#fun fact all the nicknames for drugs are actual nicknames from the 20s and 30s

[acequeenking]

4. Been to Hell (& Back Again)

Written for @sephweek prompt #4: Been to Hell and Back Again.

Pairing: Hades & Zagreus (Hadsephone son OC)

Summary: In which Persephone’s boys are together again, talking about a woman who isn’t there.

Now here comes a man, a man with broad shoulders, coming up to a train station. He ain't been there in a while, though he knows the way. Always knew the way. Knew the way before there was a station to call upon. Would close his eyes and beat feet and find his way here even if he’d set off with no destination at all.

That’s just the way the underworld works when you’re a born citizen there. Always wants you back, and sooner or later, you go.

But for Zagreus, well, it ain't usual for him to obey that call. He’s always been his mother’s son, and his mother’s mother’s sun, which is to say that he has lived for sunshine and honeybees, sweet air and mountain springs. Not to say he ain’t got something of his Pa too – but he’s been a man partial to a sweet summer’s day and he’s chosen his living accordingly. He’s always been closer to his Ma and Maw-Maw. Maw-Maw usually makes sure to visit his farm every winter, and Ma for a week or so in the summer, and that’s just peaches with him, even if Maw-Maw does cluck her tongue on his choice of crops and Ma clucks hers at his fancy tractors and tillers and all sorts of new equipment, sometimes courtesy of Pa.

Now, Pa and him have been distant for a while; there's nothing between them that can't be expressed better from afar and seems both of them have been alright with that. Pa usually sends a few notes, at least six a year, always in the summer months, and Zagreus dutifully always writes back. Neither of them prone to much flourish, a half a page or less each missive, but he knows his Pa loves him, deep down. Don’t buy a man a tractor if you ain’t got love in your heart for him, and Zagreus long ago learned that presents and provisions are Pa’s way of saying his love.

But Pa’s letters, cryptic though they are, are enough to make Zagreus wonder a’times.

Pa’s talked about changes he’s making for Ma, and Ma has talked about changes Pa has made that she ain’t happy about, but no one seems to want to bother to tell the baby boy just what those changes have been. Ma in particular seems sour on it all; she ain't said a complementary word about Pa in a long, long time. Pa used to talk ‘bout Ma a lot in his letters but less so over the last few years.

Sometimes in the winter when the wind howls too strong, Zagreus pulls out his letters and looks through, each one, and tries to see where it’s all gone wrong. Once he gets to a mind to ask his most frequent visitor Mr. Hermes, most holy uncle, how Pa and Ma is doin', and what he gets is: never you mind, young Zagreus.

Which is to say, Zagreus is pretty sure that his parent's long, long marriage is in the shitter. And he isn’t sure who caused it or what caused it, but it’s a sad state of affairs, and he tries not to think on it so much.

But then Pa sent him a letter, a winter letter, most unusual, and asks him a simple question: let’s meet up upon the train, at this time and in this place.

And Pa rarely asks for such a meeting. And when Pa does ask for such a meeting, one feels compelled to come, for Pa rarely asks twice.

And so now here he is. Sitting on a train station bench, itself uncomfortable. Himself uncomfortable too; his collar itches. He scratches at it but with the gloves he’s got to wear, on account of the cold, well, it ain’t really bluntin’ the itch.

So he tries to think of other things, more joyous things. Blueberry pie, fresh from Maw Maw’s oven with a big scoop of her ice cream on top. Ooh, yeah, that’s nice. Then he thinks of Mr. Hermes�� new little fella, whose only ten but gawky and sweet and gonna be a right heartbreaker on that guitar when he grows into his godhood just a bit more. When Pa still ain’t arrived by the time he’s gotten through that, he thinks about Grannie Rhee’s pecans, which arrive every so often when he has a craving, and he ain’t never worked out how she knows such things. Thinks about his own crops for next year: sativas, he thinks. Ma likes sativa best, and she’s his best customer at this point.

‘Sides he ain’t never been able to say no to his Ma.

He finally hears the train in the distance and brightens up; be right nice to see Pa and Ma together, right nice. Might be able to figure out what’s going on with them together, maybe even nose his way in and figure out what’s goin’ on with them up-close. He’s always played the peacemaker in the family. Ma and Pa love one another very much but both is pig-iron stupid in a lot of tiresome ways, too proud by half.

Thankfully, Zagreus takes after some other relative there. Not sure which, but he’s a more practical sort. Maw-Maw always said so, was always proud that he could sheaf a corn in less than thirty seconds, could grow and crack a walnut down to just a nut in a minute or less.

Train comes in. Zagreus stands, puts his hands in the pockets on his leather jacket. Still cold. Cripes but Pa and Ma are makin’ it mighty cold this year.

A door opens and a man steps out and he brightens, holds open his arms. Pa ain’t the sort to hug, really, unless he’s got an invitation. Zagreus, being a most practical man, offers the invitation.

Pa don’t look so happy, and, more to the point, Pa looks old and tired: Pa’s hair is bright-white, which it’s been a while, but it looks more dull than its ever been. Pa’s jacket is long and leather and Pa’s wearin’ it like a security blanket, with his arms clutched at his sides.

Which is to say, woo boy, Pa is in a mighty poor mood.

“Pa!” He shouts, and this induces only the slightest smile. Pa’s smiles are always slight but this one slighter than usual, just a half-vestigial tug of the lips. Sigh. Pa – Pa needs a hug.

And Zagreus, like his mother, does like to provide.

“C’mon, Pa, give your boy a hug.” He crosses the few steps between them and throws his arms around Pa, who freezes up as he ain’t done in a long time, not since Zagreus was a boy and Zagreus was a boy a mighty number of years ago now. But pa’s hands do slowly wind round his shoulders, and he holds him a long time there, Pa’s head on his shoulder and his head on Pa’s.

Pa smells like soot and dirt, and it’s comforting in a way, a smell of home. Pa’s hand, hesitantly, comes round to gently touch his curly hair and he leans into the touch. Pa’s got to be kind of swept in, but he gives good hugs when he gets tricked into it.

“I missed you, Pa,” he says.

“My boy,” says Pa, voice deeper than any river. “My boy.” Pa keeps him in a long hug then, and it’s pleasant, but also makes Zagreus wary. Pa never was the type for long hugs.

And when he peers over Pa’s shoulder, he don’t see little Ma on the train, patiently waiting her turn. And Ma always is waiting for a hug, least from Zagreus.

“Ma ain’t come?” He says, and he hears a little tremor, even in his own deep voice. “It’s winter…”

“Not this time.” He claps once more on Zagreus shoulder, and a five-alarm fire bell starts going off in Zagreus’ head: my god, they’ve finally done it ain’t they, Ma and Pa, ‘bout to tell him he’s going to be a child of divorce though of course at his age ain’t much a child about Zagreus anymore. “C’mon my boy. Ride with me. Want to – want to talk to you alone.”

“Is Ma okay?” Words come out before he can stop them. It’s been a couple years since he’s heard much from Ma, herself being more distant than usual. Ma can be mercurial at times and he’s assumed she’s just been a bit down, but Maw-Maw has said she’s spending more time with Pa and Pa – Pa don’t look like a man full of time with Ma.

“She’s alive, unhurt.” Which didn’t mean well, he knew well enough. Pa’s arm hasn’t left his shoulder, but now he moves him to the train. “Come, come.”

And so he rides. Been a long time since Zagreus has run the line with his Pa; last time, this train was brand new and Pa’s train looks – well, not quite lived in, but it looks like it’s Had a Time. He sits down on one of Pa’s little seats and Pa, to his surprise, sits in the next chair across. Normally Pa sits opposite, likes to look at a man to take his measure. Not today.

“How’s it goin’?” Pa asks, which is trouble indeed because Pa ain’t the sort that bothers with small talk. Pa small talking is nothing but bad news.

“It’s going jus’ fine.” He tries to smile, feels sweat at his neck and dabs at it. He wishes Ma was here, Ma who is always better at drawing out Pa’s anxieties. “Thank you mighty for the engine advice, by the by. It was the carburetor.”

“Always is,” says his father; he looks away, looking at the train’s track as it passes through the forests near Ma’s little home away from home. “Bloody things.”

“Yeah.” Pa nods and seems content with that for a long moment, and Zagreus can only keep the talk going so long. Just can’t last it, his chatter about what he’s been fixing up in the winter getting swallowed up by his father’s monosyllabic groans and grunts.

The lights go out, fast. He raises his eyebrows; somehow, he’s been surprised by going down. Himself, the only one born down here. Seems he ought not be taken by surprise, but that’s the Underworld for you. Always catches one unaware.

His father waves a hand in the darkness; Zagreus alarm grows as the train slowly, agonizingly, stops. It takes his father a moment, but he truly does stop the whole system from running with just a wave of his hand.

“Pa…?” He asks, with a shaky breath. Lots of people are afraid of his Pa, but until this moment, Zagreus ain’t never counted himself in their number. “Pa, what’s goin’…?”

“Now,” his father rasps. “No witnesses.”

Before he can even so much as ask what the fuck his father is on, his father stands, digging through his leather coat’s pockets. Pa tosses two little baggies down next to Zagreus.

“Son,” he says, his voice heavy. “I’ll only ask once.”

“What?” He stares at the baggies; the first is full of little tablets, white little ones. Don’t look factory-made, so ain’t something Pa made. Which means they come from—he swallows. Aw, Ma.

“Did you supply your mother…?” He asks, his voice heavier with regret than he thinks Pa has ever sounded. “This your idea…?”

“Ma ain’t never done the heavy stuff,” he says, picking up the second bag and finding it filled with a white powder. He is pretty sure he knows what this is, and knows it takes Pa’s earnings to have a bag this full of it. “And all I ever supplied her with is smokin’ muggle.” Marijuana’s all he’s ever grown for Ma, herself not having space for it in her own gardens, not with Maw Maw nosing about.

His Pa looks at him a long moment. Pa’s got to be a good judge of people, himself being the judge of all people. He stares at his son with that supernatural stare, and Zagreus squirms underneath it.

“I ain’t seen Ma in a few years, Pa. She ain’t been comin’ in springtime. Thought she was – just busy.”

His father wordlessly puts his hands in his pockets. Stands. Stares. “That’s the Gods’ honest truth, Pa. Swear to the Styx.”

“Swear to me,” his father mumbles, and Zagreus stands. Just as tall as his dad, just about.

“Fine, Pa. I swear upon your chromium throne, upon your wealth and your riches and your love for Ma and the dog and me and all the souls upon your employ. I swear to you, I ain’t never messed with the heavy stuff. And if I did, I wouldn’t sell it to my Ma. May you strike me dead, Pa, if you find such a lie.”

He’s breathing hard, and breathes hard still as Pa’s hand shoots out, grips – lightly – on his shoulder. Pa’s studying him a long moment, then he nods.

“So you know nothing, then?” He asks.

“If I did, you think I wouldn’t tell you?! You think – Jesum, Pa, what happened to you and Ma? She ain’t never done the heavy stuff.”

“She has, now. On it more than off.” His father collapses into the chair opposite him, his body sagging. “Do you know what those are?”

“Pills could be lots of things. Powder, too, but…” But they both know it’s likely cocaine. Which is a hard thing for Ma to make all her lonesome, but he don’t say that.

“What happened?” Zagreus asks, his voice spit-fire. “What the fuck happened, Pa? Everything seemed right as rain a couple years ago, and then—”

“I don’t—I don’t know,” his father murmurs. “I don’t know.”

“Fuck’s sake Pa, what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” says Pa again. “I just don’t.”

“Damn,” he says. They’re both silent for a long moment, collapsed into their seats. Pa’s all but crumpled into his, an obvious wounded wolf who’ll snarl if Zagreus comes on too fast. But Zagreus, himself, ain’t quite Pa’s breed, and the wounded puppy he is wants nothing more than to go and comfort Pa’s wounds.

But he knows better, so he just licks at his own, trying to figure out: What on earth is Ma doin’? Ma ain’t never liked the heavy stuff. Dangerous, Ma used to say, to try to escape your own mind. Now Ma was chasin’ labyrinths with Bolivian marching powder? And Pa ain’t got a thing to say? Shit. And to think Pa used to look down on him for growin’ some goof butts.

Pa snaps his fingers and the train starts again. “I assume you want to be dropped off back…?”

“No,” he says, soft. “I want to see her, Pa. I got to—I got to see her.” Pa looks at him, the look unknowable and vacant, and that worries him too.

Now it’s rare for them to have multiple signs of affection in a day, but Zagreus can’t resist getting up, grabbin’ Pa’s hand which is far, far older than he remembers: the golden veins more prominent, the skin drier. “You know it’d make her happy. Her boys, together again.”

“Her boys, again.” His father raises an eyebrow, going back and forth in the decision for a long moment. “Alright. Sit lively, then.”

And so he does. But as Hadestown rolls in, and he sees how much it’s grown – well, he gets an idea, maybe, of what’s bothering his Ma.

But Pa don’t see it, his eyes dark even in the blinding light of the hell-fire, and Zagreus wonders, maybe, if things have gone so far even he can’t quite bring it back.

Ma and Pa, after all, always were awful stubborn.

[topsytervy]

Goodbye ~ Rafe Cameron

Blurb: You and Rafe were dating until you realized he changed way too much...and not for the better.

Word Count: maybe 4,300 (i did some last minute editing)

Warnings: mentions of drugs (coke and weed), hints at sex, swearing, toxic behavior, age gap (16 and 19), canon Rafe (minus the murder), grammar/spelling mistakes,i think thats it.

One thing before you read:

This takes place with the reader being 16 and Rafe 19 so Im just going to say this. THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND ACCORDING TO GOOGLE THE AGE OF CONSENT IN NORTH CAROLINA IS 16. STILL, I DO NOT CONDONE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE A PARTNER(S) IS AN ADULT AND THE OTHER(S) IS A MINOR. THIS IS JUST FICTION!

