#fun fact: you followed someone actually freakin insane

[purplebehittindifferent]

W-WHERE ARE YOU ALL COMING FROM???

[bluefirewrites]

not sure if u are still taking this but, celebrity/fan au for JUKEE 🤭

Okay this one's a little involved but I got you!

Rated T for mentions of sex and maybe some language

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

******

Julie tugs against the rather short dress Flynn had squeezed her in, not caring for how much she looks like a glorified candy wrapper in the shimmering gold.

She feels like she's some Ferrer Roche, waiting to be devoured.

Which seems to be her intention for tonight because she's insane, and so is her bestie Flynn, because she's supposed to grab the attention of a certain someone in this club.

Her motives for tonight sound like they come straight out of a Wattpad story, but her boyfriend- or well maybe an ex boyfriend now'- forced her hand.

So a year ago, right around the time they started dating, they both disclosed their 'hall passes'. Just a list of celebrities they were both 'allowed' to cheat on their partners with. It was fun. Just to see who the other person would pick. 

It was harmless because the whole point is that these people are so famous, so far out of reach, that the odds of hooking up with them would be essentially impossible.

Nick's was the lead singer of the world famous pop group Dirty Candi. And Julie remembers drunkenly applauding the choice ("She's pretty! Wowww you like them Bubblegum Pop girls?")

They had a laugh that night and Julie doesn't really consider that hall pass conversation all that much since then-

-Until fast forward to last week when Nick disclosed to her that he ran into Carrie Wilson at an event. And then promptly disclosed to her that he invoked his 'Hall Pass' rights.

His rights?! She had exploded at him, and he claims that its no big deal. That he thought she would understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, a crazy set of circumstances, and that- 'Holy shit Jules, she was actually into me. Like what?'

Understandably, Julie stormed out and has been staying with Flynn for the time being. And it must have been the haze of crying and watching a lot of true crime series to cheer herself up that she and Flynn concocted this... plan.

One fueled by spite and pettiness.

Get back at Nick, make him jealous, make him feel how she did- by invoking her own 'Hall Pass' rights- 

-which so happens to be Sunset Curve frontman, Luke Patterson... 

"There he is" Flynn whispers from their corner of the club and Julie gulps.

"I don't think I can do this," Julie hisses at Flynn, when they spot him at the bar, nursing a drink with his bandmates like he usually would (they did their research). 

See, Julie’s been a fan of Luke’s for a long time. Ever since she heard ‘Now or Never’ in freshman year of high school, she’s been hooked onto their music- especially Luke and his voice and playing. 

She had their posters on her bedroom wall and had been that girl who would (when no one’s looking) press her fingers to her lips then press them against Luke’s image before going to bed. 

It was that bad. 

And Julie had probably fantasized on more than one occasion of meeting him and all the other scenarios you would picture in a typical Celeb x Reader scenario. 

And she’d like to think she grew out of it, now she’s in her mid-twenties and just casually listens to Sunset Curve, following up on their careers every now and then. 

But you can never really shake your first major celebrity crush. Hence he had been on her so called ‘Hall Pass’ list. 

(”You into rockstars, Jules?” Nick had teased her that night.)

Seeing him there, in the same place as her, is so surreal, but Flynn’s continued pinches to her arm remind her just how real this is. 

“This is ridiculous,” Julie crosses her arms, ready to bow out because what is she thinking? Why would Luke Patterson pick her up, of all people, at the bar? It’s like a supermodel runway in here, filled with girls more accomplished and famous. Her confidence is shaken a bit and she rethinks everything. 

"Nick didn't seem to have a problem when he did it," Flynn points out, “And girl, you look great. He would be blind to not want you.” 

The mention of Nick still boils her blood, which only reaffirms her plans for revenge. She’s still nervous but they both stand up from their booth and walk over to the bar. 

“You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend,” 

“No. You’re musician extraordinaire, Julie Molina! The world may not have heard about you, but they will one day. I bet that’s something you can talk to him about. Music? Lyrics?” 

Julie could use her songwriting credentials to her advantage, “I mean I guess-” 

“Quick, he’s getting up!” 

“Flynn, wait I’m not-” 

With a forceful push, Flynn sends Julie into the path of Luke Patterson, colliding into him and effectively spilling his drink all over her dress. 

“Oh my god,” Luke gapes at her, “I am so sorry-” 

Julie fans herself, shaking slightly from the fact she’s drenched and also that her freakin’ high school celebrity crush is looking at her, actually talking to her. 

But she recovers quickly, and she speaks, “It’s fine. Really. I guess I’m just... clumsy.” She shoots a glare at Flynn, who merely winks and retreats to their booth. 

Luke grimaces and takes her by the hand, leading her somewhere, napkins in his other hand, “Here, let’s get you cleaned up. Again, I’m sorry. Hate to ruin a pretty... dress.”

It’s the way he eyes her that catches Julie off guard. He’s... not talking about the dress, is he? 

Julie reels it back in tries her hand at a joke, “I wouldn’t call this a dress. I feel like fancy leftovers in this thing.” 

Luke stifles a laugh, “Okay, I mean I wasn’t gonna say anything but yeah. I guess it’s a bit tin foil-y.”

“Not your style?”

His gaze drifts over to her one last time, “Well, any way to take a meal back home is fine by me. I mean-” Luke scrunches his nose, wincing, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. Shit. That was too... much. Are we-” he laughs nervously, “Are we still... talking about food?”

“Unless you just called me a meal. Then no.” 

The look in his eyes say that he’s absolutely mortified, “...yeah. I think I did. I was hoping that was a nightmare.” 

“Nope, it definitely happened,” 

“Feel free to slap me,” 

Julie giggles, somewhat delirious because she hasn’t tried to flirt with him but here Luke is, flirting with her. Or trying. And failing. Like a far cry from the suave rockstar she had pictured him to be. 

“No need. Just, can you-?” she points to the napkins he’s holding hostage. 

“Oh yeah. Here,” They stop in front of the coat check, and he hands her the napkins so she could try herself off with the best she can.

Suddenly, a weight falls onto her shoulders, she looks up and sees Luke draping a jacket over her- his presumably. 

“You looked cold,”

Julie wraps the jacket tight against her, relishing in the warmth, “Wow, thanks.”

Luke smiled and stepped back, “Just so you know, if I made you feel weird in any way, I’d like to throw out my third ‘sorry’ of the night. Nothing has to happen though. So, just say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”

Whew. Um, okay. Julie stands there, faced with this decision. 

The compliments aside (she will revisit those later), Luke’s giving her an out. Any reservations she has about moving forward with this plan, this is her chance to leave. 

She could just treasure these amazing few minutes for the rest of her life. This could be a story to tell friends at a dinner party, about the time a rockstar lent her his jacket. Would be up there with the time Jack Black passed her on the street and said “Nice hat!”. 

But-

Maybe she wants to see where this goes. 

“All this talk about food is making me hungry though...” she says and Luke lights up, “I could go for a bite to eat.” 

Luke snaps his fingers, “I know just the place.” 

*******

Half an hour later, Julie and Flynn are in a smelly alleyway with the guys from Sunset Curve, in line for a street dog cart just a couple blocks away. 

“An Oldsmobile?” Julie gawked after hearing Luke and the guys describe the delicacy, “Are you trying to poison me?”

“I swear by it,” Luke insists, taking her hand and moving them up in the line. Flynn sees this and doesn’t comment, but Julie’s starting to get used to Luke doing that, “You have to try!”  

Julie doesn't know when she got over her initial starstruck, but by now its so easy to treat Luke like a regular person.

Well, celebrities are all regular people in the end, but more so now that he and his friends, have their sleeves rolled up, smiles wide, ready to dig into what may be the most disgusting hot dog she has ever seen.

Julie takes a bite out of hers and her eyes widen. Wow. It's not terrible.

"Ayy! We got another one, boys" Reggie laughs, noting her reaction.

"Told ya" Luke needles her sides and she giggles, ticklish. Her knee jerk reaction is to playfully shove him, but in the process accidentally smeared some mustard onto his face.

Luke goes to lick it off with his tongue, making funny faces as he did which amused Julie even more.

"Here," she takes a napkin and wipes at his cheek, "Now we're even."

The whole group gets to talking over by the couches, while Flynn chats up the other boys, Julie and Luke are sequestered in their own corner, and yes, eventually the topic switches to music.

"Wait, so you know Rose and the Petal Pushers?" Luke chokes out, "Like everyone I talk to hasn't heard of them!"

"Yup. Have their record actually" Julie beams proudly, censoring out the part that its her mom's band and hence she has one of the few records ever released.

Luke is floored by that and continues to poke her brain for music and Julie finds that their spiels go on naturally, that she could probably talk with Luke for hours and hours.

Which ends up happening. Flynn had already made her escape, having texted her to come home safely, the boys had gone too, leaving them in the nearly empty lot.

When the food truck closes down for the night, they end up taking a stroll down the streets of L.A, talking and getting to know each other.

Julie learns so much about Luke, things she's never heard about from the press- like his songwriting practice, that he cries at Finding Nemo, and that he can do a cartwheel only when drunk.

And in return Julie shares with him her crazy college stories, how she misses her mom sometimes, and that she is encyclopedia of commercial jingles (a fact Luke exploits by rapidly quizzing her at random moments)

Somehow they end up near the beach, with Julie pointing out the different stars she could see, but finds that Luke isn't looking at the sky.

"Hey, Julie..." He gets her attention, "I had a really good time tonight."

"Me too"

"So... would it be alright, if I kiss you?"

Julie's mouth parts, speechless. It happened. Holy shit it happened or... is happening. She has Luke exactly where she wants him.

She could only nod and Luke takes it as the sign to lean in, but just as his lips is about to brush against hers, she freaks-

"Wait" she steps back. Luke opens his mouth, "No. No more 'sorry's from you. This one's one me. I'm sorry but... this- this" She sighs, "I have to be honest with you."

Then she tells Luke everything- Nick, The Hall Pass, her plans for tonight- basically admitting to using him.

When she's done, she expects for Luke to get angry, to leave in a huff and never want to see her again.

That's not what happens.

"This Nick guy sounds like a piece of work" he says.

Julie nods slowly, "Yeah... I guess he was. So maybe that's why I did it. But I don't think I could have gone through with it. Like I don't think we're together, me and Nick but-"

"You wouldn't want to do what he did. Because you don't want to hurt people," Luke surmises, understanding, "And by doing that, that means you're a better person than he is."

"I guess"

"No Julie, you're a good person" Luke insists, "Man, I think that makes me like you even more."

Julie laughs, "God, if my high school self could see me now..."

"You were a big fan?"

"I'm not having this conversation right now with you,"

"Okay cuz now you got me curious-"

Julie swats his shoulder but it doesn't deter the guy from snickering.

On a more serious note though-

"I think..." Julie hums, "I think this means that I got some stuff to work through. Before I could start considering... this."

"I understand"

"But thank you... Luke. For tonight"

"It's been real, Julie,"Luke smiles and pulls her in for a half hug, "And you should keep the jacket. Looks better on you anyway."

****

Julie goes back to Flynn's that night and her bestie's still awake, wanting all the deets. But there's not much to tell. Nothing happened.

She shrugs off the jacket and resigns to the couch, not caring that her makeup is still on. She's about ready to pass out.

Her phone dings.

She pulls it out and sees two notifications.

luke_patterson is now following you

luke_patterson is requesting to message you.

Curious, she accepts the request.

'here if you want to talk, Tin Foil :P'

Julie rolls her eyes and collapses onto the couch, sleeping with a smile on her face.

She doesn't know it now, but the oncoming years would be filled with more messages back and forth, meetups with their friends for more shady street food, building a solid foundation of friendship and eventually, when Luke asks again if he could kiss her, Julie would eagerly prop herself on her toes to close the gap.

Yeah, Julie's high school self would definitely be screaming...

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep7: Mai Gets a Day Job (Killing People For Sport)

So, I looked at the calendar and realized, if  I don’t get this post up this week then you’ll only have one update from me for the whole of November since I’m leaving for over a week again. :/ So I’m just gonna get right to the good stuff because it has taken just a crazy amount of time to get to episode 7.  How great would it be if I also got to episode 8. Real great, right?

So lets do this, I can do this, I can write a recap without getting insanely distracted, watch me do it: This episode starts with Tristan sticking to the fatal flaw of his character sheet and seeing listed at the very top “low key toilet obsession.”

Ah Tristan.

And when you think “well, OK, they’re stuck by some historic Mesas, this is fine,” suddenly they are beset by the world’s most random biker gang of like 20 full grown adults/biker assassins.

And it’s not super clear if their driver died out there in the Arizona desert, or if he just put on a different outfit and joined this gang, but it won’t matter because like...it’s a filler arc in Yugioh so there’s gonna be some deaths.

This season seems to change genre like every 10 minutes, and so for right now we are in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic territory and PS every one of these bikers uses a lead pipe?

I feel like this is way more violent than a gun???

(read more under the cut)

And so, out the horizon comes another biker, like a masked cowboy on horseback, except she shoots these things instead of bullets.

These are trained assassins, by the way, just completely incapacitated by paper.

I just love the marketing team working alongside of this show that’s like “and what else can Yugioh cards do? destroy biker gangs. That’s right, one single card will absolutely destroy a biker!” and the writing staff was like “yeah, we can work that in. That totally works in universe, you don't even know.”

It’s Mai! Back from murdering the hell out of Pegasus, I guess she decided to ninja these 20 bikers, and did it so devastatingly, that they somehow blew up a motorcycle next to a live fuel tank? Like we’re talking Oliver Queen precision throwing here and like...

...Mai’s only been gone like a year right???

And so, seeing that this card is a harpy, which I dunno...doesn’t seem like it’s all that rare in comparison to a Blue Eyes or a God Card or I dunno any of the other signature cards we’ve heard about, Joey immediately recognizes Mai. Despite the fact that everything she is doing right now is completely out of character, and despite the fact that they are in freakin California.

RIP to all 20 of the people in that gang of bikers, because no one followed this limo away from the scene--everyone was, I assume, hella dead.

Youknow, I never expected Mai to kill more people than Bakura. I would have predicted Joey before Mai. I would have predicted Rebecca before Mai. Literally anyone else on this show before Mai.

Seto, crawling out of this oversized castle that I guess...is back on the real estate market now...decides that the irresistible pull of dragons printed on paper cards is stronger than listening to his brother’s needs to put down the damn cards and make a contractually obligated theme park.

I mean Mokuba kept him off the cards for nearly a whole year. What a healthy year that was for Seto.

Back in Arizona, apparently they didn’t make it more than a mile before Tristan busted the car. Not really clear why or how this happened, but they’ve decided to argue with eachother about it despite the fact one of them is clearly magical and does not really need to eat or drink or even maybe sleep?

Like we’ve seen Bakura basically survive off of one plate of tacos and 2 pints of blood, so just make Pharaoh push the car all the way back to California. Or just make Pharaoh use his millennium AIM to call up His tomb keepers and be like “Marik, we need a lift.” or maybe summon a very real monster because that’s a thing now?

Course this would rely on Pharaoh remembering that he has superpowers, which, somehow after 4 seasons, he always forgets how to use the moment he uses them. It’s like reverse Sailor Moon--Usagi tends to level up her Super powers, Pharaoh kind of tosses them out of the window and goes “oops” and becomes more and more mortal every single season.

So instead of magic they will just use Tea.

