#full time university student doing video game art

[ohmytomorrowisthursday]

AOT characters in university

Hiii this is my first post like this. It is literally so unserious and silly please don’t take it personally if I roast ur fave. Some of these are soooo dumb but I hope u enjoy! 

cw: drugs, weed, drinking

Floch: this dude is 100% in a frat. The guy who stands at the door decides who gets in. For the boys in absolutely every possible way. Has punched multiple holes through walls. Doesn’t talk in class, if he does his whole personality is based on being a frat boy for life. Finance major. Always wants to be ‘devil’s advocate’ in class debates. Says edgy shit just to get a rise out of people. Scared of Erwin. Posts thirst traps on instagram. Is part of the boxing club. Has never read a single page of any text book ever, just watches YouTube videos to learn. 

Connie: You meet him during freshman orientation and he is now your ride or die. He’s outgoing and makes friends easily, but would 100% rather spend Friday nights playing video games and smoking weed with his friends instead of going to a party. Calls his mom often. Studying accounting because he wants to have a stable job. Makes lo-fi tracks and posts them on YouTube. Skips his morning classes because he refuses to get up for his 8am’s. He won’t plan anything but is always a good time when he comes out. Loves going for Korean barbecue. Loves watching reality tv and talking about it in the group chat.

Jean: Certified stressed and depressed. Definitely studying comp-sci even though he’d rather be in the arts. Is in your English class and even tho he complains about the work he still would rather write essays than look at his coding. Talks so much shit about the frats, still tried to join and never stops talking about them. Will  get into a fight with Eren during frosh week.  His mom also calls him all the time but he gets super embarrassed when she does. Brings all of his laundry home over break so that she can do it. Jean is always looking for a good time, he’s definitely planning nights out and trying to get the full college experience. Something embarrassing always happens when he goes out on the weekend and Connie and Sasha always make sure to remind him of it. The person you’d call for advice when you’re having a bad day.

Levi: Sick of it and annoyed. Philosophy major. Always debates in class and wins. You met him through Hange. You see him at the gym super late at night, between 11pm-1am when no one else is around. Hates big parties- especially frat parties- but always will text u asking how it is and if you want to leave. He likes to cook and invites you to come over to eat. Likes dressing nice for class. Uses black mechanical pencils and exclusively takes notes in black muji notebooks. Likes dark humour and will only talk in the group chat to add some sarcastic remark. Always drinking tea (duh) out of the same reusable mug. Likes going to low-key gatherings with his friends and playing card games and chess. Volunteers for the student food bank. Makes Spotify playlists. Has insomnia and will answer every and all texts you send, no matter what time it is.  LOVES to talk shit and roast people who he thinks are elitist, mean and hypocritical, especially Zeke. Works as a TA and is always busy and grumpy, but his friends keep him sane.

Historia: Wants to be a veterinarian. Quiet but kind. Has a really aesthetic instagram and is always posting cute coffee shops and pictures of her pets. Her girlfriend Ymir is literally the opposite of her and they both make u laugh. You sit beside her in class because she has a gentle chill vibe and always has extra pencils to give you. Offers you gum. Would give you a tampon if u needed it. Not really in any clubs but you see her studying at cafe’s and she always says hi. 10/10 sweetie. Knits in class.

Eren: President of the frat. He doesn’t even know how he ended up here but now he’s the guy. Kind of nice when he’s alone or in class but an absolute dick when he hangs out with the boys. Gets everyone at the party fired up. His girlfriend and his best friend are so nice. Wants to be a CEO, has no idea what his business will be. Wakes up early to go to the gym and never stops talking about it. Undefeated in Catan and Risk. Secretly a reddit lurker. You helped him study for biology once and he was actually very nice to you. Invites you to the frat parties on the weekend, but doesn’t really talk to you when you go. Loves karaoke and will always find a mic to sing into wherever he is and always picks Britney Spears songs lol. 

Hange: SCIENCE MAJOR. Literally the most outgoing person you’ve ever met. Befriends you in biology and helps you study. Has so many niche interest and friends from each of their hobbies. Brings all of their friends together to hang out and its the most random group of people you’ve ever seen, but everyone still gets along. Encourages you to go to the gym, and is always hitting legs. Definitely signed up for some sports leagues; is in co-ed soccer, basketball and softball. Athletic and smart. Wants to be a marine biologist to understand life under the sea and could talk about it for hours. The person who would drag you from your depression hole after finals season. In 4th year but knows people of all ages. So nice; you miss them when they graduate. 

Sasha: Environmental science major. Loves nature and is part of a hiking club. Smokes weed and makes the most delicious sandwiches ever. Always hanging out with Jean and Connie, loves playing smash bros. Gets along with absolutely everyone and is invited to everything because she’s the most fun. Is so good at beer pong and always wins tournaments. She has the craziest stories. Gives u a sweater for no reason, she’s just the type to do it. Goes on runs every day and has a dog at home that she misses soooo much. Comes back from winter break and gives everyone cookies. Not really the type to date but everyone has a crush on her. Sends the funniest memes to the group chat. FaceTimes you with a wild story while she’s walking across campus. Always has snacks in her dorm room. 

Erwin: Law student that has a degree in political science. Active member of the student society and always trying to get better food in the dining hall. Is your tutor and is sooooo nice. Gives u advice on how to make it through university. You could ask him any question and he would be able to help you. Likes to read. Him and Armin are your late night library friends. Loves to talk about deep random scenarios with you. Drinks black coffee and he’s muscular but you’ve never seen him eat. Is too busy trying to network in the legal field to go out to parties, but when he does he’s always the most popular person there. Used to be an athlete but doesn't really talk about it. Would walk you home from a bar to make sure you get home safe. Has no tolerance for bullshit and is ruthless to mean people; you’re happy that he is your friend. Would send you book recommendations to read over the summer. Plays chess with Levi. 

Mikasa: Her major is undecided. You meet her at the gym. She always works out late and is seemingly only ever studying or doing her daily circuit. Isn’t outgoing but is nice when approached. Not really into parties or big events but will come out for dinner or go on a walk with you after class. Her boyfriend is the president of the frat and they couldn’t be more different but she still loves him and says that he is a sweetie with her. Loves it when pet-a-dog day comes around. Enjoys spending time in the women’s centre on campus. She tells every girl that she meets that if they ever need help they can call her and she means it. The frat guys are terrified of her. Has an instagram with two pictures and they’re both of flowers. Likes collecting tiny figurines. Plans self-defence classes for the girls. 

Reiner: Bruh Reiner is 100% that transfer kid who still wears his old universities hoodie EVERY DAY. History major and way too into WWII. Likes to read for fun. Loves bears and will send you the cutest tiktoks. Look like he could kill you - is a cinnamon roll. Sad boy energy and loves to watch rom-coms. Listens to emo music and Kpop while he's working out. He knows where the best lookouts are. Likes older women lol. He loves going for all you can eat wings. Will have the highest grades in the class but never seem to actually study. Wants to be a teacher. Likes painting nice little pictures. Does yoga. 

Armin: Another day-one friend. You meet him in your math class and the two of you get through it together. He is kind and always remembers stories that you tell him. Loves going to arcade bars and doing anything that involves a challenge. Engineering student. Loves to solve riddles and play Zelda. Watches the planet earth series and sends you facts that he learns about animals. Knows when the next meteor shower is happening and will drive the friend group out to go stargazing. Is doing a study abroad in a different country so that he can learn a new language and see things from a different perspective. Despite being more shy and reserved, he is an absolute riot when drunk and makes everyone dance with him. He always brings the best snacks to late night study sessions.

Zeke: Philosophy major and literally will take whatever side of the argument Levi is against. Fighting with strangers on twitter and believes his opinion is always right. Will give you his opinion about your life even if you don’t ask for it. TA’s a class and is ridiculously hard on everyone when he’s grading papers. Hot and popular but emotionally unavailable because of his daddy issues. Wants his PHD mostly just to flex lol. Is on the baseball team and is always fidgeting with his hands. Has expensive taste in food and likes craft beer and nice wine. Has broad knowledge but its not deep. Wears boujie clothes and has a nice backpack. Prefers backpacking over staying in hotels because he thinks it is more ‘authentic’. Can speak multiple languages. Loves writing silly notes on your papers. Says that he is too good for the frats but still is there with Eren and Floch every Friday night lol. 

[onegirllis]

So, about the new LIS trailer

It took me some time, but forgive me for the delayed response. I had to dig myself out of the fandom grave to actually look around and notice what the hell was going on. I spent another moment pondering if I still care, and with the answer "barely," I came here to write this post.

1) For whatever reason DickNein (yes, I didn't miss the scandal, who is the nazi now?) still doesn't understand what made LIS 1 so successful. It wasn't the diversity; it wasn't the same copy-paste lines; it wasn't the murder; it wasn't the superheroes from small towns with different powers. It wasn't even the lesbians (I know, shocking!). There were merely a few elements that made LIS special: - Magical Arcadia Bay with its residents - The rewind time superpower, which was one of the best mechanics in narrative games since the genre was born - Max, Chloe, and Rachel (not necessarily in that order), and you need at least two to make it work, preferably with Chloe at least somewhere there. - the specific art style and saturated colors (butchered a bit in BTS but then going full SIMS 4 for the rest of the games) - and most importantly - the soul Sure, DontNod could get away with alteration, to no fanfare and sometimes to no success, but their experiments came from the right place. This shit ain't it.

2) For whatever reason, Chloe is now a dog. I know. I know. I understand. Listen, my fellow comrades, I know how it feels when the devs pull put shit like, "Oh, they were just friends and grew apart, but now she named her squirrel after the love of her high school life".

3) Max had plastic surgery. She also decided to be entirely anonymous so that she looked like everyone else. Every model looks the same, and I hope they will have their names spelled above them as they walk around. Otherwise, I have no idea who is who. Frankly, she looks a little bit like Steph had a lot of fun with the entire cast of Sims 4 and then had a baby.

4) On top of everything, the new Max, however, probably now goes as Maxine, is teaching her Polaroid skills at a university. Now we know we are in an alternative universe all along. I hope the tuition matches the useful photography skill set you obtain there.

5) For any other reason unknown, she can dress up as Chloe, who can be dead (see the Ultimate edition). I know Max has a long tradition of dressing up as dead people, but I hoped it would go away with her Botox and other plastic corrections. But hey, we survived Chloe dressing up as Rachel and cosplaying as her dad, too, so I guess I shouldn't even be surprised. Not that it's a low-budget movie, and they have a limited wardrobe. It's a video game, but the tradition of having a mental stroke is still strong.

6) Oh no, another murder I gotta solve! I shall use my powers. Why now? Is it another girlfriend who is into printing photos? Or is it her student? Or both? Max becoming Jefferson would be a nice twist, even if not loved among the community, but I don't think it would get anywhere that dark. It just will get stupid.

7) This is supposed to be a fanservice a little too late and on the wrong foot. I know y'all missed Max. I didn't, but I understand the hype on seeing her on the screen. Although following a teenager in Arcadia Bay was interesting, simply by the shot of nostalgia with every step, here we are following a middle-aged single art teacher (or someone who looks middle-aged to the point that they decided on fixing their face). NO ONE WANTS TO FOLLOW THEIR ART TEACHERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

8) The Nazi problem (well, well, well, the turntables). I know DeckNein had to do some cleanup among their staff. I hope they did, but somehow, I doubt it was done for the right purpose. Therefore, I'm uncomfortable giving them any of my money, now or ever. I know, there are worse studios. I know it's stupid, but LIS was always special, filled with this little genuine spark. It just doesn't feel right.

9) The game has the worst UI in the history of modern gaming.

10) And to finish my rant on something even worse, LIS4 is coming just before DontNod's new game, most likely to compete with it on the market. A bit sus, don't you think?

Anyway, dick move, my friends. All of it. Actually, waving dicks around in the air all along. Despite our differences, this ain't right. And God knows how much worse it could be.

[lutrainman]

Been wanting to create some quick profile pics, but I haven’t really fleshed out all main and supporting and chatizens. For now, I’ll give you the main. Still haven’t gotten all the other chatizen profiles done. Nor do I plan to in the future.

warning lots of profiles to skim through. Not all of them are fleshed out.

Terrence E. Coyote (middle name Egnacio)

ChibiRoom handle: Techy-mancer2772

Age: 25

Species: Anthro Coyote? (his dad hasn’t confirmed if he’s part wolf)

Close colleagues call him Terry. His friend Rev will call him Ter (pronounced Tear, as in “tear it all up”). Youngest prodigy in science and engineering. Already 2 PhD and current researching scientist at Acme Technical University. Has been going through a shut-in gremlin phase about 4~6 months ago.

He just finished up his last contract deal that has freed him from college debt, especially after the debacle involving an undergraduate intern. So he’s gone into a pseudo-gremlin mode by indulging in all of the nerdy stuff he’s deprived himself of; including anime, cartoons, shows, movies and video games, personal sci-fi prop making, reading books, comics, graphic novels, and going to sci-fi or comic conventions.

Terrence is an introvert by choice and isn’t very social. So he’s socially awkward, and tries to hide it behind a professional facade. Unfortunately, he comes off as standoffish, aloof, and a bit arrogant. Only because he holds himself to a high standard in the pursuit of science and using science for good things. Has a few inventions and breakthroughs tied to him. But he’s best known to be a collaborator, despite how obsessive he is with research and the details.

Joined “Retro-tech�� chibiroom since he has grown up retro-fitting or making old tech work.

Creon Gilead

Age: 24 (going on 25 eventually)

Species:Publicly Human. Latent Mutant status hidden for now

Sous-chef and assistant manager to the Leghorn building cafe that she started when she first worked as a barista at the coffee bar. Also overworks a lot with side hustles, her main job, and community/volunteer work. Loves motorsports, hover-board racing, roller skating.

