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inuhalfdemon · 9 months ago
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Dirty Dealings (4/21)
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Word Count: 2,460 Words
Chapter 4: The Grave
“I’m a demon, my dear.” Alastor told her warmly. “I really don’t give a damn.”
Lafayette, Louisiana
June 25th, 1970
“I’m not fucking around, here.” The guy yelled in Addie’s face, shoving her hard so that she stumbled and fell backward into the alley behind the apartments. “I told you to get lost, bitch!”
“But…” She gasped, shaking from his escalated aggression. “I-I paid for-“
“You fucking didn’t!” The man screamed at her. “You’d think I’d forget a face that’s staying in my apartments!?”
There was a sound of someone clearing their throat. The man who had shoved Addie, whirled around, his eyes finding Alastor leaning against a brick wall – ‘dressed-to-the-nines’- in his human form with a smile on his face.
“My good man,” He said, casually “Is there a problem?”
“Luc…?” Addie breathed, shakily.
“This broad here thinks she can get away with staying in my apartments rent free.” The guy spit, turning back toward Addie. “I was just seeing her out.”
“Hm…well.” Alastor pushed off from the wall and strolled over to where Addie was, offering his hand to help her from the dirty cement. “Perhaps, a tad excessive.”
“Excuse me.” The guy turned on Alastor. “You have something you want to fucking say?”
“How about a magic trick!?” Alastor snapped his fingers, bright green smoke bursting in the man’s face. The man wobbled backwards. He shook his head and blinked at Alastor and Addie in confusion.
“I-uh…” He grunted. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” He asked, all anger gone now.
“We were just discussing my sister-in-law.” Alastor explained to him happily. “You see, she needs a place to stay when she comes here for work. We were interested in one of your apartments but she will be new to the area, you have never met her before and I worry that you won’t know who she is when she comes to stay in a room that’s already been paid for.”
“Oh,” The guy started to say, “Well, I suppose-“
“You were just getting ready to sign this document!” Alastor smiled, suddenly showing him a paper and pen. “It will provide your signature in the event that if any problems should arise, my dear sister-in-law could produce it and provide to you the proper proof of purchase.”
“Of-of course.” The man stated, fumbling for the pen. He continued to blink repeatedly, his hand sweeping clumsily across the page as he signed.
“Pleasure doing business with you, my good fellow!” Alastor exclaimed happily, flourishing the document and pen back into his hand. “But, now, my friend and I must be off.”
Turning away, Alastor led Addie quietly away from the man and out of the alley.
Addie paused, glancing back into the alley briefly. “Did you just…?” She looked at him pointedly.
“Heaven’s no!” Alastor waved a hand. “This was for you, not me.” He handed her the document. “You show that to him at anytime and he won’t be giving you any more trouble. Stay there as long as you like, it won’t make a difference, the paper will still do the trick.”
Addie took the page from him. It glowed briefly, warm in her hands before the ink melted into the paper, fading away. The paper had become blank but she could feel it thrumming softly against the skin of her fingers. She carefully folded the sheet, placing it within a pocket of her jeans.
“Well, thank you…I guess.” She told him, not quite sure how she should feel about the situation. “You do realize if I use this, it will be stealing…”
“I’m a demon, my dear.” Alastor told her warmly. “I really don’t give a damn.”
“Thank you, then.” Addie told him. “Truly.”
“Think nothing of it.” He told her. “Now, there is the matter of our anniversary. I am afraid that I have a pressing engagement that will require my absence from you tonight. I’m sure you are quite devastated.”
“Not really.” Addie told him.
“I thought as much.” He chuckled softly.
“However, why don’t you get settled in to your new place? I have an errand to run in New Orleans; won’t take me long. I can come back…say…in the next couple of hours?”
“You’re going to New Orleans?” She asked. “I-I haven’t been there in…ages…” She suddenly realized.
“You are welcome to join me, if you’d like!” He happily offered.
“…really?” She asked. “I mean, I-I think I’d like to.”
“Splendid!” He took a large, sweeping step back. Snapping his fingers, green sparked and formed into whirling pool of smoke that spun beside them.
“Ladies first,” He dipped, an arm out toward the portal.
She hesitated.
“It is quite safe, I can assure you.” He promised.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the spinning portal, preparing herself for all sorts of…unpleasantness.
As she stepped through though, nothing happened. She simply stepped out into the same exact bright daylight she had left and felt entirely the same.
