food goo. Because it was gummed up, it wouldn't switch the computer off in time when I opened the door. That would be dangerous: I could get a full face shot of microwaves from the still-running magnetron. A safety interlock fired, and blew the brains out of the big fuse controlling the magnetron. It died for me. Replacing the switch, and the fuse, brought that microwave back to life. I did many such repairs. I was not prepared for this repair.

Fix after fix, I built up my confidence, and I got cockier. I'd pull broken machines out of the trash, mysterious foreign computers from another country. Some things escaped my grasp, and slipped further into oblivion. Most, though: most, I pulled back from the brink, and forced them to live again. That's when I found The Machine.

It was beautiful, intricate: thousands of parts, wedged together tighter than I had ever seen before, and a cryptic fault at the centre of it. When you cram together this much stuff, the complexity doesn't just add: it multiplies. To aid me, I looked for a guide, a factory service manual. The manufacturer laughed. The manufacturer's representative laughed. Someone who made it, who I tracked down on LinkedIn, hung up on me and refused to answer his door when I visited. Weeks later, he was gone, "dead" in a suspiciously convenient accident, a body left behind at the edge of his bleach-washed property with no identifying marks or fingerprints. I got the message: I was on my own.

This little wire just came unplugged. I guess someone must have dropped it. All better now.

[3amfanfiction]

Tired

Staring at the closed door in front of him, Simon struggled to figure out how to open it.

If he was at work then the answer would be easy. Doors were made to be broken. Kicked, shouldered, rammed, sending another's body through the wood. There were choices. Endless choices. The material would splinter, kicking away from the jam. Locks would dangle uselessly as the remains swung on hinges, a mockery of its usual movements. Remnants of a life prior.

But this door vexed him because it couldn't be broken. It was an important door safekeeping an important person. Housing somebody he desperately wanted to get to but it was locked. Keeping everyone—keeping him out.

He stood and stared at the barrier, dumbfounded on what he was supposed to do from here. How did he get inside? It was something he wanted more than he wanted to draw his next breath. Something that bubbled up in the pit of his stomach, acidity eating away at the soft lining until only the gaping holes remained.

He wanted inside.

Badly.

But he couldn't figure out how to get the door open.

With no other recourse in sight he raised a big, bulky fist and let it thud wearily three times against the door. The drawback of each knock was almost too much. His exhaustion weighed so heavily on his bones he let his fist rest against the wood with each rap. A moments respite before the next knock demanded an expenditure of energy he didn't have.

The last thud echoed out into the night, a call for assistance, for acknowledgment. A plea sent out, desperate to be answered.

Would anyone come for him or was he destined to rot on the cusp of his salvation? His reprieve within arms reach but cruelly blocked from admittance. He felt his bones pressing down into the earth. Gaining mass as he waited, working to drive him into the dirt until it was all he could taste as his mouth and nose were slowly enveloped.

His lungs strained, each breath a manual draw and release, no ease to be found in the movements. How tired did you have to be for breathing to exhaust you? For something as life-giving as air to become a burden, one more thing that demanded his attention, his effort, his energy.

He wasn't sure how much more he had left in him.

He blinked, lids attempting to fuse together as they closed requiring another expenditure of energy to pry them back open. Great, heavy weights. A film covered his sight masking everything that could need his attention, his attempt to run interference to give his brain time to pause, time to simply exist without external stimuli begging for more attention. But all that just meant he had to blink again to clear it. One more burden to carry out.

Oh.

He was standing inside.

At the same time as he registered his new location he noticed you, darting back around to his front after closing the door behind him. A beacon of everything he had been working towards. He was supposed to have closed that, wasn't he? But it was okay. He didn't have to do everything anymore.

Because he was inside. With you.

Rheumy eyes followed you as he swayed slightly where he stood watching as your hands darted out whisper-soft to touch his chest, his shoulders, trail down his arms until you reached his hands.

He didn't recognize the tug at first. The movement fighting through the molasses of his mind to register. Looking down at his hand he saw you attempting to take his bag. It was painful to unlock his fingers. Joints creaking and groaning as they opened from the fist they were in. His hand felt cold and hollow once the bag was gone. Its assignment taken from it.

You fluttered in close once more, chest pressed to chest and oh. It was easier to breathe like this wasn't it? Having a rhythm to follow, another person to lead the line. Your scent filtered in through his mask slowly, the scent of the house, of your shampoo, the remains of dinner. It bowed his spine as he let some of his weight rest on you, numb arms finding the spark needed to come up and wrap around you, pulling you closer.

Another blink and he was on the couch watching you talk tucked in beside him. It was like you imbued each word with a smattering of energy, just the barest wisp that was soaking in through his skin. His brain sparked for the first time in hours.

Home. He was home. With you.

A great heaving sigh broke out through his nose, chest rising sharply before falling. Each moment that he sat here was a lifeline, a rescue, a salvation. His arms tightened, pulling you firmly into his chest causing a rough, raspy chuckle to break out at your squawk that he was squishing you.

You quieted quickly and snuggled into his hold, a low hum of enjoyment sneaking its way out of him at the sensation of holding you once more.

This was why he did what he did.

This was why he would go out there and give every piece of himself to whatever end was demanded. Just for the chance to come back home. Back to you. Back to this. To the warmth and the lightness and the ease.

With a disquieting frown he realized you'd stopped talking, voice falling silent out of some perceived need to quiet that he didn't want. Looking down at you he gave you a nudge. Continue.

"We don't have to talk about my story right now, it'll keep if you want to go to bed."

"No, wanna 'ear it, love," he finally rasped, voice a low rumble, gravel grating on concrete, too tired to form the words correctly—just a slurring drawl of sounds. His first of the evening. "Been away f'r too long and I've been waiting f'r this."

The smile that crept over your face couldn't be helped. You lit up from within as your happiness shined through, a glow that embraced everything it landed on. He swore the sight of it was better than a cup of tea.

"So it's a romance—well, horror if you squint. It starts in this old town up in the mountains . . ."

[gatitties]

Hello :)) could i request a straw hat, heart pirates (law) , kidd pirates(kidd and killer) having a gem! Reader (from steven universe) that can fuse with people? (Its not a devil fruit and they are actually a side project from vegapunk).

If its too many characters, perhaps only the strawhats?

Have a nice day ♡

—Strawhats, Heart Pirates & Kid Pirates x gem!reader

—Summary: A Vegapunk experiment gives you life, a gem with powers beyond a simple devil fruit user.

—Warnings: none

I apologize again for another break :/ and sorry if this is a bit brief, I don't know much about Steven Universe or what a gem can do specifically

─ It feels strange to have any kind of power that isn't conceived by a devil fruit, but at least you have the advantage of being able to swim in the sea.

─ Robin and Chopper are the most interested in how your abilities work; the fact that you can bond with someone who isn't a gem is fascinating.

─ Luffy will just want to team up with you for fun; you'll have to explain to him that you should only do it at certain times.

─ You tend to combine more with those who already have a powers; Luffy, Robin, or Brook, you're usually more powerful because they already have other abilities.

─ Although combining your own powers with Sanji's kicks, Zoro's sword style, or Nami, Usopp, and Jinbe's knowledge is also very beneficial depending on the situation.

─ Franky is the most excited to do the little dance to blend in with you, unlike Zoro, who prefers not to have to.

─ Sometimes you've even separated in the middle of a transformation just because you had an internal argument with that person.

─ Once your gem cracked a little, you gave Chopper a heart attack because he'd never seen you hurt before, but it was easily fixed.

─ They're extremely careful not to damage your gem for fear that you won't be able to regenerate.

─ The most aggressive combinations are Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy; the most defensive are Nami, Robin, and Brook.

─ It's quite incredible to see you in action, your abilities as a gem are a complete enigma to him; you just keep coming up with new tricks.

─ But what fascinates him most is your healing process, at first, he found you as a broken gem he was going to sell.

─ Then he found you as a human body, with that broken gem completely repaired attached to you.

─ He asked you a ton of questions and tested you after you joined the crew, even though you were just discovering your powers a bit, you were an experiment, just testing out everything you could do.

─ Then he discovered you could combine with non-gems, you're a real treasure trove of surprises.

─ He loves the way you two combine, your abilities and his knowledge (plus his own power) make you a real threat to your enemies.

— Although Law is very strict about this, you've done some testing and you can't combine for too long, or it will create instability.

—He'll bandage the area where your gem is located to protect it from damage, just in case.

—Combining with Law is both an offensive and defensive card.

— Probably the most unstable (at least Kid) you can mix with.

— Killer is always the best choice, although of all the crews, this is the one where your gem has broken the most.

— They're more careless, but they still worry if your human form disappears for too long.

— Kid is a little devil who enjoys mixing with you even if he has to do that stupid dance, but it's easier for you to end up in your own bodies after a short time.

— His fierceness and spontaneity make the transformation unstable, sometimes even impossible if he's very angry.

— Killer is the one you have the most compatibility with for a battle of attrition, his calm but aggressive nature and your skills combined make you two a very offensive individual for a battle, capable of holding together for longer.

— Although if you're also in a bad mood and you team up with an equally angry Kid, it can become a time bomb.

— It only happens in exceptional cases, where there is a rush to crush opponents effectively and quickly with aggression.

[novantinuum]

So, one of the interesting meta things I've been thinking about lately with SU: Future is that...

When Steven was wanting to "marry" Connie so he could fuse with her and live as Stevonnie (which, given Garnet is the biggest example of marriage in his life, is genuinely how he conceives of marriage now), he was in fact acting out with the same sort of "fusion lust" that Pearl experienced when she betrayed Garnet in the episode Cry for Help. He felt a surge of belonging and joy and love he probably hadn't experienced in a long while when he got to skate as Stevonnie in the previous episode, and then he just... got fixated on that, I think.

