#fudging rolls podcast

[jinxedcrab]

Editing a podcast is fun especially when you can pinpoint the exact moment of "SQUIRREL!" in the conversation as it veers off in directions you did not mean for it to go. Yet, following it makes complete sense to me (and my fellow co-podcaster).

But...does it make sense to other people? I can only hope it does.

[fudgingrolls]

And we’re back! After a long hiatus on this blog, we’re bringing you all things Fudging Rolls! From our very first episode back in January of 2020 to now. We learned a few things along the way and even started our mini-podcast, Inspiration Rolls. So have fun listening to us find our footing as we to talk to you about TTRPGs (and baking)!

Release note: I will be posting these once a day or every other day to catch up to our latest episodes, so be on the look out for more!

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

Katherine Ryan being on the Off Menu podcast has made me realise a Tootsie Roll isn't a lollipop like I thought. James described it as being like chocolate fudge and toffee.

[misc-obeyme]

Hello hello CC! Long time no see, 🦀🐚 here.

Just saw that you’re gonna run a short dnd campaign and wanted to crash through and wish you a nice session with the party!

I’ve really been wanting to get into Dnd but can’t really find a group to do it with. If I introduce it to my friends I’ll probably end up as the one running the campaign and I’m not too sure whether I’ll be able to do that given that I’m new, so I’ve mostly been listening to dnd podcasts during work.

It’s just fun to see someone else trying Dnd. If you don’t me asking; since you’re running the game, did you create the campaign or are you using a premade one? I can definitely see you maybe writing one if inspiration struck…

So again, have a nice session and hope you’ve been doing great during these past few months.

Oh, welcome back, 🦀🐚 anon!

Ahhhh DnD! Thank you, it was indeed a lovely session!

I will say that the thing about podcasts is that they really go heavy on the roleplaying element of DnD. I haven't listened to a ton of them, but I do feel like part of the point is to make it entertaining enough for other people to listen? And really you can kinda do whatever you want when it comes to some of this stuff. My group is super chill so I'm not sure we do the same level of like... acting lol.

Well, lemme tell you a bit about my personal experience so that some of what I'm saying makes sense!

I started playing probably... five or so years ago? Our usual group has six players, plus the DM, which is not usually me. That's a lot, but the interest levels between the party members vary. So there are about four of us who are really into it (aside from the DM) and two of us who are not as into it, but play because they like the friend group. They enjoy combat more than roleplaying and because there are so many party members, we tend to spend a lot of our sessions in combat. It's also big stretches of time between when we play because you know, adults with lives and what not.

So the rest of us were like what if we run a smaller, separate campaign just for fun so we can play a little more frequently?

And then it was like well... our DM has been DMing for years, you think he wants a break??

And someone was like yo CC you're creative, you'd be a good DM!

And I was like... yeah okay fine! LOL!

This wasn't my first time DMing, but it has been years. And then people got sick, so I ended up with a party of only two people lol. I had to fudge some numbers but they made it through the campaign.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I found it surprisingly easy to DM. I thought it was gonna be super difficult, but it really isn't that hard at all.

I used a premade campaign that I found for free online. This was because I was kinda just getting my feet wet, you know? I think I'd rather run a homebrew campaign, where I get to make everything up. But I'll probably do a few more premade modules with the full group just to get into the swing of things.

The biggest challenge is to roll with the nonsense players throw at you. For instance, this story started out with a sheep holding a Scroll of Speak with Animals because it wanted to talk to the party (it wasn't really a sheep, but a cursed wizard). Well, it runs up to the party and immediately one of my players is like, "Can I lasso it and ride it like a pony?"

And I was like... sigh. Roll an acrobatics check.

They didn't even notice the scroll before they wanted to lasso that poor sheep. And since my player was a halfling, they could actually ride it, so I was just like okay, sure why not lol.

I swear players just really enjoy coming up with the most bonkers response they can think of because of the DM's reaction lol.

Anyway, I totally get if you're nervous to DM, but I promise it's not as hard as it seems. And if you're playing with other people who are new, they tend to be more lenient and you can all learn together. Like there were a few times where I had to ask my players about rules 'cause I forgot them.

There's a starter pack that you can get that has a whole campaign and dice and like a booklet of rules and stuff. I think it has premade characters too iirc? It's pretty good for if you want to try it out with your friends without committing to buying all the books and stuff.

My group used to play in person and our DM had one of those grid white board style maps and he'd draw out every dungeon every session. We had little figures for our characters and tons of dice! I have some really pretty purpley blue sparkly dice...

But now we play on roll20.net online because I moved across the country. If you're planning on playing virtually, you can use roll20 for free. It has built in modules you can use, but you can also just upload your own maps and stuff.

ANYWAY. Wow I rambled a lot about that, huh? Sorry about that, I guess I had a lot to say about it! But I felt like it was kind of a unique situation what with the two groups and stuff.

If nothing else, you can also check local gamer stores or sometimes independent book stores. They often run DnD campaigns that anyone can join. I think there are also online campaigns you can join on roll20 and possibly other places, too! I hope you're able to find some people to play with!

[sohannabarberaesque]

Meanwhile, headcannon combining Hanna-Barbera funtastic goodness with Wisconsin Dells

Over at the new Elm Street Stage just past downtown, who could imagine The Banana Splits and/or the Cattanooga Cats pulling off free performances of warm Wisconsin summer nights, followed by jam sessions galore overnights--and plenty of "meet-and-greet" to be had especially Downtown and at Outlets at the Dells, with much in the way of selfie opportunities?