Not me already thinking of a part 2 where they reunite years later at John B and Sarahs wedding

~~~~~~~~~

You dated Rafe Cameron for a bit, starting your relationship months before his downward spiral. Key words there being dated and a bit. Almost a year. 11 months 17 days and 5 hours to be exact but who was counting.

Rafe Cameron was.

Out of the 11 months 17 days and 5 hours that your relationship lasted, you two spent 11 months 2 days and 30 minutes with each other and they were the best 11 months 2 days and 30 minutes of his life. 

You broke it off though after he had promised that he would try to quit his drug habit, his coke habit to be more precise, and didn't. Whenever you tried to help him, he'd push you away and say, 'I can take care of my own shit, Y/N. I don't need you to help'. 

The last straw was when he drove up to Barrys, you in the passenger seat next to him, unamused since he said he'd be taking you to the beach but didn't, opting out to fulfill the hunger of coke instead.

"Rafe, please. You're doing so well. We can still go back home. Lay down, watch a movie, have some fun…" You trailed off, thinking that the last option would definitely have him turning back.

"After this, Y/N/N. Then we can have all the fun we want." He smirked.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "It's no fun when you're high." You mumbled under your breath.

He parked the car and told you to stay put, which you chose to ignore as you promptly swung the door passenger open and hopped out of the vehicle. After all, you were all dressed and ready for the beach, eagerly waiting to feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin -and to see your boyfriend shirtless- and instead, you were at Barrys. Not to pay off a debt and say Rafe was out, but too get more cocaine. You were upset and you were going to make sure he saw you each second he was with you so he'd feel bad about breaking his promise. Rafe rolled his eyes as you followed him inside, not really wanting Barry to see you.

Rafe and Barry greeted each other and you followed them towards Barry's room where the exchange was made. Rafe watched Barry count the money, his index finger tapping on the side of his leg as he waited. You stood in the corner of the room, unamused by your boyfriend as you watched him begin to chew on his lip as Barry furrowed his eyebrows and recounted.

"What are you trying to do, country club?" Barry finally asked.

"What do you mean?" A confused look crossed Rafe's face.

"You're 20 bucks short, man. You think you can just stiff me?"

Rafe looked at you and you held up your hands. "Why are you looking at me? I don't wanna be here in the first place and where the fuck would I hide 20 bucks? My bikini top." You glared. Rafe shot you another look. "I'm serious, Rafe. You wanna frisk me, be my fucking guest." 

Rafe looked at your face and saw you were telling the truth before turning back to Barry, who was eyeing you up as you talked at Rafe but moved his gaze back to the man in front of him when he thought of an idea.

"You know, country club. I could let it slide and still give you what you want. You'd just have to keep it hush-hush." He smirked.

"What do you want in exchange then? My truck? Bike? Uh…my watch?" Rafe began to take off the watch his father gave him but Barry held up his head, causing Rafe to look up at him.

"A couple of hours with her." Rafe followed Barry's pointer finger and saw you raise your eyebrows.

"Excuse me? Do I look like I wanna have sex with you?" You asked.

Barry's smirk only grew. "I like you. You're a feisty little thing I can tell."

Don't I know it, Rafe thought to himself as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

You had to stop yourself from letting your jaw drop. He was actually thinking about it.

Rafe Cameron, your boyfriend, the guy who decked a kid in the jaw who had accidentally brushed his hand against yours when at a kegger once, was actually considering this guy's proposal. 

If Rafe said yes, you were a goner. There was no way you could overpower Barry. You could barely overpower your 12 year old brother when fighting for the remote and he was weak as hell.

"No. Its fine. Just give me the cash back and I'll come back when I have the 20." Barry gave him back the cash and Rafe nodded his head towards the door. "Lets go, baby."

You walked in front of Rafe and made your way outside, stopping right next to the passenger door, not opening it. 

Rafe came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Lets get home, baby. Put on a movie and lay down, have some fun just like you suggested." He grinned, kissing your neck as he repeated what you had said not even ten minutes ago.

You shrugged him off and rolled your eyes.

"What's up with that?" He asked, slightly offended at the actions.

"You actually thought about leaving me alone for a couple of hours with that guy, Rafe. That's what's up with that." You turned around to face him.

"I didn't though."

"You still thought about it Rafe. You thought about letting that man, that slimey, greasy, man, have his way with me just so you could get some coke."

"Hey, you're not in there with him, though. You're out here with me. Aren't you, Y/N/N?" You didn't respond. "Aren't you?!" Rafe hollered, causing you to jump slightly.

"Let me ask you this, Rafe. If someone came up to me right now and asked if I'd break up with you to date my celebrity crush, and I stopped to think about it instead of saying no right away, how would you feel?" Rafe clenched his jaw and didn't respond. "How do you think I feel right now after knowing that my jealous, possessive boyfriend who hates when a guy even looks at me, stopped and thought about a proposition his drug dealer brought up that meant he could still get his cocaine if he let his dealer fuck me and he'd let the 20 dollars slide."

"You don't know if he was going to fuck you." 

You let out a laugh in disbelief. "Don't play dumb, Rafe. You know exactly what he was going to do."

Rafe didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and started counting to ten to try and calm down so he could reason with you. He opened his eyes and went to speak but you were gone. "God, fuckin a." He cussed, grabbing his keys from his pocket and jogging to the driver side. 

He climbed in and started the vehicle before tearing out of the driveway. It's not like you had gotten far, jogging was faster than walking but not by much and Rafe saw you after just a mere 30 seconds of driving. You had slowed to a walk and when you saw his truck pull alongside you, you rolled your eyes and returned your gaze to the road in front of you. 

"Baby. Let's talk about this like adults." He sighed.

When you didn't answer, he sped up just a smidge so the bed was next to you, and pulled to the side of the road, getting out of the truck.

He stood in front of you. "You shouldn't be walking home. It's too far." You ignored him, going to walk around him but he just moved to be in front of you again. 

"Rafe, I'm warning you. Back the fuck off right now." 

"Just get in the truck and then we'll talk about whatever is going on up in that head of yours." He said gently.

"I already told you what was going on. You seriously thought about selling me out for sex just so you could get high."

"Y/N/N, get in the truck."

"It was disgusting that you hesitated before saying no.  What happened to me being your girl and no one else touching me or else you'd cave their skull in back there?"

"Get in the truck." He ran his hand through his hair, feeling himself getting angrier and trying to remain calm.

He didn't like yelling at you or getting angry at you, knowing how it scared you when he wasn't even yelling at you but someone else.

"You know, why can't you just get high with weed like JJ." 

And that was it. 

Rafe reached out and grabbed your chin, yanking you close. "Get in the fucking truck, Y/N." He seethed, his voice dangerously low. You tried to keep your face as neutral as possible despite how you felt on the inside. "Now!" Rafe yelled.

You flinched slightly before yanking your face from his grip and climbing into the passenger seat. You looked out the window as Rafe walked over to his side and climbed back in. 

You were a bit shaken up if you were being honest. Rafe had never yelled at you before today or called you by your actual name. It was usually your nickname or baby. He had also never grabbed you like that outside of the bedroom.

"I try to have a civil fucking conversation with you and you walk away. How fucking mature is that?" Rafe glanced over at you and you could feel his eyes on you but you just kept looking out the window. "And the fact that you think that just because I hesitated, I was going to give you over to Barry is fucking ridiculous. My brain was processing what he said, not thinking of letting him fuck you." Rafe was actually thinking of Barry's offer but you didn't need to know that for sure. "You're mine, Y/N. You hear that? M-I-N-E. Mine. I don't share my things with anyone and you know this." 

You swallowed hard at his words, taking in the toxicity of your situation right now. He wasn't the same Rafe that you started dating all those months ago. He was far from the Rafe who you let take your virginity when you hit month six of your relationship. He was far from the Rafe that the minute you said you were uncomfortable, was taking you away from whatever was making you uncomfortable or stopping what you were doing.

He was far from the Rafe you had fallen for.

"Drop me off at the chateau." You mumbled causing Rafe to stop his speech. 

"What?"

"Drop me off at the chateau." You said louder and slower. 

"What if I don't want to?" He huffed.

"Drop me off at the chateau or I'm calling JJ and he's gonna meet me at Tanneyhill and I'll let him tear you apart." 

Rafe's eyes left the road and he looked at you, still staring out the window. Rafe didn't say anything, just drove you where you told him to. 

The pogues sat on the porch and watched as Rafe's truck pulled up. 

Pope looked around at the group. "Weren't they supposed to be at the beach?" 

Kie shrugged as she watched your door swing open before the truck parked. "That's different. She's never done that before." She raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" John B asked.

"She just hopped out of Rafe's truck before it stopped. She usually stays in there for a minute after he parks." Kie nodded towards you as you walked towards them, rolling her eyes as if the boys should've known that.

Rafe sighed as he parked the truck and hopped out, jogging up to you and grabbing your arm. 

"Please just come back to Tanneyhill with me, Y/N, and we'll talk." 

You shook your head, retching your arm away from him. "We're done. Don't call me, don't text me, don't contact me at all. I can't do this anymore Rafe. I've tried helping you and being there for you and everything else during this...this...obstacle in your life and it's like you're not even trying anymore." You told him with tears in your eyes.

"What? No. No. No. I'm gonna get my shit together." He ran his hand through his hair.

Your friends stood up and slowly made their way over, not to eavesdrop, but just in case things took a turn.

"You keep saying that Rafe and I keep believing you but I can't. Not anymore. Not after today." You lamented, "Bye, Rafe. I wish you the best." You quickly turned and jogged into the chateau, feeling the tears start to fall.

"Y/N," he called, about to go after you but John B and JJ stopped him as the other two followed you inside. "Y/N!" He attempted to shrug off your two friends but when it was clear that they would not be letting him follow you without a fight, he pulled away, walking backwards to his truck. "I'll come back! You know I will! You're my girl!" He shouted as loud as he could.

John B and JJ stepped forward and Rafe pursed his lips before climbing into his truck. John B and JJ watched Rafe drive away before heading inside. John B sighed as he heard you cry in the bathroom, plopping down on the couch next to Pope as JJ found his home on the floor.

"Do we know what happened that finally made her break?" JJ asked, wanting nothing more to break the Cameron boys nose.

Pope shrugged before nodding towards the bathroom. "Kie's in there right now trying to calm her down and get her to talk about it." John B rubbed a hand over his face. "She's his girl? Really?" Pope raised an eyebrow, letting the two boys know that Rafes little shout was heard.

John B shook his head. "Not anymore. I think it'll take a miracle for her to go back to him."

"And he'd really come back here just to try and get her back?"

JJ looked at Pope with a serious expression. "He can fucking try but if he even looks at her, I'll break him. I'll take her to work with me if it means not leaving her alone for Rafe to show up and try to weasel back in." 

Pope licked his lips. "She seemed so happy with him in the beginning. I was honestly kind of rooting for them."

John B looked at Pope. "I think we all were." 

"And she was happy with him. Then he decided that coke should join the relationship and that's when it all went downhill." JJ added.

After an hour had passed and no more crying was heard, the three pogue boys got up and made their way to the bathroom.

JJ knocked on the door and Kie immediately answered. "Come in."

He opened the door slowly to avoid hitting anyone before the three boys made their way into the bathroom. It was a bit cramped but no one complained as they looked down at you with your head on Kie's lap, eyes closed as you slept.

"What happened ?" Pope whispered.

"He went to Barry's and was short twenty dollars. Barry said Rafe could still get the coke and not have to worry about the twenty if he could have a couple hours with her."  Kie started.

"Sounds about par for the course for Barry," JJ mumbled, knowing all about the dealer.

"Rafe thought about it before saying no. After a small argument and explanation as to why she saw his hesitation as a problem, she started walking. He followed, told her multiple to get in the truck but she didn't, and then he grabbed her roughly and told her one more time and she did because she was scared." The curly haired girl sighed.

The boys all shot each other a look but Kie quickly shut it down. "No. You are not fighting him. That will just cause more problems. We're going to ignore his existence and be here for Y/N. Understand?" No one spoke. "I said, Understand?" Kie said more sternly.

The boys all mumbled the agreements and JJ crossed his fingers out of sight. If Kie thought he was going to just let it all slide right by, she was wrong. No one hurt his friends and got away with it. She should know this by now.

"Now, can one of you be useful and put her to bed? Or am I just going to have to do it myself?" Kie raised an eyebrow.

"I got her." JJ muttered, walking over to Kie and picking you up gently.

He took you into what he claimed as his room and placed you on the bed, throwing a blanket over. He turned to leave but stopped, biting his lip for a second before turning back around and giving you a kiss on your forehead.

Now, here Rafe was, six months later, at The Wreck with Kelce and Topper, watching JJ and you wait for your food at the counter.

Rafe made a face and at the sight of you two close together and thats when he noticed JJ's arms around you, swaying you two back and forth.

Rafe's jaw clenched as did his hand that was around his glass of water. "What the hell is he doing with his arms around her?" His eyes narrowed.

Kelce and Topper looked at each other before holding up their fists. 

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot."

Topper groaned as Kelce whooped with victory. "Tell him, Top."

"JJ and Y/N have been together for like a month and a half now." Topper muttered.

Rafe stared at his two friends. "And you guys didn't tell me?" 

"Well, we didn't think it was important and you seemed to be doing alright finally so we just kind of- Where are you going?!" Kelce asked when he saw Rafe get up from the table and walk out the door.

The two friends looked to where you and JJ were standing only to find you two not there.

They immediately got up, Topper pulling a 50 from his wallet and putting it on the table while screaming a 'keep the change Kiara' as they both ran out.

They watched as Rafe's truck pulled past them and out of The Wrecks parking lot.

"Hey man! You're our ride!" Kelce hollered.

Rafe's hand gripped the steering wheel as he drove, jaw still clenched. He stopped at a stop sign and slammed his hand on the wheel in anger. It was months after your guys break up and Rafe hadn't even looked at another girl the same way he looked at you, let alone thought about getting into a new relationship. But here you were, dating JJ Maybank for a month and a half apparently.

You always had been known as Rafe's girl, even after the break-up. He made it practically impossible for any guy to even think about talking to you because Rafe had the full intention of getting you back. 

But, of course, in classic JJ style, JJ had to steal what was his. Now you were referred to as JJ's girl but Rafe was too high or out of it to notice the change.

He pulled into the driveway of the chateau minutes after you and JJ did, you laughing at something JJ had said as you got out of his truck.  

You heard a car door slam and looked behind you, calling for JJ when you saw an all too familiar vehicle.

JJ came around to stand next to you and his eyes narrowed as Rafe stormed over.

"Im gonna beat you so bad you'll think your daddy did it, Maybank!" 

"Rafe! What the hell are you doing here?" You shouted at your ex.

"I wanna know why the hell I just heard that you're going out with him?!" Rafe stopped right in front of you.

You could feel the rage coming off of Rafe and you opened your mouth to speak but JJ stepped in between you two. 

"I suggest you back the fuck up and move on, Cameron." 

"What's funny is I'm not here for you, JJ. So I suggest you get the fuck out of the way so I can talk to Y/N/N."

JJ narrowed his eyes. "Over my dead body."

Rafe chuckled darkly as he nodded his head slightly. "That can be arranged."

"Rafe, JJ. Stop. This is fucking ridiculous." You pulled JJ back by his upper arm before turning your gaze onto Rafe. "We broke up Rafe. It's time for you to move on."

"No. You don't get to tell me when I should move on, Y/N. You don't get to tell me any of that typical bullshit okay? I already told you all those months ago that you're mine and that hasn't changed." He shot at you.

JJ smirked. "I think it has because now the whole island knows her as JJ's girl. Not Rafe's. JJ's."

Rafe took a step closer. "You watch your mouth, Maybank." 

"Or what? You gonna swing on me? I hope you do so I have a reason for beating you shitless." 

You turned to JJ. "Since you're not helping with this conversation, why don't you help by bringing the food inside." You held out the bag that contained your guys lunch and JJ sighed, taking it.

Not without one last jab at Rafe though by kissing you on the lips right in front of him. You were quick to stop a ready-to-pounce Rafe who went to lunge at JJ, but your boyfriend just smirked at your ex before heading inside.

"I'm gonna kill him." Rafe said, fists clenching.

"No you're not. Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm happy?"

"Because you're happiest when you're with me. Remember saying that to me that one night? When we were walking around at like 2 AM and you just said it out of the blue and then blushed cause it was only a month into our relationship and you didn't mean to say it out loud. You immediately apologized cause it was stupid and corny but I told you it wasn't if it was true and that I felt the same way with you. Remember that, Y/N." His demeanor changed from hostile to soft.

You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. "That was before you were snorting lines for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was before everything changed. Before you changed, Rafe." Rafe looked down at the ground in shame, fiddling with his fingers. "I wish that I tried harder to help you and keep you from where you are now. I wish I hadn't pushed your buttons that day when you told me to get in the truck and that I acted more mature than I did. I also wish I hadn't said the weed comment cause I know how much you can't stand JJ and were insecure because of my friendship with him and I guess you kind of had a right to be considering whats going on between me and him right now. In a way, I kind of egged you on with not letting you talk but that day you grabbed me and yelled at me, that was it. I couldn't stay any longer. That was the first time I ever felt scared of you."

Rafe felt regret and sadness wash over him. "There is absolutely no excuse for the way I grabbed you that day or how I spoke to you. That was wrong of me and I shouldn't have done that no matter how angry I was. I'm so fucking sorry for that. It's one of my biggest regrets." Rafe admitted looking at you. "If I could redo that day, I wouldn't have done any of that. I wouldn't have even gone to Barry's. We would've just gone to the beach like you wanted and then went back to my place for a shower and then watched 50 First Dates because you always watch that movie after a beach day. If I could go back before then, I wouldn't have had that line that started it all and we would've just stayed home from that damn party. " 

You smiled softly. "I appreciate you owning up to your actions, Rafe but that doesn't change anything that's happening right now. I'm not going to break up with JJ just to get back together with you while you're still using. Maybe at some point in the future we'll find our way back to each other but right now, you need to focus on yourself and getting yourself help so you can get better."

Rafe nodded slowly and it was quiet for a minute before he mumbled. "Does he treat you alright?"

"Hmm?"

"Does JJ treat you alright?" He asked a bit louder.

You smiled. "Yeah, he does."

Rafe nodded. "That's-" Rafe felt his voice crack and he cleared his throat. "That's really good, Y/N/N."

You placed your hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze, kind of like how a grandma would. "Take care of yourself, Rafe." Rafe nodded again. "Goodbye, Rafe." You sent him a small sad smile before walking off to the chateau.

Rafe couldn't bring himself to say that though. Instead, he said the one thing he never got to.

"I love you."

~~~~~~~~

[survivalphoenix]

introducing... JOMARY CABATU aka BUBBLES!

SEND HER COMMENTS OR MESSAGES NOW USING THE HASHTAG #RoF_BUBBLES !

personal information.

birth name: jomary may cabatu

stage name: bubbles

nickname/s: jm, jo, jomang, yeng (does not like it when fans call her this; it’s reserved for family and really close friends)

date of birth: june 30, 2001

current age: 19 (kor: 20)

place of birth: tagbilaran city, bohol, philippines

ethnicity: filipino (visayan)

nationality: filipino, korean

sexuality: heterosexual

height: 5′6″

possible positions (based on audition, past performance footage, and current information): main/lead vocalist, main/lead dancer, center, maknae

representative symbol: gummy bears

has been a trainee for: 3 years

language/s spoken: bisaya, korean, tagalog, english

miscellaneous information.

faceclaim: vivoree esclito

vocal claim: zhou jieqiong (kyulkyung)

rap claim: n/a

dance claim: vivoree esclito

audition song: “hey” - iu (cover) (link in source)

fun facts.

bubbles is an avid cosplayer. on her instagram, she posts cosplay, as well as fashion and art. 

her favorite book series since she was 14 is “the illuminae files” by amie kaufman and jay kristoff. she’s writing a mixed-media novel following the footsteps of “the illuminae files,” and she admits it’s hard not to draw inspiration from the idol lifestyle. she says that there are lots of interesting people she meets, and horrible people, that would make great characters in a sci-fi novel.

bubbles can speak fluent korean with a minimal accent, because she’s been here for 7 years.

her favorite food from her home region, visayas in the philippines, is chicken inasal. her favorite korean food is samgyeopsal (grilled pork belly bits). she used to restrain her intake of samgyeopsal, but now lets herself get lost in the fun of a samgyeopsal restaurant and order until she’s full. her one complaint is that it drills a real hole in her pocket to keep on eating samgyeopsal all the time. she has to be smart about cash, though her grandmother likes to say that no money spent on food is wasted money. 

she chose the stage name bubbles instead of the suggested ones, “summer” and “sunshine.” she says she didn’t want her cultural and ethnic heritage to be exoticized; there’s more to her than being from a tropical southeast asian country. “bubbles” alludes to a handful of things. one, her singing has been described as sweet as bubblegum as well as clear and bright, much like bubbles. two, she’s a bubbly person (and would very much not like to be sexualized at her age).

biography + audition under the cut.

trigger warnings: descriptions of ableism, mental illness, eating disorders, colorism, and racism.

biography.

jomary was born in tagbilaran, philippines, on the island of bohol. growing up, there was never any shortage of tall tales and myths; the visayans have a heritage of rich folk stories, after all. but jomary was more than just another listener: she could actually hear those creatures, and more. well, she believed so. “talawan,” they’d tease her. (coward.) if she was lucky, the word was affectionate. but sometimes, it was cruel, hurled at her with other sorts of barbs, if not downright physical harassment.

she was an odd duck. although her good grades and status as one of her class’s top swimmers kept her from being at the lowest of the popularity food chain, there was no denying that her peers found her weird and pathetic. many would rub salt in the wound whenever she lost tournaments; they’d joke about how she probably heard a siyokoy (a kind of malevolent creature in their mythology that pulls innocent humans from the water and kills them) in the pools, and that’s why she didn’t win, things like that. she heard them, and they knew she did, but they didn’t quite care. the worst part was that, in a way, it was true. her anxiety did not leave her, even when she was in her element.

at 12 years old, jomary and her single mother alyzza left for south korea after alyzza married a korean man, siwoo. when they arrived, jomary didn’t want siwoo to think that she or her mother were gold-diggers, as people loved accusing filipinos. sure, their life back in the philippines was less comfortable, but it didn’t mean that alyzza married for money. fortunately, siwoo was a good man who didn’t bear prejudices against southeast asians.

not everybody was the same. par for the course, bubbles was subject to a lot of colorism and racism in this new country. one of her saving graces was that she naturally had a petite build. her new friends in korea praised her for her incredibly small body. although they had good intentions, this actually exacerbated her self-loathing, especially when siwoo and alyzza encouraged her to audition for a kpop agency.

at 16, she was accepted. she was thin, but not thin enough. her trainers at the agency repeated her friends’ words and made them monstrous: you’re so thin! but you could be thinner. you should be thinner. jomary let herself be put on a harsh diet and the girl developed anorexia.

this was simple compromise, the girl reasoned. she refused to start bleaching her brown skin, as her company requested, so it was fair that she stopped eating so she’d become as thin as she could be. right? right? although her mother and stepdad loved her, they did not understand the gravity of the situation, especially because jomary was skilled at pretending that it wasn’t that severe.

and then, right before she was set to debut in a girl group in 2019, she lost on king of the masked singer. she didn’t even make it past the first round — how come, when her voice was sweet as bubblegum yet able to be solid and stable? well, the general public thought otherwise. she was shaking and her voice wobbled all throughout her performance. rumors hounded her and her company, accusing jomary of being high on drugs.

the people around her knew she wasn’t, however. particularly after she nearly fainted backstage. they took her to the hospital and then discovered that she had an eating disorder. after clearing up the scandal, her company kicked her out nonetheless. her trainee period halted. she was both relieved and miserable.

audition.

in an interview, bubbles shared that she felt as if she hadn’t been trained for three years. “this feels like a brand-new beginning for me,” she said. “i was awfully nervous until i realized that i feel revitalized by the fresh start that ring of fire has given me.”

she jaunted on to the stage and, true to her word, provided a performance that our panel found “refreshing.” one judge praised her lovely, crystal-clear voice.