It's... a really good thing that he at least had the sense to ask permission from her instead of resorting to subterfuge like Pearl did, but regardless both Steven and Pearl had a similar brand of insecurities at play causing them to want to become something bigger than themselves.

"No matter how hard I try to be strong like you, I'm just a pearl! I'm useless on my own. I need someone... to tell me what to do." -Pearl, Friend Ship

"Wherever we go I already trust I'd know what to do if it were us I'd know what to say I'd know how to be I'd know your entire syllabus..." -Steven, "I'd Rather Be Me (With You)," Together Forever

Both of them felt directionless and powerless on their own at this point in their lives, and came to the conclusion that a fusion relationship with another person would somehow "fix" them, would somehow bring purpose to their lives they didn't have on their own before. Which, of course, was not the solution at all. Pearl had to deal with her deep-rooted insecurities about her former role on Homeworld on her own, and Steven had to wrestle with his own mental state in therapy in order to once again regain a sense of trajectory within his world.

All this to say though, I hope the two of them had a heart-to-heart about this at some point beyond canon, because I think they would have a lot to connect with on this topic.

[kenmasssperson]

Any chance I could request a soulmate au?

If possible, a hurt comfort / angst with a happy ending.

Maybe reader thinks they can't be together for one reason or another, and he has to pursue the reader to convince them that they're meant to be.

Akaashi, Kageyama, Sugawara, or Iwaizumi please, thank you! :)

Sure, I'll try my best! I know for some it works like you see in black and white until meeting your soulmate, but idk how they'd learn the colors...? Anyways.

Tags: Iwaizumi x reader, fluff, angst with happy ending, jealousy, insecurity, Oikawa, soulmate au.

Synopsis: In a world where everyone has a soulmate, a person destined to love you until forever falls apart, what happens when you can't be with who is supossed to be your parner for life?

A soft sigh escaped your lips when you realized you'd have to endure the seventh third-wheeling session of the week.

Watching your friends being all lovey-dovey with each other wasn't something you particulary enjoyed. Don't get it wrong, you were happy for them and glad they had found their soulmates and everything had gone okay, but being ignored is a horrendous feeling that usually leads to feeling undeserving of the attention you aren't recieving.

So even if your friends spent whole hang outs making out and giggling while they whispered in their lover's ears, completely leaving you out, you never protested.

Your friends had apologized some times, promising over and over they'd try to include and acknowledge you more, but by the end of the day they were always blissfully ignoring your existence.

You comforted yourself with the fact that you knew you had a soulmate. The thought someone out there was perfect for you and you were perfect for them was enough to keep you going everytime.

Someone who was as part as you as your own self.

Someone who you shared your essence with, your very soul.

Someone who was waiting to meet you as eagerly as you waited to meet them. Or so you hoped.

But things didn't go like you thought.

__________________Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ__________________

Hajime Iwaizumi was having another tough day.

To be fair, Oikawa was being twice as annoying as always, and the nerves for the upcoming volleyball match were turning him into a stress-mess.

Plus, his soul mark had started to feel...kinda strange.

Iwaizumi liked to stare at it from time to time. Sometimes when he was alone in his room, or after a match, or whenever life, stress, anger and feelings got too much, he liked to just genuinely see it.

He would sit by himself, roll his sleeve up and pay close attention to the intrincate pattern etched on the underside of his wrist.

Trace the lines, curves and swirls with the tips of his fingers, with only careful and soft touches, as if he feared it would fade away.

But Hajime knew it wouldn't.

That was the mark he shared with his soulmate, wherever they were. The design of their souls, printed on their skins since they were born and staying even after death.

Souls can't divide.

Because your soul doesn't die with your physical form. And neither does the connection that ties you to that special person.

Souls dance among other people's souls, mixing, touching, pulling away and connecting us, searching for their other half.

And when they find it, they collide and fuse, becoming one.

That's why, when Iwaizumi would space out staring at the mark in the solace of privacy, he would always wonder how long would it take to find you.

If he only knew.

__________________Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ__________________

"It's not fair you get all the attention!"

"That's because I'm more awesome"

Oikawa's cocky remark earned him a slap in the back of the head from Hajime's part and some sighs from their teammates, who knew the thing would only escalate from there.

They were warming up, about to play one of their most important matches.

The squeak of the shoes on the wooden planks and the sound of multiple volleyballs being mersilessly hit and slammed against the floor flooded the gymnasium.

People whispered and chatted as they rushed to get seats, some fangirls screamed and a new born cried while his mother tried to desperatedly soothe them.

Layers and layers of noise, unheard stories, adoring praise, murmurs, and the calls for familiar faces in the crowd, enveloping Iwaizumi welcomingly.

His gaze roamed the stands, passing by faces of kids, adults and old people, all here to see them play, to see him play...

Until he locked eyes with you.

It was completely unexpected, the way your stares met like pulled by some kind of strange magnet.

And then you felt it. And he felt it too.

That tingling sensation that run his soul mark up and down and then up again, electrifying and ticklish.

And the world faded away.

The noise, the lights, the yells and slams and squeaks. It was just you and him.

Him and you, feeling like the physical distance between you wasn't real, wasn't as far as it seemed.

And you both knew it. You knew he'd be yours, and he knew you'd be his.

Forever.

And then the magical moment broke with the loud whistle signaling the start of the match.

__________________Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ__________________

"Please" Oikawa begged, pushing the bouquet of roses into Hajime with insistance.

"No" he denied in a determined tone, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

Oikawa's chocolate brown eyes pleaded with him, full of desperation as he tried to get his best friend to deliver the flowers and the heart shaped box of chocolate to the girl Tooru was currently in a situation-ship with.

He had meant to give them himself, but coach was calling him for an interview and Oikawa's girl was just about to leave the stadium because she was running late to greet her family at the airport.

So Oikawa had no way of accepting the interview and delivering the gifts at the same time. His only solution was that Hajime accepted bringing the things to her in his place while Tooru attended fame matters.

"Alright." Iwaizumi grumbled in the end, "But you owe me"

Oikawa lit up, nodding eagerly before shoving the bouquet and chocolates into his best friend's arms and sprinting off.

Iwaizumi sighed, furrowing his brows as he started to make his way up up the stands, sorting throught the crowd with "sorry"s and "excuse me"s, ignoring the curious looks and surprised whispers to see him holding such romantical items.

"who was the lucky girl?" People wondered, their eyes trailing on him, following his way higher and higher until he reached the spot where Asami stood, her eyes roaming the place in search of Oikawa as she anxiously tapped her fingers on her lap and checked her watch.

"Asami-san" Iwaizumi called, making the girl turn around to face him, her furrowed brows softening.

"Yeah?" She asked, confusedly eyeing the roses and the heart shaped box, praying Iwaizumi would not confess to her.

"Trashikawa had to run to catch an interview so he asked me to deliver this" he stepped closer and handed her the roses and chocolate.

Asami's eyes widened and her mouth parted slightly in surprise, touched by the gesture, "He's so sweet" she cooed, "Thank you so much, Iwa-chan" she said, gazing up at him.

"You're welcome" he sighed, nodding, and turned his face to the side when she leaned to smell the roses with a love-sick expression, feeling like it was a moment Oikawa should be witnessing, not him.

And when his eyes gazed in the other direction, he was met with a surprised pair of eyes.

Your eyes.

The surprise quickly melted into hurt and his own surprise melted into horror.

You, his soulmate, had just watched him give flowers and chocolate to some random girl.

This wasn't how either of you expected your first meeting to be.

You stared like in trance, your stomach churning and your chest tightening, eyes lingering on her long enough to make insecurity and jealous claw at you.

Of course.

Of course this would happen to you. Not even your soulmate wanted you, and who could blame him?

He was so fine, and the girl just in front of him was so pretty. With perfect, long, shiny hair, gorgeous green eyes and the most striking smile.

So effortlessly flawless, she was.

How could you compare to her?

You weren't special in any way, you didn't stand out in crowds, didn't light up places with your mere presence, couldn't un bring a smile to people's faces with a few sweet words.

Truth is, you couldn't compare.

So you run away.

__________________Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ__________________

Iwaizumi knew he messed up.

Well, it wasn't enterely his fault, was it? It was Trashikawa's fault.

He had rushed out the gymnasium, praying to catch a glimpse of your hair, of your clothes... A way to get to you.

Where were you? God, why did these things only happen to him?

He finally found you at the back of the building, resting your back against the wall, knees to your chest. Your eyes were closed, as if you were trying to turn the world out.

"Hey..." He said hesitantly, sitting down in front of you.

You furrowed your brows and gazed away, wiping the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes, "go away, please"

He shook his head, "I know what you saw, but it's not like you think..."

"It's alright, really. You don't have to explain it it to me. We are not even dating" you assured.

He wished you'd look at him, "No, really. A friend of mine asked me to give those things to his... Almost girlfriend. I was just delivering. I promise..."

He knew how fake it must have sounded to you.

"Please, believe me. I've been waiting for you all these years, i never even dated anyone before. I've wanted to meet you so bad..." He said gently, the furrow of his brows softening as he hesitantly reached for your hand, his thumb caressing the back of it.

"You can have anyone you want" you said, eyes teary as you looked at him, all the years of insecurity washing over you "Why would you wanna be with me? I'm nothing special..."

He was taken aback, surprised you'd say something like that, "What?"

He let out a sigh and took your wrist gently, lifting it between you two so you could see the soul mark. He lifted his own and held it up besides yours.

"We are soulmates" he said, "There's no one i'd like to be with besides you"

His words were so soft and honest.

