#fucking frederick the second dude

[prussianmemes]

everyone that replied to this post is extremely annoying and are also extremely tone deaf because no, the op was not saying 'life in the 1600s rocked' - yes we know antibiotics were not around. we know childhood mortality was sky high. we know you worked back breaking labor in the fields as a peasant and your quality of life was definitively much worse than today, but that literally was not the point.

the point is that you people act like the past was a time when literally everybody was beheaded at the immediate first sign of deviancy, and that in fact nobody could have handled you being a quirky blorbo chungus or whatever, when infact, most people throughout history have acted in a pretty consistent way. your undiagnosed autism or adhd or anything is something literally nobody cares about. you being a random person who says silly things is actually not noteworthy at all and not going to make you a witch omg burn this woman / queer / whatever minority immediately. society was not some totally homogenous 100% uniform super straight hetero catholic paradise where everyone obsessively policed and tormented each other.

also to the one person saying "uhm actually we're fighting against a neo-reactionary trend of glorifying the past..." you are quite literally doing the same thing in the same vein as the reddit morons who pushed "the dark ages.... the middle ages were a time when society slid back from the roman golden ages... nothing happened for 700 years and people burned witches... muddled about in the dirt... and dogmatically worshipped the pope" as if the entire period wasn't mostly nobles having sex disputes with each other and sending guys to behead the pope because they didn't want to pay taxes for some doorframe.

i actually really hate those posts where everyone is like "ough oigh i would have died in 1600 because of [reason]" like its annoying and its actually fucking sad how so many of you seem to view the past and the people in it. Autistic people in the past had full and happy lives. Jewish people in the past had full and happy lives. You would not have been "burned as a witch" for having adhd, you have a persecution complex thats deeply annoying and ahistorical. The lives of marginalised people in the past were not just strife and suffering and dying violently and frankly its offensive that yall keep trying to reduce it down to such. Why are you so obsessed with erasing the spectrum of human existence why are you so obsessed with erasing joy why are you so obsessed with denying the capacity for marginalised people to have been happy

[oym-a-wii-deleted-you-au]

So how's your version on Nathan and Will?

(Sorry I couldn’t understand whether you meant the blog’s AU or the admin’s lore, plus I’ve yet to make a design for OyM!Nathan, so imma just assume the OG for this one)

Forgive me for my awful grammar, I’m not that good at English-

About Nathan:

•Basic infos, he’s 17, about Kyle’s age— just a month or two older than him.

•Of Brazilian descent but has Chilean blood in him.

•Full name is Nathaniel Frederick Bernadez.

•Has undiagnosed ADHD.

•He has an older sister Lucille (basically Luna from OnC but she’s more normal about CJ than her canon counterpart). They both fan about On Command together.

•Transgender FtM and biromantic with a preferable lean for guys. (Pronouns He/they/dusk)

•Was scared of EteleD shitless, so much that he basically cut ties with Kyle for taking it for a prank, and told everyone on school about it, which lead to them getting bullied for 9 years straight.

Kyle forgives him for it but they’ve made it clear they don’t want anything to do with him for the timebeing. The closest they get to interact is just small talk and hello’s.

Kyle did promise he’d open up to him in the future, he is just not ready to see him as of current.

•Has a crush on Will but is kinda scared to ask him out because of his own insecurities and also since Will’s already seeing someone else at the moment.

•Keeps a heart-shaped locket at all times on himself— a gift from his grandmother, before she passed.

The locket contains a photo of her holding a newborn Nathan, with Kyle’s mom beside them. That’s how he and Kyle knew each other since their birth.

•He is the man that drinks milk before cereal and then eats the cereal dry /j

•Has that friendship-rivalry-thing with Sam as a joke because they used to hate each other in the past, but now are getting along pretty well.

•Basically the cool dad of the group. Also he’s the second tallest after Dan.

About Will:

•He’s 16— only 25 days younger than Sam.

•Of Belgian origin.

•Has three siblings and a cousin— basically the same people Rudolph (OyM) is related to

•Has never been close with their parents for unknown reasons, which means he and his younger sister was practically raised by their 2 older siblings in their absence.

•Their real name is actually Rudolph Forgers, but for confidentiality reasons had to psuedofy himself, so he currently goes by William Roberts.

•Currently figuring out their gender identity but knows they’re omnisexual. (Pronouns they/ey/he/she/rex)

•Does have a big crush on Nathan, but is scared they’d get rejected so they instead tone themselves and pretend he’s crushing on Cooper.

•He used to be jealous of Sam since Middle School because she was better than him in almost everything, and even had a loving mom. It never went beyond taunting and small shoving, though.

They’ve since sorted themselves out and are cool buddies.

•Looks abrasive and brash, but is a sweetheart who’d give their life to protect anybody dear to him.

•Only a tad bit shorter than Dan and Nathan, but taller than Sam, Cooper and and Kyle combined.

•Small fact: They’ve got little fangs. It’s a birth gene.

•No kidding, this dude looks like he’d kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.

Wait fuck that’s the same thing as the other point help-

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Given that Daerin II was the father of Otto, it's no wonder that he didn't accept Frederick. I mean, grandpa probably dealt with a lot of bastard siblings during his youth. Also, from what I read, Queen Calmiel ruled in the same era as that hedonist, what would happen if Daerin II flirted with her in one of the peace treaty meetings🤣?

Okay, first of all,

Second of all, IF that happened (it wouldnt because dude was too busy drowning in NSFW and couldnt be bothered about a literal war) Queen Calmiel, hilariously would fuck him.

She

fucks

HIM.

Just to say she fucked the empire both literally and figuratively.

Honestly MC gets his/her hoe genes from the both of em lmaoooo

[anonymous-dentist]

can I still ask for a fun fact :3c

Europe has always been among the cringiest places on the planet, and uh.

Crusades? Yeah. Let’s talk about the Third Crusade aka the Kings’ Crusade, but specifically about how it started out because ooooooh boy

So the Crusades, for anyone unfamiliar, were basically a bunch of wars between Western Europe and the guys living in what they called the Holy Land, aka modern-day Israel and Palestine and the areas around there. See, Jerusalem was being held by an Islamic empire, and Europe fucking HATED that, so they got on a bunch of boats and went to terrorize the Middle East because that’s white people’s historically-proven cultural pastime

The Third Crusade came off of the Second Crusade, which the Zengid Dynasty wound up winning. The Europeans were pissed, so they headed off on their third attempt at retaking the Holy Land

Our first king is Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa. He had a pretty good run, all things considered, getting all the way from what we now call Germany clear to what is now Turkey at the ripe old age of 66. He won several battles, lost a few, fucked with the Byzantines, and devastated Turkish forces.

That sounds like a win, right?

Well, it was, but then his horse slipped in a river somewhere in Turkey and he fucking died. His son, another Frederick, was so bad at getting his dad’s bones to Acre and everything that he had to outsource help to this dude called Conrad of Montferrat, who was technically the King of Jerusalem, but he himself would get assassinated by the Assassins (and they were assassins) literal days before his crowning

Our second king is Philip II of France, who is legit so unremarkable in terms of the Crusades that most of his involvement in them is him leaving them after getting dysentery and almost dying after being Very Bad At Crusading

Our third king is the only semi-competent one, Richard I of England, aka Richard the Lionheart, and he’s technically our fourth king because it was the king before him, Henry II, that tried the whole Crusade Thing before dying in a tragically British fashion. So we’ve got Richard, and he’s the only king here who actually managed to get to the Holy Land.

At first, Richard and Philip were at war. And then they said “hey wait let’s go just beat up Muslims instead”. And then they said “I hate you more than Muslims actually” and they started beating each other up, hence why Philip ended up leaving in the end.

Drama Happens! There’s some whole bullshit regarding marriage and then that dude from earlier, Conrad, because, guess what? Richard might’ve been the one to send the Assassins after that dude. Omg!!

But honestly? Not much to say about Richard. He did his (terrible horrible racist) job, and he won the Third Crusade. Sort of.

Well, Europe didn’t end up taking back Jerusalem. They would not, in fact, get Jerusalem back… ever! They had it for like two minutes during the Sixth Crusade, but they still don’t have control over the Holy Land to this day, much to their obvious annoyance

What happened with the two living kings? Well, they went back to war, of course! Richard would eventually die in an extremely comical and tragic and British fashion, getting killed by an arrow fired by a literal child. Philip would eventually die of Being Too Hot because he went traveling in the middle of summer while being pathetic and middle aged and French

[greyroses02]

so many. Things HAPPENING! GIVE ME A SECOND!!

First of all as a Luca lover since day one:

HES HES REAL REAL REAL!!!

He’s gorgeous beautiful! THRIVING!! Once skin is real!!! AAAASHDJWJSKKSJEHWB I’m tired I thought it was an evolved version of the ivory tower series or some shit lmaooahshajjahs

Idk if you’re a child or a grown man but my poor dude who did this to you I want to have a talk. Your doll is so fucking ugly but I’ll forgive it cause you look cool. Lily getting an a-tier so soon I’m shocked!! But it’s cute and I love it. Night watch is kinda ugly looking (it’s the mask-helmet thingie that’s why lol) maybe HOPEFULLY the model looks better and they gave him dark hair too! 🥰🥰

SO I’m gonna wear it anyway cause he still beautiful and finally got an atier besides deduction Star 🥰

Oh hand in MARRIAGE MAAM PLS IM ON MY KNEES!!

