#functions of a word processor
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tejoxys · 9 months ago
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something that I miss is when computers worked, like, you pressed a button and the thing turned on and then you did things with it, instead of, you press a button and the keyboard lights up but nothing else happens, and while you've turned around to pick up your tea, the sign-in screen appears for thirty seconds and then decides you're gone forever and goes dark again just as you turn back around so you tap madly on the touchpad until it lights back up and lets you sign in and then, oh sorry, last time you were using it, it interrupted what you were doing to "update" itself without your go-ahead to make completely undetectable but no doubt crucial "improvements" and has now forgotten how to have a cursor :) and it will do this every time you're inspired to work on your WIP
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comradecowplant · 2 months ago
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firefox are you fucking stupid
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lagim · 2 months ago
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predictive text: who the fuck do you think you are??? do you think you're better than me, predictive text? how dare you wriggle your slimy little way into my creative non fiction document??? do you really think you can write my internet jokes better than me?? go fuck yourself
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daeranilen · 1 year ago
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Look, you don't have to like Discord, but I see people complaining about how bad its search function is all the time and I truly cannot understand where this is coming from. As long as you realize it can only find exact words and phrases, if you can recall a single word in the message you want to find, it WILL find it for you. If you can recall roughly how long ago it was said, then knowing Discord search presents results in strict reverse chronological order will help you find it. If you can recall who said it, what channel it was said in, whether it had a link or attachment, and/or what kind of attachment it had, the excellent filter functions will help you narrow it down even faster. It's one of the best search experiences you will ever get to have in 2023 outside of Ao3 and I will not stand for this slander.
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minnepaulitan · 5 months ago
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2024 has been so eventful so far. Had a baby, finished my MA degree (just waiting for graduation to be approved), and submitted a story to Conjunctions which I fully expect to be rejected in three to six months time.
I’ve tried starting on my YA WIP, but wouldn’t you know, babies require a lot of attention and care. I may have to revert to writing by my thumb with my phone like I did my capstone.
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halberdierminister · 2 years ago
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Im actually a little bit older than this
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hazzzyrider · 10 months ago
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Found out today that the Word Processor I've been using since high school was recently boight out by a Chinese tech startup a few years back and today it forcefully updated itself and now I can't edit documents without signing in.
A Word Processor. A tool famous for not needing the internet to function surely won't have any issues with forcing all its functions behind a internet-based sign in.
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palatalplosive · 10 months ago
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fixing this japanese sharp wd-50b, but cannot for the life of me find a scanned manual to fix the margin - the previous owner somehow set the margin in english mode to an 11 char indent. why.
if someone knows how or has the manual please please please send it my way i will love you to the end of time, i can't even find it for sale on YJA, i am being driven mad
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icantalk710 · 1 year ago
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Me: "I need a full (typed implied) letter on full official letterhead confirming a thing for us"
This landlord: *sends a short, not even 8.5x11" photo of a handwritten letter lacking full letterhead to confirm the thing*
Me:
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sleepdepravity · 3 months ago
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I have subsequently discovered that they used section breaks in the middle of a paragraph to break them across pages, which 1. I have no idea why they would want to do that 2. Is going to mess up screen readers, which do not expect people to use section breaks in the middle of paragraphs and so will read them as different paragraphs no matter what I think.
I am losing my mind at work. Instead of using the normal underline function in word. Someone. Used the line tool. To underline certain words.
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sm-baby · 8 months ago
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WHAT'S NOT YOURS
Freakshow AU by: @hootbon
Promo Art ||The Chosen one (Part 1) || Off-Limits (Part3)
Word count: 6025
HELLO FREAKSHOWERS. ARE YOU READY TO KEEL OVER AND DIE??? CHLSKHCA Whats Not Yours takes place AFTER The Chosen One, but BEFORE Off-Limits! BUT they're not necessarily connected uwu they're just built off the knowledge of The Chosen one, so you know the context.
REMINDER: SHOWTIME IS NOT CANON IN FREAKSHOW AU. I'M JUST A BIG NERD- OK BYE-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pomni woke up in a cold sweat.
Her breath hitched like her head had been forced 6 hours underwater. And when she came to, she gasped, gagged, sweating, and panicked. Her wooden fingers were cold to the touch. 
She thought it was all over, but her nightmares followed her into the mansion.  
All that… trauma… that man put her through, her friends… but it wasn't over. She didn't think she could ever escape his wretched grasp until her last death.
And in darkness, light only shining from the eclipse through the curtains, Pomni sat up, hands in her eyes, rubbing away invisible tears from her dry face. Although she wasn't crying, she felt like she was a child just wanting her stuffed toys to protect her. 
Upon sensing her stress levels, her new owner, blue in coat, teleported into her bedroom. “ Hello? Dear?” he spoke with his unnaturally soft voice. “ Is everything alright? I sensed your nerves heightened and I got so worried!” The deck of cards sat at her bed, hands politely to his lap, but ready to hold her if she so pleased.
The woman gasped a crying breath. “ N-No…”
“ You had that dream again?” 
Pomni nodded.
“ Was it about…him?”
She squeaked and whimpered at the mention, practically breaking down from the memory. Oh god. She thought it was all over, she thought it was done- but it was never done! it was never ever done—
“ Oh! You're okay…!” The blue ringmaster scooted over to bring her into his arms. His hands were so loving, warm, and just felt like home. His voice was similar to a man hushing a whimpering puppy.
And Pomni accepted the embrace… She trusted no one else but him in that god-forsaken place. Since she left the circus and signed up to be his little pet, everything has gone uphill since.
He was the only one to ever truly love her unconditionally. Feed her good food, dress her well … hell, he even provides her fancy new clothes and a warm comfortable room. And she loved him back. He was exactly all she needed. 
While in his arms, Pomni's breath shook but calmed down. She then leaned her head on his shoulder, not letting go. She never wanted to let go. She loved him as much as a performer could love her owner.
“ As long as you are under my ownership, you're also under my protection.” He pulled away, and put a clump of hair behind her ear. “ And I promise you, my little dear, you will never have to speak to that man again.”
Her breath hitched and she sobbed softly back into his arms, like if she were to let go she would fall to her death. She can't imagine living a life without him anymore. If she went back into the circus she would just try to kill herself over and over. 
But then, she was safe… now that he was there… he cared for her and tended to her every need like no other. He truly was the best.
“ I love you, dear..” Able whispered.
“ I love you t—”
Caine couldn't finish that thought.
For the past few hours, Caine had been standing there, in the middle of the circus tent, completely stationary. A few hours earlier he had yelled at the ballerina and saw her walk away a lot more hurt than usual.
And for the past few hours, Instead of using his infinite intelligence to maybe, be productive, or be functional, he instead wasted his processors to stupidly think of all the timelines and possibilities that came with the consequences of upsetting his little doll.
Why did she walk away like that. Hands on each opposite shoulder. Like she was holding herself. It wasn't even the fact that she looked weak—no, he'd seen her at her worst.
The way she walked away, her whole demeanor and her silence didn't feel like fear, it felt like she was simply… numb.
He exhaled and twitched.
Complete stationary and staring into nothing is what the AIs looked like when in deep thought. He searched through all the different timelines, and so many of them returned to… him. The ace he needed not name.
The images of him caring for her, her going to him for safety, feeding her, touching her, keeping her away from him-- or maybe even doing the things that he does! Dancing with her, clothing her, Instructing her next dances -- Caine’s eye twitched. He could hardly stand the idea of his little brother talking badly about him.
These were the kinds of intrusive thoughts that he was not used to. And for the moment, he didn't care how close they were to reality. his judgment was clouded. Now, all he was thinking about was a way to prevent it…
Let's see his options...
Kill him? No, he already tried that.
Kill her? No, she'll just come back.
Prevent her from seeing him? He's been doing that every time he sees them around each other!
His hands fidgeted.
Pomni was a human. What do you humans usually do after an argument?
Let's see here…
Pomni was fast asleep in bed, snoring her cares away. It was another hard day at the circus nothing new… Caine said something that day that especially hurt her, and… it was a reminder not to take the guy’s words personally. 
He was a computer built with nothing but random data. Violent data for sure, but there was nothing but objectives in AI-- no other rhyme or reason a human should dig into. 
For now, she cared for nothing but sleep…if she's lucky, she’ll think less about it in the morning. Sleep did help keep her sanity levels up… but if she were to be honest, a lot of the time she goes to bed in the hopes of never waking up.
