#funniest timeline would involve them having fucked. wait. can i make that happen

[sexygayvampire]

also i put him in the hawke armor and i’m giggling at how tiny he is in it. compared to arum’s giant bulging muscles. (not that i necessarily think arum is as jacked as the hawke model is but like. v’s little twig arms) anyway i need them to meet. also i need arum to bring his bf vervain mercar you would LOVE anders

god v you are so pretty……….. i swear i’m not just doing a second run with him just to collect more screenshots. it’s only one of the reasons.

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside

Very appropriate title by the way.  Works in a multitude of ways.  

As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also?  Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes.  It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes.  It is going to be agonizing.  

Anyway.  Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).  

Not fair, Angela.  Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider.  I hate those suckers.  So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.  

Okay.  Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie?  Walker No-See-Ums?

Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.  

What is this?  Tara Jr. The Walking Dead?  LOL.  Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house?  Anyway.  First three minutes of this episode?  Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season.  I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that.  Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.  

With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol.  I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.  

More Carol and Aaron?  Yes, please.  I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up?  I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.  

Truly.  I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time.  It’s so long overdue.  

Bless sweet Kelly.  Riding off to her sister’s rescue.  

Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans?  For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance.  I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats?  Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly. 

Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling.  Don’t you hate that, lol?  

“You haven’t slept in days.”  But how many days, Virgil?  I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point.  What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up.  I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in.  For reasons.  

Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.  

Alrighty, then.  She’s clearly got PTSD.  Understandable.  They’ve all had it.  Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.  

I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.  

Okay though.  But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting?  AKA doctor’s  handwriting.  What then?  

Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol.  It’s quiet a visceral thing.  No, that does not make me a horrible person.  Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid.  IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker.  Perfect makeover idea.  Eh.  Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.  

Anyway.  Why is it always the fingers?  Eff that.  

Listen.  If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes.  He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.  

I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.  

“You do what you gotta do.”  Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie.  Impressive loyalty.  I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it.  Anywho.  My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.  

Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be.  Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.  

Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth.  It’s kind of distracting.  

Ohhh.  We’re back to the Haunted Mansion.  I mean house.  Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?  

All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.  

The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot.  Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol.  Not gonna lie though.  I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.  

I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.  

Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers.  But they are hella attractive, lol.  Listen.  Angela knows what she’s doing.  

Kelly’s horse is so pretty.  Prayer chain for that baby.  

More dead horses?  Why?  

Connie’s slingshot?  Sorry.  I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever.  Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.  

So.  Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner?  Did they kill it before the Walkers fed?  What monsters!  Yeah, no.  Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have.  The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down.  Sorry.  I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show.  I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.  

Days.  It’s only been days.  Not weeks.  So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in?  Those do not exist, lol.  They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything.  There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them.  You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader.  Kang, why you playing them like that?  Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones.  So many times my ass.  

Seriously.  Who been watching Connie and Virgil?  The MIA Oceansiders?  Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?  

Nice.  A Michonne mention.  Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.  

LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.”  Me neither, girl.  I would be outta that house so fast.  

They really “Quiet Placing” this episode.  Honestly?  I’m kinda loving it.  

WTF was that?  I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone?  Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.  

Okay, okay.  To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed.  Maybe they’re desensitized.  

Gollum’s chasing Connie!!!  He/She wants their Precious!!!

The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly.  And I mean no disrespect by saying that.  I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom.  But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen.  Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community.  He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.  

Awful thought.  The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to.  I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow.  When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know?  He’s going after Dog.  Or Carol should she finally join this story. 

I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story.  Because they messing with her mans, lol.  

“You’re ever with us or you’re not.”  Now where have I heard those words before?  I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.  

Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah?  Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver.  Oh look.  He finally has a name for me, lol.  

I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.  

They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters.  I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season?  Ugh.  The unfairness of the pretty.  

Human bones.  Terminus callback, lovelies.  How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.  

So many horror movie homages in this one.  

Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”  

Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll.  I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne.  He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie.  I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.  

