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astroboots · 1 year

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Issue #11

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: Miguel brings you gifts.

Word count: 3,600

Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist

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Stark’s courier service arrives at your hotel the following day, a crew of four brawny looking men dressed in overalls, carrying in some 13 boxes of equipment, which take up the majority of the floor space of your luxury suite.

It finds residence in the seating area of the hotel room. Fancy looking gadgets of shiny chrome and colorful LED lights that look like they were stolen from the movie set of Back to the Future.

Miguel sets up shop, turning the pink girly vanity dressing table into an impromptu workbench. It’s where he’s been seated most of the last 36 hours, hunched over the tiny little table tinkering with the watch and various futuristic looking mechanical gears at all hours of the night.

The laser scalpel he’s using might be soundless, but Miguel sure isn’t. Last night, you’d been constantly woken up by his growling as he trashes another expensive looking tool with an angry growl. Pacing the room for a few minutes, mumbling and complaining about the cheap quality of Stark tech and how primitive this world is. Then he's right back at it, sitting back down on the little pink velvet ottoman to continue tinkering.

Tonight is no different. You’re in bed, scrolling your phone to unwind before going to sleep, when you hear him grumble again then stab the laser scalpel into the surface of the table.

Peeling off the fluffy comfortable quilt wrapped around you, you make your way over to him before he destroys any more fancy furniture you can never dream of affording to replace on your modest salary.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, as you stand behind him.

“Bastard’s tagged the thing with a receptor that feeds information about any modifications made back to him. It’s booby trapped so that if I try to remove it, the whole thing will disintegrate.”

You lean over to peer at the desk over his shoulder, observing the arc reactor that's pulsing like a beating heart with a glow of blue.

“Does it matter? Let him have your technology.”

In the reflection of the vanity mirror, you can see the small muscle in his jaw tic with irritation.

“No,” he says flatly, picking up the scalpel again from where it’s wedged into the table. “We can’t risk him getting a hold of inter-dimensional technology. I don’t want Stark to be able to locate and come after you.”

Oh Jesus, not this again.

“I already told you, I’m not interested in Tony Stark." You resist the urge to roll your eyes at part two of Miguel's unwarranted jealousy feud with Stark. Didn’t the two of you have a heartfelt conversation about this?

“That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

He's grinding down on his jaw with irritated anger at whatever it is he’s thinking but not sharing with you. “We can’t trust him.”

“He’s a superhero, Miguel, just like you. If we can't trust him, then I don't know who we can trust.”

Miguel's mouth pulls into a grim and tight line at your words. For a brief moment, you think you catch a hint of fear on his face, before he breaks eye contact and turns away, back towards the bench. It takes you by surprise because you didn’t think Miguel was scared of anything.

“Tony Stark is one of the good guys,” you try again.

You rest a hand on the edge of his shoulder, trying to help placate his unease. “He’s an Avenger, remember? It's their job to protect the world.”

It dawns on you when you hear the words from your own mouth. The reason why he doesn’t want Tony Stark to be able to keep tabs on you and come after you.

The Avengers are meant to protect the world from any threats, and right now one of the greatest threats to this world is… you.

“Oh,” the tiny sound punches out of you as a yawning pit of uncertainty and fear opens up in your stomach.

One in every 40 New Yorkers will have a run-in with Superhero in their time in the city.

You've just always thought that, if your turn to encounter the Avengers came, it would be as a grateful civilian saved from the clutches of evil. You never thought it would be because you were the danger the world needed saving from.

Miguel must sense the moment the realization hits you, because he sets aside his tools and takes your hand, gently stroking the palm of it with his thumb.

"You have nothing to worry about, it’s just going to take some time," he murmurs, and he looks up at you with such warmth it makes the anxiety in you thaw slightly. "I'll be done with it soon.”

He eyes the arc reactor, not letting go of your hand. "Try to get some sleep."

You fall asleep to the white noise of tinkering metal and Miguel’s frustrated murmured curses. The noises should annoy you, but they don't. You find it oddly comforting, being able to hear Miguel move around in the same room as you when you’re in bed. Know with every fiber of your being that his presence means you're safe and easily drift fast asleep.

You don't know how long you stay asleep for or how much sleep you manage to catch before you feel the bed dip beside you.

"Hey," a voice softly cajoles you. There's a warm palm on your shoulder, gently nudging you awake. But you're not prepared to wake yet. Too comfortable in the haze of sleep to give it up.

You bury your head into the pillow, hoping to shut out any interference that's trying to keep you from your sleep.

"Cielito," the gentle voice tries again. "Wake up."

Grumpily and with great resistance, you strain to turn your head, squinting your eyes awake to see Miguel's face filling your vision.

It’s dark in here save for a small lamp left on in the far off corner. In this muted light, his scarlet eyes are illuminated with an otherworldly brilliance. If you had been more awake, you would have wanted to take a second or two to marvel at how beautiful they are.

"I got something for you," he says.

There’s a barely contained eagerness in his voice as he speaks, and sleepy as you are, it peaks your interest. You blink your eyes properly open, adjusting to the dim dark to see two small boxes set next to your pillow.

"Miguel, it's..." you flick your wrist towards you, when you remember the watch is no longer there. It’s odd how naked you feel without Lyla as your constant companion on your wrist.

You awkwardly prop yourself up on an elbow with great effort to figure out time the old fashioned way, glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

In a bright glaring LED, the digits announce: 01:00.

Past midnight?! Has he lost his mind?

"It's one in the morning! Why are you waking me up after midnight!?"

Unbothered by your outrage, he continues to lean across you to drag one of the boxes closer.

"I'm finally done modifying the parallel universe traversal device, so I got you something to celebrate."

You blink up at him in surprise. When he said he’d be done soon, you didn’t think he meant tonight.

“It’s from that place you wanted Stark to take you," he says, opening the box one-handed to reveal a gaudy looking golden donut waiting for you.

Then he drags the second box over, setting it next to the first and flips the lid open. Inside are half a dozen cinnamon-sugared donuts.

"And these are regular old donuts, from the Lower East Side for fifty cents each. We can do a comparison test. If that ugly golden donut is tastier, I’ll chop off my arm.”

You snort out a laugh. His one-sided feud with Tony Stark is alive and well you see. You don’t understand why this has become such a point of contention for him. Stark had never actually suggested he was going to get you golden donuts.

Before you have the chance to dig in, Miguel puts out his hand, palm up, on the mattress in invitation. "Give me your hand first," he instructs.

