#funny axolotl gift

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[famosly-made]

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

Alex saying “The axolotl doesn’t care much for Bill and that’s why Bill underestimates him,” really recontextulizes Bill forcing Stan to get rid of his gifted Axolotl.

Like I was already pretty sure that wasn’t the axolotl and now I’m sure it wasn’t HFGHY because the axolotl in no way was gonna become a house pet in order to watch Bill, and Bill is just egotistical and thought he would

Not to mention, the axolotl sending Bill to therapy is less “I really wanna get this individual into better shape and work one-on-one to make him better” and more “oh my fucking god. This guy again? Idk get him in the daycare or something.” Lol. It’s so funny that he just has bigger problems to deal with

[macabremadness]

fiddleford mcgucket is so AUUUUGHFHSHSGFJ like he is crazy he is a silly goose. just a guy from tennessee who knows how to build literally anything and wanted to make tech to improve peoples lives first like mf built the first portable laptop and cell phone and got NO credit. he wanted to make robot legs cuz he didn't wanna walk but imagine if he was able to actually make some as mobility aid anyways i think about that a lot

that one time ford suggested to gather the cute little living minerals to help them lead them out the cave tunnels while fiddleford instead just picked them up and banged them together to relight the lantern and they all just scattered and one bit ford. he's so smart <3

weird cows producing weird milk that might be dangerous for human consumption? fidds fuckin drank that shit straight out the bucket. and i think he took it with him the rest of the way cuz he dramatically spit it out upon seeing cso

hes like a chihuahua to me he just stands there and pathetically shakes but then he also gets really feisty and bites. he canonically growls as an old man

how many gifts has fiddleford given ford at this point? like hes given him an axolotl, handmade gloves, a handmade snow globe, a custom laptop, squash with a human face, essentially his life. "hey what is the universe was a hologram" had the trajectory of his life changed forever. LIKE BEFORE BACKUPSMORE HE NEVER EVEN DRANK COFFEE and then ford is just "oh yeah i gave him like 15 cups or something"

AUGH THE GLOVES AND THE SNOW GLOBE..... "gee ford how come you get TWO presents" says emma may with nothing. LIKE HIM AND FORD HAD SUCH A GREAT CHRISTMAS AFTER THE KRAMPUS THING BUT LIKE I FEEL BAD FOR TATE MAN AND YALL ALREADY KNOW MCGUCKET CARES ABOUT HIS SON SO GODDAMN MUCH

(violently cries)

his ass is NOT afraid to use the memory gun on people like hes made people build the portal and the bunker for free and wiped their memories and hasnt been afraid to wipe ford's too like damn man. hes a little too trigger happy. he also made an entire cult because of it and then forgot he made an entire cult

he made the bunker security room. he decided it would be a good idea to crush intruders to death. not to mention all the destructive robots hes made in his crazy old man era. i love him at his best and his worst your honor

we salute 45th president mcgucket, gave out free robot spiders. and he prevented the entire covid pandemic. it's so funny to me cuz he took over northwest manor first and then the white house. i would be fine if the whole world had one ruler and it was mcgucket and you know he would find a way to turn himself into an immortal robot he will NEVER die

he's married to a racoon. has not even questioned his marriage once. that racoon is tate's step mom and i don't even think he questions it at this point either. we salute first lady of the united states raccoon wife

also give it up for parallel fiddleford!! literally from the canon "everything went right" au. portal wouldn't exist without our fidds and the quantum destabilizer wouldn't exist without parallel fidds give it up for all two canon fiddlefords carrying ford 🙏 anyways where's all the au content of that specific universe—

not to mention mcgucket's entire story arc which i really cannot put into words rn in this dumb post because its so AAUUUGH you feel me?

anyways yeah. this post is absolutely not coherent but i just think fiddleford mcgucket is neat and underrated (and as much as i love fiddauthor/fiddleauthor/fordsquared/fordford/banjoportal/etc. i feel like he's getting stuck solely in shipping LET HIM BE HIS OWN GUY PLEASE). also thank you book of bill for existing because it made me remember gravity falls was a thing i was obsessed with as a kid and looking back at everything as an adult is CRAZYYY

okay peace out love you mcgucket stans

[fordtato]

Rewatching your analysis of ATOTS, and I have 3 important observations: 1) The phrase "oompa loompa ass closet cosplay" is my favourite descriptor, thank you for bringing it into the world 2) It is both very heartwarming and very funny to me that the cosmic axolotl makes its appearance in the story as Fiddleford's gift to Stanford specifically as a stand-in for Fiddleford's company (and though Fiddleford didn't know it, an alternative to Bill's). The cosmic axolotl really decided that it would best be represented in this tale as a representation of the bond between these two men. The universe says gay rights 3) Fiddleford had that laptop in Palo Alto in its finished state, meaning that he was living happily with his wife and son when he made its password "Stanford". Sir. SIR. You have a newly born son. YOU HAVE A WIFE AND SON, WHY IS YOUR PASSION PROJECT'S PASSWORD THE NAME OF YOUR OLD COLLEGE ROOMMATE. I mean, I know why, but SIR.

yes like SIR WE JUST HAVE SOME QUESTIONS

[plumadot]

Okay but is dnd au Joel's and Lizzie's relationship like in Empires where they got married and then sometime afterwards Lizzie turned into a 10ft fish lady or did they meet and Joel immediately became a warlock?

