#funny little hybrid squid thing

[fountainpenguin]

"He's always running with no one to keep warm. It's like he's flirting with the smoke alarm..." (x)

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New Criminal Experience chapter today!

Chapter 7 - “Freed”

❤️ Read on AO3

💙 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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Mumbo hatches an allay egg. Is that in a wandering trader's job description?

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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Several minutes later…

Egg hatching is a slow, ugly process. It's all kicks and little throbbing membranes visible through the shell. It takes an account creation to spawn a hybrid (and that's a whole theology in itself). Between has 100 dragons (or rather… 99; 98), and it can take days or weeks for an egg to have its turn. The rarer species may not hatch for months- Like the allay eggs. Mumbo kept them in Little Sun, awaiting Doc's green light to bring them to their new home.

The Allay Dragon was still alive last time he went to Crystal Cove. Mumbo holds the egg in both hands (mostly in his lap) as the baby inside pauses for energy. The rough wall behind him presses cold and hard against his head. Each individual block bears against skin. Is it comfortable? No. But is it safe here? … Nah, likely not. Carrie's patrol members could stumble across him at any time. And who knows if there's an enderman on the floor below, studying the ceiling tiles and readying themself to grief the block of their choice? Oh, this could go so badly.

If the allay's a hybrid, then somewhere in the multiverse, this newbie already exists in a form (on some secret little pocket server, dragged beneath Between as though by squid tentacles) that walks and builds and plays.

New accounts draw energy directly from the player who created them, but only on a server. Only while actively engaged. When that borrowed energy withdraws, the new player is left wobbly-legged and bleary. That's when their world fades out around them. They wake here in Between, swaddled in an egg. Born of a dragon. Part human in creation, blessed with lore, concept, and culture from the outside world. Part mob-themed dragon, blessed with a vessel to carry them through life even without a player's aid. Born of milk. Raised in love.

"Shh, yeah, look at you," Mumbo whispers, brushing his thumb across one cracked piece still clinging on. It's like a rose petal in his hand. The membrane pulses underneath. Is that a wing? Yeah, that might be a wing. That can't be right. It would've had to turn over. Maybe it's a foot.

"Not a first-timer," Vee muses, still washing things in the tub. What- Because he's not losing his mind? He'd laugh if he weren't shaking. Yes, well… even amidst new life, there are chores to be done. It's a lot of work, holding a baby and keeping still.

"You neither, yeah? Didn't you sit with ravager eggs 'til one hatched a mob?"

"Yeah, that's how my tribe's always done it. Some try to tame the wild ones that roam the emerald savanna, though."

"Oh, I don't fancy that."

"BigB and I picked ours out together," she murmurs, and leans her head in closer. Mumbo watches her eyes flick across the cracking egg in his hands. He's never felt her breath dance and swirl like this. They've never been this close. Vee lays a hand against his rolled-up sleeve. "Did it stay warm, you think?"

Stay warm. Now, that's the hardest chore of all. Mumbo doesn't answer, tightening his arms around the living, breathing egg. Funny… It even feels more alive now that it's been sparked with life. Are his sleeves enough? Is HE enough? He doesn't have the serpentine body of his mother, with her golden scales and spiky gemstone wings. Mum can wrap many, many times around many, many eggs in her nest of maple twigs and leaves. Wandering traders hatch from dark blue eggs flecked with gold. The allay in his arms is not the first one he's ever seen crack before reaching its final destination.

His earliest days are blurry ones. In Between, his eyes were darkened with lens caps, his body weak and skinless as he suckled and learned to build his own strength. Walking's easy, you know, when you're fed energy from the outside world. With a player in control, you can sprint like the wind, leap with deer, and skid sideways by the rivers whipping down the hills. But walking takes time (speaking takes time; opening your eyes takes time). Dragon milk's the key to surviving your early days. Milk is energy and energy is life.

I hope the allays get by okay on the substitutes I have.

… Ah. Those went over the cliff with Buzz, didn't they?

I wish my mum were here. I expect the Ender Dragon will tense if she sees me getting close. Dragons view wandering traders as neutral creatures; at least, that's what his mentors taught. In fact, that's the whole reason he stood before Impulse when the Firefly Dragon arrowed through the swamp to snuff at them. But meandering through a dragon's territory without upsetting her is one thing, and sneaking close enough to steal their milk is quite another. My own mother won't let me touch her belly gems.

Gah. Hatching is ugly even when babies are sweet little things. And carting them across Between feels like charging across a volcanic coast biome filled with magma blocks and hot sand, even when passing eggs to grateful new parents is the most rosy feeling in the world. Yet despite the danger, you play your role over and over, because it's in your code and it's beautiful. The urge and the journey and the game.

Mumbo stares at the damp, glowing membrane that kicks beneath the shell. Is the baby allay doing all right? While there's no such thing as an egg turning out a "dud" - there are new accounts created every day, after all, and life will spark in a valid egg eventually - a few conditions must be met for an egg to hatch a hybrid instead of a mob. It must be unbroken. It must not be abandoned in an unloaded chunk for more than moments. When hatching time arrives, it needs to have enough headroom. They can't be in your inventory.

And it must be kept warm.

Vee's still waiting for an answer to that question. Are they warm; are they safe; are we raising simple mobs or children who'll be like us someday? He kept the eggs bundled in his satchel. Carrie sort of had them wrapped in the llama blankets. That might have been enough to stave off the chill of permafrost and wind.

But this past hour hasn't been exactly kind to the eggs, so Mumbo draws unsteady breath. "I don't know. We've been running about. I don't know."

If a mob hatches from the egg, the account meant to sync up to this one will take whatever else it can. Maybe not its first choice of species, but there are other options. If you like allay culture, you might try life as a rascal hybrid- They're classed as fey and just as rare. You still get to gather things and hand out gifts. Or if the size and wings were to your taste, vex are an allay's nearest neighbor (biologically speaking). Heck, plenty of allay get turned into vex before long. It's like that for villagers, too; some become zombies, others witches. There's an old rumor that if you're bitten by a llama on a full moon night, you'll wake up a wandering trader, but that can't possibly be true.

"… Maybe it would be for the best," is Vee's tactical reply. What? If the allays are born mobs? Mumbo flickers his eyes to her. She doesn't look at him, rubbing fabric on fabric to peel off a dirt stain. And she's probably right. She's got keen instincts. They keep her alive.

With the soul spawner out of the equation, a newborn allay hybrid is doomed to a life in Between without taking risks. Avoiding danger. Certain biomes. Certain play. Of course, a slain mob won't respawn either, but at least it's… less aware of everything. Itself. The world.

That its mother's dead.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[goosedawn]

//Oh gods, welp, here I go [cracks knuckles]

//Tiny farmer Techno Au,,,, prepare for some future lore cjkhcxk

Timestamps from: "I Became the Mayor of Skyblock" by Technoblade

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(5:39) "I decided to call in an old rival..." - Technoblade

Techno continues on with his life for days on, but finally, he somehow finds his way to society again, seeing that the entire town has been taken over by a tyrant of a mayor. The townspeople called for aid, and from the depths of his cold heart, he decided to help (....what do you mean he only did it so people would buy his potatoes-).

For a bit, he did his work by himself, only getting help from some other living scarecrows (listen, I really like the idea of some scarecrows coming alive [cough] PHIL [cough]), TimeDeo and Jyn (...? Is that how you spell their name?). (Dunno what the process for taking over the mayor would be exactly but,,, chchskdlcx,,,)

But you can only do so much work with... living scarecrows. With a bit of reluctance, he calls for help from SquidKid. And then together they defeat Dante :]

(Also, it's funny to think that the town has a mayor that they've never seen. All they know is that the previous mayor is gone, and the new one is pretty chill. /Lh)

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(6:31) "Is there any way to do the teleport room without just like.. guessing?" - SquidKid

(6:36) "You are like... little baby, watch this." - Technoblade

-

Being tiny has its perks.

"Wait, what do you mean you can solve this maze in an hour or less?"

Techno turned towards the bigger hybrid, crossing his arms as he nonchalantly stared up at them. SquidKid only gives him a baffled look back, their tentacle-like hair slightly sprung up to further show their confusion.

He knows this only because he's known the man for far longer than they've known him.

He knows more personal information than should be shared, somehow finding the other farmer's parent's numbers along with a few other things. He had jokingly pocketed away the parent's number in the back of his mind, although, he had no real plans of ever using it. Well, maybe he had played with the idea of calling SquidKid's parents to dunk on the fact that a wild borrower had been winning their competition, but he ultimately decided not to for obvious reasons.

He knows the hybrid's schedule like the back of his hand, having to work around it for the better part of an entire year. Using that knowledge, he had sabotaged countless of SquidKid's tools, poking small, unnoticeable holes into their hoses and irrigation systems.

And he knows SquidKid's behavior from how they speak to how they express any sort of emotion. Lies were easily debunked from the small twitch of the corner of their mouth as they suppressed a smile, and anger was easily shown from how their strange hair pieces would spike up.

Yet, he can't help but feel slightly at unease in front of them. He supposes it's only natural, seeing that there's a huge height difference between them. Plus, this was practically the first time they've been closer than two fields of length in between them. Well, disregarding the times he's gone snooping around the bigger farmer's place, but that's neither here nor there.

"Squid, look at me," he raises his hand, gesturing towards himself, "I'm tiny, yes?" the squid hybrid nodded slowly, and he pointed at the stalks of tall fern and crop, "to you, this would basically be a wall you can't get through. For me, though...."

He jumped off his perch, tightly holding his trusty bag and sliding towards the flora before easily disappearing behind the thicket and appearing moments later at eye level, holding the stalk of the crops easily,

"It's easy to go through."

SquidKid makes a quiet 'oh' sound with another nod of their head, looking slightly in awe. The amazed look turns to one of confusion again, though, and he awaited their next question with a raised eyebrow, "but... the maze is big, how are you going to get through it all without tiring?"

Techno grinned, lifting a hand to his mouth and loudly whistling. He doesn't hesitate to slide back to the floor as a blur of white fur bounds towards him.

"Carl!" he exclaims, wrapping his hands around the rabbit's fluffy neck and combing through the fur with his fingers. He backs away to pull out a broken-off piece of a carrot, feeding it to the eager bunny before turning towards the astonished squid hybrid with a grin, "my noble steed," he waves a hand towards the still feeding rabbit.

"You tamed a rabbit," they dumbly point out, having to metaphorically pick up their jaw off of the floor.

"Yup, I did. you can stop gawking now," he huffed, "you're going to catch a bug with your mouth if you keep your mouth wide open."

"...And you named it Carl?"

"What kind of question is that?" he snorts, shaking his head, "yes, I named him Carl, and yes he's going to be the one helping me through the maze. Any other silly questions?"

The man stumbles over their words for a second, and he amusedly watches from below, "I- yeah, yeah, you bozo," they finally settle on saying.