Plenty of cheesy Wisconsin goodness to be expected as well, especially with many of your favourite Funtastics (notably the old standbys) patronising the likes of Carr Valley Cheese and Market Square Cheese and stocking up on Wisconsin's Finest when it comes to cheeses and sausages. (Oh yes, and snack crackers for to complement said cheeses.)

For good measure, there's also bound to be some attention directed at the fudge and candy shops of Wisconsin Dells, especially with Undercover Elephant enjoying his beloved Coconut Cashew Crunch--and getting some sent off to "some close friends" as well.

Though the Tommy Bartlett Show may be no more, picture a bucolic Saturday or Sunday afternoon on Artificial Lake Delton with no less than Wally Gator, Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har, and Touché Turtle and Dum-Dum kicking back on jet skis and just letting the wake dominate. Followed, perhaps, with a cookout over non-alcoholic beer or ale.

Recording podcasts at no less than Pizza Pub, with the odd tourist interview thrown in as well: Crazy Claws (and no less than), inviting tourist types to sit alongside him for pizza or maybe even pasta (especially considering that $1 from each spaghetti dinner Pizza Pub serves supports the music programmes at the local schools). Not exactly Amanda's Hot Tub or Desert Island Discs, but just give Crazy Claws a booth and let the conversation begin.

Unlikeliest of tourist distractions to be found, as if the presence of The Banana Splits and the Cattanooga Cats in walkabout wasn't distracting enow on The Broadway: Kwicky Koala, off on a side-street parking lot, having a food truck with blatantly Australian icons featured (among them Uluru, the Sydney Opera House and Harbour Bridge, the Twelve Apostles along the Great Ocean Road, some Melbourne trams, New Parliament House in Canberra, the Gold Coast skyline and the Aussie flag as well) selling Australian grocery staples including Arnott's biscuits and crispbreads, Bushell's and Nerada teas, Freddo Frogs, Cherry Ripe bars, Minties, Kool Mints, Jaffas, Fantales, Gravox gravy mix, ETA Barbecue Sauce, frozen Aussie meat pies and sausage rolls--and Vegemite, obviously.

Honey and Sis pulling off a season of surprise shortwave worldcasts from their motorhome-based worldcasting station parked at an isolated site beside Lake Delton, talking things up in their own unique way over warm Wisconsin summer nights. And imagine the QSL responses including some enquiries about the Wisconsin Dells region, even Wisconsin cheeses.

Oh, and how about the Hair Bear Bunch making their way "up north" for bear mating season for a mix of "meet-and-greets," at least one steak supper and getting some frozen steaks as well for grilling during their Camp Volkswagen sessions?

And plenty more where they came from ...

[nanodevil]

Creation of my TMA ttrpg oneshot #1

I'd been feeling the urge to DM a game for a while, particularly after listening to some of the games hosted by Jonathan Sims on the The Magnus Archives. They occasionally run short horror themed one shots during episode hiatuses- and while listening to the Duskhollow run (episode 3), it dawned on me. I want to do this. I want to do this type of thing for a Magnus Archives setting.

So, as the hyperfixation goes, my brain went to work to figure out the bits. Now, I'm writing this halfway through the process, so the earlier details are fuzzy to me.

My main inspiration was the Duskhollow run, which ran on an adapted version of the Cthulhu hack mixed with elements of the Cthulhu hack 2e. I spent about a day researching different engines to run the game on, mostly from recommendations from friends. Most notably was Candela Obscura by Darrington Press. In the end though, I returned to what inspired me in the first place - the cthulhu hack. It's a rules-light engine, that does away with overly complicated rolls and systems present in D&D that to this day i cant always get my head around. I decided to splurge a little (seriously, like, 3 pounds) on a quick start guide to the cthulhu hack. It was mildly interesting, and gave light to the rules of the system (as well as Jonny's explanation in Duskhollow episode 1).

Now I had a system. I needed players.

The process of recruiting players and adapting the system kind of ran side by side. Of course, I knew exactly who would be interested in this sort of thing. My TMA friend, Circus, who finished the entire series before I even started it, was a big fan of the idea, and was on board immediately. My other friend, Biscuits, got wind of the idea on a group chat we share, and despite only watching up until season 3, was hooked. Lastly was Cap, who also expressed interest. Despite only having consumed a couple canon episodes, he knew a lot about certain spoilers due to online fandom osmosis. I was lucky that these 3 people were already familiar with each other enough that I wasn't too worried about any awkward chemistry - these 3 chronically online weirdos were exactly who I needed as 1. players, and 2. dedicated hypemen.

The players also affected the worldbuilding route I chose. From what I saw, I had several options.

Canon universe, with canon characters, set during the time of the podcast

Canon universe, set in the past or future (I liked the idea of new assistants working for Gertrude)

AU universe, with all new characters, villains, and statements, built in the vague shape of the TMA template

I opted for number 3 - it involved the most work, but I liked the potential and possibilities it opened up. Plus, anything set in canon would contain spoilers for players like Cap, who hadn't finished season 1, who hadnt experienced the emotional plot beats that I'd be relying on the most. Option 2 sounded interesting, but with a story set in the past, any futures of the characters would be set in some sort of stone that I didn't feel would be interesting. Option 3 allowed the most openness for the players to grow and explore, with opportunities for ME to make cool new shit. This would keep the concept fresh for players who HAD listened, such as Circus and Biscuits, and off-canon enough to not spoil anything for players like Cap (and also Biscuits).