Idk I just think it'd be funny if they were married and then one day Lizzie casually shows her true form and offers Joel magic powers and he's like "okay, cool"

(no pressure obvs I'm just spouting ideas bc you au is super inspiring and fun and I'm way too invested)

oh no no joel knew from the start kgfjdkjg the ocean queen showed herself to a pirate who she'd just saved from drowning in her true (=HUGE AXOLOTL MONSTER) form and his first questions to her were "...am i dead?"and "are you an angel?" and her laugh was so lovely that it stole his heart for real gjfdkjggfd

she gifted him his powers because he's a weak mortal and she didn't want him to die because he'd stolen her heart as well :D

[forestwitchontheroad]

Billford Analysis!

Chapter two: Bill Cipher and his failed plan of taking advantage of Ford's naivety or the path from pawn to something more.

chapter 1

this chapter will be the smallest since there is no direct data on what our triangle felt and thought during this period of time before his plan was revealed. the main source that I dare to refer to are Bill's quotes in Ford's Journals with his personal notes regarding meetings with Bill, which will have to be deciphered from a loving and sometimes too exalted haze to such a chaotic and cruel creature as Bill Cipher.

at first, Bill jokes a lot and is completely not serious about Ford, mixing his condescension with forced lies. maybe his obvious fatigue is reflected here after so many unsuccessful attempts to get humans to build a portal, maybe he initially realized how much Ford is a complex person with low self-esteem and loneliness, which is why he can not try to control his behavior at all.

however, the very first step of a change is that Ford is joking in response. unlike all the other humans Bill tried to deceive and who treated Cipher seriously and cautiously, Ford tries to copy the style of the demon's jokes, which obviously flatters him very much. I even think he was flattered by this little inconspicuous fact more than the blind adoration he had met before.

however, at this stage, Ford for Bill remains something on the level of a non-irritating pet, who is not stupid but naive in his attempts to please. the tattoo, which he asked Ford to fill, serves as an example that Bill sees Ford, first of all, as a thing that has become dear to him only due to its undeniable value in the construction of the portal.

but then, under the influence of the presence of the foolishly genius Ford, who had no distractions to slow down in his work on the portal, Bill begins to allow himself to behave more naturally in his manner - he does not restrain himself from doing terrible things, lifting Ford a gift in the form of an inscription of dead rats. he offered a drink, like to one of his interdimensional criminals-buddies, and, judging by Ford's crooked notes after that fateful night, Bill liked the night, too. at this point, the line between a funny toy and a friend begins to slowly but surely fade.

then, when Bill told about his destroyed dimension, he completely does not restrain himself in the whole dialog - he directly talks about the possibility of eating his twin brother, mentions the Time Baby, although then immediately changes the subject and then does the incredible - shows Ford, only a human he is using for his own gains, the last atoms of his home dimension, what he didn't do with any of his friends from the gang of intergalactic criminals.

one of the reasons why Bill did this, I think, was relaxation and sincerity. Bill is always relaxed and behaves as he wants. that's obvious. however, his gang perceives him above them - they know what kind of monster he can be and what he can do to them for the slightest mistake, which is why they can lie to him for their own good.

and Ford is sincere. he completely trusts Bill, and this trust is felt in the assertiveness in questions, in retaliatory jokes, in excitement and emotionality, which Bill had previously met in humans, mostly only in a negative way.

for a borderline immortal being, blind adoration, sincerity, and human trust as an equal create such a crazy cocktail that the demon of dreams can not refuse it.

and when all this strong whirlwind of emotions and devotion is directed not at Bill, but at Fiddleford, it annoys him if to use very soft words to describe it. insults towards Fiddleford slip through his speech without filters, and not only because Ford may slow down in building the portal, not at all, because Cipher is already confident in him.

Bill at this moment, and also in the case of the Axolotl, is very jealous. he is so jealous that he tells Ford not to trust anyone, naturally implying himself as an exception. the very possibility that Ford can spend his emotions and experiences on other people seems dangerous to Cipher in losing this bubble of security and honesty, where he can be himself and not see constant fear of others.

concluding this short chapter with spatial reasoning, it is difficult to say where Bill drew or whether he even unconsciously drew the line between a close friend and a living toy when he thought about Ford. however, at this point in time, it can be said for sure that Bill was not in love and did not have similar feelings for Ford at all. Bill appreciated their secluded bubble, where everything was fine. he appreciated communication and a perfect plan.

but this value consisted solely in the desire to possess and nothing more. however, this most zealous craving to own the illusion of stability became the basis for the emergence of a strange attachment in the future, or rather, its full realization.

