#fucking hate HOAs btw

[virescent-v]

Sometimes I don’t feel like an adult.

And then there’s days like today where I contemplate buying a house instead of reupping my lease on my apartment because $2k for rent for 700 sq ft of a shoebox seems ridiculous.

And then I have to ask my mom what “closing costs” entail and then I’m back to thinking I’m not an adult. They should’ve been teaching this shit in high school and not the quadratic equation.

Anyways, might fuck around a buy a house maybe?

[graff-aganda]

Reminiscing about my HOA phase again. . .

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

was i the asshole for refusing to pay a private contractor what they claimed i owed?

preface: i rent a townhouse that has both a front and a back yard, and the lawn mower broke (landlord refuses to fix it), so i was forced to find a landscaping company locally who could mow the grass in spring and summertime. i hate mowing so no real loss, plus i get to support local small businesses! score!

everyone around here sucks at communication (as in they just don't show up or respond to any texts, calls, or emails even when Maureen From The HOA is breathing down your neck) except for one company i've been using religiously ever since i found them. love these guys. quality work, excellent communication, affordable, flexible, these guys are the best and i have referred my neighbors to them as well.

at the beginning of spring 2023, money was kinda tight so i asked if they could only mow every three weeks. they told me no dice, only in two-week increments because they have a rolling scheduling of which neighborhoods get hit up on certain weeks. fair enough. i ask for a mow every four weeks. sure, the grass will get a little tall, but the HOA can shut up.

they come every two weeks instead and text AFTER they've already done the work, so i have to pay for it. i pay them promptly, but ask if they can please honor my wishes for it to be every four weeks, as we discussed. they honor that... once. and then go back to every two weeks. by this time, the grass is shooting up faster than expected and i still hate the HOA, so i sigh and let it go. every two weeks it is.

fast forward to late autumn as winter's rolling in and i'm writing the check for the last mow of the season when the guy calls and says "oh btw you owe hundreds of dollars we never told you about until just now".

somehow, they got it in their heads that they mowed my lawn every single week, and should be paid for that. not once did that happen. not only was there no communication about them having been there OR needing payment (remember how i said they were so good about communication? i have texts going back the entire season where they message me "hey we mowed your lawn today" every two weeks exactly, and what sense does it make for them to forget to say anything every other week on the nose?), but i think i would have noticed grass getting shorter for no reason. also remember how i specifically told them i wanted a mow every four weeks and never actually rescinded that request? it's in writing. it's in the text log. at no point did i ever approve this "weekly" work, even if they'd actually done it (which they didn't).

thing is, these guys are prompt and reliable. they're the best option i've got around these parts. they really don't strike me as the types to pull a fast one on me or scam me. i think it was a genuine, honest mistake and they got my house mixed up with someone else's in the ledger, and now they're out the money for work they legitimately performed... just not for me. i recommended them to my neighbors, remember? not impossible they got the house numbers for my street mixed up. a 6 can look like an 8, or a 7 like a 1 if your handwriting smudges.

i got so caught up in my kneejerk response of "hey what the fuck do you mean i owe money for work i told you i didn't want and you didn't actually do" that i didn't work with them to try to figure out what actually happened here, and now a local business got screwed over. WITAH?

What are these acronyms?

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[tortured-demigods-department]

an unhinged (and unofficial) dissertation on the pjo fandom

so i don't usually post anything that isn't my-works-related, but i had a...mildly heated discussion with a fellow film student tonight about the pjo show and it's got me thinking. bear with me, we'll be here awhile.

as we all know, the first season of pjo has ended. i've stayed relatively OFF tumblr and other social media during this time, but i know there are a lot of OG fans who are (in their words) "massively disappointed" in the show. most of the complaints i've heard have been during in person conversations though, so this post is mostly going to be referencing real complaints i've heard.

