#fucking venture capital idk at this point

[drakulateeth]

Is there anyone who has experience with publishing scientific articles? I have so many questions that I want to pose before I decide if I’m going to do it or not

[toytulini]

"why are people mad about AI being pushed on them when they SHOULD be mad about all the privacy erosion??"

1) plenty of us bitches are mad and annoyed about both, actually.

2) the privacy erosion has become the normalized state of existence for the average person for the last 10 fucking years at least, its snuck in, they disguise it as Convenient Features to Help You Shop Better, and thats IF they bother telling you theyre doing it, instead of just opting all your shit in without asking, its so fucking normalized that yeah, a lot of people do not bother to question it, they just sigh in resignation and go, yeah, i guess, do i even have other options? and they do, but theyre an investment of learning and time you dont have capacity for at the moment, or maybe you do but you feel like you dont bc it feels like a bigger hurdle than it is, and computer stuff is already kind of intimidating, cos man, what if you hit the wrong thing and brick your expensive ass machine? easier to just let it data harvest, you guess, it cant be THAT bad, can it? plenty of people live like this, put up with this, seek this out, its easier not to resist the privacy erosion. fucking whatever, i guess. yeah, i guess twitter i mean X, or walmart, or facebook, can just have all of my contact info and my phone number and my birthday and phone contacts and bank information and fuck it, give them my ssn while im at it. less effort later. this is just how tech has been for the last 10 yrs. no one can effectively get rage clicks on this topic anymore bc we all fucking know. it sucks and we know. what do you want me to fucking do about it? i have other shit to deal with more urgently. etc

3)

you cant turn anything on or log onto anything or go anywhere without hearing about whatever new shit theyre throwing AI at for no real reason, no one will fucking Shut Up about AI, and its Annoying, man

[wulfhalls]

i feel like kendall and logan are so connected at this point that if one of them dies the other will follow… like after everything they’ve done… it’s not gonna “matter”. because both of them will lose.

no no logan will die of an acute case of home of phobia after seeing kenstew kiss and kenstew will walk away unscathed and do some idk venture capitalism or whatever the fuck it's called while running an organic wine bar on the side but mostly they just fuck! jesse armstrong call me its not too late to implement this ending. lets just get together me u jeremy arian and a phone camera we can bang this out in tow days tops

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde

Page 99-105

JADE: the prince’s power grows.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

JADE: i feel him resonate through the void.

KARKAT: FUCKING GREAT.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second

DAVE: also are you ok

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM!

KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN!

JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario.

KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

KARKAT: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

DAVE: yeah i may be totally misunderstanding the intricacies of "next gen technology" designed by an idiot in microshorts

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door

JADE: i unlocked it with my mind.

DAVE: fuck

KARKAT: FANTASTIC.

JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

KARKAT: WOW? COOL? AND YOU HAD TO COME IN HERE AT THE ASSCRACK OF THE MORNING TO TELL US THIS?

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

JADE: ...

KARKAT: OH, IS THAT ALL? NOTHING ELSE TO SAY?

DAVE: karkat its fine

DAVE: who cares

KARKAT: YEAH. YOU’RE RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO WAKE UP FOR.

KARKAT: GO BACK TO BED.

DAVE: no dude im up fuck it

DAVE: i want coffee

KARKAT: FUCK! FINE! FUCK IT.

KARKAT: I NEED TO USE THE GAPER ANYWAY.

DAVE: oh me too

KARKAT: DON’T FOLLOW ME.

ROXY: oh what up

ROXY: its a whole ass pajama party up in here

ROXY: couldnt sleep??

KARKAT: JADE WOKE US UP BY BEING CREEPY.

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jade why did u do that

KARKAT: WHAT?

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US!

ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess

ROXY: it be like that

KARKAT: I PREFERRED WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS FLOAT AROUND AND POINT AT SHIT.

KARKAT: AT LEAST THAT WAS QUIET.

DAVE: yall want coffee

ROXY: sure

KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.

DAVE: hate to give it up to venture capitalism but this coffee is EONS better than the garbage we had on the meteor

DAVE: this ship is maybe the dumbest thing ive ever looked at but its a give and take right

ROXY: maybe u just developed a taste for it

ROXY: i used to think coffee tasted like ass but drinkin it was another thing i felt like my mom woulda done

ROXY: turns out rose drinks tea and i stockholmed my own dumb butt into liking this addictive bean juice

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now

ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away

ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"

KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU UP ANYWAY?

ROXY: well i wasnt but then somebody screamed like a rooster boned a teapot and had a noisy lovechild

DAVE: yeah thats basically accurate

KARKAT: FUCK YOU.

DAVE: maybe if youre lucky

KARKAT: THAT JOKE STOPS BEING FUNNY WHEN WE’VE ACTUALLY

KARKAT: UH

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: in the fridge

DAVE: wheres kanaya

ROXY: idk

ROXY: sleepin i hope

ROXY: last time i saw her she was on the second floor

ROXY: no

ROXY: the third floor observation deck

ROXY: this place is huge

KARKAT: PLEASE.

KARKAT: IT’S MAYBE A TENTH THE SIZE OF THE METEOR.

DAVE: yeah dude but that was basically a city

DAVE: this is more like a castle

DAVE: a castle of idk

DAVE: twenty something ennui

ROXY: anybody hungry

ROXY: i was thinkin about alchemizing some pancakes

ROXY: or maybe eggs

ROXY: they all basically taste the same at the end of the day i think alchemized food is like eighty percent imagination

ROXY: but both of you barely eat and its making me anxious

DAVE: damn thanks mom

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shit

DAVE: dad

DAVE: roxy

DAVE: fuck sorry im tired

ROXY: haha its ok

ROXY: dont worry about it

DAVE: okay but just because our relatives turned evil doesnt mean we have to act like total animals

DAVE: we can still try to respect each others identities and shit

DAVE: anyway im gonna go check on kanaya

DAVE: possessed jade dont follow me

JADE: i am fine where i am.

DAVE: cool

[stimkydukc]

so twitter is a endlessly burning pit of hatred run by elon musk, facebook is the world's biggest data mining operation, tumblr is run by a pissbaby who's incensed trans people would dare talk back to him (or bring up the site's own pit of hatred in the basement), reddit is owned by a pedophile and has redditors on it, and it turns out cohost is run by awful people too!

(idk about bluesky but i don't like the twitter format either way)

fucking amazing how centralized social media has absorbed all the problems of the forums and chat servers of 90's and 00's, cut down on 90% of your options, and added capitalism's insatiable need for fucking everything to be a profitable venture on top of it.

at this point it feels like the only way to avoid having your social media run by pissbabies or pedophiles or soulless corporate husks who will monetize the hell out of your social life is to go decentralized (or even fucking self-hosted)

i should get a raspberry pi at some point and turn it into a tiny server for my friends, but i'm broke as fuck so idk what to do until then

[chevelleneech]

Re: the Oliver bi post -

I wouldn’t be surprised if Oliver was bi and just hasn’t come out to the public yet. Going by how eloquent he id and how he speaks during interviews addressing Buck’s sexuality or the inclusiveness of the show, he’s either a part of the community imo or the world’s best Ally. (Capital A)

It’s weird to speculate on real people’s sexuality, but either way I’m grateful as a bi person to have him in our corner regardless of how he identifies :)

Being the nosy bitch I am, I am rather okay with the fact that I’m always googling people’s personal lives and talking about it in some form. It’s been a long lived trait of my personality, as I tend to just want to know information about people and things. I never take it out of fandom spaces, don’t overstep by invading actual privacy, and try my best to dial my curiosity back, but as you can tell from this blog alone… I often fail on the latter.

That said, I don’t think I venture too deep into Oliver’s sexuality, because he doesn’t really give me closeted vibes. Not that I can tell one way or the other for real, but after my initial search to see if he was, I just idk… believe him saying he’s an ally. He seems incredibly comfortable with himself and doesn’t really take shit from people. And while that isn’t exclusive to allies, I do think it’s possible that if Oliver were queer, it’s something he’d refuse to take shit for. I feel like his personality would lean more toward being out and outspoken about it, because from a fan pov, he seems more than fine telling people to shut the fuck up and fuck off if they have something bad to say about him or the things he believes in.

However, I do understand the nuisance that comes with being closeted, so I can’t say what you think is an impossibility. He could very well be bisexual and just not out. To me though, if he does end up coming out, I still think it’d probably be because he realized his queerness due to being such an advocate for Buck’s. Which, maybe that’s me speaking from a slightly personal experience? Idk.

I always thought myself an ally and open minded, and I would much rather invest in queer stories than not, but I didn’t think anything was odd about that due to again, the assumption that investing in queer characters and their stories was just the right thing to do as someone who isn’t a bigot.

Nope, I’m just asexual, lol. My intrigue is rooted in wanting to see relationships play out on screen between people who don’t fit into cis/het boxes, because growing up that’s all I saw. Men and women kissing and falling in love and that being the “right way” to showcase romance. Realizing I’m ace and have very little interest in traditional romance helped me let go of a lot of hang ups that I had about myself.

So it’s possible I’m projecting like shit, but yeah. I don’t think Oliver is bi necessarily, but if he is, I do think it’s something he would most likely have discovered recently.

Sidebar: Two of his tattoos did add to my initial wonderings about him though, I will admit. He and I are in the same age group, so I feel like it’s fine to assume he also knows the rumors about his arm bands and the hollow star tattoo. They don’t mean a man is queer, but growing up in the early 2000s, those two things were like rumored signifiers. So when I saw him with them, I just assumed he was in the closet. Now though, I’m more just like, maybe that was just a point in time when a lot of queer men had those tattoos and to Oliver they don’t mean the same thing.

Doesn’t matter either way, but yeah.

Thanks for stopping by though, and not yelling at me for making a post about how I’d find it funny if his life imitated his art!

[subbyfoxelf]

[tv review] ds9 3x23 "family business" (1995)

first & foremost this is our first visit to ferenginar and i really appreciated having this area of the star trek universe filled in a bit. like, it’s pretty much always a momentous occasion when a mainstay species’ homeworld gets shown for the first time.

the plight of ferengi women is something that’s been alluded to since all the way back in tng, and has come up more than once in ds9, most notably in “rules of acquisition” (the episode with pel). but this is the show’s first real attempt to dig into the issue on a larger scale, and i remembered being pretty pleased with it the first few times i saw it, but now that i’m revisiting it… honestly, i have some pretty mixed feelings about it?

what a lot of it boils down to is that very specifically tying ishka’s (and, by implied extension, all ferengi women) fight for liberation to… profit. and like… profit is bad, actually? profit is tied to another economic concept called “surplus value,” which is the crux of the central contradiction of capitalism. without getting too far into the weeds here, the general idea is that the more you exploit people the better it is for you.

so, like, the “more women ceos!”/“girlboss”/“lean in” trends in capitalist-approved, predominantly white brands of “feminism” is essentially saying “let’s not question the essential evils of capitalism, we just want to play too!”

on the other hand, not to be controversial or anything but it’s maybe not great that ferengi women apparently aren’t allowed to go outside or wear clothes? so like. even girlboss white feminism has an iota or two of moral highground here.

and, like, hell… we’re pretty fucking lucky that this episode depicts a ferengi woman fighting for her own liberation rather than, like, the federation swooping in & trying to bully the ferengi into being less misogynistic? because in its more naive moments, star trek oftentimes draws deliberate parallels between the federation and the u.s. (which, hahahaha, NO?), and wow does the u.s. ever love trying to pretend its latest imperialist venture is tied to human rights violations and/or oppression in whatever country it’s bombing into submission this week.