It was true he didn't know you yet, but he was sure he would be so in love with you.

The way you moved, the way you talked, how expressive your eyes were. He loved everything about you already, everything pulled him in.

"I think you're the most special person I'll ever meet" Iwaizumi said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "So please, give us a chance"

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words and gestures. He looked so tough and intimidating, but yet he was being so sweet.

You couldn't have wished for someone more perfect to share your soul with, and you couldn't wait to get to really know him, to fall in love with him.

And then, when your eyes met again, you two were sure the other was who you'd want to spend the rest of your life with.

A.n: Soorryy it took so loongg!! I really don't like how i wrote it, and I had to re-write it because it got erased, it was really frustrating... But i hope you like it!!

[zoey-withay]

Ok I'm actually going to blow a fuse over just how BADLY Dark Pit gets mischaracterized within fandom works (specifically in relation to Smash Bros)

Like I get from a basic look at his character design and name, obviously you're going to think he's an evil version/an opposite of Pit (think Dark Samus or Dark Sonic for example) but I think even the Kid Icarus fandom tends to forget how his whole existence and by extension his personality works.

Dark Pit came from the Mirror of Truth, which doesn't create an opposite version of the person who goes through it, but it reflects their true feelings and emotions (it's called the Mirror of Truth, what do you think it's going to reflect)

Dark Pit is the personification of Pit's repressed emotions, so whatever Pit feels deep down, is what Dark Pit puts on display, so the opposite could also be said, that the way Pit acts is how Dark Pit truly feels (they're opposites in that regard)

Dark Pit isn't some villainous asshole, because that would mean Pit is too. And Pit isn't some completely innocent little cinnamon roll, because that would mean Dark Pit is too. They are more similar than they and a lot of other people would like to admit. They are two sides of the same coin.

But I feel like this mischaracterization mostly comes from the Smash Bros community, which in all fairness to them, simply don't know Kid Icarus' lore. Which I'd totally understand if Nintendo wasn't feeding them this 'Dark Pit is a villain' propaganda (I use the term propaganda very loosely, can you tell I'm angered?)

Because if my memory serves me correctly, there have been multiple times where there will be those 'heroes vs villains' online Smash tournaments, and Pit and Dark Pit are always put as the 'hero vs villain.' And yes, I know that Dark Pit is an anti-hero in Uprising, but there is a clear difference between an anti-hero and villain (anti-hero -> good thing, bad reason ; villain -> bad thing, bad reason)

Not to mention that Uprising is about seven hours long, and Dark Pit is only in it for about three hours total, which honestly is not a lot of screentime for him. But in those three-ish hours, he has done more heroic things than any of the other villains/anti-heroes in Smash and I'd argue some of the heroes too have ever done. His good deeds outweigh his bad ones (he swallows his own pride to help Pit save Palutena, he puts his differences with Palutena aside to work together to save Pit's life by going to the Rewind Swing, he saves Pit from Hades' stomach, he once again puts his differences aside with Palutena to join Pit after Hades' defeat since she's the one who grants him the Power of Flight. And I would also like to mention that he did not instigate the fight throughout Chapter 6, Palutena and Pit started that)

Dark Pit acts the way he does because that's what people expect of him. They see him as a lesser version of Pit, so he's a kid who's gonna try and prove them wrong. He only picks fights with Pit because the first thing Palutena (who Pit openly loves and admires, which means Dark Pit deep down also still loves and admires her) says about him is that "he's fundamentally wicked and destructive and needs to be eliminated." Can you imagine the person you love, look up to and trust with your life say that about you? Sure, it might be another version of you, but it's still you. That's one reason why Dark Pit doesn't like Palutena (but that is a rant for another day where we bring the Pittoo nickname into play)

But I get it. It's easier to paint Dark Pit as a jerk and asshole character than exploring a complicated character with complex emotions and feelings that everyone disregards because it's just a bit too similar to how real people are in real life.

It's easier to say he's an edgy clone.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hello!! I finally got to request 😭😭... Its a long one but what if after the Ragnarok Tournament, where after everyone was revived and the Humans won, a trio was formed? Basically,

Thor & Reader & Lubu,

Sasaki & Reader & Poseidon,

Jack & Reader & Heracles,

Hades & Reader & Qin

Nikola & Reader & Beelzebub

Odin & Reader & Simo

The Reader is the Human Fighters Valkyrie, and is extremely beautiful but also have a sassy attitude. Both of the human and heaven fighters are inlove with her but none have made their move until reader start getting hit on by her admirers. She manage to get out of the situation by lying that the human fighter is their boyfriend, but one day the same admirer come again, determine to at least get a date but accidentally screw up and this happen...

How will the Gods and Humans react? I do imagine they actually decided to go into a relationship, all 3 of them though, lol 😂

-The two men you called your lovers didn’t start out that way, you were a Valkyrie, one who as willing to give your own life to become a weapon for humanity against the gods.

-When you fused with (Human), it felt so right for the both of you, it felt so warm, so beautiful, and he almost instantly fell for you.

-(God) had loved you for a long while now, as he was taken by your feisty personality, you always spoke your mind and he had to admire you for that. However, seeing you soul bonding with a human angered him, he felt like (Human) was taking you away from him!!

-As the two men fought, they bonded as well, learning about each other, and by the end of their fight, which left all three of you heavily injured, they had respect for one another, and when they learned of the feelings they both had for you, they had agreed to share you, they just had to somehow convince you, as you were notorious for refusing dates, not wanting to bother with romance.

-That’s what led to this predicament you found yourself in; unlike others who asked you out, usually taking your rejection lightly, there was one, Kand, an earth god, who was persistent and annoying!

-You had been walking around with (God) when he approached, asking you out on a date and he was trying to refuse your rejection this time around, not wanting to take no for an answer.

-It was only when you grabbed (God’s) arm, pulling it to your body, “This is my boyfriend, I’m not interested!”

-Kand was stunned, seeing (God), and while (God) was stunned by your words, he realized that you were using him to get this pushy minor god to back off as he instantly glared, making Kand back off and run.

-When Kand approached you two days later, you were with (Human), and once again, he was being persistent, but as (God) approached, as the three of you were going out for a meal together, you grabbed (Human’s) arm, “This is my boyfriend!”

-Kand paused for a moment before glaring, pointing at (God), “You said he was your boyfriend he other day!” the two men looked down at you, curious as to what you were going to do next.

-They hadn’t expected you to grab (God’s) arm, pulling it to your other side, “He’s my boyfriend too! Got a problem with it?”

-Kand fell to his knees in anguish as (Human and God) were surprised by your words before you kept ahold of them and led them away.

-When you went to pull away, they grabbed your hands, holding on to them, which surprised you as they both smiled down at you, telling you that the three of you were going on a date, and as your boyfriends, they were going to treat you.

-You hadn’t expected them to be okay with this accident, but you weren’t complaining, finally accepting a date as the three of you headed off.

-Thor and Lu Bu- Had been surprised by your bold declaration, but you weren’t bothered by it, so they weren’t either. They had a strong bond between them, being so alike, being strong warriors, and you were their third.

-Poseidon and Kojiro- While Poseidon was elated at you finally accepting his proposal to date, Kojiro was a little shyer, as he wasn’t well versed in dating. Kojiro tried to back out, “You don’t need an old man like me. You two have fun!” this didn’t fly with either you or Poseidon, who each grabbed one of Kojiro’s hands, putting him in the middle, not willing to let him walk away. Kojiro was flattered but it took a bit for him to be comfortable.

-Hercules and Jack- Jack was initially hesitant on being your boyfriend, as he felt like you deserved better, not a killer like him, but both you and Hercules, who thought of Jack as a kindred soul now, refused to let him leave. You were both a bit exasperating, but Jack adored you both as you told him that he wasn’t leaving and that you were a trio, you were all partners. Jack couldn’t help but smile, seeing the kind souls that he found himself blessed with.

-Hades and QSH- Hades had his hands full with the two of you, QSH did what he wanted when he wanted while you had no filter, but he couldn’t imagine a day without both of you driving him crazy. QSH wasn’t bothered by having multiple partners, he was used to it from his time as emperor, when he had several consorts at one time. You definitely had your hands full with the two of them, as they were so different as far as personalities are concerned, but you enjoyed every moment spent with them.

Beelzebub and Nikola- Nikola was such a sweet baby boy, as he had been a lifelong bachelor, as he always saw women as something that needed to be respected and cherished and that he wasn’t worthy. Beelzebub was initially afraid of getting close, not wanting to hurt either of you, but with the three of you working together on each other, the relationship flourished, and you all found happiness you never knew that existed.

-Odin and Simo- Odin was initially hesitant, despite his feelings for you, as he was worried you wouldn’t be happy with an old man like him, and Simo, being a lifelong bachelor, was a bit shy in the dating scene. You definitely had your hands full with them, but you kept them both grounded, reassuring them that you wanted to be with them, and they believed you, because you wouldn’t hesitate to tell them otherwise.

[rekino2114]

I getcha, let’s try this. Basic comfort headcanons for Makima?

the horsemen girls comforting you

A/n:I'm gonna fuse these two requests with something I had in mind for a while. Also thanks to everyone who requested I'm gonna save the requests and do them whenever i'm having another bad day

Makima

You loved being a devil hunter. You really did. Despite the love of your life being a devil herself,the idea of ridding the world from humanity's fears was a noble cause that you loved doing, it also helped that makima was your boss.

But like every job, it had downsides. Luckily, ever since makima fully decided to help humanity, many devils weren't as powerful so your colleagues died less often, and with how strong you were (mostly because of contracts you did with makima) you could protect them if they ever got into mortal danger. But that made the times when they died even more heartbreaking, the thought that you could have saved them disturbed you a lot when it happened and made everything weigh heavier in your mind.