i've been a part of this fandom since i was thirteen. that's nearly eight fucking years of my life that i've devoted to the pjo universe. i have written and consumed YEARS' worth of fanfiction, i have read and reread every book so many times i can quote them forwards and backwards, and i went to the bookstore every single year on the new books' release dates to pick up my copies in-person. this fandom, these characters and this world have brought so much joy to my life, and i don't think i could ever fully articulate that in words. when i think of this series, i genuinely feel nothing but happiness.

but a few years ago—around the time i started college—i started distancing myself from the fandom for one glaring reason. this fandom can be such an...angry place? like, genuinely, i don't know how far it goes back—maybe all the way to the release of HoA, honestly—but i wasn't here pre-HoA, so all i know is that i very much remember how much people hated ToA when it came out.

here i was, having the TIME of my life with apollo and his silly little haikus, and people are going to war over how the series' writing quality has gone to shit and how everything was better before, blah, blah, blah. IN SPITE of everything that series gave us—discussion of the repercussions of child abuse and ptsd, representation of lgbtqa+ characters, and deep psychological messages that really teach young readers, i think, how to better understand themselves and their emotions and deal with them in healthy ways. and it just wasn't fun to be in a fandom where, as soon as you go "hey, did you read the new book?" they scoff and roll their eyes and only want to talk about how terrible it is. (i also missed all the discourse on the sun and the star when it came out—PHENOMENAL read, btw—but i've read some things that lead me to believe that it wasn't well received either, in spite of how lovely it was.)

so...it's dramatic to say i "left" the fandom, but i certainly withdrew from it. deleted my pjo ao3 and tumblr, started over with a different fandom. but the love has always been there, and the show starting really helped spark it fully back to life.

but now, the same thing is happening again, i'm noticing. remember back in the day, when we only had the shitty fucking movies, and we were like "man, ANYTHING would be better than this garbage. literally just give us actors who are the right age and we'll be happy." well, now we have PHENOMENAL kid actors who genuinely are having a good time playing our beloved characters, and instead of supporting them, we're STILL complaining about them not being "portrayed correctly"?

i've talked to so many people who complain that percy is "too smart," which is kind of a bullshit insult to percy's canon character. in the books (at least the first five) we're seeing things ONLY from percy's pov. he's a kid who's struggled with learning disabilities and been told he's an idiot all his life by everyone except his mom—but as others have pointed out way more eloquently than i could, percy is a very intelligent and powerful individual while maintaining his goofy fun personality, which is WHY so many people love him so much. he's complex, and i think they managed to capture that really well in the show even amidst all the changes.

don't get me started on the fucking racism towards leah sava jeffries—i'm honest to gods ashamed that there are racists who call themselves pjo fans. she is so talented, and everything we ever could have hoped for in an on-screen annabeth. ALL of the kids are—there's literally no argument to be had there.

and then, if people aren't complaining about the casting, it's the series' writing. or there's too much exposition. rick is changing too many things. the directors don't know what they're doing. it's not a TRUE book adaptation. (someone said that to me, and i genuinely laughed because i thought they were joking. when the MOVIES exist, they wanted to make that comment about the show.)

are there some things i would change about the show, given the opportunity? god, yes. the set design for the underworld was horrendous. (in my opinion, of course.) but here's the thing. i have spent eight years of my life waiting for this show to happen, and in that time, i've learned a lot about how much goes into successfully producing such a complex series. how much money and time is spent, and how many people have to be on board to make it happen. it's genuinely kind of miraculous that we're even getting this show at all, considering all the ways it could have failed before it even made it out of pre-production.

and i think we, as fans, sometimes forget that we aren't owed this. we don't own the percy jackson franchise. it makes me so sick and tired when authors or artists in any capacity feel like they have to cater their works to the masses, because they know they'll get thrown into the fucking fire if they don't. rick and becky riordan didn't have to got to the trouble of producing this show for us. they chose to—everyone involved chose to—because they wanted to make something fun and enjoyable not only for the fans, but everyone who chose to be a part of it.

