#funpoison my beloved

[dontevnhveagun]

Cooking up some afab masc pres nb party poison and genderfluid fun ghoul……..

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Kobracola my beloved. Funpoison my beloved. Jetchimp my beloved. Killjoy gays my beloveds.

[knifesxedge]

thank you everyone for liking this post i will now tell you about my beloved brainchild the fucked up and evil au more formally known as the funpoison exterminators au!!!!!!!

so the crux of the whole thing is that at the point where the teenagers (or really. ok preteens) who would become party poison and fun ghoul would, in my canon timeline, leave the city for the desert, they just…don’t. so they never leave the SCARECROW program, and thus, grow up to be exterminators.

but not just any exterminators, because due to perfectly average combat sim scores but very much ABOVE average strategy scores when paired together, they’re assigned together, and exterminator nightshade and exterminator phantom rise to be one of BLI’s top exterminator teams.

and, y’know, when you’re the best of the best, there’s certain things the company is willing to…overlook. just so long as everything in their well-oiled machine keeps functioning as it’s supposed to, and from the OUTSIDE nothing appears to be amiss, they don’t really care if. well. there’s fraternization. strengthens the bond, you could argue?

anyways. phantom and nightshade aren’t IN LOVE, really, because they don’t really have emotions on the pills and they’re morally bankrupt murderers, but there’s a STRONG codependency. nightshade is the more volatile of the two, phantom has basically no personality whatsoever outside of cruelty, both of them would kill for the other without batting an eye. they’re not really AWARE of how much they care(?) about each other but it’s just kind of a fact of life. the sky is grey, BL/Ind makes everyone Better™️, nightshade and phantom Go Together. y’know? basically the only thing nightshade is afraid of is being separated from phantom, what little phantom DOES feel is for nightshade, however vague and faint those emotions may be, you get it. basically what you can expect from raising two children from the age of ten into professional killers side-by-side while teaching them that relying on and being together is life-or-death, + maybe a little bit of my belief that these two would be in love no matter what universe. WHATEVER

the problem is that even though the importance of contraception is HAMMERED into BLI employees (there’s an expectation that everyone will indulge in pornodroids every now and then, but i don’t feel like i need to tell you how BLI feels about sex workers. ahem), SOMETIMES. things go wrong anyways.

so nightshade realizes they’re pregnant, and realizes they’re basically completely fucked, because better living can overlook their two male operatives having an illicit relationship of sorts so long as that doesn’t affect appearances or their ability to perform at the top echelon of their division (the city will tolerate being trans, and in fact has processes in place to help their citizens to transition as efficiently and quietly as possible, which i’ve talked about before, but anything outside the gender binary is not allowed. nightshade is identifying as and presenting as male at this point because “girl” didn’t feel right, having a more masculine presentation felt better-ish, and it’s all they’ve ever known). what they can not and WILL not overlook is a baby potentially being in the picture. and it’s not even potentially because better living has fairly conservative views on pregnancy, abortion, etc and by the time nightshade even realizes, they’re past the point where BLI would allow a discreet termination. SO, for the first time in their life, nightshade is really and truly terrified.

however. phantom finds out because nightshade tells him, because OBVIOUSLY they’re going to tell him because they hiss and spit at each other like cats but they are a capital t Team, completely inseparable and unbeatable when back-to-back, and phantom’s protectiveness over nightshade, even if it’s more of a “other people can’t touch my things” kind of thing at this point, is one of the only things he’s ever really decided on for himself.

SO. in a turn of events none of the executives in battery city could have predicted, sometime in the night, their two star exterminators vanish into thin air, with no clue where they could have gone. any suggestion of them having defected to the zones is quickly and incredulously dismissed, because these are their Perfect operatives, groomed into their roles from the age of ten, so the likelihood of them having broken out of two decades of the most first-class conditioning (and perks. the best of the best in batt city get rewards for their loyalty that not only do regular citizens not get, but that heavily decrease the possibility of them ever growing discontented) is dismissively low.

about six months later, sandpup charlotte juliet hoffman-fujikawa is born to killjoys belladonna cordial and wandering shade in a zone 4 diner.