A young black man, hurriedly stepped directly into where she was standing and she gasped loudly, surprised. When the man never stopped or even touched her, she whirled around, disoriented. He and the friend that was with him had kept walking - somehow - right through where she had been without seeing or touching her.
“Quite, alright.” Alastor told her, stepping beside her. “These things do have their ‘fool proofs’.” He glanced around briefly, checking that no one was looking, before snapping his fingers. Addie realized that a soft green glow had been surrounding her and it dissipated immediately – fully materializing her to the spot. They were standing just off from a quiet street in New Orleans.
“Can all demons…do that?” She asked him.
He was swiping at his hair, trying to get the sweep just how he liked it. “No.” He answered, simply. “So, would you like some time to see the town? I can pop back by when I’m done.”
“I thought you were going into town yourself.” She said, confused.
“Oh, no. I have another outing in mind.” He told her. “Another kind of anniversary, in fact.”
“Oh, well, I-“ She wasn’t sure how to admit it. She was excited to be back in New Orleans. She hadn’t been back here since…well, since returning to the swamps the night after their deal had been made. That was 1950…had it really already been 20 years?
“You are welcome to come along.” He told her, still fussing with his hair. “I can’t say that it will be especially exciting for you.”
“You really wouldn’t mind?” She asked him.
“Not at all.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.
“Oh, blast it.” He sighed, done trying with his hair. “Would you mind terribly if I…well, if I took a more comfortable form? This one suited me fine for quite some time but it gets rather….stale, after awhile.” He was trying to explain.
“I guess not.” She said, having seen him in a few forms now and wondering why he even felt the need to ask.
“Humans will not be able to see me,” He explained. “You will, but others will see you talking only to yourself.”
“They would forget about me doing anything as soon as they no longer saw me, so why do I care?” She asked him dryly.
“Well, I’m just being polite.” He told her, before producing a long black cane and spinning it agilely about. In an instant, he was no longer human. He took the form of the dealer demon she had shook hands with those many years ago out by the bayou.
Obvious relief brightened both his smile and his mood. His long black cane now was a red and black staff with a microphone fixed to the top. He wore the same bright red, flashy clothing he had the night of their deal and his ears and antlers were even more pronounced in the light of day. Spinning the staff with the microphone, he began to walk away down a dirt road that led away from the city of New Orleans. The staff disappeared entirely, before he crossed his hands to the small of his back and whistled happily as he strolled away.
“Wait.” She said.
He paused, tilting his head and smiling at her.
“If you could already do all that…why even bother?” She asked.
He didn’t reply. He simply, happily shrugged.
She sighed, going over to where he had stopped. “Well, if you don’t know then I’m not going to try to understand it.”
“So, where are we going?” She asked him, falling in-step beside him when he turned to continue his jaunt.
“To visit someone very dear to me.” He told her but then saying nothing else. She noticed his voice had that same crackling-old radio sound it had had before as well.
They walked quietly for a few moments, Addie wanting to know more but also not wanting to annoy him.
“You know,” He said. “These were my old stomping grounds when I was alive.”
“Really?” She thought about it briefly. She supposed it made sense.
“Were you anyone I would know or remember?” She asked him.
He laughed. “Hardly. No, my dear, I spent my time in much different circles of society than you would appreciate, I think. But, I was a host to one of the earliest radio broadcasts in our lifetimes.” He proudly told her.
“That’s…interesting.” She admitted. “I can’t say that I’ve accomplished much myself…even with our deal that we made.”
He didn’t offer any comment to this, but if his ears were any indication, he was listening to her as they kept walking.
“The clause you added…” She told him. “It makes everything too hard. I want to do meaningful things, travel, see the world, find something I’m good at but…” She vented to him, frustratedly. “I can’t. No one remembers me long enough to make an impact or get anything done. I can’t apply for travel documents, I can’t get a job….I can’t even fucking write or draw, everything I ever make an impression on just…fades away.”
Alastor chuckled. “I made it so you can never be remembered, Adeline. Part of that is not being able to make any meaningful impact or form any meaningful relationships with others.”
“Not to mention that even just day-to-day tasks are…incredibly difficult now.” She sighed.
“Yes, well.” He giggled. “That’s just a bonus.”
She glared at him. Of course he was enjoying this. He would.