Adrenaline junkie and adventurous. Quite reckless and has a YOLO mentality. She tries to keep an open mind to new experiences. She’s multi-lingual due to her life experience and time in the military, and living in the Crater. Her life hasn’t been kind, and she is both lucky and unlucky with whatever wild scenarios that happen near her. Creon is a glass-half-full type of girl who always strives to be the best version of herself. Which means doing her best to be kind in a cruel world.

Despite trying to be honest and true, she’s a bit cagey about her past. Nearly abstained from dating/romance for 2 years. Until Terry literally fell into her lap one night on the train. She’s unaware that the chatizens of the Retro-tech Chibiroom refer to her as “Snow White.”

Revel R. Runner (middle name Reginald)

Age: 24

Species: Anthro Roadrunner

One of the undergrad students who got lucky with interning under Terrence, despite Terrence’s vehemence against taking on another intern. Goes by Rev most of the time. He prefers it. Rev was the only one to pull Terrence out of his shell, most of the times. Rev is the only one who can keep up with Terrence, or at least understand him when they work together. And Terrence is able to keep up with Rev’s speed-talking. Rev has made it his mission to keep Terrence from becoming a cyborg in the possible future. Rev thinks Terrence needs to live a little and not let science be the sole reason for existence. Also works as a researching scientist and engineer alongside Terry.

Alex Bunny

ChibiRoom handle: Black-Ace-Kazma

Age: 24

Species: Anthro Bunny

Works as one of the personal trainers and instructors at the Acme Tech campus gym and recreation center. Later on, Alex will become Terrence’s personal fitness coach. Also someone who likes to watch really old school movies or films.  He’s a martial arts nut so he has an old collection of Kung-fu film dvd/blu-ray sets. These were passed down from either an old relative or grandfather. Some even on VHS cassettes. So Alex also knows how to use antique projectors, VHS, DVD & Blu-ray players. Later on, Alex will figure out Techy-mancer and Terry are the same, but won’t reveal this at all. He silently enjoys the shitshow and continues to encourage Terrence with the pursuit of personal and physical growth. Alex sometimes does some stunt work for films or tv.

Lexi Bunny

ChibiRoom handle: Loola_Honey55

Age: 23

Species: Anthro Bunny (distant cousin to Alex Bunny)

One of Creon’s besties. Met Creon when they were both auditioning for TV extras. Marketing Research specialist for a fashion company that caters to anthros. Lexi is gregarious, ambitious, and quite bubbly. But Lexi can also be ambitious, hard-working, and introspective when she needs to be. On spare time she takes care of her plants, tiny garden, and streams playing video games. She’s also a fashionista who likes to take thrift-store clothes and fix/spruce them up for herself. Lexi joined chibiroom asking for advice on integrating old consoles, emulators, or stream setup. But mostly the video games, since she likes to explore old-school games ranging from late 90s, and early 2000s. Plus, she likes some of the older consoles and games.

Ripley R Runner (middle name Roland)

ChibiRoom handle: RippingW!r3z226

Age: 22

Species: Anthro Roadrunner

Rev’s younger brother. Moderator of the Retro-Tech Chibiroom. Actually working on his own apps and software in spare time. Secretly wants to get approval from dad and take over family business. Due to a lot of time in the Retro-tech chibiroom, he’s made a few programs, mods, and even inventions to help the group. Has tested them out. Lexi was the first guinea pig to test out programs or plugins for her stream and video game setup. Rip may seem slow-speaking, quiet, and aloof, but he’s just as smart as his big brother. Maybe even smarter, especially in certain departments. Rip has that perfect balance of being business savvy, entrepreneur, and software engineer and inventor.

Tina Russo

Age: 26

Species: Anthro Duck

Another one of Creon’s besties. Met Lexi through Creon. They too are besties. Tina is down-to-earth, blunt, feisty, and street-smart. Tina can be brutally honest, especially during the early days of befriending Creon. It’s thanks to Tina that Creon started developing a no-nonsense attitude and was able to set boundaries for herself. Family came from Italian immigrants. Does construction work in modular housing. Has always liked building stuff as a kid. Helped her dad out a lot in his plumbing and handyman work. Has a degree in architecture. Transferred to Acmetropolis from home in New Jersey to work with a real estate company that is undertaking a city renovation project.

Daniel Duck

ChibiRoom Handle: Duck_Dodgers_livedangerous

Age: 24

Species: Anthro Duck

Is kind of a pessimist and a conspiracy nut. He’s really paranoid about how the government is using current technology as surveillance. A bit short-tempered and comes off as delusional or egotistical. Deep down he’s just a lonely, insecure guy who got done dirty by the child foster system. So he’s had to grow up a bit street-smart and cynical. The “Retro-tech” chibiroom is the only place he sometimes finds solace in and the first place he consults in regards to retrofitting some old gadgets to work. That and he’s kind of a lonely duck trying to cope with his unfulfilling mundane life.

Samuel D Tazman (middle name Denver)

ChibiRoom handle: Slam-Taztic-devil

Age: 28

Species: Anthro Tazmanian Devil

A local wrestler who works in construction work and welding during the day. Sam is actually chill and respectfully polite in real life, which tends to clash with other people’s perception of Tasmanian Devils. Sam is very fond of good food and happens to know which local food venues are best. Joined “Retro-tech” chibiroom for adapting some tech for his big hands.

Oberon_Maestro67 (chatizen)

Species: Human

A music enthusiast, musician, and loves performing or going to music concerts. Absolutely hates the idea of AI music overtaking normal organic music. Has offered a lot of audio tech integration advice and music recommendations.

T!meSk!pper136 (chatizen)

Species: Human

About high-school senior who’s kind of lonely but loves making models and gunpla or making robots for bot-fighting. Lives with grandpa, who is an acclaimed professor and expert on theoretical physics and time. For now, he takes solace in the Retro-tech chibiroom.

Sylphair375 (chatizen)

Species: Human

A bitter, pessimist who seems to like being a naysayer and bringing up the worst case scenario. Is actually a recovering athlete who is bitter about how his athlete career barely started after a bad accident and injury.

Cloudy-chance-185 (chatizen)

Species: human

Currently a news anchor intern working under Misty DeBreeze. Actually went to school to study weather and meteorology. Part of a small collective of volunteer weather watchers collecting local weather data for climate change studies.

Massivechad305 (chatizen)

Species: human

Just a guy trying to go straight while living on parole. Had been jailed for some time for burglary. Participating in a new parole rehab program which was experimental and difficult. Joined chibiroom to get help and resources for retro-fitting tech that accommodated his size. Doing odd-end jobs here and there. Training to get a welding license.

Wac-gran20K (chatizen)

Species: human

Creon’s next-door neighbor, enjoying her well-earned retirement with her pet canary, Tweety. She’s already aware that Creon is “Snow White” that everyone in the Retro-tech Chibiroom chat likes to talk about. She just chooses to not reveal this secret and just watch the drama unfold. Granny is the definition of “sweet little old lady.”

Yeah there are other side characters, like Zadavia and others who are also chatizens or just regular citizens living normal lives. But I don’t think I’ll get into them now.

[kagansune]

A Reflection on the Pro Palestine Encampment in Pittsburgh

Over the past few days I've been spending a lot of time at the encampment in Pittsburgh PA. And if y'all would humor me I've had a lot of thoughts floating around in my mind and I wanted to write down my experience.

I'm not super involved in political activism in general. I find it exhausting to think about how terrible things are and for my own mental health I tend not to look at the news too much. I had heard that some universities had started encampments. but it wasn't until Friday I learned there was one a bus ride away from where I lived. On Friday I woke to a text from a friend that said "hey there's a rally for Palestine here, you should come if you can they need bodies."

While I am not such a fan of talking the talk super loudly. I am absolutely a fan of doing. So I went and bought snacks and Gatorade and hopped on a bus. When I got there I was surprised to see a snack tent FULL of donations. I saw people who had been there for days and some people who got off the bus when I did.

I didn't anticipate an Encampment, All I heard was rally, but after the rally, and after the march I stayed as long as I could. I heard that the mayor's office sanctioned it till Monday. Then I went home fed my cats and played video games.

Saturday I came back. This time I brought a large bag of painting supplies, a sketchbook and a reading book. I didn't know that there actually activities planned for the day. I came in and there was a group of 15 or so people mending and had sewing in the middle of camp. I sat down next to them and began to paint.

Over the next few hours as I painted. I painted the encampment. people came and went. News crews came and went, each with a camp warning to put on masks if you didn't want to be identified. And different professors came and lead discussions. Some on topics I understood. Some that truly enlightenment me and changed my thinking. There were counter protestors but they were peaceful, and the organizers made sure of it to.

When I finished the painting I gave it to the organizers and they asked if they could auction it off for fundraising. I said yes. I don't know if that's what will happen. I hope it is, but even if it's not, it's in the hands of the people who built what I painted. They deserve it more than anyone.

After the last of the lectures and chants and sing-a longs. I went home. I sat on my couch in silence for what must have been an hour or two. But my mind was not silent, I listened to the music of their chanting, the wind in the trees, the desperation in their voices, it rang in my ears even as I went to sleep.

Sunday (today) When I got to the camp the sun was high in the sky and people were frantically moving tarps to make shade and getting ice and water. I had come with my art supplies again but today I did not use them. Today I helped the camp function. I participated in discussions. I made shade. I asked organizers how I could be of use.

When the rally and the march came the 30 some people who were there when I arrived had turned into over 100. maybe even 300. I'm not sure. The police blocked off the block and stood at the ready. We heard speeches from Palestinians, from Jewish students, from Organizers with no affiliation at all. And the diversity of the crowd... age, race, religion. I have never seen a greater rainbow of humanity in my life.

Part way through the march I went back to camp to drink water. I put myself to work with the other 10 or so people left to guard it. we organized the food and medical tents. we ran water out to the marchers. we got dinner from a donors car and brought it in.

When I left to go home they were still out there, a hundred strong standing and chanting in front of the cathedral of learning. mind you, 2 hours had passed since the rally had begun.

I was home 10 minutes when I heard the riot police had shown up.

I thought to earlier in the day. There had been a seminar on what to do if you get arrested. I was only half paying attention during it. I remember talking to the person next to me. we both planned to leave our phones and water bottle at camp, but even so, we doubted we would get arrested. I wonder if she's okay right now.

I walked to the grocery store, I brought my headphones but I didn't use them. My head was still filled with the noise, the chanting, the crying, the desperation. but also the joy, the love, the hope. I see the university students strong and hardened in their stance. I see the professors and older community members crying with pride and pain, knowing what comes next. A hundred painting I could make fill my head. I listened the music of the wind in the trees as I saw the Cathedral of Learning standing tall in the distance. A beacon of contradiction.

Disclose. Divest. We will not Stop we will not Rest.

Disclose. Divest. We will not Stop we will not Rest.

From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be Free.

From the Sea to the River, Palestine will Live Forever.

I hope they're ok.

I hope they will all, be okay,

[learningnewways]

Church Visit

This week there was another public holiday... Two in one week?! Yep, it’s a bit crazy... It feels like we just start building momentum with joining the team and then there’s another day off or it’s the weekend... It’s frustrating but there’s not much we can do about it. Over the weekend, I tried to join in with as much as I could, so on Saturday I went to a university Bible study that one of the Destiny Rescue team volunteers for, and on Sunday we did a tour of the children’s ministry and community campus at ICF.

I felt honoured to join the Bible study, which is run by International Fellowship of Evangelical Christians (IFEC), which in New Zealand is called Tertiary Students Christian Fellowship (TSCF). This particular study was for a group of student leaders who lead their own small groups around campus. It was nice to be together, particularly with other young women, to worship and learn new ways of sharing the gospel. They asked me lots of questions and I was able to be an encouragement to them, which was awesome. I felt very welcomed and like I was part of the team. It’s really surprised me how open, friendly and welcoming the locals are here in Cambodia. I’ve found it so much easier to connect than in The Gambia, that’s for sure.

On Sunday morning we got up bright and early, and headed to ICF (International Christian Fellowship). They are the church we visited last Sunday, who started the Wake Park next door. We were joining their tour, which meant we got to see all parts of what they do on a Sunday morning, walk through all the facilities, join in some activities, and learn more about their work throughout the week. It was incredible! (A word you’ll see me use many times in this blog post...) The campus is absolutely stunning and it’s hard to believe they have accomplished so much in only ten years. It was a morning full of awe and inspiration.

The focus of the tour was on children’s ministry, which happens on Sunday mornings. We started our tour by jumping on their church trucks, which drive around nearby villages, picking kids up and bringing them to the church. I couldn’t believe it... They sent out around ten trucks, all in different directions, and most came back full of children. I was partnered with one of the church’s many social workers, and we stopped at about ten stops, picking up kids as young as toddlers through to intermediate age. As we approached the stop, kids would be waiting for us, some of them literally jumping up and down in anticipation! It brought tears to my eyes seeing the kids so excited for church. Others would sprint towards the truck as it tooted on arrival. Children chatted away and laughed on the trucks as we drove back to the church, where they were unloaded and signed in.

Around 350 children come to ICF on Sunday mornings, either making their own way to church or being picked up by the village trucks. That’s a lot of kids! Bigger than a lot of schools! The whole morning was so well organised and ran so smoothly, it was amazing, I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Once the kids arrived, they were given a light snack of bread, fruit and a drink, then they got to have an hour of free time. All around the campus they set up numerous activities from rock climbing to football, hair washing and first aid, to musical chairs and art. So many activities for the kids to choose from and wander between. There was such a good mix of practical things like hair washing and cutting, as well as fun games and crafts.

