#funny newt words
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tripod-fish · 1 year ago
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rb for sample size pls!!
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dont-offend-the-bees · 3 months ago
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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branmuffins22 · 1 year ago
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iiiiiiii dreamt a dream of palismen last niiiiiight~
i think i might finally know what my funny little sona could have as a palisman (although they definitely wouldnt get it until postcanon). might even post a sketch of what it looked like in the dream, what it evoked, and what itd probably end up lookin like for "realsies". or hell, maybe i take the idea to blender and model it out. thats kinda like carving, right?
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haunthouse · 2 years ago
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ough. designations congruent with things
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scamanderishredmayniac · 2 years ago
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Newt Appreciation Month Day 8: Favourite moment with Tina!
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Well it has to be this.
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I just like how he gives her lip back, and gets sassy with her. So funny and hilarious. 😂
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scamanderishredmayniac · 2 years ago
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Lol
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YEP
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tinyluminaryzombie · 5 months ago
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Non Exhaustive Jily Recs: Hogwarts Years
Pre-Jily
Evergreen and Pine by @tinyluminaryzombie - 1K words
Sirius and Lily friendship while they’re both pining
Full disclosure I wrote this 🙈
Lily Evans is stuck in a closet with Sirius. All Sirius wants to talk about is exactly what she's trying not to think about: James Potter. Or: A seven minutes in heaven that's more like seven minutes of sweet sweet interegation ft. Lily and Sirius.
The Dog You Feed by @january3693 - 100K words (25 chapters)
Lily getting close with the Marauders. Lily and Sirius friendship. Pre Jily and Wolfstar. TW abuse (Sirius)
Beautifully written and love how it shows the evolution of Lily’s friendships.
When Sirius ran away from home he went to live with the Potters, but before he made it there he wound up lost, alone, and hurt in Muggle London. With James out of the country, Peter stuck at home, and Remus trapped by the full moon, it’s Lily Evans (who hates his guts) that Sirius is forced to turn to for shelter and more advice than he could have bargained for.
Jily Get Together
A Dog in Stag’s Clothing by @lynxindisguise - 4.8K words
Great James and Sirius prank. Jily and Wolfstar get together
So funny and sweet and cute!
In which Lily is bad at feelings, Remus loses all powers of observation, James is clueless, and Sirius has to do some waiting.
Erasmus Lovegoods’s Guide to Brewing Love Potions by @thelighthousestale - 5.3K words
Love potions, humor, and love confessions
Mixes in the potion instructions in a really cool way and is such a fun read!
How an accidental explosion in NEWT-level potions finally forced Lily and James to confront their feelings.
Through the Rain by @bookeatingbean - 6K words
Vignettes of Jily at Hogwarts
Such a well rounded and beautiful story!!
James and Lily's first kiss, and the story behind it. There's some fluff, some character study, and some good old fashioned angst.
Accidental Magic by @missgryffin - 9K words
Jealous Lily, love confessions, first kiss, first time
Hot hot hot hot hot hot!!!!!!!!
What else is there to do after confessing feelings in the middle of the night than spend a lazy Saturday in bed?
i would drink a case of you, darling by treacherous_talks - 13.4K words
Pining Lily while she’s friends with James plus seventh year / first war angst
Such a good how did Lily and James go from friends to more fic!
James is like seventy-ish percent certain that Evans is trying to make a move on him. But that thirty-ish percent doubt isn’t worth the risk of ruining the friendship they’ve worked so incredibly hard to develop. So he spends his days in blatantly enforced ignorance. Lily doesn’t know how much more obvious she can be. There’s only so much fluttering eyelashes and touching-his-arm-accidentally she can do. She can practically feel her brain cells dying every time she twists her hair around her finger. So she finally accepts that Potter won’t make the first move, and takes it upon herself do so. Sirius is just here to enjoy the fireworks. (And outside Hogwarts, the world grows ever darker.)
As If By Magic by @annabtg - 34K words
Seventh year Jily
Awesome multi chapter with so much pining!
Lily Evans, Head Girl, is starting her seventh year at Hogwarts. Alongside her, Head Boy James Potter, who has always had a crush on her yet has given up all hope of winning her over. But between working together, sharing fun times with friends and getting through the darker moments that come with living in an era of war, things between them are bound to change...
New Year by scaredofclouds - 92K words (14 chapters)
One year in life of Jily + all the Jily feels.
It’s on fanfiction.net but i love this fic so much and it’s definitely worth venturing from ao3!
Lily Evans is planning on seeing the New Year in alone, then just getting through the rest of the year with as few problems as possible. Unfortunately for Lily Evans, very little in her life is that simple. Still, what difference can a year make? 1977 through the eyes of L & J.
Established Jily
Fireside Chats by @kay-elle-cee - 1.7K words
Lily and Sirius friendship. Slight angst + family drama.
So so good and I love their friendship!
“He’s still upset, then?” “Evans,” Sirius starts, and she can hear the disbelief in his voice. “You uninvited him to Christmas with your family. Yeah, he’s still upset.”
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azrakaban · 6 months ago
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Theodore nott fluffy dating head canons please 🥺🥺🥺🥺
AGH YES YIPPEE I LOVE WRITING THESE I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS
Theodore Nott Headcanons <3
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Let's get right into it with some basic Theo headcanons, and then some dating ones too!
- Deffo has a Bernese Mountain dog back at home tbh, his mum loved them and got one before she died, and he loves that dog because it's all he really has left of her presence in his home
- Besties with Mattheo since they were both really little
- His mum died when he was eight, in childbirth, when giving birth to his little sister.
- his family is the Slytherin equivalent of the Weasleys, but reversed. He has four older sisters, and two younger sisters.
- Forces Mattheo to help him babysit his sisters
- Lapses into Italian when he gets tired
- Deffo sleeptalks in Italian, and when you first started dating you probably got so confused 😭
- He's really irritating when teaching you Italian, he'll throw in a word into his sentence and then make you look it up in a dictionary
- For sure loves dancing, whether or not you're good, if you're alone and there's music, call yourself Ginger Rogers
- Big fan of hand holding, he likes the feeling of having you that close.
- Hilarious when drunk, drunk words sober thoughts fr. He'll insult Draco's bleach, but then look at you and be like "Amore mio! guarda Matteo, guarda com'è bella! Aspetta, cosa stai facendo? Smettila di guardare la mia ragazza!" (My love! Look Mattheo, look how beautiful she is! Wait, stop looking at my girl!)
- Definitely a cat person besides his Bernese, and would adopt a black cat ASAP
- Would totally be an animagus, probably a black cat or a wolf
- If wolf, he'd maybe let you ride on his back. Only if he was in a good mood though.
- His music taste: Classical, specifically Beethoven, chase Atlantic, Coldplay. Guilty pleasure is Ariana Grande.
- Love language? Teaching you Italian for sure. Although does give presents randomly if he feels like it, but not too often.
- Definitely ambidextrous, and will help you write your homework. He learns how to mimic your handwriting so that if you don't feel good, he can do your homework for you
- convinced he sleeps with so many blankets that trying to find him in that MESS of a bed is impossible 😭
- actually apologises to your teddies if they fall of your bed
- reads poetry to calm down and will write it about you (you'll never see it though)
- definitely the designated driver most of the time 😭
- he's got snacks stashed all over the castle incase you two get hungry but you'll never know where he's hiding them 😭
- he has a resting bitch face until you're in the room
- queen of accidental photo bombs and there is not a single cute picture of you two no matter how
- pookie CANNOT swim. Don't even get him to try 🤡
- he's an ambivert, so mainly introverted with people he doesn't know, but is actually the clown of the group (him and Mattheo)
- He can play cello and double bass, but only plays for you if you ask
- actually the biggest hopeless romantic, Mr Darcy type shit
- Insanely good singer, and will sing to you in Italian
- good at herbology, took it for OWLS and NEWTs and became friends with Neville through it, they partner every day
- his favourite colour is navy
- Will speak Italian to Mattheo, who can speak it too, just to be funny. Like he'll be glaring at Draco and saying to Mattheo:
"So you think firewhiskey is worse than Muggle tequila?"
"Uh yeah, why are we glaring at Draco?"
"I want him to think we're shit talking him. So do you eat crackers when you drink or not?"
"No, gross. Nutella pancakes."
"Sounds... surprisingly good."
- He cannot wink, so he'll pass you a note in class and try but it looks like he's got something in his eye because both his eyes start twitching 😭
- He thinks pick up lines are shit, and won't use them. He will however ask you out politely and take you on a date or a few before he asks you to be his partner.
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Hope this is what you were looking for! Love and thanks for the request <3
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janetsboys · 7 months ago
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gally x female reader pleaseeee anything
here you go baby
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.:。✿*゚‘゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚’゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚¨゚✎・ ✿.。.:* *.:。
❀ characters: gally x fem!reader
❀ A/N: i’m so sorry for the amount of time it took me to post this
❀ summary: y/n has been in the Glade for three months, she’s a Builder, but she doesn’t get why her boss hates her.
❀ warnings: can’t think of any
english is not my first language<3
.:。✿*゚‘゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚’゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚¨゚✎・ ✿.。.:* *.:。
❀ ❀ ❀
“Why do you even care so much about what this jerk thinks about you?” Newt asks you as you’re both sat under a tree during your work break.
“I don’t know, we spend our days together and I just, I just wanted him to like me but every single thing i do makes him angry!” you say agitating your hands in incomprehension.
“He hates everyone, pretends he likes his friends, and he doesn’t like you because you get attention for being the only girl in here. He knows everyone likes you.” Newt was your best friend and always brutally honest with you, which was why you loved him so much.
You were looking at the grass under the “sun”light when a tall shadow came up to you and Newt. “Hey, it’s ten minutes break not five hours so get your ass back to the cabin.”
Gally was looking down on you, talking to you with a severe tone as usual. You in fact didn’t know why you wanted him to like you. He’s your boss and you spend all your days with him, you thought maybe you could see something behind his cold personality because weirdly, he didn’t intimidate you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like you.
You were fixing a fence for the Slicers to keep the livestock in the Glade when you heard Gally saying there was a bonfire tonight. You thought that would be the perfect occasion to try to make friends with him. Though you didn’t want to chase him down and beg for friendship, it was your last try.
When the night started and you joined the gladers at their little celebration for being alive another day (that’s what you guessed), you didn’t know everyone perfectly well yet. You liked Zart because he was really nice to you, you liked Ben and Minho cause they were unintentionally funny to you, and Newt was your favorite of course.
You looked around to find someone you know because you didn’t want to be in the middle of all the boys by yourself and also, you don’t like all the attention being on you (— which was unfortunate since the attention was always on you).
Minho waved at you with a straight face because he saves his smiles for rare occasions. You felt relieved as you walked to him sitting alone but you also felt a huge pressure as if someone was looking at you.
“Hey, how is this bonfire going so far for you?” Minho kindly asked giving you a cup of a weird drink, “Well, i like parties, i think i do, at least. I’d like to know everyone here but apparently, not everybody wants me here.” you respond taking a sip before making a face.