They were approaching the end of the dirt road now, an old rusted black metal fence encircled what looked to be an old cemetery. Alastor never slowed, but went to the old gate at the fence and swung it out wide, the metal screeching. He waited politely for Addie to walk through before following her, closing the gate behind them.
Addie paused, looking around the graveyard. There was a much nicer cemetery actually in New Orleans but she saw that these headstones were…very old. The most recent date she saw were ones that had the year 1929 but there were many other stones that were there dating back into the 1800’s.
She followed Alastor as he kept his strolling gait between the rows of long-since dead. At the edge of the graveyard, a large, beautiful oak grew just beyond the perimeter fence. Its branches casted long and twisting limbs over and into the yard. Just beneath, engulfed in shadow, was a lone headstone.
Alastor stopped at the grave and Addie watched him. He still wore a large smile across his face, but his eyes had softened and there was a gentle sadness there that she didn’t expect to see from him. Several moments passed with him standing there, just like that, completely and utterly still.
Addie thought about stepping away and leaving him alone, when he told her, “She was my mother.” 
“Your…mother?” She wasn’t sure what she had anticipated. Looking more closely at the gravestone now she saw that the day of death was June 25th…
“You come here…” Addie said, starring at the worn stone. “Every year? On the day she died…” Addie hadn’t visited the grave of either of her parents. Not once.
“Not every year.” He told her, almost as if they were chatting happily. “But, every year that I am able.”
“Isn’t the day though…” Addie wasn’t sure how to ask it. “I mean, it’s kind of depressing right? Why not visit on another day of the year? Her birthday even?” Addie couldn’t fathom it.
“I wasn’t around when she was born, Adeline.” He told her. “I was there when she died.”
Addie didn’t know what to say to that.
“Do you…? She offered, after some time.  “Do you want me to go-?”
“No, no that is quite alright.” He told her. Snapping his fingers, he produced a brilliantly colored, red rose. Bending down, he tenderly placed the rose atop of the grave’s headstone.
“Do you…?” Addie fumbled, not sure if she should even be asking him this. “Do you know where she is now?”
“Heaven.” He told her. “But, even it doesn’t deserve her.”
“What do you think she’d say…? You know, about you being what you are now?” She wondered.
“Oh, she would be horrified.” Alastor laughed. “Absolutely, and truly mortified. But,..” He looked at Addie, now, the radio static falling from his voice briefly. “She would still love me.”
Addie suddenly was fighting back tears. “Wow..” She breathed.
He looked at her, his expression happily curious.
“It’s just…” She sighed, really trying not to cry. “I really miss my dad.”
He watched her, not saying anything.
“He died before…well, before our deal so it’s not like that changed anything… But, you come here every year you possibly can to visit your mom? I’m not even sure I know where his grave even is…” She said it, realizing it was true. “What kind of a person does that make me?”
Alastor offered her no reply.
“My dad…” Addie wanted to explain but she just didn’t know how to do his memory the justice it deserved. Instead, she told him, “You probably wouldn’t remember it…but I gave you a ring. A wooden ring. He had carved it for me just before he died…” She was losing her words, unsure of how to say just how much her father had meant to her.
“You mean,” Alastor snapped his fingers, and in a rush of green the wooden ring appeared in his hand. “This ring.”
Addie starred at it, uncomprehending. “B-but you-you burnt it. You said it was worthless and you burned it away right in front of me!” 
“I never said it was worthless, darling.” He smiled coyly back at her. “I said it held no value to me. It obviously had meant quite a lot to you, however, and there is much greater worth in that. So, I kept it.”
She starred back at him. She was torn between wanting to scream in his face for all of this petty-shit-stuff he was putting her through - just for his own amusement – but then, also in being overwhelmingly grateful that he had kept the ring all this time, safe and sound.
He chuckled deeply when some time passed and she still hadn’t sorted through all of her feelings.
“Well, my dear, Adeline.” He smiled. “Happy 20th Anniversary.” And he, gave her the ring.
______________________________________________________________
Chapter 5
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nouverx · 10 months ago
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You gotta excuse his 1920's ass, he's still learning slangs
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notherpuppet · 9 months ago
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Role reversal AU
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mr-malumm · 10 months ago
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Rewatched episode 1, have we considered this?
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luminixx · 10 months ago
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“Your mom” gone wrong. Not the right person.
this is lowkey so unserious don't kill me. it's a reference to all that stuff about his mother that I am seeing.