“i’m sure that audiences around the globe will appreciate her cute charms,” remarked another.

“but we know she can do more. she was holding back, that’s evident. it will certainly pose a problem if she never learns how to conquer her nerves.”

[propertyoftoru]

Tongue Tied (Loki x reader)

A/N: My first request! *heart eyes* Fun Fact: I’m actually super fucking kinky and i couldn’t pass up the chance to write some *light* bondage. Also i was just reading Bucky smut so writing this gave me writers whiplash (i’m making this a thing if its not one already).  After writing this I’m gonna be working on part 3 to the dream series! so make sure you let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist! Requested by @alorev Hey babe!!!!! I loved your new fix so damn much that I had to send in a request to be able to sleep at night. I was thinking of how a talk with Loki about him tying you up for the first time would go 🤔 and what would happen afterward 👀 completely up to you what you’d like to do, I’m sure I’ll love it no matter what. I hope you have a great day 💕💖💓💞💗💘❤️ Warnings: Smut, smut, and more smut, oral (fem receiving), light bondage, i didn't proof read because its 2:15 in the morning and im gonna be dead at work tomorrow im sorry word count:2000 (it was 1998 but i literally went and added two random words to make it even) You had spent the entire morning with Pepper, Wanda, Hope and Nat. The day had innocently started out as girl bonding time, but after polishing off nearly two entire bottles of wine and Hope asking Wanda about her and Vision’s sex life it quickly escalated into a smutty conversation. Girlish giggles echoed around the Compound’s living room mixed with hushed whispers in an attempt to shield to topic of conversation from any possible eavesdropper.  “So what about you? What the kinkiest thing you and Loki have done?” You felt all eyes turn to you as Nat spoke. The warmth blooming on your cheeks quickly spread down your neck and crawled across your chest. Your eyes were probably bulging out of your head. You had been absolutely fine with the topic until it became about you, suddenly feeling very vanilla compared to some of the things the other women had spoke of. Not that you weren't aware of the filthy things that ran through your lovers mind, he was the almighty mischievous god after all. You knew he wanted to do more in the bedroom but you also knew that he wouldn’t, in fear of scaring you away and the thought of losing control and possibly hurting you terrified him. Once he wed you, and you had the ceremony in which you ingested the golden apple, rendering you asgardian and also immortal, he would stop treating you like a porcelain doll - at least you hoped he would. “w-well i call him ‘my king’ sometimes..” you replied innocently, chewing on your bottom lip.  They all just stared at you as if waiting for you to continue but after a moment Pepper cleared her throat before speaking.  “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this but you mean to tell me that the occasional use of nicknames is the kinkiest thing you and your fiance of 2 years have done?”  You pouted at that, she was right, you should’ve done more.. you wanted more, you just didn't know how to ask for it. You always felt awkward discussing such sensitive matters with him because he spoke with such grace and confidence and you stuttered and turned into a blushing mess.  “I don’t know how to tell him I want more”  Grins collectively broke out across the circle you had been sitting in as you mumbled those words. “you don’t tell him” started Wanda looking over a Nat with a plan forming in her brain.  “you show him” Natasha finished an evil smirk plastered across her face.  _ After about 20 minutes of persuasion, 30 minutes of you complaining, 25 of Wanda and Nat digging through Peppers humongous wardrobe, and 15 of obtaining the materials needed for their scheme you were now sitting on the bathroom sink. Wanda was standing between your legs with a makeup brush dusting over your eyelids. Peppers fingers fussing around with your hair, trying to make it ‘voluminous’ and ‘sexy’ in her words. Hope had been standing by the door keeping watch, while Nat prepared everything. After a few more strokes of her brush, Wanda took a step back to admire her work. 

“damn I’m good” she said with a giggle. Pepper hummed in agreement as she also finished her work with your hair.  “Alright now get dressed” Wanda said with a wink, before her and pepped slipped out of the bathroom. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror and your jaw dropped, you looked like you belonged on the cover of Maxim or something. Wanda had given you a smoldering black smokey eye and a nude lip, your hair was curled and very ‘voluminous’ indeed. You looked over at the outfit, if you could even call it that, resting on the sink. It was nothing like you had ever worn before. The silky emerald corset had a delicate sweetheart neckline, intricate black lace patterns splayed purposefully across the fabric, thick black ribbons lacing up the back, a simple pair of plain black lace panties, and matching black stockings attached to the garter straps. Surely Loki would melt at the sight of you dressed so naughtily while in his colors - that was the plan after all. After struggling for a few minutes you finally managed to finish dressing yourself, admiring how you looked in the gorgeous silky deep green fabric. You stepped out to see Nat finishing up and the rest of the girls sitting on the sofa at the end of your bed. The all started whistling and clapping when you fully revealed yourself, a soft blush creeping onto your cheeks as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, a shy grin upon your lips.  “I think our work here is just about done girls.” Pepper said while beaming proudly at their work.  “Just gotta get your god in here” Hope chuckled. “FRIDAY can you please have Loki make his way to our room, tell him I need to have words with him” You said before exhaling a shaky breath.  “Right away Miss” the AI responded. The girls wished you good luck sending winks and smirks at you before making their way out of the room. You looked around trying to figure out how to position yourself but decided to take a leap. You slowly crouched down to the floor, kneeling and placing your hands on your thighs facing upwards. You bowed your head as you heard his quickened footsteps approach your shared room. The door flew open and you saw his feet as they stepped into the room. “Is everything alright darli-” He cut himself off with a soft gasp at the sight before him. You looked absolutely divine. You didn’t speak, you didn’t even look up at him, hoping he would catch on. He did indeed catch on. He quickly shut the door behind him moving closer to your submissive figure. “Look at me pet”  You slowly raised your eyes, fluttering your lashes and hoping to look as innocent as possible. Your innocence had always been somewhat of a drug to him, he found it to be simply intoxicating. You were strong, brave, sharp-tongued, and quick witted but when not on the battlefield he often compared you to a kitten. “Not that I’m complaining in the slightest but are you up to you little minx?” His eyes were clouded with lust but the subtle hint of curiosity in them did not go unnoticed by you. “I want all of you my king. I want you to stop holding back” You meant for it to sound confident and sexy but instead it came out as almost a whimper. You were already soaking wet at the thought of the events that were about to take place. His eyes left you for a moment before scanning the room, noticing Natasha’s handiwork. A stifled groan erupted in his throat as he looked over the ropes that were expertly tied to your headboard, loops for your wrists and ankles set up so all he would have to do is tighten them. “You wish for me to tie you up? You want to surrender yourself to me completely?” he asked almost sounding surprised.  “I wish for you to do whatever you please with me, my king” this time you succeeded in sounding lustful.  He hesitated no longer, stepping forward he placed his finger under your chin tilting it up so you were forced to look at him. “shut your eyes pet” You felt your eyelashes brush against the tops of your cheeks as you obediently did as you were told. You were hyper-aware of his magic surrounding you, feeling it crawl over your exposed skin leaving a dull tingling feeling in its wake. You felt your soft bed sheets underneath you, meaning he had used his magic to move you. He pressed a hand lightly to your shoulder, guiding you backwards so you were lying down. He gently grasped your wrist slipping it into the loop and tugging until it was secure, doing the same with your other wrist, and your two ankles.  “how does that feel my love? too tight? not tight enough?” You could hear the genuine caution laced within his tone.   “m’feels good” you mewled, loving the feeling of being so constricted and exposed yet so safe and comfortable. He chuckled darkly at that, watching as you squirmed and tugged on the ropes as if to assess their strength, eyes still obediently shut. Deciding that he just couldn’t wait any longer, he stepped forward before kneeling on the bed between your spread legs. He crawled his way up your body stopping once his mouth reached the tops of your thighs, just above your stockings, his warm breath spreading over your skin. He lowered his mouth allowing his lips to brush against you before attaching them and sucking at the sensitive skin on the inside of your thigh. The sounds that you made from that action alone had his cock throbbing in his pants, painfully straining against the fabric of is briefs. He placed sloppy kisses all the way up until he reached your clothed heat. He lightly brushed his fingers over the lacy fabric before it disappeared in a green flash. He licked his lips hungrily before he placed a kiss to your swollen bud, tongue darting out almost immediately after. Your moans were echoing around your shared room, as he swirled and flicked his tongue skillfully. You tugged at the restraints wanting so desperately to clench your thighs and grab fistfuls of his silky black hair. He noticed your breathing quicken, your moans turning into high pitched whines of pleasure, you were nearing your end - so he stopped. Pulling away with a smack of his lips he began to discard his own garments. You having your orgasm so rudely ripped away from you had you mewling, whimpering and shaking because god you just needed that release. You knew better than to question him, he was never one to deny you pleasure, he just loved the way your brows would crease, your mouth forming an ‘o’ shape, eyes rolled back into your head, your entire body trembling in ecstasy. You knew you would get to have a glorious orgasm that only he could supply you, and when you felt his presence hovering over you, you knew it wouldn't be long until you did. “open your eyes darling, i want you to look at me” his voice was strained but still dominant, which of course left you responding to his command instantaneously. You slowly blinked your eyes open meeting his deep emerald green ones. You gave him a soft smile, which quickly turned into your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he sheathed himself fully inside of you. He wasted no time in finding a devastating rhythm, pounding into you with precision behind every thrust. His fingers sliding down past your clit to gather your wetness before rubbing your bud with the perfect amount of pressure, not too much and not too little. You were right back to the brink of your orgasm and this time he only sped up his movements to help toss you over that edge. You squeezed your eyes tightly shut, screaming his name like is was a prayer on your sinful lips. His thrusts didn't falter, he maintained his relentless pace as he chased his own high. You murmured sweet praises into his ear as he slammed himself into you one final time, his hot seed coating your walls. He steadied himself for a moment, sucking air into his lungs before flicking his wrist haphazardly, enchanting the ropes around your limbs to release you from their hold and the corset you were sporting had also disappeared. He fell to your side, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms around your damp body. He placed a sleepy kiss to your forehead whispering how much he adored you and how he couldn't wait to make you his for eternity.  A/N: I know I changed it just a tiny bit but i hope you still enjoyed it! I literally went out and bought a new laptop so i could type my smut faster.... i’ve really gotta stop impulse buying things. Anyways please let me know what you think as your feedback is always greatly appreciated!  TAGLIST: @spookyanairwin @aar-journey @kweenmarvel @iamverity @cora-notoverloki @stfxlou @nerdy-jelly-art @rosesistine @marvelfansworld @spidey-mads

[luciferpens]

( CAMILA MENDES , FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen RAYE TORRES around icaria? they are the 30 year old child of HADES. they remind me of THE THEATER MOMENTS BEFORE THE CURTAIN OPENS, COLD NIGHTS WITH A DRINK ON THE ROOF, and A SILKY SMOOTH VOICE. They’ve been on the island for 7 years.

BASICS

FULL NAME: Raye Torres

NICKNAMES: Ra, Tor

FACE CLAIM: Camila Mendes

AGE: Thirty

SEXUALITY: pansexual & panromantic

DATE OF BIRTH: July 21

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis female she/her

EDUCATION: Masters in communications. 

OCCUPATION: Voice actress. Theater director of Deadpan Theater.

GODLY PARENT: Hades

GODLY POWERS: Pyrokinesis is & phobokinesis are her strong suits. She can create any sort of flame she wishes, along with control or elicit fear in those around her.  She can’t fully see ghosts (its more like a shadow) but she knows when they are around her and is working on her ability to truly speak to them. 

BIO + BULLET POINTS

Martina Torres was a drug addict and a horrible mother. She abandoned her infant child to the system and avoided any contact Raye has ever tried to make with her

She was adopted by Richard and Gale who feared their daughter. Richard started to abuse Raye as her powers started to show.

He threatened to kill her at a young age

Raye ran away from home and lived on the streets.

She got addicted to drugs

Delilah found out and her family took her in, got her clean and loved her.

She started to show an interest in acting and was scouted at 17.

Raye started to do voice acting and after 5 years she had become well known among actors. She was allowed to move wherever as long as she had a home studio.

Hades moved her to Icaria -- and set her up with Lyric. 

Lyric and Raye dated for 3 years.  But things fell apart and they both realized they were better as friends. 

Raye then met Wesley and they fell deeply in love, marriage was on the horizon until Raye met Ava who told her there was a chance of her love dying. Raye panicked and made up a lie to protect Wesley. 

She vanished to LA and only returned because Hades forced her.

TW: Miscarriage -- Raye was pregnant but had no idea until she was mugged one night and ended up in the hospital and found she miscarried. Its been a year and shes not told anyone.

Maria Torress was not what you’d call a good mother. In fact, she was a piece of shit woman who Raye denounces at literally any turn she gets. Maria was an alcoholic and a druggie from the age of 20 till -- well as far as Raye knows, now. Maria has tried over and over again to get clean but within a couple of days falls back into drug use. It was during one of these times that Maria was out at a Halloween costume party when she met Hades. The two hit it off and had a night of fun together. 

He was gone the next day. Maria ended up on drugs one again. Three months passed and it was clear that the little bit of weird sickness she was feeling wasn't from the drugs and instead from pregnancy. She didn’t care much though, but she did stop the harder drugs and instead just drank herself silly. When 9 months passed and Raye was born Maria returned to her druggie ways and left Raye to the system. She was an infant addicted to drugs and alcohol and she spent three months under the care of the hospital before she was deemed safe and given to the system. 

She was placed in a foster home, Richard and Gale, and things seemed well for the infant until she was about 4 years old. Like any other toddler she had fits and crying fests, but at 4... her fits started little fires. The family was shocked and terrified. Richard said she was a devil child, Gale agreed but said they needed to try and “save” her. At 5 Richard snapped when she set a towel on fire and he smacked her; Gale never knew. Any time she set something on fire and Gale wasn’t around she was smacked.  A year passed and at 6 she had started school, started to learn that being hit by your parents wasn’t normal, that what she could do wasn’t normal. She had another temper tantrum and this time her father threatened to kill her if she didn’t stop with the fires. This installed true fear in the child, a feeling she had never truly felt.  This fear triggered another power lingering in the child and when she wanted or needed to, she could toss her fear or create fear in others. This ability was wild and uncontrollable like her pyrokinesis. But this fear, these powers reacted whenever Richard was home, putting them into a deadly spiral. Her fear and fire jumped to them, their fear and anger made her fear stronger and on and on and on. 

When she was 13 Richard found out that she had gotten a bad grade on a test he smacked her so hard she fell into the table and busted it and part of her face. She set the table remnants on fire, along with the carpet in her anger and fear. Raye ran into her bedroom, grabbed her go-bag, a bag she had put together when she was 10 and just switched out items over the years, and ran. 

She lived on the streets for a year and a half, sleeping in parks, showering at the school gym every day, and finding random odd jobs to do around the city to afford any food she might need other than her school lunch. In the midst of all this, she made some bad friends, ended up on drugs, luckily for her they weren’t the worst of the worst. When trouble came for her she defended herself with her fire, and when she burned someone and gave them 3rd degree burns she panicked. That night Hades came to her in a dream, he told her he was her father and that her powers weren't a curse given by the devil but instead a gift given by him. She was good at keeping her appearance normal, at not letting anyone know of her situation. Well, that was until she met Delilah, Delilah saw through her lies and saw that she was suffering, she brought the girl home and there --Delilah’s grandparents took her in helped her get clean. 

Raye lived quite happily with Delilah and soon the two found out that they were related in another way -- they shared a father in Hades. The two became thick as thieves, and when Delilah’s grandparents realized the connection the girls shared -- they more or less adopted her on the spot. Raye adores the Sun family and they are the only people besides Hades himself she calls true family. 

The Sun family pushed Raye into acting when they realized her love for the art. She started acting in school plays during the year and in the summer was doing community theater. She was 17 when a scout arrived at their small local NYC theater, he recognized her talent and within six months he was her agent. She started doing voice acting and small bit roles in tv shows filmed around the city. Raye spent the next 5 and half years making a name for herself within the community and traveling the world for conventions. Her love for travel was well known among her employers and as she neared 23 she was told she could move wherever she wanted. So long as she had a fully built and to code sound recording booth. Figuring that was easy enough she decided to try a more -- tropical area and Hades suggested Icaria considering it was a demi-god safe zone. 

After a couple of months, Hades set her up with Lyric, another demi-god child in hopes the two would fall in love and maybe marry one day. There was a deeper plan in place and Ava knew that. She knew there was a reason her father wanted her and Lyric to be together, what that reason was? She had no idea. And for a couple of years, it actually worked out, the two were close, rather in love and happy. But slowly, things fizzled out and the two slipped into a comfortable friendship and realized -- they were truly better as best friends than lovers. They broke up but continued to be best friends, even when Lyric went into the peace corps and Raye moved on. He was one of the first to hear about Wesley, one of the first to know they got engaged -- and one of the first to know about their breakup too. 

And sure -- while they were happy....Hades and Aphrodite weren’t.  

Raye hadn't known what would come from meeting Ava, if she had even had a lick of an idea of what would spiral from it she would have avoided the other woman’s warning. But luck, that was not on her side. Tragedy and fear seemed to always surround her, just another great thing as a present from her father. The two women had bumped into one another at the end of one of her plays and dived into deep conversation. Slowly it turned to relationships and the future when Raye noticed Ava seemed highly nervous, the woman ended up explaining her powers, how she saw strings and how a frayed almost broken string of fate meant one side of the string was close to death. She warned her to be careful and conscious of what was happening around her.

Fear rushed through her -- she was the daughter of the god of death. Death surrounded her normally, from ghosts to fear and depression, that was normal for her. But to know that one side of a string, that either her or Wesley were close to death? Fear overload her brain and she panicked knowing that her father wouldn’t take her but -- Wesley? Wesley, he might take as punishment for disobeying him. She knew she had to get away from Wesley, it was the only way she knew to keep him safe. To keep her father from revenge. 

She rushed to her best friends told them what she had been told and multiple plans formulated. First, she needed to break up with Wesley. Second, she had to move off the island and far away to keep her father’s attention on her, not Wesley.  She would move to L.A. would continue her job -- it was easy enough to convince her employers that being in L.A. for a bit would be better than being in Greece for a while. Hell, she did have a premiere coming up -- no one would question it... 

But the part she knew would be hard would be that break up. There was no way to leave Icaria without Wesley chasing her; that was to be expected -- he was her fiance. There was nothing she could say to convince Wesley to let her leave without him coming with her.... at least.... nothing that would be harmless. So the plan went into motion, they had to pretend she cheated, that she slept with another person... It ripped her soul apart but it was for his safety.. so Leo agreed and the plan was in motion. She told Wesley she had to go to L.A. for a couple weeks for work -- nothing out of the ordinary... then at the airport she broke the “news” told him what she had “done” and they were over. She got on a plane, moved to L.A. 