do you know how insane it is that, when you read pretty much any interview of pjo bts, everyone talks about how fun the production was? i've been on film sets. they can be ABSOLUTELY miserable when they're not done right. but eight months into production, the kids were still laughing and having a good time, everyone's still giving 100%, they're excited, it's fun. walker was willing to go into a diving tank for a full fucking day in order to get one scene—i know i would never have that kind of dedication, and i bet 99% of you wouldn't either.

i know this has gotten really long-winded, but i've said all of that to say that...i'm kind of tired of fans trying to bring down the show, and more than that, trying to bring down each other for having a good time. as i've said before (many times, i'm sure), i waited eight years for this, and i have had SUCH a fun time watching it. assuming we get a season 2 renewal, there are going to be even more new fans coming in than we've already gotten from season 1, and i want this fandom to be a fun and positive place for them. for all of us. we don't have to miserable and angry all time. we can critique the show, sure—it's not perfect, and it was never going to be—but we have to remember that television is an art form, and that art is subjective even when it involves our favorite characters. and we can accept that and still have a good time, because it's just more fun to have fun, you know?

this fandom has always had so much potential to be the BIGGEST, most supportive and kind and loving fandom. with how much representation this series has, with how much content we've been given, with the SHEER massive number of us...i've always thought we could be a really, really great community. maybe it's impossible to hope that we could be the best fandom on earth, but if nothing else...could we all try to just be a little bit kinder? genuinely, as cheesy as it may sound...it's just nicer when we're nice to each other. and when there's so many real things in the world to be mad about...i would much rather this be a place where we can come to at the end of a long day and just...feel at home. personally, i just think that would be really, really nice.

[eric-the-bmo]

The Neighborhood Watch recap s2 ep3: Gnomes [aka, a horrible recap taken from texts i sent my friend]

[aa sorry it took so long rip]

AAA??? SO. JOHN GOT PUSHOVER-ED INTO A JOB (he works for the city now oh dear), WHERE HE MET A WOMAN NAMED CLARA WHO MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM? AND WHILE WAITING FOR SHELBY TO PICK HIM UP HE TRIED TO APOLOGIZE TO MARKUS, right- who btw made a wish for people to forget about their bug ability things- and John tried to apologize and was all "listen i dont quite remember what happened, im so sorry, but it wont happen again! look im fixed, its ok" and markus was all "u didnt need fixing, u were my friend," which kinda short-circuited john a little bit (bc hello? what do they mean he didnt need to be fixed?).

Meanwhile, it's revealed Karen started a homeowners association and the rest of the Main Cast decides to fuck around and be spiteful, while John is busy despairing over shelby telling him she started a hello fresh sponsorship and is going to use the kitchen for a cooking stream. Markus pours sugar into the gas tanks of people who signed the HOA (and even fills two of their houses with cockroaches, including Lestat's), Louis makes plans to build a radio tower bc u can do that ig, and Song buys a shit ton of lawn decorations, including lawn gnomes which she puts in her garage (btw, the general store is totally supernatural. aisles for whatever you need just show up).

[We take a break. We joke about how no one is normal in this goddamn town, and the Sumpaths are mentioned as an example of a normal family. I start concocting/yelling about a crack theory where, ok listen- Armin is an engineer and used to work for the government, and Amira, his daughter, she doesnt have any magic potential, right, which is weird for a person, what if shes a robot—]

The next morning a neighbor has a yard sale, and Markus gets a millennium falcon lego set to give to shelby, and she and john plan to build it together later ☆

John says Fuck It and goes to apologize to song ["john, you tried to fucking kill me"// "in my right mind i wouldnt- i know i shouldnt want to hurt people"], and she doesnt forgive him. He heads to work :-(

Louis tells Markus about his radio plan, Markus accidentally slips they were the one who fucked up the niegubors cars, and they go to buy spray paint so Markus can paint their house to continue to fuck with the HOA. On the way there Mark tells Louis they think john hates him now bc of the door thing (cue me yelling in despair). Louis suggests maybe John was also freaked out by what happened in the s1 finale, and didnt know what the others would think of him. Markus considers this. They get the paint.