You’re so pretty I definitely gonna get you even tho I don’t play you as much anymore 😭😭

a.

Time to suffer in rank again… 🫠

And oh.

Oh oh oh oh. I like this. I like this concept a lot. Emil. Mr. Emil Mesmer!! I want him the most!! 🤲

Feaster looks so cool, I don’t really like (playing against) him but this skin…damn I almost want to get it…

So hyped for the COA animations!! And it looks like Frederick’s the leader I like that. Appoint the man who has experience with guns, smart. 🤣

Honorary mentions: Ann and Mary are slaying goodness gracious. And if I said I nearly choked on my spit when I saw Naiad and Wu Chang’s nymph-whatever-it’s-called would you believe me? My mouth was AGAPE! They are all beautiful 😭😭😭

This is gonna be torture for f2ps and low spenders (me included(

[arwainian]

Reading This Week 2023 #4

First week of the last semester of school and so school focused reading begins. A lot of these things i will be reading incrementally as the semester moves on so they will just keep showing up. Also uh, my cat died this morning. So this week and in the coming weeks there is gonna be a lot of fanfic and comfort fiction reading I think.

Finished:

Mountains and Badgermolehills by Glass_Onion on ao3

this was cute and funny and serious in a way that I think really accurately matched the original show's tone. my friend and I agree that Sokka and Katara are a tad too nice, BUT the pitch perfect characterization for Zuko and Aang makes up for it

Started and FInished:

Even Though I Knew the End by C.L. Polk

really compelling novella, where i think I caught most of the reveals coming and yet was thoroughly entertained the whole way through

Prologue to Highbrow/Lowbrow by Lawrence W. Levine (pp. 1-9)

compelling discussion about how we divide and discuss various entertainments, which will be relevant as I study 19th c. North American pop culture this semester

fe3h fic, all on ao3 (which yes, I'm still reading a ton of):

Your hairpin breaks my shield and my sword by signalbeam fell star (and those that keep it lit) by fearthedeeer Point of No Return by Panny In Obscurum by wearwind The Principle of Uncertainty by wearwind A Promise, Snow-Swept by wearwind

I physically cannot recommend wearwind's work enough. They write such a wonderful Claude, and In Obscurum was both long enough and compelling enough to keep me occupied the entire morning yesterday when I was generally having a pretty sucky day waiting to get home. Also it's a hilarious rarepair. *shakes Hubert as he appears in that fic* why did you make yourself so miserable and doomed you stupid fucking bitch

Soft Things by Arpad on ao3

cute lil fatt fic that has tided me over for the flood of fanworks that will arrive on the morrow

Started and Ongoing:

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

this is my second time reading through P&P, though the first time was through an audiobook. it's just as much of a delight the second time through, and I'm really looking forward to discussing it in class

The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen edited by Edward Copeland and Juliet McMaster

The Making of Jane Austen by Devoney Looser

These two are obviously companion reads to the Jane Austen class I'm taking, and I am not that far into them yet. Mostly they serve to give historical context to austen's life and works, which is really cool

Sam Patch, the famous Jumper by Paul E. Johnson

reading for that historical pop culture class. this dude jumped off oa waterfalls! and fucking lived!

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, translated by Constance Garnett, narrated by Frederick Davidson

unlike literally every other book in this section, this is actually a leisure read, because as I might have mentioned elsewhere, this is my dad's favorite book! It. Is very long. And even with an audiobook I have enough mandatory reading elsewhere that it's just gonna take a while no matter what. However I'm really delighted by what I have read so far and I am excited to continue

[web-kindle]

Ooo I love keeping track of this stuff! Literally been sitting through audios just to make these notes. Here's what I have so far (it's a very long read with references, not including what OP mentioned):

-Huxley, David, Milo, Gavin and Damien all have enough visible muscle to actively mention it

(Huxley to Damien: "Shit, dude. You’re fucking ripped!..." Damien to Huxley: "you look like you could bench press a fucking Volkswagen." - 'Elementals Confess Their Feelings For One Another'; Milo to Sweetheart: "I know you like these muscles, but that’s not they’re for" - 'Sleep Aid From Your Feisty Werewolf Boyfriend'; David to Angel: "Feel your man’s muscles flexing and swelling under your fingertips as I do my reps." - 'Getting Hot in the Workout Room with an Alpha Werewolf'; Gavin to Freelancer: "...and these tight muscles... strong arms..." - 'Arrogant Incubus Toys With You')

-David mentions having big hands (David to Angel: "it’s an excuse for me to run these big hands over every inch of your body" - 'Getting Steamy with Your Alpha Wolf Boyfriend Under the Summer Sun')

-David can magically increase the size of his body and muscles by stopping the shifting process partway (His 1st and 3rd BA)

-Huxley is taller than Freelancer (Worried Freelancer would "bounce off" him in 'Sweet Bro Earth Elemental Chills With You' and jokingly says "A shoulder rub? No, that’d be sick, but can you reach that high?" to Freelancer - 'Getting Hot at a Party With Your Himbo Boyfriend') and taller than Damien (Damien most recently mentioning how much bigger Huxley is than him in their HBS 2023 audio)

-Huxley is big enough to carry David (Damien to Huxley about David: " I can’t carry him, you can." - 'Inversion: All Along')

-Huxley also has big hands (Huxley to Freelancer: "Yeah, they're pretty big").

-David is also taller/ than Angel and is big enough for it to be a nickname from the pack (Bailey: "I think the big guy’s getting everybody’s attention." - 'Solstice Party with the Werewolf Pack'; Asher: "The big guy finally texted me back..." - 'Halloween With Your Sweet Werewolf Boyfriend and His Tsundere Alpha').

-David has the biggest Wolf form (Milo: "Like David should be fucking studied or something, it’s just nuts!" - 'Self Conscious Werewolf Boyfriend Confides in You').

-David's wolf form has the same eyes as his human form. Eye type not mentioned (David: "I'm still me. The same eyes. The same mind" - 'Tsundere Werewolf Boyfriend Shifts For You') Could be assumed this is the same for all wolves.

-Milo is not just the smallest wolf form in the pack (Milo: "as far as shifters go, I’m on the low end. But I’m still not even that small..."), but also seemingly the shortest in the pack (jokes on his height height are regularly made e.g. Smash Bros audio, Second Wolf Pack Solstice and also in the Imperium by Christian in 'Caught By A Cruel Werewolf Pack). He describes the pack situation like being "an average guy in a room full of basketball players" so it can be assumed that Milo is average height but I know people like short king Milo so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

-Milo's wolf form is still bigger than an actual wolf ('Self Conscious Werewolf Boyfriend Confides in You')

-Asher now has a scar on his chest after the Inversion ("If that means I’ve got some scars on my chest then hey, that’s just… that’s part of life, right?" - 'Consoling Your Sweet Werewolf Boyfriend')

-Lasko hasn't had a canonical skin colour mentioned but he is at least light enough to visibly blush ("I’m pretty sure my entire body is blushing" - 'Getting Hot in the Office With Your Submissive Professor Boyfriend' and "Of course I'm blushing!" in response to Freelancer in Lasko's 2nd BA)

-Vincent says he has pale skin ('Finding a Flirty Vampire In Your Bed')

-Vampires have silver eyes with red in them (Vincent has “Silver eyes with just the tiniest flecks of crimson” - 'Finding a Flirty Vampire In Your Bed' and Frederick saying his listener's eyes have "silver with those little bits of red" - 'Meeting Your Vampire Maker [Vampire Listener]')

-Vampires eyes go black due to extreme hunger (and when feeding?) (Vincent: "My eyes? I’m sorry. I’m sure they’ve gone black." - 'Flirty Vampire Loses Control')

-Vampires have retractable teeth that can be hidden at will (Imp!Sam does this after tracing Baby: "No need to retract these anymore" - 'Turned By a Devious Vampire' and Vincent says “Usually I only put them out on display when it’s time to feed…” - 'Finding a Flirty Vampire In Your Bed')

-Demons coalesce (are 'born') fully formed (Avior: “We don’t grow like you humans do. We’re never toddlers or children." "With the exception of certain kinds of daemons, we emerge with roughly the mindset of adults." - 'Getting Closer To Your Demon)

-Caelum has horns (not just cause of his thumbnail logo; Gavin to Freelancer : "Like Empathy Daemon Caelum? Talks too fast, little horns, almost too-sweet Caelum?" - Comforted By an Arrogant Incubus)

-Caelum is described as "little guy" by Gavin (Twice in 'Rest Amidst the Elemental and Energetic Games') so it can be assumed that Caelum is short (or at least shorter than Gavin).

-Gavin described himself as having full lips to Damien ('Supporting An Incubus')

*-Gavin has been known to have fangs and a tail in the past when “the situation calls for it”. Unclear whether he uses fakes, whether created from magic or not, or simply shapeshifts the extra traits. (‘Picking Costumes With Your Incubus’)

**-Brachium's first thumbnail has black eyes. He also makes a comment on them to Sunshine (Brachium to Sunshine: “My eyes? Yes. I’m sorry if my appearance frightens you.” – ‘Deathwalker Gives You A Second Chance’) Based on this it can be assumed the black eyes are canon.