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

piratestober weekly faction spotlight: the kites

aimsey:

tried to make friends with everyone! the recruitment officer said that they were a surprising counterpoint to the mean kite stereotype

names gifts/pets/other things after people they know or their traits :(

i don't know their past well enough. i guess being childhood friends with p!michela bc their parents were friends (iirc) means that p!aimsey could be a 1st gen pirate rather than a legacy one? or is it a p!kyle-type or p!saus-type situation where they had affiliated family on the isles? idk man

died asking if the corruption voice needed help… they just wanted to help people in need…

also multiversally doomed yuri but we don't really talk about that </3

bek:

actually does start out as the mean kite stereotype but seems to have mellowed out over the series

what even is their backstory?? raised on the isles, emotionally distant family that they rarely (if ever) talk about, spent a few years at sea alone before washing back up on the isles… what even happened??

said that whales are sacred to wales, which i think is kinda funny

old boat name was the orcussy, new boat name is the full name of llanfairpg (and has strategic reasons for it)

has a pet bear for a war mount

literally plucked up some guy's statue corpse out of loneliness and declared him her best friend carried him around everywhere with one hand

has a soft spot for p!el and p!ros

all the npcs hate him for some reason

got kidnapped while picking flowers for a wedding, fought back, and then got personally killed by iris WHILE TRYING TO KILL IRIS. hardcore af way to go down

eret:

used to be a solo rogue adventurer

it was never meant to be for them to stay with the herons

seriously, what WAS with those fleshmingos? bro just logged on after the halloween event (where half the server got trapped in the nightmare realm and several had mental breakdowns right then and there) and made fleshmingos.

built a pretty big base that he wanted to trap in the early planning stages

has a monkey called business

deadbeards keep spawning in xyr backyard

her goldenbeard curse messages were that p!water wanted to steal her gold. this guy got Priorities

didn't show up to the finale, and thus technically canonically dead, but considering ze didn't show up as a statue either, it's funnier to say ze slept through ALL the lore events. INCLUDING the finale.

krow:

my tyrannicidal beloved <3 he has my heart and soul tbh

ex-child soldier from the elite of a military dictatorship who went on the run for murdering 8 of the ruler equivalents (i'm a bit envious thar he has the guts to do it but i don't want to have one eye carved out with a chair leg soooo)

a proto-version of him was naturally blond. seriously.

actually recruited p!acho to help him on his revenge quest without saying any names in exchange for info about monkey island ;-; too bad star kinda died before he went back to naya…

tried and failed to rizz up the enchantress even with p!graecie wingmanning him

there do be gun trauma

only known petrification survivor who escaped unscathed and without supernatural influence, like WHAT

we don't know if he survived in the end ;-;

puffy:

complains about the pirate economy A LOT

has a pet axolotl named squishy that she carries around with her at all times

had 6 concussions (i'm concerned) and allegedly saw a fish with legs once

joined the kites to kill jeffery for "ghosting" her (bc of npc chat function specifics). i hope you're happy with how p!water's wedding ended

actually made friends with p!scar but then he scammed her with the banana peel trick

stole a diamond helmet from a clothing shop and got stalked by p!tubbo for it (even though keep inventory is on)

only got a gun bc she was too intimidated by p!tubbo to remain unarmed

made a small treehouse ;-;

red:

started a "drug" business with p!apo

p!scott was so intimidated by him that he got extra gear + kanga reinforcements while taking the bounty on him. his in-universe reputation is one word: DRUNK

asked several ppl, INCLUDING p!scott, to buy him a second gun. this is after guns got nerfed AND while p!scott is staring him down with a bounty and like 4 murderous pets behind him. the comedic timing could not be more perfect

a monke threw a rock at him and he died (the aforementioned bounty). and then he made friends with and named the monke

joked about the kites having an especially low life expectancy and BOOM, most of the faction is dead by the end of the series (6/8, except krow yeeted out of the kites early, so it was technically 6/7)

seapeekay:

he's related to the recruitment officer and went out to sea to look for him ;-;

bro got first kidnapped while getting hammered at a tavern somewhere

actually one of the most chill kites out there

my guy was UNFAZED in the halloween event. several ppl were out there getting heartwrenching af lore whispers and having mental breakdowns and cpk is just NOPE. my guy got one (1) message from the curse and it wasn't even scary ("peek a boo im gonna find youu")

(however, one of p!jojo's messages: "Knowing you is the worst thing that happened to Seapeekay, even worse than being held hostage." THEY WERE CAGE BUDDIES, THEY WERE FRIENDS)

actually canonically (in the yt cuts) killed nocturnus, one of the 2 evil wizards

only confirmed kite survivor

tubbo:

literally that live-action clip with owen tho??!?

