#fuck those guys amirite

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[morninkim]

wanna work on this again, just remembered an Australia based Fakémon region I was planning out last year

These were the starters for the Legends game taking place in a fictionalised version of 1901-ish, each based on an invasive species:

Serperior (Grass/Ghost) - invasive rubber vine and Madeira vine + other invasive weeds

Cinderace (Fire/Ground) - based on invasive rabbits and hares + rugby players

Greninja (Water/Poison) - based on cane toads + swagmen

[jackass-jones]

A funny, kinda annoying thing I see a lot as someone who’s read my fair share of m/m fanfic is watching women (cuz 99.9% of the writers tend to be women) trying to figure out how guys talk to each other and just making them like. Really gross and weirdly misogynistic for the sake of “authenticity” in male interactions akdjks. Like the guys will just be like “chicks are great, I love fucking them and looking at their fat tits and never calling them again when they get all clingy” and you look at the character saying this and its like Luigi

[teethcore]

i'm so jealous of everyone online who describes having breakthroughs while tripping and coming out of it with significant mental health improvements and whatnot. i feel very hopeful and confident about my future if i start introspecting while i'm actively high but it all goes away after.

[choropilled]

i was so invested in the idea of jiwoon and nyaa chan collab i forgot my lore for him is he's already debuted in japan. she should be allowed to bully him for having to redebut

[on-leatheredwings]

request: "how dick would handle learning reader is dating somebody?"

Yandere! Dick Grayson / GN! Reader > romantic > tw/cw: possessive thoughts, suggestive thoughts > word count: 660

Dick is 100% going to sabotage it. 

He had been so excited to spend the night with you – even if it is still entirely platonic. A movie with friendly snuggles was better than no movie and no snuggles, right? 

The snacks are classic theater popcorn, sour candies, chips, soda. The theater is your bedroom. A mountain of pillows and blankets are your recliners for the evening. Premium comfort. 

Following the plot of the movie goes out the window once your head drifts sleepily onto his shoulder halfway through the film. Dick tempts fate by reaching his arm around you. He feels jitters when you don’t protest, seemingly agreeable to the contact. You don’t even move once the movie credits start to play. 

It’s a good night so far. A great night.

Then you speak. 

“Oh!” you snap your head to him. Dick does the same, heart jumping with surprise. Snuggling had put him nearly in a tranquilized state. You sit up out of his grasp, and leave him cold and wanting. “You’re always talking about how I should get the house… Well, I forgot to say earlier, but I’m kind of seeing that cute pizza guy I told you about!” 

Dick just stares at you, a smile frozen on his face.

“Oh! That’s awesome!” he says. To his grief, you begin to tell him all about it. “Uh huh. Mm hmm.” he says to your gushing. It was lucky that you were so enamored with your daydreaming that you couldn’t notice his robotic nodding or the displeased glint of his eyes. Dick knew this day may come – you finding someone before he’s ready to pursue you. There are admittedly some things he enjoys about being your friend rather than your lover. Majority of it is feeling like he’s undercover, playing a cat-and-mouse game you aren’t even aware of. But that doesn’t mean you won’t feel attraction to someone else. So Dick has a plan.

The first order of business is making the target of your affection look as incapable as possible. That’s not hard. He is Dick Grayson. He is five-ten and 177 pounds of capable. Most people pale in comparison. He’ljust be a little suggestion, here and there.

“Oh, he’s not treating you to dinner? Well, fuck those stuffy, traditional roles, amirite?” 

“That’s where you had your first date? … He’s really thrifty.” 

“Wait, he volunteers re-socializing homeless abused puppies only once a week? I figured we all make time for it at least every weekday.”

He just needs to plant the seeds of doubt. Give you what people call, ‘the Ick.’ Once you break it off with that guy, surely, you’ll be feeling the temptation of bouncing to someone new. But who…?

That part’s the easy part. (Actually, it’s all pretty easy for him.) Dick will get you to notice just how great he is. He’s charming. And handsome. And rich. And flexible. He just needs to take you out to swim, or skating, or the gym, or the park – anything that would enable him to slide his hands across you. He can already imagine lengthening your arm, putting it gingerly in the right position. He can imagine the sweat beading on your temple. He can imagine your lip bite as you struggle to ignore his chest against your back as he stretches you out.