"Alright, cool, I'm going to go find the exit now," he turns away from the hybrid, climbing on the back of the rabbit's back, "see you there."

He doesn't give SquidKid the chance to respond, already setting off through the thicket. And he sure doesn't suppress the grin that crawls up his face as Carl bounds past stalks and stalks of crops.

Having distracted SquidKid enough to get away, the bigger farmer had barely thought to ask how they themselves would traverse the maze.

They must have realized soon enough, though, since not seconds later, he hears a strangled yell of his name along with a loud groan.

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Pain, it's been too long since I've written something /Lh

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"(Also, it's funny to think that the town has a mayor that they've never seen. All they know is that the previous mayor is gone, and the new one is pretty chill. /Lh)"

When the townspeople come to greet the new mayor, they come thinking that it's SquidKid who's done everything since it's always been SquidKid going into town and doing the talking- the scarecrows being unable to do so for obvious reasons, and Techno unable to do so without revealing his entire existence.

So when the sheepish farmer calmly explains that he's just a helper of the mayor, they're... rightfully confused. At first, they want to know the real identity of the mayor, but SquidKid wearily tries explaining that said mayor really doesn't want to be revealed. They only conceded when he shakily points to the unknown farmer's territory, most of them getting the message.

Techno is very thankful that SquidKid doesn't take his title and also doesn't reveal his existence.

-

"It would have been so easy for the squid hybrid to just pluck his tiny form from their back pocket and shove the wrathful spotlight onto him.

He wasn't even able to even escape now as he found himself stuck in the hybrid's pocket. The crowd had come quickly after SquidKid had removed the other mayor for him, and he remembered feeling panicked as he stared at the other hybrid. The next thing he knew, he was shoved into their pocket.

He couldn't get out without tumbling to the ground with a splat, and, even worse, the possibility of one of the townspeople pointing him out with gossip-drinking eyes was incredibly high too.

He shakily gulped, greedily taking the air around him as he tried to stay calm. He never liked being near anyone- not even the scarecrows - so the second-hand contact with his past rival was not the finest experience.

"I- uhm," the squid hybrid stumbled over their words, "t-the mayor really would rather not... have the entire town to greet them.."

The crowd hushedly mumbled to each other, and one straggler called out, "well, tell them to come out anyway!"

By the Blood God, he hated this. He shrunk to the bottom of the pocket. This was one of the worst worries for a borrower; he had already been pushing his limit with the scarecrows and SquidKid, but this was another level for him.

"...Uh, well, in that case," he felt SquidKid shift, and a hand brushed over his pocket. He tenses, waiting for the fingers to tug him out and waiting for SquidKid to finally prove that they're not as kind as they look, for them to finally get some semblance of petty revenge.

"You can find them over there." He pauses, confused to as why there's no hand reaching down for him. The words finally dawn on him, and he's both relieved and perplexed to what SquidKid could have meant by that.

But hatever they've done has made the crowd fall unnaturally silent, and so he's at least a little relieved for that too.

The same voice that was brave enough to speak before pipes up, "you mean the ghost farmer?"

....He didn't know that the townspeople had come up with a name for him, but he's suddenly thankful that he's gained enough popularity that people stop and gawk.

"Y...Yes," SquidKid slowly acknowledges the villager, "they were the one orchestrating all of this. I was just helping with the... talking parts," the hybrid is silent for a moment before they burst into a stammering mess,

"And- uh, I-I should take my leave now, b-because I should really h-head back and ch-check up on them," he feels the bigger farmer start to take a few steps back, supposedly away from the crowd, "I'll answer any questions later!"

He has to push against the fabric to keep himself from bouncing around in the pocket as SquidKid starts running. He faintly hears the townspeople shout for the male, but it's muffled through the fabric.

As it starts to seem as if the squid hybrid would never stop running, they finally start to slow down, their breaths coming out labored and airy.

He doesn't speak up for a moment, letting the other regain themselves first. When they finally seem well enough, he speaks up,

"That's the best you can come up with?"

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chKFCHKDSJFSDF oh my Primes, this is so LONG,,,, I have no idea how to write SquidKid,,,, plus, I had no idea how to like,,, oOGHgds,f,, pain.

Anyways, hope you had fun reading ALL of this cchjxcvxkdsf,,,

AAUBHJDUHFJHBFNDKUFHN WENDYYY /POS

i dont have anything to add this is just fantastic,,,,, DEO AND JIYN AS SCARECROWS AS WELL,,, FBJHDKUHSJHHDV,,,,,, i love that techno gets to have Carl still 🥺🥺🥺 and him leaving squidkid on the other side of the maze??? FHJBDJNJKBF

ALSO 🥺 squid protecting techno and not telling people abt him,,,,, aaajfhkdojfh good,, i also appreciate that everyone in the village just has to be like. "the ghost farmer is mayor????... well this isnt the weirdest thing thats happened to me"

SQUIDKID RUNNING AWAY,,,, "ill answer any questions later" djhshhjhjhbhbfhdjhbe

*holds this gently* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i adore

[puppetmaster13u]

Hermitcraft as Mob Hybrids

 BdoubleO: Villager (sleeps every night without fail, yet can be very annoying when they want to be)  Biffa: Iron Golem (the man's skin is pretty much iron man. Plus he's normally pretty chill but mess with his and he will mess you up) Cubfan: Vex (I mean this is obvious: Convex) Docm77: Goat-Creeper (The man is the Goat-Father, and he's a cybernetic creeper) EthosLab: Panda (1, the coloring, 2, he lives in the jungle, 3, I just felt like it) False: Wither Skeleton (Name a more annoying thing to get cornered by- plus tall spooky False. Also, who would want to fight her if she could inflict someone with wither?) Scar: Vex (Another obvious Convex) Grian: Chicken (I mean, Poultry Man. Plus most people think chickens aren't able to fly) Hypnotizd: Evoker (His color palette is perfect and it explains why he had trouble with villagers) iJevin: Blue Slime (Very obvious lol. It would be funny if the others had to deal with kid and baby jevins whenever he dies though.) Impulse: Ghast (S6 War: he made a ghast ball launcher. Plus imagine if he could light tnt from a distance by breathing fireballs, or if he could float freely through the air) Iskall85: Phantom (How many times has the dude stayed up mining for days or perched in his big tree) Jessassin: Pillager (You cannot tell me his skin wouldn't match up with it. I also just like the idea that the reason he’s not around is that he accidentally gets summoned to Raids or Patrols) Joe: Fox (Sweet berries, all of the sweet berries- plus in most cultures they're known for their cunning nature) Keralis: Cave Spider (Look into his eyes- only his eyes. Ignore all the limbs he uses to build, please.)

Mumbo: Enderman (Big tall stick of a man. Plus there’s the added bonus of being able to teleport away from troub;e) Python: Hoglin-Creeper (Nether colors, plus tusks, plus the creeper skin. And I just thought it was cool) Ren: Ravager (Dog/wolf was too obvious, and Ravagers are like the illigers' version of a big dog with horns. And I think the idea of the hermits using his mob form to launch themselves is hilarious)  Stress: Witch (She owns the potion shop, and did you see her on Halloween? She was ready for it) TangoTek: Piglin (Most people draw him with horns, why not tusks? Plus with Toon Towers, people could call him Porky the Pig) TFC: Shulker (He always stays in the caves, alone, and likes being undisturbed. Plus the idea of him just sleeping amongst his shulker boxes being the reason no one sees him half the time is amusing) Beef: Fox (The man is literally making Three Fox Hole, plus I thought I had enough Llama Dad AUs) Welsknight: Vindicator (I just like the idea of villagers being afraid of him, and he's just really nice and chivalrous towards them.) Helsknight: Blaze-Vindicator (He was cloned from Wels, with the power used from blaze rods. Plus the image of him raging and shooting off fireballs, only to get a snowball to the face is funny to me) xBCrafted: Glow Squid (The color palette matches up, plus he seems to have an affinity for that in the sea. I mean, just think about how many times he’s had pet guardians) Xisumavoid: Ender Dragon (I mean, he's the admin- and I like the idea of the hermits being his version of a hoard that he protects) Evil Xisuma: Wither (When he destroyed the server, it was with withermen. Plus the visual bonus of him launching wither skulls is amazing.) ZedaphPlays: Husk (1, his baby zombie trap, 2, he lives in/right next to a desert, and 3, I thought he and Cleo could be buddies with the whole Golf thing) Worm Man: Moobloom (Since we associate him with caterpillars and worms, why not flowers? And he can have dainty little hooves to clip clop around in) ZombieCleo: Zombie/Husk/Drowned (I mean, this was obvious. I just figured that depending where she spends her time she can change between the three. But would go back to a normal zombie when she respawns.)

Did I miss anyone? I’ll post designs whenever I get to it.

[kwrittink]

Ties and Bounds

Pairing: Servant!Reader x Octopi Hybrid!Im Changkyun

Genre: Smut 

Warnings: language, multiple limbs, female oral, description of intercourse, mentions of choking

masterlist

It wasn't fear what you were feeling. It couldn't be, being where you were. You could hear his movements right outside the sliding door, and you tried to pretend to be asleep again, but your body wouldn't stop trembling.

"Curiosity killed the cat," he had once said, and perhaps he had been right but... Satisfaction brought it back, your mother would have told you, if she was still alive. You've always been curious of everything, but mainly about him, Yes, Changkyung was your Lord and the heir of the wealthiest family in the province - despite the mysterious aura surrounding the Im descendants, but he was also your best friend since childhood, the one boy that once approached you telling tales of the sea as if he had seen it from his wheelchair and that you've decided to serve forever, to keep your stolen heart closer.

It took a while to admit it even to yourself that you loved him. It wasn't prejudiced, your mother didn't raise you like that, but saying it would put the fact that it was nearly impossible to be reciprocated, for the hierarchy and his status wouldn't allow. Even more when you discovered the family secret.

One night as you were bathing, Changkyung came alone to the same lake you liked to use for such purposes - it was secluded and shallow, not very frequented for the always cold water - and at first, you wanted to rush and leave, but again, your curiosity got the better of you, and by a corner you stayed, sitting on the muddy lake floor, water covering up your mouth. How could he bathe alone in his condition? Wouldn't it ruin the wheelchair if he tried to go with it inside?

All these questions were swirling in your mind as you watched him undress from your hiding place, heart thrumming quickly inside your chest in anticipation. You've always thought him so beautiful and was unable to stop yourself from staring as he revealed himself fully. It was bad and dirty of you, but at least that image you wanted to commit to mind, his wide shoulders and strong chest, lean but swift arms and big hands, straight waist and strong core and-

Tentacles. Obsidian black, shiny, and soft-looking tentacles, just like from those animals merchants bring - squid or octopus, you weren't sure of the difference -, the ones you eat. The ones that were actually the symbol of the family. How silly of you to think that was just a weird cloud.

