#funny skyrim gameplay

[turflamicgaming420]

I am SO TREMENDOUSLY HAPPY to be able to do Felldew again. The other drugs too but oh my god Since the Felldew House flood video. Felldew has a special place in my heart. Enjoy :D

[knight-of-moths]

---Heartfire, 5th, 4E 201---

Finally arrived in Dawnstar proper, currently sitting in the inn as I write this. We've got plenty of time in the day, so we're going to head out to the place Gore pointed out, for his fellow Raven member.

Wow.

What a lecherous son of a bitch. Pate, not Gore. Throwing whatever will hurt most at him, since he can't give him answers that he either doesn't have or won't give up. Though, if the man is to believed, Jo-Lee is the father of Gore, and his mother killed by Jo-Lee's blade. Insulting his swordsmanship, something I have seen his skill with time and time again.

The man riled him up, and honestly riled myself up as well. Threatened Gore to kill him.

So he did.

In some rather unfortunate timing, the new family Pate had found showed up to speak to him. Gore almost killed their mother, but I couldn't stop myself from stepping in. She's an innocent woman, caught in something she'll never understand.

She yelled for the guards, but Gore made up his mind. He went to turn himself in. Gods willing, I'll get him back if he can't get himself out.

Talley hasn't said anything, but I don't blame him. Better this way.

Back to the inn, I suppose.

Seems like my moment of reflection in the inn will be cut short, as a priest of Mara is here to solve a Daedric problem that the town is having. Sorry Gore, I think you've learned by now that I can't say no to holymen.

[mrissi-gamergirl]

He played as if his fingers were made of wood…

[demonlordcosnime]

lets play skyrim part 16

[assassinmosseye]

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[whywalkwhenyoucanride]

we like to joke about the stealth archer thing. for a decade and a half now. but i think the reason why it ends up being such a common build in skyrim is because it's the only combat style that is actually satisfying to play. melee is just strafing and spamming lmb, occasionally rmb if you want to block. magic is just strafing and holding lmb/rmb. stealth archery has an internal narrative arc. set up (targeting), tension (aiming), and release (release). doing it well rewards the player with a funny ragdoll

i don't think it's because it's the best (even though it is), it's just that it's just a vastly more satisfying gameplay loop. in reverse, i would hazard this is why very few people use bows and their main source of damage in dark souls - often opting for guts-sized swords. it has the same gameplay loop of mindlessly attacking and walking away as melee in skyrim

[toskarin]

Since Bethesda was so insistent on moving away from Morrowind's combat system for Oblivion and Skyrim, what would you have replaced it with?

contrary to what it might seem, I don't think replacing the skyrim combat system wholesale with sekiro or dark souls is really a viable solution to the problem, because it's fun for a mod load order, but it definitely makes the game feel unskyrim

so I'd approach this more from the angle of "what needs to be added to fill the void left behind by the simplified combat"

design rambles below the break. this is less of me offering actual solutions and more of me just saying what I'd do if I were given all the resources and executive power in the world for it, from an armchair. and it goes without saying these are all just Opinions

one of the largest basic design issues with modern bethesda melee combat is that it's tied really hard into melee being a single button input. if they want to stick with that, they should at least implement directional attacks and blocking (which I'll mention now is not something new for TES) with a simple aiming scheme, possibly similar to mount&blade's

stealing something else from m&b while I'm at it, two attacks colliding from the same direction within a tight frame window should clash

enemies need to have attacks you don't want to get hit by. somewhere in their list of moves, enemies need to do something different that necessitates either dodging, blocking, or otherwise reacting in any way. they also need to gapclose, but that's a given

healing consumables need to have a cooldown. as funny as cramming items in your face by the stack during combat is, it's a bandaid to an enormous design flaw in melee combat not being interesting. if you really wanted, you could keep some of that flow by having a skill for mixing preexisting potions together into single doses

addendum to that previous point, players should have a hotbar that allows lower cooldown consumption of certain items, which cannot be reconfigured in combat

magic needs to be stronger and riskier. heavy armour should eat into your damage and efficiency significantly, medium armour should do it just a little bit, and casting past your magicka pool should start consuming health at twice the rate it consumes magicka