Dick relaxes, leaning back. He still offers vague commentary in the conversation, but his mind is racing with many other possibilities. Your body. His body. Together.

“But enough about that!” you say finally. “Let’s put on another movie.” Your brow raises cheekily. “Horror movie? And first one to scream owes the other twenty bucks?” 

“I’ll take that bet,” Dick hums. 

At your clear excitement, he feels his cheeks warm. He admires how the blue light of the TV screen reflects in your gorgeous eyes. Maybe he’ll let you win anyway, if only because he loves the look on your face when you do.

[natequarter]

just one last timeblr thing and then i swear

0 notes

💣 commiedyke Follow

just watched the president of gallifrey down a bottle of ibuprofen citing 'what's the worst it can do, kill me?' mum come pick me up i'm scared

💣 commiedyke Follow

ok so apparenly time lords are immune to ibuprofen. why did the professor not just tell me this when i asked

#ace speaks #literally he stood in front of me whilst i was watching all of this and said. nothing. #i was thinking romana might DIE and he said NOTHING #duuuude i hate this shitass plsnet

7 notes

👑 fred Follow

watching some 90s earth show with ace let's see how this goes

👑 fred Follow

oh no she's hot

#shut up romana #might have to use that as my next face... #also who thinks buffy and spike should kiss #btvs #<- new tag!

5 notes

💣 commiedyke Follow

hey why did the professor die and turn into a prettyboy

#ace speaks #like wtf not even a warning? #unwarranted #imagine if your dad turned into a cute edwardian one day and then he lost his memory #yeah i know my struggles are unique

2 notes

💣 commiedyke Follow

watching buffy with the lads (<- a couple of loser time lords + leela) let's see how badly this goes lol

💣 commiedyke Follow

UPDATE: romana just said the vampire lady was hot shit (not in those exact words but you get me) and tbh she's not wrong

💣 commiedyke Follow

her exact words were "i'd die to be her" btw

💣 commiedyke Follow

UPDATE 2: she did die to be her

�� the--adventurer8 Follow

yeah this has happened before :p

💣 commiedyke Follow

w. what do you mean. before. professor what do you mean before. professor????/

#ace speaks #he can't keep getting away with this

84 notes

⚔️ warqueenextraordinaire Follow

Just regenerated. Thoughts?

💣 commiedyke Follow

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

⚔️ warqueenextraordinaire Follow

I'll take that as a no then

#Harsh

69 notes

🪨 vislorturlough Follow

guys i solved it. it's maff boy

✈️ donewiththisshit573 Follow

Can you fucking STOP

#he'll never know if he was right and you keep MOCKING HIM???

8 notes

💣 commiedyke Follow

leela just told me she doesn't have periods????? never mind 'other mammals don't do this' apparently other HUMANS don't do this? we can evolve that shit out??? brb killing myself

#ace speaks #more like ace SCREAMS amirite lads

5 notes

🚬 fitz-crier Follow

ineed hium ttothrow me intotthe hesrrt of acnucelar reactor. ansd causeeworld war rthee.

0 notes

⚔️ warqueenextraordinaire Follow

Does anyone else on this website ship Scully and Mulder or is it just me

💣 commiedyke Follow

i regret getting you into 90s scifi so much

#you have no idea

30 notes

🐧 coordinatorsupreme Follow

What is "Friends"?

💣 commiedyke Follow

posts that are funnier without context

57 notes

[malestransforming]

I’ve always wanted to be a young stud biker. Dumb, smelly leather gear, and obsessed with fucking.

snap

Welcome, slut. I love leather too. Bikers are fucking hot, right? And you’re about to become one!

That’s it, take off all your clothes. Swing your dick around just like that. You’ve got some extra weigh on you, let’s get rid of it. You’ll need to be slender and aerodynamic. You’re not jacked, but you’ve got some muscles. A nice flat stomach. There, that’s nice. You have a big ass too; some perfect cushion for those long rides. And with a perfect hole that will beg to be filled, but I’ll get to that in a second.

You want a bigger dick? This thing is a two-hander! Go ahead and give it a rub. Feels good, amirite?

Back to that hole of yours. You’re gonna crave dick inside you. You’re gonna love it when guys cum in your ass, sloshing their seed up in you. You’re gonna drip cum out your asshole and love it. You’re a fucking cum slut.