Okay.  Does Carver want Leah for himself?  Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”  

Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot.  Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO.  He cares about Leah as a human being probably.  He’s Daryl, after all.  The sweet one.  But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.  

It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol.  I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.  

So.  These cannibal people were the watchers?  Hmm.  

I’m really digging Virgil 2.0.  Yeah.  Nobody’s surprised more than me.  

Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie.  His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers.  Every day.”  

Damn.  How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?  

How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.  

The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry.  Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else.  Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa.  Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa.  Angela fucking knows.  Everybody does.  Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.  

Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff.  So authentic and sweet.  Kelly and Connie are home to each other.  

Poor Frost.  That’s all I gotta say about that.  

WTF, though.  Was Mel just not available or what?  I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers.  Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it.  Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show.  Angela.  Please.  Fix this.  

One last WTF.  Seriously.  WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession?  It better be juicy after all this shit.  

Overall impression of the episode--

One of my favorites of the season so far.  The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise.  She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.  

I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol.  I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately?  This was Kelly’s moment with her sister.  Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk.  And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.  

I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group.  Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.  

The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous.  I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for.  I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me.  I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.  

Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work.  Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands.  Leah is just a means to his ultimate end.  She’s not his future.  She never was.  His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get  here soon enough.  But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.  

Oh goodie.  More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions.  Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.  

Until later, lovelies.  

Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.  

[ditto]

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed 

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding 

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do 

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again. 

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

>

>

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire. 

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire. 

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again. 

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think. 

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this. 

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm 

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious 

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

[kateis-cakeis]

Hope this isn’t too late, but I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about Gared would it be okay to request Asher Forrester for the character ask?

It isn’t late at all anon!! I would gladly do this with every character I have ever loved XD And Asher Forrester is my 3rd/4th favourite character of all time!!! So it is absolutely okay!! :D

Why I like them

AsherForrester is a perfect example of the type of character I love. Witty,sarcastic and has a true heart of gold underneath all that blood :P I honestlyfell in love with him in the first scene we saw him in. He’s one of thefunniest characters in ttgot. He’s one of the little brothers, the one who wassent away, the one who was branded as angry before we even met him. But he canbe quite level-headed if you play him that way.

Ijust love how sarcastic he is! His banter with Beskha! Wanting to do right byMalcom. Still being loyal to his family even though he was sent away! He’sincredibly loyal for a 21-year-old who was exiled to Essos when he was 17. That’ssuch an important character trait, especially if you saved him, he says henever wanted to be lord, but there he is, trying to be the Lord Forrester everyoneneeds.

I lovehim so much, he’s such a good character!

Why I don’t

This is so hard!! Like with Gared, I have to be really nitpicky here XD

Okay, so this isn’t really Asher’s fault. But when picking what you wanthim to say, his options can seem really calm in text, but then he’ll just saysomething I completely didn’t mean him to say. It’s almost like even the playercan’t control him, which is… fair for his character :P

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Again, this is a hard one! But I have to say ‘The Ice Dragon’. He makessuch a good lord for that brief time Ironrath was still with the Forresters. He’sgrieving his big brother, but my Asher knew that killing Ludd was the only wayto truly get back at the Whitehills. He let his own mother poison herself forthe good of the house. I mean… my Asher also gave Gwyn his word nothing wouldhappen but hey ho, maybe she shouldn’t have relied on that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway that episode really showed a lot of sides to Asher we didn’tpreviously get to see. And, despite his injuries, he survived the battle. He willalways be Lord Forrester to me in my post canon fics :)!

Favorite season/movie

Season 1 because there was only one season ;)

Favorite line

Okay,this is hard because nothing really stands out but one I get in my mind a lotis: “What in all the gods of fire and fuck?” He has a lot of funny linesbut I loved that one at the time!! :)!

Favorite outfit

His one in episode 6!! It’s so good to see him in another outfit and itsuits him so well! Makes him look lord like. It has a really cool colour schemetoo!!!