You oblige him, placing your hand in the middle of his, and he wraps the familiar watch around your wrist. Except it’s not as familiar as you remember it to be. It’s considerably chunkier now to accommodate Stark's arc reactor that sits in the middle and if anything it looks more like a cuff bracelet than a watch.

But you don’t mind, you’re glad to have the comforting weight of it back on your arm, wrist no longer feeling quite so naked.

“It’s bulkier than I would’ve liked. But there’s no helping how primitive Stark’s tech is,” Miguel snarks, clearly pleased with himself even though the man he’s bitching about isn’t even in the room to hear his clever insults.

In the gloomy light, the bright blue gem of the arc reactor shines back at you like a precious jewel. If you didn’t know better, you’d think you were wearing jewelry fit for royalty.

"I like this upgrade on the watch. It’s pretty.”

"Not a watch," Miguel corrects, but he's not scolding you. The fondness in his voice is plainly there.

Looking up you meet his eyes to see the open affection that's there for you. Your face warms under his unwavering attention, until you have to duck your head down, unable to hold his gaze anymore.

You reach over the bed, to busy yourself, bypassing the golden donut to pick up one of the plain cinnamon ones. In the corner of your eye, you catch his lips curve into a smile as you take a large bite of the regular-non-golden donut.

He would gloat about that, wouldn’t he, the overgrown childish brat. You grin around the mouthful, as the sugar melts onto the tip of your tongue and you moan loudly at the perfect warm cinnamon that floods your senses.

Miguel is still smiling at you warmly, face propped in his broad hand as he watches you eat, and the heat in your face reaches an almost feverish pitch under his gaze.

"So what's next?" you force yourself to ask him over a muffled mouthful to distract yourself.

"Get some rest, sleep in. We'll take this for a few test drives in the morning to make sure it works the way it's supposed to, and then I'll take you to my home world."

There's a jittery sensation. A mix of exhilaration, excitement and anxiety blending with the sugar in your stomach at the unknown that waits before you. Even though you knew this day was coming since your visit at Wong, now that the time has come you're nervous.

The only world you’ve ever known is your own. You’re hardly an intrepid traveler. During your gap year in Europe, the use of the metric system was a culture shock for you. You can't even begin to imagine what it'll be like to travel to another alternate reality.

But you’re going to have to do it—and keep doing it, if Wong is correct.

Will you need to get a whole new wardrobe to fit in with the fashion trends of each universe? Will you have to learn new languages? Will there be a thousand sets of unfamiliar customs and quirks you’ll have to learn to adapt to?

…Will Miguel be there for any of it?

Biting down on your lip, you try to stave off the tight knot in your stomach.

One thing that's become clear is that even if Miguel takes you to his world, you won’t be able to stay there for very long. You aren’t going to be able to stay anywhere for very long.

Even if he intends to give you Lyla for good or build you another device that allows you to jump from world to world... what then?

Will he come with you?

Or will you be left to travel by yourself from one unknown world to another?

The loneliness of that fate makes your stomach hurt. You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit that you want him to come with you more than anything, but you have no right to ask that of him. Not after everything he’s already done for you.

Like he can read your mind, Miguel gives you an appraising look.

"Once we're in Nueva York, we'll stay there for as long as it's safe," Miguel says, leaning across your lap to snag a donut from the box next to you for himself, and you try to ignore the heat that goes skittering through your leg when his arm brushes past your knee. "Then we'll jump to the next location."

You watch him scarf the cinnamony treat down in two mouthfuls, barely chewing. Your heart leaps excitedly until it jumps all the way to your throat.

"We?"

He grins, crumbs of caramelized sugar dotted on the curve of his lips. "I can't leave you by yourself, can I?"

Your mouth opens and closes, then opens again and you leave it there, hanging in the air, probably looking incredibly dumb and speechless.

You don’t know what to say to him. Don’t think there are adequate words in the English dictionary capable of expressing how happy it makes you to know that you’ll have him by your side. 'Thank you' seems incredibly lacking.

Somehow despite that you are both sitting down, he still dwarfs you and from your seated position you barely come up to his shoulders. You don’t quite know why you do it, but you move before you think, getting to your knees to lean up and place a small kiss on his cheek.

A faint pink tinges his cheeks at the small contact. Then it’s his turn to duck down. He scoots over, bringing the smaller donut box closer to you.

"Eat your golden donut," he says.

You peer up at him. The way his mouth pulls into a tiny and almost shy smile, and happiness buzzes in your chest at the sight.

A dopey smile spreads across your cheeks as you watch him. The way he rubs one broad hand over his jaw to hide his reddening face from you.

Taking the box from him, you look down at the shiny pastry. If your words are failing you, maybe food can speak for you instead. You pick up the golden donut in your hand and hold it out to him.

“You go first,” you offer.

There’s not a second of hesitation from Miguel. He leans down and takes a large bite of the gilded pastry, fangs first, puncturing the soft, squishy dough.

The whole thing bursts, and you squeal with laughter as the champagne flavored jelly filling squirts across his bottom lip, onto your fingers and drips onto the sheets below.

“Miguel, you’re making a complete mess!”

You lick up the sticky jam from your fingers as you watch him. There’s dust of gold smudging against his cheeks and even on his nose as he takes another bite. You’re tittering with amusement at the sight of him.

“Here you got some–” you bring your thumb to help him wipe at the corner of his mouth.

For a man who doesn’t like casual touches, sneering even at the idea of handshakes as a greeting at work, he doesn’t seem to mind yours.

Miguel lets you rub off the flecks of gold from his cheek, eyes dropping half-closed in contentment. His jaw moves under your hand as his mouth drops open, then he presses his lips to the inside of your palm.

It’s a barely there touch, but it has warmth furl from the middle of your stomach and blooms outward, spreading to the rest of you.

In this gigantic Wyoming king-sized bed, Miguel is seated close enough to you that your knees touch. He’s close. So close that you can feel the heat rolling off of his big body.

Somehow that's not close enough, because you close the remaining distance between you, until your knee is pressed against the firm inside of his thigh, his broad shoulders brush against yours.

It wouldn’t take much now. If you leaned up at this moment. If you tilted your head upwards even slightly. Your lips would be on his.

You shouldn’t, the small voice in your head warns. Kissing him is probably not a good idea.

He might not feel the same. Kissing him might change something irreparably between you, and then who will you travel the outer limits of the universe with?

But... if you're going to die tomorrow or the next day or next week, then what does it all matter anyhow? What’s a little bit of rejection when the end of the world is hiding right behind the next corner.

You tilt up and press your lips to his top lip, then the full lower one. It’s chaste and brief, and only lasts for a second. But for a first time it’s familiar and intimate in a way that it can only be with you and Miguel.