I got the last piece for you - your very own motorcycle leathers. Go ahead and throw them on. You don’t need underwear! You’ll be able to rub one out on the side of the road this way. Trust me, it’s easier. Slide into those boots. You don’t need sock either. Let your feet get nasty inside. The smell makes it better.

Fasten your helmet and straddle your bike. You look fucking gorgeous. Now ride off and find a dick to worship.

[theunholybastard]

Kinktober: October 21st - Double Penetration (Papa Emeritus III x Omega x Female!Reader)

Tags: Double Penetration, Threesome, Monster-Fucking, Size Kink, Light Pain Kink, Praise, Creampies, 2nd Person POV

It's no secret that Terzo got around. And furthermore, it's no secret that he had his favorites. Everyone knew the third Papa had taken a particular liking to his most loyal Ghoul, Omega. He had certainly possessed a type for tall, beefy men, and Omega fit the criteria to a T.

Getting fucked by a Ghoul is far more different than it is with a human, the proportions drastically... larger. It was rougher, animalistic. The claws, the teeth, the inhuman strength, it was addicting. It's a wonder Terzo would still want to have sex with humans after taking a knot for the first time. But as much as he loves to be dominated and ruined by a Ghoul twice his height, hes also quite fond of doing the dominating. Not dominating Omega, no, that'd be like a chihuahua trying to hump a mastiff. But on the occasion, Terzo and his Ghoul enjoy taking in a willing sibling to share for the night, and destroy.

Tonight was one of those nights. You've been fawning over Papa Terzo for months now, and today must've been your lucky day, as he has finally returned your attention. He was up front about his intentions when he invited you to his chambers. He had told you this would most likely be a one night endeavor, and he had explained how rough the two of them were planning to be, sharing a safe word just in case it ever got too much for you, and finished by asking if you could take it. You were more enthusiastic than he expected, unbeknownst to him, you had a taste for Ghouls as well.

When you showed, they were already warming themselves up. You walked in on Terzos mouth impaled on Omegas cock, taking in a surprising amount like he was a professional. You could see the outline of the Ghouls large length moving in his throat. Terzo pulled off when he noticed you, a string of spit connecting his puffy lips and the tip of Omegas dick. "There she is!" Terzo cheered, a goofy smile plastered on his face. His paints were already heavily smeared. They were clearly having quite the time already without you, and in the grand scheme of things, they didn't really need you there. But they wanted you, that's all that matters.

"Make yourself comfortable." Omega suggested, patting the empty space on the bed. You did as you were told, already expressing obedience. The men clambered off of each other, focusing their attention unto you now, beginning to strip you of your clothes. Their hands grope at every inch of skin that is made bare to them, whispering sweet praises into your ear, though it's Terzo who's doing most of the talking.

Their touches feel drastically different from each other, but both feel incredible. Terzos hands are soft, warm, his grip gentle but confidently assertive. Meanwhile Omegas were noticeably bigger, calloused and rough, his grasp tight and possessive. You could feel his claws scrape at your hips when he pulled down your panties, accidentally, but the sensation sent a jolt of arousal straight down to your core.

Terzos fingers prodded your hole the instant it was exposed to him, your slick allowing him to slip two inside with ease and curling upwards. You cry out, head thrown back as the two have you sandwiched in between them, rendering you unable to escape even if you wanted to. "Does that feel good, tesoro?" Terzo cooed. Your moans of appreciation were all he needed to hear in response.

"We have to get you nice and stretched for this. You'll need it for this guys cock, amirite?!" He swatted Omegas shoulder playfully, causing Omega to roll his eyes and stifle a bashful smile. "We don't wanna hurt our pretty girl now, do we?" Once Terzo is satisfied with his fingering, he pulls out his fingers, licking up the excess wetness with a shit-eating grin.

They get you into position, on your elbows and knees, holes exposed and glistening. Terzo is behind you first, lining himself up with your cunt, pushing in. Your mouth hung agape from the stretch, and Omega took that as an invitation to stuff the tip of his cock in your mouth. He was absolutely fucking massive, you couldn't even take it a quarter way in without gagging. No way it's going to fit in your cunt when his turn comes. Still, he strokes your hair and encourages you, never taking his eyes off of yours.

