#full of cheese and ready for beans?

[enjustakelover0269]

When my teachers ask the class, “How are you today?” I can hardly resist the urge to reply, “Full of beans and ready for cheese, [sir/ma’am/xer/professor].”

They have yet to provide a reaction. As I am quiet, I doubt they hear me. I shall provide updates as to their reactions as this continues.

[uluvjay]

Trip to Boston-W.Smith & M.Celebrini

Will Smith x fem! Reader x Macklin Celebrini

In which Will & Macklin return to Boston to pay a visit to their girl and attend the annual bean pot.

Warnings?: poly! Relationship, kissing, cursing, bets, flirting, pet names, slightly suggestive?, technically underage drinking(even tho Mack’s legal back home), sorry if I missed any errors!

“Can’t believe you’re not supporting Bu” Macklin shook his head from his spot beside you in the passenger seat.

“Baby I go to Bc, I can’t be caught rooting for our biggest rival. My boyfriends school or not.” You laughed.

The brunette shook his head at you dramatically pressing his hand to his chest mocking a broken heart.

“Don’t worry Mack one of your practice shirts is under my Jersey.” Will piped up from the backseat.

Macklin smirked at that knowing Will was taking pride in you still attending Bc and supporting his old school giving them some more support for the bean pot.

“I’m not supporting Bu, but I’ll always support you.” You smiled patting his thigh.

Your relationship with the boys definitely wasn’t normal, you and Will had been dating for three years but had known each other since you were kids. You two had known Macklin for a while however the boys didn’t get close till their season in San Jose started.

When you went to Visit Will for his first game you couldn’t help the way you gravitated towards Macklin, his kind words making you blush as easy as Wills did. You felt ashamed at first that another man made you feel the way your boyfriend did but when you brought it up to Will he opened up about his own feelings.

Leading you three to now, happy and in love. The world didn’t know about your relationship with both of them, you were known as Wills girlfriend and Macklin was one of your closest friends.

“Thanks babe.” He smiled kissing your hand that had been interlocked with his over his lap.

“Of course, besides you guys are about to get destroyed tonight. Gotta make sure you know how much I still love you.”

-

Those were your famous last words as you sat next to Will, sinking further down in your seat watching as Macklin waved a Bu flag outside the suite after their second goal in two minutes.

He was grinning from ear to ear as the crowd around him started chanting his name, Lane right beside him hyping up the student section.

“We’re never gonna hear the end of this.” Wills voice was full of defeat as he spoke.

“I’m ready to give you my jersey and push you out there.” You shook your head.

“If it wasn’t against the rules I would be.” He scoffed eyes running over the number 6 jersey you wore of his.

He was on his feet and cheering a period ago when Gabe scored the opening goal and now he was sulking in his seat watching as his boyfriend had the time of his life watching his old team dominate the ice.

“Time to take that jersey off baby, I got something way better.” Macklin cheesed brightly as he entered the suite, a bright red Boston University jersey in his hands, the back reading “M. Celebrini”.

“Where did you even find that?” Will asked.

“I have my ways.” The Canadian shrugged dropping the material in your lap.

You sighed in despair looking between the blonde sat beside you and the jersey in your lap, you were proud to attend your school but right now there was no way you were walking past an entire section of Bu students in your smith jersey on the way out plus how could you say no to Macklin’s sweet eyes.

“Sorry babe.” You apologized to Will kissing his cheek before standing and stripping off his jersey leaving you in one of Macklin’s old shirts.

You pulled the red jersey over your head feeling like you were breaking every law of being a Boston College student.

“This feels wrong.”

“But you look amazing, reds truly your color baby.” Macklin smirked.

“Thought teal was her color?” Will teased bringing up the boys words from when you sported a sharks jersey a few weeks ago.

“Every color is her color.” Macklin smiled.

You blushed at his words grabbing the younger boy and pulling him to a secluded part of the suite so you could place your lips on his.

He smiled softly into the kiss his large hands wrapping around your waist as he pressed you against him.

You two were interrupted by the roaring cheers of the Bu crowd around you, the bruins goal horn screeching through the arena signaling another goal for the terriers.

“That’s three Smitty.” Macklin was quick with his words as he pulled back from you, shooting the blonde behind you a smirk.

“I said if you won, games not over yet.” Will huffed staying hopeful despite there not being much time left on the clock.

You and Macklin made you ways back to the seats each taking a side of will as you watched the final minutes tick down.

And it didn’t take long before the final buzzer for Bu to score again making it a 4-1 win in the bean pot, you felt awful for your friends watching as the boys skated with their heads down defeat written on their faces.

Macklin did his best to not gloat knowing Will would be upset and feeling for his friends but he had to remind the blonde about their bet before he disappeared down to the ice to celebrate with Lane and their old team.

“My name is going to look beautiful on your back when you put that Canada jersey on smitty.” Macklin grinned throwing an arm over Wills shoulder.

You gasped at the words realized they’d put another bet on this game just like they did when the two schools played each other a few weeks back.

However this one was a bit more then just schools, it was countries and if there was one thing Will prided himself on more than just being a Bc alumni it was getting to play and win gold for his country.

“You didn’t…” you trailed looking between the two boys.

“Oh he did.”

“We swept them! I thought we had this in the bag, that the boys would Win but here we are.” Will groaned throwing his head back dramatically.

You patted his thigh comfortingly knowing he wasn’t gonna take this easily, he wasn’t gonna be happy wearing the jersey once the boys returned to San Jose against the Avalanche following their long road trip.

“Don’t worry I’ll go easy on you it’ll be my personal one, not one I beat you in.” Macklin threw out and you couldn’t help but laugh at that knowing he had been shitty over having to wear Will’s winning jersey.

With a loud sigh Will threw his boyfriend a pleading look using those baby blues the best he could, “Do i really have to?”

“Yes, now I’m going down to see the team. I’ll meet you guys back at the hotel?”

“Yeah I don’t think there’s gonna be much celebrating going on at the campus.” You replied.

Will nodded in agreement both of you bidding Mack a goodbye as he slipped out of the suite, you and Will gathering your belongings and following behind shortly after.

You two stopped in the Bc locker room to share a few words with the boys, ignoring the teasing at the sight of you in a terriers jersey you caught up with some of the other girlfriends before returning to Wills side and heading out.

You gave him your car keys allowing him to drive from Td garden to the hotel he and Macklin had rented a room in for the few days they were in Boston.

You’d be staying with them since they arrived seeing it much easier then having to get in trouble for having both staying in your tiny dorm where they weren’t even allowed to be after 10pm.

The car ride was quiet the two of you making small talk while you scrolled through social media smiling at all the pictures and videos of Macklin with his old team.

It hurt seeing your school lose but your heart was quickly warmed seeing your boy happy and smiling with his friends.

“What’s got you cheesing over there?” Will asked.

“Macklin celebrating.” You answered honestly, waiting for him to pull to a stop light before turning your phone towards him.

Will couldn’t help his own smile that formed as he looked over the tweet, he was hurting to but just like you seeing Macklin happy made up for it.

Once you two made it back to the hotel you were quick to change into pajamas, Wills consisting of shorts and no shirt while you sported one of his practice shirts and sleep shorts.

He was ordering room service when you saw the texts from Macklin come through your phone.

Going out wit the boys, be back as soon as I can.

Don’t let will take all the cuddles, love ya

You giggled softly knowing how much of a cuddle bug he was, Will liked to cuddle too but he liked to hold you where Macklin wanted nothing more but to be tucked into your side with his face in your neck.

I’ll make sure to save you a bunch of cuddles, we love you too.

Have fun & be safe

“Mack’s going out with the team.” You informed Will noticing he had set the room phone down.

“Oh you are gonna have so much fun with drunk Mack” he laughed as he climbed up the bed to lay next to you.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked curiously.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

His voice was calm but the smirk that sat on his lips had your mind racing at all the possibilities.

-

Two hours later you found yourself on top of will as he kissed down your neck teeth nipping at the bare skin of your throat, your fingers tangled in his soft curls.

You weren’t really sure how you got here but you weren’t complaining especially when his hands snuck under the cotton of his shirt you wore thick fingers trailing against your bare skin.

You reconnected your lips in another hot kiss whimpering against his mouth when he pulled you down to grind against him.

His fingers were seconds from tugging your shirt over your head when three loud knocks pounded against the door.

You jumped back in surprise sliding off Will so he could go open and see who it was.

You made yourself comfortable against the headboard listening to the voices as the heavy door was pulled open.

“This belongs to you now, he’s not wasted but definitely not sober”

It was Aiden and from the sounds of it he was hanging over your other boyfriend to Will.

“Thanks man, I’ll make sure he gets to bed.” Will laughed softly.

It didn’t take long for the slurred voice of Macklin to fill the room, “Honey I’m home” he laughed as he and Will came into sight.

“Looks like you had fun.” You spoke up watching amusingly as he drunkly stripped from his sweater and jeans.

“So much fun, but I missed you guys.” He smiled finally climbing into bed when he was ready now dressed in sweatpants.

You held the blanket open for him as he moved towards the bed however what you weren’t expecting was him to plop down right on top of you.

His head tucked into the crook of your neck while his arms wrapped around your body, his lips kissing your collarbone as he settled in.

You ran your fingers through his soft locks admiring the way his face relaxed and the soft smile that stayed on his lips.

Will climbed into bed beside the two of you leaving enough space in case Macklin would want to move over.

“Night Smitty” you spoke softly towards the blonde giving him a soft peck.

“Hey! Where’s mine?” The Canadian in your lap whined dramatically.

You and Will both laughed at his expression as he picked his head up.

“Sorry baby thought you were sleeping.” You apologized.

“It’s fine-now kiss me” he demanded pulling your face towards his.

The kiss was completely different from his usual ones, this was sloppy and slow as your lips moved in sync. You could taste the peach high noons he no doubt had been downing as his choice of drink.

However when you tried to pull away he was pulling you right back sitting up even more to get a better position to kiss you even harder.

Will laughed at the sight of you two, the first time he’d experienced a drunk Macklin he was tackled to the bed and was forced to play with the boys hair till he fell asleep.

He wasn’t sure what did it and neither was Macklin but whenever the boy had alcohol in his system he couldn’t help the way he needed to be loved on and get attention.

You two went until you physically couldn’t keep kissing him without passing out, Macklin whined when you pushed his face back but he quickly felt the burning in his chest.

His eyes ran over your face admiring your cherry red cheeks and swollen lips, how pretty you looked spent and breathless.

He thankfully felt like the kisses were enough for the night tucking himself back into the crook of your neck and it didn’t take long for soft snores to fill the room.

“How was that?” Will teased.

“Tasted like high noons but I can never say no to him” you shook your head still trying to catch your breath.

“Yeah he knows how to do that to people” will grumbled thinking about the fact he’d be wearing a Canadian jersey in a few weeks.

You nodded in agreement allowing yourself to get comfortable and soon all three of you were sleeping peacefully.

-

My valentines gift to the WillMack community!

[multiheadcanons]

MERCS AND BIRTHDAYS

scout: june 28th, 11:15AM. cancer. big birthday guy. likes and expects a full showing of appreciation for the entire month that he is the birthday boy. forgets half the time that he shares the month with snipes, and it kind of annoys him that he has to share his birthday month with snipes, so he celebrates snipe’s birth month in may so he can have the month of june to himself. this has literally never worked. but the team will indulge him come the second. likes to pregame at the base and then barhop in town. birthday meal of choice is chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes, no gravy and two fluffernutters a la mode, drizzled in caramel. a decadent dessert for the birthday boy.

soldier: july 3rd, 11:59PM. cancer. if he didn’t love his mother so much, he would hate her. she couldn’t hold him in for one more minute? just one? come ON, MOM. he was SO. CLOSE. to having the BEST BIRTHDAY IN THE WORLD. he is always the first person to fire off a firework for the fourth of july, and if anyone shoots off a firework before july 3rd, 11:59PM he will find and rob them bloody and blind. the team came to the decision to only tell soldier (and america) happy birthday at the same time, since he seems to take independence day much more seriously than his own birthday. he has corrected them before, and they have insisted so hard that he didn’t know his own birthday that he let himself believe it. he doesn’t even remember why he doesn’t like july third. so now he just robs people of their fireworks that day. soldier gets the best cuts of steak for his birthday, the coldest beer, and is always served first.

pyro: november 13th, 10:10PM. scorpio. pyro doesn’t want to hear happy birthday until 10:10PM, because that was when they were born. until then, it’s not their birthday! the next day, the whole team is going to chuck e. cheese. pyro will point at one of the items on the very top shelf, that costs fifty million tickets, and the team has two hours of unlimited play to get the amount of tickets needed to get that for their birthday. the team has found their own ways to do this, and they have never failed their objective. pyro will greatly enjoy the pizza and ice cream for their birthday, but if engie insists on cooking them a dinner on their actual birthday, they ask for rice and red beans. not canned beans, the kind that take all day to cook. the texan now knows that when pyro’s birthday is coming up he needs to start on the beans the day prior so they’re ready in time for dinner.