blocking should have a higher damage reduction cap (it is currently 85%-95% DR depending on armour) but scale depending on how precisely you block an attack and eat into your stamina much more (with a stagger at zero, to steal another mechanic)

as they are, the entire shout system is a symptom of bad design. having a cooldown-based system that gives non-magic characters spells removes the strongest incentive to play magic characters. I'm actually not sure what to even do about this one that doesn't involve cutting all of the overlapping skills and keeping its focus on weird utilities? as a rule, I kind of hate every gameplay concept that uses "this is something only the player can do" as its skeleton, so this is a tough one for me to poke at

hitstop

[eff-plays]

To me it's not really about morality if I have to be honest. I'm an Isaac Castlevania stan and he wanted to kill literally all of humanity. Like I don't care if you play evil characters or get off to immoral dom daddies or whatever. I've wanted to punt children in Skyrim into the sun for saying sassy shit to me so like. It's a video game where you kill people. I do not care.

To me, the "problem" (or rather, the thing I like making fun of the most) is just how very surface-level evil the Ascendant ending is, how obviously evil it is, how Larian pretty much beats you over the head with it using very simple and traditional storytelling techniques ("you'll have to kill 7000 people, including literal children btw"), and how some people still manage to twist it into something it isn't (a triumphant, perfect ending) despite Larian constantly blasting at you how bad it is. (And this isn't a critique, it works well and tropes are tropes for a reason, this shit works.)

And it's not even a unique setup. It's a classic dichotomy of want vs need. That's why they're contrasting endings. Astarion wants power, but he needs freedom and self-worth. That's the gist of it.

That's why I love the epilogue titles so much, because they perfectly sum up the endings. Radiant Hopeful, because he's his own light in the dark. For someone who's been a pessimistic asshole after suffering for two centuries, that's HUGE. Sunwalking Regent means he can walk in the sun, a symbol for everything he wanted, but "regent" implies he's a temporary ruler. Someone, somewhere, will come to de-throne him one day, and every day he fears that moment. His newfound power binds him to constant fear and paranoia, and he always searches for new ways to become stronger, because in his mind, he can never be strong enough.

Spawn ending is bittersweet: he lost power, he's still cursed with vampirism and can't walk in the sun, but he is free, he is his own person and he has hope for the future. He's decided for himself what he wants to do, and that's adventuring and helping others, lending his strength to those who do not have any, in his own weird way. He's physically weaker than Ascendant Astarion, and yet he's got strength to spare.

So what's the flip side? In the ascendant ending, he has power, he has control, he has money. But he's paranoid, he's controlling, and he's terrified of losing it all again, because without it, he believes he's nothing, so having it becomes his one and only purpose. It's also bittersweet, because he finally has everything he wanted, but he'll never again have what he truly needs.

These are like ... classic tropes. You can't have it all. You have to make a choice. The thing you think you want, or the thing you don't know you need. AA stans argue that actually, no. His endings are actually suuuper flat and uninteresting. Either he stays a weak and worthless and fearful spawn, or he becomes a strong and powerful and manly supervampire (let's not unpack the masculinity stuff here cuz that's a whole other bag of yikes). That's the argument they're making. That it's a black and white choice of either you pick the stuff where everything works out forever or the stuff where he's a loser lapdog who has to obey Tav because men must either control to be real men or are controlled pussies who can't do fuck (again, not getting into that here). And it's just literally not how the story is set up. None of the companion stories are this flat. If they were, there wouldn't be any argument or choice to make. No pros and cons to weigh. And it's just logically not a good gameplay mechanic, for a role-playing game.

And yet there are people who are just choosing not to get it, just the way I choose to believe it's a choice for most of them because I don't want to believe so many of these people are genuinely this stupid.

So yeah. That's why I block AA fans on sight. Not because I think their fetish is funny (though I do), but because I genuinely don't think I would have anything to gain from people who fundamentally cannot comprehend extremely basic storytelling techniques when they're practically spelled out for you with not-very-subtle methods. It's not even a thing of consciously choosing the bad ending where he's a very shitty daddy dom because it gets them off, that's literally whatever to me, but the fact that most of them genuinely believe it's somehow the better ending.