-Milo is the most well dressed of the wolf boys. Cares enough about what he wears enough to have multiple shoes (Asher about Milo: "just cause I don’t have a closet dedicated to my shoes like he does..." - 'Figuring Out Wedding Plans With Your Alpha Wolf Fiancé') and to worry about having specific dress socks for an outfit ('Heating Up in the Bedroom With Your Feisty Werewolf Boyfriend')

-Sam wears mostly jeans and plaid/flannel shirts, regularly enough for Darlin to comment (Sam: "What the hell do you have against flannel?" and "So what if I have a dozen of the same pair of jeans?" - 'Heating Up In The Bedroom With Your Vampire Mate').

-Sam also has a happy trail ('Heating Up In The Bedroom With Your Vampire Mate').

-Sam is light skinned enough to be seen blushing from a distance. (Sam to Darlin: "this ain’t anything you haven’t seen. I am not blushing." - 'Getting Hot and Wet in the Pool With Your Vampire Mate')

-David has had a black leather jacket gifted to him by Asher ('Tsundere Werewolf Boyfriend Teaches You How to Cook a Meal'). He's also known to frequently wear it (Milo to Sweetheart: "David’s always wearing one, figured I’d give it a shot." - 'Partying With The Werewolf Pack')

-Asher doesn't mind the idea of wearing a collar so long as it is spiked to look cool ("And it would need to have those spikes on it" - 'Sweet Werewolf Boyfriend Plays Around With You'). He now owns one (David to Asher: "Any particular reason your Ash Ketchum costume includes a spiky collar?" - 'Halloween With Your Sweet Boyfriend and His Tsundere Alpha)

-Geordi in 'Listening In On Your Crushes Thoughts' says "I mean I look good, but I don’t look great, definitely not right now, like it’s not like I dressed up or anything." Do with that what you will.

-Ollie might have a beard (or at least stubble) since what I think is beard scratching can be heard in 'Sleeping Next to Your Boyfriend'. Feel free to disagree on this one.

-Guy also has stubble at times (Guy to Honey: "thumb stroking over my stubble as we lean in close" - 'Holiday Decorating With Your Boyfriend But He's a Chaotic Mess')

-Nick regularly gives himself cat ears using magic ('April Fools: Your New Submissive Boyfriend is a Neko') 🙃

-finally I know that someone made a canon list on some of the boys' particular... assets... (A bit mature)

Some extra things:

- Not 100% on this but it could be possible that d(a)emon character logos with horns mean they have them (we know it's true with Caelum but Vega and Scorpio both have horn logos but aren't verbally said to have them. Also both Camelopardalis, Gavin, Avior and Regulus don't have horn logos and aren't said to have them in audios so who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

-Not officially mentioned in an audio either but I personally find it cool when people design Asher to have vitiligo of some kind based on his character logo

-Elliott's first audio thumbnail also has purple eyes and Marcus' has green but it could just be for aesthetics

Sorry for the long post

Because I'm very sane about redacted- here's a compilation of some implied info on how redacted's listener characters (and non-listener characters as well!) look and dress. with sources. Some are probably more obvious than others. Feel free to add more!

- Smartass is implied to be significantly shorter than Aaron [ source: Celebrating your Soft Dom Boyfriend's Promotion- ' The way you tense up just that little bit. [...] And move up onto your tiptoes to get in closer to my kisses-']

- Honey looks very intimidating to Guy back when they were still flirting because they tend to gaze at him very intensely. [Guy's 3rd BA]

- Gavin canonically has tan skin. [Arrogant Incubus Toys with You- 'strong arms...the beads of sweat dripping down this tan skin-']

- Vincent wears boots, presumably as a fashion statement (I imagine them to be those badass goth-ish looking ones) [His 2nd BA where Lovely stole his crown.]

-Gavin finds most male formal wear (e.g suits) to be boring [Supporting an Incubus ft.Damien]

[three-moving]

Lissa or Henry from Awakening!

put this one off until i could do it from my computer so i can properly look through the wiki so sorry for the delay!

lissa first:

My general thoughts & opinions on them

i did not expect to like lissa as much as i do. she's cute and bubbly and is my sunshine child in a game with so many hardships. it took me some time to warm up to her but i now absolutely adore her (and it doesn't hurt that in warriors she's swinging around a bigass axe like it's nothing -- girlboss shit right there)

Favorite moment of theirs

i've always liked the scene after fighting "marth" in ferox where lissa starts going on about how "he's so dark and mysterious... he's so dreamy..." it's just very funny to me knowing that it's actually her niece she's talking about. i don't have a great recollection of awakening because it's been a while since i last played but every so often i think about that bit and have a little giggle.

Favorite support chain

good LORD i do not remember. i went through some of her supports and the ones with frederick are standing out among them (also, i don't think i unlocked half of those in game! they feel very new to me). i think the idea of lissa teaching frederick to relax is goddamn hilarious and would be a sight to see.

My dream FEH alt for them

okay so she's already got valentines and winter yeah? i'd love to see a halloween alt for her. she's got the right energy to really have a good time in costume and i just think it'd be a fun little time!

Headcanons and/or ships I have

i didn't ship it until finishing the game and looking through tumblr, but lissa x maribelle is super cute and i just. i appreciate their dynamic a lot.

Favorite art of them

had to do a bit of searching but the one at the bottom of this post is everything to me

henry time!

My general thoughts & opinions on them

he's just a silly funny dude having a good time and i love that for him! his fucked up humour always makes me laugh

Favorite moment of theirs

his intro all the way. he's on screen for like ten seconds and you've already figured out his personality just from that. it's great.

Favorite support chain

it's not my favourite chain but henry's a-support with miriel makes me laugh. they're just. they're trying to figure out where babies come from. that's really funny to me (and also henry is just trying to be helpful to a pregnant mom and that's so sweeeeeeeeeeeeet)

My dream FEH alt for them

if he didn't already have a halloween one i'd say that for him but alas. aside from that, i'd kill for a plegian alt. if anyone deserves it it's the character that's actually from plegia. i think he'd look great!

Headcanons and/or ships I have

i can't actually think of any at the moment! i believe i had one when i was playing through the game but it's slipped my mind and i am tired of going through supports lmao

Favorite art of them

i haven't seen a lot so for now i don't have an answer, sorry!

thanks for asking and sorry for the long post lol :)

[hiddentrails7]

A few more gay-wakening quotes + a few ikesoren quotes for you raccoons (Ily u guys thank u for the support-)

Lon'qu: Hey dad- wait- I mean-

Basilio: No, no, no.

Basilio: No take backs.

Maribelle: Brady’s anger management classes are a fucking scam, mf told him to hit Owain with a brick yesterday! 

Frederick: It’s called Reverse Psychology, Maribelle…

Maribelle: Reverse? Bitch this isn’t UNO!

Ricken: Can we please stay in your tent?

Robin: Why?

Ricken: We played with a Ouija board and cursed mine....

Ricken: And Henry isn’t much help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits so he just throws salt at them and yells “does this look like a hotel to you?!”

Vaike: Beauty and the Beast, but reversed. I kiss the girl and she turns into a monster and it’s awesome

Sully: Shrek.

Vaike:

Vaike: This post is canceled

Sumia: Coward

Lissa, pretending a hairbrush is a microphone: And now for a gay update with Henry. How's it going?

Henry, starring at Ricken: Getting gayer.

Lissa: Thank you, Henry.

Donnel: Do you ever feel bugs on you when there aren't any?

Sully: Those are the ghosts of all the bugs you've killed.

Donnel:

Stahl: Look what you did, you scared him!

Robin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Chron: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a healthy sleep schedule.

Robin: Absolutely not.

Brady: Ok guys shut up *Answers phone* Hey, mom.

Owain: miSsEs MaRiBeLlE tEll yOuR sOn tO coMe bAcK tO bEd

Inigo: *Sex noises*

Owain: BABE, WE CANT HAVE A THREESOME WITHOUT YOU!

Cynthia: Tell her i say hiii!!!

Severa: pAss the wEeEEeEeeEeEeeeE-

Ike, peaking under the bed: Soren, are you ready to come out and interact with people?

Soren: *Demonic screeching*

Ike: Understandable, have a good day

Stahl: Why is there blood everywhere!??

Lon'qu: I may have aggressivelly poked someone with my blade.

Stahl: yoU STABBED SOMEONE!?!?

Lon'qu: No no, aggressively poked them with my blade..

Robin: Chrom. Is that your hand on my ass?

Chrom: Oops. My bad. It was an accident.

Robin: Your hand is still on my ass.

Chrom: Still an accident.

Doctor: Mr? Your boyfriend's awake.

Ike: Really? How is he? Has he said anything-

Doctor: Yes, he said "Tell the priest to fuck off, I'm not dead yet."

Soren, hoarse: I lost my voice. 

Ike: Well, that’s good. that means you can’t insult kings yell at me anymore!

*The next day*

Ike: So apparently, Soren's scarier when he’s quiet.

Ike: *Being Ike*

Soren: You better shut the fuck up before I look at you one day, feel warm and realize I've fallen in love with you.