“Gally again?” Minho said exhaling, “I know i shouldn’t care but it makes me upset.” you say sitting next to him, sighing.
“Don’t worry, it’ll come. He’ll end up liking you just like we all do because, there’s absolutely no reason to hate you.” he kindly answers with a little smile. Your best friends really treated you well for the past three months because, even though they couldn’t understand how it was to be a girl in a world of boys, they knew how hard it was for them when they arrived here. They could only imagine it was harder for you.
“Thank you.” you say with a tiny smile before resting your head on his shoulder. You knew Minho wasn’t really the one to say kind words to everybody. Or the one to accept a head on the shoulder easily, but he let you.
“Hey Newt.” you saw him walking up to you with a huge cup, “Do you guys want to taste THIS?” he said laughing like he knew something you didn’t. “That thing has to hold a deadly virus.” Minho said before you added “No thank you, i’d rather stay alive.” slightly giggling.
Newt then turned around to look at everybody then told you; “The hell is he staring at?”, “Who?” you answered a bit concerned. “Gally.” Newt said laughing again, “Maybe he doesn’t hate you that much after all.”
“You know what? I’m gonna talk to him and we’ll see if tomorrow he still hates me.” you reposted getting up to go there. “He doesn’t hate you!” you hear Newt add as you walk away. Always the devils advocate, always staying positive for some reason.
You felt a little stressed out, your hands were slightly shaking as you got closer to him while he was focused on laughing with his friends and drinking, you started regretting but you were too far into your mistake to go back. Of course, the alcohol in your blood made you braver which was good in this situation.
You sat next to him as if it was totally normal. “Hey, Gally, this drink is really good. I heard the recipe was a secret.” you boldly told him putting hair behind you ear, trying to look confident.
“Thanks. What are you doing here? Your boyfriend and your lil’ best friend must miss you already.” He says loudly as all his Builder friends laugh (— they laughed like that was the funniest thing ever, i think they laugh at everything Gally says).
“I don’t have a boyfriend, i have good friends though. And some guys seem to dislike me for unknown reasons, they miss out on a lot of fun.” you smile, looking really friendly and nice. You’re not trying to seem patronizing or something. That would only make him despise you.
“So, Gally, you want us to go get another drink?” he stares at you for a while before getting up to follow you. Your legs shake from stress as he walks besides you.
“Why didn’t you tell me anything about you?” you break the short silence. “There’s nothing to say.” he coldly answered. “Oh come on, you like building and fighting, what else do you like?” “Having a purpose. And a home. I guess.” he finally opens up a little bit more to you. You feel a small smile growing on your face, breaking the ice.
“Great, you know what, I like that too. We have a common point, see?” he stops walking when you finish talking.
“You know, (y/n), i didn’t like all the changes you brought with you. Everything was new when you arrived in that box.” he says looking at you. “And you hate change, i get it. I’m sorry.” you say smiling again. You finally started to understand what kind of guy he was, he needed stability, and control.
“It’s not your fault, we made those adjustments for you and you turned out to be a Builder. I think it is- nice to have you with us.” wow, Gally was complementing you? That made you blush for a reason you ignored. You then started walking again towards the drinks. “I’m glad to work with you guys too. It’s tough for me but i try to stay positive and fit in, you know?” you confess to your new friend.
Maybe his drink convinced him you weren’t that annoying after all. He handed you a glass of whatever that was and you walked back to the others to sit down with them.
You relaxed a little bit and started making jokes, your coworkers were really dumb (most of them) but pretty funny and nice even though they were kind of onerous sometimes — as you are a girl and of course it means there are a lot of inappropriate jokes they’re allowed to make.
You knew Alby made it very clear no one was allowed to touch you, or go too far, so you felt safe with them. You knew teenagers like them wouldn’t hurt you, even the dumbest ones.
Surprisingly, you started laughing with Gally, he was actually chill in parties, unlike the bossy guy you knew at work and also in the glade in general. Maybe those nights were important to him because it was a traditional thing, you were staring at him as he told a story about Zart, that you never heard before.
You didn’t know why exactly but you needed to analyze his face, you liked the way his eyes moved and the way he smiled telling that anecdote. You bursted out laughing at the exact same time the other Builders did, he was a good storyteller.
When everybody started separately talking, you looked at Gally and spoke, pretty loudly so he could hear you “You’re a good storyteller” you smiled, he leaned over a bit, to hear you “What?” he asked smiling, you put your hand on his arm and got closer to his ear, you were more confident, you felt like you usually do when you’re with Next and Minho. “I said you’re a good storyteller” you chuckled slightly.
He pulled away and looked at you, he was smiling way more now that you guys had talked. Now that you knew he didn’t exactly hate you. “Really?” you nodded, and he stood up and you tilted your head slightly.
He held his hand out, you took his hand without hesitation and walked with him.
You walked in the Glade without really knowing where you wanted to go, you chuckled as you talked about the story he told.
“Did he really wake up with those drawings on his face?” “He really did, and he stayed like that the whole day.” he laughed.
You sat down together at the end of a tree, you were both a bit tired but you still wanted to talk.
“You’ve been here three years, right?” you say looking at the trees around you. The “moon”light made everything look peaceful in the Glade.
Gally nodded “Three years.” he said staring at a random tree. You looked at him “Do you think they’ll find a way out?” you ask, you still had the innocence of being here for three months, because you had no idea how it felt for them. This was the only home he’d ever known.
He shrugged, “I don’t think anything, I wait.” you looked down, you wondered everyday why you were all here, why you were the only girl, why didn’t you remember your life.
“Do you think we like, knew each other out of the Glade? In our other lives, i mean.” you look back at the trees, not noticing he had turned his head to look at you. “You think we were friends or something?” he asked then continued, “maybe we were like- high school enemies.”
You giggled and looked at him “I’m sorry but you must’ve been a bully.” he nodded chuckling “Alright alright i’ll give you that one. You must’ve been the girl that talked back to teachers but still had good grades.” you laughed at his statement, you had thought so many times about what your life could’ve been like outside the Glade.
Somehow, you always thought you used to know Gally. “I’m almost sure I knew you.” you say, looking in front of you, your two bodies sitting pretty close to each other. He turned his head to look at you. “Is that why you wanted to be my friend here?” he wondered, he’d always been curious about you, he just never admitted it.
You nodded then answered “I think…Maybe i was looking for comfort and landmarks. I thought maybe what i felt towards you was that research of something. Because i couldn’t let go of the past even if i didn’t remember anything.”
He was listening closely to every word you said, you didn’t think he’d want to understand you and genuinely listen. He nodded “So, i was like, a magnet and you were metal?” he said sounding surprisingly soft and warm.
You giggled slightly looking at him “Yeah, that’s it. That’s why i didn’t want you to hate me.” you smiled. He shook his head “I never hated you, i was just, scared, i guess.” you could hear the slight shake in his voice, because you paid so much attention to details.
You heard him say i guess and he was trying to make his fear seem like nothing, but it mattered to you. “I think, you had every right to be scared.” you said with a gentle tone, nodding your head slightly.
You kind of just, looked into each other’s eyes for a while, it was like there was some sort of connection between you, you felt seen. The real you, the one you didn’t even remember.
He leaned towards you, you stopped thinking, you stopped hearing the loud thoughts and worries in your mind, he carefully placed his huge hand on your face, you closed your eyes as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips against you.
That was both of y’all’s first kiss ever, which felt weird, you gently took his hand into yours as he kissed you. You quickly both heard Clint screaming as he was looking for you guys.
You both pulled away and bursted out laughing, you had no idea what all that was, but it was surely a new connection.
.:。✿*゚‘゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚’゚・✿.。.:* *.:。✿*゚¨゚✎・ ✿.。.:* *.:。
thank you for reading me🩵
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emixunn · 21 days ago
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The difference between Newt’s letter/note in the books vs movies is so funny cause in the movie it was this long heartfelt letter saying goodbye when in the books it was this short, desperate, pleading, chilling note containing eight words written in a hurry but given to the only person he could trust to carry it out.
AND HE DIDN’T EVEN READ IT UNTIL HE HAD ALREADY FAILED THE ONLY THING NEWT HAD EVER ASKED OF HIM!
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lacollectionneuse1967 · 1 year ago
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slip of the tongue part 3 - reckoning
Theseus Scamander x Reader
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"Keep your hands to yourself!" You snap, trying to infuse as much venom into your voice as possible. "I can't," he groans.
summary: a second mission with newt and the group reintroduces theseus's former fiancée, leta lestrange, into the mix. old wounds and insecurities flare as you both reckon with your pasts and make decisions that determine your future.
fem!reader. theseus scamander x reader.
category: romance with plot. some smut. slight angst!! non-canon compliant.
warnings: 18+ smut, semi-public inappropriate touching, dirty talk, hand kink
part one / part two / part three
author's note: it's funny how the title of this fic doesn't really fit anymore HAHA, goes to show that i did not plan this story at all. this part is going to be LONGER & more focused on plot & their character development! hope you enjoy, as always let me know if you'd like me to continue :)
The surreal, electric buzz from the gala dissipates as soon as you enter the elevator at the Hotel de Rome with Theseus.
Theseus's jacket is so large you're practically drowning in it, the sleeves hang well past your hands. You feel like a little girl in a nightgown. The elevator pulleys burr mechanically as it slowly rises, the electric bulb light casting your face in a sickly, ghastly light. The backs of your high heels have begun to dig painfully into your skin, that stinging pain the only thing grounding you to reality, that and Theseus's warm body beside you. You're positive your feet are bleeding.
Your weariness is mirrored in everyone else's faces when you walk into the hotel room at last. It's obvious that they're all overextended. There's no semblance of victoriousness, even after your successful heist.
Newt stands, alert, at the sight of his brother.
"Theseus! Finally, I was beginning to worry-"
"I'm fine, brother," Theseus waves him off. His hair is slightly damp from the snowfall, and his dress shirt as well. "We got caught up, but we're fine."
When Newt turns to speak to you, his lips part but no words come out. He's staring at your mouth. He looks pale and horrified.
"What?" You turn to the others and to Theseus in uncertainty. Tina and Jacob are also looking at you with newfound distress, but Theseus seems as clueless as you, frowning warily at Newt.
Newt makes as if to bring a hand to your face but pulls back at the last moment.
"Oh dear," Newt says. "Y-Your lipstick is smeared... I'm so terribly sorry, Y/N. And your hair—I didn’t think Dietrich would actually-"
Theseus half-raises an arm, cutting his brother short, looking admonished. 
“Actually, Newt, that would be my doing...”
Your face warms considerably. Newt chokes on his words.
“Oh…” He turns to the rest of the group, his face nearly flushed as yours. Jacob lets out a strangled noise and Tina does a discreet double-take between you and Theseus.
“Well,” says Newt, mercifully changing the subject. “We all made off fantastically. Good work.”
You want to share in his congratulations, but it feels premature with Grindelwald still at large. It doesn't feel as though you have much to celebrate in this tiny hotel room, the five of you still standing awkwardly in your evening wear.