His lips are warm and dry and slightly open under the press of yours and it sends a fluttering warmth from the tip of your nose to the end of your fingertips.

You pull back with the tiniest movement, nose still brushing against his, as you gather the courage to look up at his face and try to find out if you just made a terrible mistake.

Those scarlet eyes are staring down at you in that familiar way you catch him doing sometimes. When he thinks you're not paying attention to him and his eyes lingers on your face.

His thumb catches behind your ear, face inching closer, and then he’s kissing you back. It’s sweet and electric, the sensation surges through you with a giddiness that makes your toes curl.

Miguel presses his lips to yours and holds you there. Long consecutive kisses that don't let you pull up for air. His other hand gently cups your face, thumb stroking the apple of your cheeks like you’re the most precious thing his big hands has ever held.

You want this to last, that it could always be like this. You want it to be you and him.

This man who brings you cupcakes when you’re crying. Who saves you the best portion of the food that he likes even though he’s a glutton. Who folds you paper flowers and leaves them on your desk to make you smile when you’re having a bad day at work. A man who stays by your side through the end of the world and never asks you for anything in return.

You love him.

One large hand covers the back of your neck. He tilts you back, like he’s trying to shield and protect you as he holds you. Holds you like he’s never going to let go.

Then he stops.

Why is he stopping?

He stiffens above you, the whole of his back tensing. You chase his lips but he is already pulling back and away from you.

Your eyes open to the muted darkness of the room.

In front of you, Miguel is looking at you with an expression you can't pin down. Eyes wide, and distracted. For a terrifying moment, you think that the look on his face is one of regret.

Maybe he realized he doesn’t feel that way about you after all. Maybe he's trying to find a way to let you down gently.

You pull back and study his face.

No… it’s not that.

His expression is the same distant look he had two seconds before a helicopter crashed into your apartment. The same tension in his eyes that will have him hauling you into his arms to protect you from a rogue vehicle. The same pinch in his brow when he’ll stop a conversation with you mid-sentence because the ceiling is about to cave in and he needs to push you out of harm’s way.

Something is wrong.

A cold sliver of fear crawls up your spine as Miguel’s face turns, and he stares into the empty space of the room beyond the bed.

There’s speck of pink spilling onto the sheets on your lap like the color of the sun on stained glass from the outside.

You follow his gaze in the direction of the radiant dusk pouring in from the window.

It’s too bright for one A.M, enough to be blinding.

Pulling away the quilt from your body, you slide out of bed and walk towards the brightness pouring in from the outside until you’re standing in front of the wide glass panes of the balcony.

You look up at the sky, and it’s not the familiar calm midnight-blue. There are vivid streaks of fluorescent pink and glowing purple staining the sky. There are fractures in the sky like someone took a sledge hammer to it and cracked it wide open.

The cityscape looks like it is folding onto itself. Skyscrapers, bridges, and streets are contorted and warped like badly-folded origami. The impossible architecture reminds you of a M.C Escher painting you saw on a school trip at MoMA as a child.

Outside, the pavements of New York is mirrored where the sky is supposed to be. Silhouettes of skyscrapers spring out from below and above and the vast sky is wedged between. Up is down and down is up and nothing makes sense anymore.

You've seen this scene take place before, when you were under Wong's multidimensional spell.

Your universe is starting to collapse.

The end of the world is here. You’ve officially run out of time.

~ Next Issue

Dedications & Credits:

To @guruan for her endless kindness and incredibly talented. I cannot thank her enough for the art she gifts me with that constantly inspires my little squirrel brain and drives me to write like I am possessed.

And @thirstworldproblemss my babe, my bestie, my moose! Thank you for always being there with your pretty face!! I adore and love you, our friendship and time together brings me endless joy. Thank you for going on this ride with me.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderverse #marvel #across the spiderverse fanfiction #spiderverse fanfiction #marvel mcu #oscar isaac #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x you

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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months

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The REAL AI automation threat to workers

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

Long before the current wave of AI hype, we were being groomed for automation panics with misleading stories. Remember this one? "'Truck driver' is the most common job in America. Self-driving trucks are just around the corner. How can we prevent America's army of truckers from turning into a howling mob when the robots steal their jobs?"

https://futurism.com/millions-of-jobs-are-at-risk-but-their-loss-could-be-for-the-greater-good

It was absolute nonsense. First of all, "truck driver" isn't a particularly common job in America! The BLS lumps together all cargo vehicle drivers under a single classification. The category error here was thinking that every delivery van driver, furniture mover, and courier is behind the wheel of a big rig, cracking wise on a CB radio as they tear up the interstate.

But what about automation threats? It's possible that if we redesigned the interstates to give 16 wheelers their own separated lanes, and then set them to following one another, that they could traverse long distances in that way. Congratulations, you've just invented a shitty, failure-prone train.

"Shitty train AI" does not threaten the job of the vast number of people the BLS classifies as "truck drivers." For one thing, "shitty train AI" isn't going to pilot a UPS van around the streets of a busy city with other road users. Sure, a few robotaxi companies have bamboozled city governments into conscripting the city's residents into an uncontrolled murderbot experiment. These are not going well:

https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/9-key-leaders-depart-gms-cruise-amid-ongoing-investigation-into-san-francisco-incident/

More than $100b has been set on fire chasing the robotaxi dream, and the result is most charitably described as a technological curiosity, requiring 1.5 high-waged remote technicians to replace each low-waged driver:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

But even if we could perfect this technology, robots still wouldn't replace all those "truckers" who drive delivery vans (to say nothing of moving vans!). The hard part of driving a UPS van isn't just getting it from place to place – it's getting the parcel into the place. The robo-van would still need at least one person to get the parcel from the back of the van and into the reception desk, porch, or other delivery zone. It's not going to fire those parcels at your door with a catapult. It's also not going to deliver them by drones. Drone delivery is another one of those historical curiosities, capable of delivering a very narrow range of parcels, under even narrower circumstances:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#droned

If all UPS delivered was lightweight, non-fragile rectangular parcels ordered by people with large, unobstructed back yards, then sure. Congrats, you've just created the world's least-useful parcel delivery service!

