#fukcing ugly crying at this

[piepiepiemag]

DO YOU GUYS THINK HIS COCK ALSO HAS

M

I

D

A

S

TATTOOED ON IT LIKE???? 😭😭😭😭

[sugar-plum-writer]

You Are Ravishing

Theme: Comfort Fic [Body insecurity]; One-Shot Paring: Sukuna x Fem!Reader; established relationship; Fluff; Slight NSFW A/n: A comfort fic of Sukuna comforting fukcing you to show you how beautiful you truly are

"You are divine darling"

[To everyone going through these problems- you are not alone, you are a beautiful person, okay? It is hard when the past habits suddenly come back to haunt you; when you look in the mirror and suddenly you feel like you are the ugliest person on Earth. It is hard, just know- as long as you are healthy nothing else matters. You just be the best version of you <3]

SUKUNA

He was annoyed, well he was annoyed by the littlest things, but today he was even more annoyed the more he looked at you. Jaw clenched tight; arms crossed as he looked at you laughing.

Your laughs were music to his ears, but your laughs right now were fake which he despised

He was never the type to hide his feelings and seeing the one he loved so much hide her feelings from him, annoyed him to his core.

“Y/n what is wrong?”, sharply he looked at you with an annoyed expression

“Wh-What do you mean what is wrong?”, you laughed, “Nothing is wrong Sukuna”

“Fake”

“Fake? What do you mean?”, shocked your eyes widened

“Your laugh right now, again it was fake”, pulling you by the wrists- eyes locked on yours

“I can see it” Pinning you against the wall he leaned in

“Do I look like a fool to you?”

“No-No never!? I said everything is fine!”

“Y/n.”, with a sharp voice his grip on you tightened- nails digging into your wrists

“Either you tell me what is wrong-”

“Or”

“I will make you tell me what is wrong”

His gaze was unwavering- as if he could look through all the lies you gave, cutting them all down with ease, why was he like this? How was he so easily able to cut through all your lies and dig his hands into your heart and soul? Read you so well- It was shocking

He knew you better than you did yourself

“I-“, biting your lips you looked into his eyes full of tears

“You-you are so mean!”, all the tears spilled that you had so desperately tried to control- tried so hard to maintain this facade- all crumbled down breaking you

“Y/n” Confused he loosened his grasp- wiping the tears away instantly

“Why are you crying?”

“I-“, sobbing through your tears you spoke

“I hate myself; I hate myself so much, I hate everything about me”

“What- how did you even reach such a conclusion pet?”, bringing you close he just hugged you; you were so fragile right now- as if just one touch could shatter you into pieces

“Who said this to you? I will kill them”

“Wh-no”, gasping you looked at him

“I am serious, anything that annoys you- annoys me, and whatever annoys me dies, darling”

“Who is it?”

His eyes were devoid of mercy, he did not care who died, all he cared about was your happiness and his happiness. Caressing your hair he smirked- it was a chilling one, you knew he was not joking- if you actually asked him to kill someone, he would really kill them.

Hell, he would even kill their relatives as a bonus just for you.

It was terrifying the amount of power he had. But what was even scarier even for him, though he would not admit it- was the amount of power you had over him.

A single tear from your eyes- and whoever made those tears fall would drop dead

Mercilessly

“No-No one needs to die…the past is the past…” Signing you hugged him back burying your face in his chest

“I just- I cannot love myself- I feel so ugly”, you whispered

“My face, my body- I am so ugly, I cannot even look at myself-”, clenching his robes tightly, your voice cracked as more tears fell

“Without wanting to rip myself to shreds”

“Ugly? Where?” lifting your chin, he kissed you

“You are ravishing y/n”, biting your lips he kissed you even deeper, caressing your waist- and squeezing your hips

“And the only thing that is ugly in my eyes-” Smirking with a snap of his fingers your clothes were in tatters

“Is that fabric covering that body of yours”, taking of his robes he towered over you

"Clothes are worthless, just be naked for me", kiss lips hooked to yours again- kissing your tears away

“Darling you are beautiful, ravishing- let me show you how ravishing you truly are and remove those worthless doubts”

Link to Masterlist!

[a-pirate]

I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

[pasdecoeur]

favourite song and/or lyric from folklore?