After their hour free time, the bell rings and the kids go into the main room where they have big moveable stadium seating. The kids do worship and listen to a sermon, maybe watch a live drama or video, and have a game up front. Once the talk is over, they go out into their small groups where they chat about what they learnt in the talk and pray together. Then they all get feed lunch, which is quite the operation! It was so well organised and all went surprisingly quickly and smoothly. Incredible! After lunch the kids go inside for a bit of a wrap up, before heading home on the trucks.

While kids church is on, across the road at the Wake Park is the adults service, which is in Khmer, the local language. There is a Khmer and English service that runs at night, which we went to last week, as well as a youth service on Saturday nights. The whole operation is mainly run by volunteers, over a hundred of them! These volunteers are mainly youth aged and local. They also have all the ICF staff there, including social workers, outreach team, campus staff, educators and maintenance staff, and there’s around a hundred of them too. There is a lot of staff and volunteers, but their community reach is staggering.

While there, we got to walk around the entire campus and learn more about what they do during the week, which was again, incredible! We talked to the head of their social team, who explained the life changing work they do. If families in nearby villages meet certain conditions, such as lack of income, education, basic needs, illness, vulnerability...etc, they can become part of ICF’s program. The team of around 50 social workers, all locals, have about 25 families each that they work with in this program, which makes up 1,250 families, or between 7,000-10,000 people in total. That’s crazy! These social workers spend every day visiting families in their homes, providing support for physical, mental and spiritual needs, hosting small groups, running after school programs... All at no cost for the families. It’s mind blowing.

During the week, the church puts on a free after school program that any child can attend, but they do have to find their own way to the campus. Around 120 kids come every day. The after school program has educators that specialise in Khmer, English, Maths, Music, Art and Bible Studies, and children get to choose two classes to attend each day, which run for around an hour. I believe the children also get fed, but I’m not 100% sure on that. The facilities were epic, so well thought through, planned and executed.

It fascinated and astounded me just how many kids came every Sunday and throughout the week, it absolutely astounded me! In a country that’s over 90% Buddhist, it’s interesting that families here are so open. They are well aware that their children are going to a Christian program and that the social workers helping them are Christians. There is no pressure for the families to themselves become Christians, although of course many do over time. In all the work I’ve seen with Destiny Rescue and ICF, the local people seem overwhelming fine with Christians sharing the Gospel with their Buddhist children. I’m not sure the same could be said for the Muslim dominated Gambia... I think the success is in the way ICF provides such holistic support and is in the community so frequently. They have become a trustworthy and safe place in the community for so many years.

With staff numbers of around 120 and a community reach of close to 10,000 people, I can’t express enough how incredible and inspiring the work of ICF is. And ICF Cambodia has only been around for ten years, with the social team starting seven years ago. Yes, they are bank rolled, with mainly European donors and partner churches funding the 1.5 million NZD per year it takes to keep it running... But our churches in New Zealand spend around half a million a year, hiring only roughly ten staff and reaching maybe 1,000 people? Sure, wages and living costs are much cheaper over here, but man, their local community sure is the focus! And although I’m seeing them now in all their glory, they didn’t start out that way. They were just a normal church plant with missionaries who saw a need and filled it.For things to function so smoothly on a large scale, their systems and processes must be top notch and scalable. You can’t reach that many people effectively without good organisation and communication! They have details on every child that comes to them, files on how many social visits they’ve had, food parcels received, medical checks done...etc. They build such strong and genuine relationships that if a kid is missing for even a few days, someone notices and can quickly check in on them. I’m super organised and admin strong, and it made me say “wow” many times over!

The church has around 20 non-local staff, so foreigners who mainly raise their own funds to be there voluntarily, like most missionaries. We had a lovely American girl Amber showing us around, who’d been there for about three years. We talked about the work of Destiny Rescue and how inspired we were by ICF. Amber is also passionate about human trafficking and hopes to move into that work more specifically over time, but since being with ICF she has realised that their work in the community IS preventing human trafficking. They are so well connected with families, that they catch children who are vulnerable and at risk before they are in danger. They also run seminars that help to educate and prevent exploitation, as well as their sponsorship and after school program which supports education... It really is wrap around support.

ICF Cambodia do so much, is actually a bit overwhelming and unfathomable. I’ve travelled around the world, seen many ministries across New Zealand, and I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Honestly! They cover almost everything you could think of, and if they don’t, they’re working on it! They are extreme visionaries and problem solvers, who get stuff done! I hope and pray they plant more churches with the same community focus in countries that really need it. The Gambia perhaps?

It’s hard not to think of ideas for The Gambia constantly... But also my brain isn’t sure how realistic many things are, particularly when there’s minimal Christians to help run things, zero funding, and a strong Muslim culture who at best kicks children out of families for converting to Christianity... Some ideas are transferable and others aren’t. I wonder what my place is in all of this... As I approach my final week in Cambodia, I can’t help but think about my future. Am I the link between Destiny Rescue and The Gambia? Or even ICF and The Gambia? Am I to support an already existing ministry, or to start my own? Am I even supposed to go back to The Gambia, or stay in New Zealand, bringing new energy and fresh ideas? I don’t know... But I know all my experiences, learnings, challenges and passions can’t be for nothing. Nothing is wasted in God’s Kingdom.

[writingmochi]

(with my own reviews in parentheses)

I posted 133 times in 2022

That's 105 more posts than 2021! (that's why i didn't post my 2021 ver)

62 posts created (47%)

71 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/writingmochi (ofc)

@/sozosnipes (mutual uwu)

@/luhv4won (we banter on their review of my work)

@/s-9in (we banter on their review of my work pt. 2)

I tagged 132 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#ignore the ramble - 24 posts (yes i ramble a lot)

#rsc: time wave - 23 posts (might be more when i finish the soobin spin-off)

#sc: regina - 18 posts (it's probably 21+ if combined with the ones i posted in 2021)

#research update by the moon - 17 posts (yes i update stuff)

#milestone of the moon - 14 posts (so many milestone yas)

#txt scenarios - 14 posts (sorry to the engenes that follow me x5)

#txt imagines - 14 posts

#cs: txt - 14 posts

#txt x reader - 14 posts

#txt fluff - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#we do love feedback :d even though i myself do appreciate likes as well meaning that you've read/you are interested in reading our works (so true bestie)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5 (the comeback after two months, huh?)

chapter v. blue period

cast: grunge kid!yeonjun ✗ art student/painter!fem.reader

synopsis: you’re an out-of-place art student living in your childhood hometown, pursuing your dream of becoming a painter. one day, you were given a mysterious responsibility as you try to not get your childhood best friend killed

genre: coming of age, college/university au, childhood best friend au, supernatural au, angst, fluff, mature content (sensitive topics and explicit smut)

based on: video game life is strange (2013)

word count: 8605

taglist? closed

warning(s): suggestive (a direct continuation of the last episode), nudity, attempted suicide (this is a safe place carrd for awareness and resources, you can reach out to me by anon if you need someone to talk to), blood, mention of bullying, implicit mention of mental breakdown, implicit mention of self-harm (if i forgot some, let me know)

message from the moon: remember that this story is fiction. do be careful and read the warnings at the top as both the chapter and the series as a whole will contain serious and sensitive topics.

thank you for waiting for two months for this chapter. not gonna lie, this is the hardest chapter to write because of the subject matter + gaining the time and right head space to write them down as i want it to focus on the characters and what they’ve gone through to reach there instead of the actions they do. nonetheless, i hope you will like it and if the subject matter is too hard for you, you don’t have to read it…

masterlist

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91 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4 (new episodes coming soon asdfghjkl)

“smirch” episode 1: heeseung

cast: student council president & bad boy!heeseung ✗ friend’s sister!fem.reader

synopsis: lee heeseung was given the responsibility of being the student council president of decelis high. yet, he’s living a double life, being the resident “bad boy” outside of his academic career. well, he can balance them out with the help of a few people with very diverse characters he proudly calls his friends. one day, he found another person joining the group. you, his friend’s younger sister

genre: teen drama, coming of age, slice of life, high school au, fluff, comedy, angst, mature content (drugs, suggestive themes, mental health)

based on: tv shows skins uk; specifically gen 1 banner intro video inspired by series 1′s opening (2007-2013) and skam norway (2015-2017)

word count: 25701 (25.7k)

warning(s): mc has sleep deprivation, mention of parental infidelity, mention of nudity, mention of drugs and consumption of drugs (cigarette and marijuana) (if i forgot some, let me know)

message from the moon: remember that this story is fiction. do be careful and read the warnings at the top as both the chapter and the series as a whole will contain serious and sensitive topics.

hi! i’m so excited to finally be releasing this lmao and i want to say sorry for the delay cause i accidentally delete one part of the story that is final so i had to take more time to rewrite/re-edit that part as good as i can. but hey it’s finally here and very ambitious project indeed. i’ve also opened an ask my character/behind the writing content for this series that you can check out right here. enjoy the messiness!

masterlist

you've always heard the phrase 'the night is young', but surely it goes older as time passes.

colours of blue, pink, and gold embrace the dawn sky as you stroll on the pavement of your neighbourhood from your nightly rendezvous with your friends, feeling all the energy softens in your body after experiencing a whole different part of the universe from your usual teenage life, shedding all the troubles away for a night of fun and freedom. but all of them must end when the hint of the sun peeks from the east.

wrapping your hands around yourself in your thin-layered clothes as you step past the other houses to your home, the make-up on your face smudged from the greasy foods and beverages you consume, your eye-lined eyes smeared and messier than when you put them on the previous night. spring's cold weather greets you with a sudden blow of wind as you cowered for the warmth of your body heat. when you see the silhouette of your destination with the sun peeking behind it, you pick your phone up from your pocket, pressing a speed dial to the only boy you can put your trust in.

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93 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#3 (makes sense cuz the tension between them ughhhh)

chapter iv. twin flames

cast: grunge kid!yeonjun ✗ art student/painter!fem.reader

synopsis: you’re an out-of-place art student living in your childhood hometown, pursuing your dream of becoming a painter. one day, you were given a mysterious responsibility as you try to not get your childhood best friend killed

genre: coming of age, college/university au, childhood best friend au, supernatural au, angst, fluff, mature content (sensitive topics and explicit smut)

based on: video game life is strange (2013)

word count: 7801

taglist? closed

warning(s): mention of drugs (marijuana), alcohol consumption, explicit sex, unprotected sex (be safe!), handjob (m & f receive), oral job (m & f receive), cockwarming (if i forgot some, let me know)

message from the moon: remember that this story is fiction. do be careful and read the warnings at the top as both the chapter and the series as a whole will contain serious and sensitive topics.

probably one of the anticipated chapters of the series (cause it’s getting towards the steamier part). on a serious note, thank you so much for the love and a reminder that you can interact with the characters through beyond the wave! enjoy!!!

masterlist

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98 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2 (the collaboration moa and/or engene never expected)

“what do you think we are?” “me, you, us, all of us. we are stains to society.”

cast: txt and enhypen 01, 02, & 03 members ✗ fem.reader (featuring many other idols)

synopsis: ahh… teenage… people said that those times are the golden years of life. yet here you guys are, being the dirt that smeared it instead

genre: teen drama, coming of age, slice of life, high school au, fluff, comedy, angst, mature content (drugs, suggestive themes, mental health)

based on: tv shows skins uk; specifically gen 1 (2007-2013) and skam norway (2015-2017)

status: episode 1 out now! on an indefinite hiatus

message from the moon: this is fiction and all of the characters in this series are of age. yet, since it is set in a high school setting, there will be no explicit smut, only implications and suggestive contents. can be read as a standalone but all characters will show up starting from episode 1. so, if you’re a sucker for character arcs, i suggest reading from the beginning (just like a tv show) *thumbs up*

taglist? right here

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104 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022 (well freaking deserved *clap* *clap* and still one of my favorite things to write)

cast: jay ✗ fem.reader (ft. enhypen’s 02 line, billlie's sheon (kim suyeon), and other idols)

synopsis: crossroads have always been a part of your life. every zebra crossing you pass, every train interchange you go through, every hallway you walk in on your way to class, every eye you encounter with or without greeting. no one seems to dare to cross your tangled crossroads unless you cross it to meet them on the other side. that is until jay—a candidate for the student council president—has crossed one path with one single chocolate

genre: coming of age, bildungsroman, melodrama, slow burn, slice of life, realistic fiction, romance, high school au, fluff, angst

word count: 39366 (39.3k)

warning(s): self-inflicted harm, blood, explicit description of drowning, mention of bullying, mention of death by suicide

message from the moon: this story is fiction and will also have dialogues in different languages, translation of the dialogue will be put at the bottom of the fic and have numbers at the top to easily refer to. i'm sorry in advance if i got the translations wrong cause i'm still a beginner in the other languages and thanks for the translator app for helping *thumbs up* ! (y/f/n) = your full name. jay and jongseong will be used interchangeably. also, first time writing a (mostly) silent (but active) protagonist yey!

first thing first, welcome back to my blog after my one month+ break! this was supposed to be for jjongssaeng's birthday special one-shot but for reasons stated on my post about myself taking a break, i moved it back to june :] secondly, i wanna thank @orpheyeux cause i got to be introduced to the genre of melodrama (boost to 14 steps and welcome) through her writings or just more genres other than the usual fluff and angst umbrella. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy it!

if this fic has a soundtrack album, it will be this playlist !

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299 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[blog-reflection]

ONE / Twenty Eight - Let Henry Cook

I got home by the next eve. 

Fuck Fuck FUCK. I can’t believe I made such a mistake during the registration. Even worse, no one has mentioned it to me besides the fact that I have been on campus for quite often because of that stupid door. Also everyone knows who I am and most of the teachers are supportive of the lgbtqia+ so I literally don’t get why this was plain left as “yeah this sure is right”. Ugh, okay. Let’s hope I find her in this mess of a registration. Okay, she’s new this year, this levels it down to about 8.000. Judging by what Jesse said and that they are learning together, I assume she’s in some sort of art class. Considering that they do it together I might first check out the Video Games Art and Design field. Okay let’s see…P. Nguyen…where…are you…. Usually I’d say that a name like this pops but since Royal Holloway is an international university it’s kind of tricky to find one specific person. 