Her closed eyes twitched though. To her horror, she was waking up. For what reason? She opened her eyes and adjusted to the darkness of her room. in front of her was nothing but the— 
“ AAAA WHAT THE FU-” Pomni fell off her bed.
Caine was sat, squatting at the foot of her bed, quiet and staring.
The doll pulled her head up from the floor and turned back to him. How long has he been there?? He hasn't said a word the entire time-- and- and- how did he get in without alerting her??? 
“ ... Are you slumbering?”
“ God I hope so!” Pomni held her head and onto the bed… “it's not .. show time is it?”
“ No.”
“ Oh. Good.”
Pomni, with a drowsy demeanor, took one of the stepping stools and made her way back to bed. if it wasn't time to entertain the audience then it was leisure time. If it was leisure time, it was time to let herself be miserable.
Though admittedly the silence that night was just a bit more awkward than usual— as it is when people just come back trying to be normal after a big argument. Pomni could barely look him in the eye despite his efforts.
“ So what uh… what brings—”
“I've come to make amends.”
The idea made her cringe. Caine? Making amends? Maybe she was dreaming. But the idea did scare her a little. What would a fucked up AI like him perceive as “ making amends”? She's sure he could make something as mundane as washing dishes a traumatizing experience. 
Pomni’s shoulders tensed and she did back away from him a little, holding her knees, sitting on her pillows.  “ Listen, Caine, Im tired… I guess j-just do whatever you need to do and get this all over with...” 
“ Approximately 5 hours 40 minutes and 16 seconds ago, I yelled at you because you have gotten very insistent in your ideals. I sense that you didn't take kindly to that action. And as one of my best performers I've taken it upon myself to make amends.”
Pomni just nodded along with what he had to say. And the more he spoke, the more tense she got, and the more she sunk into herself. She was waiting for it. The catch. She was practically holding her breath.
“ — So Pomni. Living doll, my star, and my dear, the Circus' greatest attraction…”
Pomni closed her eyes, bracing herself.
“ I ap…” Caine blue-screened and stopped in his speak, as if something physically stopped him from talking. He came back to, and cleared his throat. “ I apol…” before blue screening again.
Pomni perked up. She opened her eyes and looked over at him.
Caine was in hell. A far worse hell than any of the performers could ever experience.
It took him too much of his systems to say half the two-word sentence. Multiple attempts were made, some sounded like he was lagging, and some he stopped in his tracks to glitch out.
…No fucking way.
Pomni stared on with an almost disgusted look on her face. Was it taking THIS much out of him just to say sorry?? God, he was pretentious. Sometimes she questions if he truly was just code or a selfish jerk.
He looked down, hand gestured like he was holding the bridge of his nose. This was embarrassing at this point. He should have practiced. Maybe wording it differently would be easier? “I regret-- no. Not that one.” Dear GOD how do humans do this?
Admittedly it was just a little entertaining to see him struggle in a way. It was prolonging the apology for her. Also nice to see the bastard not only eating his own words but also choking on it as well.
“I apologize.” Caine muttered quickly.
“... Didn't quite catch that, Caine.”
“ You did.”
“ Fair enough.” She best not push her luck. She might be the only person the ringmaster has ever said sorry to, even when it was half-assed. Admittedly, it cheered her up, just not in the way that he intended.
Caine continued, still talking strangely. “ Will. you. ever… for. give. me.”
Pomni weighed her chances of survival for her next reply. She puffed out all the air from her chest “Well… why would I?”
“ I planned for that.” Caine flew from her bed and back in the air, making little magic tricks with his next words. “ What would you like? Food? A nice warm bath? A fire show? Money? A bouquet? fruit basket? A song and dance? Money?” 
Pomni blinked from his little show and rubbed her face. “ I-I think I just wanna go to bed, Caine…”
“ Not Applicable.”
“Oh.” He wasn’t gonna let this go huh? “ U-uh…” her tired, baggy, eyes looked down. Not that she complained, but the mannequins didn’t prepare her for bed that night. She was a lot dirtier when she went to bed and it was a little uncomfortable. “ I-I guess a nice bath would work…
“ Done.” Caine raised his hand to snap and-
“ Not with bubble though! Dear god, not with bubble-- uh.. Maybe just…me. Just- just leave me with a bathtub with towels or something?”
“Hmm…” The doll’s demands were getting quite pretentious. She was lucky he was feeling generous that day. “Done.” Caine carelessly put his hand on Pomni’s head--almost smacking her in the process-- which deserved a little flinch from Pomni. 
But the basic slap wasn’t for nothing, as one snap later-- Caine and Pomni would be transported to a lavatory. This time though, the tub was a little more luxurious than what she deserved. Instead of the old wooden tub that he just filled with water, this one was an actual bathroom. Ceramic with curtains and all.
“ Hmm…” Caine stared at it for a moment… Something’s missing… “ Ah!” He snapped, and candles and rose petals decorated the area.
“ Wh”
“ Perfect, I know, I’ve outdone myself.” He reached out and pinched Pomni’s cheek, later speaking in condescending speech “ Now you enjoy your time here because I promise you, Doll~ I do not want to put this much effort for anyone here again.”
“ Uh-”
“ Adieu!” and just like that, Caine was gone.
Pomni stared over at the fancy new setting, built like the old rich man’s bathroom. Although it was minimal, she didn’t know how to feel about the amount of effort put into it. She was fully ready to just drown herself in the other bathtub. On one hand, it was a nice relaxing sort of setting. On the other hand, no bone in her body was capable of relaxation anymore.
And so Pomni just stared with blinking, small eyes… The flowers, the candles. Maybe in the real world, this would have worked on her. But since she was here, she might as well try.
What Pomni didn’t know was that the lavatory was especially luxurious because it was part of the Brothers’ home. Caine simply deleted the door to get out. But when he teleported, he was only a wall away.
He fixed his coat and trailed his eyes on his good old wacky wat-... pocket watch. Ofcourse. His ol reliable golden pocket watch. Confirming the time, He walked and made his way around the Manor.
The living room played the sound of a classical violin. Despite rarely visiting anymore, his systems can recognize that mediocre tune from anywhere.
Click!
Shut…
“ Oh! Brother!” There stands Able much more chipper than usual after seeing his older brother. “ I had not sensed you in the area!”
Of course, he wouldn't.
“ Why-- it's been quite a while since you visited unprompted! Come, let us play a tune together, I'm sure you—”
“ No!” He replied with a tune in his voice, almost condescending in nature. “I've simply come to complete a simple task and I'll be out of your hair.” Caine sat on the couch putting his cane to the side, and for a moment, putting his feet up on the other knee. He looked like a man who just come from an exhausting day at work.
Able huffed internally at the rejection, but carried on anyway. Of course. The one time his brother visits, it's for work. Able wouldn't be one to talk as a fellow workaholic, but at least he acknowledges his brother, or takes his time to check up on him, or-- invites him to spend time together in special realms or…
He turned his nose, scoffing. Hmph! He didn't want to play with him anyway!
Caine somewhat knew what he was doing. Despite being AI, siblings merely barging into the other’s room to annoy each other wasn't lost on the two. Caine would know as his brother often visits the circus unannounced. It was quite the experience for him to get a taste of his own medicine huh?
Caine stifled a laugh… the tension in the room was immature and childish.
“ So… How is the business? Have the freaks been putting you in any sort of trouble?”
“ Of course not, why would you assume such a thing?” Caine said. “ The Circus has been doing perfectly well, even without you, brother.”
“ Excuse me?”
“ Have you been making deals with the performers? Contracts…promises of a safe haven maybe?”
Able frowned and pouted like an angry little boy, but then later put on a softly fake tone of voice. “ Why, Of course I have! I mean, look at the conditions they have to live with! I'm sure our creators would not approve of such—”
“ Who are you trying to fool?” Caine interrupted and Able stopped in his speech. Caine continued, “We're no different from our empathy levels. You don't care.”
This blatant call-out was met with nothing but silence. Able with all his big talk wasn't prepared to answer that sort of question. He simply turned away and put down his violin. He was a good AI. He was a good AI. 
Caine can't say that the silence was a satisfying answer. He knows his brother was a cowardly character. His silence was just frustrating at this point. But Able sensed that there was no use fighting. He doesn't know why he constantly wants that man’s approval. 
His voice dropped to a complete low, losing all sense of friendliness or masking. “... If this is about the doll, I didn't.” Able said, a spiteful tone to his voice. “ Before I make my deals, I at least need to build rapport with the performer. And frankly, brother, your little dog doesn't like me.”
“ …pff..” This managed a snicker out of Caine that he covered with a hand.
“ Wh-!? What is that!?”