I'm not your problem anymore//So who am I offending now? from exile ft. bon iver fully had me CRYING, just ugly sobbing into my pillow, it got me right where i LIVE. for reasons i’m not ready to go into right now, so like. that. 

although my personal thesis on taylor swift is like blah blah she personally believes in her own inherent goodness, we’re all the heroes of our own little cowboy stories etc etc so she’s fundamentally incapable of examining her own flaws, she genuinely believes her actions are externally motivated, yadda yadda point of which being, she sometimes sings such. SUCH undeniably disney-cartoon villainish things with ZERO self-awareness. it’s fucking delightful??? when daenerys!taylor comes out to play, she is her fullest, bougie-est, most objectively enjoyable self, and i love that, and that’s why her best song on folklore is IN FACT, the last great american dynasty. when she sang “i had a marvelous time, ruining everything!” i went fukcing YONKERS i was SCREAMING, i loVED IT

[ongfreestyle]

Coffee and College

A Jaehyun college coffee bullet au that ZERO people asked for

So anyway, you're in your second year of college and you're in the groove of things (kinda) and all is well

You're on your way to your 9am French I class on the first day and you feel your phone vibrating

It's your bf and you smile thinking "aaww it's our 3yr anniversary n he's calling already to say good morning"

More like... goodbye

Yep. 8:45am he calls you to dump you in the driest most uncool way

"listen. I just ... I know this is random, but....I don't wanna do this anymore."

"oh. Uh. What? Sorry I didn't hear you?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore I want to break up with you. I'm sorry."

"oh. Ok. Fine. Sure. Umm...if you wanna talk about it later. Then...yeah..I have French class now bye."

End of call and start of class

Yep you're third row from the back and you plan to pay attention to the syllabus talk and following lesson but

You're definitely tearing up

Like literally WHO DOES THAT?? Just dumps you at 8am no explanation??

So anyways there are teardrops on your notes now and ink isn't tear proof so...rip

Anyways thirty minutes in and your head in kinda just down and you're kinda just crying quietly

And then this kid slides into the seat next to you

He's v late

And v cute even through the tears

And he's smiling really big even though the teacher just scolded him

He sets his coffee down and looks at you wiping snot and tears away and he hands you a napkin from his bag

You take it and mutter a "thanks"

And a moment later he slides his coffee to you too

"I didn't drink it yet"

"it's an espresso, extra caffeine"

"I made it myself"

And he's back to taking notes

And you're still kinda pouting, but it's been 45+ mins so you try to at least write down the homework assignment

And you decide to sip the stupid espresso it's actually pretty good

The next day you find yourself at the school cafeteria and guess who it is??

Espresso boy!!

And it turns out that he's even cuter in uniform!

You go to order some food and he greets you with a big smile

"feeling better today?"

"kinda"

"rough day yesterday, huh?"

"yeah. Can I have a breakfast burrito?"

"no coffee?"

"no, but thanks for the free coffee yesterday. It helped. I owe you one"

"no you don't, it's on the house. And so the one I'm about to make you next. It's today's special!"

Who are you to deny another free coffee? So you take his offer and a few minutes later you're at your table eating your breakfast and doing your French homework

And the special coffee is really good

Then one of your friends comes by and is giving you a weird look

"are you drinking the nasty coffee from the cafeteria??"

"yep. Its actually really good"

And your friend's like ??? "It's usually bitter and gross tho ?? Like 10 times outta 10"

And you shrug and get back to work and your friend grabs some food and starts doing their work too

The day goes on and finally you get some time to yourself to think about yesterday

Your ex hasn't called or texted. Nothing. And it just hits you like wow. I'm. Single.

Cool.

Except not cool because you got no closure or explanation and ouch.

So you hate it but just like yesterday, you're crying again. Just. Uglier crying.

And your roommate comes back and is like "awww sweetie, fuck him"

And she says if you wipe your face she'll take you out for ice cream

So fuck the snot and tears, you want some damn ice cream

And out you go!!

Free ice cream you two stop at a park on campus and there's a basket game going on

And your roommate is like SKSSKDJS "LOOK IT'S JOHNNY SKSJDJ"

English??

"that means holy shit it's the hottest tallest nicest guy in school and he's playing basketball look at his ARMS BITCH"

So guess who's watching a pickup game of bball while eating ice cream?

You two!

Oh and guess who else is playing and is red and sweaty and had a nice jump shot?

Coffee boy.