SOME VARIOUS NOTES:

the thing i’m struggling the most with with me potentially actually executing this concept is the slow burn i’m envisioning once they’ve actually left the city (with the slightly unwilling help of a killjoy named wytchbane, who almost comes to blows with nightshade over them using they/them pronouns which gets some gears turning for nightshade) where they’re both detoxing from the pills but have also been, again, not raised in the most well-adjusted environment and thus, despite being THIRTY, these guys are so emotionally stunted they don’t know how to care about each other. they do, but they don’t know how to. in any case, nightshade is completely convinced that phantom is going to get bored of them and the baby and is going to, at some point, whether it’s before the baby is born or after they’re born and phantom decides it’s too much work, abandon them. and considering how dependent they are on him, to an unhealthy degree, this is like a world-shattering kind of potential disaster to them so they’re kind of a nervous wreck about it while in typical party poison fashion covering it up with a whole lot of anger and lashing out at others. meanwhile phantom is surfacing out of basically having no emotion at all for over half of his life and therefore has no point of reference for how to behave like a person at all but more importantly therefore has no context for the fact that as soon as he started to be A Human Being off the pills he immediately started to think about stuff like where could we all live, where would be safe, i wonder if we’re having a boy or a girl, etc etc etc. it’s a dynamic i like to describe as wifeguy who doesn’t know he’s a wifeguy and his crumbling insecure mess of a life partner. ANYWAYS i just don’t know if i have the actual technical skill in writing to execute this the way i want it to be. especially since there are SO many variables from emotional variables to environmental variables to character development variables (such as nightshade VERY slowly realizing that they were actually nonbinary all along, what a surprise). so. this may never actually be written. fully written. whatever

anyways in terms of plot i think eventually not-kobra wonders what happened to his Superstar Perfect Crow Older Brother and where they went, so he ends up escaping out to the desert as well. except when he finds them, they’ve got a new name/gender/identity and not only that but as soon as kobra shows up they immediately call for “shade”, who turns out to be their crow partner that they were always bringing around to family gatherings just to flaunt how Perfect their life was (perfect career, perfect flawless partner at work, perfect record, etc etc). and even more of a surprise, not only did they abandon their seemingly wonderfully perfect lives and careers to run away to become the kind of people they’ve been killing their entire lives, but they have a daughter and they’re raising her in the killjoy lifestyle. wild.

speaking of kobra finally getting out to the desert. jet doesn’t have a very different backstory but i think the factor of her never having a crew and being a loner who mostly runs with her parents’ group would change her character a bit. ANYWAYS i think the fab four WOULD eventually come together in this verse just wayyyyy later than in my canon (33-35-ish vs 14-ish) and that would definitely shake things up in terms of how everyone. uh. behaves. just in general but also with each other

also in regards to the names! i thought about just keeping their canon killjoy names for once they came into their own in the desert but i just think everything that leads up to it is SO vastly different from their canon (“canon”. my canon) experiences that it wouldn’t make sense for them to have the same killjoy names ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

another thing i always think about in this au is how they find the diner in the first place because i think they ABSOLUTELY go to dr. d first for (VERY BEGRUDGING AND UNWILLING ON BOTH SIDES) help finding their feet in the desert. so just picture two fully-grown very very famous exterminators just showing up on dr. d’s doorstep. and naturally he assumes they’re there to kill him, but in fact they’re actually there to ask for help. and they’re super incredibly socially awkward due to spending decades in scarecrow training in battery city and therefore never learned how to talk to people. nevermind taking to people without posturing. or how to be NICE. so phantom/ghoul is like just. gritting his teeth trying not to just pull out his raygun and threaten doc into doing what he wants even though he’s never had to use any other kind of negotiation strategy in his entire life.

SO THATS IT! that’s the exterminators au!! please for the love of god if you found me rambling on and on interesting feel free to ask me any questions you have or just talk to me about it! this au is a beloved thing that’s just been Always In The Back Of My Mind since literally summer 2021 which is. over two years. ahaha.

i so desperately want to talk about the exterminators au. does anyone want to hear about the fucked up and evil au

[funghoulbutmoreemo]

FunPoison my beloved

[funghoulbutmoreemo]

Lmao where did those emojis even come from

actually tho

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days) Characters: Fun Ghoul (Danger Days), Party Poison (Danger Days), Some Bitch Ghoul Works For, Kobra Kid (Danger Days) Additional Tags: Nonbinary Fun Ghoul (Danger Days), Prostitute Fun Ghoul (Danger Days), dont question this, please, If you see this no you didn’t, 🍆💦, Alternative Universe - Canon Divergent Summary:

Fun Ghoul was an eighteen-year-old living in Zone 3 of the California deserts. They were a prostitute, because they needed a way to pay for food on a regular basis and they thought, “Hey, this is a reliable job”.

TW for implied s/a and other trauma related things, a panic attack.