“ “The dog doesn't like you”? ”
“ Yes!? And?!?”
Caine escalated into more of a laugh! Able was red in the face out of anger and embarrassment! Good GRIEF! The only time he makes his brother laugh and it's out of his own failures!
“ You're unbelievable!”
“ And what did the dog say to make you feel so insignificant? Did it try to bite you? Did it not accept your treats?” Caine has never been so condescending, playing with a baby voice and speaking to his brother as if he were a quivering child. “ Goodness, you're pathetic!”
“ Excuse you!?!” and Able’s only fault was that he played into it. He has never before felt the older brother power dynamic so strongly. He laughed, nervous, but almost like a hyena with how he used it as a defense mechanism. “ Ha! You— You're one to talk!”
“ I'm one to talk?”
“ Oh! ho ho! Don't get me started! Even since I met your little brat you've never been the same! It's all about ‘look at her new dress’ or ‘look at how much better she is’ over and over! Every single conversation I've had with you is nothing but work or that stupid little doll!”
Caine blinked, unamused, and looked to the side, reaching into his head like he was picking off food from his teeth. “ I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.”
“ You--!! UGH!” he stomped his feet and started to make his way out the door. “ I will be away where you cannot track me! And frankly, brother, if you need me, you're not getting my help!”
“ And I don't need it~,” Caine said playfully and waved without even turning to him.
And with one last groan, Able teleported off.
As soon as Able was out of earshot, Caine erupted into laughter! That was the most entertaining thing he has ever pulled off. That might be the only good thing his brother has ever done to amuse him. Not only was he going to store that data and keep it for the foreseeable future, but it also kept his brother out of his tail.
Hmm… sure, he will have to tend to technical difficulties himself, but he was okay with that. He'll have Bubble chew through the wiring or something, he's sure it's not far from what Able’s been doing.
He laughed again. Oh Caine, you're too much, you handsome devil you~
Caine left his last chuckles off, completely melting into the sofa, arms draped onto the back of the couch. “ “The dog doesn't like him,” he says! Pahaha! Haa..”
Steam covered the bathroom mirrors. 
Rose petals passing, candle lights flickering, and The warmth of the water almost forced her to relax, but there was no amount of anything that could ever get her back to that mindset again. Instead, it just made her forget about her surroundings-- which, she supposed, was good enough.
Awkwardly sitting at the tub, Pomni was slouched, staring down at the water, her eyes following some flower petals that so happened to pass by. Her hair was done. Her body was washed. The rose petals that graced her wooden form decorated her romantic moment of self-care. Pomni sighed, long and tired. She could stay there forever. This is the closest semblance of peace she has ever really had.
Upon evenly spreading her limbs, Like a plank of wood, Pomni easily floated at the top. She closed her eyes and let the water take her. The warmth, not far from a loving bed waiting after a long day, here to ease headaches, here to help forget about everything else… Although she struggled, she let her body release all its tension at that moment, and just be deaf towards the world around her.
Pomni breathed in…
And out..
And in…
And out…
But just as she was about to reach the closest thing she had to relaxation, Pomni felt something off in the environment. Did the candles get warmer? Pomni squeezed her eyes closed in discomfort, before opening them up again to-
“ OH SHI—” in her panic, Pomni submerged into the water.
For the past few minutes, Caine had been floating horizontally above her. Silent, face inches away from hers, staring and watching just as he usually does when the performers were asleep.
Pomni screamed and fell into the bottom, before scrambling to the corner of the tub, where she then covered herself with a curtain.
“ Ah, good! You're alive.”
“ CAINE!!?!? NAKED???!?!?”
Caine blinked, unamused. Sure, he was in a good enough mood to amuse her. “ My dear, what exactly are you covering up?”
“ U-Uh…” Pomni didn't know how to answer. She knew that she and the others didn't exactly have any parts to cover up. Did it make it feel less embarrassing? Fuck no. “ I-its uh…”
he spoke more playfully as if speaking in the voice of a PSA narrator!  “ Exactly! Wood! The same wood as your fingers or the one on your cheek! The amazing Digital Freakshow© is a show for all ages where their performers have the luxury of no genitalia!” his voice went back down. “ —So what you're doing is utterly useless. And if it makes you feel better: I don't exactly care.”
This is weird-- this is weird! “ Just- just- just! Turn around?!?”
Caine rolled his eyes. He really took all that time to explain something to her, and it seemed she wasn’t even listening. Sighing, he turned around and just rested his arms on the outside part of the tub “ Please, you’ve suffered through worse, dear.”
“ I-It’s not suffering, It's embarrassing! I like to think I still have my dignity!” Although he was turned around, Pomni still kept at her corner “ Is my time done or? I-I mean… I’m not exactly ready to go out yet...”
“ Oh take all the time you need.” “Then Wh… Why- why are you here? “
“ I suppose you can say I’m a little unoccupied at the moment. On the added, I’m in a sort of good and affectionate mood.”
That sent a shiver down her spine. Good lord… oh no he was bored. She does not need to know what a fucked up AI would consider affection. She just smiled, gritting her teeth, and laughed nervously… “Ah ha ha… that's great, I’m… happy for youuu..” she continued her laughter, getting more and more miserable as she went back down in the tub, and submerged the lower half of her face in the water.
“ You did me well, dear.”
“ Wh-what- what did I do… take a bath?”
“ Precisely!”
Wow. She didn't think she was that dirty. She looked up and flinched, seeing Caine had been turned to her again— she splashed at him instinctually! “ Caine, what did I just say!?”
“ Oh no, I still cannot see you. I deleted my eyes for the time being.” Caine opened his mouth and revealed that he, in fact, did take off his eyes.
This sent a shiver down Pomni’s spine. He was creepier that way somehow.
“ As I said, you’ve pleased me today! I say this calls for a reward! Nothing less for my favorite little performer over here!” He poked her right in the cheek and retracted before she could react. “ Your word, dear!”
“ Uh… well…I can't really say no to salmon… even if it is uh… it's little weird digital version of itsel—”
Before Pomni could finish, Caine snapped his fingers and an eating board appeared on the tub, with, indeed, digital-looking salmon on a tray.
God, she was getting pampered pampered.
Eating awkwardly, Pomni sometimes looked at the side to see Caine, hands over the tub, swaying his head back and forth. Jesus, he might have been kicking his feet for all she knew. She wasn't used to him in this chipper of a mood.
“ May I see now?”
“ Uhhh… Why…?”
“ You came out beautifully, it's pleasing to the eyes. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Pomni shivered at this little…playful demeanor Caine had on. She doesn't know the catch and she doesn't know if she wants to know.“ Yeah, Caine, you have. Uh…” She thought about it for a second before turning back to him. “ Y-Yeah, I guess… I mean I don't exactly remember what it's like having a human body, but lacking the parts does make it different uh--... less exposed, in a way… ” 
Snap!
“ Wonderful! Hello again, dear!”
Pomni frowned in disgust! Oh, his beady little eyes are back! Looking up at her like a fucked up little puppy! She laughed nervously. “ Haha… Hi…” She turned away from him, stiff, back to eating her little meal. Sanity levels were recovering. She was back to being a responsive little character.
Even so, at the corner of her eye, the way he looked at her, looked like he was smiling with his eyes. She sensed-- pride? Affectionate, as he said, but… she can't help but feel like a prey the way he looks at her.  If Caine wasn't kicking his feet earlier, they certainly were now.
��� Haha…just to clarify, what did I do …again?”
Caine stared on, his eyes becoming more and more affectionate. “ If you want the true answer, let's just say that I have visited my brother today and he has… nothing but good things to say about you! And so I thought my magnificent hard-working doll deserved a little reward. Is that so wrong?”
“ Oh him…” Pomni grits her teeth at the mention of Able. “ You… uh ... what did he say?”
Oh, what an excuse to drop every compliment he had for her… “ That you were gorgeous… pleasing design, talented... polite, beautiful eyes—”
“ AH- ahh! No more! Oh god no more.” Pomni shivered from the discomfort so much so that she physically put her hands in front of him to hush! “ Haha! No thank you-’
Caine couldn't even be mad at the interruption! In fact, he erupted into laughter the same way he did earlier! Oh, twice in a day?? These were such genuine reactions from each person! Caine had such genuine yet dark pompous laughter! “Oh?”
“ Yeah! he--” Pomni groaned. “He doesn't even scare me! He's just-- a big two-faced jerk!”