"Your mouth feels so good, pretty girl. J-just like that. You're doing great." Omega hums, biting his lip to conceal his pleasured grunts. Terzos thrusts are set at a medium pace, calculated to slam against your cervix with every buck. "Her mouth feels good?" Terzo questioned, talking to Omegas as if you weren't even there. Omega nodded. "Fuck yeah."

"Not as good as mine though, right?" He teased with a grin, a hint of jealousy embered in his voice. Omega groaned in annoyance, paired with one particular gag from you that had your throat tightening around his shaft that pulled that throaty noise from him. "Don't put me in this position." Omega tutted, Terzo throwing his head back in laughter. "How's her cunt?"

"So tight." Terzo huffed, his pace speeding up. "Such a perfect, wet pussy. You're going to love it." You clench at his words, Terzo chuckling at the reaction. "She gets tighter the more we talk about her. She loves the attention, isn't that right?" You hum contently around Omegas dick. Terzo licks a stripe on his finger, lubing it up, before sticking it in your ass, no warning. You didn't need one. You knew what would happen before you arrived. Still, the penetration startled you initially, yelping and tensing around both the cocks that were splitting you. Omega smiles at the feeling. "You're fun." He comments.

Terzos fingers work your ass open, prepping you for something bigger. He revels in the fact he can feel his cock fucking your pussy through the walls of your ass, but he doesn't comment, for the first time in his life rendered speechless. "Do you want a turn with her cunt, Omega? Looks like her asshole is ready for me." Omega shakes his head enthusiastically, popping your mouth off his dick gently. Terzo pulls out as well, sitting you up to where both of your holes able to be accessed to the men now. Terzo, still behind you, now lines up with your asshole, and Omega, with his ridiculously big manhood, aligns with your pussy. You brace yourself.

They both push in in-sync, your body clenching and instantly subconsciously rejecting the feeling of both of them at once. They keep going, Omega already setting a cruelly fast pace, unfair on your poor cunt. Terzo, as gentle as he could be with your ass, is still stretching it out so incredibly wide, you feel like you're about to explode. Arguably two of the biggest cocks in the ministry were splitting you in half, and you were completely helpless.

The overwhelming sensitivity would cause you to cum quite soon, your legs convulsing and screaming so obnoxiously loud, you'd think someone was being murdered. Their paces were unrelenting and unreal, you could practically feel them in your stomachs. All you could do was babble incoherently, "it's too much, t-too much!" But you knew what to say if it actually was. And you knew they weren't going to let up unless you said it. No matter what.

"Oh, tesoro. You feel fucking exquisite. D-doesn't she feel fucking divine, amore mio?" He gestures to Omega, who looks out of it, pussy-drunk and mindless. "T-this is the t-tightest fucking c-cunt. Holy shit!" Terzo doesn't bother back with an annoying quip, 'tighter than my asshole?' because after having been inside two of your holes, he knows the answer.

Terzo is the first to cum, his warm liquids filling the gummy walls of your ass. The sensation felt foreign, but you welcomed it. Omega takes a little longer to do so, hips stuttering and breathing growing heavier. But he achieves the end goal soon enough, excessive, thick spurts flooding your womb. They still, filling you up to the brim, piercing you while they smushed your torso to rest their bodies on each other. Terzo leans over you to kiss Omega, their tongues dancing obscenely with each other's, saliva dripping down their chins. Their cocks twitched inside of you, your poor, abused holes just aching and throbbing.

You could fall asleep like this, sandwich between two sweaty hunks. But like all good things, it must come to an end. They both pull out, much to your dismay, and clean you up. They cuddle you, they shower you in reassurances and praises, and after the aftercare is finished, it's time for you to leave. You don't take it personally. You're sure there's plenty of private moments they'd want to be having right now. They were in love with each other, after all. And they were in love with your pussy.