And unfortunately today was one of those days.

"Is everything alright darling?"

You sighed and looked towards makima, her yellow eyes almost compelling you to answer

"Yeah don't worry"

"Are you sure? You've been acting weirdly ever since you returned from the mission"

"It's nothing please, I'm ok"

You turned away from her and started to walk, but she stopped you by putting her hand on your shoulder

"Please darling, I love you, I've known you for long enough to know when you're sad, you can talk to me about anything, and I mean anything, I won't judge you or anything, If you need me I'm here"

Her voice was so sweet and soft, and when you looked back to her, she was offering you a sweet smile, you sighed again and hugged her, a gesture she was more than happy to reciprocate

"Thanks makima, I don't know what I'd do without you"

"It's nothing puppy, it's the least I could do"

After you two stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a while, makima guided you to the couch and put your head on her chest, beginning to stroke your hair

"Can you tell me what happened?"

You told her everything that happened on the mission as she nodded understandigly

"I'm sorry to hear that darling, is the devil you fought still around?"

"No I killed it"

"That's good, I would have destroyed it for making you sad otherwise"

"Thanks"

"Like I said, it's nothing, I'd do anything for you. Now how about we order some food and cuddle, then we can take a bath together to relax"

"I'd....Like that, thank you"

"Oh and don't worry about going to work tomorrow, I'll give us a full week of time off to help you recover"

"......You're the best makima"

"No, you're the best my love, I'm just repaying you for the love you give me"

Yoru

School sucks. That was not news to you, as it wasn't to any student ever.

You had just gotten a bad grade in a test. The worst part is that you actually studied for it, you didn't expect a great grade, but at least a good one would have greatly helped you and your self esteem, you could feel all the stares of your classmates judge you even if they didn't say anything, you felt embarrassed, pissed and sad, you wanted nothing more than to be hugged and luckily you knew the perfect "person" for that.

"Oh, hi y/n, what's up?"

"Hi asa"

Asa let you in her house, and you sat on the bed before looking at her a bit embarrassed

"Can you... let yoru out?"

"Uh? Why?"

"I.....need some comfort"

"Oh yeah, I get it, I guess I could, just don't let her.....kill anyone"

"I'll try my best"

"That's.....not really reassuring"

"Sorry I'm just not feeling my best"

"OK sorry"

Asa sat in front of you and closed her eyes, when she opened them again, they were yellow and ringed, and scars appeared all over her face.

Yoru stretched and took off her hair tie, moving her head to free her hair even more

"Fucking finally, that girl didn't let me out for at least a week, you have an idea how boring it gets in her mind?"

"..............."

"So who is it?"

"What?"

"Who do I have to kill?"

"No one"

"Nope, I do, whoever made you sad is on my hit list"

"I-"

"Maybe I should make them a spear or a sword, a claymore would be cool, I take requests by the way. What's your favorite weapon?"

"Yoru, please can you leave the killing part for now, I just need comfort"

"Comfort like......."

"Cuddles preferably"

Yoru sighed and looked at you. In her time of having you as a boyfriend, she had learned to appreciate human affection and even crave it sometimes, not that she'd ever admit it. So at your request she simply opened her arms and hugged you before resting on the bed

"Just so you know I'm still gonna kill someone later, this is just because you asked for it"

"I guess that's one of the reasons I love you'

"....I love you too, and don't be sad, I'm here for you if you ever need to talk, just ask asa to let me out more often"

"....yeah definitely, thank you"

Fami

"Y/n, you haven't touched your sandwich, are you OK?"

After finishing school, your girlfriend brought you to a restaurant to eat and talk about anything that you wanted. However in the middle of your date she began to notice you acting weird

"Yeah.....don't worry"

Fami looked at you with what everyone else would have thought was an emotionless face but you could see the concern in her eyes

"Did something happen at school?"

"H-how did you know?"

"Because I know you, please tell me what happened"

You felt her hand wrap around you under the table and her gaze soften

"I.....it's stupid I just took a bad grade"

"Oh I see.......that doesn't matter"

"Huh?"

"You shouldn't let that influence your emotions, it's something that happens to everyone, I won't judge you for that and so should no one else"

"Oh.....thanks"

"But if you still upset about that, then I can help you"

She asked the waiter to put the remaining food in a box and held your hand to go outside of the restaurant

"Where are we going?"

"To get ice cream, I've heard it's the food that human eat when they are said, is it true?"

"Yeah I guess"

"Then Let's go"

"But I think spending time with you is what's gonna cheer me up the most"

"I'm glad.......I'm sorry that I seem indifferent sometimes, but I really, really love you always, you can count on me"

"Don't worry, I know, I love you too so much"

[motianz]

I'll rant about Zhanyi for a minute

Honestly such a shame that OX refuses to do anything with Zhanyi.

I'm not even talking about them not being the main couple anymore, but the lack of progress on their relationship overall.

In the beginning, they had a really cool concept of Jian Yi being this lovable childhood friend who hides behind smiles and jokes, that suddenly disappeared and came back years later with no explanation. Then we go to the past, and there's some angst about the intensity of Jian Yis's feelings, the mysteries of his family, his kidnapping, etc. And their dynamic was really good, with Jian yi being a very carefree but also intense person, and Zhan Zheng having a short fuse in a kind of childish way (as he is a teenager at the time), being extremely loyal and intensely confused about his feelings towards this friend of his, who he spent most of his life with.

Jian Yi kept pushing and Zhan Zheng was this un-movable force where he just decided fuck it, whatever the kind of love I still love you no matter what and I'll fight for you. From the dangerous adults around them to the people who had crushes on Jian Yi, Zhan Zheng refused to let him go. They had depth and a lot of development at the start.

It could be such a great dynamic, and could lead to so much angst with Jian Yi's disappearance.

And they even had some great comedic moments of teenagers figuring out their sexuality, so a lot of them being caught doing or saying weird stuff to one another and getting flustered about it.

But it's like OX just GAVE UP ON DEVELOPING THEM

LIKE GOD DAMN

Their dynamic pre and post disappearance is exactly the same, it didn't get any deeper or more explicitly romantic, it feels like they are the same people, no changes at all. They're not upset, Zhan Zheng didn't acknowledge he has sexual/romantic feelings towards Jian Yi (which was great back then, but how is it still the same), Jian Yi has the exact same personality - no shiftyness about his experiences being gone, no serious moments, no growth. Yes they do have this "I'll stay and take care of you forever" but they've had this same dynamic FOR YEARS (in universe), how has it not developed? How has it not sowered or changed after Jian Yi disappeared??

They still feel like the same teenagers that are very close but aren't together. Every time we could get a serious moment, or progress on their sexual/romantic feelings we just get another vague "no mater what, we are besties" or goddamm comedic relief.

(Teenagers on the left, adults on the right) Like, we got this same situation so many times already, where Jian Yi does something dumb, Zhan Zheng reacts and they get caught doing something that is misunderstood. (The bug bite photo Jy sends Zzx, Zzx drying Jys pants, Jy tearing Zzx pants on the subway, jy touching Zzx chest in public, Jy wearing the skirt, this update with Zzx spanking Jy, I can list this forever) it's always the same concept/situation, and their reactions are always the same, there's just never any progress.

And don't get me wrong, I very much understand and came to terms that 19 days is not a plot focused story, and let's be honest the time-line has been a bit of a nightmare lately, but I feel at the very least we have some very good and fun progress and character depth with Tianshan. Zhanyi did progress from the very beginning, but overall it feels like that just stopped.

Like, we still didn't get to see Mo realizing he tian is gone or anything from that period, but their dynamic changed SO MUCH from when they first showed up. From when they first meet to when Ht leaves (after beating up SL) their relationship deepens, their characters gain layers. And since 19 days takes time with its plot we are still at the very beginning of their post leaving dynamic and we've already got some pretty obvious change on how the intensity of their relationship changed (Ht basically proposing sex during their last update).

But it just feels like Ox doesn't want to do anything with Zhanyi, not even just forget about them, but freeze them in the same state. Maybe OX is just leaving them frozen until they finish Tianshan's story and then go back to focus on Zhanyi, but like, it just feels like such a let down to continuously see Zhanyi stay the same.

We got to here, we got JY admitting his feelings and ZZX accepting them but being vague whether he felt the same or not, and then we got them several times dedicating their futures to each other, and that's it. Nothing else changed or advanced from their teenage years.

I think it's why Tianshan became so much more popular, because they never got stuck in time. Zhanyi had around the same level of potential (don't come for me, I love Tianshan and HT is my favorite character from 19D so I can't say it's exactly the same lol) and could have such a great intense dynamic, but it keeps not happening.

Maybe I'll have to re-read their chapters, and the progress is just super nuanced, but hopefully, OX will do something with them now that they are really testing the limits of Chinese censorship, lol

TLDR: Zhanyi relationship and characters had so much potential but now feels frozen in time, their relationship lacks depth because OX keeps making them repeat the same situations and have the same reactions. Hopefully this will change.

[stepinthyme]

The Red Means I Love You

Alice Wu Gulliver x Necromancer!Reader

Your girlfriend told you she'd be gone to finish some buisness, and you feel her death happen. You refuse to let her go.