Amazing how none of them are really willing to date Tea seriously but they will acknowledge, out of the four of them, Tea is the best looking. So their strategy, bear with me, wasn’t to use the fact they’re children to get help from adults driving by, instead, the boys hid behind a rock so they could really make sure they were getting a hella pervy truck driver that would only stop for a single teenage girl stuck in the desert.

Only this group of kids would be like “Hey lets make sure the guy who picks us up is statistically most likely to be a serial killer” and then, weirdly enough, this horndog pedo truck driver ended up being the only person who didn’t try to kill them this entire episode.

So, lets go back to SF but coming from the north side...which makes no sense...but then again, they put Mesas in Napa County.

So last episode I assumed Rex and Weevil were dropped off in Oakland, but Rex informs us this episode that they are in “the worst part of town”

Where they get robbed twice, only to be saved by Duke Devlin, who I guess just lives here now because maybe it’s the only place he can afford in this expensive as hell city? Maybe he isn’t bothered by the crime-rate after that week he spent on Kaiba’s blimp/Seaquest mmo adventure?

Anyway, for some reason Duke--who is a game shop owner/developer by day--is wandering around the Tenderloin as a vigilante and saving people by throwing dice at them as some sort of side hustle and this is never discussed at all.

I would watch that spinoff series. Religiously.

Fun fact, there is definitely sketchy and bad parts of the Tenderloin you will know not to go to (you can smell it actually), but like a third of it is part of the best shopping district in the city and we used to just shop there unsupervised when I was a kid. It has an Anthropologie.

Not saying the parts that are bad aren’t bad. Whenever I drive through the non-shopping parts, I see at least one super sketch thing making me thankful I’m in the car. But I just don't know how Rex and Weevil managed to get robbed twice in one day. Just go five blocks in literally any direction.

Bro and I were like...HOW did this shot happened from this angle on the freeway...and then I only just now realized it. Something I forgot about because it’s from my parent’s generation...maybe the animators weren’t aware that the Embarcadero fell down after Loma Prieta?

So this was the SF landscape before the quake of 89′ (Which I have no memory of since I was a baby when this happened)

and after 89.

Like maybe the animators they had on this team remembered an SF from their youth that had a huge iconic raised street wrapping all the way around one part of it and just...never got the memo that an Earthquake made the entire thing fall down?

Either way, Duke is either driving these two directly out of SF, or he is driving them into 1988 and is taking a lovely drive on the Old Embarcadero, an experience which does not exist anymore, and which makes a lot more sense since Duke has to be somewhat near downtown, going by the skyscrapers and the vicinity to the Tenderloin.

Man. In the Yugioh Universe, Loma Preita just never actually happened. How is that factoid alone not the weirdest part of this episode?

(I am so glad Serenity is not here now that Duke’s back)

Welcome back to the show Duke, glad you’re bringing...Rex and Weevil...

To be fair, Duke has absolutely no idea who is and isn’t Yugi’s friends. Duke just kind of shows up and pretends like he’s part of the gang, and the gang has lost so much brain matter from all the cards and all the dark magic, they just assume he’s been here the whole time.

So at first I was like “this has to be a pun on Industrial Light and Magic” since there’s virtually no other film studios in the city--but ILM moved to SF 3-4 years after this season came out. So it’s just a weird coincidence, I guess. Or maybe it’s just a really uninspired name?

And so Mai, who I guess has been just waiting on this ledge for 8 hours decides to drop in.

Mai has evolved a lot since S1.

But, although Mai is just...straight up evil now, at least we get to see it taken out on Pegasus who, as far as this show is concerned, is a pretty evil bastard.

A pretty evil bastard who took like 3-4 episodes to beat in S1 but Mai could just do it off-screen.

It’s just funny that the entire time on the island Pegasus was probably pretty sure everyone there was trying to kill him EXCEPT for Mai and then the moment his back is turned he’s like “oh whaaaat?”

Like Bandit Keith is already in America. But rather than use Bandit Keith for this, lets use Mai to give Joey something to angst about. We can’t put her in a coma again--so lets instead get her vaguely possessed. Although seriously, if someone I liked did this to me I think I’d be over that crush really fast.

And then, speaking of Bandit Keith, we get to have a Greek Chorus this duel from the minibosses. Valon and the other guy with the handlebar-muttonchops.

I looked up “where does Valon’s accent come from” and literally there is no consensus, as far as I know.

And that’s where this episode ends.

Now I’m gonna go out of town for a week and then will need another week to make more of these so I’ll be on another hiatus. Holding out if I’ll maybe bring a laptop or something to where I’m going so I can type out recaps when I’m bored.

The problem is having the uhhhhh photoshop to do the caps. I can’t bear to do this in MS Paint because hell will freeze over before I lose all of my actions and hotkeys I made specifically to reduce the time it takes to make these. But we shall see.

anyway, if you want to see these from the beginning, click here.

[thenightling]

The Dodged Bullet

Warning: This is deliberately bad!

The dodged bullet:  

The following is the horrific notion of what would have happened if The CW, Fox, or Syfy adapted Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman instead of Netflix.   This is going to poke fun of common tropes of Fox and CW shows.  See if you can spot them all.

I am going to deliberately write this very, very badly.

             The generically attractive young man in his early-twenties walked toward the crime scene.  He wore a long leather jacket, designer sneakers, expensive brand-name jeans, and a stylish and perfectly fitted black polo style shirt under the jacket. It was rumpled but just so as to hint at what a great body he had under it.  He had thick, dark brown hair.  Brown eyes, a smoldering gaze and a dazzling smile.  He’s Caucasian and generically attractive.  He’s thin but not rake thin, more like sexy male model thin.   He’s got muscle tone.  

           At the moment he looked stoic, hands resting in his pockets.  He crosses the yellow crime scene tape without anyone stopping him.  No one questions his presence but he is not invisible. This is “grounded” in reality, folks.  

           The Sandman solves crimes!  The Sandman is a private investigator with a secret. He is a real Sandman!  Hidden in his jacket is a leather pouch which will probably get used maybe once or twice an episode (budgetary reasons).   And he gets confused by certain social cues and pop culture references but otherwise he’s just a generic hot guy.

           He’s probably portrayed by a Tom Mison type. He might be American. There’s an English accent but it’s so slight (so hidden by Americanisms) that it’s almost undetectable.   He approaches the pretty, ninety-pound, college age female detective with perfect, blond hair.   She looks up at him.  

           “Hey, Murphy.” She says in a friendly tone.  Yes, Murphy is his alias. She thinks he’s just eccentric and thinks he’s The Sandman but he gets results!  

           “Detective Walker.” He smiled with obvious affection. He crushes on her, pines for her. But she mustn’t ever know the truth. It is forbidden for one of his kind to be with a mortal.  Even if she is a Vortex.  And her great power may one day destroy the world…  or save it!  That’s the real reason he was here, to watch her. He had never expected to fall in love with her…

The show has almost no scenes in The Dreaming and when there are it’s about 90% CG over green screen, like the Enchanted Forest sets of Once Upon a Time, or the under-whelming Hell of Lucifer.  There’s probably a throne room with a starry night sky behind it, and an under-whelming “vast” library on par with Belle’s library in Once Upon a Time that will be shown very rarely.

           “We’ve got another one.”  She said gravely.  “Eyes torn out.  Pretty girl. Whoever this creep is- this predator must be stopped!”   The implication here is the victims are all damsels who have been targeted by an evil man targeting them for misogynistic reasons.  But don’t worry!  The show is totally not sexist!   Detective Rose Walker kicks ass!   And in season four she’ll be raising her own long-lost little brother!  Even though it’ll take her at least five seasons to learn Murphy’s secret (if she ever does).  

           “I thought the ‘me too’ movement would have at least reduced some of this.” She said with a shake of her head in disappointment at the world.

           The line of dialogue doesn’t actually really make sense under easy scrutiny.  Why would “Me too” actually make a serial killer reconsider his life choices?  Oh, well, the audience doesn’t have enough time to question it.

           “Me too?”  The adorable, awkward, pretty “Murphy” questions.

           “Boy!  Where have you been?  In a cave?”            “Actually I was trapped inside a prison cell for a hundred and five years and before that I resided in another dimension.”

           She rolls her eyes.  “Not this again.   Tell me you can at least figure something out with your ‘Dream powers’” she said cynically.   He might have been insane and socially inept but he got results!

           Morpheus knelt down next to the body and placed his hands on the corpse. There isn’t even any SFX for this. He’s just sensing something.  He grunts in a sexy portrayal of sexy CW level pain.  

           “What? What is it?”

           “I think I know who did this…”

           “Who?”

           “Corinthian…”

             (Opening credits here.  Maybe the opening riff of Enter Sandman by Metallica.  No, wait, Fox and CW can’t afford that.   It’s Mr. Sandman by the Charlottes!  It kills the mood but everyone knows the song.  You’ll be sick of it by episode five if you weren’t already.  And it will get a LOT of use since the song is cheap / practically public domain.)

           The next scene is not present day.  It’s a flashback.  And by flashback I mean a hastily put together set in Vancouver Canada.  It’s probably someone’s private stables being passed off as a medieval village.  No, wait. Its eighteenth century.  There’s a sexy other character wearing slightly anachronistic style sunglasses hiding his eyes (No CG here, the production team figures the glasses are enough).  In fact his eyes might not even be weird at all. He just likes sunglasses!  There, that’s better, no wasted money here.   He’s wearing a badly fitted white wig over white hair.  

           “My king,” the sunglassed man says with a bow. We have to be blunt for our easily distracted audience, so there’s the reminder that this is the dream king. “Thank you for letting me accompany you to the waking world.  There are such delicious things here.”

           “Yes, the food is rather pleasant.” Morpheus replies. His costume is decently fitted but obviously borrowed from another show, possibly a left over from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Those props and some period costumes still get use.  Isn’t Morpheus adorably oblivious, though?

           Morpheus is wearing a dark blue frock coat and lace. His trousers are exceptionally tight to show off the actor’s perfect ass.

           The Corinthian’s costume is cream colored. There was a behind the scenes fight and as small victory for the one crew member who actually read Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman in getting the cream outfit.  Others working on the show wanted the costume to be black to make it more obvious he was the bad guy.        

           An attractive, tall, black man (probably American), under the age of thirty, is behind Morpheus.   This is his loyal manservant, Lucien.  But it’s totally not racist making the dreaming librarian / butler black when the show hasn’t had any black characters yet.  No, it’s inclusive!  

           The attractive black man speaks.  “My Lord, I think he intends to do harm to the mortals here.”

           “Nonsense, Lucien. I’m certain it’s fine.”

           The Corinthian wandered away from his master and he soon drags off attractive young female into an alley, hand over her mouth.   No, The Corinthian isn’t gay anymore in this version.   But it’s okay.  Hob Gadling, Morpheus’ immortal friend (who now runs a bar for some reason) is gay!  He’s very gay.  In fact that’s the extent of his entire personality.  But isn’t this diverse and inclusive?!   And there’s no more problematic gay nightmare, even though in the original comics The Corinthian gets uncreated and the second Corinthian is a relatively decent guy for a nightmare.  

           After some persuasion Morpheus finally listens to Lucien and walks down into the alley.   He stops in his tracks when he sees The Corinthian has killed the girl and his licking his fingers, having obviously already eaten her eyeballs (gotta keep that TV-14 rating!)   He lets out a gasp.  “Corinthian, what have you done?”

           We cut back to present day and “Murphy” is walking into the bar owned by his friend, Hob Gadling . Hob sees him and smiles. “Murph, oh, honey, you look like Hell! Come sit down and tell me all about it.   You know I love juicy gossip.” He says in a naisly, lisping voice.

Imagine this scene was written by some very straight guy whose only exposure to gay people were 1990s Will and Grace reruns.  

           Hob places a shot glass in front of Morpheus and Morpheus downs it quickly. “Have you seen Matthew?”

           Matthew was Morpheus’ straight human friend and roommate.  He had learned Morpheus’ secret in the pilot episode when Morpheus rescued him from a car accident using his dream magick.   Ha!  And you thought we’d have talking birds in this thing. Lol!  No!  Grounded, remember?

           “Matt?  Oh, sweetie, you can do better than him.  I keep telling you, he’s just not your type.”

           Morpheus raises an eyebrow but says nothing about the implication about his sexual identity.  There will be a LOT of queer baiting on this show without confirmation in regard to his sexuality.  

             “I need to talk to him.   One of my nightmares is loose in the city.”  You can tell this was written by a New Yorker because they take for granted “The City” to mean New York.  

           “One of your Nightmares?   Why couldn’t it be one of those sexy wet dreams?”  Get it?  Because if the character’s gay he has to always be horny!!!  Ha-freakin’ –ha.  

(Please know I don’t actually feel this way. I’m mocking bad TV writing.  This whole thing is a spoof.)    

           There’s an awkward pause intended for the viewers to laugh.

           “I don’t believe any water nymphs have escaped The Dream dimension.” Morpheus replied in confusion.

He calls it The Dream Dimension in the show because “The Dreaming” didn’t sound hip enough according to some executive.

“I’m afraid it’s The Corinthian.  So now I have two problems.”

Hob nodded sympathetically.  “The detective you might have to kill…”

“And now this.”   This is an idiot proofed recap for people turning on the show late or just watching it in passing while doing other things or playing on their phone.  CW does this sort of in-story forced, shoe-horned exposition all the time.

The episode plays out a little bit like an episode of Lucifer mashed into an episode of True Blood.

While they’re trying to find the killer, Detective Rose Walker meets Murphy’s roommate, Matthew, and the two hit it off while chatting about Murphy’s weirdness.  They decide to start to date.   As Morpheus has feelings for Rose that he won’t admit to this causes a strain between him and Matthew Raven (There’s that bird reference!  What?  That should be Lucien’s last name?  Naw!)  And between him and Rose Walker.  

Morpheus lashes out rather than admit to what he is truly angry at and he and Matthew argue over something petty and this leads to recovering alcoholic Matthew to start drinking again as sad music begins to play.  

Morpheus eventually finds The Corinthian and is forced to destroy him.  He had to kill his own creation so he is kneeling in angst crying prettily while the sand left over from the uncreation slides through his fingers.  Some new female cover of Queen’s Who Wants to live Forever? Is playing in the background.  The original version is “too old” and too expensive for use. So here’s a very generic sounding cover done in a style that makes it blend in with every other pop song played during the forty five minute mark of a CW show’s run time (including commercial breaks).  

           The song plays as we cut to Matthew drinking alone sexily in an alley.  He’s sweaty and wet, but he just looks like a wet fashion model.   Morpheus is sexy crying over the sand that was the Corinthian, and Rose going to sleep prettily in her bed, no bed head here.  Oh, and she sleeps in perfect makeup!  There’s no scene where she even remotely looks like she’s out of makeup.

 She’s having strange dreams but they look pretty mundane.  Like real-world mundane.  It’s her living room set that we probably saw a few minutes ago, just dimmer lighting and some haze to make it clear this is a dream.  Because even with a show about The Dream Lord, dreams have to have an old fashioned camera fringe haze.  Murphy is there with his back to her.  He looks sad.  He turns to look at her and she gasps.   She sees a star (lense flare) from Murphy’s eyes in the dream as he looks at her in surprise like he wasn’t expecting her to see him.  She wakes up with a gasp, and everyone in her apartment building also wakes up at the same time, signifying that their dreams were connected.

And so ends what was probably the third episode of CW (or Fox’s) The Sandman.  

And that is pretty much how CW or Fox would have done The Sandman.

[lanamemories]

hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!! 

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.

ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days

[theonceoverthinker]

Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way (Tiana/Naveen)

Summary: As Tiana and Naveen work the catering job of a lifetime -- for any place other than Storybrooke, that is -- they reflect on how much they appreciate each other. And maybe, a spark or two flies for their long overdue romance in the process.

AO3    Fanfiction.net

Dynamics Featured: Tiana/Naveen, Captain Swan (Mentioned, but don’t appear), OG Killian and Tiana, OG Killian and Naveen

So, for my 300 follower spectacular, the lovely @daeneryssansa requested either a Tiana/Naveen fic or a CS surprise party fic. Of course, being me, I decided not to just settle for doing one of those suggestions like a normal person, but to do both of them at the same time because I’m freakin’ insane!! Sound fun? I think so, but I’m a bit of a madwoman, so who am I to say for sure? Either way, as always, I hope you enjoy!

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

If there was one thing the former Prince Naveen of Maldonia could never see himself tiring of, it was the smell of hot food as it wafted through the air. Ever since he was a child, he found the smell of a baking oven or cooking vegetables to be a source of coziness that was all but unrivaled. Sneaking biscuits with his brother was one of his favorite pastimes and big banquets in their castle allowed for reunions with friends and family alike.

Yes, the enjoyment of food was something Naveen dearly loved.

And relatively recently, he found that the making of that food was something he quite enjoyed as well, especially with good company.

Speaking of...

“I love these Hooks,” Tiana said, stretching her arms above her head after placing a tin tray full of beignets inside the oven. “Between the one whose entire family makes it their goal to bring their co-workers by the Bayou and the one who now gets his catering from us, we never have to worry about hiring a marketing department.”

“You’re definitely not wrong about that. They are quite the patrons,” Naveen said. He looked to Tiana’s side and was amazed at the 25 trays they had filled up with all manner of Cajun delicacies and desserts, a testament to how much work they’d completed thus far. “You’d think we were in charge of feeding the whole town with the storm we’re cooking up here.”

“It’s Storybrooke,” Tiana remarked. “You know we basically are.”

“Does everyone around here always go to everything?”

“According to Killian, yes.”

Naveen sighed, exhausted at just that prospect. “My God. I feel like we’ve been cooking for a year.”

Tiana snickered, and Naveen was happy to hear that at least one of them still had spunk to spare.

“It’s been nine hours,” Tiana specified. Naveen groaned. They’d pulled an all nighter to prepare this catering job, and time was showing itself as to just how much of a toll that it now could take on his body, especially since Ella had to drop out at the last minute to care for a sick Henry and Lucy. What were the odds?

“Besides,” she continued, “we’re more than halfway done and well ahead of schedule, so that’s good! If we keep on working, we’ll be done by this afternoon and be right on time for Killian’s surprise party.”

How Tiana not only managed to be so chipper, but so organized so early in the morning was what Naveen found to be one of her best qualities.

That said, for someone far more lax, such as himself, it set a standard that he had no shame admitting he couldn’t meet so easily. “You know, Tiana,” he stated, “there such a thing as too much hard work.”

“Says who?” Tiana shot back.

“Says the bags under our eyes.”

Tiana chuckled at the half-nag. “Fair enough,” she relented. “Let’s take five.”

Naveen sat down on the kitchen table in Tiana’s apartment and wiped a row of beads of sweat from his forehead. While normally, they’d be doing most of their work at The Rolling Bayou, the volume of their current order required much more cooking space than their truck could provide.

It was an admittedly welcome change of pace from the stuffier confines of The Rolling Bayou for Naveen. It’s not like he didn’t like the truck -- he certainly did, but it was so nice to have some real space to work in and be able to sit down every once in a while on a real chair and not just some metal steps, especially given the scope of their current project.

For a moment, he mused on that project.

“He’s crazy about her,” Naveen remarked, looking at the literal mountain of beignets they’d prepared thus far. “Not only does he want to throw Emma a surprise party, but he’s inviting the entire town.”

“Some people will do a lot for love,” Tiana cosigned.

“Would you ever like a party like that thrown for you?”

Tiana shrugged. “I don’t know. I grew up a princess in a castle. I had plenty of parties thrown for me. I think my ideal birthday would be a night in, doing a bit of cooking.”

“Like we are now?” Naveen pointed out. While Tiana didn’t answer his question, she didn’t frown at him either as she playfully rolled her eyes. He decided not to push it and moved on. “I’ve also got to admit that guy’s money. If being a deputy makes you enough to throw a party like this without batting an eye, then I might need to give you my two weeks notice.”

Tiana smirked, clearly taking that possibility with a Rolling Bayou-sized grain of salt. “To be fair,” she said, “he did pay in dubloons, so I don’t know if he’s making all that much as a deputy. So, I guess you’re stuck here for now.”

Naveen returned the gesture and added in an eyebrow wiggle that had Tiana blushing. “Hardly a bad place to be.” They stared into each other’s eyes a bit. There was so much light and life in Tiana’s eyes, even so early in the morning. He could never summarize them as hard or soft, but at the same time, they were so expressive. And that’s what made them such a fun challenge to follow around. Tiana wasn’t so much a mystery as much as someone who even if he had an idea of what she was going to do or say, he wanted to see it play out all the same.

The last six months had largely given him that. Now free of Dr. Facilier’s control, he and Tiana were free to get to know each other. And that they did. To say their livelihoods merged would be an understatement. Not only did they still work together, but Naveen, still not admittedly ready for leadership, merged his kingdom with Tiana’s, much to the warm reception of his parents. It turned out that the three of them had gotten close and protected each others kingdoms in the wake of his absence, and Naveen couldn’t be happier about that, especially when it was clear that their hopes for the two of them were more than just a political merger.

Naveen couldn’t blame them -- he had honestly hoped for it too, and he had a feeling Tiana might as well. But he knew regaining her throne and then adapting to life in the merged realms and adjusting herself to her role in the Council of Realms was a lot to deal with, so he held off on voicing those feelings since the curse broke. If he knew anything about his lovely friend for sure -- and he did -- it was that she didn’t like to be overwhelmed. And it was fine with him -- more than fine. They worked together most every day and throughout that time, they’d only gotten to know each other better.

Which is why it wasn’t too much of a surprise when he saw Tiana -- while still on the break she herself proclaimed -- reaching for a bag of flour and a carton of eggs she’d no doubt use for her next batch of beignets.

“Lady Tiana!” he said with mock scandalization. “Are you breaking your own decree for a break?”

Tiana looked at him, pointed, but clearly not too annoyed. If anything, she looked a bit embarrassed.

Clearly defensive in the wake of getting caught, she held up a finger and attempted to dismiss him. “There’s nothing wrong with doing a little bit of prepping.”

Naveen shot her his own pointed look, albeit more tired and amused than anything.

“Tiana,” he said, getting up. “You are going to work yourself to an early grave.” His tone wasn’t so much overly concerned as it was tongue-and-cheek nagging. When he reached her, he got behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “We’ll get this done on time,” he assured her, allowing himself to be serious. “It’s like you said, we’re way ahead of schedule. A little break never hurt anyone.”

Sighing, Tiana loosened up. Naveen could feel the tension leave her shoulders.

“I know you’re right,” Tiana said, turning to face him. “It’s just...you know me. You know I’m-”

“Demanding?” he inquired cheekily. Tiana’s eyes bulged. “Pedantic?” Then her jaw slackened. “An overachiever?” Then she looked like she was going to retort, but he beat her to it. “A stickler?” Obviously realizing his pattern, Tiana shot him an exasperated look.  “Have a tendency to nitpick?” he offered, barely holding back his own laughter as he shrugged.

Tiana seemed to be reaching for a rebuttal, but seemed just as unable to know where to start.

And once again, Naveen beat her to one.

“But hey,” he said, his hand reaching for her shoulder once more as she stood there still dumbstruck. “That’s why I love you.” And then he winked.

That seemed to snap Tiana out of her trance and with a wicked grin, she paid Naveen’s words in kind with a playful, yet still hard, slap to his chest.

“Ow!” Naveen howled in semi-fake pain. “Well, we’ll at least be done especially fast if you beat those eggs like you just beat my chest.”

“You got that right,” she teased. “And by the way, I was gonna say ‘a perfectionist.’ Now come on, let’s get back to cooking.” Despite the fact that they barely spent any of their break actually relaxing, Naveen smiled as he followed her lead without question.

Yes, Tiana was indeed a perfectionist.

And Naveen knew he wouldn’t have it any other way.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

“So where is this party supposed to happen again?” Naveen said as he loaded some more powdered sugar into his shaker.

Tiana couldn’t help her smile as she gazed at the disaster before her. Not a pinch of sugar had made its way into the shaker yet, and you wouldn’t know that Naveen was even aiming for it by looking at his clothes. His shirt was positively caked in the stuff -- no pun intended...okay, maybe a little intended.

Naveen, either oblivious to his appearance or in spite of it -- both were equally likely knowing him -- gave her a seductive glance. “You like what you see?”

“Well,” Tiana pondered, still grinning. “You are pretty sweet looking, but that sugar’s not cheap, so don’t candy coat yourself just yet. Do you need some help over there?”

While Naveen looked like he was about to dismiss her held, suddenly, the bag in his hand missed the shaker once more and what Tiana approximated was at least another two cups fell all over him. When he stepped back from his workstation, his clothes looked as white as a Stormtrooper’s uniform.

“Yes, please,” Naveen answered, deadpan in his delivery. She could tell that while he asked guiltily, it wasn’t shamefully, and Tiana appreciated that about him. He knew she was the boss and while he wanted to get better, he also knew better than to deny himself her help when he was outmatched in favor of something as relatively useless as pride.

And that was something that she really liked about Naveen. Naveen was cocky, but never too prideful. He’d talk a big game but just as easily know when to fold for the sake of others. To do that required a unique kind of heart, one Tiana was happy to have in her life. It made the days less boring, but let her feel safe too -- again, a combination that was hard to pull off, but Naveen balanced flawlessly.

“Okay, let me show you how to do this so that my floors and your wardrobe can be spared any further drama.” She took the shaker off of the counter. “This shaker is only for the powdered sugar -- I even labeled it -- so you can just scoop it directly from the bag.” To prove it, she did just that before emptying it once more. “Wanna give it a try now?” It was a simple process, and one he probably should’ve been able to figure out himself, but given that they’d been working for about eleven hours, she could hardly blame the exhaustion from getting to him a bit.

Naveen smiled. “After such a good lesson, how could I not?” And then he did it without a single issue. Honestly, she had no idea how Naveen’s cursed counterpart could have flunked out of culinary school. Naveen took to lessons, even her more intricate ones, like a duck to water and internalized everything he was taught.

Or maybe, it was just a matter of how he was taught. Tiana’s cursed memories of culinary school did paint their professors as...lacking. Despite their prestige, their teaching styles were more in making students read as opposed to doing any direct kitchen work more of the time, and Naveen was someone who learned best by example. Even Tiana only remembered Sabine getting by because she took great care to do supplementary research, practice recipes and concepts regularly, and attend cooking seminars.

But over the past six months, every time Tiana walked through some new recipe or mistake he made step-by-step with Naveen, he grasped it immediately and never needed to be told it again. And that allowed him to make better cooking decisions and even help Tiana out with some ideas of her own every now and then.

Who could’ve guessed that he’d end up being so talented in a kitchen?

Naveen really did have an interesting brain -- one Tiana liked being around and learning about more and more with each passing day.

“Tiana, you didn’t answer my question from earlier -- where is Killian holding Emma’s surprise party?”

Now Tiana remembered.

“Oh yeah. He’s holding it on his ship -- the Jolly Roger.”

“That sounds like quite the party! A big party boat, some Cajun cooking -- sounds like Mardis Gras!”

“It really does. But don’t let Killian hear you call his ship a boat -- his counterpart doesn’t like that and I’m willing to bet that he likes it even less.”

Naveen raised his hands in mock surrender. “Fair enough. Getting arrested by one of them was more than enough of their bad sides for me. Still, it makes you think.”

Tiana raised an eyebrow, confused. “Really? I thought you guys were friends now.”

“Not about Killian -- about Mardis Gras. Don’t you remember how we -- Drew and Sabine -- used to talk about where they wanted to travel? Didn’t we say New Orleans was on that list and that we’d go around Mardis Gras?”

The feeling of recollection hit Tiana fast. “Yeah!” she said. “We said we’d get all dressed up for the parade, buy some masks from one of the local markets, and go on a food tour!” Tiana instinctually moaned at the idea of having some of the most authentic Cajun food in the world.

She might never want to leave.

“You know,” Drew said. “We can go wherever we want now. Once things calm down a bit more -- maybe we could take a vacation there.”

Tiana grinned. It definitely would be an amazing experience, and one of the good things about the merging of the realms was that there were plenty of rulers to have her back if she wanted to take Naveen up on his offer -- including her mom and his parents.

Maybe...it would certainly take a while before it could happen, but maybe in a year or two...they could actually go…

“I’d like that,” she said, content in the bit of finality that she gave her words. From less than five feet away, Naveen smiled at her. She could sense some surprise in his eyes. “What?” she asked, a mix of confusion and amusement that bordered far more on the latter clear in her voice.

Naveen put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m just surprised you agreed so easily.”

“You make me sound like a total buzzkill!”

“To be fair, before we met, you kind of came off as one.” Once again, Tiana retaliated with a smack to his stomach. But to his credit, he did have a point. Since that first chance encounter with Naveen, Tiana knew she’d mellowed out a lot. She’d grown more trusting and more willing to give herself a break from time to time. And while part of her wanted to claim that it wasn’t so true, as she thought on her life, she knew it was a change for the better. Relaxing a bit more had made her a better ruler and helped her to be both more realistic and more cautiously ambitious with her goals, especially since she put more faith in others now to help her achieve her goals.

“Careful, Lady Tiana!” Naveen said, his goofy smile so much wider now. “I can hardly go on that food tour with you if I’m internally bleeding from my stomach.”

Absentmindedly, Tiana shook her head before gesturing the two of them to get back to work. “No, I guess I’ll keep you in in shape for a while.”

And Tiana knew she wouldn’t have it any other way.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Naveen, whenever possible, cooked to music.

Music had its advantages. It attracted business, it made the work day feel shorter, and it allowed him to dance.

So when an upbeat party song came on, especially after the string of more lowkey numbers that made up most of their thirteen hours of work, Naveen wasted not time getting into his groove.

As he started to dance, Naveen rhythmically stepped back from his own workstation and towards Tiana’s, albeit with work being the very last thing on his mind.

“Dance with me, Tiana!”

He could already see Tiana’s hips swaying as he moved to hold her hand.

Tiana laughed and gravitated towards Naveen as he gently pulled her towards him.

“Well, I do love this song.” She winked. “And I guess my partner can probably keep up with me.”

“Oh I’ll do better than that!”

With that, Naveen spun her. He watched Tiana’s feet navigate their way through the spin. She was mostly on her toes and at one point, she even popped her foot. It reminded him a bit of a ballet dancer and made her moves all the more interesting to view.

“You are quite the dancer, Lady Tiana.”

Tiana giggled at the mention of Naveen’s nickname. It was a change that had happened quite gradually, but one Naven was happy to see. While Tiana initially snarked at her title being used as her nickname, she seemed fine accepting it as a running joke between them. But now, he could tell that when he said it, she liked it quite a lot.

Yes, Naveen took pleasure in his innate ability to endear himself -- and his nicknames -- to anyone with enough time.

When the spin was complete, she came back to him, their chests nearly touching while they held each other in their arms. “And you’re a pretty good partner, Lord Naveen.”