Despite. Well all of the shit I wrote above.

So yeah. It's not about enjoying evil characters, to me. People who do generally don't brush the actual evil part under the rug. It's the refusal or apparent inability to grasp extremely basic storytelling concepts lmao. And for what? Pff.

[theskoomacat]

i want to plug Pacific Drive real quick. i had a free day yesterday so i spent it in its entirety glued to the screen. i'm not proud. check out this game!!!!!!

it's kind of like a mix between STALKER and Firewatch (by vibe. in my head). (the Impact of Roadside Picnic on our society!) idk the official genre tags on the game but at its base it is a survival game with looting and crafting.

but. you're doing all that to spoil your beautiful princess (your maybe sentient cat that maybe will kill you eventually). you spend 80% of the time in your car, it's your defense against the elements and the Zone. the gameplay loop is fairly simple - you drive, you listen to scientists bicker over the radio, you loot, you lose half your car, you HAUL ASS, you get home.

the game offers a HUGE variety of stuff to explore, from anomalies to weather conditions to biomes to the weird flora/fauna to lore. there's SO much lore, idk who decided to write a blurb for every type of paint. huge game for people who love to collect stuff. and collecting stuff is sometimes a puzzle on its own because you need different tools (which are often interchangeable, thankfully, with varying efficiency).

and driving is very fun. i have a special condition called "Played Skyrim in formative years", so the mountains are a challenge to me, not a barrier. i enjoy the fact that driving being the focal point reshapes the world significantly (from the gamedev pov), because it is built to accommodate driving instead of just running around. the roads are the main focus of all the anomalies due to that, so frankly running around would be easier than dodging the roadblocks, but also you would fucking die. it's actually funny that i regularly find the roads by the concentration of anomalies instead of like. the road itself.

the game is pretty. the GIANT walls/lab megastructures blow my mind, they're so fucking huge. BUT. one problem i have is that there are too many nights. i have already toggled "Shorter nights" on, and still it feels like 60% of rounds take place at night (maybe i'm doing something wrong idk). yes, it is a challenge, but also i wish i could see the game?

the world itself is pretty fun. i have already mentioned STALKER, which is a very fair comparison since you're in a Zone filled with Anomalies. except this time the Zone is not a strictly "natural" occurence, which mixes this genre with the "fucked up mid-20th cent american science->military complex" genre. it is really interesting to see many different opinions on what the Zone is doing in the lore. and you can draw your own conclusions from interacting with it. it is as likely to harm you as help you, and most of the time it just Fucks with you (LIM shield ilu).

what hasn't i mentioned yet? the characters are fun, an old jaded scientist lady who's entombed herself within her creation, her ex-colleague and his bf/husband who stayed in the Zone to hunt cryptids, all lovely. the music is mostly good, but unfortunately there aren't too many tracks, so some get old really quick (i WISH i got tired of DOCTOR JUICE). but do check the radio from time to time, there are cool transmissions you can catch there.

idr if there was a difficulty selector anywhere, but you can make the game easier at will in the settings - keep inventory, restore the car when back home, etc. i wish i had known about these settings when i "died" at the EXACT moment i moved to another zone, because i both lost half my inventory AND was forced to continue my run due to that lmao. the game is Not easy tbh. the first time i was in the city with a hole in the center i couldn't climb out of there because it was pitch dark and my car was so so broken, it actually made me super frustrated. but when you learn all that stuff and actually plan for it and outfit your car with it mind, it all becomes manageable and enjoyable. it is decidedly not a horror game, but it Is unsettling at times. dense fog+bigfoot weather conditions made me SO paranoid, although i didn't actually see anything lol

so yeah, i totally recommend the game if you enjoy survival games. here are also some tips for people trying the game out for the first time, aka what I wish I had known:

In the beginning doing more runs (=bringing in more anchors) will be more benefitial than turning over every rock in every zone because a lot of good stuff is locked behind upgrades. One exception - quest zones with Perpetual Stability, you can explore and loot there for an hour if you want