HA! FOUND YOU. And I was right, she is in the new years Video Games Art and Design, literally one year under Jesse. So either Jesse teaches her or Jesse is still left off the last year, which could also be true. I see, and I can't believe it. There she is, with the wrong name and gender. Just for safety…where have I got her data from. Ah here we are, Beths Grammar School. Usually this school is very careful with the students' data. Okay, the issue might not have occurred, just let me check…. Yes, that’s exactly what I was afraid of. Back then Petal wasn’t registered by me. After all, I've been doing this job for almost three years leading to her being registered by whoever. That person may not have known, maybe Petal didn’t know herself. After all, she's just nineteen. Well all of that doesn't matter. Fact is, it’s wrong. I don’t know who to blame, maybe there isn’t even one. Alright let’s get Henry here and make this official now. 

While Henry was booting up, I made myself a cup of tea and looked for some music I could listen to. Usually the registration isn’t overly complicated, it’s just a lot of loading time. After all, Henry has to gather all the important information from the UK school cloud. I don’t really know if that’s the official name but that’s what I call it. Once I came back, I streamed Henry's screen on the wall and connected my tablet to the process. There is not really a need in doing that, it just feels a lot cooler when I can look around on my tablet and see everything move on the wall. I preferred a hologram yeah but I’m afraid that by the time I could use it, I’d be already dead. Instead I was able to program something that’s close to that. It’s just a visual mask anyways, just cooler. Everything is coloured in a variety of blue and white hues, a lot of lines attaching things and all. In the middle is the core, from where I can select the region and of course, the school I want to work with. After that I can select the school and get flooded with all classes and or courses, as well as an entire block full of staff members like teacher, headmaster, assistance and facility management. All schools get a unified sheet that tells them what I need in order to set up a student's profile which usually ends in me getting a huge email with all new students. Either it’s their first registration or I get already existing data from an older school they attended, which is the case of Petal right now. She got registered before the sheet was created, since, well I came up with that.I basically spend the entire first year of work to get all schools on the same level. The process of the registration is pretty simple, especially once there is already exciting data of the student. In Petals case it’s really not that hard.

1. Select the province In her case, that would be South East England. 2. Choose your school For SEE that would be about 3848 schools, though I did not do all of them. Some schools did not want to join this conjoined project so these schools are all registered elsewhere, which leaves me to roughly about 1500ish schools to take care of. After that it’s only some moves away to find Royal Holloway 3. Figure out the year and class Easy, first year of the Video Game Art and Design 4. And then, off to find the student you’re looking for.

Once you find them, all you have to do is some drag ‘n drop as well as a quick selection for the gender and boom! Waiting. Yep, now we have to wait at least two hours before the date is fully registered. I tried to make it faster but at this point I’m happy that Henry isn't frying themself. 

While I let Henry cook I decided it would be best for me to check on other schools as well. I noticed that some have small red dots on them, which means that in some places there is an error. Could be anything. A failed access, a support ticket for misinformation, something the teachers or staff want to change, it could literally be anything. Let me get a quick overview. A view of students who quit, not surprising after all it’s past autumn break so still early enough to figure out that you don’t like your course. I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t be able to go to university, I’m just not a learning person. That’s why, after graduation, I got from mini-job to mini-job before Jesse got me here. You’re probably wondering how often Jesse failed in order to still be stuck in university. Thing is, they didn’t fail. They already graduated from English and Creative Writing four years ago but unlike me, Jesse is more the theory type of person. They are a sucker for all mind related things, that’s why they love all creative stuff. I wouldn’t say that Jesse is smarter than I am, we just happened to have different things we’re good at. For Jesse that means being better in everything I wasn't able to but hey who’s counting right? But back to the topic. There is a teacher claiming a ticket about a staff member who got fired and who needs to be killed off the registration and access panel. And apparently one person is writing to me about…the next open days? Already? You have to see, Royal Holloway always offers an open day at least twice a year to give students the chance to see how everything looks and works. Usually that’s a great way but for me that just means stress ass fuck. Why do you ask? Well I have to loosen up most of the doors so all the students can take a look around. Almost everytime after the open day is over, staff and I struggle to get every access to what it was. The problem is in the software, which is not made to store data history. It’s living in the here and now since the storage just can’t support a huge cloud saving all data. Once the data is removed, you have to make it new. And with Henry's speed it takes at least two days to get everything back to normal. So good idea, unless you’re the one who has to take care of everything. Nonetheless, good that they inform me that early so I can try to get at least some kind of backup onto an external storage component. Will it work? Not sure but we can always try right. Anyways, back to Petal. Most of her data is already transmitted, which is good. Now it just has to be registered at her keychain, which should be done once she touches any of the nobs. I think that’s all done for now. I’ve thrown the tablet on my bed and left Henry online so that the data can be transmitted without any issues.  In the meantime I messaged Jesse to keep them up to date and instruct them with a nice way to surprise Petal. 

Usually registered people can’t see their profile, since that is for data safety and only for my and the headmistress's eyes. However since I am the one in charge of all of that I can sometimes play a little with all the codes and programming I can. It’s pretty easy. Inside the Founder Building are a variety of smart info boards that will let any person know where to find a certain classroom, teachers office and so on. However there ain't many of those installed yet, since it’s still in development. But since I am responsible for almost all data I am also taking part in that very developer team. Anyways, I managed to program one of those info points to showcase Petal her new Registration, complete with her face ID Name, age and gender. I’ve chosen the Infoprint with the least amount of people looking at it, which is the one in front of the founders art gallery. People walk in there yeah but since it’s more of a dead end everyone knows how to get in and out. The only thing Jesse has to do is to make sure that petal is touching any of the nobs so the data can transfer and then to instantly take her to the infopoint. All she has to do is hold her keychain against the detector and there we go. Is that allowed? I’m not sure at all. I’m probably walking on edge but if I can make her a nice surprise then I’m sure as hell will do so. And even if someone should read me out, I can still explain myself that I just wanted to surprise her. Most teachers would understand that and support me so I should be fine. 

I just hope Jesse dosn’t fuck this up. I know they don’t mean it that way but Jesse is a very chatty person and often says stuff that could’ve been avoided. They can keep secrets, if they are really personal, but surprises are ready for them. Most of the time they just get so excited that they tell everything purely out of some unrelated context. But, judged by how much Petal means to Jesse, they will keep it a surprise. I mean, it’s still obvious to Petal that they have in fact something they would love to talk about, since Jesse's body language and face sometimes says more than their words but well, could be worse I guess. Nonetheless I am happy I did that, and that Jesse told me. I’m still pissed at the staff though. I can only hope they at least used the right name and that if not, they at least be very sorry now. But well now it’s for me to wait. 

Until then, I hope she likes her little surprise.

[xangellovely]

Virtual Sketchbook 1

One known fact about me is that I can be very shy and sometimes, a little socially awkward, but this is something I am working on. Once you get to know me, I can be very talkative, caring and loving. I am just shy at first. Especially when put on the spot in a meeting or when asked a question. I have been shy since I was a kid, so just bear with me and I will get more comfortable as I get to know all of you! 

      2.

One fact about Kehinde Wiley was that he painted a picture of one of our presidents, Barack Obama. This achievement positively put Wiley into the global spotlight as an artist.

Another fact about Wiley is he received a classical education in art history. Wiley earned his Bachelors of Fine Arts from San Francisco and then his Masters of Fine Arts at the School of Art at Yale University.

Another interesting fact about Wiley is his art engaged with racial politics and activism. This happens through his powerful portraits because he challenged societal norms, stereotypes and advocates for representation.

 A fourth fact about Wiley is that his exhibitions garnered global recognition. The global reach of his exhibitions highlighted the impact his work has on the art scene. 

The final fact that I found interesting about Wiley is that his prints and editions achieve remarkable success. Collectors recognized the value of owning his arts for their visual appeals. As a result of this, his prints and paintings command significant prices at auctions and it regularly exceeds the estimates of the prices as well. 

3.

The way I thought about the art from the first time I looked at it was definitely in a different light. It made me appreciate and even love the piece a lot more after learning about the artist and the dedication and time it took Wiley to make this masterpiece and his other arts as well. What I saw before was just a woman standing there within or in front of a bunch of pretty flowers. Now what I see is a confident/brave woman who is proud of who she is and standing with beautiful flowers. I really enjoyed this art and the things I learned about the artist!

2.  The art that I have chosen is from a video game that my fiancé and I really enjoy. This video game is called Bioshock (2007). What I like most about the art is how the bold colors pop out at you. Such as the blue water that you can see in the picture that is on the buildings and rock formations in the ocean. The media that was used to create this poster was a video game. The use that this poster/picture art serves is that it makes my room look a little more unique. A lot of the art in the game, Bioshock, is really pretty and I am infatuated with everything about it. Especially the art style. I do think the poster in my room is beautiful. It is beautiful because of the blue water and the buildings in the background that are underwater have lights coming out of it. It really makes this art look like a masterpiece in my eyes. 

3. I am 23 years old. I turn 24 on December 13th. I was born on 12/13/2000. I am biologically a female. I am from/born in Rhode Island. My family moved down to Florida when I was about 4 or 5 years old. My ethnicity is white. What I do for fun is mainly play video games with my fiancé and work out at the gym, because staying healthy and fit is important for a long, happy life! I am not part of any organized group. I don’t work as of yet. I am a full time college student. I plan on working at a daycare in July. I am working towards my bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education. What makes me uniquely me is that I am super caring and loving towards everyone that I meet. If anyone ever needs anything, I am always here for them. I am also extremely shy and it is hard to get me to come out of my shell. These are all the important things about me.

4.

[altercontrollerproject]

EGX/UOS trip

EGX:

EGX, or the Eurogamer Expo, is one of the largest gaming events in the United Kingdom that provides for gamers, developers, and industry professionals to come together. Known for showcasing the latest and upcoming video games, hardware, and technology, EGX offers attendees the opportunity to experience early gameplay, attend panel discussions, and interact with developers. The event typically features a diverse range of gaming genres and platforms, from PC and consoles to virtual reality. It serves as a hub for the gaming community to celebrate their passion, discover new titles, and connect with like-minded individuals.

With West Suffolk, I have attended both the 2022 and 2023 events. At both of these, I was presented with the opportunity to play newly released or games that are still in beta. This year the biggest names were Super Mario World and Modern Warfare 3 which was really cool being able to play them.

There was also a stand for the (at the time) unreleased five nights at Freddy's film where they had a photo opportunity and were giving out a free slice of pizza.

EGX also ran tournaments where you could win prizes.

After our time came to an end, I left London with a huge spike in inspiration for the alternative controller project which then led to me having a finished game I was very proud of. I would definitely recommend this expo for young games designers as it helps give you an insight into the industry and processes used to make these games.

UOS:

The University of Suffolk is a public university located in Ipswich, Suffolk, England. Established in 2007 as University Campus Suffolk, it gained full university status in 2016. The university offers a diverse range of undergraduate and postgraduate programs across various disciplines, including arts, business, health, science, and technology. The campus is known for its modern facilities, and the university places a strong emphasis on engaging with the local community through partnerships and collaborative initiatives. With a focus on student success and employability, the University of Suffolk continues to contribute to the academic and cultural landscape of the region.

On our trip to UOS, we were provided with workshops where we demonstrated our skills in the games design industry whilst also learning on what to do during your interviews with a university. We were also challenged with making changes to a game using a different game engine (unity) than we're used to (Unreal Engine.)

I'm glad we had this surprise trip as it helped me furthermore understand my future education despite the University of Suffolk not being one of my choices as it was a very big decision to make with time slowly passing.

[aedelwine]

12/12/2023: I HAVE JUST STARTED SHADOWBRINGERS. DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT MSQ PAST STORMBLOOD AT ALL. I WILL KILL YOU.

--

Sailor / 25 / he+they / Aether / Steam player / WHM main

This is my FFXIV account. (-: I made this because I really needed somewhere to yell and scream and cry about FFXIV without annoying all my friends who don't play and I refuse to create a Twitter account.

I use this blog to literally just dump whatever is in my brain about this stupid game. I will eventually add a dedicated page for my wol. I'm VERY into character building and super emotionally attached to my main wol and other NPCs. I have other characters that exist in my brain that I will inevitably make alts for but currently I'm not finished with msq so I'm focusing on that first. I have also started writing some shit on AO3 that has to do with my wol's backstory which I will link here. Eventually.

I'll post liveblogging here as I play the game, as well as probably any art I make of my OCs. And whatever else floats into my brain. I will likely reblog fanart etc. but as of writing I'm really trying to avoid spoilers so I probably won't venture into tags much if at all.

I live in the American Pacific Northwest and tend to play late night/early morning PST. I solo this game and occasionally play with my two friends who I hate love for getting me into it. I'm a full time online university student and a stay at home spouse. I'm also disabled (mobility aid user) and on the spectrum. I have DID - I won't post about this here. But it might impact my activity on this blog and in game generally so if I disappear for long periods, that's why. My special interest is video games and when I'm not playing them I am cooking and taking care of my pets and playing with my friends. (-:

Please feel free to ask for my Steam! I play primarily on Adamantoise.

[grad604designresearch2avastiven]

Week Eight

Unpacking your chosen elements:

Bob The Builder

Bob the Builder. My favourite show when I was a baby, my parents have said that they could not take pull me away from watching it or I would cry and scream. My first word was Bob, and Bob the Builder was my first birthday cake. 

Movie Symbol

Film. My love and obsession with TV and movies has been around ever since I first discovered film. My room is full of posters from my favourite TV shows and I even collect Lego from some of my favourtie movies. 