Smoothly Changkyun slid down the chair, dipping almost soundlessly in the lake, small sigh falling from his lips as the water covered his lower half. You watched, mouth threatening to gape and choke with water as he submerged himself fully, face illuminated by the moon slowly being swallowed by the clear body of liquid.

Something touched your foot underwater, and you could avoid a loud yelp, but your sudden small flailing did make a noise that warned the young heir of your presence. You tried to keep your head submerged for as long as you could, eyes shut tight and heart hammering on your chest, but a feeling of being stared at made you shudder, peeking your eyes open. Changkyun's silver eyes were staring right back at you from a distance, an unreadable expression in his face. You jerked back a little, unable to keep your gaze firm as your lungs ached for air.

By the short moment you stood straight on the lake and wiped the water from your eyes, Changkyun was gone. Vanished in an instant, the only sign he'd ever been there at all the large stain of black tint tainting the lake, as a means of distraction.

Changkyung never tried to deny it. He'd become more distant for a while as if watching your movements, expecting the outburst of horror, perhaps. Since you never brought it up and continued to serve and care for him as always - only now a little more aware of his true nature - the matter was dropped and you two decided to live as you always had. No, that's not true. There's only one thing that remains: the stares.

You'd never forget those eyes, the moon-colored irises that pinned you underwater like a little prey fish. Normally they were the wood-toned warm eyes you always thought Changkyun had but he was making sure you mind his true colors. His eyes would follow you everywhere once in his sight, heavy and full of untold words. It would make you so much aware of him that, even in your dreams you'd feel that gaze burning into you. Still, it wasn't fear what you felt.

It was yearning, raw, and pure need of him.

Regardless of how wrong would a normal person think it to be - how wrong could it be? To love someone so deeply and yearn for them? -, you needed him, and thought of Changkyun often, nights plagued by that beautiful temptation. You wondered how would his legs - maybe arms? - feel wrapped around your skin, squeezing and caressing you softly, how they would taste, where could they reach. You wanted to be tainted as the water of that lake, painted black and claimed by that man who in every other way owned you.

So as the door to your simple servant room slid open, you were so hyper-aware of his presence - the true presence of him shuffling on the hardwood floor - your body couldn't stop shuddering, awaiting his next actions. Your ears buzzed with the silence in that cubicle, the windless night outside doing nothing to conceal your heart pounding loudly in the chest.

"You're awake," he whispered, his deep voice so near your face but for some reason, you were hesitant on opening your eyes. Underneath the kimono wore as a blanket and inside the nightclothes, your body grew hot. "Look at me, Y/N."

Unable to disobey him, your lids snapped open, meeting Changkyung's crooked smile first, the one that always made him look boyish and mischievous, as he laid by your side. Then, like a charm, you met his molten mercury stare, so unnatural but so seductive. "Hi," he said then, hand reaching to touch your cheek.

"Hello my Lord," you swallowed dryly, voice rough and heavy with the sleep you never managed to have. At your addressing his eyes rolled in annoyance, having forbidden you from childhood to put him in a higher position when you two were alone. That made you smile, straightening up on the straw futon. You noticed the beautiful kimono he was wearing, dazzling black silk dotted with silver details, covering a layer of deep dark blue-hued to black, long enough to cover his... Only then your eyes fell on the mess of limbs behind and underneath him as he sat back, coiling and shining while moving aimlessly over the floor, almost hypnotizing. Your fingers itched to touch them.

"That glint in your eyes has been driving me insane, you know?" He muttered and realizing your little drifting off you snapped your gaze back to his face, cheeks feeling warm.

"I'm sorry Changkyun, it's nothing but a-awe for you I swear, didn't mean to stare-" as you explained, a single tentacle neared your face, breath hitching when it softly touched the tip of your nose. It was a little cold, but nothing as a finger would be if exposed to the chilly night air. As Changkyun saw nothing but deep desire in your face, his tentacle touched your cheek, this time stilling there, the skin as if on the brink of being slick.

"I'm well aware of the meaning you have towards these, my little prawn; I've heard your calling almost every night from my room." His tone was calm, a hint of humor on his voice as if your frustration had been funny to listen to. "Even before that day on the lake you have been tempting me, but now..." Changkyun trailed off, moving closer as you knelt on the futon, the feeling of birds flailing inside of you as his lean limbs neared.

"But now?" You chanced to speak, letting out barely a whisper. A human hand reached out to grab yours, leaning to press a soft kiss to your wrist, looking up with irises glinting as moonlight hit his face. Your whole body felt electrified, never thinking you'd ever witness something so beautiful that close.

He breathed out, warmth washing over your face. "Now I'm sure you want me the way I truly am."

"I love you beyond physical appearances, Kkung." You reassured, watching a smile tug at the corner of his lips at your words, though you didn't mimic his expression, too lightheaded to do more than that.

His lips felt chilly against yours, nothing you've ever experienced before. Your eyes fluttered shut after the initial shock of realization that Changkyun was kissing you wore off, hands hesitantly reaching to grip his kimono. At the feeling of your lips molding into his, the kiss was deepened, his tongue laving into your mouth slowly, tasting you carefully.

As he hugged you even closer you felt yourself floating, arms and limbs enveloping your whole body with delicacy and practically lulling you into his deadly embrace. "Do you trust me?" You heard him ask and only then open your eyes again, realizing you were already in another place - his room. You've never been there and probably would never imagine yourself in that situation, but you didn't feel like looking around and staring at yet another piece of his well-kept chamber, too engrossed with the view of his platinum irises waiting for an answer.

"Always, Kkung." You affirmed, extending your arms to touch him again, this time letting a soft smile loose in your lips to mirror his relieved snicker. Two tentacles slid up your still covered body, snaking around the arms slightly constricting while wrapping around the wrists to keep them in place by your sides as if you were to resist his next advances. Careful hands reached for the thin ties that held your yukata together, nimble fingers soundlessly pulling it open, making your breath hitch as you felt it loose around your body. For a moment, Changkyun looked up, as if asking for permission to keep going but must have seen something in your eyes that made him grin before glancing back down and, with a quick tug, expose your naked body to his sight. Out of embarrassment, you tried to move, but your arms wouldn't budge for the tentacles holding them, only then noticing the ones firmly wrapped around your ankles as well.

"I don't want you to hide from me, that's all," he muttered as if you had asked for any explanation, to what you nodded in understanding but still twitching slightly at his soft touches on the scorching skin of your stomach. His platinum irises met yours again. "Just leave yourself to me, Y/N. I'll take good care of you."  

"I-I know, Kkung... Just-" You breathed out, gaze shifting between his flushed face to the rest of him, the rest of ink-black limbs restlessly snaking behind him. You swallowed dryly.

"What? Tell me what you want, love." It sounded like demand and you could swear his eyes shone brighter as you glanced back.

"Move faster, please." You mewled, thighs wanting to rub together with a need that burned like lava from inside of you. Changkyun seemed to be slightly shocked at your plead, eyebrows shooting up with surprise as he took notice of your state. He was aware you wanted him, but the intensity of it was unknown to him, the complete lack of timidity or even concern for what he would be able to do to you.

Breathing out he felt finally at ease to move forward, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he let himself relax and touch you freely.

The way he touched you felt as if a wave was creeping up your whole body, tentacles enveloping your limbs unrestrained. Tight but with a soft touch he commanded every extremity with ease around your calves and thighs, midriff, sliding further up your arms and reaching your neck, tip of it caressing the sensible skin before twisting around the column, eyes almost rolling back as it slightly constricted your airways. The man in front of you that was watching your reactions with bated breath chuckled.

"Who would think you'd be so responsive to these things?" He muttered, leaning to press his lips to yours again but for just a moment, drawing back to observe his craft. "You look so good like this, my little prawn."

"K-Kkung-"

He didn't need more pushing than that, hands reaching for your chest and feeling the plumpness of your breasts, squeezing at first, eyes trained with awe as he pinched your nipples, relishing on the weak whimper you uttered. Drawn to your skin he leaned, pressing a delicate kiss right in between them, then moving to wrap his lips around a peaked nipple, deep hum contrasting with the high pitched whine that escaped you.

You couldn't think as his tongue laved over the nub with care, couldn't breathe as the other hand left your breast only to have a tentacle replace it and squeeze in its unique way, the tip of it tickling and playing with it in a way that made you writhe, pleased with the sensations. So engrossed about what was happening to the top of your body you didn't notice how his now free hand glided downwards, the limbs securing your ankles parting your legs further and revealing soaked folds and twitching core, begging to be touched.

It was surprising how different his fingers felt on your wetness, compared to yours when you tried to soothe your desire. Gasping, your whole body trembled as his fingertips prodded at your folds and opened them, juices staining his fingers.

"This is how much you need me?" You hadn't realized when your eyes fluttered close until you had to open them to look at Changkyun's face, right in front of yours. Trying to swallow you nodded, noticing his eyes were back to that deep brown you've always known. Diving deeper, he came in contact with your throbbing clit, making you jolt and moan at the needed stimulation, as he started to rub tiny circles over the sensitive nub.

"M-more," you whined, jutting your hips up as much as you could to make him understand what he needed to do. Taking the hint quickly he applied more pressure with his middle finger and you moaned loudly, biting your lip after to try and conceal your noises.

"Don't," Changkyun started breathlessly, so affected by your reactions that his forehead shone with a thin layer of sweat. "I want to hear you." Said, and to prove his point, slid down the finger he was teasing you with to your slit, inserting just the first knuckle and making you mewl with the intrusion.

"Changk-" you breathed in sharply, wanting desperately to be filled. Withdrawing, he lifted his hand so both could see the digits wet with your arousal, his expression awed before he simply popped them into his mouth and - to your surprise - hummed deeply. Immediately after he pushed your thighs even more, eyes with an unspoken resolve as he lowered himself enough to face your core. Your chest heaved, slightly nervous and shy of being stared that way so intensely but you still glanced down, curious to see what he was about to do.

"So pretty everywhere," he whispered maybe to himself, meeting your eyes as he rested his palms on the inside of your legs. "Remember, I want to hear you, love."

Later on, you couldn't remember if you nodded or not, because there wasn't a pause to breathe before he sank in your folds, tongue out immediately seeking your essence in a futile attempt to clean your core, making a further mess of you.

It was bliss as Changkyung ate you out, tasting your heat with hunger and quickly bringing you to a powerful high, all the while grunting and squeezing your whole body. He suckled at your labia with delicacy, savoring the essence that kept flowing from your core at the intense ministrations.

You writhed and wined in dire need of further stimulation, more to fill you and, as if reading your mind his finger entered you again, this time deeper, making your walls spasm around the digit as he eased the entrance for the insertion of something bigger. Growing closer and closer to release you heaved, breathing in a high pitch matching the panting of your master, warm air fanning on your folds.