… oh, right, i said i was trying to stay out of the weeds, didn’t i? whoops.

fine, you’re right, at this point i should still be counting my blessings that the shockingly upfront antisemitism that gene roddenberry originally brought to the table for the ferengi has largely been left behind.

on the level of character & relationship drama, this feels like the right time to point out that the show finally figured out how to write rom at some point, and he feels like a fully-fledged character in ways that he never really did in season 1, and showed flashes of in season 2. i think the turning point was when he shut quark down when quark tried to veto nog joining starfleet, and it’s continued here.

yes, rom is still a wonderful himbo who deserves our protection, but he’s starting to be a three-dimensional himbo as his characterization really solidifies, and that’s great! having all three members of the station’s most prominent ferengi family be fully-fledged characters is definitely one for the win column.

on the other hand, the resolution of quark & his mother’s conflict honestly doesn’t feel super earned? like, the idea that rom getting the two of them in a room together was enough to resolve the issue doesn’t make a lot of sense when they were in the same room together multiple times? idk man. i do appreciate rom showing emotional intelligence here, but it just doesn’t really add up or feel motivated by anything else that’s happened in the episode to this point. it’s just kinda like “wellp. it’s almost time for the episode to be over now.”

… i’m really digging into this one a lot, but at the end of the day no matter how much i dig into this stuff i think things like what i mentioned at the top of this review (the worldbuilding around the introduction of ferenginar) matter a whole lot more to me than whether the politics of the episode were good or whether the character conflicts resolve in ways that are entirely satisfying? like, those things matter and are interesting to talk about, but at the end of the day yeah i did enjoy this episode in the sense that it was engaging and had a lot going on and expanded the world quite a bit.

to end on a definitive high note, back on deep space nine, we get some always-welcome sisko family fun times. specifically, cassidy yates–the freighter captain who jake mentioned wanting to introduce his father to in the previous episode–makes her first appearance! unless i’m misremembering i don’t think it’s ever made entirely clear just how jake made friends with cassidy in the first place? but him trying to set them up is super cute. i really appreciate how often this show does right by benjamin & jake.

b-rank

[emmg]

FINALLY done with all my work which means I spent the day catching up on my reading. You know what that means *rubs hands*

“Tell me, does Mazzanti ring a bell?” >>> I am going to take off his belt and beat his face with it lmfaoooo. NO RAPHAEL NO, normal working class people DO NOT know what a freaking Mazzanti is. GET OUT OF HERE with your "casual everyday" Ferrari. Oh my goooooddd I hate him so much but I also need him carnally. He makes me so mad but I still want him. He's sooooo arrogant and so rich and so the embodiment of everything that is wrong with capitalism but I'd still kneel for him. This is the type of rich dude who will tell you how nice you look and then later go ew is that from Marshall's? And then wash his hands because god forbid his skin touches anything other than pure cashmere.

Anyway moving on lmfao.

Raphael pulling into suburbia in his Ferrari to pick her up. How noble of him to venture out of his ivory tower to see how the plebs live, wade through the muck and filth of roads in non-gated communities. He's like:

Oh man it's a short excerpt but it gave me so much joy lmaooo. I can practically smell him. The leather interior, the cologne, I'm sure he has some mints stashed somewhere, maybe he smoked a cigarette earlier idk (ik ik, but I actually enjoy cigarette smoke on a man, sue me lmfao)

I can't decide if Raphael would be the type to overtip the valet in advance to make sure his car doesn't get scratched or if he's more of a glare-you-down-do-you-know-who-my-father-is kinda guy. Probably both, depending on the mood lol

And now I'm imagining him running into his dad at the restaurant and suddenly he's a lil bitch in front of his date because daddy is even a bigger deal than he is and oh would you look at that, he actually likes his date and orders an even more expensive bottle of wine than Raphael initially did and now it's a pissing contest and Charly's there like lol k at least im not paying

Which of course means after he's grumpy but then she tells him his dad is annoying and ooof that's the hottest thing ever, instant boner, they fuck in the bathroom, the waiter gets a huge tip. Charly wonders if these types of places do doggy bags for leftovers, cue Raphael dragging a hand down his face like omg she's an uncultured swine

And Tav's like stfu this beluga caviar costs 1/3 of my rent, I'm taking them home

Oh man now I'm just making up scenarios in my head, but this premise is so fun to me and I'm having so much fun reading it and so much fun imagining stuff and ----

So I'm not sure how She's Just That Girl is gonna go, but I am SO FUCKING HERE FOR IT. Like I'm feral, clawing at the bars of my enclosure, and now just because I'm in it loool

I was kicking my feet and GIGGLING and wheezing and clapping my hands like a seal loooool

No but fr I am such a HOE for the premise of Raphael manifesting in the real world and taking an interest in "you." Omg yes give me. Partly because of the potential for the sheer undiluted psychological horror. Like seriously yeah you can obviously make it hilarious, and it should be hilarious where applicable. But also consider this:

The gaslighting. Because you try to tell yourself it’s not real. This isn’t possible. It’s Raphael, a fictional character. And no one else sees him. Or rather they do see him, but they see a person, simply a person, who maybe looks like him but is utterly ordinary, absolutely human, not whatever it is you believe him to be. No one else feels him. You’re alone in this nightmare, and the isolation is choking.

There’s no way to explain it to anyone. “Hey, so, uh, Raphael from bg3 is, like, real now? And haunting me? And I think he’s winning?” Yeah, no. They’d either laugh or have you committed but tbh at this point you’d take the padded room if you thought it’d get him out of your head.

But it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop. He’s everywhere. In your shadow. In your dreams. In the flicker of a reflection that shouldn’t be smiling. You think, maybe if I just break something, something big, like a mirror, like myself, maybe I’ll snap out of it. Maybe I’ll wake up.

Because isn’t this what you wanted? A break from reality? An escape into the fictional? To be special? To perch on the devil’s lap and feel his fingers trace circles down your spine while he smiles like he knows every filthy little thought in your head? Isn’t this what you fantasized about while reading all those ridiculous fanfics? Isn’t this exactly what you begged the universe for when the monotony of dishes and day jobs felt like too much?

You didn’t want to scrub plates. You wanted to scrub blood off marble, your hands trembling, while he praised, while he called you a good girl. You didn’t want a life of bills and deadlines; you wanted magic and crown; magical, unstable orbs; and the thrill of stepping across planes into the unknown. You wanted to be noticed. Wanted to matter. And now now he’s here. Raphael himself, your shameful 2d desire. Offering it all on a silver platter.

But isn’t it funny how the fantasy didn’t tell you about the terror? The way his words would throttle your thoughts, making you question if they’re even yours anymore? How his image, and now even yours, scatters in a hundred fragments of glass, of that mirror you keep breaking again and again because you see him in it when no one else does, the same mirror that is always whole the day after. You wonder if it’s mocking you; or worse, if it’s him, stitching the pieces back together so you’ll break again. Because you will, won’t you? You’ll break it again. You’ll break yourself again.

And in the morning it's back to your part time job.

Anywhooooooo, don't mind me, just the ol' mind going crazy with ideas now that I've been fed good soup hehe

I know there’s a template for it somewhere or whatever but to be entirely honest I don’t give a flying fuckity fuck about finding it so anyway ~

*bangs on pots and pans*

WIP ✨WHENEVER✨

I nominate (and by nominate I mean tag lmao) @thessaralka as the resident solavellan expert, @heylittleriotact as fellow emmrich brainrot enthusiast, and @adinfernumadinfinitum as my raphael crack dealer aka yall embody my current three hyperfixations, congratulations, you’ve won nothing lmao

I can’t sleep and saw someone else do it so now I’m doing it too because I’m ~creative and original~

[bucksboobs]

"homophobia but make it feminist!" that's just trans exclus radfem ideology

(and contrary to popular belief, lesbians/bi women are capable of being homophobic too)

Idk if it's that TERF exclusive as a talking point but there are forms of Radical Feminist thought that see anyone but the birth mother caring for a child as an exploitation of her reproductive labor because, in a pseudo-Marxist reading of reproduction, the man is the capitalist investing capital (semen) into the factory (the womb) and labor of the factory workers (the woman) while reaping the profit (the baby). Disregarding how fucked up it is to see living children so transactionally, we can follow this logic to an equivocation of gay men who want to adopt to venture capitalists buying surplus goods to profit from work they never took part in (ignore that parenting continues after birth and is in itself labor that doesn't factor into their thinking)

This is paralleled in SWERF talking points that say that any payment for sex work renders the act r*pe because all labor is inherently exploitation (this is a real SWERF thing I've seen said) and I think these might influence each other.

I'm rambling but that's kind of where I'm at right now RE: potential adoptive gay fathers being disappointed that a mother changed her mind means they see her as a living incubator and anyone who empathizes with them is worshiping the axis of dick and don't see the woman as a person.

[hcllenic]

(DOUGLAS BOOTH, CIS MALE) - Have you seen APOLLO DEMETRIUS BLACKTHORN?  APOLLO is in HIS SENIOR year. The HISTORY MAJOR is 23 years old & is  a SCORPIO. People say HE is CREATIVE, INDEPENDENT, CALLOUS and CYNICAL.  Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog  that HE IS NOT HIS FATHER’S BIOLOGICAL SON.

content warnings for death, drug use ?? i think thats it

he’s cupid’s brother

from a very wealthy family that rose to prominence around 1921, taking power in a variety of places. kind of like the kennedys. likely cursed. apollo claims he doesn’t believe in said curse, but the truth is more that he doesn’t want to believe in the curse.

moves from highs to lows really quickly – one week he’s extremely extroverted and ready to fight god and the next he’s alone in his dorm ignoring a paper in the name of wondering if he actually has an identity beneath the one that seems to just have been formed to get his family’s attention / approval / warmth

is honestly very defensive – i don’t mean in arguments, but rather when it comes to relationships. he’s the first one to cut and run because he tends to anticipate the fall before it happens. he tells himself he doesn’t care about his siblings because he’s honestly convinced they would sell his soul to satan for one corn chip.

nothing is eternal and he really knows this – he’s constantly waiting for death to come ‘round the corner. or something else, equally dramatic.

bit of a morbid sense of humour that not everyone appreciates.

almost has this idea that the rest of his siblings are gonna have to die if he wants to end up happy and successful which he KNOWS is absolutely wrong and not productive at all but like.... that shitty luck <3

grew up, for the most part, at his parent’s estate in romania but he really liked to travel and would do so often, after he turned sixteen

he thought he’d found a loophole around the curse / bad luck / whatever u wanna call it by simply not dating but this girl he was like FULLY in love w died in a hunting accident when he was fourteen over summer break (they’d met at boarding school) and he was like. hm. fuck. could be unrelated but.... hm.

so now if he has feelings for someone he just panics. he figured out he was bi and doesn’t really have that much internalized homophobia but he DOES have internalized cursephobia. if he thinks he’s into someone regardless of their gender he’ll ghost them or start a fight w them intentionally or start deliberately trying to notice their flaws

found out he wasn’t his father’s son bc he found a letter his mom wrote to his actual father which was never sent

he burned the letter because, at the time, he was terrified of anyone else finding out. he’s pretty sure it was the only evidence.