-

[transfemme-shelterdog]

hey i heard you were accepting personal stories from people who have experienced transandrophobia. i have some complicated experiences around my sexuality that intersect with TA while not exactly being TA so i hope it's okay to share those too. im horrible at being concise so my apologies for the essay 🥲

---

i have always known I was multisexual, but around 11-12, i learned that my attraction to everyone was actually queer (i thought it was the default and people just tended to pair up in m/f relationships to have kids. i was very lucky to avoid direct queerphobia as a child and form that viewpoint.) after learning this, i obviously became very invested in learning about my identity and other queer people and the struggles we face, and i immersed myself in the culture. i found the other queer kids in middle school, and spent a lot of time online learning about different identities.

it was wonderful to find people like me! but unfortunately, from the moment i stepped into these queer spaces as (someone who used to be a) woman, i was blasted with "all men are disgusting predators, wlw relationships are morally superior and lesbians are the most oppressed because they deny men access to their body, KAM lol, etc..." like, not even kidding, this shit was EVERYWHERE being blasted at top volume from the rooftops. I internalized it and repeated it because it felt cathartic- at the time i WAS a woman who liked women, so it included me, and felt great- like getting vengeance.

but i was still multisexual. i still liked men. i never really openly talked about my attraction to men- instead i did the usual "haha being bi/pan? attracted to every woman and two men amirite?" thing. but i discovered yaoi/mlm smut and got very into it in a non-cis way, the typical transmasc experience... but i convinced myself my attraction to men was purely sexual, and suppressed my romantic attraction to them. after all, in real life, "men are icky oppressive pigs! im pansexual, but i only feel romantic attraction to women! men are unlovable and only good for porn!"

i ended up dating a woman in high school. everyone assumed we were lesbians. we didn't often correct them. we were both pan, and talked about our attraction to men like cis men talk about women: objectifying them, commenting on their bodies, talking about how they were only good as fucktoys, and how they should learn their place and bottom for women (i was also really into femdom, tangentially related.)

then, i met actual trans people irl and online, and we became friends. they talked about how they felt about their gender and their dysphoria and i listened closely and.... oh no, that's relatable. the cracks in my egg started growing. but the last thing i could ever be was a man- "im a butch who likes queer femmes! not a nasty man who likes gender conforming feminine women!"

my journey out of the closet was severely stunted by the extremely prevalent hatred of men in queer spaces. i tiptoed out at a snails pace, terrified of my truth.

for a few years i said, "okay i can be a cistrans she/they nonbinary woman, and still be a butch that other wlw will feel safe around!"

another year goes by and.... "actually im just agender. i can reject the idea of manhood AND womanhood, im just a person. but but but! im deeefinitely a nonman i promise! you guys don't hate that i want to start testosterone right?" (they did.)

another year went by. "im nonbinary and transmasc but NOT a man, mayyybe a demiboy! i want HRT and top surgery but I would NEEEEVER want a penis! penises are disgusting weapons used to rape and hurt women, and i love women!"

it took me 5 fucking years of my transition to accept my binary manhood (alongside my nonbinary gender) because of this shit. and an additional few years to accept that I actually did want bottom surgery.

alongside that revelation and unpacking of my hatred of men came the realization that im not pansexual. i actually do have a slight sexual and romantic preference towards men, and i just like femmes of every gender. i started labeling myself as a bisexual faggot instead, and a label truly felt like home for the first time.

i also had to unpack the idea that loving women as a man isn't inherently oppressive. seeing representation of m/f love that isn't straight- or straight m/f that defies patriarchal heteronormativity- feels extremely affirming to the way i experience my queer attraction to women. (transmasc heterosexuals wya? i love you guys so much, and I feel so much solidarity with you ❤️)

throughout this entire painful journey towards my true self, so, so many queer women treated me like absolute shit. i had a cis lesbian friend who came onto me, and when i told her i wasn't a woman and wasn't interested, she responded, "what a waste. you make such a hot butch lesbian right now. why would you ruin yourself with T?"

multisexual women would shame me for not jumping into self-flagellation over my attraction to men. when i told them why, and the harm it caused me and how it made me mislabel myself for years, i was told that "it's better that you're bisexual instead of pansexual because you can have a preference for women! that's what we do!" when i told them i actually relabeled because i prefer men, and i am a trans man, i was told i'm not welcome in queer spaces because im "making our lesbian allies feel unsafe."

but then, even after being ostracized and forced out of queer spaces because im an "invader..." nonqueers would also harass and mock me. i get threats of corrective rape from misogynistic men to "fix me," and "turn me back into a normal pretty girl." when i express attraction towards men, they tell me that "i look like a man, and any guy that would fuck me is secretly a fag." when i express attraction towards women, im a "nasty predatory dyke trying to steal them away from men." surprise surprise, they don't actually see me as a woman or a man, but some freakish third thing that corrupts everyone around me.

i don't know how to end this. ever since coming to terms with my manhood, my desire to be masculine, and my love of men, i have been treated worse and worse by nearly everyone. i don't feel like i belong anywhere, both because of my transmasculinity and my bisexuality.

i am so much happier with myself of course, and i feel truly satisfied with my identity now.... but it's been really hard. idk what people are talking about with masculinity always being rewarded. my experiences have been the exact fucking opposite.