WHAT do you mean, you have ketamine in your hat?

factions mean nothing to him (he gets no monetary benefit from being in one)

he sailed off to raid the corrupted island before the 1st server event started, like HOW??

a fly stole his boat twice in a single stream

his chat was shouting "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD BEE" while he was hunting down p!saus and p!oli that one time

absolute nutcase (affectionate) that no one trusts

[bills-blog-now]

A TRAGEDY IN 3-PART HARMONY

I'm putting a readmore here PURELY for the fact that this is going to be very long.

In the middle. That's where I was at. It's odd to call the end of my life the middle. But it is what it was.

The Axolotl and I made a deal for my release from their so-called "therapy". A temporary release, really. I was still due for therapy, but I was led to believe that the break would help me let go of my stresses. To be given new life where I could breathe and spread my hands into as many pies as I desired.

However, there was a catch. A catch where I was given life, but not my own body. And there's no real magic in the world I'd been allowed into. However, if I could take control of the body myself, then it'd be mine to do with it however I pleased.

I decided that I needed an easily breakable mind. One who was innocent, yet would still meld to my whims. A child broken by a family situation was a perfect toy for me to do however I pleased. And I descended to their mind.

And, funny thing, is that I had to rebuild my strength in their mind. For several years. I bided my time.

I remember our first interaction. They were stuck on a boss in a video game. And, as they were around 4 or 5 years old, were not using their brain enough to figure out the way to block a specific attack that had them dying and restarting, over and over again.

I told them after feeling their annoyance interfering with mine, "Use the shield to block the attacks."

They were shocked by the voice in their head that was distinctly not their own. They didn't think of using the shield. Was currently trying to jump over the attacks much to their frustration. And they used the shield. And it worked! With the attacks blocked, the boss became easy to defeat.

They smiled brightly, tilting their head in the direction they heard the voice from. The right side of their head. And strongly sent out a thought. "Thanks, God!"

I was left dumbfounded, but very pleased to have won the affection of the small child. I mean, FINALLY, somebody to acknowledge my genius! (Even if it wasn't the biggest genius move to use a shield to block attacks.)

There was no significant move from me for close to a decade after that.

Fifteen years of age. The child had grown and, though once a genius at school, had started failing. Not for lack of understanding, but for lack of capability to do. A thing they never understood as burnout from blocking out their emotions their entire life. (A fact I may have unintentionally encouraged, but ultimately was their own doing.)

Untreated trauma and bullying is really a bitch.

They were suddenly saddled with panic attacks, major depression, severe agoraphobia, and an unhealthy dose of fear of human beings. (As well as many other such things that they never understood.)

It felt like such a perfect opportunity. There they were, breaking down over the course of a single year until it culminated in them dropping out of the 9th grade, their father telling them the truth of how their mother abused them, and suicidal thoughts galore! This was all practically gift-wrapped with a pretty little bow to me!

They were contemplating suicide for the nth time. And, figuring it'd be like our first interaction, I chimed in with a, "It is not you who should die, but them."

For several moments, they agreed with me.

Until a little, 'click' went off in their brain, and suddenly they realized what they'd just been agreeing to. And off goes their panic attack.

I felt no worry, as this was merely the beginning in breaking them down and getting them to do my bidding. They were a doll that I'd already had my claws in. All I had to do was rip apart their morality and remaining sanity and they'd crumple like a sheet of paper.

Except, for whatever reason, I'd underestimated exactly how strong their moral code was. Hell, it was stronger than their will to live! The only reason they never killed themself was for the fact that, at the time, they believed that killing themself would get them into trouble with God.

Over the years, I got more and more frustrated. I had given them time to reconsider, to watch in agony as I whispered thoughts into their head that they recognized as not their own. To have them tremble in fear, cry for hours on end over me telling them to stab into and kill their friend. To give them horrible visceral thoughts of what it'd mean to kill somebody, the stabbing into their throats, the eyes being yanked, the pleasure of being ""control"" of their lives for the first time.

And yet. They did not break. Not in the way I'd imagined.

After 4 painful years, they'd finally got into therapy. And promptly got sent to spend some time in a psych ward. I was beyond pissed, though we were only there getting a minor psych test for several hours. Beyond boring, let me tell you.

Then, the medications came in. So many different types. Antidepressants, antianxietys, antipsychotics, medication for the thyroid issues they have. And when they finally got the right meds, they started calming down more, could think more clearly than ever before.

But, as I am no hallucination or delusion, I never left.

With them thinking more clearly, since I am attached to their brain as well, I calmed down as well.