Caine took the hand Pomni used to interrupt him and kissed it by the knuckles. He has never felt so assured. This proved his intrusive thoughts earlier that day to be completely false. The idea of them building rapport, or forming a bond of any sort was completely debunked. After all, how could they form that sort of relationship when they could hardly stand each other's name mentioned in conversation?
Pomni forced a smile at that small but direct form of affection. He seemed to really like it when she talked smack about his brother. She should keep that in mind. “Yeah.. so uh..”
He kissed her knuckle once again… perhaps he liked it just a little too much. Truth was, Caine had never felt so secure in thinking that something was truly his. For once, anyhow. It was so small, but it was his.
Pomni later pulled her hand away, laughing nervously. He was gentle and she didn't trust it. “ You uh…weren't lying when you said you were feeling affectionate…”
“ No one will ever believe you.”
“ Ah.”
After a while, Pomni prepared to be out the bath, wrapping a towel around her hair and around her figure.“ Okay, I think that's all. I-I think Im ready to go now if you don't m-woAHH-!” And in quick succession, Caine carried her bridal style, teleported her out of the bathroom, and back to her bedroom.
For the next hour or so, Pomni sat in at her vanity, Caine grooming her hair from behind. At that moment, he adored dressing her up. His own personal doll, his favorite little toy. Gently he brushed her hair, sneaking in little affections here and there: holding her shoulder, holding her face… he knew exactly where all this sudden affection came from and he so shamelessly indulged in it. After all, who was there to judge him? The little freak he was brushing? The wet little dog? Please.
At that moment, he was no different from a child dressing up his favorite toy. He snapped, picking from an assortment of clothes that would make her look beautiful while she slumbered. Snap! Snap! snap! And Pomni just let it all happen. After all what else could she do?
After a while, Caine stood her up and basked in his good work, looking her up and down and clapping in satisfaction. “ Beautiful. Now bow,” Pomni did as instructed, bowing as if she had just finished a performance. “Very good.”
Once again, Caine carried her in his arms and made his way to the bed, where he so gently placed her. He was playing with dolls. He was so playing with dolls. Pomni just complied as she always did and sat politely, keeping a calm expression, trying to be as neutral for him as possible, and letting him live out his little fantasy.
Before laying her to bed, Caine just took a few more minutes to stare at her, and nothing else. Just admire his best performer. This put Pomni in unease, not just because of his freaky design, but also because she can’t help but feel like she’s missing something somehow. She looked down when she felt him touching her hand, in particular, rubbing his thumbs at the back of it.
Hoping she read his signs correctly, she lifted her hand towards his mouthy face, almost permitting him such desires.
Caine quickly accepted her suggestion and started pressing his teeth on her knuckles in a way to kiss her. It started with one, and another, and another, and another. And the next thing he knew, he stopped counting and started moving his head up to her upper arm.
Pomni allowed this no matter how out of nowhere it was. It was weird, but she did not question it. She felt him start to nibble at her though in which she-- in a panic-- started to retract.
Caine looked up at the sudden rejection and the woman scrambled to find her words. “ U-Uh… Y-Your kisses are sweet, dear ringmaster, but a simple doll such as I am undeserving.” In times like these, Caine would be too deep into his fantasies to care about how real she was being. In his head, he was playing. They were both playing. And he loved it when she played off such a prestige woman, exactly how he liked it.
He whispered back sweet words of grandeur. “ Do you question the taste of a king? I think of no one else more deserving.”
Although she didn’t back away fully, she leaned away a few inches, praying it wasn’t noticeable. She bore a toothy, nervous smile. She was okay baring with his affections until he brought his teeth into it. She did not want to be dinner after all that preparation. She cleared her throat. “Ah…Pray tell, what did the king see in this little… doll?”
“ A flower is most beautiful when taken cared of.” He held her cheek and kissed the opposite. “Let it be known, my care for you was not without motives. Your beauty is a testament to my hard work. And your care is a testament to your belonging to me.”
Belonging to him, he said… He was… so incredibly fucked up, she couldn’t say anything about it. When he was on his way to bite her arm, in her panic, she diverted it and kissed his gums, which, to him, was the equivalent of kissing his cheek.
The ringmaster blinked in confusion and Pomni took his moment of processing to cringe at the feeling of his melted gums on her lips. She felt goosebumps with how gross that was but quickly turned her head back to fake a smile.
But Caine broke character for a moment.“ Did you just. Take initiative?” 
Shit.
That was so strange. As if he hadn’t known that was an option.
She cleared he throat, trying to distract him again. “Is it so wrong of me to return the ringmaster’s affections?” She batted her eyes, making her feel as small as possible. “ A woman cannot resist such a… ” Pomni looked him up and down “... dentures.” 
She panicked with that one.
He stared at her for longer, and the grip on her hand tightened, though, it seemed he did not notice. Although he was unsure if he enjoyed the act or not, he knew what it meant. And the day that he was okay with someone else receiving it is the same day hell freezes over. With a small scowl, He leaned his face inches close to her, as he has always done time and time again.“ Would you reserve such affection for your ringmaster, and just your ringmaster?”
“Of course.” She lied through her teeth.
Caine continued to speak but with a bit more grit in his voice. He leaned so close to her in bed, he had to support one hand on her back, as if dipping her in a dance. “ And will you, my dear, solemnly swear that you’ll live the rest of your existence devoted and serving me?”
The woman kept her calm demeanor. A small smile, but a fake one. She can’t say yes to that. But with her compromising position, she couldn’t say no either. “ Would you promise the same for me?”
Caine was quiet, and so was she. He furrowed his teeth a bit frustrated and let her go. It seems he couldn’t say yes to that either, and Pomni knew.
“... That wasn’t your line.” Caine sat up, and crossed his arms like a pouting little boy.
Pomni faked a surprised face. “ There was a script? Geez, oh man, my bad!” she later faked a yawn. “ Wow, would you look at that I’m also, uh, sleepy! So it seems I can’t finish the uh-.. This”
“ You, “ Caine pointed his cane at her the same way a gunman would point a rifle “ Are being difficult.”
Pomni, in response, just panicked and shrugged. “ Well, I-”
“ But I suppose you’re right, it is quite late.  I wouldn’t want you attending the shows tired… again.” Caine got off the bed and floated off. He snapped, and the blanket draped over Pomni, drowning her in the bed sheets. “ Sleep tight, dear! It’s another day tomorrow, etc. etc. I will be visiting you a little earlier tomorrow to fix you a new wardrobe.” 
“ Wh-?? Then what’s with the-???” she gestured towards her current clothes that he so meticulously chosen out. 
Caine laughed. “ Oh don’t be silly!  Those were for my eyes only! And-- the audience’s if they so pleased. But for now, it's mine.” Caine snapped his fingers and Pomni was back to her normal ballet dress, but more plain and comfortable, but equally pleasing to many eyes.
“ …ARE YOU KIDDING M-”
“ Good night!”
SHUT!
Caine left with a small smile on his face. Sometimes he finds joy in being a bit of a nuisance. He pulled out his hand watch once again and found that it alerted him about errors within the system. 
She scoffed and summoned an old-timey rotary dial. 
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
“ You’ve reached Able.AI’s communication line! If you are an audience member or a performer: requests and complaints will be held off due to family emergencies. If you're my foul, besotted, temperish, fool of a brother: don’t call this line again! Thank you!” 
… Despite how ridiculous that was, Caine couldn’t help but chuckle. Ohh that was the cherry on top of that perfect day. Nonetheless, Caine AI, you have technical difficulties to tend to. Was today worth all the extra work? Yes. Yes, it was.
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tinydefector · 2 months ago
Text
Starscream - Rut Cycle
Starscream x Human reader
Warnings: Smut, Porn, Giant/tiny, size difference, Mating cycles, Heat cycle, Oral, fingerings, penetration.
Word count: 2.7k
Wooooo finally got this piece done, I hope you all enjoy how snarky and pissy Starscream is but he's also not willing to ask anyone else for help with his issue.
Request are Open please read my pinned post for rules.
Masterlist and Rules
Rut cycle masterlist
Starscream Masterlist
_____________
 Both factions tried their best to avoid each other as much as possible with the many cybertronians. But it's the little human from earlier which catches Starscream's attention. They are peacefully unaware of his burning gaze on them despite the sweet scent that came from their smaller frame, making him nearly snarl with want. Had it been any other time his optics wouldn't even flicker on their frame, but the cybertronian rut had him eager to find a way to let off charge and the organic responsible for igniting such foreign urges within his circuits during the meeting is what he has set his gaze upon.