"What now?" Asks Tina.
Newt sits on one of the two twin-sized beds and hunches over, forearms on his legs. He is your designated leader, but you have to admit he looks so small and frail without his coat. Thin and unsure of himself.
"I have it on good authority that Credence will be at a mausoleum in the French Alps. He could be heading there now, we have no way of knowing, but he is planning on going there soon. Tomorrow, maybe."
"Why?" Tina's face is full of emotion. You don't know who Credence is, or why he is important to the resistance, but you don't feel that now is the time to ask. It stuns you, the subtlety of her expression, how someone can look so crushed and full of love at once.
"He's, erm, searching for his ancestral records I believe," Newt answers. "The Lestrange artifacts and family tree were moved there from the cemetery in Paris, possibly by Grindelwald. This is likely all a trap set for Credence, but this could very well be our last chance to intercept him. To save him."
Tina is speechless, Jacob nods solemnly.
"Y/N," says Newt. It startles you to hear him say your name in all of this deliberation. "I know you probably don't understand half of what we're saying, and we understand if you don't want to come. But we'll likely run into Grindelwald and his followers. They're after Credence. We could use you."
You don't even have to think.
"Of course, Newt. I go where Theseus goes." You wonder if you sound too intense, too devoted, so you add: "And besides, I want to be of any help that I can."
Theseus reaches out and clasps your hand in his. It thrills you, for him to do this in front of his brother, in front of the others. Your heart races, happily so.
Newt smiles at the sight.
"Sleep," he turns to everyone. "We leave first thing in the morning."
----
The next day, by the time you make it to the French Alps in spats of apparition and stretches of traveling by train, it is nearly dusk again.
You and Theseus had slept like the dead in the too-small hotel room bed, with Tina in the other bed and Jacob and Newt, in a turn of events beyond your understanding, in some hidden compartment within Newt's brown leather suitcase. Strange, but you didn't question it. Your bodies ached when you woke, but it felt like heaven to you, being held by him, you wouldn't have traded it for the world.
"I'm too big for this bed," he lamented, stretching his limbs, when the two of you woke in the morning.
"Hmm, yeah. Too big... " When you smiled coyly and narrowed your eyes at him he threw a pillow at your face. You caught it with a laugh.
"Naughty," he chided.
"The resistance," as Theseus had once jokingly called it, turned out to be not so glamorous after all. The resistance was perpetually tired and forever embarking on some haphazard plans only half-understood.
But when you set foot at the base of the mountains in the Alps, you feel bizarrely energized. This is what you imagined the work of an Auror would be like, chasing leads, pursuing justice through crowded cities and rugged terrain. It feels good to be so proactive after a year of being more or less cooped up in an office at the Ministry. And, best of all, Theseus is here with you. And he wants you, if not your heart then your body, at last, at least...
"This can't be it, Newt," you hear Jacob say, his breath pluming in front of him in small huffs. He struggles through the thick snowbed to catch up to Newt, who is a bit ahead of the group. You're in what looks like a forest clearing, the mountains rise in the distance, gargantuan and feeling a bit holy in their emptiness, their silence.
"He's right. There's nothing out here," calls Tina.
It's a winter forest. A killing wood. In truth, you’ve never been so cold in your entire life. The whole world has turned white as death: white blizzard blotting the air, thick blankets of fresh snow carpet the ground, and everywhere outside the clearing are great white pines standing like sentries, their edges blurred and softened by the snow fog.
You can see what’s in front of you, but you can’t see what’s coming.
Newt walks clumsily back through the budding blizzard to rejoin the group.
"The mausoleum should be a bit uphill from here!" He assures. "It's concealed by magic. Credence doesn't know, but we need someone with the blood of a Lestrange to enter."
The blood of a Lestrange.
Before you can even make the connection, Theseus stiffens beside you and drops your hand.
"Newt, you didn't." His voice is grave.
"I'm so sorry."
You wonder in a shrugging, aloof way why Newt looks to you after saying this to Theseus. It still doesn't mean anything to you.
A branch cracks, a high, ear-splitting sound like a broken bone. When you see the figure emerge from the tree line, your hand is already on your wand.
Grindelwald, you think.
But then Theseus's arm snaps out to yours, stilling your hand, almost just as quick.
"Don't." He says.
She approaches you slowly and you make out who it is almost immediately, just by the shape of her silhouette. Theseus and Newt's reactions make sense now, it all clicks into place with resounding dread. You feel the word "oh" in the pit of your stomach like a dropped stone.
Floating from the forest like that, in her wine-colored silk dress and black coat, Leta Lestrange really does look something like a ghost, or an angel...
When she approaches she walks straight to Theseus.
"Newt wrote to me," she says loud enough for everyone to hear, but she is only looking at Theseus. Looking at him like she's searching for some lifeline there. "Credence thinks he's my brother... We both know this cannot be true. I can help you get inside the mausoleum. I want to help you."
You dare to look at Theseus, bracing yourself. He looks genuinely stricken, lips parted, palms open and hanging limp beside him. So little affects him, he's so confident and secure in himself. But there in the clearing, the look on his face...
Before anyone can speak Newt steps forward again.
"I'm so sorry, but we need to get to Credence before Grindelwald. We have to go. Credence is... sensitive. He's afraid. It's best Tina and I go ahead. Leta, Theseus," he turns to the two, who are having some silent conversation with their eyes. It's so private and familiar you have to look away, you want to scream. "You two follow closely behind."
"What about me?" Jacob chimes in with a nervous laugh.
Newt tilts his head and gives Jacob a sympathetic smile.
"Don't worry, my friend. I won't leave you to the wolves. Y/N is a brilliant duelist and a master of all sorts of charms. You two will stay at the very back and wait outside the mausoleum. We can't afford to frighten Credence, and you need to alert us if you see any of Grindelwald's followers coming our way."
You nod numbly. Some roaring white noise fills your ears, anesthetizing the scene in front of you.
"Theseus," you hear Leta say softly. She places a gloved hand on his forearm. "Can I speak with you on the way there?"
"Of course," he responds, graciously, easily. She leads him up ahead.
You keep hoping Theseus will turn to you, even just to look back at you, to reassure, to reconnect now that Leta has been thrust back into the mix between you.
He does not turn back. You stare blankly at the back of his head as it disappears in the blurring snow. He follows Leta into the woods like a man being swept away by magic, following some siren song you can't hear.
'I can't compete with her,' you realize achingly. The truth rings dully in the pit of your stomach, metallically. 'They were engaged. They've been connected since childhood... I'm nothing.'
You try not to wring your hands or shuffle your feet, try not to look like someone left behind, wounded. You blink at the delicate crystals of snow that land on your lashes, hoping that the others don't mistake them for tears.
Newt comes over to you cautiously. He's not one for knowing what to say, but he's perceptive, and kind. Sinking, sinking, you can feel your heart being pulled to your feet and swallowed by the ground.
"Y/N," he begins. "I'm sure... When they were together—but when they separated…" He swallows and starts again. "I’m quite sure my brother’s mind is made up. I know he cares for you too, though I don’t know if he made you any promises-"
“He did not,” your voice sounds acrid, bitter to your ears, petulant, and you hate it. “It’s fine, really.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, it’s okay. He doesn’t owe me anything.” 
'And I don't owe him anything,' you finish in your mind. When really you love him like breathing, need him like water. You're just trying not to let it show.
You want to be nonchalant and unaffected, want to give only what he’ll take. You don’t want to ask for too much. 
You don’t know why loving always takes the form of limitation with you. You withheld your feelings for him for nearly a year. You only ever do what he asks. You turned down jobs and tried your best not to burden him with your feelings, with your past.
Why this mode of loving, why starvation and restraint, when love itself, for you, felt like every door in you burst open at the sight of his face? It was a wild and unwieldy joy, a freeing sort of affection that you felt for him. Now and always. 
You swallow thickly, embarrassed at the speed at which he abandoned you for her. Embarrassed by the way Tina and Newt and Jacob, even, are looking at you.
"Let's go," you say, trying to sound encouraging. Newt and Tina run ahead. You and Jacob walk in silence uphill, trudging through the snow.
----
In the end you don't see any action at all. The mausoleum appeared at Leta's beckoning, a wave of her wand and the stunning glass building, hexagonal, glittered into solidity in front of you. You and Jacob waited outside, as instructed, but through the thick, crystalline glass you could make out that the bodies and artifacts were housed in beautiful stone tombs, scattered in the glass room like giant chess pieces, and you could see what unfolded within.
Leta, Newt, and Tina were talking to Credence. They met him down where he was crouched on the floor, explaining something to him in hushed tones. He was sobbing so softly. And then he was gone, and so was Tina, who left with him.
You feel so utterly mute, so adrift, you're glad that Jacob doesn't speak to you.
Newt is the one who jogs out to you and Jacob. Theseus is still inside talking to Leta, who seems sad in a soft, unperturbed way. He's gazing at her so gently as she speaks. It's the way he looks at small animals, and children, and the people he loves.
Looking at them feels like looking at a photograph, or like looking through the windows at Primrose Hill when you were a child, before you'd outgrown the title of "orphan." You would escape the orphanage to peek into the townhouses, the family homes overlooking Regent's Park. Dining tables and grand pianos, all the lights on. Nothing to hide...
"Y/N," Newt says breathlessly. "We better get going. We beat Grindelwald here, but I don't know by how much."
You cross your arms to help with the cold.
"Okay. Where are we going-"
"Oh, it's probably best if you go back to London. Back to the Ministry. Lay low until you hear from me, or Dumbledore."
You don't know why his goodbye is so cutting. You know that he's not abandoning you too, but it's almost too much.
He purses his lips sympathetically.
"Stay safe, Y/N. Grindelwald is planning something big. But if we act any earlier Grindelwald and the Ministry will be onto us and our efforts will have been in vain."
"I know," you say. "I understand."
You apparate away without another word. You try not to think about the two of them, in the forest clearing, in the glass mausoleum, together in all the years before that, but you allow yourself to wonder when Theseus will notice that you're gone.
----
On Monday you call in sick. You've never called in sick once in your entire time at the Ministry, so your request for a sick day is accepted easily and without complaint.
You sleep the whole day and do not answer the door when you hear the knocks. Knowing who they belong to is agonizing enough. He'd never been to your place before, but you can't imagine that it was difficult for him to procure the address.
You wake from your day of fitful, restless sleeping around 2am. Moonlight streams cold and bright through your chiffon curtains, filling your apartment with blue and silver shadows that you find comforting, beautiful maybe.
When you pad out into your living room, barefoot, you see a letter on the hardwood floor. A creamy envelope that had been slipped under the doorframe, waiting there for you like magic.
You bend down to pick it up and open it. There's nothing on the envelope itself, but you'd know him by handwriting alone, by his breathing, his scent.
Dear Y/N,
I know you're not sick. Because you're never sick. You have the most formidable immune system I've ever come across and I think muggle doctors should study you in a lab for it. But, I confess, that's beside the point...
