#fuck the stormcloaks

[leander-was-here]

Safe return.

“You’re alive!”

“You made it back.

We both did.”

Thinking about Ulfric and Galmar as young legion soldiers both making it out of a bloody battle from which the legion had to eventually retreat (considering the Thalmor were probably kicking the empire’s ass) Only after the chaos has finally settled did they manage to find each other alive and well after.

Don’t think it was possible to ever separate them in battle after this one time. Alongside Rikke of course. Then you have yourself the coolest imperial trio. You’d wish you were them in highschool.

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

if you're not on r/skyrimmemes good but you're missing mod drama bc one of the mods is a stormcloak and ulfric defender but for all the worst and dumbest reasons

[whiterunguard]

why is ulfric in tes castles but tullius isn't. DO NOT SEPARATE THEM THEY ARE BONDED ANIMALS

[hircines-hunter]

[setarmare]

*Battle for Fort Dunstad*

No one:

Cary and Tally:

"YOUR MOTHER CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW"

"YOU HAVEN'T MET MY FATHER"

---------

Also:

Lucia: I saw a Thalmor the other day. He was really scary!

Nyra, side-eyeing Tally and Cary: Is that so...

(Meanwhile, the real culprit is Nebarra)

[m-u-n-c-h-y]

Repost from another account, but I just love the idea of a Fem!Ralof trying so hard to get Ulfric's attentions only for his gay ass to daughter-zone her at every turn

[gummy-axolotl]

I hate the stupid quest cutscenes where you can't do anything. I'm doing the dumb Forsworn Conspiracy quest in Markarth and these people think they're tough shit. I killed Alduin. I killed Lord Harkon. I Killed Miraak. I'm the Champion of several Daedric Princes. I'm the Leader of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, and Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold. I won the civil war single handedly. I'm the goddamn motherfUCKING DRAGON BORN. AND YET I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS IN THE SHRINE OF TALOS. BITCH IF I WASNT LOCKED IN A STORY LINE I COULD EXTERMINATE THIS ENTIRE CITY LIKE SKEEVERS. KILL YOURSELVES. BEFORE I DO IT FIRST.

[smalllonelyegg]

skyrim really does show you a bunch of indigenous people who faced genocide and are like "that's why they're eeeeevil, now go on and kill them" instead of actually sympathizing with them huh.

Well at least there are definitely no real world implications to deal with *I say knowingly*

[storm-of-feathers]

well its been a year. and here is my full and honest advice to anyone who wants to start a sexyman poll:

dont <3

[idalynsskyrimdiaries]

When I was little, I was a naive supporter of the Stormcloaks. In my late teens, my characters were mostly locked in with the Imperial Legion because of my realization of the rebellion's many flaws.

In current times, I am deeply ashamed. How did I go from an innocent Stormcloak defender to a Thalmor lap-dancer in the span of a few years?? And I know I'm not alone in that regard, how the fuck did we get here?? 😭

[fatherentropy]

might have unlocked a way to sort of paint in CSP that doesn’t piss me off maybe?

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Eryn: All the political stuff since the victory has kept you and Galmar apart. You just need to bone.

Ulfric Stormcloak: What did you say?

Ralof: Don't say it again-

Eryn: I said you two just need to bone.

Ralof: *deeply, DEEPLY uncomfortable*

Ulfric Stormcloak: Hhhhhhhhhhow dare you Eryn I am yoUR HIGH KING-

[5 Minutes later]

Ulfric Stormcloak: "BONE"?

[10 Minutes after that]

Ulfric Stormcloak: What happens in my bedroom, Eryn, is NONE of your business-

[20 Minutes after that]

Ulfric Stormcloak: "B O N E"?

[Another 40 minutes after that]

Ulfric Stormcloak: Don't EVER speak to me like that again! *He storms off*

Ralof: Why did you do that.

Eryn: He was pent up, and now he knows. Problem solved!

[The next day]

Ralof: So, I tried to get Yrsarald to take some of Galmar's responsibilities so that-

Ulfric Stormcloak: No need. Everything's fine.

Ralof: ...because you've figured out a better way to delegate?

Ulfric Stormcloak: No.

Eryn: Because you guys-

Ulfric Stormcloak: Yep.

Eryn: Ha! Knew it.

[Ulfric goes off to talk to Galmar and Yrsarald]

Ralof: ...

Eryn: See, what happened, is they had-

Ralof, at his limit: Okay, Eryn!

[whiterunguard]

im genuinely looking into making tullfric standee and shaker charms someone please lobotomise me?

[nightingaletrash]

I am once again thinking about a Dragon Cult faction in Skyrim and the dragons being intelligent conquerors rather than random monsters that pop up from time to time, all thanks to Vox Machina so yeah I’m gonna ramble :p

Alduin uses Helgen as his chance to declare his intentions, that his dominion over Tamriel has begun and Skyrim will be the first to kneel. The survivors of Helgen flee and begin to spread the word of what they saw and what was promised. Skyrim is torn by the story as it spreads; there’s hysteria, there’s denial, there’s a frenzy to prepare, and a steadfast refusal to engage with the story at all. People are either terrified or they’re convinced it’s complete hogwash until they see it with their own eyes.