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marblescorner · 10 months ago
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Biblically accurate radioapple interaction
(original meme below)
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mountainshroom · 10 months ago
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Recent hazbin sketches :) just a reluctant stepdad and his overenthusiastic daughter bonding
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celestialalpacaron · 6 months ago
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Jealous little brat 🥰 Angel I promise they’re just sharing intel about overlords, relax bb girl asgbswjjhwjhwhjwjw
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yamchaisawesome · 10 months ago
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I like the idea that in the 7 whole ass years Alastor was gone, Vox could not physically destroy, cover, or vandalize Alastor’s Radio so he just sorta nailed a shitty little sign over there in frustration.
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mooneggtarts · 5 months ago
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Hazbin... Heaven.... Heavbin?? AU?? Should I even make this into an au?? I mean, I don't have that many aus in my list (just 5 currently)
I did thought out about this, basically just what if Lucifer never offer Eve the apple? Meaning Hell never exsisted, meaning also that evil never actually slipped into earth, meaning humanity never have free will and I like to explore a world such as that. Where humanity is nothing but puppets in strings, a utopian sort of thing.
Until I suppose, someone suddenly slowly becoming *too* aware of that fact (hmmm I wonder who that is.. *looks up* ah ofc, him.)
Where the everyday same old peace and order suddenly became too unbearable that it somehow creates the very first extential crisis of his very exsistence (how he thinks there must be something wrong with him) that it changes his ways on how to live normally in such society (and how he realises that he can't say anything about it to not gain such dangerous attention)
Gosh why can't I just make a silly AU without any phycological lore behind it 😭😭
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purgatorysanctuary · 10 months ago
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Hello, StaticRadio Nation!
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inuhalfdemon · 9 months ago
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Dirty Dealings (3/21)
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Word Count: 1,962
Chapter 3: The Gossip
“But, I…” He swept a hand dramatically to rest on his chest. “Got my very first ‘crossroads demon’ moment.” He chuckled wickedly. - Alastor
Years passed and Addie LaRue continued to navigate her new-found life and its many challenges. Every year - to the day – on each and every June 25th, Alastor would visit her; wishing her yet another happy anniversary. He would offer her to close their deal; to give her rest from her miserable loneliness and collect her soul for his own. When she refused, he departed but not before offering her a gift; sometimes it was as simple as a new book to read or as meaningful as a pair of new shoes or clothes to wear. Addie hadn’t decided if this was something she came to appreciate from him or despise. Regardless, she persevered, determined to find her way in a world that was made to dismiss her completely.
______________________________________________________________
Despite having been busy with reaping souls on earth, Alastor still found time to enjoy a leisurely moment in Hell every now and then. He had grown rather fond of lunching or having tea with Rosie in Cannibal Town. He made it a point to stop in and share in a bit of gossip amongst her and some of the ladies there whenever he could.
It was a typical, hot and humid day there within the Pride Ring; no promise of acid rain or anything of the like. Alastor sipped happily at a cup of tea whilst Rosie and two of her cannibal-lady friends discussed the goings-on of the current reaping.
“…it’s put on by all of the Seven Deadly Sins, you know.” Rosie was explaining to the two women. “Every 10 years, eligible demons, sinners and Overlords are drawn and allowed to go to earth and reap as many souls as they can claim until the start of the next reaping. Of course, time works differently on earth. 10 years here, means 100 years there. Plenty of time to settle and collect from deals made.” Rosie paused to reach for one of the pinky fingers that was piled neatly on a small tray at the table they were all sitting. “Alastor here, is one of the Overlord demons participating in the current reaping!” She exclaimed excitedly. “And I’d say he’s already making a splash of things, what with having already passed the required quota by a landslide. He’s at the top of the collectors list, in fact!” She beamed back at him.
“Rosie,” Alastor smiled back at her, setting his tea cup down. “You flatter me. Why, from what I hear, I could learn a thing or two from you in the collecting of souls.”
Rosie blushed. “Yes, well….it’s been ages since I’ve participated. I’m much too busy keeping up with the souls I already have in contract.”
“WHERE’S ROSIE!?” A loud, grating voice cawed from nearby.
Alastor and the ladies all looked to see an ancient, cannibalistic woman shuffling right for them.
“Oh, dear…” Rosie sighed quietly before standing to meet the woman.