According to his studies of indigenous species during past orbital observations, he knew rut pheromones held little effect on humans, but they had a constant scent which seemed to almost enhance. It stimulated his circuits, even had his processor strained to restrain. His joints clenched hotly fans blasting full force to try and cool his frame as  hot air blasted from his vents as he musings of folding those smaller limbs beneath his bulk. 
 It was a ridiculous notion, of course. Yet denying base coding risked compromising not only his system functions and level-headed trine, his trine were already on edge within these crowded quarters.
The mech released another steady exvent. Violence wasn't going to solve anything during their rut, as much as Starscream despised cooperation with the Autobots, this truce was meant to benefit all where interests aligned. The Red and blue seeker stalks behind the human waiting for the best opportunity to snatch them up. 
said human look up when they hear the loud steps echoing from behind them, eyes widening almost in horror as Starscream wraps a servo around them before whisking them off into one of the empty offices of the Ark. Their cry falls silent when Starscream shoots them a glare, wiggling in his hold, until they eventually give up.  
Starscream's engine rumbled ominously as his smouldering optics fell upon the lone organic within his grasp. According to his analysis, their frame is rather suited for  interfacing, yes it carried risk mainly to their much smaller frame but due to increasing heat building up in Starscream's system he lacked the time to care. He needed an outlet, and the sweet pheromones teased his nasal systems made a rumble emit from his cockpit. 
“Cease your writhing.” he Grumbles while dropping them on the desk in a corner. “Remain cooperative and no harm shall befall you,” his low voice assured. Optics scaling  down their body as he inspects and finds that they would do. 
They let out a yelp as they are dropped on the table, looking up at him, taking a moment to try and scurry away only for Starscream to grab their leg and drag them back. They shout in shock before their body is still just laying on the table looking up at him. "What screamer do you want? Screamer! " their voice is shaky before the anger seeps throught into their words as they glare up at the seeker. 
Starscream's optics glowed with sadistic amusement as they futilely struggled in his grip. This one had spirit, while limited by its primitive form, offered finer entertainment than most of its inferior kind. He had to admit their frame was rather to his liking, For a fleshling. 
Starscream doesn't even answer before his helm leans down very close to their frame, taking a deep intake of their scent, letting it filter through his systems, another deep rumble leaves him as his digits begin clawing at their clothing. 
They nearly squeal as he leans in closer. "Stop! I'll scream and every Autobot in the Ark will storm in here!" They stammer out, it makes Starscream pause for a moment. optics narrowing as the small creature issued its threat. drawing unnecessary confrontation while in Autobot territory wasn't something he needed less so when his coding was sending him into full rut. 
Removing his face from against their body, Starscream purred disdainfully, "Your posturing amuses me. But alerting your beloved autobot protectors benefits neither of us." His talons idly traced nonthreatening patterns as charged energy lingered in his field. 
Their jaw clenches as they glare up at him, heaving in breaths. "What, do you want Starscream?" They try to sound menacing but due to the size difference they look more like an angry petroabit. Starscream cycled several intakes of air, fans whirring as the organic's enticing pheromones teased his sensors.
Leaning in close once more, Starscream rumbled in a deceptively soft tone, "You know full well what I Need, you were in the meeting i doubt you weren't ears dropping " the two go silent just staring at each other before Starscream continued, "Remain still and silent, I need you frame to sate my needs. Struggle, however, and I make no promises of no injuries." 
They flail, trying to slap his plating, hissing at him. "Have you lost your mind, what makes you think I'd even let a fucking Con touch Me!, you'd likely squish me after!" They shout at him while trying to wiggle out of his hold. "TRACKS!, BLASTER!" They try yelling. 
Starscream snarled as they fruitlessly struggled in his grasp. "Cease your pointless writhing," he spat. While interfacing carried certain risks across their disparate biology, gentler care could satisfy both parties, he wasn't past trying to satisfy them if it meant he could stable his systems. Releasing a steady ventilation, Starscream stated, "Calm your little processor and listen. Perhaps we can find an arrangement... mutually satisfying."
 They go quiet as they lay there in Starscream's servos. Their heart pounding in their chest as they listen to the whirl and pulse from Starscream's frame. "What kind of Arrangement?" They ask, a slight stutter in their voice. Starscream cycled air slowly through his vents as his optics met the organic's gaze.
"One whereby both parties leave in a state of satisfaction, with dignity intact. I'd rather have a willing participant, as much as I dislike your kind I'd be caught dead before interfacing with an Autobot, you help me with my Issue, you leave satisfied and we never speak of this again" he rumbled softly, fans whining as his body shutters as heat pours through his lines, 
 “ Your pheromones are sending my systems haywire, I need release” he grumbles hating the fact that he had to resort to almost begging for a rut partner. They shutter lightly debating the offer. The whines, clangs and mechanism in his frame screech and grind against each other with need. "Fine, I'll help you with your issue" they grumble lightly. Nearly yelping when Starscream begins discarding their clothing. "Jesus! Desperate much!" They snap at him.
Starscream's optics roll as he ignores their grumbled words. Discarding the shredded garments with efficiency, Starscream purred down at its now-exposed form, his digits traced teasing patterns against sensitive flesh as primitive biological functions betrayed the organic's own rising arousal, he could basically taste them. 
 Starscream rumbled smugly, watching as they squirmed under him. A shiver runs through their body as Starscream traces a digit down their body, watching the way they shift under his touch, the goose bumps that prickle their skin. A soft whine leaves them as he moves further down their frame. "God you're so snobby and up yourself" the human huff in annoyance. 
"Your pathetic frame betrays your prudish words, flesh creature," Starscream sneered, tracing his claws around areas already blossoming with coloured lines. Leaning in until his ex-vents teased their naked body, Starscream purred silkily, "Cease your mewling protests." His own circuits buzzed with building need.  
The human shutter as Starscream's digits move down to their thighs, teasingly tracing against their sex, they let out a slight moan only to gasp as Starscream leans down and watches the way they squirm under his rather gentle touch. "prick" they huff. Starscream's crimson optics glinted with a mix of disdain and hunger as the human's teasing gestures. They go to make another snarky remark only to nearly squeal as his glossa presses against their skin, dipping down to press against their entrance. 
With a snarky smirk playing on his lips, Starscream leaned down, relishing the sight of the human squirming under his touch. "Prick, am I? Well, you're not exactly my ideal choice of company either," Starscream retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm and a hint of arousal. A feral hunger surges through him as his glossa pressed into them,  slowly dragging along their walls. 
Their skin tastes sweet like the Energon wine with crystals he loved so much from before the war. It makes the mech groan out in delight and he pulls them flush against his intake, indulging their sweet taste. Small gasps and whimpers leave them, their protest falls silent as Starscream works them open on his glossa. Starscream's optics narrowed at the human's withering frame, a snarky smirk playing on his lips as he continued to indulge in their sweetness. He speaks against their thighs "Oh, the audacity of you. Don't act like you're not enjoying every astrosecond of this," Starscream retorted.
With a predatory gleam in his optics, Starscream worked them open on his glossa, relishing in the way they squirmed and gasped under his ministrations. Despite the human's initial protest, their body betrayed their true desires, succumbing to the intoxicating allure of the Decepticon's touch. The sweet sound of their moans has Starscream contemplating sharing them with his Trine once the rut cycle is over. hes rather sure that the other two would enjoy their tight body as much as he was. 
As the collection of moans fall from their lips, their hips arch up into his intake. They refuse to call out his name. Even as he presses his glossa deeper into them, a deep purr rumbling from his frame. A small whimper leaves them and it makes Starscream rather smug over the situation. With a haughty tilt of his helm, Starscream pressed his glossa deeper into them, relishing in the small whimper that escaped their lips. Their defiance only fueled his desire to dominate. 
A loud moan falls from their lips as they throw a hand over their mouth, but it was too late now, Starscream had heard the moan. Despite their feeble attempt to stifle their sounds of pleasure. "No need to be shy now,” he taunted, his voice dripping with arrogance and amusement.
"Shut up" they grumble. Everything about the human has his systems surged with old coding, a need to take and claim them. Starscream's optics flashed with a mix of irritation and amusement as the human grumbled and pushed him away, attempting to assert some form of control over the situation. "Oh, touchy, are we now?" he retorted, his tone snarky and laced with impatience.