SUCH a hedonist. he will do whatever he thinks is the most entertaining until a deadline shows up at which point it’s time for apollo to take a ridiculous amount of adderall and finish a ten page paper in three hours. they’re often riddled with spelling mistakes but they have made some good points. he HATES making up his works cited tho its like pulling teeth w him

relatively responsible driver by day but smth about the night makes him REALLY wanna speed. prone to road... exasperation?? its not rage idk

he has like... contained anger issues like he’s never directed them at anyone he just wanders off to have a fit and then returns. hnstly pretty sure he works out to let off that steam

he’s kind of intelligent but he’s also such a fucking idiot. he had no idea how to cook / do laundry / do ANY of that at all until he was alone at university and, after a week of literally just buying new clothes instead of washing the ones he owned, finally googled how to use a washing machine

absolutely not a monogamist and you should not trust him <3 that said i feel like he’s not secretive about that one particular aspect of his personality like he’ll let people know that if they want a relationship he’s not the person to be approaching which tbqh is probably there to mask how deeply he actually would love to be in a fully monogamous and faithful relationship lol he’s a secret romantic just like... doesn’t wanna get hurt. and he CLAIMS he doesn’t believe in the family curse but that’s kind of bullshit. he does. a potential simp pretending he does not have the capacity to simp

can be awful at taking advice. he’ll listen to it and understand it but he’ll disregard it anyway

very bad at being optimistic. he does feel a bit cursed, again, even if he claims he doesn’t believe in said curse. the blackthorn bad luck always feels like its nipping at his heels.

he can be sooooo dramatic. he’s obnoxious <3

but he’s also like..... relatively independent? he doesn’t like asking for help and he feels like leaning on people too heavily is a shortcoming on his part so he just. will not.

really good at group projects like for some reason he feels too guilty about not actually giving them his all and will actually put effort in whereas when it comes to his own individual projects he’ll just say fuck it (unless he’s genuinely interested)

studying history w an economics minor because he figured he should go for something more or less related to capitalism to soften the blow of running to academia

a bit sensitive about the fact that he’s not actually related to his father by blood. it makes him think about all the conflicts he’d ever had with his father post finding out about his real parentage and like... when he thinks about all of that i think he realizes that his family’s love may very well be entirely conditional and he’s afraid of that. which might be why it almost seems, smtms, like he is actively trying to push them away because he thinks if he leaves first its Fine :)

rlly likes creative ventures he just LOVES working w his hands its so soothing to him. will often be in the pottery studio after dark. he can play piano

wanted connections:

close friends (or as close as he can get) – he seems a little detached and there are def moments where he just vanishes without a trace for a week but they seem to be okay with this and he loves them for it. never feels suffocated by them at all. is occasionally afraid his luck will negatively impact them but so far, so good.

they hooked up a few times then he ghosted them and now its AWKWARD

enemies. please !!!! its unrealistic that he wld be able to exist without ppl hating him

and maybe enemies to friends / enemies to lovers tropes can happen like... i love that.

they’ve known each other for a long time and neither of them trust the other but they have spent many nights together and would probably call each other friends if asked.

they’re similarly chaotic / detached / miserable and sometimes they lean heavily on each other because they don’t really have anyone else who gets it.

they committed a crime together once

they’re attracted to each other but he goes out of his way to avoid them bc he’s like . that seems like the WORST idea. it rlly seems like he actively hates them

classmates

and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

someone he literally just argues with all the time. like thats the whole relationship

someone as obsessive as him who is willing to accompany him down history or science or whatever related rabbit holes and procrastinate with him. he wld die for them <3

[superjennysunshine]

Day 3: Building a better Pokémon Game

!

I had ideas for like a better Pokémon game so I’m gonna write them out instead of that horrific shit I wrote yesterday.

Crazy Starters: Starting out with one of your first actions in game, I think that the typing of starters should get crazier. Not that it should change from your starters being Fire, Water, and Grass types, but they should grow into crazier combos. Imagine choosing a fire starter and ending with a fire ghost, or choosing water and ending with water bug, or grass electric. Idk if any of those combos are good examples but I think crazier dual type starters would be cool.

Better Routes: I think that expanded area concepts would be cool. Most of the time the routes are just as complex as find your way from point A to point B and like that’s fine but I feel like there’s so much more that could be done. Imagine you come across route 14, a lush forest filled with the typical types of Pokémon. But there’s a level 60 Ursaring on a rampage through the forest. It’s up to you to make your way through the route silently, avoiding the massive Ursaring by hiding in tall grass and behind trees where you encounter wild Pokémon. What if the Ursaring Felled large trees or crushed stones along the way, creating paths across the route, maybe even you have to do something to insight the Ursaring to come near. Imagine route 23, a massive bridge extending across a large river. On the bridge Team Star as we’ll call them in this fake installment of Pokémon, has set up a base blocking trainers and everyday citizens from crossing the bridge unless they pay a heavy toll fee. Your trainer has to venture to the river below and fight past wild Pokémon to a ladder that leads all the to a back (or should I say bottom?) entrance and drive Team Star out from the inside of their own base. While your trainer is in the base they’ll discover Team Star’s plan was to harvest resources and Pokémon from the river below and make money to fund the nefarious operation from the tolls at the same time. I think creative routes layered throughout the journey would be super awesome. Side Quests: Sword and Shields Wild Area was great in concept but in my opinion poor in execution. Instead of a wild area, make them wild areas, large parts of the map that serve as occasional separation between routes. Put in small hamlets, buildings, ruins and caves to explore, but most importantly, side quests. Imagine you are in a town in this game, we’ll call it Oar Town for the sake of naming it, and when you’re in the town you meet an NPC with a ! over his head, so you speak to him and he says that his son is a Pokemon breeder who went out on a expedition to Trilo Cave, in Manwa Peninsula (the name of the Wild Area) So when you leave the town you travel around the Manwa Peninsula and you find Trilo Cave, you travel through the cave, breaking large boulders and fighting Wild Pokemon until you find a strong Exploud and are forced to defeat it. After you do you encounter the mans son who tells you the Exploud attacked him during the expedition, and caused a large rockfall all across the cave, trapping him inside, and that he’d been hiding from the creature with his pokemon ever since. I think things like this would not only serve to make the Pokemon Experience so much more meaningful in the end and utilize Wild Areas a lot better. Better Gyms: Gyms in Pokemon are boring. At least to me. I’ve come to realize it’s because gyms are almost entirely type based and so if you have a pokemon that’s the right type which often times you will, you’ll almost always sweep the gym every time. Gyms should not be focused on Types and instead focused on a form of Strategy. Maybe a Gym where you face different Opponents in double battles, their first pokemon will try to inflict Status’s on your pokemon and the second will attempt to capitalize on that status with attacks. You know just interesting strategies, after all Gyms in the series exist as a test of the trainers merit, but it never feels like their skill is tested when all it comes down to is fire kill grass you win. Gyms should also be longer and have maybe small story arcs of their own. Imagine a assertive and narcissistic gym leader who claims you will never beat him, so you make your way through the gym, solving the puzzles (btw Gyms should follow similar design as the route idea i had above) and battling the trainers and working your way around the strategy of the gy until finally you make it to the top. You fight the Gym leader and with every one of his pokemon you defeat he becomes angrier shouting at you in fury until you get his last pokemon below half health at which point he screams and stops the battle, commanding his pokemon to stop you at all costs. His final pokemon, lets say it’s a magnezone fires out a huge beam of electricity, not at your Pokemon, but at you. Your trainer dodges out of the way and the blast just happens to hit a conveniently exposed part of the wall. Which shuts off the power to the entire Gym. As the Magnezone keeps attacking you are forced to retreat to a broom closet at the very beginning of the gym. Now the Gym has changed. The Gym Leader sits in the lobby, blocking the front door of the gym, vowing to defeat a “lowly loathsome little Trainer Like you.” But through the crack in the doorway of the closet you notice a large vent directly above the door. So now you must sneak through the vents of the gym, making your way through closets and bathrooms, fighting trainers who eventually reveal themselves as Team Star members with the Gym Leader as their captain! You make it to the vent by the door and sneak up on the Gym Leader surprising him and initiating the final battle. When you defeat him this time, he is taken by the local authorities, and you are given the Gym badge as a symbol of a job well done. Doesn’t all that just sound fucking AWESOME!? cause it does to me.

Difficulty Modes: So obviously Pokemon is a franchised made for children, i get that, but, It’s also a franchise that has been around for YEARS with a huge adult demographic and one of the biggest complaints about current pokemon is it’s too easy and it is. So We introduce difficulty. From the very start of the game you can choose one of two difficulties; Normal, or Advanced. Normal is pokemon difficulty as it is today horrifically easy to every degree. But Advanced is more like the classics, Trainers are a bit higher level, type advantages matter a little bit less than they do on Normal, The potential for a trainers strategy to overwhelm you is alot higher, and Pokemon in gyms are changed up, giving Gyms a much more challenging feel than on normal.

anyway that’s all the ideas i have for now so Gamefreak if you’re hiring hit a bitch up lets make the Pokemon Code Red and Baja Blast dream a reality.

DAY 3 NEWS: Today’s been cool, played Xenoblade, still really fun. About to play FFXIV, know it’ll be fun. I’ve also made a plan to spice up my room a bit cause it’s kinda boring in here, it starts with buying some led lights to hang up near my ceiling! Exciting developments happening over here at Strato HQ.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN���T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.

[toytulini]

"why are people mad about AI being pushed on them when they SHOULD be mad about all the privacy erosion??"

1) plenty of us bitches are mad and annoyed about both, actually.

2) the privacy erosion has become the normalized state of existence for the average person for the last 10 fucking years at least, its snuck in, they disguise it as Convenient Features to Help You Shop Better, and thats IF they bother telling you theyre doing it, instead of just opting all your shit in without asking, its so fucking normalized that yeah, a lot of people do not bother to question it, they just sigh in resignation and go, yeah, i guess, do i even have other options? and they do, but theyre an investment of learning and time you dont have capacity for at the moment, or maybe you do but you feel like you dont bc it feels like a bigger hurdle than it is, and computer stuff is already kind of intimidating, cos man, what if you hit the wrong thing and brick your expensive ass machine? easier to just let it data harvest, you guess, it cant be THAT bad, can it? plenty of people live like this, put up with this, seek this out, its easier not to resist the privacy erosion. fucking whatever, i guess. yeah, i guess twitter i mean X, or walmart, or facebook, can just have all of my contact info and my phone number and my birthday and phone contacts and bank information and fuck it, give them my ssn while im at it. less effort later. this is just how tech has been for the last 10 yrs. no one can effectively get rage clicks on this topic anymore bc we all fucking know. it sucks and we know. what do you want me to fucking do about it? i have other shit to deal with more urgently. etc

3)

you cant turn anything on or log onto anything or go anywhere without hearing about whatever new shit theyre throwing AI at for no real reason, no one will fucking Shut Up about AI, and its Annoying, man

[theotakulifechoseme]

Be Somebody -Levi x Underground City!Fem!Reader One Shot-

This is something I wrote forever ago and posted on my Deviantart and Fanfiction.net accounts, haha. I just thought I’d share some of my old work. >_> I think this was 11 pages? idk. Enjoy.

