#fucking hell jesus fucking shitballs

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Tangerines and deers- Part 1

Series masterlist

Tangerine x reader

Mentions of: getting laid but no actual getting laid (ik ik sad) murder (obviously)

You’re ladybugs partner, And you just happen to run into some cute British guy.

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Ladybug and you made your way through the train, he just happened to run into the same conductor. You had your ticket, but he didn’t have his.

He told him to leave, and then you quickly moved to the side of the train and Ladybug did the same as he saw the gun in the man’s hand.

“Joburg.”

“What?”

“I’ve seen him before.. fuck.” Ladybug whispered to you, as you two ran back. He ran into a person who was dressed up. They both fell to the ground, and the person dressed up grabbed the briefcase and would not let go of it.

“Give it!”

You sighed and kicked it in the back, making the person in the suit fall again and the briefcase went the other way.

“Thanks.” Ladybug said, grabbing it as they ran to the exit. But the door closed as soon as they got there.

“Ah shitballs! That wasn’t a minute.”

“Ehh.. I really think they should give people more than a minute.“ you said.

“Agreed.” He sighed.

————————————————————-

“Shit! Fuck! No.” He said, while on the phone with Marie.

“Shit fuck. what?”

“Oh deer.”

You were behind the man with the mustache, not even paying attention to who he was. You had split up with ladybug to see if anything was suspicious but really he was annoyed by you sometimes.

While you scrolled on your phone you accidentally ran into him.

“Oh uh- 申し訳ありませんでした。私は注意を払っていませんでした.”

“Uh- sorry. I don’t speak Japanese.”

“Oh, shit, I’m really sorry, sir. I wasn’t paying attention and-“

“No, no, you’re fine.” He said, with a small smile.

(Aaron Taylor Johnson is 5’11 btw…)

You would admit, he was very attractive. And very British.

You continued talking with him and told him you were trying to find your friend.

Then, you entered and got quickly pulled aside by someone. His phone buzzed and he looked behind to see if the woman was still behind him.

Nope. Weird, she just disappeared. He thought.

Ladybug covered your mouth, you quickly swatted his hands away from your face as he watched the man carefully.

“Hello?” He said.

“The white death wanted to know why you stepped off train.” The man on the other end had said.

“Wanted some fresh air.” He replied.

“Your orders were to stay on the train.”

“I didn’t realize I was gettin’ a babysitter to come cut my bollocks. I’m a professional. We’re making sure the case and his son are perfectly safe. Can I please go do my job now?”

“If something is go wrong…” the man said but he hung up.

“Oh, very kind of you. Thank you very much. See a pretty girl and then she disappears. Of course.” He said, looking around again. He put his phone in his pocket and looked in the mirror before he saw something.

Wait, pretty?

“Fuck me! Jesus Christ.” He jumped.

“It’s very rude, talking on the phone, on the train in Japan.” Ladybug said. And the man came up to him and noticed you from earlier.

“This your friend?” He said looking at you, in disbelief.

“Nope. Don’t know this guy at all.”

“Unbelievable.” The Brit scoffed and closed the curtain.

“Shove that fuckin’ hat up your fuckin’ asshole, you hear me?”

Ladybug struggled to restrain himself.

“Fuck this job.”

“What the hell was that for? You ruined my chances at getting laid. Again. For a fifth time.”

“Because, that’s one of the twins. And he was looking for the case.”

“Twins?“

“Yeah. Not really though. They look nothing alike.”

———

“I knew we should have got an upgrade. Fuck all.” Tangerine said as he walked past a girl.

“I beg your pardon, sorry. I- I wasn’t aware there was a young lady present. Apologize.” He stopped before asking another question “You didn’t happen to see someone come by with a silver briefcase, did ya? There’s a little train sticker by the handle.”

“Actually, yeah, a man with black framed glasses had it. He said something about a deer. He went that way.” She pointed to the way he came from.

The man sighed heavily.

“Thank you, love.” He went over there.

“That fucking bastard.” He talked to himself.

Lemon got a text.

“GUY IN BLACK GLASSES.”

“GIRL WITH H/C HAIR.”

“STOP THEM.”

A man suddenly sat across from him, and a girl stood beside the table.

“Hi. There’s a gun under this table—“

“Shhh. This is the quiet car. Gotta use your small inside voice in here, son.”

Ladybug spoke quietly now “There’s a gun underneath this table pointed right at you, so I would-“

“I can’t really hear what you’re saying.”

“There’s a gun-“ he spoke louder now.

A lady shushed him. And lemon laughed.

“You shhh.” You mocked her.

“I’m just fuckin’ with you, mate.”

“It’s been a long time since Johannesburg.”

“Yeah. Who the fuck are you two?”

“I’m deer, He’s-“ you started before getting cut off by ladybug.

“Really. You don’t remember me?”

“You look like every white homeless man I’ve ever seen.”

“I do not- do I?�� He looked at you.

“You kinda do. But you also look like a less attractive version of Ethan Hawke.”

“Okay. Well, I have something I believe your- Really? You don’t remember me?” He took off his glasses.

“I remember Johannesburg but I don’t remember you.”

“You shot me.”

“I shoot a lot of people.”

“You shot me twice.”

“Well you also have a shootable face.”

You snickered silently and he just gave you a look.

“It’s funny, what? Looks like you’re not the only comedian on this train.”

“I know your black framed glasses and you’re h/c hair. The cheeky fuckers who took our briefcase.”

“Yes. Yes, we are.”

“Mm..”

“You know, I’ve done a lot of personal work since Joburg. I’ve forgiven, I’ve moved on. I’ve learned that with any potential conflict there’s an opportunity for growth, a path to a peaceful outcome. That’s what I’m trying to teach this little fucker.” He pointed to you, and you just rolled your eyes.

“We’re both contract killers. There’s nothing nice about murder.” you said.

“Yeah but you’re more of an asshole than me.”

And so ladybug went on and on about how he tried to change the way he worked and blah blah blah.

“Uh, real quick, Every day is a fucking headache with you, innit?”

“Yup.” You sighed, sitting down next to the sleeping man on the other side.

“Right. You and your partner-“

“I’m Lemon, hes tangerine.”

“Oh yeah, do you by any chance have his number?” You asked his partner.

“I do.. why?”

“No reason.” You smirked.

“Ignore her. Wait, lemon like.. the fruit?”

“Blessings.”

“Mm.”

“What’s your plan here?” Lemon asked.

“Here’s the plan, me and my partner give you back your cases, you don’t kill us. You give your case to your employer, he doesn’t kill you. You’re alive, we’re alive, everyone’s happy. Win- win don’t you think?”

“How do you know whoever hired you won’t kill you for failing your job? Lose- lose. No happy.”

“Man, I just wanna get off this train. Go see a Zen garden and some shit, you know?”

“After this can we can go see a zen garden? I quite like those.” You thought of last weekend when he took you to one.

“Sure.”

“I’d like to accept your offer.” Lemon said

“Great.”

“But then you went and killed someone. Didn’t you?”

“How did you know…?”

“Wasn’t exactly subtle.”

[cult-of-the-eye]

This shit is 40 minutes??

THE METAL PIPEEEE

He sounds like a fucking pathetic little man

It's trapped?? How??

SASHAAAAAASAAAAAAJSHSHSJ

take the fucking moment you idiot

he's norwegian

JURGEN FUCKING LEITNER??????

it's a leitner...what??

Mother fucking Robert smirke

The tunnels change???

HE CLOSED OFF PASSAGES?? WHY???

Not-Sasha wanted to find him?? Why??

SMIRKE DESIGNED THE INSTITUTE???

He's a bit of a bastard he doesn't sound like he cares about his assistant who disappeared

He's using the books to hide in the tunnels and help Jon??

Who's his master???

HE TALKED TO GERTRUDE??

OVER 20 YEARS??

He's always being hunted by people and creatures??? Yeah no shit he's being hunted I'd hate the man too

GERRY KEAY!!!!!!!

Ha an angry goth

Ha the way he laughs and says that'll be our Gerard I feel like he kinda likes him

He thought he could control them??? Fucken idiot

Sacrificed dozens of assistances???? Hate the man

A guardian?? Bitchass

"Courage" as if

Skilled at shopping? Fuckwad

The mutilation????? Jesus

Keeper of evil tomes

Some books didn't react well when close to each other?? That's really interesting I wonder why??

Needs of the inmates

978???

The occasional antique???

People were wrong, didn't move normally, forgot to blink

"Everything was screaming" fuck

Too many teeth, limbs like knives, cavernous maw, door that shouldn't have been there, a great hand, pulled into a pile of meat

Darkness, burned with fire

YOU WERE A FOOL

HE DIDNT BURN THEM CAUSE HE WANTED A PURPOSE??? IDIOT

Gertrude hunted down some books - she was lonely??

She lost her assistants??

3 of them??? They each died???

Oh god this is so sad

Key of Solomon - went wrong - how did they destroy it??

Elements of several different powers

The Observer - not his role??

Immortal entities of vast dark power

Behest lol

"evil gods"

Worship??? Cult of the Lightless Flame

Extensions, fingers being pushed into our world

The SPIRAL - fools the senses, makes you see and hear things that aren't there, makes you doubt your own sanity

THE SLAUGHTER

THE FLESH

ELIAS KILLED GERTRUDE????? EHAT THE FUCK EHAT THE FUCK WHAT FHE FUCK

THEY WERE PLANNING TO DESTROY THE ARCHIVES WHAT?????? THE HELL????

HE CAN CONTROL EVERYTHING THEY SEE??? WHAT HOW????

THE INSTITUTE BELONGS TO ONE OF THE EVIL BEINGS WOAHHHHHHHH

THE EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW EHAT ITS CALLRD

OH MY GOF

THE BEHOLDING

FUCK

We don't have time for you to have a breakdown, archivist

Oh my god I'm so stressed for jon

Fuck I'm so stressed but also his voice is so hot

Nope nopedy nope nope

Thank you @melandrops for giving me the trigger warnings I am absolutely not listening to brutal pipe murder

FUCK THE BLOOD OH SHITBALLS

JONATHAN WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO JUST LEAVE HIM IN THE ARCHIVES OUT IN THE OPEN YOU IDIOT YOU KNEW ELIAS WAS THE MURDERER SND YOU JUST LEFT HIM JN A BUILDING WITH ELIAS JON I LOVE YOU BUT HAVE YOUR MENTAL BREAKDOWN IN THE OFFICE I CANT BELIEVE HES HAVING A CIGARETTE WHILE MOTHER FUCKING JURGEN LEITNER IS BEING BEATEN TO DEATH IN HIS OFFICE IH MY GOD OH MY GOS OH MY GOD

He's been clear for 5 yrs now

"oh" OH? THATDS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

TIM MARTIN YES MY LOVELIES

God Tim you're right and it sucks

Statement fucking ends

TIM yesss angry martin

JURGEN MOTHERFUCKING LEITNER

NO THEY THINK HE DID IT

Oh Jon what have you done

MAG 80 bitches let's GOOOOO

[royalswille]

help i cant stop thinking about brokeback mountain

[the-iceni-bitch]

Wade Wilson’s Special Hell

Pairing: technically Colossus x Reader but mentions of Loki x Reader, Captain America x Reader, and Avengers x Reader

Words: 571

Summary: Wade and his fourth wall breaking powers get stuck inside a reader insert fic and it breaks him.

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit violence, mentions of smut but no explicit descriptions (aside from a brief mention of pegging)

A/N: So, this idea came to me a few weeks ago and it seemed pretty original and amusing so here it is! I figured this type of situation would be torture for Wade with his ability to break the fourth wall (is it still the fourth wall if it’s in second person? I dunno, let’s not think about it too much). Reblogs, likes, and any feedback is of course appreciated! (italicized you is the actual reader, non-italicized is the insert, to help with confusion)

“What the shit!?” Wade exclaimed to you. “Did you see that? You just caught the grenade, then…. Wait a second.” He glanced at you, then back at you, confusion coming over his face. “What the fuck?” He whispered.

You just looked at him, puzzled. Yeah, working with Wade was always a little weird, but he suddenly was acting even stranger than normal. “You ok there, Wilson?” you asked, dodging the bullets that were flying in your direction before picking up the wheel of an exploded motorcycle and tossing it at the head of you final opponent, taking part of his head off. You shook the debris off yourself before throwing a look to Colossus as he walked toward you from the rubble.

“Yeah, just, where am I?” He was still looking between the two of you, his brow furrowed under his mask. “Something feels, different.”

He tried to acclimate himself but it was a weird feeling. You were standing there in front of him, but you were also there. It was a trip.

“Deadpool, you seem, more off than usual. Did you eat breakfast?” Colossus asked before coming to stand next to you, smiling at your red-suited friend.

“Shut up, you chrome asshole, I’m trying to concentrate.” He was starting to finally get used to this. “Hoo!! That’s a rush!”

“What’s up with the idiot?” Domino asked as she joined you, doing her best to avoid the multiple puddles of blood.

“We’re not entirely sure.” You mumbled out of the side of your mouth, keeping an eye on Wade as he shook his head. You wondered if he had…

“Nope no concussion.” He told you, making your eyes bug out of your head. “This is super trippy. You’re in here, but you’re also out there. Are you God? It kind of feels that way. But not like, old testament, smitey God. Like, wow, like a super horny sex god. Jesus Christ, there’s some filthy shit in here!” He was giggling.

You all stared at him slack jawed as he chattered away like a crazy person. “I think his brain has finally broken.”

“Oh my god, Captain America! Naughty boy!” He gasped. “You know, I thought maybe you were Loki, but there you are pegging him! Shitballs, you’ve fucked all the Avengers, sometimes all at once.” He looked at you with sudden horror. “Is that why you’re here? Are you going to fuck me?”

“Wade, what the fuck are you talking about?” You were starting to get pissed now.

“Yes, Wilson, what are you speaking about?” Colossus put his hand on your shoulder, and Wade noticed your matching wedding rings.

“Oh, come on!! I know I’m not the prettiest face, but there’s no way that’s comfortable!! I would’ve thought you’d want to fuck, or probably be fucked by Domino here before getting split open by the stainless steel, monstrosity.”

“Jesus, what’s wrong with you, Wade?” Domino shot him a disgusted look.

“What’s wrong with me?! I’m not the one who’s slowly fucking my way through every cinematic universe!! Oh my god, the chafing alone!!”

“I’m going to call Vanessa.” You said as Wade babbled on. You were genuinely concerned. “Maybe you should contact the professor sweetie.” You told your hubby, not sure what he would even be able to do.

“Why don’t you just freeze me like your precious Steve?” Wade shouted back to you.

Yeah, something was definitely wrong with him.

[modernspellsword]

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

Annalise blinked as Eggs went her way.  “SHIT FUCK!  JESUS CHRIST!  HOLY SHITBALLS!”  She was swearing like hell as egg went her way.

So.

Much.   Egg.

[xadoheandterra]

Fandom: Red vs Blue Characters: Leonard Church | Alpha, Lavernius Tucker, David | Agent Washington, Junior Summary: Church wanted the decorations to be perfect. Wash wanted Church to destress. Tucker just wanted his kid. It’s a Happy New Year, folks.

For @demi-dufresne who was my secret santa for the @redvsbluesecretsanta this year. I’m sorry this is late, hun. Work/Life balance over the holidays hit an all time fuck you, basically. I finally got it finished though! I hope it meets your requirements, as I didn’t quite go into detail about Church have DID or really about this AU-verse I kind of cobbled together. I wanted to more focus on the relationships between them and honestly I don’t feel like I could write DID without coming off as ignorant or insensitive....My interaction/knowledge of the condition is limited to one or two people that I’ve met, and a handful of internet research which a thoughtful writer does not always make.

Anyway have happy family feels!

“Church it’s fine,” Wash said exasperatedly from the couch. He watched Church as he moved around the living room and fussed over decorations that lined practically every surface with the long suffering understanding of someone utterly in love. Church went all out, and Wash could understand why. It wasn’t often they got to dress everything up and just celebrate like this. Their collective work schedules often interfered with such things.

“Fine is not good enough,” Church snapped out and fiddled with one of the streamers until it settled just right. There was the faintest twitch to his movement that Wash knew to look for, and so quickly when he noticed Church’s hand began to jerk to the side and how it messed up the work Church did Wash got to his feet and quickly grabbed the slighter man into a hug.

“He’s not gonna care either way,” Wash said softly. “Come sit down and drink some hot chocolate.”

Church stilled, and then slumped into Wash’s arms and sighed heavily. “I was—was doing the thing again, wasn’t I.”

Wash hummed and maneuvered Church out of the living room and over to the kitchen. He bundled the other man into a chair and grabbed the nearest blanket to wrap around Church’s shoulders while he put together some hot chocolate. The window outside painted a frosted picture of the New York skyline. Church clutched at the blanket and looked out the window as Wash moved around the kitchen.

“You know I don’t mean to?” Church said, as Wash came back to the table and wrapped his hands around the hot mug.

“We know,” Wash gave Church a sad sort of smile and pat the younger man’s hand. “And it’s not like I mind Delta, you know.”

Church snorted. “Oh yeah?” He took a sip of his hot chocolate and pulled his gaze away from the window. “Which one is Delta?”

“Logical.” Wash tilted his head back to regard Church. “He tends to push up his glasses—like this—” Wash mimed the motion on his own face and Church reached up to fiddle with his corrective lenses, surprised. “—especially when he’s lecturing.”

“Sounds like he’s not that bad,” Church said and looked down at his mug of chocolate. “Could be worse, I suppose.”

Wash hummed, then reached out and grasped at Church’s hand. “It’s not a bad thing if Delta wants to take some time today,” Wash told him.

Church snorted. “I promised, David. Today was going to be me.” He looked at Wash and smiled a brittle, bitter thing. “Even if I hate all this snow and—and celebration stuff.”

Wash tightened his grip for a moment, and then pulled his hand back. “Tucker should be back in about thirty. How about you rest in here while I finish the decorations? Drink your hot chocolate and destress a little.”

Church hummed and mumbled a faint, “Alright.”

“—marks the fifth year since Doctor Leonard Church’s indictment on unethical medical practices and war crimes. With me I have Daniel ‘New York’ West—”

“Sweet baby Jesus,” Tucker mumbled and clicked off the radio with an explosive sigh. “What the fuck is Carolina thinking letting York out to talk on a day like this?” With a groan Tucker scrubbed his hand through his hair and tapped on the wheel of the car in agitation. He didn’t want to hear about the sordid mess all over again in regards to the Church patriarch. He lived with the fallout of that long enough.

The airport around him bustled in the sudden silence of the radio. He could hear the cars honking off in the distance and snowflakes fluttered down from the sky to create hazards to drive in. Only the truly desperate or insane actually took to the streets in a time like this, with the blizzard projected to come tearing into the city. Tucker found himself in both categories today as he practically vibrated with anticipation from his little parked space at the edge of the lot.

“C’mon, kid, where are you,” Tucker mumbled and checked the time. According to the flight records the plane had definitely landed about fifteen minutes ago, so he should already be outside the airport if all things were to go well. “Shitballs I don’t have the strength to deal with a fuck up,” Tucker groaned, and hoped—prayed—that nothing had gone wrong with the airport staff. Tucker scanned the outside of the airport again, gaze intense.

The knock against his driverside window startled him into a shrieked course as Tucker whirled around and stared up at the officer who peered at the vehicle.

“Sir,” the officer said, “you are parked in a handicapped lane. I need to ask you to move.”

Tucker stared, a little uncomprehendingly, and then pushed the button to roll down the window. “Hey, officer, sorry there I didn’t quite catch that?”

The officer sighed, and Tucker got the feeling he’d been dealing with a lot of shit today. Too bad, Tucker had a lot of shit to deal with today on his own plate too. The biggest issue right now of course was the fact that junior had not come out of the airport yet.

“I said this is a handicapped space. I need you to move,” the officer said, and Tucker bit back the urge to be a sarcastic shit and tsk and play the ‘aw shucks’ routine. He would like to avoid getting arrested or worse today, thank you very much.

Instead Tucker gestured to the very clear handicap designation attached to his rearview mirror and said plainly, “I have a handicap voucher right here. What’s the problem?”

The officer pressed his lips together and then said carefully, “Sir, I need you to move.”

“Is it ‘cuz I’m black?” Tucker said, and then sighed explosively. “You know what, never-mind. Look, I’m waiting for my five-year-old kid—a kid who is autistic. Your staff are supposed to be bringin’ him out here since I can’t easily get in there in this weather. I called ahead and everything to make sure.”

The officer, Tucker noted, ground his teeth and repeated, “Sir I—” only to be interrupted by an out of breath voice that said Tucker’s name. Tucker tilted his head to look around the officer and noted the TSA Agent that looked to have run up behind him, around the car, and nearly slipped on a patch of black ice. Tucker noted the spot down as the Agent slid into place for when he had to pull out of his spot.

“Are—whoo—are you Lavernius Tucker?”

Tucker breathed a sigh of relief as he said, “Hell yeah. Where’s my kid?” and completely ignored the officer who tensed from the sudden intrusion.

“We—fuck it’s cold—we need you to come inside afff—argh!” the TSA agent slipped again but righted themselves and continued, “After I see some ID. Kids—well he’s a little stressed.”

Tucker blinked, and then cursed and began to dig out his wallet from his pants pocket. “Of course, shit—he just flew from across the sea goddammit why didn’t I think—here—” Tucker dug out his ID and handed it over without a thought, hand already going to draw the window back up and open the door when the officer stepped in again.

Tucker ground his teeth. Fuck this man.

“Ali, I told this man that he needs to move his car. We need the space.”

‘Ali’ looked at the officer surprised, and then glanced to the handicap mark in the car and said, “Thom. He’s got a handicap marker. It’s all good.” They then handed back the ID for Tucker to stick back into his wallet, which he did before he tugged his keys out of the ignition and rolled up the window. The next bit of the words between the officer and the TSA agent Tucker missed as he focused on making sure he had everything before he opened his car door.

By the time Tucker got the door open and worked on getting his bad leg out of the car, the officer had already stormed off. Ali offered a hand for balance, which Tucker took with a muttered, “Thanks, man.”

“No problem,” Ali said. “Sorry about Thom. He’s a bit stressed.”