I know you're cross with me. Please, if I have upset you or, worse, if I've broken your heart, I can assure you it was never my intention. Meaning: if I hurt you it is because I am a fool, and not because you are deserving of any hurt.
Forgive me for my behavior yesterday. I needed to resolve some things, and Leta's arrival was a true shock for me. I behaved poorly to you, but even more unforgivably to Leta, who I left mere weeks before our wedding, confessing my love for another woman. The pain I've caused her haunts me, and I was happy to be absolved of it yesterday evening. Happy to answer her questions and to be forgiven. But I should not have left you there alone. I should not have let go of your hand. I damn myself, because as much as I love you, it seems I've never been able to do it well.
I hope this pitiful explanation and guileless apology will suffice. Come, pretty girl. Come to work tomorrow, I beg you. My whole life is on the floor without you, nothing works, my head's a mess.
Yours,
T
You heart clenches painfully. Your lungs constrict and your hand tightens around the letter. You love him. You want to let it go, what happened between him and Leta, and you and him, in the clearing.
But you can't.
----
Apparently, it's going to be a week of first-times. Because, also for the first time in your career at the Ministry, you are running late.
"Fuck," you hiss to yourself. You hate traveling by Floo Flame, are used to the muggle comforts of walking and the London Underground, but you don't have time.
You dust off the fireplace ash from your shoulders as you walk through the British Ministry.
"Y/N!" you hear. The voice slices through the bustle and noise of the suit-clad workers not with its volume but with its familiarity.
It's him.
'Oh, god. Already?' You'd been hoping to avoid Theseus today. An impossible task, considering he was your boss, but you'd taken on more impossible tasks before. Bigger monsters.
"Y/N, hold on!" Theseus shouts again.
You have to speed up your walking to a near-comical pace to escape his long-legged strides. Hard to do in heels.
You turn your body sideways and push forward through a thicket of office workers with an "Excuse me! So sorry!" to shoulder your way into an empty elevator.
You slump against the back wall, exhaling deeply in relief. No Theseus-encounter after all. You really managed to-
"Aha!" Theseus exclaims, interjecting his overstretched hand just as the elevator doors begin to close. "Perfect. I was just looking for you, Y/N."
You don't respond, but huff in indignation and move aside, making room for him in the small elevator. He presses your floor number, level two, looking far too self-satisfied for someone who just ran across the marble floors of the Ministry of Magic, unrepentantly.
Your heart pounds as the elevator begins to move, you don't know why you can't look at him. Maybe it's because you know, if you did, all would be forgiven. You jolt when he leans forward and pulls the emergency break. The elevator comes to a jerking, screeching halt.
When he looks at you, sidelong, your stomach flips.
"C'mere," he mumbles, and moves to trap your body against the wall.
Your body responds differently than your mouth, arching against the wall, pushing closer to him.
"Ugh, no," you say, mournfully. You want it bad, want him. But you're still angry. It's oddly possessing, the notion that just a kiss from him could save you.
Your words do give him pause, however. He's standing so close to you he basically has you up against the wall, there's no escaping him. His chest heaves, you can feel his breath against your face. You want to press his open mouth to yours, to taste it, open yours to his tongue.
"No?" He echoes dubiously. "Did... did you not get my letter?"
"I got your letter," you retort, feeling flustered. "I found it... insufficient."
He starts forward again, a hand cups your ass. You slap it away.
"Keep your hands to yourself!" You snap, trying to infuse as much venom into your voice as possible.
"I can't," he groans.
"Try harder."
"I am rational and measured about all things in life, except for this, for you."
"Try harder," you say again, more forcefully, ignoring him.
"Hmm," he hums, considering. You don't move this time when his hand traces your thigh through the material of your skirt, you just stare, mesmerized. Your skin breaks out in chills. His fingertips move in lazy, dancing circles.
His hands, his fucking hands. They're so big. Long, elegant fingers with large knuckles. The veins there, the fact that you know what his fingers feel like inside of you...
Theseus follows your gaze with his eyes and scoffs, but not unkindly.
"You want my fingers inside of you, baby?"
He doesn't wait, and when you don't protest he doesn't stop. His hands slide under your skirt, one of his thumbs is pressing firmly against your clit through the lacy material of your underwear. He applies such a steady, unmoving pressure, staring into your eyes relentlessly and leaning his thumb harder and harder into that one spot until you squirm back against the wall with a ragged moan, breaking his burning gaze, not sure if you're more desperate to escape the sensation or to keep feeling it, over and over again.
"Theseus," his name sounds filthy out of your mouth, heady as a moan, though you're actually trying to tell him something. "Really, I just-"
The elevator lurches forward again, shuddering in place for a few moments before resuming its path with a piercing screech. You tumble into Theseus, losing your balance, and he catches you with both his arms.
"What did-"
"I don't know," he says, helping you right yourself, looking over his shoulder at the doors.
The elevator stops at level six, the Department of Magical Transportation. Your face is still flushed red and tingling with heat when the ornamental brass doors slide open and the two of you are greeted by a curious, gawking group of wizards that includes the department head, Mr. Silas Elodius.
"Oh, heavens! Mr. Scamander, it's you," Silas Elodius is a unfailingly happy, plump man. "We were wondering what must've happened! It seemed the two of you got stuck. Well, all sorted now!" He laughs heartily. "Trust our department to get you moving again."
Theseus returns the laugh, a little less enthusiastically. The both of you move against the back wall of the elevator to allow the large group to shuffle in.
"Excuse us, we're headed to level three," Silas smiles wildly, toothily. He tends to talk through his smiling, which makes his next admission all the more horrific. "Terrible accident involving a misplaced potion bottle on the Knight Bus! Boom! Limbs lost. Really nasty business."
"Erm," Theseus seems shaken, at a loss of how to respond, which is uncommon for him. "We'll be level two."
"Right, of course!" Mr. Elodius motions impatiently for one of his several colleagues to press the button. With the combined weight of everyone there, the elevator moves slowly, dragging sluggishly upwards through space. Thankfully, the group does not turn back to you or Theseus, preoccupied with their own small conversations.
Your heart is still thumping pitifully, your pussy still throbbing and aching around nothing, craving his fingers, stuffed inside. You're wet, and there is no relief in sight. But you still want, need, to be mad at him.
"Y/N," Theseus is leaning in, speaking so low that only you can hear him. The sound of your name in his mouth, it's a purr, a plea.
You shudder. "Theseus, please don't."
"If this were my office," he whispers. His hand returns to the front of your skirt, slips beneath the hemline and nudges your underwear aside, slides up, embarrassingly easily, between your slick folds. You lean back against the wall in silent prayer, for him. You're frozen, incapable of moving, incapable of telling him to stop.
"If this were my office," he continues, voice thick and ragged. His finger moves leisurely, pumping in and out, driving you crazy. "I'd have you on my desk with your legs up. And I'd lick you until you cried. I bet you're such a pretty crier. I wanna make you come on my mouth, my tongue."
It takes everything in you to remain quiet, to remain still. Just as you begin to lose yourself in the feeling, your head going pleasantly fuzzy, the elevator dings and he retracts his hand, smoothly, unfussily.
He looks so unaffected, leaning back against the wall. It's you who has to bow your head to avoid Mr. Elodius's eyeline. Your knees tremble.
"Well, this is us! Best of luck, Scamander." Mr. Elodius waits for his people to file out of the elevator before departing.
Theseus salutes him with two fingers, in a charmingly youthful way.
When the doors close again you've recovered more of yourself, your wits.
"Where were we?" He corners you again, kissing the side of your neck.
"I'm mad at you, Theseus." You don't stop him from kissing your neck, but you grip his wrist, haltingly hard, when it starts to reach under your skirt again.
"Mm," he hums against your throat, noting the way you expose more of it, craning it for his access. "No, you're not."
With a nip of his teeth, he extracts a whine and a tremor down your legs. You imagine his hands, his beautiful big hands, coming around your throat, squeezing, applying pressure there until you go light-headed. You want to be choked by him. You want to get down on your knees in this elevator and unbuckle his belt and take him into your mouth until he's the one who is needy and whining, wanting it bad, moaning and praising you, calling you a good girl.
The elevator dings for the final time and you have to physically push him off of you. He falls back without a fight.
"Our floor," you say, trying to make your expression into something like a glare. You're not very good at resenting him.
For a moment you're not sure what he's going to do to you. It's scandalizing and rousing, the idea that he might grab you, touch you anyway. The look in his eyes is black and beyond hungry, sapped of all restraint. He gulps and clenches his jaw. Blinks at last.
Ever the gentleman.
"Of course, after you," Theseus says. He motions for you to walk ahead of him.
You stomp off to your shared office, trying pathetically to fix your skirt and your hair and any other part of you that looks disheveled.
When he comes into his office behind you and closes the door, latching the lock, he looks equally undone. Vulnerable almost. It's not only that he needs you, which he does, but that he wants to make it okay and doesn't know how.
"Y/N," he makes a vague, defenseless gesture, throwing up his arms weakly, and sighs. "I don't.... How can I make it right? How can I make it up to you?"
It's a cheerless, pitiful noise, your responding laugh.
"Don't worry, Theseus. I got your letter. And besides, I manage my hopes quite well on my own."
"I wish you wouldn't. Don't."
You scoff.
"No, it's my fault for hoping for more from you. You're asking me to, what, put my faith in the world?" You know your tone is sharper than intended, and your expression is that of a burned woman, hardened and jaded.
But he doesn't hold it against you. You try not to flinch away when he steps forward and brings a hand up to your face, to your cheek.
"No, I'm asking you to put your faith in me."
You could cry at this tenderness he's affording you.
"I just," you gently place your hand over his and lower it from your face. "I just can't believe that you don't feel anything for her. I can't shake the way I felt watching you leave me, without a second glance."
Your voice breaks on the last word. You're admitting more than you bargained for. Admitting that this is the way you've felt your entire life. The orphanage, your parents, every adult who promised to help you, to save you, and didn't. It was too familiar of a pain for it to hurt as badly as it did, being left behind.
"Leta, she... I don't know what you mean," he says, shaking his head.
“Theseus, I'm not stupid! I saw the way you went after her! The way you left me behind, it was like I ceased to exist. You obviously still have feelings for her—"
“I have feelings for you!" He raises his voice in frustration, and it startles you. "She’s the one I left behind, for you.” 
You feel so worked up, so overheated. You don't want to be fighting with him, not now, not ever.
"I-I don't believe you-"
"Y/N, you are essentially calling me a liar right now. I don't know what else I can say to make you believe it, you act as if I took off with her and kissed her-"
"You didn't have to! You already have been for the last two years, Theseus!" Your hands are wavering, your bottom lip too. "I don't believe you because, if it's true what you told me, about you leaving her for me, why didn't you act in the months after?! You proposed to Leta mere months after dating, but for the months you were single you didn't try to-"
"I was your boss, Y/N! I was trying to be a good man, a good friend!" He rakes a hand through his hair roughly.
"So I'm just supposed to believe that you left your fiancée to live a life as my friend? To continue working with me like-"
“I apologize if that’s too difficult for you to believe, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.” His tone is brusque, almost business-like.
