#full ego story part 4

[spooky-draws-stuff]

Chapter 4 full ego story

Summary: Anyway Marvin is depressed because he was kinda mean to Jackie and refuses to talk to him, and the egos get together for a meeting to figure out how they're going to attempt to save Chase and Jackie. It is about 2,000 words long.

There is a brief torture scene in this between Anti and Jackie

Here is the link where you can read it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50788906

@n-anon @septicwriters

[etirabys]

meandering post about reading Orson Scott Card again

I've been offline starting at 9pm every day (except once. I was drunk at karaoke and asked for anons at 8:30pm) for six weeks, with the result that in befuddled boredom two nights ago I picked up Orson Scott Card's Songmaster from the house bookshelf.

I read Ender's Game and three sequels when I was a teen thought the books were mid. Since those are OSC's best works I assumed he had nothing more interesting to offer me and didn't try more of him for fifteen years, but Songmaster was compelling enough that I immediately afterwards picked up The Memory of Earth, the first book of a pentalogy.

TMoE is extremely my jam: after humanity blows itself up on Earth, AIs monitor thriving human civilizations in the planets that survivors managed to escape to, and suppress any tech that enables large scale violence by exerting low key mind control via satellites. But forty million years pass, many of the satellites break down, and the AI needs help from humans to restore capabilities. Because as its control wanes, people are starting to e.g. conceive of airplanes or bombs again, and override the injunctions against entering military alliances more than two edges of connection away.

The AI is worshipped as a god all over the planet, but the fourteen year old protagonist that becomes one of the AI's agents tells the AI from the beginning that he'll break with it if its morality seems wrong to him. I like the fourteen year old – unlike Ender or Songmaster's protagonist (adult minds piloting ten year old bodies), he's a normal gifted kid who's unpopular 50% due to his ego and big mouth and 50% because he's socially inept and offends people even when he's trying to be nice.

Songmaster is also partly about a permanent solution to large-scale violence, albeit through one guy who establishes a monopoly on violence and sweeps in pax galactica. Both it and TMoE are preoccupied with the eradication of suffering from evil / human violence, which is closer to my resonant frequency than narratives about defeating particular people or ideologies. At the moment I can't think of any other book with such an insistent focus on the matter than T.H. White's The Once and Future King. It's hard to make a compelling story out of, and I don't think Songmaster really succeeds, but TMoE's premise is well suited to explore that. (I'm also enjoying the matriarchal culture where everyone is expected to have multiple serial-monogamous marriages.) After reading 70% of TMoE last night I wrote:

Usually when I read fiction there's a small part of me going, how can I use this as fodder for my own growth, how can I remix or improve or react against this, how do the author and I measure against each other? (If the quality and content are at an anti-sweet spot, the small part becomes quite large and I feel all teeth towards the author.) But on occasion I read something so close that the absence of that measuring-feeling is its own sensation – ego departs, or at least is split across two bodies. There's just amity and recognition

And it's pretty interesting to feel this way about Card for, well, the reasons.

(If you're familiar with Card drama none of the following will be new to you; I'm coming to it fresh so the rest of this post is me going "uh... wow")

I vaguely knew he was a homophobic Mormon who'd gotten into fights about gay stuff, but I couldn't tell from the Ender books I read. But in Songmaster his issues spring off the page in such a weird way. Every fifth Goodreads review of this book is "Card, u gay?" because, well,

(One review, possibly from a fellow Mormon, that went "Card, it's so sinful of you to be this gay in your novel". Why did he write this book that would predictably make everyone mad...)

it's full of gay male desire. The protagonist (Ansset) is approximately a castrato and characters notice him sexually a lot. The first and only time Ansset has sex it's with a Kinsey 4-5 male character he loves, who's married to a woman but has fallen in love with Ansset. It turns out the drugs Ansset took to prolong his singing career painfully and only-kinda-figuratively explode your balls when you have your first orgasm and you'll never feel sexual desire again. (You'd think his loving teachers would have warned him of that, but, whatever, they didn't.) The other guy is literally castrated in punishment for inadvertently torturing a highly valuable castrato. It's pretty bald: GAY SEX IS ALMOST IRRESISTIBLY TEMPTING BUT YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.

(Sidenote: both Ansset and the guy's wife are very close and have a "there's enough love to go around" attitude about the gay sex initially, before they go "wait Josif is a SERIAL MONOGAMIST... he can only love one person at a time... the moment he had the gay sex his marriage was destroyed". It's funny in a mildly stupid way that Card would set up this parable of homosexuality destroying lives and a marriage but almost everyone involved is peacefully ready to sail into an open marriage. I guess it makes sense if you want to say very clearly that THE GAY PART IS THE BAD PART)

which is fascinating to me, because... why would you tell on yourself like that

(81k also told me secondhand of an essay? interview? where Card openly says "we have to stand against legalizing gay marriage because everyone will get gay married and society will collapse", so that's informing my read of Songmaster as well)

I am pretty dang open about my personal life online but if I had a lot of feelings I thought were disgusting and immoral I would not write a novel dripping with those feelings before pointedly castrating the leads for them. Especially if it wasn't relevant to the actually highbrow themes of (checks notes) winning over your adversaries with kindness and never relinquishing your monopoly on violence. I would be so so so so embarrassed to let this go to print, it's so psychologically transparent, what was he thinking

(Well, I assume he's a very different person with different social incentives. For all I know, people in his church went "hey Orson we read your book and it's clear that you're gay but signaling strongly that you won't give into the gay feelings, we're here for you, it was really brave of you to publish this".)

[ikementally-deficient]

Advice On Writing

I have a couple of writing friends who keep asking me for advice (which is extremely flattering and I love to infodump, please don't stop), but I thought getting my thoughts down on the metaphorical paper and putting them out into the world might be helpful for others as well.

I mostly had fanfiction in mind when I wrote this, but honestly I think the vast majority of it will be applicable to any kind of creative writing.

I would love to get feedback or have conversations about this, so if you want to squawk at or with me, please don't hesitate!

The Bare Minimum

Write

Write as often and as much as you can. If you manage to do nothing else on this list, just writing consistently and continuously will eventually improve your skills, even if it takes a long time.

The Basics

2. Read

Find things you enjoy, and read them. Read as much as you have time for. Things that speak to you and make you feel things (words, turns of phrase, tropes) will all work their way into your subconscious and feed your own writing.

3. Read Critically

Re-read the things you enjoy, and consciously think about why you enjoy them. Why did this scene manage to express such a clear sense of desolation? What about this interaction between characters made me relate to them so much? How did this story give me such a sense of satisfaction and coming full circle? Highlight the phrases you really love. Look for and circle the small details that foreshadow later developments. Identify the things you don’t like as well (nothing is perfect). How would you have done this differently? Do you hate the purple prose, or is it killing you that these scenes aren’t more detailed? Look up the words you don’t understand - maybe the author chose their words poorly, or maybe you’re one of the lucky ten thousand who gets to learn a new vocabulary word today.

The Cringe Parts

4. Ask for constructive criticism

This part is really hard, but vital. While you will inevitably find some of the weaknesses of your own writing, you won’t find all of them. An outside perspective is invaluable. If you’re frightened of constructive criticism, start small. Ask one person to look at SPAG (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). Pick one paragraph or scene to show someone and ask them how it flows. Have someone review your outline for plotholes instead of giving them prose. Brace yourself for things you don’t want to hear. Sit with any and all criticism for a few days before reacting. It’s okay to decide that someone just didn’t get what you were going for, but make sure that’s actually true instead of just a knee-jerk reaction to hurt feelings or a bruised ego. Listen to what your reviewer or beta is actually saying - ‘this part confuses me’ doesn’t mean your writing is bad, it means that your head holds the entire picture and you just didn’t put enough of that down on paper so your reader can see it too.

5. Re-read your own work

Every once in a while, go back and see how what you wrote six months ago or last year holds up. You’ve been writing for a while, you’re a stronger writer, so give yourself the perspective of seeing how far you’ve come. And see if there are any weak areas that are still giving you trouble; you can focus more on those in your next piece of writing.

6. Edit for other people

Editing is a skill. No one falls out of the sky able to give useful and actionable feedback. The act of reading and criticising something you have a little cognitive distance from is far easier than criticising your own work, but it’s still a muscle you need to build. Start with basic proof reading (SPAG). Ask questions: “Why did you choose this word, it seems obscure?” Explain your feedback: “I can’t tell who’s speaking here, I think the dialogue went back and forth one too many times without a tag.” Instead of “I don’t like this,” explain why: “This description feels like something I’ve seen too many times already and feel cliché, but I bet you can change it up.” Learning to give that feedback in a kind and helpful way is something you can bring back to your own writing. Remember that if someone asks you to beta read or edit their work, they too are trying to get better. Don’t just blow sunshine up their ass, give them the respect of being honest about elements that aren’t working. Just don’t be an asshole about it. 

Some resources on being a good beta reader - these also are handy guides for writers on how to communicate their needs effectively to a beta reader:

How to Be a Great Beta Reader and Give Helpful Feedback (dianaurban.com)

What makes a good beta reader? (smallbluedog.com)

Tips on how to beta read, from a beta reader : FanFiction (reddit.com)

Advanced Class

7. Try new things

Try a different format. If you mostly write long, multi-chapter works, aim for a short story. Write some poetry. Change up your genre. Consciously try to imitate someone else’s style. Stretch out of your comfort zone. Feel like you write too much descriptive detail? Force yourself to write nothing but dialogue, like Isaac Asimov. Feel like your characters are always floating in empty space? Indulge in some Robert Jordan, down to every detail of what the characters are wearing. This is going to be difficult, and the results might not be something you want to share publicly, but it’s still worth the effort.

8. Read about writing

There are university courses on this stuff. Check your local library for a copy of the Little, Brown Handbook - it’s aimed at academic writing, but it’s a great resource on grammar and syntax and planning and revising your work. Look for fun ones like The Transitive Vampire and The Well-Tempered Sentence, or Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Centre for Fiction has a great list of books on creative writing by writers, and industry professionals (if publishing for profit is a goal of yours). 

Back to the Beginning

9. Keep writing

You might not be the next Stephen King, or Jude Devereaux, or Isaac Asimov. Cool, me neither. You don’t have to be. As long as writing is still giving you joy, keep doing it. 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

The Current event makes me smile since it kind of confirms a headcanon I had that the Great Seven have animated movies based on them. Makes me wonder about the plot of the movies

Disney should get on the Twisted Wonderland AU Animated Remakes. What is Ursula was a good witch, what if Scar was right to take the throne and did he take it from Mufasa? (Or whoever is the stand in for him)

The Evil/Beautiful Queen...actually GOOD?

Yeah, it makes sense! Since the Great Seven are historical figures and the stuff of legends, surely there would be popular media made in their image. It’s like how the Disney fairy tales borrow from stories in the public domain or how there are historical retellings and reinventions (Hamilton, anyone?).

I believe TWST has mentioned films based on their own stories and history before too, but purely in the animated sense rather than live action. In book 3, Ace and one of the Atlantica Museum guards talk about an animated movie based on the tale of the mermaid princess and her prince; this movie is said to have come out ~30 years ago, which corresponds with Disney’s animated The Little Mermaid. Ace compliments the movie’s soundtrack too way to stroke your own ego, Disney/j.

Later on in Tapis Rouge, the characters discuss other films based on the Great Seven, including one Queen of Hearts movie. A Sea Witch movie is also mentioned; in it, she “goes gigantic” and also sings as she brews potions. The Octatrio quite enjoy this particular film.

(Side note: Another anon once suggested to me that people probably also write fanfics of Neige and Vil since they’re celebrities… Think like “My mom sold me to One Direction?!” Wattpad kinds of fics, but replace One Direction with Vil or something. You can read those post here!)

It’s… interesting this event specifically has Vil promoting a live action adaption of an in-universe animated film about the Beautiful Queen—an animated film which was the first full-color animated movie AND it originally released close to 90 years ago. They also reference the funding issues that Disney suffered while producing Snow White + inviting bank employees in to preview the movie to acquire more investments, stating that the studio that made the animated Beautiful Queen experienced the same. The in-game live action is even slated to come out “NEXT YEAR”. They’re not being subtle here with TWST’s references to their own version of the irl Disney Snow White (the live action is coming out in 2025, the OG is also almost 90 years old, etc.). I wonder if the EN server will actually get Tapis Rouge around the time of the irl release of Disney’s live action Snow White as part of a promotional campaign? 😂

UPDATE: There are even more not-so-subtle references to Disney animations in part 4 of the event, including discussion of cel animation, rotoscoping, adding blush to the characters, and how Disney brought in real animals/observed the “real thing” to help with animating similar scenes or subjects. They also cheekily say that most animation nowadays is CG 💀

I know some books under Disney publishing try to show alternate tellings or show the villains in a more sympathetic light, but I don’t know that they would ever commit to fully animating a film like that. It definitely would not happen in the style of traditional animation, Disney no longer seems well-equipped to handle that task 😔 I feel like it would also be pretty niche or might not get overwhelming positive reception with recent audience calls for “true bad guys” instead of twist or sympathetic villains (though I’m not sure what percentage of people watching Disney actually have this opinion).

I do wonder how those “AU” films would work though…? It wouldn’t be as simple as suddenly turning the G7 into “good guys”. The scenario and other characters would also have to drastically change. TWST doesn’t necessarily make the original “good guys” “bad” in a world where the villains are historical figures; we still hear plenty of positive or neutral stories about the achievements of the mermaid princess and other Disney heroes.

There are also times when the same story diverges into multiple separate stories that seemingly have no connection to one another. For example, there is a story where a princess marries a street rat (clearly referencing Aladdin) and they live happily ever after in spite of the difference in their social statuses. However, there simultaneously exists a story in which the Sorcerer of the Sands saves a princess from being deceived by a fake prince (also referencing Aladdin). The same goes for the mermaid princess (Ariel)—there is both a story referring to a “mermaid princess” who married a human prince and also a different story (clearly still pulled from the same film) about a mermaid who made a deal with the Sea Witch to find true love but broke her contract in the end.