Tucker snorted. “Aren’t we all?”

“Yeah. Let’s go get your kid.”

Church woke to a loud, “We’re home!” and jerked up from the kitchen table that he’d fallen asleep at. In his hands was the mug of hot chocolate David gave him, already gone cold. His brain took a moment to return to working condition, a slow sort of boot as he tried to blink away the sleep. At least he hoped it was sleep—missing time always worried him, and Church could never be sure he’d actually been asleep or if he’d just not been here.

“Welcome back,” David said, voice pitched low enough that Church had to strain to hear it. “Church fell asleep at the table.”

Oh, good, he had been asleep. Church breathed a sigh of relief and pushed the chair back as quiet as he could, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders as he picked up the now cold mug of hot chocolate and brought it to the sink.

“Shit, really?” that voice belonged to Tucker, and Church thought he heard a fainter voice, unintelligible, that meant Junior had arrived safe and sound. “Fuck, he didn’t wear himself out doing all of this, did he?”

David chuckled and said, “He wanted it to be perfect for our new arrival.” Church set the mug into the sink and started the trek back toward the living room. “Hi, Junior. I’m Wash. It’s nice to meet you.”

From the doorway Church could see David crouched down enough to be at Junior’s height—the little monster had grown since the last time Church got a chance to look at him, back when he’d been nothing but a squealing toddler and Tucker a terrified mess as he stayed stuck in the room with that bitch who birthed the creature. He was practically half Tucker’s height, which wasn’t hard really since Tucker was a short ass in reality, even if his personality often made him bigger than he was.

Tucker had one hand on Junior’s shoulder, a light grounding touch. Church knew the motion because Tucker used it with him some days, just like Charmaine back when they were kids before she became known as ‘Carolina’. Junior seemed to appreciate the slight pressure as he gave a wide-toothy sort of grin in response, but shyly waved at David.

“’M ‘vernius ‘ucker,” Junior said, words half mumbled and some of them outright lost around a mouth that probably didn’t always know how to shape them the right way around. Church huffed from the doorway to catch attention, and watched how Junior seemed for a moment to startle, and then light up like Christmas had come a second time this year.

“’Nuncle Church!” Junior squealed, and then in a burst of surprising speed latched himself around Church’s middle.

“Hey, monster,” Church greeted, one hand settled into the black curls on Junior’s head. “Long trip?”

Junior squealed instead of using his words and Church made an appreciative noise in response. He looked up at Tucker who looked back at him, relieved, and then gestured to all the decorations around the house.

“Really, man?” Tucker said—and Church looked everything over with a keen eye.

The living room was decked out in balloons and streamers and hung up signs that said things like ‘It’s a Boy!’ or ‘Congrats! You’re A Dad!’ and one lone ‘Welcome Home!’ off in a corner. Church snorted and looked down to Junior.

“You like ‘em?” Church asked, and Junior nodded into his middle. Church shot Tucker a smug look. “Yeah, fucktard, really.”

“Ass,” Tucker replied fondly and flopped down into the couch. “C’mon, bring my kid over here so we can have a proper cuddle pile.”

David looked on and shook his head, even as he flopped down beside Tucker and made a gesture for Church to join them. Church glanced down at Junior and said, “Whaddya say, monster? Cuddle pile with your dad and not-dad?”

“Mm!” Junior grinned up at him and Church corralled the kid over to the group couch. He flopped himself down across Tucker and David, and then grunted when Junior climbed up onto his stomach.

“Serves you right,” Tucker mumbled. “Jewish-dad.”

“Best-dad!” Junior squealed, and then squinted up at David who had never met the monster—and Church pitied the man just a little bit, because he had no idea what he was getting into with this. “Not-dad?”

“Awesome-dad,” Tucker corrected, “’cuz Wash is awesome.”

“Rude,” Church countered. “Aren’t I awesome?”

“Nah, your plain Church. Hadn’t you heard? Obviously I traded you in for the more rugged model,” Tucker teased and Church pouted.

“Rugged?” David questioned, and Church realized he hadn’t heard Tucker call him rugged yet—they’d kept that one to themselves in small gigglefests over the growing beard on David’s face. It really did make him look older, more rugged and worn but not less handsome. Church found he rather liked it—Tucker said it itched.

“Dude, you grew a beard,” Tucker said.

Church patted David on the knee and told him, “I like the beard,” even as David looked so despondent at being called rugged because of his beard.

Junior gasped in their collective laps, as if he just noticed the beard which was entirely possible. Church knew how much it oftentimes hurt the kid to just look at people. His wide-eyed awe, though, that made Church smile just the little bit as he watched Junior reach up and touch the beard.

“Santa,” Junior said, and Church burst out laughing.

[tuwam]

from zero.

when they find him, he really, really wished they hadn’t.

hyuntae had a sweet gig going here, well as sweet as any deal operating on the streets could be. it was dirty, tiring and sometimes paid off ten times over or not at all. the streets were loud, never-ending and matched the ongoing static that burned tirelessly in his mind. it smelled and it hurt. from the smoke that would cake in his lungs from the cars, from the back-end of some butcher’s shop and occasionally from the bruises received from unsatisfied customers. they still paid in the end. 

sometimes hyuntae had to pay first.

he’s finishing a transaction and subsequently lying to the customer about having used the product when really, as he’s said a million fucking times - he’s the delivery boy. that’s it. he gets an order, charts his course, finds them according to signatures that separate all mutants from normal folk and delivers. he’s always delivering the heavier ones to people more shrouded in the community, wining and dining with the humans. pretending. they dope themselves on suppressants if their mutations are too hard to masquerade.

his last drop-off had in fact been to a college campus, some poor guy trying to hide the fact that his skin literally shoots needles. fucking idiot. he’s going to be doped up and overdose soon. when that happens, hyuntae’s going to have to call the brass to clean it up. he doesn’t know who does it he just knows that when they call he wants to be as far as fuck when they handle the body and wants his last payment.

they don’t tell him who they are and he doesn’t ask. they send the orders and the shipments and they’ve got big ass guns that can neutralize him, it’s all he needs to know. hyuntae knows, he’s well aware he lives life scraping where he can and licking the boot of the people who order him around. that’s what he gets for attracting the wrong crowd trying to hack into databases not meant for him. now, the only thing his powers were good for was scaring the daylights out of skeptical customers, rowdy customers and well - cheating in every game he played.

anyway, he’s finished the transaction, collected the pay and a busted lip when they show up. his head hurts like a bitch, and the blood is the best taste he’s had in his mouth in three days. it’s how he knows he’s alive despite the constant buzzing in his head. he’s contemplated taking the suppressants to see the hype but he’s been instructed very abruptly not to. the day isn’t anything special, an angry customer who was from the police force and called him cheeky. hyun can laugh now ( though he shouldn’t have laughed then ) because the money is enough to pay rent and then some. when mutant activity spikes and people start carting away mutants and making them disappear the line is usually hot or cold.

it depends. 

right now, he’s finished counting the cash and is ready to cash in - once he finishes this boss. 

he feels something collide into him and his cash and money drop to the concrete.

“son of a- mind watching where you’re going?”

something blooms in his chest and hyuntae shuffles it aside to bend down and pick everything up. the console is last and the stranger picks it up first. when hyuntae stands up and dusts off his jeans he notices that the person is considerably taller ( which isn’t fucking fair ) and is staring - dumbfoundedly so at him and still holding his console.

“mind handing that back while you stare?” that seems to pull him out his stupor but hyuntae is caught by an onslaught of emotion when the other smiles instead. a smile that has his currents buzzing so hard they ache and pull. it takes hyuntae seconds to realize his currents are pulling towards this man - this stranger and

shit.

the currents haven’t done that in a while. well, he’s more used to ignoring the cues, the way they happen seem programmed and it makes him feel puppet-like, dead and for someone else to order and control. it’s not so much a word as it is a collection of movements in his skin that push him toward the action. 

‘yunho!’ the moment is broken with the call that turns both hyuntae’s head and the stranger??? yunho, towards the sound. another man is running down the street, headed towards them and the tug hyuntae feels from his currents almost lurches him forward. he holds his ground first, grabs his console next because now he wants to get out of here.

‘joowon.’ jaehyun speaks first as the new arrival gets closer to them. the voice is gentle, still with the surprised stupor from before and as the guy gets closer - joowon??? hyuntae has to physically stop himself from falling into them. it’s like a magnet and it’s tugging him, lifting his feet like someone were picking him by the head, by his very soul. his instinct is to get away from them because he doesn’t like feeling things he doesn’t understand and it’s been a while since the only thing he didn’t understand was his powers.

they’d never done this. and right now, they don’t tell him to run, they just buzz on the edges of his skin, getting as close as possible to the two men before him. hyuntae’s pissed off, feels out of his own skin and his own body betray him.

‘you found him.’ joowon’s looking at him and hyuntae has half a mind to kick him in the shin. he can take yunho, joowon maybe not but yunho is his build, maybe a bit taller, but that’s it. hyuntae can take them, he just needs to will his body.

to move. to listen.

his currents buzz in defiance.

the sound is overtaken quickly by the sound of sirens. the truck rounds the corner, black and familiar and hyuntae’s eyes bulge. figures start to escape to van and he doesn’t need his currents to tell him.

fuck.

he’s moving easy, partially from how quick yunho?? ( jesus fuck it is yunho ) grabs him and yanks him with them, but maybe because of how willingly his currents allow it.

traitors.

it’s too late to ask questions because they’re taking off and holy shitballs he’s fucking fast. hyuntae’s fast but that’s only when he can muster up the energy, this guy is fast on athleticism only. that’s unfair. but they’re running and he can’t catch his breath and everything in him tells him to hold tighter and run faster and he hates it, wants to pull away wants to defy it all.

but the sons of bitches behind him start shooting and hyuntae’s currents are shooting out to block and neutralize all the bullets.

what the----

‘good looking out hyun.’ joowon’s yelling at him and hyuntae can’t even find it in him to flip the bird. he’s trying to catch his breath.

and keep up with speedy here.

when they stop it’s in the form of them tumbling through a door of some back alley place. hyuntae wasn’t paying attention, he’s just glad they’d stop running. hyuntae is toppling over joowon as yunho steadies himself on what appears to be a bar counter. he’s still seeing stars so it takes a second to realize that they’re in a bar. when he does get a chance to breath his first word is towards joowon who is quickly jumping up and off him.

“hope you got the funds to buy me a new console dickhole.” joowon’s eyes widen and his arms move up in defense. in the moment, since they’ve already seen his powers hyuntae would love for his currents to listen and give this guy some motivation to replace his busted console.

that’d be nice. if his currents weren’t busy ripping him in every other direction, six to be precise. when that registers, the pull is unbearable, brings him to his knees. joowon’s on him in seconds.

‘hyun, you okay? what’s wrong?’

hyuntae hears his own voice groaning, downright screaming at the pain of his mind trying to be in several places, the emotions that start to hit him. it’s like a damn overflowing.

‘i told you it’d be too much to bring him here at once.’ well, hyuntae recognizes that voice. jaehyun. ‘hyun can you stand?’ he recognizes that one too. taewoon. he groans again but this time it’s frustration, pure frustration. he was doing just fine!

‘i thought i told you dipshits to leave me alone.’ is what he says when the headache subsides and everyone’s given him space to stand and breathe. joowon hasn’t quite left his side but taewoon is holding him. jaehyun is behind the bar counter with two more beside him and yunho is of course right beside joowon. hyuntae lets out a sigh, runs a hand through his hair as the currents dance, of course they’re excited as hell.

hyuntae hasn’t seen any of them in years.

‘that’s not what your friends are saying.’ “fuck off yunho.” is hyuntae’s response to that. “what do you guys want?”

taewoon steps up first, the currents sing and dance. taewoon taewoon taewoon!!! they practically scream in the shrill-like buzz they often use. hyuntae scowls.

‘come home.’

[vagrantblvrd]

Aces Up Every Sleeve (1/1)

Summary: The thing with Michael is this ongoing...Thing in Jeremy’s life.

Notes: Companion piece to Coming in Like Lightning from Jeremy's POV based on a comment thread with Miss-ingno that got away from me. /o\

(Read on AO3)

The thing with Michael is this ongoing...Thing in Jeremy’s life.

It’s been years since they met and he still doesn’t know what they’re doing aside from running into each other in the same dive bars and acting like it a weird coincidence.

It’s ridiculous, and confusing as hell, which is why he calls Ryan for advice because he’s terrifyingly smart when he’s not being an idiot.

“Jeremy,” Ryan’s saying, voice muffled and distorted because he has Jeremy on speaker as he moves around his apartment gearing up for a job. Metallic clinks and clunks and one alarming  thunk that may or may not be that new grenade launcher he just bought. “Why don’t you just tell the guy? How’s that for an idea?”

Ryan doesn’t know the details, specifics, when it comes to Michael because along with being terrifyingly smart, Ryan’s also just kind of terrifying in general.

Jeremy’s been careful to be vague and unhelpful when he talks to Ryan about his Michael Problem. Knows it would be easy for him to piece together Michael’s identity and track him down to have a little chat about things.

“Ryan, no,” Jeremy says, because that is not a thing that’s going to happen.

Michael’s a great drinking buddy and the few times they’ve worked together he’s been a solid teammate. Jeremy doesn’t want to ruin things between them because he’s got some stupid schoolboy crush on the guy.

There’s an odd silence on Ryan’s end, and at first Jeremy has no idea what’s caused it when he hears Ryan take him off speaker.

This pause, and Ryan’s “gentle” voice, like that time Jeremy took a few rounds to the gut and they thought he’d bleed out in a fucking jungle miles from home.

“Jeremy,” Ryan says, and Jeremy closes his eyes. Waits for some trite platitude that should be stenciled on a piece of wood salvaged from a barn or whatever is trending these days. Maybe fancy calligraphy in gold ink in a tasteful frame positioned where it will be noticed all the goddamned time for inspiration. “You’re kind of an idiot.”

Jeremy cracks open an eye, because that wasn’t quite was he was expecting.

“I mean,” Ryan says, and the asshole chuckles. “I thought I was bad, but you- “

“Hey,” Jeremy cuts in, this overwhelming gratitude for Ryan being the asshole he is hitting him hard. “Fuck you. I’d like to see you do better in my position, asshole.”

Ryan chuckles again, like he’s forgotten he’s worse at this kind of thing than Jeremy, and that’s saying something.

“Not going to happen, Jeremy. I’m not that bad.” Ryan says, like a goddamned liar.

“Ryan,” Jeremy says, hand over his face and so exhausted. “Do you not remember how we met in the first place?”

An awkward first meeting in a bar with terrible pickup lines and both of them laughing about how pathetic they both were.

That even more awkward moment a few days later at HQ when they realized they would be partnered together, and go easy on the kid, Haywood, he’s new to the agency.

Years of the two of them being clueless about the fact they were flirting (badly) with one another.

The “will they get their shit together to put everyone around them out of their misery or won’t they?” bullshit a terrible television show would pull to drag a series out long after it should have ended, because they’re just that hopeless.

At some point they settled into a deep, unbreakable friendship stronger than anything the world threw at them.

And then they realized how stupid they are. (Hearty chuckles all around and this solemn vow never to tell anyone because talk about embarrassing.)

Kind of painful to look back on, because yeah, wow, they’re real fucking dumb. The worst part is that they haven’t learned a damn thing since then.

“Touché,” Ryan says, as though he forgot just how dumb they are, and Jeremy starts laughing.

========

Jeremy didn’t quite wash up on Los Santos' polluted shores as he drifted in like a piece of...driftwood. (Seaweed? Scuzzy sea foam? Something.)

Point is, he showed up in Los Santos two years after the shitball mission that put an end to the Battle Buddies because that’s where people like him end up when the dust settles.

Down on life and not feeling charitable to the establishment after it fucked him and one of the best goddamned friends he’d ever had over, and hey.

Someone’s always willing to pay a guy like him to shoot a guy, so that was that -

Or should have been, if he hadn’t run into Ryan again.

Found him putting that theater background of his to work with the whole Vagabond...business.

Panicking when they ended up working together in the early days. (Because really. What were the odds they’d meet like that after Ryan went to so much trouble to fake his death leaving Jeremy in the dark for his own protection?)

Ryan shying away from Jeremy every time he tried to strike up a conversation him when they got hired on for the same jobs because he knew Jeremy would figure it out before long.

Acted cool and aloof, no time for the new guy and if Jeremy thought the Vagabond was an arrogant prick all the better. Like Jeremy wouldn’t recognize the same damn mannerisms and quirks Jeremy knew like breathing. Little mistakes no one else seemed to catch, too in awe of the man and his reputation to notice.

The way he’d slip and leave his back wide open sometimes like he still forgot there wasn’t someone there to watch his back when he pulled one of his stupid stunts. Told Jeremy and whatever other dipshits to take off, he’d hold the cops or gang members or whoever else off long enough for them to escape. Like he thought Jeremy would let him get away with it even before he realized Ryan was the Vagabond. (Jeremy’s good running solo, but he does so much better with a team, a partner.)

So, yeah.

That was another thing that happened. Discovering that Ryan hadn’t died, was in sunny Los Santos living his best life (if that’s what he wanted to call it) being a fucking idiot.

Thinking Jeremy wouldn’t realize. Wouldn’t care.

Thinking Jeremy had gone through the mandatory mourning period for him like it was just that simple. (Tick off a box and get cleared by the shrinks so they’d let him back in the field, and no lasting trauma from losing his best friend.)

Thinking Jeremy hadn’t missed the idiot after he “died”. Didn’t have nights where he couldn’t sleep reliving that final mission over again and wondering what he could have done to change things so Ryan lived. What he did to fuck up so badly it got Ryan killed, but whatever. Ryan’s always been an idiot like that.

And even when Jeremy knew Ryan was the idiot in the face paint and mask, it took time for Ryan to realize Jeremy wasn’t about to give him up again without a fucking fight. Wouldn’t let him run off and start a new life somewhere else again without so much as a goodbye. (Took even longer before Ryan stopped looking sideways at Jeremy. Like he thought the two of them getting this second chance was a trick the universe was playing on him.)

Not...great times, but they did what they always did and pushed through. Sheer bullheaded stubbornness and a refusal to roll over and die.

Never the same people they were back then, the days where they thought nothing could bring them down as long as they were together. Invincible Battle Buddies who survived the worst the bad guys could throw at them and too stupid to see the fuckers with the knife about to stab them in the back.

Jeremy lets Ryan have his paranoia, and Ryan lets Jeremy have everything else. (Smile on his face and this fallback plan that’s more or less salt the earth if someone fucks with them, wreck their shit, and this is what happens to people who fuck with his family.)

An unexpected bonus to all of this is hearing the way people talk about the big bad Vagabond like he’s this terrifying urban legend. The thing that goes bump in the night and took you away if you were bad.

All-seeing and all-knowing and about a billion times cooler than Ryan will ever be and they both know it.

It’s always hilarious watching Ryan stride into a room in full Vagabond getup and seeing the way people react to him. Assholes who have no idea what a handful Ryan is when he gets frustrated with something. The way everyone seems to think he’s death personified when Ryan has strong opinions over fucking pie.

Jesus.

But then there are times when things go to shit and Jeremy will look over and see Ryan. Cool and competent and watching Jeremy’s back the way he always had. Grin in his voice because he’s always had best/worst ideas, and deadly as hell when he’s properly motivated.

New and improved Battle Buddies, and it’s a hell of a thing to see in action. (Jeremy would know. Matt likes to send him the footage he pulls from surveillance cameras and newsroom servers, sticky fingers all over the place like it’s the easiest thing in the world.)

========

Jeremy will never forget Ryan’s little shrug when Jeremy put the pieces together and let Ryan knew he knew.

Jeremy feeling angry, hurt, that Ryan lied to protect him but he got it, understood where he was coming from. The odds against them and this one desperate gamble to protect Jeremy, never expecting to see him again and if he did, that Jeremy would hate him for it, and doing it anyway. (So fucking relieved Ryan was alive. That Jeremy hadn’t gotten him killed.)

The lopsided smile and tentative fist bump he offered, like he thought Jeremy would leave him hanging after all the shit they’d been through.

“Bring it in, idiot,” he’d said, blood in his mouth and busted ribs, but fuck it because they’d made it, hadn’t they?

Survived the assholes who tried to take them down all those years ago, and then he’d yanked Ryan into a hug because they’d fucking earned it.

========

Jeremy and Michael have been doing this dance of theirs for years now. Long before Ryan came back into Jeremy’s life and it’s -

Ridiculous, is one way to put it. Pathetic would be another.

The whole one step forward, two steps back thing they have going on because they’re idiots. (Recurring theme in Jeremy’s life.)

Went from being friendly rivals to teammates to whatever the hell they are now. Seeking each other's company after a long day or one close call too many. Competitive fucks who bicker like an old married couple over a game of darts or another arm wrestling match.

Michael coming off gruff and surly like an old junkyard dog, sure, but this gleam in his eyes that belied the bite to his bark.

Jeremy the idiot in the Rimmy Tim getup because he loved seeing people’s reactions to it. Bland expression on his face and a raised eyebrow daring them to comment on it like there weren’t more outrageous figures running around the city.

Stupid, terrible flirting that would have gotten them punched in the face if it was anyone else. With Michael, though, it just caused him to giggle helplessly or make Jeremy wheeze with laughter as they tried to outdo one another.

So, yeah.

Human disasters and heartbreak in the making, but damned if Jeremy could walk away from it any easier than he could turn his back on Ryan.

========

Matt’s always good for news, all his computer and tech wizardry and oddly soothing apathy. (Well, not apathy so much as Matt very much being Matt, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the two apart.)

He’s the one who gives Jeremy and Ryan the heads up about the Roosters coming to Los Santos with intent this time around. None of this quiet poking and prodding their support team’s been doing, but one of the Founders and his right-hand man.

“They’ve got Brownman,” Matt says, headphones around his neck as he digs into the food Jeremy brought him because otherwise he’d most likely starve to death. “And they’re looking for a demolitions guy.”

Matt gives him a look, because he thinks the thing between Jeremy and Michael is high entertainment.

“Well, shit.”

The Roosters don’t do things by halves, and the city’s been restless, antsy, since Ramsey and Patillo came to town. Everyone eyeing each other up trying to determine who’s siding with the Roosters and who isn’t.