It's like a shot to the heart. His lack of understanding, lack of seeing.
“Too difficult for me to believe? Me?!” You’ve never raised your voice at him like this, every word is straining out of you, painfully. Any semblance of control you had is unspooling, rapidly. “Theseus, my second month here I was offered a position as an Auror, my dream job, what I’d worked so hard for at school, and I turned it down to keep being your assistant! I turned it down to keep living a life in your shadow. I thought that if I could make myself smaller for you I could-"
You can’t continue, the tears rise up in a saltwater tide in your lungs. You turn your head away, quick, so he doesn’t see your face break.
"Y/N," he says, gentle, broken. "Y/N, I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"Maybe you didn't want to know. I... I know you desire me, Theseus. I'm sorry, at one point I thought I could just sleep with you, and I wouldn't need anything more, but.... Oh, god, I'm sorry."
You rub at your eyes aggressively, even as the tears continue to fall, in a self-conscious and fruitless display.
He looks so lost, looks like he very badly wants to comfort you, to hug you, but no longer knows if he's allowed to.
"Y/N, I can recommend you for promotion, I can-"
"It's fine, Theseus. I made my decision and I've lived with it. There are no open positions right now anyway, the post was filled."
It's silent for long enough that the quiet no longer hangs there like an awful, third body between you. You regain your composure, the tears pass and give way to a hollow feeling.
"Y/N," Theseus speaks at last. He's standing across his office still, but the look in his eyes is so full of longing and yearning, he could've been across a train platform, a crowded room, a continent. "I have not been doing this right. I should've asked you to be my girlfriend a long time ago, I know. For that I am ashamed. But..."
He licks his lips and inhales sharply, trying to find the words.
"Y/N, please don't accuse me of lusting after you. What I feel for you is nothing so shallow as lust. Yes, I want to be inside you all the time, but that's because being close to you, this," he steps forward and places a cold hand against your chest demonstratively, below your neck, skin to skin, "This isn't close enough."
You look up into his seaglass eyes, your heart in tatters. Him, it's always been him.
"I miss you when I'm with you," he says. "I love you, I've told you before and I'll tell you again and again, but it's up to you to believe it, sweetheart."
When you still don't say anything, can't find the words, he looks crestfallen, closes his eyes.
"What do you want?" he asks you, opening them.
And you can't answer. To love him freely? To feel held and chosen by him? To live your dreams and relinquish your past without shame or grief or hesitation? Before you begin to say anything at all, the words building and budding at the back of your throat like a flower about to bloom, a knock sounds at the door.
Theseus closes his eyes and sighs, pained.
"Theseus-"
"I have to go," he says tersely. "I've been gone with my brother for too long. The department heads have called me in for questioning. I don't know when I'll be out."
You nod, swallowing.
He looks at your face, a look of determination settling on his.
"I promise to make it right."
----
It's past closing time and Theseus still has not returned from the depths of whatever secret, dim-lit corner of the Ministry they took him to for questioning. All day you've spent heartlessly filling out paperwork, finishing up your research assignments, stewing in anxiety.
Please, keep him safe. You think to no one in particular. Please.
You reluctantly leave the office, hoping to find him in the Atrium. You sit there glumly at the edge of the fountain, shooting periodic glances towards the elevators and the staircases, hoping to see him emerging from the Department of Mysteries, maybe, or the Courtrooms. Even the paper missives, usually magicked into airplane and bird shapes, have stopped flying overhead in the Atrium. The Ministry is emptying out, there's hardly any foot traffic at all.
You feel as though you handled everything, your insecurities and emotions, so artlessly, so recklessly in your last conversation. You are aching to make it better.
Eventually, you walk back to level two in a daze, pushing through the heavy oak door to the Aurors Offices with all the attention of a sleepwalker, your mind elsewhere.
You nearly trip on the house elf in front of the door when you stumble into Theseus's office. The elf grumbles in discontent.
House elves? Your shared office is hardly recognizable. Half-cleaned out, three Ministry house elves are busy at work, boxing and taping and scrubbing the furniture and shelves clean. Your stomach lurches.
Theseus. Where are all his things? Was he found out? Arrested?
Your voice sounds like a stranger's to your ears, so transformed by sheer panic.
"Hello, excuse me!" You say to one of the house elves. He looks over in open disdain, though you can't blame him, seeing as you almost crushed him just now. "Hi, yes, what is going on? What are you doing with Mr. Scamander's things? I'm his assistant."
"Mr. Scamander," the elf drawls, setting aside his mop bucket with a melodramatic thunk and splash. "No longer works here."
The elf tries to turn back to his work when you lunge forward and grasp him by the shoulder. He looks at your hand on him in abject shock.
"Please!" You beg, falling to your knees to better convince the house elf. "I need to know what's happened to him, it's important."
"Nothing has happened to him, miss. He turned in his letter of resignation an hour or so ago!" The elf shakes you off of him, none too gently.
He gestures rudely to the two, untouched pieces of paper laid out on the desk. Everything else has been cleared.
You snatch up the nearest page with a shaking hand, eyes racing over the words.
It's from the heads of your department, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and it confirms what the elf told you. Theseus gave up his position and designated you as the one he desired to fill the post. The Aurorship is yours.
The letter requested that you complete a trial period of one month, as it was unheard of for a witch with no Auror experience to take up the Head Auror post. But they were amenable if the trial period went well. These were dark days, recruits were scarce and few other Aurors were jumping to fill the position. Your confirmation meeting with the department heads was to be after work, at 7pm.
It's nearly that time now.
You blink at the words on the page, astounded and a bit shell-shocked.
You're hardly thinking at all when you pick up the second letter, hands moving with an automaton, detached fluidity.
Dearest Y/N,
The questioning did not go well. I had to act quickly, darling. I was thinking only of you.
Take the Head Auror position and be safe and happy forever. Blamelessly, and knowing you are loved.
Or, meet me at King's Cross Station tonight, at 7:15pm. If you'll have me, if you love me. I'm joining the fight against Grindelwald, for good. I'm meeting my brother and the others at Hogsmeade.
I am horrified that you ever put me over your dreams, and that I gave you so little in return for it. If I could turn back time, I would've done it all differently. I would've made you mine.
My love, you couldn't answer me when I asked you what you wanted today, so I wanted to give you this choice now.
It did not make much sense for me to stay at the Ministry. They were suspicious of me from the start, war hero or not, because of my relation to Newt. You could do wonderful things, have so much more influence than I could. There were no other open Auror positions for you to take but mine, but I can give you this one part of my life, easily. God knows I'd give you the rest if you asked.
I cannot promise your safety, or your happiness, but I can promise to love you, as I do now, as I always have, no matter what you decide. My heart is yours alone. All you have to do is reach out and take it.
Yours,
Theseus
Reading the words on the page, feeling your own breath suck in and whoosh out of your lungs, hearing it, it's all so surreal.
Your heart flutters meekly, wounded at either prospect. But you want to choose yourself. Who has ever chosen you? You need to be on your own side this time.
You glance at the clock and curse. You shouldn't have spent so much time waiting in the Atrium, floating about the Ministry.
"I can't go, I won't go," you decide. "It's too late anyway."
Who knew if you'd even be able to have a real relationship with him? Even if you believed his love for you, and that he was over Leta, and somehow overcame the horrors and traumas of your life that you hadn't begun to confront... who knew if it would work? That would be its own, new, excruciating pain, having loved and it still not being enough...
"I'm staying," you think to yourself. "I am. He doesn't know what he's asking of me, he doesn't really know me at all. I'm staying. I'm taking the position."
At first you thought the words to convince yourself, reaffirm and reinforce. But they don't sound as improbable as you thought. This happiness doesn't sound too good to be true, it sounds as if it could belong to you after all.
You sigh, trembling, and begin to go through the empty drawers of Theseus's old desk, imagining your life, or trying to.
You reach for the bottommost drawer, pulling it open.
The sight of the worn little clothbound book snags your vision like a thorn. You pull it out in a trancelike state and read the title: Garden Parting by P. M. Kipling. The memory rises without you even having to reach for it, like a face in water.
-----
One Year Ago
It was only your fourth week at the office. This bloody idiot named Henry Ludgate somehow came to the insane conclusion that if he talked to you enough, or talked at you, more fittingly, you would like him back. So every one of your lunch breaks, without fail, he'd come searching for you in the Atrium to talk your ear off about nothing at all.
At the present moment, he was trying to strike up a conversation about women's shoewear, a hard topic for even far better conversationalists.
"I actually do like flat shoes, or 'flats,' are they? But I only like the ones with a bit of heel, all the other types of flats are terribly unattractive I think."
You were dimly aware of your boss, Theseus Scamander, watching this all unfold with a lackadaisical amusement. He was leaning against a newsstand of The Daily Prophet pretending to read it, but really you knew his sly smile at the front page was for you.
"So, not flats?"
"Sorry?" Henry always jumped at the excuse of poor hearing to lean uncomfortably close to you.
You rolled your eyes, not caring if Henry saw or not.
"If the flats you say you like have heels, doesn't that make them not 'flat shoes'?" You asked curtly.
Henry stared at you dumbly. "Oh, right. So it's 'heels' I like then."
You flicked your gaze up to his, irritably.
"So how many pairs do you own, then?"
You thought you saw a rustle of paper in the corner of your vision--undoubtedly Theseus was choking back some fit of laughter.
Henry attempted to clear his throat but only seemed to choke, rubbing a half-fist on his chest touchily.
"What?! Pardon me, not for myself!" He was veritably red in the face, not pink or any subtle, healthy flush, but bright red. "I-I meant I like heels on women, on you."
You could barely tamp down your frustration. This was supposed to be a restful lunch break, a good hour of no-work, and yet you seemed to enjoy your actual work more than this (for many reasons, the first reason beginning with the letter T and the last reason being the way the first reason smiled at you whenever you said something bright, or funny, or kind. He had a smile like light cracking open the sky at dawn, it so completely transformed the rest of his face, always reaching his eyes).
"Henry," you sighed, indulgently, maybe a bit patronizingly. "As much as I am grateful for your... fashion tips, and your riveting conversation, I really do prefer to read on my lunch breaks. I'll have to excuse myself."
You turned on your heel before he could protest, finding another secluded corner of the Atrium by the fountain. You pulled out the book, Garden Parting, as more of a prop, or a shield, or a comfort object, like a teddy bear. You had no intention of reading it right now. Not when...
Just as you suspected. You saw the shadow come over your shoulder, the shape of his figure, his hands in his pockets. Even that, his outline or shadow, stirred up some feeling you couldn't name in your chest, in the cavity there, next to your heart.
"Mr. Scamander," you sighed. "I really don't understand what sort of sadistic pleasure you gain from watching Ludgate torture me with mind-numbingly boring conversation."
You said this without turning, already smiling. Theseus sat down beside you, gingerly, beaming.
"It's entertaining," he said. The deep rumble of his voice was pleasant. "The way you eviscerate him. It's my favorite part."