demo: october 12th, 9:41AM. libra. demo wants the day off. let him drink and sleep. he doesn’t want anything more than that. but the team will celebrate him anyway, because they know if he’s the only teammate that doesn’t get a party of some sort then he’s gonna be hurt by that; and they love tavish. love him enough to make him the booziest, gooiest rum cake with a scrumpy ganache potent enough to kill three elephants in an hour. and he gets the whole thing. nobody will even ask for a slice. but they’ll all stop by on his day off and tell him happy birthday. he’ll convince the entire team to “strike” for the day. it’s his birthday command, nobody will do anything for the entire 24 hours. as a matter of fact you will be banished to the battlefield if you dress up. dress in your nastiest clothes and go to bed.

heavy: august 18th, 2:37AM. he’s just a leo to me idk that’s my big guy and he gets whatever he wants for his birthday. and it changes every year. one year he demands nothing but a clean sweep on the battlefield. death is not an option. failure is not an option. give him everything you’ve got or catch his wrath. another year he just… disappears. comes up missing for a week or two. another year he wants to go on a hot air balloon ride and he wants the team with him; everyone on the same balloon. he’s never been on one before. another year he just locks the door to his room and reads. normally he is not very present for engie to make him anything that he could make confidently, so he defaults to chicken and dumplings and makes sure he has a hearty helping when he’s ready for it.

engineer: april 5th, 4:53PM. aries. oh it’s really party time. engineer learned if he wanted a party he liked he had to throw it himself, and everyone across both teams get an invite. whether they show up or not is on them, but he knows his team will be there. the blu sniper will always show up, and the blu engineer will always show up. it’s technically his birthday too, and he didn’t even have to plan the party. nobody has verbalized any issues with this, so that’s all fine, as far as engineer was concerned. the itinerary is as follows: everyone takes the day off. nobody on either team is to work. arrive in two outfits layered on top of each other. pregame from 9AM to 11AM. nobody except the designated drivers should be leaving there sober. depending on attendance, they will take up to three company vans to this bar about five hours out. ideally you arrive exactly at 4:30. park around the corner, ensure lack of cameras, get dinner, pregame again. hard. don’t worry about the drive, the restaurant engie chose is a walk away. dine and dash, be out by 5:43. move quickly, they’re racing the police force now. go to the bar. at this point he will loudly yell “it’s my birthday!” to an absolutely empty bar. somehow this will sway the bartender to give drinks on the house. get shitfaced. designated drivers are now lookout, so preferably a sniper and a scout. people who can get to the car quickly to get them out when the time comes. when the police sound to be three blocks away (scout knows what that sounds like) lay on the horn until everyone is in the car. head count. catch the stragglers. lead officers in a high speed chase on two separate highways. eliminate threats. get home unharmed. it’s fun for everyone but the designated drivers.

medic: february 15th, 12:02AM. aquarius. cupid missed him by two minutes and now the man dissects the things he loves. he shared his birthday with his father, so the doctor will normally just go home for it. he’ll be back on the 18th. he likes to spend it with his mother. they go have dinner, they drink, they catch up, they shop a little, he tells her about the team. and his mother is happy to spend it with him! she loves her little boy, and it doesn’t matter that his kill count is easily in the hundreds and he’s been a grown ass man for at least three decades, that’s her little baby boy and she will never say no to celebrating his birthday with him. they have a good time. she makes him a red velvet cake and they go to town on it. the absolute sloppiest you will ever see this man is on his birthday. guaranteed one fist fight if they go out for drinks.

sniper: june 1st, 5:53PM. gemini. he’s not used to it being hot during his birthday. chronic middle child. once scout registers that june is around the corner snipes will essentially get shafted when it comes to a birthday plan. but the team won’t let him forget it too much. he always finds it odd that they’re asking him what he wants to do that day until he checks the date. then he remembers “oh, right! it’s my birthday! i’m gonna take the day off”. engie brings him some pot brownies and he spends the day baking in his van. if he’s feeling social he’ll convince everyone to go to the lake with him.

spy: september 19th; 3:37AM. he’s a virgo because i said so. the team will buy him a bottle of wine and he sits in his smoking room with the door locked. nobody knows what he does in there on his birthday, just that sometimes they can hear his laughter past the door. so whatever he does, he’s certainly enjoying himself. takes it upon himself to cook the team dinner that night. salmon, asparagus, and gnocchi. nobody is allowed to help. makes an espresso martini with a small scoop of vanilla bean ice cream for dessert. goes to bed happy and tipsy, wakes up hungover the next day.

[slippinmickeys]

I got a Funfetti prompt (I think on Twitter? I don't know, I can't find it.) And this is in answer to that prompt. If this was you, please give me a shout and I'll make sure to acknowledge you on AO3!

William at the kitchen table doing homework, Krypto at his feet. 

Mulder was making dinner, using far too many pots and pans, greasy oil popping onto the stovetop, onto the backsplash, onto the floor. He would try to clean it up later, but it would mostly smear. She would end up cleaning it herself even after asking him to do it, which he would gamely try. Fifteen years living with the man and she still couldn’t tell if it was weaponized incompetence or if he really couldn’t see the mess. 

“Mom, what’s the medical term for a nose bleed?”

Scully looked up from her laptop, her late-40’s brain taking a full ten seconds to switch gears. God, she was tired. 

“Epistaxis,” she finally answered, watching as William wrote this down. 

She was just shifting her attention back to her work when William asked another question. “Is there a medical term for spontaneous human combustion?”

Mulder looked up, a dripping spoon halfway between the steaming pot on the stove and his mouth.

“I know this one—“ he started, but Scully interrupted.

“There is not ,” she said, with enough authority that William merely glanced at his father once quickly before nodding at his mother and once again putting pen to paper. 

Another minute later and he piped up again and Scully leaned back, giving up on actually getting any real work done. 

“Is there a scientific name for a sneeze?”

Scully had to actually give that one some thought.

“Sternutation,” she said. 

William looked back to his homework. 

“But also,” Scully said, feeling her oats just a little bit, “autosomal dominant compelling helio-ophthalmic outburst.”

William sat back a moment, looked a bit like he was doing math in his head. “Wait—“ he said. 

Scully couldn’t help but smile. “Yes,” she said. “The acronym is ACHOO.”

Both William and Mulder turned to look at her. Even Krypto raised his head. 

“Though,” she went on, not really noticing their gaze. “That generally refers to the incognizant, uncontrollable sneezing in response to the sudden exposure to bright light, typically intense sunlight. Also known as photic sneezing.”

When she looked up, all three males were staring at her. 

“What?” she asked innocently. Then, “What class is this for, exactly?”

William refrained from answering, turning his attention completely—and pretty obviously artificially—back to his work. 

Mulder appeared suddenly at her elbow. “Taste,” he said, holding out a spoon, his hand cupped beneath it.

He was making some kind of sweet baked bean dish, which contained entirely too much sugar and highly processed meat. It smelled wonderful. 

She took a taste. “It’s good,” she said. 

“Doesn’t need salt?” he asked. 

She shook her head, looked up at him. “No.” 

Mulder held her eye for a moment, popped the spoon she had just tasted off of back into his mouth, giving her an interested look. 

William, across the room, watched them, a look she couldn’t name on his face. 

***

Morning, half a bagel stuck in her mouth, her purse shoved into the passenger side footwell.

William swung into the seat next to her, pushed his bookbag in between his two legs. They were running late. 

She took a bite of the bagel and pulled it out of her mouth with her right hand, looked at William. “Will you put it in reverse?” she asked around the bite, cream cheese sticking to the roof of her mouth. 

He nodded and put the car in gear and she backed out, one hand on the steering wheel, the other around the back of the passenger seat, trying not to smear cream cheese into the upholstery. 

When she’d pulled out onto the road, she took another bite. “Can you put it in gear?” 

Her son sighed and complied. 

“Is this some kind of test to make sure I’m ready for driver’s ed?” he asked. 

She peered over at him a moment before returning her eyes to the road. “Would you rather hold my bagel?”

“No,” he answered honestly. 

Five more bites and it was no longer a problem. 

As they swung east on the state road that led out to Will’s school, she caught the boy peering at her, that same look on his face from the night before. 

She glanced in his direction. “Everything okay?” she asked, casual. 

He hummed, noncommittal, and turned to look out the window. 

***

Evening. The bedside lamp casting a warm pool of light across the blankets, softening the corners of the room. 

Scully sat cross-legged, wearing an old Quantico shirt, a paperback face-up in her lap. She’d been quiet for the last few pages, starting at the wall more than the book. Mulder, half-reclined against the headboard, looked over from the file in his lap. 

“What’s up?” he asked, nudging her with his knee. “You’ve been on the same paragraph since 9:15.”

Scully sighed, pressing her fingers to her temple. She felt off. Like everything in her life was tilted by one single degree. 

“Scully?” 

“I think I might be starting menopause,” she said, the words tumbling out before she had chance to process them. 

Mulder blinked. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” she repeated. 

“Yeah. I mean–okay. Is that why you cried over the laundry detergent commercial this morning? Because I gotta be honest, that felt a bit extreme. Especially for you.”

She snorted, despite herself. “Yes. And my last couple of periods have been wonky. And I can’t sleep, despite being utterly exhausted. And I wanted to throw my computer out the window when I couldn’t find the PowerPoint file I literally named ‘FinalFinal2.’”

“Ah. The elusive ‘FinalFinal2.’ A classic.” he reached out and took her hand. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

She narrowed her eyes. “On what exactly?”

“Entering the next epic saga in the great tale of Scully. We’ve had Special Agent Scully, Scully the New Mom, Scully the Woman Who Yelled at a Telelmarketer for Calling During Dinner. Doctor Scully. Now we get Scully the Menopausal Mage. Hot flashes and mysterious wisdom.”

Scully laughed, covering her face with one hand. “You’re an idiot.” 

“I prefer ‘devoted life partner.’” He leaned over and kissed her temple. “Do we need to buy, like, a fan for the bed? Or ice packs? Do they make menopause merch?”

“I don’t think there’s merch.” 

“Missed opportunity.”

She sighed again, softer this time. “It just feels weird. If that’s what this is. Like, part me is relieved. But part of me…I don’t know. It’s the end of something.”

Mulder was quiet for a beat, then squeezed her hand. “Yeah, but it’s also the beginning of no more cramps, no more emergency tampon hunts, and you finally get to fully embrace your inner witch.”

Scully grinned. “I am a little witchy.”

“And I love that about you,” he said, nudging her shoulder. “Seriously. We’ll figure this out. One night sweat at a time.”

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I haven’t actually had that many night sweats.”

“Are you sure?” he murmured. “Because it feels like you’re radiating heat like a furnace.”

“It’s called inner fire,” she said. 

“Well your inner fire is making my arm sweat.” 

Scully pulled away from him, closing her book and setting it on the nightstand. Reaching up, she turned off her light and settled into her pillow. 

“Thanks, Mulder,” she said. 

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. 

***

William in the kitchen holding a dog treat, Krypto sitting at attention. 

Mulder was at the table with his tie undone, his sidearm still in a holster at his hip. There was a file in front of him and his brow was creased. 

Scully came down the stairs with a laundry basket pressed to her hip. 

Will looked up at her, his eyes going slightly squinty, that same puzzled, curious expression he’d had for the last several days settling onto his face. In front of him, Krypto gave a quick, sharp bark. 

“Don’t tease him, Will,” she said and that seemed to snap her son out of his daze. 

“What?” he said. “Oh.” He gave the dog its treat, who crunched it happily, if quickly. 

Scully headed through the kitchen and into the laundry room. When she emerged, Mulder was rubbing tiredly at his eyes and Will was trying to get Krypto to do a trick. Will’s gaze, when she walked back through with the empty basket, followed her. 

“Okay,” she said, pulling up short in front of her son. “What?”

Mulder glanced up to watch. 

“What what?” Will asked, puzzled. 

Scully put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been looking at me funny for days. Why?”

Will shrugged, looked at the floor, the dog, his father. Anywhere but at her. 

Scully huffed, a little irritated, and made her way back over to the stairs. 

When her foot was on the first step, Will finally spoke.

“There’s someone else here,” he said, his voice odd and low. 

A chill went up Scully’s spine and she paused and turned slowly to her son. 

Mulder was already on his feet, his hand on the grip of his gun. 

William looked briefly at his father. “Not like that,” he said quietly, and Mulder pulled his hand slowly away from his sidearm. 

Scully removed her foot from the step and slowly turned toward her son. 

“Then like what, Will?”

William looked down at her and then flitted his eyes back to hers. “Mom…” 

Realization hit like a freight train, and Scully brought a hand to her stomach, and then--feeling suddenly lightheaded, lowered herself to sit on the step, her hand gripping the bannister hard. 

“Scully!” Mulder said, moving quickly to her side. He kneeled down next to her and looked back up at their son. “Will?”

“I wasn’t sure at first,” William said. He looked at the floor, his voice like a whisper. “It was quiet. Small. But it’s growing.” 