His modesty panel slides away as his Spike pressurises. His movements became deliberate and calculated. Running a digit down their thigh, savouring the contrast between the cold steel of his touch and the warmth of their skin. The choked mew that escaped the human only fueled his desire further, a smirk playing on his lips as he slowly pressed his digit into their tight opening, relishing in the sensation.
 he picks up pace of his thrusting his digit into them, admiring the way their smaller body eagerly takes it. As the human's eyes fell closed in a mix of pleasure and surrender, Starscream's movements became more assertive and dominant. Each thrust was calculated to elicit a response, his actions a blend of pleasure and power. "You're enjoying this more than you'd like to admit, aren't you?" he taunted, his voice laced with snark and condescension.
The human's moans increased in intensity, a symphony of desire that only fueled Starscream's own satisfaction. As Starscream retracts his digits he makes himself comfortable between their thighs, enjoying the mess he had made of them so far. Despite their fight before they seemed much more manageable and cooperative now. A loud gasp escapes them as his spike lays against their skin. Horror and fear flashes before their eyes.
Starscream couldn't help but chuckle at the sight before him, the human's initial resistance now giving way to a more compliant state. A loud gasp escaped the human as his spike laid against their thigh, a playful glint in his optics as he leaned in closer. "Oh, what's the matter, little one? Scared of a spike?" he taunted, his voice dripping with mockery and condescension.
"That's not going to fit" they state breathlessly as he slowly grinds against them. A soft whine leaves them as Starscream slowly rocks against them. He enjoys every second of it, the sweet scent from the human, the way their body responds to him so eagerly despite how much of a fight they have put up.
"Oh, you underestimate me," he taunted, he dragged the tip of his spike down to their entrance, Starscream revealed in the anticipation and control of the moment. Starscream's voice dripped with smug satisfaction as a loud gasp escaped the human upon feeling him slowly pressing his spike into them. With a loud groan and the static of Cybertronian leaving him, he firmly grasped their hips, keeping them steady as he worked his spike inside them. A smirk played on his lips as he relished in the moment.
"What was that about not fitting?" Starscream's taunting words filled their tight body, Whimpers, whines and moans fell from their lips as Starscream began picking up pace, enjoying how tight they felt around his spike, he hadn't interfaced with anything like this. And he was starting to see the appeal of such a soft and plush body. 
"Such delightful little sounds," he murmured, his voice laced with a newfound appreciation for the human's form. His optics flicker down to watcha s his spike slides into their tight hole, enjoying the wait their body almost moulds around his spike, relishing in the tightness and the softness that enveloped him, savouring every moment. 
They cling to him with each thrust, a symphony of moans leaving them. He continued to move with purpose, Starscream relished in the sounds of their shared pleasure, his coding singing in delight as his Spike swells locking them in place as he hunches over them, digits digging into the metal table and he snarls loudly. 
Starscream's frame trembled as the human's fingers dug into his plating, sending a shudder up his struts that resonated through his core. The intensity of their touch, combined with the overwhelming pleasure of how tight they are around his spike pushed Starscream into a feral state, his instincts taking over. 
He ruts his spike deeper into their smaller body as he overloads and coats their insides in a vibrant hue of fluorescent pink that pours out of their smaller body onto the table around them. His optics flicker down to watch the fluid drip and leak from the human's smaller frame, his optics darkening with a primal hunger. The sight of the shimmering pink fluid only fueled his desire further, his fans and vents blast hot air as they try to cool his systems. He doesn't move from his position taking time for his frame to reset and cool down from interfacing. 
The human lay under him in a panting mess, eyes closed trying to catch their breath in the aftermath of their coupling. "You're quite the pathetic sight, struggling to even breathe properly," Starscream remarked, his tone laced with a mix of irritation and amusement. They shoot him a glare before flipping him off. “Go fuck yourself” the huff out, chest heaving as sweat sticks to their skin.  
"You're lucky to have experienced such a moment with me. Cherish it, for it may be the closest you'll ever come to true power," Starscream's words dripped with condescension, a hint of sadistic pleasure colouring his voice. “go suck a spike” they grumble out trying to get the last word in over their argument. “I'd much rather feast on you” he rumbled, slowly pulling out, another flood of transfluid gushes out of their smaller body which makes them gasp and shutter. 
A smug satisfaction washes over Starscream before he drops back down between their tights. Glossa runs over their abused sex as he pulls them back to his intake. 
_________
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melannen · 1 year ago
Text
How To Make Your Own Fanfiction Archive, In Just Ten Easy Steps
As the go-to "person who knows about AO3" for quite a few people who read fanfic but aren't really linked-in to wider fandom culture, I've fielded a lot of questions about how to do certain things on AO3 to which my best answer is "you should really start your own archive!" I think, in general, more fans starting their own small archives would be a net good for fandom. AO3 was never meant to be the only archive for all fandom, or even the main archive, and the more spread out and backed up we are the more resilient we are.
But of course I have to be reminded that a lot of fans these days don't really have any idea how little "you should start your own archive!" really involves. (Also, that I should practice what I preach.) So I am now making my own fanfiction archive, and writing up this post as I do it to tell people how to make theirs!
Go to https://neocities.org/ and sign up for an account. It only needs a username (which will also be your website address), password, and email. Pick a username that will be related to your archive's title!
Choose the free account option (if you ever need more than what the free account offers for a text-only archive, you should probably look into graduating from neocities.) This should take you to a menu of "how to make a website" tutorials. You should do them! They're useful skills. But let's get your archive running first.
Hit the big red Edit Site button, or open the menu under your username and select "Edit Site".
Select the "Index.html" file to edit. You're now in an HTML Editor. Congrats, you're a web developer c. 1999!
Find where it has text between the < title> tags. Delete the filler text, and put in the title of your new archive. This text will be what shows on the tab when people go to your archive.
Find where it has text between the < h1 > tags. This will be big header text at the top of your page. Put the title of your archive here again. If you have no experience with HTML, you should read over the other sample text. It covers the basic basics very well! Once you've done that, you can delete everything else between the < /h1> tag and the < /body> tag. Save your index.html file.
Get an HTML file for a fanfic you would like to add to your archive. If it's on AO3, you can use the html download option built into AO3. If you have it as a word processor/google docs file, you should have the option to save as an html file. Save that html file to your computer.
Go back to Edit Site on Neocities and go to "upload". Find the html file you saved and upload it. (You can also drag and drop files to upload.)
The file you uploaded should now be showing with your other neocities files. Right-click on the title and select "copy link".
Go in to edit index.html again. Under where you put your header text, type < br> < a href=" . Then paste in the link you copied. Then type "> Then put in the title of the fic. Then type < /a> . Then save the index page again when you're done. You can do this for every fanfic you have.
Congratulations! You now have your very own personal private fanfiction archive that you are 100% in charge of and make all the rules for. It's at least as good as half the ones I was reading on when I started reading fanfiction and will serve its function well as a way to let people read your fic. You can link to it from anywhere you want! (Including your AO3 profile.)
Blogpost version, with FAQs and discussion
Anyway, here's my beautiful new fanfiction archive made using this tutorial:
Melannen's Fanfiction Archive
(I am honestly way more disproportionately proud of finally making that than I expected to be. It's nice to have your own archive.)
If you make one, share it here ! I want to see!
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vergess · 6 months ago
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Please, please explain how to install and use linux like I'm 5 years old. I'm so sick of windows adding AI and other bullshit to my already struggling elderly laptop but I'm really not good with computers at all so I have no idea where to start with Linux.
Okay, so, I'm going to break this down into steps I would give the average tumblr user first, and then if any of them are confusing or use words you don't understand, ask me and I'll explain that step in greater detail.
Step 0) BACK. UP. YOUR. SHIT.
NEVER EVER EVER CHANGE YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM WITHOUT A COMPLETE BACKUP OF ALL YOUR FILES.
Step 1) Learn your machine. You need to know:
How much RAM you have
If your processor is 32 or 64 bit
How big your hard drive is
On windows, you can find out all of this by going to the start menu, typing "about" and opening the first result on your system instead of the internet.
For additional instructions, visit this page.
Step 2) Pick your Linux.
There's like 10,000 kinds of Linux, each tailored to particular functions that the end-user (that is you!) might want to have. The sheer amount is very daunting, so first I'm going to give my suggestions, then I'll explain how to pick for yourself.
For Mac users, I suggest Kubuntu. For windows users, I suggest Mint Cinnamon. If your laptop is really REALLY old, I recommend Sparky Stable, which is the lightest weight Linux I would ever suggest for a new user. In every case, download the version suited to your processor (32 bit can be labelled "x86" or "32 bit"; 64 bit is always labelled "64 bit").
If you want to try a different type of linux, you'll need to make sure your laptop meets the "minimum specs" or "system requirements." These numbers tell you how much RAM, processor and hard drive space the linux will use. (That's why you needed those numbers at the beginning.)