Ike: Wait wh-

Soren: I'm serious, quit it! FUCK!

Ricken: Olivia, can I talk to you for a second?

Olivia: Yeah, what’s up-? Lemme guess. You have a crush on Henry and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Ricken: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

Ricken: What time is it?

Henry: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Henry: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Lon'qu: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Henry: It’s 2 am

Some dude: We have your son.

Basilio: I don't have a so-

Basilio: Oh wait. You have Lon'qu. Lmao good luck with that.

Five minutes later: PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK-

` I'm bed, bath and beyond disappointed in you. ` Gaius, after Laurent pulled another all-nighter

[sroloc--elbisivni]

A modern Voltaire....

[image text: the first image is part of a book page reading: but Casanova’s comic anecdote does reflect a common notion that sex could also be an intellectual adventure. Voltaire is said to have conducted a similar experiment with an Englishman at the court of Frederick the Great. A few days later, the Englishman told him that he had repeated the experiment, to which Voltaire replied: “Once, a philosopher; twice, a sodomite.” second image is a tweet from @ scraftpunk reading: if an individuaal has never tried broccoli, and another has tried it once, and both say “I do not like broccoli,” who has the more valid claim? in this essay, i’ll explain why it is more straight to fuck a dude in the ass once, than not at all.]

[mallorykeen]

get down on your hands and knees and pray

Magnus walked into the funeral home, leaving Hearth to stand guard outside. 

He forced himself inside, determined to find the stupid sword before any handsome firey lord dudes with excellent fashion taste did and was so focused that he didn’t notice that there were people inside, like at a funeral. 

His funeral. 

Fuck.

His entrance had now made everyone stare at him as if he was a ghost - which to them, he supposed, he was - all the remaining Chases were there, sans Frederick’s wife and his other children. 

Annabeth had now gotten to her feet and was running over. Whether to embrace him or tackle him, Magnus didn’t know but he stayed there, feet frozen to the floor, immobile. 

“Magnus? Magnus! How - I knew you weren’t dead! I knew it.”

And now he was getting hugged. Great. 

“I am dead, what are you talking about, my body’s right there, I’m just a glamour, a ghost thing to trick you. I’m not real, this is a figment of your imagination. Now if you could help me find the sword and-” 

Where the hell had Annabeth gotten a sword? A bone one too. Who the fuck owned swords nowadays unless they were medieval recrationists or- or demigods. 

He could get and/or give an explanation later. Right now he had a sword to retrieve. 

Dodging the blade at his throat, somehow, he ran over to the body and flipped it over. No sword. 

Great. Another dead end. 

“What the fuck’s going on?” And Frederick had noticed at last. “Magnus? What? I don’t understand.”

He glanced around. There was a window he could break behind the coffin. He certainly didn’t want to go near Annabeth at that moment, she looked way too scary, guarding the door, waiting for him to make an attempt at escape. Every second he lingered was a second Annabeth could tackle him in. He was under no illusions that she could easily kick his ass, even with his einherji powers. 

Randolph could foot the bill for this one. He hurdled his casket, kicking it onto the floor, making the other him fall out in a way that was truly grotesque, and smashed through the window, feet first, landing outside in the alley before running into the crowd. 

He could find Hearth later and deal with Annabeth once he had the stupid world ending sword. 

Time to make a run for it

[plush-anon]

after many hours spent pausing the show bc good lord why did they do that, i have now finished Love Never Dies

annnnnd yikes 😬😬😬

I’ll start with the few positives I did enjoy from the recorded Australian production on Youtube:

1.) the camera work. This is the kind of thing I dream of for professionally recorded shows - it really allows for some lovely close-up shots of how the emotions play over their faces, it’s lush

2.) the costumes are well-crafted, and I desperately Want the Phantom’s long-ass swooshy trenchcoat cape thing he wore for the first half-hour 

3.) the sets used throughout this are honestly very impressively used and put together for some really fantastic shots

4.) the opening, with ‘Til’ I Hear You Sing Once More’. This song is honestly very lovely, and really articulates the Phantom’s loss and heartache for Christine. It’s sung very earnestly, and had the rest of the show been more like this I might have liked it more. 

5.) the Fucking Song, ‘Beneath a Moonless Sky’, is a guilty pleasure. It’s so over the top, and it is only about recounting that One Time they totally banged yo, and I love it. I think it’s the orchestration, but it’s also enjoyably silly even while it takes itself 100% serious. 

6.) As much as I hate to say this? ‘Devil Take the Hindmost’. While I hate the gist of the song - that being Raoul and Erik betting on who Christine will choose, and pretty much deciding for her who will get to be her one true love forever, completely negating the entire point of the OF musical where her choice was the most important factor for all of them - the pacing and the lyrics as they dance around each other are absolutely fantastic. It’s kind of sad to say, but Raoul and the Phantom, in this scene alone, display more chemistry in their singing than they do with anyone else. Let the hatefcuking commence~

7.) Some parts of ‘The Beauty Underneath’ I enjoy, particularly the ending scene where the Phantom is trying to talk Meg down. It’s very slow, melodic, and shows his more manipulative side, as well as how he can crawl into someone’s head, I love it. 

8.) This very interesting visual with a mirror in Christine’s dressing room. There are two separate scenes where someone is in the mirror singing. The first is the Phantom, between Raoul and Christine. The second is Raoul between the Phantom and Christine. It’s honestly a nice touch.

9.) The main three are excellent singers. 

 Unfortunately, that’s all on the list of what I liked. Everything else is a Giant Fcuking Mess. 

1.) The Phantom is no longer a complex, messed-up, but still somewhat sympathetic character, no; this is just a giant asshole who takes everyone for granted and barely realizes that anyone else exists except Christine, and even then only really as his personal instrument. 

He never actually apologizes to Christine for the shit he’s put her through and continues to put her through, but still demands obedience and forgiveness and understanding. It completely negates the entire point of POTO’s ending, where he actually realizes he’s done wrong by her and his actions pertaining her, and lets her go from his world entirely, and RESPECTING HER CHOICES AND LEAVING HER ALONE. 

Not to mention This Bitch also threatens to kidnap/possible “lose” her child if she doesn’t sing for him, keeps pushing her around and telling her what to do, and manipulating her life to change her decisions for her. 

AND HE’S FRAMED AS THE BETTER OPTION HERE

2.) Which reminds of me of the next big asshat: Raoul de Chagny, who has now become an alcoholic gambler who pushes his wife to do things she’s not comfortable doing to repay his debts, neglects his son entirely, and also is abrasive and controlling of Christine, to the point he yanks her back and forth on doing shit. Play this role! We should leave bc he was an asshole! No now we should leave bc Phantom is back! No take the role he’s paying triple! I’ll make a bet on whether she loves me to pay my debts! No wait you should quit ten minutes before you go on-stage bc I don’t want to lose you! MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND YOU MISERABLE PISSANT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Like I can understand being overprotective to a certain degree, which could eventually morph into being controlling. But neglecting your son, your wife, drinking and gambling your fortune away? ALL of that?!? Really???

Shouldn’t he be desperate to keep his wife and son close to him at all times after the events of POTO? Never leave, never go anywhere, only do what’s safe? You COULD have set this up as a continuation of Safety versus Freedom with Raoul and the Phantom, show the good and bad of both and have her choose from there. Show the dichotomies and hypocrisies of both men’s standards. 

But nope! We’re just totes gonna make the husband like this for no goddamn reason, especially since Raoul doesn’t start suspecting that Gustave (his son) isn’t really his until Devil Take the Hindmost. He’s just that much of an idiot!

3.) The presence of Madame Giry and Meg Giry. Oh gods, where to even begin? They’re pretty much only here so that Sir Andy doesn’t have to make new characters with different backstories and motivations and introduce them accordingly. Nope! Now both women are blaming Christine for leaving the Phantom Man-Baby, and talking about everything they sacrificed to help him make his stupid-ass circus, and talking about how they love him and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Madame Giry in the POTO musical YOU LED RAOUL DIRECTLY TO THE PHANTOM’S LAIR SO HE COULD RESCUE CHRISTINE WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE BETRAYED HIM

And, oh, Meg... she reaaaaaaaaaaaaally got the short end of the stick here. I just... poor dear, she was horribly treated in this. 

Neither of them deserved to be like this, honestly. 

4.) Christine, to a lesser extent. Experienced Literal Character Assassination, forced to choose between two horrible options, stripped of her agency entirely, used as a bet in a game between said two horrible options, lied to and dragged around constantly, should have taken Gustave and run off with Meg to run a music store together. Fcuk you Sir Andy, for using POTO characters to act out your bitterness and frustration at your ex. 

5.) The entirety of the whole Boardwalk Circus schtick, spawning an additional Fuck You to Frederick Forsythe, who thought this was a tenable option for the story to progress. 

6.) The Phantom’s deformity was literally just four lines drawn onto his face with crayon and some smeared lipstick:

what even the fcuk, you couldn’t make the make-up crayon drawing more detailed??? take more than ten minutes to draw it on???

I never thought I would say this, but even the 2004 film’s depiction was better than this! At least that one partially drew from a real medical condition, Sturge-Weber Syndrome. What the fcuk is your excuse LND?!?