“Shit.”

Matt hums, slipping his headphones back on to give Jeremy a semblance of privacy as he calmly freaks the fuck out.

========

Ryan’s on one of his murder breaks so Jeremy doesn’t see him as often as he normally does, but he’s up to something.

“He’s up to something, Matt,” he says, and Matt rolls his eyes at him because there is rarely a time Ryan isn’t up to something.

“It’s Ryan,” Matt points out. “That’s like. His whole reason for being.”

Not untrue, but yeah.

========

Ryan’s up to something and whenever Jeremy asks about it, he gets this little laugh and an all too familiar, ”Don’t worry about it.”  from him.

Which means contrary to belief Ryan either has everything under control or the city’s going to end up on fire by the end. (Most likely both, though, because Ryan.)

Jeremy drinks to the memory of Los Santos before it burns to the ground around him thanks to Ryan when he spots a familiar figure sitting at the bar. Slump to his shoulders like it’s been another long day. (There are a lot of those in this city.)

“Hey,” Jeremy says, taking a seat next to him.

Michael glances over, and it’s clear he’s had a few drinks already because the smile he gives Jeremy is this wide, delighted thing that’s a little goofy around the edges.

“Jeremy!” he yells, throwing his hands up, like he’s just been waiting for Jeremy to show up. “Am I glad to see you!”

Jeremy laughs, and listens to Michael spill this story about the crew he’s working for in between drinks, things getting...fuzzy. That weird place between tipsy and shitfaced he’s been way too many times before to count.

Jeremy’s used to Michael being a tactile kind of guy when he gets like this.

Face squishes and arm over his shoulder dragging him in close. Careful not to stumble over his words, get them mixed up too much, but then he’ll get exited about something and off he goes. Less of a disaster than Jeremy when he’s drunk, but only just.

Michael leans in, ignores the whole personal space bubble ting people have and there’s a hand around his bicep to give it an appraising squeeze, this this sly smirk on his face and ridiculous eyebrow waggle – and okay, yeah.

Jeremy’s kind of gone for the guy because he flexes, heat high in his cheeks when Michael laughs again.

Starts to say something, but that’s around the time some asshole bumps into him and doesn’t apologize, no.

Of course he doesn’t.

What he does is sneer down at Michael, lip curling as he glances at Jeremy. Takes in how close he and Michael are and his expression goes ugly, mean.

“What are you and your little boyfriend going to do about it?“

Michael blinks up at him, angry scowl smoothing out into this blank expression. Like his brain’s rebooting, nothing going on upstairs, please wait.

And then he smiles, this slow crawl over his face. Haha, funny joke, buddy. Loved it.

Has the asshole giving him this confused look, unsettled at his reaction.

Jeremy sighs, and throws back the last of his drink because he knows what’s coming.

Michael’s a brawler, not much finesse to his fighting style.

Goes from zero to trying to rip the guy’s bones out and beat him to death with them in the blink of an eye.

Just lunges into action, wild grin on his face and fists slamming into the asshole’s jaw this laugh that always gets to Jeremy.

Jeremy fumbles for his wallet and tosses down what he’s got on him to help cover the damages. Knows Michael will come up with the rest later because they like this place, would hate to be banned from it for life.

“Sorry about this,” he tells the tired looking bartender who comes over too late to stop the fight - “You know how he gets.”

And then he’s wading into the fight because the asshole has friends, and Jeremy’s not about to let Michael go it alone.

========

It’s not a pretty fight, bunch of drunk idiots doing their best to beat the shit out of each other, but Michael and Jeremy have been through this song and dance enough they come out on top.

Michael laughing wild and free as Jeremy drags him away before the cops someone called arrest them for drunken disorderly and discover they’re wanted for other crimes.

They end up in an alley a few streets over, beat to hell and a little bloodies, adrenaline singing through them and Michael bright and shining the way he gets after a fight. (Hard to look away from, and Jeremy’s fucked over him, is willing to admit it to himself.)

Jeremy watches Michael call a rideshare for them, careful enunciation and still drunk as hell. Turns to tell Jeremy their ride is on their way once he hangs up, and overbalances.

Trips over his feet and Jeremy catches him, grins down at Michael who blinks at him like he has no fucking clue how they even got here.

“Smooth,” Jeremy laughs, does his best to keep Michael from falling on his face.

Michael growls. Frustration or something else, and Jeremy’s back is against rough brick wall and Michael is right there. Spark of something in his eyes as he meets Jeremy’s, hands coming up to cup his face and Jeremy -

“Been meaning to do this for a while,” Michael mumbles, and then he’s kissing Jeremy, which nice, but also -

They’ve done this before, the two of them. Drunken fumbling in one alley like this before they head back to either of their places because it seems like the best idea in the world.

- and then one or both of them end up falling asleep before they make it past the heavy petting stage of things and it turns into a bizarre sleepover and mature idiots who don’t talk about it in the morning.

Because morons.

Michael's phone dings, and he pulls back to frown down at it.

“Ride’s here,” he says, pushing away from him and for a moment Jeremy thinks that’s it. Just another Thing that happened, but Michael stops to look back at Jeremy.

Pins him in place with this heated look and darts in for another quick kiss and a breathless ”I’m notgoingtoforgetthistime,” before he’s dragging Jeremy out of the alley where a car’s waiting.

Michael gives the driver an address Jeremy’s never heard of before, and when they get there he just stares up at a very nice apartment building.

Fancier than anything either of them can afford, unless Michael’s been pulling jobs he hasn’t mentioned to Jeremy.

“Don’t worry about it,” Michael says with this grin, as if Jeremy’s not hardwired to respond with a fight or flight instinct just hearing that phrase after knowing Ryan for so long.

“Oh, God,” Jeremy says, while Michael cackles as he buzzes the shit out of some poor bastard.

“C’mon, c’mon, fuckin’ let us up, you dick,” Michael mutters, and misses when the intercom flicks on.

“Someone better be dead,” someone says, sounding sleepy and annoyed and Jeremy clears his throat because Michael looks like he’s gearing up for one of his legendary rants -

“Let us in, you fuck,” Michael says, and there’s this long pause before an even longer sigh and whoever the guy is buzzes them in.

Michael snorts, and drags Jeremy through a shiny apartment building lobby into the elevator. His eyes drop to Jeremy’s mouth and makes this slow, meandering journey back to his eyes, corner of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

“Hey,” he says, and lets Jeremy’s arm go to tangle their fingers together instead. “Don’t run.”

“What?”

Michael holds up their clasped hands and waggles them in Jeremy’s face like it’s supposed to mean something.

“Don’t run. Fucker’s old, but he can still smell fear.”

Jeremy stares at him because none of this makes sense, and he’s starting to wonder why the hell he just let Michael drag him out here. (Alcohol, a shit-ton of it, and Jeremy being an idiot.)

“That is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Michael grins at him, sharkish, and then he’s dragging Jeremy into the lion’s den.

========

So, they’ve just woken up Geoff Ramsey - The Geoff Ramsey - up in the middle of the night for Michael to babble something about muscles and Jeremy and a job offer?

Also, what the hell is up with the décor?

“Michael,” Ramsey says, sounding very tired, and very fond. “What the fuck.”

Michael grabs Jeremy by the arm and points at his biceps.

“Muscles, Geoff! Muscles!”

Jeremy stops studying the random bits of horrible décor choices around the room – cannot fathom what’s going on with the wall clock – and meets Ramsey’s eyes.

Smiles, because friendly, and Ramsey sighs.

Claps Michael on the shoulder.

“Why don’t we talk about this in the morning, okay buddy?”

Michael tries to protest, but Ramsey gently bulldozes right over him, hand on his shoulder to lead him down the hall to what seem to be spare bedrooms. Gives him a little shove into the room and starts to show Jeremy the other one, when Michael’s hand snaps out and latches onto Jeremy’s wrist.

“We’re good,” he says, some teeth to it when Ramsey’s eyebrows go up. “Really. Now fuck off.”

Ramsey shoots Jeremy a little look to see if he agrees with Michael's assessment on the matter, but Michael's making these small sweeps with his thumb over Jeremy’s pulse point and it’s distracting.

Really, really distracting and Jeremy’s weak for Michael, what he’ll allow Jeremy.

As confusing as his night’s gotten, it brings back that moment in the alley too damn fast, and Jeremy’s only human and he’s been gone over Michael for a long, long

“What he said,” Jeremy says, bright grin on his face and a thumbs up as he lets Michael lets Michael pull him into the room.

========

It’s a repeat of the alley but with a twist to keep things fresh.

Jeremy’s back against the door and Michael in front of him and all these bad decisions about to be made. (Not to brag, but Jeremy’s a pro at those. Ask anyone.)

Michael’s hands hovering over his hips like he’s not sure he’s allowed, frown between his eyes.

“Michael?”

“You can say no,” he says. Close as he is, he still isn’t touching Jeremy. Careful about that, the way he is with the important shit. “To this. You can say no and things will go back to the way they were and it’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

For a moment Jeremy isn’t sure what he’d be saying no to, but then Michael gets this look on his face. The fuck it, I’m fucked anyway one Jeremy's used to seeing before Michael pulls the two of them into a bar brawl or something else that ends with them running from the cops, and then he is most definitely touching Jeremy.

Because kissing.

And his hands slip under the hem of Jeremy’s shirt hot against his skin, rough callouses from the kind of life that’s done its best to grind him under its heel, and just made him even more dangerous for it instead, and Jeremy is fucked.

Michael breaks off, breathless and watching Jeremy carefully like he’s expecting him to respond negatively.

Push him away, smack him down for unwanted advances or something, Jeremy doesn't know.

What he does know is they’ve been dancing around one another for a long, long time. Remembers Michael’s blurted declaration in the alley, the way he’s watching him now.

“Okay,” Jeremy says, and pulls Michael in for another kiss before he can misunderstand because Jeremy’s a pro at bad decisions, sure, but this doesn’t feel like one.

========

Jeremy wakes up first, head aching and very, very naked, which is cause for this completely reasonable moment of panic.

...and then a second one when Michael snuffles in his sleep and rolls over, curling an arm around Jeremy’s as he does, because reasons.

He stares up at the ceiling for a long, long time and doesn’t know whether or not to be thankful that he can remember everything that happened the night before. (Well, that's a lie because he knows the answer, he just. Doesn’t know what Michael’s will be.)

It’s a little bit of cowardice on his part that has him slipping out from Michael’s arm and out of bed to get dressed. Sticking his head into the hallway before scurrying to the bathroom to clean up and then-

He has no idea what to do next.

Doesn’t want to face Michael just yet, and doesn’t want to just leave, so he investigates his surroundings.

Still fancy as hell, though.

Minimalist décor with a few incomprehensible pieces of artwork that Jeremy is absolutely not judging, no. (It’s the hangover, really. Killer headache and all that.)

He dithers for a bit before deciding to make breakfast to look like a good guest.

Regret comes knocking when he pulls the bacon out of its packaging and the first twinge of nausea hits, but it doesn’t get going until it’s sizzling in the pan, but by then it's too late to back down.

He glances up when Ramsey walks in, self-conscious as he adjusts his shirt and has this moment of fuck, fuck, what the fuck because he wasn’t paying attention and that’s Michael's shirt he’s wearing, what the fuck.

“Good morning,” Ramsey greets, voice pitched low.

Jeremy looks up at him, and it’s like the combination of the damn headache, nausea he’s been pushing off for too long and morning after panic because Michael, and he rushes for the closest bathroom to puke his guts up, because that’s sure to make a good impression.

He gets himself cleaned up enough to pass at being presentable and heads back out and discovers he’s been booted from cooking duty because Ramsey points at a char at the kitchen bar.

Jeremy stands there like an idiot – smooth, Dooley, real fuckin’ smooth – and takes a seat. Doesn’t fidget like a dumb kid because he’d like not to be a complete disaster for once, okay.

“Uh,” he says. “So that could have gone better, I guess.”

Ramsey gives him this look, wry, amused, and Jeremy can feel himself blushing like an idiot.

Christ.

“Nah,” Ramsey says, the same way other people say yes, and it’s fucking hilarious. “You’re doing great.”

Awesome.

“There’s aspirin the cabinet over there if you want any,” Ramsey says, pointing at the cabinet in question.

Jeremy hesitates. Wouldn’t want to look more of a mess than he is, but there’s this headache clamping down on his skull, totally did not drink enough water the night before, so.

He can feel Ramsey watching him as he goes to the cabinet and pulls the bottle of aspirin out. Eyes the dosage recommendation and decides he’s already living life on the edge doing what he does for a living and throws back a couple of the bastards.

Thins about Michael who’d been drinking before Jeremy showed up and shakes out a couple for him and goes looking for a glass for water.

“The one to your right,” Geoff Ramsey says, sounding pleased about something, but Jeremy’s busy filling the glass with water to wonder what that’s about.

He sets the glass down on the table along with the aspirin for Michael when he wakes up, and feels like an idiot because he can’t for the life of him think of what to do now.

Ramsey’s taken over cooking duty and the whole situation is awkward as hell, and Jeremy feels painfully out of place here.

“Michael seems pretty insistent you’ve got muscles,” Ramsey says, back to Jeremy and no tell to his voice to know what he’s thinking.

Jeremy stares at Ramsey, trying to figure out what he’s angling for. Cannot for the life of him figure it out and feeling wrong-footed about the whole thing.

“...I mean yeah?” he says, and then his brain catches up. Bits and pieces of meeting Ramsey the night before coming back to him.

“Oh, fuck,” he says, horror dawning as he runs a hand through his hair to straighten it, because wow, what a great first impression to make. Thinks he might be sick again, because Ramsey. Sort of a big deal, and Jeremy’s never been more of a mess than he is now. “He was telling the truth, you really are looking for more people?”

Ramsey snorts, siding a plate of food in front of Jeremy. Hesitates before he pats Jeremy on the shoulder awkwardly.

“Relax, Li’l J,” he says. “We can have the proper job interview some other day.”

Jeremy stares at him.

“Okay,” he says, certain Ramsey’s letting him down gently, will go to Michael later and tell him it was nice to help with the recruiting process but maybe not this asshole, and runs of the room to throw up again.

Because Jeremy’s life.

========

Somehow, Jeremy didn’t completely fuck up his opportunity to join the Fakes.

Ramsey – no, Geoff - makes it clear from the start it has nothing to do with Jeremy’s relationship with Michael, that it’s a chance. See if he fits in with the crew, works well with them and if he feels the same he’s in.

If not, it was nice to meet you and don’t be a stranger. (That last bit is to do with his relationship with Michael, which. Kind of nice.)

Geoff sends him out with Michael since they’ve worked together in the past. Has them deal with squabbles here and there. Remind people the Fakes aren’t pushovers while he and Jack work with B-Team to set up bigger jobs. Later on he brings Jeremy with him to meetings with allies, or watching Jack’s back while he sees to other matters.

And then Geoff decides they need to make a little noise, draw attention away from what B-Team’s up to and that’s when things get interesting.

They start small.

Go for convenience stores first and get more ambitious, move on to jewelry stores, banks.

Geoff comes up with a plan for a heist and holy balls do they go big with it. Insane scheme that has Jack in a Cargobob and the most convoluted route to a hefty payday for them Jeremy’s ever seen.

Michael shrugs and tells him that’s just how the Fakes operate, the crazier the better,  and drags Jeremy in for a kiss because they do that now.

The kissing thing isn’t new, but being sober while it happens is. Seeing the crooked smile on Michael’s face when he pulls back for air is nice too, hint of color to his cheeks and this look on his face like he can’t believe Jeremy lets him, like he didn’t know.

And then Jeremy pulls him back in for another kiss because this is a thing they do now, and goddamn does he love it.

========

Ryan’s still on his murder break, still up to something.

Smoothly changes the subject when Jeremy tries to puzzle out what the hell he’s up to and asks after Michael when Jeremy calls him up. Regular check-in to make sure Ryan hasn’t gotten into trouble without Jeremy there to watch his back.

...It’s just one of those things friends do and not heightened paranoia after the fuckery they’ve been through. (The very idea.)

God love him, but Ryan’s an asshole who knows too much about things. Jeremy fumbles his way through explaining why he'd love it if Ryan could not scare the shit out of Michael in the name of looking out for Jeremy’s oh so fragile heart

Or try to, anyway, because God knows it wouldn’t work on Michael.

“Just. Don't,” Jeremy says. Tries not to imagine the clusterfuck that would result if he did. Michael’s bullheaded stubbornness and sheer cussedness versus Ryan’s protective streak and twisted sense of humor and oh, God, please no. Los Santos would never recover. “Please. Consider it an early birthday present if you want to.”

(Ryan laughs it off like it’s a joke, but he doesn’t say he won’t, and Jeremy has the horrible feeling he’s living on borrowed time.)

========

Geoff gets taken.

========

Geoff gets taken, and they all knew something was Going On with Geoff the past few months.

Things that started long before Michael dragged Jeremy to Geoff’s penthouse in the middle of the night and everything in Jeremy’s life got weird again.

But Geoff kept insisting everything was fine, don’t worry about it and oh, hey, we should get someone in here to fix up that collapsed duct shouldn’t we?

So.

Yeah.

Jack’s got this look to him, tight-lipped and strain around his eyes. Anger humming through him as he gets B-Team on finding out what the hell happened.

Ray goes quiet.

Quieter.

Tap, tap, taps away on the handheld he keeps with him when shit gets boring. Acts like Geoff just went out for an errand, he’ll be back soon and why is everyone so worried?

The moment he can, though, he slips out of the penthouse. Tugs up the hood on his hoodie, tucks his hands in his pockets and wandered off all casual-like as though he’s not going to hit up his not inconsiderable list of contacts and informants, reliable sources of information.

Jeremy keeps an eye on Michael when they follow up on whatever leads come their way, but eventually those dry up. Jack calls them back to the penthouse until B-Team digs up news on Geoff.

Michael pauses in his relentless pacing when Jeremy comments about it – tiger in a cage, restless energy and no outlet for it just yet – and shrugs.

“It’s Ray, he says, and shrugs again because Michael might get how he works, but like hell does anyone understand it.

Michael -

Well, there’s the restlessness. The anger. The yelling.

Waiting on Jack to give the word, set him loose on whatever stupid fucker made the biggest mistake of their life. (Not yet, though, gotta wait for B-Team’s findings.)

And Jeremy?

He watches.

Tightness in his chest that’s this mix of all the anger and frustration, fear, the others show in their own ways and more. (Doesn’t let it show, because Jack doesn’t need that from him on top of everything else, and it would just set Michael off.)

Geoff gets taken and they all go a little crazy trying to find him.

Jeremy calls Ryan. The only problem with that is the fact Ryan’s Up To Something and Jeremy gets his voicemail. So then he calls Ryan’s other number, one they set up after finding one another again in case decides it hasn’t had enough of fucking them over.

Gets to listen to Ryan reassure him he’s not in trouble, but he is Doing Something. Leave a message and he’ll be there to back Jeremy up, no questions asked.

Jeremy leaves a message, because Geoff’s in trouble. Tells Ryan what’s going on and hey, buddy, hey friend, he could use some help if you’re in town, but it’s not an emergency. (Not yet.)

No idea when he’ll hear back from Ryan, and he decides if he’s going to bring Ryan into this, why not go all out? (Worlds he’s been very careful about keeping separate for good reasons colliding, and no way things could possibly go wrong.)

“Hey, Michael,” he says, catches Michael’s eye when his pacing brings him closer to Jeremy. “I have an idea.”

========

Matt pulls the whole supervillain shtick when they get to his little lair.

Spins around slowly in his computer chair, cat in his lap with his hands steepled in front of his face.

“I’ve been expecting you,” he says with all the dramatic flair of a complete nerd. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

It’s a shitty apartment in a shitty building in a shitty neighborhood.

Humble doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

“That’s great, Matt,” Jeremy says, shaking his head at Michael because yes, yes Mat is crazy. The best kind though. “You know why we’re here, right?”

Matt hmms, and strokes his beard like a movie villain and Jeremy knows it’s going to be one of those days.

“Alright, let’s go,” he says to Michael, “we’re done here.”

Michael snorts, falling into step with Jeremy because no thank you, not today -

“Fuckin’ - Oh I see how it is,” Matt grumbles, just loud enough to carry. “You get to run around like an eyesore with a dumb name but I do one quirky thing and it’s too much?”

There’s more in the same vein and an indignant little mew from the cat – where the hell did he get a cat on such short notice?

“Fine,” Matt huffs, irritated and a little disappointed his theatrics aren’t appreciated. “Not like you guys are the first ones to come to me about it, but fine. Sure.”

Jeremy’s about to tell Matt to quit whining when his words register.

“What?”

Matt’s still bitching, but he stops when he looks at Jeremy, hears the what the fuck are you talking about tone in his voice.

“Uh,” Matt says, frowning at Jeremy. “You-know-who stopped by earlier to ask about the same thing? Said you called him.”

It’s this unspoken agreement Jeremy has with Matt.

A holdover from the days after Jeremy found Ryan again born of paranoia and the fiercely protective streak in Jeremy has for the important people in his life.

It’s why Jeremy hasn’t mentioned Ryan to the others when he knows they wanted him for the crew. (It’s not distrust for Geoff and the others, just. Old wounds and scars that didn’t heal right, and Matt  understands.)

Michael’s watching Jeremy and Matt. Knows something is going on, but letting Jeremy call the shots because he trusts him.

“He did, did he?” Jeremy pulls his phone out as though he could have missed a call or text from Ryan, as if he would after what happened to them. Not a damn thing. “Huh.”

Matt makes a face, and looks down at the cat. Scritches its ears -

“Matt,” Jeremy says, because Matt has a cat.

Matt’s been talking about getting one for ages now, but hasn’t had the time to do it. Busy guy, Matt. Lots of work on his plate.

And Ryan, okay.

Fucking real life Disney princess when it comes to animals. Always stumbling over half-starved strays and nursing them back to health before finding them a forever home. Breaks up animal fighting rings with extreme prejudice as a hobby.

Had this alarming habit of befriending the local wildlife on missions back in the day. (Exotic animals some of their targets kept as pets and baffled look on his face when Jeremy would ask where the fuck he got the tiger that was following him around like a puppy that one time.)