TW: Miscarriage, Violence & Depression

 It was a short train ride from her house to get to the studio and every day she took the same path to and from the train at about the same time... Her routine grabbed the wrong person’s attention. While walking home one afternoon two men jumped her stealing her purse, jewelry but somehow missing her engagement ring that hung around her neck and under her shirt. She screamed and screamed until she passed out and they ran off. He screams had gotten the attention of a neighbor who found her beaten and bloody, passed out on the street. She rushed her to the hospital. She awoke in a hospital bed under heavy sedation, an IV in her arm, three ribs were broken, she had a concussion and she was covered in bruises. A nurse rushed in when her heartrate spiked and they realized she was awake.

The Nurse checked everything and then got the doctor and the two of them broke the news that she had lost her baby. Now, this was news to her -- she hadn’t even known she was pregnant and to find out she had been... only to learn instantly that she had also lost it... Raye was not in a good place mentally.  The nurse, Ally, sat with her for the next couple hours, despite being off the clock, as she worked through the first wave of emotions. They signed her up for a miscarriage support group and got her signed up for counseling. she stayed in the hospital for another four days before they released her into the care of a coworker who had become one of her closest friends while in L.A. And for the next couple of months, she went to see her therapist twice a week and she started taking anti-depressants to quell the dark thoughts that were lingering in her mind. 

End TW

Despite all of this, L.A. was still a great place to be, at least for her career. It took off in a whole other path. She worked on more and larger name shows, throwing her voice into tons of cartoons and online shows, she appeared on tv itself in multiple shows when she had the time and was generally... making a small name for herself within the voice acting community. Raye had pretty much decided that she would stay single forever now, not ready or willing to move on from Wesley. She wore the ring around her neck on a necklace and never took it off. Sure she got questions from fans and the occasional interview but she never spoke on it, never mentioned him, not wanting the fans and reporters to try to hunt him down. 

She was content with what her life had become, settled in it, and ready to deal with what became of it when Hades appeared to her one night and forced her to move back to Icaria. So she did. She uprooted herself, her studio and her work and moved back to Icaria only a little over a year after she left in the first place. 

HEADCANONS/WANTED CONNECTIONS

Anyone from his childhood. Especially anyone would might have thought something was weird about him

An ex-boyfriend or girlfriend who knows of what his family does.

Someone he’s helped over the years!

Friends of the family who know what he does.

[dracwife]

dex’s comprehensive s/i list

this took way too long. will be updated as i develop them further! note that these only include a few of my main, more developed s/is, but i do have s/is for all my f/o’s universes!

[ evil dead ]

name: river kennedy

[ movie canon ]

age: 22

occupation: pizza delivery boy

physical: river kennedy was always on the taller side, his physicality being his foremost quality. he was the star quarterback in high school, and his muscular prowess didnt leave him after he graduated. finding no need for college, his routine consisted of working out during the day and going to work at night. his lean stature doesn't precede him - he can hold his own in the midst of chaos...and deadites.

6'0"

green eyes

dirty blonde hair

a southern drawl accents this cowboy's witty and devil-may-care temperament

while he's the more sensible of the two, it's only by a tad...ash and river are the quintessential "team one brain cell"

about: ash and river met on a wild night out during their high school years. needless to say, it wasn’t long before they ended up together, inseparable and making as many bad decisions as possible. 

sarcastic

upbeat

enthusiastic

here for a good time, not a long time

ship name: sympathy for the devil

[ show canon ]

age: 36

occupation: sheriff

physical: living in a small town has its perks - mainly that there’s not much to do during the day. the most action river sees on a daily basis is maybe a kid or two caught vandalizing the old bleachers behind the high school...and even then, it’s a stretch to say it’s much more than chasing down a teen with spraypaint. while he’s still physically fit, he’s not quite at his peak like he once was, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still hold his own against whatever the necronomicon may throw at him.

6'0"

green eyes

dirty blonde hair

a southern drawl accents this cowboy's witty and devil-may-care temperament

while he's the more sensible of the two, it's only by a tad...ash and river are the quintessential "team one brain cell"

about: while they never quite settled down, river took some time on his own to live with his family. he and ash lost contact for nearly twenty years, until the deadites returned out of nowhere. upon hearing the news, river tracked ash down, and again their shenanigans resumed, for the better or worse, no one really knows. 

sarcastic

upbeat

enthusiastic

here for a good time, not a long time

ship name: born to be wild

[ saw ]

name: everett bailey ; salem

age: 23

occupation: freelance coder / web designer

physical: salem is not physically intimidating, but that doesn’t stop him from picking fights with those bigger than him

5′6″

bleached hair, often dyed

blue eyes

lots of leather

about: salem is, to say the least, a scammer who profits off of the ignorance of those less technologically capable than himself. for this reason (and for getting in the way of adam’s game) he too was punished, thrown into a trap that left him scarred both physically and mentally.

cocky

angry. just angry

daddy issues

drugs! probably

literally just a little shit.

ship name: waiting game / the jig is up / coma white / absolute penance (au)

[ twilight ]

name: holden cullen

age: 24 (at time of death)

occupation: clinical attendant / physician

physical: holden is physically smaller than most of his peers, but don’t let that fool you - he can definitely hunt just as well as the rest of them.

5′7″ (short king mama hey)

dark brown hair / soft black

green eyes (golden after death)

freckles

about: holden met carlisle at work, where he worked as a clinical attendant. within a few months carlisle had introduced holden to the rest of the cullens, and not long after holden deduced their family secret, though carlisle refused to turn holden on the basis that holden could live happily as a human. after a particularly nasty car crash, however, carlisle was forced to turn holden lest he let him die, and thus holden was finally a true member of the family. in his spare time during his “recovery,” he was able to complete his doctorate, and now works alongside carlisle at the clinic.

upbeat

fun-loving

dedicated

kind-hearted

absolute dad

holden’s gift is similar to that of jasper’s - with a strange type of pathokinesis, he is able to dull the pain (physical and emotional) of others, instead taking it himself. 

he uses it to help carlisle destress most of the time - when he was human, carlisle would always say just how comforting it was to be with holden, that he had a sort of warmth to him, and that warmth followed him even after his death. carlisle describes the calming nature of it as though holden has “sunlight in his hands,” as a mere touch from him can bring complete serenity. 

ship name: sunlight in his hands 

[ house, m.d. ]

name: rowan kirk

age: 30

occupation: pediatrician

physical: rowan is likely the least intimidating person you’d ever meet - he’s very quiet, and very bubbly. his stature is rather lax, and his soft temperament is complimented by his just as inviting looks, making him the perfect doctor for even the rowdiest of children.

5′8″

strawberry blonde hair

green eyes

freckles

always smiling

never seen without a stuffed animal and at least 10 lollipops in his lab coat

about: rowan is a kind-hearted doctor, driven by an inexplicable need to help others. it was for this reason that he quickly caught the eye of james, and together they make quite the hopeless pair of romantics.

has good intentions

soft-spoken

hates star trek jokes

absolute hopeless romantic

Repressed Trauma tm

always cold gay

ship name: sunshine & star trek jokes

[ quantum leap ]

name: dexter marsh

age: 26

occupation: chemist/biologist

physical: while short, dex’s wit makes up for more than enough of what he lacks in height. he’s far more on the nerdy side, bookish in all senses of the word.

curly hair

freckles

brown eyes

short

wardrobe consists of sweaters exclusively

about: dex works as a chemist on the starbright project alongside sam and, after one too many late nights spent on research they realized the feelings they harbored for each other were those of more than just friends.

quiet, but brilliant

strange fascination for chemistry and biology

hired on originally as a data analyist for the starbright project

married to sam after his leap home

has two dogs, a german shepherd and a husky named melody and marley respectively

ship name: terminally good

[ gotham ]

name: dexter “cheshire” chester

age: 23

occupation: gang leader

physical: his grin as wicked as the cheshire cat himself, dexter dons stripes and a leather jacket to complete his look

catlike reflexes

nearly always high

blue eyes

bleached hair, a few purple streaks to accent it

never seen without his trusted smashin bat

about: having found his family through his gang, he runs the strays of gotham alongside his adopted sister queen, and finds his niche in illegal dealings

cares far too much for his “family”

gained the nickname cheshire from a combination of his gang’s name and the fact he always seems to disappear from the scene of the crime

peddles an experimental drug called “jabberwock” which is similar to speed as well as weapons and other illegal substances

ship name: down the rabbit hole

[ phantom of the opera ]

name: adonis

age: 20

occupation: performer ; actor / singer

physical: adonis knew from a young age that he hated his body. it simply felt wrong, and though he had a talent for the musical arts, he passed at the opportunity to perform in lieu of working as a stagehand, passing as male and taking the name adonis.

trans (ftm)

binds with a corset even though it isn’t healthy

dirty blonde hair

blue eyes

doesn’t own a single shirt that fits him properly

about: he caught the eye of erik when, on a whim, he sang aloud to himself on stage as he was readying the props for a show. erik was smitten from that day, intrigued by the young man and his strangely beautiful voice. since then, erik has helped adonis train his voice, and he now performs on stage and is very popular among the patrons of the theater. 

ship name: gods & monsters

[ ahs ]

name: clarence miller

age: 20

occupation: performer

physical: born an albino, clarence miller was inducted into elsa mars’ freakshow at a young age, and now looks up to her like a mother. 

pale, pale, pale

short

nearly blind due to albinism

does not own any clothes that fit, actually

about: clarence is quiet and keeps to himself most of the time. while he doesn’t have any standout talents, he acts as a tickettaker for the freakshow

has a little pet lizard

falls asleep in the booth a lot

cannot go out in the sun for long

dandy can and WILL kill for him

ship name: dance macabre

[ ghostbusters ]

name: oasis*

age: unknown* (deceased)

occupation: physicist / parapsychologist

physical: while he does seem human in all aspects, oasis is far from it.

extremely pale

white hair

green eyes

lanky

can and will appear behind u...nothin personnel, kid.....

just can’t stop floatin’ sometimes

about: *while oasis is not his real name, it was the name of the theory accredited to him, in which he believed there to be two planes of existence, one of the living and one of the dead that are consistently manipulated by each other, the phenomenon that results are noticeable but often disappear when investigated further, “Like a mirage, and oasis in the desert.”

ship name: oasis theorem

[phoebtcnkin]

ABOUT ME.

NAME/ALIAS: Kayla / Satan 

TIMEZONE: PST (for now, but don’t ask me where we’re moving next LOL)

RANDOM FACT: I was adopted when I was three, am 11wks pregnant with our newest and long awaited wee one, and shamefully have over 10,000 likes on this blog with zero chance of ever fully clearing them out lmfao

CHARACTER ONE.

NAME: Lauren “Ren” Victoria Livingston (29)

FACECLAIM: Phoebe Tonkin, my queen.

in COCONUT GROVE you’ll find LAUREN LIVINGSTON who’s lived there for FOUR YEARS and they spend their days working as THE MANAGER OF NATALIA ESCABIAS LUXURY SPA AND A FREELANCE WRITER. They’ve been described as ROUGE STAINED MARLBOROS STUBBED OUT IN ANTIQUE CAVIAR BOWLS, POSTCARDS SENT FROM PLACES SHE’S NEVER BEEN, CHAMPAGNE IN SOLO CUPS, AND UNMET DEADLINES by the people that know them. Which makes sense when you consider that they can be ENGAGING + ADVENTUROUS but also IRRESPONSIBLE + IN DENIAL  

BACKGROUND.

grew up with a single mom who could never weave the same story twice about the origins and subsequent disappearance of her father.

lived on the cusp of wealth but didn’t actually have it… her mother, jane, was presumably from old money, but either the family lost it ages ago or she’d been cut off for reasons unknown.

they were ‘adopted’ by an older wealthy couple without children of their own when ren’s mother was pregnant with her aka given permission to live out of the guesthouse on their property for basically free

went all over when she was younger to “soul search” and sort out her life. basically just bummed around with a bunch of other barely legal adults who ate gas station food and drank expensive champagne and just a whole bunch of other nonsense

is approaching that age / stage of life where she’s meant to have her shit together but really doesn’t.

is still spending her money and maxing out credit cards on stupid things she can’t afford and doesn’t need. skips rent to go to fancy clubs. probably abuses something bc she can and she’s #lostandbroke inside

claims she’s an aspiring writer, and she’s trying she really is (sometimes), but doesn’t have anything to show for it if ppl asked

basically put together and #fine on the outside but a disaster on the inside

HEADCANONS.

HOMETOWN: Newport, Rhode Island

BIRTHDAY: tbd

NICKNAMES: almost exclusively goes by ‘Ren’, but a small few may call her L.V.

ORIENTATION: bisexual

MUSE SONGS: Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous, rock bottom by Caro, tba

CHARACTER TAG: can be found here.

PINTEREST BOARD: can be found here.

on any given day the only things you’re likely to find inside of ren’s fridge are a bottle of something alcoholic, a gel eye mask, and one of many credit cards frozen in the freezer.

in a similar vein, her oven is absolutely full of half clothes, half books.

is literally always on the verge of eviction bc, as mentioned above, she prioritizes p. much anything over responsibilities.

will 1000% justify buying five pairs of shoes she can’t afford bc she got them at a sample sale for the price of one at full retail

once upon a time she excused bad habits and terrible choices under the premise that they were hands on experience for the sake of her writing... except all these years later she’s still on her bullshit and hasn’t written anything of quality in ???

can’t be trusted to keep a pet rock alive let alone anything else

has never, not once, been able to say no to anything made of silk or velvet

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

this is already crazy long so i’m going to be making a sep. post for these and will add the link as soon as it’s finished, but you can expect to see things like: neighbors, coworkers, friends she’s met since moving to miami, the people she hung around during her years of travel and shenanigans, messy exes, drug dealer, former (kinda) sugar daddy lmfao, secret family, etc.

CHARACTER TWO.

NAME: 👑 Alicia Josefine Palmeiro (30)

FACECLAIM: Ana de Armas

in CORAL GABLES, you’ll find ALICIA PALMEIRO who’s lived there for ONE WEEK and they spend their days working as A (CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED) LAWYER. They’ve been described as SHARP GLANCES, RUNNING IN HEELS, AND THE SCENT OF ACRYLIC PAINT FAINTLY LINGERING BENEATH ARMANI PERFUME by the people that know them. Which makes sense when you consider that they can be ELOQUENT + AMBITIOUS but also MATERIALISTIC + INDIFFERENT.

BACKGROUND.

comes from one of those richer than god families that have a library named after them somewhere and flaunt it. grandfather was the former governor of NC and her father is the current state attorney there

basically grew up with anything she wanted under the sun aside from attention and love. she was more of a business/brand investment than a beloved child in their eyes. rafael and gabriella (true monsters, lemme tell u) had her entire life mapped out and signed in blood before she was even conceived.

thought it would be really fun once to get a boyfriend in HS and hasn’t been able to get rid of him since. pls don’t call the cops if she threatens to light jaxon on fire bc she’s not serious. except for the one time she prob almost did.

speaking of things she almost did... she almost ran away with him after hs graduation in the pursuit of true love and following her dreams

daddy blackmailed jax into leaving her without a word, though. he listened (with good reason). instead of being happy and painting to pay rent, ali sucked up her tears before her mascara could run and went off to duke.... u guessed it.... exactly as her parents planned.

years later ran into jax again and they had an affair while she was engaged to another man. it ultimately led to their birth of their now 1.5 year old son

wyatt is probably the only thing she cares about more in this world than birkin bags and lingerie and shoes. on wednesdays she’ll let jaxon grace the list, but only if he leaves his muddy boots and potato chips at the door.

they’ve just moved to miami in a panic bc she found evidence against her father that proved they weren’t safe around him anymore (can share deets, but it’s chalk full of triggers so i won’t add it here)

HEADCANONS.

HOMETOWN: Wilmington, North Carolina

BIRTHDAY: August 16th, 1989

NICKNAMES: Ali, Princess, Queen Alicia P.

ORIENTATION: attention and diamonds (no but really she heterosexual)

PERMANENT PAIN IN THE ASS: Jaxon Martins

CHILDREN: Wyatt Martins, 1.5 years

MUSE SONGS: Me Too by Meghan Trainor, tba

CHARACTER TAG: can be found here.

PINTEREST BOARD: can be found here.

currently living in the penthouse suite at the biltmore hotel while they house shop for a mini mansion up to ali’s standards

is the stomping parrot when jax refuses to give her the attention she wants. or when she’s giving him the silent treatment but wants him to know she’s still mad.

thinks $20 t-shirts are just the result of misprinted tickets.

might cry if you try to take her inside of a dollar store or walmart.

couldn’t cook a meal to save her life and will absolutely get something catered and then take the credit when you tell her how delish it is.

has extreme trouble expressing her verbal emotions, so her displays of affection typically manifest in the form of gifts. ali will secretly obsess for weeks over finding the perfect present to fit the recipient 

not saying she’d throw u in front of a bus but…. if she doesn’t like u she prob wouldn’t hold out a hand to save you either.

is actually a warmhearted arsenic laced cupcake with a painter’s soul beneath her icy shield and devil blood. she does care. stg. mommy and daddy just never taught her how to show it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

just like before, i’m going to be making a sep. post for these and add the link as soon as it’s finished, but you can expect to see things like: neighbors, family local to the area (depending on from which side, would also need to be discussed with @fcntastical​), new friends, artsy friends she can be herself around, mom friends (gimme a real housewives of miami club pls), people connected to her father and all his maniacal ways, fr/enemies, etc.

[rafaelina-casillas]

You wanna find out some personal shit?

A HUGE THANK YOU to my dearest friend @december-girl06 for wanting me to answer all of these questions and spam tumblr with my boring persona and for making me feel relaxed after a hard day at uni (that’s why I’m answering so late, I’m so sorry!) I’m mixing this with my answers to @pitoftrash - I hope you both don’t mind!

1. Any scars? - I have several, most of them on my back and coming from a bad case of chicken pox when I was a kid. 2. Self harmed? - Never.

3. Crush? - Well, I had a crush on a postdoc visiting lecturer last month… and may still have it, sometimes I could feel it lurking in the deepest darkest corners of my black heart. But! He lives in another country and I really need to focus on my dissertation so I don’t have time for… feelings lol (And I don’t know how to flirt or make my feelings obvious, but shhh) 4. Kissed anyone? - Okay, I might sound as the lamest person on Earth (which I totally am), but I’ve never kissed anyone… And nobody ever got interested in me to try and kiss me (the sad truth) 5. Coke or Pepsi? - Team Coke all the way! Although I also drink Pepsi sometimes. 6. Someone you hate? - Hate is such a strong word… I’d say not like. Maybe some guys from my secondary school. The Kardashians. Trump. 7. Best Friends? - - I have some really close people in real life who mean the world to me ( @december-girl06 - you know you’re one of them, don’t you?!) On tumblr I’ve got close to @pitoftrash @crazyfreckledginger and @fleurderussie - even if we’ve talked several times I already consider you as friends (I hope I’m not too impudent) 8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? - I’ve never done drugs. Had drunk several gulps of white wine. But I love Sommersby’s cider, it does have some small amount of alcohol in it, right? 9. What’s your dream job? - University professor in the same scientific sphere that I’m doing my PhD now (Media Discourse and Journalistic Genres). An editor in a major media sounds also awesome, why not both? Except that both jobs are overwhelming and highly demanding and occasionally, I’d need sleep 😂😂 I also have a dream of being a screenplay writer but that’s a secret.