Word Count: 1k

Content: second person, no use of Y/N, ressurection, kissing, fluff, blood and gore, Alice is naked but that is not the focus here. Reader is refered to as "girlfriend" at one point, but otherwise this could be read as gender neutral

A/N: If no one will feed me, I will feed MYSELF. I may cross post this to ao3 in the morning, but I needed to get this out of my head while it was all still fresh. This is very heavily inspired by Marcille's ressurection of Falin from Dungeon Meshi, but fuck it, if Billy's allowed to ressurect Tommy by putting his soul into another kid's dead body, then theres gotta be at least one other person able to do necromancy, and why not do lesbianism. Alice is probably a little ooc but I did this in like an hour, cut me some slack.

Today, running the butcher’s was very slow, predictable for the sleepy little metropolitan area of Eastview and Westview. It was run of the mill and average, what everyone in the town basically forced it to be ever since the scarlet witch scared half the people within a three mile radius.

You were just finishing the last of closing procedures and headed into your apartment above the shop, making a quick dinner and settling in for a simple night watching tv when you could feel it. The moment Alice's life was snuffed out. No, more like drained out of her, in a drawn out action. She had told you she was just going to finish some family related business, that she'd be back before the night was over. She'd be back before you knew it. Kissed you on the cheek and everything like she did when she'd head off to work.

Before you had even really processed anything else, you were already setting up the ritual, drawing out a sigil with chalk, placing candles in the appropriate places, scouring your cabinets for all the assorted offerings needed.

You and Alice had met because you were outcast witches. She had distanced herself from the craft after the death of her mother. And you were known as the disgrace of all green witchcraft. You were an odd duo, but you were happy so long as you were together. She had asked you a few times how you had earned your title, and you always laughed it off.

She was going to finally learn why you were called that very quickly.

You were grateful for your day job as a butcher, as you used magic to carry large cuts of cow and lamb, bones and all from the commerical freezer to the living room. plopping them haphazardly onto the sigil. It wasn't her body, but it would do in a pinch. You would deal with any consequences later. You lit the candles and got onto your knees, placing your hands on the sigil as you began the incantation you had done at least a dozen times. Your voice almost seemed to echo through the room as forbidden magics are called upon.

In a basement a couple miles away, death reaches out for a soul, only to see her violently yanked away from her grasp, disappearing from sight.

You continue to shout as the meat and bone fuse together, almost melting as it reformed itself into a human shape, features slowly refining itself to resemble the soul now bound to it. The last touches are added as your girlfriend, albeit covered in blood and naked, now lies in the middle of the circle. You nearly collapse, but you stare anxiously, hoping, praying, that it worked.

Alice's eyes snap open as she bolts upright, gasping for air. You release a breath you didn't realize you were holding as the tears finally roll down your face and pull her into a tight hug.

“Alice! Alice, I thought I lost you, I..”

You continue to squeeze her, kissing various spots on her face, not caring about the copper taste of the blood. Alice seemed to be finally coming out of shellshock as her hands found their way to tangle in your hair. Her eyes met yours.

“Is… is this real? Am I really here?”

“Yes Alice, you’re really here, I promise. You're here. I'm here.”

Without much warning, you were pulled in for a deep kiss. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought she hadn't seen you in months with how desperate it was. Your tongues danced with no clear rhythm as you tried to get enough of each other, only stopping when you both needed air. Alice let out a huffy laugh of disbelief.

“How did you… how did you even do this? I was dead. I saw death.”

You glance away, picking at some of the melted wax on one of the candles, suddenly conscious of what you had done, how much of an overreach it might have been.

“It's. A long story, trust me. I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore after this, I just-” Alice gently takes your hands in hers, rubbing circles with her thumbs.

“Hey, hey. It's okay. Look at me?” You meet her gaze once more, her warm eyes looking softly at you.

“It's okay. What happened was weird, yes. But I think quite literally breaking the laws of life and death is maybe the most romantic thing a girlfriend has done for me. Just don't make a habit of it, okay?” You can't help but laugh at that.

“Only if you don't make a habit of it. What even happened?” Alice paused at that.

“It’s also a long story. I’ll tell you after I get cleaned up. You should probably too, considering” she gestures to your now bloodsoaked clothes, and you nod.

“I’ll take care of the cleaning in here while you shower, and I'll meet you in the bedroom later after I get washed up. If you're still awake by then, we can exchange stories. Otherwise that can wait till morning. Alright?” She nods, placing one last kiss to your forehead before attempting to get up and then immediately falling over. You stand up, offering a hand to her.

“Need help?” She takes it, and you help pull her up, resulting in a much more successful attempt to stand than the last one.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one protecting you.” You can't help but giggle at the remark.

“Everyone needs help once and a while. The usual doting can wait for later.”

You walk with her to the bathroom to make sure she doesn't fall again before even making it to the tub, before heading back to dig through the supply closet. You pull out the cleaning supplies and head back to the living room area, and the now giant stain of blood and chalk on your floor. Necromancy is a bitch, but it's all worth it now that you have Alice back with you. Whatever happens next, the two of you can sort it out together.

[omagpies]

No way! Another person who has spent way too much time on apex! Who's your main? I'm guessing BH but I don't want to assume. How did you feel about the BH/Fuse engagement? Do you have any heirlooms? Sorry, not very many people play apex on here.

Also, do you have any apex art? If not that's totally cool but I would love to see it!

you have activated my trap card!! many drawings ahead

my main is indeed bloodhound. i also whip out fuse, mirage, and to a lesser degree octane, but mostly i'm a one trick bloodhound. they were what got me into the game in the first place back in season 7 when i heard their 'i'm afraid of heights :(' voicelines (a cool hunter nonbinary character voiced by none other than allegra clark? sign me tf up), and even though i am Very Bad At Shooting and don't actually like battle royale-type games apex stayed my brainrot for over two years. the brainrot is definitely over now and these days i play it as a social thing, but that's how i acquired 2k+ hours lmao

also they released a magpiehound recolor called 'frosthaven' that i gleefully snatched up and have been wearing it ever since (ft the magpie holospray and the magpie mural on their latest map. i think they are catering to me specifically)

i am. truly Not Good. i am here just to clown and gossip and make poor life choices. my impulse control is too non existent for someone whose best skill is shooting a perfect outline around the enemy and not a bullet within

i had SO MUCH bloodhound art over on twitter good god. out of the following two drawings, the first one was bought out by allegra to sell as signed prints, and the second one was reposted onto apex's IG account, and in general this was the one time i genuinely had a blast on twitter interacting with all the devs and vas before everything went downhill both in respawn and on twitter lol. also i have to say, s10 and the whole White Raven thing fed me so. so so. SO well. the existential angst was incredible.

i participated in a couple of zines/projects as well! i have many thoughts about their canonical(!) respawn system and the resulting unimportance of death. adds to the existentialism and to bloodhound's religious themes

overall it was a very, very prolific period for me, and there are many pieces i'm still very happy with to this day

(^ the second to last one is a reference to the fusehound confession scene, and the last one is related to one of my fics, wooden bones (forest deity!bh au))

shipping!!! miragehound was my initial and most prominent ship, and i will never forgive respawn for not expanding on their backstory (their mothers worked together COME ON. they might have met as children! COME ON!!!!! i have a whole series exactly about the What Could Have Been)

their backstory with boone also fascinated me for a very long time, and my friends and i spent many a yap session dissing the dude until we stopped and thought, hey, what if he really was Just Some Guy who made mistakes, what if he wasn't evil, and that's what pulled me right back into the brainrot when i was already starting to slowly recover from it. boone now has a very elaborate backstory and lore and i hope to god respawn never puts him in the games the way we did because a) they don't GET him and b) i don't trust the fandom with him lmao. i'm super down to blabber about him though just say the word. he's everything to me, my big, sad, hairy man

we also invented in-game stuff for him. he had abilities and skins etc etc (the top row of skins is his titan pilot backstory + talos era + 'default' in-game skin)

this diptych still lives rent-free in my head, i think i really won with this one

where miragehound and boonehound flourished, mirageboonehound wasn't far behind! i wrote how it came to be and all. also Рorn. so much Рorn. seriously.

also this was the first time i redrew the twelfth night as my otp. the second one was mouthwashing

fusehound was an absolute delight to watch blossom, especially since we know it wasn't planned and just Kind Of Happened. i felt that lmao. characters be like that. i'm a bit sadge they shelved the whole talos plotline in favor of romance but at this point i gave up on expecting good lore from apex, especially after they fired herr frozenfroh. i didn't draw fusehound nearly as much, BUT i do have one fic that was basically a dream i had lol

honorable mention goes to revhound!! this is the ship that went really hard with artists and writers. deeply painful, deeply compelling, absolutely incredible. mindblowing angst and just as mindblowing рorn, together or separately. best shit. the one ship i didn't write for because compared to the fandom's behemoths i never felt like i'd be able to contribute anything meaningful lol, i just got to sit back and enjoy

bonus: as one of my friends eloquently put it, bh and their bhitches :)

i was going to put in more pictures but hit the 30 images limit!!! my twitter is now abandoned but if you scroll down just a little you can see all the stuff that didn't make it into this post.

apex and bloodhound also REALLY, REALLY got me writing. i came into the fandom already relatively warmed up after a 170k fire emblem fic, but i ended up writing 200k+ for miragehound, mirageboonehound, and fusehound combined. i was unstoppable. it was insane. i've linked some already but you can peep them all here. bloodhound's pov was especially fun to write for, purple prose my beloved

also you asked me about heirlooms! i'm a lucky motherfucker who managed to get one set of shards from the 500th box and another from just the random 0.4% chance. so i have bloodhound's and fuse's as they are my most played characters :)

[moonlight-shadxw]

Have chthonic God midas,

I'll explain below how he got here based on the sequence of events I have for him, also, it only makes sense after getting ascendant midas to get ascendED midas, right ???