Yup and you might not be interested in the Score, but dammit the view was nice

The game ends and Johnny is the first to come over to the side lines n greet your roommate

She's batting her eyelashes and telling him he did amazing even tho they lost

And he's smiling and chugging water as he goes on talking and coffee boy and a few of his friends are on the sidelines now looking at you

Coffee Boy is the first to say hi and all you can do is say hi back

And thank him for the coffee again

He shrugs, "no problem. Coffee fixes almost everything in college"

Almost everything. And there's an awkward silence

"see you around." He says and he walks away

Like that you never find out his name and life moves on

French class is going well and you sit in the front now and coffee boy is always late and sits in the back

You really don't do anything except exchange glances

Then midterms are coming up and you are a bit panicked bc u definitely neglected French studies

So like any good college student you cram like hell

In the library at midnight you're trying to learn vocabulary, conjugations, grammar points

You look insane by 1am bit you can't stop then you hear someone coming I'm the library

It's (literally if you can guess by now) coffee boy

And he's got 4 coffee cups in a holder with him and a huge backpack

He spots you and waves

"mind if I sit with you?"

"mind if I claim two of the coffees?"

"there all yours" and he sits next to you and slides the holder to you just like when you first met

"I made them myself"

"so you make these awesome brews?"

"yeah the schools coffee recipe is shitty."

"well maybe you should major in business and open a coffee shop. They're really good."

"maybe I will"

And you two study quietly and you peek over to see him going over French vocab

"let's quiz each other?"

"sure"

And it's 2am and you guys realize you're both fukced

Like. No vocab is sticking and the coffee had you two literally SHAKING

And by 3am you guys are just cracking up

"I never learned your name coffee boy"

"Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun."

"well. Good luck with the test tomorrow because I. Give. Up."

And you get up to leave and he offers to walk you home and you accept for safety reasons

"I'm glad to see you so happy. You're pretty like that."

"I'm an ugly crier, huh"

"kinda."

"okay, not the gentleman answer, but I admire your honesty"

"thanks. I hope you have a good night"

Yeah the walk back was not long at all. Too bad because you really were enjoying your time

But 9am French !!!

Midterms are over after a week and it's back to the daily grind

But days are way better when you have French now bc Jaehyun sits next to you (when he's on time and the seats open) and you guys joke around alot during speaking practice

He's brings you a new coffee everyday and asks you how it tastes and what he should add or take away

And you kinda hang out at the cafeteria now so you can talk to him while he's working

Ooppsss you have developed a small™ crush on Jaehyun and it's not going away anytime soon

You even open up to him about why you crying the day you met (tho u vowed to NVR speak of it again)

Yeah now the crush is nvr dying :)))

Bc your friends notice that you always go watch him play b-ball even tho it's not a REAL game

And he always has a coffee for you

And you two are always studying French

But like...you guys are making questionable grades...so...what's up??

NOTHING

French I finals are coming and you and Jaehyun are at your usual spot in the library, except this time YOU bought HIM coffee

"what brand ?"

"gross school brand that you didn't make, but is LOADED with caffeine"

"gross. Hand me one"

"cheers!"

And it's study time

But he's not focused

Like he never is and neither are you, but it's really off now

"is it that bad?"

"the coffee? Yeah. And my French grade? It's even worse. I won't make French 2."

And you're like WTF WTF NO FRENCH 2 WITH JAEHYUN YOUR CRUSH WHO LITERALLY GOT YOU THRU THIS SEMESTER ????

"Jaehyun. We are going to fix your grade with this final. I SWEAR."

You're like REAL STUDY MODE: ON

And he has this small smile on his face.

Sly....

"what?"

"you WANT me in your French 2 class don't you?"

"uuhhh-duhh free coffee to keep me up during le snooze fest"

"you know it's not free. It comes outta my pay check"

"okay, then I owe it to you to get you to pass this class and get to French 2"

"I guess."

Yeah. You're DRILLING info into ur heads ,,,, but Jaehyun is like ____ blank.

So you kinda snap

"yo do u wanna fail??? At least TRY!"

"I can't focus. I'm confused about something."

"past tense conjugations?"

"you."

Pause.

"I can't tell if you're over your ex. You took it hard and I'm trying to wait, but..."

???????????

"my ex? My ex is my ex...I'm over that"

"you never really brought it up much. I wouldn't know."

"Past tense."

"and also. The coffee."

"your coffee is good! I'm serious, Jaehyun!"

"yeah, but do like me...? Or my coffee?"

"both?"