Meanwhile, over to Song: Fatima (amiras mom) joins in for a session, right, bc last time amira came home a bit upset (bc of the death vision thing) and amira is outside setting up the archery stuff. Fatima asks Song about Lucretius aka Lestat (she wants gossip, spill the tea girl) and they talk about the HOA and how it fucking sucks. Anyway Amira comes in and is all "yo song ur garage smells weird" nd song is all "What" and so they go over there and it smells like GAS. oh no, yknow And the fucking LAWN GNOMES ARE ALIVE, RIGHT. and theyre messing with the propane tank on the grill and one strikes a match and song gets the two other ladies out of the way, and fatima is unharmed. And they look over at Amira and she sits up and she seems a bit dazed, right, but not in any pain, but a third of her face is burned off and theres a metal exoskeleton, BC I WAS RIGHT, BABEY!!! ROBOT

[hyperfixatinglove]

1, for any uwu

What’s a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

Eric King is not asshole nor a dick

There seems to be at least some consensus in HOA fandom that Eric's asshole or unpleasant or too obsessed about Rachel which drives me up the walls. Of course he'd want to pay attention & repair his relationship with his wife? He does have hard time of letting go of her in case she dies or chooses Nick, but we have to remember the whole catacombs situation and the fact the whole game (and thus Eric learning his wife cheated on him) happens in 24 hours! 24! A day full of disrespecting, near death situations over and over again for Eric.

Yes, you can make him be a dick at the beginning to Jason which is unprompted, but he could just be focused/nervous about meeting & leading new people & about his presentation. And only other place it can happen is with Salim captured, but Eric thought Salim had killed his wife! Outside of those whopping 2 instances, he can be only be dickish _in response_ to everyone else.

Jason disrespects his authority all the time behind his back, Nick is a little bitch who can't keep professional just because he thinks his 3 weeks of fuck affair is true love. Jason at least can be professional to Eric's face!

Like Nick is constantly pressing Eric's buttons and for what? Because he thinks 3 weeks is enough for Rachel to leave with him which is determinant by player? How about caring about those alien vampires trying to tear you all apart instead of fist fighting about some woman?

Everyone just puts the blame on him for ending up in the cursed temple. Yeah it was his Caelus satellite that bought them there above ground, but did he personally cause the earthquake?! His first thoughts are his fellow marines wellbeing when he wakes up from the fall!

Eric truly cared about Clarice too. He shows huge guilt for having her be in the catacombs and die there. His guilt about being the man who lead them there is huge too, he can have talk with Jason where he literally says he's not okay because majority of his men died down there & later he says he will carry all those lives lost on his shoulders and have to live with it if he survives!

Even Rachel just disses him "puppy dog" shut up Eric is loyal unlike you.

Salim is like the only one who doesn't show ounce of hostility to Eric and they don't even talk much & is entirely optional which sucks. I'm stuck listening to everyone shit on this wonderful man & making his insecurities even worse. Even the game hates him since he can die the earliest and has the most deaths out of playables & anyone in the entire game so I'm convinced Supermassive hates him too.

Everyone just constantly pokes him and players expect him not to blow up? Or when they do make him blow up he's bad now?

Yes he can let Nick die by ignoring his radio call (which btw adds layers and interesting shit to him) but he literally can die any moment he tries to save Nick (who btw has plot immunity to death until the ignore the signal part & bit earlier) and Nick is as interesting as stale bread. The only interesting thing he had for him was his PTSD and HOA did nothing with his so he's just boring designed victim for me.

