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#fucking physio and the eating meals and the socialising
steampoweredskeleton ยท 2 years
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#delete later#im in so much fucking pain all the time. and i hate the painkillers i hate how they make me feel and i cant really do much work#when ive taken them bc they make me feel so exhausted and shakey#but fucking hell im in so much pain. i cant do anything i want to do bc its all i can think about so what's the point in getting up#i know im getting a fun combo of depression at the same time but i hurt and i cant think enough to pull myself out of it#even on the days when its better its terrible. theres been a good three or four days in the last two weeks that ive just fucking#laid there like fucking kill me fucking stop#its stupid i know it is bc its just an injury but im terrified it wont get better and im terrified it'll need surgery and im terrified#bc i dont know what'll happen and it just fuckinh hurts. so fucking much#its a stupid little tantrum im throwing boohoo but im struggling to pull myself out of it#im doing physio getting stronger but i cant do anymore reps than i could at the beginning because of the pain#i hate it i hate it. and i still have to think of things like making myself food and doing chores and applying for jobs and visiting family#bc ny aunt has cancer and my uncle had another major stroke and i just#its too much. im tired. i need a fucking break#but im being good. im taking the meds and taking the painkillers when its too much and it doesnt make ne want to scream#im doing the getting up and painting even when i dont want to im engaging in interests even though i dont want to and im doing the#fucking physio and the eating meals and the socialising
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