Very cool idea, just not sure where it would lead or it it’s feasible or worth it monetarily for Disney.

[lucemet]

What is Amalia's outift 😭

Was just looking at the meeting between the royals for my story, and I literally just noticed how this servant is wearing exactly what Amalia wears in S3 and 4.

So.. Either Amalia is wearing a literal servants outfit, or this is just a common outfit among the Sadida females. To make sure I wasn't jumping the gun or anything I decided to check sources like the games or Wakfu to see the outifts that female Sadidas adorn, and uh..

And for the most part, all I've seen are the same leafy shorts and a white tanktop, or some variation of a leaf dress. Either I haven't caught the other Sadidas with this costume, or there aren't any aside from this servant. For the sake of my ego, I'll go the latter.

In that case, why is Amalia (a Sadida ROYAL) wearing something like this? Aside from how plain this outfit is character design wise, it doesn't suit her status. I understand that she can't wear a full ballgown to battle, but she could have an 'elevated' version of this at least. Maybe a pantsuit, like this one for example:

(Just replace the top part with some leaves and the pants with her beige pants.)

Or, if you want to do something more royal, a shortened dress could work just fine. It doesn't have to be big or ornate to be pretty, it just has to be more than a potato sack :/

And about the servant wearing the same outfit as Amalia, there could be a chance that instead of solely being a servant's outfit, it could be something worn by those in or working for the royal court.

Who knows, right? All that matters is that Amalia exists 🤭

(The Great Wave will probably change that, but still.)

[katyaromanoffpetrova]

Masterlist

Thank you for visiting my masterlist! All the oneshots below are connected to my Ghost Series that you can read on Wattpad or AO3. So if you're interested in Kat and Nat's full story, I direct you there :)

I'm currently not writing requests, but maybe in the future I'll open them.

Oneshots

❥ A first (very insecure) Valentine's: It's Natasha's first Valentine's Day with her girlfriend, and she struggles more with the concept of love and romance than she feared | wordcount: 3.9k

❥ It's lights out and away we go: Natasha isn't the only one obsessed with the motorcycle her wife got her. Turns out it's perfect for knocking Katya's ego down a notch as well | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ The only fool on April Fools': Natasha thought she came up with the best prank ever. But she forgot exactly who she was trying to prank | wordcount: 2.7k

❥ Spicy cake: Katya finds a new way to communicate her needs | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ Emoji, questionmark: Katya receives a special text from Natasha, who is very... appreciative of her muscles | wordcount: 3.1k

Series

❥ A lifetime of dates: After being together for twenty years, Natasha and Katya have been on many dates in their lifetime. In this series, we see one from every part of their lives | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

❥ Is this the end?: Katya is new at SHIELD. When she messes up during her probation, she thinks Fury will send her away. To ease the pain, she distances herself from Nat | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Book canon short scenes

Really short scenes/drabbles that never made it into my books because they didn't fit into a chapter but did happen in the canon storyline.

❥ Thrown in the deep end: Katya doesn't set foot into a swimming pool anymore after some serious trama. Or does she? | wordcount: 1k

❥ Our goddess and savior: Natasha Romanoff: Katya is good at ending up in bad situations. Natasha is good at getting her out of them | wordcount: 1.7k

❥ Inked surprises: What's better than getting tattoos? Surprising your wife with them! | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ 2 + 1 = 3: Maya is six and will be placed in foster care soon, much to Katya's fear and pain, but Natasha has other ideas | wordcount: 1.4k

Alternative Universe (AU)

What if...

❥ too much time has passed?: Instead of running into her in 2007, Natasha doesn't see Katya again until 2018, when she and Yelena manage to break free from the Red Room's brainwashing. Katya isn't as eager to see Natasha again | wordcount: 3.4k

❥ they don't run together?: Instead of going on the run together after the Accords, Natasha and Katya split up for safety reasons. They barely see each other. Until Kat surprises Nat on that ferry to Norway | wordcount: 1.2k

[laventadorn]

I am madly in love with the way you described Dumbledore in TNER. It's one of my favorite characters, but I know so few works where he really resembles the book version. You've done it perfectly. And I'm curious, what do you generally think of such a controversial personality?

aw, thank you! :3

dumbledore is super polarizing (or do most people hate him these days? i'm always reading pro-snape stories and Dumbledore is persona non grata in those akgjaj not sure how he shakes down in other parts of fandom).

to me, characters are either boring or interesting. within these designations, you can have different shades: "aggressively uninterested" or "just don't think about them at all," vs. "their psychology intrigues me" to "i must hereafter shape my identity around my new blorbo" (e.g. snape!)

dumbledore is my "his psychology intrigues me" type. he fascinates me. what the heck is his deal. he lets harry run around doing the most insane things with monsters and bodily harm, lets snape run around doing the most insane things to his students egos; lets the marauders do whatever the heck was going on there; hires a dude wearing voldemort as an accessory, and gilderoy lockheart -- the list is endless. but then! he's genuinely kind to house-elves. he's completely free of werewolf prejudice, and other prejudices besides (apart from the Youthful World Domination phase in which he hated muggles and stuff). he does seem to be genuinely kind and caring. he's also idolized by the narrative, talked up pretty much at every turn.

there's a kind of cognitive dissonance to the guy.

the narrative for six books: omg dumbledore is THE most amazing. the kindest, the most enlightened, the most trustworthy, the one harry trusts without reserve, the one who gives everyone strength, the only one voldemort fears, defeater of grindelwald, also he loves candy! proof he's the best.

the Secret Backstory dropped in the last book: uhm ACTUALLY

the narrative again: NO HE'S STILL THE BEST. ignore harry dying. THE BEST. ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER. SEE?

to be clear, none of this bothers or annoys me. i just don't think of it that way. what i do think is that JKR was trying to finagle something she didn't quite have the subtlety to pull off.

once we get his full backstory, we have a guy who 1) went through a world domination phase with the man he loved 2) accidentally murdered his own sister 3) realized the path he was on would lead to widespread destruction 4) isolated himself from the world because he couldn't be trusted, either with power or with love.

this is my favorite thing about dumbledore: he locks himself up in a tower because he believes, or understands, himself to be an incredible danger to life and liberty. he cannot be trusted. he proves this over and over: first with the safety of his siblings; then the safety of the larger world; and finally, tragically, the safety of harry. he doesn't even trust himself, although he continues to act as if his judgments are without fault or flaw. he tells harry that because his intellect is greater than most people's, his errors tend to be correspondingly huger -- a line that leads harry to believe dumbledore made the wrong judgement about snape, of course, but which is actually about dumbledore's own youth. but the fact that dumbledore turned down an official position of power (minster for magic) and sequestered himself in hogwarts from a young age, that's him not trusting himself, and knowing it, and removing himself from the temptation of widespread influence and public control.

his past wrong judgements become more impactful when we understand he was in love with grindelwald and probably still harbors some tangled knot of feelings. HP is a series about love -- voldemort never understood it, was conceived in violation of it; harry was protected by an act of love from lily, who died for him, and an act of love from snape, who lived for her. harry's patronus, the purest expression of joy that magic is capable of manifesting, is borne of his own love for his father. harry's enduring love for the family he never knew protects him not only from voldemort's touch but from his influence -- he declares he'll never Join the Dark Side because voldemort killed his parents. "you are protected," says dumbledore, "by your ability to love." this was not true for dumbledore.

harry's love purifies his intent and gives him courage. snape's love (again, see his vow, his patronus) turns him off a path of evil to one of self-sacrifice. dumbledore's love, by contrast, killed his sister, destroyed his relationship with his brother, allowed a villain to rise to power. i just think, damn. what must dumbledore feel when he looks at it that way?

i love the inherent destructiveness of loving something monstrous; loving something when you don't want to. there's a notion that we are what we love, or that our love is some reflection of ourselves. if we look at it like that, then dumbledore loving someone evil says a lot about him. but he was frightened by it, so he locked himself away.

he also combines what appears to be a great capacity for compassion with an equal capacity to sacrifice anything necessary in order to achieve a goal he's constructed as worthy.

this makes sense, too: in a way, he sacrificed himself all those years ago -- his plans, his future, his love, because the price was too high. dumbledore in his youth thought that he could Save the World by controlling people. then he realized that control has only ever doomed the world, but he never quite let go of saving the world. when voldemort rises, dumbledore takes a different tack of becoming a private general, or perhaps a military advisor: still largely removed from the thick of war but directing others, who are relieved and grateful to have his plans of attack. he also deeply inspires people, harry being one of the most powerful examples. harry places his absolute trust in dumbledore, believing that this person loves him (which he does) and will always protect him (which he can't) -- and dumbledore betrays this trust by openly acknowledging that, for the freedom of the world, harry needs to die.

it hurts dumbledore to realize that harry has to die in order for the world to be saved; it hurts him so badly he (as i see it) pawns off the truth-telling to snape. he can't look snape in the eye when he tells him; he can't look at anything. he shuts his eyes as if blindness will make it easier.

dumbledore could face the truth, the necessity. he doesn't say "we'll find another way," he says "harry must die." but he couldn't face harry. his desire to save the world once again places him in a position where he has to hurt someone he loves. and he does it. in a way, he keeps playing himself.

i LOVE that.

.....i wrote a lot more than i thought i would akgajgkahjh well, he's one of your favorites, so hopefully you didn't mind!

[artsyhamster]

And we've reached the end! I cannot believe we made it but here are the final four. :)

You know the drill by now, explanations and ramblings underneath the cut :D

(1) THE FOOL / THE MAGICIAN / THE HIGH PRIESTESS |

(2) THE EMPRESS / THE EMPEROR / THE HIEROPHANT |

(3) THE LOVERS / THE CHARIOT / STRENGTH |

(4) THE HERMIT / WHEEL OF FORTUNE / JUSTICE |

(5) THE HANGED MAND | DEATH | TEMPERANCE |

(6) THE DEVIL / THE TOWER / THE STAR |

(7) THE MOON / THE SUN / JUDGEMENT / THE WORLD

THE MOON - As I mentioned in the previous set, I had The Star and The Moon exchanged at first. Colorwise I found the Balcony Smoker to be more fitting but descriptionwise.... "[The fool's] bliss (...) makes him vulnerable to the illusions of the Moon" fit Klaasje more. I feel like Harry related to her on a level and of course was drawn to her beauty, and fell for her deception. Or well at least I did lol. Although I don't even want to call it deception, more like...obfuscation in self-defense. Klaasje on the rooftop staring at a moon seemed like a nice visual image too.

THE SUN - I had. So much trouble. Filling this role. Since The sun stands for everything warm and joyous. "It enlightens, so the Fool both feels and understands the goodness of the world." And it's pretty hard to find something joyous in Revachol. I almost chose Ruby just for the orange aesthetics and the sort of... enlightenment. But considering she might shoot herself in the head, I refused to put her in the role of the sun. I wanted to save the Insulidan phasmid for THE WORLD at first, but I am damn happy I let go of that thought. Especially since the story starts and begins with the fool anyway. SO YEAH. I love this stick bug.... I cannot describe it. After you go through this whole bleak game, filled with death, misery, failure and coldness you find this...walking wonder. And the soundtrack to this encapsulates it so well, too. The phasmid scene always fills me with so much happiness T_T

JUDGEMENT - Also one of the the cards that were pretty clear to me from the beginning. Trant looks pretty menacing here but I love it lol. I added a small Harry, because under the judging eyes of his colleagues, everyone would feel small. "The Fool has been reborn. His false, ego-self has been shed, allowing his radiant, true self to manifest." The radiance is debatable, but Harry definitely went through a lot of development in the past few days and hopefully he came out a better person. He isn't absolved of his past mistakes and further judged on those, rather he is judged on the things he did right. And I don't know, what I like about Harry in general is that he is an absolute fuckup but if you give a person the right support and faith in them to be better, they can. If you keep reminding people only of the things they've done wrong, you are taking their room to grow, by defining them as an irredeemable failure.

THE WORLD - "The Fool reenters the World, but this time with a more complete understanding. He has integrated all the disparate parts of himself and achieved wholeness. He has reached a new level of happiness and fulfillment." Well, what can I say. Our fool Harry started this journey full of ignorance but he opened his eyes to the mistakes of the past and learned from them, and is now hopefully ready to tackle life anew. And I love the last sentence of The Fool's story: This cycle is over, but, the Fool will never stop growing. Soon he will be ready to begin a new journey that will lead him to ever greater levels of understanding. While this chapter of his life is over, there'll be new stories to be told. Setbacks and more opportunities to grow, and only time will tell where his journey will lead him this time.

Thanks to everyone who followed me and Harry on this journey and read through my ramblings. Also thanks for all the lovely tags & comments, it was an absolute pleasure reading through these. <3 Much Love!

[linkspooky]

Yu-Gi-Oh GX and Alchemy: Rubedo

Yu-Gi-Oh GX is an anime that uses Alchemy symbolism to tell it's story. Specifically it follows the journey of Judai as an apprentice alchemist tasked with producing the Great Work in Alchemy and forginf of the philosopher's stop.

Each season is based off the four Stages of turning lead into gold and crafting the philosopher's tone. Season 1 is Nigredo or 'Blackening'. Season 2 is Albedo or 'Whitening', Season 3 is Citrinitas and Season 4 is Rubedo the final stage.

This analysis of Season 4 will explore Rubedo, symbolized by the color red, the element of Earth, and Judai growing into an full-fledged adult by incorporating Yubel, his other half / other self. The two of them together makes a whole person, and season 4 continues developing their relationship as they seek redemption for their actions in season 3 together.

The Philosopher's Stone as a Metaphor for Growth

I often talk about the Philosopher's Stone as the end goal of the alchemical process, but now that we've reached Rubedo where the Philosopher's stone is forged I'd like to discuss in depth what the Philosopher's stone actually represents.

Jung used alchemy as a metaphor for psyhcological development. He related each stage of alchemy to an aspect of psychoanalysis and the process as a whole to the proess of individuation.