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/06/amazon-drone-delivery-service-seeks-faa-approval-to-launch-in-2022/

All that said, the big rig drivers probably don't need to worry about robots stealing their jobs. It's not even clear that "shitty train" is within our technological grasp, but even if it is, there's yet another problem with the AI automation trucker jobpocalypse: "trucker" is already one of the worst jobs in America:

https://www.usatoday.com/pages/interactives/news/rigged-forced-into-debt-worked-past-exhaustion-left-with-nothing/

It's hard to overstate just how fucking terrible it is to be a trucker. Truckers are trapped in abusive debt holes by their employers – who misclassify their workforce as "contractors" in a bid to sidestep labor law. Shriven of any labor rights, truckers are forced into the most ghastly, body-destroying, family-wrcking, financially precarious existence imaginable.

You can drive a truck for years, give almost all of the money you earn back to your employer (who denies that you're their employee) to pay back the usurious loan for your truck. Then, your employer can underschedule for shifts so that you miss a loan payment, and they can repo your truck and keep the six-figure repayment you've already made to them, leaving you destitute.

They can force you to work for hours – days! – without pay while you wait for loading and dispatch. They can make you drive long past the point of safety, then, if (when) you get into a wreck, they can fine you for not taking the mandated rest breaks.

Now, these drivers aren't about to be replaced by AI – but that doesn't mean that AI won't affect their jobs. Commercial drivers are among the most heavily surveilled workers in the country. Amazon's drivers (whom Amazon misclassifies as subcontractors) have their eyeballs monitored by AI;

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

AIs monitor the voices of the (primarily Black, primarily female) workforce at Arise – homeworkers who field customer service calls for blue-chip companies like Carnival Cruises and Disney. They're listening for unruly children or pets in the background, and workers who fail to muffle these dependents lose the contracts they have to pay to train for:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/22/paperback-writer/#toothless

And AI monitors the conduct of workers on temp-work apps. If a worker is dispatched to a struck workplace and refuses to cross the picket-line, the AI boss fires you and blacklists you from future jobs for refusing to robo-scab:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork

Writing in The Guardian, Steven Greenhouse describes the AI-enabled workplace, where precarious, often misclassified workers are monitored, judged, and fined by algorithms:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/jan/07/artificial-intelligence-surveillance-workers

Whether it's the robot that gets you disciplined for sending an email with the word "union" in it or the robot that takes money out of your paycheck if you take a bathroom break, AI has come for the workplace with a vengeance.

Here's a supreme irony: nearly all of the beneficial applications for AI require that AI be used to help workers, not replace them, which is absolutely not how AI is used in the workplace. An AI that helps radiologists by giving them a second opinion might help them find tumors on x-rays, but that's a tool that reduces the number of scans a radiologist processes in a shift, by making them go back and reconsider the scans they've already processed:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

But AI's sales pitch is not "Buy an AI tool and increase your costs while increasing your accuracy." The pitch for AI is "buy and AI and save money by firing workers." Given how bad AIs are at replacing humans, this is a bad deal all around, both for the worker who loses their job and the customer who gets the substandard product the AI makes.

There is a very limited slice of applications where an AI could make a lot of money for a company that deploys it, without costing that company anything when the AI screws up. For example, AI is a really good tool for fraud! Rather than paying people to churn out millions of variations on a phishing email, you can get an AI to do it. If the AI writes a bad phishing email, it's OK, since nearly all recipients of even good phishing emails delete them. What's more, no one will fine you or publish an op-ed demanding that your board of directors fire you if you buy an incompetent AI to commit fraud. Fraud is a high-value, low-consequence environment for using AI.

Another one of those applications is managing precarious workers who don't have labor rights. If the AI unfairly docks your worker's wages, or forces them to work until they injure themselves or others, or decides that their eyeball movements justify firing them, those workers have no recourse. That's the whole point of pretending that your employees are contractors: so you can violate labor law with impunity!

But that's not the ironic part. The ironic part is that "being a shitty boss" is the one AI application that companies are willing to increase their net spending on. No one buys an eyeball-monitoring AI so they can fire a manager. This is the one place where AI is there to augment, rather than replace, an employee.

This makes AI-based bossware subtly different from other forms of Taylorism, the "scientific management" fad of the early 20th century that saw management consultants choreographing the postures and movements of workers to satisfy the aesthetic fetishes of their employers:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

The pseudoscientific cod-ergonomics of the 1900s was demeaning and even dangerous, but it wasn't automated, and if it increased worker output, this was incidental to the real purpose of making workers move like the machine-cogs their bosses reassured themselves they were:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

Every AI panic is a way of deflecting attention from the real, grimy, here-and-now ways that AI is destroying our lives by demanding that we entertain nonsensical science fiction claims about large, shiny existential risks that AI might present in the future.

The "X-risk" of the spicy autocomplete chatbot waking up and using its newfound sentience to turn us all into paperclips is nonsense. Adding words to the plausible sentence generator doesn't turn it into a superintelligence for the same reason that selectively breeding faster horses doesn't lead to locomotives:

https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/

But there is a way that AI could destroy the human race! The carbon footprint and water consumption associated with training and operating large-scale models are significant contributors to the climate emergency, which threatens the habitability of the only planet in the known universe capable of sustaining human life:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2023/04/14/ais-unsustainable-water-use-how-tech-giants-contribute-to-global-water-shortages/

Likewise, AI isn't going to replace you at work. But it's already augmenting your shitty boss's ability to rip you off, torment you, maim you and even kill you in order to eke out a few more basis points for the next shareholder report.

Science fiction is a fun and useful way to tell parables about our current technologies. But it's not a roadmap for the future. The fact that sf writers like me found AIs as useful measures to describe Earth's dominant artificial life form – the limited liability corporation – doesn't mean that superhuman AIs should – or can – be created.

Back the Kickstarter for the DRM-free audiobook of The Bezzle, read by Tumblr's own @wilwheaton!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #labor #ai #disciplinary technology #bossware #automation #robots stole my jerb #surveillance #privacy first

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penny-anna · 5 months

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Ordered an item of flat pack furniture the other day

Yesterday get an email saying they missed me. Don't think much of this as I had my headphones on so prolly didn't hear the bell.

Today get another missed delivery email. That's a little odd as I have been sitting quietly on my sofa all day.

I'll just check in case I gave them my old address or something

Worse than that!!

Gave them my current address but w the back half of the postcode of my old address

They are trying to deliver to an address that does not exist

(one could point out that it'd be pretty easy to identify where it's supposed to go but w/e that's not the courier's problem)

Tomorrow will be their third & final attempt

Ok I'll contact Evri (the courier)

Website suggests arranging a re-direct to your correct address but have to choose from a list of my ''''neighbours'''' IE addresses on the street w the postcode I entered

They have live chat on their website but its a robot

Robot takes my details and says someone will be in touch

Not really sufficient I need to sort this before the end of the day

Call them. It's just another robot

Find their actual customer service number online. Select the right sounding option in the phone tree. It's just more robot.