"Kkung I'm- Something's oh," you whimpered, not knowing exactly what was happening to your body, feeling as if it was going to implode.

"Let go for me, my little prawn. I'm here, I've got you..." He whispered, deep sultry tone the last push you needed to finally climax, body going rigid as the waves of heat crashed inside of you eyes rolling back and lips gaping in a long moan, only to be filled as well, smooth tentacle bathing on your saliva and tickling your tongue while nearby Changkyun gasped at the feeling of your mouth.

"That's it, Y/N. You'll take me so well hm?" Leaning back closer to your face he touched your cheek to make you open your eyes, the lust and awe in his glance coaxing your heart to beat faster. You wondered how you looked like, with him inside your mouth and drooling at the clean taste of his limb.

There wasn't much time to wonder, because next thing there was another tentacle snaking up between your legs and plunging inside of your core deliciously, your walls contracting at the more than foreign sensation that invaded you, not that you'd ever felt something similar, your experience in these matters almost null. On the contrary, you had been taught that this was something that should hurt and burn at least at first, not give you an enormous amount of pleasure as it stretched you out.

Guess the whole situation at hand was different from the norm.

You could still breathe properly even with your neck wrapped around and mouth stuffed. Changkyun had been careful to not choke you with his limbs, only bringing you amazing sensations, fucking your core with care, but at a consistent pace that had you short of breath either way. As he hummed in echo with your moans, you wondered if he too could feel things while inside of you, and by the manner he squeezed your arms and legs or trembled, tweaking and teasing your nipples he probably did get off on you as well.

"I feel it... You're getting closer, right Y/N?" he asked, as his tentacle nudged just that spot that had you seeing starts, nodding quickly as desperation coaxed your hips to twitch. "I can taste it, you smell so good little prawn, I just have to-" His drunk voice drowned as Changkyung leaned to press his face in the crook of your shoulder, breathing in your scent deeply as he pumped faster inside of you, moans reverberating from your throat to his tentacles, till it was so much you felt like finally melting, filled with white lights. Your lover's torso went rigid over you as he took in the scent of your climax, sighing and panting as if he was inhaling the most intoxicating aphrodisiac.

As you started to get down from your high, hands and legs were released and you finally were able to wrap your arms around the man that was still laving at the column of your now free neck lovingly, basking in your bliss as well.

"I was hasty, my intentions weren't this at first," he muttered against your skin after a while, dragging you back from the slumber you were almost falling. He was wrapped around you as well, keeping your body warm and cozy in his hold. "I wanted to ask you to be with me, For as long as we live... Then I'd kiss you and perhaps another day- But your scent..."

"I beg your pardon for corrupting your innocent ways, my lord." You quipped, scoffing softly as your hands cradled his head, fingers busy scratching the scalp. Changkyung purred in response against your skin, snuggling impossibly closer to you.

"There's nothing to be excused, my lady." He muttered back, snickering as your heartbeat sped up at the way he called you. "I will court you properly starting tomorrow, though. It's kind of protocol, a little embarrassing when your husband to be is bound to a chair."

"I don't care for that, never did." You sighed, a smile playing on your lips. "As long as it doesn't keep me from sleeping here, in your arms from now on."

"Nobody has to know that. Even if it did, now you're bound to me, my little prawn." A kiss was pressed to your neck before he sighed deeply, relaxing to fall asleep. You looked to the side, the first rays of the sun lighting the sky outside. The tomorrow he warned about was already there, and you laid right where you were supposed to be.

[hitchell-mope]

(Second film. At cotillion. Part three. After Mal’s been pulled into the water by huma)

Ben: where is she I can’t see her?

Carlos: how long can she hold her breath

Jay: I. I don’t know

Ben: not long.

Evie: what?

Ben: our first date. She thought I drowned. Went in after me and

Jay: you saved her. I remember. Now we gotta save her again.

Ben: I know to oh boy

(Just then the water bubbles furiously and Uma rises from the surface the lower half of her body octopoid and at least the same height as Ursula was during her final battle, perched on her should is Harry. And bound in a tentacle, barely conscious is...)

Ben: MAL!

Doug: Uma stop this now! You’re acting crazy!

Uma (voice booming): oh no dear. Spiteful vindictive

Harry (having the absolute best time of his life): INCREDIBLY LARGE!

Huma: but never crazy!

Uma: now on to business

(She drops Mal into the ocean and begins trying to capsize the boat)

Elsa: time to put that rusty old wand of yours to work headmistress. Children! Jay Evie Jane Ben. With me

Jane: what’re we doing

Elsa: we’re going to stop this boat from becoming the second titanic. On three. 1...2...3!!!!

(They’re eyes all glow and the boat steadies)

Evie: how the

Elsa: the beauty of a crisis. Now Ben. I assume you’re about to do something heroic and foolhardy

Ben: probably

Elsa: try and make sure that nobody gets hurt.

Ben: of course. I might have a plan. Doug is Agrabahn silk shrinkable

Evie (sternly) and Doug: yes

Ben: ah. Ok then how about this

(A flick of his wrist and he’s back in his vk outfit with a few small differences)

Evie: what happened to the jacket

Doug (tired dad mode): and the undershirt

Ben: they’d weigh me down. Jay could you hold this please?

(He hands Jay the crown)

Jay: sure but oh jeez (Ben’s jogging to the railing) wait wait wait

Ben: yes yes yes?

Jay: first of all stop that. Second of all. Here (he summons Maleficent’s sceptre our of thin air and hands it to Ben). Take this. It should help her

Ben: thank you so much woah head rush. Ahem woozy. Hm. All better now

Jay: yeah that’s because it recognises your magic but not you

Ben: I love being a hybrid

Adam: a WHAT?!?!?!

(Ben uses telekinesis to shove his father out of the way into the corridor)

Ben: blow it out your ass dad. Wish us luck. Imma coming honey!

(He launches himself over the side and into the water. Just barely missing Uma’s tentacles)

Doug: his magic will protect him right

Jay: possibly. If not. Hope you like the throne

Carlos (hitting his arm): not funny.

Jay: sorry

Doug: genies can breathe underwater right?

Jay: yes

Doug: Ben has five minutes. Then you’re going in after them

Jay (phoney British accent): as you command. My liege

(Under the water Ben’s swimming to Mal who’s sinking fast. He keeps dodging Uma’s tentacles. Finally he reaches Mal and put her mothers sceptre within arms reach. The moment it touches her hand her eyes open)

(Back on the ship)

Elsa: can anyone see them and Dizzy please stop throwing canapés at Uma

Dizzy (conspicuously giving Merida the food): it was Merida (innocent giggle)

Elsa: remember that I have a younger sister.

Doug: Hook seems to be having some sort of religious experience up there

Evie: yeah. He sorta reminds of someone

Devie (looking at each other in recognition): Troy McClure

(The waters bubbling again)

Jay: come on guys. Come on. Don’t let her win. Not like this

(Ben and Mal come shooting out of water. Mal’s now a dragon. Ben’s perched on her back laughing and shrieking his head off)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND’S A DRAGON!!!!

Devie: donkey from shrek

(Mal climbs further up into the sky. Ben slips. And falls off her).

Harry: He not gonna make is he?

(Ben plummets through the clouds but pulls up out of it just barely skimming the water)

Harry (fed up): of course he did

(Ben shoots up into the sky. His clothes melt away. From blue and gold to green. He lands on the railing still sopping wet. Now clad in green skelton leaf)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!! (He strikes a power pose, fists on hips and turns to the others on the boat) that was amazing!

Jay (laughing): wow. You look

Carlos: like Pan.

Evie: HAHA! Harry’s in the drink. Again. (She cackles)

(Harry’s fainted dead away off Uma’s shoulder and crashed into the waves below)

Evie: lets boil him

Jay and Doug: no

Evie, Carlos and Dizzy: aww man

Ben: alrighty then. Anyway.

(He flies up to the girls and puts himself between them)

Ben: This isn’t the way. Both of you know that letting whatever happened years ago influence your actions today won’t solve anything. The best thing to do is to keep moving forward and

Uma: back off flyboy

(She swats Ben away and he gets knocked into a pole)

Uma: c’mon Mal let’s finish this once and for all

(Cecealia vs dragon fight begins)

Evie: and that only took twenty minutes to happen

Carlos: yeah. I woulda thought it’d happen the moment ma turned up not dead

Devie, Jay and Dizzy: yeah

Lonnie: we have to help him

Evie: right. Jay get a ladder. I’ll climb up

Lonnie: no. Not Ben. He’s fine. Look

(Ben’s currently trying to help Mal. Setting up shield after shield against Uma’s tentacles)

Lonnie: I meant the other one

Evie: no.

Jane: we should at least try. It’s the right thing to do

Doug: usually is be inclined to agree but you’ve not seen him in action

Carlos: I say we let it drown

Devie: ditto.

Jay: we’ve gotta fish it-him-out.

Carlos: why?

Jay: because if we wanna get Uma on side then the mollusk has to live. No matter how much he deserves to be lost to the depth

Carlos: I hate it when you’re right

Gil (Boyce quivering): please. Please don’t let him die. Please?

(Carlos looks at Gil stony faced. And relents)

Carlos: have it on record that I WILL stab him at the first opportunity. No matter how much the human golden retriever begs

Jay: so you’re not against Evie and I fishing him out

Carlos: against as in anti harry? Yes. Against you doing what’s gotta be done. Reluctantly no

Jay: love ya C

Carlos (giggling): you are now officially out of the doghouse.

Jay: Melody could you?

Melody (now in a lovely ice blue crystalline dress courtesy of Elsa): yes?

Jay: wow nice threads. Anyway. I have it on good authority that you carry around a certain family heirloom?

Melody: Ja

Jay: don’t know what that means. I’m not danish.

Melody: yes I’ve got my grandfathers trident. So I can help you however you want

Adam: miss Boisen I absolutely forbid you help them

Melody: I do not take orders from you Adam. Never have. Never will. Because I am not part of your staff. I am a student teacher. I am my sisters assistant until such time she graduates. But I am not your employee. So yeah. I’m helping my students. Jay. What do you need

Jay (massive grin on his face): we’re going squid fishing

Melody: where do I aim?

(She juts our her hand and the trident spears)

(At the buffet table)

Vision!Harry: sup losers

V!Ben: oh fuck off you no handed blunder

V!Harry: two hands. Numbnuts

V!Ben: keep talking. See what happens. I would love to dismantle you like a Lego Death Star and immolate your bones with you skin still on them

V!Harry: and the bitch says Uma means nothing to her

V!Ben: no. It’s the island Mal doesn’t care about. If Uma meant nothing to Mal. I’d still be jay.

V!Lonnie: ok I’m completely lost

V!Doug: we change when the closest person to our one changed. I used to be Evie. Tall ghostly pale and terrifying used to be Gil. And our “esteemed” leader. Used to be jay.