Jaehyun is not making this easy for you okay

"I mean, if I didn't bring you coffee, would you still hang with me? Teach me French n stuff?"

"of course."

"so you...........like......me?"

HELL YES, but you settle for a simple yep

Then he just looks at you seriously

"you LIKE me LIKE me..like....LIKE LIKE?"

"uuhh...if I understood all of the likes right, then....yeah. I do like you."

OH AND THAT DOES IT

He is so reeeeeedddd

Like this boy GONE

You. His crush. Likes. Him. Wtf

Yeah he cannot quit grinning

And when you move on from the topic he can't focus on a single word you're saying

Finals day comes and you feel okay about your score and Jaehyun said he wants to leave it in the past

And you two go hang out at the cafeteria

And he's looking at you across the table

Randomly he just smiles at you

"I..wanna be your boyfriend...."

bc y'all nvr because s/o's officially soooo

Your heart rate

Lemme draw it

/\/\/\/\_______💀

Wow

He said it so cutely

Damn that's crazy bc you would love if he was your bf

And when you say that!!

Reference to drawing

After becoming official you two are like the cutest couple ever

And you go to French 2 and he's back in French 1

He got a 58 on the final :/

But OH WELL you're his tutor now

And you guys actually study

And he doesn't feel like he has to bribe you with coffee to make you like him

So with some hard work you both kick your caffeine addictions

And you guys spend the days making stupid jokes and playing basketball together

Cramming for French while high on 4 coffees each

(old habits die hard)

And you two tease each other so much

It's a miracle you get any work done really

Jaehyun passes his French 1 class with an A+ and he literally runs to your dorm to tell you

You crash into each other

He holds you to steady you

And hes like "babe I passed"

"that's great!"

"it's all thanks to you I could kiss you, but I have coffee breath and-"

"that's nothing new"

Okay and cue the totally cheesy kiss

Where Jaehyun's like "you're right, but our first kiss should be special"

Valentine Boy is a ROMANTIC okay

But it doesn't matter

You can't resist leaning in

And he lets out a fake groan like he hasn't been dying to kiss you since he first saw u snotting all over your notes

Yep he liked you then.

And the lean in was so slow, but when your lips met it was worth it

And the coffee taste.... wasn't so bad anyway

[tylerwritez]

Monday June 28

Morning update:

Oh my god.

I was packing my stuff for the big move after my parents divorce and I found an old prayer thingy.

It said:

"Dear Jesus,

Thank you for the music and the trees and my friends and family, and for the time to really look around the world with colorful skies that are so beautiful, the whole world is beautful and in balance and natural and that is how I'm gonna be. I dont want this to be a temporary, spur of the moment thing. I understand now. I realize that it's not the world that's ugly, but the sin that plagues it. I understand what He wants now. I'm sorry, God. I'm sorry, Jesus. I know I'll go to hell no matter what I do but I might as well try to live a holy life.

I understand.

But then, why all these STRONG feeling? Please, you gotta help me through that.

He made us to serve him. I understand that. Give me the strength to serve you, please. I'm so weak.

Sincerely,

Jude"

I felt so angry cos of it. Once I saw all that shit about "serving Him" I immediately ripped it up in RAGE, just blind rage.

I was just a fuCKING CHILD. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME???

8:50 p.m. update: HOLY SHIT OUCH ON MY WAY HOME I HIT A SIGNPOST COS I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION AND IT RAMMED THE HANDLEBAR OF MY BIKE RIGHT INTO MY DICK JESUS CHRIST IT HURTS GODDAMN

12:38 a.m. update:

Okay so you maybe noticed that today's entries arent really organized and that's cos I've been BUSYyyy

I'm gonna add Litten the pokemon to my kinlist also Piplup

Anyways today I went out with my friends. My dad was mad at me cos my room was all messy cos I'M PACKING MY STUFF TO MOVE?? idk what he expected my room to look like. So anwyays I left the house, me and Erin and Elle, who I'll now be calling Eden because its weird to keep using Elle for reaosns I wont describe...me and Erin and Elle went to the library and I checked out some mangas. I checked out volumes 1-2 of , , and volume 1 of

Then we went to Safeway cos it was too hot to be outside and it was another place with free A/C that was nearby. I stole some Stevia and probably other stuff that I can't recall right now.

We ate sugar cookies (those nice crumbly processed ones with icing on top) at the park, then I went home for supper.