The myth of the Golden Touch is accurate to a certain extent ; asking Dionysus for everything to turn to gold as a reward for his good deed eventually leads him to realize this power was more of a curse than anything else ー food, water and people all turned to gold, Including his daughter.

King Midas would then implore the deity to free him from this curse, who responds to his prayer by telling him that if his hands are dipped in the river of Pactolus, then the effects would be reversed.

And this is where the reality diverged from the Myth :

Midas attempts to save his daughter by dipping her into the river, but instead, as soon as his hands touch the water, the sands, the very essence of the water and anything else around would turn to gold.

Horrified, Midas knows now that he has been tricked by the deity, Who never even intended to help him, so to punish him for his greed.

What Midas doesn't know is that nothing can really stop the curse, aside from being fully blind, because then, if he cannot see the gold, then is it really gold.ᐣ

Midas is then helped by his servants to limit the effects of the Golden Touch, while his disdain for Gods grows immensely.

After his death, Midas is reincarnated several generations later as the current Midas, who has enough control over his Golden Touch. The same would apply to his eyes, if he were to be legally blind, then the effects of the curse would be nullified, something he doesn't know.

Hence why, even with a cut off hand, the curse would endure through the prosthetic as long as he can touch something.

He retains the same personality, distrustful, haughty, disdainful, and especially towards those who have habits and traits similar to Dionysus.

Considering Dionysus' punishment, his powers stop working when he stops seeing. That means, he doesn't need to lose sight permanently for it to stop working, but losing sight temporarily is also effective.

As in, his powers don't work when he's asleep. They won't either if he's unconscious. They won't if he's blindfolded. As long as he CANNOT see / visualize the gold, then he cannot use his powers. Midas possesses another curse, that of immortality, not in the sense that he cannot die, but that he simply cannot stay dead. It comes from the fact he touched the waters of the river of Pactolus.

Aside from not being able to wash away the gold on his hands, his own touch fused with the properties of the river since, meaning that ever since that incident, his curses both kept feeding off of one another and growing simultaneously.

If he had less control over what he touches, then with each death, he'd grow more capable of controlling it.

If he had to die, then either he'd naturally be reborn after a specific set of time ( 150 years ), or he can be revived, or finally return from the dead with sheer power alone.

That means that with each iteration of himself, his power of adaptation grows, his memories from each death stack up and his knowledge and understanding extend.

But with each iteration, he will have to learn new things about himself. There is always going to be something different about himself that he needs to figure out and remediate to. Eventually, it means that Midas' curse pushed his status farther than mere human, and yet not enough to be a God ー at this point, he could've reached the status of Demi-God.

The major downside of this curse is the fact that he will eternally live between life and death, With no real way to allow his soul any rest ; coupled with the golden touch, these two can either work together or fight against one another.

Hence why, for the moment, the gold coming from his hands is ` immortal ` too, meaning that it will not stop even if a limb were To be lost. After getting killed by Thorne once more as a demi-god, his soul was split between mortal and divine.

Hades wished to put an end to the fate meddling that Thorne engaged in by messing with timelines, and by ascending Midas to divinity, it would put an end To this loop and fate troubling.

Midas would then become the God of riches, greed, prosperity and failure, with a cat as symbolic animal.

Additionally, depending on how angry he gets, the things he touch can turn to molten gold.

His own blood is scorching hot, and gold.

[zeevoidlight]

what's the deal with these two...

Seriously. Why is the suspicion and joking of their bromance even a thing that exists (outside of just shipping for shipping's sake and ppl making every male friendship a secretly frustrated gay relationship). Is it even a thing?

Do I ship Goku and Vegeta?... yes.. yes I do, I confess myself as part of the problem. But I feel is fair that in a show like Dragon Ball where there's sexually mature references and themes at times I can give myself the freedom to wonder. So i'mmana talk about two pivotal moments that marked a before and after for both of them together as a team: their Majin saga match and the fusion.

//////

As far as the show goes, there's not really much to go off of. They clearly both have their wives whom they both love very much, children, they love to battle and test themselves, they are bros (now at least), rivals for life, they better each other by challenging one another to get better.

On the other hand my autism tells me that that's not the whole story. Because I normally don't like to take things at face value when i can see more.

Is interesting to see how both, Goku's compassion and respect for Vegeta, and Vegeta's (albeit unhealthy) obsession over Goku, the fact that they were also the last of their kind and the only ones that could compete with each other to fight between themselves and against others (discounting Gohan since he always slacked on his training and wasn't really interested on fighting), the only ones that could understand how the other felt as being pure blooded, that Goku had a living example in Vegeta of his true origins to learn more about himself (like a walking Saiyan enciclopedia), that Vegeta had in Goku a new purpose in life (until he realized what he had with his family as well), all of that with time combined to create a dynamic where they both felt comfortable with each other, it made them be naturally closer than the rest of the cast (even if it was in rivalry terms). They famously became companions, with time forming friendship/friendly rivalry and some could even see them now being akin to brothers. Something that as much as Krilin was Goku's life long friend and will be forever he could never really fulfill all that Vegeta came to develop with Goku. And in a way I don't think anyone can either.

But there's also an important note to make about this relationship/friendship. Vegeta is the one that gives it more meaning than Goku does (at first). I feel like Goku is simply being his loving caring happy free self, while Vegeta takes it personal and takes so much weight on what Goku says and does and how it affects him (like Goku is just vibing while Vegeta is oozing jealousy towards Goku). As he later puts in words in Super (Granola arc i think), Goku is an egotist while he himself is an egocentric. And that difference is important to get to the point because from now on for a while the question is "Why does Vegeta".

Why does Vegeta put so much weight in their fight in the Majin Saga that he's willing to kill innocent people again just to have a match with Goku (going with the latin dub again since is more accurate to the original japanese one). And it isn't just about his ego, is about what he doesn't say as well.

Why is Vegeta the only character that is so against fusion, with Goku specifically because he has only fused with him and we don't know how would he react to fusing with someone else if it's needed.

Why is Vegeta so averse to touching Goku. At least after their fight and after him dying in the Majin Saga and once he is allowed to go back to Earth.

Why on the brink of the universe destruction was Vegeta acting like a cheated on girlfriend when he discovered that Goku had a new transformation and didn't told him about it (I would be mad at him too to be fair but i also understand why Goku wouldn't want to do so and he did it to not hurt Vegeta's feelings and have a good time under fair conditions. he gets half a point for the sentiment).

The Majin Saga

From all the examples people like to pull up when trying to argument sexual tension between these two there's only a few that I feel have some significance. And I can tell you when did it cooked enough to be a possibility. And that is right when Goku announced he was going to go back to Earth for one day and one day only, presumably forever. That's where something started, but it was brewing since Goku died to Cell and Vegeta lost Goku, his purpose, his obsession, his will to fight, and entered a depressive episode that lasted 2 years (aprox, since Bulma tells Chichi that Vegeta had been training for the last 5 years in the 7 year time skip). He honestly was a mess of a person right around that time. He couldn't even call himself a warrior under his own standards, he was trying to cope with the fact that he messed up with future Trunks and would have to change with his own present Trunks, he got stuck not being able to prove himself, etc.

Once he knew Goku was coming back he just had to do anything in his power to fight against him again, no matter what it took (he looks so excited too, that's cute). His entire meaning as the person he perceived he was and his meaning as a warrior and Goku's foil depended on it. He actually was in good terms with Goku up to here though (while in the Cell saga he was pretty much amicably antagonizing Goku for the most part, and the other spent feeling jealous). Agreeing to the tournament rules, being patient, enjoying meals together, bragging about his kid. But after realizing that they might not have their match because of Supreme Kio's pink menace, nothing else mattered, not Bulma, not Trunks, not the Earth or the universe or everything he had been building for so many years without Goku. Goku was the single catalyst for his relapse. Like... how is it possible that fighting with him and proving his worth is more important that it's been a rock in his boots for years now. But ok, he's a warrior so I can understand why, also because he was going through a Major (with capital M) identity crisis where he's trying to negate his newfound value in his family and new home while thinking that is what was making him weak, though he never really believed that since he knew Goku never needed to be cruel to surpass him, it was just a jolt reaction to not knowing how to handle it, and Goku could see through that very clearly by asking him if he really believed that bs about feeling good by being cruel and being a slave of his own mind.

But the thing is that during their fight it is clear that more than winning (which he would have enjoy to no end if they finished their fight and Goku didn't had a new plot convenient powerup hiding under his eyebrows again, though that wouldn't have helped him to grow), both were very much enjoying the act of fighting (since Goku said he wanted to end the fight soon so Buu doesn't get the energy but he didn't because he could have used Ssj3 and end it quite fast), Vegeta fighting against his previous rival now a bit more than that, Kakarot. Battling with him in perfect synchrony in an equal fight because what Vegeta actually wanted with the Majin Magic was to close the powergap and convince himself he had an excuse to not feel remorse because of the magic. And i say that because before Goku dying to Cell he really saw him as competition, but after he lost him i feel that alongside his remorse and embarrassment for the disaster that was that saga, in part because of his gigantic ego, he must have felt alone, now truly being the last pure blooded Saiyan alive and not in condition to call himself a warrior anymore under his own standards. And although he had Gohan, which he respected a lot because of his courage and his immense power, it was not the same since Gohan is a pacifist and didn't had the same passion for fighting like a pure blooded Saiyan so he wasn't even training. So by the time of the Majin Saga and once Goku came into the picture again I think he subconsciously regarded him differently and he ends up realizing it during their fight (although he doesn't vocalize it).