V!Carlos (smugly): I’ve always been like this

The other soul guides (sans Lonnie): yippee for you

(V!Carlos smiles indulgently)

(Back to the action at the railing)

Jay: so you’re sure you know how to do this without killing Uma?

Melody: oh my friend. With a fun and grin it works fine

Jay: what

Melody: yes. Yes I do know how to do this without hurting my second cousin

Jay: I’m sorry. Did you say second cousin?

Melody: yes. Ursula is my mother’s aunt. That makes Uma and my mother cousins. That makes her and I second cousins.

Jay: I am so sorry

Melody: why would you be sorry? So I’m related to a villain and her daughter. So is Ben. So are you and your little found family. Let’s help your friends.

(She throws the trident in Uma’s direction and it nicks the tentacle that was about to knock Ben out of the sky. Uma bellows in pain)

Uma: WHO DID THAT

Melody: hey! Hey you! Giant scary girl! Listen to. Ben. Or you know, me. Either one will do so

Jay (aside to her): not helping

Melody: yeah thought not

Jay: ok here’s what we’re going to do. Evie. Carlos. Fish the creature from the black lagoon out of the drink. I’m gonna help Ben.

(With that he flies up to where Ben is)

Jay: hey buddy. Need a little help?

Ben (still desperately dodging the tentacles): yes please

Jay: then grab a tentacle

Ben (scandalised): what?

Jay: you heard me. If we don’t do this then the student body will be a human interest story on the news tomorrow morning

Ben: ok

(They dive down and grab one of Uma’s tentacles. Below them in the water Harry’s screaming at them to let her go. Uma for her part does a good job of fighting them off. Mal just hovers there confused)

Jay: and lift

Ben: oh dear

(They fly upwards past Mal and drag Uma along for the ride. Harry grabs on to a tentacle and refuses to let go. But then he slips and lands painfully on the railing)

Carlos: finally. The Hook family line has ended

Harry: I HAVE TWO SISTERS

Carlos: who the fuck cares! Lonnie. Doug. Would you be dears and drags that on to the deck. I’ll get the carving knife

Doug: should we

Lonnie: quiet I don’t think we’re allowed to talk

(They deposit Harry in the deck and Carlos stands over him knife in hand)

Carlos: what do you want me to do Jay!

Jay: keep him there. And E! Keep those force fields up. Otherwise the first thirty rows WILL get wet

Evie: what are you gonna do?

Jay: this (to Ben) DROP HER

(The king and the genie let Uma fall into the water and the impart would’ve reflooded the deck if not for the shields. Unfortunately. This only serves to make Uma mad again. And she channels this anger by ensnaring Ben in her tentacles slowly choking the life out of the king. Jay’s had enough. His body assumes its golden lustre and he flies up into Uma’s face)

Jay: THAT. IS. ENOUGH. YOU KNOW THIS ISNT THE WAY. YOU KNOW THIS WILL ONLY SERVE TO FURTHET ALIENATE YOU. IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE YOU NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE A PETULANT CHILD AND START PLAYING THE GAME RIGHT. OTHERWISE IT WILL BE JUST YOU AND THAT THING THAT IS SPEWING TWICE SWALLOWED SEA WATER ON EVIES MANOLOS LEFT ON THE ISLAND TO ROT

(On the deck Evie jumps out of Harry’s range)

Jay: SO WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE. A TANTRUM OR ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE BRAINS I KNOW YOU HAVE

(Uma’s face silently crumples. She (surprisingly gently) puts Ben back on deck, soaked to the bone and retching slightly from the choking but none the worse for wear, plucks up Harry and swiftly disappears beneath the waves leaving Ben’s ring behind)

Jay: well. That was surprisingly easily handled

(He flies down to the deck and hands Ben back his crown. Mal flaps back down, purple and green smoke surrounds her and she’s back in human form, except her hair’s undone, her dress is purple green and black and she’s holding the sceptre in her right hand. She smiles weakly at the crowd. The promptly spins around and vomits over the side. Loudly. For two full minutes. Jay rushes over to her)

Jay: hey you. Now. I got you a cap of mouth wash. And a breath mint. There you go. Now. (Loud whisper) a dragon. A giant fire breathing scaly ass mother fu

Mal (taking his face in her hands gently to shit him up): I know. I know.

Jay: how?

Mal: that I don’t know

Jay: oooh the sceptre.

Mal: that’s probably

Jay: now. The king awaits. Shall we?

Mal: we shall

(They walk down the stairs to where the series is. She and Ben smile at each other. Then he scoops get up and plants one on her. Carlos, not one to be outdone, scurries over to Jay, dips him and plants a longer one in him. Which gathers an even bigger cheer from the crowd. Especially Gil who can be heard over the others)

Doug: it’s about damn time.

Mal: hey jay. Stop by my room later. We gotta talk

Jay: well let’s see have you talked with Doug yet?

Doug: no. No she has not

Jay: you first then me. Capiche?

Mal: capiche

(On the chaperones platform Fairy Godmother is tight lipped)

Elsa: they’re teenagers headmistress. They will kiss.

Fairy Godmother: oh it’s not that your majesty. I can smell something unpleasant

Elsa (sniffing): you know what. I can too

Merida: it’s rotten skeleton leaves. What our dear little boy king is wearing.

Elsa: Oh. Queen Mother. Your turn

Belle: Ben?

(Ben doesn’t answer, he’s still looking at Mal in reverence, until Mal clears her throat and cocks her head to Belle’s location)

Mal: it seems that your clothes are rotting away dear.

Ben: is everything

Mal: oh yeah. But your shoulders are exposed

Ben: right. Ummmm. Wait right here

(He teleports to his mothers side. When the smoke clears he’s back in his vk outfit. Still without the beanie jacket or undershirt)

Ben: better?

Mal: ooooh so much better

Belle: the tuxedo was so much more

Evie: don’t worry Belle. The silk used is shrinkable. So this is preferable.

Belle: ah. Ok. Now Ben. I and the others adults are going to the yachts bar. Lumiere is going to be here as damage control. But you are in charge. Understand?

(Ben nods emphatically. The four women turn to go but Mal catches up with them before they leave)

Mal: Fairy Godmother. Do you think I could get my spell book back from the museum? Tomorrow I mean. Only that the last few days did a number on me and made me realise I can’t not use what I have. It’s not healthy and it’s not right. Is any of this making any sense to you at all?

Fairy Godmother: of course dear. It’s your property after all. Just say the word and it’s yours

Mal: please?

Fairy Godmother: where would you like it to be?

Mal: Jay’s room. Bedside cabinet. With a protection spell on it so only Ben and I can use it. Because. I have helluva lot to teach him

Ben: I very much look forward to learning from you

Mal: and. I’m sure Ben would agree. Magic classes. For those that want them. I know I would. No. I know that I need to learn more control WOAH!

(Ben’s scooped her up in a bear hug)

Mal: I take it you like that idea

Doug: when you were >ahem< out for the count Ben decided that it was time that magic be fully reinstated

Mal: I LOVE THIS BOY

Belle: I can see that the kingdom will be in very safe hands with you two and you are on his back

(Mal’s clambered onto Ben’s back and she’s stroking his hair away from his face)

Elsa: Queen Mother. I believe this is our exit cue

Merida: aw but I wanna dance

Elsa: the bar has Guinness whiskey

Merida: PEACE FECKERS

(She runs off)

Belle: that was easily handled

(As they’re leaving)

Belle: Verna could you get me the family lawyer please

Verna: of course ma’am. Uhhhh. Heh heh. What for?

Belle: I need to see mr Hartcourt about divorcing Adam and adopting that young man

Elsa: Gil? You want to adopt Gil?

Belle: yes. Problem?

Elsa: none whatsoever. In fact I’ve got an idea I’d like to run through with Ben. When the cotillion is over tomorrow of course

Belle: I assure you your majesty you shall have the full unwavering support of my son and I

Elsa: god save the king and his mother then

Belle: indeed

(Back at the cotillion)

Carlos: alright. ALRIGHT! Everyone. The ones of the hour. My parents! King Ben. Lady Mal. Take it away old man

Ben (laughing): I’m only two years older than you C

Carlos (a “I’m cute so I can get away with it” look on his face): still older

Mal (chuckles as she tilts Ben’s crown): I think what Carlos is trying to is: let’s party

(She uses magic to levitate the electronic equipment above the deck and they all start dancing)

(This is when “it’s time” happens)

[lordsofcorbina]

ALTERNATIVE METHODS. # 2

On top is an old flyer I made a while back for a fly fishing get together.  I used Sam Nixx’s image as an inspiration for us all to think outside of the box.  The dude was way ahead of his time.

I spent last Saturday at the Glendale Fly Faire. I ran into a lot of old friends and took in a few seminars.  Graham Day did a very informative seminar on Euro Style Nymphing.  I learned a lot and am ready to scratch that itch.  I already have an idea to modify it for my own needs and tied up a leader while the idea was still fresh in my head.  I got a big surprise when I saw Michelle Bowman was also giving a very informative seminar on board fishing. It was good to see Michelle, Conway and the keikis in tow.

Today's episode will be about my experience board fishing. 

I started board fishing before I picked up a fly rod. The history of board fishing goes a ways back to the 30′s in San Diego. Guys used their long boards for fishing and a platform to dive from for lobster and abalone.  The simplest way to get started was to paddle out with your rod in your teeth till you got past the surf line and then comfortably made your way out to the kelp beds.

I started off with my standard 9′ long board that works well for quickie trips to the local kelp beds and fishing lakes like Silverwood for Stripers.  As I started making longer trips out I picked up a Bruce Jones ten foot long board that made things a little more comfy spending a day on the water.  Long before the world of stand up became popular if you wanted to up your game for some real paddle range you would seek out a old windsurfer.  These boards worked perfectly as paddle/fishing machines and the price was usually cheap if not free from someone who just wanted it out of their backyard. I picked mine up for 30 bucks.

During the 90′s and mid 2000′s there use to be an annual board fishing tournament held at Wind and Sea beach La Jolla.  I’m not much of a tournament guy but out of all the tournaments I have entered this was the one that I truly wanted to win.  For me, this was a tourney for watermen and one I felt like I was fishing with my peers.

I tried for many years to win this sucker and so when I finally had the blessing of Neptune and pulled off the win (2005) it was extra sweet because I entered that year for the first time with a fly rod.  I was the first person to ever fish with a fly rod.  Most guys fish out in front of Wind N Sea but the guys who wanted to win took off in the dark and made the long paddle out to the North West corner of La Jolla for a better chance at Yellowtail, WSB and Bonita. The only rules regarding boards was it had to be something you could stand up on and surf and you could only paddle with your hands.  Some dudes  tricked out their setups with bait tanks!