There was something so attractive about the tilt of his eyes, hooded, and the curl of his hair, a strand falling loose over his forehead. He brought his bottom lip under his teeth, bit down and squinted at you.
"Do you really prefer to read on your breaks, Y/N?"
You scoffed, mock-offended.
"Yes! Do you really read The Daily Prophet on yours?"
"No, not at all," he admitted, shamelessly and with a boyish smile. "What are you reading?"
You suddenly felt self-conscious. You almost didn't want to show him. Your book was soft and worn, the cloth corners frayed, the text on the front half chipped off.
Against your instinct and your nature, you found yourself reluctantly handing him the book. Your mortification increased tenfold when he didn't take it from your extended hand, he only stared at it unreadably.
"What-" you began.
"Wait," Theseus turned to his suitcase, set it down on the tiled floor beside the fountain and clicked open the latches. "Garden Parting by P.M. Kipling, right?"
He was speaking so excitedly, shuffling around in his suitcase.
'No way,' you thought, and then, because you couldn't help it:
"Oh, you're kidding," you gasped. "No, Theseus! You're kidding. I swore I was the only person in London with a copy."
Theseus pulled it out at last, victorious. A sleek hardcover, newer than yours, but creased from frequent reading.
"Oh, Theseus!" You brought your hands up to your mouth. You were always worried your emotions, especially excitement, would make it harder to be taken seriously at work. You endeavored to dampen and mute them, but you could not hide your girlish elation at this inexplicable commonality between the two of you.
He smiled at your reaction, a slow, warm smile.
"Who knew you had a secret affinity for muggle literature?" You tried to make your tone teasing and demeaning but couldn't commit to it, you were too surprised by the force of your own joy.
"My roommate at Hogwarts was muggleborn. He gave it to me."
"You carry it with you too?" You asked, still in disbelief.
"Everywhere!" It was a breathy admission, half a laugh, earnest. "I like to reread certain parts. It doesn't get old." He was smiling so big it was almost heart-wrenching, you did not think he had ever looked at you like that, eyes blazing with naked enthusiasm. Looking at you like you were holding some key, to what you didn't know.
"No one seems to know about it," he continued with a shrug. "I've been waiting for someone to talk with about this book since I was sixteen."
"Oh," you kept saying. You wondered if he thought you sounded stupid for it, or if he thought it was endearing. "There's this one part I think about almost every day. In the purple glass house, with the broken arm used to-"
"-To praise God and 'be done with it'?" He finished for you.
Then miraculously, he flipped his copy open, paper fluttering, to a sole, underlined paragraph. The very same.
"It's like we're speaking the same language," He whispered with an incredulous laugh, but his eyes were reverent.
You flashed him a smile, one that was glowing and real. You were holding his copy of the book between you now, like children with a shared toy, or like lovers reading a roadmap.
"What language? English?" You asked sarcastically, making a funny face.
But you had known what Theseus meant. What wavelength of sense that you two, alone, could access. How the world spoke to you both in the same ways, through the same channels of meaning.
Garden Parting was the only object you had from your deceased parents, the only thing that survived your childhood. It was a children's chapter book that your father used to read to you, quite a grim piece of magical realism about a lot of things, but mostly about a girl condemned to go back to her burning house and stay there, inside, until the flames went out. There's no question that it will be swallowed whole, that she will burn to death in the place she was born.
When Theseus spoke again his eyes were shining, perceptively.
"Is that you then?" His voice was subdued, made gentle, intentionally. His eyes looked strangely dark inside the black stone interior of the Ministry, blue like river slate, dim like rain. "The main character, that's you?"
It was the most you'd ever revealed. It was a single, quiet word.
"Yes," you said.
Theseus placed a hand on your forearm. You didn't dare move, react, for fear he would stop touching you. A bird on your windowsill.
"I'll be the great owl then," he said. "The one that takes her away at the end.... Or Reggie, the one that's her friend. Whatever you want."
You laughed, bleakly. You felt pressured to speak, nonsense, anything to cover up how much his words meant to you.
"Really," you said. "It's my favorite book, but sometimes I can hardly get through it, there's so much pain in her life. I get so anxious..."
"Here," Theseus plucked a ribbon from his suitcase and flipped open your copy of the book. He placed the ribbon strategically towards the back, surgically almost, his long fingers lining it up with the interior spine, right in the scene where the owl takes the girl away and there's happiness set aside for her in life, after all.
"I'll mark it with this," he said. Neither of you were looking at each other anymore, the moment was too intimate to bear. But you were both thinking of each other, talking to each other. "So you can remember how it ends."
-----
The memory of that day by the fountain is so unexpected that it is the first time you're remembering it at all.
'Maybe he does know me after all, does see me.'
The thought is a shattering one.
'Oh, god.'
You check the time. It's 6:50pm. You pull on your coat and snatch your purse off the desk. If you leave now, right now, you can intercept him.
Theseus has to know you're coming. Even if you don't make it onto the train, he has to see your face on the platform, through the window, even. He has to know that you're choosing him.
You apparate as far as you're able and begin to run towards the station the rest of the way.
You're coming for him, each pounding step you're coming, heart soaring, this is that freeing love that grows and grows and stretches out into space like air. And you're going to tell him everything, every wish and every nightmare, you're going to--
A hand shoots out and pulls you backward by the neck. The grip is so hard that you taste blood, everywhere, in your mouth.
You yelp but the sound is lost as you are torn through the air, choking through space. Being forcibly apparated always feels like choking, like being pushed down a flight of stairs repeatedly. You can't catch your breath or your footing, you don't know where you're being taken.
Dark material whooshes and cuts around you. You hardly feel a thing.
Could someone at the Ministry have seen the letters left on your desk? Read them? Were you and Theseus positively identified at the gala in Berlin, or maybe outside the mausoleum? Before you've even arrived at your captor's destination, your mind whirls helplessly, to Grindelwald, to the situation at hand, and then, finally, to Theseus, who is waiting at Platform 9 3/4 for a girl who will never arrive, for a girl he will assume is telling him "no."
It happened so fast you didn't even have the time to turn around, to touch your wand. You were apparated away, stolen into thin air, before you could even set foot inside the station.
---
part four here
authors note: yeah i did watch the last letter from you lover on netflix and YEAH it did inspire this fic and rewire my brain at the same time. SORRY this fic ended on a cliffhanger and was so long!! we just had a LOT of ground to cover, but the subsequent parts should be back to the normal length!!
i like writing a mix of smut and romance plot but let me know if you prefer one to the other (also garden parting isn't a real book if that wasn't obvious) OK BYYEEE love you thanks so much for all the replies and feedback :))
also i have yet to read through this for typos so maybe! come back in a day or so for the final version?
taglist: @karashaw99 @gracieroxzy @mystic-mara
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tripod-fish · 2 years ago
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do catgirls go to heaven or do they cross the rainbow bridge
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nomoreusername · 7 months ago
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Smile
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Newt x gender neutral reader
Summary:When Newt notices you hiding your smile he quickly makes everything better again.
I looked into the little piece of broken glass as I thought about what they said. It was only meant to be a joke. I wasn't supposed to actually believe them.
But I did. I've been looking at my reflection and seeing what it looks like when I smile. Despite not caring about their words at first it seemed to be nothing short of true now.
My smile was ugly. It was far too toothy, too wide, too much. I've been trying to find a way to fix it, trying to change it, but nothing was working. It was still so hateable.
That left me with one desperate option. Avoid smiling as much as possible. If I do I try to hide it behind my hand. It looks ridiculous, but apparently so do I when I grin.
"Hey,"Newt said, walking in. I shoved the piece of glass under my bed.
"Don't you know how to knock?"I snapped, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.
"Not with you,"He pointed out. That was true, but right now I can't stand anyone seeing me. Practicing how to smile is a hard thing to explain. Especially, to him.
"Out,"I instructed, pointing at the door. He was visibly confused as he left. I guess I would be too.
"I wish I could fix this,"I sighed, pulling out the broken glass one last time. If only.
♡ - - - ♡
I nodded my head as Minho kept telling his story. It was admittedly kind of funny. I felt myself start to smile but managed to stop it just in time. I covered my mouth with my hand just in case it happened again.
"Are you alright, love?"Newt whispered in my ear.
"Yeah,"I shrugged, leaning back. He didn't look convinced. If anything he looked more concerned. He can't be though, right? I technically haven't done anything bad or wrong.
"Hey. Follow me real quick,"He whispered again, standing up. We slipped away from everyone without a word. Nobody seemed to notice.
"Where exactly are we going?"I asked as we walked away from the others.
"Just trust me. It'll only take a minute,"He promised. I wasn't sure if I believed him but didn't stop walking.
Eventually, he turned by the cliff and sat. He looked back at me expectantly. I joined him.
"It's pretty, isn't it?"He asked, looking at the sunset.
"Extremely,"I agreed.
"It's enough to make anyone smile,"He added. I didn't say anything this time.
"It always made you smile. How come you aren't?"He questioned. I fixated on the ocean below me to avoid looking at him.
"Y/N, how come you don't smile anymore?
"I do,"I mumbled.
"Barely, and anytime you do it's not yours. I want to see you smile from ear to ear."
"Why?"I asked before I could stop myself. I cringed at my words and wished I could take the back.
"Why? What do you mean why?"
"Why do you want to see me smile?"I whispered.
"Because I like seeing you happy, and I know you're happy when you wear that bright, perfect grin."
The only sound for a while was the crashing of waves against rocks. What was there to say?
"You don't think your smile is perfect, do you?"He asked quietly. I didn't say anything which was an answer in itself.
"Y/N, do you remember how we met?"He asked out of the blue.
"Of course I do. You were the third person up in the Glade. I helped you out of the box and showed you around,"I reminessed.
"And do you remember how scared I was at first?"
"Yeah. Alby and I were worried you were never going to leave the box."
"And I might not have. There was one thing though, that told me everything was going to be okay,"He stated, pausing so I was left with a burning curiosity.
"What was it?"I wondered.
"You. You held out your hand and flashed me that brilliant smile. Suddenly, everything was okay because you were there. I didn't even know my name, but that if someone could have such a genuine smile I would be okay,"He admitted.
I looked at him and searched his face for any sign of a fib. Then, I realized who I was sitting with. Newt's a lot of things, practically all of them incredible, but a liar is not on the list.
"See? There's that contagious smile,"He remarked, making me recognize that I was practically beaming. It's so hard not to when I'm around him.
"Now don't you ever hide that amazing smile again. Good that?"He checked.
"As long as I have you then yeah. Good that,"I agreed.
"Good. Do you want to go back to everyone else?"He offered.
I didn't say anything as I placed my head on his shoulder which was another silent answer.
Right there I was perfectly content in that one simple moment. It was just the sunset, me, and the one person who never fails to make me smile.
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majesty31 · 8 months ago
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𝙳𝚒𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 | 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚑𝚘 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
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𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕
𝒂/𝒏: 𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰'𝒎 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆. 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒔𝒌. 𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒔. 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒉𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒎???