Choose a different option till I get a real person

'hi I know this is the wrong extension but please help'

They say up to 48 hours for my call to be returned & suggest I contact the seller

Seller's website has live chat

It's yet another robot!!

Fortunately it puts me through to a real person

Yeah they can't help

'evri doesn't change postcodes' well fuck me I guess

Fortunately the postcode I put in is adjacent to my actual postcode so fingers crossed whatever location it gets sent to for collection will be nearby

Message my 1 friend w a car like hi. I need you to help me. Bcos I'm stupid.

I might be stupid.

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rideboomindia · 1 year

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#rideboomindia #rideboom delhi #delhi airport #delivery #taxi #taxiapp #travel #airport taxi

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josefavomjaaga · 1 year

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That one time, when Soult accused Joseph of treason … (Part 4)

Yes, there’s a part 4. Because Joseph’s letter about the outrageous suspicions Soult held about him actually did reach its destination, brother dearest Napoleon, despite the fact this was 1812, the year of the Russian campaign.

So what if there was a major war going on? Joseph’s royal dignity was compromised! First things first!

And just for the record: Here are Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 of this little royal drama.

The fact Joseph’s letter actually was carried through all the obstacles to its recipient as far as Moscow says a lot about the dedication of its courier, Colonel Desprez. Whom I imagine a bit like a gauche version of Duroc. At least he seems to have had Duroc’s sense of tact. Desprez had been sent by Joseph to meet and discuss with Soult some time before the battle of Salamanca and seems to have managed to remain in good graces with both men, which cannot have been a small feat. Fun fact: Desprez’ daughter would one day become the second wife of Soult’s son.

Here’s what Madame la comtesse Merlin has to say about this aide de camp of Joseph’s:

We often saw Colonel Desprez, aide-de-çamp to the king. He was highly educated, and had, in addition, an innate taste for beauty. He was as sensitive as a woman, though a little caustic. He often got distracted in ways that made him seem quite likeable. But if one came to tell of some good or honourable deed, then his eyes moistened; one could see that he was on board. His clumsiness was inimitable: he never entered a salon without bumping into all the furniture, he would cling to the women's dresses or jump over the tabourets with both feet, which amused us greatly. Among the people I knew at that time, he is one of the few who have always kept my memory and friendship. Consistency in affection was neither the least rare nor the least valuable of his qualities.

So, this amiable if a little clumsy guy was on his way to convey to Napoleon all his brother's fury over Marshal Soult. His first stop, however, was in Paris, with Clarke, in order to inform him – not of Soult’s suspicions about Joseph (that was for Napoleon only), but about his disobedience when Joseph ordered him to send 10,000 men to Madrid, and about the general situation in Spain after the battle of Salamanca. Desprez sent a report to Joseph before setting out again:

Paris, 22 September 1812

Sire, I arrived in Paris yesterday, 21st of this month. I presented myself at once to the Minister of War, and gave him the letter of Your Majesty, as well as those of Marshal Jourdan. His Excellency questioned me about the affairs of Spain, but without asking me for my dispatches for the Emperor; he has, in accordance with Your Majesty's intentions, provided me with the necessary directives to continue my journey with celerity.

This morning the Minister sent for me, and I had a long conference with him. He urged me to explain to him with frankness what I had noticed during my stay in Andalusia, and showed me some concern about the influence which the Marshal could exert both on the army and on the civil authorities.

Needless to say, Clarke had swallowed the Roi Nicolas stories hook, line and sinker.

He recalled the intrigues of Portugal, and concluded by telling me that he was shedding the character of minister before me in order to talk with a man of your confidence, and that the services which you had rendered him at the time of his disgrace should be a guarantee for Your Majesty of the desire he had to act according to your instructions.

Clarke: So, does Joseph want to get rid of Soult? I’m all yours!

However frank these overtures may have seemed to me, I did not think it necessary to speak of the most delicate part of my mission. I only replied that the army of the south would always be that of the Emperor; that when His Majesty sent his determined orders, he would be obeyed; and that all that I had heard in Andalusia left me no doubt on this subject.

I am not sure if Desprez here really gave the answer Joseph expected or wanted to hear. Actually, Desprez almost takes Soult’s side and defends him against the accusations.

Moreover, my conversation with the Duc de Feltre proved to me that no letter of the nature of that of which I am the bearer had yet reached him, and this is a favourable circumstance for my mission.

I spoke with His Excellency about the resistance which the chiefs of the French army in Spain had always opposed to Your Majesty's orders. He declared that all had been placed under your orders, and without any restriction; that before his departure, the Emperor had expressed his astonishment at the doubts which Your Majesty's letters showed in this respect, and that he had ordered that his intentions be made known in an even more positive manner. [Some discussion about Suchet – sic! -, Dorsenne and Caffarelli refusing to obey Joseph’s orders.] As to the formal disobedience of Marshal Soult, His Excellency said at first that Your Majesty had the right to take away his command; but he then agreed that a similar step could only be taken by the express order of the Emperor.

Because - of course Joseph is in command – but not that much in command.

The minister also entered into some details on the military affairs. The orders given by Your Majesty and by Marshal Jourdan, at the various times of the campaign, have had, he told me, the general approval; and what the Emperor has written, since he learned of the battle of Salamanca, proves that he gives Your Majesty full credit. Public opinion, in this respect, is even more pronounced than that of the men in office; and I cannot express to Your Majesty with what rigour Marshals Soult and Marmont are judged in France. […]

Well, we’ll see about that. In particular as far as little brother Napoleon is concerned.

After having sent off this letter to Joseph – it’s actually a lot longer, I only cited the parts concerning Soult -, Desprez started for Germany and Poland, where he hoped to still reach Napoleon. In vain. The Grande Armée was already wading knee-deep in shit on its way to Moscow.

And Desprez followed them. All the way to, by then, burnt down Moscow. And despite all the cossacks waylaying French couriers, he actually got there.

On 18 October, the day before Napoleon’s army left again.

So, perfect timing. Just the right moment to treat Napoleon with yet another chapter out of the endless story of Joseph versus Soult. Some of Napoleon’s reaction can be guessed from the brief letter to Clarke that he sent off on the next day.

From “The Confidential Correspondence of Napoleon Bonaparte with his brother Joseph”, Volume II

Moscow, 19 October 1812

Monsieur le Duc de Feltre,

an aide-de-camp from the King of Spain has brought letters to me dated the first week in September. You are aware that at this distance I can do nothing for the armies of Spain.