Jung defined individuation as as the optimal path to personal development for an individual. Judai is one of the most flawed Yu-Gi-Oh protagonists and part of his journey is learning to recogize his flaws and grow up.

As Jung explains in Two Essays on Analytical Psychology:1

The aim of individuation is nothing less than to divest the self of the false wrappings of the persona on the one hand, and the suggestive power of the primordial images on the other.

Judai's growth requires two things recognizing two things about himself.

The social mask and false identity the ego created for itself in the course of early development, and

The unconscious influences of the archetypes.

That is combining both the outward mask which is used to socially interact with others the persona, and the shadow which is the hidden part of the personality made up of every personality trait we try to avoid showing to others.

The process of individuation is incorporating both of these into your personality so you can be a more well-rounded person. For Judai this means by the end of Season 4 he's aware of his outer persona, a fun-loving persona who enjoys duels, but also his suppressed personality flaws that are represented mirrored in Yubel. Judai's relationship with his Yubel is a metaphor for this, first rejecting everything about Yubel, and eventually fusing with Yubel and incorporating several of Yubel's traits into themself. Season 4 is an analysis of their post super polymerization relationship and also the changes in Judai after fusing with Yubel.

Jung defined each stage of alchemy as a metaphor for a different part of the personality as defined by psychoanalysis, in Rubedo one becomes their complete self.

In an archetypal schema, rubedo represents the Selfarchetype, and is the culmination of the four stages, the merging of ego and Self. It is also described as a stage that gives birth to a new personality. [Source.]

Judai and Yubel don't just forge a philosopher's stone together, by fusing and completing a chemical wedding / a union of opposites they quite literally become a philosopher's stone. As the philosopher's stone is symbolic of the end result of personal growth.

As stated in Get Your Gender On: Jaden Yuki and Yubel:

Conceptually Yubel also draws from the mythical Rebis, the idealized human that alchemists believed formed when creating a philosopher’s stone: “The alchemists, in their quest for philosophical gold, considered the world to be influenced and manipulated by a multitude of paired forces: wet and dry, cold and hot, sun and moon, male and female, proton and neutron, etc. When these opposing forces are harmonized and balanced through synthesis, creation is commenced. The Great Hermaphrodite is an amalgam of this union.” 

Now moving onto Judai's personal growth in Season 4 and his developing relationship with Yubel. (For those curious about Johan I already made a comprehensive post for him here, if I cover both Johan and Yubel in the same post this post will be way longer than it already is.)

The Red Phase

The last season incorporates a lot of symbolism for the final stage of alchemy. In particular, the color red, the element of air, and finally the completion of Judai's personal growth by the anime still holding Judai for his worst flaws, and showing that fusing with Yubel did not fix all of his problems and he still has a lot of growing to do.

To begin with Judai spends majority of the season isolated from his former friends, spending most of his time in the Osiris Red dorm. Judai's cutting out all his friends from his life is also a big no-no when it comes to Alchemy, because alchemy is also a metaphor for refining your relationships with people into better versions. Since the Persona, the part of yourself you present to other people is half of your identity, relationships with people is necessary for your psychological development.

One of the first things Judai is called out for this season is pushing away his friends, particularly by Asuka. This is after an incident where Judai mistreats an already hospitalized Fubuki. Remember in Season 3 one of Judai's biggest flaws was allowing his friends to come to harm because he was too focused on himself to see his suffering.

Asuka: You've changed. Judai: There are some things you can never change back.

Judai not handling his trauma from Season 4 is understandable after all, also his decision to distance himself from his friends after all he literally did watch them die. However, Judai never attempts to communicate this to his friends, instead choosing to withdraw from them completely without even an explanation.

In doing this he repeats a lot of his flaws from Season 3. After all, one of Manjoume biggest callouts from Season 3 is that Judai is the only person in his own kingdom (meaning he never tries to understand other people's points of view). So, making decisions for other people and assuming he knows best is repeating this flaw.

This is something highlighted in his decision to attempt to leave the island when he senses the oncoming threat of darkness trying to handle it on his own, which Saiou points out: 1) Won't solve the problem, and 2) he's not the only one involved because his friends are in danger too. Once again Judai only thinks of himself ad doesn't even consider his friends might be in potential danger as well, or might want to help him.

Saiou: Judai the chairman and I are vaguely aware what happened to you. Saiou: I know how you feel, but this is a new mission that only you are capable of. Saiou: You cannot abandon it, and cannot desert your friends and leave this island.

In the same episode Judai has his first duel with Trueman / Darkness in a lava field. Not only is this a reference to Season 1 his first major duel with Fubuki, but also the Nigredo stage, the first stage of alchemy, which is symbolized by the element of fire.

Why reference Nigredo in season 4 which is all about alchemy. Season 4 references Nigredo to represent Judai's risk of backsliding on his worst flaws and therefore failing his personal growth, represented by the process of reverse alchemy. This is also represented by the constant references to darkness and fire, Judai duels on a lava field, Judai duels Fubuki / Darkness again which both reference events in Season 1 the Nigredo season.

Austi who uses a fire attribute deck also has a long sequence where Trueman transforms into Austi (therefore as a metaphor for his shadow self, an "I am You" sort of thing, and then reveals Austin hidden trauma with a car accident that nearly got his mother killed and because of that he developed his indecisiveness and dependence on taking orders from other people which caused a lot of his flawed decisions in season 3) and by revealing these flaws Trueman literally causes Austi to dissolve and experience an ego death.

You chose me - the with the skills that you needed to survive. All so you would survive. That holds true now. [...] But you couldn't forgive yourself. For making a choice you couldn't possibly make. YOu should have cried. You should have chosen to die with your father and mother. You should have been true to your emotions.

This reflects a deeply repressed insecurity of Austin's (to begin with he barely remembers the car accident and needs to be reminded of it) that he's a selfish coward who makes choices for his own benefit for survival. One of Austi's flaws is cowardice but he also is someone who confronts his cowardice and shows great bravery at times.

Which is another reason why the shadow must be integrated, just like you can't exhibit bravery without first battling cowardice, you can't improve your flaws if you don't know what they are ad confront them. Austinis also a clear foil for Judai, in Season 3 Austin and Judai both get worse before they can get better. Austin is on the side of Cobra and then commits a major act of cowardice by leaving his friend Jim behind (once again acting in self preservation which he feels guilty about by doing with his mother) and he's also the one to fight and kill the supreme king who is the embodiment of Judai's worst self.

Austin's mini-arc in Domino City is also reflective of another flaw of Judai's. After being told several times this season that abandoning his friends to try to accomplish everything on his own will only make things worse this season, Judai abandons his friends to try to save Austin's when he's in trouble.

The people in Domino might be gone, for whatever frightful reason, but it’s O’Brien’s name that Judai obsessively calls out through the deserted streets. And there’s a very good reason for this. Judai is massively indebted to O’Brien for the latter’s actions in saving him fro himself in Season 3. So indebted that he likely doesn’t even know how to deal with the debt — especially not when O’Brien is being extremely helpful and useful to him, regardless of everything that happened before. So in Judai’s mind, there’s nothing but a very clear purpose, to the utter exclusion of all else, because of course he’ll rescue his own savior, the consequences be damned.

Recognize this attitude? You should — it’s the exact same that motivated him to run after his friend Johan Andersen to the other dimensions. With entirely disastrous results. Even with all that death and destruction on his conscience, our hero makes the exact same mistake and walks straight into the villain’s trap, who had known all too well that O’Brien would be the most tempting local bait for Yuki Judai.  [...] Yes, you read that right. Our hero almost handed complete victory to the villain by repeating the mistakes that put him on the road to damnation. And it is a goddamn brilliant bit of character writing, because core character flaws don’t just go away. They stay with us to the end of our days and all we can do is be conscious of their presence, their potential impact and mitigate them, to a degree [Source]

Something which has disastrous consequences, 1) nearly getting him killed in a trap with a warehouse rigged to explode, 2) he doesn't eve successfully save Austin and 3) While he's gone the darkness consumes the whole of duel academy island and Judai didn't even leave his friends with a warning that they might be in danger.

Judai is only saved from this situation because of his relationships, the same ones he's been neglecting for awhile because Johan shows up to snap Judai out of it when he's under darkness's thrall - (There's something meaningful about how Judai hallucinates Johan of all people as an enemy like, it's reflective of the unhealthy way he sees his friends). It's only at the point of Johan's appearance (alchemy requires the dissolution and reforming of bonds) that Judai begins accepting help. Johan is also the only person besides Yubel that Judai will accept help from.

Darkness as a whole is basically a metaphor for reverse alchemy, hence why there are a lot of associations with Nigredo, dueling in fire locations, parallels to season 1, all because Darkness represents the threat that Judai might reverse his character development and fall back on old habits rather than growing up and graduating.

A major theme for Season 4 too is graduation anxieties, it's something explored in Hell Kaiser Ryo's character who actually did regress because he couldn't cope with the pressures of adulthood and the fact that just because you're succesful in school doesn't translate to success in the real world. Judai is a character who's the most resistant to growing hence why one of the main themes of the whole series is Judai's journey to becoming an adult.

Judai's positive moments of development are associated with air, the elemental symbol of Rubedo. One of the biggest is his assistance of Honest, who he quite literally incorporates into his soul for awhile along Yubel, but is also the first duel spirit Judai is show helping onscreen. In Season 4 Judai is given a lot of new powers from Yubel, but Judai is not yet aware of what he can use these new powers for, and how to atone for his mass slaughter of duel spirits. He eventually ends up trying to take on Johan's dream for himself by choosing to become a mediator between Duel Spirits and people and helping Honest, and also helping Honest and Fujiwara reconcile is the first step towards that.

Judai: You're starting to break up, Mr. Darkness. The shadow that Fujiwara was caught in. It's starting to mark the end of the eclipse. You wat to come back. Fujiwara: So, you...You really didn't forget me? PLease... don't ever forget me. Honest: Of course.

Fujiwara is also a character like trueman who represents the danger of reverse alchemy. My friend @hamliet equates reverse alchemy to resisting grief and death in this post.

"Salem’s stuck in the second stage of grief (anger, denial was trying to get Oz back). Only by accepting Oz is gone and letting her tears dissolve her rage will she be refined. 

After Salem learns to grieve, I would assume she’d die and mayhaps join Oz in the afterlife while her body turns to dust (that last part is just me liking the poetry). Death is not a punishment in RWBY after all. 

Her name means “peace,” and I don’t doubt that that is exactly what her endgame will be: finding peace. I’ll leave you with a quote from Lyndy Abraham on the symbolism of peace in alchemy"

During the early, primitive stage of the opus, sulphur and mercury, body and spirit, are often referred to as the quarreling couple… the reconciliation of the couple is also known as the conversion of the four elements (see opus circulatorium). The elements with their opposing qualities are said to be warring, conflicting foes until reconciled and united in peace. 

To equate this to Yu-Gi-Oh GX (Salem is a character in RWBY another work inspired by Alchemy btw if you're curious), Fujiwara's entire motivation is that he's afraid that just like he began to forget his parents that one day he will die and be forgotten therefore it's not worth attempting to connect with friends.

This isn't true as he's shown twice, through the bond with Fubuki who still tries to save him years after Fujiwara went missing and who's greatest regret is his inability to help Fujiwara to the point where he plans to end the duel in a draw so he can disappear together with Fujiwara this time and also his bond with Honest who impersonates him and investigates where he went literally years after the fact and after Fujiwara deliberately abandoned him.

Fujiwara rejects both death and grief, his inability to properly mourn his parents makes him incredibly insecure about his relationships. By rejecting grief he also rejects the value of relationships in the first place in favor of a nihilism to comfort himself, if all relationships have to end because life is by it's nature ephemeral then relationships have no meaning in the first place.

Fujiwara's broken relationship with Honest is also a parallel to Judai's relationship with Yubel in Season 3. They both abandon their spirit partner "for their own sake", Honest because Fujiwara did not want him hurt by the darkness, and Judai because he thought space might correct Yubel's dysfunction. The partner is deeply hurt, and one person in the partnership is deeply afraid of being forgotten (Fujiwara assumes all of his friends will forget him one day, and Yubel is actually forgotten by Judai which is part of their motivation for villainry). Judai begins his character development at the end of season 3 by reconciling with his spirit partner, and Judai is able to defeat Fujiwara by summoning Honest, and shakes him loose from Darkness's control by reminding him of his relationship with Honest.

It's likely no coincidence that Yubel finally shows up to duel alongside Judai immediately after Judai has helped a spirit reconcile with their partner.

As a brief aside I do think it is a writing flaw Yubel's only at the end of Season 4. I'm not sure why the writers made this choice, but if I were to come up with an in-story explanation it would be that a big part of the mystery of season 4 is whether or not Yubel is still there, and also Judai navigating what his new identity exactly means so maybe Yubel doesn't come out as an advisor until Judai was physically ready to accept their help (after accepting Johan's as well).

Yubel's introduction also references the fact that Judai forgot they were there again, the same way that Fujiwara forgot how much Honest cared for him.

Judai: So what, even if I'm all alone. Until the very end. Yubel: Come now, I wouldn't say that you're alone. Judai you may be a meat-headed scatter brain, but it's too soon for you to die. Judai: You've still got an attitude, huh? Yubel: Only because you forgot about me. You are not alone. I am with you. Judai: That's right. Inside me is another soul who believes in me.

Once again every moment of Judai's character growth and advancement to the Rubedo phase is when he acknowledges his friends, and it's really kickstarted at the end when Johan shows up to bail Judai out, showing him physically how much he still needs his friends because everytime he attempts to do everything on his own he biffs it.

At the end of the first mini-arc too, Judai duels the five-headed dragon (five heads symbolic of the five stages of alchemy, there are four to five stages depending on whether or not you count the rainbow / peacock feather stage) and afterwards is the moment wher Judai's relationship with his friends begins to improve and he spends the next arc trying to help them from the shadows after ignoring them early season.