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔/𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒎𝒂𝒅 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒉𝒐, 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 𝟑.𝟓𝒌
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It was late, the sun was slowly starting to set, and still the boys weren’t back. At first you thought they were just late, sometimes it happened, where they just lost track of time, most of the time when they found something or when they get lost.
But they have never been this late before. And to make matters worse, your leader Alby was in there also. And everyone knew that if the doors closed with Minho and Ably inside, you would all be screwed.
So when the rain had stopped pouring, you along with every other glader stood at the entrance of the maze, watching, waiting. You bounced on your heels anxiously, your eyes trying to peer around the corridors for a shadow, a glimpse of life. But nothing.
It was getting darker, the doors would close any minute now, and you felt sick to your stomach. You hadn't felt like this since they banished Ben, and if you had to lose Minho too, you wouldn't even want to live anymore.
And if you were being completely honest with yourself, you always had something more than friendship for Minho. You two weren't as close as you would've liked to be, you've talked to him before but that was just because of Ben or Newt. Other then that you two never spoke, he didn't even seem to notice you, always looking somewhere else when you'd speak to him and just act cold towards you.
Which you never understood. You had come up only four months after Minho did, and right at the beginning he acted as if you were a burden to the whole glade. You knew straight away it was because you were a girl but you never called him out about it because you were also a little scared of him. Minho was a big guy, bigger than any boy in the glade. And you knew of his sarcastic banter but he never showed that to you, all you got was the cold shoulder and the blank stares.
But you couldn't help but fall for him, he might have so many bad traits, such as being cold towards you, never paying you any mind or maybe because he acted as if you were some child who everyone always had to look after. But the good ones overtook the bad, he seemed caring to his friends, funny, determined, always thinking of finding a way to get everyone out. He put his life on the line for everyone, and that was something that took a lot of amount of courage and will power.
You admired him, from afar of course. You wanted to have the determination he did, you wanted to be able to wake up every morning with a set mind and heart.
"What if they don't make it?" You heard the new greenie say, his words snapping you back to reality, the reality that this was actually happening, that they might not make it. And that you will never be able to tell Minho how you really felt for him. But you knew he wouldn't even care if you did.
"They're gonna make it." Newt replied, his eyes boring into the maze, searching, hoping. Like you all were. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you heart began to race. It was happening, you were letting your panic slowly take over. And you didn't know if you'd be able to stop it now.
You could feel your hands begin to shake. They just can't die, they can't. You could feel a warm hand on your back, it was Newts. He knew of your feelings for his friend, and you knew he was trying to reassure you but it did little to no help.
You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when you heard that all to familiar sound, followed with the ground rumbling and soon the wind blew back your hair. Finally you let your tears slip when the walls slowly started to grind together.
But then.
"Over there!" Chuck yelled, his finger pointing at the two figures who staggered past the corner, reaching into everyones line of sight. Everyone went dead silent as they all tired to figure out why Minho was moving so slow.
"Somethings wrong," Someone, you didn't know who said. Your eyes widened when you saw Alby slouched over Minho's shoulders, unconscious or maybe even dead. It was taking everything in you to try and keep yourself from screaming his name, yelling at him to hurry the hell up. But you just couldn't keep your mouth shut.
"Come on Minho you can make it!" You were the first to break the silence, yelling as loud as you could and soon everyone else erupted into yells and screams at Minho. You couldn't even hear your own voice over all the noise, but you didn't care.
Dread filled your entire body when he dropped Alby to the ground, but he didn't just leave him like Gally was yelling at him to do, instead he grabbed his legs and started dragging him towards you all.
You stopped your screams, and everything around you seemed to go silent, like background noise. Your breathing was just picking up in pace and your whole body shook with fear. Everyone around you knew he wasn't going to make it, not if he moved as slow as he was. And everyone also knew he would never leave a man behind.
Absent tears slipped from your eyes as you stared at the scene in front of your eyes. Minho looked so tired, but still he dragged Alby as fast as he could, and the closer the walls got to each other the more he seemed to panic. Sweat dripped off his arms, his face and his muscles bulged through his shirt as he dragged Alby.
The more tired he got the slower he became. You could see him slowing down, everyone could. You could feel yourself on the furge of a panic attack, everything was happening too fast but he was moving so slow.
Minho let out a panic yell as he tried to will himself to move faster, but he was just too far away. Your eyes shifted to the walls as a thought came to your head, a stupid thought, a really really stupid thought. One that you didn't let yourself rethink.
"Y/N NO!" Newt yelled right as your feet stepped between the two walls. You kept your eyes forward and your panic at bey as you ran with everything in you to the other side. The side no one wanted to be on, the side that would most likely lead to your death. But that was the last thing on your mind. The only thing you could think about was the boy who you loved, and not letting him die out here alone.
You barely made it to the other side alive, having to push yourself out as the walls closed with a crash behind you. You didn't even have time to think about what you did before Minho came charging at you. His face full of anger, disbelief and fear.
"Y/N what the hell did you do!" He yelled, his eyes wide as he grabbed your arm, pulling you harshly towards him. Your heart raced with adrenaline as you stared back into his eyes. "You just killed yourself! What the hell is wrong with you!"
"I couldn't just let you die!" You yelled back, ripping your arm away from his tight grasp. He seemed taken a back by your tone but he regained himself quickly.
"And what? That means you just kill yourself too! What do you think you'll do that will save me? Save us? You know nothing about the maze!" He was so close to you, his tone scared you more than you wanted to let him know, and his words just made it a whole lot worse. You darted your gaze to the ground as they filled with tears.
"Crying isn't going to help us." He might have wanted it to come out harsher but his tone softened. He was right, you didn't know two things about the maze, or how to be a good runner, but that didn't matter, you weren't about to let him die, even if that meant to kill yourself too.
You turned your eyes up into his. "You're right." You wiped your face with the back of your hand as you took a step away from him, which caught Minho's attention immediately, his eyes following your smaller form. "I don't know a thing about the maze, and I might have just walked into my own death, but I wasn't going to let you die alone,"
He didn't say anything, his eyes just staring into yours. And this was the first time he didn't seem cold towards you, the first time his eyes weren't empty as he looked into yours. It made your stomach fill with butterflies, which was so stupid in the situation you were in.
"You don't deserve to die like this Y/N," His words caught you off guard, and for some odd reason made tears well up in your eyes again. You sucked in a deep breath as you turned away, your gaze darting towards Alby, who was limp on the ground.
"We should hide him somewhere," You said, already moving to kneel beside Alby. Your hand brushed over his face, and your heart dropped a little when you saw the gash on his head. But you didn't mention it, knowing why he had done it in the first place.
Minho didn't say a word as he took him by the arm, slinging on over his shoulder. Not knowing what else to do you followed suit, your knees almost bucking with his weight. But you just willed yourself to move even if he was heavy.
After maybe 5 minutes of walking around Minho dropped his side causing you to almost fall over as all of Alby's weight fell on you. Having no other choice you dropped him as gently as you could by the nearby wall.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" You breathed out in annoyance, getting up on your feet as you tired to regain your raged breathing. Minho turned towards you, his eyes hardening but you cut in before he got the chance to speck. "We can't just leave him here. He'll die. We have to put him somewhere. Or hide him-"
"Where?" He interrupted, his voice full of frustration and panic. You had never seen Minho panic before and while you understood you were also getting annoyed with him. He's supposed to be the Keeper of the runners and here he is not using his head and instead using his panic.
"I don't know." Your own voice matching his. Your eyes shifted around, trying to find somewhere out of sight. But he should be the one to know the maze better than anyone, or so you've been told. "You're supposed to know everything about the maze. Isn't there one place you can think of to hide him-" He let out a frustrated groan before he grabbed your waist, pinning you to the wall.
"You don't fucking get it! Take a look around, we're trapped and we aren't getting out of this alive!" Your breathing was fast from the shock and the truth to his words. His face was close to yours, his hands were warm which made shivers run up your spine.
"With an attitude like that, yeah no klunk we're dead!" You pushed him away from you with slightly shaking hands. "Be the shucking keeper Minho!" You yelled. "And lead me."
"You are a shucking builder Y/N! How the hell am I-" A horrifying cry rang through your ears, shutting both you and Minho's mouths as your eyes shifted behind Minho. You couldn't see anything but you knew what you heard and you did not want to meat the creature that made that terrible sound.
"Okay okay, it doesn't matter Minho. We just need to hide him," You were panicking, you could feel the rise in your stomach and your throat. But you had to keep it down, this was the worst place to have a full panic attack, and the wrong person to have it in front. "What about underneath?"
Minho looked to what you were pointing at, which was under the ivy at the bottom of the wall. "Okay okay but hurry, the walls are already changing."
For the next ten minutes you and Minho got Alby safely under the ivy, you didn't know if it would work but you prayed to whoever was out there that it would. You didn't even notice when Minho had stopped helping you, all your mind was focused on was making sure that Alby was safe to leave.
"We gotta go!"
"What?"
"We gotta go!" You felt Minho grab your arms, pulling you up onto your feet. Your eyes darted behind you as Minho dragged you forward, and thats when you saw it.
Your breath caught in your throat as you laid eyes on it for the first time. The thing everyone in the glade feared, the thing no one has ever seen and lived to tell the tale. It was unlike anything you'd ever seen—half-machine, half-monster, with twisted limbs. It's movements jerky and unnatural. Panic rushed into your body like lighting and thats when everything started to feel real. That you might actually not make it out alive.
You could feel your body turn stiff, and your blood turn cold. You thought for a second you were going to throw up, cry or scream. Maybe all of them and Minho sensed it immediately.
"Y/N Y/N no no no." Minho tried pulling you with him but your feet refused to move as you watched the griever turn into another corridor. "Don't do this now. We have to go!"
"I can't do this Minho!" You felt tears burn in your eyes, your breathing was ragged and heavy, and you were starting to see spots. "I can't-"
"Yes you can!"
"No I-"
"Listen to me!" He turned you around to face him, his hands cupping your face harshly, causing your eyes to connect with his. "Look I don't know if you're brave or just brain dead for running in here, but you did okay? So don't panic now, in-fact you aren't allowed to panic now. You have to learn to control it," Minho said, his voice low and dangerous. "Because if you can't, you'll get us both killed. So shove it down you got that. Shove. It. Down."
You nodded into his hands, your mouth trembling and the tears slipping down your face. You were about to wipe them away but Minho did it for you. You would have questioned it but you were far too scared to even think about anything other than death.
"Y/N, we need to run!" Minho shouted, his voice tinged with panic as his eyes widen, looking behind you. Your heart dropped to the ground as you heard it's dreadful scream and mechanical run but this time you didn't wait for Minho to drag you along. Instead you broke into a sprint, hot on Minho's heels.
The Griever's mechanical legs clattered against the ground as it raced after you two. You could hear its heavy breaths echoing behind you, driving you forward with a surge of adrenaline fueled fear.
"We can't outrun it," You panted, your voice strained with exertion as you darted around a corner, narrowly avoiding the Griever's grasp.
Your heart sank as you realized you were trapped, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. But giving up was not also not an option—not when your life, and were at risk. And not when Minho still didn't know your true feelings.