After that i met them at the park and we biked to this Ravine area with like trees and water and a bridge and shit and we were looking for Hagstones which are rocks in the water that get holes worn into them. It's for protection from Jordan's hexes.

We found loads of nasty bugs... but no hagstones. Also the thornbushes scratched up my legs, the bugs bit me up, and the water was sorta nasty and I went on hands and knees in it looking for those rocks XD.

I had fun but it was quite uncomfortable with all the HEAT and bugs.

I got home then and idk not much happened.

I've been eating fruit instead of my usual snack foods and i think its helpful.

1:06 a.m. update:

... I feel like I'm going to cry.

I saw a post about families and now I'm upset because I... I see this shit and I feel like I'm 10 or younger even... all over again. It all comes back to me. The reason I cry at night so often... the reaosn I cant tell reality from shit my brain made up. The reaosn i need therapy and the reason i feel so TORTURED AND IN PAIN...

All I ever needed as a child was love and support and I didnt fucking get that so now any posts about happy families make me feel sad. Especially if they have a kid who is "difficult" in some way... like how I was... who still gets treated well.

Fuck man. I wasnt difficult, I had emotions. I wasnt difficult, I needed extra help. I wasnt difficult, I was trans.

I WASNT DIFFICULT... I DIDNT DESERVE TO BE ABANDONED THE WAY I WAS. holy shit. I was just a child like any other. Literally all I needed was love and support.

Fuck my parents. Now I feel like I've missed out on like... a whole childhood... as myself. Instead I spent it being who you wanted me to be to avoid your wrath.

I'm so sad.

And its cos you saw a fucking child telling you he was in pain and punished him.

I was so young.

Jay keeps misgendering me... he just referred to me as my father's daughter. OH MY GOD... I GET IT! I UNDERSTAND! I GET IT. I DON'T PASS. I GET IT, I LOOK LIKE A GIRL... I GET IT, YOU'VE SEEN ME NAKED. I UNDERSTAND.... I understand that your mind doesn't see me as male... but please. PleAse make some fucking effort. please. cos it actually hurts me to be misgendered cis people could never understand. Fuck man, cis people could never undertsand the shit we go through and I feel upset now because no matter how well intentioned he is... he just doesnt seem to Get It.... or like..I DONT KNOW! IS HE EVEN TRYING?

Like. No matter what I look like, I'm still a guy. I'm no ones daughter.

Sorry. I know I'm being rude about this and I should have more patience.

I'm just sort of upset. Why can't he see me?

Fuck man, NOBODY can see me. I'll never be seen. Cos this isn't fucking me but it never will be.

I hate this. So much. I want to RIP OFF ALL MY FLESH. WHY HAVE I GOTTA BE BORN THIS WAY HOLY FUCK HOLY SHIT WHY CAN'T I JUST BE FUCKING NORMAL GODDAMN IT I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS FUCK GOD I HATE GOD FUCK GOD ILL KILL GOD IF I EVER FLOAT UP TO HEAVEN IM GOING TO LITERSLLY FUCKING KILL GOD ILL CLAW MY WAY UP FROM HELL TO KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER FOR DOING THIS TO ME

LIKE HOLY SHIT MY CHEST??? HAS JUST GOT THIS STUFF ON IT AND ITS MAKINF ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE I WANT TO PERFORM SURGERY ON MY OWN SELF.

3:30 a.m. update:

Oh btw one of my friends says their friend had a crush on me in junior high 👀

Idk man its fukcing 3 30 I'm just on my phone. Soon l get off, piss and sleep.

Total calorie intake today was 979 cals.

Goodnight

[envy-catwalk]

Osomatsu for the character ask??

do I like them: 

OSOMATSU  MATSUNO IS THE ABSOLUTE FUKCING LOVE OF MY LIFE. I WOULD DIE FOR THAT MAN IN AN INSTANT IF HE TOLD ME TO. I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE I AM WITH THIS STUPID USELESS TURD OF A HUMAN BEING

5 good qualities: He’s so cheerful! He loves and takes care of his brothers! Hes charismatic in his own unique little way! He has such a cute laugh and such a beautiful smile! He likes having fun!