Boardfishing made a great platform to chase Calico bass with on the fly. 

It also made it really fun to experiment with flies although Calicos will clobber just about anything when they are on the chew.  Here’s a hybrid squid fly that passed the mustard. 

Pretty funny to have a Calico bass pull you on your board. I lost a tug -o -war pretty badly one time and had a 9 wt rod basically blow up on me. 

A big advantage using a boardfish/SUP over a kayak is your casting position.  Casting a fly rod from a kayak is less user friendly then a flat platform like a SUP because of the position of your feet on a kayak.  It’s just a trade off of if your more comfortable on the water in a yak or on a open platform like a SUP/board.  Either way getting out on the water under your own power is liberating and keeps you in contact with nature in a way that is hard to duplicate by other means of fishing.  Jon

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Imagine that Bucky gets flung across universes after a magical accident of some kind (exact details up to you) and winds up in a world where he and Tony are mer people (species your choice, but I am partial to octobucky). Anyway, MCU Bucky 'lands' in this world over the open ocean and this is bad because he has a metal arm dragging him down anytime he tries to swim. But Mer Tony and Mer Bucky save him, and keep him alive until MCU Tony can haul him home.

Instant Capture

A/N: also for @the-flightoficarus for her 3 word prompt Bucky, Picture, Italy that got me out of a rut, and the winteriron discord server (18+ only) for their encouragement and sprinting with me -- Tisfan

“Back up, just a little,” the man said, holding up the oldfashioned camera. A Kodak relic from the 70s, the device was one of those withthe card of disposable flash bulbs that popped and sparked and were good forone roll of film. Bucky could smell the chemicals as the flash went off; hegrinned wide for the camera.

Tony wasn’t with him; Pepper had called earlier, despite promisingnot to bother them on their vacation, and Tony had kissed Bucky’s cheekapologetically and sent Bucky out to get them breakfast from one of the nearbycafes.

The old man with his camera had implored Bucky -- an Americantourist, even if he’d been to Italy more than a dozen times in the last fewdecades, practically lived there for most of 1952, honestly -- to let him takea photo to remember everything by.

Bucky thought Tony might get a kick out of the ancient camera,might like a photo of their vacation to remember things by. Also, Tony’d givenBucky way more money than they needed to pay for breakfast -- nothing new --and Bucky tended to give the change out to panhandlers and streetentertainment.

“Say addio,” the man said, and while Bucky’s eyebrowwent up -- say goodbye? What? -- he did as he was told. The flash went off. Theman laughed, delighted. Malicious. “Goodbye, Soldat.”

Everything went white.

(more under the cut)

When Bucky didn’t come back, with breakfast, Tony wasn’t entirelyworried. He and Pepper had been video conferencing since ridiculously earlyabout the breakthrough that Wallace had in R&D and the implicationsthereof. It was exciting for him, for SI, but it scarcely fascinating forsomeone outside the company.

But Tony was hungry, and he hadn’t had caffeine, and when hechecked the clock, Bucky had been gone for over four hours, and that wasn’tright. Bucky wasn’t like Tony, not apt to wander off, distracted by the nextshiny object. If nothing else, he’d have texted (Tony checked, he hadn’t) or atleast come back with Tony’s breakfast.

Tony didn’t like feeling like he was taking his boyfriend forgranted -- and he really, really tried not to, but sometimes he still gotdistracted -- but Bucky was still struggling with his Hydra training. The manchecked in. Always.

The fact that he hadn’t sent a wriggle of dismay threading its waythrough Tony’s gut. He snatched up his gauntlet-watch and strapped it on.

“Hey boss,” Friday said in his ear as soon as the wirelessconnection did its handshake.

“Fri, where’s Bucky?”

Stalker 101 or not, Tony was already headed for the door whenFriday reported back.

“Boss, I’m not picking up any signs of him. His phone’s notonline, and there are no energy signatures emanating from the prosthetic.

“Check street cams, footage, back it up, he went out forbreakfast--”

Tony pushed through the door and a manilla envelope fluttered tothe hall of their hotel and lay there on the floor, his name scrawled in blackmarker across the front.

Tony scowled. “Scan it.”

“Not detecting any harmful chemicals, boss,” Friday said, andthrough Tony’s sunglasses, she projected an xray of the contents, a singlesheet of paper and a photograph. Primitive.

“Alert the Avengers,” Tony snapped, scooping up what was,undoubtedly, some sort of ransom demand. “We’ve got an Amber Alert.”

Funny calling the Amber Alert on someone else -- usually Tony wasthe one damselled. Funny, suspicious, not funny ha-ha.

What he wanted to know waswho the hell had their hands on his boyfriend.

There were hands on him. Bucky struggled and something ropy andthick coiled around his wrist, pulling his arm back, keeping him from lashingout. It was enormously strong. Another coil wrapped around his waist, a thirdover his mouth and nose. He couldn’t breathe.

Panic took over and he thrashed. It was wet. He was… wet.Underwater? He forced his eyes open, they stung. Salt water?

A hand touched his face, cold, but gentle. He could barely see,eyes slitted almost shut. He couldn’t breathe. Blue eyes, glowing and kind andweirdly familiar, met his gaze.

“Mmmmph!”

The face was as familiar as his own. Tony, and yet… not. This Tonyhad blue eyes that glowed like the arc-reactor. The light didn’t show much morethan not-Tony’s face. He smiled, revealing disturbingly sharp teeth. Slits inhis throat moved with each breath, showing pale pink flesh underneath. He movedcloser and the thing covering Bucky’s mouth slid aside.

The Not-Tony wrapped cold arms around Bucky’s neck, pulled himselfin, turned his head and slotted their mouths together.

Bucky would never have allowed it, but he was dizzy with lack ofair, he was confused, cold, scared. The Not-Tony kissed him, and pushed…breathing into Bucky’s mouth. Air.

Oh, sweet christ, air. Bucky gulped at it, and the Not-Tonykept opening and closing those slits at his throat. Gills, Bucky suddenlyrealized, and he almost spit out the Not-Tony’s precious gift in his shock andpanic.

Able to breathe, even if it tasted cold and somewhat of fish, andBucky’s tongue cringed away from the sharp teeth, his head cleared a little. Herealized the thing holding him was a cephalopod of some sort -- squid oroctopus, and not attached to the Not-Tony, who had a brilliant red fish tail.

Mermaid?

How the fuck did any of this make sense? Normal people, when theygot robbed while on vacation, lost some money and their passports; they didn’tget flung into some alternate dimension.

Bucky pulled his mouth free, tried to demand answers, got as faras “who--” in a rush of bubbles. The Tony-mer gave him an elaborate eyeroll anda condescending smirk that was so familiar that Bucky missed his Tony with aprofound ache. The Tony-mer held one hand to his ear and then shook his head. Ican’t hear you. I don’t understand.

Bucky struggled to orient himself. The water around them was dark,heavy. He pointed up -- or at least, he thought it was up. For all he knew,they could be upside down. Gravity didn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, thisfar down. However far it was. Wherever the hell he was.

The Tony-mer leaned in and shared his air again.

Mimicked Bucky’s gesture, up. Pointed to his own throat, thenshook his head again. I can’t go up.

Well, this was a fancy pickle. How long until Tony-mer got boredwith this?

Bucky twisted, trying to see the other creature and almostpanicked again.

The monster holding him… was himself.

Only not. The Bucky holding him was some sort of alien, half-man,half-squid. Tentacles, Bucky thought, wildly. Poor Tony’s missing this.He knew it was a squid, two of the long limbs hanging below theBucky-creature’s waist ended in flat, rounded spades, and there were… Buckytried to count, but it looked like Bucky-creature had met with an accident,himself. One of the creature’s arms was missing from the shoulder down, endingin a scarred stump, and two of the ropey arms were quite a bit shorter thantheir fellows.

No Hydra to give him a prosthetic, Bucky thought.

Tony-mer kissed him again, shared air. Despite his solicitous, theentire operation was tedious. How long before even Tony-mer got tired of this?Bucky couldn’t stay down here. The mers couldn’t go up. Two of theBucky-creature’s arms slid around Bucky and the Tony-mer, squeezing and lockingthem together, which was a lot less sexy than when he and Tony had fantasizedabout tentacle porn.

The rest of the Bucky-squids limbs drew in, then pushed off with apowerful stroke, sending them speeding through the water. Bucky tried to relax;they didn’t mean him harm. It would have been easy to just… let him drown. TheTony-mer petted his cheek a few times, one hand behind Bucky’s neck to keeptheir mouths together.

It’s not cheatin’ if I’m kissin’ you, doll, Bucky thought, and wondered if he’d ever see his Tony again.

“This is some next-level Hogwarts shit right here,” Tony said. Hetossed the photograph down on the table, where it shifted and moved like abadly filmed movie. One of those old nature documentaries from the 70s.

Steve picked it up, gingerly. There was no sound, just the movingcreatures in it, what appeared to be a mermaid and a gruesome squid-man hybrid.It was hard to see details, there wasn’t a lot of light wherever they were.

Tony might have dismissed the entire thing, except when themermaid moved, Tony got a glimpse of Bucky’s face, lit strangely from someblueish bioluminescence. Whatever this was, Bucky was in danger. He was wrappedup by the squid-thing, and, what little Tony could detect, the mer-creature waseither kissing him, or biting him.

When Tony could see Bucky’s face, he didn’t look in pain, althoughhe was, justifiably, terrified.

“Where’d you get this?”

“Someone left it outside my hotel,” Tony said. He gripped thetable with both hands, barely able to keep from screaming with rage,frustration, fear.

“He’s not drowning,” Steve pointed out, even as his own voiceshook. Steve had powerful feelings about drowning that might have even beatenout Tony’s own trauma.

“But where is he?”

“May I?” Wanda was always very, very careful whenever she spokewith Tony. They’d come to some sort of peace, but issues of consent were stilla touchy area.

Tony jerked his chin up and down, not even able to talk.

She twisted her fingers over the picture, red smoke and glitterfalling from her fingertips as she worked her magic.

Magic, Tony sneered mentally,then stopped himself. If Wanda could find out anything, any way to bring Buckyback, he’d give the whole magicphobia a rest. Probably.

Maybe.

“Oh,” she said. “Um… the man who did this had a personal grudgeagainst the Winter Soldier. This film is absolutely saturated by his hatred andglee. His… father? A defecting… oh. A sorcerer. Like Strange, but not asstrong. He passed down… artifacts, to his son. The Winter Soldier killed theman. But the boy grew up and learned to use them.”

“So?” Steve said, and Tony was grateful, because he didn’t knowhow to ask. “What do we do?”

“We get the artifact,” Wanda said. “Something like this? We shouldbe able to just reverse it, once we have the… it’s probably a camera.”