With a desperate burst of energy, you pushed forward, dodging the Griever's relentless attacks with quick reflexes and determination. Every step felt like a battle against death itself, but you refused to surrender.
Your legs burned, your lungs screamed for air, and yet the Griever remained hot on your heels. As exhaustion threatened to consume you, you felt your pace slowing, your steps faltering with each passing moment.
You swallowed hard, your throat dry. The relentless pace was wearing you down, both physically and mentally. The maze seemed to stretch on endlessly, its walls looming ominously overhead.
"We can't stop!" Minho's voice pierced through the darkness, sharp with frustration.
But despite his harsh words, you struggled to keep up, your muscles aching with every step. As you rounded yet another corner, you stumbled, nearly falling to the ground.
"I-I can't," you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper as you fought to catch your breath.
Minho's patience snapped, his frustration boiling over as he turned to face you, his expression a mix of anger and desperation.
"Dammit, Y/N!" he barked, his voice laced with frustration. "Get it together! Do you think the Grievers care if you're tired?" Minho snapped, his tone harsh. "Do you think they'll show you mercy because you can't keep up? No. They'll tear you apart without a second thought. We need to keep moving, or we're dead."
His words struck you like a blow, the harsh reality of your situation sinking in with chilling clarity. Despite the fear and exhaustion, you forced yourself to push through.
"Come on we can lose it down here! The walls are changing, closing! Keep moving, Y/N!"
Heart pounding, you glanced back to see the Griever's glowing eyes fixated on you, its mechanical limbs clattering against the stone floor as it got closer. With a surge of adrenaline, you broke into a sprint. As you ran, Minho's voice became a distant roar.
But then, a plan formed in your mind—a reckless, desperate plan. With a quick glance back, you veered off course, leading the Griever away from Minho's path.
"Come on, you ugly piece of scrap!" you taunted as you drew the Griever's attention to yourself.
Behind you, Minho's voice rose in panic, his yells desperate for you to turn back. But you ignored him.
As you ran, the walls of the maze began to shift and close in around you, sealing off your escape. With the Griever hot on your heels, you pushed yourself, every muscle burning.
And then, with a surge of determination, you made a leap, narrowly avoiding the closing walls as you launched yourself into the narrow gap.
With a sickening crunch, the Griever collided with the closing walls, its mechanical form crushed between the shifting stone. A triumphant roar echoed through the maze as you emerged on the other side, breathless and exhilarated, the sound of the Griever ringing in your ears.
As you caught your breath, Minho's voice reached you, sharp with a mix of anger and disbelief. "What the hell were you thinking, Y/N?" he barked, his tone harsh. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"
Your chest heaved, but you squared your shoulders, refusing to back down. "I did what I had to do," you retorted, your voice tinged with defiance. "We needed to stop that Griever, and I wasn't about to wait around for it to catch up to us. You're not the only one capable of making tough decisions, Minho."
Minho's eyes flashed with fury at your retort, his jaw clenched with suppressed rage. "You don't get it, do you?" he growled, his voice dripping with frustration.
"What don't I get?" you challenged, your own anger flaring as you met his gaze head-on. "Why do you suddenly act like you care huh? Back in the glade you've always acted as if you don't want me around."
Before you could even take a breath Minho was in front of you, with a harsh tug, he pulled you close, his eyes blazing with intensity as he stared into yours.
"Don't you dare say that," he snapped, his voice low and dangerous. "You don't think I care?"
Before you could form a response, Minho closed the distance between you, his lips crashing against yours in a bruising kiss. The anger and frustration melted away in an instant.
Caught off guard by his sudden change in demeanor, you found yourself melting into his embrace, your hands tangling in his hair as you deepened the kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered—there was only Minho and the electrifying connection between you.
As you lost yourself in the heat of the moment, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was more to Minho's harsh exterior than met the eye. And as you and Minho surrendered to the intoxicating pull of desire, you knew that despite the challenges that lay ahead, you would face them together.
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m00nkissedlover · 23 days ago
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・。stress relief 🌼
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"you always had me, you're always shining~"
regulus black x reader | word count: 784 words
summary: you're stressed from class, so your boyfriend helps you relax 🌼
warnings: none!
note: first time writing for reggie (i love him <3) random little drabble that i just had to write! fyi, i'm not completely familiar with all things mauraders and i only really ever dabbled in harry potter. so, if anything seems off or wrong, please let me know! (changed some things w/ my format! got some help with this fic from: @crescenthistory ! (amazing writer btw💕))
you walked into your dorm room and immediately flopped onto your bed, face first. a groan left you as you internally cried about what had just occurred in class. you, yes you, had made a more than embarrassing mistake during potions class today, accidentally mixing up two vials of similar colored liquids and almost turning your seat mate into a newt. professor slughorn was obviously concerned about the mistake, but waved it off as the class snickered under their breaths. no, you'd never recover from this.
a knock on your door pulled you back to reality. you didn't even bother to get up, turning your head to the side so you could yell "it's open!" the sound of the turning doorknob, the creak of the door opening and closing, and the sound of deliberate footsteps filled your ears before a familiar dark haired slytherin came into your field of view as he crouched down next to your bed.
"who snapped your wand in two?" he asked in a sarcastic manner, moving to sit next to your laid out form.
"i don't wanna talk about it..." you grumbled, turning your head to face him.
"oh come on, i bet it's not that bad," he urged, poking your cheek with a silver ringed finger.
"i ruined a potion and almost turned half my class into red newts." regulus had to bite back a laugh, a soft smile forming on his lips as he glanced back at you. 
you heard the sheets rustling and felt regulus's body scoot closer to you. he laid next to you and after a few seconds, you felt his arms encircle you, pulling your head into his chest. this surprised you since regulus wasn't particularly keen on initiating intimate physical touch like this. the fact that he was doing this to make you feel better made your heart warm up.
you wrapped your arms around his torso, gently resting your head on his chest. "so, tell me more about how you almost turned half your class into newts."
"regulus!" you yelped as you felt him pinch your side teasingly.
"alright, alright. i'll stop." he murmured, resting his chin on your head. "enough about me. how was your day?"
"not as eventful as yours, that's for sure." he made that comment knowing you'd playfully smack him in the chest.
"my day was alright. rather boring, but alright. spent most of it at the library. then i spent about an hour helping dorcas settle an argument with barty." regulus said, letting out an annoyed huff, as if remembering the event gave him a headache.
"what was it about?" you asked, knowing that the two always got into play arguments.
"they were playing old maid in the slytherin common room and dorcas accused barty of cheating. it did start off as playful and somehow ended the same way?" regulus mumbled, a look of slight confusion on his features.
"why do you say that? i'm sure the whole thing was pretty much just playful banter." "halfway through the game, barty almost flipped the table...."
"yeesh, sounds like you had a rough day too." you laughed, regulus frowning a little as you reached up to pinch his nose. he let out some weird noise that made you burst into a fit of laughter.
"y/n-" you cut him off by burying your face into his neck, your body vibrating as you continued to laugh.
"it wasn't that funny, okay?" you couldn't even bring yourself to protest, more laughter leaving you as you stopped to imitate the sound he made, only to laugh harder.
though he looked as if he were embarrassed by you laughing at him, it really brought a smile to his lips. seeing you, tears in the corners of your eyes and your stomach hurting a bit from laughing so hard, was probably one of the times he thought you were the most precious, the most beautiful. but he'd never say that out loud. regulus rolled his eyes playfully, scooting over as if to get up.
"if you don't stop laughing at me, i'll leave."
"whaaaat? nooo, i'm sorry. it was just," you paused to laugh once more, catching your breath. "it was really cute!"
"it was not. that was embarrassing."
"whatever you say" you teased, leaning up to give him a little peck on the lips as he pouted. a grin spread over his lips and you could see his ears were still a bit red from embarrassment. "there he is!" you exclaimed, cupping his face into your hands.
even though you both had pretty shit days, you always managed to make one another feel better in the end. 🌼
© m00nkissedlover, 2024
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fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic · 5 months ago
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Good Omens Fic Rec: Wild Hearts
In the idyllic English countryside, far from the hustle and bustle of the big city, two teachers at Willowbrook Hall set out to transform their students’ lives through the world of theatre. But for Mr. Crowley, the challenge of navigating his long hidden feelings and dear friendship with Mr. Fell may prove to be the greatest drama of all.
Length: 145,589 Words
AO3 Rating: Explicit/ Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, Human AU, Romance, Slow Burn
Triggers: None
Read it here, fic by foolishlovers
*Minor Spoilers* Welcome to Willowbrook Hall, or as I like to call it, The Gay and Trans School for Gay and Trans Teens. Come meet professors Mr. Fell and Mr. Crowley, and their colorful cast of teens as they spend the school year getting ready for the performance of a lifetime in the school play. This place has it all: hijinks, dances, costumes, drama, and best of all a cat.
What I really loved about this story was how cinematic it felt. Sure, some scenes intentionally reference a movie (Wild Child, so fun and camp!), but that's not what I mean. The whole thing plays out like a movie or its own TV show. We get big dramatic moments of romance and heartbreak, plus fun ones like a mini makeover, the school dance, and the play. And there is tons of subtle foreshadowing along the way that will make you jump up and down when things come to fruition. It's thrilling and engaging, and waiting for updates when this was a WIP was excruciating because I wanted to know what was going to happen next so badly!
The side characters especially are so much fun! I loved the kids and their side plots. Even though we don’t follow their story directly, we see enough to get hooked. Adam and Warlock are standouts, but they aren't the only ones I enjoyed! Honestly, I'd read a standalone from the kids perspective! The teachers are excellent too. I have a soft spot for Newt, who pops in now and then, always a sweetheart. Crowley could be in the depths of heartbreak and still manage a smile for Newt. All the teachers (plus Nina) don't feel like they're just there. I was interested in them, and you really get a sense of how much of a family they all are. It's a real skill to make side characters as interesting as the main duo.
Of course, the main attraction is Crowley and Aziraphale. They’ll make you fall in love with them all over again. They’re the perfect domestic couple well before they admit anything. So many lovely details about them, from note passing and bets, to their shared bond with Beethoven the cat (aka the best character ever). You'll experience everything with them: the highs of gender discovery and euphoria, and the lows of miscommunication and misunderstandings. What drama is complete without that? Yes, they’re a bit thick headed, and yes, a single conversation could have fixed everything. But where's the fun in that? I'm here for the drama! The pang of heartbreak and yearning makes the reunion so much sweeter! They are wonderfully characterized, and yet still have an air and life of their own. Unique to this story, but true to their characters.
You’ll be mostly safe reading this in public. There are a handful of explicit scenes but you should have enough notice to get away from prying eyes. The sex here is delicious and heart pounding! Plus the way that Crowley's gender fluidity plays into those scenes was very beautiful. There are so many reasons to love this story. It's engaging, cinematic, dramatic, funny, and romantic. This was an incredible achievement and I hope you have just as much fun and I did!
Read it here, fic by foolishlovers
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