OTP

Well……. This one is obvious! Assoldier! Aka Asher x Random ForresterSoldier #167. A complete crack ship invented on the forums and I was one of thefounders back then. It had a whole shipping thread and was one of the bestthings I’ve ever been involved with! So yes, it’s a total OTP.

To Assoldier! All born out of one line: “My Lord! we have to get you-”

Brotp

Beskha and Asher! Pretty self-explanatory. I love how they call eachother brother and sister and I love how they have each other’s backs throughthick and thin. It’s one of the best examples of found family out there. And Ilove it!

Head Canon

So pretty much since I’m never gonna say it anywhere else, I think ifyou chose Asher in ep 5 and he survives everything and gets Ironrath back andHouse Forrester’s reputation is restored all before season 8’s timeline, Ibelieve he would have bent the knee to Daenerys as soon as he could. Especiallyif she gave you the gold.

Like he hears Daenerys is in the North and he’s like – “Wait, hold on, Igotta bend the knee! As soon as! Like right bloody now!”

I believe my Asher would have gone down that route because he owed a lot toDaenerys.

I also think if House Forrester was brought back in time, he would have foughtto retake the North from the Boltons. That would have been important to Asherand House Forrester as a whole since Ramsay fucked them over so royally. A lotof what happened with the war with the Whitehills was down to that son of abitch.

Anyhow….. Yeah, I think Asher would have bent the knee to Daenerys atthe first opportunity and as soon as he realised what she had done, he wouldhave freaked the fuck out. After all, he knows fine well what kind of damage Drogoncan do.

I also think he’d be very happy with Sansa being Queen of the North. TheForresters would surely be back in business after all that ;)

Unpopular opinion

Hmm. I don’t know if any of my opinions on Asher are unpopular??? Ithink the choice in episode 5 was pretty much 50/50, although I remember theforums were more in favour of Rodrik. I don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A wish

I want to know what happened to him! Gimmie a reference in a spin off!Anything! Mira totally 100% got a reference! The rest of the Forresters deserveone too! Or at least let someone, anyone, tell us wtf happened!! I just wannaknow :(

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I guess I can’t say I never wanna see him die because…. well…. I supposeI’d never wanna see a silly romance with him and anyone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. AND I NEVER WILL! Because we’llnever see him again XD

5 words to best describe them

Awesome. Badass. Sarcastic. Loyal. Strong-willed.

My nickname for them

I don’thave one!! Which is a shame because he deserves one! But I don’t knoww! XD

--

Thank you for letting me talk about Asher!! I could gladly talk about ttgot all day! And Asher is one of my faves, so this really got me thinking and allowed me to talk a little about what I hope happened to him post canon :)!

[annavolovodov]

Out of interest, how do you lose nine people on another continent?

Should be impossible, right? I mean, if I were taking pupils on a school trip to another continent I would be sure not to lose any. Alas the stupidity of man is infinite and not to be underestimated. 

Firstly, some background. 

The year: 2016, because when the fuck else would something like this occur?The location: New York, a city with a higher population than my entire country. The people: 36 pupils on a trip to NYC and DC with only four teachers accompanying. 

In retrospect it seems inevitable that some sort of chaos would occur but even so, I don’t think anyone expected this level of drama. And I want to highlight that this is only one of several incidents that occured over the course of this five-day trip.

It was our first full day in New York. The itinerary (which I had memorised) had us visiting Liberty and Ellis Island, meaning we had to get the subway through Manhattan at rush hour. That was as fun as it sounds. We also had these travel cards allowing four people through the barriers per card so essentially the entire group HAD to stick together. The final point I want to emphasise about the underground is how fucking complicated it is compared to the one we have back home. Ours is literally a circle meaning you can’t fuck it up and get lost whereas New York has a labyrinth of tunnels all leading to different places so you have to have a clear idea of where you’re going.

These details become important later.

(Side-note: when we were waiting on the platform a large section of the group and two teachers actually got on the wrong train and didn’t realise until they spotted our horrified expressions as the carriage pulled away. But that isn’t our main story here. It was hella funny though and felt like a dark prelude to the chaos that would occur mere hours from that moment.)