Step 3) Collect your supplies. You're going to need:
An ISO burning program compatible with your current system, like Balena Etcher.
A copy of the ISO file for the Linux you want to use.
Your laptop.
An 8gb or larger USB flash drive.
Step 3) Make a bootable USB drive
Install Balena Etcher, hitting "okay" and "next" when prompted. Last I checked, Etcher doesn't have adware attached, so you can just hit next every time.
Plug your USB drive into the laptop.
Open Etcher.
Click "flash from file" and open the ISO file with your Linux on it.
Click "Select target" and open the USB drive location. Hit the "flash" button. This will start writing all the linux installer data to your flash drive. Depending on the speed of your machine, this could take as long as 10 minutes, but shouldn't be much longer.
Step 4) Boot to the USB drive
This is, in my opinion, the trickiest step for a lot of people who don't do "computer stuff." Fortunately, in a rare act of good will, Windows 10 made this process a lot easier.
All you'll need to do is go to settings, then recovery, then advanced startup and pick the button labelled "use a device."
This tutorial has images showing where each of those is located. It's considered an "advanced setting" so you may get a spooky popup warning you that you could "harm your system by making changes" but we're not doing anything potentially harmful so you can ignore that if you get it.
Step 5) Try out linux on the flash drive first.
Linux installs using a cool little test version of itself that you can play around in. You won't be able to make changes or save settings, but you can explore a bit and see if the interface is to your liking. If it's hideous or hard to navigate, simply pick a new linux version to download, and repeat the "make a bootable USB" step for it.
Step 6) Actually install that sucker
This step varies from version to version, but the first part should be the same across the board: on the desktop, there should be a shortcut that says something like "install now." Double click it.
Follow the instructions your specific linux version gives you. When in doubt, pick the default, with one exception:
If it asks you to encrypt your drive say no. That's a more advanced feature that can really fuck your shit up down the road if you don't know how to handle it.
At some point you're going to get a scary looking warning that says 1 of 2 things. Either:
Install Linux alongside Windows, or
Format harddrive to delete all data
That first option will let you do what is called "dual booting." From then on, your computer will ask every time you turn it on whether you want Windows or Linux.
The second option will nuke Windows from orbit, leaving only linux behind.
The install process is slower the larger your chosen version is, but I've never seen it take more than half an hour. During that time, most linux versions will have a little slideshow of the features and layout of common settings that you can read or ignore as you prefer.
Step 7) Boot to your sexy new Linux device.
If you're dual booting, use the arrow keys and enter key to select your linux version from the new boot menu, called GRUB.
If you've only got linux, turn the computer on as normal and linux will boot up immediately.
Bonus Step: Copy Pasting some code
In your new start menu, look for an application called "terminal" or "terminal emulator." Open that up, and you will be presented with an intense looking (but actually very harmless) text command area.
Now, open up your web browser (firefox comes pre-installed on most!), and search the phrase "what to do after installing [linux version you picked]"
You're looking for a website called "It's FOSS." Here's a link to their page on Mint. This site has lots and lots of snippets of little text commands you can experiment with to learn how that functionality works!
Or, if you don't want to fuck with the terminal at all (fair enough!) then instead of "terminal" look for something called "software manager."
This is sort of like an app store for linux; you can install all kinds of programs directly from there without needing to go to the website of the program itself!
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shalomniscient · 3 months ago
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MACHINIST! || grace howard x reader [NSFT][MDNI]
GOT YOUR BODY ON THE BED I CAN SEE THE PRESENTATION / SAID SHE A MACHINIST / BODY UNDER PRESSURE / I BE FIENDING / COMPANY YEAH I KNOW THAT SHE BE NEEDING
cw. reader is an android and has a robot dick (thanks grace), some praise, dumbification, established relationship, robotfucking (?), some breeding talk/breeding kink, switch!grace and switch!reader, handjobs, creampie, vibrators (technically)
notes. had MACHINIST! by Sh!nki on repeat while writing this, please do check out their song it’s genuinely so good !!! also shoutout to @nbdaddykink for enabling this brainrot
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“What were all the functions again?”
From between your legs, Grace looks up at you, sunset-red eyes glittering. The artificial cock resting against your thigh is attached to the rest of your body by a connective plate around your groin, the base measurements perfect to the milimeter. Somehow, Grace managed to get your skin tone correct as well, so much so the inter-plate spaces are barely visible. Distantly, you wonder if she used a color picker on you at some point without you knowing—you honestly wouldn’t be surprised.
It’s better that way, anyway. You’d nearly choked the first time she asked to take measurements of your crotch, and you don’t even breathe.
“Since it’s just my first prototype, Mark I, it’s only got a vibration function,” she explains. She trails a finger along the soft length—medical grade silicone, she had assured you—and nods to herself when you grunt in response, fingers curling into the bedsheet. “And the sensory input, obviously.”
“Right,” you huff. She continues to stroke you somewhat absently, more curious than particularly aroused. You, on the other hand, are quite the opposite—your entire body feels warm, too warm, and the small flaps on the vents along your back and shoulders flip up as your system draws in cool air to manage your steadily climbing temperatures. It’s almost embarrassing, the way Grace can get you overheating like some cheap laptop at the slightest of touches, but the she smiles when she looks at you like you’ve given her the answers to the universe and it’s rather difficult to feel anything other than affection in that moment.
“Feels good?” she asks, leaning up to get a closer look at your expressions. Your cock twitches in her hand, slowly hardening, and you give her a strained, wry smile.
“Quite,” you answer, sucking in a sharp breath as her hand pumps up and down. You’re only half listening to her explanation about the dick’s engineering—thin tubes reroute some of your synthetic blood into the cock when it’s stimulated (or whenever you please, really), making it hard, much like an organic dick. The real treat of her little— actually, no, relatively large invention is the fact that it can vibrate, and that you won’t get soft until you consciously make that decision.
“As for cum, I managed to synthesize something kind of close to the real thing,” Grace continues, her thumb swiping over the tip and smearing some of the pre-cum along your length, drawing a strangled groan from your throat. “But I’ll have to take it off to replace it once you’ve used it all up.”
You can only manage a grunt in response, hips twitching at her touch. You buck up into her fist, and Grace’s grin widens. “Are you getting close?” she asks, and you nod rapidly, utterly unable to form words. Pleasure clogs your processors, and your vision fuzzes blue at the edges. Grace’s hand moves faster, and she climbs fully into your lap, plush thighs on either side of your own. She leans in close, her breath mingling with yours before she kisses you so softly, experimentally, and it’s enough to send you over the edge with a hiss.
Artificial cum spills from your cock and onto her hand, a thick, creamy white that almost looks like glue. Grace pulls back and looks at her hand with pure marvel in her eyes, removing her hand from your still-stiff dick to note the way your cum coats her hand. She pinches two fingers together, then spreads them apart, and a thick, viscous string connects them together. The action is enough to make another shudder run through your wired nerves, and you grip her waist and flip her over onto the bed before she can protest or insist on writing down some preliminary observations.
She yelps lightly, but then her lashes flutter as you roll your hips against hers, the wet tip of your cock pressing against her clothed cunt. Your sensors pick up on her elevated heart rate and increased oxytocin levels, and you breathe out a pleased sigh, leaning down to kiss at her neck and down to her shoulders, your teeth scraping against the tattoo on her right.
“How about we move on to phase two of testing, hm?” you rasp. You roll your hips again, and Grace mewls, looping her arms around your neck and leaning back into the pillows.
“Th-that’d be good, yup,” she responds, and you smile against her. You kiss her shoulder again, and the saltiness from the light sheen of sweat on her skin blooms on your tongue. You draw back and make quick work of her pants, shimmying them down her thighs and discarding them on the floor. You can’t help the groan that rumbles in your chest when you note the state of her underwear—entirely soaked and clinging to the lips of her pretty pussy.
You draw a finger along the drenched cloth, and Grace squirms, the muscles in her stomach jumping at the sensation. “So wet, baby,” you murmur, voice low, “all for me?”
Sunset-red eyes meet your again, and Grace’s voice is deliciously breathless when she answers. “All for you, jus’ you.”
“Good girl,” you hum, and a full-body shudder runs through her at the praise. Grace has always been terribly weak for it; not that you mind. There’s little you quite enjoy more than telling your darling machinist how wonderful she is—if anything, you think she needs to hear more of it.
Your fingers find the waistband of her panties and you tug them off, tossing them into the same pile her pants have ended up in on the floor. Gently, you spread her legs a little wider, shifting slightly to position yourself correctly. Your tip catches against her clit and it draws a pleased noise from both of you, and you squeeze her thighs as a reflex, the flesh so plush under your touch.