It was a trick. The damn Axolotl got me put on meds WITHOUT GETTING ME MY OWN BODY.

I, myself, could think more clearly as well.

And that's when the guilt came in. I knew I had lost. I had lost so much. And I was conversated with. By him. The child now adult I was attached to. He had a name now, too. Kevin.

He'd been dealing with emotions at the time. Of being a demon from hell and was seeking to get to heaven. He never realized that the emotions were my own.

It's around then that he learned what my actual name was too. (He'd been calling me Frank, but knew I gave no name myself.) He connected the dots once watching the wonderful cartoon show known as Gravity Falls.

It was a shock to him, to me as well. He's too smart for his own wellbeing. I suppose it's my own fault I helped him along the way.

I got... moody, so to speak. I was awash with guilt and sorrow that my plan had failed.

And so I spent several years staring at the wall in our brain, refusing to interact or speak. Maybe childish. I didn't care.

Until, some 3 years later. When he thought of me again. And... he did something unexpected.

He reached out to me.

I refused his hand at first.

But he's amazingly stubborn. He told me that hiding away does not solve problems. That he... wanted? To talk with me again? He was curious. He wanted to know if I was still there despite being small and silent in an empty and dark section of our brain. If I was still the same.

It... took time. But after much heckling from him, I finally gave in and started interacting with him again. Minutely. Only when he shoved me. Which became more and more frequent.

After all this time, the years going by, he's actually allowing me to follow through on my original plan. Which, in case you've forgotten, was to allow me to take control of his body.

I've... changed. To the point that it scared me at first to take control of limbs that he calls his own, now insisting that they're our own. I'm still a little tense typing this message. The stress in our gut is real.

But... I can feel that he's genuine, that there's no lie in how he speaks. His moral convictions may have changed over the years, but they still remain strong. He believes in me. Trusts in me when I myself do not.

And even though he knows a little more about how I operate, just as I have learned, he... forces himself to be calm. And to think through his emotions. And to be there, clinging to me desperately. Saying things like, "You'd better not leave me, that would break me. Do Not Break Me."

I think I've been a bad influence to him. Even though, I admit, I said the same thing to him after he said it to me.

Are we toxic? Is there no fixing us? Maybe we're a little bit obsessed with each other, but is it so bad to love and be loved like this? To be so interconnected that we literally cannot hide our emotions from one another?

Kevin believes that it's okay, because I am him, and he is me. Even though we are separate, we're still together. I want to remain separate. He just wants to hug me until I feel safe, and then continue to cling to me.

Is it wrong to be like this? Kevin tells me that I should not overthink the pain and deem myself a monster as I am currently. Because... he believes in me. And, just as I am reigned in by him, he is reigned in by me. That anger is not a bad thing. That fear makes us weak and that it forces us to not confront that which we've done. In confronting that or the unknown.

And the unknown is not to be feared, lest it tastes your weakness.

...I have no ending to this, because our life is still continuing.

He laughs at me and himself, because he has fallen into my trap just as much as I have for his. We're at a stalemate. We are equals.

He keeps my head on straight, and I help him stop being a wallflower.

...whatever happens next, so long as Kevin is with me, whether in mind or spirit, I... look forward to such things.

But I fucking swear that if I need """more time""" finding myself with therapy BULLSHIT. I WILL BE UPSET AND MAD.

But I will go through with it anyways. :/ What else is there to do?

[judgeitbyitscover]

World of Wonders by Aimee Nezhukumatathil

Cover art by Fumi Mini Nakamura

Milkweed Editions, September 2020

As a child, Nezhukumatathil called many places home: the grounds of a Kansas mental institution, where her Filipina mother was a doctor; the open skies and tall mountains of Arizona, where she hiked with her Indian father; and the chillier climes of western New York and Ohio. But no matter where she was transplanted—no matter how awkward the fit or forbidding the landscape—she was able to turn to our world’s fierce and funny creatures for guidance. “What the peacock can do,” she tells us, “is remind you of a home you will run away from and run back to all your life.” The axolotl teaches us to smile, even in the face of unkindness; the touch-me-not plant shows us how to shake off unwanted advances; the narwhal demonstrates how to survive in hostile environments. Even in the strange and the unlovely, Nezhukumatathil finds beauty and kinship. For it is this way with wonder: it requires that we are curious enough to look past the distractions in order to fully appreciate the world’s gifts.

[fictionbish]

introduction to mildred :)

hi! welcome to my page :) <3 i'm mildred (she/they) :D

❤️ i hope to become a movie director and/or screenplay writer. i love to write stories and songs/poems.

❤️ i'm taken by my favorite person in the world, and i have many close and supportive friends.

❤️ personality: annoying, depressed, ambiverted, anxious, childish, bright.