3 bad qualities: Treats women like fucking garbage (though that makes him SO hot); spends all day eating junk food, smoking, and gambling; Is a literal garbage scum of the fucking earth human being but thats why I love him

favourite episode/etc: UHhh muhfucking. They dont give my boy enough episodes or skits that solely focus on him. I like basically any time when hes with all of his brothers and they all just go fucking feral, or when hes being a whiny little brat

otp: UMMM Osomatsu selfcest??? HELLOO?????? Theres so many great au versions of my boy thanks to hesokuri wars. Dragon Oso and devimega Oso, Devimega oso with nurse oso. Just shove a whole bunch of different Osos together and let them have a gangbang, theyre perfect for each other

brotp: Him an Choro, are fucking hilarious. Him and totty being best bros is so cute, because theyre both giant babies. Him and jyushi is so much fun because they both have so much energy and theyd have a lot of fun together just bullshitting around?

ot3: osomatsu/three random girls he thinks are hot. If osomatsu is getting off, Im getting off

notp:  tougoso. Holy shit. That ship is a huge trigger for me. I usually dont get bothered seeing those things in media or in fandom spaces, but tougoso makes me physically sick and is a big trauma trigger for me. Maybe its because Osomatsu means a lot to me, so seeing him go through that and knowing what its like to go through that just god, makes me want to fucking cry. I had to leave the fandom because there was tougoso everywhere. People were generally pretty good about putting a warning in their profiles if they shipped it, but like it was everywhere, to a point where I couldnt enjoy the fandom anymore because so many people were drawing and writing and talking about it that it just wasnt safe for me anymore :(

best quote: his beautiful laugh *ugly sobs*

head canon: This man does not wash his dick. You look at him and tell me he washes his penis. You pull that foreskin back and theres dick cheese for days. I.... I... id still suck him off though, l-love knows no boundaries 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[jetsetwife]

The Avocado (avocado!lin x reader)

word count: 1346 words im gonna kms

note: dont read this im begging u do not read this its hell on earth literally there is no explanation for this except that me and dixie have really weird conversations 

summary: on what seems to be a boring sunday afternoon, the emo gods decide to bless you with an avocado. little did you know, that avocado would change your life forever.

It was a boring Sunday afternoon. You had nothing to do since you’d watched literally everything on Netflix and it wasn’t like you had friends to hang out with, so you opened Tumblr (on your COMPUTER, because even though your life was a mess, at least you still had high enough standards not to use the app- okay, you used it sometimes, but it wasn’t like this was a recurring thing, but that’s irrelevant and does nothing to move the story along) and started to scroll through your dash. Everything was going fine, or at least as fine as things can go on tumblr dot com, when a specific post caught your eye.

@worldseemedtoburrn: avocados are ugly fucking green rat potatoes that can go to hell rawr xD

You stared at the screen in shock as a wave of disgust rolled over you. The only conscious thought that ran through your mind was fuck you fuck you fuck you fUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKI YOU UKFCI YOU FUKC YOU KFUK OYU FCK U, as you clicked onto Dixie’s blog and punched the unfollow button so hard that you nearly smashed your computer.

And then you blocked and reported her for good measure, because fuck her if she can’t appreciate avocados.

After having thought so much about avocados, you were beginning to crave them, so you went to the kitchen to get an avocado, but upon opening the refrigerator, you realized the devastating truth: you’d eaten the last avocado last night.

You sank to the floor and began to cry; all you wanted was an avocado, was that too fucking much to ask? Your body shook with sobs, you’d never get your avocado, and besides that, you were still in a state of shock at Dixie’s tumblr post.

You knew that at this point, the only thing that could make you feel better was Andy Biersack’s sexy chainsaw voice, and so, slowly and with far too much effort, you picked yourself up off the floor and stumbled over to the table where you’d left your phone. You scrolled through your iTunes library until you found your favorite playlist: songs that make me want to be murdered by daddy biersack xD.

You hit play and let Andy’s chainsaw voice wash over you like waves of happiness, his voice was so beautiful… so inspiring… the chainsaw-ness of it made you want to shove a chainsaw up your ass…

“In the end, as we fade into the night… who will tell the story of your life…”

You were so inspired. You walked back to the kitchen and then you saw it.

An avocado. A perfect, beautiful avocado.

“I have given my heart for a moment of glory”

You finally understood the meaning of Andy’s beautiful words. You had given your heart to Andy, and you were finally having your moment of glory.

Slowly, you walked towards the avocado. You picked it up and as you stared at it, tears filled your eyes. It was the most beautiful avocado you had ever seen in your life.

You picked up a knife and began to cut into the avocado…

Suddenly you gasped, letting the avocado roll to the floor. You stared at it in shock. More specifically, you stared at the stone in the middle…

But it wasn’t a stone. It was the face of a man.