Ryan being Up To Something, and him and Matt being squirrely as hell about it.

The theatrics, Matt being an annoying prick?

He’s stalling.

Buying time.

For Ryan.

Knew Jeremy would come here, and whatever Ryan’s been up to this last little while involves Geoff. (Or whoever took him.)

And Ryan knew Matt was looking into getting a cat, fuzzball to keep him company and pamper the hell out of. Would think to bribe him with one of the strays he picks up, hit him with an offer he couldn’t refuse to keep Jeremy from figuring out what he was doing just long enough to get away with it.

A stretch, maybe, but Jeremy’s known these to idiots long enough to know how they work.

“Matt,” Jeremy repeats, looking up to meet his eyes. “Where did you get the cat?”

========

They get to the warehouse too late to put the fuckers who grabbed Geoff down themselves, because of course they do.

Stay behind the police tape watching the spectacle, and close enough to overhear shit they shouldn’t have. (The LSPD is notorious for being lax about that though. Let a lot of things slip they shouldn’t, their own worst enemies that way.)

It’s Michael’s idea to check the area around the warehouse, ducking uniforms and a couple of K-9 units, and almost shoot Geoff when he surprises them. Drops down from a fire escape ladder right next to them.

Looks like shit, but more or less in one piece.

“Hey, assholes,” he says, tired smile tugging at his mouth and this fondness to his voice. “What brings you to the neighborhood?”

========

Michael yells.

A lot.

Because concern and worry and Geoff being the kind of asshole who’s more annoyed about his suit being ruined than the deathtraps the guys who grabbed him set up.

Not a peep out of him regarding how he got out of there, but Jeremy has a good idea about that one. (About yea tall, dramatic fucker with a worrying love of masks.)

Geoff just gives them this cocky little grin, and tells them he has his ways, which.

Yeah, okay.

They leave Geoff in Jack’s hands while they go see what B-Team’s wants them to do about these assholes.

========

There’s a lot of shooting. Things on fire. Some screaming. Explosions.

(The usual.)

========

Things pick up for the crew after that. B-Team busy dealing with the stragglers involved with taking Geoff, and Gavin comes to town. (Jeremy still has no idea what to make of him, but Michael and the others like him so he can't be all that bad. (Probably.)

Ryan doesn’t answer Jeremy’s calls, but it’s not as worrying as it was the last time he tried to get in contact with him.

For one, the voicemail message on his second line is different. Ryan’s voice this time, not an automated recording, and something to it Jeremy knows well.

Up to something (trouble), but he’ll explain later and maybe, if it’s not too much trouble, don’t be (too) mad at him about it?

For another, Geoff strolls into a crew meeting with the Vagabond at his back and this smug grin on his face as a startled ripple moves through the room.

Jeremy though.

Jeremy looks at Geoff.

At the mark peeking on his neck almost hidden by the collar of his shirt.

At Ryan.

Big scary bastard in his Vagabond getup, but to the trained eye he looks sheepish. Embarrassed. (Guilty as hell.)

Doesn’t take a lot to put two and two together, what with the weird shit around Geoff the past little while and Ryan being Up To Something in the middle of his murder break. (A Ryan on a murder break turns into a bored Ryan fast, and a bored Ryan is a goddamned menace of a human being.)

“You son of a bitch!” Jeremy yells, jumping to his feet because that son of a bitch!

Geoff’s head snaps around, and Jeremy’s aware of the others at the table sitting up in alarm. Aware of Michael turning his attention to the Vagabond and how he might react. (Big scary bastard, Los Santos' very own bogeyman.)

Jeremy’s never had to worry about that though, not with his Battle Buddy.

No.

Jeremy is annoyed, because this – Geoff – is what Ryan has been up to this whole time.

Sneaking around behind Jeremy’s back to deprive him of the opportunity to give Ryan shit for his terrible life choices. (No offense to Geoff, just. Ryan’s terrible life choices.)

Ryan holds his hands up, backs away as Jeremy advances on him

“Okay,” Ryan says, trying to placate him. “So, I know how this looks - “

Oh, Jeremy bets he does.

“Yeah, buddy? Do you?” he challenges, watches the way Ryan winces. The way he backs up another step, two until there’s nowhere for him to go. “Interesting.”

Ryan stares down at him. Looks tall and intimidating – big, scary bastard – but Jeremy knows Ryan.

He stares back, knows everyone’s watching them – can almost guarantee Gavin’s filming this, because Gavin – and then he snorts, because Ryan.

“How’s your murder break going by the way?” he asks, light and airy and laughing at Ryan because the man is an idiot. Stupid-smart and real dumb about a lot of things. Shitty liar, or maybe Jeremy knows him too well. Whichever. “Do anything interesting?”

Ryan blinks, cocks his head.

“Not bad,” Ryan says. And then – because this is Ryan – he shoots a look at Geoff, and Jeremy can hear the smirk in his voice with his next answer. “And yeah, I guess you could say that.”

It takes a moment for the others to connect the dots, realize what Ryan means, and then it gets real loud real fast as the yelling starts.

========

“So,” Jeremy says, nudges Ryan with his elbow. “Geoff, huh?”

They’ve escaped to the balcony just off the penthouse’s living room. Have a nice view into the briefing room from here, can watch the chaos unfold while the others (continue to) yell at Geoff for so many reasons.

Ryan shrugs, crooked little smile on his face and this air of...contentedness to him Jeremy hasn’t seen in far too long.

It’s...nice to see. Reassuring, easing some of the worry for Ryan that’s always there these days, just another part of Jeremy’s life now.

And Geoff -

Jeremy wants to think he’s someone Jeremy can trust with Ryan.

“I guess,” he says, and slants a look at Jeremy as Michael's voice reaches them, louder than the rest. “And that’s the Michael I’ve heard so much about?”

Jeremy eyes Ryan because he knows that tone of voice. Too casual by far, and wonders if Ryan has the slightest idea what he’s about to get into here with this crew since it seems like he’s thinking about giving the Fakes a try.

He’s not just talking about Michael. He’s talking about this crew, the Fakes. (Everything.)

Fucking weirdos every one of them, and not shy about it. (They could do worse for themselves, is the thing. So much worse.)

Jeremy mimics Ryan with an easy shrug and wry smile.

“Yeah,” he says, warmth in his chest that feels a lot like happiness. “Yeah it is.”

[olivieblake]

41.2 lmao @ narcissa saying hermione has no taste *Google's kokoshnik* how much time did you spend Google the tiaras in the Queen's possession in order to do this? VERY MUCH DISLIKE THE KOKOSCHNIK STYLE. it's too much "David keeps it tight" srsly olivie I am cackling colon conversation is my favorite BUT holy unexpected comment from pansy!!!! Rita Skeeter is such a miserable bitch. Ruining someone's wedding is so lame. Motherboarding hellforks is right. Holy shitballs.

42 narcissa is batshit crazy Pans is totally preggo OMG WITCHES DON'T BURN I AM BESIDE MYSELF Completely fucking batshit THANK FUCK HERMIONE JESUS THAT TOOK LONG ENOUGH Pansy is honestly such a fucking good friend. Ugh Trousers designed for leisure 😂😂😂 AHHHHHHHHHH

43 Theo and draco's friendship gives me all the friendship feels FUCK YEAH GO NEVILLE YOU TELL EM FUCK YEAH NEVILLE AGAIN "Draining women right from the start" FUCK THE PATRIARCHY I'm drinking a strawberry margarita(s) heh, sorry not sorry for the increasing instances of caps lock YOOOOO PANSY IS HORRIFYINGLY EFFECTIVE I should really drink some water. HE'S DOING WHAT?! OMFG I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AHHHHHJ BLOODY HELL Rest of their lives to plot vengeance, I could weep I'm crying over Hermione and pansy's brief conversation omfg it was about time Hermione was able to say that giiiiiiiirl this chapter was so fucking perfect I couldn't even stop to tell you how perfect it was. I loved it. I immensely enjoyed this story and because I've been drinking if I say anything more I will cry. This story means so much to me, thank you.

AND YOUR NEXT STORY SUMMARY SHOULD BASICALLY SAY "THIS SHIT SLAPS" because it sounds amazing

omg having shit that slaps is genuinely the height of the creative experience and if that sounds like sarcasm to you You Are Wrong

[occasionallygiveadamn]

Hey Kid (Everyone's Waiting On You, Kid)

Summary: Jess wakes to the feeling of wet sheets. She really should have seen this coming, she and Luke are both beyond stubborn. Of course the kid’s already a contrary little asshole.

Jess already loves this kid more than anything. She's just... not too excited about going into labor.

Note: So, uh. I co-wrote a Jessluke fic with @apartofthestorm and we’re both ridiculously proud of it.  Huge thanks to @mitsukoxaki for the beta and for help titling! 

Read on AO3.

Jess wakes to the feeling of wet sheets. What the fuck?  “Did I piss myself?”

She’s still half-asleep, after all--she’s getting as much sleep in the late, late third trimester of her pregnancy as she can, another few days and she’ll be over-fucking-due, Jesus--and the explanation makes as much sense as anything until the realization hits.

She really should have seen this coming, she and Luke are both beyond stubborn. Of course the kid’s already a contrary little asshole.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck, okay. I need to-

“Luke,” she hisses, elbowing her husband in the side when he doesn’t so much as twitch. “Luke.” A little louder this time, shaking him for good measure.

It’s unfair, really. The man sleeps like the dead most days. Unfortunately, with the way the baby’s been so active lately, she can’t say the same for herself. Damn near every movement wakes her.  

“Ow. Ow, okay, kid. I get it, you want to come out now. Couldn’t give me a little more warning? Ow, fuck, motherfucker… Jesus Christ, ouch. Luke.”

A worse person might pour water on him at this point, but she isn’t that much of an asshole… and as hard as these contractions are hitting her, she’s worried she might sink to the floor as soon as she tries to stand.

Twenty minutes later, she’s wondering if she dreamt it… and of course that’s the moment a particularly awful one squeezes its way down her spine, stronger than the last one. She can barely quiet the yelp of pain that leaves her lips, because holy fucking shit, how do women do this more than once?!

Shuddering as she suppresses a vision of the worst case scenario--giving birth on their bedroom floor by herself with Luke still out cold in their bed--Jess rolls toward him, sealing her lips over his and huffing a breathy, incredulous laugh at the way he responds back almost immediately, even half-asleep.

Yeah, of course that gets you up, she muses wryly, smirking internally at her own double-entendre.

“Not that I mind,” Luke rumbles a few minutes later, smirking as she breaks the kiss, “but what’s brought this on?”

“What’s brought this on,” Jess bites out, hissing in pain and repositioning herself in an attempt to find some relief, “is my sudden and extremely painful contractions--Fuck me sideways!”  

She gasps sharply, hands clenching in the bedsheets--her favorite ones, because of fucking course they would be, damn it-- as she doubles over. The contractions are coming faster and stronger than when they started, and Luke is fumbling for his phone on the nightstand, good, they should probably call Claire. She’s got a feeling these aren’t Braxton-Hicks.  

“I’ve been trying to wake you for a few minutes. Everything fucking hurts because a watermelon is trying to squeeze out of a hole the size of a fucking lemon, that you put there by the way, fuck you.” She’s panting by time she finishes talking, and yeah, they definitely need to call Claire.  

Luke reaches out, sets one hand on her lower back and starts rubbing in small circles, holds the phone to his ear with the other.

Jess groans, low in her throat, trying in vain to rub her swollen belly to help the pain decrease.

“Luke, you need to check, see how far along I am to tell Claire--holy motherfucker,” her eyes are watering now, pained tears coursing down her cheeks, but she can’t bring herself to care.

Luke’s panicking. Panicking and trying not to show it, sure, but she knows that look. The reassuring smile he’s trying for doesn’t reach his eyes, and she takes advantage of a pause between contractions to reach over and rest a hand on his knee.

“Hey. We’re gonna be fine.”

The effect is ruined a moment later, because of fucking course the kid decides to shift with absolutely no warning, and fuck this hurts, Jess is pretty sure she’s being actively kicked in the lower back.

She sinks her teeth into her lower lip and tries to school her face into something close to calm. Judging by the raised eyebrow Luke gives her in response, she doesn’t pull it off, but she’s saved from having to explain that she doesn’t know what fucking weird-ass position their kid has just contorted into when Claire finally picks up.

Thank fuck.

Luke puts the phone on speaker, tosses it on the bed beside them. Judging by the tone on the other end of the line, Claire’s already in Nurse Mode. “Luke, you need to check on Jess’s progress, see how dilated she is, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Hell, maybe five if traffic isn’t bad.”  

Jess barks out a laugh, “You ever not on call? Jesus.” She feels her eyes roll back as another contraction hits, gasps a little as the kid shifts again, more amniotic fluid gushing out. Fuck. She’d thought that part was over when she woke up with soaked sheets.

Well, at least there isn’t a small foot pressed into her back anymore.

They both hear Claire suck in a sympathetic breath, the line crackling a little as she moves around her apartment, the creak of her door opening. “Sounded like a bad one. Keep breathing through ‘em, I’ll be there as soon as I can. And Luke? Stop panicking. You faint, I can’t get your ass off the floor by myself.”  

With that she hangs up, and Jess rasps out another laugh, meeting Luke’s worried gaze. “Contractions aren’t that close together yet, we’ve got time.”

Five minutes later, Luke has helped her get her pants off--oh how she wishes that’d been as fun as usual--and Claire arrives in a whirl of concern and medical supplies. Jess groans at the sight of her.

“I’ve felt better after vigilante bullshit, and the pushing hasn’t even started yet. Motherfucker, holy shit, this hurts, this kid is trying to fucking kill me.”

Claire chuckles, setting out the towels and snapping on a pair of gloves before crouching at the foot of the bed to check on her. She lifts the sheet that Luke had covered her with.

“Alright, you’re further along than we thought. Should be ready to push soon.” Jess doesn’t think she’s imagining the note of apprehension in her voice.

“Hey, we’ve got this. You said you’ve done this before, right?”

“I told you I’ve helped do this, and someone else was doing the actual delivering,” Claire reminds them a bit tersely, but Jess starts speaking again like she hasn’t said anything.

“You’ve taken classes and you’re certified for this shit, if I di-” She breathes deeply through the latest wave of fucking earth shattering pain and continues, “If I didn’t trust you, I’d be in the damn hospital right now.”

She might be there later if anything goes wrong, but she’s choosing not to dwell on that.

Claire doesn't say anything, but the sharp nod Jess gets in response is good enough for her.

“Okay, Jess. Deep breath and push.”

Jess does nothing to quiet the scream that rips from her as she pushes. She’s fucking exhausted. The kid is definitely already as stubborn as they are, because contrary to Claire's original estimation, it’s taken another fifteen fucking minutes of contractions to reach this point.

“That's it, that's it. And relax. You're doing so good, Jess. Luke, get behind her and support her.”

Jess lets go of Luke’s hand, melts against him as he lifts her up a little and slides in bed behind her. He presses a kiss to her shoulder, runs a damp washcloth over the nape of her neck, and she sighs as some of the grime from the last few hours is wiped away.

“You’re so damn gorgeous,” Luke whispers against her neck, and Jess snorts, smacks him lightly on the arm. “I’m drenched in a gallon of my own sweat, don’t fucking lie to me--holy motherfucking shitballs, why is everything burning?” The last sentence is directed--panted--at Claire, and the nurse’s hand briefly comes up to squeeze Jess’s ankle.  

“That’s the head crowning. You are doing so great, Jess. Keep pushing, keep pushing, and relax. Great job.”

Jess leans her head back against Luke’s chest, laughs on a shaky exhale, ”Any chance you could get this thing outta me now?” she pants unevenly, and she can hear Claire’s answering smirk.  

“Afraid that’s not how it works. You’re almost at the home stretch, alright? Just a few more pushes, c’mon!”

Jess howls, an animalistic, anguished noise, and pushes as hard as she can, squeezing Luke's hand. “There we go, relax. Relax, Jess. Oh, hi little one.” There’s the sudden, ear-splitting noise of a newborn-- their newborn-- shrieking their tiny lungs out, and Luke and Jess both gasp a little.

“Seems your kid isn't waiting to show off their lungs,” Claire chuckles.

“One more push to get the shoulders and the rest of the body out.” Jess feels another ankle-squeeze. “Home stretch. Gimmie all you got, Jones.”

Jess roars--another awful, primal sound that Luke hates to hear--and then the baby is wailing  loudly as she slides into Claire’s arms. Claire shushes her as she cuts the cord, suctioning out the baby’s nose and mouth before bringing her around to settle her in Jess’s arms. More thorough cleaning will need to be done later, but right now they both need time with her.

“Congratulations, you two have a beautiful little girl.”

Jess knows she and Luke are both sobbing. She couldn’t possibly give less of a shit, staring in absolute wonder at the person they created because holy fucking shit she’s here and whole and theirs. The baby flings out a hand to catch one of her fingers in a tiny fist and Jess grins.  “Hey there.”

Claire is grinning too. “You guys have a name picked out yet?”

Luke and Jess both take a few seconds to glance back up at each other, Luke absentmindedly stroking Jess’s hair back from her forehead as he asks “The one we’ve been thinking about for awhile, or-?”

“Yeah,” Jess laughs tearily. “Yeah, uh-” she lifts her gaze to meet Claire’s, eyes glinting with mirth, “Matilda. Matilda Claire Cage.”

Claire’s eyes are suspiciously wet, and Jess tactfully pretends not to notice, returning her focus to Mattie once again. “Don’t tell Murdock. I wanna see the inevitable stupid grin for myself.”

Claire laughs, “Noted,” and Jess smirks as she feels her eyes close. “‘M so fuckin’ drained,” She mutters, and Luke presses a kiss to the side of her head.

“Rest. I gotcha.”  

[moonprincess92]

Fic: I don’t know what this is

Jyn accidentally slept with Cassian last night. 

This is fine. It’s totally fine. 

(Read on AO3)

“Shitballs.”

Jyn winced as the door creaked open, the goddamn bloody thing. The landlord had said he would oil it at some point, along with replacing the faulty fire alarms and the dodgy kitchen wiring, all of which was yet to happen, so she’d at least figured not to hold her breath on it. Shoes held tight in her hands, she deliberated the merits of trying to ease the door shut quietly, or just doing it all in one go in hopes that the noise wouldn’t be so bad. Hand gripping the latch, she ended up going with the latter, cursing once more at the horrific screeching.

“Fuck,” she hissed, hastily tiptoeing through the lounge, around the sofa and coffee table. “Fuuuuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK–”

“Well, well, well.”

She froze.

Wondering where the hell she had miscalculated, Jyn turned. Sure enough, in her morning stupor she must have forgotten to account for the Sunday Morning Jog since Leia Organa stood in the kitchen doorway in her pristine Nike gear and iPod already strapped her to her arm ready to go. However, her roommate was giving her The Look and Jyn was absolutely not in the fucking mood for The Look.

“Please, spare me,” she held up a hand, eyes closed. “I am hungover as all hell, if you say more than two sentences I may cry.”

“I think you’ll survive this time,” Leia mentioned dryly. Leaning against the doorframe, she crossed her arms over her sports bra and said, “So! Someone didn’t come home last night.”

Thankfully prepared for this particular question, Jyn gave what she hoped was a nonchalant shrug  (or at least that’s what she was going for when she had managed to rehearse it a couple of times in the bathroom this morning). “It was getting late and I was tired, so Cassian just let me crash at his,” she said.

“Oh,” Leia smirked. “so kind of him.”

“I said don’t–! Just…” Jyn rubbed her eyes, inwardly groaning.

If she had her way, the conversation would just end there. Jyn would inhale several glasses of water and some painkillers before proceeding to crawl back into bed so she could die in peace. However, she knew her roommate, and Leia Organa was a lawyer for a reason. She had an ass that didn’t quit, and it was the look on her face that finally made her crack.

“FINE, I fucking slept with him, ok?” Jyn burst out.

Leia laughed. “HOLY SHIT.”

“Holy shit sounds about right.”

“Ok – fuck the run,” Leia ripped the iPod off her arm, instead dashing into the kitchen. Jyn approached warily to see her hastily gathering up a supply of what seemed to be strong coffee and a varying array of snacks, only for Leia to then turn Jyn around and practically frog-march her back down the hall. “We’re getting this coffee in you,” Leia shoved the mug into her hands, making her drop her shoes. “and then you are telling me everything!”

“We’re gonna have to go back a bit.”

“Babe, we got nothing but time,” Leia insisted. 

“I can't believe I'm doing this,” Jyn muttered. "Fine, I guess it started last night when we all went out for drinks…" 

7 hours earlier 

“To getting fucked over!” Cassian cried over the pounding bass of the club. He rubbed his eyes, glancing at the now empty shot in his hands. “Jesus, how many of these have I had?”

“Probably too many and also not enough at the same time,” Jyn couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah, mate,” Bodhi clapped him on the shoulder. “We’re trying to keep up, but…”

“Speak for yourself,” Kay grumbled, rounding off the table ensemble. “at least one of us has to keep us all from killing ourselves.”

“To Kay!” Cassian almost fell off his stool as he toasted his best friend with the empty shot glass. “May we all appreciate the fuck out of him when he’s taking us to the hospital to get our stomachs pumped!”

“To Kay,” Jyn shrugged.

“To Kay!” Bodhi agreed happily.

Kay just huffed.

Quite honestly, Jyn thought Cassian was doing remarkably well for a man whose life was essentially (and almost literally) going up in flames. His latest novel had been rejected a total of 46 times so far (and oh boy, did they know the exact number) and apparently the latest blow had come through right at the exact same time that he’d found out that his sister was having yet another baby. Kay had apparently come home to a mini-bonfire out on the balcony, his novel now burning under Manhattan’s skyline and Cassian in the middle of what appeared to be a minor breakdown. 

(“You DO realise that you have a copy on your computer still, right?” Kay had reportedly told him as he hastily put the fire out.

“It’s a metaphorical burning, Kay!” Cassian had thrown back at him). 

Either way, it had called for drinks, so the entire group had been called in. Han and Leia were apparently busy, so it was just Jyn and Bodhi who were the only ones who had been free last minute on a Saturday night. “Where did my life go wrong, Jyn?” Cassian had said to her in greeting earlier that evening, throwing his arms around her waist.