Anyway, eventually we all get to Liberty Island. We take pictures, me and my nine friends go up the plinth and get great views of the city, all is well.

After having a look around Ellis Island, we all queued up at the ferry terminal. My friends and I were at the back of the queue because we’d been the only ones who’d decided to go up the Statue of Liberty, which resulted in most of the group getting the first ferry back to Manhattan while we had to wait for the next one. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been on one of these ferries but they are unbelievably crowded (and the toilets are disgusting - avoid at all costs). Like if this thing had sunk we would all be fucked. Clearly health and safety is not a Thing in America because there is no way the volume of people on those vessels is safe, no way. 

There is most definitely not enough seats for everyone on board but our feet are killing us at this point so me, my friends and one of the other girls on the trip all end up sitting on the stairs. I can still see our accompanying teacher, Miss G, from my step and she could clearly see us. Or so I thought.

The stairs are near the back of the boat which means when the ferry docks so naturally, Miss G gets off before we even have a chance to move. But I’m not worried. Most of the group were on the first ferry and only a handful of pupils disembarked with her. Nine of us are still on board and there’s no way she’d leave without noticing such a large group of people missing.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

Cause when we return to dry land it immediately becomes clear that instead of waiting by the terminus to make sure the entire group is together like any sensible person would do, Miss G and the others have fucked off into the sunset and left us behind. We check all the nearby paths but nope! They’ve gone and left nine teenage girls alone in a park in one of the busiest cities of the world. Great!

I’m gonna use a timeline to explain how events progressed and I’m also changing names because I don’t have direct permission from those involved to put this on the internet.

11:30am EST: Miss G has most definitely left us. The squad concludes they’ll probably realise they’ve lost a whole quarter of the group and return soon enough. No one is too stressed and honestly I’m grateful to get a seat on a bench because my feet are on fire from all the walking.

11:40am EST: ten minutes and still nothing. Surprisingly, I’m not worried: the one good thing about anxiety disorders is that you gotta plan the shit outta everything. This being my first time away from home, I’ve decided to be extra cautious. I have full details of the hotel including address, phone number and email memorised. I have several hundred dollars in a bag stuck up my skirt. Most importantly, I have the moral high ground. We have done nothing wrong. This is not our mistake, nor is it down to us to sort it out. Me and my friend Rosa decide to kick back in the shade and keep hydrated till we see Miss G doing the walk of shame back to us.

12:10pm EST: stress is kicking in for some members of the group. Jessica is starting to get super-anxious and we’re all way too warm in this 30°C heat. Some of the girls wonder if we should head to the next stop on the itinerary (the WTC memorial) - it isn’t far from Battery Park and it’s most likely where one others are, but we immediately decide against that. If we move from this spot and the teachers come back they’ll use that to spin the blame on us, and we ain’t gonna let that happen. We can’t return to the hotel except as a last resort because we don’t have enough subway cards and we don’t know which station we originated from, so we’d need to get a cab and no one is keen on spending that much money.

The good news is that I also have the number of the teacher’s mobile memorised. The bad news is that we aren’t entirely sure whether the number needs an international code or not because who phones from their mobile when their abroad??? No one! In the end Ella, Melanie and I try to find a sympathetic-looking American to target for help. We find an old lady from Staten Island who tells us her life story - it was actually very interesting if time-consuming - but alas! She doesn’t know how phones work either! We’re back at square one.

Ella decides to bite the bullet, international fees be damned, and offers up her mobile as sacrifice. We text and call the teachers but to no avail. After several attempts I suggest we try ringing the hotel and seeing if they have any method of contacting the teachers but the receptionist turns out to be as helpful as a chocolate teapot.

This is probably not a shock but me and my friends were not what you would consider “popular” in high school. Most of the other kids on the trip either looked down on us or outright hated us. But thankfully there was one girl in the other group who Melanie was kinda friends with and was willing to help us, bless her. Ella texted explaining the situation, she texted back confirming they were at the WTC, telling us she’d explain everything to the teachers and send them our way… as soon as she found them herself.