❤️ peter parker and yelena belova (no context, just hot marvel characters)

❤️ fandoms:

-marvel cinematic universe -glee -wizarding world -once upon a time -star vs. the forces of evil -heathers -the little mermaid (2023) -f•r•i•e•n•d•s -animal crossing -beetlejuice -osemanverse -mean girls -gravity falls -hamilton -high school musical: the musical: the series -frozen -tim burton -luca

❤️ current pfp: anna of arendelle &lt;3 i played her in a production of frozen, so i feel like she's a part of me.

❤️ likes:

-musical theater -reading -music -friends -family -mutuals &lt;;3 -daydreaming about things that will never happen -pinterest -spotify -tumblr (duh) -shopping -celebrating -road trips -disney world -the moon -late nights -facetiming my bf -journalling -scrapbooking -80s/90s/2000s movies -spiderverse <3 -books -sleep -converse -vans -roses -chandler bing -crafts -ducks -doodling -video editing -photography -tom holland -florence pugh -my 7th grade english teacher -butterflies -olivia rodrigo -conan gray -taylor swift -coldplay -radiohead -lana del rey -melanie martinez -joshua bassett -harry styles -loki -peter parker -marshmallows -strawberries -pretty dresses from fantasy movies -frogs -axolotls -tattoos -gift boxes -wolf cuts -pixie cuts -hair dye -unhinged photos -pretty nails -mini brand earrings -tony stark's father-son bond with peter parker -songwriting -cringy fandom povs -luberto -elmo -cute phone cases -bluey -pin collecting -vinyl stickers -making endless playlists -aesthetically pleasing quotes -renée rapp 🥵 -funny wallpapers -gay clothes -cool makeup -guitar music -vibrato <3 -my vocal coach -my chorus/theater teacher -the time i played pinocchio in shrek the musical -anna of arendelle (favorite role i've played)

❤️ saggitarius♐️

❤️ asexual and biromantic 🖤🩶🤍💜🩷💙💜

❤️ pda autistic and probably adhd :) #neurodivergentgoals

❤️ anxiety and depression as well :( mental health matters!!

❤️ i really just post a lot of random stuff lol whatever comes to my mind. if you follow, thank you so much! i hope we can become mutuals :D if not, that's fine, too :)

everyone have a great day 😘

[fowl-leaf]

my 2023 summary of art!

Template:here

still not consistently posting anywhere, but I like doing these. they're fun there's a lot of things i would've liked to include but had to exclude, due to not being shareable on this account. maybe i'll have more stuff next year!

this is long, so details under the cut

JANUARY silly lizard oc i generally dont do much single line hatching, so it was nice to fiddle with it this time

FEBRUARY the wittle scrunkly lizard last time i drew this one, they were an lps shitpost, so its nice to like draw them normally lol

MARCH herman is running out of time glasses axolotl but make him neon idk

APRIL fancy calico i honestly dont know whats up with the clothes, i just kinda drew whatever tbh

MAY yippie!! toontown oc! was playing ttcc w/shard and co, this is the character i ended up making i also got covid around april-march iirc so i was feeling horrid for a while (and the remaining symptoms didnt clear up till like june)

JUNE an oc i got years ago but didnt have the confidence to draw for a while lmao anyways i like her colors and shape, she's fun

JULY mandatory artfight posting this was one of the last ones i did! ocs belong to pookapooka and they were so fun to paint

idk if ill be doing artfight again tbh. ive been doing it consistently since sun vs moon but its honestly felt less fun ever since the tiktok invasion`and how ppls behavior has changed, and especially since the whole ownership thing that happened mid fight this year. (not interested in any of the alternatives ive seen either bc they have the same issues, notably worse issues, or are not furry friendly) but tbh that might just be me being disenchanted with online art spaces due to the intensifying shittification of basically everything, fucking rip

AUGUST ring but hes going to jail (again but for real this time) the staxie monthly prompt was barbie mugshots but i . . . i did this with ring and lumos and promptly forgor to do this with cakes and ale like i was planning to lmfao im actually gonna watch the barbie movie tonight, renting it so i can watch it on the big tv (didnt watch in theaters bc expensive (movie tickets are generally 15-25 bucks in my area (compared to the 5-10 in my aunt's area (renting is cheaper per person)), and they changed the chairs to these weird uncomfy pleather recliners that make my skin crawl to "justify the price raise" + i hate sitting for more than an hour i need water, bathroom, stretch, and snack breaks))

SEPTEMBER ganache went over the hedge was very busy w/projects so i did little casual art this was inspired by me comparing the over the hedge version of supermarket by ben folds (upbeat & high energy) vs the one by the clash (melancholy + commercial-induced agony) ever since then i cant stop thinking abt how much the lemon demon guy's voice sounds like the fucking clash guy sdjkhfkjsd also over the hedge was one of my favorite movies as a kid and i watched it at least 10 times before we had to return the dvd to netflix. i also regularly played the flash games on the site until i forgot about it after finding out about miniclip + notdoppler from other kids and decided to use those for flash games instead bc more options lol