Judai's moments of character growth come from when he opens himself up to the people around him instead of closing himself off. The climax of this being his final chemical wedding with Yubel where he forges the philosopher's stone by literally fusing Yubel with Neos his signature monster (the same way he at the end of season 3 symbolically fused Neos and Yubel's 3rd stage on the field together with super poly in order to fuse his and Yubel's soul).

This comes after Yubel is taken away from Judai (confronted with their worst fear again separation / abandonment) but this time Judai immediately tries to get them back and Yubel believes in him.

Judai: I'll get you back. Yubel: Of course you will.

This moment combined with Johan's sacrifice in the duel against Fujiwara shows that Judai can handle a separation from Yubel / Johan without completely spiraling (Yubel can also have faith that Judai will get them back too). The other significant moment to show the progress in Judai and Yubel's relationship from season 3 is Yubel suggesting the final play of the duel, which is removing their card from play in order to summon back Neos.

It's character development for both of them, one Yubel hated when Judai used any of their other monsters and insisted that Judai did not need friends besides them, but now they're the one to suggest Judai using Neos. Number two, Judai once again accepts Yubel's sacrifice and doesn't spiral when they're left alone.

Acceptance of death is required for a rebirth in alchemy and the central tenant of dissolve et coagula. Judai has to let go of Yubel and also trust that they'll come back afterwards.

To quote Hamliet again:

So the main tenet of alchemy is solve et coagula: dissolve, and coagulate. Putrefy, and come together. Die, and be reborn. Each time the process happens the subject (in literature, the characters) become more and more refined.  Thus? Death is an integral part of alchemy, just as integral as life. The phoenix, which immolates and rises from its ashes, is a symbol of the completion of the work.

Judai's friends also putrefy and come back stronger, after dissolving into darkess quite literally, and being confronted with their worst fears, Judai's speech about all the mistakes he's made on their journey help them overcome it and return to Judai's side to watch the final move of the duel.

Nightshroud: Thou dost wield strength to fight on, but that is something that others lack. Judai: No.. you're the one who doesn't get it. I'm not strog at all. A while back my heart drowned in darkness. And I put my friends through some rough times. From that, I figured a few things out, and all I do is believe in them. As long as we believe in our cards we're not alone. The friends I've fought. The friends who've cheered me on. We're all linked by bonds that will never break.

In the GX manga it's stated the deck is a duelist's soul (the trading cards are magic and their power comes from literal sentient spirits so this connection with their cards is thematically important to the lore of the show, it's kind of like how in Pokemon you're not supposed to abuse your pokemon or only value them for their strength). Nightshroud arose from the continued abuse duelists committed of their cards in seasons 1, 2, and 3 for personal gain. Kagerou abusing cards to gain eternal life, Saiou using his duels to brainwash people, and Judai in season 3 committing a mass slaughter of card spirits.

However, Judai is able to defeat Nightshroud by accepting he's treated his friends poorly in the past, but even so that bond hasn't broken because bonds are what support people at their lowest point.

Since alchemy = bonds with people then it's Judai finally acknowledging these bonds after spending a whole season running away from people again that Judai is finally able to forge gold (after the final chemical wedding with Yubel too, allowing Yubel to go through a symbolic death dissolving so they can coagulate again after the duel is over). He forges gold by forging god Neos, who is quite literally covered in gold armor.

The forging of the philosopher's stone is also meant to radiate out to the whole world and effect the world as a whole. This is because of the concept of as above, so below, or the Microcosmos of the world of humans effecting the Macrocosmos of the world of the heavens.

This is an incredibly common theme in all four seasons of GX, Judai stopping Kagerou from using the three mythic beasts saves the card spirits who were being drained in season 1, in season 2 Judai quite literally saves the macrocosmos / the heavens / space from the light of destruction by winning a duel against Saiou, in season 3 fusing with Yubel prevents the destruction of the 12 dimmesions, and finally in season 4 Judai's win against Nightshroud not only breaks his control with his friends but also convinces card spirits around the world to give duelists a second chance and banishes away the darkness that was created by the continued abuse.

The final stage of Judai's development is also to travel out into the world to help the relationships between humans ad spirits, after finding balance between himself and Yubel.He also is planning on using his abilities as a human / fusion spirit in order to do this. In essence after Judai became the philosopher stone he's now using the power of the philosopher stone to make changes to the macrocosmos.

Judai: And there might be people in the world who'll need our help. We're going on a journey to find them.

This is also a atonement for Judai's mass slaughter of duel spirits in season 3 and Yubel being the cause of that ad nearly harming the 12 dimmensions in their desire to reunite with Judai (both of these actions caused by a combination of extreme selfishess ad extreme grief). Judai can't do anything to undo the damage he's done but he can still help people and make a positive differece i the world.

At the end of the series Judai is fully individuated, not only is he able to reclaim his enjoyment of duels but the members he sets out on the journey with are representative of each stage of individuation. Yubel pulls double duty as the Shadow in Nigredo, and also the Anima / Animus in Albedo because Yubel is very gender and represents both the feminine ad masuline. Daitokuji comes along for the journey because as Judai's mentor in alchemy he represents the integration of Sophia / Wisdom in Citrinatis. Whereas finally Judai himself, dressed in his Osiris Red, represents the completed individuated self in Rubedo.

Finally Season 4 represents the final four splendor solis plates.

Plate 19 - The Dark Sun is referenced quite literally by darkness's take over of the world. Neo Domino city turn into a dark place, Darkness not only physically blocking out the sun, but Judai referring to Darkness's control over Fujiwara as an eclipse, Darkness's causing almost the entire cast to dissolve and be transported to a dimmension where they experience their worst fears on repeat.

According to Mythcraft plate 19 reprsents:

In plate nineteen, we see a picture of a sun with a human face, but instead of shining brightly in the sky, the sun is rendered transparent within the earth, its face dejected. While its golden rays peek above the horizon, the sun itself is blackened. The sun seems sunken into the earth, the rivers and soil running through it. In the foreground we can see dead trees, their outer layers blackened and decayed. The text accompanying this chapter tells us that: “This Dissolution is nothing but a killing of the moist with the dry, in fact a PUTREFACTION, and consequently turns the MATTER black”. We can see the mixing of the dry and the moist in the plate when the rivers overlay the transparent sun. The sun is black, the blackening the first of the colored stages, the nigredo, that we see in alchemy. In spiritual alchemy, it is the self-realization, and breaking down of our own personal structures so we can rebuild ourselves again. Sometimes this includes a journey to the underworld, a sinking down into the darkness and the earth, as the sun is doing.

The entire season is a callback to the nigredo phase of alchemy, and to complete the final step on their journey the characters have to literally dissolve and putrefy, confronting their worst anxieties and fears of the future in order to overcome them and reform again.

According to mythcrafts the last four stages of the Solis Plates are a recap of the four stages of alchemy as a whole, the same way that the last season does a comprehensive recap of the four stages in order to finally move Judai onto Rubedo.

Now Solomon Trismosin gives us four stages, starting with dissolution. The goal is the same, but as we will see in the other plates of this series, we are looking through the lens of the human condition and spiritual alchemy rather than the chemical alchemy occurring in the alembic flask.

All of the characters take journeys to the underworld by being subjected to their own personal hells (in a very hell-like dimmension) only to reform themselves out of sheer will and come back on the other side stronger. I'm not sure how literally a reference for a solis plate called Black Sun by having a character called Darkness who literally blots out the sun.

Splendor Solis #20 - Children at Play

The frame of this plate is again swarming with animals of transformation. Butterflies, birds, and insects dance around the edges. We also see various earlier forms, caterpillars and larvae, and blossoms that will eventually turn into fruit.  Within the frame we see this echoed; a plate devoted to first stage of the human lifecycle, the juvenile child, who has form, yet has not yet learned wisdom and developed spiritually. In the previous plate, we saw the first operation of this four-stage series, dissolution. This plate represents coagulation, or the reforming of the solid matter. These children represent the forming of the body, before the spirit and soul are fully recognized and assimilated. Both the adults, the mother and the servant girl are clothed in ornate red gowns, the color suggesting that they have reached the final stage of their journey, the Rubido.

This one is pretty straightforward to as in the final battle all the main characters Sho, Asuka, Manjoume, Fubuki, and Fujiwara all dissolve in order to come back as stronger versions of themselves. Signalling both Dissolve et Coagula, and also the end of childhood and the end of their journey from children into adults.

The bleaching and whitening of the linen also symbolizes the movement from the black nigredo stage into the white albedo stage. In the lower right-hand corner of the plate, resting on a washing tub is a black cloth, suggesting that it too will become white after washing. The text aligns the process of sublimation to this plate, the process of distillation. Note the heavy clouds that sit above the women washing; these too are part of the process. The women boil, wash and rinse the material, and then dry them in the sun, the water is sent back into the clouds, and comes back down again to create the rivers with which the linen is washed.

Splendor Solis: Plate 21 - Women Washing Clothes

From Mythcrafts.

This being the proper philosophical sublimation, by means of which the perfect method is carried out. And this is why this Art is compared to Woman’s Work, which consists in cooking and roasting until it is done. – Solomon Trismosin Albedo, while meaning white, also literally means ablution, which means washing away impurities. Ritual cleansing is used in many religious rites to purify the body. This part of the alchemical process is the longest: the constant washing and repetition, though it is also called the lesser work. This process is readying the material (or body) to regain its purity and receptivity for the soul.

While this one is not refereced visually by the first two it still connects thematically to both the final battle and the resolution of the work, after all women's work is a metaphor for the hard work of purifying after facing your worst traits in nigredo and the final battle and graduation ends with the main characters finding the resolution to continue the struggle to become adults in the real world now that they've left childhood and the nest that was Duel Academy.

Also there is a mini-arc for Manjoume where he actually has to do women's work of being an overworked intern for Edo only to realize that Edo is also someone who overworks himself for his fans and the orphans he's supporting financially which inspires Manjoume to actually take his dream of becoming a pro duelist seriously.

Now to cap this post off. The final splendor solis which matches the final shot of the anime perfectly.

(He even has a napsack.)

Just like Judai's journey has come to an end so now must we conclude our analysis of the four stages of alchemy in the four seasons of Yu-Gi-Oh Gx! I hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I've enjoyed writing these long, long posts.

However, just like all endings are new beginnings this isn't the last Yu Gi Oh meta post I'm planning to make so please look forward to that.

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen ep. 4 Review

Here I am after finishing the last episode of MCL New Gen ready to give my honest and unasked opinion about it. Fasten your seatbelts cause we are about to start and i'm not gonna be gentle

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So the episode opens with Elenda who's basically trying to drag us so bad to the Cosey Bear because apparently Castiel was serving there ( No judgement toward Elenda, i wanted to see my husband too). Unfortunately for me and her, he already had left when we showed up to the Cafe. >3>.

Seeing Lynn animated was so cute and a little bit nostalgic but nothing compared to the GASP I emitted when she started talking to Thomas and he told her he was in love with her. GEEEEZ, now i get why that kid was a pain in the ass and RUINED my pic-nic date with Tomato head, THE DOTS CONNECTED. Btw it was a very cute scene and a tribute to Iris that I hope she will show up in Thomas' route.

Moving on, inspired by Thomas' love confession, everybody starts talking about their love life (expected since the episode's name is hearts looking for love). And this is where things went horribly cringe and outrageous: Ofc i'm not talking about Elenda and Devon ( It was cute to know that she had a crush on Devon and, about him, a little peak to where the story is possibly going to lead - a busy man that works his ass off so bad for Devenementiel and has no time to date)or Amanda but about ROY and BRUNE.

Hoooooly shit, the chill of second hand embarassment that I got just by reading the interractions between these two was undescribable I swear( Elenda became basically my guide spirit: her reaction was the same i had. ). Everything was so outofcontext and nonsense that I'm actually wondering why Beemov decided it was a great idea to give space to something so....childish? I mean, we're talking about (almost) 30yo people.. and they got together because they were...desperate??????? - "Yeah with my exes things weren't doing good so we decided to date even tho we don't talk, don't touch and fell uncomfortable with each other" - COOOME ON, BFR, you guys ok? Also, I really hope that we're gonna discover something deeper about Roy (or that he's going to get a development at least) that makes him more that what i can pick up and feel from him right now: childish Gymrat fixed on pool that give us nothing. I'm genuine deluded about the way they handled this.

Moving on to JASON PART. He basically shows up when we're still talking sitted by the table. I was obviously expecting the part where he was going to be pointed out as a "womanizer" but what I DID NOT EXPECT was the reaction he had when he overhears our conversation: I felt him being sarcastic as usual but at the end i felt he was kinda....hurt??? idk if you get what i mean, he literally said he had REASONS why he doesn't want to be in full term relationship and this opens my mind to an INFINITE AMOUNT OF THEORIES

Connected to what I've read on some theories here, someone said it's because of the condition ( or the pathology) that made his hair go white...

This is a really good point but I genuine think about something else that is connected to this and the SHOCK NUMBER 2: Why Devenementiel hates Jason so much?

Apparently our "proud and superior" man with an incredible fragile ego had PLAGIARIZED the project the would have helped Devon to found Devenementiel and, because of that, he was fired and disqualified by the contest. So...first things first: PIECE OF SHIT. Secondly, I genuine would have never thought about him doing something like this and that's the reason why i don't think he did it because he wanted to but perphaps he WAS PUSHED to do so.

Another theorie said that probably he was helped by a third person that played dirty and suggested him the same project Devon did

And I have to admit that this is something very likely, but stil don't really convince me too much.

We can clearly see that Jason has a lot of money, A LOT, and by the way he has so much money i'm assuming he comes from a family that at least has the same amount of capital he has now. We got told that he was basically working as an employer (if i remember correctly) so why trying to steal something from others if you are satisfied and don't need a job? perhaps because you NEED that first place to REDEEM yourself and PROVE someone wrong at least so that.. THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS. That's where his family and the white hair make their part: A Dad Ceo that basically disgraced his Son because he couldn't follow or keep up with the family business or - he wasn't good enough- for the role ( and that's why the white hair, because of the stress) . Another thing that might prove this is the fact that Devon told us that he had "private investors" and...i mean, if you're broke, i don't think you can find them just by snapping your fingers and make them appear in front of you, especially when you get fired and disqualified in a competition. He could have use the "family" name and hi charisma to persuade the investors to help him found Goldreamz. And THIS leads me to the last point: Why no long term relationship? Because his family has to end with him and he's scared of the consequences that a partner can have in his life. This reminded me so much Simon from Bridgerton btw. So yeah...I might be wrong (99%) but i want to think that he's a piece of shit just because he's hurt.