I adapted the system itself in small ways. I changed the "sanity" stat to a "fear" stat to keep more in line with the canon. I fuddled with the flashlights stat, went back and forth between calling it the eye stat or the curiosity stat. In the end, I kept it as flashlights, and smokes as smokes. The quickstart guide I purchased didn't help a lot with character building, so I had to fudge things myself from the pre-set sheets. I ended up making my own character sheet for the players to start filling out, and this kickstarted me talking to my players about character creation.

And create they did. I genuinely cannot stress how much I love the characters they created. Before I go on to them though, I want to comment on the character sheets I made.

I didn't like the character sheets that came with the quickstart guide. It didn't appeal to my personal tastes, so I tried to adapt it myself. I loved the idea of the character sheet being a "staff profile" for their employment. I initially was going to fill the character sheets out for my players, to instill the worldbuilding idea that it was the CEO filling it out rather than the employees themselves (to foreshadow the CEO's plans for them). However, I didn't go that route. To be totally honest, I thought it was helicopter-DMing to fill out the sheets for them. Especially so since I know a big reason everyone joined is the joys of character creation and making a lil blorbo to play around with. So I made an example sheet for them to reference and left them to it. 2/3 of my players are artists too, so I was happy for them to draw their characters as THEY saw fit.

My own critique notes: I feel like this template is a little too difficult for those without editing software to reference and edit - ideally these would be printed. The benefit of the quickstart guides character template was that it was an editable pdf. I didn't know how to make this like, well, THAT. I liked the "lofi charm" of the drawn version, but it's not as good for that kind of player interaction.

I did like adding my own adaption things, such as the skills, inventory list, background, and ??? squares, as well as a space for an "employee ID photo". However, my excitement got away from me and I forgot to add a particularly important block to the sheet which was "fears". This was a system I wanted to add to the game, to be able to roll disadvantage fear rolls to those who were predisposed to certain things on a character level. If I redo this template, the fears section will definitely be added. Currently, I have to keep it in my own little template box, and make sure the players are aware of what they chose.

Returning to the players, I was beyond excited with the characters they created. They were fun, interesting, and varied enough to not have any repeated concepts. All of my players ran with their ideas, and we had fully fledged characters in less than 4 hours after messaging them.

Those 4 hours began when I completed my homebrewed class system. The original cthulhu hack class system I found didn't really pertain to the worldbuilding of TMA - namely, a lot of them involved combat. While combat in ttrpgs is kind of classic, I didn't feel like it would be a big part of the game as my intention was to make it a mystery. Besides, the archives is an academic institution. There's no way a "ruffian" or a "bruiser" were getting jobs as archive assistants. The point is that theyre all different varieties of NERD. SO, I changed the system. The old system included the aforementioned bruiser and ruffian, as well as the philanthropist, the scholar, and the adventurer.

My classes were based on the given resources of the cthulhu hack, as well as inspired by Duskhollow. The resources, that being flashlights, smokes, sanity, and items, all have ingame uses and systems that I wanted to affect. For flashlights, I added the librarian - they had a background in the archive libraries and would have more knowledge on doing nerd-type research. For smokes, I added the rookie, a new hire to the archives who still had to get to know everybody around. Sanity had the skeptic, my personal favourite class, that had an advantage with fear rolls because of their preset disbelief in the occult. The last was the artfefactor, which is a word i absolutely just made up, who had a background in artefact storage and allowed the player to have access to more interesting items. I was very happy with the list I'd made. Unfortunately, nobody ended up choosing the skeptic, which was fine (im fine. im fine). I also ended up brewing a fifth class for one of the players circus, that was the same as the librarian in all but name (introducing the handyman). By introducing these classes, the characters chose their class and created their character around it.

Cap, as the rookie, made a new hire who was desparate to please everyone. Biscuits, as the artefactor, had a mysterious and absolutely traumatized artefact storage employee. Circus, as the handyman, made a southern country MAN who worked as a book restorationist in the institute library.

The kind of excitement and planning and love that went into these characters all bled into the hype created between these 4 people, and I began to wonder whether this one shot would STAY a oneshot. I love the idea of longer campaigns, but knowing me and my short lived passions, I had gone into this project with the mindset to start something small. The coming session is still a playtest, but plans for a longer campaign started to influence my further world building.

Because next was the writing.

The writing itself was it's own project that I was very looking forward to. The benefits of the cthulhu hack system is that it favours mystery, cosmic horror, and investigations and clue-collecting. That sounded perfect for what I was going for. However, the idea of investigations was beginning to weigh on me. Duskhollow was based around a police precinct that involved solving cases. Now a notable thing about the Magnus Archives is that not every case gets solved. In fact, most cases were just stepping stones to a greater mystery. The question of how to make this an engaging and satisfying mystery while still leaving threads open for a possible larger mystery began to form in my mind. What was the larger mystery going to be? What was the SMALLER mystery going to be?

The idea was to give them a case, a statement, with leads they all had to follow up on. That alone left me scratching my head for an entire weekend (as i procrastinated by making npcs over actual storylines). There are 15 fears in TMA, all with their own preset lore and trends and amalgamous interactions (hows that for a made up word?). The vast scope (lol) mixed with the unending pressure (lol) to make something different to established canon kind of left me stumped for a while. I made villains, but they all had an air of finality to them, something that had to be built up to rather than dealt with in a single investigation (on the players first week no less). I put a pin in this, putting the question to simmer in the back of my bind as I started other missions.