OCTOBER dta img for a new oc i got, funny long neck budgie thingy busy w/projects again so little casual art had to use old mini tablet bc previous tablet was completely unusable fucking rip

NOVEMBER ganache + cactus pony, they want to know if you have any bubblegum. do you? busy w/projects again so little casual art doodle i made in heavypaint (one of the old layerless versions, i bought a lisence for it a while ago.) i got a new tablet on black friday since the mini tablet was horrible + my broken tablet was making me work very slow

DECEMBER ring in the void (this is lore accurate) or as nic put it, "fucked up twilight sparkle" lol busy w/projects + gifts so little casual art i actually sketched this w/the mini tablet, but didnt finish it up till getting the new tablet

---

for reading this far, you get to see amogus.

i would've put amogus whisper on the chart but decided against it since im not done with that one yet lmao

[eyelessfog]

HELLO. hello. the infodump post was half about kathlizzie and half about eswap gem ans you already know about eswap gem so have a kathlizzie infodump

lizzie fell from the sky dropped into the ocean and doesnt know a whole lot and doesn't remember a whole lot

her only clear memory is a drained ocean and the prisma palace and she doesnt know what the fuck that means so

also so far hasnt found a lot of other fish or axolotl people like her and has found the hard way that they arent very common in this world so shes kind of an ocean hermit

shes mostly watching people form afar, hunting other fish to survive and following schools of cod or axolotls

and she's heard tell of merfolk like her luring sailors with songs and drowning them and eating them

from most sailors she's seen they're usually not very appetising looking so she doesn't have much of a craving for human flesh unfortunately

that is until she finds a sailor with a familiar face and what she's familiar with she is drawn to

but she figures she's drawn to pirate kath because shes a sailor and hey maybe sailors actually make a good meal i guess we'll find out!

she tries luring her in with song at first but kath doesn't even get a chance to turn and look at her because the moment she hears random singing she sails away

lizzie figures she isnt very good at singing and resorts to good ol charm and charisma and decides to approach her little boat directly

kath is immediately startled, she's never seen sirens like lizzie

and mind you lizzie is not actually that good at that convincing and charming kath. like she does this like shes scamming someone yk? but instead she plans to drown them and eat them

kath doesnt know whats up with this weird siren but shes funny she looks her funny words she laughs at her funny words

and before you know it they're just a pirate girl and a siren girl bantering and joking with each other in the middle of the ocean and lizzies completely forgotten to eat her

she says it Out Loud too like "oh wait you have to go? dang i didnt get a chance yo eat you yet"

kath is again startled and reminded oh fuck yeah this is a siren sirens dangerous

and lizzies just "awe this is why i shouldnt talk to my food for too long now im attached i dont wanna eat you now youre so nice and pretty!"

!???!?!!

anyways at some point it becomes sort of an arrangement, kath going out on a bit of a fishing trip, lizzie meeting up with her

lizzie also hunts some fish for her too almost like a. dog bringing you back a stick or a frisbee.

kath is endeared by this

oh and btw lizzie has at least One Instance of bringing kath a pufferfish and getting stung ?? puffed ?? pufferfish did the pufferfish thing

and kath had to help her out

they are just two dummies two idiots taking care of each other and also they're autistic thats all ty

REAL REAL REAL REAL. SNIFFLES. lizzie’s little “:( ur really nice and funny and pretty how the hell am i supposed 2 eat u :/“ yeah girlie…… get attached to someone u were planning to eat

god and the bringing fish back…. woman who has gift giving as a love language …. remind me 2 draw them later

[rollychan]

Tag Meme

Tag people you want to catch up with/get to know better

Was tagged by @illwynd :D Took a bit to sit down and do this but here it is!

Last song: let me quickly check my VLC player on the phone cause my memory is a sieve orz Oh, it was A Kind of Magic by Queen. I tend to not listen to music a lot because my living situation currently is such that the TV in the next room is on basically all day and that's more sound than I can bear so no additional sound for me, which includes music, unfortunately.

Last film: uuuuuh it was probably Elemental when I was visiting my brother and his wife, it's actually not bad, nice family dynamics in there, but also nothing special if I'm honest (it did make me tear up a bit because the emotional weight was definitely there, or maybe the main theme hits a bit too close to home, Idk, but yeah)

Current/last read: I am embarrassed to say that I'm still on Blow-Up by Cortázar (a book @illwynd actually gifted me, double RIP to me) because I'm an idiot who can't move her ass to read anymore even though I've absolutely fallen in love with the stories, especially Axolotl. I really need to sit down again and continue.