-Mama Nidiot

   The place was just covered in filth and grime. But that is to be expected in a place like the Underground. A place where humans are trash and it was kill or be killed; not exactly the nicest place in the world for children. Her tiny arms and legs were wrapped securely around my neck and torso as I passed by overhead, while the heavy knapsack slapped against my back as I used the 3DMG to bypass the other crooks that littered this damned place, the straps biting into my skin through my dusty clothes as I scanned the ground. A silent curse slipped past my chapped lips at the sight of them. The damned Scouting Corps. were here once again.

   “Hold on tight, Cameron.” I told the 9 year old girl, feeling her grip tighten even more, as I used the 3DMG that I modified to suit me better, as we flew above their heads, before dropping to the floor and blending in with our fellow sewer rats. Holding Cameron tightly to my front, I pushed a rickety wooden door open with my hip, before closing and locking it up. “I’m back!” I shouted into the seemingly empty underground house, and pulled down the bandana I wore around the lower half of my face.

   “Mom!” a large group of four boys and one other girl shouted, running down the old wooden steps.

   “Derek, Morgan, Jon, Zack, and Lacy! What have I told you about shouting?!” I scolded them all, watching as they hung their heads in shame. I simply sighed. “Get cleaned up. Once you’re done, Zack and Morgan are on peeling duty. Jon, you, Lacy, and Derek set the table. And you,” I crouched down and pressed my lips against Cameron’s dust coated forehead, “get cleaned and some rest. I’ll get you when dinner is ready.”

   “Okay mommy.” With a quick hug, Cameron left and went upstairs towards the bedroom she shared with me and Lacy. Standing up, I cleaned my hands and face in the kitchen, scrubbing away the underground filth that clung to me like a second skin, before pulling out the second knife I kept on my person and began dicing up the bit of meat we had.

   Lacy came in and started throwing what was chopped up into a large pot, after she washed her hands again, and proceed to stir it and everything else that got tossed in. “Do you guys know why the Scouts are filling this place?” Morgan asked, throwing a peel at Zack’s face.

   “Hey, stop that, you ass!” whined the eldest boy, flicking the potato’s skin from his cheek. The room went quiet shortly after as all their gazes lingered on my back, silently willing me to answer the question.

   “The answer is obvious, isn’t it? After all, this is not the first time they looked for one of us to join their ranks.” I spoke softly, remembering when I was just nine-years-old and watched when they took them into their ranks. “Curfew is still set for you, so if I catch any of you sneaking out, Jon, you’ll be without supper for a few days.” My [color] eyes cut over to the nervous 12 year old. Derek and Morgan, the twins, were both thirteen, Lacy ten, while Zack was the oldest at fourteen, just two years younger than myself.

   After a while I walked up the steps and knelt down by Cameron’s sleeping form and shook her awake. She groggily got up and took my hand, following after like a baby duckling as I sat her down at the kitchen table, filled my tanks, and made for the door while pulling my bandana back over my nose and mouth. “You not gonna eat with us mommy?” Cameron asked, blinking her large doe eyes owlishly at my retreating back.

   “Not tonight, sweetie. Zack’s in charge until I return.” I unlocked the front door and closed it behind me, easily blending in with the group of people that surrounded me, and made my way to the main tunnel of the Underground. The closer I got did the stench of stale sweat, vomit, alcohol, sex, and death start to assault one’s nose. If it was not for the black cloth wrapped around my face, the stench would have been ten times worse than whatever I currently smelled.

   A few men I passed nodded their heads in greeting, while others moved out of my way as the heavy heels of my boots thudded against the stone floor. “Don’t do anything stupid, Widow… Ever since Kenny left, you’ve been the only form of law for us.” A beefy man stated as he grabbed my left arm, just as I was passing his hole in the wall.

   “Did you not know that black widows are venomous?” without any hesitation, I broke the larger brute’s wrist. “May that be a painful reminder to keep your hands to yourself.” The last thing he saw was the scarred palm of my left hand… In the shape of a female black widow spider.

[-][-][-]

   “What does the Scouting Corps. want with street rats?” I asked, perching myself on top of a rock that jutted out from the dirt walls, allowing one of my legs to hang off the side as I stared them down. A tall man with blond hair, ridiculously bushy brows, and sharp icy eyes looked up at me; his gaze lingering on the handles to my blades as an obvious sign that I was ready to flee at a moments notice.

   “You would be this ‘Widow’ we’ve been hearing about, correct.” I pushed back a strand of my greasy [lengtblackolor] hair, not wanting to answer the man in the bolo tie. The man took my silence as confirmation. “You and your subordinates have been causing quite an uproar in the Capital.”

   My eyes hardened at the term ‘subordinates’. “And your point being? Is this not a matter for the King’s personal collection of rats to deal with?” I growled, fingers digging into the grips of my 3DMG handles. “You should know that you are in our city. The King’s roots do not extend down to the waste that the Capital has created. Anyways, with all that glitter you carry on your person, you sure are going to attract a few weasels~” at that moment, the more ruthless thugs that littered the area that the Scouts were stationed started wandering in, causing me to take my leave.

[-][-][-]

   “Mommy!” my head snapped down from my spot above, only to spot Cameron’s dusty blonde head struggling to get out of the arms of a person with wild russet hair. Swinging back around, I planted my feet solidly in their back while taking Cam out of their arms, feeling her cling desperately to my thin person. “Mommy!” she sobbed, soaking the shoulder of my [color] button-down.

   The person groaned under my feet, and started shifting enough that forced me to get off their back, leaving two boot marks on their jacket… on the Wings of Freedom. “Tch. Of course…” I gently rocked Cameron, making her cries slow down to a soft whimper and occasional hiccough. The person with wild russet hair got to their knees, rubbed their head, before looking around.

   “Where’d the kid go?! I had so many questions to ask her! ARGH!” without a single care about the dirt and other filth that littered the Underground, the person – woman – flopped back down and started dramatically sobbing, not caring the least bit about her cracked glasses.

   “Oi! Stupid glasses! Shut the hell up!” her cries were getting on my nerves, withering them away to nothing, as I stepped on her head in hopes of using the cold ground to muffle the damn sound. I had zero tolerance for others whining about shit.

   “Mmph! Mmph, mmph, mmmm!” they flailed again, pushing my foot off her head as she turned to face me. Cameron nuzzled herself closer to my side and proceeded to suck on her thumb, a bad habit that she has yet to break, as the woman adjusted her cracked glasses. “Whoa! You’re the bandit that danchou wants to meet! Widow, isn’t it?!”

   Grabbing her head, I slammed my forehead against hers. “Oi, stupid glasses, keep your damn voice down! You’re not Above, so don’t act like you are!” Even with our heads pressed so close together, she proceeded to nod happily like an excited puppy. “Tch, you are a pain. You’re probably the type that’d still follow even if I used my Gear, huh?” again, she nodded.

   “I’m Hanji Zoe! Squad leader and person in charge of Titan research!” I simply scoffed and turned around. Hanji proceeded to follow me like the excited puppy she seemed to be.

[-][-][-]

   “I’m home…” I called out flatly, my [color] gaze cutting over to Zack when he and the others made an appearance. Setting the dusty blonde child down, I closed the gap between me and the teenage boy, pulled him down to my short height, and proceeded to headbutt him right between the eyes. “Idiot! I cannot leave you in charge for less than two hours without you fucking up! Cameron could have been hurt, or worse, she could have been killed!” with each word, I kicked him hard in the side, causing the others to wince at his punishment.

   “We had our hands full with Jon! He kept trying to get out so he could start going to those Fight Clubs again in the Lower District, mom!” Derek and Morgan pipped up, pointing at the guilty boy. I simply punched him in the back of the head.

   “OW! That hurt ma!”

   “That’s the point, brat! Use your brain next time, not your damn fists!” Jon pouted, rubbing at the forming lump on his skull. “Lacy, take Cam upstairs and get ready for bed. Both of you.” She nodded, her short ginger hair sticking up every which way, and grabbed Cameron’s free hand as the both ventured upstairs. With that done, I plopped down at the kitchen table, throwing my legs over the corner and crossing them, as I gestured to an empty spot for Hanji. She sat down, her wide eyes flittering around the room, trying to take in everything at once. “What exactly do the Scouting Corps. want with me?”

   Her eyes zoned in on me once I started speaking. “Danchou wanted to talk to you about joining us. Seems you and your family have made quite a name for yourselves, however it seems that you have his interest out of all of you.” She pointed at me. I appreciate Hanji’s use of ‘family’ over ‘subordinates.’

   I sighed, pulling my bandana down. “If he is only looking to recruit me, then he best leave. I have my family to take care of…”

   “Mom, think this through…” Zack spoke softly into my ear. “Just play that game with them. If you win, you stay, if they win, you go.” Waving him off, I allowed my feet to fall loudly back onto the wooden floor.

   “How about we place a wager. Us of the Underground like a good bet. If I can escape and/or evade all the Scouts that are currently here, you will all go away and I shall stay here. However if I am caught and cannot escape in the time limit, I will keep my word and join you. Take it or leave it.”

   “What kind of time limit are we talking about?” she inquired, leaning her elbows on the creaky wooden table top.

   “Does two hours sound good to you?”

   Hanji stood, her palms flat against the top, as she nodded. “I’ll have to confirm with danchou, but you have a deal, Widow.”

   “[full name].”

   “What?”

   “My name. It is [full name].”

   With a small smile, she nodded and left.

   Sighing heavily, I casted Zack a side long glance. “Let us just hope that your damn plan works, idiot…”

[-][-][-]

   I stood in front of the whole Scouting Corps. waiting, my bandana pulled over my face while my oily [color] hair was pulled back and tied with a string. ‘It’s starting to feel really nasty…’ I inwardly cringed at remembering that I haven’t bathed in a few days to save water for cooking and the others, as disgusting as that might be, it was one of the major problems most had to deal with while living in the Underground.

   Hanji happily bounce before me, a large grin spread across her sun kissed face. “Widow! You came!”

   Scoffing, I crossed my arms over my small chest. “I gave my word, didn’t I? What kind of example would I be to my family if I broke a vow?” I stressed the word ‘family’ once I caught sight of Mr. Forehead-mustache.

   She nodded in understanding. “Anyways, about your offer… Danchou agreed to it~”

   “Ah…” I gestured to the others to come over. “Derek, you and Morgan go to the Lower District and tell the dumb-fucks down there that if they so much as think of causing trouble, that they’ll be getting a ‘Lacy Surprise’.” I tossed a hooked blade towards them both, which they caught and grinned devilishly at what they could possibly do, and nodded before running off. “Jon, you’re in charge of Lacy and Cam… Zack…”

   “Yeah?” the tall auburn haired teen asked, coming forward.

   “Still have that watch your daddy gave you?” he nodded, pulling out the silver pocketwatch. “You’ll be time-keeper. Understood?” he popped open the cover, signaling that he was ready. “On your signal… danchou…” I purred sarcastically, pulling out the handles for my 3DMG. At the slightest twitch of his dominant hand did I react, shooting the cables and fleeing from the Scouts that chased me through the chaos of the Underground.