10. Ever been in love? - I had crushes but only that. Still waiting for that true love which is described in books and movies… Although I don’t believe much in it. Does falling in love with researching and lecturing count? Because that’s my love right now and I hope it’ll last for a life time

11. Last time you cried? - Don’t remember exactly. 12. Favorite color? - Black. 13. Height? - 158 cm or 5’2 – go ahead, tell all your jokes about short people, I don’t mind. 14. Birthday? - 29th August – soon! 15. Eye color? - Black. 16. Hair color? - Dark brown, though I have some light natural highlights. 17. What do you love? - Reading, doing research on everything that comes to my mind, learning new things, watching movies, tennis, football (ok, soccer, call it whatever you like), the Olympics, pigeons, taking long walks, rock and metal music, Queen, Bo Rhap guys, Hawaii 5-0… 18. Obsession? - Other than finishing my dissertation?! Queen, BoRhap, Hawaii 5-0, MacGyver… 19. If you had one wish, what would it be? - That the people I love will always be happy and healthy. 20. Do you love someone? - My mom and my friends. 21. Kiss or hug? - Hug… I mean, I’ve never been kissed so how would I know lol 22. Nicknames people call you? - Tsvety, Hermione, Shadow, Viking, Bluemchen… 23. Favorite song? - They’re so many… I’d say I Want To Break Free by Queen. 24. Favorite band? - Queen, Rammstein, Metallica. 25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? - Being bullied at school, especially when those boys have told me that I was the ugliest person ever and I’d never be loved. 26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? - Gaining the trust of my advisor and her letting me lecture and be responsible for over 80 students. 27. Something you would change about yourself? - My looks and erasing my self hate problems. 28. Ever dated someone? - Only in my head.

29. Worst mistake? - Trusting a girl at high school and believing she was my best friend when she’s one of the most toxic people in the world.

30. Watch the movie or read the book? - Definetly read the book first. Then eventually watch the movie (depends on the book and the movie). 31. Ever had a heartbreak? - Not the classic type. It was only hopes being crushed. 32. Favorite show? - BBC Sherlock. NBC Hannibal, Hawaii 5-0, MacGyver, The Originals 33. Best day of your life? - I’d like to believe that it’s in the future. 34. Any talents? - Does analyzing texts count? I’d like to think I’m able to find details and connections that some people don’t. 35. Do you wish you could ever start over? - Yes. 36. Any bad habits? - Never letting my frustrations out which often leads to stomach aches. 37. Ever had a near death experience? - Not that I remember, no. 38. Someone I can tell anything to? - I’m pretty close to my Mom, she’s the absolute best and we can talk about everything. My friends too.

39. Ever lost a loved one? - Thankfully, no.

40. Do you believe in love? - No, I’m afraid. 41. Someone you hate/Dislike? - Dislike: several boys from elementary school, a girl from my master’s degree… The Kardashians and their clones… 42. Are you okay? - I’m doing great actually. Well, there are some little crisis while writing my dissertation. I just sometimes panic that I don’t write fast enough, that I’m missing something, that everything I wrote is rubbish. But these are normal doubts… I guess. Otherwise, I feel very well. 43. Relationship status? - Forever single.

44. Selfie? - Fun fact: I’ve never made a selfie in my life! I just don’t like my looks at all. So instead have a GIF of my (imaginary) soulmate Steve McGarrett

Thank you again! 💕😘💋❤💖

[donnerpartyofone]

21 Questions

Tagged by @getoutofmyhouse who had oddly similar answers to mine

Nickname: only the one I use here, that I gave myself--Claire Donner, which has to do with my famous love of cannibalism. Claire is my real first name, though.

Zodiac: I am so very cuspy. I was born at about a quarter to midnight on April 20, so I tend to relate to, and feel insulted by, the suppositions about Aries and Taurus equally. I’m one of those jerks who will tell you astrology is a bunch of hoo ha...and then drone on with my Many Esoteric Ideas about it, so I’ll just stop myself right here.

Height: 5’ nuthin is what I prefer to say...because saying I’m 5 and 3/4′ sounds a little like saying I’m 10 and a half years old.

Amount of sleep: It’s all fucked up. Until I got into my 30s I could, and would prefer to, sleep endlessly. Now I go to bed around 10 (depression), get up around 5 or 6 (being old), and for extra fun, I’ve developed this insomnia that often keeps me up from about 2am-5am. I try make the most of it by getting up, getting high, watching a movie or two, writing...basically just having a secret private day by myself. I’d really rather go back to just sleeping constantly though.

Last movie I saw: I saw GRETA in theaters tonight, which was ok. I guess I thought any Neil Jordan film would be headier than this, but watching Isabel Huppert just running around acting like an absolute maniac is a rare treat! My last video experience was RAW, which I put on to bother my husband right when we got home from the theater. (I think he liked it more than I originally did, to my surprise)

Last thing I googled: The correct spelling of Sylvia Likens’ last name. I’m obsessed with this type of crime where a group of people (usually a family and/or some of their friends and neighbors) fall into some kind of shared hysteria where they protractedly torture to death an acquaintance for no particular reason. Some times there’s an element of mystery as to why the victim didn’t leave while they were still able to, which suggests to me that the murdered person was just as much a victim of the groupthink as the perpetrators. Other example victims include Suzanne Capper, Vera Jo Reigle, and I think to some degree Sophie Lionnet, James Bulger, and Junko Furuta. (Also a crime they briefly discuss in the book Lords of Chaos, where several people murder a friend in their trailer, but I can’t remember it specifically enough to look up the names--the other last thing i tried to google) I keep thinking there should be a psychiatric and/or legal term for this kind of crime, but I’ve never heard one, so let me know if you got one!

Favorite musician: I have trouble with questions that involve ranking anything, so I’ll just say that right now I’m listening to a lot of old White Zombie. I didn’t know anything about their origins as an East Village noise band, and I’m fascinated by the stories about how apocalyptically miserable it was to be in that group. I’m increasingly obsessed with people who work their asses off doing something they barely even enjoy, for what must be borderline spiritual reasons.

Song stuck in my head: Nothing right this second, for which I am very grateful. There’s something awful in my brain that causes me to wake up with some maddening, babyish tune stuck in my head more often than not. It is most frequently the Ten Little Indians nursery rhyme. This is literally killing me.

Other blogs: @anhed-nia, which started as a dumping ground for long posts about mental illness, and turned into almost only movie writing. at some point there was just so much movie shit that i started to feel awkward about posting anything personal there again. i also got @getoffyrass which is a group blog, and a repository for images that make great drawing references. everyone is encouraged to post their drawings, too, although it is seldom used. i still like having it around, for when i have time to draw. my “real” drawing blog is @neveratendermoment but i don’t draw often enough anymore...

Do I get asks: i used to get tons! i really enjoy them, even the trolls to some degree. i must have seemed like more of a regular tumblr geek girl back in the day. also tumblr has just changed a lot since then. my blog was definitely a casualty of Best Stuff First, i think my follower count stopped dead forever right when that happened, and now that practically every single fucking thing on this entire site is either fandom shit or *discourse*, i really have nothing to offer tumblr anymore, anyway.

Blogs following: 1,057. 

Lucky numbers: 2! Also 5.

What I’m wearing: black wool long john pants from Chrome, and a white v neck teeshirt with the words BLACK MAYONNAISE on it in black Rocky Horror font. i live near the notoriously toxic Gowanus Canal, and “black mayonnaise” is the actual term used to describe what’s on the bottom of it, by the scientists who are trying to figure out what to do with it.

Dream trip: i am really excited by travel, it’s hard to pick. i’m hopefully making a dream trip soon though: my father’s mysterious finno-swedish family is from the åland islands, and my husband and i will be planning part of our honeymoon there, whenever that happens.

Dream Job: i think about this a lot, because the older i get, the more i object to the entire concept of having to work to live. i’m into the whole universal basic income thing. i’m at this point where i can barely stand to think about capitalism in any way--like i think about how the need for money is so mortally serious that there’s a lot of physical stuff in the world that only exists because someone was scared of starving, tons of useless products and packaging and factory byproducts and all kinds of fucking straight up garbage that was only invented due to the lethality of poorness. i would rather be left totally alone forever if possible. however, if i HAD to do something and i COULD do anything, it would probably be film criticism. this fantasy takes place in a world where people care so much about what i have to say that i can make a career, not only out of movie writing, but out of only writing about the specific movies i want to write about, referring to nothing other than my personal reactions.

Favorite food: i wish the answer weren’t just “cheese”, but it probably is. also mushrooms. anything cinnamon. i’m a pretty adventurous eater though. the most important thing for me is a variety of flavors and textures.

Languages: english. i took several years of italian in junior high-high school, and did nothing with it. i taught myself to read french pretty fluently, but i would fold right up if someone tried to speak to me. i learned a bunch of swedish on duolingo, shoulda kept it up. i’ll get back to it! i really regret never learning spanish though, so i’m easily torn on what to do with my time.

Play any instruments: clarinet in junior high/high school, also alto sax which i did not enjoy at all, a little guitar. i bought a used electric bass last year that i have really been enjoying, but i feel a lot of guilt around not playing enough. so much of it is just strength training. that’s probably what i like about it, though. also i got a lot of electronic music software and midi controllers and stuff...and then i realized that it could take me months to sort through the thousands of samples i have to program this stuff, and i only got so far into it before i started to get discouraged. i need to get back to it, it’s ridiculous to let that stuff lie around. this is a rare example of me wishing i knew someone local to play with, who could speed me along on how everything works.

Favorite songs: another one of these impossible questions! anybody who is even reading this can probably guess the answers from the handful of music posts i reblog over and over and over. the other night i got all hyperactive and forced my husband to drop everything and listen to “buffalo stance” by nene cherry, which i never ever get sick of. real top contenders for favorite song might be “Stand By the Jamms” by the klf, and this recording, which has gotten me through many difficult hours:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8k1HsF3EvY

https://www.forcedexposure.com/Catalog/sunray-sonic-boom-music-for-the-dreamachine-cd/STRAWB.003CD.html

Random fact: i’m sure i’m missing out on something really funny and cool, but for now it’s just the well-known fact that i read palms.

Describe yourself as aesthetic thing: man, how do i answer this without being totally pretentious? maybe nobody can! i’m coming up with something really hard to describe but it will be worth it. the other day i watched this insane, completely unnecessary movie about lorca and salvador dali (played by robert pattinson) as gay lovers. there’s a scene in it where lorca does that “pick a hand” thing to dali, and dali picks an empty hand. of course, they’re both poor students who couldn’t be buying any gifts, so they do this obnoxious pantomime where dali pretends lorca actually gave him something--but then it turns out that lorca really DOES have something. he opens his other hand and gives dali...SOMETHING. i don’t know what! they make such a big deal out of it, but what the hell? you see it for a second in this closeup, but it’s shot from like, behind and slightly underneath, and it is just unrecognizable. it’s sort of an orange blob? it’s probably meant to be a sculpture. but, i love the idea of doing the “pick a hand” thing to somebody, and the other person is just like...hey wait a minute, what the fuck even IS this?? 

it reminded me of one of the most amazing things anyone ever did at my school, bard college. this genius art student who I WISH I COULD NAME TO CREDIT HER did her senior project as this like...made up product. i saw them at the senior show, hanging off a spinner rack, like you’d see next to the register in the drug store. they were called Toilet Buddies. they were these plastic, brightly colored objects that looked like toys, but they didn’t have a familiar earthly shape, and because of the title, it was IMPOSSIBLE to imagine what to do with them. so, she gets the lipstick cam from the film department, and shoots this video of herself sneaking some Toilet Buddies into Walmart. then she takes them to the register and BUYS THEM--the baffled cashier looks for them for a while, and eventually just rings them up as a general grocery or something. then in part 2, the artist TAKES THEM BACK TO THE STORE WITH THE RECEIPT AND GETS A REFUND.

so anyway, i see myself as like a fake product--something that looks just familiar enough to exit, and that appears to have a designated purpose, but it’s just kind of cheap and foreign and it becomes nightmarish to try to imagine what to do with it. 

I don’t know if anyone i know will want to do this, but i tag @negativepleasure @moviesludge @former-contender @dimestoreman @thefuzzydave @darkarfs @theoddsideofme @blueruins ...um, i don’t really know who would enjoy this. the ultimate would be @garbagenacht

[flatstarcarcosa]

extremely detailed character meme (Van, ships: right on target and far from any road)

found this on my dash and i thought i’d fill it in! under a cut b/c it is REALLY detailed! some of the questions don’t apply for me, and i tried to make it easy to tell which ship i’m referring too b/c some things are different here and there 

Character Chart Character’s full name: Van (pronounced vaughn, rhymes with fawn) Miller Reason or meaning of name: None  Character’s nickname: None, aside from petnames Reason for nickname: None Birth date: for ship: right on target: 10/03/1990 for ship: far from any road: 10/03/1970  Physical appearance Age: ship: right on target: 29\ ship: far from any road: 24 in 95, 30 in 02, 40 in 2012 How old do they appear: Perpetually babyfaced. So about 15 or so until they hit their mid 30′s Weight: honestly i don’t know Height: 5′2 (look what’s the point of a self insert if i can’t achieve my dream of being at least five foot tall all right) Body build: stronk.  Shape of face: square ish?  Eye color: grey Glasses or contacts: glasses, doesn’t like them unless they’re sunglasses though, prefers to squint and look like a hamster  Skin tone: pale/sickly at times, tan if they’ve been in the sun, but still very white  Distinguishing marks: pointy canines  Predominant features: nothing really sticks out, van’s physical features are pretty normal Hair color: naturally a muted blonde. prone to dying it a bright yellow in 95 and 02 for ship: far from any road. dyed black for ship: right on target Type of hair: straight Hairstyle: fluffy, over hair sprayed mullet ponytail thing for ‘95, ‘02 has a less hair band style looking thing but still pretty punky, ‘12 Van has what i call the ‘business undercut’ (far from any road). also just a normal, kind of spiky undercut for (right on target) Voice: i dont know how to answer this?  Overall attractiveness: this is just a bad question  Physical disabilities: I’m gonna break this one down because one thing i love about my self inserts is modifying my own, actual disabilities a bit so: far from any road: van has kidney and bladder problems that get progressively worse as time goes on, and undiagnosed celiac disease. because of a severe motorcycle accident in ‘89 they also have a weak/bum leg that is prone at times to flaring up with pain and instability with no warning. after a second motorcycle accident in ‘95, these things get a lot worse. by the time ‘12 rolls around van resigns themself to having traded in their bike years earlier for an actual car and using a cane. they’re not happy about it.  right on target: same kidney/bladder/digestive issues. bum leg is a side effect of general chronic pain caused by it. their leg has a habit of still going out at random, and despite needing a cane sometimes they refuse to use it. lester always keep an eye out in case their leg is about to collapse under them. he’s grabbed them many times to keep them from hitting the ground.  Usual fashion of dress: dark, leather, jeans, punky looking things.  Favorite outfit: leather jacket, motorcycle boots even if they’re not riding, jeans.  Jewelry or accessories: big clunky silver rings. right on target!van has a solid black metal band on their left thumb that matches one lester has.

Personality Good personality traits: tries to be kind, tries to make things better for others at the expense of themself, funny, loves animals,  Bad personality traits: addiction problems, quick temper, far from any road!van likes to hustle people at bars and get into bar fights but usually only if they’ve been provoked  Mood character is most often in: it cycles a lot, so  Sense of humor: good? this is a vague question  Character’s greatest joy in life: photography, making people laugh, alone time Character’s greatest fear: death, being in poverty again/being stuck in poverty,  Why? being poor is Not Fun What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? far from any road: something happening to rust. they don’t realize at it first but he’s become their grounding agent, and without him there to balance them out they would not fare well.  right on target: lester’s brief stint of being fucking dead and murdered on TV wasn’t a good time.  Character is most at ease when: it’s cold and rainy out and they have an excuse to stay in bed and snooze.  Most ill at ease when: surrounded by too many people and too many noises. Enraged when: hhhhhhhhhhhhh often? the worst they get is in ‘95 when marty makes a few jabs at their trauma and they beat him bloody before rust pulls them off him.  Depressed or sad when: also often, sometimes for no reason. thats kind of what clinical depression is. Priorities: money. taking care of themself with it in order to be able to help others. Life philosophy: sometimes you don’t have to be great, you can just be okay.  If granted one wish, it would be: ability to change gender/sex characteristics at will. Why? it’s the transgenderism (i use that word satirically and as a joke, for those that don’t know that’s a te]]]rf dogwhistle in other situations, a lot of trans people have taken it back)  Character’s soft spot: their pets and the fact that being a raging asshole is a front they have to actively work at. Is this soft spot obvious to others? depends on the person. to rust? yes. to lester? not as much.  Greatest strength: refusal to give up. Greatest vulnerability or weakness: raging asshole disease and the addiction issues. Biggest regret: developing addiction issues.   Minor regret: it also cycles like their moods. Biggest accomplishment: far from any road: got a bachelor’s degree in sociology before deciding to get into journalism.  right on target: ??? van doesn’t feel accomplished. lester is trying to encourage them at going to college but he’s not very good at it.  Minor accomplishment: “not fucking dead yet, assholes”  Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: far from any road: van was never able to find out who it was in the south texas area that was targeting members of the LGBT community, that’s the whole reason they ended up with the crusaders and met rust, they had reason to believe it was someone connected to the gang. despite help from rust, the investigation went nowhere and all they have is a half finished expose.  right on target: they didn’t try to leave an abusive situation sooner. Why? see above Character’s darkest secret: i? don’t know??   Does anyone else know? N/A Goals Drives and motivations: just live the best they can Immediate goals: not die Long term goals: not die, perhaps be less of an alcoholic  How the character plans to accomplish these goals: slowly?  How other characters will be affected: they help.  Past Hometown: --- Type of childhood: traumatic Pets: dogs, frogs, turtles, hamsters First memory: ---- Most important childhood memory: ----  Why:  ------ Childhood hero:------ Dream job: ------ Education: bachelor’s degree for far from any road, GED for right on target Religion: atheistic but understanding and accepting of others Finances: far from any road: not fucking superb, hence the side hustles. right on target: poor  Present Current location: far from any road: Louisiana, i don’t remember TD ever stating where at aside from in the sticks right on target: NYC  Currently living with: rust or lester  Pets: far from any road is various pets at various times, right on target is initially just the doggo. Religion: still the same  Occupation: hustler slash freelance journalist for far from any road, unemployed for right on target Finances: better by 2012 (far from any road) thanks to a boring but stable office job, and for right on target they have lester’s money now and even lester doesn’t know how much he has aside from “a lot”. Family Mother: ------- Relationship with her: nonexistent    Father: Bastard Sr. Relationship with him: nonexistent.  Siblings: sister, older Relationship with them: non existent Spouse: rust/lester Relationship with him/her: i mean in both settings it’s a long term (rust right at around 20 years if you count their time in the crusaders initially, lester about 7 years) so, good if complicated at times Children:  no Relationship with them: none Other important family members: none  Favorites Color: purple, green, black Least favorite color: red Music: prog rock Food: pizza, waffles, hash browns, cereal  Literature: lots! really, its across all genres Form of entertainment: viddy gaems Expressions: what?  Mode of transportation: motorcycle or car  Most prized possession: also motorcycle or car Habits Hobbies: viddy gaemz, photography, sketch comedy  Plays a musical instrument? nah Plays a sport? is pool a sport?  How he/she would spend a rainy day: cozy in bed, s***ing some d***  Spending habits: they are fucking cheap as fuck whether they have money or not Smokes: yes, they say they’re planning to quit but [thor voice] is he though  Drinks: yes, it’s the alcoholism  Other drugs: pills mostly. to be fair they do HAVE to have a lot of meds because of chronic illness but they do love them some benzos  What does he/she do too much of? drinks, sleeps, smokes What does he/she do too little of? healthy food, exercise  Extremely skilled at: hustling. that works in both setting because with rust they learned it themself, with lester he taught them. also, writing.  Extremely unskilled at: art, socialising with people  Nervous tics: knuckle cracking,  Usual body posture: crosses arms a lot  Mannerisms: ???? Peculiarities: ????? Traits Optimist or pessimist? pessimist  Introvert or extrovert? introvert  Daredevil or cautious? cautious  Logical or emotional? both actually, it’s not fun Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? disorderly and messy, clashes with rust’s methodical and neat Prefers working or relaxing? relaxing  Confident or unsure of himself/herself? switches rapidly between both  Animal lover? yes Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: bad.  One word the character would use to describe self: asshole  One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: no good alcoholic junkie with a shitty temper, a shittier outlook and few skills or worth to bring to the table except a raging selfish streak What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? sense of humor  What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? temper  What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? thicc What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? crippled How does the character think others perceive him/her: badly,  What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: alcoholism  Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: they try to be cordial, unless they’re in traffic, in which case it’s fuck you and your fucking mother you stupid fucking motherfucker  Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? yes Person character most hates: [redacted]  Best friend(s): @dadbodsandbots is p much hanging out somewhere in every setting  Love interest(s): rust and lester  Person character goes to for advice: they don’t, that requires enough vulnerability to admit there’s a problem Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: also rust and lester Person character feels shy or awkward around: van is very uncomfortable around marty most of the time, he reminds them of their father. it smooths out as time goes on, but still. also when lester was stuck with the DA, they didn’t like daken at first  Person character openly admires: ehh? Person character secretly admires: ehh?  Most important person in character’s life before story starts: ehh?  After story starts: ehh? 

found here

[frecklessbellamy]

Did someone ask for another tag game?