Shorten the nights. It's not fun to stumble around blindly, especially not in the beginning while you're still learning

Hold T to teleport your car out of sticky situations and use Y to sort inventories. idk why they don't tell you that

PLAN. Look at the resources in each location has before launching and bring extra instruments/raw materials in accordance

Invest into better batteries and renewable energy, it gets more and more important as you progress. You don't really need to upgrade the gas tank until you've upgraded the engine, unless you spend 50% of the time trying to crawl up a mountain with summer tires (off-road tires are the shit)

Skip the crowbar, the impact hammer and scrapper can do everything it does

Dying is not super scary aside from losing progress, you just lose your inventory and maybe some attachments, but you will get an opportunity to find the wreckage of your car on a different run (orange tombstone? icon) and to loot it

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Polygon Unraveled

A video series that explores the dangers of taking video game lore and logic too seriously.

Or as others online put it:

A series of viral videos for the gaming website Polygon in which he slowly goes insane while talking about video games.

Brian David Gilbert tries to unravel game lore without losing his grip on reality.

Several years ago, this guy who somehow managed to exude cryptid vibes despite appearing to be the walking embodiment of an excel spreadsheet kept coming across my dash. I gleaned enough info to determine he was a YouTuber and promptly scrolled on.

A couple years later...I'll be honest, I have no idea how I actually came to watch any of this. At some point, someone on tumblr tricked me into watching a completely different channel, which showed me that there is, in fact, entertaining content on YT despite a preponderance of talking heads and intensely parasocial fandoms, and the Almighty Algorithm recommended me a a video with a title I couldn't ignore, probably The Perfect PokéRap.

Host Brian David Gilbert is to all appearances an unassuming besuited nerd with high charisma and an even higher ability to subject himself to mental torments in the form of reading in real life all 333 books in the video game Skyrim, calculating how much money in OSHA fines Mario would owe, and interviewing his mother as part of a mathematical process to determine the Game of the Year...during which she kindly says, "This is a lot of research into things that really have very little meaning."

"A lot of research into things that really have very little meaning" would be a great and accurate tagline. Unraveled tricks you into thinking it's about video game-associated nerdery, but actually refers to Gilbert's mental state.

At any rate, it's easy to see why this garnered attention: it's funny and full of the specific pedantry that fandoms enjoy, taking canon details seriously to their ridiculous conclusions.

The subject is video games, but I haven't play the majority of titles/series/franchises featured and enjoyed it all, so it should be accessible and enjoyable to people who similarly haven't. Clips and brief descriptions of games/gameplay/stories are included when necessary, which for me gave all the context I needed.

Because listen: you do not need to be familiar with any Legend of Zelda games to enjoy the hilarity of Gilbert and a non-gamer coworker trying to recreate 78 recipes from Breath of the Wild using only ingredients listed in the game (that is: very few ingredients). I don't need to know anything about Hideo Kojima or the games he creates (and to this day, I do not) to understand the humor of his character names, because Gilbert explains that particular brand of peculiarity in the course of generating an 11-page form that will help him generate his own similarly-kooky names. There are a minimum of three different song/musical interludes throughout this series that are enjoyable and impressive.

Final comments: Highly recommend. It's accessible and fun even with a very small amount of video game knowledge (the small amount I have via pop culture osmosis) and witty; Gilbert has a talent for spouting great one-liners that contribute to the preponderance of gifs on this website.

Subtitle availability: English captions (not auto-generated) are available!

Where to watch (USA, as of May 2024): A playlist (X) on Polygon's (@Polygon) Youtube channel contains all episodes. Polygon's channel contains literally thousands of other videos, so I recommend using the playlist regardless of whether you watch them all or just a few.

Start watching with: My best recommendation is starting from the beginning using the playlist, with Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes, because individual videos are great but it's also fun to watch Gilbert increasingly, well, unravel. But if you want a few videos to sample, I'd start with any of these:

Every Sonic game is blasphemous

The Perfect PokeRap (live convention panel; trust me it's worth watching instead of the PokeRap-only video)

We made all 78 Breath of the Wild recipes in one day

Calculate your pet's HP with my 100% legitimate formula

I used The Sims to perfect my apartment

Status/Frequency: There are 28 videos total, most of which are 15-20 minutes long with only a handful of outliers. The series was released from 2018 to the end of 2020, when he left the company to pursue other projects.