.

[carionto]

Not "Party Hard" Enough...

As the Galactic cruise ship "Vinogradova" exits hyper space, the wealthy guests congregate at their viewing stations for the scheduled milling about in fancy dress and secretly getting wasted while some tour guide recites Galactipedia about whatever planet they're orbiting now.

"Here we have the illustrious Nestrall'anwa II, a most unique ocean world due to it's near perfect stillness. Eons ago a cataclysmic event destroyed it's only moon, creating a temporary ring around the planet, which we can see in this holographic recreation."

A massive array of projectors from the cruise ship emanate around the planet itself, creating a literal holographic debris ring. A most spectacular sight indeed.

"The tectonic activity is unusual as well, the plates are all moving in roughly the same directions, a sort of secondary spin cycle if you think about it. The planet spins around its axis, and the crust rotates around the mantle. Though this will become more chaotic in about six million years when one of the smaller plates will catch up and start creating underwater mountains. It is estimated that one day this planet will be incredibly mountainous and likely be able to support life."

Suddenly, the ship was being hailed by a signal coming from the water planet. After the automated system verified it is a valid source, Human no less, they opened the channel. Instantly, they were greeting by loud and obnoxious Human music, Rock'n'Roll it is called.

"Sup dudes! We saw that light show you guys put up earlier, could you do it again? That shit was sweeeeeet! Surf up!" The audio message was followed by a strange single hand gesture emoticon with the first, second and fifth appendages extended, and the third and fourth bent inwards.

Upon complying with the Human's request, the crew decided to go into manual mode and check what the fuck was going on here.

Apparently, the Humans had set up a series of floating platforms on the planet, using typical resort and amusement design patters. The Humans were mostly engaged with consuming various colorful liquids, undulating in strange patterns on a colorful floor with a mirror ball drone floating overhead, and many more were on colorful boards of some kind. Standing upright and trying to keep balance. On waves.

Wait.

Uhh...

There's three moons now.

Um, Humans?

"Sup brah! Yeah we brought the moons over. This place looked dope, we were hoping for the perfect surf world, but it was so boring when we got here a few months back. But then my bro remembered he worked on one of those space experimental projects or whatever, but after running out of funding, they had some spare moons just lying around Jupiter. So we figured, 'Hey, nobody is using these, this planet needs some juice, win-win.' Amirite!

And, um, did the Coalition approve of the moving of celestial bodies into neutral systems, per the Jimothy Law?

"Pshaw, nah bruh. Paperwork is for the computers, we're meant for the thrill, dude or dudete or dudit. Dudethem? Dudio! Dudorama... wait, is it Deuteronomy? Dudada!"

The Human continued to count variations of the term for the next several minutes, perhaps inebriated by some kind of mind altering substance, though it can be hard to tell with some Humans.

The captain of the ship decided that it's beyond his pay and they're just gonna continue the tour. Some of the Human tourists and even a couple of heavily intoxicated others did decide to cut their trip short and visit this newly tidally active world with it's Human introduced activities. Surfs up!

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons

I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.

Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.

I.E.(this list is going to be looong):

All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...

The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.

Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…

… so-called "gay button" into your games.

Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…

"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.

If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!

Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?

Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).

But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.

Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.

Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.

And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.

If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!

So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!

If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.

Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!

The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0

9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.

"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.

Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.

Mass Effect:

MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.

Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.

Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.

I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.

Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"

Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.

Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.

Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.

Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.

Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.

And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.