“Susan, dear. It’s good to see you.” Rosie greeted her warmly. “I hope you are having a lovely afternoon. Would you like to join us?”
“A lovely afternoon, my foot.” Susan said sharply. “Do you know that slut Linda went and got herself eviscerated by the hell hound that guards the butcher shop on 17th? What a dumb cunt.”
Alastor and the two ladies still seated at the table starred at the elderly woman, not saying anything.
Rosie touched Susan’s shoulder. “Now, Susan. I’m sure Linda did nothing to warrant the attack. Hell hounds are unpredictable at the best of times and that particular one is…well…I don’t think that necessarily makes Linda a…um…slut?”
“No.” Susan took a deep drag from the cigarette she was holding.  “She was definitely a skank.” She finished, puffing out a large cloud of smoke.
Rosie blinked at her, unsure of what to say next when she remembered her friends.
“Susan, I would very much like to introduce you to a good friend of mine!” She changed the subject and brought the old lady toward the table with her.
Alastor quickly got up from his chair to greet the woman with his best smile. Any friend of Rosie’s deserved his utmost manners. 
“Susan, you know all about the radio demon…” Rosie started.
“Ugh!” Susan groaned disgustedly. “Don’t get me started with that load of hog-wash….what a sorry excuse for a radio station, am I right? Maybe if it were just the screams but then we’ve got to listen to a wannabe Overlord and his fake, noisy, crackling static-filled voice. And, how unoriginal!? Is that mediocre broadcast actually supposed to be scary!? I tell you, Rosie, Hell was better in the old days. I’d eat my own ears off if it meant not having to listen to that racket ever again.”
Everyone was deadly quiet.
Um…”Rosie began, rather awkwardly. “This is him, Susan.” She gestured weakly to Alastor.
“Alastor…meet Susan.” Rosie finished.
His smile stayed in place, but his body was straight as a rod as he assessed the infuriating old broad before him.
 “….charmed.” His normally filtered voice had dropped it’s static; whether or not that was something intentional on his part, Rosie couldn’t guess.”
There was an awkward pause, in where nobody moved for several seconds.
Then, Susan took another long drag from her cigarette, slowly blowing the smoke out to the side of her mouth.
“Your broadcast sucks.” She told him sharply.
“OK!” Rosie said, quickly leading Susan away from the table. “Trudy? Jane? Would you both be dears and treat Susan to a lively round of Pinochle!? I’m sure you both could give her a real run for her money! What do you say!?”
The two ladies slid from their seats, and circumventing Alastor safely while remaining close enough not to appear rude, they took Susan with them as they departed.
Rosie sighed heavily as the women gathered up Susan and hurriedly left with her.
“I apologize,” Rosie started to say to Alastor. “Susan, can be-“
“BRING CECIL PALMER BACK!!!” Susan’s voice could be heard yelling away from them.
Rosie stood with Alastor, not saying anything anymore. He was perfectly, frighteningly still, a smile still plastered across his face.
One of his ears twitched slightly, then he asked her, “Is that one contracted?”
“I’m afraid so.” She told him.
“Well, that’s…disappointing.” He commented cooly, going back to take his seat.
Rosie breathed a small sigh of relief, before returning to her chair as well.
Alastor straightened the lapel of his suit jacket pointedly. “You know…it’s not like I can’t take criticism. I have bettered the quality of the screams I play a fair bit from my original broadcast, and the voice…is it still too static-y?”
“Oh, Alastor!” Rosie chided. “Don’t give it a thought. Susan’s a nightmare to everyone, even in Hell. Now, enough of that. I want to know more about your earthly exploits! Come on now, you must have some interesting prospects!”
“Rosie, you know I respect the privacy of my clients.” Alastor teased her.
“Oh, but I am terribly curious…”
“Well,” He sipped his tea. “I did manage to track down a handful of serial killers; you do know how I am partial to their ilk. I find their line of work quite rewarding…when done tastefully, of course.”
“Oh, how exciting.” Rosie giggled. “Anyone that may be of interest to me?”
Alastor sighed. “I’m afraid not. Cannibals are a lot less common these days, it would seem.” Flashing his ever-present smile at her, he added, “No reason I can’t do a little digging though, see if I can turn up any leads. Just for you, my dear.”
“Oh, you are too kind.” Rosie beamed.
“Oh, yes!” Alastor straightened, excitedly. “I almost forgot!”