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[casper-ry]

So I've started playing Fallout 4 yesterday, because of the new series an a recommendation, and I have to say:

It's not so bad.

It has a good worldbuilding, interesting lore, simple gameplay (reminds me a bit of Skyrim lol) and funny and lovable NPCs-

Yet there's one thing that I don't like about the game: The main story. It isn't bad or anything, it just doesn't really catch me.

(SPOILER for the beginning of Fallout 4)

For those who don't know what the game is about, basically, in the year 2077, a nuclear war happened and you, your wife and your newborn son go to a protective bunker and due to a series of events you've been put into a coma and awake 200 years later, in a world of nuclear fallout and apocalypse, with your wife dead and your son abducted by random people.

And now, you obviously head out to find your son. And that's the breaking point to me.

Now, I'm no parent, and I'm not saying the parental instinct to find your child isn't important or valid, but I just can't really relate to that.

If I'd awake in a world like that, my instinct would be to seek shelter, a group of survivors, and just accept the loss and move on. Because of two reasons:

a) you don't know when your son got abducted. For all you know, your son could be 100 years old and dying right now, and the only way you know he's still alive is by some old lady/fortune teller on drugs. Yeah.

b) HOW would you even care for a baby or small child in this world?!Adults barely have enough to live and are in constant danger! I'm still wondering how humanity has survived this long, honestly... Plus the mortality in this world is already skyrocketing, so chances are you'd get your son and he'd die like what, a week later and you're sad again? Why do that???

So I can understand the game is appealing to our parental and human instinct to care for others, but honestly, I just can't really relate to the whole parent situation. A sibling? A spouse? Yeah, I'd look for them in that situation. But a newborn baby is too much of a burden in that situation, and even if they're already older, they probably wouldn't recognize me and it'd just be another heartbreak in the end, worth none of the resources I'd put into it.

I'm not saying it's a bad story, or surrealistic, or irrational. It has its logic and valid points, and it's a good story altogether I think.

But it's just not my type of story.

The game's still good though.

[turflamicgaming420]

I summon Wolverine and then I summon a blunt in his mouth and then I do a bunch of drugs. Enjoy :)

[danshive]

It's been ages since I played videogames, but this is a geniune question: ¿what did Starfield have that No man's Sky didn't? form the gameplays I've watched NMS lets you explore space, build armadas, go on quests and also has an open world and story mode. All the same things that (from what I understand) Starfield aimed to do, but in a more polisehd way.

What I want from Starfield is an open world Bethesda RPG. There is a gameplay loop and feel that I want that's found in the likes of Fallout 3, 4, New Vegas, Oblivion, and Skyrim.

I want some guy to say "hey, I've got this quest hook if you're interested," and I'll say "heck yes," go somewhere with what is, in RPG gameplay terms, a dungeon, do some things, gather some loot, then go back to a base to do it all over again.

Occasionally, I'll get into some conversations, meet some funny characters, do lore things, that sort of stuff.

To be perfectly honest, hearing about "in space" and exploring planets wasn't a selling point. If anything, it lowered my enthusiasm. I'll happily take one interconnected, satisfying open world over a bunch of separated ones of wildly varying quality.

If this wasn't a Bethesda RPG, I wouldn't have given it a chance. My interest in it is very much riding on the success of its predecessors.

Which brings up another point: Community. There are groups of fans of these particular games online. There are content creators who feature these games. I like being able to follow them, and have familiarity with what they're playing.

To a degree, I give Starfield more than a fair shot because I enjoy those creators, that content, and people in that community. There is an ongoing meta value to the game for me even if I don't end up playing it nearly as much as its predecessors.

Also: Mods.

I have a feeling this game is going to get a lot out of mods once the official tools are available.