[monstress]

arcane s2 thoughts

prayinggg we get a no soundtrack version because while i do like a few of the tracks (yes even Enemy!!!), there are more duds than hits and they take me out each time

also obviously i'm a Jinx Is Alive truther because of the ending scene of cait staring at the air ducts to the hextech tower fiddling with a fragment of her bomb...come on. jinx has said in the start of the season that she wanted to leave piltover/zaun and with isha gone and her sister happy, she can finally do that

i am very invested in jinx and vi's relationship so when jinx without any hesitation chose to let herself go from vi's grasp and destroy warwick (both something that vi could not do) which in one fell swoop legitimizes her agency, protects vi from a monster, saves vander from eternal hell - i'm like yea...[sniffs] that's a redemption arc baby

jinx and vi. piltover and zaun. they'll always be sisters...yea....

i admire the open ending with the airship. but she did say she'll ride one of those things one day. yay.

maybe an unpopular opinion but i liked cait this season. finally some bite and controversy and trauma to her choices. she was way tooooo comfortable in s1. while she's still a cop, at least she's interesting now!

also ok....yelled and hollered when lesbian sex is finally happening. rejoice guys - i thought we will never get it

the writing pace of this show is bonkers and i understand they need to keep it tight because of animation budget but what the helllllll was that viktor machine herald speedrun. it felt like it needed a good one more season to incubate and i was overwhelmed with that + jayce's heel turn + mel's superpower reveal like hold on hold the fuck onnnnnn what does this meannnnnn

gay sex in hextech void deus ex machina goes crazy tho

like oh yeah i am cosmically tied to only one man in this world and he alone can guide me to the error of my ways in any universe

ok!

mel being the most specialest princess in the entire world seems right imo. i can easily be riled up to sycophantic fervor to serve in her army just say the word ma'am 🫡

let's not forget the tragic irony that Mel was exiled by her mother and has tried to carve her own path through diplomacy and peace in defiance but ends up finding herself sitting in her mother's steel ship in her colors with her army with so much power in her veins and now leaves the city she loved that her mother ruined too. mel merdada one of the characters of all time......

and i am a number one sap so!!!!!!! the flashback scenes this season got me hurting real bad. when i thought i was devastated by Remember Me...here comes s2e7 to punch me in the gut

the fact happiness and normalcy was possible for powder...the fact that powder will never use hexcore because of what happened to vi and it made all the difference. vi's death unknowingly protecting her sister (and the world!) from beyond the grave...i am sobbing my eyes out

also as a season one timebomb shipper, thank youuuu arcane writers i didnt expect this at ALLLLLLLLLL???? it was written like everyone knows they were an item except themselves??? i have done nothing to deserve this but thank you

UPDATE: i hv been informed that they are already dating in the alternative universe from background details. even more delicious

i am just happy to be here and prepared to be devastated

vanderco Real. like don't even waste your breath to say they aren't when they look like they are glowing in domestic bliss. what's some light stabbing and drowning between married couples amirite fellas

claggor and mylo!!!! i didn't expect to get emotional seeing them since idrc but seeing them grown up like ohhhh these are vi and jinx's brothers...and they'll never know this life...okay.....

the alternative timeline pretty much put a bandaid to the pain and suffering for the past 2 seasons and as contrast for more suffering. i love it. the writers are so diabolical

heimerdinger sacrificing himself for ekko is ok for me lol idc abt him goodbye cheesepuff

i still need to process the Ambessa vs MelCait fight. im quite sure there's some great parallels there

but Ambessa as a character is sooooo fascinating. while i hv qualms making a prominently Black character be an imperalist warlord (othering her with her accent too), Ambessa i fear is so so very cool and i was slightly rooting for her ngl like i can't hate a cunning ambitious woman it's against my nature!!!!!

i am gonna think abt mel holding up ambessa like repin's painting of ivan the terrible for a longggg time

side note: i love that sevika finally got what silco wanted all along - a seat at the (council)table. like that's my wifeeeeeee. lib ending i know i know since the best ending is a free state of zaun but like narrative wise it would notttt make sense at the point of time. but also since they never confirmed anything, i wanna say they'll have a go at dismantling the power structure that is oppressing zaun with sevika keeping an eye on it. not a perfect solution but i'll take it rather than leave it

so will i watch another show on LoL?

mmmm.......anyways guys watch Penelope of Sparta!