During their fight there's a specific moment. After Goku throws Vegeta to a cliff-side and he makes a hole in it to liberate himself with his ki, Goku comes to him and they both get very close just floating in the air and powering up, looking at each other. Vegeta is beyond pissed, Goku taking the fight very seriously. Then Goku smiles to Vegeta challenging him and showing he's enjoying their fight, and Vegeta relaxes for a moment changing his attitude and showing a smile back to him in empathy, sharing to him that he is enjoying it too and wants to challenge him back as well.

This whole fight is Goku's way to show Vegeta how much he actually cares about him and his well being despite what Vegeta might have believed up until then, how much he respects him as a warrior and an equal too, even risking Earth and Majin Buu's return. He did the unthinkable and menaced Kaio Shin with death if he dared to stop their fight, which Vegeta sure noticed and even reacted with complete disbelief. As Supreme Kaiosama says to Gohan and the others in the wasteland: "we cannot do anything about it. Fight until you can calm your hearts", because even Kaio Shin knew that they weren't going to actually kill themselves, they just had to talk (while fighting).

I know a lot of people joke about Vegeta being a repressed homosexual (or technically bisexual because y'know there's Bulma) because of his legendary obsession with Goku, and i'm not saying he is, but this fight is charged with sexual tension, mostly on his part, among other things of course. And is interesting that Vegeta, ever since the Namek experience (which was the first time in his life he was emotionally vulnerable to the point of breaking entirely), is the most emotionally fragile of the bunch and an unstable character. He feels everything very intensely like an open wound, and reacts in the same way while trying to hide under a curtain of pride, ego and his title of Prince (I mean, he's the one that actually openly cries the most out of frustration after Namek, just for starters).

Goku knew what he was getting into by agreeing to fight with Vegeta. He wasn't going to just let them set the score, he was going to give Vegeta the most intense therapy session ever by letting him discharge all that literal energy and anger, guiding him through his thoughts, playing by Vegeta's rules. Help him overcome whatever he had been brewing in his mind since they day they met thinking on where was the moment everything went wrong for years, so he could move forward...

And then... this happens...

... I don't think anyone expected something like this to even be a thing that he could do as a power that we will only see one time ever in the entirety of the show from him and is in here, lol. And not long ago I watched a semi abridged semi analysis commentary video on the fight and yeah, we coincide that there was something else going on here at the same time. Vegeta got a little too excited... He got rock hard by too much adrenaline (or testosterone, endorphins... i know science ok?), lol. And I didn't mentioned it but being that Saiyans were a warrior culture there exists some real life relation of warrior societies (like greeks, romans, spartans, norse, some aztec societies) and homoerotic practices as part of that philosophy and way of life. Fighting is everything and everything revolves around fighting. And finding a brother in arms could develop into something else (call it love or getting physical or whatever) out of admiration, or from hyper-masculinity with the purpose of dominating the other and demonstrating power by physically making every other man your peach and the others are like "wow, a man dominating a man? that's so mainly". And i'm not saying that that was part of Saiyan culture, just that there might be some similarities with what we're seeing.

There's a fine line between pain and pleasure, hate and love, fear and excitement, rivalry and attraction. And in moments of intensity where both opposite feelings collide can produce an equally intense and confusing response. We know for sure Saiyans by nature often confuse fear an excitement, and rivalry with attraction at least, like Goku when he confesses his motives and feelings on his first fight with Vegeta. And here Vegeta is going through a rollercoaster of emotions, and given that he is the most emotionally charged character it can go all places.

So, Vegeta tells Goku if he pretends to defeat him quickly as he said, Goku responds that he's trying to do that, and Vegeta asks if he thinks he can do it *slap slap* (the disrespect). He's trying to provoke him but the way he does it is kinda similar to what you'd do in a sexual encounter since he's not really hurting him too badly (which is really funny). And I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking about anything sexual, just pure anger towards our buddy Kakarot, that doesn't change the fact that he did just lost his marbles to blind rage and wasn't thinking at all, just feeling intensely and acting freely on it. "Listen... don't you think this is enough humiliation I got from your part *hit hit punch hit*. This attacks are not enough to set the score. How is it possible that a Prince of Saiyans, that possesses such a great pride, was humiliated by a warrior like you (In the English version there's a series of flashbacks with dialogue but that's not a thing in the japanese and latin version so he continues...). What saddens me the most is that you saved my life, worm (he's referring to way back in the saiyan saga when they first met since for a warrior is way worse offense to get their death in battle denied since he now has to suffer all what he's been through for the simple fact of having been spared=being an embarrassment). You deserve to die! I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm...".

((You got this guy having Goku in all tied up to a rock, legs spread out, slapping Goku in the face, talking about "not being enough humiliation", and saying "this attacks are not enough", all emotionally charged and intense with his obsession of a rival, high in endorphins and adrenaline, from a warrior culture, that even back in the day I was like OH MY GOOOOD!? What is he going to DO?!!... He wouldn't do it, would he?... The Buu saga was a return to form to OG DB's general feeling and tone, and if it was OG DB this scene would be absolutely interpreted as having that kind of hidden meaning even if nothing would have actually end up happening, though is still a very bold move in terms of sexual themes, just like that scene in OG DB with Bulma and the two RR soldiers. I was sweating cold, that when I heard him say "I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm" I was like OH THANK GOODNESS he's just going to mutilate him... NO, WAIT...)) (also, notice that Vegeta is technically fighting a ghost because Goku is already dead).

Unfortunately for Goku though Vegeta didn't share the safe word and he had to free himself so he wasn't actually dismembered by the intensity of Prince Vegeta and they continued their fight, once again Goku leveling the field into a in a less emotionally charged more equal fight all things considered (while also mutually complimenting their fighting prowess). They talk again and Vegeta admits to him that he understands that he's never going to surpass him because Goku is more skilled at fighting, now getting into the real meat of the matter with him and his frustrations.

We get to Vegeta almost breaking in tears again, torn by the realization of his situation confessing all about how he wants to be who he was as a warrior and how he cannot cope with his new life on Earth having all this new feelings for his family and being passive that make him feel like he is not himself. That he wants to be ruthless like before because what the hell is even being anything else, that's a thing of weaklings. Which tells a lot about how he still doesn't know how to function outside of conflict and his deeply rooted self image since childhood. I mean... this kid (Vegeta) doesn't know anything other than living in conflict, constant stress, anger, and feeling in danger all the time before and during Frieza. He was around 31 years old when he could finally be free. And to me it says that it almost feels to him like he's afraid of disappearing as an individual if he cannot go back to being something he recognizes and is familiar with as he doesn't recognize himself being something else underneath of what he's saying. A who that is completely opposite to what he has ever known. Is something some people that had lived through a deeply traumatic upbringing experience. On top of it being a Saiyan it must have been really confusing and difficult because their nature and culture is nothing like that of earthlings, Saiyan's are naturally built to fight, but Goku is the only one that could probably understand that in some capacity as pure blooded Saiyan that managed to adapt to Earth. That's why he is the only person Vegeta can trust with this information, and because Vegeta genuinely trusts him. With no one else he has this level of openness, probably not even with Bulma.

And i love how Goku doesn't give up on him though after everything and he is still willing to listen and help. Without his help here Vegeta wouldn't have confronted and put into words his reality to later internalize it and fully embrace his love for his family, fully embrace his feelings, giving Trunks later his first hug. That was all Goku's doing.

Of course things happened since they were still in the middle of total annihilation at the hands of the strongest pink ball of bubblegum. and from this fight and his explosive sacrifice/ acceptance of his destiny, going forward Vegeta actually starts acting a little different. A lot more relaxed with Kakarot, more open and sincere, more focused on helping than competing, more agreeable (without betraying his character though) and no longer ignoring or being embarrassed of his feelings for his loved ones (like we see when he gets convinced by Goku to do the fusion using Vegeta's love for Bulma). And I'm pretty sure he felt grateful and in debt to him. Not only for his help with unjumbling his feelings during that fight but for everything he's done for him since the day Goku spared his life way back in the day (as we see him asking to Piccolo if he'll get to see Goku in the afterlife just before he sacrifices). A real true honest best friend/rival for life (like we see evident in the movie Fusion Reborn, which is supposed to happen after his sacrifice in an alternate timeline where both Goku and Vegeta die and Gohan is the one that defeats Buu).

Though he still was being a bit stubborn about wanting to fight Buu himself in the anime, but in the manga he just doesn't charge head first into trying to battle him, he just doesn't like the idea of fussing with Kakarot.

Then the fusion thing...

The thing about the fusion is that Vegeta usually never wants to do it because he's embarrassed by the dance (which yeah... that's absolutely fair) but this is not the metamoran one, is the Potara, and they don't need to dance. His usual complains then change to "I just don't like to be fused with him" or "I don't like the idea of uniting bodies with him" when they have to do it later (either in canon or movie, though the "I don't like to use shortcuts to fight" frequently comes as a reason but is always after they already did the fusion). And I don't know how doing a fusion with someone would feel like but the Potara at least has two ways it can go. For the Kaios just one person becomes the main, getting some physical characteristics and power of the other, and the other becomes dormant, just one person gets to be conscious. But for mortals, both actually remain conscious and they both "live" inside the body of each other as one new combined persona who is a combined identity, mixing mentally and physically, sharing memories, thoughts, feelings, everything in unison either the other wants it or not because when they are fused they are cooperating in a single brain so they think the same under this persona even if later they have separate thoughts on the same thing when they un-fuse. One example of how the logic of it is is in the Super Super Hero movie, where right after the battle with Cell Max Gotenks makes a comment to Bulma and she says "that was Trunks, wasn't it?!", and Gotenks panics and they separate, implying that even if it's a combined identity they still are conscious inside separately and can "influence" their thoughts to act more like so or so, like there's a dominant consciousness guiding the other at times. The fusion is even better actually if they are rivals because they get the rival boost. So is not too crazy to think that some would consider it a very intimate act, even more because is permanent (until the retcon), which Goku is so considerate to tell Vegeta at the very last minute and he's like "WTF!" and Goku is just down with it while Vegeta is regretting ever meeting this guy but does it anyways.