“Blimey,” Jyn had muttered. “can we get him drunk now? Please?”

But finally her friend appeared to have entered the depressed stage of drunkenness, rather than the far-too-enthusiastic stage. Cassian slumped down over the table and Bodhi laughed, rubbing a hand soothingly across his back. “Mate, it’s really not so bad,” he said. “so you got rejected, you always get rejected!”

“That’ll help, cheers, Bodhi,” Jyn mentioned.

Bodhi kicked her lightly under the table, but Cassian ran his fingers through his hair with an only slightly dramatic whine. “It’s not the rejection,” he said. “well, maybe partly… but my little sister is having kid number three. Three! You want to know how many kids I had by the time I was her age? ZERO, and it’s still zero, because I have no life outside work! I have a shitty day job, in a thoroughly shitty neighbourhood, living in a shittyapartment–”

“HEY,” Kay admonished.

“Sorry, you know it’s true,” Cassian just shrugged.

“All right, that’s it,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “No, I’m serious – get the hell up–” She reached across the table and shoved hard on Cassian’s shoulder, making him sit up warily. “Yeah, ok. Maybe things are shitty at the moment, but you are Cassian Fucking Andor, ok? However bad you might think it is, I can assure you it really isn't. You got things going for you.”

“Like what?” he said.

“Oh, I dunno,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “your mates are pretty goddamn decent.”

Thank the lord, he cracked a grin.

“True. I’ll forever appreciate the day you came crashing into my life.”

“That better not be sarcastic.”

“Noooo, no, I love you,” Cassian reassured, reaching out and squeezing her hand. Jyn scoffed, but let him curl around her fingers from across the table anyway. “All of you, seriously. Thank you for sorting me out while I’m going through what seems to be a quarter-life crisis.”

“Eh, haven’t we all had one of these at some point?” Bodhi shrugged.

“My life is fine, thank you,” Kay rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and you totally didn’t freak out when you didn’t get accepted to NYU two years ago,” Jyn ribbed.

“That wasn’t – they accepted me the next year!” Kay burst out.

“Sure, sure.”

“I am literally in the engineering programme now, I don’t know why you–”

“So all our lives are shit,” Cassian just shrugged. “Let’s just get mind-numbly drunk on this Saturday night together, yes? I’ll get us another round–” 

“I’ll come with,” Jyn hastily jumped up as Cassian practically staggered from his stool at their table. She caught him before he could hit the ground, winding his arm around her shoulders. “I’m fairly certain you can’t walk by yourself at this point.”

“Thank you,” Cassian said as they made their way through the crowded club. It was dark, the music seeping into her bones. The shots from earlier were definitely starting to hit her head a little and Cassian’s waist was hot underneath her arm as he told her,

“Really, Jyn, I meant what I said. I love you.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she snorted.

“Is my life really as bad as I’m thinking it is?”

“I told you, no, it’s not,” she said. “but you gotta drink your own weight in alcohol before you believe that, so.”

“I had a plan, you know,” Cassian’s head practically leaned against hers, yelling in her ear being the only way that they could really hear each other. “Get a good job, get married and have some kids – I wanted a life – but I’m 28 and I’m still trying to sell this goddamn book four years later–”

“It’s going to get picked up!” Jyn yelled back at him. “Jesus, Cassian, it’s not like you’re pushing retirement – you think I know what I’m doing with my life?”

“Ugh – I’m sorry,” Cassian squeezed her shoulders, kissing her head lightly. “let’s just get those shots.”

“Yes, please.” 

“So basically,” Leia cut in, the two of them now tucked up in Jyn’s bed, an open bag of potato chips between them and coffee in hand. “His life started falling apart and you fucked him better?”

“NO, blimey,” Jyn hoped to god that her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Just let me tell the fucking story, ok?”

Several more shots and another crisis or two later, Cassian had thankfully entered the blissfully unaware of any/all worries stage of drunkenness and honestly, Jyn wasn’t far behind him. They had thrown back tequila together, Bodhi cheering loudly at the sting, before Cassian had grabbed her hands and said, “We need to fuckin’ dance, come dance with me!”

Usually, Jyn did not dance unless you paid her an extraordinary amount of money, but she was drunk-Jyn at the moment, and the amount that drunk-Jyn required got less and less the more and more alcohol you got in her. “Ok, but you owe me five bucks!” she yelled, allowing herself to get dragged onto the crowded dance floor. Cassian quite famously didn’t know how to dance at all, but he didn’t let it stop him as pop songs blasted out of the club mix. He slung Jyns’ arms around his neck, hauling her in at the waist. He moved, hips rolling into hers and Jyn matched his uncoordinated sways as best she could. She didn’t care that they probably looked ridiculous. The heat of the dance floor made her skin burn, although maybe that was his hand on her lower back, tracing the skin exposed from the cut-out of her dress. 

Ok. Ok. Maybe she should have stopped and thought for a moment before she got to this point, but it was fine. It was fiiiiiiine! This was who they were. Cassian was her best friend, had been ever since they’d met at Leia’s birthday party four years ago, back when he’d first moved to the city with nothing but a suitcase and bright ideas. They hugged, he kissed her head goodnight, she let him share her bed whenever it got late and he was too exhausted to take the train back home, it was honestly just who they were. Bodhi called bullshit on the closeness sometimes but he was wrong, all of them were wrong, because this was normal, this felt right –

It always felt right. Shit.

She glanced up at him under the lights. His eyes were closed, but they must have felt her watching because he looked down and grinned. God. It had to be the alcohol talking. It had to, because she didn’t feel like this around Cassian, or at least she certainly wasn't supposed to. No, not at all! 

She rocked up onto her toes and with their faces so close together, her lips slanted against his. For a second, they didn’t move. It wasn’t so much a kiss as it was just a brief touch, but he lingered under the lights and she felt him take a shuddering breath. Something passed between them and she wasn’t sure if it was a question or a reassurance, though considering how drunk they were it was probably both.

Fuck it, Jyn figured.

She kissed him again, harder and longer and like he was her air to breathe or some other bullshit like that. GOD, why hadn’t they been doing this as long as they had known each other? She clung to his collar, his hands roaming her hips, her back, her shoulders and she really had no idea what was happening, OH BOY WAS SHE PANICKING A LITTLE?! Her head was swimming. She had definitely drunk too much. 

“Fucking hell–” Jyn gasped as he bit her lip a little.

“Jyn – Jyn – we don’t do this–” Cassian breathed into her mouth, hand inside her dress now thanks to the cut-out at the back. “What am I doing – oh god–”

“Don’t put your hand there unless you plan on taking the entire thing off,” Jyn murmured against his lips.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck sounds about right, I don’t know why I said that.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Super bad.”

“Our friendship is gonna be fucking ruined–”

“Exactly, so we shouldn’t–”

Their faces, however, weren’t listening and instead were gravitating towards each other without thought. Heat fuelled their kisses, both gasping, and hands snaking down their bodies. Jyn felt his every dip and curve under her fingers and eventually she threw all caution to the wind and said,

“Get outta here?’

“Oh, thank god.”

“So we went home and we fucked, the end,” Jyn finished the story without preamble.

Leia, apparently, wasn’t satisfied.

“We went home and fucked, the end?” she said in outrage. “Nope, I’m sorry, I need more! What actually HAPPENED?”

“What, do you want to know the position or something?”

“I need DETAILS, Jyn!” Leia demanded. “I mean shit, you slept with Cassian. CASSIAN. He’s not like Han, he doesn’t proudly and obnoxiously talk about his sex life in casual conversation–”

“I mean, that’s probably a good thing,” Jyn snorted.

“Yeah, well,” Leia rolled her eyes. “My point is, holy shit. What was it like? Was it good?”

“Of course not,” Jyn scoffed. “We were drunk. It was awkward and he came in like three seconds.”

Leia looked mightily disappointed.

But honestly, Jyn certainly hadn’t expected much else from Cassian considering he’d been so drunk at that point that he couldn’t even remember how to take his own shoes off. He’d tried, he really had, but she had kissed him hard enough to bruise and he was gone completely, and she wasn't going to fault him for it. Her head throbbed trying to think back, but she remembered the two of them giggling, staggering around in the dark and eventually falling into his bed. They’d been half dressed, she’d sworn spectacularly when his hips had ground against hers only to break off into a laugh as he pressed small kisses down the side of her face. There’d been too much fumbling, too much teeth and an awkwardly placed knee here and there, but Jyn felt the blinding smile spreading across her face despite it all.

“Jesus,” Leia mentioned. “must’ve been a fucking good three seconds. I’ve never seen you smile like that before.”

“Just because it was bad doesn’t mean I didn’t like it,” Jyn pointed out.

“OH MY GOD.”

But Jyn just drained her coffee before leaning her head back warily against her pillows.

“Leiaaaaaa, tell me honestly,” she moaned. “How badly did I fuck this up?”

“Depends how much you value your friendship, quite honestly.”

“You know us,” Jyn looked up desperately. “Leia, you know what we’re like, is this doomed? Is this something, are we something?”

“I don’t know!” Leia pointed out. “Hell, I can barely tell if you like ME most days, how am I supposed to tell how you feel about someone else?”

“I like you,” Jyn said.

“Reassuring, but still doesn’t help,” Leia said with a snort of laughter. “What did you say after?”

“Nothing, really,” Jyn admitted. It was a kind of haze. She remembered thinking that she was still breathing hard, still thrumming with heat and feeling like her head was on the verge of exploding, only there was so much alcohol in her system that all she'd felt like doing was sinking into his mattress. Cassian’s hand had reached out blindly, hitting her in the face, and she had snickered into his sheets. She remembered catching it, pulling it close to her chest and him pressing his nose to her hair.

“I think I fell asleep,” Jyn admitted.

“Clearly, seeing as you were trying to sneak in back home at,” Leia checked her phone. “6:15am.”

“I woke up and panicked, ok!” she cried. “What would you have done?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have slept with my best friend, for starters.”

“No, you only sleep with either arseholes or Han.”

“I’d argue, but honestly touché,” Leia said regretfully.

Jyn rubbed her eyes. “Leia, seriously, what the hell do I do?”

“Well, do you have feelings for him?”

“WHAT IS A FEELING?”

“JYN.”

“Look, I don’t know!” she cried, trying not to splash Leia's cooling coffee everywhere. “Sure, I’ve always liked him, like you said he’s one of my best mates and we’ve always been close, but – we’ve never gone there until now and I don’t know why.”

“Have you ever considered it?”

“Maybe?”

“This isn’t a time for guessing, Jyn.” 

“OK, ok! Yes, I’ve considered it a couple times,” she burst out. “but it was never seriously, it was always joking with Shara at work or something, a ‘your friend’s hot’ ‘oh fuck yeah’ something like that. But something just happened last night and it was like…”

“A switch got flicked.”

“Something like that.”

What was she even supposed to do from here? She didn’t know what she wanted and she was fairly certain she shouldn’t face him again until she did, but there was a reason they were all friends! They saw each other on a fairly regular basis, it would be blindly obvious if she started avoiding him and quite frankly, she really didn’t want to. She enjoyed his company, his usually quiet charismatic vibe naturally meshing with her. They didn’t have to say a lot when they were together, but it was like a thousand conversations passed between them anyway. They could spend an entire evening just spread out on the couch, legs tangled and on their individual phones the entire time and call it a great night. They’d both had shit happen to them in the past, they both had shit to deal with now, but there was always something just inherent that made them understand each other.

Was this really worth potentially ruining all that?

Before she could even try and explain all of this to Leia, someone knocked at the door.

“I swear to god, if that’s Han forgetting his keys again I’m gonna–” Leia began, but Jyn grabbed at her arm frantically.

“What if it’s him?” she hissed.

“How could it be, you literally left him out cold after fucking his brains out, right?”

“Wait, wait – LEIA,” Jyn stage cried as she attempted to drag her roommate back to bed with her. However, Leia just kept on ploughing for the door, letting Jyn hang onto her arm with no problems. Jyn’s socked feet slid uselessly down the hallway as she attempted to keep Leia back all the way to the door and she had to practically hide herself in the kitchen when she answered it.

“ANDOR. Jesus, you must've run fast. Do you realise what time it is?”

“I know, I know it’s early, I’m sorry – but um, is Jyn –?”

“Oh, she’s here,” Leia smirked. She turned, grabbing Jyn and having no problems being the one to pull her out into the open.

Goddamn it, Leia.

Jyn found herself facing Cassian once more, less than an hour after dragging herself more or less naked from his bed. He wore old jeans and a large stained sweatshirt and considering she was still in her clothes from the night before, he was probably doing a little better than her at any rate. Leia managed to slink back out of the line of fire as the two of them continued to just stand there in the doorway and eventually, Jyn had to at least try and push through this because clearly he wasn’t going to any time soon.

“Hey,” she said, brightly. “So that tequila, huh? Tell me, does your head hurt as much as–”

He reached out and held her face, kissing her hard in one smooth movement.

“–god,” she gasped once he broke away from her.

“Shit, I’m sorry – to be fair, I think I’m still a little drunk,” Cassian’s hands wavered a little as they pulled away. “but you left before I had a chance to say – um – I don’t regret it, ok? Shit, shit, shit, I don’t know what I’m saying – actually forget all of this, we’ll pretend it never happened – have a good day!” 

“Hold on–”

Jyn had to grab his wrist to stop him from panicking and slamming the door behind him. She pulled him inside before shutting the door, only once she had him standing there in front of her clearly in some stage of inward meltdown once again, she suddenly found that she didn’t know what it was she wanted to say. Damn it, this is why she shouldn’t be trusted with emotions! She probably needed to start somewhere though, and an apology seemed fitting considering that she’d basically jumped him at what had appeared to be the most vulnerable he’d been in his life since she’d known him.

“Cassian, I’m so sorry for last night,” she insisted. “you were emotional, I took advantage of it.”

“No, no, you could never take advantage–”

“But you wouldn’t have slept with me if you weren’t–”

“Trust me, Jyn, I would have.”

“Damn,” she let out a breath, trying not to smile as he let out a similar laugh. “Ok. Shit, Cassian…”

“Look,” He shuffled his feet a little. “again, I don’t regret last night. I regret how drunk I was, because I don’t actually remember a lot and I fear I was mostly off my game, but we fit together well and I–”

“Wanna try again?”

She was almost certain that he was having a heart attack.

Yes, maybe this fucked up their friendship, but it was the least of her concerns. This man was standing in front of her at six in the morning because he cared and damn it, she could only imagine how great it could get if they had sex a second, third or even a fourth time. His life was a mess but hell, maybe this would make it slightly better and she pulled him down to her, his lips hot against hers as he responded in earnest.

“I hope your head doesn’t hurt too much,” she grinned.

“Oh, I’ll survive.”

Jyn pulled away to yell back into the apartment. “LEIA,” she hollered, Cassian attaching himself to her neck. “I’d go for that run now if I were you!”

“Thank the lord,” She heard, rather than felt Leia stomp past as Jyn went back to making out in the middle of the hallway. “I’ll be back much, much later. You kids have fun!”

“Oh, we will,” Cassian whispered into her ear before picking her up under her thighs and carrying her down to her bedroom.

Oh, we will.

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Four

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!

           ***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***

Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (Fyi this is total fiction as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Rating: Mature

She felt fucking amazing underneath him. It wasn’t surprising because Jeffrey felt extreme chemistry with her, like nothing he’d felt in a very long time. It was however completely addicting. He wanted to consume her, every soft yet firm morsel. Her stature may be small but the curves he discovered while they made out like teenagers were all woman. Jeffrey wanted to see and touch every goddamn inch of her petite frame. Aria’s tongue and lips tasted like sugary fair food and a hint of hazelnut from her girly coffee creamer. He ate it up, teeth pulling her plump bottom lip into his mouth to suck and redden. She writhed under him as he did, her fingers curled into his belt to tug him closer and harder against her. Jeffrey wrapped her leg around his lower back and pinned her down with his hips. His broad shoulders and long arms boxed her into the cushion, his face buried into her arched neck. Aria rolled her whole body beneath him, grinding against the throbbing ache between his legs. Shuddering between her thighs, his hand clutched her hip and he pressed his forehead against hers. Panting roughly across her face, Jeffrey’s voice was low and gravely “We gotta stop sweetheart. Fucking hell, I don’t want to stop. But you’re gonna turn me into a fuckin’ fourteen year old virgin unloading in my pants if we don’t.”

Biting her lip to keep from laughing, she nodded up at him and spoke equally as husky. “You are dangerous Mr Morgan.”

“Mmm.” He groaned, dipping his face into her neck to taste her skin one more time. “Why does everything you say turn me on?“ he rasped with a chuckle. He kissed her slowly but just as wanting, his tongue sweeping across her lips. When he pulled back he smiled down at her and took a mental picture. She was laying against the light gray pillow, her chocolate colored hair loosened from the braid. The wavy locks framed her flushed cheeks and there was a pleasant curl to her swollen lips. She was beautiful all mussed up and wanton.

“I’m beginning to like you.” She murmured, her brow furrowed in what almost looked like confusion. “Just beginning huh? Something wrong with that?” Jeffrey asked, staying on top of her but pulling some of his weight from her. He brushed his hand through her hair and gave her a boyish grin. “You don’t want to like me?” “Don’t be stupid.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes before pursing her lips. Jeffrey curled his fingers into her ribs in threat, his eyebrows raised. “Tell me what that look was for or else.” “Ugh fine.” She muttered with a shy smile, “I haven’t really liked someone in a very long time. I mean attracted to yes but…” “I like you too sweetheart.” He shared as she trailed off. “I’m happy to be the one you like.” “Me too.” Sitting up, Jeffrey pulled Aria with him and kissed her chastely. “I should head out. Got a long night and morning ahead of me.” “You should’ve told me. Are you even gonna sleep?” “I’ll catch some on the flight.” “I suppose in the fancy first class area you have the room.” She teased as they stood up from the couch. Snorting he offered, “do you expect me to fold these legs up for coach?” Laughing she nodded, “yeah I guess that’d be uncomfortable.” “Damn right Miss Shortstack. Be happy you’re so compact?” “Pfft. I have to stand on my toes to reach everything!” She spoke with wide eyes. “I can never see what’s going on in a crowd and I constantly have people patting me on the head like a child.” Jeffrey chuckled, pulling her into his chest and propping his chin on her head. “But you make a perfect chin rest.” “Fuck off.” She muttered, smacking his ass with a giggle. “Ooh! Doll. Don’t get me started again.” He joked, pulling back to wag his eyebrows suggestively. “Start smackin’ my ass and I won’t leave.” “Get outta here weirdo.” She growled through a laugh, her eyes sparkling. “Go entertain your groupies.” “This is probably the first con I’m heading to that I’d rather skip.” Jeffrey confessed, combing a hand through her hair to cup the base of her neck. “Rather stay here.” “You’ll have plenty of fun.” Aria commented, smiling up at him. “Besides I gotta work sometime. Javier’s going to throw a conniption as it is.” Cupping her cheeks gently, Jeffrey bowed his head and kissed her soft and sweet. He savored every soft curve of her lips and tongue with a deep satisfied moan. “I’ll probably be able to text you some.” He whispered against her lips. “Well don’t feel pressure to, I know you’ll be busy and god knows I’m going to be losing my mind. I still need to finalize the new menu and get everyone on board with it.” “Don’t over do it.” “I don’t know what you mean.” She joked, her lips quirked to the side. “I would never over work myself.” Snorting, he kissed her on the forehead and backed out the front door, a wide grin on his face. “I’ll see you soon doll.” “Ride safe.” Aria called after him. “Always doll. Always.”

Aria watched Jeffrey ride away from the living room window. The bright chrome and shiny black paint picking up the street lights as he turned the corner. “Holy shitballs.” She murmured in awe, tracing her swollen lips with shaky fingertips. They may have held back from fucking against a wall but they sure as hell made out like teenagers all over her sofa. She couldn’t get over how good he tasted and felt. Aria hadn’t dated for years and her last was a fellow chef who’s schedule was more demanding than even hers. They saw each other a couple times a month and nothing had felt as passionate as with Jeffrey. “Holy fucking shit.” She squealed, while fangirling all over her living room. Plopping down on her sofa she placed her hands on her hot cheeks and sighed deeply. “Who’s life is this?” Aria asked out loud to her empty house. Picking up her phone she contemplated contacting her friend Megan to have someone else’s opinion or in the very least someone to squeal with. Texting her to see if she was still awake, she smirked when Megan replied. ‘It’s only midnight. What am I an old lady?’ ‘Not old. Mature.’ ‘Fuck you…. what’s up?’ 'I went on a date tonight.’ Her phone rang instantly, making her chuckle. Picking up, she heard Megan demand instantly, “Tell me everything.” Laughing, Aria confessed, “It was kinda with a…. famous person.” “Are you serious? Do I know them?” “Probably. Jeffrey Dean Morgan.” “Are you fucking kidding me?!” She screeched over the phone. “You went on a date with Negan! Why didn’t you tell me before?! Holy shitsnacks, how did you pull that off?!” “They came into the restaurant.” “They?” “Norman and Jeff came in and later Jeff came back and asked me out. Oh my god it was so funny.” She went on to explain the entire lost and found trope, as well as the date. Megan squealed just as much as Aria had when Jeffrey left her house. “So when are you seeing him again?” “He’s going out of town for a few days. Probably after that.” “That’s fucking awesome. Oh my god. I can’t believe it. You have to introduce me.” “If we see each other again I’ll work it out.” “Why wouldn’t you?” “Oh I don’t know. He’s famous as fuck and off to LA the land of models with fake tits. He’s got waaaaay better options.” “Well that’s bullshit and you know it.” “How’s that bullshit?” “Because you’re young and beautiful. You have your own damn business that’s doing amazing FYI. You’re funny and sweet. You have so many damn good qualities it’s ridiculous. If he’s as great as you said he was, he’ll ask you out again in no time. I mean goddamn have you watched him on Walking Dead. I’d kill to have that sexy as fuck man kissing me.” “Maybe I should watch the show?” “I don’t know. Maybe it’s better you haven’t, I bet he likes that you don’t treat him like royalty.” “Yeah far from it. I’m kind of a bitch.” “No you aren’t. You’re sarcastic and hilarious.” Arias phone beeped and she saw another call coming in. “I gotta go I’m getting another call, it might be Javie. Talk to you later?” “Definitely. And give Jeffie a sloppy kiss for me.” “By bitch.” “Night, night Hooker.” “Hello?” Aria asked after switching lines. A throat cleared and the deep voice she’d enjoyed all night asked, “I didn’t wake you did I?” “Nope. What’s up? Did you forget your imaginary hat again?” His laugh echoed from the little phone speaker and he replied, “No darlin’. I didn’t forget my imaginary hat.” “Well that’s good because I’m seriously considering pretending to staple it to your damn head.” Snorting, Jeffrey chuckled again and sighed. “You’re a funny girl you know that?” “Thank you. Now I thought you were driving to Atlanta?” “I am. You’re on speaker phone.” “Are you alone?” “My assistants here. Say “hi” to Craig.“ "Hello, Craig.” “Good evening Ma'am.” “Oh Jesus. Do I sound that old because just so you know Jeff’s the one with graying hair, not me.” “Hey now, are you calling me old?” “More like a silver fox.” Another laughed echoed and Jeffrey commented, “You see what I mean?” “Oh god have you been talking about me?” “Only good stuff dollface.” He replied before adding, “look I wanted to call and ask and I know you’ll probably say no but I wanted to offer it. Just in case, I mean.. I’d hate to not and then-..” “Jeff, spit it the fuck out.” “I was thinking I could fly you out to LA for a couple days. For the con.” “Oh.” She replied, chewing her lip in thought before answering, “as much as I would love too, I really can’t with just coming back. I’m sorry.” “Hey don’t be sorry. It was a longshot. I just… I enjoyed our time together and was feeling greedy.” He replied with a gruff laugh, Aria pictured him smiling bashfully. “Well, you’ll be back soon right?” she offered, her voice hesitant. “It’s looking like four days in LA and then a quick trip to New York for Norman’s new gallery opening.” “That’s fun.” “It should be. You could come to that if you want.” “Jeff.” “I know, I know.” He chuckled, before sighing deeply in resignation. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be, like I said I was feeling greedy. Anyways I’ll be back in six days.” “Okay. Well, when you get back I’ll cook dinner.” “Well that’s an offer I can’t resist.” “Good. Now I’m going to bed. Text when you get time.” “Will do sweetheart.” He replied, before adding. “Don’t work too hard.” “Yeah right. I’m not sure there’s any other way.” “Ditto. Good night Aria.” “Safe travels, Jeff.”