[-][-][-]

   Nearly two hours have passed, as it started getting down to the last ten minutes, and I stood in a dark alleyway, trying to catch my breath. Ejecting one of my tanks, I shook it a bit, hearing the gas inside, alerting me to the fact I only had ¼th of a tank left. “Fuck.” My head snapped up, seeing a figure wearing Maneuver Gear at the mouth of the alley. I stepped back as they stepped forward, my eyes darting around for any form of escape.

   Locating one, I shot one of my cables off, hearing the Scout do the same just a hair trigger second after I did. Mere seconds later I felt someone tackle me out of the air, forcing our cables to release as we tumbled to the hard ground. I groaned, head throbbing from where it made contact with the solid floor – of fucking course it is solid [Name]! – as something cold brushed against my collarbone. My left hand shot to my hip, retracting a flick blade, and pressing the sharp point against their right femoral artery.

   Seems they had the same thought in mind as they pressed their own knife against my carotid artery. [color] clashed against stormy gray orbs as I stared at the person above me. ‘Of fucking course it would be him of all people…’ Resigning myself to my fate, I placed my weapon away, and just laid there under his person. His heavy lidded eyes read his confusion, causing me to smirk, as I looked away, and caught sight of Zack. My heart started hurting, as I saw the tears he shed drip off the point of his chin, before he scrubbed them away with his sleeve.

   “T-Time!” he shouted, alerting others of the Corps. that it was all over…

[-][-][-]

   Ten years had passed since then, and not a day goes by that I do not miss my family. “Bun-taichou [Name]!” I turned, seeing one of the rookies – Jean, I think his name was – call out to me while struggling to maintain his balance under the large stack of documents he held in his arms.

   I quickly grabbed the top half, lessening his load, and quirked an eyebrow at him. “Yes?” his cheeks flushed a dusty pink as I continued to stare up at him. Due to crappy genetics and being malnourished most of my life, I was the shortest person in the Scouting Corps. at the shitty height of four foot-nine inches. However, unlike before where I was mistaken for a little boy, in my time as a Scout I had… filled out… a lot.

   Because of this, most rookies seem to developed this odd crush on me, until training comes around; earning me the nickname of “Satan’s Mother” by nearly everyone. “Err… Heichou wants to speak with you.”

   “Ah…” I gave him back the documents and straightened my uniform a bit, fixing the leather gloves I wore along with the black bandana I wore around my neck, before turning on my heels, heading towards Levi’s office.

   Knocking, I waited politely for an answer. “Name and business…” his deep voice commanded.

   “[Name] and you asked for me, stupid.” Rolling my [color] eyes, I pushed open the door and promptly entered, taking a seat directly across from his desk, and crossed my legs.

   He shuffled and straightened a few documents after shooting me a look, before resting his chin on his laced fingers. “I’ve noticed how distracted you have been lately, [Name]. That is unlike you, and we cannot afford any type of distractions…”

   This was Levi’s own way of asking what was wrong. I sighed, turning to stare out his open window. “I miss them. That’s all…” he quirked an eyebrow at me. “Also, an anniversary is coming up. After 10 years, it seems everything is starting to overflow.”

   “What… kind of anniversary?” Levi hesitantly asked, possibly feeling a bit out of place.

   I attempted a sardonic smile. “Forgive me. I tend to forget that no one here knows everything about me. It is my actual daughter’s death anniversary.” I looked down at my leather-clad hands. “You, of all people, know how bad it can get there. Children are the main targets for anything, and I just happen to be one of those targets. One of the King’s prized rats decided to… well…” he understood what I meant. “I was probably 9 or 10. I don’t know, the years blend together anymore that keeping track is troublesome. Its a painful process, giving birth, but knowing that there will be someone to love you unconditionally makes all the pain worth it. However, Allison died five months after she was born. She got sick, and there was nothing I nor anyone else could do for her.”

   I wrung my hands. “It was around that time that I met Zack and his father. I struck a deal with them. I would take Zack and raise him like my son, and in return his father would kill one person for me. I accepted and he took care of my personal monster. After that, I started taking in kids that had trouble adjusting to the Underground, and all that jazz. I became their mother, they became my kids, and we made a living for ourselves… I have not seen my family in ten years, and I miss them dearly…”

   I tensed, feeling Levi roughly grab my wrist and hauled me up to my feet. His steely, near silver, gray hooded gaze stared down into my own [color] bewildered ones. “We have a few days off, [Name]. You should use them to see your family again.”

   Levi released my wrist and turned on his heel, keeping his back facing towards me. “Heichou, would… would you like to visit them with me?” His gunmetal gray eyes pierced me as he cast a simple look back at me from over his shoulder, silently questioning my reason for my request. “The reason should be obvious… Mainly to someone like you, Levi.” Crossing my arms over my midsection, I smirked softly. “I know a few routes to get there that you would never believe, too.”

[-][-][-]

   I pulled my old bandana up, over the lower half of my face, as we descended the steps of a bakery’s cellar, only gaining access after showing the aging owner the brand of a female Black Widow on my left palm, before finding a trapdoor. Grabbing the rusted handle, I started pulling it up, making it kick up dust as it revealed another set of handmade dirt steps. “Tsk, disgusting…” the Corporal grunted, waving a hand in front of his face to clear the air of the dust particles.

   “It’s the Underground, heichou. Nothing is clean down there.” I stated, lighting a lantern and went down the stairs first, listening as the dirt crunched under the souls of our boots as the stale smell of vomit, urine, alcohol, and garbage started to surround us both. “Ugh… I do not miss this stench in the least bit!” I exclaimed loudly as I pinched my nose closed.

   It took us probably ten, fifteen, minutes to reach the main area of the Underground, causing both of us to stare at the changes that have been made since either of us last step foot in this place. As we wandered through the grimy streets, our cloaks drawn tight around us to obscure our Maneuver Gear, did a filthy hand shot out, tightly grasping my right wrist as the person held me above, causing me to drop the lantern.

   “Why ain’t ya a purdy thin’…” the disgusting fat slob crooned darkly, eyeing me up and down. “Ya seem to have somethin’ shiny attached t’ ya, too…”

   I narrowed my [color] gaze in annoyance as I dangled from my arm. “Know your place, dipshit!” I shouted, biting the hem of my leather glove that covered my left hand and removed it, before ramming my palm against his jaw. The idiot let me go as he staggered back, rubbing at his jaw. Stepping forward, I jammed my heel against his manly-bits, and proceeded to show him the brand on my palm. “Fuck off before I show you why Black Widows are venomous.” The man quickly scampered off as I pulled my glove back on.

   “Even after ten years, your scar still seems to scare people.” Levi commented, having watched the whole thing instead of helping.

   “Yeah, well, when you have to clean up the messes of Derek and Morgan, the Sadistic Pair, you happen to become well known for having two kids that’ll do anything when bored.” I shrugged, continuing on my way. “Then there was Jon. He and Cameron were the runts, but he had a fighter’s spirit, that kid does. If someone wasn’t watching him constantly, he’d make his way towards the Lower District for Fight Clubs. I honestly do not remember a time of Jon coming back empty handed, either.”

   I chuckled. “Then there’s Lacy, the second youngest. As tricky as a fox and just as pretty, but if you so much as try to touch her in a way she does not like, consider your balls forfeited.” The stoic Lance Corporal winced at the thought. “She keeps a hooked blade strapped to her thigh, just for cases like those. We’ve all come to call it the ‘Lacy Surprise.’” Smiling, I remembered when the boys came up with that one. “Zack was my protégé, as he was with me the longest, while Cameron was our lookout. She has unnaturally sharp eyes. Her eyes are probably as sharp as Mike’s nose.”

   With all this talking I was doing, I nearly bypassed my old home. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I slowly opened the door, fearing of what I would see on the other side. Probably seeing how hesitant I was, Levi set an encouraging hand on my shoulder, I nodded back gratefully and pushed open the old wooden door. “I’m home!” I called out, just waiting for any signs of life.

   Footsteps could be heard running down the stairs as a tall man with an auburn colored sea-urchin on his head appeared, blinking his green eyes in confusion at us both, while a set of identical sandy blond haired men stood on either side of him with light Jade green eyes. A stocky, well built, young man with a wild mane of mahogany that fell down his neck, and slightly in his rust brown eyes, stood on the stairs. Peaking over his shoulder was a girl with bright blue eyes and choppy ginger hair, a white cloth mask obscuring her lower face, but I could still see how pale she was. “M-mom?” the identical young men were the first to speak.

   Awkwardly, I spread my arms open. “Do I really look that bad?” they both ran over and squished me between them both in a tight hug, causing two others to join in. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed the only one that hadn’t joined in was Jon.

   “What are you waiting for, dumb-fuck? A written invitation? Come and join the group hug!” Lacy scolded, casting a glare at the only one that had not greeted me yet.

   He shuffled down the steps before meeting up with me. His thin lips pressed into an even thinner line before he wrapped me up in his arms, easily picking me up off my feet.

[-][-][-]

   To say the least, it was nerve wrecking as we all sat around the tiny table that we seem to have outgrown, to the point I actually had to sit on Levi’s lap just to make room for everyone. However, my mind did not linger on that fact at all. I noticed that someone was missing from our family reunion. I was afraid to ask, but I did so anyways. I asked the one question I ever regret asking… “where’s Cameron?”

   The air grew tense as everyone stopped talking. Lacy started looking at her lap, while the twins fidgeted in their seats. Jon looked neutral, while Zack’s face contorted into one of pain. “Sh-she died… four years ago…” the young man muttered lowly.

   I felt like like I just got the air knocked out of me as I cupped my mouth, feeling my tears drip onto my wrist. “Oh… so now you care?” my head snapped up, [color] meeting rust brown in a startled clash.

   Morgan quickly got to his feet first and grabbed Jon by the front of his shirt. “You little shit! That’s no way to talk to mom! Of course she cares! Why wouldn’t she care that one of her kids died?!”

   “She left us, you piss ant! Tell me, how is that carrying for us?! She isn’t even our real mother!”

   I knew it… I should not have came back…

   “Jon—”

   “Don’t fucking ‘Jon’ me, Zack! Or are you just that damn blind to overlook the fact that she replaced us! [Name] doesn’t give a damn about us. Simple as that.”

   … … …

   “Oi, shit stain…” I hiccoughed softly, hearing the Lance Corporal speak for the first time since entering my old home. “How the fuck would you know if [Name] replaced you?” his voice was calm and even as he spoke to the younger man. “You are full of shit, you know. That’s probably why you have such shitty eyes, too. Your mother, here, has been worrying about you fuckers for the last ten years—”

   “Yet she never made an effort to see—”

   “Don’t fucking interrupt me, shit stain.” Levi’s voice took on a darker tone to it. “[Name] nearly got herself killed because she worried more about a worthless asshole like you than herself.” His fingers curled into my hip, making me remember my own carelessness that costed me a dislocation. “In my opinion, she should not waste anything for a little shit like you. Boohoo, the person who took you in had left, because she honored an agreement she made. You know what would have happened instead? The MP’s would have gotten her instead, and she would be rotting away in a cell somewhere like an animal. You honestly think those bastards would give a shit about someone from here? A female from the Underground no less?” the man sneered at Jon as my tears ran down face face quickly.