In short everyone is wrong about Eric King expect me

[kringe]

If you had asked me a couple weeks ago what I thought I'd be doing on August 4th "digging a grave" probably wouldn't have been my first answer but here we are

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

before we get back to your regularly scheduled hoa programming, i would like to try to sell you guys on the crack i’ve been hooked on for the past few days and what i just had a ginormous spam about: drukkari, which would be druig and makkari from the eternals. please hear me out, because i’m currently obsessed with them and they make me yell. and if you don’t know about them i want to try to get you to fall in love with them. so, presenting, the selling points:

(obviously contains eternals spoilers but like it’s been long enough)

when i started seeing gifs of them on my dash before i saw the movie, i legitimately thought they were just straightup married

they are immortal, and they have been in love for literally 7000 years

druig is a BITCH he’s the fuckin worst he’s SO moody he’s SO grumpy (for mostly good reason) he’s mischievous he’s a prick everyone hates him and he hates everyone (in the family way) and he doesn’t have a single nice thing to say about anyone. UNLESS your name is makkari. in that case he is 😍😍😍😍

this is the EPITOME of both the best friends to lovers trope AND the grumpy/sunshine trope. like to a T. what more could you want?

also the epitome of the “i hate everyone but you” trope

SO much teasing and SO playful and SO flirty

it’s honestly astonishing how he’s got bitchface/angry face when talking to literally anybody except for her, but when he’s with her he’s just got the softest, dopiest look on his face, and the biggest smile. she also has the biggest smile

strong “i’m a simp for my wife” vibes which i’m obviously a sucker for

she’s deaf and to my recollection he’s the only one who signs with her consistently throughout the movie. even though he can literally read minds and hear thoughts and i think maybe communicate telepathically but he does it anyway and he’s the only one

at one point he starts flirting with her like mad in front of everyone which prompts two of the characters to pull their own version of the “is this allowed???” vine

after not seeing her for i think a couple hundred years, he ditches his everyday attire of potato sack-looking linen clothes he’d been wearing for a sexy leather jacket and sunglasses when they all go and meet up with her. mans was dressed to impress the gf

there’s a point where they all think he got murdered and she goes absolutely fucking FERAL and goes apeshit on the dude that thought he killed him; she literally drags this guy’s face against the side of a volcano at lightspeed, and she rapid fire beats the shit out of him over and over and over. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

you romantic bitches like the mr darcy dramatically walking out of the morning mist scene from pride and prejudice right?? well this movie has an exact recreation of that scene and i am NOT exaggerating

this dramatic hoe makes his dramatic reappearance after they all thought he was dead, walking down the beach with yet another smile on his face when he sees her (it’s just for her), and she runs right to him and embraces him like some kind of romcom, and then they give me the best most tender forehead touch i’ve ever seen in my entire life [WHICH WAS APPARENTLY IMPROVISED BTW BARRY YOU MADLAD]

she is understandably a little shook because she thought he DIED and in the softest voice he reassures her “it’s okay. it’s okay.” and when i say soft i mean SO soft that the closed captions don’t even pick it up

and the kicker. this mans. has the audacity to drop some of the most romantic shit i’ve heard in my LIFE. early on in the movie he greets her with “My beautiful Makkari.” and then later, he tops it and follows it up with “My beautiful, beautiful Makkari.” All while looking at her like she’s the sun the moon and the stars. SIR!! who gave you the RIGHT!!!!! how can i not be obsessed with romantic shit like that???

oh and arguably the best part is that this couple was not meant to be in the movie at ALL lmao. it wasn’t in the original script. but the actors (lauren ridloff and barry keoghan) had such WIDLY good chemistry that my hero chloé zhao (director) was like “we MUST make this into a romance and i WILL fit this into this movie somehow.” and it outshined everything else thank you chloé

thus concludes my case and all the reasons they’re currently destroying me. and i think you should get obsessed with them too my lovely followers, i think they’re neat and i think you’d think so too

[anerdyfeminist]

Ugh. Rant time.

There is warfare being waged on me as the only way my neighbor communicates with me is that 1) She calls and 2) I don’t answer because I’m not expecting it and like most people born after 1979 I hate the fucking phone and it feels like torture to me.

She leaves me no voicemails.

Then she texts me this stuff.

Why does she text this? Why doesn’t she text me what she needs to say, if she’s going to text at all? And if she hates texting, why doesn’t she leave a voicemail telling me what she needs?

The things she’s needed, btw:

•To ask if a car she wanted moved from by her garage area was mine or a guests of mine (it wasn’t.)