Scully saw it the moment it occurred to her husband as well. 

“Wait, you mean–” Mulder started.

William looked up at them, gave a small, almost embarrassed smile. 

“Jesus,” Mulder said, twisting back to look at Scully. “Jesus…”

[hawkinsmafia]

𝔼𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕟: 𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗 𝔸𝕝𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕥

day 04 : Eddie

featuring Eddie Munson x reader (no assumed gender)

rating: general

cw: two minor, non-graphic mentions of sex; one brief mention of recreational marijuana use

wc: 1.6k

an: this is my first time doing one of these, and I was reminded of filling out those massively long surveys your friends would all email around in the 90s. I miss those. this was written for @corrodedcoffinfest!

𝔸𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕤 :: How does Eddie spend free time with his partner?

⟢ Eddie is the king of parallel play. Just being in the same room is enough to please him, even if you’re both absorbed in different activities. You’re lounging on the couch with a book while Eddie is noodling around with his guitar, or he’s at the table working on his campaign notes while you’re writing up a grocery list.

𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕪 :: What does Eddie admire about his partner?

⟢ I won’t lie, one of his criteria in a partner is how well you fit into his rockstar aesthetic. If you look like you’re ready to pose beside him on the cover of Rolling Stone, that’s a huge boon.

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 :: How does Eddie help his partner when they’re struggling?

⟢ Eddie’s love language is acts of service, so when you’re having a rough time, he’s insisting you take the night off and let him make dinner—and it’s probably just boxed macaroni and cheese and maybe a can of green beans if he thinks about it, but he makes it with so much love. Then afterward, if you’re amenable, he’d break out his private stash and pack a bowl for you.

𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖 :: What is Eddie’s first date with his partner like?

⟢ A disaster. He had big ideas of impressing you, but it was one of those nights where nothing went as he planned. He wanted to take you to an open mic night and wow you with his musical prowess, but the performance list was already full when you arrived. At a loss for a last-minute substitution, you wound up going to the Hawkins High carnival, where he was harassed by the popular crowd, he couldn’t manage to win a single game to get you a prize, and he nearly choked to death on his corn dog (then coughed so hard he almost puked). To top it all off, he was pulled over by a cop while driving you home, and the familiarity the cop had with Eddie clearly announced that he had regular run-ins with them. And to this day, Eddie has absolutely no idea why you invited him inside when he finally got you home, or asked to see him again tomorrow for a do-over.

𝔼𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝 :: Is Eddie more dominant or submissive in his relationship?

⟢ Eddie is a very easy switch. He can and will take either role depending on his mood and yours, and can switch from one to the other with a moment’s notice.

𝔽𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 :: What is it like when Eddie and his partner argue?

⟢ Honestly, Eddie doesn’t argue with you very often. He struggles with feelings of inadequacy and fears the day you’ll wake up and realize he’s a worthless, white trash loser, and he’s afraid of driving you to that realization early. Much more common between you are the more playful, low stakes disagreements, like which dresser drawer to put socks and underwear in (the top one, obviously) or whether peanut butter belongs in the fridge or not (no). These ‘arguments’ are usually settled with a dice roll.

𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕥𝕦𝕕𝕖 :: Does Eddie acknowledge how much his partner does for him?

⟢ Oh god, yes. See above for those feelings of inadequacy, he is grateful as hell that you gave a freak a chance and somehow found him worthwhile, at least for now.

ℍ𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕪 :: Does Eddie keep secrets from his partner or does he share everything?

⟢ Eddie couldn’t keep anything from you to save his life. He tells you everything, and everyone knows that if they tell Eddie something, they’re really telling the both of you because he’ll tell you immediately.

𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 :: Has Eddie’s partner inspired him to grow or change in any way?

⟢ Your presence in his life has made him more focused and given him more drive. His rockstar dreams were just a farfetched fantasy that he toyed with before, daydreams of a better life, but now with you in the picture, he craves that success to be more than make-believe.

𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕪 :: How does Eddie handle jealousy in his relationship?

⟢ Eddie doesn’t fall victim to jealousy all that often. Those occasions when he does feel it flare up, though, it’s because he saw someone else flirting with you, and his response is to go over there and slip an arm around you, maybe give you a slightly-too-deep kiss, and remind the other person that you’re already spoken for.

𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤 :: Is Eddie a good kisser?

⟢ He’s not too bad! He doesn’t have a whole lot of experience when you first get together—there haven’t been many people in Hawkins willing to take a chance on a Munson—but he does have some natural talent, and he’s a quick learner with practice.

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕗𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟 :: How does Eddie confess his love to his partner?

⟢ In song. He stresses out for a while over how to get to the next level with you, and he finally decides that since music is his forte, he’ll write you a song and perform it for you.

𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕒𝕘𝕖 :: Would Eddie want to marry his partner?

⟢ Eddie would be one of those guys who proposes to his partner and then stalls in the engaged phase for years, putting off the actual marriage. It’s not that he doesn’t want to marry you (he does!), but he’s worried (perhaps subconsciously) about tying himself to you and becoming a weight that holds you back, ruining your life by making you a Munson.

ℕ𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 :: What does Eddie call his partner?

⟢ Princess, sweetheart, baby, babe. If he’s in a goofy mood, he’ll call you ‘my liege’ (often with a deep bow and a thick accent).

𝕆𝕟 ℂ𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕕 ℕ𝕚𝕟𝕖 :: What is Eddie like when he’s in love?

⟢ Oh god, I hate to say this, but I think he’s that guy who kind of slowly starts drifting away from his friends in favor of spending time with his partner instead, at least for a while, and it causes tension between you and them. When he starts cancelling Hellfire at the last minute and not showing up to band rehearsal, the others start getting angry with him.

ℙ𝔻𝔸 :: Does Eddie openly share affection with his partner, or is he more private?

⟢ This man would fuck you in the hallway at school if you asked him to. Once you’ve made it clear that you aren’t afraid of everyone knowing you’re with him, he can be downright obnoxious with his affection. You’re the couple making out in the hall during class change, causing a traffic jam. You’re the couple who gets caught in closets and bathrooms at every party. More than once, Wayne has had to clear his throat rather loudly to remind Eddie that he’s still in the room.

ℚ𝕦𝕚𝕣𝕜 :: What’s a random action Eddie performs for his partner?

⟢ He learns your routine and makes a point to ask if you want a ride to work today before you even say anything, or he’s already waiting for you outside your classes so he can walk with you to your next one.

ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 :: How romantic is Eddie?

⟢ Very romantic. He’s making you new mix tapes weekly. Whenever he stops for gas, he always comes back to the van with your favorite snack without being asked. (He may have taken the five-finger discount, but it’s the thought that counts!) He holds doors open for you with a sweeping bow. He makes a big production of giving you a pin off his battle vest or one of his rings.

𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 :: How does Eddie help his partner achieve their goals?

⟢ You have never heard a pep talk until Eddie gives you one. He is a stalwart and unwavering pillar of support, and no one believes in you as much as Eddie believes in you.

𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕝𝕝 :: Does Eddie like to experiment and try new things, or does he prefer familiarity?

⟢ Eddie is always down to try something new, especially if it’s something you’re interested in. Whether it’s a new movie in a genre he doesn’t gravitate toward, or heading into the city to try a new restaurant cuisine that’s caught your attention, or a new bedroom activity, Eddie’s down for it.

𝕌𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 :: How well does Eddie know his partner?

⟢ Pretty damn well. Sometimes you might think he’s not listening while you’re talking, but even when he looks distracted, he never misses a word. He knows your favorite color, the foods you hate, your class or work schedule, the kind of future you daydream about. If you have a menstrual cycle, he doesn’t have it memorized but he can always tell immediately when your uterus is making problems.

𝕍𝕒𝕝𝕦𝕖 :: How important is Eddie’s relationship to him?

⟢ It’s literally the single most important thing in Eddie’s life. It’s the greatest thing he’s ever had, and he knows he doesn’t deserve anything this good. He loves you more than his guitar, which speaks volumes on its own.

𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕 :: A random fluffy headcanon.

⟢ The first year you were together, Eddie very nearly forgot your birthday. It wasn’t until a quarter to midnight that he remembered, and he tore out of the trailer like a man on fire to get over to your place before midnight, nothing but apologies and affection and promises to make it up to you this weekend. Since then, he goes out of his way to make a big deal of your birthday every year.

𝕏𝕆𝕏𝕆 :: Does Eddie like to be affectionate with his partner?

⟢ Oh yes. Given a choice, Eddie would be attached to your hip 24/7. He loves to hold your hand, put an arm around you, give you little kisses, cuddle up to you. If acts of service is his primary love language, physical touch is a close second.

𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 :: How does Eddie cope when he’s missing his partner?

⟢ If at all possible, the quickest cure is to just go see you. Eddie’s liable to show up at your place at any hour of the day or night, looking a little lost and forlorn, just wanting to see you. If you’re unreachable like that, oh, how this boy pines for you. He’s a mopey, moody, melancholy mess. Wayne has to tell him to go outside and get some sunlight before he makes the mold in the trailer flourish with that storm cloud over his head.

ℤ𝕖𝕒𝕝 :: To what lengths would Eddie go for his relationship?

⟢ Eddie would brave the Upside Down alone to preserve your relationship. He would bitch and moan the entire way, but he would do it if it meant keeping you.

[chococara25]

Thanksgiving

AU where Buck woke up, thinking about Tommy and decided to cook for Thanksgiving, baking crusty pecan pies & pumpkin pies, delicious green bean casseroles and sweet potato gratins, cheesy cauliflower cheese with turkey bacon bits, creamy mashed potatoes and the classic stuffings.

After done with baking and cooking, he realized he had no one to give it to (Everyone would just give him weird looks if he brings everything to potluck Thanksgiving dinner, plus they had forbid him from cooking) and wondering if he should donate to the homeless shelters cos at least someone can sleep warm with a full stomach when Lucy Donato texted him out of nowhere complaining how everyone is swamped in calls all day long and how hungry they are including Tommy, who came in to cover someone's shift and EPIPHANY!! He can just give them to the 217 AND check on Tommy at the same time.

He starts to pack everything before separating some food into different containers and stick a sticky note on each of them. He then unload the bread loaves and cookies he had been making for the past week into a basket cos waste not, want not right?

Tommy coming back from a weird call involving some idiots trying to make turkey barbacoa in their backyard when he saw everyone gathering around the dining table, stuffing their face, moaning about the delicious food and praising the cook.

He was confused till he turned around to see Evan of all people staring at him, unruly curls and dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey. Lucy said you guys haven't eaten all day." Evan looked awkwardly at him.

(At the corner of his eyes, he can see Lucy slunking off guiltily, carrying a whole pie and weird a plate of cupcakes with her)

Evan looked as if he wanted to say something but looked away, his lips twisted unhappily. He pushed a bag full of containers and a basket full of bread and cookies at them before running away.

Tommy hid in one of the closets, checking the bag and basket, its contents each marked by a sticky note.

The Banana Loaf - "Everytime I think of calling you, I baked instead. Now my fridge is full but I'm still thinking about you."

The Snickerdoodle cookies - "Jee asked where cool uncle Tommy was. She misses her tea party partner."

Vanilla and raspberry mascarpone loaf cake - "I can't stop thinking how you would enjoy all the cakes and pastries I made for the past few months."

green bean casserole - "I still have your clothes and I kept wearing them to sleep cos its the closest thing I have to you because I have a hard time falling asleep without you holding me in your arms"

Carrot cake loaf - "I saw a helicopter today at work and I wonder if it was you flying it. We never did have that flying lesson."

cauliflower cheese - I'm sorry I never told you I love you when I really do. I love you and I missed every single minute the moment you walk out of my life.

pecan pie - I'm sorry I said the wrong things when I asked you to move in with me. I'm sorry I too much in the end for you and drove you away."

pumpkin pie - I'm sorry you felt pressured but I didn't lie, I really admire you and your confidence made me feel safe, being with you was like waking up for the first time from the lightning coma, I could breath again and you were the one who set me free.

sweet potato gratin - "You said you were my first but not my last. Tommy, you might be my first boyfriend but you definitely my last."

stuffings - "You are my beginning and my forever happy ending. I have no interest in looking for a different happy ending if you're not in it."

By the time he reached the last container, his eyesight were blurry with unshed tears.

Brownies - "Can we try one more time? I'm not ready to give on us."

Tommy was startled when the door to the closet swung open, Captain Pruitt looming over him with a plate of pecan pie in her hands. "I saw firefighter Buckley earlier when he dropped off the food. I don't know what's going on between the two of you and why both of you decided to break up, but Kinard, that man looks as if he still in love with you."

She panicked as Tommy burst into loud tears, holding the container of brownies to his chest.

Evan was cleaning up his kitchen, he was too tired and too emotionally wrung out to stay for the Thanksgiving dinner other than dropping off the last two pies for everyone to enjoy.

He frowned when he hear the doorbell, wondering if Maddie is going to stage another intervention on him when he opened the door, before staring in surprise.

Tommy was standing in front of him, still wearing his flight suit, holding the container with brownies and the sticky notes in his arms.