   “What’s with all this noise? I tryin’ ta take a nape…” a soft voice spoke from behind the two – previously – fighting men. “Some’mun has a bad potty mouth, too.”

   A child, a little girl to be exact, with thin dirty blonde hair stood there, wiping the sleepy dust from her hazel eyes. “Good going, ya dingus.” Zack smacked Jon upside the head before picking up the small child.

   Zack muttered something that only the child could hear, as I watched on, feeling myself stiffen once her eyes landed on me. A chill ran down my spine, taking in the familiarity of them. “Grammy?” her sleepy voice muffled by the thumb she sucked on.

   The auburn haired man handed the tiny child to me, giving me the chance to cradle her in my arms as she rested her head against my shoulder, facing towards the Lance Corporal. “Before some gobshite interrupted me, earlier, I was gonna tell you the reason why Cameron passed away.” Zack casted a scathing glare at Jon, causing the younger man to cringe, appearing smaller than he really was, before redirecting his gaze back to me. “That little girl is why Cam’s not with us. She gave up her life to bring her into the world… However, before she passed, Cam mentioned that it was something you would have done. That you would give your life for your kids… And that’s why this gobshite is pissed.” To make a point, the auburn haired man slapped Jon upside his head.

   “Grumpy looks grumpy…” the tiny child mumbled around her thumb, looking directly at Levi. “Grumpy needs a bananer… they make you happy.”

   My [color] eyes widen as I turned, facing the dead-panned Lance Corporal who seemed to be having a staring contest with the little four year old. The child was not going to back down and pointedly kept staring back. “Grumpy?” I inquired.

   “Grammy,” she pointed up at me, “Grumpy,” her finger now pointed directly at Levi’s face. It finally clicked as to what she was talking about, causing my whole face to redden at the thought.

   “N-No, no, no, no! That’s Levi-heichou, not Grandpa! Heichou!”

   “Grumpy.”

   “You are an embarrassment, child!” I covered my face with my hands, groaning in frustration over how adamant she was.

   “Pfftt…” the twins started snickering, looking at our odd threesome mischievously. “Allison’s deadset on mom’s superior being grandpa… Is that what they teach you in the military?”

   “What… was that?” I asked ominously, slowly turning to look at them both as I cracked my knuckles. “Excuse me.” I sat the girl on Levi’s lap in my place as I stood, making my way around the table towards the two idiots. “Mind repeating that you little fuckers?!” before they had a chance to respond did I grab them both by their collars, dragging them out of the house. “You two talk big, but can you back your shit up?” they lay on their backs, staring up at me, before scrambling to their feet. “Show me what you’ve learned in the last ten years, kids…”

[-][-][-]

   Derek and Morgan groaned as forming bruises littered their forms, and I dusted off my clothes while licking the split lip they gave me. “Still have a long ways to go, children.” They said nothing, just narrowing their Jade colored eyes at me from their spots on the ground.

   “Are you—”

   “— thinking what—”

   “— I’m thinking?” they finished together, quickly catching their breaths as coy grins curled their lips. “Of course you are, brother!” the twins got to their feet, ignoring whatever bit of grime or blood that clung to them, as they each threw an arm over my shoulders. “We have decided, mother!”

   “And what have you two spawns of Satan decided?”

   “Well…”

   “… You might not like it…”

   “But we have decided that—”

   “— we’ll join the military with you!”

   “What?!”

   “Told you that you wouldn’t like it.” Derek and Morgan dead panned, running their free hands through their sandy blond waves.

   “Of course I don’t, you idiots!”

   “Think of it logically, mom! We’re the perfect, and we do mean perfect, team. We don’t need to talk to inform the other what is going on, and our attacks are in perfect sync. Throw in the fact that we love to fight dirty if it means us winning the fight, then you got a good set of soldiers.”

   Turning, I stared at the others that clogged up the door. “Any of you share this fucked up idea?” without any hesitation, Lacy’s hand shot up in the air before smacking Jon, who proceeded to slowly raise his own hand. Zack just rubbed the back of his neck as he shook his head in the negative.

   “One of us would have to look after Ally, as well as look after any other kids of the Underground, so it’d be best if it was me.”

   “Oh, is that so?” the auburn haired man flinched, noticing the glint my eyes took. “So the rest of you think you have what it takes to make it as a Scout, hm?” Lacy and the twins nodded furiously. “Heichou, do you think my brats have a chance in the Corps.?”

   The vertically challenged man scuffed, carrying the toddler under his arm as if she was nothing more than documents. “I doubt they’d be able to take down Springer or Blouse.” I chuckled in agreement with his statement.

   “Mother! How cruel of you to doubt your own children!” whined the twins, grabbing my legs.

   “Get the hell off me. You aren’t 13 anymore!”

   “Brother! Mom’s sexually frustrated!” they cried as one, clinging to each other as my face heated up.

   “Why you—!”

   “Instead of killing them, [Name], wouldn’t it be best to make them eat their words?”

   I looked back at my Corporal. “You honestly think Erwin would accept?”

   “Tch. I do not give a shit if Eyebrows accepts or not. Your brats would provide some entertainment back at HQ.”

   “Grumpy’s mouth is full of poo…” chimed Allison cheerfully. A tiny grin curled the man’s thin lips as his gun metal gay eyes slid down to her.

[-][-][-]

   Erwin was no where in sight when we returned, mainly with the six extra bodies that we had following behind us. The young cadets seem to take notice first, as they all came scurrying over to look at the unknown faces. “Let’s see…” I sat Allison down as I strolled up and down the line. “You,” I pushed Jean forward, “you,” Eren, “you,” Mikasa, “you,” Connie, “and you.” I finished while pushing Ymir forward. “Jean paired with Lacy, Mikasa with Jon, Derek and Connie, while Ymir with Morgan.”

   “Er… what about me, Bun-taichou?” inquired Eren, pointing up at himself.

   “You, my dear cadet, will be paired with my protégé Zack.” I gestured, watching as the teen’s sea-green eyes trailed up, widening at how tall the younger man was. Zack was pushing closer to Mike’s height, though he was still a bit shorter than the man with the habit to sniff people. “The rest of you will be watching, got that? As for you that’ll be sparring… Word of warning, my kids won’t go easy on you and will use any underhanded tactic they can. First up is Lacy and Jean.”

   I picked up Allison again and leaned back against the wall next to Levi, grinning ever so slightly as Lacy pulled off her face mask, tucking it away in her coat pocket before tossing it away. Jean watched her, looking wary as she slowly walked around him, a coy grin curling her pearl colored lips as her skirt fluttered around her legs. ‘The fox is coming out to play.’ I thought, just as Lacy slowly glided the tip of her tongue over her upper lip, drawing Jean’s eyes there.

   “Bad move.” Allison commented, watching Lacy zip forward, driving her knee into his stomach before flipping back, lightly bouncing on the balls of her feet as she shook out her arms. Jean looked back up at her, yet his gaze dragged back down to her slender legs. “Stupid!” the ginger haired woman’s grin slipped, showing her annoyance as she stomped over and grabbed the sandy-brown haired teen by the collar of his uniform, bringing them face to face.

   “Oi, horse-face! Take me seriously, dammit!”

   “She said the magic word…” I chuckled, watching as Jean smacked her hands away and took a fighting stance, looking a bit more serious than he did before. Lacy nodded in approval, holding a loose fist out in front of her at shoulder level, while her other hand was left open at hip level.

   Punches were thrown and blocked, some hitting while others missed their marks, before Lacy fisted his uniform collar, planting her left foot into his stomach, and throwing him over her head. Without waiting, she flipped herself over and straddled his chest, placing the hooked blade that was hidden under her short skirt against the underside of his jaw. “Hm… Now that I got a better look at ya… yer pretty cute… For a guy with a horse face, that is.” Getting up, Lacy dusted off her legs and skirt, leaving Jean on the dirt ground, and smiled at me. “So… How was I, mom?”

   “Heichou?”

   “She’s adequate… for a shitty brat, that is.”

   Lacy puffed out her cheeks and walked off. “Morgan, Ymir, up front!”

   Morgan whistled lowly. “Hello Miss Leggy~” he smirked, standing across from her. “What do you think, Brother?”

   “Eh… I’d give her a 6/10. Not our type, though.” Morgan nodded in agreement.

   Ymir and Morgan’s fight ended in a draw, much to the twins’ amusement, as I gestured towards Derek and Connie. “Try and keep the trash talk to a minimum, okay?”

   “Like the bald look, but personally it’s not my style.” Derek remarked, pulling his sandy blond hair back into a half ponytail, allowing a few strands frame his charming face, as he cracked his knuckles. “After all, the ladies love having something to hold on to.” He chuckled suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows a bit to help get his point across.

   Even after the beating I gave him, Derek was able to go easy on the shorter teen. In a matter of minutes, after the older man stopped playing around, did he get behind Connie a pulled him into a wrenching full Nelson, nearly making the younger teen pass out from the lack of blood circulating to his brain. Before Connie passed out from the hold, Derek released him and easily picked him up and carried him over to a tree by the other cadets. Not waiting for my signal, Jon strode forward just before Mikasa.

   “You know, right now would be a great time to lay down bets.” I muttered, looking at Levi from the corner of my eyes.

   Ally watched us both intently, seeing as the two have yet to start their spar, and waited for the man’s answer. “Twenty coin, and a week of cleaning duty, says your shit stain son and the brat tie.”

   I hummed in response. “Okay. Twenty coin, and you actually sleeping, says that Jon’ll come out on top.” We shook on it to seal the deal. The twenty-two year old man stood his ground, waiting as a gentle breeze blew through, ruffling his mahogany mane. Adjusting her stance just a bit, Mikasa launched herself into action, aiming a swift kick to Jon’s side. He took the kick, and all of her punches, while blocking his head, his rust-brown orbs following every movement the oriental girl made like a hawk.

   Mikasa swung, aiming to break through his defenses to hit him in the face, only to end up with her arm trapped by his own and pinning it to the side; thus bringing her closer for a headbutt to the bridge of her nose. Jon moved, sliding his hip behind her, using her trapped arm as leverage, and threw Mikasa down. The other cadets gasped in surprise at the take-down, however the red scarf-wearing girl did not stay down for long, as she quickly got back to her feet and charged at Jon. The mahogany haired man blocked her punches, grabbed her scarf, and tossed her back.

   If looks could kill, the young male would have been six feet under. From where I stood, I could easily see the young female’s jaw locking up, her piercing gaze locked on Jon’s challenging one. She came after him again, aiming to swipe his feet from under his stocky form, which worked, making the man fall on his ass. “Tsk.” Jon flipped back, barely dodging an axe kick to the top of his head, and got to his knees. Tensing up, he launched himself forward, digging his shoulder right under her breasts, and tackled her to the ground.