His special scene was normal i guess, i love the way my candy was looking at the instagram photos be like - "i'm just studying the enemy...not doing something wrong..maybe".

In the end i decided to try for the Thomas illustration and nothing to complain about, the scene was genuine one of the most cute one in the game so fare and the ilusstration 10/10 chef's kiss and handshake by the president.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Trouble's Brewing Remake: What's it about, and why is it happening?

//So, I think I kept everyone waiting for quite a while after I announced this, and I think it's finally time that I explain what's going to happen with this arc, and what it's all about.

//After some deep reflection and feedback, I realized there were areas that could be improved, and I’m really excited about the direction this rewrite is taking. I know some of you might have questions, so I wanted to address a few that might be on your mind. From what inspired the change, to how this will affect the story moving forward, and what new things you can expect, I’ll cover it all right here.

//No need for a long, drawn out explanation, so let's get started.

1 - Why is Trouble's Brewing being re-written?

//The simple answer is because it's easily the most outdated arc of the story.

//For those who haven't seen the beginning of this blog, this was before I came up with the structure that I currently have, and suffice to say, the plot of the first arc was rushed, and didn't really explain ANYTHING. It was just a quickly fumbled together introduction with no real characterization.

//Basically, all it was designed to do was drop Shuichi and his friends into the world, and it didn't have much of a story besides that.

//The reason why I'm rewriting Trouble's Brewing, and making it from scratch, is to take that plot, and actually make a full-length story arc for it, instead of a few quick posts that were hastily scrapped together, and uncomfortably bad compared to my current writing.

//Now, normally, I really hate the idea of going back and recreating work that I've already made, but in this case, I have more than one good reason for doing so. Considering he's still a key player in the story, it's also the first chance I have to actually use Kuripa's new sprites as part of the story, as well as to give a little more early characterization to some characters who severely needed it in preparation for future arcs.

2 - Will the new arc change the overall direction of the story?

//Yes, but not massively.

//The general plot of the arc will be the same. It will generally be set up to explain the world, the current state of the Future Foundation, as well as introduce the V3 kids into the fray, and the OC's like Kuripa.

//All this is is me taking that original story, and expanding it into something full fledged, like all the current arcs do.

3 - Are key characters being changed or removed?

//I'm sure a lot of people are wondering this, and the answer is yes.

//Because this takes place at the very beginning of the story, the following characters, who only appear in later arcs, will not be featured: Junko Chiaki Alter Ego Junko Kizakura Munakata Yukizome Kaede Ryoma Kirumi Angie Tenko Miu Kaito Kokichi Tsumugi Keebo Gonta Rantaro Kiyo Monaca Yuta Taichi Sora Mikako Teruya Setsuka Iroha Syobai Mikado Kanata Kanade Akane Taira Ando Hibiki Yamato Akeru Mikihiko Yosaku Kana Misako Kanjiro Seina Shozo Ryo Akira Narumi Misuzu Eloise Taulner Kibin Karma Matta Tsutsuji Ella Hanami Mii-Yu Mona Eden Maya Four Hunter Kouji Leona Oliver Yomi Yui Kanon Natsumi Kuroba Solana

//And a few other characters on top of that. Just...anybody who was not present prior to the first arc, so most of the V3 characters, sans Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko

//However there are also characters that will be coming back for the arc, namely Hajime, Yukari, and regular Himiko.

4 - How will the asks function? Will there be any for this arc?

//To make it easier on myself, no. But I will not be closing the box during the duration.

//Asks will be asked in the context of where the story is currently. Because it's a rewrite, I want Trouble's Brewing to be entirely story.

//After all, there's not much point in asking questions when most people already know the current plot developments. There isn't much potential for questions when the reset button gets hit.

5 - How different will the rewritten arc be from the original?

//As I said before, the basic plot is the same, but it's been expanded to include more character moments, story beats, and just...plot in general. Below, I've included some of the important considerations for those looking forward to it:

The main characters of the arc are the Branch 14 trio, i.e. Makoto, Mukuro, and Kuripa.

As teased in the title though, all the main protagonists (with the exception of Kaede, who is not present at this point in the story) will play significant roles in the plot, Shuichi especially.

Yukari Koime will be the main antagonist of the arc. The reason is because I feel that her introduction in Neo World was a bit too bare bones for how important she is throughout Phases 1 and 2, and I wanted more of a chance to have her be the main antagonist.

The big key difference of this arc, compared to the original, is that Maki and Himiko don't just show up as easily as Shuichi does. Like in the original Trouble's Brewing, Shuichi will appear through a wormhole and arrive on Jabberwock Island, but unlike their rushed arrival in the original arc, the main plot of this new arc will involve the Future Foundation tracking down and rescuing Maki and Himiko, to help reunite them with Shuichi. Effectively, it;'s something of a Saving Private Ryan kind of story.

6 - Will we see new scenes or characters?

//Yes, and yes.

//Although, for whatever new characters we DO add to this, don't expect them to stick around for the rest of the story. We need to kind of retain the canonicity, and it doesn't make sense for new characters to appear, and then not be present for the rest of the story.

//The new scenes are designed to better establish the current state of the world 8 years after DR3, and to establish the new characters, like Kuripa and Mukuro, although they don't have their current development, of course.

7 - Can we still access the original version?

//Yes, of course, it should hopefully still be up. But the whole premise of this is to improve the first part of the story, so hopefully, you won't need, nor want to after this.

8 - Will the themes or tone of the story change?

//I can't say for certain, but if they do, it'll likely be to better elaborate and improve upon the general themes of Survivor as a whole, so that new readers can get better acquainted with the premise.

//I think for now, that's it. If there are any other questions about this, please ask me, and I will answer as best I can.

[lunchboxpoems]

PRISM

1. Who can say what the world is? The world is in flux, therefore unreadable, the winds shifting, the great plates invisibly shifting and changing–

2. Dirt. Fragments of blistered rock. On which the exposed heart constructs a house, memory: the gardens manageable, small in scale, the beds damp at the sea’s edge–

3. As one takes in an enemy, through these windows one takes in the world:

here is the kitchen, here is the darkened study.

Meaning: I am master here.

4. When you fall in love, my sister said, it’s like being struck by lightning.

She was speaking hopefully, to draw the attention of the lightning.

I reminded her that she was repeating exactly our mother’s formula, which she and I

had discussed in childhood, because we both felt that what we were looking at in the adults

were the effects not of lightning but of the electric chair.

5. Riddle: Why was my mother happy?

Answer: She married my father.

6. “You girls,” my mother said, “should marry someone like your father.”

That was one remark. Another was, “There is no one like your father.”

7. From the pierced clouds, steady lines of silver.

Unlikely yellow of the witch hazel, veins of mercury that were the paths of the rivers–

Then the rain again, erasing footprints in the damp earth.

8. The implication was, it was necessary to abandon childhood. The word “marry” was a signal. You could also treat it as aesthetic advice; the voice of the child was tiresome, it had no lower register. The word was a code, mysterious, like the Rosetta stone. It was also a roadsign, a warning. You could take a few things with you like a dowry. You could take the part of you that thought. “Marry” meant you should keep that part quiet.

9. A night in summer. Outside, sounds of a summer storm. Then the sky clearing. In the window, constellations of summer.

I’m in a bed. This man and I, we are suspended in the strange calm sex often induces. Most sex induces. Longing, what is that? Desire, what is that?

In the window, constellations of summer. Once, I could name them.

10. Abstracted shapes, patterns. The light of the mind. The cold, exacting fires of disinterestedness, curiously

blocked by earth, coherent, glittering in air and water,

the elaborate signs that said now plant, now harvest–

I could name them, I had names for them: two different things.

11. Fabulous things, stars.

When I was a child, I suffered from insomnia. Summer nights, my parents permitted me to sit by the lake; I took the dog for company.

Did I say “suffered”? That was my parents’ way of explaining tastes that seemed to them inexplicable: better “suffered” than “preferred to live with the dog.”

Darkness. Silence that annulled mortality. The tethered boats rising and falling. When the moon was full, I could sometimes read the girls’ names painted to the sides of the boats: Ruth Ann, Sweet Izzy, Peggy My Darling–

They were going nowhere, those girls. There was nothing to be learned from them.

I spread my jacket in the damp sand, The dog curled up beside me. My parents couldn’t see the life in my head; when I wrote it down, they fixed the spelling.

Sounds of the lake. The soothing, inhuman sounds of water lapping the dock, the dog scuffing somewhere in the weeds–

12. The assignment was to fall in love. The details were up to you. The second part was to include in the poem certain words, words drawn from a specific text on another subject altogether.

13. Spring rain, then a night in summer. A man’s voice, then a woman’s voice.

You grew up, you were struck by lightning. When you opened your eyes, you were wired forever to your true love.

It only happened once. Then you were taken care of, your story was finished.

It happened once. Being struck by lightning was like being vaccinated; the rest of your life you were immune, you were warm and dry.

Unless the shock wasn’t deep enough. Then you weren’t vaccinated, you were addicted.

14. The assignment was to fall in love. The author was female. The ego had to be called the soul.

The action took place in the body. Stars represented everything else: dreams, the mind, etc.

The beloved was identified with the self in a narcissistic projection. The mind was the subplot. It went nattering on.

Time was experienced less as narrative than ritual. What was repeated had weight.

Certain endings were tragic, thus acceptable. Everything else was failure.

15. Deceit. Lies. Embellishments we call hypotheses–

There were too many roads, to many versions. There were too many roads, not one path–

And at the end?

16. List the implications of “crossroads.”

Answer: a story that will have a moral.

Give a counter-example:

17. The self ended and the world began. They were of equal size, commensurate, one mirrored the other.

18. The riddle was: why couldn’t we live in the mind.

The answer was: the barrier of the earth intervened.

19. The room was quiet. That is, the room was quiet, but the lovers were breathing.

In the same way, the night was dark. It was dark, but the stars shone.

The man in bed was one of several men to whom I gave my heart. The gift of the self, that is without limit. Without limit, though it recurs.

The room was quiet. It was an absolute, like the black night.

20. A night in summer. Sounds of a summer storm. The great plates invisibly shifting and changing–

And in the dark room, the lovers sleeping in each other’s arms.

We are, each of us, the one who wakens first, who stirs first and sees, there in the first dawn, the stranger.

LOUISE GLUCK

[moontale-official]

IVIS (from the UNDERTALE AU MOONTALE) - PART 27 - COMIC FINALE (pages 118-123)

START

PREV

NEXT (CHAPTER 5)

Two years. Man. It was long, and late 2022 hit me especially hard in both the best and worst ways possible. It started becoming a question of whether I could even finish this frankly over-ambitious project at all. Which, I realized I couldn't realistically finish it. Not even close.

But the last thing I wanted was to cancel it and disappoint not only everyone supporting the comic... but mostly myself. I wanted to get the story out there in a state I was proud of. No matter what.

So... what did I do?

I scaled down the ambition. I threw my ego to the side, looked at the project with a more practical lens and then came the decision to end the comic here. Think of this comic as a sort of glorified opener/ introduction for the story that ties a neat bow on the premise. The hook. The narrative this whole au sort of exists around.

I see this as the best place to end off the comic in a way that was most satisfying for me, in a way that didn't sacrifice quality.

With this comic, I reached to the end of Chapter 4, about 15% of the full story. Since starting to translate the story into a fanfic seven months ago, I have approximately 40% of the story written out. So it's safe to say, even in the worst case scenario, I should be able to finish the story before university next year.

Even though the official comic is coming to a close, there is still the Ao3 fic I'm doing my best to upload consistently on. And, if I have the time/energy to do so, I'll made tidbit comics of certain scenes or moments in the au. Small scale stuff like that.

So... yeah. Thank you for reading. If you liked the comic, go read the Ao3 fic for chapter 5, 6, and the updates to come in the future.

[thestrangestthing89]

Will manifesting Eddie, Billy, and El.

There is a lot more to say about El being a manifestation compared to Eddie and Billy. She got the most screen time of the three. Brenner's attitude towards El: We see that Brenner favors El above all the other kids in the lab, to the point where they are jealous of El. But we aren't given a reason why. In fact, we are told a lot of reasons why she isn't special - she isn't the most powerful or the most skilled, she is the weakest. He doesn't coddle her either and is instead cruel pretty much every time she can't do something to his liking. She disappoints him, yet he seems to have high hopes for what she can do. His behavior is very manipulative and he's kind when he needs her to do something and cruel when she doesn't do it right. He flatters her with "only you can save them" nonsense when we plainly see that she struggles to save them. We know in S1 and S2 it wasn't just her that saved Will, it was the whole group. In S3 and 4 it not only was the whole group, but El fails to save anyone. She does a lot wrong. But she is constantly told she is special and their only hope. It doesn't add up with what we actually see happening. And this manipulation (by both Brenner and Owens) isn't just when she is the only kid in the lab. He acted like this when there were many kids. So he could have relied on them instead of her. We know he didn't tell her the full story about Henry. He admits to cherry-picking memories. I think what we are being shown here is more El's origin story as it relates to Will. These aren't her memories, which is why she doesn't remember them. She doesn't have them. But Will does and I think he's repressing them (or as I said in my post about Billy, he's putting all of the things he doesn't like about himself onto other people). I think Brenner is interested in her because out of all the other kids in the lab, she was created in a different way - by Will. If she ends up being powerful that means he can create more superheroes through Will.