“What the fuck!” you shouted.

The face in the avocado stared at you. “Hi,” he said.

There were only two thoughts running through your mind. One of them was what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. The other was damn, he’s even hotter than Andy Biersack.

“... hi?” you said, your voice trembling. “Sorry I dropped you, I-” You picked the avocado back up and put it back on the counter. “Sorry.”

The avocado smiled at you and your heart sped up. “Thank you. My name’s Lin.”

You blushed and ran your hand through your hair. “Hi, Lin,” you said. “I’m (Y/N).”

“That’s a pretty name,” Lin said. “Almost as pretty as Andy Biersack’s sexy chainsaw voice.”

You gasped. “You like Andy Biersack too?” you exclaimed.

Lin smiled. “I am Andy Biersack.”

“You fucking fake!” you shouted. It had been 5 minutes since Lin told you that he was Andy Biersack and that was the only thing you’d said to him. “You aren’t Andy! You don’t have a sexy chainsaw voice!”

“Oh yeah?” Lin raised an eyebrow. “Fucking listen.”

And he began to sing.

“As long as I’m alive, (Y/N), swear to god you’ll never feel so helpless.”

You gasped. He was Andy Biersack! But then why did he also say he was Lin?

“I’m not actually Andy Biersack,” Lin admitted, as if he could read your mind. “I’m the reincarnation of him. See, the real Andy Biersack died thirty seven years ago, the same year that i was born. 

“Andy is twenty six,” you pointed out.

“No he’s not he’s fucking dead,” Lin said. “He died thirty seven years ago. And I’m the reincarnation of him.”

“You’re an avocado though.”

Lin let out a dramatic sigh and cast his gaze downwards. “Yes… many years ago, when I first realized I was the reincarnation of Andy, I wanted to see if it was true. So I went to a psychic and asked her if I really was Andy.”

You stared at him, eyes wide with wonder. “And what did she say?”

“She said that I really am Andy. But then she asked me to pay her and I didn’t have enough money, so she turned me into an avocado to get her revenge. I’ll never get to do anything I’d planned on doing… I wanted to write musicals, be an actor… but that’s never going to happen.”

“Oh my god, Lin…” You let out a sigh. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, it’s not like it’s your fault…” Lin trailed off sadly.

You bit at your lip and looked at Lin with a hopeful look in your eyes. “Lin? There’s something I’ve always wanted Andy Biersack to do to me, but Andy is dead and you’re the next best thing, so… would you?”

“Of course,” Lin said. “I would do anything for you. What do you want me to do?”

“Can you shove a chainsaw up my ass?”

Lin stared at you as if you were crazy. “I am a literal avocado, how the fuck would I shove a chainsaw up your ass?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just really want my chainsaw daddy to shove a chainsaw up my ass.”

“I’m sorry.” Lin stared down at the ground with a sad look in his eyes. “I wish I could do that for you. I would do anything for you, but that’s just not possible.”

He looked like he was about to cry, so you quickly said, “No, no! It’s okay! I don’t need to fuck a chainsaw to be complete in life…” You took a deep breath before continuing. “I only need to fuck you.”

Never in your life had you ever imagined that you’d wake up naked in bed with an avocado, but life was full of surprises.

“Did you sleep well?” Lin asked.

You nodded. “You?”

“Yeah. Especially because I was with you.”

“Aww.” You smiled. “I love you, Lin.” 

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

Suddenly you had an idea. “Wait!” You sat up and grabbed your phone from your bedside table. Before Lin could ask what you were doing, you snapped a quick selfie of the two of you in your bed. Then you opened the tumblr app, even though it’s absolute dog shit, and found Dixie’s blog. You unblocked her and sent her the selfie with the caption: just fucked an avocado, get absolutely rekt. 

You fell back against the mattress and a smile spread across your face. You’d finally gotten your revenge on Dixie after she’d insulted avocados, and you’d found the love of your life, who you loved with your whole heart despite him being a vegetable.