Yep, that’s right. The teachers had in fact ditched the pupils in the other group at the Twin Towers memorial and had disappeared off themselves. They weren’t answering their phone and we had no idea where they were. Essentially, we were stuck waiting in this park until they decided to come back.

12:30pm EST: an hour into the abandonment with no end in sight. We’re severely questioning whether the teachers have actually noticed we’d gone, because surely this would be the first place they’d return to, but I do enjoy imagining them running around the city in a panic looking for us.

Obviously everyone within the group is handling the situation in very different ways. Let me do a brief recap:

Jessica is having a straight-up panic attack at being left alone without adult supervision in one of the busiest cities in the world. Her anxiety is exacerbated by what we’d later learn was heatstroke when she collapses in the middle of a Broadway show that night.

Holly is unsuccessfully trying to calm Jessica down.

Ella is pissed af, especially since she’s just spent a fortune trying to call for help. Genuinely she’s one of the funniest people I know but she is NOT afraid of confrontation and is very much preparing a rant she will deliver to whichever teacher comes to pick us up. 

Melanie is equally pissed but is overall staying levelheaded and trying to maintain order. 

Nathalie is ready to throw hands - she straight up HATES Mrs M and has been going on about it the entire trip thus far. At first I thought she was blowing things out or proportion but by the time I boarded the plane back home I realised that nope, Nathalie’s hatred was justified. She also turns out to have heatstroke and spends that evening throwing up.

Nicoletta’s method of coping is through humour. “Wouldn’t it be funny,” she says, “if we pretend Elise nearly got mugged when the teachers return to try and make them feel bad?” “No it would not be funny,” I reply, “because I can’t lie for shit and besides, I don’t wanna be the victim.” (In a shocking twist of events I WAS a victim of a scam in a separate incident two days later, but that’s a different story).

I think Isobel’s primary emotion at this point was “too warm to care” which was highkey relatable. 

Rosa is just plain hungry (we’ve missed lunch, after all). She can’t be arsed with the stress/arguing/ranting and the two of us decide to go over to a street vendor and purchase an overpriced Magnum each.

As for me, I was remarkably calm for someone with severe anxiety issues. The thought of confrontation was worrying me more than the actual sensation of being in my own personal recreation of Home Alone 2. I mean, none of this was our fault. We definitely had the moral high-ground here. I knew it, the teachers knew it, I knew the teachers knew and the teachers knew that I knew that they knew. The ball was very much in our court.

1pm EST: a whopping hour and a half after the arrival of our ferry, Miss G and Mrs M have finally thought to themselves “hmm, the group looks a bit small, maybe we’re missing a quarter of them?” and decided to have a gentle stroll back to Battery Park to test their hypothesis.

Not gonna lie, when I saw them coming my heart was in my fucking throat. Usually I love watching drama unfold but it’s less fun when you’re in the middle of it and you’re going to be spending all your time over the next few days with those involved. 

I braced myself for the worst but before any of us could utter a word, Mrs M shot right in there with “well that was a life lesson for you all, let’s move on!” It was the single worst thing she could’ve said because from that point we all knew that they knew they were in the wrong and were desperately trying to divert the blame. 

Some of the other girls made comments about the whole ordeal and conveyed that they were pissed off but I never spoke another word about it. I think that scared them, that I never really indicated my feelings, because Mrs M kept trying to make friends with me for the rest of the trip and it was kinda entertaining to watch her attempts to figure out whether I’d grass them in when I got home. 

In all honesty, I would’ve dropped the matter immediately if they had apologised straight away when they came back for us. But they never said sorry at any point, not even to Nathalie and Jessica when they ended up really ill as a result of being left in the park for so long. As the day went on it all got a big gaslight-y and they kept trying to spin the blame back on us, telling us we should’ve went and found them instead of waiting there, and that pissed me off even more because I had an abusive relative gaslight me a lot when I was a kid and I hate all that manipulative bullshit. But the real interesting thing is the fact they didn’t learn from their mistakes. I have so many entertaining stories from that trip due to the teachers leaving people behind or mismanaging things including four other occasions in the next three days where people got lost or left behind.