With a sweep, he stood up from his seat and produced his microphone staff. Spinning it about with ease, he created a small portal. Reaching into it, he pulled out a clump of something. He stopped the cane and the portal disappeared. The something he had collected started to move and one, large bright eye opened up surrounded by a row of razor-sharp teeth.
“This little amusing treat is, Niffty!” He proudly exclaimed, sitting back down. “I collected her on my last outing!”
“Hi! Hi! Hey! Hello!” Niffty sputtered, jumping onto little legs to dart around the legs of the table and chairs.
“Why, hello, dear.” Rosie welcomed. “My, you are a quick thing.” She commented, watching as Niffty darted to and fro all about the town square.
“Is her name really ‘Niffty’?” Rosie asked, her large black eyes trying to keep up with the little creature’s movements.
“I have no idea.” Alastor admitted. “I call her ‘Niffty’ because I think she’s quite nifty!” He laughed.
“Alastor!” Rosie chastised him. “She’s not a pet!”
Rosie watched as Niffty picked at a line of ants going across the sidewalk near the table. A raven flew down and hopped close, interested in what she was doing. Niffty arched her back and hissed at the raven like a cat, sending it quickly flying away.
“At least…I don’t think she is…”
Alastor chuckled. Clearly enjoying his new addition.
He and Rosie sipped at their tea some more, enjoying the afternoon quietly together. Not much longer, and he would be on his way. He played his fingers along the tables edge before saying, “There is one prospect I have that is rather interesting…”
“I knew it!” Rosie cried. “I knew you were holding out on me! What is it!? Something…political. Oh, I do love a good scandal!”
“Really, Rosie?” Alastor, smiling but still showing his disappointment. “Politics?”
“Hey, it’s a guilty pleasure…” She shrugged.
“No, nothing like that.” He told her. “But, I…” He swept a hand dramatically to rest on his chest.
“Got my very first ‘crossroads demon’ moment.” He chuckled wickedly.
“Uh…what?” Rosie asked, confused.
“A mundane human soul came to me to strike a deal. A young woman, in fact. Her aching heart yearned for freedom from the entrapment of the threat of impending death. She wanted more time to see and experience the world to its fullest, to have limitless possibility and cast aside her mortal coils.” He drawled, snickering. “Oh, I gave it to her too. With a cleverly placed clause of my own, of course.”
Rosie starred at him, unsmiling. He was still chuckling to himself over his own antics, he didn’t notice.
“You’re joking, right?” She asked him, serious.
His chuckling subsided, noticing her stark lack of humor.
“Tell me, you’re joking, Alastor.” Rosie said. “You did not make a deal with a human soul that involved the lengthening of their lifespan.”
Alastor straightened, defensive now.
“What’s the big deal?” He asked. “She’s…human. She’ll grow tired of it soon enough; if she doesn’t go mad and-“ He pointed a finger, stopping Rosie from interrupting. “I added quite a nasty catch to the deal that makes it so she can never be remembered. By anyone. She’s left to wander the rest of her days utterly and completely alone. She’ll fold.” He smirked.
“I don’t know…” Rosie began, “That might work…”
He was becoming agitated.
“I’m not trying to…undermine you.” Rosie carefully explained. “It’s just…for a human to live a life beyond what is allotted, that takes power to do, Alastor. Power that will be directly coming from you. And, a pure soul…that’s something very different from making deals with sinners or demons.”
He was smiling, but he wasn’t happy.
“Look,” Rosie said, backing off. “I’m sure you’ve got it all under control. You are a powerful Overlord, you’ve got plenty of power to work with that’s for sure. And, I’ll admit…it is a very tempting prospect, it could turn into being a very profitable investment to you.”
He started to relax, his smile coming back as more genuine now.
“Oh.” He said. “I think this deal will be very rewarding.”
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Chapter 4
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nouverx · 9 months ago
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These two have the potential to be the funniest duo of the show istg
First one is from this amazing reblog from one of my posts, second one is inspired by some of the replies of said post
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notherpuppet · 10 months ago
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I just love the idea of Lucifer having to deal with this fucking guy every time he wants to see Charlie
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wazzi2ya · 10 months ago
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Alastor: *Gets down on one knee*
Lucifer: Oh my god, it's finally happening!
Alastor: *Falls over*
Lucifer: The poison is kicking in
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nekogaaaaaaa · 9 months ago
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The challenge when making dinner
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