Bucky didn’t know where they were taking him, but he wasexhausted. He couldn’t rest, couldn’t think. There was Tony-mer’s mouth on him,the cold water around them. The movement of the Bucky-monster.

Another thing was moving in the water, a glitter of reddish skinand a swish of water.

Wanda’s face appeared in the darkness. Her dark hair surroundedher like a stormcloud, and she moved her hands, forming streams of red waterand bubbles, and then she reached for him and touched his throat.

The Tony-mer backed off and made an encouraging gesture. Goahead.

Bucky didn’t know what they wanted of him.

The Wanda-creature was… a starfish? Her thick legs hung below herwaist like a skirt. She was naked from the waist up, they all were, but ithadn’t occurred to Bucky that it was an issue, until he was presented withWanda’s full breasts. He blushed, or would have, if his blood had been warmer,but he was so cold, and he couldn’t breathe and the Tony-mer wasn’t moving toshare his air, and Bucky…

...gasped.

There was a splitting agony in his throat, and then water flowedinto his mouth, but it was sweet,  not bitter with salt, not cold, butcool.

“There you are,” Tony-mer said, and Bucky understood him. “That’sbetter, right?

“Where’d you get this?” the Bucky creature demanded, wrapping onelimb around the metal wrist.

“My…” Bucky marvelled. His voice didn’t exactly come from histhroat, it was as if just thinking about the words put them out there. “My Tonymade it for me.” He didn’t bother to mention that it was after his Tony hadripped the old one off him, either, or that the original one had come from anenemy the likes of which he couldn’t possibly explain. No need to share thattrauma with his doppleganger.

“Get on that, fishtail,” Bucky-creature said to the Tony-mer.“Tired of bein’ lopsided.”

Tony-mer made a gesture that Bucky both did not understand, andintimately understood at the same time; whatever the sea creature equivalent offuck you was, a pinch of thumb and two fingers and then violently spreadingthem.

“What happened to… you?” Bucky asked.

Tony-mer looked sober, almost sad. “I might have led him under arockslide. We had to cut the limbs off, to get him free.”

“We’ve been over this, seashell,”the Bucky-creature said. “I forgive you. An’ I deserved it.” He gave Bucky aconspiratorial glance. “Mighta been tryin’ to eat him, but can you blame me?”

“My Tony’s pretty tasty, too,” Bucky said, grinning back athimself, which was sooo weird.

“Obviously, you don’t belong here,” Wanda-star said, breakingthings up with a swish of one hand and two of her arms. “How do we get you backwhere you’re supposed to be?”

“I don’t even know where here is,” Bucky protested. “I wasgettin’ my picture taken, and then I was here.”

“I don’t understand this word. What’s… picture? And how doessomeone take it from you?”

“He’s teaching art class to fish,” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.“Tell me you got something.”

“What? Lemme see that,” Steve said, grabbing for the picture. Sureenough, there was Bucky, using one rock to scrape patterns on the wall on anundersea cavern. Drawing stick figures. He was bad at it, Steve had always beenthe artist of the two of them.

The mer-people had taken him to some sort of cavern, they’dobviously adopted him as some sort of mascot, which wasn’t unusual, Tonysupposed. If a Bucky-doppleganger had shown up unexpectedly around a group ofAvengers, they’d have some sort of centaur-Bucky and making do until they couldfigure out how to get him home, so it was only fair.

Wanda, Strange, Clint, even Scott, had joined in the search forthe wizard with the camera. Tony was on standby, in case they needed thefirepower, but he was too distracted to be away from the photograph for long,so for the last week or so, he’d been watching Bucky get better, down where itwas wetter.

Bucky-squid was almost always with him, a tentacle or arm wrappedaround one of Bucky’s legs, so he didn’t float or drift away. Their version ofWanda had made it so Bucky could breathe.

What they were having problems with, and Tony was gettingdesperately worried about it, was that Bucky couldn’t seem to eat much of theirfood, and salt water wasn’t hydrating him. He was getting weaker, every day.Super soldiers needed a hell of a lot of calories.

“We got it,” Wanda reported. “Clint and Sam are taking turnsintimidating our wizard, so we can reverse the spell, but hopefully they’ll gethim to tell us, soon. Stephen is looking it over, as well. He might be able toreverse engineer it.”

“I refuse to allow the word engineer to be in the samesentence as magicking anything,” Tony said. He was still watching Bucky,who was leaning heavily on his counterpart as he silently explained things tothe various sea-life surrounding him.

“All right,” Strange said, at that moment, striding into the room,his cloak sweeping along behind him. “I believe I have got it.”

“Have you?”

“He exists inside the picture, in their world,” Strange explained,and then Tony lost him because Strange started using words like aethericaltranslocation, and positively charged chakra and Tony was certain those wordsmeant something to Strange, and maybe to Wanda, but they didn’t mean anythingto Tony, and what’s more, he seldom wanted them to.

“Twelve centers of focus?” Wanda burst out, “are you insane?”

“Do you want the ocean to come flooding in? If so, carry onwinging it. I like a little stability in my transdimensional portals, thankyou.”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate both of you.”

“Look, there’s no reason why a Tyrean pattern won’t work,” Wandasaid. “They’re far more stable than you’re giving them credit for.”

“Perhaps, but if we do twelve, then I know at least my six areworking,” Strange retorted.

Wanda huffed. “I can hold up my end, old man, if you can hold upyours.”

“I’m thirty seven,” Strange pointed out.

“What?”

“Thirty seven. That’s hardly old.”

“Did you just… make a joke?” Tony burst in. “You make jokes? Whydid I not know that? Enough, enough, can you do it?”

“Of course,” Strange said. He held out one hand to Wanda. “Anchoryour essence, if you please.”

“Just because you had to do things the hard way,” Wanda said, butshe threw one hand gesture behind her, sending a shimmer of red energy thatgrabbed onto the ground like one of Peter’s sticky-webs.

“Together, on three,” Strange said. “One…”

“Two.”

“Three.” Tony crossed his fingers, hating himself for doing it anddoing it anyway. Tony didn’t believe in luck.

Of course, on his better days, Tony didn’t much believe in magiceither, and look how that was working out for him.

He stared down at the enchanted photograph while Strange and Wandafocused on the magic camera (Tony hated every word in that sentence.)

In the photograph, Bucky’s head jerked up, he turned and for thefirst time, Tony thought maybe he was, somehow, aware of the photograph. Helooked right at Tony. His mouth moved soundlessly, and then he was hugging thesquid-version of himself, then the Tony-mer, and then he swam toward the photograph.

“We’ve got him,” Strange reported, and then-- with a wet splash,the photograph tore in half and Bucky, dripping wet and shivering, was gaspingfor air in the middle of the floor.

“Oh, god, Bucky, honey,” Tony cried, and then he was there, hisarms around his shivering, soaked boyfriend, as Bucky coughed and spluttered.

“I’m okay,” he said, finally, tucking his face against Tony’sthroat. “I’m okay, baby. I’m here, I’m home, oh, god.” And then Bucky was sobbing,clutching Tony tight. “Didn’t know if I’d ever see you again. They didn’t knowhow t’ get me back. Oh, Tony.”

“Honey,” Tony said, seriously, “I will never stop looking for you.Never. Promise.”

Bucky was nodding, and Steve threw a blanket down over him, whichTony used to start rubbing him dry and warm.

“I tell ya, babe,” Bucky said, after a while, “I never, ever wantto go deep-sea divin’ again.”

“Yeah? Under the sea’s not for you?”

“Well, you had a real cute tail, down there,” Bucky mentioned,“but I think legs are to be preferred.”

[eddiethehunted]

On a happy note, what are some of your favorite things about Lance? :3

oh boy 

he loves mermaids

THE SQUEAL WHEN HE SAYS “MERMAIDS!!!” YOU KNOW THE ONE

“i dont need pants. im a mermaid”

he’s an amazing sniper and, as an archer, i have a soft spot for long-distance weapons and characters using them

he has pretty pretty blue eyes and they’re so expressive

sound effects

flirts with aliens at any given time, at all, like, me too??????

“hasta la later, keith” *dances aggressively*

helped pidge find money so she could buy a game she was excited about and also turned into a dolphin-human hybrid to do so. he loves her so much i want to die 

related: he’s probably the best older brother i bet he took his younger siblings to the beach and stayed w them all day and played with them and made sand castles and sand mermaids with them

literally puts his life in danger regularly to save people ???  the explosion and air vacuum thingie scenes come to mind. god he’s so good

that being said he can be kinda selfish (literally manipulated hunk into leaving his lion and coming w him to investigate mermaids just bc he likes mermaids) and i love that about him, i love that he’s not a perfect good boy, i wish the fandom would stop ignoring this tbh tbh

the entire scene in s2 where he was talking abt their plan and like, did amazing imitations. shook his butt. dabbed. literally morphed into a strange galra-humanoid thing for the sake of The Drama™

“that’s the tagline from like six of my favourite movies” lance is a big nerd confirmed

his fucking pickup lines are so funny? they’re so bad they’re good. i’d fall for them lance. i’d fall for them

takes the time to explain stuff when keith doesnt understand, like, they could have easily just made him make fun of keith for not getting the “vol” “tron” thing but he instead explains it 

also good at diffusing situations and thinking things thru *insert that god i wish that were me meme*

*talks fondly about his team and then immediately shits on himself* relatable tbh (but i wish he wouldnt)

god, his insecurities are so real they’re palpable. i think a lot of people can see themselves in him bc of them and that’s really cool

“is…that a cow” “mmhmmm” 

arguably the only paladin with any semblance of fashion sense

AND ON THAT NOTE HE’S A MALE CHARACTER WHO’S SHOWN TO LOVE SKINCARE UNABASHEDLY and that’s not something you ever see in media and as a cosmetician IT’S REALLY COOL BECAUSE NOW LITTLE BOYS WILL WATCH THIS AND SAY “hey lance is cool and he takes care of his skin maybe i should too!!!” like YES LANCE THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING TOXIC MASCULINITY 

the scene w coran and keith outside his door, when he cuts keith off with the buhububbUHBUHUHGBUHG >A

his little “yup” after shiro says the sharpshooter thing

HIS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP W HUNK TBH FRIENDSHIP GOALS he looks at hunk so fondly NEED ME A FREAQUE LIKE THAT

*beautifully emerges from a coma to shoot someone, smirks, falls back into a coma beautifully*

also flirts w allura to hide the fact that he’s genuinely concerned about their situation that’s a big mood

flirts the moment he emerges from a fucking coma

flirts. so much. he’s always flirting i love that boy

MAMA’S BOY♥

when he had a squid on his head and just rolled w it

“this castle has gone apples and bananas!”

this:

edit: i forgot where i snagged this pic from but it was from one of @planced‘s gifsets :)

i coudl go on but for your sake i will stop

[jobethdalloway]

“Um, i don’t know you, but you are headed right towards the grounds, and i don’t have time to explain that i accidentally let all the blast-ended skrewts out of their cages, stop asking questions, you need to RUN” RIZZLES of course

Sundays were Maura’s favorite day of the week. Students were usually milling all over the grounds on Saturday, celebrating the start of the weekend; by Sunday afternoon many had resignedly retreated to the library or the dormitories to finish up homework. Maura preferred to do most of hers during the week and finish up on Saturday, where she could reliably have a lot of space in the library to herself.