YouTube Symbol

Youtube. Youtube was a creative media that was a big part of my growing up. I remember  coming home from school every day and watching any new videos released by my favourite YouTubers.

Apple Logo

Apple. The first ever Apple product I ever owned was an IPod touch 2 that I got for my 10th Birthday. Ever since then I have been a loyal Apple customer. I am technology obsessed and this has only grown since I began studying graphic design.

The Simpsons

The Simpsons. The Simpsons was a huge inspiration of mine growing up. I loved the show so much it’s the reason the first ever dream job I had was “to be an  animator”.

Sunglasses

My sunnies. My favourite pair of sunglasses that barley ever get worn until summer time rolls around. These sunglasses remind me of summer break, Christmas, New Years, and spending time with my friends and family.

Auckland

Auckland. Auckland was where I was born and raised. I’ve moved around a bit growing up, but never left Auckland. I think Auckland will always feel like home to me no matter where I end up in life.

Book

A book. This drawing was based off one of my books from the series ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ or better known as ‘Game of Thrones’. I’m a huge nerd and love all things fantasy. I’ve loved reading for as long as I can remember.

Air Jordans

My favourite pair of shoes that I got for christmas last year. I love fashion and I had my eye set on this pair of shoes for months. I find I’m very specific with my taste and know exactly what I like and what I don’t most of the time.

Koalay teddy

My Koala teddy that is very precious to me. His name is Koalay and he was my aunties when she was a child before he was passed down to me. I remember my Auntie telling me to ‘take good care of him’ and that I have.

Mirror

My desk/makeup mirror. Another object that I use every day. I have had this mirror for years now and it has been very reliable and trusty. I bring it with me whenever I go away as it is just small enough to pack.  Perfect getting ready mirror.

Sunscreen

My sunscreen. Ever since a very young age my Mum has drilled into me to wear sunscreen every day, a lesson that I have carried with me into adulthood. I put sunscreen on every day no matter the weather.

Makeup Sponge

My makeup sponge. Probably the most used object in my makeup routine as I use this after ever step to blend everything out smoothly. A sponge will come with me any time I’m traveling or going out.

Makeup Brush

One of my makeup brushes. This brush is from a set I ordered from England from one of my favorite makeup brands. I’ve always seen makeup as another media of art that I’m very passionate about.

Watercolour palette

A watercolour set that my Nana gave me for Christmas one year. My Nana is my only grandparent so I am very close with her, she is a painter and whenever I would visit as a kid we would spend the day painting in her backyard.

Perfume

My favourite perfume. Even though I’m a broke university student I always find enough money to restock on this perfume when I run out. The smell is perfect, not too strong or too sweet. I wear this every day and love having a signature smell.

Pencil

One of my pencils. Pencil drawing will always be my safety net, as it’s what I’ve been doing for the longest. Even as I learn and improve my skills in other areas of art pencil drawing will always be a favourite as that was where it all began.

Headphones

My headphones. I barley ever go anywhere without headphones or air buds. I need my music constantly, on the bus, walking, working out, doing design homework, I’m listening all the time to every genre there is.

Hair brush

My hairbrush. Another gift from my mum. Me and both of my two sisters all have matching brushes and I find it the best brush for my hair. Nothing else has the same effect and I bring it with me everywhere.

Gold necklace

A necklace I got from my Mum for my 16th Birthday. This necklace is real gold with gem in the eye. I treat it very carefully as it is such a beautiful piece of jewelery that I plan of having for the rest of my life.

[your-sweet-cookies]

☼☼☼☼☼,, yes im pointing at YOU. //

-mun cherry

For every ☼ in my inbox, the muse has to tell you a fact about the mun.

☼ Mun got into AiB thanks to her bff who told her about it. Mun already knew about the show from a "how to beat that" video on Youtube made about AiB, but she just forgot about it until her bff mentioned it and reminded her about it (well, at least the good thing was that she watched it when Season 2 was out too so it made for a great binge watch session). Has no regrets watching the show and loves the community around it! Is here to stay for many years to come. uwu

☼ Although Mun is into writing and reading smut, she is actually asexual in terms of orientation. She is biromantic tho, so not a full aro/ace, just ace. (Happy pridemonth to my fellow queers! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤)

☼ Mun loves drawing, but doesn't do it all the time. For digital art, she only has her old ass phone and her fingers to use for drawing, that's why a full digital piece will take her to around a week or more to complete. All in all, Mun loves art in general and absorbs knowledge through watching Youtube art videos.

☼ Mun is a University student, finishing now her second year of her Major program. She is majoring in Education and just like Kukki, hopes to become a school counselor.

☼ Mun loves videogames! She might not play many herself (outside of phone games and the occasional free online stuff), but she's an avid gameplays viewer, her favorite gaming channels being Markiplier and Jacksepticeye. Mun does play online Otome games currently (My Candy Love and Eldarya, if anyone is interested, but wouldn't really recommend them due to the Company's lack of consideration and respect towards its player base and their disgusting greed. She would stop playing them herself, but is in the fanbase since 2014 and 2016 respectively, so it's hard for her to let go of her fave characters + the artwork of these games is indeed stunning!).

[squishiifishrose]

Oc infodump #1: Bo, the human version of Pinkie Pie.

Full name: Bo May Smith

Pronouns: Xe/Xem/Xer/Xers/Xerself

Gender: Agender (AFAB, if you care)

Age: 16 years old

Height: 6'4"

Personality Positives: Cheerful, Talkative, Altruistic

Personality Negatives: Impulsive, Altruism to the point of self-sabotage, Can be very hyperactive.

(So basically, xer first idea is to help you, and xe may become so focused on helping that xe gets xerself hurt in some way, i.e. almost fall into a sewer while carrying something large and heavy.)

Occupation: High School Student, One of the most consistent people in Capley Bay's Mutual Aid Network.

Disabilities: Bo is autistic.

-Details: Bo has hypersensitive hearing, hyposensitive touch and taste, and has issues feeling grounded in shoes. Bo has a special interest in pastel astethics, rabbits and rabbit care, and an in-universe show called Dizzi the Half-Ghost. Xe has a stuffed rabbit as a comfort object (Not shown as xe doesn't carry it around). A serious issue with Bo is that xe has an extremely hard time noticing when xe get injured, even if xe breaks a bone, unless xe either hears the injury happen, or someone tells xem.

Mental Disorder(s): PTSD

-Details: Bo is triggered by loud, banging noises, blood splatters/things that look like blood splatters, pictures of/extremely realistic art of firearms, going inside Al's Baked Goods, a bakery in Capley Bay, and news reports about a robbery of said bakery. If xe does end up dissociating, xe generally curls up, and starts breathing deeply, in an attempt at grounding xerself. The most prominent thing you will hear xem talk about if you ask is hearing some lines: "Bo get out of there!", "No! I can't let them hurt Mr. Al!", [Bang! Thud.], "Mr. Al! Mr. Al! Get up!", [Police Siren], "Why did I let that lady kill him?!" Bo has had years of therapy, and is currently taking medications.

Hobbies: Watching DTHG, Playing DnD (When the whole campaign group has time to play) and other video games (Xe occasionally streams xer gameplay), Reading manga, hanging out with Hye-Jin and watching her draw and sew (if she lets xem)

Likes: Gaming, Dizzi the Half-Ghost, Volunteering and Helping out with mutual aid

Dislikes: Fireworks, Closed-toe shoes, giving to charities rather than mutual aid (in general, there are charities that xe will donate to if they're for causes xe is passionate about, and xe knows is not in any scandal), accidentally hurting people while trying to help them, not having anything to do, sitting still for long periods of time

Whoever: Mx. Smith, why is your first choice to give out mutual aid rather than to volunteer for a charity?

Bo: While I do donate my money and time to charities like the Trevor Foundation, the charity that helps out LGBT kids through some kinda online chat, I ain't giving my money to places like the Salvation Army if they gonna keep holding God's love from LGBT people, like they done in the past. I'm no Christian, but I'm pretty sure benevolent gods don't take help from people because of their sins, especially if said sins didn't hurt anyone. Even when I'm finna donate, I be hesitant cause that 10 bucks could've gone to a homeless person who would be able to buy something they might need or want, or to getting things like school supplies and food for the Little Free Libary and the fridge Capley Bay's Mutual Aid Network. Prefer seeing people getting food and other needs in the flesh, rather than get some email with a bunch of graphs. It's all important stats, but it just be reading as "You did your good deed for today!", rather than that I improved anything in my community, or any community I can go to and see for myself.

Whoever: How did you get known as the human version of Pinkie Pie in Capley Bay?

Bo: I'm very hyperactive, partially because I be seeking new stimulation in touch every freaking month, not gonna give a shit if some deadass come up to me like "You can't stim here". Like girl bye, I'll stim wherever my brain says to stim. They ain't even wild-ass stims. I just be having my hands like a dino, and some idiot goes wild. Y'know, like Pinike Pie. Also people be saying that I be seeing things they ain't. Like naw, y'all are just not looking right.

Whoever: What's Dizzi the Half-Ghost?

Bo: Only the cutest freaking show in existence! It's about this girl who's mother is a ghost, and dad is human, and how she meets this guy, who just so happens to be a ghost hunter looking for her mom. Anime tropes galore, but it at least don't stereotype the marginalized communities they try to represent, or literally try to make the girl and guy get into a relationship, cause two people getting shipped to hell and back is a problem both hetero and queer communities have. It's anime, so obviously it's gon be in Japanese, but there are subs available. I don't know what the dubbing place is doin, but it be changing everyone's voices. Like deadass why is Dizzi a chipmunk in the dub?

Whoever: So you would say watching the original with subtitles is better than watching the dub?

Bo: Period.

Trivia

Despite having hyposensitive taste, xe absolutely hates sweets.

Bo tends to forget about the details of doctor's appointments unless they were mentioned by the doctor, and xer doctor didn't say anything about xer weight.

Bo has broken bones about 10 times in xer life.

Bo identfies as an unlabeled leftist.

Bo is the only one in xer family to actively use aave in daily conversation, and mostly learned it from hearing people talk around Capley Bay.

A diagram I made with xer gacha plus form:

[postmodern-nostalgia]

Pets rule the internet: a critique and comparison of Felipa Cheng’s Ode to Kring-Kring and Brian David Gilbert’s we like watching birds

With the constant rise of technological improvements and their growing relevance in our lives, new media art continues to thrive in both realms of art creation and appreciation. Not only are we provided with easy-to-access platforms to enjoy them; we are also given many opportunities to make our own at our fingertips. Look no further than the video sharing website Tiktok, where an average of 1 million videos are viewed daily (Mohsin, 2022).

Back in the day, short-form video content were not as appreciated as their full-feature counterparts. Full-length movies were always deemed to be the more difficult one to make–rightfully so because of their length. Quick video clips on the other hand, were considered only for gags, as in the case of the late 80s show America’s Funniest Home Videos, one of the earliest programs that gave these types of films a platform. It was not until internet access became more widespread that short viral videos became popular.

Today, short-form videos are given more credit and is seen as a legitimate medium where anyone can share whatever they want. There are clips that provide useful tutorials, news bits, and even plain entertainment. Enter two short-form videos with qualities that do not fit in just one category: we like watching birds (stylized in lowercase) and Ode to Kring Kring. Despite their vague classification and cryptic writing, these two depict a clear image of the state of internet culture today.

 we like watching birds

Brian David Gilbert, also known as BDG, is an online content creator known for both short-form and hour-long videos on YouTube. BDG previously worked for Polygon, a media company that covers various areas of pop culture such as Japanese anime and video games. On his eponymous YouTube channel, however, he has created a following with his brief, witty short-form content. These films are often about random, mundane topics such as caterpillars in this song is not a metaphor and playing darts in it’s time to get good at darts. we like watching birds is not an exception. The video immediately starts with a catchy song performed and composed by Gilbert himself, but this time with the vocal accompaniment of his partner Karen Han. It is, as stated in the title, about watching birds, and is constantly reiterated in the video by directly mentioning it and naming different species of avifauna–that is, until the happy melody devolved into a chorus about praising a one-eyed horrifying bird god.

A healthy number of Gilbert’s videos follow a similar sequence; they start off with a calm and cheery atmosphere and then, at an unexpected point in the video, begin to shift to a psychological genre. we like watching birds is initially presented as a shallow melody about bird-watching, but almost halfway through the video an unexpected, absurd lore was presented. The mood shifts back to a cheerful one before the video ends, albeit now mixed with a feeling of unease, especially in the line “we like watching birds, which is good, ‘cause we have no choice”, implying the singers’ newfound fear of the bird god after their occult-like worship.

Gilbert’s body of work can be described as postmodern absurdist comedy, described by Stockwell (2016) as a type of comedy that relies on the use of absurdity, non-sequiturs, and irrational or illogical elements to create a sense of surprise and confusion in the audience. Surrealist humor often aims to challenge the audience’s preconceptions and question the way they see the world. This type of humor is also postmodern in the sense that it “rejects grand narratives and universal truths” (Lyotard, 1997).

 Ode to Kring-Kring

Felipa Cheng is a communication arts student from the University of the Philippines Los Baños. During the early years of the COVID-19 pandemic, Cheng produced several pieces of short-form videos dedicated to her friends. Her creations included faux album covers depicting what kind of recording artist her friends would be and what songs they would produce.

Ode to Kring-Kring, one of the clips from Cheng’s project, is a ‘hypothetical’ song that would be produced by one of her friends who owns a plump orange cat named Kring-Kring. The video was in a 1:1 aspect ratio, with a length of exactly one minute–a format which is perfectly made to be sent on the internet, be it a social media platform such as Instagram or a messaging app like Telegram. Cheng used digital software to render handdrawn animatics of a cat which, as mentioned in the song, is “sleeping on [its owner’s] face”.