[argumate]

what bugs me about *crowd perks up* those David Guetta remixes *crowd groans* is that they are insipid; they take quirky stories (he's a little guy! who lives in a blue world!) and extract the merest sketch of the melody and attach it to the most bargain basement possible lyrics (thank god it's Friday, amirite??) and they don't even hype it the fuck up with some airhorn or anything, like even the production is half-hearted, you're trying to reimagine Dragostea Din Tei for crying out loud, the numa numa guy set a high bar here, you have to channel some of that energy!

[turtle-ly]

Can I read the 10+ bullet points for the differences in the magic cores for mtwgo?

asdfghjkl its actually quite short! you see, when i explained how wukong and mac came to life i also noted that wukong was a special case because the guy somehow got a living heart despite being born from an element, compared to mac who originally didnt have one but grew it to match wukong (woah bestie goal amirite?). Thats because in jttw and general chinese myths, a lot of demons were animals or plants that absorbed power or self-cultivated to become higher beings i.e demons (yaoguais). In mtwgo, aside from the heart from their original animal form (plants dont have hearts yo), the magic they gained becomes the magic core, containing all the supernatural power they have. wukong the rock should have no heart yet he's the universe's lil guy so he gets one :3

Theoretically, if their heart got damaged or destroyed, it affects their physical health the same way as mortals - they just fucking die lmao. meanwhile if their magic core got damaged or destroyed, they lose parts of their power/become powerless and revert to their original form, like how the demons in jttw turn back into plants or animals when they got beaten. However, the longer a demon lives, the deeper the connection between their magic core and their body is. they have used magic to sustain their humanoid form for so long that the magic flowing from their core works just like blood - being suddenly cut off from it will make their body collapse in on itself, the flesh no longer remembers their base form. Being killed through the magic core is slightly quicker than the actual heart, because if the core is still intact, it will try to heal the injuries. Having the core be destroyed also prevents other beings from stealing the core to add magic to their own.

This is to say, if one got their core destroyed but their heart intact, and they somehow has an immediate transfer of magic similar to a blood transfusion or even a heart transplant in worse cases, they might live long enough for regain their physical health. But this practice is extremely risky and has a fatally low chance of success, like real heart transplant surgery needing everything to match between the donnor and the patient yknow?

Anyway, thats why wukong (the freak), mac (the simp) and dbk (the most normal demon guy in the gang) possess heartbeats. mac's heartbeats are in sync with wukong btw, that tibbit i wrote in chapter 4 flashback was literal :))) so how are they different from the camel ridge trio? well, the trio were celestial soldiers in origin right? all celestial-born soldiers are created from the endless well of celestial energy, they pop into existence ready to serve. without mortal origins, they dont have hearts, just magic cores that once destroyed, give them the good ol' spiderman's i dont feel so good mr stark style death. they may appear to breathe, to pant, to wheeze, but those are just the effects of the rise and ebb from magic use.

uh now that im done rambling the answer is not as short as i thought lmao, theres another paragraph pertaining to this concept but that'd be slight spoiler so i'll hold onto it for later, thanky for giving me the chance to talk Lore™ :3c

[kiichu]

Adam told me to deliver this message to you guys if you've seen the leaks from Season 2:

So! If you bitches have seen those fuckin' leaks for Season 2 of that Haz-brat's Hotel...

Yeah, maybe Dangertits is imagining a badass version of me to give her some copium (I mean, who wouldn't since it's me, amirite?), but that doesn't mean the Dickmaster's not somewhere waiting to come home baby! Have a little faith in me! Maybe I'll appear somewhere down the line or in the super-ultra-secret season ending stinger?! Oh oh oh, that sounds COOL!

Seasons 3 and 4 were greenlit, baby! There's still PLENTY of time for me to come on by again, especially since I'm so popular~

Even if, for some fucking stupid reason, I'm PERMA-dead in "canon," well... you bitches know that your fanfiction shit is just as ~valid~ as canon, right? It's all made up, so go wild. You know that whole Death of the Author thing? Use that fuckin' shit right now!!

Shit's cut and moved around and changed all the time. Don't sweat the small stuff. You got to see THE fuckin' Adam in season 1, and at least you'll see me a little in season 2. That's something you can brag about.

Abel's a loser. There, I said it. Fuckin' marching band looking ass weenie. He can't take my place.

HAVE! FAITH! IN! THE! DICKMASTER!!!! Whether the story brings me back or not, I live in your creations, and I'm WAAAAAY cooler in those anyway! 🤘