7.)  The Lyrics. Oh gods, the lyrics. Some songs were decent, mostly the ones I listed up top. But the rest? Did someone forget to give the writer a more advanced/creative guide to rhyming lyrics? I wrote better shit in middle school than Glenn Slater did for the majority of these lyrics. 

Glenn my dude, what the fcuk is this nonsense? You’ve written good shit like the Tangled songs and stuff for Galavant! Why are you writing worse than an angst-ridden middle schooler? It is immensely frustrating, to say the least. 

8.) The really WEIRD direction in acting. No one here acts like they know how to move their arms or hands naturally; there’s a lot of really odd and unnecessary gesturing that makes it look like everyone has just had their limbs replaced with faulty robotic arms. There’s also a lot of leaning the characters do, with their arms perfectly straight by their side and it just looks wrong. 

9.) The Phantom’s pseudonym is Mr. Y. No, they never explain why it is he chose that particular moniker. 

10.) Bathing Beauty. Just... all of it, here, tied to POTO, present and here. 

11.) It’s been exactly 10 years since Christine saw/banged the Phantom, and her son is precisely 10 years old. 

That’s... not how pregnancy works. At all. 

12.) This weird scene with the American press, where they are absolutely obsessed with Christine, despite the facts they present, such as:

- She hasn’t performed in 10 years anywhere. 

- She was a French performer, and

- She only starred in three operas at the Populaire (Hannibal, Il Muto, and Don Juan Triumphant, which wasn’t even finished. So technically 2.2 operas that we know of). 

Why, precisely, would American reporters be so obsessed with her upon hearing she’s coming? I could see some interest given the whole shebang with the Phantom, but after 10 years of radio silence, would she really garner an entire crowd of reporters and photographers... in America, no less? 

France I could definitely see. America? Not so much. 

13.) Gustave is a flat, generic kid character, who apparently is totes the Phantom’s son because... he can play the piano well. And also has the same ideas of music as the Phantom, despite never being taught about them, or discussed such things with his mother. 

Is musical talent only inherited through the father’s side of the family in this universe? I mean, we never learn about Christine’s mother, just her famous violinist father. Otherwise, why is it Gustave’s musical talent isn’t attributed to - oh, I don’t know - HIS FAMOUS OPERA SINGER MOTHER?!?

14.) Apparently the Phantom is also now the one who invented cars OH I MEAN “horseless carriages” 🙄 A carriage with no engine and a “ghost horse” appears, and everyone is just fcuking stunned by this, like they’ve never seen a vehicle move without a horse before. In 1907. 22 years after the first functional automobile was invented. Ugh. 

15.) seriously tho who thought basing a sequel on the Frederick Forsythe novel was a good idea why did nobody think to stop him apart from Sir Andy’s pet cat Otto. why.

16) The Phantom’s interactions with Gustave are distinctly creepy and unsettling. I keep getting pedo vibes from him and I Do Not Like It.

17.) The death scene at the end is so goddamn over-the-top and out of nowhere I just want to throw something, ugh

18.) And finally, my last gripe with this mess: This takes place in 1907, and declares that it’s ten years after the original musical. Despite the fact that the OG took place in 1885. Yippy skippy. 😑

I can honestly say I am Not a Fan of this musical as a whole, mostly based on the plot and the character assassinations (one quite literal) and the poor lyrics. I can admire the camera work, the basic singing ability, the scenery and costumes, and maybe two or three songs. But I just do not enjoy it. It took me two days to finish watching it because I kept cringing from what shit kept happening, and had to walk around and listen to other shit to get it out of my head. 

HOWEVER: People do enjoy this one on the sake of it being so bad and over-the-top, and I can honestly see the whys. It helps that most of the cast can sing, and the orchestration is done well. There’s a TON of stupid to mock, and a lot of over-the-top awkwardness to laugh at. This is a good one to watch and mock with friends, IMO. 

For those of you who do enjoy it, I’m afraid I have to disagree on most of it. Still, it is nice being able to watch this one for free, even if it is a giant hot mess.

And that’s all for me on this one! Have a good week guys!

[the-molecularbio-kitten]

Just a random thought that’s been bothering me. As I come up with more ideas for future fanfics, I keep coming back one of my top OTPs of fe awakening, and first lemme say that Frederick/Sumia is like, the CUTEST of her supports. Second, I don’t care what the fucking people who made it say, there’s absolutely no way I consider Chrom/Sumia canon. Number one, and this is just a minor thing/personal opinion, but why, if Chrom/Sumia is canon would they make their supports SO unappealing? It’s just... not cute, and boring. SECOND, and this is the biggest thing, if Chrom/Sumia was canon, why would Cynthia join the bandit group she joined, thinking the boss dude was Chrom? She calls the boss bandit “father” if Chrom is her dad, and she’s not Morgan so she doesn’t have amnesia, and I can’t accept that she’s just that fucking dumb that she can’t recognize her own father. No, in my opinion that is the biggest (probably only) legitimate proof that Chrom/Sumia is NOT canon

[deadinsidedressage]

Have you watched the great? How "sometimes true" is it?

Hi so first of all I took a muscle relaxer because I've pulled a muscle in my back so this might loose coherence.

Most of what I saw of it in trailers was inaccurate.

It seems they're trying to model Peter III more like the infamous very "Russian" antics of Peter I (Peter the Great) instead of having any accurate portrayal of him.

Peter III did not speak Russian as a first language or even with any fluency at the time Catherine was married to him. His mother was the daughter of Peter the Great but his father was a German duke whose family was ruling Denmark at the time. As such, Peter III was very non-Russian. He self-identified as German and his mother was part of the wave of "Western educated" nobles that greatly destabilized Russia. For one, many Russian nobles such as Catherine Petronova (Peter III's mom) spoke French as a first language, German as a second, and then finally maybe Russian as a third. Peter the Great had sought to bring Western innovations to make Russia a stronger nation but instead the royal families of Western Europe took this invitation to engage with Russia (and literally engage Russian nobles) as a way in which to slowly break the nation down. If you can marry their royals with your royals... well suddenly everyone is a German noble and you can successfully consolidate power under one European empire. Do make note that Peter the Great would have absolutely loathed Peter III and his father Charles Frederick. The entire reason we got Peter III in power in the first place was because while Peter the Great fucked (2 wives, 14 kids) he didn't successfully fuck enough to have a son outlive him to rule--- and precisely that he wasn't dying fast enough was why his eldest son Alexei briefly fucked off to Austria (so I mean no throne for you) before dying (mmmm dying from torture basically at the hands of his dad lol).

Peter the Great's immediate successor was Catherine I (his wife) as Russian has generally always operated under Tsar & Tsarina "co-rule"--- debatable how involves most tsarinas are while their husband lives but does set the precedent that should the Tsar die his wife will rule until the next in succession is old enough to take over. Catherine's death then put into power Empress Elizabeth (Peter I's eldest daughter) who by all historical accounts was a pretty solid Tsarina. Well though some stupid people will tell you Elizabeth had to stage a coup to gain power from 2 month old Ivan VI, son of her uncle Ivan V who had once upon a time co-ruled with Peter the Great before dying (possibly purposefully assassinated by his brother). Ivan V was entirely blind and senile by age 27... It was assumed that either Ivan VI would inherent these traits OR was actually illigitimate--- Ivan V was... Perhaps never all there enough to consummate his marriage. At any rate, Elizabeth had Ivan VI moved to a secure palace where he'd be allowed to live out his life under strict orders for him to be killed should anyone ever try and use him as a tool in a coup. It was the 1700s what do you want from me.

Elizabeth was Peter the Great's eldest daughter and was assumed even before Alexei's death to have some potential as a successor--- as such her education reflected it. It wasn't uncommon at all for the Russian throne to go to the eldest sister of a Tsar if he was childless, so eldest daughters were often given special tutors. She successfully navigated the War of Austrian Succession and the Seven Years War. Unfortunately, her fiancé died before her marriage AND as she was unmarried & at the time childless she could not gain a husband before her mother died and she took the throne. Yeah dudes in 1727 sucked ass and were like lmao an UNMARRIED, CHILDLESS EMPRESS OF RUSSIA??? 0/10 unfuckable her nephew is the heir apparent & there's not a high change to knock her up with a boy before he'd be able to claim the throne. 🙃

WHO WAS ELIZABETH'S NEPHEW? PETER THE FUCKING THIRD! Son of Mr. Exiled to Russia for Trying to Overthrow His Uncle as King of Sweden and Mrs. I Was Never Assumed to Have Any Political Worth By My Father So He Didn't Really Care What I Did.