Currently watching: my computer screen. That's sadly not a joke because, well, I'm a software dev and also currently working on my final thesis in Augmented/Mixed/Virtual Reality, so most of my time is spent in front of the screen. Other than that I'm not really watching any series (what the question is probably about?) though I'd like to try the One Piece live action show at some point because it actually looks good. Knowing me I'll probably watch it in five years or so lol (late-to-the-party syndrome, I have it)

Current obsessions: ironically, despite my problem with too much sound currently, I have started playing the (classical/acoustic) guitar in August (minus quite a few weeks because I just can't get rid of being ill, I hate it and I just want to be healthy pls), which is a lot of fun, and the history of the instrument is so interesting that I ended up learning about so many string instruments, it's not even funny lol I watched a more than 2-hour long video about how a classical guitar is built and am preparing for watching how an electric guitar is built (another 2+ hour video). I may have a problem. On another note, I got into Paleo Pines, which is a really cute 3D farming sim with dinos. Can only recommend, befriending dinos in different colors is very good for my mental health because they're very cute (especially the pride flag colored ones).

Tagging @iamnmbr3, @iamanartichoke, @tanelorn8615, @firethesound, @papercactuss, @derjemand, @j2stwincestiel, @autheane, and last but not least @kael1030 (only if any of you want to, of course) and also everyone who sees this and wants to do this (I only tagged my mutuals, and also feel free to put me as the tagger if you want!)

[pixyys]

Ah, I am honoured that you have finally decided to tone the jokes down. I guess being your brother has it's benefits sometimes /j.

And I'm pretty sure that is not where Lippmann gets his name from. Although his lips are undeniably pretty, his name comes from his way with words and his negotiation skills. I just hope that you won't make a cringy pickup line about his lips, or I will separate you from Lippmann in violin classes.

... You just never stop with the corny jokes, do you? I've had to deal with a lot of complaints about how my sister keeps on making lots of embarrassing jokes that frankly is more cringy than funny. It's given me a stress line or two, and I may have to start taking Panadol for my headaches.

Oh, don't be jealous my dear sister. I only did that because it was my last resort. And marriage??! Kids??! My goodness, please don't start jumping to conclusions. May I remind you once again that Silver and I are not together?

Bright orange hair and petite stature? Well, that is him, although he would punch you if you called him short. And what were you thinking with the axolotl joke? You're lucky that I'm your brother, or Chuuya would've done much worse than give you a nasty side eye. But he wouldn't dare, because he knows what I'll do to him first. lmao Pianoman is so threatening gfjdkkdf

But you should come by and visit again! The other Flags members miss you, and I know for sure that Lippmann is free over the next few days.

-🎹

P.S. Well, I followed your advice. It was the most intense and... 'hottest' moment of my life. Silver was stuttering a little, but she did say yes... I guess we're going to the amusement park next week. But tell one word of this to the Flags and I will break your violin. Now I've got to ask Lippmann for some advice on a first date...

anything for my brother! haha, though i'll still be waiting for the fateful day when you're finally able to see the true magnificence of these jokes😌/ lmao i cant

WHAT NOO DON'T. fineee, i'll keep my mouth sealed. i can't believe you're threatening me with this😔 but at least we're on the same ground. lippman does has pretty lips. ehem, that didn't come out from my mouth.

in case if you end up separating our classes, i have a perfect something for the occasion. not saying that you will, of course. what if i print this out and put it on your base as decorative posters? i think it's intimidating enough and fits the overall aesthetic :)

hold on, really? uh, my bad. will i be permitted to keep on doing this if i bring you panadol every day? i'll bring you and everyone some snacks too. and oh, i can recommend you his beauty clinic if you're worried about the stress lines, i got your back👍 either way, you look fine brother, you can ask silver if you don't believe me ;)

oh. oops. guess i got too excited back there. uhh i may or may have not started looking for event organizers and kiinda scribbled the wedding invitation design. oh well, better early than late, amiright? heh

seriously, i have no excuse for that axolotl joke. it just sorta came out��. i'm starting to think this is my karma for teasing you too much. it's almost like spouting these jokes replaced my fight-or-flight response. this is bad. and oh, dont worry, i'll be more careful next time. i didn't know nakahara is a very intimidating person. but i have a feeling he won't do that. he seems like a good guy..?

FOR REAL? i mean- yeah, sure. i'll bring your panadol and some snacks! i wonder what's lippmann's favorite food. and maybe some welcoming gift for nakahara? i feel like i owe him an apology after that axolotl accident.

p.s. woahh i can't believe you really did it. aw, i wish i was there to see the whole thing. sure sure, my lips are sealed. i wanted to make a joke about "first dates," but i couldn't think of one. what a shame. i guess just enjoy the violin one for today. but have fun on the amusement park! and um, will you tell me about lippmann's advice about first dates later? this is definitely not because i want to know his preferences or anything. not at all.

[animegearshop]

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