Next was the discord server. The discord server is to host the game itself, and to allow for player interactions and questions. I started off with 3 channels, a "system" channel for info on the game, an "out of character" channel for general talk, and an "in character" channel for players to roleplay in. I wasn't really sure about the last one, I was unsure if it would be used at all. I was inspired by other DM friend Louis, who is big in the LARP scene. His own servers had places for characters to talk in character, and I thought it was neat! I invited the players to chat around about the game, before introducing the purpose of the in character chat. I was not expecting them to take to it so well. I was honestly shocked at the response. The roleplay was funny, engaging, and let the characters practice their voices as they roleplayed on the "Magnus Institute Microsoft Teams Equivalent". The work group chat, essentially. It was amazing. I was beyond overjoyed to witness the players having such fun with an idea i didnt think would take very well. It was a lovely surprise.

I'll continue more of my process in post 2, as this is getting exceptionally long (and i need a break of writing lol). Important points I want to add on is: the homebrew worldbuilding how my archive and the canon archive differ the investigation the marks and encounters system the minecraft thing

[beaniebaneenie]

These are the type of dudes who see DnD (or any ttrpg really) as a competition between the DM and the players, and the only way to "win" is if you ruin the other side's day.

I cannot stress enough that this is the shittiest way to approach any game whatsoever.

DMs should never have the goal of killing the PCs (especially without the player's consent). Players should never have the goal of "breaking the game". And rules-lawyering just makes you the insufferable asshole at the table that everyone else wishes would be swallowed by a giant hole in the ground.

I've been a part of a game for nearly 2 years now- every single player is some flavor of neurodivergent, most of us are queer, and at least half of us are disabled, including one player who had a TBI (traumatic brain injury) right around the time we started playing. There have been sessions that each of us in turn didn't have spoons to play, so we "podcasted" the episode... that person sat there and listened to the rest of us play like it was a "let's play" or a DnD podcast, and guess what? It was fine.

Sometimes we forget what happened three months ago. Sometimes we go off on tangents our DM wasn't expecting... including us accidentally befriending the Big Bad like, 2 episodes in, which RADICALLY altered the last 18 months of game play that our DM had planned. Did he pitch a fit? No. He rolled with it, and with us, and wrote things into the game that had us guessing and having a blast.

DnD and other rpgs should be FUN. For everyone. Otherwise, there's no fucking point. If the "rules" get fudged or outright thrown out the damn window, and everyone has fun? Good. That was why you sat down to play in the first place.

Occasionally I take a peak at DnD Podcast Criticism Subreddits out of morbid curiousity and by god you will find people out there who hate entertainers with every fiber of their being. If they're not playing exactly one-to-one with DnD rules and if they even ATTEMPT comedy or drama dudes online in these miserable little circles shake with rage. I totally think criticism towards a lot of DnD shows is fair, it's great to want the shows you listen to to improve, but good lord

If you talk like this about DnD shows online I know in my heart of hearts playing a tabletop game with you would be misery incarnate

[audiodrama]

Fudged Roll

[hellfirenacht]

Hallo Rachel! <3 I was wondering, in your fics that include the Hellfire club and Reader/your self-insert interacting with them and playing with them, do you use 1985 D&D rules, or do you prefer to fudge it and use 5e terms/rules for simplicity and familiarity? Not that I'd be able to tell too much, but I'm curious, and while I always support historical accuracy, it's also super valid to make your own life easier

Love, Secret Moot ;P

Hello! I try and use the original AD&D rules if I need to, because I like making things hard on myself 💜

I try and avoid getting into the mechanics too much in fics if I have to. I end up overthinking and over explaining it and end up frustrating myself but I have been studying the AD&D manual just to get a feel for how they'd play back then.

I've also been trying to talk to people who played in the 80s to know what tables were like because podcasts like Dungeons and Daddies, Critical Roll, and The Adventure Zone brought the game to the mainstream, but I'm pretty sure back then it was mostly dungeon crawlers.

[returntosaturn271995]

On Slip Ups and Back Slides/ Fresh Starts

So sometimes when I have an eventful week I write down things that happen in list form, just to get basic facts down if nothing else. On Tuesday I didn’t write down much, even though that was the day I wore a sky blue dress on my walk to get coffee in Willow Glen. I had tried to recreate my daily beach walk back home while texting Lauren Nester about musicals and going to see The Barbie Movie on Monday.

It was a social, novel moment. It was a glam outfit I’ll probably only wear once while connecting with a friend and listening to new music (The Last Dinner Party) and walking through a new city during summer. The Barbie Movie and Oppenheimer are dominating theaters for an unlikely double showing that is marking the first time theaters are truly post-covid. This is all while writers are currently striking and actors are showing solidarity. It’s probably one of the main cultural things 2023 will be remembered for, and that was how I experienced it while it happened.

 I had a yerba matte and got gawked at by quirky Bay Area teens and their overly excitable dogs (one peed directly in my direction). My luggage didn’t make it on the flight so I wore the same smokey high-tops for five days straight. Nate and I struggled to throw the ball to  George, Betty and Beau. Nate’s eyes are green and we have a similar sense of humor. 