The best part is that although I’ve left, I still follow the school’s Facebook page that they use as their main mode of communication for parents. Apparently they’re doing another NYC/DC trip this year and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I put a comment on the post announcing the trip’s departure wishing them a safe journey and hoping that they don’t lose anyone for two hours in middle of New York this time…

[mrburger]

Future Merrick Wakes Up From His Nap

Future Merrick appears to be napping on Merrick’s couch when Merrick gets home.

 “You can nap?”

 “Apparently,” yawns the old ghost.

 “Hey,” Merrick realizes, “you came back!”

 “Oh.  I was gone?” Future Merrick grabs his glasses, puts them on.

 “For years!  I don’t—even know how many.  I’d have to go check.”

 “Weird.  Do you know where I was?”

 “No.”

 “Jesus,” Future Merrick sighs, noticing the state of his glasses. He takes off his glasses, peers at them through the light, and starts to wipe them clean.

 “Where were you?”

 “Oh, I have no idea.  I was napping.”  He fits his glasses back on and finally gives the thirty-year old standing across the room from him a proper look-over.  He spots the shiny new ring.  “Hey, did you get married already?”

 “You said something to me like ‘It wasn’t like this,’ and then floated away out the window.  That was the last time I saw you.”

 Future Merrick nods, “I remember that, now you mention it.”

 Future Merrick sits up and lowers his wobbly old legs to the floor.  His left knee gives him grief.

 “What did you mean by ‘not like this’?”  Merrick still stands by the door.

 “I ... can’t answer that.”

 “Oh, Jesus, we’re back to that.”

 “Hey, it’s not like I’m lying.  I can’t answer that.  I don’t remember the answer.   ‘Not like this?’   Was I quoting The Matrix?  I do do that.  Maybe I had something on my mind that day, and I said something dramatic, and I left all in a grump.”

 “’All in a grump?’  You left me alone in the present.  For years I wondered I was living my life wrong.  You left me thinking I was living in, like, a rejected timeline or something.  I thought my whole existence was, like, I don’t know, but you’re telling me, years later, that that is not what you meant?”

 “If it was, I don’t remember.”  Future Merrick gives Merrick an unselfconscious look.  “Life after death is not less confusing.”

 Merrick suddenly wishes he could go home.  He is home.  But he wishes for something else, for some reason.

 “What is it like, being here?” he asks the ghost.

 “Oh, Jesus, we’re back to that.”

 For a moment, it’s almost like Future Merrick’s not going to answer.  He never answers questions like these.  Future Merrick stands up and stretches and yawns, cracks his back, yawns again.

 “Actually, okay.  I can answer that.”  He looks glumly about the dusty, cluttered, lived-in apartment, and then back at Merrick.  “It’s like I’m on some sort of weaponized trip.  I’m re-hallucinating my own life.  Myself has become its own inescapable little corner of reality.  At all times.  The trip won’t let up.  It’s all I can do not to wail for help.  Does that startle you?  I don’t know how else to put it, otherwise, so sorry.  I hope you just get what I mean.”  The old ghost points at Merrick.  “I’m the same thing you are.”

 “I don’t get it.  Are you saying you’re, like, stuck?  Purgatory style?”

 “Maybe.  Not to be a bummer.” Future Merrick rubs up under his glasses.  “I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, but everything feels a bit bleak, and is mildly,” he strains for the right word for a moment, then seems to settle for, “depressing.”

 “Fuck.  What can we do?”

 Future Merrick chuckles sneezishly.  A little jet of snot actually spits out onto his upper lip.  He wipes it off, then wipes his hand off.  

Merrick has the instinct to grab him a tissue, but what would be the use.

 “Is there anything I can do?” Merrick asks again.

 “Probably not,” Future Merrick grins oddly, “You just keep doing you, and we’ll be fine.”