“Looks like someone’s got jokes. Nice nickname, my little rip off artist,” he commented, smirking.

“You know what they say: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” Tiana winked as the song came to an end.

Naveen snorted. “Well, consider me flattered.”

Suddenly, a nice easy listening number started up. A piano track began to play out, accompanying a smooth ballad sung by a talented woman.

Naveen drifted a bit closer to Tiana and smiled. “What do you say? One more dance?”

Tiana smiled right back. “You got it.”

And so, arms cradling each other, the two of them started to gently sway to the music. Naveen stared at Tiana. All around her was evidence of their crazy amounts of work. Bits of batter clung to her apron and sleeves and bits of powdered sugar from their earlier debacle were splattered across her hair.

In Naveen’s opinion, she had never looked more beautiful.

More than anything, he wanted her to know that.

Taking a deep breath, Naveen dared to lower his face so that it was a bit closer to Tiana’s. If Tiana had any objections, she didn’t give them voice.

In fact, she brought her face a bit closer to his.

Naveen questioned what he should do. This was one hell of a moment to make a move, but he felt he was ready, and maybe, she was too.

Well, there was only one way to find out.

With a gust of caution thrown into the wind, Naveen moved that last bit closer and kissed Tiana.

There was an immediate surge of relief as Naveen felt the impression of Tiana’s lips pressing against his.

She was really kissing him back, and he could feel her lips tugging in the direction of a smile.

With breath as baited as the circumstances would allow, he dared to sift his hand through her hair and bring her closer to him. For his efforts, he was quickly rewarded with a similar action done to him.

They didn’t kiss for too long before they pulled back for air, but they were both smiling when they emerged from the embrace.

Naveen laughed. “Well, it’s nice to have that settled.”

“I was wondering when you were gonna do that.”

“I’ve got to keep my favorite Lady guessing, don’t I?”

Laughing her own intoxicating laugh, Tiana brought Naveen in for another kiss, and that and the series of kissed that followed lasted through this song and the next and the next.

And Naveen felt comfortable saying that neither of them particularly minded.

After all, they were ahead of schedule, right?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Tiana chuckled as Killian looked at the fully stocked trunk of The Rolling Bayou. It always amused her just how much less familiar this Killian was with the culinary scene compared to the Killian she bonded with back in the Heights. He was so fascinated by the working of her food truck and took generously large breaths as he inhaled the smells of her food.

“So what do you think?” Naveen said, emerging from the driver’s seat of the truck. “Do you think Emma will like it?”

Killian beamed as his vision went up and down the truck’s stuffed trunk for what was likely the fourth time since they met up. “She’s going to love it! I can’t thank you enough, though I hope your payment and this extra tip is at least a start.”

Tiana eyed the new bag of dubloons perched in her hand, stifling her salivation at the bag’s weight. What did she and Naveen say about those Hooks again? “Our payment is perfect. You’re more than welcome, Killian,” Tiana said as the two of them eagerly shook hands.

“I hope this didn’t do too much to hinder your sleep schedules.”

“Oh, it did,” Naveen interjected. “Sixteen hours of work will do that to you.” As if on cue, both Tiana and Naveen yawned. “But,” he continued, looping an arm around Tiana, “it was well worth the trouble.”

“I see more than just my own romance is in the air,” Killian commented, smiling at the two of them while Tiana took Naveen’s looped around hand into her own. “Glad to see you two finally got together, though I do wish it was under less sleep deprived circumstances.”

“Don’t worry about it Killian,” Tiana waved off, looking up and smiling at Naveen. His expression informed what Tiana already had a strong feeling was true. “I promise you that we wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x09 discussion - Kane’s gone... O’s back bitches! And Bellarke’s besties?

This was a fantastic episode. Filled with emotions, action, and morality. But I needed a little more from certain scenes. It’s such a shame that this show only has 13 episodes, which results in the pace being way too fast and certain things left out. And the anomaly still remains well, an anomaly.

Since I’m pressed for time today, this will be short, I can’t go into too much detail but I will do a detailed Bellarke discussion tomorrow. That said, let’s get into the recap.

Bloodreina no more

So, Octavia wakes and remembers nothing from the anomaly. Convenient. This will most certainly come back into play. Like I said before and Gabriel confirmed, that is a younger version of Octavia. They’re saving the best details for last.

The red sun toxin makes any living being want to kill themselves, and humans weren’t supposed to survive on the moon, yet they found a way - Hmmm interesting, what does this mean for the future of our beloved heroes.

Even though O knows the dangers, she takes the toxin anyway to help Gabriel and Diyoza in some way I suppose. If they find out how the anomaly works, they can save her.

It seems like she followed the red light because she needed redemption and what better way than to throw her in the fighting pit herself. Like Bloodreina said in 5x02, “The Gladiators were given a chance to fight for their freedom and so will you.” She needed to battle the monster inside in order to be freed.

That scene with Pike returning was A-MA-ZING and the callbacks to Lincoln’s death a much-needed propeller. Kudos to the writers here. Both Marie and Michael delivered a spectacular performance and conviction of her redemption. Her past is filled with horrible features and some argue she doesn’t deserve it, but if you have true remorse, atonement can be given to anyone.

It’s fitting that Pike was the angel and Bloodreina the devil in her head. The loathed Skaikru leader killed the love of her life which triggered the hate inside of her. Octavia’s ‘unnecessary’ vengeance gave birth to Skairippa. He symbolizes her verge of evil while Bloodreina was her complete descent into darkness. All she needed was a hand to pull her back into the light.

Fun fact, Einstein actually never said, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”

One last thing - I like Gabriel and Octavia’s relationship and I feel something blooming here.

May we meet again, Kane

First off, I cringed at the Gavin!Kane and Abby scenes. I literally could not watch. It was awful knowing that it’s Kane but not really him, it felt like Abby was cheating and it was just a big no from me. I’ve never been a Kabby fan, mostly because I’ve never liked Abby’s character but they loved each other. I’d like to hear what Kabby shippers thought of it?

What I did appreciate is that he acknowledged his scars as a part of him. No matter how much we try to deny it, our past makes us who we are, the good, the bad and the ugly. He learned from his mistakes, each one of them and tried to do better. Like Abby pointed out, he symbolized hope.

Every week I question why the nulls worship the primes, and now it makes a little more sense. Gavin’s wife believes he’s still in there - they have no idea how it works. They are blind to the fact that hosts are murdered and replaced with chips. Their society assumes the primes are reborn within the eligible bodies - that the primes are indeed gods.

Applause to Raven this episode. Sure, she wasn’t a centerpiece, but her actions saved the day. Her asking Kane about the acceptance of his new body set they’re whole plan in motion. I’m also glad that she acknowledges helping Abby as a mistake, which shows that she does question her own moral compass, unlike previous episodes.

Talk about great platonic relationships - Kane and Indra are one of my favorites. Their deep level of respect for each other is always a pleasure to witness. Indra is and always has been a strong and supportive character. She explains why the Sanctum lifestyle is not much different than their own but Kane has changed, he condemns all their previous actions and convinces her to take the right path.

I knew Kane wouldn’t be happy with his new body, yet I didn’t expect the sacrifice. And once again well-done to the writers for giving him a heroic death and a heartwrenching sendoff. Say what you want, but someone needed to get rid of the nightblood serum and he used his new body for a good cause.

And now they have Simone as a hostage and a bargaining chip!

I won’t let you die  - was not what Bellamy should’ve said

I have no idea what to make of this. And I’m gonna go into a lot of detail with Bellarke tomorrow but it needs to be said that calling them besties is disturbing. Josephine tells Bellamy that he’s killing all three of them including his friends and asks if Clarke is really worth it. He doesn’t respond, but struggles with the decision. Because even though he knows she’s trying to break him, it’s true.

One question, why do they keep using the word ‘care’? “... unless someone you care about is in trouble, then you do what has to be done.” Do best friends not love each other? I love mine, very much. Monty and Jasper loved each other and acknowledged it, why not here?

Josephine then calls him out on caring more about Clarke. This is a circus. It’s hurting both Bellamy and Echo’s characters. Echo is a spy, smart and witty, yet she hasn’t questioned his ‘dedication’ to Clarke once. I know she’s not the jealous type, but if Josie, Jordan and 90% of the viewers see it, she must surely notice it too. And her being all acceptive is not believable.

Not to mention it’s making Bellamy look like an ass for abandoning all his friends and his girlfriend (who is supposed to be his first priority) to save his ‘bestie’.

So, Josephine is still in love with Gabriel? Wow, wasn’t expecting that one. Which results in Diyoza being wrong about her just looking to get laid and ultimately about “The hostage-taker and his girlfriend.”

And Clarke Griffin has a sense of humor. B-O-O-H-O-O! Loved that little morse code line. But the “I won’t let you die” afterward, is bs. The intensity in that scene is palpable. He looks at her with so much compassion when he finds out she can hear him like there’s so much he wants to say. “I love you.” for one? I believe he realizes she might die and wants to, but decides he won’t let it happen and tells her that instead. It’s so sincere, that it scares Josephine.

Again, the term ‘besties’ is frustrating as hell. Well, they are, I guess. It just gives me the idea that the writers have decided to go the Harry-Hermione route with them. Wasting six seasons of development and immense potential in the process. But while they’re both breathing, I’ll still have hope.

Badass Clarke is the absolute freakin’ best. Taking down three people by herself, teaching herself to drive a motorcycle and speak Mandarin via Josie’s mind - Standing ovation.

Once again we see Bellarke’s bond when Clarke refuses to leave without Bellamy and he, in turn, refuses to let her stay - just let it be for heaven’s sake.

Let me know what you think. See you tomorrow!

[ladyscribbles]

Plot Stumbler: Chapter 1

The day I encountered the trapped-in-a-different-world trope for myself started as a frosty December morning. I was wearing a red plaid skirt with black leggings and--for some reason--only a black sweater. I shivered as I walked down the street, not going anyway in particular. I’d just wanted to escape. 

“Why the hell are you home so late?!” my mother yelled the instant Dad slunk inside. 

“Why are you yelling at me? I told you I was going to be late,” he said in a subdued and quiet voice. 

“Not four hours late! You’ve been hanging around that Akemi bitch, haven’t you?!”

“You think I’m the kind of person that would sleep with her behind your back? You honestly think I would do that to you?” he asked calmly.

“Considering how late it is, yes!”

“For your information, I was stuck in two surgeries.”

“That’s what they all say!”

Irritation crept into his voice. It was clear he was getting tired of her bullshit. “It’s my job. Are you saying I should just go tell those people to screw off because my wife wants more quality time with me?”

“You think I’m that horrible of a person?!”

“It seems like it.”

“Ugh! I can’t believe you!”

“Stop shouting. You’ll wake up Melanie.”

“You just don’t want to hear me tell it to you straight, you non-confrontational, cowardly bastard!”

He growled in exasperation and then happened to look up. His eyes widened the moment our eyes met. Mom turned too, and she gaped at me like I was an alien from outer space. “Then go tell your daughter why she’s awake at two in the morning,” he said without taking his eyes off me.

I closed my eyes. My mom was such a bitch. Not even I could stand her, and I was her own daughter. How my dad did it, I had no idea. Honestly, why didn’t my dad just leave her ass already? 

I sighed and opened my eyes. I then noticed that there was a rabbit sitting in front of me. A rabbit? Here in the city? I shrugged and got into a crouch. I reached my hand out to pet it. 

“Don’t! It’s dangerous!” someone yelled behind me. 

I frowned as I froze. Dangerous? But it was just a little rabbit. How on Earth--

Then suddenly, the rabbit grew to ten feet tall and half as wide, and its teeth were replaced by huge, razor sharp teeth! I gasped as I fell backward onto my rear end.

What the hell was that thing?

It growled, drool escaping from its mouth. Then it lunged. I screamed just as I was grabbed from behind. We whizzed right by the monster rabbit. Whoever had me released me, and I whirled around to find a black woman around my age. 

She had a curly rainbow mohawk, the first thing I noticed. She also had shockingly violet eyes that almost seemed to glow. They looked even stranger in contrast to her burnt umber skin. 

She was wearing a shoulderless long-sleeved shirt that was black except for its sleeves, which were rainbow. There were also shoulder straps of a black tanktop that was underneath her shirt. There was a black choker with a rainbow heart-shaped charm on her neck. She had black jeans and a white belt on, and on her feet, she wore black combat boots. 

I sure couldn’t say she’d blend in with the crowd.

She nodded to me and turned her attention to the rabbit. I gaped as she charged toward the monster. Was this lady nuts? Then she held out her hand, and a giant sword appeared out of nowhere! It dropped into her hand and began to glow in all the colors of the rainbow. 

She ran toward the monster and then jumped even higher than the rabbit’s height! She yelled as she raised her sword overhead. She brought it down and sliced it in half. The monster rabbit howled in pain as it disintegrated into dust.

The woman landed on the ground gracefully like a freakin’ ballerina and then turned to me. There was a grin on her face. “Well, that was fun,” she said with a slight African accent (of which country, I had no idea).

“Who are you?” I asked. 

“Name’s Avana,” she replied. Then a rift in the atmosphere appeared. Avana placed her sword into it, and the rift disappeared. 

“W-what was that?!” I stammered. 

“My stash,” Avana said. “That’s where I keep Kiburi.”

“Kiburi?”

“That’s the name of my sword.”

Okay, this lady actually named her sword? And had violet eyes. And a rainbow mohawk?! Not to mention she just killed a freakin’ monster rabbit! What was up with all that?! What the hell was going on here?!

“Considering you saw that, I’m going to guess you’re the one.”

“The one what?”

“You know, the one. You watch movies, don’t you?”

“I don’t live them, so can you please just go?”

“I’m afraid I can’t. And please, let’s skip the whole ‘you’ve got to be mistaken’ thing.”

“But--”

“Normal people aren’t supposed to see those creatures. Or me, for that matter. But you did.”

“Uh...you’ve got to be--”

“You’re going to say it, aren’t you? Even after I asked you not to.”

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“You’ve got to be mistaken?”

  “Darn it. You just had to do it, didn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just had to go the cliché route.”

“Uh…”

“Okay, anyway, since you’re the one, you’re going to make Ytol great again.”

“Like Trump?”

“God no! Wait, who is he?”

“Uh, so what exactly is Ytol?”

“Let me show you,” Avana said as she grabbed my arm. 

“What are you-”

Suddenly, I was standing in the middle of a lake. I looked down. Whoa, hold on! I wasn’t standing in the lake but rather on it! I was standing on water! Since when had I become Jesus?!

Whatever was keeping me standing collapsed, and I plunged into the icy water below. I gasped and immediately regretted it as water started rushing into my mouth. I felt something tug on my feet and pull me down deeper into its depths. I widened my eyes when I saw a gaping black hole at the lake’s bottom. I screamed, drawing in more water, as I was sucked into it. 

Then my feet were on solid ground once more. I immediately collapsed and started coughing and spluttering. Bile rose in my throat, and I vomited. I heard a chuckle from behind me and turned. Avana was there, and she was grinning. 

“Yeah, it takes a while to get used to that.”

“What was that?” I asked after wiping my mouth with my sleeve. 

She took my hand and hoisted me to my feet. “I call it the in-between. It’s where you go between teleportations.”

“Whoa, hold on, we just teleported?”

“Duh. So anyway, this is Ytol.” I then took my first look at my surroundings, and my eyes bulged out of my skull so much I was sure they’d pop out. The sky was pink, the clouds purple, and the grass orange. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a shock the first time.”