•To ask what company I used to replace my AC unit.

(Who knows what today 😒)

THOSE ARE REMARKABLY SHORT SUBJECTS TO TEXT ABOUT! How is she not getting that I won’t talk on the phone? She has my email address as an option too! And we are both members in our HOAs FB group. Like damn I take a walk past her unit on a walk every. goddamn. morning. I’d literally prefer to stop and chat.

Here’s where I get petty 😂 God I love being petty sometimes! I am pretty sure this neighbor is a major night owl. She’s retired and I often see her sitting outside in the evening but I have never in my life seen her out and about before noon and as mentioned: daily morning walks. So I am going to return her call TOMORROW and it will be at the earliest possible hour I can conceive as still “socially acceptable” 9 am 😈

Here’s the thing for real though. I have made the mistake of sucking it up and calling her back w/in 30 mins the other times that she’s pulled this bc I’ve been like “oh shit is she ok??” and I feel guilty and wanna be a good neighbor BUT she obviously could say if there’s something urgent going on in the original message. Like I haven’t been holding my boundaries here, I’ve been acting like communicating w/ me like this works.

In talking through a dilemma, a mentor told me years ago, “everyday, you are showing people how to treat you and what works to get what they want from you.” Recalling that today!

[thtdamfangirl4]

1.) Who eats all the snacks?

kind of all of them but something inside me is saying it’s octavius? @harps-for-days can you confirm or deny?

2.) Most likely to break something?

obviously Reginald

3.) Most likely to steal something?

Octavius

4.) Most likable character to others?

ooooh. that’s tough. I think (no offense) it’s definitely not Reginald or Dorian. Reginald is insane and Dorian can be scary. I think people kind of wish they were Octavius but he can also be a lil intimidating and jealousy plays a part so some petty bitches probably hate him. I think Jasper can be kind of quiet and standoffish at first so he doesn’t always leave a lasting impression until you have a full conversation with him, which is when people realize he’s great. I think people generally like Archie but he can be like A LOT, so I wouldn’t say him, but he is definitely well-liked, and unless you’re a PTA bitch named Jessica, he is desperate for you to like him. But for most likeable, I’s say it is probably down to Eustace or Nathaniel. Eustace is kind and lovely and a little snarky when you get to know him and Nathaniel is so sweet and sarcastic and funny but terribly genuine at the same time and let’s be perfectly honest: he’s a himbo. I’d give the edge to Nathaniel, but it’s possible that I’m biased.

5.) Least likable character to others?

my first instinct here was reginald but like... I don’t think so. I think though Reginald is strange as fuck, we’ve discussed that people eat that shit up. Reginald is like human Gritty. I want to guess that it would be Dorian because he just does not give a fuck what anyone thinks. And I know the people on the HOA hate him, so. And that’s not to say people don’t love Dorian, he’s the best and I love him and so do lots. But I feel like he causes the most beef. My only other thought is the way basic blonde bitches who were bullies in high school probably hate Octavius (but secretly want to be his best friend) because he wears heels and skirt better than they do. Stay mad about it.

6.) Most talkative character?

Archibald. Quincy. Pemberton.

7.). Least talkative character?

dude they’re based on us and literally none of us ever shut up. Maybe Dorian? Eustace?

8.) Most likely to set something on fire?

how is this even a question. Rabbit Boi himself, Reginald Worthington.

9.) Who would/does own the most pets?

I think it’s Nate and Archie? They have four dogs at one point. Though I would not be surprised to find out that Reginald has an entire condominium simply filled with exotic birds that squawk furiously at him every time he shows up. 

10.) Most manipulative character?

oh god. Dorian? He technically manipulated everything and made the bois show up in 2020 to get out of marrying someone, and he’s the kind of guy who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants (read: he will do whatever it takes for Octavius or any of the bois or to spite bigots and the patriarchy) and we RESPECT it

11.) Most artistically talented?

i mean, archie can decorate baked goods and cakes so beautifully, but I’m gonna give this one to the obvious choice: Octavius Sinclair

12.) Which characters hate rain, and which love it?