Apparently @bellarkes-hope did (thanks, lovely!) 😘

Answer these then tag 10 followers you’d like to get to know better!

• 1. have you ever been in love? Not romantic love, but other types of love? Absolutely

• 2. who is your favourite artist? Taylor Swift

• 3. what is your favourite music genre? Pop

• 4. have you ever had a penpal? Yes! When I was fourteen, I went on a school trip to France and stayed with a host family in Lyon, after I left, my host sister and I wrote to each other for like two years until I got a Facebook account 

• 5. are you single or in a relationship? Single pringle!

• 6. what colour are your eyes? Hazel 

• 7. what is your favourite word? If I’m being honest, I have to say, ‘‘fuck’‘ because it comes in handy in so many different scenarios (fun fact: I swear like a sailor)

• 8. do you play any instruments? I used to play the piano and flute and I also took voice lessons when I was in high school 

• 9. what is your favourite colour? Turquoise 

• 10. do you have any nicknames? Els, El, Elle Belle, Els Bels, Tiny Jane, Smelly

• 11. what is your favourite flower? Roses and orchids 

• 12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person? Intelligence, a sense of humour, good conversation skills 

• 13. do you have any pets? No, my family has a really bad track record with pets

• 14. have you ever travelled outside of your home country? I’ve been to Europe, the UK, the US, Thailand and Senegal 

• 15. what language(s) do you speak? English and French 

• 16. who was your first crush? A boy who was in my class in Year 5, he was also my first kiss 

• 17. do you wear glasses? Yes, although not often, as I tend to wear my contact lenses in preference 

• 18. what is your favourite pastry? Apple pie with custard 

• 19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean? The ocean, I hate chlorine 

• 20. bright, dark, or pastel colours? Dark

• 21. what is your favourite social media app? Tumblr

• 22. what is your sexuality? Bi 💖💜💙

• 23. do you have any siblings? Yes! I have a younger brother 

• 24. what is your favourite scent? Frying onions and garlic because it reminds me of my mum’s cooking 

• 25. where do you want to travel to? Literally everywhere, my list of places to visit only gets longer the more I travel 

• 26. what is your favourite film? Love Actually

• 27. who do people say you look like? My mum (to be fair, we are actually peas in a pod)

• 28. who is your best friend? @highladyofdreamcourt @marysmusicaldaydreams @charming-little-liar @sidewaysthinking are my IRL besties, also pretty much all my mutuals 

• 29. what is your dream job? Medical scientist 

• 30. do you know how to drive? Yes

• 31. who is/was your favourite teacher? My research supervisors, Tim and Christine, who are both endlessly patient, helpful and encouraging  

• 32. are you a feminist? Abso-fucking-lutely 👌  

• 33. what is your zodiac sign? Scorpio 

• 34. do you enjoy reading? Yes, although I don’t read much these days 

• 35. do you have any hidden talents? ...writing? 

• 36. have you ever dyed your hair? Many times! 

• 37. what is your favourite thing in your bedroom? My bed 

• 38. what is your biggest fear? Being/feeling incompetent  

• 39. can you whistle? Yes

• 40. do you make your bed every day? Yes, my mother made sure the habit of making my bed every morning as soon as I get up was ingrained in me very early on 

• 41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings? I have my ears pierced, no tattoos 

• 42. have you ever been on a roller coaster? Yes and I hate them 👌

• 43. surfing or skateboarding? Neither tbh

• 44. are you a dog or a cat person? Dog person

• 45. what is your favourite animal? Owls

• 46. do you have a skincare routine? I cleanse and moisturise my face every day and I always make sure I remove my makeup before going to bed 

• 47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at? At the moment, I usually go to bed around 11pm and wake up by 8am 

• 48. what is your favourite memory? My 21st birthday party

• 49. how tall are you? 5′4′’ (I think?)

• 50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received? A Tiffany and Co pendant that I got for my 21st (my friends from undergrad all chipped in to get it for me and I wear it every day) 

• 51. do you have a garden? Kind of? My back garden is paved because we have a pool, but we still have plants and stuff 

• 52. do you like bugs? I fucking hate them 

• 53. what is your natural hair colour? Dark brown 

• 54. what is your favourite food and drink? My favourite food is fish and chips and my favourite drink is tea 

• 55. do you want kids? Yes, I hope to adopt two or three kids 

• 56. what is/was your favourite class? Microbiology 

• 57. what colour shirt are you wearing? Grey

• 58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why? The 1920s because it’s my favourite historical era 

• 59. what is your skin colour? ...white? 

• 60. hugs or kisses? Hugs

• 61. have you ever drunk alcohol? Yes

• 62. have you ever done drugs? No

• 63. netflix or youtube? Netflix

• 64. ice cream or frozen yogurt? Ice cream

• 65. succulents or flowers? Flowers

@blueshirtbell @linctavias @starboybellamy @stargirlclarke @broodybellamy @moon-face-ella @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @granger--danger @dracosbellamy @commander-anya

[teapotpartythot]

Doing this

1: I’m afraid my name will have to stay ademainalors ;)

2: 20

3: 3 Fears

The afterlife

Immortality

Mortality

4: 3 things I love

Anime

My Dell Latitude E6410

Cartoons that cannot technically be called anime

5: 4 turns on

Power

Intelligence

Strange hair

Complex understanding of trauma

6: 4 turns off

Misogyny

Homophobia

Clingyness

7: My best friend

Brie or Kyle, although to be honest, I haven’t talked with many humans in the past several months, so at this point, both individuals probably only consider me as a regular friend

8: Sexual orientation

Pansexual

9: My best first date

Aromantic, I never knew, but they were all awful

10: How tall am I

5″ 5′

11: What do I miss

When Zack used to do house rules DND with me, Kyle and Armstrong

12: What time were I born

Heck if I know

13: Favourite color

#ff0000

14: Do I have a crush

I tend not to pay my crushes much mind now that I’ve come to terms with my aromanticism, but when Nathan joked about how he’d want to fuck someone in the server closet, in my head I was like, name a time

15: Favourite quote

16: Favourite place

The Japanese Library

17: Favourite food

Pasta

18: Do I use sarcasm

No, never, not me ever

19: What am I listening to right now

The silence of the void (that’s not an edgy band name... yet)

20: First thing I notice in new person

Their relationship to power

21: Shoe size

10 I think? Fun fact, I religiously wear crocs, and crocs actually stretch out with use, so my crocs have been growing with my feet.

22: Eye color

Hazel

23: Hair color

Brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

I was talking to Kyle about Queer Eye, and I said, “You know what they would say to me if they saw me, they would say I wear clothes that nobody would ever wear because no clothes express my gender, and then they would fix that” And he told me I was perceptive. My favorite shirt is an MPR Volunteer shirt that has no gender.

25: Ever done a prank call?

Nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

What Adrien says to Marinette at the end of the umbrella scene, “See you around” in french

28: Favourite movie

Tangled, but in Spanish

29: Favourite song

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

30: Favourite band

Baths

31: How I feel right now

Overwhelmed

32: Someone I love

My parents platonically

33: My current relationship status

Single

34: My relationship with my parents

Good

35: Favourite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

I’d prefer to keep those Japanese bathhouse privileges

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I shared a blog with Kyle on Blogger and he wanted it moved because Blogger sucks

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I’m irritated with my last ex, as my last relationship made me realize I was aromantic and that I was doing painful amounts of emotional labor and downright fraud in the name of normalicy

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Nope

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My dad? Platonically

42: When did I last hold hands?

In my last relationship

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 Minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

I haven’t shaved them in the past three years!

45: Where am I right now?

My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Nobody, that’s why I don’t drink

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

At a reasonable level

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

If I’m being honest, no, but there are several things I would tell people about IRL if I were asked

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Is the opposite of non-binary cisgender, or another non-binary? Doesn’t matter, the answer is no

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Too much

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

My dad, platonically, two weeks ago

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I wouldn’t care

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

My lab partner for this goddamn lab report

55: What is something I disliked about today?

My lack of productivity

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Justin Trudeau

57: What do I think about most?

My time efficiency

58: What’s my strangest talent?

Mechanum: I can execute complete instructions perfectly, and I can memorize sets of complete instructions. So if I get a set of complete instructions, I can master the task associated. I am very good at extremely divergent tasks due to this.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

Having to attend SCSU

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind. Pansonic HMC150s are the bomb .com

61: What was the last lie I told?

I told a group of people that I was sick. I’m actually just anxious and depressed, which is it’s own kind of sick, but I implied influenza.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chat.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Aliens probably, but they likely formed at the same time we did and are either too far or lackluster like dolphins. Ghosts, not really.

64: Do I believe in magic?

I bought a spell from a witch down on money, I just like witches though, I’m not wiccan

65: Do I believe in luck?

100%

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Clear night skies?

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Sedra Smith, Microelectric Circuits

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

No

69: Do I have any nicknames?

None that I like, except 雨

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Concussion, 6th grade skiing accident

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Mostly save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

Nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

Yup, my blankets are pink, should change 74: Favourite animal? 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Ochocki-Becker

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Get it together, by the Go-Team 78: How can you win my heart?

You can’t. I’ll be your QP if we make a utilitarian symbiotic domestic partnership. I’ll fuck you if you’re sexy and can somehow manage to not trigger memories of my sexual assault, but like, that won’t happen.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Rest in Pieces

80: What is my favorite word?

です

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I’m not here to start a war, though one of them is haiku bot

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

We are not Trump

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Pausing time

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Tell me about your sexual history

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Me standing next to a no parking sign in Japanese in a small town in rural Minnesota

87: Had sex?

Yes

88: Bought condoms?

Kind of

89: Gotten pregnant?

No

90: Failed a class?

I have more W’s than a web address but no F’s

91: Kissed a boy?

Yes

92: Kissed a girl?

Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

No

94: Had job?

Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Actually, surprisingly, Kyle. We’re cool now.

97: Had sex in public?

No

98: Played on a sports team?

Yep, 3rd grade, Softball. I wanted to play baseball and I hated it.

99: Smoked weed?

No

100: Did drugs?

No

101: Smoked cigarettes?

No

102: Drank alcohol?

Confirmation wine, a sip of champaign that I spat out, a sip of gin that I spat out. I can taste the death of my mouth microbiota when I put alcohol in my mouth

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Vegetarian

104: Been overweight?

Nope

105: Been underweight?

Probably

106: Been to a wedding?

Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

まいにち

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

はい、アニメを見ます。

109: Been outside my home country?

Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken?

I don’t have one, but I found out a FWB hated non binaries. It was kind of crushing.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Yep

112: Broken a bone?

Nope

113: Cut myself?

Sort of, TW: I pick at the skin around my toenails, sometimes with pushpins

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

Yep, Houston

116: Fly by helicopter?

No

117: What concerts have I been to?

The FIRST Robotics concert

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yep

119: Learned another language?

はい、すごし

120: Wore make up?

Yeah, I hate it

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

TW: Is rape virginity

122: Had oral sex?

Yeah, it sucked.

123: Dyed my hair?

No

124: Voted in a presidential election?

Hillary Clinton

125: Rode in an ambulance?

Yes, concussion

126: Had a surgery?

Wisdom teeth removal

127: Met someone famous?

Dessa

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Probably

129: Peed outside?

No

130: Been fishing?

Yes

131: Helped with charity?

Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush?

Yes

133: Broken a mirror?

Yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

Cash

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

Adopting teenagers, they’ll have names already, probably one, but maybe more if they’ve got sibs, Despicable Me style.

136: Was I named after anyone?

Something

137: Do I like my handwriting?

No, it’s an abomination

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

Piglet

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Assasination Classroom

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Minnesota doncha no?

141: Play any musical instrument?

Used to play trombone

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

Scootering accident

143: Favourite pizza toping?

Alfredo sauce instead of tomato sauce

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No 145: Am I afraid of heights?

Yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

No 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

The midterm two days ago

148: What I’m really bad at

Reading university textbooks

149: What my greatest achievments are

Student Senate President

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

I was in a political argument and some bitch brought my yellow teeth into it

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Take the payments over time, put in a bank account, pay off people’s loans on the contidition they try to pay off other people’s loans, put solar panels on things, buy a tesla

152: What do I like about myself

My hair 153: My closest Tumblr friend

@dragon-in-a-fez 154: Something I fantasise about

Being dictator of the US 155: Any question you’d like?

42

[ruffoverthinksthings]

Can you do the ship meme for Jane x anyone you want?

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Jane.

Likeall the other times I’ve mentioned her, Mal has been constantlydrilled that showing any sort of affection or care for other peopleis the worst kind of weakness you can ever show, and the scarsand traumas of Maleficent’s shitty parenting take a LONG while toheal.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Malis big spoon, Jane is little spoon.

Asidefrom the fact that Mal starts naturally producing dragon fire and iswarm and cozy to snuggle up to at night, Mal feels much morecomfortable being the “protector” of the two, and Jane is morethan happy to have someone beside her to fend off the anxieties andnightmares.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Whetheror not to do something in public.

Janeslowly loses her social anxieties as evidenced by her becoming partof the cheerleading squad and having her face out rather than hiddenin the Fighting Knight part of the school mascot, but she’s stillVERY reluctant to do many things where people can see her and judgeher, even if most people really couldn’t care.

Itdoesn’t really help that, willingly or not, Mal becomes one of themost public faces for VK reform in Auradon, along with her artneeding publicity and attention from the media to actually turn aprofit.

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Youwould think it’s Jane braiding and styling Mal’s hair, you’d bewrong.

Withthis specific pair, it’s actually hanging in just their underwearin Jane’s room, and eventually, their own brownstone apartment thatthey have all to themselves. Jane has suffered a lot of socialanxieties and expectations foisted upon her, not the least of whichwas the conservative ideals of Auradon that says that even in theprivacy of your room, you should be decent should someone happen tocome by for a chat.

It’sa form of rebellion for her to be this free and shameless about hersexuality and her body, long sources of shame and distress for her asAuradon has very little room for experimentation, expression, orfreedom in general.

“Ican dance in just my underwear, and I don’t ever feel like there’sinvisible eyes watching me! It’s great!”

Malhas a different brand of issues, in that the public takes greatoffense to whenever she is “daring” or “VK” here in Auradon,and it has bred an even stronger distaste in her for theirconservative values. Also, you couldn’t really walk around in yourunderwear in the Isle, if you had the choice—“it’s cold, it’sgrimy, and there’s PLENTY of things you do NOT want to step inwithout a slipper, at the least.”

Onan incidental note, this is why the two of them get rather hot andbothered when in the presence of silly print panties, particularlystyles similar to the ones they already own.

AndYES, Mal still has the green baby dragon print panties. Jane’s iswhite with baby blue “bow tie butterflies.”

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Mal,with Jane.

Thereare many days where Jane just doesn’t want to do anything anymore,and Mal makes it a point that her girlfriend gets home safely or tosomewhere she can rest and recharge where there isn’t noise,people, or inquisitive reporters bothering her.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Mal’seyes are an endless source of fascination for Jane. She really likesthe draconic quality they can take when she’s angry or excited, andthat she can read so much of her emotions and feelings from her eyes,not that that means much because Jane has fairy empathy and can tellexactly what she feels at any moment.

Onthe flipside, Mal finds herself REALLY into Jane’s body, becauseshe’s been so conservative and reserved about it, and now thatshe’s willingly and subtly changing it into something less “basic”and much more shapely, curvy, and full-figured (like a younger,sexier version of Fairy Godmother’s original form and her currentshape), she finds herself frequently accidentally setting things onfire when jets of flame shoot out of her nostrils when her internaltemperature gets too much.

Beforeyou ask, Jane has mastered basic fire suppression magic, and takes itas the clearest sign that the outfit or look is a “Yes, please.”

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Maland Jane are both incredibly socially awkward and avoidant when itcomes to this thing called “feelings,” and probably spend a longwhile trying to intentionally avoid each other, and accidentally runinto each other because they both happen to figure out “What’sthe least likely place I’m going to run into Jane/Mal?”, gothere, and irony runs its course.

It’seven worse that they now they can’t use the “I just so happenedto be at our usual haunts at the same time as you” excuse becausethere’s really no reason Jane nor Mal would ever be at a make-upstore without Evie helping them navigate and fend off the, ah,‘highly enthusiastic’ store clerks and product reps.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

Mal’sare “My Little Space Heater” after said internal dragon firedevelops thanks to magic exposure, “Blaze” because she keepsaccidentally setting things on fire whenever she’s turned on, and“Vi” as in “violet,” one of her many preferred shades ofpurple.