 “I’ll be fine, sure.  But you just told me you’re in purgatory.  And I am you.  So technically, aren’t neither of us fine?”

 “I’m not sure.  I’d say let’s go ahead and read some Borges on the matter.  I’m not sure it would help.  But we should try.”

 “Has it always been like this?”

 Future Merrick confesses by way of silence.

 “Old ghost, I am you.  You must trust me.  Why didn’t you tell me this last time?”  Merrick plunks tiredly down onto the sofa. “You just reappear, you don’t know where you’ve been at all, and now all of a sudden you’re telling me you’re depressed.  I don’t get why this is happening.”

 Future Merrick considers this.  “I’m sorry.  I’m not sure why this time I feel like—” he begins, but then.  His gaze fidgets to the young man’s wedding ring.

 Merrick looks down, too, then back at Future Merrick.

 “The drug,” Future Merrick says strangely, “You took the drug.”

 “What drug?” Merrick asks.

 “The drug.”

 There’s some meaningful eye contact.

 “That was a hallucination,” Merrick explains.  “I was panicking, and I hallucinated, and I came back from it and everything was okay.  I know for a fact it wasn’t real.”

 “We know for a fact,” corrects Future Merrick.

 Merrick opens his mouth to--

 Future Merrick floats over to the digital piano against the wall.  The thing is new as of last week.  It has mostly sat quiet.

 “Wait, is this new?” he asks dreamily.

 “There’s no way what you’re going through is as awful as how that drug was for me.  That was a bad experience.  I dreamed I was in hell.  It was like I’d been tricked into taking something very bad for me.  I really thought I was stuck in a loop where I was just always dying, already dead.  I thought I’d died and gone to hell.”

 Future Merrick plays a lovely, soundless tune over the not-on keys.

 “But for you, I mean, this is hardly hell, right?  I like this apartment.  You were napping when I found you.  It’s a nice summer day outside.  I’m sitting here on a couch, I’m patiently hearing you out and, like, I’m empathizing with you, and like, I am you.  How am I a component of your purgatory?  Isn’t purgatory supposed to suck?  How can this be eternal damnation if there’s still music and video games and--and Biga?”  The A/C suddenly, refreshingly comes on.  “I mean, the goddamn A/C is going!”

 Future Merrick just looks at him.  “Come and turn this on, wouldn’t you?”

 Merrick can’t resist when Future Merrick asks him to do things.  It’s strange.  He’s never known if magic were involved.  Up goes Merrick and on goes the piano, and then Merrick goes back to the couch.

 Future Merrick plays a special chord.

 Merrick sees it now.  

The ghost then lilts through a tune Merrick’s never heard before, but recognizes.  Merrick kicks off his shoes and stretches his legs out on the couch.  He counts seconds staring at his feet as he breathes.  He takes a few very long slow breaths.

 “So why come back?” Merrick wonders aloud.  “Why now?”

 “I don’t know.  Sorry.  But whatever I can do to help, you just let me know.”

 “Well, you remember this, right?  Where we’re at right now?  Back when you were me.”

 “Hm,” says Future Merrick.  He plays the chord again.

 Merrick winces.  “Do you remember anything bad happening next?”

 Future Merrick fumbles the tune for a second, replays the last few notes slowly over and over, then gets it going again.  “I sort of remember … everything.”

 “What?” Merrick stops focusing on his breathing to look at Future Merrick curiously.

 “I don’t know.  Maybe nothing.  I might be making it up.”

 “Jesus,” Merrick whimpers.  “Just kill me.”

 “Wait,” Future Merrick says to him suddenly.  He stops playing for a second to look right at him.

 “What?” Merrick asks.

 “Something bad does happen next.”

 “I’m listening.”

 "Listen,” hesitates the ghost, “It’s on its way…”

Merrick takes a single sharp breath.  

Future Merrick shifts his weight.  He furrows his crinkly brow.  “Listen,” he says, and squeezes out a dry trumpety old fart.  Which he thinks is the funniest thing ever.