None of these details made it on the individual days because in my mind I had already fucked up my habits streak while at home. I wasn’t exercising as much as I could and I forgot to mediate on my drive up to Kendall’s place in Nob Hill. I was stressed out because I felt like I had to start at Day 1 again. 

But a streak doesn’t have to be perfect in terms of the every day. When I looked back at my tracking apps (Ew, I know. But fuck it, they work for me even if they do sell my data...my sad, basic, data), I had actually only missed one day of of a 43 day streak, and even though I didn’t open the app or sit up on a yoga mat, I found myself still focusing on the greens of trees and warm smell of summer. 

That’s the point of the habit in the first place, it’s a cumulative effect. I’m not restarting, I’m continuing my ongoing habit.

 When I got home, I suddenly slipped back in to me. It started by reading on the plane (god help me I love books). Then a deep shower at home, moisturizing, unpacking, washing my bedding instead of rotting in bed, reading political updates I had missed. I wore matching silky PJs even though I was only dressing for myself (Katie came home tonight from the horse races and complimented me on them). Think Cinderella if she chose to stay home from the ball doing chores for herself. 

 I made Seared Duck & Mushroom Pan Sauce with Duck Fat Fries & Arugula Salad from motherfucking scratch. That’s right, the salad had cherries and I saved Duck Fat as a MARINADE. All while the “If Books Could Kill” podcast covered “The Rules” AKA one of the most horrifying dating advice books ever.  When I dropped some of the fries on the ground of the kitchen floor, I dropped to my knees and scrubbed it clean with soap and water instead of leaving it there. The dishes from tonight got washed, leftovers are my meal tomorrow. 

The blue yoga mat got rolled out and I stretched my legs while listening to a meditation on gratitude. 

I am so fucking grateful for this week. 

My friends. Nate. My legs working and getting stronger. Air conditioning. Dogs. Mom. All the babies in the family.

The amazing sushi Kendall and I had at Mama Noko, fucking Haydyn in a black slip dress in front of the Acura sign that shines directly in to Kendall’s prewar apartment (she wasn’t there, off to fuck her hinge boo Jamie, literally pronounced like Jam’ie. Yes. Like Jam’ie private school girl). Seeing Sara and having a laugh attack after 10 years. The hot fudge sundae we split and the lavender Skims body suit I wore, accidentally matching her long black Skims dress. 

The truth is streaks are silly because no one is perfect every day. But I’m still improving. Every day is fresh start. Every day is a continuation. 

Or as Sheryl Crow would put it: “Every day is a winding road”. 

I’m getting a little bit closer. 

[jinxedcrab]

Excuse me while I feel accomplished for finally finishing editing a podcast episode I've been sitting on for months and now it is out in the world and published!

Fudging Rolls is back! Let's go!

[fudgingrolls]

Our first four part series begins here! Talking about how to plot things is fun and we used NaNo-Month as an excuse to delve into how to do that in a ttrpg setting. We come back to this topic a lot, so don’t worry. These four episodes are just the beginning.

Also found on apple podcasts and at fudgingrolls.libsyn.com

[baronfulmen]

Or if not diceless, if you want some randomness and rolling but don't like wild unexpected success/failures:

The bigger the dice you roll the bigger the swing, generally speaking, so you could play a system that uses something like Fudge / Fate dice (d3, -1/0/+1) where they create a bell curve and the biggest swing you'll get is +/- the number of dice you rolled.

If you're using d20s and treat every nat 20 like a miracle maybe cut that out. It's fun for podcasts or Dimension 20 or whatever because they're focusing on dramatic storytelling, but it's not the best way to play a normal home game for most people.

Just don't give the player the option to roll if you don't want to deal with the results. It's okay to let them auto-succeed something very likely or tell them something very unlikely is just not possible.

Reading some of my notes apparently a lot of people feel that they would benefit from someone sitting their asses down and learning them some probability, and to be fair tabletop RPG math isn't so complex that even an English major like me couldn't explain it in such a way that most people would understand it.

Anyway on a completely different note, the funny thing in my experience is that even if you explain the numbies and how to arrive at them, at the end of the day most people are really bad at actually interpreting those numbies. Even in percentile-based systems where your exact chances out of a hundred are made immediately obvious (a 47% chance is a forty-seven per centum [New Latin for "by the hundred"] chance) most people fall on a number of probability-based fallacies whose names I can't remember but I think Gambler's fallacy is at least one of them. Anyway what I mean is that when a number is higher than 50% it should succeed more often than fail, so like guy who has a 55% chance of succeeding voice why do I keep failing 45% of the time

[eponymous-rose]

A Critical Role Campaign 2 Mechanics Primer

Got a request from a new Critical Role viewer for some clarification re: rules and characters, and dang, yes, there’s so much stuff to deal with as a new viewer at the moment. So here’s an attempt at clarifying some stuff!

How does D&D work?

Fundamentally, one person (the DM) sets the scene and the players riff off that scene by acting out what their characters would do in response. Whenever a player’s actions would lead to an uncertain result, the DM can call for them to roll a die and try to hit a predetermined target number to see if they succeed. The players’ individual characters have abilities that boost certain categories of rolls and penalize others; a very strong character is more likely than a scrawny one to be able to open a jammed door, but they could still have an unlucky roll. It’s the DM’s job to incorporate the sometimes-absurd results of those die rolls into a coherent story.