Find Chapter Five here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/162178674716/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-five

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I'm still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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[julystorms]

Seriously, that chapter fucking destroyed me. The manga doesn’t ever really elicit strong emotional response for me, but that panel where we see him asking who did this just fucks me up every time. The poor kid is so fucking upset his best friends convinced him that everything would be alright, and yet they knew what was going on the whole time. Like, Jesus man. I was really hoping he’d get something going on against Zeke too, but that never came to be. Also, Hange’s ...

expression in that scene, and then the cut away to when she was stabbing Bean (or Sonny? I cba to remember which is which lmao)… Ugh. When Levi tells Connie good work too? Like, he only needed to take one look at the kid’s face to realize he’s gone through hell for the last week or so. All of that characterization was just so great to me, but it just never came to fruition.

That part of the series was when it was still good, imo. Like some iffy things had happened but they hadn’t culminated in a massive shitball, yet. Mike’s squad was still alive and it didn’t feel like 15 people existed in the Survey Corps as soldiers. Gelgar and Lynne tried to comfort Connie but I think (ymmv ofc) that they had figured it out–that titans were once people. The group’s comments on the way the houses were destroyed (inside-out) makes it pretty obvious, so it’s not like they’d be hard-pressed to stumble upon the truth but still. 

See also Nanaba at this period of time. Everyone all like “she’s so sweet and loving!!” bitch please did you see her in that chapter? COLD AS ICE. “Shut the fuck up Ymir you’re a soldier you signed up for this stop whining NO YOU MAY NOT RETREAT.”

And the best part, of course, was Connie. Reiner saving him, getting hurt in the process, Connie thinking they’re friends, and then the betrayal. They knew the whole time. (I think as an adult Connie would reflect back on this with more understanding–assuming he lives–but in his current state you know he’s terrified and sad, and probably a little angry, too. But no, it’s all about Eren’s anger and validating Eren, so Connie gets shoved away.) I was glad Levi recognized Connie’s efforts, though, understood him. Someone needed to.

And Hange’s memories, too, of course, about her titan experimentation. She is legitimately horrified! Fandom likes to giggle about her titan obsession but it’s really an obsession for knowledge. We know her personal goal is for everyone to feel safe, and her research in eliminating titans/understanding titans will be able to do that. Turns out all this time she’s been working on what are essentially human subjects. Fucking horrifying? Gut-twisting. Like this revelation impacts her character more than anyone else’s I think because she has had a hand in it–in the bad things that have happened on her end.

(Makes me wonder if Erwin’s dad’s theory isn’t one of the reasons he tried refusing the research in the first place–afraid the theory would be proven true and that research would screw everyone up pretty bad.)

Connie swore revenge but we’ve really gotten nothing from him. He’s just there in the background quietly existing. I mean, I’m glad he’s not dead (yet) but I’m incredibly disappointed that he hasn’t contributed much to the story, emotionally or otherwise, in a long ass time.

[supernatural-firstwatch]

Season 7 Episode 1: Meet the New Boss

Not gonna lie. After binge watching SPN for 6 straight seasons, I needed a bit of a break. :)

- LOL! “Sam, you have nothing to say to me. You have stabbed me in the back.” Quite literally.

- Oof, Sam is NOT doing well. 

- DAMN! Cass just killed a shit ton of angels! 

- *CACKLES!* TRENCH COAT ON A TORTILLA!!! LOOOOOL!!!! Clear allusion to the Jesus on a toast. 

- Sam you are such a fucking liar you are 100000% not fine at all and you’re totally fucking losing it. You’re hearing noises and chain rattling. 

- Cass just changed the image of Jesus in the Church’s window to a picture of himself. Also, what was up with the whispering that was clearly affecting him? 

- Man, Sam is hallucinating! WHAT THE HELL IS DEAN WEARING??? What’s with the blue jump suit?? Is he working at a garage shop? 

- *CACKLES MADLY!!!!* CROWLEY IS LIVING OUT OF A TRAILER COVERED IN ANTI-ANGEL SIGILS!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!! Too bad that’s not going to keep Cass out since, as he put it, he’s no longer an angel. “Bollocks.” LOL!

- Uh huh. Cass’s vessel is starting to crack under all that power. 

- URGH! SAM’S HALLUCINATIONS/NIGHTMARES ARE AWFUL!!! 

- LOL!!! “I just pray to God it’s true.” “We need to come up with a new saying for that.”

- AWH!!! Sam was going to tell them he’d started to hallucinate/get nightmares but then he walked in on Dean being a worrywart and just wanting Sam to be okay, and now Sam is just going to try and hide it! And it’s just going to be such a shit show!!!

- HAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Crowley called Sam a Giraffe. I love all these jokes and references to his height. LOL! 

- Man, Cass ain’t looking so hot. At that rate, you’re gonna wear out that skin, Cass. Cass is hearing voices. OH! They’re the souls he “consumed!” OH GROSS IT’S LIKE FUCKING ALIENS!!! THAT’S A HAND TRYING TO BREAK THROUGH HIS SKIN!!!

- GREY POUPON IS WHAT POPPED INTO YOUR HEAD, DEAN??? WHAT EVEN??

- Oooops!!! Cat’s out of the bag, Sam. Death ratted you out. I’m sure Dean’s going to be having a talk to you about that later.

- OMG Dean. “Why should I?” “Because we said so and we’re the boss of you. I mean, respectfully.” 

- “Annoying little Protozoa aren’t they?” *CACKLES!!!!* I LOOKED UP WHAT A PROTOZOA IS! “ Informal term for single-celled eukaryotes, either free-living or parasitic, which feed on organic matter such as other microorganisms or organic tissues and debris.”

- WE’RE INTRODUCING THE LEVIATHANS!!! I’VE HEARD ABOUT THOSE! I heard that they take on the form of Sam and Dean and just go around causing trouble for the boys. Including robbing a bank at some point, which is also where Jared’s embarrassing onset injury happened with the hot shell casings. LOL!

- Well, looks like Death might agree about needing to bring down Cass? I really love Death. I hope he keeps showing up. 

- Holy shitballs, Cass! You just killed everyone in the Senator’s re-election campaign! 

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! DEAN IS GOING TO GO WATCH SOME HENTAI!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, that was a sad conversation between the two of them. About Sam not telling him about the hallucinations. And he was going to, but then he saw how stressed out Dean was and he just didn’t want to stress him out even more especially about something that he couldn’t even do anything about. But that’s the problem with Sam. It seems like he just doesn’t learn that Dean would rather know and not be able to help than be lied to. 

- Awh. Sam trying to reach Cass. LOL! AND THEN REFUSING THE DRINK UNLESS DEAN TURNS OFF THE HENTAI! 

- CASS CAME!!!

- AWH MAN! You really sent the guy that’s been having hallucinations to go get the one ingredient that you need to open the portal when it’s stored in a dark and dingy place that’s bound to set him off? And look how little there is of it! And there’s Lucifer... NO!!! THAT’S AWFUL!!!! FUCKING HALLUCINATING LUCIFER THAT THEN TRIES TO CONVINCE SAM THAT HE’S STILL IN HELL AND THAT EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND HIM IS THE HALLUCINATION!!!! 

- NOW THEY DECIDE TO GO CHECK WHERE SAM IS??? WITH JUST A COUPLE OF MINUTES LEFT??? Well... At least Sam left the blood behind? Fuck, where the hell did he go now? 

- Ooops, the Leviathans decided to hang out on Earth! 

- HAH!  MISHA!!! OMG!!! Him acting like a Leviathan is awesome! 

Well, I hope the Leviathans as the evil entities of season 7 make up for season 6 :) They’re already quite promising! 

[moonprincess92]

Rebelcaptain fic: A bad idea

“Ok, this is bloody ridiculous,” Jyn finished her drink, before slamming it down onto the coffee table in front of them. “Let’s just have sex.”

Cassian choked on his beer. 

IE: the friends with benefits fic we all need (wc: 11631) Read on AO3 

“This is so stupid!” Jyn exclaimed, throwing up her hands in indignation. “The police are literally still after them and they think that this is a good time to fuck?”

“It’s for the aesthetic,” Cassian deadpanned, before smirking a little. “It’s a blockbuster spy movie, Jyn. I wouldn’t think about it too hard.”  

She snorted, taking a gulp of the beer that each of them were working on as they watched together. Slumped down on the battered sofa that Jyn had initially bought in a second-hand furniture shop for 10 quid, her legs were stretched out over Cassian’s lap, his non-beer arm resting over them. Naturally, on screen the moderately-famous actors were descending into sensual jump cuts with less and less clothes, breathy kisses and dramatic music.

“Did the lighting department go on strike when they shot this scene?” Jyn muttered. Cassian laughed and hushed her in response, leaning over to hit her shoulder.

She had to suppose, though, that for all its dramatics, it actually wasn’t a badly shot scene. You know, in comparison. She titled her head slightly, eyebrows furrowing as the actors rolled on the hotel bed, the two moaning and kissing and exchanging equally blissful looks at what was clearly supposed to be the moment of penetration.

Oh, blimey. 

Look, maaaaybe it was the late hour. Maybe it was the beer. Hell, maybe it was the fact that Jyn hadn’t had sex for an utterly abysmal amount of time, but for whatever reason … she found herself kind of getting into it. She glanced at her flatmate, before hastily turning her attention back to the screen. There weren’t any porn-level screams or impossible positions, just shadowy movements and the occasional naked arse, but the music was swelling to emphasise their deep emotional connection and yes, she was getting sort of turned on. Her skin under Cassian’s hand suddenly felt uncomfortable and simultaneously like it was on fire. For several minutes she forced herself not to squirm at the familiar ache, especially when the scene finally came to its dramatic climax (so to speak).

… but that was when she felt the unmistakable bulge under her calf.

She snatched her legs away quickly, exchanging slightly mortified looks with Cassian next to her. He took a rather large gulp of his drink.

“Shit, sorry,” he winced. 

“Eh, we’re flatmates,” Jyn just shrugged into her beer. “I’ve seen you in your underwear before, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Somehow, they went back to silence. As police sirens interrupted the post-coital bliss on screen and the movie progressed into yet another frantic chase scene, Jyn sighed in frustration. She watched with a kind of blankness that was the best one could ever achieve when ridiculously turned on with no immediate outlet. Even worse, Cassian was clearly a ball of tension next to her and though neither of them said anything, the heat had to be coming off them both in waves. Her skin was crawling, but leaving the room would only make it even more obvious about what she wanted to do. 

Wait, what were the people on screen even saying?

“Ok, this is bloody ridiculous,” Jyn finished her drink, before slamming it down onto the coffee table in front of them. “Let’s just have sex.”

Cassian choked on his beer.

“I’m – I’m s-sorry?” he coughed.

“We clearly both want it!” Jyn pointed out. “We’d be doing a favour, helping each other out, so to speak.”

“How much beer have you had?”

Maybe she had been hitting it too hard. Either that or she was suffering from temporary insanity, because what else would explain her sudden need to fuck her otherwise completely platonic flatmate? She noticed a red tinge creeping up his face and oh god, what had she just done?! This was the kind of nightmare that she was about to start awkwardly laughing through any second now. Quick, just blame the movie because Jesus Christ, Jyn, you really have fucked up this time! When you found a mate who was willing to let you back in the building at two in the morning when you forgot your keys, would cook you life-saving Mexican food during quarter-life crisis’s, and would even drag you home from the club on their back, it was just a RULE: you kept your goddamn genitals faaaar away from each other.

She was a terrible person.

“I – I’m sorry,” she cringed. “God, I know it’s insane of me to even suggest–”

He suddenly lunged across the sofa.

He crushed his lips to hers, and her brain short-circuited entirely. Holy shitballs. She let out a kind of strangled gasp as heat engulfed her. She didn’t know where the hell this was coming from but then again, she didn’t know where her earlier bout of insanity had come from either (now that she was thinking about it, perhaps there was something in the beer after all?). The movie carried on behind them, neither knowing nor caring about what was happening anymore as she clutched at his shirt, his fingers having snarled in her ratty hair. She didn’t know whether she wanted to climb into his lap or have him pin her to the sofa – both had their appeals – but before she could make a decision, he was pulling back.

“I’m – I’m good for us to help each other out if you are?” She shivered at his breath against her throat.

“Oh, I’m good,” she answered.

In the end, he made the decision for her. She was pushed back into the sofa cushions, a leg between hers and his tongue drawing out sounds that quite honestly she hadn't known she could still make. She groaned into his mouth as he bunched up her jumper and t-shirt, his hands painfully freezing against her belly. Somewhere, her brain kept yelling, Jyn. JYN, WHAT THE FUCK. This is Cassian!  Cassian was taking off her shirt, Cassian was running his hands over her breasts, this was the same Cassian that she’d first met five years ago when he’d answered her ‘flatmate-wanted’ ad and had accidentally thought Bodhi was her boyfriend … CASSIAN! They were mates, they weren’t supposed to kiss each other like this or stroke each other like that, but ohhhhhh, her brain had clouded over.

Hello, impending orgasm.

In comparison to the on screen couple, theirs was no beautiful love scene. He nearly fell off the sofa trying to get his jeans off. She’d definitely not worn the right kind of underwear this morning. She was definitely cringing at the face she made when he pushed into her, but then oh god, oh god, he was moving and it took roughly 3 more seconds to not give a shit. Her fingers clutched at the skin of his back, legs hitched around him. Outside their tiny flat, all she could hear was the abysmal London rain still pouring, the dwindling day growing darker by the second.

It might’ve been romantic if the TV hadn’t still been booming with explosions and gunshots in the background.

By the time she was lying out of breath and thoroughly sated underneath him, the movie had apparently wound down to its final credits. One arm was splayed out over the edge of the sofa, but the other still rested against his back, Cassian’s face hidden in her neck. A part of her really, really wanted to panic right about then, but that was when he looked up and met her eye. He started grinning … and that was it. She fucking lost it.

They both burst into utter hysterics.

They laughed together until their sides were sore and tears were in their eyes. Jyn covered her face with her hands, moaning into them,

“Oh god. Goooood, Cassian!”

“Trust me, I know.”

“OK. Ok … well,” she grinned, trying to get herself back under control. “Thanks for, erm … doing me a favour.”

“Likewise.”

“I will never mention this again if you don’t?”

“Agreed,” Cassian nodded.

Eventually, they got their sniggers and breathing back down to normal levels. Unfortunately, when it died down it kind of morphed into a very awkward pause. Not that she had a problem with him still being on top of her – the weight was something she’d forgotten, something that for some reason right now was comforting, rather than crushing – but honestly Jyn couldn't remember the last time she’d been fucked quite like that. It was very possible that she’d lost all feeling in her body.

“Sorry,” she mentioned. “but are you planning on moving at all? Because I think my arse is going numb …”

“About that,” Cassian admitted. “I’ve realised that I don’t really know how to without it being weird. Like … could you not look or something …?”

Jyn kind of wanted to yell at him we are completely naked! but she got it. They would somehow have to get up while still flushed, sweaty and in a state of undress that was somehow altogether different from the few times that they had accidentally stumbled into the bathroom while the other was in the shower. But this was Cassian. If he could help her study through failed years of university, if she could make dinner every second night without burning something and if they could still be friends even after that time she had thrown up on his shoes after a night out, then they could suck it up and do this.

She tried not to smile too much as they eventually pulled their clothes back on.

Jyn  Help me  I’m going to die  

Ya, but I’m assuming u mean ur gonna die sooner than u thought, right?

Kay wont stop playing disco music  His desk is right next to mine It’s been going on 4 hrs now 

That’s what u get for making friends with a robot lol

What do I get for making friends with you?

Resting bitch face and the occasional shitty coffee made for free [crying/laughing emojis] 

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB

Lol like that’s gonna happen

You literally hate it

We live in LONDON, I can’t afford to quit  

You could go back to uni

If I can’t afford to quit a shitty waitressing job, I certainly can’t afford to go back to uni, wtf is wrong with u [picture of a generic white person looking sad with outturned pockets] 

Would u please stop sending me memes Seriously

Sorry, it’s the only way I know how to show affection

My life was never the same after I met u 

…

Ok look, I just need to make sure bc im going a little crazy over it, but … we’re ok, right?

Why the hell wouldn’t we be ok?

COME ON Can u not be jyn for just 5 seconds or something please The other day   

Oh right I thought u were talking about some other time we had sex Sorry Yeah cassian, we’re ok Don’t think the sofa is, but we are  

Lmao Like I know we agreed to not talk about it but… 

No, it’s fine. We’re fine Let’s just go out and get hammered tonight ok? I could certainly do with it after my day 

[grin emoji] Ok I’ll buy the beer When do you finish your shift?

 “There’s my favourite girl!” Han yelled at her once she’d walked through the door. “Be a dear and help a man out?”

“Fuck off, mate!” Jyn called back, snatching a packet of salt from a nearby table and lobbing it at his head.

The pub owner laughed, ducking the projectile easily. She didn’t care if no one else was here yet, she would get started without them if that was the case. Han would totally look out for her. The man was admittedly an arsehole at best, but when you’d seen each other naked before, one did tend to let bygones be bygones. Besides, they’d only slept together a handful of times before he’d gone and met the love of his life, and that had been that had been the end of it, really.

… not that Leia Organa actually wanted anything to do with Han Solo, but the gesture of not sleeping with anyone else had been rather thoughtful, in Jyn’s opinion.

“Rough day?” he asked her as she dropped unceremoniously onto a stool at the bar.

“If you ID me on purpose again, I’m going to kill you.”

“So it was that bad,” Han slammed a glass in front of her. “Would you like OJ with your vodka?”

“Maybe a splash.”

It didn’t take long for the pub to start blurring, despite the fact that she was sitting still. Alcohol always made her a little giddy, a little too prone to oversharing, and it was around drink number four when Jyn was waving off his inquiries to whether she was ok once more. “Noooo, no, no, no, it wasn’t that bad, I swear!” she insisted. “Just my boss is a prick, insane customers, that kindaaa thing.”

“Sweetheart, I’ve always told you to just come work for me,” Han rolled his eyes.

“And work nights? Spend my time getting hit on by students wearing Primarmi? You’re full of wonderful ideas!” Jyn snorted. “And you wonder why Leia won’t even give you the time of day.”

“I’m working on it!” he said, hotly.

“Maybe if you didn’t act like such a wanker around her.”

“Gee, it’s a wonder you’re still single. When was the last time you even had sex, Jyn?” Han rolled his eyes, letting the glass scrape across the bar as he took it away from her. She whined as he peered at said glass in amusement. “This has to be a record,” he added. “I’m cutting you off and PC Plod's not even here yet.”

“I love that you call 'im that, the Brits have been influencin' you,” Jyn teased.

“Never,” Han drawled.

“But shhhhhh,” Jyn suddenly flung herself over the bar to grab at Han’s shirt sleeve. Had it been even one drink ago, she honestly would have recognised what a Terrible Idea it was to mention literally anything! But she was currently at four-drinks Jyn, and four-drinks Jyn was prone to recklessness and damning all the consequences. “I have to tell someone,” she focused very seriously on his face. “You can’t – don’t tell anyone this, especially not Bodhi – but I might’ve slept with PC Plod, ok?”

Han stared at her a moment.

“… boy, Enid Blyton did not see that one coming.”

“It’s crazy, right? It’s crazy!” Jyn flung up her hands, nearly knocking the last of her confiscated drink out of Han’s hands. She dropped back onto her bar stool heavily. “We didn’t mean for it to happen, it sort of just … did. But fuck, it was good. Oh shit, I think I kind of want to do it again, but he’s my bloody roommate, like tell me this is a bad idea, Han!”

“… it’s a bad idea.”

“See! Thank you,” Jyn kissed her hand, before slapping Han’s face with it lightly. “Now tell that to my vagina.”