I frowned. First time? “How many times have you done this?”

“Enough,” she replied just before dropping to the ground. 

I widened my eyes and ran to her side. I turned her so she was now lying on her back and saw she was unconscious. At least, I hoped so. I felt for a pulse and froze when I didn’t feel one. 

Oh, God. 

Panicked thoughts began to invade my head, but I quickly pushed them away as I got into position. There was no time for that. 

I put my lips on hers to blow air into her lungs when suddenly, I felt Avana grab the back of my head. She held it tightly as she kissed me. I widened my eyes in shock and jerked away from her. 

She opened her eyes and then widened them in horror. “Oh, shit! You’re not--”

“Uh…” was all that came out of my mouth, too stunned to say anything else. My heart was beating so fast I was sure it was going to burst out of my chest--whether it was out of fear I didn’t know. And I couldn’t get the taste of coffee out of my mouth. 

I love coffee. 

SHUT UP!

“So...um...that happened.”

“You...you didn’t have a pulse so I was just…just...uh…” At this point, I was sure my cheeks were redder than beets. And by the way, you taste like coffee…

Oh, my God, SHUT UP!

She burst into laughter. I frowned, but she didn’t seem to notice. In fact, it took her a good few minutes to stop. Why she’d laughed that much, I didn’t know. It hadn’t seemed very funny to me. She wiped away the tears that’d welled in her eyes. 

“No wonder you panicked! I guess I should’ve told you earlier: you won’t find a pulse on me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” I must’ve misheard her. I must’ve. 

“That’s what happens when you go through the in-between too much. You turn as much in-between as it,” she said with a hollow smile. As in-between as it? What did she mean by that? She saw my confused look and sighed. “You’re not dead, but you’re not alive either. You’re just in-between.”

My blood ran cold. “You’re kidding, right?” 

But her pulse…her pulse…

“Nope,” she exclaimed cheerfully--obviously fake--as she rose to her feet. 

I pinched the bridge of my nose tightly and took deep breaths. This was crazy. This was insane! A person couldn’t just not have a pulse! That was unheard of! At least when it came to the living! 

You’re not dead, but you’re not alive either. You’re just in-between. 

No! No way! There were only two options! Either you’re alive or you’re dead. Simple as that. There was no in-between. There shouldn’t have been any in-between! 

“And you’re just okay with this? This crazy-ass phenomenon that’s breaking every law of science?!”

“No, but all the same, I’ve got to deal with it, because that’s my reality now,” she said in a hardened voice. 

I stopped, sensing there was much more under the surface than she was letting on. “Okay, so you said I’m the chosen one or whatever?” I asked instead, changing the subject. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, there’s this real evil ruler on Ytol who needs to be defeated. Yeah, I know, what a cliché, right?”

No kidding. Then again, clichés were easy to understand, I supposed. They were easy to follow, since I’d seen them so much before in movies. The trouble was, this wasn’t the damn movies.

“So, I’ll have to defeat said ruler?”

“Exactly. You’re pretty sharp once you get over the initial shock of it all.”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Anyway, how the hell do you expect me to defeat this king or queen or whoever?”

“First off, it’s an empress. Second off, your first step will be to summon your weapon.”

“My weapon?” 

She held out her hand, and her rainbow sword--Kiburi, I remembered--appeared. In the split second that it appeared, I saw a hole open up in the air, big enough for the sword to travel through. Then less than a second later, it was gone. I was shocked that I’d even noticed it this time, considering how quick it’d happened. 

“Yeah, like I said before, I have a stash.”

“And how the hell did you make that ‘stash’, or whatever the hell you call it?”

“I didn’t. Someone else did.”

“Who?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know it’s mine now.”

“And what makes you think that?” 

She handed the sword to me. I picked it up and immediately dropped it. God, it was heavy! How was she able to swing this thing?! She picked it up from the ground with ease. “It’s just the right weight for me, and only me.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. This thing’s just freakin’ awesome!”

“Is that why you named it Kiburi?” I asked, guessing its meaning was somewhere along the lines of “awesome”.

“No,” she said in a suddenly solemn voice. 

I blinked in surprise. Okay, touchy subject, then. “Um, okay, so am I supposed to get a weapon too?”

“Probably. Considering you’re the chosen one.”

“Okay...so...what do I do?”

“Just hold out your hand.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, you also have to look like you’re constipated.” I glared at her, which, to my disappointment, didn’t seem to faze her at all. “Alas, she saw right through my ploy,” she muttered with a grin. She then cleared her throat. “Yeah, just hold out your hand.”

I held out my hand and waited. And waited. But nothing happened. “Um...is something supposed to happen?” Or are you just pulling my leg again?

Avana frowned as she approached me. She stared at my empty hand, and then she started walking around it, observing it from every angle, as if she was some kind of scientist studying her specimen. Finally, she shook her head and straightened herself.

“That’s so weird. I would’ve thought you’d have one, considering.”

“You know what? Maybe I’m not ‘the one’ like you thought.”

She shook her head. “No way. You’re the one.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“White and straight. Obvious chosen one.”

I widened my eyes, and she grinned. “Just kidding. Seriously, though. I can just sense it.”

“You can sense it,” I replied skeptically. 

Avana raised her brow. “A doubter, huh? Well, if you’re looking for proof, I’ll just take you to a guy I know.”

“One of those wise old men?”

She grinned and tipped her imaginary hat to me. “Well, well, well! Someone’s been paying attention to her clichés.”

“Um, yeah. So where is this guy?”

She turned, and I followed her gaze to a single, unbelievable huge building that was probably as wide and long as a castle and way taller than any skyscraper I’d ever seen! It was actually higher than the clouds! I had to squint, but at the top, I could see that more construction was going on. 

“That’s a big-ass building,” I said in wonder. 

“That’s Ytolia City.”

I turned and gaped at her in astonishment. “That’s a city?!”

She nodded. “Yeah. The capitol of Ytol, too. Anyway, here in Ytol, rather than take up a bunch of land, they just keep building up and up and up. That thing there has hundreds of floors--some of them are dedicated just to living space.”

“You know the dimensions?”

“I wouldn’t bother telling the height to you now since it looks like they’re building more up, but the length and width won’t change, I’m sure. It’s six thousand by six thousand feet.”

“Jesus. You said the city residents live in there?”

“Yeah. Each apartment’s about one thousand square feet, so there’s about thirty-six thousand apartments per floor. They’re all interconnected too.”

“Oh my God! How many floors are dedicated to apartments?” 

“I’d say at least twenty. Maybe thirty.”

I ran the math through my head. “So there’s 720,000 to 1,800,000 apartments in that building?” 

“Ooh, a math whiz over here. Anyway, yeah, your calculations sound right.”

I shook my head in disbelief. And I didn’t even know how many people lived in each apartment! God, this building must’ve had millions, maybe even tens of millions, of people living in it! All in a single building! 

“Yeah, crazy right?”

Crazy didn’t even cover it! And those floors were just a small percentage of the building! “What are the other floors used for?”

“Name it, they’ve got a floor for it. Restaurants, fast food, groceries, clothes, video games,, sports, holiday stuff...you get the idea.”

“So each of the floors is dedicated to one thing?” I asked. 

Avana nodded. She then giggled as she blushed. “There’s even one full of stripper bars,” she hissed in my ear. 

My cheeks flushed red about the thought of such a place. “I’m never going to that floor,” I muttered, to which Avana roared with laughter. 

“Yeah, no kidding!” she exclaimed. “I only know about it because I had to pass it to get to the library floor.”

I perked at that. “Library floor?”

Avana grinned. “You a bookworm too?” 

A bookworm? That was an understatement, considering I’d bought a hundred books from a library book sale for just twenty-five bucks once. Or maybe it was twice. My room at home was practically a library, considering the walls in there were lined with bookshelves! 

I then frowned. Home. I wonder if Dad misses me. Does he know I’m gone? Is he out looking for me? Then a much more bitter thought entered my head: I bet Mom wouldn’t even notice. 

I sighed, and Avana must’ve noticed, because she asked, “Is everything fine?”

Hell no, I thought. But all I said was, “Yeah. Just getting a little homesick, I guess.”

“You won’t see me getting homesick,” she replied bitterly, and her accent became much more pronounced than before. For a second, the darkest of looks spread across her face, but it was gone in a second. She shook her head, as if to snap herself out of a trance. “Let’s go,” Avana said as she started walking toward the building in the far distance. 

I nodded and almost had to run to catch up with her lengthy strides. God, her legs were long! I commented on this, and she smiled at that. “Yeah, I’m a real good runner. They used to call me Umeme.”

“Is that Swahili?” I asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah. I ran faster than the electricity in a new home ever could. That’s what they said, anyway.”

“Do you like running?” 

“Had to, considering I ran everyday.”

“For fun?”

“So my guy’s on Floor Sixteen.” It didn’t go unnoticed by me that she’d deliberately avoided my question by changing the subject. However, I didn’t press her about it, since it was her business and hers alone.

“Um, what’s he like?”

“He’s wise.”

“That’s not much of a personality.”

“It works in the movies, doesn’t it?”

“Well, this isn’t the movies, last I checked.”

“Okay, well, he’s loud.”

“How loud?”

“You go to church?”

“Um, no. I mean, I’m religious, but I just don’t go to church.”

“Gotcha. Anywho, church--at least the one I went to--was what you’d call a ‘black’ church. Everybody was black--duh--and everybody was up on their feet and singing and dancing to their hearts’ content until the walls were shaking, both the chorus and everyone else. This could go on for eternity--us singing and dancing and praying to Jesus until the Holy Spirit finally left us.”

“Wow, that sounds way different from the church I went to once when I was little. We just sat quietly at the pews while the pastor read straight from the bible. No singing.”

“Yeah, that’s funny, hearing ‘quiet’ paired with ‘church’. When we weren’t singing along to the hymns with the chorus, the pastor would bellow at the top of his lungs about the Devil and how if we weren’t careful, we’d all be roasting in hell. I don’t even remember if he ever talked about heaven. All I remember is hell, hell, hell.”

“Sounds like one hell of a guy.”

Avana giggled. “Yeah. Anywho, that’s how Benito is. He’s loud enough to wake the dead and would preach to them too if he could.”

“Just what does he preach?”

“Not sure. It’s always in some language I don’t know, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Hablo. Ich spreche. Je parle. Watashi wa hanasu.”

“Spanish… Is ich spreche German?” She nodded, and I continued figuring out each language she’d used. “Then French...and then Japanese. Wait, hold on, you can speak Spanish, German, French, and Japanese?!”

“And nearly every language of Africa,” Avana replied as she puffed out with pride. 

I shook my head in wonder. God, she must’ve been a freakin’ genius! “And you can speak them all fluently?!” Oh! Now that I think about it, she can speak English fluently too! Wow, she sure is a wonder! 

“Yeah, though there are a few words that I struggle with, especially slang. Like what does the phrase ‘knocked up’ mean? I’ve heard it, but I’ve never understood it.”

My cheeks flushed red. “Uh, well… Um, if someone doesn’t plan on having a baby but then someone gets her pregnant, then she just got ‘knocked up’.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, back to...what was his name? Benito?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so he’s loud. What else?”

“Uh, he’s white and straight like you.”

“Wait, how do you know he’s straight?”

“He told me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He’s always blurting out random facts about himself. And others.”

“So he’s a trivia nut?”

“Yeah. Don’t play Trivia Pursuit with him. Or watch Jeopardy. He’ll make you crazy. He’s dramatic about everything too.”

“Note taken.”

There were a few moments of silence as we tried to figure out how to continue the conversation. Then I started thinking about how Avana knew so much about this place even though she couldn’t have been from here. 

“So how long have you been here?”

“Long enough.”

“Okay, how long is ‘long enough’?” She sighed, and I realized I must’ve been aggravating her with my questions. “Sorry I’m going reporter on you. Half the time I don’t even catch myself doing it.”

She immediately waved her hand in dismissal. “No, it’s fine. I...I just don’t like thinking about it.”

“About what?”

“About how I shouldn’t even be here,” she muttered angrily. 

Avana then stopped. She held out her hand, and Kiburi appeared in a flash. “What’s the matter?” I asked. 

She didn’t seem to hear me. I could tell she was focused on something, but on what, I didn’t know. Then a white bunny leapt out of a nearby bush and lunged at her. 

In the split second it was in the air, I wondered what a cute, little thing was doing here, but then I remembered what’d happened when Avana and I had met. 

“Avana!” I yelled just as she caught the creature by the ears. 

I blinked in surprise when she moved the animal so that she could hold it by the bottom. She then started petting it affectionately while humming softly to it. 

“Uh…”

Avana turned to me and saw that I was confused as hell and trying to figure out what the hell was going on here. “You don’t have to worry about this little guy,” she said as she walked over to me. “He’s mine.”

“You have a pet rabbit?”

“Yeah. He’s the only rabbit in Ytol that won’t try to spill my guts and then devour them.”

“Thanks for the pleasant description.” Avana only shrugged. “Okay, so how’d you know it wouldn’t end up murdering you?”

“I’ve known him since he was a little baby.” She then turned to the beast, and they rubbed noses. “Haven’t I, Benji? Haven’t I?” The rabbit’s teeth started chattering. “Aw, you’re purring,” Avana said in an affectionate voice. Purring? She called that purring? “Did you miss Mama, little Benji? Did you?”

“Benji?” 

“Short for Benjamin.”

“It doesn’t turn into a killer rabbit, does it?”

“He does when I need him to.” She started scratching his belly, and he started thumping his foot against her chest excitedly. “You help Mama in battle, don’t you? Don’t you?” 

“Against other rabbits?”

“Those and more.”

More? “You saying those killer rabbits aren’t the only things from this place that won’t try to murder us?!”

“Duh. I did tell you about the evil empress lady you’ll have to defeat, didn’t I?”

“And lucky me will have to deal with her minions?” I asked. 

Avana nodded. “Yeah.”

“Lovely,” I muttered. “And that’s if you’re right about this ‘chosen one’ shit.”

“I am.”

“And your evidence is a feeling.”

“Feelings matter in this place.”

“Yeah...sure.”

“I’m serious.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re right.”

“You’ll find out soon enough from Benito.”

“How do you know you’re not the ‘chosen one’?”

A dark look spread over her face. “I’m not,” she growled. She then sighed as the darkness passed. “We should get a move on,” she said as she started walking once more. 

Several minutes passed, and we didn’t speak for the entire time. I was too unnerved by that look she’d had. Honest to God, it’d scared me.

Finally, we arrived at the base of the building. I looked up. God, it seemed to just stretch forever! I suddenly felt as small as an ant. 

“Shocking, right?”

I swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Welcome to Ytolia City!” she exclaimed as she swung open the large double doors, her rabbit jumping up onto her head right before doing so.

She was immediately bathed in golden light. She looked like an angel that’d just come from heaven. I tried to look past her, but I immediately had to shield my eyes. God! Why the hell was that so bright?! 

“You coming?” she asked. 

I nodded, and, squinting, made my way forward. The doors slammed shut behind us, and the light immediately vanished. I opened my eyes fully, relieved that they no longer had to suffer, and I looked around, trying to find the source of the light. 

The first thing I saw was the giant spiraling staircase in the middle of the room. Rather than simple old railings, there were golden dragons chasing each other and continuing for what seemed like infinity. I ran to the center of the stairway, at which there was a circle on the ground made up by a rainbow dragon chasing its tail with rainbow flames in the middle of the circle, reaching their fiery fingers up toward the magnificent beast. I looked up and...uh...I couldn’t even see the top. 