Translation: Clarke, you dimwit, was that really necessary? Could you really not deal with that yourself?

Let the King of Spain and the Duke of Dalmatia know how little help they are to expect, […]

The Duke of Dalmatia of course being Soult. and it’s a little weird that he is so specifically mentioned here, even if it’s mostly a reply about his quabbles with Joseph. Joseph’s chief-of-staff and military adviser at the time was Marshal Jourdan.

[…] and how necessary their present situation makes it that they should unite, and diminish as much as is in their power the disasters caused by a pernicious system; that it was very absurd in the King to allow 400 men to be taken at Guadarrama, and 1300 at the Retiro; […]

Joseph, while retreating before Wellington after the battle of Salamanca, had left garrisons in several places, that of course all were taken prisoner. So had Marmont (see below).

[…] these men were of use against the town and the guerillas, but were incapable of making a defence against any other enemy; that it is grievous that the Duke of Ragusa permitted garrisons to be taken at Salamanca, Toro, Zamora, etc. Such events are calamities.

Write to the King that I desire that such things may not recur; that Lerida, Tarragona, and the other fortresses in Catalonia must be blown up; that if we are to lose this frontier, it must not be left in a state in which it would be difficult to take it again. I have given this order repeatedly. [...]

So much about Joseph’s orders finding general approval, as Clarke had said to Desprez. What I notice most in this letter, actually, is a conspicuous lack of criticism with regards to a certain Marshal Soult.

Finally, there is Desprez’ report about how his interview with Napoleon went. A report Desprez could only give several months later, as he first had to join and experience the retreat from Moscow with Napoleon’s Grande Armée. Again, all the way. Probably not quite what he had signed up for when he started out on his journey to deliver one stupid letter.

Paris, January 3, 1813.

Sire,

I have already had the honour of announcing to your Majesty my arrival in Paris; but as the express was my means of communication, I was forced to use the utmost discretion. The Queen having advised me to write to you in detail, and offered to send my letter by the first courier whom she despatches, I take the opportunity of giving an account to your Majesty of the result of my mission, and of some of the events which I have witnessed.

I arrived at Moscow on the evening of the 18th of October. The Emperor had just heard that the advanced guard, under the command of the King of Naples, had been attacked, and forced to retreat with only part of their artillery. The withdrawal of the troops was already decided upon, and they had begun to put themselves in motion. My arrival was announced to his Majesty, who returned at first an answer which was but little favourable.

Napoleon: No. No way. Uh-uh. Cossacks, fires, Kutusov and tsar Alexander I can deal with. But I’m not ready for another round of Joseph whining to me because someone has stepped on his precious toes!

However, in the middle of the night I was called.

Napoleon, talking to himself: Okay, Naps. You are a strong mighty emperor. You have dealt with Eugène after Salice, you can do this. It might be important. Joseph might have lost yet another big battle, our troops might be in full retreat already, you have to know about this… Get this guy in!

I delivered to the Emperor the despatches with which your Majesty had intrusted me, and, without opening them, he questioned me as to the contents; he then made upon the campaign some of the reflections which your Majesty anticipated.

Which is kinda funny. The same thing had happened during the interview with Clarke. Apparently Joseph knew quite well what his brother would reproach him for, and he had briefed Desprez accordingly.

He said that your march to assist the army of Portugal was commenced too late; that it might have been made a month sooner; [… a whole page of detailed criticisms, ending with: ...] that, at any rate, when this retreat was resolved on, the garrison should have been withdrawn from the Retiro, all the gun-carriages broken up, the eagles carried off, and the clothing burnt; that he never had considered this post as fit for more than to keep down the people of Madrid; that, as the enemy was master of the field, it should have been abandoned to him; and that of all the faults of the campaign this was the one which he least understood. I answered these remarks in the manner agreed upon with your Majesty.

At which point an obviously curious English editor commented that unfortunately there was no hint of what this answer might have been, as this behaviour by Joseph indeed seemed rather extraordinary and hard to explain.

The Emperor then proceeded to the Duke of Dalmatia's letter; he told me that it had already reached him through another channel, but that he had attached no importance to it; that Marshal Soult was in error; that he could not attend to such trifles while he was at the head of 500,000 men and engaged in enormous undertakings - these were his expressions; that, however, the Duke of Dalmatia's suspicions did not much surprise him; that they are shared by many generals belonging to the army of Spain, who think that your Majesty prefers Spain to France; that he was convinced that you had a French heart, but that those who judged you by your public speeches might think otherwise.

Napoleon: So, you’ve come to me, on the evening of our retreat from Moscow, to tell me that Joseph is mad at Soult.

Desprez: Yes, Sire.

Napoleon: And he’s mad because Soult thinks Joseph’s secretly in league with the enemy.

Desprez: Yes, Sire.

Napoleon: Well, OF COURSE Soult does. Everybody does. What does Joseph expect with the way he’s talking?

He added that Marshal Soult's was the only military head in Spain; that he could not withdraw him without endangering the army; that, on the other hand, he was perfectly easy as to Marshal Soult's intentions, as he had just learnt from the English newspapers that the Marshal was evacuating Andalusia, and joining the armies of the centre and of Aragon […]

The irony of Napoleon having to learn what was really going on in Spain from British newspapers!

[…] that this junction will make them strong enough to take up the offensive; that he had no orders to send; that it was impossible to give orders from such a distance; that he did not disguise from himself the extent of the evil; and that he more than ever regretted that your Majesty had not followed his advice not to return to Spain.

This is a really interesting last sentence. Mostly, people seem to have thought that, when Joseph returned to Spain after his visit to Paris in 1811, he did so because Napoleon had sent him back. Unless this is an attempt by Napoleon at gaslighting, this would mean that Joseph in 1811 actually had the option to remain in France. But chose to go back and continue to play king.

I’m leaving out most of the rest, the letter is quite long and describes some of the retreat. In short, Desprez managed to get himself attached to Mortier’s staff, because he feared if he stayed with Napoleon he would not be allowed to leave for Spain again. He witnessed the total destruction of Napoleon’s army and most likely was the first to tell Joseph precisely how bad the situation truly was. He only hints at how this had affected him personally:

Having reached Wilna a short time after the Emperor left it, I obtained the Duke of Bassano's permission to proceed to Paris and wait there for orders. In a former letter I had the honour of announcing to your Majesty that the state of my health forced me to postpone my return to Spain.

Desprez ruining his health just so Napoleon could basically give him a shrug.