"Can we talk?" He asked with hopeful eyes.

Evan pulled him into the loft, closing the door behind them.

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Back Forty View (On Our Piece Of Ground)

3 - Twilight In The Mornin', 'Fore The Day Wakes Up

Pairings: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley-Owens, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky

Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)

Warnings: LOTS of detail, sorry. Also random SMUT hahaha. unprotected!piv (wrap before you tap) alcohol comsumption

A/N: Uh, so this got long and I refused to stop. As usual you get a little flashback for Tyler and Jake, and then there's the Wrangler's Christmas Eve Party with so much going on and I hint at an interesting pairing that I'm fully ready to explore even if every is gonna hate me for it. Everyone gives gifts and they eat and they play games. Then, where it got really out of my hands was at the SMUT. It just had to happen. And then Christmas morning SMUT. Whoops my hand slipped. Please enjoy the chaos!

Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03 @coloraturadiva @kmc1989

Jake and Tyler came down Christmas morning to Kenny sitting in the living room, holding a fat white dog that had a speckled left ear, some speckled brown across that same side eye, and a weird red and black speckled back foot. She had long nails and her ears were floppy and she wagged her long tail as the boys walked over to her. 

“Boys, this here's Dixie. She's an ole hound from a friend'a mine and she needed a home. So she's your Christmas present this year.” Kenny said and the boys descended on the dog, Tyler wrapping his arms around her and Jake rubbing her head and ruffling her ears with both hands. Jeanie hadn't seen the boys that happy for a Christmas present since she got them new ropes a few years ago. They had then proceeded to try to play ‘cowboy jousting’ in the snow that year every chance they got. 

With Dixie, it was a chance for the boys to learn to share something and care for something other than the horses, which they didn't share anyway. Dixie would truly be for both of the boys and they would have to compromise. And they certainly did. They took that dog anywhere and everywhere they could and they did it together, only making their brotherly bond strongly as they headed into high school. Tyler, Jake, and Dixie were inseparable.

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

Christmas Eve was cold and snowy in Stillwater, Oklahoma, but the Tornado Wrangler’s Christmas party was full of warmth and coziness. Javi, Kate, and Scott had arrived together, all coming from Kate's mom's house, where they'd had dinner. Boone and Lily arrived together as well and Dexter and Dani had carpooled. Sam and Georgia had slaved away for a good portion of the afternoon making food and cleaning the house. Dustin had gone home to his parent's for a few days, leaving Tyler and Jake in charge of the horses. 

The spread of food was impressive, with dishes such as buffalo chicken dip, macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, teriyaki meatballs, taco salad, and a shitload of barbecue ribs, brisket, and chicken with several different sauces. Jake's favorite Christmas time dish was also present, roasted duck breast, a la Georgia. Her father would make it every so often and her mother and she loved it but her sister hated it. So Georgia learned how to make it to piss off her sister. 

"I can't wait to try that." Sam said excitedly. As everyone settled either in the living room or in the kitchen with a plate of food, they all enjoyed the comfortable silence that filled the house. Georgia and Sam prepared plates for the dogs with a little bit of everything that was safe for them to eat.

"Wow. It's really crazy how much you two look alike but also so different.” Kate said, examining both Tyler and Jake separately. It is an easy feat with them sitting right next to each other, their significant others on their farthest sides from each other. That hadn't been by choice on Georgia and Sam's part. It had been strategically the boys decision so that they could pick off each other's plates. 

"Yeah we get that a lot when we're together. We are twins after all. Tyler just looks old because he's had to keep my ass in line all these years.” Jake smirked and his brother punched his shoulder gently before stealing a piece of duck off his plate.

"We're the same age, you dingbat.” Tyler said, as he leaned slightly into his wife. Georgia smiled and glanced at Jake.

"How's that duck?” She asked and Jake held a thumb up.

"Almost as good as our momma's.” He said, taking a huge bite of the piece Tyler had stolen half from, Georgia smiled warmly at him, as Tyler gave her an approving look. He'd nearly forgotten that she was a pretty decent cook and it appeared that Sam was as well. It was the baking that Tyler would die for though. Georgia could make a mean pie. Any and all pie, by Georgia, was good pie.

Everyone else seemed very content with their food and they all took their time munching, making some small talk here and there. This was the first time that Scott had been to a Wrangler party since the El Reno tornado and he had seemingly lightened up quite a bit. He and Javi had made their peace and moved on and Scott had a huge change of heart once Kate discussed with him how wrong it was what Storm PAR had been doing. He had actually grown to enjoy working with Kate and liked the way she challenged his knowledge. It seemed as though Kate had the attention of the two men and Tyler and Georgia both loved that for her. For now, Kate was focusing on her career but that didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun here and there.

After food, it was time for gift exchanges. Everyone gathered around in the living room, filling up not only the couches but the floor as well. Tyler had pulled Georgia onto his lap and Jake did the same with Samantha. Boone and Lily sat on the floor, as did Kate and Javi. Dexter, Dani, and Scott took up the other couch, and all the dogs were scattered around. The funniest placement of a dog had been Grits, who had leapt up on the back of the couch behind Tyler and placed his head on his human’s shoulder. Ballast sat at Jake’s feet, while Muster balanced on the arm of the couch by Sam. Rocco and Pancake sat in front of the fireplace which had been lit and was extremely warm now. Waffles was between Tyler and Georgia’s feet.

Scott had gotten everyone gift cards, a hundred dollars each, but he had a special bag for Kate that he asked she wait to open until later on. She smirked at him and nodded, thanking him. His card to Javi was for his favorite coffee shop. The one’s for Dexter, Dani, Boone, and Lily were for Walmart. He apologized to Jake and Sam for not getting them anything. 

“Nah it’s totally fine, you guys didn’t know we’d be here to be fair. We didn’t expect anything from anyone.” Jake explained and it seemed as though some of the parties in the room let their breath out in relief. No one had to feel bad now, but they still would just a little, deep down.

“That’s for the two of you, for little Jaycen.” Scott said as he handed Tyler and Georgia a card. Tyler let Georgia open it and Tyler’s eyes scanned over it. There was four hundred dollars placed neatly in the pocket of the card. Tyler’s eyes widened in surprise. He thanked Scott warmly and he smiled. “That’s from that bet Javi and I had...”

Next up was Dexter and Dani’s gifts. They’d purchased as a pair, giving everyone a hat, gloves, hand warmers, and a twenty dollar Tractor Supply gift card. They also handed Tyler and Georgia a separate card, which was for Jaycen. Tyler opened it this time and saw an Amazon gift card for fifty dollars so that they could get some baby supplies. 

Boone and Lily had also purchased gift bags as a pair. They did something similar to what Dexter and Dani did except they got everyone a t-shirt with a funny saying on it, a hot sauce, and a gift card to different fast food restaurants that they all stopped at during chases. Again, they’d gotten something special for Tyler and Georgia for Jaycen. A couple of packs of newborn onesies and some little shirts with cute sayings on them that Georgia held up for Tyler to look at. He wouldn’t say anything now but it made his heart ache with joy at how real everything was, seeing the baby clothes. They hadn’t even purchased anything yet. 

Javi got everyone a card with money in it and a bottle of some sort of alcohol.That was about as creative as he could get. He always said he was bad at giving gifts. He’d gotten wine for Dexter and Dani each, Tequila for Boone and Tyler, Whiskey for Georgia for when she wasn’t pregnant, Vodka for Scott and Kate, and Rum for Lily. He had gotten a bottle of wine for Jake and Sam after Tyler had told him about their engagement, figuring Tyler would end up giving it to them. He hadn't expected to be able to meet them in person, but it was a nice change of scenery. New faces. 

Kate was the champion gift giver, or so she touted. She got Dexter a new hat and a cozy sweatshirt. She got Dani a small set of tools that she’d be eyeing. She got Javi a gift basket that had specialty coffee, mugs, and flavor syrup. She got Scott a couple of nice polo shirts and a sweater, and a small bag just like he had with her that needed to be opened at another time. She'd made up a small bag for Lily, including a small blanket, and some Bath and Body Works items because even though Lily tended to be a tom-boy, she still liked her feminine creature comforts. Boone had been the hardest to shop for, and Kate felt bad that she had found nothing in particular so a gift card to Bass Pro Shop for a hundred dollars was all she could come up with. He was pretty damn happy with that anyway.

“Okay now there's somethin’ for Georgia, Tyler, and for Jaycen.” Kate said, handing them three bags. 

"Can I just say, we love and appreciate that y'all got stuff for Jaycen.” Georgia said as she opened her bag. There was a comfortable looking sweatshirt that said ‘Kid Wrangler’ on it which made Georgia laugh. Tyler’s was also a sweatshirt and it said ‘my other kid is my cattle dog’ to which he chuckled and thanked Kate. The present for Jaycen was a small shirt that he would probably need to grow into but it said ‘Littlest Tornado Wrangler reporting for duty’. 

“Kate, this Is awesome, thank you!” Tyler exclaimed. She smiled warmly and for the first time in a while, she actually felt like she belonged. 

Tyler helped Georgia off his lap and he stiffly walked over to a large box that was tucked behind the Christmas tree. He pulled shirts out first and handed one to everyone, then hats, both beanies and trucker hats, and then Georgia pulled out the sweatshirts. Tyler and Georgia had designed a logo for the barn and everyone was excited when they opened up the t-shirts to see it for the first time. Everything was black but the logo itself was in hot pink. It was a tornado, with a horse running around it like a barrel and said ‘Tennley-Owens Performance Horses’ in a bold but pretty font that was dainty but also looked like it could punch you in the face.

“This is sick! You guys did a great job on the logo.” Boone said excitedly. He had known they were working on it and had begged to see it but Tyler wouldn't budge any.

There were still some presents under the tree, but those were for in the morning, for Tyler, Georgia, Jake and Sam to exchange amongst themselves. With gifts exchanged, Tyler opened a bottle of whiskey and poured some shots. Jake, Javi, Kate, Scott, Boone, Lily, and Tyler all took one and downed it in celebration. Tyler poured them all one more and then spoke. 

“I just wanna thank y'all for coming, for bein’ the best team out there.” He nudged Jake. “Best brother out there.” Then he glanced at Georgia with the warmest smile possible. “And thank you for bein’ so supportive of Gee and I. We couldn't do any of this without this amazin’ support system. Y'all are the best.” He finished and they downed their shots. Tyler then began cleaning up the food, and Georgia came over to help. As everyone else cleared out of the kitchen for a few moments, they were left to themselves. Tyler paused, a piece of duck in his fingertips. 

‘Y'know. Jake won't admit it, but I will. You made this better than my momma.” He put the piece in his mouth, savoring it and licking his lips. Georgia stepped into his space, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck. She stretched up to kiss him as he finished chewing, tasting whiskey and the cherry sauce from the duck on his lips.

“Mmm, thanks. I've got a question for you, Ty.” She said, her voice dropping an octave. Tyler raised a brow, pushing his hips toward her. 

“Yes ma'am?” He leaned down to catch her lips, and before she asked her question, they soaked in the atmosphere of the night. The warmth of the house and the banter between their friends. The quiet click of the dogs nails as they shifted around on the old wooden floors. The sight of the couples in the group holding onto each other, and the inclusion of the singles, never to feel left out. 

“How excited are you for this baby?” Georgia asked, as they parted. He touched his nose to hers and let his eyes close, taking in a deep breath.

“More excited than words could ever say.” Tyler murmured, holding her tight, and feeling several little kicks from Jaycen. Georgia smirked and said ‘ouch’ with a smile. Tyler blew air from his lips. “He's gonna be a wild one, just like his daddy.”

“Nothin’ I can’t handle.” She said softly, placing her head on Tyler’s chest, while they took several more moments to themselves. There was loud laughter from the living room then and they both glanced over, seeing all smiles and bodies shaking with amusement. Tyler and Georgia stepped away from each and continued cleaning up all the food. They stole touches and glances as they did so and didn't realize that they had two observers from in the living room. Sam and Jake would look over occasionally and then look at each other and then wondered whether or not to go help them. 

It was once they had finished putting away dinner that Sam and Jake had strolled over. They helped place out a large tray of cookies and a few different pies. A rhubarb pie, a pumpkin pie, and an apple pie, all warm from a quick pop in the oven. Everyone filed in for dessert and drinks, but Dexter and Dani had decided they needed to get on the road, so they took theirs with them and some leftovers.

“We’re heading back to Arkansas and wanna get on the road before the snow gets any worse. Thank you for having us! Thank you for the gifts. We’ll see y’all after New Year’s!” Dani said, hugging everyone and Dexter did the same. 

Boone, Lily, Javi and Scott decided to post up at the kitchen table. Tyler and Georgia had offered them rooms if needed, but Lily had stopped drinking alcohol so that she could start the drive back towards Arkansas. They were going to try to get some good snow footage for the channel on their way, so they wanted to leave when the weather got worse on purpose. Kate, Javi and Scott had come altogether and Kate had elected to be the designated driver so they were covered there. The four at the kitchen table proceeded to play Cards Against Humanity, and Kate watched for a couple of rounds before she decided to sit on the floor with the puppies by the fireplace. 