“Where does this thing even lead?” I asked. 

“I have no idea,” Avana replied as she approached me, that damn thing still on her head like it was Pikachu or something. 

“How the hell has that thing not fallen off yet?” 

“Benji’s really graceful,” she said before reaching up to rub the top of its head. It “purred”, as Avana would’ve put it, in response.  

“Okay, so you have no idea where this leads?”

“Nope. Nobody knows.”

I turned to her in astonishment. “You’re kidding!” 

She shook her head. “I’m serious. Nobody’s been up here. It’s off limits.”

“How do you know?”

“Uh, are you two just going to stand there or are you going to check in?” a female voice said from behind us. 

I turned to see a tan (like, glorious-sun-god kind of tan) thirty-or-something-year-old woman standing behind the counter--the receptionist. She had an absurdly large beehive of dark purple hair and violet eyes just like Avana. Her lips were the same color as her hair. She was wearing a lavender crop top that didn’t even cover her belly button and short--like, really short--purple shorts.  

I blinked in surprise, wondering if this was just some crazy monochromatic hallucination. Then Avana jabbed her thumb at the woman. “She told me.”

The woman immediately lit up the moment she heard Avana’s voice. “Oh, hey!” she greeted with a friendly wave. “I haven’t seen you in here forever!”

Avana grinned as she went up to her, and she leaned over on the counter. “Hi, Amethyst! Yeah, I’ve been busy.” She then jabbed her thumb at me. “Busy saving her butt over there.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s from around here.”

“No kidding. That’s an Earthling right there.”

“So she’s just like you!” Amethyst (God, I have to say that name’s fitting) then looked me up and down and scowled. “Ugh, her clothes are so drab, just like yours were! Though I’ll give her this: they’re not dirty rags.”

I turned to Avana. Dirty rags? “Well, she also didn’t grow up in Kenya,” Avana replied, and I sensed once again some bitterness, though this wasn’t quite so deep like the other times that feeling had shown itself.

“Were you poor?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. 

Avana blinked at the question and then laughed, which took me entirely by surprise. “Poor?! Ha! I wasn’t just poor! I was knee-deep in poverty!” I noticed the humor hadn’t moved to her eyes. “Worms and dirt were my daily meal! My daily nutrients! And soap--God bless soap--was a freakin’ luxury! Ha!” 

I was alarmed to see tears welling up in her eyes. Avana quickly hid her face and walked away without another word. I stared after her, wondering how this all had just come out of the blue. 

“I can’t imagine that existing on a planet,” I heard Amethyst say. I turned and waited for her to clarify, hoping she’d have some exposition for me. “Here, everyone has been given a home. Everyone has known what a home was since birth. And nobody has ever starved. If someone didn’t have any food, then others were glad to give it. If someone didn’t have any water, then others were glad to let others drink theirs. It’s always been like that. When someone needed something, there was always someone who’d help. I can’t imagine that not existing in any place.”

“Avana didn’t have any of that?”

The woman shook her head. “Not from what she’s told me. She grew up alone. No parents, no siblings, nobody. She had to fight on her own to survive on the streets.”

“She lived on the streets?”

“Yeah. Like she said, she didn’t have any money. The only thing that kept her from starving was eating dirt and worms.” Bile rose in my throat. God. She continued. “She didn’t have any education either, considering school was too expensive. She couldn’t even afford food, so why would she spend it on school?”

I thought about how she knew so many languages and how she was able to speak them fluently. “She seems pretty educated to me.”

“She’s smart. Smarter than anyone I know. But it wasn’t until she came here that she finally got the chance to gain knowledge about stuff. Hell, she didn’t even know how to read or write.”

“Then how did she learn?”

“I taught her.”

“You did?”

Amethyst nodded, and I saw her chest puff up a bit in pride, and a prideful fire started burning in her eyes. “She picked it up so fast, too. It only took her about six months. She’s the best student I’ve ever had, no joke about it.”

“You’re a teacher?”

She nodded. “I teach English at one of the high schools on the education floor.”

“Wait, how’d you teach her if you don’t know Swahili?” I asked, taking into account that Avana had been raised in Kenya. 

“She knew how to speak English--at least enough to communicate with me.”

“But you said she didn’t have any education.”

“She didn’t. She picked it up from others.”

“Wow.”

“Avana is quite amazing when it comes to languages. The moment I showed her the library floor, the first things she devoured were books on learning different languages. She went through those like crazy. She learned Spanish and French in just six months, and German short after. Japanese was the hardest for her since it had kanji in addition to hiragana and katakana, but still, she was able to become fluent in the language just a year after learning it.”

“You’re kidding!” 

She shook her head and grinned. “And before I even knew her, she’d already taught herself most of the languages of Africa, in addition to Swahili of course.”

“Wow. Avana must be a genius!”

“Yes. It’s just so sad, though.”

“What?”

“Hey, let’s take you to Benito,” I heard Avana declare from behind me. I turned and saw she was grinning. Her smile was strained though. Not to mention her eyes were rimmed with red. “He’ll show you that you’re meant to be here.”

“She still needs to check in!” Amethyst exclaimed in exasperation. 

“Oh, yeah. Right.”

“So is this like a hotel or something?” I asked. 

Amethyst shook her head. “You have to register for your permanent living space.”

“But I’m not going to live here.” Amethyst and Avana exchanged glances.

 “What?” I demanded. 

“You can’t go back,” Avana replied. 

“Uh, what’s with the bullshit right now? We can just teleport back with that magic crap you pulled.”

Avana shook her head, and a fist of fear grabbed my heart. No? What did she mean by no? “You can’t go back. Not back to your normal life.”

“W-why not?” 

Avana turned so her back was to me, and she lifted the back of her shirt. The color immediately drained from my face. There was a giant scar straight in the middle of her back that ran from top to bottom. It was made even more startling by how its paleness contrasted with her dark skin. 

“W-what the hell is that?!” I exclaimed. 

She turned to face me once more. “Staying outside of Ytol for too long threatens to tear your body apart. I tried to do that on Earth. I’m lucky I only got away with this.”

She called that lucky?! “God!” 

“Yeah. You should’ve seen it right as it happened. Wasn’t exactly pretty.”

“Hopefully my student won’t do something stupid like that again, considering the experience nearly killed her,” Amethyst added. 

I gulped. Nearly killed her. Jesus.

“It wasn’t stupid. It was just--” Avana froze, and her gaze slid to the floor. 

“How long have you been here?” I asked, not yet aware I’d voiced my thought aloud. 

“Five years. Since I was eighteen.”

“Wow. That’s a long time. Don’t you miss home?”

The moment I said it, it struck a chord deep within my heart. I thought about them fighting again. Maybe they were fighting over me, who knows? I thought about the bitch I had to call Mom doing all the yelling while my father just stood there and took it with that calm composure of his. I thought about how quickly that calm composure might change now that I wasn’t there--that I wouldn’t ever get to go back.

“Why is Mommy a bitch?” I asked Dad as he started tying my shoes. He stiffened, the bunny ears frozen in his fingers. 

“Where’d you get such a potty mouth?” he asked in a joking voice, though I could tell it was quite strained. 

“I heard you two fighting last night,” I said quietly. 

“I see,” Dad replied as he finished tying my shoes and slowly rose to his feet. 

He looked out toward the distance, and I followed his gaze to the setting sun. I turned back and was startled to find that a tear had trickled down his cheek. “Dad! You’re crying!” I exclaimed in alarm. 

Dad shook his head, as if snapping himself out of a trance, and he quickly wiped the tear away. He then grinned and swept me into his arms. He tossed me into the air and caught me before I could fall to the ground. I giggled all the while. 

“What were you looking at?” I asked him. 

“The sun was setting. It made me quite sad,” he replied in a sorrowful voice. 

“Was that why you were crying?”

“When a sun sets, it reminds me that some things are coming to an end, much like how day is coming to an end right now.”

“But it’ll be back in the morning, right?”

He hesitated, and even though I was only five at the time, I could tell he was afraid of telling me something more than just yes or no. He eventually replied, “I’m not sure, honey. I’m honestly not sure.”

“Is this one of your stories, Dad?”

“Huh?”

“You know how you’re always telling me stuff. In your story, is the sun not going to come up again?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” He then smiled sheepishly at me. “I suppose I need to start at the beginning, don’t I? Otherwise it wouldn’t be a very good story.”

“What about Frankenstein? By the shell lady?”

“Shell lady? Oh, you mean Mary Shelley?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I guess.”

“What does a little twerp like you know about Frankenstein?” he asked as he tickled me a bit. 

“It starts at the end!” I said between laughs. 

“Where’d you hear about Frankenstein?”

“Karen.”

“Who’s Karen?”

“She has two dogs, a parrot, two dogs, and a goldfish. And two boys! They gave me some guys.” I pulled out a couple of action figures I’d stored in the large pocket of my overalls and showed them to him. “Batman and Spiderman!”

“Oh, your babysitter! I’m always thinking her name’s Nicole.”

“What’s the story? Are there spiders and bats and ghosts?”

He laughed. “Well, there’s a mommy spider and a daddy spider.”

“Why are they spiders?”

“Because they are.”

“Can they be ghosts instead?”

“They’re spider ghosts.”

“Because I squished them with my boot!”

“Yes, you sure did. Okay, here goes. There once was a family of spider ghosts. There was a mommy and a daddy and a baby one too.”

“The baby was named Baby Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“No, not Maggie. Baby Maggie.”

“Oh, of course. Anyway, they all loved each other very much.”

“And they watched Gravity Falls together.”

“Uh, yes. That was their favorite movie.”

“Don’t you mean show? It’s a show, Dad.”

“Oh, right. That’s what I meant. Anyway, they loved each other so, so much, and they were so happy too. But then-”

“But then?”

His eyes grew misty as he continued. “The mommy spider ghost started getting angry at something. And the anger started taking away the good things about her.”

“The mommy spider ghost was going bad?”

He nodded. “The mommy and daddy started fighting a lot. And one day, the baby spider woke up and started crying. The daddy and mommy didn’t hear her, though. They were being too loud. The next day, when the daddy was walking with the baby spider ghost, she told him that she’d heard them fighting.” He clenched his jaw and then picked me up as something I couldn’t describe entered his eyes. “And the daddy spider ghost doesn’t want the baby spider to hear them fighting ever again.”

“Why?”

“Because the baby spider ghost shouldn’t have to wake up to that. The daddy doesn’t want his baby to hear that anymore.”

I sighed and buried my head in my hands. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home to the man who tried his damndest not to let me hear their fighting. I wanted to go home to the man who refused to raise his voice at my mother, not even when she was being a total bitch. 

I wanted my father. 

“Benito will know.”

I looked up at Avana through my hands. “What?”

“Benito must know if we can return home for good.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will. I can feel it.”

“Again with the feeling,” I grumbled. I was starting to think that this nonsense coming out her mouth was all it was: nonsense. “Maybe I’ll just take my chances going home.” 

“Benito’s never wrong,” Amethyst said. “He can see things others can’t.”

“So he’s crazy.”

“Don’t call him that,” Avana snapped in a surprisingly aggressive voice. She must have noticed it too, because she added in a much toned down voice, “He’s the real deal, okay?”

“You guys think I’m just going to accept this just because you say it’s so.”

“He knew Amethyst was going to be a teacher.”

“Oh, wow. How impressive,” I replied drily. 

“You don’t understand.”

“I was studying engineering in university,” Amethyst said. “I was extremely skilled in mathematics and science. They were my favorite subjects in school, too.”

“What about English?”

“Hated it.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I hated every English class I’d ever taken. I was good at English, sure, but I hated every minute of it.”

“Okay, so what? You just decided to do a one-eighty?”

“Well, here’s the thing: I met this guy in college.”

“It’s always a guy,” I muttered. 

“I know, right?” Avana hissed in my ear, and I grinned. 

Amethyst scowled at the both of us. “Anyway, he’d write poetry to me.”

“Poetry? Woo. Haven’t heard that before.”

“Anyway,” Amethyst continued after sending an icy glare my way, “Navin, while we were dating, would always write me this poetry, and it wasn’t like any I’d seen before. It didn’t follow any rules. It didn’t care about meter or number of syllables or anything. He just let the words flow out naturally and didn’t try to force anything with them.”

“Let me guess: this made you see poetry in a new light, and you decided to try it out for yourself, and when you did, you wanted other people to know that you didn’t have to follow the rules, so you took up teaching.”

“Um, yes.”

“Anyone could’ve predicted that.”

“First off, maybe not. Second, Benito predicted she’d become an English teacher before she even met Navin,” Avana replied. “Before she was even in university.”

“He knew since I was born,” Amethyst added.

“He knew since you were born?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean anything. He said you’d be one thing, and you unconsciously moved yourself toward that.”

“He never told me I would be a teacher.”

“Then how the hell do you know he said that?”

“He told my parents. He also told them not to tell me until I’d become a teacher.”

“Okay, so you’re saying that everything’s up to fate? That we don’t have a choice in the matter? There’s no way that’s right.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” Amethyst replied. “Yes, the end result is fixed, but what you do to get there is entirely up to you. If Benito had told me, I probably would’ve forced myself into studying English at every moment. Or maybe I would’ve forced myself to choose the farthest thing from it just in defiance. But since I didn’t know I had a set fate, my life played out naturally. I didn’t force myself to do anything because I thought every action I took felt right. I studied engineering in college because I thought it was right. But eventually, I found out on my own that teaching English was really the true right path for me. And now, I love every second of it.”

“Okay, thank you for the inspirational quote, but what does it have to do with getting home?”

“Look, Benito can see the end result of everybody’s future. He’ll be able to tell if you’ll end up home or not.”

“So I’m only going to get a yes or no? No how?”

“Right.”

“What kind of old, wise prophet is this guy?” I muttered. 

“You’d at least be reassured that you will get home.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, come on! Let’s just go already!”

“She still needs to check in.”

“I thought you said you were a teacher. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“This is my summer job.”

“Wait, it’s summer here?”

Amethyst  gave me a strange look, and Avana explained, “It’s winter where she’s from.”

“Can we just skip the check-in? At least for now?” At least let me believe I won’t be here forever.

Amethyst sighed and waved her hand in dismissal. “Just this one time. Now go.”

Avana tipped her head in respect, nearly sending that beast of hers tumbling to the ground. Luckily for it, it managed to hold on to her hair and scramble back onto the top of her head. “Thanks. I’ll pay you back later,” she said as she started walking away. 

“Tell Benito hi for me,” Amethyst replied. 

Avana stopped in her tracks, and I saw her fists clench and then unclench in less than a second, before she started walking again. I didn’t comment on it as I ran to catch up to her, though I had to wonder why she’d gotten so irked just now. 

She stopped in front of an elevator. It looked normal enough, which was probably why I hadn’t noticed it at all when we came in. Avana pressed the up button, and we waited patiently for a few moments. The doors slid open, and several people bustled out, nearly running me over. I stumbled backwards, shocked, and just barely managed to stay on my feet. Avana reached her hand out to steady me. Once the stampede was past us, I was able to breathe again. 

“That’s Ytolia City for you,” Avana said as she stepped into the now vacant elevator. 

I nodded and followed her inside. She pressed a button marked sixteen out of hundreds. I swallowed as the doors slid shut. The elevator started going up. I moved toward the corner of the tiny room and clutched the railing tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to think about the walls closing in on me. 

There was a ding, and I heard the elevator doors open. I opened my eyes just as a bunch of people rushed inside, immediately filling the room. I tried to take a step back even though I knew I couldn’t. I swallowed again as I tried to control my racing heart. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how close everything and everyone was. 