The video also creates a calm and comforting atmosphere while also being humorous. Alexander (2022) mentions that a conducted by the University of Texas showed that even people who identify as ‘dog persons’ prefer cat-related memes on the internet. The psychological explanation to this phenomenon suggests that internet users that enjoy cat memes project themselves on the personality traits of cats, which include aloofness, independence, and unpredictability. Such qualities of the feline make them a suitable subject for irony and sarcastic humor. In turn, these traits of the cat meme create a sense of comfort.

 While the two short-form videos have high contrasts in their content, they have a significant common denominator, and that is their absurdity. Both cater to surrealist humor which has been the online community’s form of escape especially during the rise of multiple world crises (Matsakis, 2017). The growing acceptance of weird content on the internet, combined with the unstoppable growth of short-form content and the diminishing attention span of viewers, will not be going anywhere, and it will continue providing the solace that is much needed in this era of information overload.

 References:

Alexander, L. (2022, January 4). Why the internet chose cats. Thought Catalog. Retrieved January 26, 2023, from https://thoughtcatalog.com/leigh-alexander/2011/01/why-the-internet-chose-cats/

Cheng, F. (2021). Ode to Kring-Kring.

Gilbert, B. D. (2021, May 10). We like watching birds. YouTube. Retrieved December 23, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml7bK1jg69I&t=39s

Lyotard, J. F. (1997). The postmodern condition. University of Minnesota.

Matsakis, L. (2017, July 1). Surreal memes are the last escape the internet has. VICE. Retrieved January 26, 2023, from https://www.vice.com/en/article/xwz833/surreal-memes-are-the-last-escape-the-internet-has

Mohsin, M. (2022, December 31). 10 tiktok statistics you need to know in 2022 [new data]. Oberlo. Retrieved January 10, 2023, from https://www.oberlo.com/blog/tiktok-statistics

Stockwell, P. (2016). The Language of Surrealism. p. 177. Bloombury Publishing.

[zicygomar]

Man, remember just how wild watching Pop Team Epic was like in early 2018? Some highlights:

PTE occupied a full show’s timeslot, but each “episode” was the same half-length episode run twice back-to-back.

One run had the leads voiced by female voice actors, and the other run by male voice actors.

The second run could feature additional or alternate gags.

The voice actors for Popuko and Pipimi changed every episode.

It may be obvious, but remember that it was intended to air on TV, not just online streams. PTE’s first episode starts with a bait and switch, starting with a intro teaser and a full OP for a made-up romcom magical girl idol show called “Hoshiiro Girldrop”. Viewers just picking it up wouldn’t know it was indeed Pop Team Epic until Popuko angrily interrupted the OP by tearing through the screen.

Every episode preview was for Hoshiiro Girldrop.

Literally any of AC-bu’s Bob Epic Team/Bobunimimimi segments.

They got a French animator to create his own set of segments. Thibault Tresca had never read Pop Team Epic before and was encouraged to NOT research it while working on it.

This resulted in the JAPON MiGNON segments, where Popuko and Pipimi visit France and speak French. Japanese subtitles were not provided until the repeat run.

JAPON MiGNON segments were the only sketches where Popuko and PIpimi were shown blinking.

Hellshake Yano

Male pop idol star Shouta Aoi appeared as himself. Also he’s a time traveler tasked with saving Popuko and Pipimi from some great conspiracy.

Earth, Wind, and Fire music video but it’s stop motion felt puppets.

In one episode, they put sound effects over the OP.

The show frequently takes shots at King Records, its publisher and one of the biggest record labels in Japan.

University student Makoto Yamashita was invited to do segments in his specialty of video game pixel art and effects. It was also counted as his senior thesis.

He put in an Undertale segment.

Producer Kotaro Sudo had trouble convincing King Records to greenlight the show. His department head told him every producer gets a sort of free greenlight in their career, but only one. Sudo cashed his in.

Many anime are funded by a production committee made up of various other companies, in order to spread cost and defer risk. PTE was produced solely under King Records, meaning if it flopped, they’d bear the full loss. Nothing a top record label can’t stomach, but TV shows still ain’t cheap.

If the final episode, King Records, which exists in the show, transforms into some sort of monster castle mecha. Popuko and Pipimi combine into a golden fusion of themselves and destroy King Records.

[writingmochi]

chapter v. blue period

cast: grunge kid!yeonjun ✗ art student/painter!fem.reader

synopsis: you’re an out-of-place art student living in your childhood hometown, pursuing your dream of becoming a painter. one day, you were given a mysterious responsibility as you try to not get your childhood best friend killed

genre: coming of age, college/university au, childhood best friend au, supernatural au, angst, fluff, mature content (sensitive topics and explicit smut)

based on: video game life is strange (2013)

word count: 8605

taglist? closed

warning(s): suggestive (a direct continuation of the last episode), nudity, attempted suicide (this is a safe place carrd for awareness and resources, you can reach out to me by anon if you need someone to talk to), blood, mention of bullying, implicit mention of mental breakdown, implicit mention of self-harm (if i forgot some, let me know)

message from the moon: remember that this story is fiction. do be careful and read the warnings at the top as both the chapter and the series as a whole will contain serious and sensitive topics.

thank you for waiting for two months for this chapter. not gonna lie, this is the hardest chapter to write because of the subject matter + gaining the time and right head space to write them down as i want it to focus on the characters and what they’ve gone through to reach there instead of the actions they do. nonetheless, i hope you will like it and if the subject matter is too hard for you, you don’t have to read it…

masterlist

your eyes gazed at the window as you see a glimpse of light streaming down behind the blinds. eyes now sharp and focused as you let them move from the beams to yeonjun who is still sleeping beside you, his hands encircling around your body, feeling him holding you in a tight squeeze. you lightly touch the skin of your body as you felt it stick to your fingertips, observing the dry patches or stroke of paints all over your body that makes you feel icky. you see the bathroom door slightly ajar and the dark interior behind it, your mind attracts you to it, slightly reminding you of your project that you haven't finished.

you slowly pull yourself off of him, realizing that you slept in the position you are from the night with him being inside of you, moving slightly but surely on the wrinkled bed cover while putting his hands on top of where you slept. you bit your lips, feeling the heat coming to your cheeks as what happened last night flowed into your memory. you put your feet onto the ground and push yourself up, your legs tremble as you almost trip from the pain in your pelvis but you're able to find your balance as you walk slowly to the bathroom while wrapping your arms around your naked body, feet being dragged by each movement as you bit your lips to not utter a sound that can make yeonjun wake up.

turning the light switch on in the bathroom as you feel the cold tiles that surround you making your skin shiver, you lean your arms against the counter in front of the mirror full of soaps, deodorants, and clutter items that exudes yeonjun. you look up to see yourself in the mirror and your eyes widen as your eyes can't believe what they are seeing, almost don't recognize the body they are in. seeing the strokes of grey and light gold on your body clearer than when you lay down with the addition of bloomed purple hickeys on your shoulder and near your chest, some dried crust on your face and your swollen lips and glossy eyes. the remnants of last night stand there as your mind takes notes on how each of them came to paint your body.

you turn the knob open as running water comes raining down the drain in front of you, feeling it getting warm from the water heater as you step into the now warm water that you've adjusted. you let out a sigh as you can feel the water trickle down your body, letting your muscles relax from such physical activity you did last night that you haven't done in a while, tiring yourself out like the gym classes you last attend back in high school. washing your face with it as you gather the water in your hands and brush against the skin of your face, rubbing them lightly as you see a blurry silhouette on the other side of the glass.

"jun, gosh. i…" you jumped as you realize it is yeonjun leaning against the counter behind the glass of the shower area, hearing him chuckle and you mimic him lightly while you covered your body from him unconsciously.

"can i join?" yeonjun tilts his head as he proudly exhibits his body full of tattoos, dry paints, and hickeys like the ones you have before washing most of them away, a few of them hiding behind the waterdrops that stick to the glass wall. you stood stunned as your eyes look down at your body, hands wrapping around your private parts and helped by the hazy glass from the warmth of the water.

"come on, we've seen each other naked." yeonjun pouted as he walks to stand closer behind the glass, his palm resting on the glass as if you were a fine china being placed inside an exhibit. seeing his nose scrunch that you usually lose against.

you let out another breath and said, "okay, you can join."

you see yeonjun moves in with a smirk on his face and walk past you as he places himself underneath the running water from the showerhead, his hair flattened from it as you see colors trailing down all over his body combining with his tattoos, seeing them being drain as you remember the source of it, his painted wing on his back.

"let me help you clean the paint on your back," you spoke as yeonjun stopped brushing his hair with water and nodded, turning around to face the tiled wall and then tilting his head down, letting the water run down from his hair to his back as a few of the paints are carried down. you step close and place your hand on his broad back, softly rub the water to the ruined body painting and seeing the skin and tattoo underneath it, hearing him hum as you also untangled some of his back muscles unintentionally.

"if you massage me, then i can massage you right after." you hear yeonjun mumble as you finished pouring his body soap on your palm, slowly rubbing it against the other palm and placing it on yeonjun's back as you clean and massage him. letting the bubbles form on top of the peeled paints as you spread down his back and along the ink adorning his skin. reaching to his left shoulder and soothe the paint away as you continue down his back.

"where did you discover your powers?" you heard yeonjun ask, making you pause from what you're doing.

"where?" you asked back as your hand slips down his back from the slippery alkaline of the soap. he's asking you about that, isn't he?

"where were you, what kind of situation." he elaborates further, confirming what you thought as the memory is being played in your mind while you think about what you will have to tell him. you can see yeonjun turning his head to the side so that he can peek through the corner of his eyes, calling your name while you stood quiet as the water calmly splashes around your feet. you finally exhale.

"i was… i was on my way back from my class and i usually use a shortcut in between buildings to go back to my hall." you can hear the tap being closed from in front of yeonjun, the bubbles on his back now falling down into the shallow pool where you two stood in.

"found these boys one day on my way back, they were arguing about something when i realized one of them is familiar to me." you continued as you look to his head, knowing he is peeking at you from behind the few wet strains that curtain his eyes.

"one of them was you." you see his head move more as you unconsciously gnawed your lips.

"you were almost stabbed and i tried to reach for you, then i got sent back in time a few minutes before."

"i heard a can being thrown and saw a dog following it to the bushes that day." yeonjun's head now fully facing towards you, his eyebrows creased as you can finally see a glimpse of his eye. your lips form a thin line as your shoulders slump down.

"that was me after the rewind." you lean against the cold tile wall, fingers playfully tangling with each other, finally letting out the catalyst that saved yeonjun was you all along. the creases on yeonjun are more prominent and it slowly slips as he realized the reality of it all.

"wait. so, i was supposed to get hurt… supposed to get stabbed…?" he mutters out and you gave a nod at his words, taking a glance at him as much as you can even though you don't feel like it.

"i almost lost you." you felt your nose itches and you covered your body from feeling shivers on your wet skin. you can see conflict in yeonjun's eyes as he is leaning closer to you, resting one of his arms on the wall beside your shoulder while the other gently grabs your hand, feeling his palm soothing yours. his face now right in front of yours, seeing his eyes glisten as he examines your contorted face from all the emotions you are feeling and the conflict in your head when he gave the hand that he holds a kiss on the back.

"i owe you so much." yeonjun whispered as his eyes started to glisten more, earning a light chuckle from you for the unexpected reaction.

"you don't owe me anything," you replied.

"still…" he answered before enveloping his arms around your body. you heard him sniffle as he grips your waist tight, making you soothe him by rubbing against his back, feeling the bumps that you presumed were by you from the other night, thinking back on how wild it must have been and sorry for hurting him so much.

"you do owe me a massage and you better hurry cause i have class later near noon." you heard him chuckle from your whispers as he pulls back, giving an unexpected peck to your lips as he grabs the soap and pours it in his palm for your turn.

-

wearing his clothes that fits yours as your previous clothes were wrinkled after using them the other day, you sat in yeonjun's truck as you look out the window, seeing the dark clouds floating above you and the town, feeling his hand holding yours near the gear stick. the sun is slowly covered by the cloud as you see raindrops starting to drip down the roof of the truck, hearing the sound of the streets from the slightly open window from your seat being masked by the rain now falling down and wetting your environment.

the rain pours more as the truck nears the parking lot of your campus grounds, people crowding at the lot and walking away but not to the buildings near them, which makes you lean your head in confusion. the truck stops in the middle of the lot as more people start to walk towards one side of the campus, hearing some people from the outside saying some incoherent things or watching their phones as they look tense. you looked down at your lap as you try to shake it out of your mind, thinking that maybe it was just you. but looking back at the surrounding of the truck, you see more people walking towards the same side.

"something's not right," you mumble to yeonjun, tightening the grip between his and your hand before letting go and picking up your bags on the floor of your seat, opening the door as you go outside in the rain, feeling the water seeping down onto your clothes. you heard yeonjun shout your name as you step closer to a group of girls whose eyes widen and cover themselves with their bags or binders as they walk towards the same side as others.

"hi, mind if i ask what's happening? i've been seeing people walking towards that way," you asked while pointing the way the girls are going to go.

one of them replies, "something's happening in one of the halls. it's the girl from the video that got spread."

the girl from the video that got spread…

herin…

as your mind puzzles the information, you felt something on your shoulders and it spun you around as your breath was taken out from the sudden movement.

"i swear, (y/n). don't scare me like that." you heard yeonjun's voice pierce through the sound of the rain meeting the ground. yet you can only see the image of herin standing in front of a hall in your mind, your hall. you took yeonjun's hand in yours and walk away not minding the rain, dragging him with you as you both run to the hall.

"hey, hey. what's wrong?" yeonjun questioned as you both go through a shortcut, the same alley that you save him as you can see the stray dog cowering inside a box. but you're not stopping as you turn the corner, the same one that hid you from him.