And that’s where this story ends. For now. Joseph would continue to harrass Soult, Soult would continue to disobey Joseph’s orders, and both would continue to write to Napoleon and Clarke, Joseph: Get Soult out of here! and Soult: Get me out of here!, until finally, in February 1813, Napoleon gave in and recalled Soult to France. Joseph finally had his wish and was the sole, unopposed master in all things military.

Next stop: Battle of Vittoria...

#napoleon's family #napoleon's marshals #joseph bonaparte #jean de dieu soult #poor Desprez #i hope he at least didn't bump into much furniture during his journey #peninsular war #russian retreat #clarke

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lllouisblog · 5 hours

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Optimizing Logistics and Shipping: A Guide to Courier Low Value Shipments, North America Trucking, and More

In the world of logistics, understanding the different facets of shipping and transportation can significantly enhance your business operations. From handling courier low value shipments to mastering North America trucking, this guide provides insights into key logistics services that can streamline your supply chain.

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Large package delivery involves shipping items that exceed standard dimensions. Managing large packages requires careful planning and coordination to ensure they reach their destination in good condition. By selecting logistics providers with experience in handling oversized packages, businesses can ensure efficient and reliable delivery of large items.

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impulseremovals · 7 days

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Expert Corporate Relocation: Comprehensive Packing, Safe Transport, and Timely Delivery

A full-service relocation service, corporate packers & movers provide everything from secure packing to transporting and unpacking. They also handle specialized equipment and furniture, ensuring a smooth transition for homes or offices.

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#corporate packers & movers

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suryapramila · 11 days

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Advantages of International Courier Service in Kochi for Shipping Household Goods: Cost-Effectiveness, Speed, and Reliability

Shipping household goods internationally can be a daunting task, especially when you want to ensure that your belongings reach their destination safely and on time. That's where an international courier service in Kochi comes into play. With the rise of global connectivity, choosing the right international courier service in Kochi can save you both time and money. Atlantic International Express offers a seamless solution for shipping household items globally, combining cost-effectiveness, speed, and reliability to give you peace of mind.

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apfulfilment · 9 months

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Efficient Furniture Courier Services Across the UK

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sharansathaya · 24 days

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The Importance of Professional Courier Services for Seamless Furniture Shipments from India to Dubai

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copperleafhotel · 28 days

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Business or Pleasure: Copper Leaf is Perfect for Both

When it comes to finding the Best Hotel in Tirunelveli, Copper Leaf Hotels stands out as a top choice for both business and leisure travelers. With a range of features designed to cater to different needs, Copper Leaf Hotels offers an exceptional experience, whether you're in town for a meeting or a relaxing getaway.

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High-Speed Wi-Fi: Reliable and fast internet access is essential for staying connected and handling work tasks efficiently.

Business Center: A well-equipped business center with printers, copiers, and computers is valuable for handling work-related documents and tasks.

Meeting Rooms: Availability of meeting rooms or conference facilities with audiovisual equipment and flexible seating arrangements is crucial for hosting meetings and presentations.

Quiet Rooms: Soundproof rooms or quiet accommodations ensure a restful environment for working or relaxing.

Comfortable Workspaces: In-room desks with comfortable chairs and adequate lighting support productivity and comfort during work hours.

24/7 Room Service: Availability of room service around the clock ensures that business travelers can get meals and refreshments at any time.

Express Check-In/Check-Out: Efficient check-in and check-out processes save time and reduce stress for busy travelers.

Business Support Services: Access to business support services such as faxing, courier services, and administrative assistance can be very useful.

Meeting Packages: Hotels that offer tailored meeting packages with catering and other amenities can simplify event planning and execution.

Ergonomic Furniture: Ergonomic chairs and workstations help prevent discomfort and promote productivity during long work hours.

Privacy and Security: Secure facilities and private areas ensure that business discussions and sensitive information remain confidential.

Concierge Services: A knowledgeable concierge can assist with travel arrangements, dining recommendations, and other needs to enhance the business travel experience.

These features collectively contribute to a comfortable and productive stay for business travelers, making a hotel like Copper Leaf Hotels an ideal choice for those on the go.

A Perfect Blend of Comfort and Convenience

Copper Leaf Hotels offers a perfect blend of comfort and convenience. The staff is dedicated to providing exceptional service, ensuring your stay is memorable. From the moment you step into the hotel, you'll feel welcomed and cared for. Whether you're traveling solo, with family, or as a group, Copper Leaf has something to offer everyone.

Conclusion

In summary, Copper Leaf Hotels is the Best Hotel in Tirunelveli for both business and leisure travelers. With its excellent amenities, including high-speed Wi-Fi, business services, comfortable accommodations, and convenient location, it caters to a variety of needs. Whether you're visiting for work or taking a break from your routine, Copper Leaf Hotels offers a perfect blend of comfort and functionality. Choose Copper Leaf Hotels for your next stay and experience the best of both worlds.

For more details visit our website: www.copperleafhotels.com

#tirunelveli5starhotels #tirunelvelistaycationhotels #tirunelvelispahotels #tirunelvelifamilyhotels #tirunelveliconfortablehotels

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forexrobot4 · 1 month

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Khattak Store: A Reliable Destination for Quality Products

The rise of online shopping has made it easier for consumers to access a vast array of products from the comfort of their homes. Among the growing number of e-commerce platforms, Khattak Store has emerged as a trusted online retailer. Known for its commitment to quality and customer satisfaction, Khattak Store offers a diverse range of products at competitive prices. This article delves into the key aspects that make Khattak Store a preferred choice for shoppers.

What is Khattak Store?

Khattak Store is an online shopping platform that provides a wide variety of products catering to different needs. Whether you’re looking for fashion items, electronics, home essentials, or health and beauty products, Khattak Store aims to be a convenient one-stop solution. With a focus on customer satisfaction, the store ensures that shoppers have access to quality products at reasonable prices, delivered directly to their doorsteps.

Key Features of Khattak Store

1. Diverse Product Categories

Khattak Store covers a broad spectrum of product categories, making it easy for customers to find what they’re looking for. Some of the key categories include:

Fashion: Trendy clothing, footwear, and accessories for men, women, and children.

Electronics: The latest gadgets, smartphones, accessories, and home appliances.

Home Essentials: Kitchenware, furniture, décor, and other items to enhance your living space.

Health and Beauty: Skincare products, cosmetics, and personal care items.

This diversity ensures that shoppers can find products for all aspects of their lives in one place, reducing the need to visit multiple stores.

2. Affordable Prices

Khattak Store is known for its competitive pricing, offering customers value for their money. The platform frequently features discounts, promotions, and seasonal sales, making it a popular destination for bargain hunters. By providing affordable options across various categories, Khattak Store ensures that quality products are accessible to a broad audience.