Everything was finally good.

if u read this,,, im so sorry

[probablyrants]

now I'm crying because I'm reading these things abt soulmates and??? it's setting me up for disappointment because. I have this terrible fear that I'll never find love and no one wants me. I don't know how many times someone's called me fucking ugly,. or how many times I've been told if i. cAnt act like a normal person and talk to people normally I won't get anywhere in life. and id ont know what to do. I just want to be happy more than anything but I'm such a gross mess and I can't do anything right so I'm not sure how that's gonna happe n so for now let me get lost I.n these fake realities that set my expectations too high and make me feel like shit after they're over because. they aren't real but the feeling makes me happy and once I'm done with one I crave the feeling of love and affection from people and I read more. I'm jsut afraid I'm driving myself out of the real world and I am so fukcing terrified of the future

[alwaysinmyheartnct]

soulmate! donghyuck ♡

honestly this is like #1 cutest thing i’ve ever written??? listen hyuck is a huge softie you can fight me on that!!! but i hope you like it, anonnie!!! -admin vi

alright so

once upon a time

you’re born with half of/part of a tattoo on your body

it completes once you touch with your soulmate

you were always pretty conscious of your tattoo growing up

it isn’t ugly or something like that

it’s the opposite actually

it’s rather beautiful

but??? all the other girls around you had tiny cute little soulmate tattoos

like half of a heart, or a puzzle piece

while you?

you had a sun on your forearm

it’s beautiful sure

you love how the sun is sketched so elegantly 

you wonder what your soulmate would be like if he represented the sun

but you’d gotten used to covering it up with a sweatshirt, hoodie eg and laughing it off when your friends asked to see your tattoo

so you know one day you’re running an errand for your mom

and while you’re walking through the park this guy starts to hit on you

and ur like???? um??? bitch what the fukc????

so being the polite ass hoe u are you sorta try to move away

but he’s persistent

and you’re like “FUCKKKK” internally 

but u try not to show it on your face

and this rude ass guy fuccin grabs your hand

and you’re honestly pretty terrified because???

literally what if this middle aged balding dude is your soulmate

thank god he’s not

but omg you poor baby you

you’re so shookt you start crying

because it’s rare to see people touching others without their consent

and you’re pretty terrified and you’re covering ur face and trying to hide your tears

you’re shaking so hard aw

and you suddenly just feel the man being pushed away from you

and this guy’s just standing there and he’s yelling at the dude

“what the hell how could you do that that wasn’t cool at all”

and you’re like

“oh my god”

because dAmn 

this boi makes u want to cry he’s so handsome???

and nice on top of that????

he shoots the man another dirty look before turning to you

you can see the concern on his face

“hey are you okay” 

he’s careful not to touch your bare skin 

khsnsuds he’s so considerate????

he introduces himself while he’s leading you to a nice quiet place to sit

“hi i’m donghyuck!”

he gives u this smile

and oh my god

it’s like the sun

did yall see what i just did there

so you’re still pretty shookt but you introduce yourself quietly

“hey i’m y/n, thanks for doing that just now”

“it’s fine, it was just really terrible to see that”

he’s so sweet honestly like what even

he’s all like “oh wait here”

and you wait bc????? um????

when lee donghyuck tells u to wait u wait

he comes back with two drinks and he hands one to you

oh my god

your fingers fucking brush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you’re like !!!!!

and he’s like !!!!!!

and you feel your tattoo growing warmer omg you roll up your sleeve

and oh my god

your soulmate tattoo is complete???

it’s no longer just the sun

it’s the entire fuckin galaxy????

there’s your sun, and the moon is like intertwined with it super prettily, and there are stars and it’s so amazing?????

um?????

it’s beautiful you want to cry

you look up and donghyuck’s staring at you with a huge grin on his face

“you’re the sun, moon, and all of the stars to me.”

[kanaolover]

hey uglie

First impression: idfk u looked like a damn nerd with ur fucking sick ass side ponies and neon shirts I legit didn’t think u were cool or anything no offense

Truth is: u suk but ur memes are dank and I would die for and ur good at being a hoe for ur faves. like I’m always laughing at ur tags and u make me laugh a lot at school and ily,,,,,,but u still a bitch

How old do you look: like 15 or 16 I guess idk

Have you ever made me laugh: n o

Have you ever made me mad: yeah bitcj but we got through that shit (even though we never talk abt it we just know and get past it its cool)

Best feature: I’m a hoe for freckles shut up. u just a cute fukc u

Have I ever had a crush on you: this just made me think of the I thought you were going to kiss me I’m crying but nah dude u my fren

Youre my: joke supplier since I pick up everything you say. u also my main jhoe

Name in my phone: again I don’t text but I had you as babe with a heart on snapchat

Should you post this too? u already did so u h