Too close too close too close. 

You’re fine. 

Too close. 

You’re fine. 

Too close. 

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked down and recognized it as Avana’s. I looked up, but I couldn’t see her. The rest of her was hidden by the crowd. Warmth emanated from her palm, and my heart rate slowed to a steady pace. 

Someone bumped into me, and I squeezed Avana’s hand tightly. Then the elevator dinged as the doors opened again. Everyone poured out, leaving me alone with Avana. The doors shut, and I sighed in relief. 

Avana released my hand. “You okay?” she asked. 

I nodded. “Yeah. Just don’t like tight spaces.”

I closed my eyes, and immediately, the image of me banging my fists against the door in manic fear flashed through my mind. I immediately shoved the memory away. 

“Are you sure?” Avana asked. 

I nodded just as the doors slid open once more. I braced myself, fearful another tidal wave was coming, but no one came. I relaxed, and I saw Avana smile slightly at me before she walked out of the elevator. I hurried after her, anxious to get out of that tiny metal box. 

“So how long have you had claustrophobia?” Avana asked the instant I caught up. 

The memory barged into my mind again, and I immediately shoved it away. “Since I was little,” I replied.

I then looked at my surroundings and frowned. We were in a living room. A flat-screen TV completely covered one way, which was currently playing some kids show, and against the wall across from it, there was a brown couch on which were two adults with two kids who I assumed were theirs. They didn’t even seem to notice we were there. 

“Uh, this isn’t Benito’s apartment, is it?”

Avana shook her head and strode right past the family. To my surprise, they didn’t react at all. It was like they saw right through her. “We have to go through here and then a few more apartments to get to his.”

I followed her into the kitchen, and there was a door beside a refrigerator to my right. Avana was about to leave through it when I asked, “What’s going on?”

She turned to face me. “What do you mean?”

“This is somebody else’s home. It belongs to someone we don’t even know, and we’re just walking straight through it. And they don’t seem to notice it at all.”

“You heard me when I said the apartments were interconnected, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you meant this.”

“Okay, yeah, I get it. It’s a little weird to get used to. That’s just Ytolia City for you.”

“The weirdest thing to me is how they didn’t seem to notice us at all. Didn’t they see us?”

To my shock, Avana shook her head. “Nope. They can’t see us at all. To them, we’re invisible.”

“Uh, how?”

“Technology!” Avana exclaimed while wiggling her fingers dramatically. “Woo!” I waited for her to clarify, and luckily, I wasn’t disappointed. “There are tiny devices--so small you can’t even see them--set up in every apartment. If they sense a non-resident, they cloak him or her so the family can’t see. Or hear, for that matter.”

“Do people walk in and out all the time?”

“Well, yeah. It’s impossible to get to your apartment without going through somebody else’s.”

Avana walked out the door, and I followed her into another living room, this one belonging to a single woman. She was typing furiously on a laptop, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. 

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” she screamed at the device as she started pounding the keys with her fists. 

I stopped and stared at her as she rose from the sofa and started pacing around while yelling profanities at no one in particular. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. This was wrong. I didn’t have the right to see this random woman at her lowest point. This was too personal. This should’ve been private. Her moment and hers alone. How could people be okay with this?

“You coming?” Avana asked, having already reached the next door. 

“This doesn’t bother you?” 

“What?”

“What do you mean, what? This! This whole barging into other people’s homes and being able to see their private moments in all their naked glory! How can you not--”

“It’s how life goes here. Everyone sees the good and the bad with everyone.”

Avana continued, and I reluctantly followed. A deep feeling of uneasiness never left my stomach, though. We entered another living room, and to my relief, this one was empty. Well, empty of people anyway. 

“Somebody’s feeling lonely and depressed,” Avana commented, referring to the multiple ice cream containers on the floor. There were also a countless number of candy wrappers littering the floor--so many that they had become the floor. Lonely and depressed indeed. 

I didn’t like this, being able to just see everything about a person, their good and their bad times. I wouldn’t want everyone to see my everything. There were some things I didn’t want others to see. So why was I able to see this, then?

A door creaked, and I turned my attention to Avana, who was halfway out. She beckoned me to come on, and she disappeared into the next apartment. I was about to follow her when I felt someone grab my hand. I whirled around to find a lanky guy a little older than me with messy black hair and, of course, violet eyes. He was dressed like he was going to the prom in a black tuxedo and matching pants. He immediately let go of my hand, having gotten my attention.

“Hey, was that Avana just now?” he asked. 

I nodded, and he held out a slip of paper to me. “Will you give this to her?”

I blinked and then took it. “Yeah.”

He thanked me and went to the freezer in the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream before disappearing into what I assumed was his bedroom. I hurried out and saw she was waiting for me. Her brow was raised. 

“What took you so long?”

“Uh, the guy living there asked me to give you this.”

Avana raised her brows and took the paper from me. She looked over it, and her eyes softened. “I’m glad to hear that,” she whispered, her voice so low I almost didn’t hear it. 

She then cleared her throat and tucked the note into her pocket. “Alright, so Benito doesn’t seem to be home right now, so we might have to wait a while.”

“Wait, we’re in Benito’s apartment?” She nodded and then plopped down on the black sofa. I looked around and immediately noticed the walls were lined with rows upon rows of photographs. I gaped at all of the people smiling back at me. “Who are they?”

“Everyone he’s ever predicted the future for.”

I then spotted Amethyst. Her monochromatic look wasn’t hard to miss. In the photo, she looked considerably younger, maybe by ten years or so. In her hand she held up a framed college diploma for an education major. She had a grin stretched from ear to ear. Beside her stood a tall and stocky young man with brown curls and violet eyes (okay, seriously, does everybody here have violet eyes?!). He was in the midst of kissing her on the cheek. This must’ve been that Navin guy she’d told us about. 

“He doesn’t look like a poet,” I commented. 

Avana smirked. “No kidding. He looks more like a farmer who’s been out in the field all his life.” 

“Do you know any of these people?” I asked. “Other than Amethyst?”

She shook her head. She then walked over to a bookshelf. She started skimming over its shelves filled with different Trivia Pursuit games covering every category imaginable. I turned back to the pictures. 

One of them caught my eye. I got closer to it to inspect it further. 

It was a young woman my age with burnt umber skin and black dreadlocks that had become wild, unruly, and dirty at some point. Her cheeks were gaunt. Her eyes were hardened and belonged to someone much older. And they were brown, a stark contrast to everyone else’s violet eyes. Her body, currently covered by a t-shirt and shorts nearly reduced to rags, was extremely thin. It didn’t look like she was starving, per se, but more like she was close to it. Or maybe that she was recovering from starvation. 

I whipped my head toward Avana. She had lived in poverty before she came here. And she was the only one here other than me that was from Earth. That had to explain the brown eyes. I turned back to the picture on the wall, and I was immediately able to pick out identical features between the two. That was Avana, alright. 

Why were her eyes brown in this picture but violet now? I paused to think about it. She had lived here for five years. Perhaps spending enough time in this place turned your eyes violet. I frowned. Would my eyes turn violet too?

I turned back to the picture. Her hair had undergone a dramatic change as well. I turned back to Avana and frowned at her curly rainbow mohawk. What had prompted her to change her hairstyle so drastically? And her clothes, for that matter?

Then I remembered what Avana had told me about these pictures: Benito had predicted each of their futures. I turned to Avana. What had he predicted about her future? 

“Hey, Avana?” I asked, wondering if she’d tell me if I asked. She looked up from a game she had started to open. “What did Benito predict for you?”

She stiffened, and was it just my imagination, or did her eyes turn brown for a second? She then shook her head. “I’m not on that wall,” she replied. 

Avana turned back to setting up the game. I turned back to the picture. She was lying. I was certain of it. But why would she lie about it? 

I was about to ask her when a door slammed open and a young man burst into the room. He had an insane blue pompadour that was close to defying physics and violet eyes widened with optimism and wonder like he could see the world under a much brighter lens than the rest of us. He wore a black suit, with an orange turndown collared shirt underneath, with purple cuffs, orange dress pants, a blue cape, black shoes, purple epaulettes (yeah, freakin’ epaulettes), a black bowtie, and, of course, a black top hat with a purple silk band wrapped around it to complete his insane magician image. 

He paused for a moment, apparently stuck in a triumphant running pose with his fist thrust up toward the air. Then he swiftly shifted back to a normal pose. He gracefully took off his top hat and bowed before us. “Welcome, ladies!” he boomed in a dramatic voice. 

“Uh, hi,” I replied as I raised my hand in greeting, not really sure what to do in the presence of such a wacko. 

I widened my eyes as he leaned in close, his widened violet eyes piercing through mine. I half-expected him to suddenly lay one on me. He sure seemed crazy enough to do it. 

“Melanie Olivia Mitchell of Earth, eighteen years of age.” He cocked his head after a few seconds of staring at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Benito, give her some space!” Avana exclaimed. 

I blinked. Benito? This was the Benito she’d told me about?! The old, wise man?! 

Benito immediately straightened and backed away a few steps. He cleared his throat and launched into a tirade of random trivial facts about himself, some normal enough while others completely bizarre, and the whole ordeal came with a bunch of overly dramatic gestures and poses. A few minutes went by, and then he started shouting at the rooftops in some language I didn’t even recognize. I stared at him, his behavior escaping all comprehension. 

“Uh…”

Suddenly, his hand exploded into flames. I screamed. Benito only examined his hand calmly, as if their burning touch didn’t affect him in the slightest. The fire flickered between all the colors of the rainbow. I felt Avana stiffen beside me, though I couldn’t understand why. Benito shook his hand once, and the flames quickly disappeared. 

Benito sighed and muttered quietly, “They went out so easily.” He then turned to Avana.“So you’re here to see your future again.”

“Not mine. Melanie’s,” Avana replied, and her voice was laced with bitterness and anger, which made it come close to growling. 

Benito cast a disbelieving glance at her before snapping his fingers. He then clutched his hat tightly and spun in a circle. The walls then turned into a shimmery mist. On each wall was a frozen image. 

The first was of Avana and me standing before hundreds of monsters lunging toward us. Rainbow flames surrounded the both of us, shielding us from their attack. 

In the second, I was hugging both of my parents, both of whom had tears streaming down their cheeks. Both. Both my dad and my mom. It was a sight I just couldn’t fathom. I then noticed that Avana was there too. She hung back several feet behind me, her arms crossed and her gaze focused on the ground. 

Unnerved, I turned to the next one. I widened my eyes and covered my mouth in horror as I saw Avana frozen in a scream of agony. Tears streamed down her face, but they were red. Red like blood. Crimson trickled down from a gash in the middle of her forehead, and there was a large puddle of blood at her feet. I stood in front of her, clutching both of her hands and screaming at her while normal tears flooded down my cheeks. 

I looked at Avana. She was staring at the last wall, and the color had drained from her face. I slowly turned around, afraid to see what the last image had to offer. 

There was an evil-looking woman (obviously the evil empress I was supposed to defeat or whatever) with white hair, the palest skin I had ever seen, and golden eyes. She was dressed all in white and had her hand raised. Dark energy surrounded her enclosed fist. Her brown lips were curled back in a snarl. Above her was Avana. She was flying toward her with Kiburi high overhead. And her rainbow sword was on fire. 

From what I’d seen, Avana was going to be the one who defeated this evil empress lady. Why then had she been so convinced that I would end up doing it? I turned to ask her and was startled to find tears welling in her brown (holy shit, brown!) eyes. They flickered and returned back to violet, and Avana blinked away her tears. 

“Benito, why do you keep showing this?” she shouted angrily. 

“Wait, you’ve seen this before?” I asked. 

Benito snapped his fingers, and the images vanished. He put his top hat back on. “The future is fixed. It never changes. It stands firm as a rock. You have told you that many times.”

“Then you’re wrong!” I blinked in surprise, wondering where this one-eighty had sprung from. 

Benito’s hand burst into rainbow flames again, but they disappeared just seconds after. He sighed. “You know that isn’t true.”

Avana grabbed my hand, and I cried out as she jerked me behind her as she stormed past Benito. “Come on. We’re leaving.”

I yanked my hand out of hers. “Why are you getting so upset about this?”

After all, the whole reason we’d come here was to listen to Benito. And now that we had, Avana was acting really weird, and I just couldn’t understand it. Then Benito said something that threw me for a loop and stunned me into silence.

“It’s because she doesn’t want to believe that she is the chosen one.”

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 15 (Finale): “I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE” - Ali

Did that vote make me a villain? Cuz I don't think I can avoid that anymore. But did it screw my chances of winning? Did it add to my resume? Did it make sense? Who do I work with next? Do people understand that Ali is gonna win this game? Is Ali gonna win another immunity challenge? Can I get him voted off or is it smarter to get him to vote with me, because its Benj and I and we need one more. I have more questions after last night than I started, but knowing that Benj was going to vote Jones I didn't think I had much of a choice.

JONES WHEN U SEE THIS ILY IM SO SORRY :((((((

breakdown.

Seamus enjoyed seeing me suffer with maths and black rotating puzzle

Ok so Ali won immunity so cant use idol on himself so im in the F4 hehe (unless hes seriously been playing me this entire time LMAO)

My 0 votes will prob be ruined tho but oh well still a huge improvement from 20 in kili

honestly think im losing in any F3 scenario ugh im gonna be a 2 time ftc loser LOL kinda iconic tho

regardless this has been one of the most fun games ive ever played hehe

I am trying my best to stay safe this round. I think it would be crazy for them to let me make it to F4, not that I think I am gonna win, but the momentum is definitely with Ali, Tom, and Jason, and I seem like the logical vote.

With that, there are some things I would like to say about the game. I'm actually pretty proud of the way I played. I know it wasn't the most graceful, or the most honest or loyal. I votes out Alex when he really trusted me. I flopped on Jules to win my way back in with that side. I stuck by Mo, but ultimately let him go when I had no choice, and then I did the same thing but more dramatically with Jones. I helped idol out the power player Mitch, but my strongest attribute was creating tight relationships with people who always felt they need to get that extra vote, Tom, Ali, Benj, Alex, Jones, Mo. The closeness has always made me less of a target, I hope not because they think I'm not a threat, but rather because they think I might be that swing vote for them. I feel like I have largely been the only one to make real decisions in this game except for Mitch, because Benj followed whoever told him to vote what, and Tom and Jason only make decisions because they just need to target whoever targets them. Ali and I are suppose to be in a secret bond, but the only time we vote together is when I switch and vote with him (Alex and Jones). I was the flip vote with Jason on Jules. I helped make the decision to vote out Mitch. I told Ali that I think it needs to be Jason this time. If I make it through this that would be soooo freakin fun. If I don't I worked my magic to try to get the target off of me, and so far I think the vote is Jason v Benj (sorry Benj that I had to convince Jason that I could work with him in the case that he idols). The biggest kink to that game is Ali winning those immunities, because truly I think the F5 would have been so different. Him winning rn changes everything and I can truly see the chinks in my strategy and gameplay now. I'm a mess, but I'm a calculating emotional mess, so hey points for me right?

okay so Jason left, which is really good news. He was clearly a major threat, and I acheived my goal (admittedly with no contribution to Mitch going) of Mitch, Jones & Jason being three boots in order.

So I'm in the final four with Caeleb, Benj and Tom. AND TOM IS NOW TARGETTING ME THAT MUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPET. I saw this coming, I knew he would, he thinks he is gonna pull a fast one on me, but little does he know Benj is the KINGEST KING, and we've been allies since the first round.