Sam and Jake sat on the couch closest to the fireplace and Georgia laid across Tyler’s lap on the other, larger couch, drifting in and out of a light sleep. He knew she was completely wiped out after today. He vowed to tuck her in later, do night check on the horses, let the dogs out one last time before bed, and come back to cuddle. Georgia had been satisfied with his plan. She glanced over at Kate.

“Psst. Kate.” She whispered, snapping her fingers at the blond. Kate whipped her head around, but kept her hand on Waffles, who had joined Rocco and Pancake by the fire. 

“Yeah?” She asked, with a small smirk. Her eyes were wide. 

“So...Scott or Javi?” Georgia asked and Tyler, who had been checking some comments, looked over at her, curious as well. She shrugged.

“Javi is a really good, old friend...Scott is...I don’t know...not what I expected. He’s new...kind of like a fresh start, I guess? But...we’re not labeling anything so...” Kate explained, exchanging glances with Scott briefly. He hadn’t heard what they were talking about, but her look told him all he needed to know. 

“Not labeling it?. Has he taken you on any dates?” Georgia asked, sitting up slightly. Tyler helped her, readjusting himself so that she was snug between his legs. He placed a pillow between her back and his crotch so that she wouldn’t be leaning fully on him. 

“We’re not labeling it.” Kate said firmly, but with a lilt of humor in her voice still. Georgia smirked and relaxed back against Tyler, whose arm dropped from the top of the couch, where he had been petting Grits, to rest over her breasts. Georgia turned slightly to gaze at Tyler who wore a dirty smirk as he continued to read and reply to comments. His gaze never left the phone, but his hand began to massage circles into one of her breasts, coaxing her into closing her eyes. 

Jake was comfortable on the other couch, his arm over Sam’s shoulder. She had her head rested against his shoulder and one of her legs draped over his. 

“Can we talk about the fact that you and Tyler are twins? That’s insane.” Kate said, shifting to look at Jake. He smiled.

“He always says he’s the better looking twin, like. We’re the same. We would always argue about it too.” Jake chuckled and Tyler blew air from his lips.

“I am better lookin’. You’re too clean shaven. To be honest Jakey, you’re a little too gay lookin’.” Tyler chuckled and Jake had every reason to throw something at him, even though he knew his brother was joking, but he wouldn’t because Georgia was laying on top of him.

“If Georgia wasn’t layin’ on you...I’d come over there and beat your ass.” Jake murmured and Tyler glanced over, finally peeling his eyes from his phone with a toothy and mischievous grin. 

“C’mon over here. I’ll drop you from where I lay.” Tyler goaded and Jake shifted, a feral smirk on his lips. Sam glanced between them, not sure if they were serious. 

“Oh stop it boys. Tyler...” Georgia groaned, squeezing his knee. She knew they were kidding and weren’t going to do anything, Kate was giggling on the floor.

“Wait, wait. Who’s stronger?” She asked and they both said ‘me’ at the same time. They whipped their heads to look at each other and then laughed the exact same bellowing laugh. Everyone in the kitchen looked over, regarding the twins with humor and then focused back on their game. Tyler moved his hand from Georgia’s breasts, down to her stomach. He splayed his large hand across it and felt a small kick from Jaycen. Georgia’s eyes shot open and she smiled.

“You woke him up.” She whispered and Tyler said a small ‘sorry buddy’ before placing his phone down on the coffee table. He moved his other hand to her belly as well, then she covered his hands with hers. 

“I think we should have a ropin’ competition.” Tyler said, glancing over at his brother, who was watching him intently as if studying what he was doing for his wife. Jake shot him an easy smile.

“I haven’t roped in years. We didn’t do it with Kenny the past two years cause his arthritis has been so bad. Did you call them by the way?” Jake asked and Tyler nodded.

“Yeah. This mornin’. Kenny said he was actually feelin’ pretty good even though it was chilly. He said momma’s not feelin’ well so they’re not gonna stop by until after New Year’s.” Tyler explained as he could see worry flash over Jake’s expression. 

“She okay?” Jake asked and Tyler shook his head.

“Kenny said she just has a cough and the sniffles. She just doesn’t wanna get any of us sick, ‘specially Gee.” Tyler’s hands turned, intertwining his fingers with hers. She was breathing so quietly he thought she might’ve been asleep, but she wasn’t. She was just resting her eyes from the lights in the room. 

A couple more hours went by and as the rest of the Wranglers settled down. They were all fairly tired and had begun to clear up the cards. Kate had mosied over at one point and leaned on Scott’s shoulders. He glanced up at her and smiled but that was as much as they’d let on and let everyone see. 

When it was time for everyone to head home, they all thanked Tyler and Georgia for having the party. They all took home some food and dessert. They also all hugged Jake and Sam, happy to have finally met Tyler’s brother and his fiance. Boone had met Jake before so he left with a ‘nice to see you again’ and they left. Tyler and Jake put jackets and boots on and made their way out to the barn to do night check and let the dogs all have their last potty break before bed. The ladies cleaned up the last of the dishes and then said goodnight to each other and headed to their respective rooms. 

As quickly as they could, the brothers checked the horses’ blankets, fed them some more hay, and closed up the barn for the night, they both glanced up at the starry night sky where the moon was framed in a ring of ice, and flurries had just begun again. 

“Snow again? Damn. I don’t remember the last time we got this much snow.” Tyler rubbed his hand together and blew his breath into them as he nudged at Jake, who called for all the dogs. The pack of them came running from wherever they had all been on the arena side of the barn and bounded ahead of the brothers. 

“Man, I’ve been in Cali too long. I kinda miss this part of the country. I wanna see a tornado again.” Jake mused, making Tyler chuckle.

“You can stay as long as you want...or need. Or, you can always come back as much as you want. There will always be room here for you and Sam.” Tyler wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “I miss you a shit load. Miss my wingman.”

“Yeah...I missed you too. A whole helluva lot.” Jake said as he squeezed Tyler’s bicep playfully. They headed inside, brushing the snow of their jackets at the door and toweling off the dogs. They all placed themselves around the fireplace and on the couches for the night and respectfully let their humans go to bed.

Tyler found Georgia breathing softly, nearly asleep. She awoke briefly as Tyler settled under the covers beside her, stripped down to just his boxers so that he could effectively steal some of her warmth. She nuzzled close to him and he wrapped his arms firmly around her, a small noise of satisfaction emitted from his throat as they both easily fell asleep.

Jake, on the other hand, was still very awake. Sam was curled under the covers and when she felt Jake’s muscular frame wrap around her, she pressed back into him. He kissed her neck, then her shoulder, and then he pulled the covers down to expose her naked form. She giggled softly as he continued down her body.

“Have to be quiet, babygirl.” He whispered as his hands traveled up and down her body, eliciting soft whimpers from her the more he touched her. He draped the sheets over their bodies and without much more than a few swipes of his fingers, he was pressing inside of Sam. She gasped at how hot and hard he was for her, knowing that had been building up throughout the day. He leaned down to kiss her as he began to move, slow and deep thrusts that made Sam hang onto him for dear life. It wasn’t just the physical power he put into it but the gravity of the intimacy between them that made tears sting her eyes that she hoped he didn’t see. They were not out of sadness in any way. They were of happiness because Jake made her the happiest she’d ever been when she was with him.

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

Christmas morning was chilly and even more snow had fallen overnight. A true white Christmas.

Tyler and Georgia awoke early to go out and feed the horses, letting all the dogs out in the process. Georgia especially had come to like the little red dachshund for his attitude and courageous spirit. Grits could be a bit of a bull at times and where Rocco was older, he taught the puppy and little bit of respect. It was something that the Malinois could probably get across just as well, but the long and little red dog commanded the room when he walked in and that was good for the whole pack. Grits grew to like the little guy too, but his favorite was Ballast. He could rough house with the other male dog and Ballast could take everything that Grits threw at him. In a way,  the two dogs' relationship was symbolic of Tyler and Jake's. Cut from the same cloth, they as well as their human counterparts, were duty bound to protect their families. 

Jake and Sam slept in a little. It was about eight A.M. before Jake's eyes fluttered open, one at a time, and he was made very aware of where he had positioned himself. He was wrapped tightly around Sam, his returning muscles flexed protectively and possessively around her. One of her legs was over his and he was painfully hard against her core. The air in the room was cool but under the blankets it was an inferno and Jake's skin was sticky with sweat, not only from sleep, but from their love-making late last night. He'd nearly fallen asleep inside her. In fact, he was sure he had, so at some point he'd slipped out. 

Sam stirred, nudging him, her arms curled into his chest. Her head was tucked under his chin and Jake pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead. She inhaled their shared scent, sweat and sex heavy in her nostrils, bringing her out of her slumber. Jake reached up, tangling his fingers in her hair and guiding her lips to his. She whimpered softly, the thigh that was draped over him pulling him in further. 

“Merry Christmas, Jake.” She whispered and then sucked in a sharp breath as he, like last night, thrust into her leisurely. He didn't need to ask permission. There was an unspoken contract between them now, her movements giving him the go ahead. She would always hesitate if she didn't want him and he knew that deep in his core. And by far, morning sex was her favorite with him, because Jake was extra intimate when he'd just awoken. 

“Merry Christmas, Samantha. I love you.” He gently tugged at her roots, earning a soft moan from her. Her nails dug into his pecs, surely leaving tick marks behind. He growled in approval as he rocked slowly in and out, his movements barely there. 

“I love you too, Jake. I love you so much.” She nearly choked on the words as he increased the force, his loins burning with need for release. Her hands made their way to his hair, coaxing him closer and closer to the edge. His fingers left her hair and travel down, one set tracing heavy circles on her clit, the other kneading one of her breasts. His lips stayed locked with hers and before she could even say anything she was clamping down on his length and making him come first, following shortly thereafter with his help. She moaned into the kiss and she felt his lips draw up into a devilish smirk as he stilled, and spilled inside of her. 

“Ohhh god, Jake, it feels so good. You feel so good.” Her words were strangled, pleasure dripping from every syllable as he too voiced his ecstasy. He hummed, and pulled his fingers from her clit and grasped her hip, rubbing up and down her thigh. He purred as his mouth covered her again, his tongue caressing hers in a gentle gesture full of contentment. 

When they parted finally, they both let out heavy sighs, panting and sharing each other's air as they came down from their high. As the sage green depths of his eyes met hers, he saw surety. He saw emptiness of fear, and the pretty chocolate brown fill with delight as she shifted against him. Their noses touched as she searched, seeing only love reflect back to her in the morning light.

“This is the best present I could ask for, by the way.” He said softly and she let her lips touch his for a moment.

“Maybe soon, there will be another present on the way.” She murmured, and Jake's irises lit up at the thought of that. Never had he wanted something more than what she was giving him in that moment. Hope for the future and all the love she could ever spare.

They spent some time just touching each other as they untangled from the messy sheets. Then they dressed in comfortable clothes and headed downstairs where Tyler and Georgia had begun to make breakfast. Jake again, observed his brother's easy demeanor and gentle way around Georgia. Like he and Sam, they stole kisses and touches every chance they got, and they weren't afraid to let anyone see it either. Jake could only think in that moment how much love they had between them and how much they were going to give to the little boy that was due in a few short months. 

Jake always knew his brother would be a good father, because when they were younger, he took care of Jake. He always looked out for him but he taught him more than Kenny or Jeannie could about life. It had been the two boys against the world and even though their parents loved then unconditionally, the bond between the brothers was more than they could ever give. It was a different kind of love and one that Jake needed, especially now. Jake hadn't had any nightmares since coming down to Stillwater. He could only hope that he was on the back end of his mental strife and it was thanks in part to the environment that his brother fostered. 

They sat briefly for breakfast and then gathered on the couch. Tyler took the lead, handing out presents, knowing that there was one that he desperately wanted to save for the very end.

He gave Jake his first, from him and Georgia, a Carhartt jacket in a dark blue color that fit him perfectly. Jake had brought an old one with him that had rips and tears and had been well used but often forgotten in his closet in the warm California climate. In Jake's box underneath the jacket was also a tactical collar, two inches wide with a handle, and sandy brown with ‘Ballast’ embroidered in lime green. It was a little big so that the dog would grow into it. 

They gifted Sam a similar package except her jacket was a pretty lavender color, and Georgia had picked out a hat and gloves of the same shade. There were similar collars for both Muster and Rocco, hers being the sand brown with hot pink writing, and Rocco's with blue embroidering.

They had ordered the same type of collars for their own dogs, except theirs were grey bases with Grits’ color being red, Waffles was a light blue, and Pancake's purple.

It was then Sam and Jake's turn to give their gifts to Tyler and Georgia. Their gift to both of them was something they hadn't even been able to look at yet, but Sam had picked it out and Jake had agreed heavily on it. It was a crib for Jaycen, which Jake offered to help Tyler put together. They were ecstatic, seeing as they'd just finished painting the nursery walls. 