So in going along with my theory about Eddie and Billy, I think El ends up being related to his childhood trauma. The first thing that happened to him that led to everything else. I think this is related to his father given how much Brenner resembles Lonnie and his relationship with Will (at least what we know of it so far). In this case, Will manifests El through the abuse he suffered from Lonnie as a child. We know Lonnie called Will gay slurs and it's been heavily hinted that there is physical abuse and sexual abuse as a part of this (like Brenner and El). We don't know when Lonnie left or what happened here exactly, but I would guess something significant happened when Will was 7 since that was the age El was in those memories in S4. I think El is a reference to parts of Will's psyche he is struggling to accept. Like Eddie is his ego and Billy is his id, El is his superego - the hyper-vigilant, rational side to him. El likes rules and structure. She needs things to be orderly so she can understand them. She punishes the bad guys because she is the good guy. It's a simplistic superhero narrative and one that a child would come up with when they are distressed. He created a superhero to save him, like he created Billy to put his MF trauma on, and Eddie to put his insecurities about being different than everyone else on. That beings said, I think that once these manifestations are created they are real people with their own thoughts and actions. But I think Will can unintentionally manipulate things when he feels strong emotions - ie he gets jealous of all the time Mike and El are spending together so he has El dump his ass and run off with Max.

Will and El's relationship: For 2 people whose stories are so closely tied together, they have very few interactions. El is very determined to save him though, even though she doesn't know him. And there is still that unanswered question from S1 - El recognized Will's picture but we don't know how. I think this goes back to when Will originally manifested her. I think she remembers a little bit about this but not all of it. She doesn't know enough to know that Brenner's memories about Henry are fakes. Throughout the entirety of S1, El is mistaken for Will. They are interchangeable. Hopper thinks he's chasing ghosts. It's interesting to note here that El's limited verbal skills prevent her from explaining herself and her relationship to Will. Much in the same way that El's mother, Terry, can't communicate with words. A similar thing that Will struggles with in S2 when he's possessed. He uses his art because he can't figure out how to describe how he's feeling verbally. I think El, and by extension Terry, are representing how Will is struggling to talk about his trauma, in this case about Lonnie. They don't talk because he isn't ready to talk about this yet. There is so much that could be said about the comparisons between Will and El but here are a few: - There is a moment early on in the season when Mike is in front of the D&D board and you see the little wizard piece meant to represent Will the Wise. The piece is facing off against the 3 headed dragon and is surrounded by what looks like other monsters. The very next scene is El at Benny's facing off against the lab guys and Brenner. She gets surrounded by them and is able to escape. - El being afraid of small spaces is something that doesn't come up again. She doesn't want to be in the closet in Mike's room. This obviously has a lot of subtext for Mike's sexuality. But this scene happens when Jonathan shows up at Lonnie's and checks the trunk of the car for Will, heavily implying Will was put in there by Lonnie at one point. It makes me wonder if we will see Will struggling with this at some point (and Mike comforting him about it). - When El checks in on Will in the void at the end of the season, he's at Castle Byers in the UD. Will isn't surprised to see El. As far as we know, he never saw her before. But this random girl showing up and telling him to hold on a little longer doesn't surprise him. And it's not because he's barely conscious. The next scene with Will he is singing and he is able to sit up and he's alert. So he notices. They both know each other.

- Will and El both die at the same time. Will in the UD, and El sacrifices herself to the demogorgon. At the hospital, Dustin is telling Will that El is "basically a wizard". Will the Wise is a wizard. - At the end of the season, Hopper gets in a car outside the hospital and goes back to the lab. It's implied in S2 that he made a deal to keep things in town quiet for them. But Hopper keeps an awfully close eye on both Will and El all season. It makes me wonder if he was told to keep an eye on El for Will's sake. I think he knows more about what happened with Will then he's letting on. Hopper's relationship with El/Will is very interesting. He's the protector. He goes out of his way to not only keep them both safe but keep them separated. He is the only one of the characters in S2 who knows everything that is going on. He knows the lab is the only place that can figure out what is happening with Will, so he keeps Joyce in Hawkins. He knows El isn't safe from the lab if she leaves the cabin so he keeps her inside. He knows the town isn't safe from the lab so he keeps secrets about the tunnels. He keeps El hidden from everyone even though she seems to know something is going on with Will all season because she was spying. Out of all the characters, I think it's Hopper who already knows everything that is going on with Will and El. There is also the tie in with his daughter. He has flashbacks to Sarah dying the entire time he's looking for Will in S1. There are so many comparisons to be made between Will, El, and Sarah. I have seen people suggest that Sarah is a fake memory like the fake memories of Henry that Brenner showed El in S4. I think this is possible. In that case, I think it's Will who likely has the real father/child relationship with Hopper and not El or Sarah. He's the anti-Lonnie. The father that actually protects him and takes care of him. And I think there is a strong possibility that Hopper has a lot of this figured out already. At least up to the point where he knows Will is manifesting things (likely not about Sarah). I think he wouldn't tell Joyce about something like this because it's tied to his trauma with Lonnie and I think it's been made clear that Joyce doesn't know much about this. So Hopper does what he can to protect people without giving too much away. And he knows the lab is the best place to keep an eye on Will even though he doesn't trust them, because they know about where El comes from. It's a good way to keep an eye on everything and everyone.

In S2 there are a couple things to note: - El gets "rebirthed" through a tigers paw painted on the wall of the school. Tigers are frequently associated with Will. He brings her back to life when he is struggling with his memories of the UD. - When Mike is being interrogated by the government about El's whereabouts the woman tells him "the stories she told you aren't true". On the surface of course this is meant to get him to not trust El. But nothing is ever as it seems on the surface with this show. This line combined with the many references to El being compared to Will, and Max asking her if she is real are meant to point out the obvious - El isn't real. She is part of Will. What she says isn't true - a theme that continues through S4. El frequently lies. Oftentimes unknowingly/unintentionally. But it's still meant to indicate that what she says shouldn't be taken as truth. S3 is seriously wild. I don't even know where to start with this except that I think it needs it's own post because I think everything in this season is happening in Will's head. Or at the very least, is all being heavily influenced by his strong, uncontrollable teen hormones and angst. S4 is the first time we actually see El and Will interacting regularly. And it's really not much. They spent 6 months living in the same house but they aren't close. El gets bullied in school, which is a thing that usually happens to Will. But here she takes up the role of protector again and keeps him safe from the bullies. They don't even notice him because she is there. She's like a shield. I think El's separate storyline in S4 is partly due to Will getting more confident and partly him freeing her from this need to save him. He is becoming stronger on his own now. I don't think it's a coincidence that we see El have the same hair as Will and wear his clothes at this time. She also spends this season finding out info on their past at the lab. I think they are morphing into one person. Will is getting stronger and is more ready to take on his past in a way that he wasn't before. But he is still using El to confront these things. I think Will becoming more confident and confronting his past will coincide with him becoming more powerful and El becoming less centered in saving him (and everyone else). Like Billy and Eddie, I think El will eventually be killed off (like S1) or become a part of him in some way. I am reminded of what Henry said to baby El after he killed all the kids in the lab - all of those people he killed became a part of him and he could still hear them in his head. So I think in this way, El, Billy, and Eddie, still exist as they are a part of Will. But I don't think it's a coincidence that El doesn't seem to be in the next season much. Will doesn't need her to save him anymore.

[violettduchess]

Heya Violet! I'm going to request an ikevamp fic for the first time, so how about either of the Day 4 prompts for Leonardo? I'm excited to see what you come up with 👍

A/N: Hi @scorchieart 💜 Thank you for your request! This is for the Different Universe Same Love CCC hosted by @xxsycamore and @queengiuliettafirstlady

This combines scorchie's request with an anon request for Soulmates AU with Leonardo 💜

Leonardo x f reader

WC: 5254

"There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent Van Gogh 

“I hate this,” you grumble as you check your phone for the hundredth time. Where the hell is this place? It feels like it's been hours of California coastline rolling past your window. Beautiful, yes. But also so inconvenient. You lean forward towards the front of the town car.

“Abel, how much longer?”

Your driver glances at you in the rear-view mirror, smiling good-naturedly. 

“Another 15 minutes, chérie.”

You flop back into the cushioned leather, sighing. If you had known this would be a part of it, you would not have taken the role. 

Maybe. 

Ok, fine. You probably would have taken it anyway. 

The story of a woman who breaks all tradition to become a famous 19th century painter? You can practically hear Theo’s words in your ear all over again: “You want to be stuck in rom-coms forever or do you want to be taken seriously? Make art that matters?” The Dutchman is a tough agent, too direct for most actors’ fragile egos to handle but that’s why you like him. He is always honest with you.

Outside the town car window, the ocean continues to roll by, a blur of slate-gray and white. Picking up your phone for the hundredth time, you type in the name of the artist you’re on your way to see. 

Just like every time you’ve done it before, all you get is his Instagram page which is entirely too sparse and full of only half-finished paintings, close ups of brushes, a few small, charcoal sketches. Nothing about the man himself. 

You swipe Instagram away and tap on Spotify, closing your eyes and allowing a podcast about the Golden Age of Hollywood to help pass the remaining time.

“Love the vibe,” you murmur as you step out of the Mercedes, pushing up your tortoise-shell sunglasses in order to better take in the picturesque brown and white wooden house. It really does seem like something out of a Kinkade painting. It's perched on the edge of a plateau, facing a slope of green hillside that disappears into a smattering of gray rock. The rocks give way to a stretch of dark brown sand which leads you right to the blue-gray beauty of the Pacific Ocean. It's here the warm vibes end though. This beach is nothing like the sandy beaches of Southern California. This is something wilder, something sharper. There is no manicured, processed beach feeling here. This is nature allowing you into her world, the crashing of the waves onto the shore not an invitation but a reminder. You’re here with her permission.

Abel comes around, carrying your luggage and pauses, taking in the house. “It’s lovely,” he murmurs. 

You shoot him a Look. “It’s miles from just about anything. I hope Vlad knows what he’s doing.”

Vlad is the director of the film you are going to star in. The one who said you needed to spend some time with a real-life artist in order to understand the lifestyle, the thought process, the way of viewing the world. And he knew just the person. A friend of a friend, an artist of some small renown, who made money on the side by working as a consultant for various productions. He had invited you to stay with him for a few days, to teach you basic painting and drawing techniques so it would look realistic on film, and to answer any questions you had. Vlad vouched for him, claiming he was a good man, one he would trust his star with. 

You turn to Abel. “Only leave if I give you the sign.”

He smiles indulgently, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You’ll be fine. But I will wait until I see it.”

Steeling yourself, you gather your bags and make your way down the short driveway and up the dark wooden steps. There’s no doorbell so you knock loudly.

You aren’t sure what you expected. A man named Leonardo made you think he would be older with flowing white locks and a long wizard-like beard. What you did not expect was the door to be opened by a golden-eyed Adonis with ombre hair and one of the friendliest, most open smiles you’ve ever seen. 

“Benvenuta, cara mia. Welcome.”

That voice. Your heart is doing tiny backflips inside your chest as a horde of butterflies excitedly flutter their wings inside your stomach. It takes you a moment before you figure out the way words work again.

“Thank you.”

Behind your back, you wiggle two fingers at Abel furiously. 

The driver covers his grin with the back of his hand, nodding once to Leonardo in greeting before sliding back into the vehicle. He watches through the car window as Leo takes your bags and you follow him inside, the white wooden door closing behind you.

“Good luck, chérie,” he chuckles softly. Somehow, he is certain you will be just fine.

You are utterly charmed. The main house is small, and the guest house just behind it even smaller, but they are both unique, beautiful in their own ways. Everything is simple, clean. Wide windows keep the ocean in view at all times. In every room there is something to look at. A miniature painting of sunset over the water on the living room table. An antique nautical map hanging on the wall of the dining room. An oversized forest green couch that looks like it's just waiting for you to snuggle into it.

Leonardo has just brought your bags to the guest house, a one room structure with a brass bed, rustic homemade dresser, a small desk and a tiny en-suite bathroom.

“I know you are probably used to more luxurious accommodations.”

“No, this is lovely. Really.” You glance down at your phone, considering whether to post a picture to your socials and hear him laugh softly at the expression on your face. The sound settles itself into your bones, warm and welcoming.

“Reception is a bit shoddy out here. You have the best chance when you go to the living room.”

Tucking your phone into the back pocket of your jeans, you flash him a smile. “Thanks for the tip.”

He holds your gaze a moment and you feel like sand, being pulled towards an irresistible ocean. 

“You must be starving. Let’s eat before I show you my studio.”

With a pleasantly full stomach and a glass of red wine in hand, you step inside the studio and gasp. Gone are the clean lines, the simplistic beauty of the rest of the house. Here is a world of color and chaos, paint and pandemonium, art and anarchy. Canvases are everywhere, paint pots and brushes, charcoal and sketchbooks. And while it may look like mayhem, there is a truth about it that stirs something inside you. This is the man behind the easy-going smile. This is his heart and soul made tangible, made material. 

He notices the way you’re looking around, sees the look in your bright eyes and he knows that you see it, the love he has for his craft. You're not some Hollywood actress looking down her nose at a mess. You're one artist taking in another artist’s medium and appreciating it. His heart unexpectedly shifts, sliding closer to some unseen edge. 

“This is…incredible.” You walk slowly through the space, stopping in front of whatever catches your eye. A half-finished sketch of a whale breaching the surface of the water. An anatomically correct drawing of the underside of a starfish. A canvas of yellows and oranges and reds, a practice in blending.

“How come I’ve never seen you post a finished painting on your social media?” You stop when you come to a whole row of them, leaning casually against the back wall of his studio. Crouching down, you inspect a painting of a man from behind, his arms spread out wide towards a turbulent, white-capped ocean, daring it maybe. Or welcoming it.

He shrugs, running his hand through his hair, a tick you’ll come to recognize as something he does when he is uncomfortable.

“I sell a few here and there. Not enough to earn a living but that’s what jobs like this are for, yeah?”

You rise slowly back to full height, taking a sip of the rich wine.

“Have you ever showcased your work?”

He scoffs as he lifts a paint-stained rag from one corner of his supply table and toys with it before tossing it right back.

“To what end? I paint for me. That is enough.”