As I said before, Peter III identified as a German and didn't speak fuck all Russian. He acted like a German prince and really wanted to BE a German prince. Enter Catherine II (Catherine the Great) a Prussian (is she more technically Austrian than German? who fucking remembers) princess. Empress Elizabeth actually was responsible for the matching of Catherine to Peter III. She knew that Russian needed a strong Austrian alliance since Peter III's reign would be highly scrutinized (and exploited) by the still pissed off Swedes. Catherine (then Sophie, nicknamed Fike) came from a reportedly abusive and cold mother to Russian to be wed to a drunken baby bitch boy who played with toys. Princess Joanna (Catherine's mother) immediately became a huge pain in the ass when she recognized that according to Russian custom her daughter could become Empress. Joanna was actually BANNED FROM RUSSIA FOR SPYING IN BEHALF OF THE AUSTRIAN EMPEROR by Empress Elizabeth following Catherine's arrival there. Catherine also was famously deathly ill upon her arrival to Russia and would have continued to worsen if she'd followed the medical advise prescribed by Joanna (who was anti-bloodlettting). Joanna sent a Lutheran pastor to hold a final confession for Catherine assuming she'd die and Catherine famously turned him away in favor of the Orthodox father attending to her. Empress Elizabeth fucking loved that shit. Upon getting well, Caterine converted to Orthodoxy (both her parents where BIG MAD) at which point she took the name Екатерина Алексеевна (Ekaterina Alekseyvna/ Catherine "daughter of Alexei")--- now when non-Russians take fake patronymics it's usually the russified version of their father's name or a variant of Vladimir but I've seen theorized Alexei may have been the Orthodox Father's name and I think that's more fun anyway.

Catherine hated Peter but she loved Elizabeth (mostly because of the fuck your mom be a strong woman like me) and immediately threw herself into becoming deserving of the Russian throne. She practiced her Russian lessons so long and with such frequency that she actually gave herself pneumonia. Peter though did not make the moves to he deserving off the Russian throne. He was a Lutheran, he hardly spoke Russian, and insisted on spending as much time with Germans as possible. Once his rule began he was even devising a way to give as much Russian terrority to the German royal family as possible.

Can you even believe?

Catherine had won the favor of the advisors around her husband quickly as no one loves a weak Tsar and was able to stage a coup and froce Peter III to abdicate about 6 months into Peter's actual reign. Peter III died later... Potentially in an assassination potentially not. Catherine also potentially had Ivan VI assassinated or maybe he died in a failed coup attempt by people who wanted a controllable Tsar who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️.

At any rate, no the show doesn't look accurate. I appreciate that they've taken the stance that it's not supposed to be either. There's a lot about the ways Catherine has been portrayed in media & by historians that smacks of sexism--- you often see her touted as being a huge slut who fucked her way into power but that entirely ignores that fact that she was an extremely well educated woman who got into and held power for so long by her OWN MERITS. She also was extremely dedicated to following in Peter the Great's footsteps in bringing positive aspects of Westernization to Russia without degrading the Russian culture as lesser. She never lost her Austrian accent when she spoken Russian, she was always more comfortable reading in French, and French was often the first language of her children BUT she is essentially responsible for the creation of Russia's art culture and Russian nobility actually being Russian in culture if not through ethnicity/nationality. She also did some of the largest expansions of the empire in her time which you know is good or bad depending which point you're arguing from.

[arwainian]

Reading This Week 2023 #5

Welcome to the second week of my school reading heavy life and the weirdness of formatting this when i have to read things for class in chunks instead of all at once

Started and Finished:

fe3h fic (all on ao3)-

The Short Side of Eternity by wanderlustt Vexing by DistractedSiren What Never Was by HTFNoelle Smiles That Reach the Eyes by Recipe The Moon Behind Clouds by printers_devil yours is my spring by northofkites Let Your Heart Hold Fast by wearwind Tanaras by wearwind Agabhainn by wearwind Architects of Heaven, chapters 1-8 (all currently published) by wearwind things we cannot recall losing, chapters 1-3 (all currently published) by wearwind The Signet of His Lords by queenlua Deer Among Cattle by queenlua

can you tell i had a long trip back to my dorm this past sunday? the majority of these are fics on the shorter side that i read on the plane and train ride, and then the last two i read early on in the week. really enjoyed Deer Among Cattle since I just met Judith in my playthrough

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #11 written by Mark Waid, illustrated by Dan Mora

this was my sunday morning read before i left home, and i am just so enjoying this comic even though i have not read the superman stories that it is apparently referencing and building on (according to my dad, who very happily explained what the Reveal was)

"Base and Superstructure in Marxist Cultural Theory" by Raymond Williams

school reading! this will reappear in the coming weeks as the class instructed me to read through it all together once, and then read it again in chunks taking note of specific parts. this was for my 19th c. pop culture class

"Women, marriage and the family" by Tanya Evans, from British Women 1700-1850 edited by Hannah Barker and Elaine Chalus

always enjoy some evidence based social history, this is for my Jane Austen class

Ongoing:

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

the reread for class continues! i fucking love the first proposal scene and i read portions of it outloud to my boyfriend

The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen edited by Edward Copeland and Juliet McMaster

read a section of this about what Economic and Social Class of people are represented in Jane Austen's works which was very enlightening

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, translated by Constance Garnett, narrated by Frederick Davidson

audiobook my beloved, i love reaching parts and quotes that ended up in The Great Comet bc i just become a pointing meme every time

Sam Patch, the famous Jumper by Paul E. Johnson

this dude is fucking legendary and also reading about him makes me sad because he does not seem to be having a good time

Started and Ongoing:

The Gentleman's Daughter by Amanda Vickery

more for my Jane Austen class, this one is about like landowning but untitled women in Austen's day and Wow the chapter on pregnancy and childbirth and motherhood was heartwrenching

Oathbreaker by quandry on ao3

another fe3h fic, this one is multichapter and i'm getting through it slower. unsure if i'll continue it or just abandon it to pursue other reading, but i think it's an interesting trait on a character changing sides/getting recruited post-timeskip

Beastars, Vol. 4 by Paru Itagaki, translated by Tomoko Kimura

i started reading the first chapter yesterday and then remember that there's another book that I want to be reading during my free time because I know my dad is waiting to talk about it with me so then i felt guilty and. stopped reading this? i will power through it once i have read at least one chapter of that other book

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

OT3FIC: Poodle

23/24 - "Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress." /  "The way you flirt is shameful." /  "What's in that bag and why are you hiding it here?" /  "You embarrassed me this evening."

The only reason they were both there was the guarantee that nobody from the third’s line of work would be there. Absolutely none. No Jack, no Alana, no Brian or Jimmy.

There was however Chilton wandering about among the guests, his beady eyes scanning, locating and fixating on the soft spoken empath on more than one occasion that made his stomach feel all wrong to see, even if he was not actively listening in on the thoughts of those circling around the location. And sneaking around the edges of the room was the redheaded journalist that had swindled and threatened an invitation out of some businessman that had received the second most disdainful look of the night from their host.

The honor of most disdainful had been for the two that were standing side by side against the wall watching those moving around the space, brown eyes fixed on their blond host while blue eyes darted and scanned across the space consistently. When the door had opened on the trio it was to an original smile upon the man spotting the dark curly hair one of the group, before it shifted to distaste at the other man with equally dark locks but less curly to his own and then outright hatred upon the recognition of who was underneath the soft pink wig full of waves.

Will had tried to draw attention back to himself and cheer the taller man up as he greeted him, and with a decisive action, Hannibal had ushered Will in with a hand to the back of his shoulder and a comment that there was someone he really needed the other to meet before the remaining pair could even say anything. The look of confused and apologetic eyes shot over his shoulder as Will followed after Hannibal had done little to fix the loathing mood that the other two had been in all day and then proceeded to become worse as they entered the house with a click of the latch behind them.

That look had been the last one either of them had gotten from Will thus far, as Grey rubbed his thumb comfortingly against the small of the pink haired woman’s back as she shifted her feet awkwardly in the uncomfortable heels she’d gotten from his sister for the occasion and the far too fitted dress that seemed just a little too plain compared to the beautiful evening dresses that the rest of the rugaru’s guests. The women were all in long dresses that glided across the ground and sparkled with embroidery and beads and layers upon layers of fabric, and none appeared to stumble or be as uncomfortable in their heels compared to Jo, their hair was all gorgeously styled and make up very elegant yet obvious. And yet they still didn’t compare in his book to the way the secret blonde looked far better in her plain, silk black dress that covered her feet and left too much leg visible whenever she shifted her hips without any of the detail or extravagance of the other ladies that sidled by, even if he found her stumbling occasionally in her heels far too adorable to focus for long on the flash of tan skin that would accompany it.

Jo was still shifting uncomfortably as a waiter passed by with a tray, reaching out a hand unthinkingly towards the small canape before Grey’s hand covered her immediately.

“Wait. Excuse me, what’s in this?” “What? Oh, it’s a duck liver pate with orange and congac on foie grais-” “We’re both vegetarians, can you come back with something we can eat?” “Of... of course.”

Grey pulled Jo’s hand back to her side, twisting his fingers around hers as he talked to the waiter and the woman’s face twisted into a pout that he couldn’t stop from leaning in to kiss almost immediately at seeing it as the waiter turned to speak with the next nearest group of guests.

“I was hungry-” “You are not eating meat in this house, Jo.” “But I couldn’t eat all day to look nice in this dress.” “You always look gorgeous, you didn’t have to do anything special for this of all things.” "Then why did I have to wear this?”

Grey laughed a little quietly at Jo’s grumbling over her outfit, the fact she and Will had gone to loggerheads over the very idea when he’d asked with full puppy eyes that they both go to the party that weekend had been beyond amusing at the time for the shadow. (“Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress." Jo had hissed, and then turned bright red at Will’s response of “So I can fuck you in the cloakroom if the opportunity comes up easier.”) That Will had basically squeezed their hands before disappearing in the throng of people entirely for the night so far was possibly making her extra sour at the idea that the good reason for it wasn’t around to make good on it, on top of just how aggressively angry Jo could get when she was hungry.