Then there were the individual gifts. Sam's to Jake was the boots, as well as an amalgamation of clothes, including hats, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and a couple of pairs of jeans. Jake had gotten Sam something that she couldn't have now, but could cash in any time he was back up in the air.

“I talked to Cyclone...he gave me the okay once I'm airworthy, I can take you up in a jet. I know you never got to and you've always wanted to.” She threw her arms around him and kissed him deeply. Not only did that mean a lot to her, but it would mean a lot that Jake kept his promise to her father, to keep her safe and to give her anything that he couldn't. 

Tyler's present to Georgia was the halters for her horses. When she opened the box and looked them all over, be could see her eyes get misty. 

“These are perfect, Ty.” She said hugging him. She drew back and pulled her phone out to show him a picture. “Lennon offered to go get it for you. Should be here this afternoon.” It was a blue pipe cattle roping chute. He'd been showing her pictures of different ones and he'd seen that particular one, almost brand new, up on Facebook Marketplace. He vowed he'd get one eventually, but Georgia could see how bad he'd wanted it. So she took a little from her savings and sent Lennon and Ophelia on an adventure to pick it up. 

“How'd’ you know?” He asked, kissing her forehead. She smirked.

“Just know things sometimes.” She laughed and Tyler conceded with her for that. 

There was one more present under the tree. A small box, left unopened. It was in pretty silver paper and it was no bigger than Tyler’s palm as he handed it to Georgia. She carefully unwrapped it, revealing a small blue velvet box. Georgia’s eyes shot up to look at Tyler, who was kneeling on one knee in front of her. 

“You already...” Georgia started but Tyler took the box and opened it, a beautiful diamond with a rose gold band sparking in the morning light. 

“I know but It didn’t feel right you not havin’ a ring. I know you said its not a big deal but it is to me. So now you have one. That is if you still want to be my wife.” Tyler joked and Georgia flung her arms around his neck, nearly strangling him. 

“Of course I still want to be your wife, you silly man!” Georgia exclaimed. “I would never want anyone else!”

A wide smile crossed Jake's lips, not knowing the full story,but not needing to. Whatever Tyler's reason for not having a ring in the first place was, it just showed that when he was committed to something or someone, he gave it his all. Jake knew Tyler made brash decisions and this had clearly been one of them, but it had also been calculated. Tyler made quick decisions but he also thought on them for long periods of time and Jake also knew that Tyler had always only had eyes for one woman and that was Georgia. It didn't surprise him one bit that Tyler followed through and made her his wife. 

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

The Purple Sign. Part III

Self-Aware! Chuuya Nakahara x GN! Reader

Description: There is a purple sign on your bedroom's door. Part III

Hurt/Comfort. Chuuya pampering.

Warning: English is my second language. Mentions of alcohol and smoking

The Purple Sign on your bedroom door greeted you. The door was slightly open. You walked in.

Chuuya Nakahara was sitting on your windowsill. The window was wide open.

Chuuya looked carefully at the forest outside the window. He turned his head slightly in your direction when you closed the door behind you, but remained silent.

You started preparing.

You turned on purple lights and took a couple of blankets out of the shelf. From the drawer with Chuuya's name on it, you took out a set of comfortable clothes, a wine glass, a key to one of the storage rooms in the basement, a hairbrush, massage oil and a small list of wines.

You silently walked up to Chuuya and handed him the wine list. Without looking at whine card, Chuuya muttered.

"Sauvignon Blanc... and... Can you, please, cut some goat cheese to it?"

You were almost ready to agree, when you noticed a faint smell of cigars coming from Chuuya. He truly was stressed and irritated. You lean closer to him.

"Chuuya... Do you want anything else?"

His eyes met yours. He opened his mouth to protest. You point at his shirt.

"Or you want to tell me, that you were standing too close to Yukito and Ryuurou?"

Chuuya sighs.

"I don't want to pressure you too much." He looked at you. "But you will insist, right?"

You nodded. Chuuya looked back at the forest.

"Can you, please, cook me a sea bass?"

You smiled and nodded again.

You return to the shelf and took a music player, collection of music CD's and a full charged phone.

You placed them near Chuuya.

When you left the kitchen, you heard the first sounds of "Starway to Heaven".

It takes you some time, but you finish cooking sea bass. You bring plates with fish and goat cheese to your room.

While you were cooking, Chuuya closed the window and now was sitting on the bean bag chair. He also changed his clothes to the one you gave him.

You put both plates on your desk and left the room again to get a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

When you get back, there are three plates on your desk. And half of the sea bass are now on the third plate. Chuuya point at the plate.

"Your part."

You sat down on the opposite side of him and take the fork.

You and Chuuya eat in silence and only sounds of music is heard in your room.

Chuuya drank some wine and ate goat cheese. You decide not to drink. Chuuya doesn't insist.

After small dinner, you make Chuuya lay on your bed.

Time for a massage.

Your firm hands pressed down on his back, between his shoulder blades. Then a little bit lower. Then lower. You run the edges of your palms down either side of Chuuya's spine.

You start speaking.

"You are a person. Your own person."

You rub his shoulders. You try your best, massaging every knot. In a middle of the massage, you kneel down and left few kisses on Chuuya's neck. Chuuya let out a tiny moan.

"You are a real human. As much as I am."

You pay attention to his hands. With small circular motions, you massage his palms. Chuuya looking at you with the corner of his eye. He squeezed your hand in his, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

"Port Mafia is safe. Everyone are safe."

You brush his hair. Chuuya looked more relaxed than before.

"You don't need to be on your guard all the time."

You finish the massage. Chuuya carefully took your hand and pull you closer to him.

Chuuya's embrace is strong. Chuuya's embrace is warm. You are looking Chuuya in the eyes. He kisses you on a cheek few times, then on the nose and on the chin.

He hugs you tighter.

Your head is laying on Chuuya's chest.

You fall asleep listening to Chuuya's heartbeat and breathing.

[milesdickpic]

Thanksgiving at the Bradshaws | H.C

Click here to see the master list

Happy Thanksgiving, Besties! For those who celebrate, be safe and i hope you have a great day! Whether you celebrate it or not, I just want to let you all know that I am BEYOND grateful for each and everyone of you. Thank you for being here with me 🥰 I love you all so much! ❤️ Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

*Can be read in conjunction with the HLG series! 🦃

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Bradley planned a low-key Thanksgiving for the family. It was going to be a laid back and cozy night. 

All the kids were asleep while all the adults started to make dinner. It was going to be an early night since everyone had to work early the next morning. 

Austin made his famous stuffing. He had brought it the year prior and it had to be the best stuffing you and Bradley had ever had in your lives. 

Phoenix made a a potato casserole along with some green beans.

Hangman worked on the turkey, making sure it was pure perfection. (Like himself)

You made mashed potatoes, gravy, and Mac and cheese. 

Bradley started to set up the table. He put out the best cutlery you and him had in the house, as well as the best looking plates. The ones that weren’t stained nor microwaved burned from the men of the house. 

Bradley wrote name tags for everyone and set each of them on a plate at the table. He grabbed a jar and labeled it “What I am Grateful For.” And placed it in the middle of the table. 

“Thanksgiving dinner for brunch is the best idea we’ve ever came up with.” Hangman laughed as he was basting the turkey with broth and butter. “This baby is almost ready!”

Bradley laughed and smiled. “I am so ready to eat. I missed dinner last night so I could be an endless pit today.”

Phoenix scoffed as she finished laying out her dishes she repaired. “You’re always and endless pit, Bradshaw. You and your kids!” She slapped his shoulder as she set the dishes onto the table. 

You came over and looked at the table. Bradley had set out some little pumpkins left over from Halloween. He lit a couple of candles, he set put the nice silverware and plates. He put out 2 variances of wine glasses. (Plastic ones for the kiddos) Each plate had everyone’s name on it. It was so cute and simple. 

You kissed his cheek. “Thank you for setting the table, Brad.” You placed the Gravy onto the table as Bradley went to grab the mashed potatoes and Mac and cheese. 

As everyone started to lay their dishes onto the table, you and Bradley went upstairs to get the kiddies ready. Everyone decided that Thanksgiving themed pajamas were the move. 

The boys wore matching turkey onesies, Leia wore a “bring on the leftovers” pajama, Bradley wore a pajama that was full of turkeys, you wore a pajama set that was covered in cute coffees, lattes, pies, and pumpkins.

You and Bradley brought down the kids. The boys were strong enough to start sitting on their own in their high chairs. So you and Bradley placed them into each of theirs. Leia pranced around and looked at all the food that was laid out for everyone. 

“GOSH I AM SO HUNGRY!” Leia was so excited. “You and me both, sweetheart.” Bradley picked up Leia and kissed her cheek over and over again. 

Everyone started to make their way downstairs. 

Phoenix wore an oversized pajama set that said, “official pumpkin pie tester.”

Austin wore a grey pajama set with pumpkin pies all over it. (Hehehe)

Gunner came running into the kitchen with a onesie that had turkeys, pumpkins, and “happy thanksgiving” written all over it. 

You all started to take a seat at the table. Bradley sat at the head of the table. You to the left of him. Next to you was Phoenix followed by Austin and then little Bradley in his high chair next to him. On the other side was going to be Leia, Jake, and then Luke in his high chair. 

You were all seated and Bradley looked around for Jake. 

“Seresin. Hurry the hell up!” You slapped Bradley’s arm and shook your head. “Sorry, sweetheart.” Bradley cleared his throat. “MOVE YOUR ASS, SERESIN!” 

“IM COMING!” Jake yelled from the top of the stairs. You could all hear him making his ay down.

“HO-LY. SHIIIIIT.” Bradley, Leia, and Phoenix all said at the same time as Jake made his way down. 

Hangman was in a big turkey onesie. He had the hood on and everything. 

“That is one big Turkey.” Austin laughed as he looked at Jake. 

“Gobble Gobble these nuts, Bradshaw.” Jake laughed and Bradley spit out his water. 

“MY CHILDREN ARE IN THE ROOM.” He lunged for Leia’s ears. 

Once you all sat down every one took turns writing what they were grateful for and placed it into the jar. 

Bradley jumble the jar and everyone took turns asking out a paper and reading what was on it. 

You were first, “I am grateful for being able to spend this holiday season (and everyday) with the people I love.” You smiled and looked around. Austin raised his hand. “Mine. I’m grateful to have you all in my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

You passed the jar to Phoenix. “I am grateful for being alive and being around those I love the most.” Phoenix looked straight at Bradley. Bradley smiled and nodded at Phoenix. “That be me. I love you guys.”

Phoenix passed the jar to Austin. “I am grateful for food.” Everyone looked slowly at Leia. She started to turn red and giggle. “I AM HUNGRY, OKAY!” She crossed her arms and scowled at everyone as you all laughed.”

Austin gave the jar to Leia. “I am grateful for all my friends and family.” Leia looked up at everyone. Phoenix put her finger up. “Me. I’m grateful for all of you. Life would have been lame if I wasn’t here with you all right now.” She looked at Hangman, “That includes you too, Bagman.” They both laughed. 

Leia gave the jar to Hangman. “Here, Uncle Jakey.” He kissed her cheek and pulled out one of the folded papers. “I am grateful for the beautiful family I have been given.” You smiled, “I don’t know where i would have been if I hadn’t met or created any of you. I love you, guys.”

Jake reached over Leia and gave the jar to Bradley. “WELL. We all know who is left.” Jake laughed. 

Bradley pulled out the last folded paper. “Let’s see what we’ve got here.” He looked down at it and his smile softened. He looked at Jake and gave him a little nod and he nodded back. Bradley sighed. “I am grateful for saving the man that saved me. Thank you Bradshaw for taking me in as one of your own after all these years. I don’t deserve you, buddy. I am thankful for being able to be a part of his and y/n’s family.” Bradley folded the paper back up and smiled at Hangman.

Jake pushed his lips together and smiled. “Of course you’d get mine. But it’s true. I’ll forever be grateful and thankful that you both have allowed me to be a part of your family. Thank you.” You got up and gave Jake a kiss on the cheek. Bradley smiled, “I couldn’t imagine a life without you, Turkeyman.”

Leia gave Jake a kiss. “I love you, uncle Jakey!” 

After all the thanks were given you all ate together reminiscing on what the year had been so far. You were all grateful for everything you were given in the last 11 months. 

After dinner, you all cozied up on the couches and Leia chose to watch ‘Addams Family Values.’ Her favorite part was when Wednesday sabotaged the play and burned down the thanksgiving set.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Thanksgiving, my loves! I promise to be posting the next chapter of HLG this coming week. Everything has just been so hectic! But it will be up soon! Thank you for your patience and love. See you in the next one! 🫶🏼

Dinner party guests are in the comments ❤️

[flexnfeed]

Plants, Gains, and No Meat Pains: Hack Your Veggie Protein Game!

Hey, fitness fam! 💪 Ready to crush your gym goals without touching meat? If you’re avegetarian aiming for those gains, we’ve got the scoop on how to fuel your workouts with plant-based power, all while keeping it budget-friendly. Let’s dive in!