“You’re a delight. More vodka? Oh also, you might wanna warn the vaj,” Han nodded somewhere over her shoulder. “he just walked in.”

Jyn nearly fell off her stool. Luckily, Cassian was close enough to leap forward the last few feet and catch her elbow before she could face plant. “I see you started without us,” he smirked. “Bodhi and Luke not here yet?”

She shook her head. “No Kay, either?”

“I killed him four and a half hours into my shift.”

Jyn laughed. “Catch any bastards today?”

“Responded to a few calls, nothing major,” he shrugged.

Jyn watched, her head planted firmly in her hands, elbows on the bar top, as Cassian settled onto the stool next to her. It was bloody insane. She would have to be blind drunk to even suggest it, which is what worried her in the first place, but the fact remained that despite her shitty job, despite her abandonment issues, debilitating student loan and general lack of self-worth, she was … kind of happy. She almost hadn’t recognised it. She had gotten so used to the pressure clogging her throat that the sudden disappearance of it the last few days had been something almost of a shock. She attempted to listen as Cassian and Han made small talk. Admittedly, Cassian hadn’t ever exactly gotten along with Han Solo (probably something to do with that the first time they’d ever met was when Han had spent the night and they’d both awkwardly tried to use the bathroom at the same time). But these days they could thankfully chat a lot more civilly, and Jyn might have listened except that practically all sounds had been muted.

She shouldn’t even be considering it. It was the worst idea she’d ever had (and she’d made some pretty bad decisions over the last 25 years of her life). But she kept replaying the sofa over and over, thinking that if that was the first time, imagine how good they could get if they did it a second, third or even a fourth time.

It was just sex.

It didn’t have to be complicated, right?

Hey, where tf are you? Bodhi and Luke are making out again I need help  

Tpiltts Tiolets TOILETS I’ve gone to the loo Wanna gte outta here?

Lmao, ok stay put I’m coming to get u

No no no noononnooo Cass I mean do u wanba GET OUTTA HERE Get off Go back 2 my pl Well our plce HAVE SES SXE Adfssj U know what I mean 

I’m here I know what u mean

He slammed her up against their front door. His lips were hot as they moved to her neck, sucking the spot behind her ear that he had apparently learned about last time. His fingers tugged on her hair, keeping her right where he wanted her as her hands traversed his sides. They slid against his skin under his shirt, down, down, and thank god that, ok, at least this time they could actually blamed it on the alcohol.

“You’re laughing,” he complained against her neck.

“Your beard tickles,” she sniggered.

“You didn’t complain last time.”

“Cassian, this isn’t me complaining,” Jyn pointed out. “Trust me, you’d KNOW if I was – ohhh god,” she suddenly groaned as his teeth lightly grazed at her collar bone. “St – stay there – yeah, there–”

He seemed only too happy to oblige her for the moment. For several minutes, there was silence down their corridor, save only for their breathing and frantic fumbling for either one’s set of keys. By the time they managed to stumble inside, slamming the door behind them, she had already gotten his jacket off and shirt open, and there were the beginnings of a bruising mark decorating her neck.

Jyn could barely think over the buzzing in her head. The flat swirled around them, her heart thrumming. His chest was hard under her hands and she kissed him sloppily, deeply, whimpering when he bent down and grabbed her thighs. Legs around his waist, he hastily traversed through the otherwise dark and empty flat. It took her a moment to notice that it was her bed they were drunkenly stumbling into, but it made sense.

Hers was the closest to the front door, after all.  

He engulfed her, pressing her back into the mattress. It was a gasping, fumbling rhythm, hindered by incoordination and desperation, but what they lacked in finesse they certainly made up for in enthusiasm. Finally, they made each other fall over the edge, her toes digging into the sheets and stars exploding somewhere behind her eyes. 

Cassian’s head fell onto her shoulder. Jyn felt her chest meet his with every breath, their skin sticking together. It left her itching and kind of wanting more, but shit they were such a mess. She needed to move, but Jyn was also aware that her drunk, sated arse was definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. She wasn’t quite sure where he went, but his body was suddenly being replaced with her duvet and the softness did her in. She was out cold within seconds.

She woke in the morning – like usual – regretting all her life decisions up until that point. She protested as the light hit her eyes through the windows, but thankfully, Cassian was suddenly there with tea in front of her.

“Oh … bless you,” she moaned, half-heartedly dragging herself upright so that she could accept it. Cassian had always proudly held onto his love of coffee, despite having lived outside of Mexico for apparently nearly 10 years now, yet he still took the time to make her tea. She glanced up at him in his underwear and looking barely any better than she no doubt did. She might’ve given a shit about the fact that she was still practically naked as well, but considering the things that they’d done, it seemed a little late for that.

“I found your phone,” he mentioned, tossing the device over to her.  

“Thanks,” Jyn said, flicking quickly through the notifications. Nothing major, just a few unflattering photos from last night to immediately un-tag herself from and threaten Kay into soon deleting. She dropped her phone next to her, trying to keep her eyes on her tea instead of the bare chest that was still standing in front of her. She didn’t quite know where he’d gone last night. Her bed didn’t look slept in apart from herself, but it had never bothered them before to share when the situation had called for it. Was it bad form to ask? Oh, this was making her head hurt more.

Thankfully, before she could truly work herself up into a good Panic, he clambered over her legs and settled down next to her. She smiled a little, handing him his coffee without him needing to even ask.

“So I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it …” he warbled.

“Yeah,” Jyn wrinkled her nose. “Look, last night was all me, I am so sorry–”

“Did you like it?”

Jyn shot him a look from over her mug. “I mean … yeah, yes, I liked it.”

“Then don’t be sorry. I liked it, too.”

They were both grinning now. However, frustration over the whole situation won out and she fisted a hand into her hair. “UGH, why does this have to be so complicated?” she complained. “Like, we’ve got something here! It feels good, we both like it, but this is the worst idea imaginable–”

“Is it really?” Cassian said into his coffee casually.

Jyn turned and punched his arm. “Trust me when I say you don’t want to fall in love with me, mate.”

Cassian snorted. “Oh, I remember what happened to your last boyfriend. I know.”

“You make it sound like I killed him,” Jyn whined.

“Didn’t you text me at 2am once to ask how often the police pulled out bodies from the Thames?”

“Arsehole, that was purely theoretical,” Jyn insisted.

“How is Scott, these days?”

“Dunno, haven’t heard from him since we broke up,” Jyn said.  

He pinched her arm a little. “Look,” he said. “this honestly doesn’t have to be as complicated as we’re thinking. You don’t want a relationship and I really don’t have the time. But as it turns out, we have pretty great sex for two people who are just friends, soooo …”

“Ok, I’m going to stop you RIGHT THERE,” Jyn pointed out. “because I know exactly where this is going and for the record, it won’t work. I’ve seen the movie! Not the one with Ashton Kutcher, the other one.”

“Oh, with Mila Kunis?”

“That’s it!” Jyn nodded. “If we start regularly sleeping together, I know exactly how it’s going to go! We’ll try and keep it casual, friends with benefits or whatever, but soon we’ll start to get in over our heads. One or both of us will catch feelings that neither of us are prepared to handle, and it will all eventually end with it blowing up in our faces and one of us being forced to move out! We can’t risk it.”

Cassian sighed. “Ah, shit. You’re right.”

“I know. Damn it,” Jyn grumbled. “but what if … nah, forget it.”

“What?”

“No, don’t listen to me!” she said. “Hell, I’m probably still a little drunk, I definitely don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Jyn.”

He always knew how to get stuff out of her. Maybe it was the whole cop thing, maybe it was just a Cassian thing. But just like the time he’d managed to get her talking when she’d finally broken down and admitted that she was quitting uni, his eyes bored into her until she found herself blurting out,

“Ok, but WHAT IF … we agree to do this,” She ignored the slight thrill at the thought. “but only until one of us starts developing feelings. When that happens, we stop.”

He considered.

“Deal.”

“Wait,” Jyn practically spluttered on her tea. “Just like that?!”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “Those rules seem pretty clear. We get to sleep together until the first sign of emotions, then we stop. Our friendship remains intact, and we get amazing sex out of it, what’s the down side?”

“I’m serious,” Jyn warned. “I can’t … I love you like I’d love any flatmate, Cassian, but I really can’t do another relationship.”

“I get it,” Cassian answered. “Open and honest, and this will work!”

Jyn couldn’t believe she was agreeing to this.

“Open and honest.”

“So we’ve agreed?”

“I … think we have.”

Cassian reached out and squeezed her knee through the duvet. “Cool.” 

You want pizza for dinner?

Are you literally texting me from your room? Seriously?

I’m lazy Do u want pizza? 

Pizza’s good with me

Brill Also do u want a bj im kinda feeling it 

Pizza and a blow job? What did I do to deserve you?

[Picture of Barney Stinson with the text ‘I’m awesome’]

Again with the memes

If she’d known all along that this is what it would feel like to have Cassian Andor inside her on a regular basis, she might’ve done this years ago.

Yeah, she’d always kind of assumed that he’d be an excellent lay. It was hard not to when their bedrooms shared a wall and they had spent the last five years that they’d lived together teasing each other through it. He would blast out mood-killing songs whenever she brought someone over, and she would always smack the wall back in response and yell out, “Oh yes!” dramatically, that kind of thing. But Jyn had always kind of thought that he was just showing off the rare times he’d brought someone home. That she was just overestimating his abilities, talking it up in her head … except it turned out that he had a wicked tongue that could send a thrill through her in a heartbeat, and well.

“Ok, so let me recap–” She gasped into his mouth, having pressed him up against the hallway wall. “Don’t like being tickled, yes to doing it rough–?”

“Open, I said I was open to it,” Cassian reiterated, reaching down to grope her arse. “I mean – if you–?”

“Oh, I’m definitely into it,” Her kisses were open-mouthed, hungry; she wanted to leave marks this time. “Like – don’t crack my skull open or something – but you know–” 

“Ok,” He raised a hand to cup the back of her head. Before she could catch her breath he suddenly moved, turning and slamming her up against the wall a little. He smothered her yelp with his mouth, hand sliding down out of her hair to rest against the side of her neck. Jyn clawed at his shoulders and he lifted her.

“This ok?” he murmured.

She smirked into his kiss. “Very ok.”

“How was your day?”

“I got yelled at for forgetting to use soymilk,” Jyn mentioned casually. “You?”

“I arrested someone for punching Kay in the face,” Cassian answered. “We were responding to a 999 call, he was fleeing the scene, honestly, what else would you expect? But Kay got there first, and you know what he's like when–” 

“Wait, wait, hang on–” Jyn had to stop him mid-sentence, clamping her thighs tight around his hips, halting their movements entirely. “I’m sorry, but you have to change the subject. Talking about Kay REALLY doesn't do it for me.” 

Cassian snorted with laughter into her neck and she shook her head in amusement. She at least got an eyeful of his sweaty chest as he leaned and rested his head back against the sofa with a thump. His arms remained slung around her, but no matter how into this Jyn had been minutes ago, she now couldn’t get the irritating face of Cassian’s damn work partner out of her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said, weakly. “Did you want to stop?” 

“The fuck are we stopping,” She rolled her eyes. “Just, I dunno, talk about something hot instead.”

“Jyn–” Cassian looked like he had choked a little. “You’re my best friend, I can’t tell you something like that!” 

“Cassian, for god’s sake,” Jyn pointed out. “now is not the time to be setting boundaries.”

He seemed to consider that for a moment. She knew that sometimes, they were still thinking too much with their heads about all this, about what they should and probably shouldn’t do, but damn it, she was supposed to be doing this because of the bonuses of not-thinking! Her hands had been resting against his chest as he leaned against the sofa, but now she let them move. She saw him gulp. “C’mon …” she murmured. She leaned in, nipping at his jaw. Her hands wandered up into his hair as she said, “just tell me that you like how wet I am or something.”

He swore in Spanish.

“What did that one mean?”

He shook his head. “JYN.”

“FINE,” Jyn sighed. “tell me about how you arrested this bloke instead?”

Incredibly, that one worked surprisingly well.

You have (1) deleted item:  

From: g.erso@cambridge.ac.uk Sent: Monday 12th June 2017 9:16pm To: jyn-erso@gmail.com Subject: Hi

Hi Stardust.

I understand that you still don’t like hearing from me but I just thought I should let you know that I’m going to be in London the next few weeks. It’s a research project I’m working on, I’m technically not allowed to say any details, but it’s really exciting work and I think you’d enjoy hearing about it.

I hope you are well, Jyn. Last time I heard directly from you, you had decided that university wasn’t for you. I hope that whatever you’re doing now, you’re happy and settled.

I’m sorry that things aren’t better or perfect. But I love you, Stardust.

Dad. 

My dad emailed again

Shit. Did you answer?

Lmao no He’s apparently in London Probs wants me to go and see him or something but that’s the thing, it’s always on his terms! I could go all the way to his fucking front doorstep but it wouldn’t make a difference cause only he apparently gets to dictate when and where he wants to be a goddamn father  Fuck sorry 

Jyn it’s fine Want me to go arrest him? I’m sure I could make something up 

[crying/laughing emojis] Sure thanks

Consider it done

“Hey, check this out,” she called from her perch on the kitchen bench, not looking up from her phone. “they say that people who have regular sex live longer.”

“Who says that?”

“The internet.”

“Well, I’m convinced.” Jyn threw a nearby junk mail magazine at him. Cassian battered it away easily from where it was his turn to cook that night and she barked out a laugh. Keeping each other company while the other cooked was a leftover tradition from when Bodhi had still lived with them and it wasn’t something they’d really moved on from yet, despite it being months now. Even though they saw each other literally all the time, Jyn still admittedly missed having her childhood best friend around all the time. She could only imagine what he’d have to say if he ever found out that they’d been sleeping together though, so it was probably better to focus on the positive sides.

Honestly, the bonus of being flatmates was that there were no logistics whatsoever to worry about! They could simply pick whoever’s bed happened to be the closest and no other flatmates meant that the rest of the flat was fair game (sorry Bodhi). And already being friends meant that Jyn didn’t have to care about being self-conscious when the lights were on, nor having to worry about sounding like she was dying when she was coming. Cassian had already seen her at her most pathetic 4am, crying and Netflix-binging state. 

Nothing could be worse than that, after all. 

“Cassian!” Kay’s voice piped up from the lounge, then. “I’m afraid to say that if Jyn is helping you cook tonight, I won’t be able to eat anything. I can’t risk food poisoning–”

“It’s like he’s not even human,” Jyn noted, swinging her head up to shoot Cassian a look.

He just shrugged like, what can you do?

Jyn glanced back over the kitchen bench and around the corner, to where she could see Cassian’s work partner currently huffing at being ignored, despite that literally all their friends were also currently lounging, chatting and laughing around him. She considered yelling out that they’d had sex right where Kay was sitting not even 6 hours ago, but then again, they hadn’t told their friends about them for a reason. Bodhi had always been an avid matchmaker, even before he’d asked Luke out, and he would have read way too much into it. Han would just be an arse about it and keep asking her whose dick was bigger. Leia would want every sordid detail and Kay … well, Kay would probably want to murder her.

No, it was easier just keeping this between themselves.

“What did I seriously ever do to make that man hate me?” Jyn grumbled, tucking her phone under her armpit as she folded her arms.

“You were your usual charming self,” Cassian noted.

“I don’t know why you’re being sarcastic, I’m a fucking delight.”

“Of course,” He turned to face her with a spoon in hand. “Right, Fucking Delight, make yourself useful and tell me if this tastes good–”

She gave a high-pitched mmm sound. “Well, with a hint of parsley–” 

“Oh, I don’t know why the hell I’m asking you,” Cassian said with deep resignation as Jyn pulled a face. He leaned over the bench next to her, calling out, “Kay! Please come take over Jyn’s job, she’s useless to me!”

“Of course she is,” she heard Kay mutter at once.

“If you think I'm putting out any time soon, you've got another thing coming,” Jyn threw back at Cassian quickly. 

“Naturally,” he just grinned. 

“For god’s sake, what’s got you so worked up about this?” Jyn might’ve laughed at the comedy of the situation if she hadn’t been so annoyed. There they were, both completely naked and yet still somehow yelling at each other from opposite sides of his bed. “It’s only doing it from behind and besides, it's perfect for us! You can’t even see my face, no emotions are involved whatsoever!”

“Jyn, c’mon! It’s almost too personal,” Cassian said in exasperation. “No, I can’t see your face, so you’d have to just believe that I’ll do it how you like. That’s … that’s a lot of trust to be putting in me.”

“Cassian, I let you put your dick in me,” Jyn said, scathingly. “I think it’s safe to say that I already trust you.”

“This is different!”

“HOW THE HELL IS THIS–?” Jyn had began, but soon broke off in a frustrated growl, closing her eyes. Unfortunately, she got it. They were already pretty close. They’d said that they’d only do this until they fell for each other, but she was starting to wonder now whether that was going to happen sooner than they’d originally thought. The two of them clicked. They worked in a way that was just chill and without stress, something that made her actually want to get through her shitty days so she could get back home to him.

She shook her head. 

“Ok, yeah,” she said, hastily. “I get it. Too personal. Wanna fuck me against the wall instead?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Im gonna watch a movie u wana join?

Which one?

Dunno......im thinking action lots of explosions, unnecessary sex scenes and big guns  

Well now, how can I say no Do we need more bathroom cleaner btw?   

Ya Toilet paper too

Got it Have you picked a movie yet?

I’ll wait til u get here Hey hey yyyyy Guess what colour underwear im wearing

Im standing in the frozen foods aisle, for christ’s sake

WRONG ANSWER It’s nothing I’m wearing nothing 

………jyn erso, are u seriously sexting me?

Is it working Our friendship is fucking ruined now isn’t it? 

I’m literally on my way home

Jyn’s knees hurt, but like hell was she moving any time soon. They probably shouldn’t have chosen the kitchen for this, it was hardly sanitary, but he’d started kissing her neck as they made dinner together and she’d ended up shoving him up against the bench. She’d started with his lips, but had steadily worked her way down, opening up his shirt and eventually his trousers until she’d gotten him right where she wanted him. One of his hands was fisted in her hair, but the other gripped the edge of the kitchen bench, his knuckles white. God, the noises that came from his mouth, it should be illegal or something –

“HEEEEY, GUYS! Just dropping off – wait –?” 

It apparently took Bodhi about half a second to realise what he was seeing. The sudden strangled yell from the entrance to the kitchen made her leap half a mile. She fell back on her arse as Cassian panicked, spinning around.

Bodhi slapped a hand over his eyes, a giant store-bought cake under his other arm.

“MY EYES!” he screeched. “GODDAMN IT GUYS, I CANNOT UNSEE THAT!”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Jyn cried. She hadn’t even heard the door open.

“It wasn’t so long ago that I used to live here too!” Bodhi removed his hand, but kept his eyes squeezed shut as he blindly reached out, trying to find the kitchen table. “Jesus Christ, it’s not even 3pm!”

“Bodhi–” Jyn rubbed her forehead warily, climbing up to her feet. Bodhi finally found the table. He dropped the cake onto it just as Cassian, who had been forced to hastily make himself decent, caught her eye and mumbled,

“Yeah, I’m just gonna …”

Jyn watched him leave with an almost amused look. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him run so quickly,” she mentioned.  

“So it's safe to look now, then?”

“Oh for god’s sake, Bodhi, we're adults aren't we?” Jyn rolled her eyes, kicking a chair out at the table for her to sink down onto. Bodhi thankfully let himself see again, tentatively sitting down next to her.  

“Look,” Bodhi grumbled. “I just didn’t expect to be seeing live porn when I walked in here, ok?”

“Sorry! Blimey,” Jyn said. “It’s not like we were expecting you bursting in, either … don’t worry,” she added in a huff at the look on his face. “It’s nothing serious or anything, we just … sleep together sometimes.”

Bodhi rubbed his eyes, looking like he’d just been told to believe that England would give up drinking tea for an entire year.

“Bloody hell, Jyn. Since when has THAT been happening?” he asked.

“Dunno,” Jyn shrugged. “Few months now?”

“Few MONTHS?” Bodhi threw up his hands. “That’s it! I don’t know why you lot even keep me around anymore, clearly as soon as I moved, it was out of sight, out of mind!”

“Shut up,” Jyn kicked him under the table. “There was nothing to really say!”

“I never thought you even liked him like that,” Bodhi said.

“It’s not about like!” Jyn said. “It’s about … look, turns out that we have pretty great sex and it was easy to just keep doing it. Don't think too hard, ok? There’s no emotions involved here.”

Bodhi just scoffed loudly. “OH, COME ON, that shit never works. Haven’t you seen the movies?” 

“That’s why we agreed to stop the second emotions did become involved,” Jyn said. “HA, see? We already covered this!”

But Bodhi was shaking his head, almost laughing now. “JYN. Oh, babe. Ok, so say you do keep doing this until that day you look at him and think ‘fuck, I’ve fallen for this bloke’. What makes you think that you’re going to want to stop sleeping with him at that point? Because I'd like to note that the brain isn’t all that great at being rational and logical when it’s being emotional.”

Jyn opened her mouth to immediately counter with her brilliant rebuttal … until she realised that she didn’t have one. Bollocks. She liked to think she’d do the rational thing and take that step back as planned – she was nothing, if not pragmatic – but Bodhi had planted that seed of self-doubt. It had been so long that she almost couldn’t remember what it even felt like. What if she fell and decided to fuck it all and never say anything? What if Cassian did? She couldn’t fall in love again, she had the same level of emotional intelligence as a goddamn lizard!

She couldn’t do it. Not with him.

Since her brain was screaming at her, it naturally made it the perfect time to ignore everything and simply wave off Bodhi’s point. “Since when have I ever been the emotional one?” she joked.

Bodhi only shook his head once more. “Just … shit, girl. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Yeeeeah, me too.

Jyn desperately cast around for a topic change, and noticed the cake then still sitting in its container inside the plastic bag between them. She nudged it and asked, “What’s this for, then?”

Bodhi stared incredulously. “… my birthday?”

“OH, SHITBALLS,” Jyn slammed a hand into her forehead. “I mean, I was honestly going to buy you a cake this time!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “don’t worry, I’ll act touched, just like every year.”