“Because then you look just as beautiful to everyone else as you do to me.” He reminded her gently, moving his hand to wrap around her waist as they waited quietly and a little impatiently on Jo’s end for the waiter to come back. The shadow lent in closer, speaking softly as he made to kiss her after the words were out with a smile. “In case I haven’t mentioned it already, or enough, that color looks really pretty on you, pretty one.”

“She really is very pretty, you have that right.” The clipped tone was only somewhat familiar, and as Grey drew back, he turned his head to spot the less despicable but equally horrible psychiatrist looking at him with bold curiosity at the pair. Frederick Chilton’s lips quirked into a small smirk, and the shadow felt his eyes narrowing at the way the other man ran an eye over Jo and her exposed leg as she’d stumbled forward into Grey’s embrace before. “Grey, pleasure to meet you again, I was concerned I might be the only one not... indulging myself in the delights of the evening.”

“Unfortunately Hannibal’s cooking is not particularly to my taste.” Grey practically growled the words out as he shifted his hand a little more carefully on the other’s waist to tug her back a little, moving his feet to position himself at a better position between her and the newcomer. “Too many questionable cuts of meat.”

“Very true. Not everyone enjoys the, uh, delicacy of offal to such an extent as the fine doctor.” “Or any of the other cuts he uses.” “It is such a pity that we cannot enjoy his work like the rest of his guests. Are you also unable to enjoy the festivities, Miss...?”

The way the doctor appeared to be twisting his attention away from the shadow made Grey want to grit his teeth and growl out obscenities, and the way the other man smiled so sickly sweet towards the not-blonde made that desire grow into at least half fruition as he gritted down on his teeth hard enough to hurt his entire jaw. Jo for her part looked up in surprise at being addressed, and gave a girlish sounding giggle that sounded nothing like her real laugh, before batting a hand out and speaking in the most affected Valley Girl accent he’d ever heard out of her mouth.

“Like, seriously? How funny! I’m Beth, and this party like absolutely sucks.” “Does it now?” “It’s like, how many old white dudes need to be in one place?” “And yet you’re on the arm of one.”

The peal of laughter at that seemed to have an under current of reality at that point to Grey’s ear, which was almost burning red at his own and the little voice that hissed that he did not look old from the original owner of his body’s offense at the comment, before Jo’s arm went up around his neck and her fingers began stroking through his hair as she looked up at him. Her face was so overly adoring that he knew it was false, but the look in her eyes was entirely genuine as she replied to the doctor, completely snubbing his interest. “Oh my friend is just so gorgeous though, and far younger than most people here! And not an old fuddy duddy like..” Jo tilted her head, eyes drawing away from his own to look at the dark haired doctor’s a little too predatorially, “So many of the men here. Are you like that too, mister?”

There was a pause as if the doctor was unsure what to say, before he tapped the end of his cane on the ground for a moment before gesturing towards Grey with it. “Much like your friend here, I am not cursed with dullness or age as of yet.”

“Oh, I can totally tell.” “Can you? Why ask then?” “Well, my mommy also said it’s not polite to ask peoples ages. Or what their bank accounts are like. That’s for like the second date.” “Oh.”

Grey actually had to fight down his own snort at the sheer veracity of Jo’s flirting towards the other man and the way the doctor appeared to take a step back, eyes running over her again for a moment as the persona she projected shifted from alluring stranger to clueless Valley Girl to stereotypical Gold Digger in a pretty wrapping as if calculating just how much he was worth, how much her attention was worth to him, and perhaps most importantly how much of his worth would she take with him with a stomp of those glorious shapely legs and golden skin. Jo for her part added to this with a devious smile, her eyes going half-lidded and batting slowly the thick lashes she’d mascara’d up for the night and her white teeth biting onto the corner of her bottom lip a little too suggestively; before Dr. Chilton appeared to shake his head and make up his mind.

With another tap of his cane and a second nod of departure towards Grey, as if not even once thinking about the fact Jo’d almost draped herself across a man that he knew was already ‘taken’, Dr. Chilton was gone into the throngs of the other guests with a stammered “I.. I believe I heard my name.” the only thing he left behind him.

As the doctor’s head disappeared, Jo’s grin grew even wider, the light of wickedness shining in her eyes as she tilted her head back to look up at the other - all wicked and innocent and devious just how he liked her - before her real laugh surfaced finally, high pitched and bemused.

“Oh come now, Jo-” “What? That was fun. I wonder if I can do it again with another one of these old geezers.” “Really now Jo, the way you flirt is shameful.” “Yeah, but you really like seein’ me do it hun.”

“I would like it more if you didn’t need to resort to it.” Grey retorted in return, shifting his own weight as Jo looped her other around around his neck to help steady herself, his own amusement running from just how quickly she could shift from character to herself again. It had been a good half hour that she had been on her feet in those shoes that brought her only an inch shorter than himself, and he knew by now she’d be wanting to sit down. “I’m sorry, pretty one, I don’t know much longer it will be before the whole... dinner part of the night, but it should hopefully be soon.”

“I just want to sit down.” The not-blonde whined out quietly, leaning into his chest and it felt strange for her face to tuck into his neck on top of his shoulder rather than against his chest itself, as he circled her waist in a mirrored loop to her own arms with his giving a quiet sigh in return. “And I haven’t seen Will-”

“I know, I know.” “I get all prettied up for him-” “Him only?” “Well, for his request but your enjoyment too.”

“I should very well think so.” He said, winking back as he turned his head to the side to look at her rather than out at the crowd. It wasn’t the first of these parties, and he figured it wouldn’t be the last unfortunately, that he had had to attend but it was the first that she had.

Usually Jo was out of town and Grey was dragged along with a firm hand held in his all night and the opportunity for him to drag the dark, curly haired man in for kisses that would muss up the almost sleeked look he went for upon arrival. Usually Jo was away or was curled up sleeping off the after effects of a hunt, while Grey would dress in the same navy chinos, button down and jacket of some sort that would tend to pass for the usually small gatherings that he was forced along to to ensure that Will got home safe and sound. The last party of this side, Jo was in pyjamas and laid up on the couch with a bandage wrapped around her sprained ankle from chasing Ellie through the field and putting her foot in a rabbit hole, while Grey had had to don the navy suit he was wearing now and the same plum colored shirt and trailed around the room after the FBI adviser - being introduced here or there and talking to that one woman about Monet for long enough to make the night pass quicker than a snails pace.

Grey had not spotted his conversationalist from a few months earlier so far that night, but even if he had he knew in his heart he wouldn’t have been able to talk with her like he had before as it would leave Jo alone and afloat in the room of people she could barely even fake fitting in with. Thus far they’d slowly made their way to one of the darker corners of the room as far from the loud laughter and chatter in a tone that Jo had mocked within seconds of hearing it when Grey’d guided her past and to the side of the room, but the idea of taking his hands from her for a second in this space seemed impossible for him even with the threat of Jack Crawford missing for the night. There was still plenty of dangers like Chilton and Lounds and the host himself.

“You know-” Grey shook his head as he heard Jo speaking again, his gaze having been fixed scanning the crowd again looking for Will or the host or any other eyes looking at them for too long, dragging his eyes back down to focus on her and that still devious look on her face. “- I was promised someone’d screw me in the cloakroom.”

“Excuse me!” The high pitched shocked voice came from their side, and Jo quickly dropped her hands from where she’d been playing with the top button of his button that was done up, looking as wide eyed and innocent as she could as she stumbled at the return of the waiter with a small tray of duplicated array of canapes. There was a pause as all three looked at each other before the man, who had the calm and sophisticated look that was so desirable by their host the first time he’d come past, gave an awkward cough and held out the tray. "The-these are our vegetarian dishes for the night."

Without missing a beat Jo reached out for the tray, holding it in two hands before spinning it and situating it on her left palm with the flashiness of a seasoned professional, smiling all saccharine and sweet at the flustered man before fluttering her lashes. “Fantastic, I’m sure we’re just goin’ ta eat these up. I’m.... very hungry after all.” The flash of white teeth in her overly sweet grin was pointed and dangerous, and Grey felt bad for the man as he went scurrying away before Jo’s smile dropped and shifted into a pout. “Dang it, I didn’t even get ta ask what these were.”

“Utterly shameless.” “Oh shut up.” “From the looks of it, there’s-”

“Your choices this evening are pumpkin tartlets with a goats chevre, caramelized onion jam and truffled honey topped with a crispy sage leaf, a savory profiterole of a choux bun filled with a goats cheese and onion jam filling, a selection of home-made pumpkin, roasted vegetable, and spinach and ricotta ravioli that have been deep fried with a Pakistani influence through the tahini and lemon dipping sauce, and finally,” The voice appeared to float across to them as the host himself appeared before them, his words as silky smooth as his tie for the evening and as saturated in polish. Hannibal Lecter smiled a little too sharply as he ran an eye over the pair of them with the tray between them, gesturing politely to each dish as he designated them a title as if either of them didn’t know what a tartlet or a ravioli looked like in a way that made Grey want to step on a shadow and walk him off of the nearest balcony. He could feel the tiniest flicker of distaste arise as Jo picked up one of each item as he spoke and proceeded to sniff the item before setting it back down; and the doctor’s eyes stared almost as hatefully as they had when they’d first arrived, “A Moroccan inspired pithiview with aubergine, Feta cheese, mustard fruits and Moroccan spices with saffron glazed shallots. Oh, there is also, of course, the avocado and pickled vegetable sushi in the center there as well.”