Combat is the most “gamey” D&D gets, where everyone has a turn set aside to act (with an order determined by the “initiative” roll that starts combat). This is where character classes come in handy: magic-users cast spells, fighters jump in with their weapons of choice, and so forth. Each character has a set of hit points, and once those reach zero, the character is unconscious and possibly dying. But combat ain’t just hack-and-slash: there can be conversation, strategy, manipulation, collaboration, and all sorts of weird subtleties going on. Fundamentally, players’ actions are limited only by their imaginations.

It can be super weird getting into a D&D show even if you have played a bit because everyone plays the game a bit differently. Critical Role’s gameplay leans hard into roleplaying and character beats (there are episodes with basically no dice rolls) but also leans hard enough into the rules that a random bad or good roll can completely derail the story; rolls aren’t fudged or handwaved for the sake of a predetermined narrative, which means nobody playing (including the DM) knows how things are going to end up. This makes for a viewing experience that is a cross between dramedy improv and live sports; the cast plays out long scenes of conversation, but their characters could also permanently die at any time, adding to the high stakes. It’s also totally unedited, which accounts for the absurdly long runtime. 

If any of that isn’t for you, there are a lot of great D&D podcasts out there (often labeled “actual play”) that run the gamut from silly with minimal rules to mechanically involved but edited down. It’s a cool time to get into D&D!

Okay, so how exactly do these characters do their thing?

One of the more confusing aspects for new viewers of the second campaign of Critical Role is that they’re using a fair amount of content that’s not in the baseline ruleset - some character races and classes are coming from expansion content, and some are from Matt Mercer (the DM’s) homebrew. Here’s a quick summary of what each character has going on at the start of the campaign, moving from left to right in the first episode’s seating arrangement.

Fjord (played by Travis Willingham)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Travis is the big guy who looks like he could throw a football real far. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has a Texas twang.

Fjord is a half-orc warlock. A half-orc typically has green skin and tusks but otherwise looks fairly close to a garden-variety human. Warlocks are magic-users who gained their abilities from a bargain with a mysterious (generally somewhat malevolent) being of great power. Mechanically, they rely a lot on what are called cantrips (spells that can be cast an unlimited number of times a day) since the number of more powerful spells at their disposal is very limited. However, unlike most other casters that have to get a full night’s sleep to regain their stronger spells, warlocks just have to rest for an hour or so and they’re good to go. More specifically, Fjord is a hexblade warlock. Hexblades are warlocks who have a particularly strong bond with their weapon of choice and can summon it from nothing.

Beauregard (played by Marisha Ray)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Marisha is the woman who often perches on her chair like she’s about to take flight. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is a bit gruff with a sarcastic drawl.

Beau is a human monk. Both humans in this campaign use a variant version of human that allows them to pick a feat at the start of the campaign: Beau has some extra expertise in investigative and athletic abilities. Monks are preternaturally powerful martial artists; what some classes do with magic, they do with unarmed combat. Mechanically, they rely on an ability called ki points, which are a stockpile of points that can be used for extra-powerful abilities such as being able to hit extra times on an attack or being able to stun an enemy. More specifically, Beau is a Way of the Cobalt Soul monk, which is a homebrew from Matt and means she’s essentially a warrior-monk-librarian whose key abilities center around rooting out useful information.

Caleb (played by Liam O’Brien)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Liam is the guy who perpetually looks like he’s about to launch into a Shakespearean monologue. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is soft with a German accent.

Caleb is a human wizard. His variant human feat gives him an eidetic memory and the ability to always know what time it is. Wizards are magic-users who got to where they are with careful study; Caleb has to keep track of his spells by transcribing them into a spellbook. He also has a familiar in the form of the cat Frumpkin, although Frumpkin can also change forms. Mechanically, wizards can pick up spells from a lot of different sources to learn them, but again, the cost in time and materials of transcribing them into a spellbook can be substantial. More specifically, Caleb is a transmutation wizard, which means his wizardry focuses around the act of transforming one thing into another.

Nott (played by Sam Riegel)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Sam is the guy with an alarmingly big smile and a comically oversized flask. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is high-pitched with varying levels of Cockney accent.

Nott is a goblin rogue. Goblins are small and quick, and may or may not be well-received depending on the location. Rogues are sneaky individuals who do best when striking from the shadows or scouting ahead to investigate potential traps and unlock doors. Mechanically, they get a huge bonus in combat if they attack when unseen or when an opponent is distracted by an ally. They’re also very good at avoiding attacks and at hiding from view. More specifically, Nott is an arcane trickster rogue, which means she also dabbles in magic related to illusions and enchantment.

Jester (played by Laura Bailey)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Laura is the one who may or may not be instigating every round of giggles at accidental innuendo. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is bubbly with an Eastern European accent.

Jester is a tiefling cleric. Tieflings essentially look like brightly-colored humans (Jester has blue skin) with horns and a tail; they��re the result of infernal ancestry and also may or may not be well-received. Clerics are magic-users who derive their power from the blessing of a deity or other extremely powerful entity. Jester’s divine patron is the Traveler, a mysterious trickster with an affinity for phallic graffiti. Mechanically, clerics have a massive stable of spells from which they can choose a subset every morning; their abilities range from healing wounds to causing devastating harm. More specifically, Jester is a trickery domain cleric, which means her spells have a strong focus on illusions and pranks.