Ulfric knows the legends well enough to recognise the threat and the Stormcloaks are also familiar with Alduin’s story, so they take the threat significantly more seriously than Tullius and the Legion, who aren’t quite so readily familiar with the tales and need convincing by the likes of Rikke and other Nords in the ranks to treat the situation with the full gravitas it deserves. It’s a serious threat, yes, but they don’t realise just how significant Alduin’s return is and what it means for Tamriel on the whole.

During the lull after Alduin’s arrival, Mirmulnir was planning to take Whiterun for himself and was systematically weakening the city's defences before launching his assault, only to end up encountering the one person who could truly kill him. Word of a Dragonborn spreads rapidly and before long, so do the dragons. They rise from their graves and abandon their long-forgotten hiding places, and they take to the sky, intent on taking back what’s their’s.

Falkreath is the first to bend its knee because Siddgeir isn't so stupid that he thinks he can best a dragon, and surely there'll be some benefit to capitulating, just like there was when he sided with the Imperials. He'll take whatever he can get and becomes the first modern Dragon Priest, all to ensure that he retains his power as well as his life. The Dragonborn isn’t safe in Falkreath, not until it seems that there’s an earnest chance that they can best the ancient dragon that resides there. Siddgeir will always throw his lot in with the winning side after all... Whether his doublecrossing actually serves him depends on how the Dragonborn chooses to handle the situation.

Meanwhile Winterhold and Dawnstar are mostly ignored by the first wave of dragons. There are bigger prizes elsewhere. Only once the best territories have been claimed does anyone take an interest in the north, and still Dawnstar doesn’t tract much attention. Winterhold, however, finds itself in a tricky situation - the dragon that arrives is one with a thirst for knowledge. It’s shrewd, cunning, and apparently indifferent to Alduin’s desire to conquer Skyrim. It barters with the Archmage over the Jarl. It offers the College protection from the local Nords and others that might do them wrong, its own knowledge of history and magic, and secrets known only to a dragon. In exchange, they share their secrets with it and let it learn from their troves of knowledge. It’ll leave the village alone provided the people there don’t cause trouble; it doesn’t care to rule. It just wants to learn and be left in peace. It’s a deal that seems almost too good to be true, and the mages can’t tell if this dragon is just like them or if it’s plotting something terrible.

Riften is initially prepared for a dragon to arrive on account of the Stormcloaks preparing the city ahead of time. Then it storms for days on end, a relentless torrent of rain and lightning. People swear they hear a voice in the thunder as their streets flood and the Nords in town put two and two together. Some advise that they should make offerings to try and persuade the dragon to put a stop to the storm. Gold, jewels, whatever meat they can get - they offer it all if it means the storm will stop. And for a time it does... until Jarl Laila puts her foot down and puts a stop to the offerings. Appeasing a dragon won’t save them, after all. And so the storm resumes as it did before, and people are afraid and angry. But still, anyone caught making offerings is punished, and the storms grow worse with every person jailed, so people leave to seek out the beast to offer themselves in service. They become its eyes and ears in the city and report to it when the Dragonborn arrives. When they do, they’re sent to extend an invitation to Laila just as she’s requesting them to hunt down the dragon and slay it; it requests a parley in neutral territory with Laila. It’s up to the Dragonborn to decide whether Riften remains free or if it falls under the control of the dragon.

Markarth is a tempting target, but the city's architecture makes it a tough nut to crack. They have all the steel they need for weapons manufacturing, and are prepared for a siege thanks to the Civil War. To complicate matters, the Reachfolk are as much a problem for the dragons as they are for the Nords; freedom runs in their veins and they wouldn't give it up for anyone. Not for the Nords, and not for a bunch of big ol' lizards either. Any dragon trying to take territory in the Reach has their work cut out for them, both inside the walls and out.

Morthal ends up under dragon control pretty quickly, much like Falkreath. Igrod knows that her tiny community stands no chance at all, so she makes an offering just before the dragon shows up and assumes her role as Dragon Priest. But she's not simply rolling over like Siddgeir. She's biding her time and protecting her people the only way she can, waiting for the one person that can save them.

Solitude and Windhelm remain free on account of the power they've each marshalled. They're both powerful enough to ward off the threat for now, but it won't last forever. Especially if the dragons seize more and more territories.

Other small settlements fall as easily as Morthal and Falkreath, with the communities swiftly capitulating to the dragons that arrive in the hopes of being spared; Kynesgrove only narrowly avoids that fate. People were preparing to bring offerings to the Dragonmound and instead see their would-be-ruler slain once he’s barely fresh from the grave. The villagers are some of the only people in Skyrim that the Dragonborn and the Blades can trust for safe shelter if they’re passing through the area.

With Whiterun and Kynesgrove standing free, along with any other cities that the Dragonborn has chosen to liberate or has a dragon ruling in their name over Alduin’s, the dragons are more than aware that they have an adversary out there, but those that have established themselves and their territory are unwilling to depart in search of them. Instead they use intermediaries; some want the Dragonborn dead to be presented to Alduin at Skuldafn, others think they could be a useful tool or ally, while others are just interested in securing their borders against any potential threats.

[the-daily-male]

Today's daily male is Ulfric Stormcloak from Skyrim!

[livdpear]

hottest Dragonborn that ever lived.

sexiest Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild.

cuntiest Harbinger of the Companions.

cutest Listener of the Dark Brotherhood.

prettiest Imperial who killed Ulfric and his rebellion.

baddest Dawnguard who killed Lord Harkon.

and a better fucking Dragonborn than Miraak.