#fuck the kaminoans

[suck-a-egg]

Whats up, Fuck

Yea, I have too much time on my hands again. Nothing depressing this time, at least not to me. Just one question...

How do clone generations work?

After doing a little bit of research I found out that the Kaminoans used the term "1st generation" to show that those clones were made from the original Jango Fett DNA.

Because as we know, as the years went on they watered down the DNA for other generations. But that made me think, where does the next generation start?

Fordo, Alpha-17, and 99 are all Alphas

Rex, Cody, and Wolffe are all Generation Ones.

Who is Generation Two? Was it Jesse? Kix?

Omega said that she could tell that Rex was a Gen one because of the lines on his face but Jesse didn't have wrinkles like Rex did but he also wasn't under nearly as much stress as Rex was. But he had to have joined the 501st around the time that Anakin started training Ahsoka in Tales of the Jedi (We see him in the background with no paint). So is he a Gen One or Gen Two?

What about my favorite clones to pick on? What about the Domino Squad?

It is heavily implied that they were deployed earlier than other squads so are they Gen two's that were deployed with the last of the Gen One's or are they Gen Three's that were deployed with Gen Two's? Or were they deployed within their own generation?

What about the Nulls and the Bad Batch?

The Nulls were created around the same time as the Alphas but the Bad Batch looks borderline like shinies. If it wasn't for their list of completed missions that was in their barracks on Kamino, I would think that they had just been deployed.

I could take this in a really depressing way and just say that the Kaminoans probably sent 8 year olds out into war and didn't care because the clones are just canon fodder for a pointless war. Because they wouldn't do that, right? I mean they did send 10 year olds out in to war.

[kotemf]

Thank you so much, I loved reading this!

Poor Fives and Echo and all baby clones, though, my heart aches for them.

banner by @littletroggo

@galactic-gift-gathering : Gift for @kotemf

Hope you like it! 💙

—

Prompt: Clone cadets on Kamino

Genre: Angst

It’s also here on AO3.

—

Ambivalent Sacrifices

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be.

Fives’ feet refused to still as he paced aimlessly along the line of pods. Normally, he would have been concerned about waking his brothers, but he was the only one here in his squad’s sleeping quarters. His frantic footsteps were echoing off the white walls of the empty room and the sound seemed deafening, further obscuring his rational thoughts.

The hissing of the sleeping quarters door opening finally halted his pacing and he stood frozen, anxiously waiting to see who would enter.

“What’s wrong?��� Echo asked, stopping just inside the doorway.

Instead of answering, Fives launched himself at his twin, throwing his arms around him and embracing him tightly.

“Woah, Fives.” Echo hugged him back without question, but his voice was still tight with confusion and now apprehension. His brother was clingy, but this was a lot, even for him. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

Fives mumbled something indiscernible into his brother’s shoulder.

“Huh?”

Now Fives lifted his head and rested his chin on Echo’s shoulder. “One of the instructors said they’re going to separate us!”

Echo’s whole body tensed. No. They couldn’t do that. Except that they could.

After three years with their batch, their squad had dwindled from six to four and they knew it was only a matter of time until they were dispersed into different squads. But Echo and Fives were twins. They relied on each other for everything; more than they probably should. They’d let themselves believe that their bond would somehow keep them together. The Kaminoans and the instructors wouldn’t care about that, though.

“We’ll be okay.” Echo stroked the back of Fives’ head in an attempt at comfort.

“How?” Fives’ voice was quivering now.

“I don’t know,” Echo admitted, forcing back his own tears. “We’ll just… figure something out.”

They both knew that was a lie. They were clones and they were only kids. Once the instructors made their decision, that would be it.

They squeezed into Echo’s pod together that night cycle, both desperately hoping that it wouldn’t be the last time.

Then, over the next few rotations, their squad dropped down to two. One of their batchmates had failed his strategy exam and, even after he was granted two retakes, he still couldn’t achieve the score he was meant to. Then, only two rotations later, their other batchmate slipped up on the firing range. His bolt flew so wide, it took out one of the Kaminoans’ security cameras. And that was it.

A horrified relief washed over Fives and Echo when they heard that, because there were only two of them now, they would be placed together with another squad that had three cadets. They would be able to stay together, as they’d wanted, but it was impossible not to wonder if it had been worth the sacrifices.

[fluffykittensox]

Something I think everyone forgets about the clones from time to time, as said in ‘Attack of the Clones’ by Lama Su “They are totally obedient, taking any order without question. We modified their genetic structure to make them less independent then the original host”

Couple that, with the chips, and the average Clone trooper like Cody (listen I know he’s not average but I’m making a point here), would stand no chance countering orders he knows makes no sense & is wrong.