[demonlordcosnime]

lets play skyrim part 14

[friendlyfaded]

redacted characters as games in my steam library/games folder

vincent-vampire the masquerade: bloodlines. this one should need no explanation. vincent is literally a textbook toreador.

sam-stardew valley. he seems like a relaxing, slice-of-life type gamer. as much shit as he gives the gamecube, you know this man played the fuck out of animal crossing.

gavin-huniepop. yet another assigned game that should need no explanation.

huxley-minecraft. he build in the dirt. that’s all i got.

damien-little inferno. might seem a little on-the-nose, but the themes of escaping the grind of what everyone else is doing, a grind that is actively harming everyone, and seeing what no one else sees to escape that cycle, reads as extremely damien to me.

lasko-huniepop 2. don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. (it was either this or baldi’s basics. i’m allowed to slander him, i’m a lasko kinnie)

caelum-wobbledogs. cute lil alien puppies that you can feed and play with and crossbreed to make eldrich abominations that shouldn’t exist. i just know he would fucking love wobbledogs.

vega-fran bow. as much as i adore him with all my heart, vega is just very remor-coded. he beats up children. that’s all i gotta say about that.

milo-prey. 😇

david-destiny 2. i don’t have to explain it. you already know.

asher-sea of thieves. i just know my man is absolutely killing it with sea of thieves. he has a story about trying to take over a ship using a rowboat and accidentally going to the final quest of the game with the crew of that ship instead.

aaron-alien isolation. this one is based on pure vibes. i don’t got much of an explanation for this one beyond delving into a dangerous world your family member is involved in to save said family member.

elliott-valheim. i don’t know a whole lot about elliott, i’ve never paid much attention to his storyline, but he seems like the kind of nerdy guy to really enjoy valheim. plus, co-op game to play with his best friend and partner. it works super well.

camelopardalis-subnautica. he’d find it extremely relaxing and would adore all the fauna in the game. he has never killed a leviathan and doesn’t plan to. his favorites are the reefback leviathans.

avior-detroit: become human. kinda funny that this one goes to avior and not james, but avior absolutely has the vibes of a guy fully realizing that people entirely different from him have such life and value to them and gaining a new appreciation for them.

anton-hydroneer. i feel like he’d enjoy the logistics and openness of the gameplay. plus, the scenery is pleasing and aesthetic. he’d enjoy the foresty vibes of the starting area.

james-pokemon reborn. maybe it’s personal bias, maybe it’s just that the game has a bunch of dark themes involving world-ending disasters and one person being forced to make difficult choices to save it, costing several lives unintentionally and being separated from loved ones and traumatized in the process, but it fits him almost too well.

geordi-skyrim. geordi has logged thousands of hours in skyrim and no one can convince me otherwise. he mains a bosmer and is super proud of his challenge build he did where he followed the green pact for the entire game.

guy-don’t starve. he cooka da pizza. he would make sure you never starve. plus, i feel like he’d be really good at survival games like this, and he’d really enjoy the art style.

[mono-red-menace]

i do think it's funny how i'm like "aw man i'm a bad writer, my writing is bad, and i don't know what i Should be writing, and i'm not smart, and-" and then i see beloved game skyrim and its dogshit writing and immediately when i decide to start thinking about it, come up with a few ideas to make it actually like, work as an intro, and i'm able to convey parts where i think it doesn't work at all, parts where i think it could work if it was done differently, parts that could be added entirely to make parts of not just the story, but also important aspects of the gameplay to the player IMMEDIATELY to not only set a vibe but also like, convey to the player without words what is important- this is an action story game, yes, but it is, firstly, a ROLEPLAYING game. your first action once you gain control is a choice, to convey to the player that they're playing a game where the primary intent of the game is for the player to play a person in a world, not just a generic individual who runs into dungeons and kills dragons.

i think i struggle with some technical aspects of writing, such as description, and that makes me feel like i'm an awful writer, but i'm actually pretty decent at like. conceptual stuff. like conveying tone. conveying intent. conveying information at a trickle, only when it's needed, or to build interest in the world. i'm good at metaphor, i'm REALLY good at a lot of the things that writers are praised for, it's just i struggle with the basics, and i'm really hard on myself for it. :/