That sounds like someone who is too scared to try. But you keep the words locked in your mind, aware enough to know that might be reaching a bit too deeply into his psyche for comfort.

“So….when do we begin?”

He smiles slowly and it burns through your body, warming you more than the alcohol.

“Tomorrow. Sunrise.”

All those hours you could still be sleeping. Instead of being warm and snug in your very cozy guesthouse, you are shivering on a beach, sitting on a blanket next to Leonardo as he flips open the sketchbook in front of you. He’s in an oversized brown knit sweater and jeans, looking like a model for some outdoor clothing company whereas you, trying to pull your fitted sweater down over your exposed lower back, look like some Hollywood wanna-be who wasn’t prepared for the cold California morning.

He places several small gray pebbles in front of you on the blanket.

“Sketch these.”

You tilt your head. “They’re rocks.”

“There is challenge in even the simplest of forms. Please try.”

You’re skeptical as you yank down once more on your sweater, sitting cross-legged and staring down at the pebbles. It can’t be that hard. Picking up the pencil, you begin trying to capture their form. 

It proves to be much harder than it looks. 

Your brow furrows as you look from your sketch, which is doing a fantastic job of being horrible, to the smooth stones in front of you.

“You must relax,” he murmurs as he scoots closer. “You’re gripping that poor pencil like you wish to strangle it.” He reaches over, covering your hand with his. You’re immediately hit with the faint smell of tobacco. Does he smoke? And something else….something earthy and rich and entirely too appealing for this early in the morning. His fingers, graceful and strong, carefully manipulate yours, sliding over your skin and leaving small ripples of heat in their wake. He touches your wrist, over the place where your heart is beating so quickly, tilting it just so. 

He holds you there, moving your hand like a puppeteer might the wooden cross of marionette. You watch as the pebbles slowly come to life, flowing from the tip of your pencil.

“Let go,” his voice, gentle as the morning breeze, deep as the sea, whispers in your ear. “You must let go and allow the pencil to do its job.”

Slowly he removes his hand and the sudden lack of contact spurs a tiny whimper from your throat. Luckily, he mistakes it for dismay at his lack of coaching and chuckles.

“You continue on your own, cara mia.”

You’ve been called many things: The Girl Next Door, America’s Sweetheart but somehow, that nickname rolling so casually off his tongue suddenly means more than any of that. You’re smiling despite the cold, despite the wind, despite your stupid, impractical sweater.

Inhaling, you try again, the pencil less a tool in your hand as an extension of it. And while your pebbles don’t look amazing, they do look much closer to what you are trying to accomplish. 

“Well done,” he says, looking over your shoulder. “You're a quick learner.”

You smile at him, his words washing over you, warm as sunshine.

“Can I try something else? Maybe try the sand and the ocean?”

He nods, reaching for the hem of his sweater. The next thing you know he’s removed it and wrapped it around your shoulders, leaving you surrounded by soft wool that smells like Leonardo. Your heart stumbles.

“Si. Let’s try.”

My life has never been this disconnected from work and yet, so full, you think as you wrap the beige blanket tighter around your body, watching Leonardo paint. You’re sitting outside on the large porch, the breathtaking view of the sand dunes, the boulders, the sand and the endless sea stretched out before you like a slice of paradise.

You’ve been here almost a week and the world has changed. The bright lights of Hollywood seem so far away. Now you’re concerned with daylight and sunrises, the way light falls across an object or a person, how to capture its essence with charcoal and acrylics, watercolor and wax. You haven't even touched your phone other than to reassure Theo you are fine, doing well and learning a lot, soaking in the experience of being an artist so that you can find it again when the cameras are on you. You’ve abandoned your socials, only leaving a message saying something about the life of an actor and secret prep work that you can’t talk about. It’s technically not a lie.

You watch as Leonardo dips his brush into a red that looks far too bright and finds a way to make it exactly the right shade of sunset, adding an element to his painted sky that you didn’t even know was missing until he put it there. He’s relaxed, his body loose, movements like flowing water as he almost lovingly drags the brush along the canvas. He showed you how, a few mornings ago. You’ve been haunted ever since by the feel of his larger body behind you, the way he reached around, gently taking hold of your wrist, and showed you how to hold yourself, teaching your body the dance of a painter. He is patient, always answering any question of yours the best he can. And so intelligent. The other night you curled up on his overstuffed green couch to look through several of his notebooks, filled with sketches and half-finished designs for contraptions that looked more sci-fi than present day. One entire page was devoted entirely to drawing various animal wings. The next was an excruciatingly detailed drawing of his own hand.

He talks about art the way you talk about acting: a way to conduct emotion, to spark a connection between people. You feel like he understands when you explain how acting is a form of devotion to humanity, an expression of love. Most people roll their eyes when an actor begins talking about their craft. His smile tells you all you need to know about how well he truly does understand. 

He shakes you from your reverie when he joins you on the bench, wiping his hands on a towel and reaching for his glass of wine.

“And? What do you think?”

You tilt your head, pretending to study the easel with its beautiful interpretation of the actual sunset that is happening behind it. He has not replicated it exactly, but captured the symphony of colors, the dramatic brass of the oranges and romantic woodwinds of the pinks, the clouds with their warmly colored underbellies and of course, the ever present sea, gilded in gold.

“It’s beautiful, Leo.” 

“You like it, which means I’m pleased.” He takes another sip. “Consider it a gift, yeah?. It is, after all, our last weekend together.”

Those words carve themself into the moment, slicing away the peace you’ve been feeling. Dismay bleeds from your heart. You were going to have to face it, the fact that your time with him, magical as it has been, is coming to an end. But you had hoped, irrationally, that maybe if no one said it, you could just stay here, in this beautiful house with this beautiful man as long as you wanted.

Your face, the tool of your trade that you can usually control so well, betrays your thoughts.

“Cara mia.” He reaches out, his fingers curling inwards for a moment, hesitant. The man who never has a problem touching you when correcting your hand or positioning your arm now needs a moment of courage. Because this isn’t a teaching moment. Maybe none of them ever really were. He only knows that from the second he opened the front door and you were there, with your smile like sunshine and eyes bright with intelligence and excitement, he felt drawn to you like he's never been toward anyone before.

You turn your face into his touch, reaching up to cup your hand over his. You press a kiss into his palm. The lull of the waves is drowned out by the roaring of your heartbeat. And then he leans towards you, taking your face in his beautiful hands, and he kisses you. 

Your heart cracks open and oceans of desire and want and something else, something nameless underneath those wild waves of emotion flood you. He feels so good. This feels so right.

You kiss with the exhilaration of new lovers, wildly and without a care for anything else in the world. The sunset and her majestic colors be damned. There is nothing as beautiful as the wildfire of gold in his eyes, the melody of his breathing. You’re on his lap, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, pressed as closely as you can be and it isn’t enough. He slides his hands under your blouse, pressing the palms of his hands to your bare back. It isn’t enough.

You manage to tear your mouth away from him long enough to get out one word: “Inside.”

He stands up and you wrap your legs around him, his strong arms supporting your weight as he carries you inside the wooden house on the plateau, impatiently stealing every kiss he can before laying you down on the oversized green couch, covering your body with his. He softly growls your name in a way that sends fire cascading through your veins.

The sky outside darkens as the last rays of sunset disappear. Her show is over. You both belong now to the night.

Heart, say good-bye because you are no longer mine. You lay on your side, facing the open window of Leonardo’s bedroom. The ocean breeze, cool with night’s kiss, waves the pale curtains and skims over your skin, raising goosebumps along your bare arm and shoulder. 

You close your eyes, reveling in the heavy feeling of your body, tempest-tossed and satisfied, peppered with the light marks of your lovemaking. You're a goner. You’ve fallen overboard, heading further and further down into the churning depths of your feelings for Leonardo. And you’re not sinking. Not at all. You’re kicking your legs and diving, excited to explore the deep and all its mysteries.

He stirs in his sleep and you roll back to face him, watching as he slowly surfaces from whatever dream he was lost in. His warm eyes, framed by such dark lashes, flutter open. When he sees you, laying on your side, facing him, he smiles slowly and reaches out a hand.

“Come here, cara mia.”

The thought of resisting doesn’t even cross your mind. You slide over into his arms, marveling at the feel of his body against yours, strong muscles, long legs. He presses a kiss to your temple, then nuzzles your neck affectionately.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

You smile, tipping your head up to meet his gaze. Now may not be the right time to tell him everything you’re thinking. You don’t want to scare him away.

“No thoughts. Just....” You slide your hand over his chest, over the lean muscles of his abdomen, and then lower. His golden eyes flare bright with immediate hunger. His lips part as he exhales.

With a groan he pulls you to him and you close your eyes, letting his greedy mouth and wandering hands take you away.

This is only the beginning after all. You have plenty of time to figure out what's next. 

A Year Later

“Now that’s just one review! The rest are all like it!”

You listen to Theo’s exuberant voice as he names all the various publications that are writing rave reviews about the film. Funny, everything you thought you ever wanted is coming true. You made a movie that is earning positive reviews across the board, with your performance hailed as a stand out, a tour de force unlike anything you’ve ever done. There’s already talk about awards and other dramatic parts and are you interested in endorsements?

And yet, you’re miserable.

Leaning back into the plush seat of the town car, you stop Theo’s voice message and tap on Instagram and, like a lemming drawn to a cliff, go to his page.

All comments are turned off and there is only one picture posted: a short message thanking people for their interest but he is on hiatus.

The post is six months old.

How did it all go so wrong? You had been so happy.

Your eyes fall closed and memories play themselves out in front of you, like a flickering movie reel from yesteryear.

You and Leonardo on his porch, cuddled together under a blanket as you watch the sunrise. He can’t stop touching you and you him.

Driving with him back to Southern California, his eyes widening when you pull into the driveway of your home, modest by Hollywood standards, a palace compared to his small wooden dwelling.

Your pool. Cold water. Hot mouths. His hand pressed against your lips, stifling your sounds even as he continues moving.

The paparazzi finding you after a few days of blissful privacy, snapping a shot of you two leaving Starbucks, his hand casually resting on your hip, thumb stroking the stripe of bare skin between your jeans and the hem of your shirt.

Your names splashed across gossip sites and social media. He gains thousands of followers in a matter of hours, people hoping he’ll post an image of the two of you together. An older picture of him from several years ago at an art gallery opening in SoHo is all they have and it is everywhere. And it is not enough. They want more.

They follow you home. They follow you to work. They follow you when you go out to eat. They follow you to appointments, to meetings, across town and back. They yell your name, they ask about him. They are relentless.

And then they start to follow him. To your home. To the restaurant where you’re meeting. To his home. They wait by the wooden house on the plateau, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and him. They yell your name, they ask about rumors, they demand to know when the wedding is.

They swarm you both like locusts blocking out the sun, sucking up all your air.

And then his paintings begin to sell. Never has there been such a demand. He can’t keep up. And he isn’t happy.

Because he says he did nothing to deserve it aside from being with you. No one cared before. He has not earned this success. It’s the side-effect of loving you. Side-effect, you repeat one night, staring at him across your marble kitchen island, that makes it sound like loving me is some kind of disease.

He cures himself by leaving. You wake up one morning and all his things are gone. He is a ghost who has vanished back into the nether of sea-spray and morning fog from whence he came.

All he leaves you with is a note, the paper torn from one of his notepads, in his messy, slanted writing: “I’m sorry.”

A note, and all the splinters of your broken heart.

And now you’re almost at your destination. The tiny bed-and-breakfast tucked away in a remote corner of the California coast. Your refuge from the rest of the world. The place you come to heal.

You’ve been here a few times since he left. The owners, Wolf and Jean, are like family. They took care of you before you became successful, when you were a starving artist looking for your big break, and have continued to do so even now, when you could easily stay at any five-star hotel across the globe but always come back here, to warmth and comfort.

The first time you came here after he left, they filled your room with macaroons, your favorite dessert. They must have heard the news from some entertainment program or maybe some celebrity news ticker. You could have killed the Starbucks barista who spoke to the press, saying how you suddenly were coming alone to pick up your coffee and how pale you were, your eyes red from crying.

Another time they subtly laid a newspaper on your bed. At first you weren’t sure why but then you saw the tiny article about Leonardo having a small but successful showing in Denmark, worlds away from the bright lights of Hollywood. Like a 1950’s schoolgirl, you had cut out the small black and white picture of him and folded it, hiding it in your wallet. Doing so felt both pathetic and comforting at the same time.

Another winding road, dipping between tree and rocky coast and then one final turn. The familiar blue and white building comes into sight and you can feel yourself breathing easier already.  The car slows to a stop and a moment later, Abel opens the door for you.

“We’re here, chérie.” His champagne-colored eyes have a twinkle to them which leaves you wondering if he knows something you don't.

Forever ago, this place used to scare you with its pointed roof and close proximity to the edge of a very steep cliff. But it’s become your home away from home and you’re soothed by the sight of it.

“I’ll just get my—” Your weekend bag is already on the ground next to you and the town car is halfway down the drive. You frown slightly before hoisting up your bag. Well, he was sure in a hurry.

You bound up the familiar steps, opening the friendly blue door and step into the foyer.

“Jean? Wolf?”

Odd, they would normally be here to meet you, food and drink in hand.

You glance around, taking out your phone to make sure that you had sent them the correct date and time when you spot something hanging on the wall. Your fingers go numb and your phone falls, landing with a harmless thud on the thick carpeting.

Hanging on the wall is a new painting. It’s a woman, sitting on a beach at sunrise, wrapped up in an oversized, cozy brown sweater. Her head is tipped back, eyes closed, a serene expression on her face. It’s soft and romantic. Not a brushstroke wasted nor a color excessive. 

The sea is a deep gray-blue. 

The sky is a garden of pinks and lavenders and orange. 

The woman is you.

You open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out. 

How....

“Cara mia.”

Like an apparition he is suddenly standing there, in the doorway. Not some memory or picture or dream, but Leonardo, flesh and blood, right there in the same room as you. The sight of him hits you like the full force of a typhoon, draining all the color from your face and sending you back a step.