Mollymauk (played by Taliesin Jaffe)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Taliesin is the one who looks like he may be some sort of ancient fey creature who’s come to our realm to play D&D. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has an Irish accent of varying intensity.

Molly is a tiefling blood hunter with purple skin. Blood hunters are a custom class Matt created that can use their own blood (in a process called hemocraft) to augment their combat abilities. Mechanically, blood hunters are high-risk high-reward; they can perform devastatingly brutal attacks, but often only at the cost of shedding some of their own blood to do so. More specifically, Molly is an Order of the Ghostslayer blood hunter, which means he’s got an affinity for things relating to the moment of death.

Yasha (played by Ashley Johnson)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Ashley is the one who isn’t around for a little bit (she was splitting her time with a TV show on the opposite coast) and then SHE’S BACK AND I’M STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is soft with a faint Scandinavian accent.

Yasha is an aasimar barbarian. Aasimar are the semi-divine counterpart to tieflings, although Yasha is a fallen aasimar with a fairly different aesthetic. Barbarians use their rage to enhance their already fierce battle prowess. Mechanically, barbarians in a rage take less damage and deal more damage, and also embrace a high-risk high-reward playstyle as tanks in the middle of the fray. More specifically, Yasha is a Path of the Zealot barbarian, which means her battle rages are fueled by the influence of a divine being.

Interested in watching from the start of campaign 2? The show has a YouTube channel with each episode posted in its entirety, and all episodes are also available in podcast form (they did jump channels partway through, but you can usually find a playlist that has them all). If you want to delve into campaign 1, I highly recommend it, but be aware that they’re still figuring out tech stuff and you’re also jumping in partway through the game they started years earlier at home. Campaign 2 starts 20 years after campaign 1 on a different continent of the same world, and is intended to be an appropriate jumping-on point for new viewers.

Interested in catching up faster so you can watch live with friends? Search Critical Recap for a series of recap videos on YouTube, which then becomes a series of written summaries on the CritRole website after episode 88. There are also great summaries on the Wiki, and many people have put together catch-up guides for new viewers. 

There’s A LOT of content out there. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for skimming the early stuff if you want to get in on the new episodes sooner. <3

Episodes air at 7 PM Pacific every Thursday on Critical Role’s Twitch and YouTube channels; the VOD goes up for free on YouTube the Monday after. In the last few months, the cast has been distanced at the studio (all on separate cameras) and episodes have been pre-recorded several weeks in advance; normally, the show is streamed live and everyone is around the same table.

Hope that helps! If you have any questions, let me know. This is a fun show to get into, and a great all-consuming massive body of entertainment if you have the time for it.

[sohannabarberaesque]

Meanwhile, back in Wisconsin Dells--

[Mise en scene: No less than Mr. Pancake out on "The Strip," close to Noah's Ark waterpark, where we find The Banana Splits "themselves," on a Road Trip of Redemption from the rather awful horror film treatment, having the legendary Hot Fudge Banana Split Waffle. Not to mention Crazy Claws, resident Hanna-Barberian raconteur of the Waterpark Capital, doing a podcast segment.]

CRAZY CLAWS: Well well well ... the Banana Splits "themselves," having a breakfast of banana splits!

[Excitable laughter, which in Snorky's case comes out in rather blatant honking]

DROOPER, explaining the whole: Uh, it might surprise you to know that these happen to be Hot Fudge Banana Split Waffles--

FLEEGLE, being a little too stentorian trying to elaborate: --which we stumbled across a few years back while visiting this esteemed breakfast joint while passing through ourselves!

BINGO: Only, for some reason, to pull off a few days here, just managing to recuperate. Uh, fellows, remember that kayaking expedition on the river?

FLEEGLE: I certainly remember it, and then some!

SNORKY: [Ecstatic honking]

CRAZY CLAWS: And I certainly do as well; in fact, it was yours truly leading the whole exercise, managing to not run adrift all the while after getting caught in a sandbar, then having to think quickly getting back into the kayaks after getting into more kayakable waters for once and getting something of a shock because of chilly waters, which had Fleegle's kayak especially roll over as he was trying to get back in!

SNORKY: [Ecstatic honking]

DROOPER, interpreting for Snorky: Snorky couldn't help but recall what a laugh that turned out being!!

CRAZY CLAWS: Awwww, the sheer silliness of just paddling on kayaks--or should that be "stillness"?!--and letting the river drift you away from such otherwise excitable excesses--what better way is there for getting fellow Funtastics like yourselves relaxed and not so pent up?

[The whole party breaking out hilariously, even to the extent of having to pass around a tub of moist towelettes they brought along for cleaning up around their mouths and chins.]

BINGO: One thing I can also add ... the coffee's rather acceptable!

CRAZY CLAWS: As the meme says, "Drink coffee ... do stupid things faster with more energy!"

[Hilarity ensues]

[criminalrambling]

It Only Takes a Taste pt. 1

When things got stressful or you needed to take your mind off of things, you would bake. Pulling out a favorite recipe or trying a new one was a way to open a door to somewhere else… maybe a Parisian patisserie with some pain au chocolat, or your grandma's kitchen with her famous blueberry pie. It helped you escape for a while, and you loved to share the treats with friends and family.

Your neighbor Penelope Garcia was one common recipient of these goodies, in part due to proximity but also because you knew her job required her and her colleagues to deal with some super gruesome stuff… she hadn't shared too many specifics, but you knew that she helped catch serial killers, and that was enough to get the gist. She would sometimes come by when she returned home to sit in your kitchen with a mug of tea, talking about anything but work!