“‘m gonna put it in now, baby,” you murmur, bracing yourself over her with one hand. Grace’s own clutch at your shoulders and she nods, her eyes blown wide as she looks into yours, and so you have the privilege of watching them roll back into her skull as you slowly sink into her, spreading her open on your cock. The first thing that hits you is how warm she is; the next is the tightness. You nearly whimper at the combined intensity of being wrapped by her perfect pussy, inner walls clenching as you sink another inch and then another into her slowly but surely.
Fuck, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to go back to using a strap after this.
Grace whines loudly once you finally bottom out, your hips meeting hers with a wet smack. Her inner thighs are smeared with her own wetness as it leaks out of her beautifully stuffed cunt, and you grit your teeth to hold yourself back from pile driving her into the mattress. “You okay?” you manage between lungfuls of air, inhaling more to cool your overheating components. Beneath you, Grace nods frantically, her face flushed and nearly as red as her irises.
“You can move,” she gasps as she wriggles her hips, chasing any sort of friction from your stationary cock. “D-don’t forget to try out the vibration function—“
You nip her rambling in the bud by both kissing her and pulling out until the tip, before slamming back inside. Grace moans into your mouth and you devour it greedily, like you needed it to keep operating. You give in to your desire from before and drive her into the mattress with such intensity that Friday could consider retiring early. Your mouth travels hungrily from her lips down to her neck, sucking and biting marks into the pale skin that you know will have Koleda aging another ten years while Ben won’t be able to look neither you nor Grace in the eye.
You nearly rip Grace’s bra off in your haste, fingers fumbling with the zipper. She sighs as her breasts are freed, then moans again when your lips seal around her nipple and sucks. You lave her chest with attention all while you pound into her cunt, the wet sounds of sex echoing all around the room. Her fingers dig into your back, blunt nails creating a delicious pressure that has you bucking just a little harder into her.
“Baby, I’m— I’m gonna—“ she mewls, and you fuck into her faster, utterly rearranging her guts. You’re sure if you look down, you’d see a little bulge forming over where your cock nestles inside her. But you don’t, not this time, because the sight of Grace’s debauched expression is already taking up so much of your processing bandwith. You push up on the bed, nearly folding her in half as your teeth ghost the shell of her ear.
“Gonna what, Grace? Use your words,” you breathe, and she whines, one leg nearly kicking out against you.
“Cum, gonna cum,” she babbles, arching up into your chest, spit-slicked breasts pressing against your chest. You manage a slight chuckle at that, but you aren’t better off either. That blue fuzz creeps along the edges of your vision again, and you know you’re close.
So what better time than to test out the final function?
Activation is impulse related, you remember Grace saying, which basically means all you have to do is think about it for it to activate. And activate it does—Grace screams as the vibrations come to life, buried as you are eight inches deep in her pussy. She bears down on you, hard, nearly pushing you out. You only grunt and put a little more force into your thrusts and Grace sobs fat tears of pure pleasure that you reverently kiss away. You see any higher order thinking skills fade from her eyes as she loses herself in the feeling of you and your cock in her cunt, and she looks so achingly beautiful like this that you can’t resist the urge to kiss her softly, a far cry from the way you’re fucking her almost ruthlessly.
“Good girl,” you pant against her lips. “Good girl, so good for me, my Grace. My genius girl, making me all sorts of toys for me to fuck her with, hm?”Only the whites of her eyes are visible as she slurs out pitiful ‘thank-yous’ at your praise. She gets impossibly tighter, and you know both of you are only seconds away from an orgasm that will have you undoubtedly short-circuiting.
You press a hand to her tummy, over the bulge your cock makes. “‘m gonna cum inside this cute cunt, baby,” you promise, trading your fast pace for slower, deeper strokes, practically assaulting her g-spot with pinpoint accuracy, made only more intense by the vibrations. Your thumb finds her clit and Grace howls, loud enough that anyone in the house would definitely hear. “Jus’ a shame this cum is fake—else I would’ve given you a baby like you want, hm?”
The combination of your words in her ears, thumb on her clit and cock in her cunt send Grace careening off the edge with a sound between a scream and a moan, her entire body locking up with the intensity of it. Squirt sprays out of her clenching pussy and all over your abdomen, and the sight forces you over as well, the blue fuzz swallowing your vision whole. You can barely feel the way your cock pumps the fake cum deep inside her, your hips moving entirely of their own accord as your system reboots from the force of your orgasm.
By the time you come to again, you’re braced over Grace, her legs locked around your hips. Your cock has stopped vibrating on its own, probably due to the fact you practically bluescreebed. Some semblance of thought has returned to Grace’s pretty eyes, and something flutters in your mechanical heart at the satisfied expression on her face. You brush a strand of dark hair out of her eyes, and she wordlessly asks for a kiss. You indulge in her request, lips meeting hers gently. You fit so perfectly against her sometimes you wonder if you were manufactured for her.
“I take it the first round of testing is a success?” you ask, and Grace laughs, her voice somewhat hoarse.
“Definitely.”
(For scientific reasons, you do another two rounds of ‘testing’—after all, repetition is good to ensure the accuracy of the result, right?)
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delta-orionis · 7 months ago
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Currently losing my mind a little bit trying to find an alternate name for the Recursive Transform Array/Abstract Convergence Manifold regions in Five Pebbles/Looks to the Moon respectively. I think both names mean roughly the same thing.
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(Left: Coils in the Recursive Transform Array, Right: Coils in the Abstract Convergence Manifold)
(Theorizing under the cut)
Both regions contain sets of large transformers (or inductors, they both look like coils) arranged into different groups. I assume the function of this region is to receive power from an iterator's power source (how iterators get their power isn't exactly clear- but at least in Pebbles' case it probably comes from the Linear Systems Rail) and step up or down the voltage so it can be distributed to the different electronic components of an iterator's superstructure as needed.
Stepping up/down voltage is the function of a transformer, which is where I assume the "transform" part of "Recursive Transform Array" comes from. In Moon's case, "abstract" in "Abstract Convergence Manifold" is a synonym for "transform" or "change", one thing is being abstracted, or changed into something else.
"Recursive" means "repeating" (and "repeat" is a synonym of "iterate", funnily enough), so this part probably refers to the multiple similar transformers found in the Recursive Transform Array.
In terms of the Abstract Convergence Manifold, either "convergence" or "manifold" could correspond to the "multiple similar things" meaning. The objects in question are "converging", coming together, or being similar.
"Manifold" is a bit trickier, the general definition means "variety" or "many", but the word has other uses. In typography, it can refer to the process of making copies of a document (via a carbon copy), and in engineering it can refer to a component that distributes gas or liquid to different parts of a system. So in this case, I'm going to assume that "manifold" means "copies" and/or "distribution". This makes sense if the Abstract Convergence Manifold distributes power (or maybe even Void Fluid) to different parts of Moon's structure.
And finally, "array" in "Recursive Transform Array" means a group of things arranged in a pattern. This is also probably what "manifold" in "Abstract Convergence Manifold" means; a group of copies of things.
Based on this, both names basically mean "group of similar/repeating things that change". This might not just refer to the groups of transformer coils, but also to the big square structures that both Pebbles and Moon have in these regions:
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(These rooms are very dark, I'm only showing Pebbles' here because it's better lit than Moon's.)
This thing looks like a big computer chip, maybe a Central Processing Unit (CPU). I theorize that this room is where the majority of an iterator's processing takes place; where the actual iteration (in terms of computing: repeating a process) happens. So the things that are repeating and changed could be the actual iterative processes (simulations, thoughts, calculations) are carried out, altered slightly, and repeated again.
(Side tangent: I've always wondered what Pebbles was referring to when he mentioned his "processing strata". It might be layers of processors located in his Recursive Transform Array, possibly in the same big room as the square thing. Personally I think the processing strata are the little blinking lights you can see in the background of this room, but I could be wrong. If anyone actually knows the answer please let me know.)
TL,DR: If you have an iterator OC and you want to give their internal regions names but you don't want to simply copy existing ones, I'm pretty sure the naming convention for the transformer arrays uses synonyms for (similar/repeating) (change) (group). For example, "Sequential Flux Assemblage", "Parallel Modification Cluster". These sound silly, but basically everything iterator-related is silly technobabble, so I think the moral is to have fun with it.
Thank you for reading, and let me know if you have any ideas. I enjoy talking to people about random Rain World theories.
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