I actually think all of them like rain? They’re largely (sometimes) depressed gays or otherwise very immature so like? For example, Reginald loves the rain because it’s sort of chaotic and also he likes to splash in puddles. Jasper likes the excuse to stay inside all day and work on writing or something. Eustace likes to pretend he’s in a sad music video while watching the droplets go down the window. Octavius likes to force Dorian to reenact the first proposal scene from Pride and Prejudice. Dorian likes to light candles and he loves thunderstorms (so does Octavius btw). Archie likes to drag Nate outside for kisses in the rain while playing Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift, and then bake all day. Nathaniel likes being dragged out for kisses in the rain and he loves drinking coffee and then switching to tea in the rain and reading on a window bench. They are all rain bitches, sorry not sorry.

13.) Which character is the hoarder?

Reginald is definitely the worst about this, but I also think Octavius cannot go to an antique store or estate sale without buying at least four things, and Dorian does the same thing with any sort of vintage weaponry or armor, so their household isn’t great about it either.

14.) Sweetest couple?

Natchie. No this isn’t bias, it’s just a fact okay? They are the sweetest!!!!

15.) Who loves reading the most?

Nathaniel. fuckin nerd.

16.) Who has the worst sweet tooth?

Archie. I mean, the man is a baker and he’s also me. So.

17.) Best and worst kissers?

LMAOOOOO okay.... so here’s the thing. I think kissing and level of skill comes into play to a certain degree, but past a basic level of acceptability, it’s mostly about compatibility? but I’ll give this a go in terms of what I think would be pure skill

from worst to best: Jasper, Reginald, Eustace, Octavius, Nathaniel, Archie, Dorian (once you get to Octavius, you’re at a fairly elite level of kisser though so the differences are marginal. but Dorian and Archie are the biggest hoes so they know what the fuck they are doing)

18.) Best and worst cooks?

from worst to best: Dorian, Reginald, Jasper, Nathaniel, Eustace, Octavius, Archie

19.) Who is afraid of the dark?

Jasper

20.) Most likely to fall asleep on their job?

I honestly only remember what Nathaniel, Archie, and Eustace’s jobs are for sure? and it’s none of them. But Reginald. MAYBE Jasper.

21.) Most commonly found drunk?

Octavius and Archie (often together)

22.) Strongest/most powerful character?

well, Dorian’s got some witchy stuff goin on which I love, but if we’re talking physical strength I like to think that Nathaniel is secretly jacked like Chidi on the Good Place lmao

23.) Most likely to be found in a coffee shop?

Nathaniel. This bitch drinks so much coffee, I swear. Plus he likes to grade papers there sometimes.

24.) Most clumsy character?

Jasper

25.) Most trustworthy character?

again, this is hard. I think it’s either Eustace or Archie. I think they’re all very trustworthy on like a friend level, but if you break it down to its base and you think about the most trustworthy in every situation, i’m thinking, who can you tell a secret to? Reginald might forget what you told him, which is a plus, but he also might tell any Doug who asks your juiciest gossip. Dorian and Octavius are not above blackmail and they LOVE gossip. Jasper is such a bad secret keeper, you immediately know he’s hiding something. It’s like Nick Miller on New Girl. Don’t do it. Nathaniel will try but his brain is always spinning at like 100 miles an hour so there’s a good chance he’ll tell people even if he didn’t really mean to. And then it comes down to Eustace and Archie, and I think I’m gonna give the edge to Archie. Cause Eustace won’t tell anyone your secret EXCEPT that  he will tell Tyler because he tells Tyler everything, and if it’s a good secret, Tyler can’t help himself, he’s such a gossip. But Archie knows that sometimes, he does not need to pass on the secret that was entrusted to him to Nathaniel, because this is the kind of secret that would probably hurt someone if Nathaniel accidentally told someone. He tells Nathaniel everything he needs to know, and if he doesn’t need to know and it’s not really their business, he knows to keep it to himself. So... Archie.