Sundays were for recreation, and today she had decided to take her rarely-touched Firebolt for some practice flying near the forbidden forest. The broom had been a gift from her grandmother who somehow always seemed to know what was popular but didn’t keep up with her granddaughter - who would have much preferred a set of brass scales. It seemed rude not to give the broom a try, even though Maura had no interest in using it for sporting or traveling purposes.

She had just sat down to read some more of “Quidditch Through the Ages” on the usually-quiet edge of the woods, when she heard a loud scream. Taken aback, she stood up with her wand in hand to see a brunette racing towards her, long limbs flailing rather ungracefully.

“What on earth–”

The girl grabbed her by the arm and kept up the pace, yelling, “DON’T LOOK BACK KEEP RUNNING EVERYTHING’S FINE HAHAHA.”

Too bewildered to even bother stopping, Maura asked, “Who are you and what in Merlin’s name are we running from?” Nothing from the forest ever wandered out of the safety of the trees, and unless this girl was wildly unstable (which admittedly seemed like a possibility) she never would’ve gone in there to agitate something enough to chase her.

“The name’s Jane Rizzoli and we’re running from Skrewts!”

“What?”

“Blast-ended skrewts!”

“Have you been confounded? There’s no such thing!”

“No such thing! Ho, ho, you’re cute!”

“Really, now!” Maura balked, digging her feet in for a halt. Jane looked at her, aghast. “Have you been jinxed? Did you try some of the mushrooms by the north edge of the forest?”

“Do you not take Care of Magical Creatures?”

“No; magizoology holds no interest or relevance for me.”

Jane grabbed her hand and started to run again. “Okay well Hagrid created these hybrid monsters last year that are some of the most ghastly things to ever exist on this earth, and I may or may not have been inadvertently responsible for unleashing a pack of adolescent ones and they’re headed right this way.”

“Are they dangerous? I left my Firebolt back there, should I-”

“A broomstick?! Why in the name of Willow Rosenberg didn’t you mention that before?! Accio Firebolt!”

“Well, I’m not usually one for flying-”

“Rich kids buying nice crap they don’t need just so people know they’re rich,” Jane muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

The muttering made it hard to hear, but so did the sound of the herd gaining on them, composed of what Maura could only assume were the blast-ended skrewts. Her Firebolt was flying above the animals, just narrowly missing a blast of fire as one of the skrewts propelled itself forward.

“Never mind, just hang on!” Jane said. She jumped on the broom as it flew past, pulling Maura on after her. Maura heard an extremely unattractive shriek escape her as the skrewt in front blasted forward again - but it missed them by a wide margin as Jane vaulted towards the sky.

“Holy Moses!” she crowed. “This thing flies like a dream!”

“I’m sure my grandmother will be thrilled to hear it,” Maura said, her grip tightening around Jane’s waist as she flew them higher. “Could we maybe get a little closer back to the ground again, please?”

Jane dutifully brought them down a bit, then headed for the castle. “Is your grandma really into broom culture or something?”

“Not so much as she likes to keep on top of popular trends,” Maura said. “She gave this to me without even asking if I’d like one, which I don’t because I don’t play Quidditch and I don’t fancy them for travel, either.”

“Yeah, I figured that second part,” Jane chuckled, trying to shift so Maura’s arms wouldn’t feel quite so restrictive around her. “So do you just like to take it out for some air now and then? Seems like a waste to keep a broom like this closed up in a box all the time.”

“I know. I’m trying to familiarize myself with it. That’s why I’ve checked out all the library’s books on Quidditch and-”

“Books!” Jane laughed, swooping towards the castle. “You can’t teach yourself how to fly by reading books, you gotta give it a go on your own! Didn’t Madam Hooch teach you anything?”

“Yes, she taught me that riding is intuitive and I don’t have the–AAH!”

She yelled as Jane made a short dive, coming up on Professor McGonagall’s office. It appeared to Maura as though the professor was trying to pretend she couldn’t see them; Jane waved and each time she moved to get out of McGonagall’s peripheral vision, the professor shifted in her chair just slightly enough to be able to continue ignoring her. She sighed when Jane knocked on the glass and called her name.

“You may wanna get your eyes checked, McG,” Jane said when the professor finally opened her window.

“You may want to check that nickname, Rizzoli, because if I hear it again you’ll find yourself in detention.”

“Sheesh! Okay, professor.”

“Now to what do I owe the pleasure of becoming a stop on the Gryffindor Casanova’s latest date?”

“Date?! She wishes,” Jane joked.

“What happened to your sense of urgency?!” Maura cried.

“Miss Isles!” said McGonagall, looking surprised. “I didn’t see it was you hiding back there!” The presence of a student as serious as Maura seemed to indicate that no shenanigans were afoot. “What is so terribly urgent?”

“You know that paddock Hagrid had of blast-ended skrewts?”

McGonagall’s mouth was a thin line. “Yesss…”

“Funny story, they do NOT like living that close to the black lake. The giant squid can reach pretty far with those tentacles, and he smacked one of the skrewts and they all broke out. And are running rampant near the forest. Just thought you should know!” she called as McGonagall ran from the room with impressive speed. “Wow, she moves pretty quick for an old lady.”

“Should we go back?” Maura asked, looking over her shoulder. “There must be something we can do to hold those beasts at bay until Professor McGonagall gets there.”

Jane redirected the broom back towards the forest. “I tried a freezing spell and stopped a couple of them, and I stupefied a few but there were too many coming at me to do anything really effective. All I could think to do was run.”

“And scream,” Maura chuckled.

“Right, and you were so calm when one of them used its fiery butt to launch itself right at you.”

Maura rolled her eyes but conceded the point. “Ugh, there they are. I’m surprised they didn’t go into the forest.”

“We should send them in there, maybe the centaurs will kill ‘em all, take them off our hands.” Jane shifted to keep the broom straight; Maura was twisting around as if looking something. “Uh, what’s on your mind there, Isles?”

“I was wondering if there was something we could levitate to fence them in until the professors arrive.”

“If Hagrid weren’t off on .. whatever business he’s doing, I’d just go to the cabin for his advice.”

“Does he keep firewood outside? I would think someone his size would have a giant fireplace with giant logs.”

Maura’s assumption turned out to be correct, and before you could say “wingardium leviosa” (but after Maura did), she has transported the logs to the skrewts and managed to construct a crude enclosure for them. “That’s pretty good!” Jane said, sounding impressed. “But you seem to have forgotten the fiery butts thing. One fart fire and your fences are toast.”

“Has anyone ever told you you have a way with words?”

“Why, no!”

“And they probably never will. What was the paddock made of, can we get it?”

“Steel, and no. The squid - which I was in no way taunting prior to this incident - started eating it when I left. Go figure.” Jane saw one of the skrewts starting to smoke, and shot an aguamenti charm to douse it before any wood could get burned.

“Oh, good idea!” Maura said. “Why don’t we act as an emergency water tower until the professors arrive? And why don’t we do it from the safety and non-bobbing branch of that tree?”

“Do you get motion sickness?” Jane asked, steering the broom to the sturdy branch Maura had indicated. She looked quite relieved to sit on it, and Jane joined her. “I’m sure Madam Pomfrey must have something for that.”

“I suppose she may; it’s never been enough of an issue for me to seek any kind of treatment.”

“Mm. So what’s your first name, Isles? McGonagall wasn’t informal enough to say.”

“Maura,” came the reply, as she calmly took her turn dousing a skrewt. “Merlin’s beard, did you say Hagrid bred these things? I thought hybridization of such dangerous animals was illegal - and this must have fire crab in it somewhere.”

“Eh, it’s a hunch. We’ve got a good family friend back in the states who’s pretty fond of magical creatures himself - I think he owns every edition of every book Newt Scamander ever published,” Jane chuckled. “He’d never heard of blast-ended skrewts, and when I described them to him he said he thought they sounded like a mix of fire crab and manticore.” She laughed again. “I still can’t believe you didn’t hear about these last year, I mean even if you weren’t in class with them! Didn’t any of your friends tell you about 'em?”

“No,” was Maura’s curt reply. She didn’t have friends so much as classmates and suite mates, but there was no reason to tell a near-stranger that. To avoid further prying, she deflected: “What about McGonagall’s Casanova comment, care to defend that?”

“She’s exaggerating,” Jane scoffed.

“What exactly is she exaggerating?”

“Heh. I wouldn’t have thought it was in the nature of a Ravenclaw to like gossip,” Jane said, flipping Maura’s house scarf with the tip of her wand - which would have been innocent enough if she hadn’t just been using the wand to spritz a skrewt and forgotten to end the charm. “Whoops!” she laughed as Maura sputtered, using the dry part of her scarf to wipe her face. “That was an accident, I swear!”

“I’ll believe that if you’ll explain McGonagall’s comment.”

“Why do you care?”

“I find you very physically attractive and your personality intrigues me, so I thought I might ask you out. But if you’re a playboy or you only date boys, I won’t waste my time.”

Jane was stunned by the forthright nature of this answer, and Maura wouldn’t have been so blunt if she hadn’t worried that lying would lead to her fainting and falling into an angry mass of skrewts.

“Uh…well, first of all I’m about as interested in dating guys as I am in dating a blast-ended skrewt,” Jane said. “And McGonagall is just being funny. She’s uh… caught me in a couple of um, compromising positions with some girlfriends in the past.”

“Where were you that a teacher would - never mind, I don’t want to know,” Maura said, although her imagination had gone into hyper speed painting a very enticing picture of Jane, sweaty and breathing heavily and STOP, WHAT IF SHE CAN PERFORM LEGILIMENS AND IS READING YOUR MIND?!  "Girlfriends plural, you say?“ Maura managed.

"I mean, not at the same time. I’m .. assuming you wouldn’t be into that?”

“I’ve never given it much thought,” Maura said, growing redder at the bait dangling in front of her mind’s eye. “But I think for now I can say no.”

She was relieved to see professors McGonagall, Grubbly-Plank, and Flitwick arrive just then. Grubby-Plank let loose a long, loud rant of swear words she’d have likely reined in if she’d realized two students were in a nearby tree.

They watched the teachers work for a while, then Jane said, “In case you were wondering, I’m not seeing anyone right now, and I would be interested in getting to know you better in a non-emergency situation.”

There are some things you can’t share without ending up wanting to ask someone on a date, and corralling blast-ended skrewts is one of them.