So I really REALLY wanna win final four immunity, because it might be the Final Immunity and I am cautiously optimistic that if I can just make FTC, I can win this whole thing. If I win immunity, I'm voting out Caeleb with Benj and Tom, who will... kicking and screaming have to vote with me ajkdslfa.

I think no matter what, I'll be able to go to firemaking this round at worst, since I think Benj is firmly in my corner. And I've been dominant in challenges thus far, and could hopefully continue to do so? We will see ahh.

I just desperately want to win immunity this round, because then I can vote Caeleb out and drag Tom to F3. mwahahahahahahahahahaha. HE WILL HAVE TO SIT WITH ME IN A FINAL THREE, like it or not!

I'm literally so close to FTC this is gonna drive me insane. If its a F3, I think I'm literally a challenge away from winning this season, I could truly SCREAM hnnnnnnnnnngh.

There's so much riding on this next immunity challenge. Like so much. And i just realized that I have no won immunity since Merge and everyone else left has, so umm here's hoping.

I WON FINAL IMMUNITY OH MY GOD. i literally.. my heart was pump pumping so fast, when Caeleb won the first two rounds I literally was gonna throw up/throw something/throw a fit.

But HNNNGH I won (and I filmed my reaction, which I'll upload), and I need to vote off Caeleb in my opinion. Benj is a king, but he hasn't done as much as me in this game, and Tom is solidly getting third place I think at this stage, so I think I have a great shot.

IM SO CLOSE ASKLDFAF. I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE.

I know that this game is an emotional mess. And HELL I have been an emotional mess. But this I think is the first time that I'm actually angry. 6 immunity wins? Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell? I coulda made it to FTC, and like I'm not done yet I'll keep fighting so hopefully I can make it. But in normal circumstances I would be there. I just. Am so. Livid. There's no strategy involved when you can't vote someone out consistently. Now I have to fight tooth and nail just to have a shot and go against the freakin contender to win. Like its so disheartening, and Ali is a sweet guy sure, but he hasn't even made half the moves I have. His biggest move and most unexpected? Voting out Julia. If I get my chance to make it to FTC I'll have a lot to say, but I don't think its looking up for me at this point.

this is the worst video i've ever filmed nobody watch this

I CANT BELIEVE I MADE F3 AGAIN!!!!!

WOWOWOWOW

and with Ali our day 1 duo actually did it WTF?

Tom king too the anzacs made it

I know im losing but its been SO FUN!!

Good memories only

Okay so... FTC was yesterday, and I kind of want to do a final wrap up confessional, just to kind of bring some personal closure.

So it seems unless a lot shifts, that I am decisively going to win this game. I'm so unbelievably excited, I've literally only ever come second in survivor games, so to have finally snatched the win genuinely means a lot. It shows me that 2019 truly has been a year of real emotional growth for me, and the personal roadblocks I've put in front of myself that have cost me games in the past, have been lifted and I have my act together much much more.

FTC was... just such a weird experience yesterday, I always get dragged at FTCs, particularly live ones. I've only done two ever (Athena: All Stars and BB Pokemon: Orre) and both times, not a single juror spoke positively about my game that was present. To have jurors come on, and say that I unequivocally played the best was such a bizarre experience, but I love all the jurors so much and their high estimation of me is genuinely so flattering.

With that said, FTC was also a really rough experience. I love Benj and Tom with my full heart, and watching Tom get relentlessly told he was rude was tricky because I know how good of a guy he really is, and how well he meant with everyone. Benj was rough because... it seems I just outplayed him, and him mentioning our duo in his opening statement when I didn't at all... was really rough because I felt partly at fault for his dragging. I just love both of them, so it was hard.

I also feel bad for what I was like in confessionals this season, from memory at some point, I went in on JJ, Mo and Caeleb in confessionals, and while I apologised for all, I still feel awful that I let myself get so worked up in this game to sort of snap at them? Like Mo is a genuine friend of mine, so the fact that he wrote like... a sentence and I got so pressed is really stupid, I love Mo so much and hope I can make it up to him. Caeleb I got so mad at after the Jones' idol play for literally no reason... like he outplayed me that round, and its so pathetic that I got mad at him for that. I think Caeleb played a PHENOMENAL game, and did so well.

If I had to predict the POTS of the season, I would say my top three would be Jones, Caeleb and Mitch. Jones is... Jones, she is so likable and has such charisma and hold over people, and her idol play was arguably the most impressive move of the season. Caeleb was someone I underestimated to such at the start of merge, but he played such an impressive middle game, and would've had my vote if I was voted out at F3. Mitch it sounds like was hated by the jury, but I think he played amazingly? Like he has been a target since F20, his name was thrown out so many times, and I just think he did so good? I lowkey think he would be my player of the season to be honest.

I wanna talk about the other jurors particularly that I haven't really referenced in this. Alex is someone I somehow feel most guilty about voting out? He is just such a genuinely good guy, and I think I had this preconceived notion of him as like a gamebot, when he is just so wholesome, I can't wait for him to return, and make single digits. scratch that, I can't wait for him to return and WIN.

I also wanna talk about Jules. I am such a Jules warrior? Like... such a Jules warrior? They were such a pleasure to work with, and I just love them so much. I did them dirty by not idoling them/telling them they were going, but they are someone I have SO much time, love and respect for.

Who else, omg JASON! He was the perfect final juror for yesterday's FTC, someone who went easy on Tom who needed that, and just... is such a wholesome good guy, I love Jason.

Anyway, this is already really, really long so I need to wrap this up. I just want to say how happy this season has made me, and how much of a pleasure its been apart of. I joined the ORG community right before a lot of messy personal stuff came my way, and a lot of my org memories are tied to that. I used to let my personal drama get itself interwoven in my games, and I would just be so emotional. To have a game where I could play hard, cracked and WELL, and just have fun has been such a pleasure, and Im so emo about it.

I just wanna thank the hosts again too, I literally am a full on Asya, Drew, Johnny and Seamus WARRIOR, I love all four of them for hosting my favourite org experience EVER, its been amazing. I've been such a crackhead, was the only OG Budva Tumblr Survior newbie to make merge, spammed my host chat with an unbelievable number of messages, been AWFUL at the bridge idol hunt system yet ended up with two idols, been a crackhead (bears repeating because of how much of a mess i was), its been... a time KLADSF

But yes. I just have had a phenomenal time, crackheads are gonna crackhead and this brit is joining the tumblr survivor royal family, and I truly could not be more excited.

[reztheripper-blog]

Rise of The Demon Huntress Part 3

 The front lines were in the city of Divitiae. Really nice place if you can ignore the raging demons killing every man, woman, and child in sight. We knew when we were getting close not because of the screams of those being slaughtered nor from the sight of fires spreading throughout the city, but from the scent of blood. Look, if anyone ever tells you blood isn't creepy, they're fucking insane (Or They're Alice. She actually enjoys the smell, then again, she's not the sanest person I know). It hit us like a wave, the metallic stench of death. As we got closer, the sounds we thought were sirens turned into the screams of the citizens and regular combat magicians (For reference, combat magicians are citizens who decide to defend a city if the need arises. They tend to do this until the military can arrive.) who were trying to hold off the demon onslaught.       "This is worse than the reports ever made it."  Alice said       Nero simply shook his head in sadness. "These people weren't meant to hold off such a large attack. They wouldn't have stood a chance."       "Well there may still be survivors. At worst, it overrun with demons and we all get brutally devoured. At best, we come across a fighting force and the douche who decided to cause this mess."       We wandered through the city encountering mainly dead people and demons. It was kind of a silver lining to say that it was an equal number of human and demon corpses, but at the quantity we were seeing, it was pretty bad. At one point there was a roving group of demons combing the streets looking for survivors. We had to avoid them as I didn't want to try and fight while getting Nero to the front lines. There was one strange occurrence that had all of us confused. There were several human corpses in a street and upon closer examination, they all had magical burns and weapon scratches (Demons leave a more ragged tear while weapons give a cleaner cut).         "Did they... kill each other?" I asked       Nero gave the bodies a long examination while me and Alice kept watch. "Whatever killed them was human. In fact most of them were killed with a combination of knife wounds and electrocution."       "Great. So one of our own decided to go rouge and start killing civilians? This just gets better and better." Alice said with a sigh. She turned to me and asked, "Do you think we should find them?"       "No. Hopefully whoever it is has moved far, far along."       I probably should've never said anything because the second I said that I felt a knife tip press against the back of my neck.       "Who are you?" A woman's voice asked from behind me.       "I think the better question is who are you? You kinda just came up from behind us and took me hostage."       "Nope, she got us all as hostages." Alice said as she slowly turned around to face me.       I had to do a double take, because last I remember, she was already facing me and was much farther away. Then it clicked instantly "That's not her." The shadow that was Alice dripped away and the real Alice came from behind our mysterious attacker and started to attack her instead.       "Stop fighting me or your healer gets it!!"         "Alice, stop!"       "Yes, please stop. I'd rather not die just yet." Nero said while being held hostage by a male attacker.       Alice stopped, but never sheathed her short sword. She grumbled something and came back to us.       "Now answer me: Who are you?" This strange woman asked us.       I guess it couldn't do any harm to tell her. Worst case scenario, we kill her. "I'm Melina Angelo," I pointed to Alice "the one who so kindly tried to murder you is Alice. That passive guy you have your goon pointing a knife at is Nero. And it's only courteous if you do the same and tell us your name."       The mysterious woman sighed and sheathed her knife. "I'm Natasha. Part of the actual group who is trying to stop the demon horde called the House of Knives."       This little statement piqued my interest as it would kind of explain the weird dead bodies we found. "So there's another group?"       "Yes, they're trying to help the demons invade our world. We don't know why, but we do know that these people all seem to reference meeting someone with strange eyes (Note: Strange eyes in the world of Favent means you have some really strange eyes. Like one neon green eye with a white spiral in it and another dull silver eye with purple rim around it) and the person offered them a well-paying job. We call them the "Controlled". You can tell them from other people because they're eyes are completely whited out. However, some still have normal eyes and will still religiously follow any order their leader gives."       "Well, shit. A cult basically?" I said       "In essence. Except they want the end of all humanity. Not enlightenment."       "We'll help you if you help us."       "It depends on what exactly it is you want."       "We want to find out who opened the Obice."       "Good. 'Cause the guy who did it is the leader. Kill him and you break the spell on the Controlled. Win-Win! I'll help you of course, because I remember the layout of the facility. I used to work there actually."       "Where is it?"       "You're not gonna like it. The weapon's facility 'Divitiae's Finest' is where their going and producing all of their equipment."       "Um... could you please call off your guy here? This knife is really digging into my throat." Nero complained       "Oh yeah, Marcus you can let him go. Head back to base and tell them I'm going to be doing a raid on the Controllers and to not worry."       Marcus let Nero go and proceeded to leave, but there was a more pressing concern here: What exactly was controlling these people? If it were a demon, that meant someone managed to do a controlled summon and did it basically across dimensions. They would be a powerful magician and a decent threat.       We were approaching the weapon facility, when that large group of demons decided now would be the perfect time to appear in front of us. And this time there was no hiding from them.       "Hey Alice, mind doing me a favor and getting it dark for them?" I glanced at Nero, "Please stay as far back from the combat as possible. But not so far we can't help you."       "I'll be back about one block." Nero said as he hurried along       I looked at Natasha, "I guess you do what you do best."       "Kill shit?"       "Oh yes!!" And we all ran at the horde of demons.       It was freakin' awesome! Alice had all of the demons near blinded by her Shadow Sorcery and Natasha was like a deadly dancer on the battlefield! She whirled her knives and always found her mark. Around her, graceful splashes of blackened blood sprayed from dead demons as they dropped like flies. Me? I just went and had fun (If you're gonna die, at least have your last moments having a blast). I changed my weapon into a scythe and started to spin it through demons. I really loved this blade! I could hear the bone shattering in the demons, but it left the cleanest cuts I'd ever seen. I swept through the demons like they were butter. At one point I changed it into a sword and it was unreal. I could cleave off entire limbs in a single, effortless swing and pierce the thick demon plating surrounding a demon's chest like it wasn't even there. Alice was like a ghost in the battle, appearing in one spot then killing another enemy elsewhere or making two enemies kill each other as they lunged their claws at her shadow image.        As epic as we were, however, we weren't invincible. I got dangerously close to dying as a demon faked a lunge and bit my arm. There aren't too many things in this world that hurt blindingly, but that is a whole new level of pain. I probably would have died because I couldn't get to my sword (It clattered out of my hand when I fell) and he was gnawing on my better (-ish) arm (I'm ambidextrous). He stopped biting my arm to attack my face, but I grabbed him by the throat and began to bash his brain matter on the concrete.         I had to save Alice from getting mauled to death. Even though she's a talented fighter, it's not her style to head-on fight someone. She tends to pick enemies off and use mass confusion. So when she got surrounded by five of the more vicious looking demons (Bloodier scales, sharper teeth, actually had horns, smelled really bad), I kinda jumped in to save her. She gave me the "Thank you" nod as a response.       Natasha saved my ass twice. Once when a strange demon that looked like a chicken (Writer's Note: Picture a velociraptor and you have a perfect idea. Act 2 will explain why this term doesn't exist) with arms knocked me over and tried to gut me with its claws. She simply jumped over it and slit its throat with both of her knives, then helped me up. Another time, it was more of a mutual assistance. We ended up back to back and began to just murder everything in sight. When she ducked I would back swing over her and kill all demons that were in front of her. When I did a side dodge, she would reach her knife out and impale whatever was in front of me (Luckily she never nicked me. I think her knives were poisoned.). It was glorious in-tandem killing!!       After maybe 30 minutes or so, we killed them all. About 75 demons slain because they chose the wrong corner to turn on.       "NEEERRROOOO!!!!!!" I called out "IT'S SAAAAFEEE!!!"       He came peeking around a corner and walked out, but he didn't walk like he normally did. Once I noticed the blood on his hands, demon blood, I rushed over to help, trying to remember any healing spells (Look! You try and remember thousands of incantations, spell circles, concoctions, and other stuff! Shit's hard! Then Healing classes only meet during the winter for 2 weeks. It's total bullshit, but I digress in my digression).         He had heavy, labored breathing which meant he was either losing a lot of blood or about to die. I was kinda hoping for the former. "Nero, where are you hurt?" I said in my professional voice       "My... my back. Snuck... away and....." He trailed off       I flipped him over and saw the four long scars going across his back. "Uhhh......"       Natasha came over and immediately saw what was wrong. "Sana" she whispered. Suddenly Nero was encased in a dim white light for a few seconds and once it dimmed everything on him was repaired, even his clothing. Some of his hair had even reversed from graying!!       "What spell is that?!!" I asked, incredulous at the results I just saw       "It's a Grandmaster level spell of healing. Don't ask how I know it and no, I'm not an ex-Grandmaster."       Alice suddenly warped in front of us carrying one beat-up, wimpy demon. "While you two were here chatting away, burning time away, I found us a demon to interrogate. He should know what to expect around here." She started to slowly strangle the demon, "IN PERFECT FUCKING DETAIL!!!!!"       I told you she was a bit psycho. We set up something resembling a camp and looted nearby stores (Yeah, I know it's a crime. Fucking hang me. Oh, wait you already are planning to kill me!) for supplies. We still had some way to go before we reached to weapons facility and a lot more to learn about this threat of the "Controllers".                                                  [End Part 3]

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.