Jane’sare “Bo” as in bow tie because of Jane’s preference for them,“Mom” used jokingly whenever she’s scolding Mal or trying toget her to act more mature, and “Mistress” when they’re gettingkinky.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Malis no calm, collected, and anxiety-free individual herself, but Janeis just the much more severe train wreck.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane,by virtue of infallible fairy memory.

11.Whotops?:

Jane.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Jane.

Again,Mal is awkward about asking for physical intimacy and kisses, letalone initiating them, so Jane just preemptively showers her withlove.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Jane.

Shedecides to be more daring with Mal, because she’s got limited timeto make a move on her (284 years at the least, give or take), andbecause she tires of the game of avoidance and awkward coincidencesthat happen after they first realize they’re gay for each other.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Mal.

Initiatingkisses? Terrible at it. Getting going once they’re actually firedup? There is very literal smoke when they break away, and possiblysinge marks to the beginnings of raging fires on nearby surfaces andflammable objects.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Mal,caveat that Jane never really sleeps.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Jane.

Outsideof her room is where all her anxieties live.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Jane,with the caveat that it was said far too fast for Mal to understand,before the incident for questions 29-30 happen.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

“

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Mal,because Jane is evasive and unwilling to open up to Fairy Godmothergiven how terrible all the other times went. It was also REALLY easyfor Mal to talk to a sentient lizard in a terrarium incapable ofspeaking, and just tell her friends that she’s dating a differentAK.

Again,it’s no surprise for VKs to hear that someone’s with someone newall of a sudden, and Mal was already the precedent for dating acrossthe culture line.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

Maleficentis disappointed as usual that her daughter has been fully purified bythe Auradonians, fallen in “true love” twice, and is evenmore a disappointment to her for the rest of all of eternity.

FairyGodmother is of two minds about this, because Jane is unquestionablyhappier and more confident, but she’s also becoming muchmore daring, scandalous, and adventurous in her daily life. It’skind of like FG’s the highly conservative single mother raising agood, rule-abiding, and decent child, who is now dating a girl whowears tattoos and leather jackets with pride, frequently breaks thelaw either intentionally or as a consequence of the trouble that isattracted to her like a super-powered magnet, and smokes—both inthe “dragon fire” sense, and the “weird and wonderful world ofrecreational drugs” sense.

AsI said, the VKs are non-plussed about it: Mal has already definedherself as the kind that consorts with the AKs after her famousrelationship with Ben, and again, they haven’t really cared muchabout other people’s relationships unless it enables or preventsthem from getting what they want or need day-to-day.

TheAKs are rather surprised that Jane would be dating Mal, of allpeople, and it throws all of their preconceptions about Jane for aloop, especially once they catch word of all the new things she’sdoing with her newfound confidence and girlfriend.

“HaveI really changed? Am I being corrupted? Or was I always like this,it’s just that I always pushed this side of me away? Whatever thecase, this is who I am now, and this is who I will be for theforeseeable future, because I like this me, and if you don’t?

“Well,you can just go fuck yourself! … Oh my gosh—I’m so sorry Icursed! But yeah, my point still stands...”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Inprivate, Jane.

She’salways had a habit of dancing to songs on the radio or from theinternet when she’s alone in her room and there’s really nothingbetter to do.

Inpublic,

Mal.Aside from the one that she’s always taking the lead due topersonality and the difference in heights between them, she’s theone who’s not paralyzed by the thought of so many people seeing herdo something like dancing.

“Justfocus on me, okay?” Mal says, Jane does, and the just have fun onthe dance floor.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.

She’shad vastly more experience, and for Mal, “cooking was never reallya thing unless you were trying to roast a rat to make it tastesomewhat better, or get rid of poisonous bits neutralized by fire.”

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Jane,surprisingly enough.

“DoI smell smoke?” is frequently used whenever she’s sending naughtySnapchats or intentionally riling Mal up.

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Jane,again.

She’ssteadily becoming more daring and confident now that she realizesthat Auradon’s conservative standards are a choice, not theonly “right” way to be in this world. She’s still frequentlynervous when she does it, and it’s very rare, but HOO DAMNdoes it catch Mal off-guard.

“It’slike a tiny adorable kitten just staring up at you with big, wideeyes, and going ‘Fuck you!’ it just can’t not throw youoff!”

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane,once again.

It’swhy Mal is always there to hold her while she’s seated in her lap,remind her that she’s stronger than she thinks she is, much morethan her appearance, and that she’s always going to be there forher.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

“BodyImage” by Tupperware Remix Party.

“Weare as beautiful as our flaws.”

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Mal.

Shehas the nicer singing voice, Jane thinks, and it’s good practicefor her to start being more comfortable with the idea of openlyshowing affection and vulnerability to another person.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Malhangs out with her friends, goes to “underground” events byherself or with her VK/more adventureous AK friends, and of course,works solo on her art, her preferred past time now that she doesn’tprioritize “being Evil.”

Janeplays video games, reads, does her other hobbies like cooking andgardening, explores nature, and practices her magic discretely.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Jane’sconfession to Mal was during one of their twice monthly hang-outs inher room, practicing magic on the down-low as the ban was still ineffect at the time. Since Mal gave up her spellbook after the eventsof “Rise of the Isle of the Lost,” the two have resorted to goingaround looking for scraps of spells and old magical tomes, Jane beingthe better of the two because she is used to scouring dusty, mustylibraries for something new to read, and knows exactly where shehasn’t looked before.

Janetells Mal that she stumbled upon a very interesting, high-levelspell, a rarity considering so many of them are very tightly sealed,and leaks like this (by conspiracy or accident) were a rarity. “It’sa time-stop spell: freezes the entire world except you, so you’refree to do whatever you like as long as it’s in effect.”

Janeclarifies that at their experience and power levels, neither of themcan do more than just two-four seconds of frozen time, and the effectis just on their surrounding area—say, the size of Jane’s rathersmall room—but Mal is excited nonetheless.

Malarrives that Saturday at Janes’ room. The curtains are drawn, thedoor is locked, and they make sure that the nearly deserted hallsleading to it aren’t about to have anyone even passing by anytimesoon. They crack open Jane’s copy and notes of the spell, and startreading it, deciphering the missing pieces, and how to actually castthe damn thing.

Fictionmakes magic look so easy, but the spells are actually like “one-pressapps”: a collection of numerous interlocking, smaller spells andparameters and effects that have been collected, compiled, and givenan easy “key” so the magician doesn’t need to cast every singleone of those enchantments individually.

BecauseJane was the one to find such a treasure, she gets the honour oftrying to cast it first, and she does.

Toher surprise, it works—the world is completely frozen around her,everything from her furniture, the walls and the floors, and Malherself in an odd, baby blue hue like Jane’s magic. She’sobviously giddy that she managed such a powerful spell, instinctivelytelling Mal that it worked, before she realizes that she can’treact to or do anything in her current state.

Andthen an idea pops into Jane’s mind, a fleeting thought she’d beenpushing away several times, something she’d been reminding herselfthat she could not do because of the consequences, because it was notthe Right thing to do, but kept worming its way back to Jane’s mindover and over again, persistently clawing and fighting till it’s atthe very front and unavoidable.

Shehesitates for a moment, before she darts forward and kisses Mal onthe lips.

Becauseof her unique brain structure and how fast it can process everything,all of the debating, the pushing back, and the committing to adecision takes less than a second. Moving faster than she normallydoes, pressing her lips against Mal’s takes another. Registeringand enjoying the sensation of kissing Mal—lips scarred and chappedand not quite healed, with a hardness and roughness you just didn’tfind here in sunny and upper class Auradon Prep—and of finallyfinding an answer to the question of she would enjoy it (she does)takes two.

Andwith that, the haze is sucked back into Jane in a snap, and Mal isabout to open her mouth and ask if it worked before she realizesthere’s a pair of soft andquivering lipson hers that definitelyisn’t from anyone she’s ever kissed before.

Janeslowly opens her eyes, and when they notice Mal’s looking straightback at her, they shoot wide open. She pulls back so quickly shefalls onto her back, crawls away on her hands and feet.

Malblinks. “Jane…?” she asks.

Janecan’t stop time again, not with all these alarming thoughts andpredictions for the future and realizations about the full gravity ofher mistake bearing down on her. But, with the inhuman speeds she’scapable of, she can disappear into her closet before Mal is evenaware that she’s moved.

Malblinks again. “Jane!” she cries as she scrambles up.

Janeis inside her closet, moving aside boxes, old props, and schoolprojects, before she opens up one of the secret tunnels leading outof her room, a remnant of Auradon Prep from when it was a Duke’s“summer castle” that had escaped the filling and collapsingefforts. She hears Mal banging on the door outside, she pulls openthe hatch, crawls in, and shuts it behind her just as quickly.

Malputs her foot to the door, trying to kick it down, but the solidlybuilt, ancient hardwood isn’t the rotten and pest-infested planksshe’s used to. She curses under her breath as she scours her memoryfor an unlocking spell, before she just decides to go with theeasier, more direct approach:

Boom.

Thelock flies out, and crashes to the floor with a noisy clang. Theforce of the blast knocks over much of Jane’s stuff, making itcollapse over the secret tunnel and hiding her escape. Mal runs intoher walk-in closet, looks around, and starts digging through all herbelongings, trying to find where someone like her can squeeze in.

“Jane?”Mal asks as she searches. “Jane! Jane, where are you…?”

Insidethe tunnel, Jane cowers and hides, holding her breath for as long asit takes for Mal to give up and leave, ignoring the creepy crawlies,the dust, the fungus, and what else has found its way into this longabandoned tunnel in who knows how long.

Unfortunately,there’s no ignoring the voice in her head, quietly whispering thesame words over and over again, a familiar tune from her “childhood”:

“Youfucked up, you fucked up, you fucked up...”

Malshows up the day after, knocking on her door, asking if she’s homeevery once in a while, sending her texts and attempting to call her,but Jane just holds her breath again, pretends she’s not in, turnedoff her phone so her ringtone or the vibration of it on anythingwouldn’t give her away.

Becauseof her history with numerous social anxieties, she’s allowed totake attend her classes remotely, submitting homework, make-uprecitations, and attendance activities, even if her teachersencourage her to please come back to class, and her other friendssometimes drop by with her homework and group projects, rather thansending her digital copies.

Allthey really can do is just slid it under the door, or leave itoutside, wait for Jane to have it sent to them by all manner of meansthat don’t require her to show up in person—one of Carlos’flying drone projects, discretely teleporting them into her room, orenlisting the help of woodland creatures to whisk them away for her.

Theonly time she really does leave her room is when it’s time for hermonthly dinner with Fairy Godmother, falling on a Wednesday as usual.

Asyou might expect, FG is a very busy woman, being personallyresponsible for the supervision, growth, and development of most ofthe children of most of the monarchs in Auradon, who will becomefuture Kings and Queens themselves. It hasn’t left much time forher to attend to Jane, to say the least, but she made it a point toalways have certain times of the year and out of every month tocompletely, fully devote to Jane, where nothing short of arealm-threatening disaster can take her attention away.

Asmuch as Jane appreciates the thought and the spirit of it, however,like everything with her mother, it’s a mixed bag.

“So,I heard you haven’t been showing up to your classes again...”Fairy Godmother starts after that night’s dinner has beenserved—Chinese style steamed vegetable wraps.

“...”Jane idly picks up her chopsticks, her face cast down at her plate.

“Doyou want to talk about it?” Fairy Godmother asks.

“...”Jane pauses for a moment, her chopsticks held up in the air, beforeshe shakes her head, still not looking at FG.

FairyGodmother sighs. “Jane… I’ll admit I haven’t been the bestmother to you, especially now that all your friends are teens andyou’re all going through an incredibly rough period in yourlives—and that’s without the VKs.

“Butplease, could you confide in me whatever it is that you’re goingthrough right now? I can’t magic it away like I used to, but thatdoesn’t mean I’m completely helpless to help you!”

“Yesyou are,” Jane thinks to herself, while she says “I canhandle it on my own, mom.”

FairyGodmother sighs. “There’s no shame in asking for help, you know.”

“Iknow...” Jane says as she carefully tears apart a chunk of herwrap, watching the steam pour out of the seam and the vegetablesspill out.

FairyGodmother closes her eyes, and opens them again. “I’ve said itbefore, I’ll say it again: it’s best you tackle problems as soonas you can, because they tend to get worse the longer you wait.”

Janemakes a non-committal sound as she forks it into her mouth—hermother’s cooking is delicious as always, a perk of having eternityto master her domestic skills and twenty years to go all out inpracticing it, but it’s going to take more than good food to makeall these bad feelings go away.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Saturdayonce more.

Thelock in Jane’s closet has been put back into place, the damageundone with Carlos’ help and objective, infallible knowledge of theexact look of the paint and wood so not even Fairy Godmother would beany the wiser as to what happened to it, the dislodged contents alsorearranged for good measure.

Thecurtains are open, what sunlight she gets from this secluded part ofthe castle is streaming in, all is quiet and peaceful and no one isaround for miles, just how Jane likes it.

Orrather, how she’s supposed to like it.

Whenthe time rolls around that Mal was supposed to arrive and the two ofthem would practice magic together, Jane is all too aware thatthere’s going to be none of her or that, she feels restless,uneasy, a great gnawing inside of her that just can’t be ignored,and will not be ignored.

Janeis used to discomfort, to anxiety, to worry, but this is on a wholenew level. From years and years of having to feel others emotions,and having to name them and understand them to keep herself fromgoing insane, she knows what this feeling is, the scourge of thosewho were innocent children once, the eternal bane of anyone who hasever lived, the muse of so much of the pop songs and poetry thatAuradon Kids produce:

Heartbreak.

Itonly takes her mind a split second to comprehend all of this, but ittakes her hours still to take action, wallowing in her pain, suddenlysympathetic to every single person who has ever claimed or shown thatthey simply couldn’t move on. Night falls, and whereas mostpeople’s weekend plans had either come to a close or were about tobegin, Jane has wasted this particular Saturday with the people andthe society she’s known so far in her entire existence doingnothing.

Andat the stroke of eight o’clock in the evening, she finally hasenough and takes action.

Therewill be many more Saturdays for her, for as long as reality existed,but there would be only so many Saturdays she could spend with Mal.

Sheheads out of her room, and proceeds to break a personal rule of hersand a strong suggestion of her mother by going down the halls atinhuman speed, a sudden, mysterious breeze to all she passes by untilshe goes slow enough for mortal eyes just before she reaches Mal andEvie’s door.

There’sa part of her that says that she should just keep on going, make afull circle around the campus before ending back at her room, goingdown the opposite side of the hallway she always took, but there’smuch more of her that’s tired of the inaction.

Janeknocks.

Evieanswers. She hides her surprise well, but no poker face can match themight of Faerie Empathy. “Jane! Hi! What’s up…?”

“CanI talk to Mal?” Jane replies. “It’s really important.”

Thistime, the facade breaks, if only a little. “She’s out. Probablywon’t be back until past midnight.”

“Oh.”Jane said. “Do you happen to know where she went?”

“Idon’t know exactly, but I’ll bet anything she’s goingtagging,” Evie says.

Janesmiles politely. “Thanks, Evie.” She turns to leave, Evie beginsto close the door.

“Wait!Jane!”

Janeturns around. Evie opens the door again and holds out her phone.“Carlos made a tracker app for all our phones, so we could findeach other in case of trouble,” she says as she shows her just howto access it. “It’s only got half-a-mile or so of range, but it’sbetter than nothing.”

Janesmiles as she takes it, carefully cradles it in her hand. “Thankyou, Evie. I’ll give it back later!”

“Hurryif you can!” Evie said. “I’ll have to take selfies and vlogswith my webcam till then, and there’s only so many angles and shotsyou can make with that.”

“Iwill!” Jane says, before she leaves once more, Evie’s phonecradled safely in her hands.

Shebreaks a different rule as she heads off, a much more serious onethat could land her in jail, but the Guards were not as keen ondetecting rogue magic use as they were back then, and it’s a simplematter to hide the natural gossamer glow and reflective surface ofher wings as she flies, atop the condos and the parks, past thecorporate headquarters and the shopping complexes, beyond theMcCastles and the nigh identical houses of the suburbs, to theforgotten part of Auradon City, the first district and the first everto die:

MarigoldStreet.

Sheflies over old industrial parks with rusting construction equipment,hollowed out factories with boards over the doors and windows andfences around the perimeters, and long-abandoned “affordable”housing with concrete sidewalks cracked, trees long dead if theyweren’t reduced to stumps, and community gardens overgrown andwild.

Thankfully,there are no guards or dogs here, everything of value long salvagedor rotten past usefulness, and whatever technology Carlos had used intheir trackers worked better in the air, where at least one half ofthe signal couldn’t get blocked by the all the inches-thickconcrete and steel everywhere.

Shefound Mal in the middle of spraypainting the side of a warehouse. Theelectricity grid had long decayed and been cut-off by every powercompany in the city aside, but the glow of an LED camping light letMal work and Jane see the design, several paintings in sequence:

Ababy purple dragon, walking along by happily, until it sees a prettybaby blue bowtie butterfly, stares at it in wonder, jumps up into theair, flapping its tiny little wings and hovers beside it for a fewseconds, before it crashes to the ground, right on its tiny scalyface.

Malwas in the middle of blocking out the baby dragon back on the ground,when Jane cleared her throat.

Maljumped, holding up the spraycan like it was a gun, her whole bodytensed and ready for combat, her green eyes narrowed and giving Janethe harshest glare she was capable of. They quickly widened andturned terrified as she recognized who the intruder was.

“Jane?!”Mal sputtered. “How did you--?!”

Janeheld out her hands, Evie’s phone in one of them, the screen turnedout to her. Mal looked surprised, before she slowly, reluctantlyrelaxed her pose.

“… Whatdo you want?” she asked.

“I’msorry,” Jane said. “I’m sorry I took advantage of you andkissed you while you were under the effects of that time stop spell.I know you still probably hate me and don’t want to be friends withme anymore, but I--”

Malheld up her hand. Jane stopped.

“Jane?First up, I don’t hate you for kissing me while I was frozen intime; that’s WAY far from the worst thing anyone’s ever done tome while I was helpless, nor is it something that really rings alarmbells inside my head anymore.  

“Andsecond, I don’t hate you, but I do hate the fact thatyou avoided me like that. I’m the VK here, I’m the onewho’s supposed to be running away from my problems, damn it!”

Janewinces, and hangs her head. “Sorry for that. Again. I promise, nomore running—I want to make things up to you. I want us to befriends again. Or just cool with each other, if that’s as far asyou’ll let me.”

Maltakes a deep breath, and lets it go slowly. “Do you remember thewords for the spell?”

“Ido,” Jane says—it was a trivial task when you couldn’t forgetanything.

Shesays the words to Mal without the deliberate concentration, thechanneling of her magic, or the movements that made bending the lawsof reality as we knew it all the easier, rendering the incantationharmless and inert.

“Thanks,”Mal says, before she raises her hands and quickly casts it.