"something is happening with herin." you frantically replied while continuing to run through your shortcuts when you see the crowds formed in front of the entrance of your hall, all looking up, fighting against the pouring rain. you see a silhouette on the edge of the roof. herin on the edge of the roof.

you heard yeonjun gasp as he looks up. that's when you turn to look at him pulling out his phone, typing in the emergency hotline, and sticking it to his ear. you look back towards the hall when you listened to more gasping coming from the people around you and see something falling.

no…

your palm immediately opens and instead of just feeling it as you close, you see the rain goes back up as you rewind the fast-paced time. the silhouette follows and you stopped it as it rests on the ledge again. sensing your head getting heavier and something running down your nose. blood, as you see the smear on your finger.

you heard the same gasps when you look at the stain on your finger and instantly open up your palm. instead of feeling the same sensation as rewinding, you tap into something different, the same thing that you felt yesterday.

you have to stop her.

you see the rain rewinds back again but instead of the time running again as you finished, you see the rain goes up slowly and slowly until it almost stops as you can see them rise up millimeter by millimeter. everything slows down except for your movement, which you tested by touching one of the raindrops and seeing it scattered slowly.

this is your chance, (y/n).

you took a peek at yeonjun who is holding his phone that you knew he would call the emergency and left him to go to the hall. walking past the people in front of you and through the floors as you ascend to the roof as you can't bear to close your palm, seeing the people inside slowly rewinding as their heels meet the floor behind them while walking back.

you arrive at the roof heaving, feeling the power dissipates as time moves forward again, seeing herin's soaked clothes in front of you like the gray clouds covering the sky.

"herin!" you heard your voice hoarse.

herin startled figure looks behind her to the entrance of the roof, your hands on your knees as you take a big gulp of breath.

"what are you doing here, (y/n)?" you straighten yourself as you wipe the flowing blood from your nose.

"are you just gonna humiliate me like the rest?" you heard her shout, her voice is also hoarse as her breath hitches from her cries.

"i'm-i'm not like them. i-" you took a huge breath and replied as calmly as you can, "i let you down by not being with you and i'm sorry. i'm trying to help figure out what came to that video spreading." your eyebrows furrowed as you try your best to subside the dizziness, wanting to focus on the girl.

"without me? yeah, right…" she scoffed as you see her hands clenching into a fist beside her.

"your life matters to me. what you received was unfair." you slowly took a step towards her as you frown, feeling your eyes sting between your tears and the rain.

"it is and i felt so dirty. i can't wash it off no matter how hard i try. everybody's made up their minds about me because of that now." she sobs as you see her take a glance at the edge.

"there's no 'everybody'. your friends and family love you." you put your hands on your chest.

"i don't have any friends!" you heard her scream. "i was so nice to other people even in my lows yet all i've gotten is bullying and that video that tears me down. nobody cares about me."

"you're my friend and i care for you." you took another step. "please trust me and stand by me. i can help you." you let your hand out.

"i just want to make it stop. i came to that party to forget yet someone recorded it and spread it like wildfire. i-" you took another step, almost arms reach from her. you thought about what you've been experiencing with herin thus far and the memorable moments of hers sticking to your mind and seeping out, making your frown fade.

"i remember the poem that you wrote last week, how you're missing home, your family, your friends back home, your dog. it was beautiful, reminding me of my family in the city." you sniffle as you see herin looking at you.

"i remember back in orientation days, you were the mood maker of our group. me, as socially awkward as i am, thought about you like 'how can this girl be so positive in this very tense situation with a new environment and new people?'" you chuckled, hearing her chuckle too.

"last week was actually my first time walking back to the hall with anyone from my class and it was very fun, given the circumstances of the social awkwardness, and i'm glad it was with you cause you're fun." you heard her giggle. as you see that your distance is near enough from her, you squat in front of her like you did towards her the day you gain your powers, that you did to yeonjun days ago, that you did to your friends here when they're down.

"remember that day when i tear the paper that got thrown towards you and did this?" you see her nod, "i meant in when i said you can talk to me. you're my friend, no matter how close we are, and i will try my best to help you with everything i can." you speak calmly and you stood up and let your hand out.

"i have your back," you stated, seeing her arm reaching out to hold yours and you lightly pulled her into your embrace, feeling her pouring her tears out on your shoulder as you both knelt feeling your legs giving out, not minding the wet concrete on the floor of the roof on your pants.

"thank you for reminding me." you heard her mumble on your shoulder loud enough to pierce the rain ambiance as you look back to the open door of the roof to see paramedics coming in with two of the institute staff following in.

you nod towards her and whisper, "i'll talk to you later."

herin gives a warm smile as the paramedics help her leave the roof, giving a warm smile as you wipe the light streak of blood. you didn't notice that yeonjun was there with minjeong behind him before seeing them, giving a tight lip smile as yeonjun strode and envelops you in a hug, resting his foreheads on yours as you felt him cup your cheeks. minjeong chuckled as you hug her, felt that some of her clothes were dry now getting wet by both your body and the rain.

"sorry for making it wet." you quickly said.

"it's okay, i stepped out to the rain on purpose." minjeong replied, making you giggle then you saw her frown.

"your nose is bleeding." you brushed your hands under the nostrils, remembering the new skillset that you've gotten because of it.

"i'm fine, i still have class though…" you mumbled as you felt the vibration in your pocket, seeing mr. park's art history session canceled for the day.

"let us meet her when you can and visit her." yeonjun replied as he glance towards minjeong and see her nod towards you.

"a friend of (y/n) is a friend of ours."

-

you looked at the finished painting for your submission to the competition, seeing the cold and warm tones contrasting each other and how it creates a harmony of the two contrasting tones of the canvas' 'canvas' with the two windows. picking the canvas up and your bag from your chair, you walk to professor park's class as you remember he has another class today after the canceled one is being rescheduled.

as you walk with the canvas on your side, you remembered your conversation with herin two days ago when you visit her as she heals.

"sorry for being late. class and projects halt me," you said to her after you knocked on her door and saw her opening, wearing clothes that looks like one that she would be wearing in the hall.

"that's okay. come on in." she replied as she moved away to let you in, seeing flowers and 'get well soon' balloons near her hospital bed.

"i bought you some food that my friends are picking up if you don't mind me bringing them." she nods at your words while giving a warm smile as she walks inside sitting on the bed where you can see the journal of poems you remember seeing. you sat in the seat beside her bed as she puts the book on her other side.

"how are you?" you see the bandages on her wrists which concealed some faded marks that still can be seen outside of it, which you don't notice before as she wore long sleeves the last time you saw her.

"never been better and i wanted to say thank you and say sorry for burdening you." you see her moving her hand on yours, feeling how soft it is as you look from your hands to her face when you see how tired she looks.

"that's perfectly fine. i want to help you," you replied, the corner of your mouth lifted as you smile at her.

she looks around the room before saying, "the video, i just… i was not sober and i didn't know better." she lifts her knees onto the bed and curls her body so her knees met her chest.

"i never should have gone there. i never…" you hear her start to sob, her face covered by her unoccupied hands while she still grasping your hand.

"it's not your fault, herin." you sit closer to soothe her back as her sobs fade, witnessing her calm herself down.

"if you have any questions, you can ask away. maybe it will help you." you heard her voice out as she moves to the top of the bed and leans back on the lifted upper side of it.

you thought about what has transpired between the day before and more before it when you landed on a piece of information that your mind spun. but you might have a chance to ask her about it because she was mentioned.

"so, i walked past karin around a week or more ago," you see her looking up from her lap to you as you continue. "and at that time she has been warning me to 'not approach park from art history'" you spoke as you make an air quote.

"and then she blurts out this information about why she bullied you and claimed that you and park hooked up." you stopped as you see her look across her blankly, no movement, just blinking her eyes.

"karin… she's…" she chuckled as she shook her head. "that's why, huh?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"i got this info from word of mouth so i cannot claim it is true or not. you see, karin is a… interesting individual." you tilt your head, asking for elaboration as she uses her hand to gesture you to sit closer, which you do as she continues to talk.

"karin has chased after park for years after she has a crush on him back in elementary school. which i can confirm that they did go to the same school after a former schoolmate of her said to me, who is my close friend back at home." you perked your eyebrows up as she resumes.

"she has been in the same alma mater as park's and when she knows that park goes to the institute to then graduate and work here, she follows." herin looked towards you as you nod, archiving them into your brain.

"so she is lovesick and what about park?" you questioned.

"he is complicated."

you heard knocks coming from the door, seeing from the message that lits your phone up that minjeong and yeonjun have arrived with the food. before you stand up to go open the door, you felt a tug on your wrist, seeing herin's bandaged hand.

"be very careful, (y/n)."

you nodded as you walk to the door to open up, minjeong peeking through the door and greeting herin. as minjeong walks in first, you see yeonjun waving awkwardly at herin as they stepped towards the bed, seeing herin gives a tight lip smile before you walk to sit beside her.

"so… these are my friends."

you arrive at the hallway of the classes where you see a few recognizable people that are in the same major as yours going to the other way from where you walk from. that is until you see a familiar figure walk into the same class you're going in front of you. their steps bouncing on the walls and you see a smaller canvas than yours on their hand.

you stopped right beside the door when you heard park and karin greeting and conversing, and you notice some flirty intonations coming from karin from the pitches you recognize like when tv sitcom characters are flirting with each other. taking a small glimpse from behind the wall, you see them talking near the table. you really don't want to interrupt, remembering her perception of you, but you want to submit your work as fast as possible to have the weight on your shoulders.

you knocked on the open door, both people turning their heads towards you where you see a scowl on karin's face as she realized it is you.

"good afternoon mr. park. i'm here to give my submission for the art contest." you see how park's eyes widen and form a smile on his face.

"come on in, (y/n). you can put it there." he pointed to a place in front of his desk behind him full of canvases of varying shapes and sizes.

you bowed your head as you fast walk to the canvases, seeing the same-sized canvas that you saw with karin's figure with her name on a sticky note, seeing other sticky notes marking the other canvases with the names of your peers both in your class and others. you see the marker and the yellow stack of sticky notes on the table and put the canvas right beside it so you can mark your canvas with your name.

"how is herin doing?" you heard park say besides you with a clack of nails on the phone in the background courtesy of karin on her phone. you side glance at park sneakily, your walls now up because of that uncertain review you got of him from herin and the whole situation with you, him, herin, and the girl across from him.

"she's doing better," you replied coldly as you wrote your name on the note and stick it to your canvas.

"glad to know," he added and you see how karin paused when she glanced at your canvas.

"that looks familiar." you heard her mumble under her breath which made you raise your eyebrows slightly. then you remembered about your art blog.

which she is a follower of it.

you never update about the progress of this specific work on your blog but then you see how she, as a follower of yours, can see the resemblance of it. your art style on the canvas really reflects the one that you painted in marisantheia, which makes the siren in your mind blare so loud it covers your eardrums.

you got to go before she finds out.

you cleared your throat as you put the canvas down with the other. "sorry for interrupting. i'm going to go now." you bowed your head as you walk away to the door.

"thank you for your submission." you heard park say to you, which then you see karin glare at him then back at you. you nod your head and walk away as far as you can from the very alarming situation.

-

you rub pansy's head where she rests on your lap, who are following you and yeonjun gazing at the sky and the sun as it sets, the lighthouse standing beside you. you're sitting on the open back of yeonjun's pickup truck after another day of picnic and playing around with pansy, introducing her to nature near the lighthouse. you coo as you see pansy's ears perk up at the sound of the rustling leaves, chirping birds, and the waves crashing on the cliff of the lighthouse.

you laughed as you see how pansy rolling on the ground and jumping in the air as she chased floating leaves while eating your favorite ice cream from your favorite ice cream parlor in haeyang that moved away from the downtown area. how yeonjun nags at pansy for pulling on the wool coming out of his ripped sweater, which makes him move after pansy and her bumping her head on your knees before you pick her up and soothe her head, her rambles of meows making you giggle as you see yeonjun pouts. you sat her down properly behind you two as you gave her the proper cat food that you bought, yeonjun's playlist blasting from inside the truck.

"yeonjun, what are we?" you suddenly asked, the tapping sound from him patting his thigh stops as you sense yeonjun move closer to you.

"aren't we friends?" he questioned.

you nod but you also replied, "friends don't see each other naked though."

"what do you mean? i saw you naked back before a few days ago and i skinny-dipped with soobin often enough." he contradicts while you bit your bottom lips.

"you know what i mean." you answered. "how you kiss me comfortable enough, how we had sex. yet you seem so casual," you added as you let your eyes wander away.

you sense how his shoulder is now beside yours as the scraping of cloth meeting metal stop as you continue, "and we seem to be connected more than what friends are."

"do you have romantic feelings for me?" he suddenly asked. you glance at him while contemplating your answer.

"i, i don't know… it's complicated. and i know you don't do dating." you replied, remembering another conversation a few hours ago where you both talked about your love life and how yeonjun never dated anyone, how he dislike the word 'boyfriend' and how he doesn't want to be defined as one when approaching someone he likes. he said how he wants people to love for the sake of love, not for identity.

"so if i do say yes to you, i'll be disrespecting your belief. which of course i don't want." you shook your head while your lips form a thin line. you heard him hum as he leaned forward and closer to you. you see the side profile of his contemplating state and how it forms with passing time. that is until you see how his head moves so fast that you hope he didn't get whiplash.

"have you heard of twin flames?" he spoke out. twin flames? as in how your soul has a twin of itself?

"yeah…" you replied.

he sat upright as he open his arms wide, eyes and mouth follows as they widens, "what if we are one?" he exclaimed.

the idea of being twin flames with yeonjun?

"what do you mean by that?" you tilt your head as he groans and searches for the term 'twin flames' where he comes across one article.