   The two rolled around, trying to one up the other and pin them, but it didn’t last long when Jon got his knee between her legs. “Jon don’t—!” without listening to my warning, he kneed Mikasa hard between the legs as he grabbed hold of the lapels of her coat, and headbutted her once more, allowing him to come out on top. Mikasa gasped loudly, curling into the fetal position with her hands between her legs. Setting Allison down, I stormed over to the man who sat on his knees, heavily panting, as he wiped away sweat from his brow. “You idiot!” he flinched, just as my boot made contact with the side of his head. Grabbing a handful of his sweat-drenched hair, I pulled him up and kneed him in the jaw, sending Jon backwards.

   “What the hell, mom! You didn’t set any rules, meaning it was fair game!” he shouted, wiping away the blood that trailed from his nose.

   “When have I ever allowed Fight Club moves, though, Jon?!” Jon bit his tongue but scowled at me in return. “Now you’re gonna get off your sorry ass, pick up Mikasa – gently might I add – and take her to the infirmary like the gentlemen that you should be, or so help me I’ll kill you myself! Do I make myself clear young man?”

   “Y-Yes mother!” he stammered, scrambling to his feet and gently picked up Mikasa bridal style, his ears turning a bright pink, as he lowly asked for directions. Allison, seeing this as a perfect chance to explore, chased after them both and seem to be trying to bombard the Asian girl with questions.

   “A-Are you okay, Squad Leader [Name]?” Eren asked, coming to my side.

   “I’m fine, I’m fine. Though I won’t say the same for you…” the tanned boy gulped in response, turning to face the ever intimidating Zack. “Seeing as I have to set some ground rules here… No hits below the belt, as in no intentional nut-shots,” I casted both boys a look, “and no bladed weapons of any kind.” I held a hand out towards Zack, who simply shrugged, and removed a knife from his right boot and a dagger from the left, and placed them in my hand. Seeing my knowing look, Zack took off the one strapped to his right hip, handing it over, followed by the one strapped to his back, before pushing up both of his sleeves to show two combat knives strapped to both of his inner forearms.

   Eren’s sea-green eyes widen in silent awe at all the blades, while I gestured to the older of the two’s boots again. Zack snorted and kicked the heel of his right boot, forcing the hidden blade to pop out, and gave it to me. “That’s all of them, I promise.”

   “Oh, I know. Seven has always been your lucky number.” I returned back to my spot next to the Lance Corporal, and proceed to cross my arms. Without saying anything, Levi placed the gold coins he owed in my waiting hand. Eren did not look too sure as he took his fighting stance, his sea-green eyes focused on Zack warily. “Begin whenever you’re ready!”

   Zack’s large size was an advantage, but also a disadvantage, and against someone like Jaeger, his size was a huge handicap. Eren happened to be light on his feet, unlike the auburn haired man, and used that to aid him as they sparred. Very rarely did Zack land a solid punch or kick on the younger male, while said male was able to finally knee him in the mid-thigh, bringing the giant down into a panting mess. “Okay… OW! What the hell is your knee made of, kid? Rocks?”

   I whistled lowly, patting Eren on the back as I passed (though I was tempted to pat him on the ass just to see how he’d react, however I will leave that up to Hanji to do), and toed the area on Zack’s thigh. He winced in pain as I stared. “The little shit dead-legged you! Of all the damn moves you let him do, you let him fucking dead-leg you! Haha, and was a Grade 2 dead-leg!” I teased, watching as his face heated up into a bright red. “Oi, help your moronic brother up!” I pointed at the twins, who nodded and helped Zack to his feet while sickeningly sweet smiles, “show these idiots the infirmary.” The German boy saluted and escorted all three into HQ. Lacy, on the other hand, was too busy talking up a storm with a slightly flustered Jean.

   “Was that enough entertainment for you, Heichou?”

   “Tch. Your shitty brats might have what it takes to be apart of the Scouting Corps… If they can use 3DMG as well as they can brawl.”

   I hummed lowly with a soft smile. “What is going on here?” turning around, I spotted Erwin walking over to us.

   “Whoops. What now?”

   “Levi, [Name], what is going on here?” Erwin demanded, standing in front of us.

   “A friendly bet?” I offered, making Levi snort.

   “Calm the hell down, Erwin. You look like you’re ready to take a huge shit.” Commented Levi, looking as stoic as ever.

   “I would like some answers, Levi. Just who are these people?”

   Humanity’s Strongest pointed a thumb at me. “Why don’t you ask her. They are her brats after all.”

   Mr. Forehead-mustache quirked one of the majestic sides of said mustache as he turned an icy gaze towards me, silently waiting for my answer. Shooting a quick glare at the shorter man, to which he replied with a smug smirk, I gave the Commander an awkward smile. “You remember the kids I used to look after, right?” he nodded, “you see, it started like this…” I began, telling Erwin what happened, leaving out the embarrassing bit of being forced to sit on Levi’s lap, and that my granddaughter thinks that he’s her grandpa… “which leads us to this moment in time. Moreover, no matter how much I do not like the idea, they are all grown up and can make their own choices. In addition, from what they’ve show us, they’d make great soldiers.”

   “We would have to test them out on the 3D Maneuver Gear, but from what you have just told me, I do not see any reason to not permit them to join our ranks. I trust yours and Levi’s judgment, [Name]…” Erwin told us both, just as a teasing grin curled his lips. “However, about this bet you two made… How do you honestly plan on getting Levi to sleep more than 3 hours, [Name]?”

   “Well, since I joined, I sorta have filled out. Women are known as walking pillows… I am a woman, he’s a man… Simple math, isn’t it?” I replied innocently, watching as heichou’s ears turned a bright red as he scoffed softly at my words. This display caused Erwin to chuckle as he left us alone. Sliding my [color] gaze over, I smiled softly at the flustered man. “You do know I willingly gave up that day, right?”

   “Why did you?”

   Giggling, I shrugged my shoulders. “Who knows? Maybe it was because this guy I happened to look up to – no matter how short he is compared to other men – and is pretty handsome, was straddling my thighs at the time…” his stormy gray orbs widened a fraction, “maybe it also had something to do with the fact that we street rats, the ones casted out like garbage originally, can actually make a name for ourselves. To actually be somebody… Both of those reasons are why I willingly gave up.” Chuckling, I noticed how bright Levi’s ears were. “I guess what I’m trying to also say is that… I really fucking love you, too, you neurotic clean freak dumbass.”

   “Where the—!”

   “Oh please! You awkward fucker! No one, not even Hanji or Mike, noticed that I was missing my family. In addition, you giving me advice to see them, and agreeing to come with me on top of that? You must either really like and/or love them, or you finally gone batshit crazy. The Levi Ackerman that I know doesn’t do shit for nobody unless they are important to him.” I stood on the tips of my toes as my fingers wrapped around his white cravat. “Just admit you are an awkward shit when it comes to expressing yourself, and that you love me, even if I’m filthy.”

   “You are not filthy…” he commented harshly.

   “Are you sure about that, heichou? I can be a real filthy woman when it calls for it~”

   In mere seconds I found myself slung over his broad shoulder, looking directly at his nice ass, as he carried me into HQ. “Oh? Then I must clean you thoroughly, then, to rid you of such filth [Name].”

   “Is that a threat, Levi-heichou?” I asked, pushing my [color] strands out of my face.

   “No. It’s a damn promise.”

[-][-][-]

   Next morning, when Eren walked into the dining hall, he stared curiously at the Lance Corporal, who, dare the Titan shifter say it, looked normal… Well, as normal as a vertically challenged clean freak could, while everyone else looked miserable. “Why do you all look half dead?” the German teen asked, questioning the newest ‘members’ of the Scouts and the other cadets, taking note that the little girl was over with Squad Leader [Name] and Corporal. He thought he heard the child call the stoic man “grumpy”.

   Jean groaned, glaring at the other teen. “You sure are fucking lucky, Jaeger, being able to sleep in the basement.”

   “How the hell is that ‘lucky’, horse-face?”

   “You didn’t have to hear them,” the long-faced teen pointed at the two formally mentioned adults, “going at it like rabbits all night! It is probably worse than hearing your own parents having sex!”

   “Squad Leader [Name] just so happens to be a screamer…” Connie added, shuddering at the thought.

   The twins giggled to themselves, while the rest of [Name]’s family looked ill. “When you put it that way, I’m glad I do sleep in the basement.”

[hagiographically]

Could you talk more about Stanford stereotypes regarding literally anything (idk majors?) bc they way how you explain them is literally so funny/good

lmao aw ily, you can always come to me if u want my opinion related to anything stanford (stereotypes about dorms, sports teams, greek life, a cappella ??) because i have A Lot Of It - i only wish i was more integrated with the school cuz most of my opinions are hearsay instead of personal experience

major stereotypes….hmm thats hard cuz there are So Many majors but i can just go with the most common ones and group some together, etc

engineering:

aero/astro - small department full of space nerds, most of them are in SSI, drones, i personally consider them very brainy and if i were better at engineering i would be aero/astro cuz i think it’s the next frontier. there should definitely be more women in it for sure

bioe - my ex was bioe, they’re a bunch of nerds but they have good enough hearts. they care about curing diseases and shit

CS - oh boy. ohhhhhh boy. here we fuckin go. honestly CS is barely even a sterotype at stanford cuz its such a dominant culture…..the people who decide what stereotypes even are, are probably CS. it’s gotten to the point where if i meet someone and they aren’t CS it’s worth noting. it’s gotten to the point where, in my psych/literature/communications/education classes, i expect the other people to be CS. i have so many Opinions on CS Boys because CS Boys are such!!!!a!!!type!!!! (and different from just, a boy who does CS). they worship the trinity of google, facebook, and microsoft. their junior summer internship is at least one of these. they buy into all silicon valley startup culture and they love elon musk and talk about venture capital when its really not welcome. they love talking about how much work they have and how little they sleep. all INTJs. probably virgos. there is also a subgenre of CS boy who didnt come into stanford wanting to do CS and ended up switching because its easier to be a CS Boy at stanford. they criticize the culture all the time. to this you can say, “it’s all right, craig, i know you just want to make money.”