Why Protein is Your Gym BFF

Protein is the building block for muscle repair and growth. While meat is a common source, plenty of vegetarian options can help you achieve your fitness goals.

Top Veggie Protein Picks

1. Lentils and Legumes: Staples in Indian households, lentils (dal) and legumes like chickpeas and kidney beans are protein powerhouses. A cup of cooked lentils provides about 18 grams of protein. They’re also rich in fiber, keeping you full and aiding digestion.

2. Dairy Products: Milk, paneer (cottage cheese), and yogurt are excellent protein sources. For instance, 100 grams of paneer contains approximately 18 grams of protein. Including these in your diet can boost your protein intake.

3. Soy Products: Tofu and soy milk are versatile and protein-rich. Tofu can be added to curries or stir-fries, while soy milk is a great base for smoothies. These options are not only nutritious but also easy on the wallet.

4. Nuts and Seeds: Almonds, peanuts, chia seeds, and flaxseeds offer a protein punch. Sprinkle them on salads, blend into smoothies, or enjoy as a snack. They’re also packed with healthy fats, supporting overall health.

5. Quinoa: This grain is a complete protein, meaning it contains all nine essential amino acids. It’s perfect for salads or as a rice substitute. While slightly pricier, a little goes a long way.

Budget-Friendly Tips

• Plan Your Meals: Creating a weekly meal plan helps you buy in bulk and reduce waste.

• Cook at Home: Preparing meals at home is cost-effective and allows you to control ingredients.

• Seasonal Shopping: Opt for seasonal produce; it’s fresher and often cheaper.

Sample Meal Plan

• Breakfast: Oats topped with almonds and chia seeds.

• Lunch: Quinoa salad with mixed vegetables and a side of yogurt.

• Snack: Roasted chickpeas or a handful of peanuts.

• Dinner: Paneer curry with a serving of lentil soup (dal) and whole-grain roti.

Embracing a vegetarian diet doesn’t mean compromising on your fitness goals. With these protein-rich foods and budget-friendly strategies, you can power through your workouts and achieve those gains. Remember, it’s all about balance and variety. Happy lifting!

[loominggaia]

GREENHEARSTIAN CUISINE

(This time we are learning about the traditional cuisine of Greenhearst, hometown of Evan Atlas!)

OVERVIEW

Greenhearst is often called “Evangeline’s breadbasket” because most of the kingdom’s grains are grown here. But Greenhearstians farm a wide variety of other crops too, most notably apples, potatoes, and squashes. This territory exports a lot of locally-made beers and ciders all over the world, so peoples far and wide can get a taste of Greenhearst. Many of Evangeline Kingdom’s favorite recipes originate from here, and they are…

BAKED APPLE

The baked apple is a versatile food that can be eaten any time, depending on the ingredients used. It is simply an apple that has been cored and baked until soft. If eaten for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, it is stuffed with brown sugar and minced beef or squash. If eaten for dessert, it is instead stuffed with cream cheese or pudding. It is often flavored with cinnamon.

PUMPKIN PORRIDGE

Pumpkin season is an exciting time for Greenhearstians, as they love to eat pumpkin porridge for breakfast. It is made by mixing cornmeal with pureed pumpkins and tomatoes, then it is usually flavored further with cinnamon and nutmeg. It is full of fiber and vitamins, making it popular with elderly people in particular. Children and the sickly also benefit from eating this food. Greenhearstians even feed pumpkin porridge to their sick livestock to perk them up, and they swear by its miraculous results.

BEEF LOAF

This is a typical lunch or dinner item in Greenhearst, traditionally served alongside mashed potatoes. It is made by mixing ground beef with crumbled bread, eggs, tomato paste, diced onions, and spices. These ingredients are baked into a hearty, delicious loaf that is crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

FRYING CHEESE

Though Greenhearst isn’t known for its ranching industry, many of its residents do own their own milk-producing livestock. Locals like to turn this milk into hard cheeses and then fry them on the grill like meat. What makes this dish popular is its versatility and portability. It can be wrapped up and carried around all day, which is ideal for those who work outside. It is often eaten plain, but may also be flavored or paired in countless ways. Tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, and apples are some of the more common pairings.

APPLE CIDER

Greenhearst is home to vast apple orchards, and it seems there is nothing the locals can’t do with this fruit. Apple cider is such a hot item here that there are entire shops dedicated to it. Keeping the shelves stocked is easy with so many different types and flavors available. Greenhearst produces enough cider to export it to other regions as well, including overseas. This drink, along with beer, support a large chunk of the territory’s economy. Cider comes in alcoholic and non-alcoholic varieties, so it can be enjoyed by people of all ages. It can also be served cold or warm.

POTAPLO CASSEROLE

Thinly-sliced potatoes and apples are arranged in layers and baked in a dish with onions, rosemary, nutmeg, and topped with melted cheese. This dish is so filling, flavorful, and simple to prepare that it has become the most popular dinnertime meal in Greenhearst.

CARAMEL BUTTER BAR

These chewy bars are a common dessert food in the region. A layer of melted caramel is poured onto buttery dough forms, then the bars are topped with crushed hazelnuts and salt. Once they cool, they are solidified and ready to eat. These bars are high in fat and sugar, but locals find it hard to eat them in moderation.

CHICKEN CHILI

A flavorful chili containing chicken, red beans, green beans, carrots, tomatoes, onions, and peppers. It is hard to grow spicy peppers in Greenhearst’s cool-temperate climate, so this chili is quite mild when prepared the traditional way. Regardless, it is hearty and healthy with its plethora of nutritious ingredients.

OTHER

Beer and appelchek are also staples of traditional Greenhearstian cuisine. You can read more about them on the main Evangelite Cuisine article.

SEE ALSO

Cuisine Masterpost

Greenhearst

Queen Indiga Evangeline

Evangelite Fashions

Evangelite Territories

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[multiheadcanons]

MERCS AND HUNGER

scout: scout does a pretty good job at keeping himself fed well enough that hunger doesn’t bother him. he eats when he has a taste for something or a craving for something, and he eats at mealtimes. makes a point to finish his plate at mealtimes because if he eats more, he’s hungry less. loves a good dessert and a midnight snack, so hunger pangs just never hit.

soldier: another man who takes care to eat when he’s hungry, so he never feels the sensation of hunger. even when he does get “hungry” it’s not the physical sensation as much as it is he is just prone to hanger. if his stomach is less than a quarter full, his mood sours quickly. he could be in a great mood and the second he’s feeling even marginally peckish he starts to get annoyed. he is at his worst when he’s hangry.

pyro: pyro keeps snacks on deck in case they ever are hungry and needing anything to eat. the stomach growls from hunger kill them, in a humorous way. it’s funny to listen to their body work, and tell pyro what it needs. it’s almost nice, like working with a dog. they can’t communicate completely with each other, so they have to do what they can to understand the signs their body is giving them.

demo: demo drinks so often that his stomach never feels empty, so he forgets to eat more often than not. it’s only when he’s having pains in his stomach so strong he thinks he’s dying and he goes to the infirmary and the doctor asks “have you eaten anything today?” that he goes oh…. no, no i haven’t. he’s actually pretty sure he hasn’t eaten in a few days… then he goes to make himself something to eat! will always make enough for the team, even if he’s just putting together a light snack. he’ll make an entire charcuterie board for the team in his quest to feed himself.

heavy: snack basket god. he is the snack basket. you need sugar? protein? carbs? fat? you feel dizzy? blood sugar dropping? need something to drink? need some energy? this man’s pockets are like bags of holding, and you never know what he’s gonna pull out of there to cater to you. he’s got fruit, he’s got chips, he’s got protein bars, he’s got jerky, he’s got washed veggies, he’s got crackers, he’s got peanut butter, he’s got water, he’s got chocolate covered espresso beans. whatever you need, whatever you want, you get if you’re hungry. he was doordash before doordash existed. the team got him a cooler bag embroidered with his name for his birthday to free up some space in his pockets, and he was eternally touched. this man hasn’t felt a hunger pang since he was a teenager, he will continue that streak until he dies. and now he has a cute little bag to help him with that. stares at his name on the bag and smiles. he really feels like they’ve become a family.

engineer: the second engie starts hearing his stomach growl he’s annoyed. another unfortunate victim to hanger, engie works nonstop, and never in his list of things to do is “go fuel the body you own”. he should start putting that on the list, because he becomes a big bitch when he’s hungry. engie is already a pretty high strung guy, so when he’s just feeling random pains in his body that he can’t immediately parse through or stop he’s annoyed. the cramps from hunger will double him over because he just won’t think about the idea that he is man made flesh, and not a robot. as much as he would love to be. if he could chug motor oil and call it a day he would. but he can’t, so he needs to start remembering to feed himself. at least remember to drink water.

medic: medic’s not allowed in the kitchen, so he had to take matters into his own hands, because he requires a good amount of calories to function. he got a second fridge and a portable camping stove; and that keeps him fairly comfortable hunger wise. it’s not stuffed to the brim, just some water and a bottle of wine and a pack of beer and some ready-made or quickly prepared meals. there was a period of about a month that he ate exclusively sharp cheddar cheese and summer sausage. just the blocks and the entire fucking sausage. the team joked about it until they got bored, and he decided he’ll never do that again. he gets so tired when he’s hungry, and he can’t function like that.

sniper: sniper will go a solid five days without real food. keeps a sleeve of crackers and a canteen (like a leather canteen) of water and nibbles and sips on them like a mouse. he’s seemingly fine until day five when he realizes if he is given access to the fridge everything in there will be gone. then he promptly goes to the fridge and raids it. then he has to go tell heavy they need to make a grocery run. nobody’s personal groceries are safe from sniper when he is hungry. the furthest he will go in consideration is eating the stuff that’s closest to expiring. everyone gives him that. everyone also learned that regular team meals needed to be a thing pronto so that sniper, specifically, will stop eating their shit. everyone is very concerned about sniper’s caloric intake because their concern is the only thing standing between him and the fridge. and they can’t ban him from the kitchen. he’s the guard. if he’s not watching then pyro and the doctor have free reign. and that can’t happen again.

spy: spy is a grazer when it comes to eating, but he attends the meals regardless. hunger is something he has had to grit his teeth through before, and he’s mostly willing to do it again. but he doesn’t really… have to do that anymore. the team ensures that none of them ever experience a hunger like that again. he’s thankful for it. he remembers being young, and the pain that came with hunger. it was overwhelming. to the point that food was the only thing he can think of. and sometimes, when he’s sitting in the mess hall, staring at a meal that had thought and care put in it… he wonders what price he has to pay for it. sometimes he wonders why he’s worth the trouble of a meal. but he eats it. and it’s always some of the best tasting food he’s ever put in his mouth. and the question persists. what is the price he has to pay? but he eats. he finishes the plate. he sits and ruminates on the meal he just had. he’s a little nicer to the chef. more open, more friendly. and he looks forward to every meal.

[ghastlybirdie]

Thinking about having the men in the 141 over to enjoy Dominican food cause Hispanic food is food to be SHARED with the masses

When it’s winter and the air is too cold? Time to make sancocho, a big big BIG pot of meat like chicken, beef, and pork, as well as roots like potatoes, carrots, yuca, malanga, platanos, with a bowl of rice to boat the flavors on; so filling, so rich that Price would have to break up with his mother’s roast for something that keeps his belly both FULL and WARM. The man would be comatose for how good it is, I promise

And in the morning, when Johnny finally has a day in a proper home and can eat a filling meal? Mangu. Fried eggs, fried cheese (yes, cheese, it’s really yummy), Dominican salami, and mashed platanos with butter and topped with red pickled onions?? UGH it’s so filling, it keeps him full until it’s almost dinner time, he swears! He can barely have seconds

Is it summer yet? Cause morir sonando is so sweet and delicious and cold. It’s a simple drink, orange juice and milk with splashes of vanilla and it;s just deeeelicious. Kyle is itching for it cause it’s so hot outside and he needs just a sweet drink and woah that’s so good and tangy, can he have more? Oh, you have pastelitos? What’s that, you ask? Meat of whatever you want (or if you want dessert, guava paste and cream cheese, price likes that one too) in a thin dough thats been fried to be a crispy half circle meal you can hold in your hand..!! Super delicious, Kyle bodies a half dozen in a single sitting at the cookout

Speaking of cookouts- Simon is at all of them, corona in hand and helping babysit the grill and fryer and just listen to chatter. It’s not that he doesnt want to engage, it’s just he’s waiting for the meats cause they smell delicious and heart stopping cause the burgers are great and the rice and beans are to die for- also someone had him try a chicharron with some lime and now he’s ready to dog every piece of food coming his way cause no tia or abuela would let any of these grown men go hungry for even a millisecond…

Just eat your meats first before one of the guys takes it from you

[legumepowered]

I had to quit my job very suddenly, without a full-time gig at the ready [I'm blessed to have found a part-time gig very quickly, 5 min walk from my apt] and I've never been so glad that I buy in bulk + I started low-stakes prepping [prepping for Tuesday, not doomsday, ie preparing for common bad weather for your area, job loss, illness, etc].