As you recover from your shock, you notice now how nervous he is. His hands, normally so strong and steady, whether creating art or touching you, are shaking. He has dark circles under his golden eyes, shadows of what has been haunting him.

“Leonardo.” His name is twisted upon itself, hollow and aching when it passes your lips. 

“May I speak? I have something to say to you. Please."

You nod, your breath held prisoner in your lungs, your wounded heart limps in circles in your chest, aching at the sight of him.

He draws a deep breath.

“I was a fool. I pushed you away because I was afraid. Your world is so much bigger than mine and instead of joining you, proud to be by your side, learning how to navigate new waters, I ran.” He pushes a hand through his hair, an inhale needed to steady his nerves. “That was wrong. I hurt you. I’m so sorry, cara mia. So deeply sorry for how stupid I was. I…I regretted it immediately but it was too late...Dio, sono un idiota.” 

He shakes his head, defeated. The failure of words in the face of what he did is stark and he finds himself unable to go on. Nothing can begin to explain the festering regret he's lived with from the moment he walked out your door. He isn't good enough with words to explain how the minute he was heading away from you all he wanted to do was to turn back. How without you the world was drained of its vivacity, its color. He trapped himself in a gray existence of his own making and now his escape lies solely in your hands.

You breathe in and out, taking a moment before you respond.

"You did hurt me. Badly. But…." You take a second, searching for the right words. "I could have helped prepare you for what it means to be with someone like me. It was so much to ask of you to just be ok with your life suddenly being turned upside down. For that, I'm sorry."

Silence grows between you, thick as brambles and just as thorny.  Neither of you can meet the other's gaze. It hurts, every second that ticks by without a word. Neither of you knows what to say, neither wants to leave. It is Leonardo who finally clears his throat, a throat where so many words are bottlenecking in their fury to get out.

"I'll leave you in peace then." 

The words are clipped, his accent thick as emotion chokes him. The final, tenuous connection between you is close to crumbling. He's about to turn away when one word shoots straight from your heart like a rocket.

"Wait!!"

He freezes, his sunrise gaze locking with yours. Dare he have hope…..

The minute you start towards him he rushes to meet you.

And then you're in his arms and your cheeks are wet and he's holding you so tightly your ribs feel crushed but it doesn't matter because he's turning and turning, the world is spinning, your heart is rising light as a feather, and then your feet touch the ground again and he's showering your face with kisses, painting you in his love, holding the back of your head, whispering your name breathlessly over and over and over, a song, a declaration, a prayer.

You hold on to his neck, your laughter as bright as sunlight across the waves, returning his kisses with ones of your own, all over his beautiful face, kisses pulsing with hope, with desire, with promise.

He leans back, lowering his mouth to your ear and whispers. His words engrave themselves onto your heart and you pull away to answer him the only way you can answer something like that: with a kiss deep as the sea, tender as the night.

You've found each other again. And you'll never again be parted.

(What did he whisper? This fic is acrostic so check out the first bold word of every section) 💜

Tagging: @aquagirl1978 @alixennial @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @rhodolitesrose @ikemen-writer @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @redheadkittys @dear-mrs-otome @firestar-otomeobsessed @curious-skybunny @kpop-and-otome @writingwhimsey @mxrmaid-poet @silver-dahlia @wendolrea @otomefoxystar @tele86 @nightfoxqueen @myonlyjknight

[victoria-rue]

victoria-rue's Recommendation Masterlist part 3

Okay, so, this is my third masterlist. And each masterlist has about 50 stories, so 100+ stories in total. All I'm saying is I might have a problem, but these authors deserve recognition for their amazing works of art. They deserve to be spread out to more people, even if there's only a small amount people that see this. These authors deserve the world ♥︎

Recommendation Masterlist part 1, part 2, part 3, & part 4

Marvel

Miles Morales

❝ white lies ❞ by @berriweb

LINK UP by @qkopi

you loved your boyfriend miles, you really do. he was everything you could ask for; he was handsome, gentle, and very caring towards you like a good boyfriend should be… but there’s also times where he would cancel dates out of nowhere and that would leave you to be disappointed and go home bored. miles then tried to make it up to you by planning to hangout at his place this today, but things go sideways when his twin brother decides to take things into his own hands..

Bereavement by @famwhy

Miles is missing, and all you can think about is getting him back. Upon finally finding him, however, you're taken aback by the copy that stands beside him—the same copy that was staring at you with wide, shaking eyes full of... disbelief?

Peter Parker

Part Of Your World by @waitimcomingtoo

Peter meets a girl who dreams of being where the people are

hoax by @waitimcomingtoo

when Peter strikes out with you but discovers you’re a fan of his alter ego, he gets you tangled in his web of lies

Miguel O'Hara

Across the Street by @quaintii

It's been a couple weeks since a new family moved in, across the street. You go pay them a visit with an offer.

The game of cat and spider by @lucywrites02

You are a criminal and he's a hero. You don't know each other's names, never seen the person behind the mask. You aren't enemies- you are supposed to be but that didn't work out quite well. You liked each other a bit too much,  but your relationship was strictly…. Professional? What happens if you meet as normal people, with no masks and responsibilities in your way? What did the universe plan for you? And most importantly…. Will it last?

Daddy Issues by @drefear

Halo by @missdictatorme

You are an AI designed by Miguel. He gave you a unique voice, one he knew he would like listening to. He didn't really gave much thought to how you looked like when he made you a hologram form, he just choose a random picture of a woman from the internet. What happens when you ask for permission to design your own look?

Web of Secrets by @liliacamethyst

Bittersweet Devotion by @diejager

IGOR by @papuhater

Bucky Barnes

i never thought you’d happen to me by @nickfowlerrr

Wade Wilson

Here’s To Us by @baka-bakeneko

Wade's street neighbor needs to use Wade's hot water.

Marc Spector + Steven Grant + Jake Lockley

Already over. by @m00nsbaby

With You by @ivystoryweaver

Eddie Brock/Venom

RUSH HOUR by @ghostheartfelt

you meet eddie during morning rush hour, vv understanding man who admires your connection with your customers and dedication towards your job. eddie's hungry for chocolate (n you), you pique interest in the host and his symbiote.

Miles Morales, Miguel O'Hara, Hobie Brown, Peter Parker (Spider-Noir)

THIS IS A LIFE by @mo0nfairy

in every universe, spiderman will inevitably lose the one thing that matters most to him: y/n l/n. miguel o'hara, peter parker, and hobie brown have all suffered through this story. they soon discover another version of you is alive, bound to fall in love with miles morales and to die abruptly. with the prospect of a second chance and a newfound obsession, these four men will do anything to keep you at their side.

Detroit become human

Connor RK800

Criminal Analysis by @gogogodzilla

You never pictured this life for yourself. Never pictured that android cases would start piling up and you'd be assigned to figure out why they were deviating. You were a forensic psychologist hired by the Detroit Police Department as a consultant. You usually dealt with figuring out what made suspects tick and why they did what they did. You figured it'd be the same thing, as usual, that is until a certain android walked into your crime scene and completely turned your life upside down.

Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Finnick Odair book series by @mrsnancywheeler

midnight rain (Book One)

finnick had pulled the plug on your relationship long ago, when he could no longer keep from you what he'd been forced into. but after you've returned victorious from your games, he knows you need him as the nightmares come for you each time you close your eyes.

the lakes (Book Two)

it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

the river (Book Three)

the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back

Avatar

Jake Sully

A Child of the Stars by @berry-blue03

you are Jake Sully's six year old daughter, who goes with him to Pandora. Takes place during the first Avatar movie

ꜰᴀʟꜱᴇ ɢᴏᴅ by @teyamsatan

Being one of two human kids left behind after the war, Jake has never seen you as anymore than a little stray cat, always hanging around his village and his kids. All will change one day when the two of you are stranded together, and he gets to discover there's more to you than he ever thought - enough to risk everything he's built for himself in the last 24 years of his life.

Tsu'tey te Rongloa Ateyo'itan

Do you hate me? by @byunpum

You are the eldest Sully daughter, you are adopted. All your life you have grown up watching tsu'tey, and your feelings for him have grown. Everything changes when one day you go hunting with your crush.

Miles Quaritch

Sweet like cherry by @pandoraslxna

Miles has a secret admirer and apparently, she has a thing for photography.

Damsel, let me de-stress you… by @quaritchsluts

Y/N te Suli Neytiri’ite is captured and imprisoned by Colonel Miles Quaritch and his squad, alongside her childhood friend - Spider - when attempting to aid her younger siblings whom were cornered by the recom team when exploring the woods. As Jake Sully’s eldest child, she knows it won’t be long until her father bites back at the recombinants, as does Miles. Because, how dare he take his precious daughter? His firstborn? So, with the odds against him — as well as the clock — and not to mention the displeased dad on his tail, Miles knows he must do whatever it takes to get all the information out of her that he can. Whatever it takes.

Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan

Ghost girl by @byunpum

After their village was destroyed by humans, Y/N must seek refuge in the forest. Her being rescued by a peculiar family, she discovering that her gift had led her to them.

i remember her hands. and the way the mountains looked. by @vampsywrites

In which the Sullys approach the mountain clan for sanctuary. The Olo'eykte agrees but proposes one condition: Toruk Makto's eldest son must be promised to her daughter. Surprisingly, instead of the solemn response one would expect, Neteyam agrees almost instantaneously.

Jealousy by @eyweveng

You have a secret relationship with Neteyam but find out terrible news from your bestfriend.

~To You He Feels Like Home~ by @ghoul-bonez

You were born to the forest, wild by nature, wild by nurture, and surely wild in spirit. Your animal family had always warned you about strangers, the odd people who looked like you, but when one approaches you, you can’t help but be curious. When your curiosity wears off and you deem him weird enough you’re convinced you’ll never see him again, but Eywa has other plans.

Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan

twin flames by @strangerdangerwrites

Eywa has bonded the Son of the Forest and Daughter of Ember over the pain and grief towards the Sky People.

Ao’nung

Fated Mates by @anemonelovesfiction

-stars- by @adhdduckie

When Y/N, and the sullys first reach the reef, a boy catches her eye, and she does her best to catch his attention. She doesn't believe he likes her back, and she thinks it's ridiculous that she's so whipped for this boy. He seems to have no interest in her.

Ronal & Tonowari

Connection by @blue-sadie

Traveling with the sullys to the Metkayina village and tonowari and ronal falling in love with you at first sight and feeling a connection to you.

Neteyam & Lo'ak

Do It If You Dare by @aonungswifeyy

Picture her being quaritch’s daughter, who tries to kill lo’ak but she gets captured by neteyam and by the end of it all, quaritch finds out she now belongs to both lo’ak and neteyam

Reunion by @yourstrulybluelover

The Sullys have been away for years. They have just returned to the Forrest, not only bringing with them joy and hope but also uprooting masked feelings.

"The Love Shack" by @vivid-ink

You’d heard the whispered speculations and stifled giggles during the daytimes. You’d seen the furtive glances that the other women cast at Neteyam and Lo’ak through coquettish eyes, cheeks stained a blushing mauve as they exchanged coy smiles with the two brothers. And during the nights? Hell, you’d heard the moans and wanton cries for yourself… You were definitely curious, but did you have it in you to go through with their proposition?…

Actors

Jamie Flatters

ALL THINGS CONNECTED by @yawneneteyam

growing up on set together, y/n and jamie share their love for one another through the only way they know.. filmmaking

Time Wasters

Ralph Penbury

Worth It by @wheels-of-despair

Your mother forces you to go to a Valentine's Day dance with a dull date, but Ralph manages to make your night worthwhile.

Scream

Ethan Landry

Perverted by @demontonic

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 by @n-slayaaaaa

Seeing the Core Four years after an explosive argument ended your friendship brought about plenty of unwelcome emotions—can you let the past go or has your plan for healing old wounds gone too far?

obsessed by @messylustt

getting a call from ghostface is never good. especially when you find out who lives under the mask—the dorky boy who you drunkenly kissed one night.

a father’s malice by @shadesslut

After the Ghostface attacks, Y/N tried her best to move on from Ethan with raising their son, but things get harder after Ethan gets out of jail.

Billy & Stu

Of Friends and Horror by @grimoireofhayley

You have been best friends with Billy Loomis since you both were in diapers, however, when high school hit, Billy's mom had filed for divorce and had left his father. His dad was miserable even in marriage, hence his continuous affairs with Maureen Prescott. Though, after the divorce and his mother leaving, Billy has been different since; He started dating Sidney Prescott, the late Mrs. Prescott's daughter. He never showed an interest in her until now… But why?

The Last Airbender

Zuko

rotations by @reinerispretty

written during the prime of the atla rennaissance (summer 2020), (y/n) is a child of the fire nation aristocracy and a close friend to prince zuko. as circumstances drive the two apart, she finds them thrown back together. this time on opposite sides of a war.

Daughter of the Spirits by @jettingtothemoon

In which y/n comes across the fire nation prince during her stay in Ba Sing Se.

Last of Us

Joel Miller

Against All Odds by @and-claudia

Look For the Light by @cowgurrrl

When you left Boston with Joel Miller and a little girl named Ellie, you never thought it would land you in Jackson, Wyoming with a tiny family.

sun bleached flies by @sempersirens

stumbling upon the settlement of jackson whilst 4 months pregnant had almost felt too good to be true. for the past seven years, you had been able to raise your daughter, mia, surrounded by a safe and supportive community. however, your small slice of paradise came tumbling down the day joel miller arrived. despite only crossing paths for a fleeting encounter all those years ago, you would never forget the face of your daughter's father.

Strawberries and Cigarettes by @hischeapcigar

you're falling in love with the person your dad hates the most

Miraculous Ladybug

Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir

New Bug in Town by @lilian-writes-sins

With Marinette AKA Ladybug gone, Chat Noir has to hold down the fort and protect the city of Paris from Hawkmoth, while waiting for Master Fu to choose the next Ladybug miraculous holder. The city is in disarray for months, with no sign of Ladybug returning, people are starting to lose hope. Until one day, when some passersby see a red and black figure jumping on the rooftops.