3. User-Friendly Shopping Experience

One of the standout features of Khattak Store is its user-friendly website. The platform is designed to make online shopping as simple and straightforward as possible. Customers can easily navigate through the site, browse different categories, and find specific products using the search function. The website also provides detailed product descriptions, customer reviews, and ratings to help shoppers make informed decisions.

4. Reliable Delivery Services

Khattak Store partners with reputable courier services to ensure that orders are delivered promptly and in good condition. The platform provides order tracking, allowing customers to monitor their packages in real time. With a focus on efficient logistics, Khattak Store ensures that customers receive their orders on time, contributing to a positive shopping experience.

5. Secure Payment Options

Security is a top priority at Khattak Store. The platform offers multiple payment options, including credit and debit cards, online banking, and cash on delivery (COD) in select areas. This flexibility allows customers to choose the payment method that suits them best, while also ensuring that their financial information is protected through secure transaction processes.

6. Excellent Customer Support

Khattak Store emphasizes customer satisfaction, which is evident in its responsive and helpful customer service. The support team is available to assist with inquiries, resolve issues, and handle returns or exchanges. Whether a customer has a question about a product, needs help with an order, or wants to request a refund, Khattak Store’s customer service team is dedicated to providing timely and effective solutions.

Why Shop at Khattak Store?

1. Trust and Reliability

Khattak Store has built a reputation for being a trustworthy and reliable online retailer. The platform is committed to delivering authentic, high-quality products that meet customer expectations. This focus on trustworthiness has earned Khattak Store a loyal customer base, with many shoppers returning for repeat purchases.

2. Regular Promotions and Deals

Khattak Store frequently runs promotions, offering customers the chance to save on a wide range of products. These promotions can include flash sales, holiday discounts, and clearance events. By keeping an eye on these deals, shoppers can score significant savings on popular items.

3. Convenience

Khattak Store is designed with convenience in mind. From its easy-to-navigate website to its efficient delivery services, the platform makes online shopping a hassle-free experience. Customers can browse, order, and receive their products without ever leaving their homes, making it an ideal option for busy individuals or those looking for a seamless shopping experience.

4. Focus on Customer Satisfaction

At Khattak Store, customer satisfaction is a top priority. The platform strives to ensure that every customer has a positive shopping experience, from product selection to post-purchase support. This commitment to service excellence is one of the key reasons why Khattak Store continues to grow in popularity.

Conclusion

Khattak Store has established itself as a reliable and customer-focused online shopping platform, offering a diverse range of products at competitive prices. With its user-friendly interface, secure payment options, and responsive customer support, Khattak Store provides a convenient and trustworthy shopping experience. Whether you’re looking for the latest fashion trends, cutting-edge electronics, or home essentials, Khattak Store is a destination worth exploring.

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rkdesignfurniture · 1 month

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How to Sell Furniture Online: A Complete Guide to Maximizing Your Sales

The furniture market is booming, and with the growing trend of online shopping, now is the perfect time to sell furniture online. Whether you're an established furniture retailer or a small business looking to expand your reach, selling furniture online can open up a world of opportunities. This comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know to successfully sell furniture online, from choosing the right platform to optimizing your listings and marketing your products.

Why Sell Furniture Online?

The shift towards online shopping has transformed the way consumers purchase furniture. The convenience of browsing from home, comparing prices, and having items delivered directly to their doorstep has made online furniture shopping increasingly popular. Selling furniture online allows you to tap into a vast and diverse customer base, reduce overhead costs, and provide customers with a seamless shopping experience.

Choosing the Right Platform to Sell Furniture Online

Selecting the right platform is crucial to the success of your online furniture business. Here are some of the most popular options:

E-commerce Websites: Creating your own e-commerce website, like RK Designs, gives you complete control over your brand, pricing, and customer experience. This option allows you to build a unique online presence and cater directly to your target audience.

Marketplaces: Platforms like Amazon, eBay, and Etsy provide an easy way to reach a large audience. These marketplaces are user-friendly, and their established customer base can help you quickly start selling.

Social Media: Platforms like Instagram and Facebook have evolved into powerful sales channels. By setting up a shop on these platforms, you can leverage social media marketing to drive traffic and sales.

Furniture-Specific Marketplaces: Websites like Wayfair, Houzz, and Chairish cater specifically to furniture buyers and sellers. These platforms attract customers who are specifically looking for furniture, making them ideal for niche sellers.

Setting Up Your Online Furniture Store

Once you've chosen the platform, the next step is setting up your online store. Here’s how:

Create a Professional Brand: Your brand is the face of your business. Choose a name, logo, and color scheme that reflect your brand's identity. Ensure your website or store page is visually appealing and easy to navigate.

Product Listings: High-quality product listings are key to selling furniture online. Include clear and detailed descriptions, dimensions, and materials. Use professional photos that showcase the furniture from different angles and in various settings.

Pricing Strategy: Pricing your furniture competitively is crucial. Research your competitors and consider factors like materials, craftsmanship, and brand reputation when setting prices. Offering discounts or promotions can also attract buyers.

Shipping and Delivery: Develop a reliable shipping and delivery plan. Provide customers with multiple shipping options and consider offering free shipping for higher-end items. Partnering with a trusted courier service ensures timely and safe delivery.

Providing Excellent Customer Service

Customer service is a crucial factor in the success of your online furniture business. Here’s how to ensure a positive customer experience:

Responsive Communication: Provide prompt and clear communication. Address customer inquiries, concerns, or complaints in a timely manner.

Easy Returns and Refunds: Make your return and refund policy transparent and hassle-free. This builds trust and encourages customers to make purchases without fear.

After-Sales Support: Offer after-sales support, such as assembly assistance or care instructions. This adds value and enhances customer satisfaction.

Analyzing and Improving Your Sales Performance

Regularly analyze your sales data to understand what’s working and where improvements can be made. Use tools like Google Analytics to track website traffic, conversion rates, and customer behavior. Based on your findings, adjust your pricing, marketing strategies, and product offerings to better meet customer needs.

Conclusion

Selling furniture online is a lucrative opportunity, but it requires strategic planning and execution. By choosing the right platform, optimizing your online store, employing effective marketing strategies, and providing excellent customer service, you can successfully grow your online furniture business.

Ready to start selling furniture online? Visit RK Designs to explore our range of high-quality furniture and set up your online store today! Whether you're a seasoned retailer or just starting out, our platform provides everything you need to succeed in the competitive online market.

#chair furniture #furniture manufacturer #furniture #table furniture #wood furniture

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