"'signs you have met your twin flame. number 1: instant recognition.' didn't we just hug each other when we met up weeks ago? like we instantly recognize each other from the get-go." he instantly asks as you nodded and lean closer, remembering the first moment you saw him after a decade and the smell of cigarette sticking on his body.

"'number 2: you two are very similar. both of you will find that your past stories have a lot of coincidences and similar experiences' i mean, we did grow up with each other and got separated." you read the words.

"and we both struggle to then found something that our lives now revolved with. you with painting and me with my lifestyle." he continued, making you tilt your head.

"okay…" you replied hesitantly. you both continue identifying the signs and how your relationship has connections to it. from you two as you both recognize the struggle you both have with loneliness with yeonjun quoting, "the outcasts of the outcasts" when describing you two. how you two where you give proof with how many times yeonjun asked you to meet up even though you have class, no matter where and no matter when.

"last one, 'they push you to do and be better'." you stayed in eye contact with him after he read out the words. you look down at your hands where you possessed the power you have and your art skills.

"you made me meet people that i don't usually hang out with and i'm mostly sober now, no getting high, no getting drunk, just me and my cigs," he replied which make you reply too.

"you pushed me out of my comfort zone even though sometimes on purpose." you heard him giggle as you continue, "and you push me to help people out and being my partner in crime."

"in time, don't forget." you chuckle as your warm gaze connects with his. "there might be more than we can dissect but that's enough to prove my theory." yeonjun spoke out with you nodding.

"we are twin flames… that sounds… intriguing." you let your eyes wander to see the sun now meeting the surface of the sea, how beautiful it is to you and even pansy, who gets off the truck then stands on the edge of the cliff as her head sticks to the sun.

"more than lovers," he replied as you see him picking up the tissue napkin leftover from when you were eating ice cream and grab something from your bag, one of your outline markers, and write something on it.

"you should write one too." yeonjun said while smiling widely and then you see the words written on it.

'y/n's twin flame'

he handed you the last tissue that he got and give it to you where you wrote it in your own handwriting.

'yeonjun's twin flame'

"putting this in my wallet so that i can remember," he mumbles to himself with you chuckling and following him in putting in a pocket in your bag.

"speaking off…" he suddenly speaks, you see him pulling out a flimsy paper that he opens and give to you. you recognize the drawing and the date you wrote on the corner of the paper.

it was the drawing you finished right before the moment yeonjun's mom left the house. the day she died.

you see the drawing of the tree with colorful leaves, some on the tree while others on the ground.

"thought you might wanna have it." you take the drawing from him and observed the tree when you see a few of your art styles in their infancy.

"when i looked at the date, sometimes i wonder what will happen if what happened with mom didn't happen." yeonjun mumbles out.

"and since your time abilities don't include time travel, we might not know. but well, what happened happens so here we are." he continues as you both see the sun now more than halfway down the horizon. eyes looking from the drawing then to the sky in front of you as the sea swallows the ball of light.

-

after you kiss him goodbye, you walk through the lit pathway to your hall. your breath hitches as you stood at the entrance and look at the carving by the side of the building. you swallow your saliva as you're climbing the flight of stairs and walk to the door of your room where you heard minjeong playing violin from her room, which you can recognize is the third part of the concerto she's going to perform.

you enter your room, letting your bag falls on the bed as you sat beside it. seeing all your finished and blank canvases on the corner, remembering the reception they got when you post them in your blog. how you almost got recognized by the person that despised you in some way as she is a fan of yours.

you lean back on your bed and felt a paper brushing your cheek, which after you grab and felt the flimsy texture is the tree drawing that yeonjun gave you. you focused on it and how the colors are so different but it creates a synergy of uniqueness. slowly blurring into one.

but, when you blink, the blurring doesn't disappear and strangely only the paper is blurry, not the ceiling behind it.

you immediately sat up and look throughout your room, holding the paper with your two hands as the appearance of the tree trunk is now mixed that it doesn't resemble it anymore. however, you heard voices. voices that seem familiar. a certain voice that you know.

"yeonjun, look at it. it's almost finished."

the voice seems to come from the paper and it gets louder as you lean in closer to look at the blurry colors, seeing them twirl into each other. then you heard a voice you haven't heard in a long time.

"the fridge is almost empty."

your eyes sting as you realized who that is. the color gets blurrier as it swallows your vision. swallows your body whole. and it all turns white.

-

"and boop." you heard your child self say as the colors start to get more define as you blink rapidly. you sat on the floor of yeonjun's house's living room instead of the minimalist look that you saw last time, it's more colorful, more homely, then you see a shadow entering your vision.

"that looks good, (y/n)." you heard a familiar voice and the shadow turns around and you see them.

it's yeonjun, his 10-year-old self.

"(y/n), i said it looks good." yeonjun's voice pierces your trancing self.

"oh, yeah. thanks," you reply, with your 10-year-old voice. as your eyes wander on the room you're in, you see some blurry colors and white on the places that are supposed to be the backyard, the upstairs, and the front door. you look down at the table to see the paper with the drawing of a tree and its color beneath you, how it looks new that you can see a minuscule air bubble from the newly written date of the day, the paper looks sturdy, unlike the ones you have that could easily break.

you see the outfits that you wore and how little your body used to be before you became your adult self. you glance at yeonjun beside you playing mario kart on nintendo ds and heard footsteps from above you, trailing your eyes to the stairs where you heard it step down. that's when they widen when you met the woman you haven't met in a long time.

yeonjun's mom.

"yeonjun, (y/n). i'll be leaving to get some groceries, okay?" you see her said.

it was the last moment you'll see of her cause she died in a couple of minutes.

the paper made you travel to the time you finished the art, the moment before she left.

"okay, mom." you heard yeonjun reply while still playing his ds. your gaze sticks to his mom and how you felt your eye glisten from the tears that you hold. she finished wearing her socks, after that you see her grab her bag from the chair at the entrance, and then she goes to the kitchen to grab her wallet.

"take care of him, (y/n)." you heard her say when it triggers more in your brain than it is supposed to be knowing the implicit context.

"i'm literally the same age as her, mom." yeonjun replied as you see her come to yeonjun and kiss his head while chuckling.

"i know you are. love you, angel," she replies as she walks to the door and proceeds to wear her shoes. the front door opened to blurry colors and white where she stepped out.

"no-"

then it all turns monochrome as soon as she is consumed by the whiteness.

seeing the room from a third-person point of view, you see how your little self reaches out to her, different from what you remember happening when you were looking at yeonjun continuing his race.

you're in a pocket dimension where you can save yeonjun's mom. the contemplation forming in your head if you want to save her not. why? because you don't know if everything will change or not unless you are willing to try. that is for yeonjun's curiosity.

for yeonjun's happiness.

you extend your hand and open your palm, see the monochromatic colors blur and you go back to the start where you finished your drawing.

"and boop." you heard your child self say then the colors start to get more define. you look around the room to remember what pathing did her mom go through before leaving. what did she grab first? her socks.

"that looks good, (y/n)." you heard little yeonjun say beside you.

"aww… thanks," you replied more enthusiastically, remembering that you are your 10-year-old self. you stood up and walk near the front door where you see the socks on the lowest stair and the bag on the chair, waiting for it to be picked up. you quietly grab the socks and pick them up to put them behind one of the cushions of the sofas. then, you heard footsteps from above you and trails to the stairs where you heard them stepping down.

"yeonjun, (y/n). i'll be leaving to get some groceries, okay?" you see her said.

"okay, mom." you heard yeonjun reply while still playing his ds, yet your gaze stick to his mom, observing her closely.

"where did that socks go?" you heard exclaimed, seeing her looking at the stairs and around it. "oh well, sandals it is," she said making your eyes widen in panic then you see her grab her bag from the chair in the entrance and then she goes to the kitchen to grab her wallet.

"take care of him, (y/n)." you heard her say.

"i'm literally the same age as her, mom." yeonjun replied as you see her come to yeonjun and kiss his head while chuckling.

"i know you are. love you, angel," she replies as she walks to the door and proceeds to wear her shoes. the front door opened to blurry colors and white where she stepped out.

and it all turns monochrome once again.

'not again. think (y/n)'

you try over and over again, putting her bag somewhere so she searches for it but it's too big but she said she doesn't need to bring all of it for a grocery run, telling her to maybe let uncle choi pick her up which she denied cause she knows her husband is busy, telling her you want to join but she denies again as she promised your mom you have to stay here. that is until you remember the wallet.

the wallet, a big priority for going on grocery runs, is small enough to be hidden. you have to make her search for it.

you extend your hand and see it blurs and you go back to the start where you finished your drawing.

"and boop." you heard your child self say then the colors start to get more define. you look around the room, peeking at the kitchen.

"that looks good, (y/n)." you heard little yeonjun say beside.

"thank you!" you replied enthusiastically your 10-year-old voice before you stood up and walk to the kitchen where you see the wallet on the counter. you quickly grab it and hide it beneath your clothes, hoping its shape will not be shown that she can easily recognize it. you heard footsteps from above you and trails to the stairs where you heard it step down where you stood in the kitchen, pretending to grab some water.

"yeonjun, (y/n). i'll be leaving to get some groceries, okay?" you heard yeonjun's mom say.

"okay, mom." you heard yeonjun reply while still playing his ds, and your gaze stick to his mom, observing her closely.

she finished wearing her socks then walk to grab her bag from the chair at the entrance and then she goes to the kitchen to grab her wallet.

"hi (y/n)." you waved at her as she stares at the kitchen counter, you see her eyebrows furrowed.

"have you seen my wallet?" you shook your head and you see her look around the kitchen. "oh god where is it?" she looks at the kitchen cabinets, opening and closing them.

it's working.

"do you want me to help, auntie?" you asked.

she replied with a nod. "auntie might put it here or upstairs."

"okay, i can help you search downstairs…" you responded so you can stall for time.

she lets out a smile and then an answer, "that would be great. let me know if you find it."

"can i ask what it looks like?" you questioned, diverting her attention for a split second.

"it's a very thin wallet but it's long, not the folded one like the one yeonjun has." you nod your head and see her walk out the kitchen, hearing the footsteps above you again, feeling the wallet's leather material cold on your skin.

you stall her for a couple of minutes, hoping it is enough time to let her stay alive. you walk around the entrance, to the dining table to crouch under it, search at the tv cabinet that you open and close, and now on the couches as you slid your hand at the sides of the cushions. you were really glad yeonjun doesn't seem to notice you wandering around his house as he is racing very seriously.

"found it!" you exclaimed, calculating that it is enough time as you heard the footsteps going down the stairs. you slowly climb off the couch and walk to the entrance with her wallet in your hand.

"that is it, right?" you see her eyes widen and turn into a straight line as she smiles.

"yes, it is. good job." you smiled as you follow her to yeonjun from the entrance.

"got to go now, i'm already running late" you see her come to yeonjun and kiss his head while chuckling.

"love you, angel," she mumbles as walks to the door and proceeds to wear her shoes. she opens the front door where blurry colors and white are she looks back at you, holding the door.

"thank you, (y/n)!"

"you're welcome." and you see her walk away as the blurriness consumes your vision once again.

-

you rub your eyes as you see the ray of sun blinding your vision, feeling the soft and cool duvet underneath you as you heard the default alarm sound from your phone. as you sat up while rubbing your face softly with both of your hands, eyes heavy, you slowly dropped your hands to see the blurry colors of the room that you recognized from the layout, your room.

your room without paintings, canvases, and your easel in the corner.

instead, you see a dressmaker's mannequin with a measuring tape hanging around the neck in its place. the corner of the room behind it—that used to store your blank and filled canvases—is now rolls and rolls of fabric. on the desk, there is a small sewing machine with rolls of colorful thread seated inside a box beside it. you look at the wall beside your bed and instead of seeing your watercolor and gouache paintings, you see sketches of outfits and pictures of models on the runway with notes on their fashion house, s/s or f/w collection, and the year on a ripped paper that you recognize lies your handwriting.

you look down at your body to see that you're wearing a tank top and shorts, the kinds of clothes you are never comfortable wearing. that's when you realize that your alarm is still blaring and you grab your phone to stop it when you see the lockscreen of the phone.

a mirror selfie of you with thick makeup and a black short slip dress with gold pieces of jewelry on your hands and neck.

it's you but different.

a notification banner shows as you stare at yourself long enough from someone massaging you and your eyes widen when you see the name.

karin <3: (y/n) baby don't forget about that take-out you owe me!! he's gonna come right before noon.

you're friends with karin?

you dropped your phone on your bed and stood up so quickly you almost trip yourself. you look around the room, seeing a few unfinished sketches of dresses and fashion magazines, a collection of makeup more than you use, and your open wallet where you see your university id card with an almost unrecognizable photo of you and your major.

fashion design major.

you felt your breath halt as you pick up your wallet to look at it closely. she, well, you looked so different, so poise and elegant. so confident in herself. you put down your wallet to feel calluses on your fingertips instead of on the side of your fingers like you used to have when you paint, a proof of your struggle of being a fashion design major and tailoring clothes as you're dealing with pins and needles.

a set of knocks on your door startled you as you look towards it while gnawing your lips. should you open it? you have to found out soon enough. maybe it's minjeong but instead of playing violin, she plays the piano? cello? brass instruments? or even a different major like theater, maybe near yours like literature. or she doesn't even go here. what about herin? is she here?

you walk to the door, resting your hand against the same texture you felt back in your, literal, room, your hand sliding down to the knob, and opening it. you stumble back when you suddenly felt hands cupping each side of your cheek and something on your lips. someone's lips on yours.

you felt the figure who is kissing you moving you inside your room and closing the door to then pushing you against it, hands roaming all over your body as your hands chase them. you held onto their hands when they are on your cheeks and pull yourself away to see them when you saw a face you never thought you see with your own eyes.

"soobin?"

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