You'd tell her about the books you'd read that week, your latest craft project and what was happening with the planning for your brothers wedding. She would share about what she and her co-workers had gotten up to on girls night, and her favorite blogs for fashion tips and cute puppy photos. And you'd send her home with a tupperware or Ziploc bag full of baked goods to take to work. You hoped she and the team enjoyed them, plus it felt nice to share with others.

---------------

The entire team loved when Penelope would stroll in carrying a stash of treats, but none quite as much as notorious snack-fiend Spencer Reid.

He'd stop what he was doing every time he heard Penelope's heels clatter across the floor towards the empty desk that had become a congregation point for the team.

"Greetings, earthlings! I have sustenance!" She would chime happily, clapping her hands together after setting the bag or tray down.

"What do we got, li'l mama?" Derek asked, turning his chair towards Penelope, eyebrows raised.

"There's a toffee crunch blondie for the tame ones, or an espresso fudge brownie for those who like it dark and smooth." She replied with a wink.

Mouth watering, Spencer selected one of each to go with his coffee. JJ joined him, taking a bite of her blondie.

"Oh my god, Pen, these are great. Thank you!" JJ exclaimed.

"Any time I am gifted with sweets, I am always happy to share the wealth!"

"Who were they from? New boyfriend?" Derek asked, accepting the brownie that Penelope passed him.

"Nope. As usual, my neighbor and confidante Y/N."

"You should hang out with her more often. And bring us the spoils!" Emily argued, waving to Penelope in thanks before heading back to work.

Spencer silently agreed. Anyone who could prepare something so balanced and special had to be a wonderful person. She was clearly generous, since she always shared with Penelope… he found himself wondering about Y/N every time his bubbly colleague brought her up. Not what she looked like, that was irrelevant. Would she listen to jazz as she baked? An audiobook or podcast? Who were her favorite authors? He hoped someday they would all have an occasion to meet Y/N so he could find out.

------------------

You were on your way home from a pilates class when you felt your phone buzzing in your bag. Yanking it out, you saw it was Penelope and grinned as you answered.

"Hey Penny, what's up?"

"Hi! Not a lot, well, I mean a couple things with the work and the volunteering and stuff but not really that much! Any way, I wanted to invite you to this brunch party that my boss is hosting at his ridiculously gorgeous house. I'm making my famous marg-mosas!"

"That sounds great! When is it?"

"Next Saturday at 11:00. The weather looks nice so I think it will be outdoors for at least some of the time."

"Ok, awesome, I'm free. Is there anything I can bring? Some bubbly or cinnamon rolls?"

"I don't think anyone would say no to more of your baking, but whatever you feel like bringing or not bringing is totally fine. We can carpool? I'll come by and grab you at 10:15, his place is a bit of a drive."

You agreed to her plans and said your goodbyes. What a fun idea! Garden brunch at a mansion, who could say no to that? You hoped Penelope's friends were as great as she was. Now… what would you wear? And more importantly, what would you bake?!

-----------------

Spencer had been looking forward to the team brunch at Rossi's even more than usual once Penelope had mentioned that Y/N would be in attendance. He'd arrived unfashionably early, and sat at Rossi's kitchen island with a cup of coffee while his host made the final adjustments to the various dishes that would be served.

Soon, JJ, Will and the boys arrived, followed by Derek and Savannah. The group of them caught up on the patio, and while he was definitely curious how Henry was doing in school he couldn't help losing his focus every time the doorbell rang. Finally, he heard Penelope's loud greeting to Rossi and a softer introduction of her friend. His eyes widened in anticipation of seeing Y/N, who he'd wondered so much about.

The first thing he noticed as they rounded the corner was her bright smile and shiny, soft-looking hair. She was dressed casually, wearing a white tee that was tucked into a floral print skirt that ended a few inches below her knees and a slim pair of sneakers. Rossi was clearly enamored with her, finding plenty in common with another accomplished home cook as he welcomed her to his home. She carried a large tray covered in foil wrapping, and he wondered what she'd brought.

He soon didn't have to wonder, as Penelope ushered her friend over to the group on the patio.

"Friends, this is Y/N! My neighbor, friend and beloved source of baked goods. Y/N, meet Derek and his girlfriend Savannah, JJ, Will and their boys, and Spencer."

"It's so nice to meet all of you!" Y/N said, sounding genuinely pleased but looking a little more reserved. As the conversation continued she seemed to become more comfortable, making a couple of jokes and sharing more about herself. Spencer felt she was even better than he'd imagined… her favorite musician was either Etta James or Taylor Swift, and she'd gone into great detail about a podcast she'd listened to recently about medical malpractice in a Dallas-area hospital. It was clear she was someone with strong opinions and intelligence, but a bright outlook on the world around her. Spencer thought he could use some of that optimism in his life.

Rossi and a couple of hired servers ushered them over to the dining table that had been set up, asking everyone to take their seats. Miraculously, Spencer was able to get a seat close enough to Y/N that he knew they'd be able to talk throughout the morning. Mugs of coffee and champagne were passed around, and then Rossi proposed a toast.

"To this family of the BAU, and to friends old and new. For you I am thankful and blessed. Saluti!"

Spencer clinked his mug of black coffee to Y/N's own, with a small smile that he hoped was appealing. New friends indeed!