Grey had to force himself not to react as if impressed by the titles and suggested flavors of each small canape nor the craftsmanship on display with each item perfectly golden brown or crisp and clean depending on the desired outcome. The sushi was perfectly formed and layered with thin slices of avocado covering the white of the rice with a single pickled radish atop each one. The tartlets appeared overflowing with the orange filling swirled with deep, sticky purple caramelized onions and the crisp white flecks of the chevre. The ravioli were still somehow perfectly crispy and fried to perfection despite the light yellow sauce drizzled over the top; and Grey felt himself biting his lip in concern as Jo picked up one of the choux buns and made the faux pas of biting into the bun and pulling the remaining half away from her lips to look at the filling curiously rather than finishing the canape in one bite.

Hannibal’s smile twitched for all of a moment as Jo inspected her pastry before popping the remaining half in her mouth with her own smile, that same sugary sweet one but the hint of danger running much closer to the surface.

“It really is vegetarian.” “I had made the assumption based upon our last visit and your... partner’s tastes that you would be unlikely to follow in Will’s footsteps and get to truly enjoy yourself with a proper meal.” “I mean, if I knew what I was eatin’ wasn’t what I know it is-” “Such assumptions.” “Well, it’s not really my fault, doc, that I know a fair bit more than other’s innit?”

The back and forth was quick, far quicker that Grey expected from the pair who he hadn’t known had spoken before, and turning his head to watch the conversation bounce between them - the sweet look slowly melted from Jo’s face leaving behind a sneer that was so eerily familiar and a shift from cocky smile to cold fury upon the other blond’s. The sharpness of their tone belied the conversational words that danced between them, and the shadow had all of a moment before the man actually snarled before composing himself and covering it with a quiet cough.

“It really is such a pity. I had heard you were a fan of a well dressed piece of meat, Joanna, but alas.” Hannibal replied sharply, tugging gently at his cuffs for a moment before looking back at Grey with the same cold harshness before he nodded once. “I hope you both enjoy the evening and the rest of the planned festivities. And not any other shenanigans.” With another sharp smile, this time with a flash of teeth that looked more like a shark preparing to bite down upon it’s prey, he hissed out quietly before turning to the next group of guests much more convivially.

Neither of the pair spoke for a long minute, and after picking up one of the sushi pieces, Grey shifted his footing and moved to stand behind Jo as her support, hands on her waist crossing to catch his own fingers across her stomach instead, leaning down to whisper against the shell of her ear once Hannibal had moved onto the next group further away again. “What was that all about, pretty one? Since when have you actually-”

“Don’t you worry, it’s fine. I just took to visitin’ him one day and enlightenin’ him on a few things of his history.” Jo replied quietly, leaning back against his hold gently as she continued to pop each of the remaining canapes one after the other in her mouth. Occasionally, Grey heard the odd surprised noise from her, and felt himself scowling realizing that it was in enjoyment over the other monster’s food. Blinking a few times, he felt himself scowling all over again at the realization of what Jo had said, and pulled her back against himself a little more protectively as if he could retroactively keep her from whatever stupid plan she’d come up with where the doctor was concerned. “I - These are actually really good, could you make some sometime, hun? - anyway, I got to talkin’ with him and we had a lovely chinwag ‘bout his family heritage and just what that means for him so far as we’re concerned.”

“Did you now? A lovely chinwag?” “Well it was all perfectly civil for the most part.” “Most part?” “Right up until he got his pass compass to the back of the head.”

Grey felt the desire to pinch his nose the way Will sometimes would when Jo would say something so entirely frustrating and concerning and reckless that he could feel a headache coming on, and stroking his thumbs over her stomach against the soft, silky fabric, Grey couldn’t help but think this was yet again one of those things he wished he didn’t know, or could have known and stopped, or-

“Oh, you have to try this one!” Jo’s voice shook him out of the growing pain in his sinuses as she tilted her head back to look at him and held up one of the tartlets until her acquiesced and opened his mouth for her to pop it in. The flavor was phenomenal but he’d grown to expect perfection, if a little lacking in the soul department, from the other monster’s cooking over the last years. He did shut his lips in time to brush against the woman’s fingers gently, keeping eye contact as time seemed to slow down as she pulled her hand back and blinked slowly as he chewed thoughtfully over the tartlet itself.

Waiting all of a second to swallow the sweet nutty and caramelized notes, Grey leaned down and pressed his lips against Jo’s as he wrapped her up tighter in his arms. They didn’t separate at all, not even for breath, as the fingers of her right hand made their way into his hair and his own shifted and skimmed gently up her sides instead - until there was a loud clang of a gong and a waiter announcing loudly that dinner was to be served. Pulling back reluctantly but smiling as Jo’s teeth caught and pulled at his bottom lip as they released one another, Grey found himself smiling genuinely at her despite the summons being the complete opposite of an enjoyable choice when compared with the concept of spinning the woman around and backing her against the wall behind them or into that cloakroom she’d been speaking of.

“I guess we have to follow the sheep.” “Hopefully not straight into the slaughter.”

The gallows humor had him laughing, a thought to remind her of this when they finally located Will again as it would have been right up his alley, as they followed the throng of the crowd out of the room and towards the dining room that would be full to the brim that evening.

It was no surprise upon entering the room to see Hannibal already seated like a proud peacock, surrounded by his glittering feathers of the table decor and lavish design to the room itself, at the head of the table. Though that Will was still situated already at the seat to Hannibal’s right with a tiny frown concerned the shadow as he and the pink haired woman made their way along the room towards their other partner. Will’s eyes were darting frantically around as if trying to see something that he couldn’t already see, and spotting the pair of them as they neared, Grey knew something was wrong immediately from the panicked look in those indescribable eyes.

“Will-” “He’s...he’s put name tags out.” “What?” “Assigned seating, he’s actually labelled the seat placement for once-” “Is that unusual?” “For Hannibal? Yes. And you’re not next to me. I don’t..I don’t know where you are supposed to be.”

Grey could feel the chill of the host’s intent rolling down his spine, and turning to look towards Hannibal, he could see the smug smirk itching to come out as the man looked at them out the corner of his eye without appearing to look at the trio. Jo was babbling something about it not being a big deal, and that they’d be alright sitting separately for a night, and that it was fine, to Will, a hand on his forearm and working hard to calm him down when there was a booming voice from the doorway.

“So sorry I’m late, Hannibal.” “That was to be expected, I am just glad you are here in time for the main meal, Jack.” “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The voice bounced about the room, and as soon as it reached the three of them it was like a wave crashed down on them and each reacted in their own way. Jo’s hand on the other’s arm dropped entirely and her head pitched forward as the baby pink strands of her hair fell around her face distorting the chance to look at her. Will’s back went straight and rigid, eyes darting anxiously from the woman beside him to the doorway and across as Jack Crawford entered the room and approached them to move towards greeting the host more appropriately, his hands curling into white knuckled fists at the approach of his boss and the biggest threat to his happiness in his book. And Grey for his part, found his arm going back around the not-blonde’s waist and pulling her in close where if need be, he could drag her out of the room and vanish away with her in an instant if the need arose. He even felt himself twisting his feet and hips in preparation for making the mad dash away to protect and hide her if need be.

As Grey manuevered himself quietly to be ready at a moments notice, he felt his ire towards the FBI Behavioral Sciences director growing as the man placed a hard clap with a meaty hand upon the curly haired man’s shoulder as he passed before clasping the host’s hand in what should have been a crushing handshake. Will stumbled forward into his chair a little at the unexpected touching, reaching up a hand to rub at the now sore shoulder as he continued to look cautiously and concernedly between his boss and the bubble gum girl. Grey felt his teeth gritting harshly again as Jack didn’t even look back to see what had happened.

“I’m very glad you’ve made it. You’re seat at the other head I believe, just in case you were delayed further with everything that was going on at the office.” Hannibal replied congenially, his hand sweeping towards the chair seated at the far end of the table, before he looked around at his guests with the same charming smile he reserved for his flock of sheep. “If you’d all be so kind as to locate your seating assignments, dinner is almost ready to be served.”

“I...I didn’t know he was coming.” Will mumbled the words out quietly as he gripped the back of the chair, fingers white and clawed into the upholstery as the mass of other guests began moving and circling around the room as they looked for their placecards with the noise and chatter of a group double their size. The dark haired man twisted to look towards the pair, the whites clearly visible around his eyes as he had a moments flash of realization. “You aren’t-”

“I believe your seats are towards the other end of the table,” Hannibal cut over Will’s stumbling comment, that charming smile filling with menace as he looked at the three of them, his cold eyes fixed directly upon Jo’s brown ones as they stared one another down. “I had thought you’d appreciate getting to know Will’s superior in a more... relaxed setting, Joanna. I do hope you enjoy the show.”