CME - people major in this when they dont love themselves

design - i personally think this major is fuckin cool and considered it before i realized physics was a pre-req. the d school is thought to be d for douchey though because their whole shtick is so ~ideate~ ~prototype~ ~We Are Quirky and Put Post-Its On Walls~ but i dug it as a frosh. they can be kinda condescending, but theyre by far the most interdisciplinary dept in the engineering major (although its also full of white men who think theyre hot shit cuz they can use photoshop)

EE - again for people who lack self love, its supposed to be so fuckin hard

MS&E - white frat boys who glorify jordan belfort

ME - similar to design. live at the PRL. stay up till ungodly hours carving wood. somehow this is enjoyable. also white male heavy

who knows how the f to categorize this:

education - if i could do stanford over i would major in this. usually very diverse, woke, often come from underprivileged backgrounds so they want to make it better for other people and reach communities that arent currently benefited (unlike silicon valley or wall street :) ) i respect them because they do what they love and not to make $ although if educational engineering were a thing im certain people would jump ship. it’s also not in the humanities dept so i feel like theyre Above the stanford hegemony and i love that

earthsys - i considered a minor in this. usually sweet, earth-friendly people. white but woke. possibly queer. granola loving hippies and maybe some frathletes who want an “easy” major but not sure (im not shitting on easy majors. i have one. love ‘em)

generally i like girls in any of the engineering depts because they are dealing with sexism and doing it. the boys are oftentimes extremely self-congratulatory and will usually say something dumb about the humanities. even the girls will hit you with the “oh i wish i could study that!” about any non-engineering discipline, and it’s implied that what they’re really saying is “but i care about my future too much!” 

humanities/sciences:

AAAS/chicanx studies/asian-american studies/CSRE - woke poc who use lots of buzzwords and say things like folx

art - the people who major in art are usually more quiet than you’d think. we have an Artsy Type at stanf that are kind of extra (theta chi/EBF types, also very woke QPOC) but i dont think theyre art majors for the most part. i barely know any actual art Majors. lots of engineers just do art on the side

bio - i love bio majors because they are sciency but also get shit on by engineers so we’re in solidarity. they are sweet and study all the time and just wanna make the world a better place. there’s also the pre-med kind of bio who i would hate if i were also pre med but since im not i just kind of admire and fear them

chem - i like chem people much more than i thought i would. again a very small major and they just live in lab and have varied non chem interests. this year i accidentally became friends with like 6 people from the chem fraternity and i was surprised how much i liked them

complit/english - i was this major! english in creative writing are usually chill, interesting people. complit and english in literature…….it’s a shakespeare circlejerk and they hit you with the Discourse. overly educated white people. avoid the boys specifically but the girls can also be incredibly self-satisfied. maybe 50/50. but if you take a creative writing class instead of a lit class, the CW kids are usually awesome

taps - our drama department. they’re nice, but extra and intimidating. (also stanford theater is…..okay….not really as good as they seem to think it is yikes that was mean but) however, like with english, take an introductory class and you’ll meet very cool non-taps majors.

econ - oftentimes wonderful people! outside of class that is

femgen - same people as the AAAS/CSRE crowd except whiter. queer girls with undercuts. upperclassmen are intimidating to many. everyone shares their opinion even when its not warranted. my honors is in this

film studies - this was almost my minor and if i werent CW i might have doubled in film and comm! i dont know any film majors but if they arent a cole sprouse im sure theyre fine (they are probably a cole sprouse)

german/italian/french/spanish language or studies - spot the person who studied abroad!

history - like english, can be cool, more likely pretentious

humbio - the other premeds! actually humbio gets shit on alllll the time for being easy or having a fluff major, bio majors think they’re soft. thus, i like them. their course catalog is awesome and its a huge major but all the scary pre meds are straight up bio and humbios are softer but in a good way its a lot of sweet girls

intl relations - one of my favorite majors. usually very down to earth, the best of the IR/poli-sci/pub-po trinity. however, they can also be self-congratulatory for being So Woke and also they love to educate you when You Didn’t Ask

linguistics - weird, diverse people. very small major. similar to anthro, my old major. i love small majors they always have cute dinners together

MCS - a hard fuckin major. not as “Look How Smart I Am” as a bad CS. mostly quiet and stay in and study their ass off

math - love to wax poetic about the beauty of math. fun when drunk. not when sober

philosophy/MTL/classics - avoid. classics can be okay if it overlaps with archaeology because theyre just a bunch of nerds and they get really excited and its cute. phil majors would rather just educate you about how free will is fake and youre like tim can you please just get out of the way we’re in the dining hall and you’re blocking the cornbread

physics - Avoid. they think all other sciences are lesser. women and POC are ok

poli-sci - hit or miss. generally pretty friendly. very talkative. fun to talk to about Not Politics

psych - the best major hehe. generally liberal and woke and often queer. however, non-psych people in psych classes can be a nightmare (unlike english, taps, etc) and problematic as fuck. also sometimes psych majors are extra (exhibit a: me)

pub policy - probably in student government. im biased against it, but go in with hesitation. student government is by and large not as effective as they seem to think (however, a “woke” person in pub po might be cool because they will campaign for sexual assault awareness and economic diversity and good stuff)

STS - ohhhhh man. probably the major that gets most shit on at stanford. i think engineers think it’s fake. (humbio, design, and STS get shit on the most i’d say, because they are interdisciplinary STEM majors, so engineers think that they’re for people who arent smart enough to do hard majors. whereas with english or IR, engineers know they couldnt do it because they havent written an essay since 2009, so they offer grudging respect) a frathlete major. i personally like it because i dig interdisciplinary shit, but i don’t dig frat boys or athletes so i avoid. some of their courses are great but it does seem kind of scrapped together as a major and i dont know how people outside of stan see it

sociology - a small major, seems cool. stigmatized but not by stanford because stanford students dont know it exists. “dont you mean psychology?” no

urban studies - skaters? who knows. i respect them tho. i think they care about….like….architecture? and city development? its a very niche thing and i feel like it’s pretty hip n happening

[blackwoolncrown]

So I slept on it. And then I read your post where you reduced every complaint I had about the utter lack of nuance in your response to me to 'oh so you're saying I was sexually assaulted?' Which, par for the course, I guess. Tell you what. Go back and read your initial response to me. The one that starts with, I have never ever met anyone... You find any mights and cans in the thicket of all and every and it is and it just means and I'll apologize for reading your blanket statements as such.

“And of course this was never about consent, or about arguing that I was literally aexually assaulted by practicing BDSM. But of course acknowledging that would force you to stop seeing me as some histrionic defender of the bdsm lifestyle.“

1. It’s really cool of you to have slept on it and very awesome for you to even say anything to me afterwards since I wouldn’t expect you to and you didn’t have to.

2. It’s a bit…odd to be like ‘hey I thought about it and maybe that didn’t go right so if you can find flaw in my argument I’ll apologize’. I’m…? Like what do you want here? I don’t mean as in, what does this say but do you want us to see eye to eye or do you want one of us to be right or what? Do you want closure or satisfaction from this interaction? These are 100% open and genuine questions. I kind of won’t interact with someone when their words and ‘motivation’ seem to be on two different levels. 

3. Here’s the thing. My response wasn’t to you personally. It was to ‘the post above me’ if that makes sense. When things are presented as arguments, I am viewing them as arguments posed, not aiming my response at the person who wrote it.

And beyond all that, here’s my main thing: Stop making this about YOU. You’re really twisted up over how I see you, and I get that, but it’s not functional. Your discomfort with being ‘seen’ the wrong way in this argument or figuratively or morally or however I can say it isn’t really….my  problem. If you can’t stand it when people misunderstand who you are or what you’re about idk what to tell you bc that will happen in the world all the time and you can’t fly off in a FUCK YOU FUCK YOU RAGE just because you think someone’s interpretation of you isn’t the ‘you’ you mean to be.I don’t think about you, personally. I don’t have a moral judgement on you or your lifestyle. I don’t know how many times I can say this but me talking about BDSM isn’t me saying all people who partake in it are bad. I partake in it. It’s my job. I used to have lots of BDSM related fetishes, too. I know people in it. And I know their struggles and issues related to it, and to talk about those is not to talk about them as people.

And that’s what you’re not getting. You really sound just like a white person cracking at discussion of privilege. “Oh so you’re saying I’M a bad person for having a house just because others don’t? You’re saying I’m racist/bad just for existing? Are you saying all my friends, my community, my family members are bad?”

No one’s saying that. The point is that BDSM cannot be removed from the society that it operates in. Just like anyone has perfect agency to decide that they like makeup, they also can’t remove themselves from the compulsory beauty standards that thereby give them the privilege of attractiveness and acceptance makeup offers. When we talk about how beauty standards are enforced, we’re not saying people who enjoy makeup or skincare aren’t consenting to their like, only that the market and how they view it is inherently affected by society.When we talk about sexuality within patriarchy and how it’s demanded of and controlled in women, and how capitalism and patriarchy basically creates a need for many women to go into sex work, no one’s saying those women aren’t consenting. My job is literally to use the very demands of patriarchy and capitalism, glamourize them, and sell them back to white men either physically or digitally. I consented to do so. But if society were different what I do (the specific fetishes and dynamics, not sex work) wouldn’t be as much of a ‘thing’ at all.

I also think, for the sake of clarity, that being ‘kinky’ and BDSM are two different things and we aren’t viewing them the same way. Kink overlaps, but BDSM- Bondage and Discipline, Domme/sub, Sadomasochism is a specific set whereas there are many things that are ‘just kinky’ that often don’t involve a power dynamic. I have a monster kink- that’s not BDSM. You can have a latex kink without D/s or sadomasochism. But BDSM is literally about power and control, pain and endurance of pain, and it’s just beyond ridiculous for you to have kept acting like the relationship between BDSM and social power dynamics was an unfair ‘pathology’ of BDSM. The original post never ever said ‘kinky’, it said sadomasochism and BDSM. This implies that Lourde was specifically speaking of sex with a D/s power dynamic and or sex that involved the application of suffering for sexual gratification. And the entire point there was that this is not an isolated phenomenon, that it says something about the society in which we life. And I find it classic cognitive dissonance that someone like you can elaborate on all the different ways in which our society’s sideways’ thinking manifests itself and how people need to face that and see how their preferences or habits of thought were born from that, but that reasoning shuts down when you so much as thought that the same rules could apply to your orgasms. I would almost venture to call this ‘orgasmic fragility’. Because over the years I have observed that people deep into debate and discourse will slip right into cognitive dissonance, and people who avoid discourse will launch angrily into it, if anyone dares critique the thing they get off to. And it really speaks to the critiques I’ve seen of our misguided sex positivity culture, in that it’s given people the idea that all sex is good, and that sex cannot be criticized, because to criticize someone’s sex is to criticize them, personally.

I think that it says a lot about you that you frequently said that my posts were ‘defining you as’ anything, when they were about BDSM, which implies that you identify as/with BDSM (or specifically kink) which is pretty much my entire problem with kinksters. They place so much of their identity in said kinks that all critique of them is taken as a personal attack.Basically, despite the amazing clarity of mind I followed you for, you jumped into this argument that possibly wasn’t even about you (kinks versus explicit BDSM) and started- and this is initial, before I ever responded- throwing around the idea that to critique BDSM is almost to say people involved in it have all been raped. Like…that level of reach is beneath you, it’s entirely un-nuanced, and it was the shaky grounds that you built the rest of your argument on even if you didn’t really mean to. You said it multiple times in different ways that to crit BDSM is to say its subjects are (re)-experiencing sexual assault, but now you’re claiming I’m ‘reducing’ your argument. As if I’m wrong for that. No, buddy. Sorry. Not how this works. You said it. 

Then you tried to drag me under the bus for talkign about ‘healing sex’ but like.. there literally are SA survivors who dealt with that through BDSM and I was just trying to explain that I was not invalidating their experience. That’s YOU reducing my argument. Me giving credence to SA survivor’s agency isn’t summoning the phantom of ‘healing sex uwu’.

Idk you were all over the place and now you’re here like ‘grade my essay and if it’s a C- I’ll apologize’. It’s disingenuous because for as much as you harp about nuance suddenly you’ll only apply it along grammatical lines. Like, which is neither good nor bad it’s just funny to me. It’s also in line with you cursing at me heavily in your posts (hey, fine, go ahead) but then turning around and patronizing with ‘if you want to do this without hurling insults’ or somesuch. Like?? Ok. Inconsistent but ok then!  Either you want to say sorry for how that went down or you don’t. Your choice, either way, I don’t care… I’ll be good and I’m sure you will, too.