And we have seen other characters combine but they don't think much about it, Trunks and Goten specifically just find it fun because they are best friends and just think about having the time of their lives beating up the bad guys. But I think Vegeta specifically does feel like it's something too personal and intimate that requires a lot his will power to do. His concept of it is different for a lot of reasons that all derive from being a very reserved person in general in many aspects, so he is trusting his entire being and accepting opening to Goku here, and to a degree loose control of himself in an give-and-take act, because he is not silly like Goku but under the fusion he is going to be and act silly alongside him because there's no me and you under it, even switch his brain into feeling it's natural. Same with Goku and being more cruel and mock their opponent more even if he usually would feel is something he wouldn't do.

Ultimately and reluctantly Vegeta agrees for the sake of his loved ones and saving his new home, which is wild to me because he does sacrifices everything he is with the fusion being permanent since just a few hours ago he was just accepting himself as an individual. The pressure was really high.

Goku certainly didn't thought much about it though, just another way to become even stronger by cooperating with someone in a new way for the purpose of saving Earth, and simply not loose the battle for the sake of not loosing itself. He considered his options with others purely strategically without thinking what it could mean outside of that for him as an individual in that moment, because he did understood that if he fused with Gohan for example he thought for a moment if that would mean he would have to go to Gohan's school after they win, but in that moment he was definitely panicking for options just to win the battle and then later he could think about the consequences, as always (he was seriously considering fusing with Mr Satan permanently at the lack of strategic options! How desperate and out of your mind can you get!).

Out of all people it was better if it's Vegeta when he detected his ki of course, because the power boost is much greater to save the Earth and he considers him different at this point, someone he likes better as a selfless guy after his valiant sacrifice. He's so excited when Vegeta accepts because it means so much, it's the demonstration to Goku of his turn to an actual good guy, fighting for others and not just himself, and he's so proud. And the result of the fusion is this very playful, sassy confident and cocky warrior that we all know and love because is the best thing ever and I don't have Vegetto favoritism.

But something did changed in both of them after the fusion. I know is an anime only thing for better pacing (at least until Super came and made it a thing again in small ways of its own), but after the fusion thing Goku started to unnecessarily get into Vegeta's personal space more (I mean, I don't think there's anything more intimate than fussing and you'd have to get a level of trust and understanding with that other person like with no one else ever afterwards regardless). Like, I like that when they do the cheek to cheek attack, which again was completely unnecessary, Vegeta feels dirty about it, even muttering to himself "He's an opportunist...(as in like, Goku was sexuality taking advantage of him) I would have preferred the fusion" and Goku asks him is he's finished blasting Buu bits and Vegeta recoils and yells "Don't get close to me!". (In the manga there's not really that much fuss about it when they separate, they just get to work and directly from separating to Buu's brain).

The fusion represents the pinnacle of their growth together as fighting partners (and partners in general). Probably even more than that at this point for how much they share as rivals and how much they understand about each other above any other person, including their own wives in some regards for all they have gone through on things only they can share between themselves like their love for battle.

And if they both were friendly before while still keeping their cards up, now is when they start to act more like brothers and cooperating. Goku with his power and techniques and Vegeta with his strategic planing at the end of the Buu saga. Goku even becomes more playful with Vegeta, even sharing funny moments together. And as pointed out, I believe the fusion made them know the thinking, memories and intentions of the other to a degree.

This is the turning point for Goku as well regarding accepting his heritage as Saiyan. Because from then on he also accepts the values of the Saiyans as warriors (when before he would be more likely against it) and accepts feeling pleasure in having a good fair honorable fight without aid and relying only in his strength and talent just for the thrill he gets of it (much like what he felt as a child/teen), which he demonstrates by breaking the second pair of Potara earrings while Vegeta responds by telling him that he's so proud of him for going into the fight the Saiyan way. Also from then on others start to recognize Goku fully as a Saiyan (so much is the influence Vegeta has had on him that in the Super Broly movie Goku introduces himself to Broly, a fellow Saiyan, as Kakarot first over Goku).

Now, about Vegeta with the fusion, if he wasn't too sure about the fusion first, now every time the fusion is required he almost feels violated by the suggestion (which right before the kid Buu fight he actually didn't mind fusing again and kinda wanted it in the anime while this wasn't in the manga but ok). And of course, if he didn't had much thoughts on getting close and personal with Goku when battling because it meant nothing (like the arm riding in the Saiyan saga and their almost gory bondage session prior), now he recoils from him in certain situations (it... also didn't help that the first time they fuse they went dick first...).

Also also, there's a moment in the manga when Goku is fighting kid Buu in Ssj3 where Vegeta tells Goku that he guessed Goku was fighting overtime because he never intended for Vegeta to have his turn (because if he dies he dies for real), and Goku says that is not that, that he is just looking for an opportunity to reunite his power for at least a minute, and Vegeta gets all tsundere, blushes and says "So... So you weren't doing it to protect me?!..." (lol, well, here's the latin translation but you get the idea)

And onto Super, they made this thing about Goku asking Vegeta to grab his hand in order to instant transmission but Goku knows very well that's not necessary, he could have said to Vegeta to grab his shoulder like others do but he wants him to grab his hand, and Vegeta gets all flustered and nervous every time as if people are going to make fun of him for being gay or something (since we are told by the Pilaf gang that holding hands is very romantic and a sign of being a couple, and something to be embarrassed about, although from a childish perspective of course but this information was set up for the audience when Trunks wanted to hold hands with Mai). Like... Goku, do you have something to share as well?

They later spent 3 years in the hyperbolic chamber at Goku's request... 3 years together just sparing in a void where there's nothing but infinity and them! (At most they had spent not even two weeks of net interaction prior to that in all the years they have known each other, mostly just in times of conflict and as enemies/rivals/competition, and now they'll spend three years doing what they both love to do the most in friendly terms getting to know each other, just the two of them, are you kidding me?!!) which again, it wasn't really necessary because as Vegeta points out that wasn't going to make much of a difference in terms of power because they are at their limit of what their bodies can achieve by just fighting, and three years is a bit too much. And Bulma even got jealous/angry about Vegeta accepting the invitation. I know Goku went around asking a lot of other people the same request before him, but also everyone in the room (well Bulma and Piccolo) suddenly were paying A LOT of attention in that moment he asked Vegeta and what was he going to answer.

And then! They come out like they did? Matching beards? Truly looking like Spartans for real?! I kinda want to wonder how that came to be. A dare? They broke the razor or what. Obviously the implication is that they got so into their fighting that they just forgot basic higiene those last days but like... I don't even have to try...

It's become such a well known thing that there's something going on that even in official material (not canon exactly but official) acknowledges it. Maybe Goku knows something we don't since the fusion happened but it goes a little beyond just a joke from his part XD.

And i haven't talked about it because contrary to Vegeta Goku is very straightforward, but Goku has no shame or filter. He does seem to display asexual tendencies, but he's either oblivious to sexual stuff at times and how it affects others, or does it on purpose because he feels not much about it but does know how it affects others. So that cheek to cheek attack could have been Goku being oblivious, or Vegeta was right and Goku took advantage of the situation to get close to Vegeta on purpose. He's also known since always to not really care about the social conventions of things. He's a good guy, but he's also reckless, impulsive at times, and if he wants something he'll just get it without thinking of what are others going to think about it.

In GT there's actually not too much, they just remain companions and friends for life...(Is just so cute and fulfilling seeing them being like brothers). Vegeta again reminiscing of everything they've gone through and accepting his role in the powerscale and being very freaking cute with Bulma, being such a dad and all. The highlight is the fusion again though, where Vegeta is the one that says he wants to do the fusion "So what have you decided, Kakarot. Are we going to do the fusion or not", to which Goku just laughs and Vegeta is like "what are you laughing at", and Goku responds saying that "I'm not laughing, I just feel happy because is the first time you ask ME to do the fusion", and Vegeta is just averts his eyes and says "I hate you...", lol.

Of course, the bromance tones might be just fanservice (I didn't knew that in shonen is actually very common but if it is that way I'd argue is exactly because of these two since they were the OGs). But either if there's something or not I don't really care much about that. Because as characters I have seen them grow so much and they have learn so much about themselves and each other that them possibly being into each other might as well be just another aspect they allow themselves to explore if they're down with it, with whatever canon or the anime presents us to see and guess, just like they have with their own families, wives, form friendships, discover new feelings, ways of thinking, how they have become stronger and how they have change the people around them, meta speaking as well. Because it does feel natural for them, like it didn't came out of nowhere or out of purely fanservice (which it kind of is but it does make sense). Either they are just friends, honorary brothers or something more I'm happy with who they have become thanks to each other. And the trust they have for each other is what is beautiful to see reflected. I'm so proud of them and what they have achieved. Now they are inseparable as the best duo in history.

And in my conclusions I would say that Vegeta might feel something towards Goku for how much he has helped him and how he has come to admire and respect him in levels unimaginable... in a spartan kinda way if you like and if he ever was down with it. And Goku is just Goku. He loves in a storge kind of way because that's what he does. He knows Vegeta to a T, knows what he needs, and wants him to be happy as well and become the better version of himself, to feel comfortable and feel loved too because he admires him as well, and if he can help him he will do so. Is not really a physical sexual attraction (which doesn't mean it cannot derive on one if you want and as we've seen, specially with Goku) but there IS attraction and love in a different way.