“I swear I’ll be onto it by the time you’re at least 30,” Jyn said, a little sheepishly.

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Arsehole.”

Bodhi grinned as he dodged a wadded up receipt that Jyn had lobbed at his head.

“Hey,” Jyn folded her arms as she leaned against the doorway to Cassian’s room. “you all right?”

“I’m never going to be able to look Bodhi in the eye again, but yes,” he answered without looking up from the computer on his lap.

Jyn laughed a little. “Yeah … sorry I was interrupted. Did you want me to come and take care of that, or …?”

“Don’t worry,” Cassian held up a hand. “I think the moment’s passed. But I appreciate it.”

“Bodhi was bringing round the cake for his birthday party tonight.”

“Honestly, Jyn, it’s the same every year. You had one job.”

“Well now, see Bodhi’s gotten so used to buying his own cake that if I did actually do it at this point, we’d end up with two cakes!” Jyn pointed out. “It’d be messing up the whole system.”

“Who says there’s anything wrong with two cakes?”

Jyn shrugged a little, before venturing in closer. She nudged Cassian’s shoulder, and he shifted over so that she could settle next to him. “What’re you watching?” she asked.

“Mediocre horror movie. I kind of needed something as unsexy as possible.”

“Are we talking slasher or more supernatural thriller?”

“Oh, there’s definitely a lot of blood.”

“Perfect.” She leaned against his shoulder and his arm rested comfortably over her thigh. They didn’t move for the rest of the B-grade gore fest. 

Hey Jyn, I’m assuming you’re on your way, but want to warn you that your dad has for some reason turned up to my party Jyn Jyn did u get this msg? ???? JYN UR DAD IS LITERALLY AT MY PARTY I DIDN’T INVITE HIM I DON’T KNOW WHY HES HERE BUT TEXT ME BACK JFC JYN

… 

Shit cass are u with jyn? Goddamn it look at ur phone! Her bloody DAD is here Thats it, I’m calling u  

When Jyn walked into the pub and saw her dad, she was certain that it was somehow her punishment for being caught sucking off her flatmate. 

“FUCK,” she exclaimed.

Leia was the one who noticed her first, glancing around curiously at her curse. Quite frankly, Jyn still didn’t know Leia Organa all that well. Their introduction had admittedly been back nearly three years ago now, the two of them introduced when Bodhi had first started going out with her brother, but they admittedly didn’t talk one-on-one that much. Hell, she still wasn’t entirely sure whether the woman actually knew that Jyn and Han had once had a thing before. It wasn’t exactly a secret and they hardly kept their shared past discreet, so Jyn suspected that Leia had probably decided that it was just better to not explicitly ask. Jyn met Leia’s gaze for all but two seconds, before deciding fuck it, and leaping towards her.

“Hide me!” Jyn cried.

“What’s going on?” Leia asked, staring at her in bemusement.

“The fuck if I know!” Jyn hastily pulled up the hood of her jacket, keeping her back to where Galen Erso was on the other side of the pub, sitting by himself rather awkwardly. “Tell me, do you also see the middle-aged bloke sitting alone at the bar? Dark hair, looks rather out of place?”

“Yes …?”

“Great, I’m not hallucinating then. That’s my DAD, Leia,” Jyn clamped her hand onto Leia’s arm. Whether it was for comfort or just in sheer panic remained to be seen. “Whom I have not seen for god knows how many years now, because he walked out on me and my mum when I was eight and half the time forgets to even send a birthday card, let alone remember I exist!”

“… well, this went in a direction I wasn’t expecting,” Leia said, a little blindsided. “Shit.”

“NO KIDDING.”

“Do you know what he’s doing here?”

“I deleted his email!”

“I … think we’re getting a little hysterical here, Jyn.”

“I just–” Jyn roughly yanked out her phone. “He messaged saying he was in London, but I really didn’t want to see him so I deleted it. Look–! Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jyn slammed her phone several times into her hand. “This decrepit thing turned itself off on me again!”

“Ok, ok,” Leia glanced over her shoulder as Jyn waited for her crappy phone to reboot itself for the billionth time. “Subtle observations indicate that … oh, he’s just seen Bodhi! Bodhi doesn’t look that shocked though, just making small talk now. I think he already knew he was here, he keeps looking at his phone …”

“Oh, Christ,” Jyn stared at her own phone suddenly coming to life in her hand. The dozens of messages and missed calls were flooding in. Surely half of them were from Bodhi trying to warn her. The log of missed calls told her that Cassian had apparently been trying to get a hold of her as well. Jyn was used to feeling screwed over by this point in her life, but the sudden reappearance of her father had thrown her for a loop. She felt like her chest was screaming. A little helplessly, she glanced up at Leia.

The other woman held herself up determinedly.

“What do you need me to do?” she asked at once. “I’ll lend you my jacket if you want to sneak out – or I’ll call Han and get him to chuck him out of here – or – I don’t know, do you even like hugs, or–?” She cut herself off in surprise as Jyn suddenly threw herself into Leia’s arms.

Normal people hugged and offered shoulders to cry on as a sign of friendship, but Jyn was woefully bad at showing affection for literally anybody aside from sending memes out of nowhere at 2am. But she’d never appreciated the woman in front of her more, and a hug just seemed like the thing to do. Leia startled, but wound her arms tight around her in return.

“Thank you,” Jyn muttered.

“Hey, no problem,” Leia said. She squeezed her one last time, before stepping back. “Just do me a favour and please never tell me whatever the hell it was that happened between you and Han, ok?”

“Deal,” Jyn snorted.

Fortunately, at that point, her phone rang again.

“Cassian,” she said at once.

“JYN!” Cassian’s voice was agitated with panic. “FINALLY! LISTEN, ARE YOU AT THE PARTY YET? DON’T GO TO INTO THE PUB–”

“Yeah, about that,” Jyn said. “Too late. But don’t worry, I know my dad is here.”

She heard Cassian mutter a few choice phrases under his breath. “I’m so sorry – look, I’m just arriving now, where are you? What do you want to do from here?”

“I’m with Leia, we’re near the – I SEE YOU!” She and Leia waved frantically at the front door, where Cassian had just arrived. Relieved, he hung up the phone and hurried toward them through the crowd. Watching him, Jyn realised that her inner Panic Mode had started subsiding the second Cassian had walked in. Leia apparently also noticed. She kept glancing between her face and Cassian’s, still struggling through the crowd.

“So you guys are still fucking …?” she asked casually.

“Yep.” 

“And you’re not in love with him?”

Jyn didn’t answer.

However, before Cassian could reach them, someone else apparently did. Jyn heard the voice behind her, heard her childhood nickname, and everything inside her spasmed. Please no. She didn’t want to do this, she didn’t have the strength for this. She turned warily to see that her father had found her.

He looked tired, but then again, he had as well on every other rare occasion that she’d seen him. More than tired, he had a heavy air, like something invisible was weighing him down but Jyn couldn’t afford to get sentimental here. A tiny part of her somewhere would always be that little eight-year-old who loved her papa and had begged him not to leave, but another would forcefully remind herself that no one should have to endure the radio silence she'd gotten in the years since. Yes, she wanted him back. She wanted to be able to talk to him, she wanted to understand, she wanted an actual father … but she couldn’t do it right now.

“I’m sorry, Star – Jyn,” he hastily used her name at the look on her face. “Jyn … I’m so sorry for intruding like this, I really am. But I remembered it was Bodhi’s birthday, and I saw on Facebook that he was having a party here, and I just wanted to see you–”

“If you’d wanted to see me, you would have said yes the million times I asked,” Jyn snapped back, beyond done. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Please, Jyn–”

“What’s happening?” Cassian burst in on the scene, practically skidding into her side. Leia, Jyn noticed, had subtly sneaked away and was currently yelling frantically at Han somewhere over the bar.

“Nothing,” Jyn quite firmly planted a hand on Cassian’s chest to keep him back. “He was just leaving.”

“I want us to talk, Jyn,” Galen said, desperately. “We haven’t properly talked in years, I feel like I’m losing you–”

Jyn let out a deserive snort of laughter. “Look, Dad. Who’s fault is it that we don’t talk? The only times I ever got to see you growing up was when it suited you. But I don’t care, I’m old enough that I don’t need you anymore,” She stared him down hard. “If we ever do actually talk again, it’s going to be when I want to, on my terms. If you push me, try contacting me at all, I swear you’ll never see me again. I know how to contact you if I want. Now, leave me, Bodhi, and my friends the HELL alone.” 

She didn’t know what reaction she’d get, honestly. It was probably the most defiant she’d ever been. Cassian still stood resolutely by her side, not saying anything, but obviously about a second away from defending her if all hell broke loose. Galen nodded clearly, his eyes a little lost.

“I understand. You won’t hear from me again,” he said, regret pinching his voice. “Please know, Jyn … if you ever call, I’ll always answer.”

He turned and left.

Bodhi was completely beside himself.

“I WAS FUCKING PANICKING, I’M SO SORRY!” he kept yelling over and over, at least until Jyn could get a few drinks in him. “I saw him and he was making small talk and telling me happy birthday, and I didn’t know how to throw him out without making a scene and–”

“It’s fine! Bodhi, it’s fine,” Jyn threw an arm around his shoulders, shoving a pint into his hands. “I told him to leave and he did, it’s all ok – besides, we can’t let this ruin your birthday!” 

There were thankfully cheers and chinks of glasses all around then, the dramatic Erso Family Tension slowly being forgotten as the night went on in favour of celebrating Bodhi’s birthday in excitement. Yes, maybe Jyn got a little more than just blind drunk, but quite honestly, she hadn’t felt so uplifted in years! Leia pulled her out to dance several times, the two clinging to each other to remain upright. Han’s bar converted a raised stage area into a space for dancing at a certain hour, which was a little dangerous in that Luke fell off it several times, but Bodhi was thankfully always there to catch him. At one point, Han came out from behind the bar and whispered into Leia’s ear, earning a smack and a dance in rapid fire. As she was swept up, Jyn suddenly felt arms wrap around her from behind. She clung on gratefully as the popular tunes got turned up.

“Hey – heeeey – thank you,” she yelled over the music.

“For what? I didn’t do anything!” Cassian said back. 

“’zactly,” Jyn turned her head, except the movement made it swirl and it nearly knocked her off her feet. She tipped over slightly and Cassian’s strong arms had to haul her back upright. Jyn’s face had gone bright red as she slurred, “You din’t try an’ fight my fight for me … you backed me – had my – back? I jus’ mean you stood and din’t try defen’ my honor, or whatever the fuckin’ …” She had absolutely no idea what she was saying. Just that the man with his arms currently around her was one of the most decent human beings she’d ever met.

(She didn’t kiss him.

But god, she wanted to).

Hahahahhha, she wasn’t spiralling! Noooooooo.  

(Maybe if she kept telling herself that over and over again, she’d eventually believe it).

She watched Cassian desperately from the kitchen doorway. 

Regular sex had obviously been good for her. Even Bodhi had (reluctantly) commented that both she and Cassian had seemed less stressed lately, that their skin had cleared and that their crops had been watered, or whatever the fuck. Apparently, finding out about them had made a lot suddenly make sense. Jyn felt it. Somehow, her job had gone from Fucking Unbearable, to Still Made Her Want to Die, But Admittedly Kind of Tolerable Now. It was amazing what a good orgasm or two could achieve!

Somewhere down the lines, it had even gotten comfortable. Some might have assumed she meant that they’d plateaued, but that wasn’t the right phrase. Despite their closeness, it was always going to be a little weird seeing each other properly naked for the first time, but now it had grown into something that felt … natural. It never felt awkward or forced, only …

Right. The word was right, it felt right.

She wanted to cross the room and wrap her arms around his waist. She wanted to breathe him in, she wanted him to be the first thing she saw when she woke up in the mornings, and she wanted to fuck his brains out against the table before cuddling sweetly on the sofa. She wanted far too much for their deal, and oh, don’t mind her, just having a bloody panic attack in the hallway!

She should have been better prepared for this! Damn it, she'd watched the movies and everything!

“Oh, hey!” Cassian suddenly called out, noticing her behind him. “You got off early, sorry I haven’t made you anything–”

Jyn hastily put on a smile.

“I’M FINE,” she squeaked. “NO, wait – it’s fine, I mean …”

From: enrollments@ucl.ac.uk Sent: Thursday 21st July 2017 2.11pm To: jyn-erso@gmail.com Subject: Congratulations! Your enrolment details

To Jyn, 

We are pleased to inform you that your application for Bachelor of Arts has been accepted. We are looking forward to you starting your journey to higher education this September …  

From: jyn-erso@gmail.com Sent: Friday 22nd July 2017 8.41pm  To: l.erso925@gmail.com  Subject: I've gone insane 

Mama – 

Thought I’d let you know that I kind of signed up for uni again. I decided it was time to finish my degree. I'm going to look into whether the study I did before still counts or whether I'll need to start over (I mean, God I hope not) and I know it’s only a BA, but it means a lot to me. Who knows maybe I’ll finally get to quit the coffee shop someday!

…sorry, I’m making jokes, I’m not nervous at all.

Love you,

Jyn

“WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THIS?”

“Just to reiterate, once again,” Cassian said, flicking through channels on the TV. “I did not force you hit the submit button. Hell, I wasn’t even home at the time.”

“STILL!” Jyn cried, throwing her hands up as she paced in front of the TV every 10 seconds. “You’re my best friend, your job is to stop me from doing stupid things!”

“I thought it was to join in on the stupid things?” 

“CASSIAN.”

“Look, how is going back to uni stupid?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, sit down,” he added as she paced past the sofa once more. Jyn found herself getting dragged down next to him, a little chagrined. “You clearly want to do it, or you wouldn’t have applied in the first place. You are more than capable, Jyn. You’re intelligent, determined and it's something you clearly enjoy learning about.”

Jyn bit her lip. “But last time I gave up.”

“You were dealing with other things in your life at the time,” Cassian gently reminded her. “Your father and the stress wasn’t a good combination. It’s ok to take breaks from things that aren’t good for you at the time.” 

“This has been a hell of a break, Cassian,” Jyn scoffed. “It’s been over three years.”

“It’ll come back to you.”

“Easy for you to say!” Jyn threw up her hands. “This is insane, first sign of it getting hard and I’m going to quit again, I know it! I – I don’t know why I ever thought–”

He swooped down and kissed her. God.

She wasn’t sure why he had cut her off mid-sentence at first, but when she realised that her brain had melted to the point where she was swimming in it, she started to figure that that might’ve been his goal. Make her relax, make her forget. She could barely remember her name, so it was (un?)fortunately working. She was already pressed close to him on the sofa and he used it to their advantage, reaching down to move her scrunched-up legs, hooking them over his lap. Hands in her hair, he pulled back to murmur, 

“Calm the fuck down, Jyn, yeah?”

She could only make some kind of squeaking noise in response.

His lips traversed her jaw and neck, her heart slamming so ferociously in her throat that she was certain he had to feel it. She needed to stop this. She needed to say no. She had to face it, she was halfway in love with him and she needed to put a halt on everything before it all got wildly out of control but blimey, he believed in her. Her best friend believed she could do this, her best friend would do anything for her and her best friend’s hands were sneaking under her shirt, making her skin sizzle. Motherfucker.

She was so screwed.

Hey

Hey Why aren’t you asleep? 

OH u know Keep thinking 

FOR THE LAST TIME, you’ll be great at uni. You’ll graduate and get to wear the hat and I’ll probably cry because I’m so proud of you …………did u seriously text me at 1am and then fall asleep on me????

NO, no, I’m still here

What’s wrong, Jyn

Nothing, I just…… U know how we said we’d just do the whole ‘sleep together’ thing until one of us got feelings right?

Right

Well I got feelings A Lot of em And I’m sorry, but I think I first got them a while ago, but in my defence I didn’t actually KNOW so I didn’t say anything, but even when I did know I didn’t say anything but I couldn’t keep NOT saying something so this is me saying something and I know we said we'd stop when this happened but thing is I don’t think I actually want to stop so yeah 

The moment Jyn’s rambling text was sent, she immediately regretted it. What the fuck you have to go and say all that for, you eejit? She could have left it at ‘I got feelings’ and that would have been fine! Nooo, she just HAD to go and spill everything like some bloody romance movie.

Oh my god, she was Mila Kunis!

She stared at the messaging app until her eyes blurred. Minutes passed without a reply and eventually, she shut off the phone, slamming it back onto her bedside table. She wasn’t going to be able to face him in the morning. She rubbed her eyes warily before attempting to snuggle back down under the blankets. All of this was a colossal mistake. LET’S JUST SLEEP TOGETHER, she’d said, IT’LL WORK OUT FINE, she’d said. Nothing ever went wrong when you slept with your otherwise-platonic best friend and flatmate, everyone knew that! Oh god, one of them was going to have to move out now and since she was the one who’d fucked up, it would probably be her. She’d have to move in with Bodhi and Luke and be a third wheel! Either that or live with her new best friend, Leia … actually no, then she’d have to deal with Han coming over all the time and being a prick about it. Better stick with Bodhi and Luke –

SLAM.

Jyn leapt a fucking mile. Her bedroom door was suddenly flung open and in the meagre light of a phone screen, Jyn saw Cassian standing there. She noticed that their recent text conversation was pulled up on his phone and he was staring at her incredulously (and rather dramatically) from the doorframe. She didn’t know what on earth to say.

She shifted uncomfortably in bed, sitting up a little. “I’m sorry–”

Within three strides, he’d crossed the room and leaned down, crushing his lips to hers.

The phone was thrown somewhere across the room. His hands snaked around her waist, practically falling into her on the bed. They rolled and her legs were tangled in the blankets but she was fucking soaring and she didn’t care. She kicked herself free, wrapping herself around him, tasting the late night on his tongue. Minutes, hours, she honestly didn’t know how long they spent holding each other, kissing like it was the first and last times all at once. He slowed though, pressing his lips to hers once more before her cheek, dragging a hand out of her hair and to her face.

“I got feelings too,” he admitted,

“Oh … oh,” It appeared that she’d forgotten English entirely. 

“I also didn’t say anything.”

“Guess we really fucked this up then, huh?”

She could feel him smile against her cheek, his legs tighten where they were tangled with her own. “Yes. Fucked it up completely.”

“I had a good time doing it, not gonna lie.”

“I want to keep doing it, too.”

Click. Something snapped into place.

“Oh, thank god.”

“Am I to understand that I will have to endure this every time we hang out together now?” Kay sighed exasperatedly from his side of the table. “Because if so, I am more than happy to go find new friends–”

Jyn just kissed Cassian harder in retaliation, sticking up her finger in Kay's general direction for good measure. 

Absolutely no one had been surprised to learn that Jyn and Cassian apparently weren't just sleeping together anymore. Bodhi had yelled, “CALLED IT!” while Luke groaned in exasperation, slumping further down into his chair around their usual table at Han’s pub. Leia, who had been in the bathroom at the time, had come back only to cackle at the news while Han incredibly even shouted them both a free drink in celebration, something almost unheard of from the man. She only finally pulled back when Kay started throwing salted peanuts at them.

“Honestly, if you want to fuck off, be my guest!” Jyn growled, arm still slung around Cassian’s neck. “I’ve only been waiting for it ever since we met, after all.”

“Cassian, why,” Kay deadpanned in response. 

The ultimate pro of the Scathing Comment, Cassian threw back something funny and non-committal. Jyn honestly wasn’t listening too closely. Her brain was a little fuzzy from all the alcohol and kissing, she started uni again in a couple months, and quite honestly, for what felt like the first time in her life she wasn’t worried. She spent the night laughing with Leia, exchanging stories that were long over-due and sitting next to Bodhi whenever she wanted to go and talk on his side of the table. She would catch Cassian’s eye every now and then and feel her face flush at the slow smiles that they would exchange.

She had expected this latest transition to be weird, but quite honestly, she shouldn’t have. If the last few months had taught her anything at all, it was that whether they were doing it or not, things still somehow worked out between them. It was like this potential had always been there, just simmering away underneath everything they did. She didn't buy the theory that it was fate, but even she couldn't deny that whatever it was, it was a connection that went beyond anything explainable. No, she didn’t have a bloody clue as to what she was doing and yes, she was 1000% fucking terrified, but then he’d look at her like that from across a crowded room and suddenly, she was ok with it again.

“Do you think Kay will ever get over it?” she joked, stumbling a little into the street.

He tugged on her hand hastily, keeping her from keeling over into the gutter. “Maybe one day,” he said. “However, today is not that day, sorry.” 

“Weird thing though is I don’t actually hate the tosser!” Jyn pointed out with all the clarity she could muster with a few drinks in her. “He’s annoying as fuck, but he’s decent enough. Which reminds me, why are we walking home instead of being dropped off on the corner like normal?”

“We kept making out in the backseat, and Kay kicked us out.”

“Oh, that's right,” Jyn grinned.

The night was brisk, but clear. They walked in silence for the few extra minutes it took to reach their building, Jyn’s fingers clenching unconsciously between Cassian’s. She hadn’t intended on saying anything, but she suddenly stopped just before they were about to head inside. “Hey,” She spoke to her boots, wincing at the sincerity that was about to come out, but to hell with it. “Seriously, though … I’m sorry I’m not the girl Kay wishes I was. I know I suck at this.”

“Jyn …” Cassian began.

“No, no!” Jyn insisted, waving off the look on his face. “Really! Like, not even kidding, we both know I’m the nutcase here, HA – so, um, I don’t know … thanks, I guess. For not cutting me loose.”

Cassian squeezed her fingers, stepping in closer. “Jyn, you know that you got stuck with me for life the day I first moved in. This isn’t going to change anything.”

“I’m serious! I swear I barely even know how to do the relationship thing anymore–”

“Hey. Something tells me that we’ll figure it out,” He let go of her hand to punch her shoulder lightly.

This man was something else. 

Jyn responded by throwing all caution to the wind and just kissing him right there in the street. It was about time she let him know that she was as in deep as he was, and the way to convey that was naturally to wrap her arms around his neck and drag him down to her lips. No, she didn’t know how the hell things were going to go from here. Maybe they'd fuck up tomorrow, maybe one day it would all get too much, but also just maybe, things would somehow work out. 

Maybe this entire thing hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

- Fin