I went grocery shopping over 1 month ago, [I did pick up snacks since lol]. I got my bulk dry goods [lentils, black beans, chickpeas] at the end of May, and I still have quite a bit. The only things I NEED to buy [as in, need to buy as to not rlly disrupt my habits] are eggs, vegetables, and ketchup. idk I could live off of legumes and rice and tuna salad but my gf doesn't want to do that smh.

I bought a dozen or so jars of salsa when they were on sale at Aldi ages ago, which would be great in rice and beans. I have a ton of chickpea pasta bc again, sale. and have cheese sauce in the freezer. I made hummus from dried chickpeas for a get-together and have chips/crackers [I can also make those myself when I run out]. I made lentil soup the other day [which I made too spicy whoops. it's been great to add to scrambled eggs, it cuts the spice, adds fiber and other nutrients, and it lowers the amount of eggs I need to make a solid breakfast]. I cannot recommend buying in bulk enough. it's a bit more up front but the peace of mind is worth it.

[yarameijer]

What do you think is Tenma's and others' favourite food and drink?

Ooh, favorite foods! Okay so please bear with me, I’m not familiar with Japanese cuisine but I’ll give it a shot!

First, the first-years! Tsurugi has a sweet tooth, but he wouldn’t admit it even on pain of death and only Yuuichi knows because Tsurugi believes it’d take away from his reputation otherwise. He loves rice cakes, especially with fillings. He’s also a fan of dried beans covered with sugar.

Hikaru is also a major fan of sweets and is willing to try whatever's offered to him, but his absolute favorite is coffee jelly. He can sometimes be bribed with sweets if necessary. To finish up the sweet tooth trio, Aoi loves any type of cake, although she prefers milder tastes instead of super sweet. She and Hikaru go out to cafes to try out their menu and manage to drag Tsurugi along eventually, although he’ll pretend to come along just to humor them. These three are also the biggest fans of going to Tenma’s place, because Aki usually has some homemade baking ready.

Shinsuke really likes onigiri, it’s simple yet tasty, and easy to share with friends. No need for any fancy dishes for him! He’s also a fan of sweets, although not as bad as the three mentioned above, and he likes fruit-flavored soy milk.

Kariya likes takoyaki the most! It’s pretty easy to get, so he likes treating himself to it if he’s done well on a test or something, or if he’s just in the mood. Since he lives in an orphanage, food options are dependent on whatever gets prepared there, so while the food is good he doesn’t really have any input in dinner. Makes it extra nice to get takoyaki as a snack for himself!

If asked, Tenma’s favorite food is whatever Aki prepares because her cooking is amazing, but his favorite dish would be gōyā chanpurū, Okinawan stir fry. He’s loved it since he was young, and now that he lives in Tokyo, it reminds him of home. He also enjoys sweet snacks, particularly mitarashi dango and sata andagi (which is also from Okinawa, and he loves it for similar reasons).

Onto the second-years! Hamano loves sashimi (raw fish), but he doesn’t really have a preference for a specific type. He also likes taiyaki, fish-shaped cakes, not only because of the taste but also because they’re, well, in the shape of a fish. He and Hayami often get some if they're hanging out after school, most often with red bean paste or custard filling. Although Hayami likes taiyaki too, he prefers gyõza (Japanese dumplings). He’s also a pretty big tea fan, especially green tea, which he has in common with Shindou.

Speaking of - everyone knows Shindou is a rich kid. Influential, loaded family that goes to operas and pays for private tutoring outside of school and eats at a five star restaurant every other month. And yet, ironically, his absolute favorite food turns out to be homemade ramen from Rairaiken (after his friends have introduced him to it, of course). He likes to experiment with toppings and is delighted whenever he finds a new combination he enjoys.

Kirino’s favorite food is sushi, also because there’s such a wide variety of it, and he can pick whatever he feels like at that moment. Luckily for him, he’s best friends with rich kid Shindou, and whenever they hang out at his manor, the staff knows to prepare sushi. Kirino takes full advantage of this and claims it’s payment for dealing with Shindou’s soccer strategy ramblings. Just like Shindou and Hayami, he likes green tea, but he prefers royal milk tea.

Nishiki picked up a love for Italian cuisine during his time abroad. He loves ravioli (stuffed pasta) and he’s got a preference for ciabatta bread. He’s lucky enough not to be lactose intolerant like many other Japanese people, and he absolutely LOVED spending time in a country with countless cheese options, in which Japan is, unsurprisingly, lacking. He’s cooked for his friends a few times and it was a pretty big success.

Midori and Kurama, surprisingly enough, share their favorite food: kushiyaki, skewered and grilled foods. Midori loves grilled pork skewers, whereas Kurama’s favorite are grilled vegetable skewers. Midori likes other types as well, but Kurama’s a picky eater so he'll stick to his vegetables, thank you very much.

Akane can usually be found with various types of bread in her bento, the specific kind switching every day. It’s her favorite snack and she usually brings some to eat during afternoon practice. Her favorites are melonpan and anpan (filled with red bean paste). She brings enough for the entire team as a treat if they’ve won a particularly hard match. She also really loves bubble tea (her favorite is honeydew milk tea), and often drags Aoi and Midori along. Aoi’s favorite is matcha milk tea, and Midori’s is black milk tea.

Aoyama, as mentioned in the AR one-shot collection, is obsessed with noodles. His favorite is kitsune udon, but he likes switching it up so he also orders other dishes quite regularly. Ichino also appreciates udon and other noodle foods (he doesn’t really have a choice, being best friends with Aoyama), and he’s also a big fan of shaved ice.

Finally the third-years! They’ve actually got a pretty big thing in common there: they all prefer the company over the food, really. Sangoku, for example, doesn’t really have a favorite food. He loves cooking, and cooking for others, and he’s a fan of trying out new recipes, although he favors traditional Japanese meals. He originally taught himself how to cook because his mother is usually busy with work, but discovered a love for it and he likes seeing his friends enjoy his food. He does really enjoy a good cup of green tea, though, like Shindou and Hayami.

Next, Kurumada! If asked, he claims he likes going to yakiniku (grilled meat) restaurants with his friends most. He thinks it’s tasty, and he likes having multiple options for food and being able to just get whatever he’s in the mood for at the time. It’s only made better by the company, although inviting his team along has been known to end in chaos.

Amagi’s favorite food is katsudon, which he has in common with Mahoro. When they were kids, he, Mahoro and their childhood friend Kousaka Yukie would eat it as often as their parents would allow - that’s where his love for shared meals began, because it’s much more fun to eat together than alone.

…I may have gone a bit overboard with this. Whoops?

Hope you enjoyed!

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” - they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them! Get in contact with them on Facebook, shipping to the U.S. only, and tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

Happy Holidays! Yeah, looks like the time got away from us, so we’re only NOW getting everyone their Holiday Food Party at work. The question is, who’s getting the really GOOD stuff and who’s getting grade school pizza slabs? So, if you have any allergy restrictions, just know that we did our best to completely ignore you - just like your REAL employer would.

Aries 

Since we mentioned “breakfast” last week, we’re getting you a catered breakfast station THIS week. And before you think it’ll be super high-end with a crepe maker, waffle chef, and carving station, it’ll be a collaboration between IHOP and Arby’s to serve you. So This Week… Remember how we warned you about Krampus before Christmas? This was your punishment. Do Better Next Year.

Taurus 

For you, we have a fairly pedestrian-sounding Pizza Party, but it’ll be anything BUT. Don Luigi’s Pasta and Pesto will be rolling up to your company with an honest to god wood-fired brick oven on the back of a trailer. You’ll be the envy of every Bar-B-Que group with a tug-along smoker. So This Week… Right now you’re the only one who knows what the twist ending on this part will be. Keep this secret and you’ll go places.

Gemini 

You’ve seen Kettle Corn and Deep Fried Turkey, right? Well get ready for another fried delight as part of your Inter-Corporate Culture War - Fresh Fried Poutine! You’ve heard your Canadian compatriots rave about this mega-calorie winter meal but been turned off by the ingredients. Trust us there is no better time to indulge in this combination of freshly fried potato, beef gravy, and cheese curds. So This Week… Yes, that’s what Little Miss Muffett was eating. This is going to be an eye opening experience for you.

Cancer Moon-Child 

Unlike everyone else, you won’t have to eat on your break at the office, because you’ll be having an actual properly rented event hall with full-staff catering for you to enjoy! Yes, you’ll have to get up to walk through the buffet and get what you want, but the selections will be amazing! Salmon, a carving station with roast beef, glasses of shrimp cocktail, and even a dessert table with mini cheese cakes! So This Week… Have you updated your resume lately? You might want to. Hmm? Oh, No Reason! Nope. No reason at all. Everythings… Everything’s just “fi-i-ine.”

Leo 

Some might think this is a cheap way out for your company, but in all honesty it’s more expensive. You’re not getting a catered lunch, or a special dinner. You’re getting what everyone ACTUALLY wanted, as voted on in a secret ballot; AN EXTRA DAY OFF! So This Week… Take Wednesday off; it’ll give you a two-days-off, two-days-on, one-day-off, two-days-on, two-days-off week. And who knows, if it works for you and if you ask nicely maybe you can work four 10-hour days instead of five 8’s.

Virgo 

We’re not even going to TRY to describe what your holiday food fest is going to be, because there’s something more than special in the works. Your food will pale in the presence of fabled and famed chocolatier Amaury Guichon! And yes, you WILL be able to eat whatever he’s built at the end of the party. So This Week… If you haven’t stocked up on injectable insulin yet, do it before the party. You WILL need it!

Libra

We don’t know what’s sadder - the fact that someone decided this was a good idea or that someone in finance approved it. If we told you your catered food was going to be a burger buffet, you’d think it was going to be great, right? Sadly the bean counters got the proverbial Lowest Bidder contracted so you’ll all be transported back to grade school and some of the saddest cheeseburgers you’ve ever known. So This Week… Look, we feel for you this time. There’s only one way to make these things palatable; stacking your french fries in the middle and all the ketchup. That’s assuming they gave you fries instead of single-serve bags of potato chips. 

Scorpio 

You remember when your company had a “Who’s Come The Farthest Distance To Work Here” award on Halloween? They had an ulterior motive and it’s now come to fruition. The winner was Advika from Loss Prevention, who hailed from the Indian state of Maharashtra. In her honour they decided to contract a semi-local Indian restaurant to bring in “Pav bhaji” - a thick spicy vegetable curry served with a soft buttered bread roll. So This Week… Whoever the sadistic sunofit who suggested the restaurant make it, quote, “Indian Hot”, needs to learn what that term ACTUALLY means before they say it again!

Sagittarius 

Your company is also staffed with sadistic people - and before you say, “Well, DUH! I knew that!”, NO! Uh-Uh! You didn’t know about this one. They’re planning on offering a thousand dollar bonus to anyone that can survive The Ten Rounds Of Jelly Beans. It’s a simple game, really. A big tub of jelly beans with normal and nasty flavours are dumped into a bowl, mixed up, and the contestants reach in, take one, then all eat at the same time. If you flinch, you’re out. So This Week… Remember the movie, “War Games”? According to Joshua, what is The Winning Move? Do That.

Capricorn 

Your company is setting everyone up at a hotel and convention center for your event. No one, and I mean NO ONE in your town has ever seen anything like this before! The company will be closing for the next week and you’re all being provided with a room after this 21 and older feast to ODIN! There will be a Viking-Themed longhouse setup with fire pits and mead and musicians and meat and vegetables of all kinds for everyone. And when you’re done just go up to your hotel room to sleep it off. So This Week… Oh, did we say the feast was over? The hell we did! The party started Thor’s Night and won’t end until Saturday Night! You’ve all earned this!

Aquarius 

You always think we’re out to get you, but we're intentionally flipping the script on that. So long as you’re not vegetarian you’re about to love this catering set. Say HELLO to the collaboration between The International Model Rocket Consortium and Yankee Bar-B-Que! Your meal will be loaded onto a seven-stage model rocket, launched from a near-by airport and air-dropped with a parachute emblazoned with your company’s name and logo. So This Week… Look, if NASA could drop the Perseverance Mars Rover with a parachute with embedded nerd-speak code in it, what’s wrong with this plan for your company? It’s not like there’s something like apple pie that’s gunna get damaged in it.

Pisces  

All things considered, this wasn’t too bad an idea, if a little misplaced. Remember the whole, “Christmas In July” sales idea? Well, they decided to do it in reverse and make the theme “July in Christmas”, except it’s January. Anyway - thematically they’ve gone with a picnic lunch for everyone! So egg sandwiches and fried chicken and grapes and wine and hard cheeses… And you know what? This is actually far classier than we’d’ve ever thought they’d do. So This Week… We all know you do a killer Yogi Bear impersonation, but please, please, no one needs to hear it this time. Discretion is the better part of valour.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Facebook, Ko-Fi, Discord, and BLUESKY.