Whenthe world unfreezes, Jane is suddenly aware of lips pulling away fromher, their owner’s eyes closed.

Malopens her eyes again, none the wiser. “There. Now that’s a coupleof seconds of your life where you don’t know what the helljust happened.”

Janetries to hide her reaction, but she was never one for being subtle.

Malfrowns and blushes. “… Did it not work on you…?”

“Itwore off just as you pulled away...” Jane confesses.

Maltakes in a quick breath through her nose. “Well then. Shit.”

“… Doyou want to try that again—kissing, I mean? Without the time stopspells or the secrecy.”

Malshrugs, uneasy. “I dunno… do you?”

“Yes,I do… so, do you?”

Malthinks for a few seconds. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Sothe two of them awkwardly step up to each other, not quite sure whatto do with their hands so they just keep them at their sides as theylean in closer, closing their eyes as soon as they’re sure theirlips are aligned, and for a brief two seconds, the two of them knowwhat it’s like to kiss the hard and scarred mouth of a VK and thesoft and quivering mouth of a nervous wreck of an AK when both sideswere kissing back.

AndJane had to admit, it was way better than that stolen kisswas.

Theybreak away as they hear one of Evie’s ringtones. It’s from anumber neither of them recognize, which is as good a sign as any thatthey need to return to Auradon ASAP. They stay a while to completethe grafitti on the wall, though, with the last of the sequence ofpaintings:

Thedragon, looking sadly at the bowtie butterfly still up in the air.

Itseyes widening in surprise as the butterfly flutters down to itslevel.

Thetwo of them walking off into the distance, side by side, happy ascould be.

Interestedin financially supporting my writing habit? Consider donating to myPatreon!

[pastelbatfandoms]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? um I drink Soda but I Collect Mugs so...

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lolipops ;)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton Candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Depends on the which one...They’re were nice one’s and then there were The Bitches that threatened to Cut off your hair if you played with it or put it in your mouth while they were teaching...(Yeah that didn’t go over to well with My Mom lol)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Tumblers lol

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Pastel,Goth or Grunge.

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones. earbuds hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows? Shows

9. favorite smell in the summer? idk...Flowers

10. game you were best at in p.e.? None lol um DodgeBall

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Nothing,Sometimes Cereal.

12. name of your favorite playlist? On My Amazon Music it would be The Half God Half Devil one I made.

13. lanyard or key ring? I don’t use either. But Lanyards you can put Pins on so those.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Sweeties

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Dicey’s Song.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with My legs up lol that sounds dirty

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My Black Boots

18. ideal weather? Warm but with a Breeze

19. sleeping position? on My side

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebook

21. obsession from childhood? Sailor Moon

22. role model? Stephanie Mcmahon

23. strange habits? I need a clip to read with

24. favorite crystal? Amethyst

25. first song you remember hearing? Achy Breaky Heart 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Yard sales

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay in lol

28. five songs to describe you? nah too hard

29. best way to bond with you? Have things in common with me lol it’s really easy to begin a friendship with me. Keeping it takes a bit more effort.

30. places that you find sacred? um Native Burial Grounds

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? lol I don’t have one

32. top five favorite vines? I’ve only watched Bat Dad

33. most used phrase in your phone? 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? None I hate Ads

35. average time you fall asleep? Midnight

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? No idea

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Duffel Bag

38. lemonade or tea? Tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? well one of My Male Teachers at one of My Middle Schools was hitting on a student and The Female principal threw a bottle at his head and then he was fired lol. at least that’s what I heard,I wasn’t actually there that day.

41. last person you texted? My BFF

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket 

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? All of the above. But I’ve owned more Cardigans. even though I only have 1 atm.

44. favorite scent for soap? Cupcake

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? PJ pants and a Tshirt

47. favorite type of cheese? any hard cheeses since I’m lactose intolerant

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Watermelon lol idk

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses? 

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands? um soft lol

54. what did you learn from your first job? That I hate 9 to 5 Jobs lol

55. favorite fairy tale? Alice in Wonderland (Grimm versions)

56. favorite tradition? opening one present or our stockings on Christmas Eve.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? My Sister Dying,Living with My Ex and his family,My Dad’s Alcohol and Drug problems.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Dancing,Reading,Acting,Writing.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? hmmm A Magical Girl one but similar to Madoka Magica lol

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to? I can’t think of them rn

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood? Xanga

65. any permanent scars? Yep

66. favorite flower(s)? Rose

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Not a fan of Ramune or Sushi

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? what??

70. left or right handed? Right

71. least favorite pattern? Aztec 

72. worst subject? Math

73. favorite weird flavor combo? 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? depends on where the pain is. I suppose a 5 or 8

75. when did you lose your first tooth? idr

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Fries or Jo Jo’s aka potato wedges.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Coffee though I like neither.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? ID lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? aren’t they the same??

82. pc or console? Console

83. writing or drawing? Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? neither 

84. barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology? Myths

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake? 

91. boxes or bags? Bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy Lights

93. nicknames? Shelle,Shelly or Michie

94. favorite season? Spring

95. favorite app on your phone? You Tube 

96. desktop background? My Kids

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? um one

98. favorite historical era? I’ve been watching Reign lately so I’d have to say The 16th Century even though I don’t think I’d want to live in that era.

Source:

f0r3stg1rl

[goodknightz]

Get to know me better! :D

Rules:  Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 

Requested by:@mewringo13​

Uh... I dont really have anyone to tag... so I’m tagging the majority of my followers x) : @dancemuffndance @kyushaenigma @cpurubyheart @katelynfeliciano @camspazz @goblinneko @angeldrinksgreentea-blog @forsythefrontier @megan-elith @raygirlforeverbe @mxduki @sky-aniu @winterwholocks-superchildren

Ready? Set? Go!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Iced Tea. 2. Phone call: Chinese Take Out x) 3. Text message: My boss asking me to go in early Dx 4. Song you listened to: Schmoyoho’s Love is Like Drugs 5. Time you cried: Umm... I legit can’t remember. I think last time I really cried hard was when my old dog passed away. HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: Not really 9. Lost someone special: Too many ;~; 10. Been depressed : An unbelievable amount of times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only once. I drank way too much when I was venting with my brother. I think I drank half a bottle of tequila by myself. x(((

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blood Red, Royal Blue, Electric Green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I’ve made a couple 16. Fallen out of love: Yeah Dx. But it was my fault for falling in love so easy to begin with. 17. Laughed until you cried: Hmm, I tend to do that a lot when watching videos with friends xD. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Many times at work. They think they’re being so quiet >.> 19. Met someone who changed you : For sure. Any new friend I make changes me, if just a bit ♥ 20. Found out who your friends are: I’ve always known who my friends are. Anyone who i feel is just playing me I just stop talking to. I don’t play around. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah, just one 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The majority of my list. I usually dont add people I dont know unless they know my family or friends to begin with. 23. Do you have any pets: A 1 year old Shi-Tzu and a 30+ year old land Turtle. 24. Do you want to change your name: No. Personally I feel your parents gave your original name out of love. Its disrespectful to want to change it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My family took me out to eat at a buffet, then bought me an ice cream cake. Aside from that just chilled in my room talking to friends online. It was a blast. 26. What time did you wake up: Oh boi... I went to sleep late so I woke up at 1:00pm xD 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with a friend and watching videos. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I’m looking forward to getting the items I bought off amazon. Silver Hair Wax that changes your hair color to silver (easily washes off), Charcoal Toothpaste that apparently whitens your teeth a lot faster than other whitening toothpastes, and a Hario Technica Coffee Syphon x) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today, like 5 mins ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hmm, I used to be extremely shy, so if anything I’d just like to have come out of my shell a bit faster :). 31. What are you listening to right now: Shinedown’s Album The Sound of Madness. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Umm... in real life I actually don’t think so o~o. However I’ve talked to a youtuber called Tom Fawkes Online x). 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People at work are constantly getting on my nerves. Wish there was less drama in the world. 34. Most visited website: Probably Youtube. 35. Mole/s: I’m actually infested with moles xD. None really big, but I do have bunch all over my body, not even I know how many I have xD. 36. Mark/s: Quite a bit of marks. Stretchmarks on my arms and legs from when I used to do weights in highschool. Strethmarks on my stomach from getting tubby. Scars on my arms, legs, and chest from work, soccer, and football. As well as bite marks from when a family dog attacked me. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a dad. Always thought it was rude that my family laughed at it. But when I matured I understood why they thought it was funny hehe x). 38. Hair color: Brown, although it looks black when wet. I’m starting to grow a couple white hairs though x-x... stress plz... 39. Long or short hair: I like my hair short and tidy :) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I do, but I don’t know how she feels about me >.< 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m open minded, rational, caring, and straightforward.  42. Piercings: None 43. Blood type: A+ 44. Nickname: I’ve had many o.o. My family called me teddy bear when I was a kid. When I was in elementary other kids called me Chili since I was from mexico. During my edgy phase on highschool I wanted to be called Zero or Dragon. Nowadays all my friends just call me Bro. xD 45. Relationship status: Single ;~; 46. Zodiac: Leo (leader of the Zodiacs :> hehe) 47. Pronouns: To describe me? He/Him Himself/Myself Someone/Somebody 48. Favorite TV Show(s): Oh god way too many. As far as anime goes I’ve rewatched Slayers like 4 times. As far as actual TV shows, I watched a lot of X-Files and Bones growing up. 49. Tattoos: None. I think they’re very cool. Might get one myself one of these days. Whenever I stop being terrified of needles. 50. Right or left hand: I’m right handed. 51. Surgery: I think I’ve never had surgery for anything. Unless Dental Work counts. I had work done of my front top 2 teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Hmm when I was younger there was a hair gel I was using that would change your hair color to blonde over time xD. Aside form that I kind of wanna dye the front part of my hair red. Felt inspired by Markiplier’s many color changes xD 53. Sport: As a kid I played a lot of Soccer and American Football. Aside from that I really loved swimming. 54. ??? This number was missing so... let me invent one. Random interesting fact about yourself, go!: I never studied much in high school and still passed as an AB student. xD   55. Vacation: The last real vacation I had was going to San Diego a year ago to visit a friend and go to Warped Tour x) 56. Pair of trainers: I actually had no idea what this meant so I had to look it up Dx. My favorite type of running shoes have been my Puma Reverbs

MORE GENERAL : 57. Eating: Cookies 58. Drinking: Still Iced Tea xD 59. I’m about to: Go get ready and go out to eat some Ramen and Sushi x) 61. Waiting for: 5 o clock so that Nama Ramen Opens  62. Want: To win the lottery so I don’t have to worry and enjoy life as it was meant to... But more realistically I want a better job so I can afford to do different things. 63. Get married: For sure. I want to make someone very happy x). 64. Career: I work as a shift manager at a pizzeria. However, I want to move up and find something better with the experience I’ve gained working with people. Eventually I want to go back to school to finish my degree on computer programming.

WHICH IS BETTER:  65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs are nice, but kisses are much more intimate ;3 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure. 67. Shorter or taller: Shorter  68. Older or younger: I prefer younger x)  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Hmm... I’d have to say stomach. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive for sure 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship duh. Hook ups are for people who aren’t serious about each other. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Not actually sure. I think hesitant is better over someone that just makes trouble for fun. HAVE YOU EVER : 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes, prefer it over beer. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t own either... but I might have to get glasses soon. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, twice. I didnt feel good about myself for doing it, but I didnt see myself with those people. 78. Sex on the first date: Not likely. But who knows, might be a hell of a date xD. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Hopefully not. 80. Had your heart broken: Oh yeah, multiple times. At this point I’ve just adopted the mentality of doing my best and having no regrets when asking someone out. 81. Been arrested: Never, but I was stopped once for speeding. (a whole 5 miles per hour more... thanks rando sheriff, I thought it was BS but I wasnt gonna argue with the cop) 82. Cried when someone died: Yes and No actually. Theres been so many deaths around me that hearing about someone I knew dying doesnt affect me as much. Its just part of life. I’m sad that they’re not around anymore, and I’ll miss them very much. But its just a part of living. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah... x3 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yeah, if I dont believe in myself who will. 85. Miracles: Depends on what is meant by miracle. I believe in multiple efforts made by everyone to make something happen, over something like divine intervention. But regardless yes, I do believe miracles can happen. 86. Love at first sight: Although its very rare and not likely to work out, I do like to believe that it can happen between people that live in the moment. 87. Santa Claus: Of course! Not in the concept of the old man spreading gifts across the world in those who believe in him, but more on the idea that if you’re good and behave all year long, a day where you get rewarded for all that effort exists. 88. Kiss on the first date: If the date went well and the mood is right, I dont see a problem with receiving/giving a kiss. But its not something that should be expected as a standard.

OTHER : 90. Current best friend name: My friends JusticeRider and Grayfox07, because they’re always there for me. Honorable mentions are Fiona and Hannah :) 91. Eye color: Milk Chocolate :3 92. Favorite movie: Thats a good question. If we go by whatever movie I’ve rewatched the most, It’d have to be Space Jam since I watched it a lot as a kid. However, the latest movie I watched and enjoyed was Gantz: O. Had a lot of fun watching it with my friend Grayfox xD.

[shovelthefries]

🅰️ll 🅾️f theⓂ️

1: Namealex2: Agetwenty one pilots minus three3: 3 Fearshaving to install ubunturunning out of gaseverything on my hard drive getting corrupted, because that would mean reinstalling ubuntu 4: 3 things I lovedogs, drones, and bikes!5: 4 turns onconfidence, really good hair, a ticket to PyCon 2018, mccree6: 4 turns offwhen someone presses the power button again, all four of them7: My best friendhigh exarch turalyon8: Sexual orientationbi(cycle)9: My best first datewhat counts as a date10: How tall am Ifive even, i'm pretty useful in the home depot lumber section11: What do I missbeing in the robotics shop12: What time were I born6:12 pm, an unholy number 13: Favorite colorbloo14: Do I have a crushi think so 15: Favorite quote"everything dies, baby that's a factbut maybe everything that dies some day comes back"16: Favorite placeanywhere that i can pass out on17: Favorite foodnoodles, but also i had a really good brisket sandwich at my dad's place today it was like a healthy burger18: Do I use sarcasmno not at all19: What am I listening to right nowatlantic city by bruce springsteen the boss20: First thing I notice in new personif i can take them in a fight 21: Shoe sizesix but if you pay me, i can go up to a twelve 22: Eye colorbrown, apparently one that is abnormal for asians23: Hair colormidnight caramel24: Favorite style of clothingmessy, it's actually the new fad25: Ever done a prank call?no because i lose my shit in the first five seconds27: Meaning behind my URLits what i called the cheval de fries defense in 2016 because I'm Funny28: Favorite movieterminator 2 probably29: Favorite songthunder road but if it wasn't springsteen i'd probably say wish you were here/the final cut by pink floyd or read my mind by the killers. but listen that's like making me choose between my children30: Favorite banduGH what did I just say, pink floyd is up there i guess31: How I feel right nowtired, headachey, racing against hypothetical julia in answering this ask32: Someone I lovealleria windrunner33: My current relationship statustaken like bacon34: My relationship with my parentsits gotten better for sure35: Favorite holidayfourth of july because its warm36: Tattoos and piercing i havei'm bare and unstabbed37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti probably want a tattoo but idk what38: The reason I joined Tumblrprobably pjo fanart39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?well i certainly don't hate them40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get steaks, uchicago kid tells me good night after his last lame bot game of league41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?don't think i've kissed joseph42: When did I last hold hands?today, a few hours ago43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?not long if you don't count actually getting up44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?what is hair45: Where am I right now?my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?either emma or art major au hanzo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?well i like having working eardrums 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?hell yeah i do49: Am I excited for anything?really excited to go to work and have no one be there tomorrow50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?yeah 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?i'm always wearing a fake smile52: When was the last time I hugged someone?probably today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?depends on the situation 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?probably not i'd cut it off by now55: What is something I disliked about today?the rain was being a dickhole56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?i think we already know the answer57: What do I think about most?what i should be doing58: What’s my strangest talent?i have no talents 59: Do I have any strange phobias?yeah 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i prefer to eat the camera61: What was the last lie I told?"dark souls is a good game"62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i hear carrier pigeons are making a comeback63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts? possible. aliens? yeah.64: Do I believe in magic?yeah i exist65: Do I believe in luck?no but my moms superstitions has made me paranoid of it66: What's the weather like right now?shitty and wet 67: What was the last book I've read?inheritance, again68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?not really69: Do I have any nicknames?alex is a particularly infamous one70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?either when i burned myself or when i found out my ubuntu installation didn't come with backlights71: Do I spend money or save it?hmmmmmm72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?i can touch my lip with my tongue 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yeah there's my pink work shirt74: Favorite animal?tiger75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably vacuuming76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Adobe Experience Manager77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?born to run 78: How can you win my heart?tolerate me79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?"please rez me"80: What is my favorite word?pachyderm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblruh i dont even know the blog names anymore 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?good night i am sleepy83: Do I have any relatives in jail?probably some in china84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?flying like a stealth drone, so that i go at supersonic speeds and i'm also invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?"have you been giving it your all"86: What is my current desktop picture?an alliance human and an orc duking it out87: Had sex?ye88: Bought condoms?no89: Gotten pregnant?pregnant with my dreams!!90: Failed a class?not officially91: Kissed a boy?almost92: Kissed a girl?i believe so93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?its happened i think94: Had job?many job95: Left the house without my wallet?not recently since i got my license96: Bullied someone on the internet?i don't have the time for that97: Had sex in public?nope98: Played on a sports team?robotics is a SPORT FOR THE MIND99: Smoked weed?first where would i get it100: Did drugs?nop101: Smoked cigarettes?n o p102: Drank alcohol?the ask meme got me there, yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i don't think i could live104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?yeah 106: Been to a wedding?no 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?try ten hours108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?hm no109: Been outside my home country?yes #worldtraveler110: Gotten my heart broken?when the assassins creed revelations trailer came out and it ends with ezio's aged face being revealed i started crying111: Been to a professional sports game?that's too much112: Broken a bone?the bone that held my happiness113: Cut myself?nopee114: Been to prom?i had a date with my calculus workbook 115: Been in airplane?yes unfortunately 116: Fly by helicopter?no but it will happen117: What concerts have I been to?none concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?hm idk119: Learned another language?yeah technically 120: Wore make up?i prefer my ugly vanilla look thank you very much121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?i guess yeah 122: Had oral sex?never performed it 123: Dyed my hair?like a phoenix, and then a passionate robotics member124: Voted in a presidential election?i was basically a baby in the eyes of the law before i could125: Rode in an ambulance?noooo126: Had a surgery?once as a baby, now as a mature adult who needed their wisdom teeth taken out127: Met someone famous?hell ye128: Stalked someone on a social network?nichols before i became friends with him129: Peed outside?very likely130: Been fishing?yeah it was fun131: Helped with charity?yeeee132: Been rejected by a crush?this implies that i take initiative133: Broken a mirror?twice due to somersaults134: What do I want for birthday?a cd with all my spotify music burned onto it