We see how hard Rex had to physically and mentally fight just to not shoot at Ahsoka for a few seconds.

And that’s another reason why they are called “The Bad Batch” too, troopers who don’t file reports, troopers more in line with the attitude of “the original host” Jango Fett. Pretty sure they weren’t created to be “more docile” like the majority.

(Lama Su literally said that of Boba “pure genetic replication no tampering to make it more docile” implying the clones as a whole are…)

So yeah even I’ve joked about it but in all fairness, the clones who killed all those Jedi really didn’t have a chance to fight back.

[the-stars-are-warring]

Ok fine FINE I understand the appeal of Kal Skirata now I get it. Icon of a man. He hadn't even been on Kamino for ten minutes before he decided he wanted to Flay a Kaminoan alive.

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

I officially hate the Kaminoans.

That is all.

[jewishcissiekj]

wait why does older Omega look so different than Emerie Karr??? they're literally clones so????

[isurrendertoclones]

Ok but what if Kaminoan names aren’t actually names

What if they’re number designations in Kaminoan?

[wantonlywindswept]

CC Batch Aurek: Geonosis

prev bit

more slightly-weird batch shenanigans!

so cody said he wasn’t on geonosis which i have Opinions about, and apparently we are continuing the outsider POV on this so all aboard the alpha-99 headcanon train, choo choo motherfuckers

---

When the Jedi finally showed up to take his brothers to war, 99 didn't go to the comm station, where most of them were loitering. He didn't wait for official news from Geonosis, or even go to the cadet barracks to help soothe the young ones, who were panicking now that their futures loomed all too near.

Instead, he went to find Cody.

Cody wasn't all that hard to find, admittedly: he was laid up in the infirmary and furious about it, and locating him mostly involved searching for the bed with the fewest number of people nearby.

99 could almost feel the rage emanating from the back of the medbay, but he was used to dealing with brothers at their most volatile.

He made his way over, and Cody's head snapped up, a snarl on his lips until he realized who it was.

"99," he rasped. The entire left side of his face was bruised, bacta patches and bandages laid liberally over and around his broken orbital bone, and his eyes were dangerously, unevenly dilated. 

"Kote," 99 greeted, keeping his voice low and gentle. He eased himself into one of the five empty chairs arrayed around the bed. "How are you?"

Cody's hands curled into fists, crumpling the bedsheets beneath them. He hissed out a low, tightly-controlled breath.

"I'm here."

And, truly, 99 knew that was the worst place he could be.

All of the Alpha class knew about Aurek: partially because they had eyes and could see the oddity in the batch and their adopted CT, and partially because Alpha-17 had--entirely unnecessarily--threatened them with bodily harm should they say anything. Those six brothers were connected to each other in ways even they couldn't explain, and usually didn't try to. 

99 knew that he himself would be useless on the warfront, that he could only be a hindrance to his brothers--and it was still tearing him apart inside that he couldn't go to Geonosis with them.

It had to be a thousand times worse for Cody.

"We haven't been this far apart since we decanted," Cody said, something manic in his voice, something bright and feverish in his eyes. "We're not supposed to be this far apart. I can't protect them if I'm not there, and if I lose them-- 99, if this war takes them from me, I don't know what I'll do."

Alpha-17 had mused, once, that the only reason Aurek hadn't been decommissioned for their strangeness was because the Kaminoans were more afraid of what would happen if they tried. 

99 had thought he was joking, at the time.

"Do you feel them now?" he asked, laying his hand over Cody's white knuckles. "Are they safe?"

Cody blinked at him.

Perhaps he had expected a bit too much out of someone with a grade three concussion, Aurek batch or no.

"You've always been able to tell where your batchers are," 99 reminded him gently. "You all could find each other, deaf and blind, from clear across Tipoca City."

He reached up, touching Cody's cheek just below the bandages.

"The only way we found that battle circle was because they knew you were hurt and could lead us there. Have you tried reaching out for them at all?"

Cody frowned, his nose scrunched up just like it did when he was a cadet. He rubbed his chest in small little circles, just over his heart.

"They're so far away," he said quietly. "But..."

There was a kind of hum, a tingle of something in the air, and 99 watched as Cody closed his eyes and exhaled a slow breath.

"Rex feels...tired," he said eventually. "They all feel tired. Gree might actually be asleep. Bly is--excited? I think he just met a Jedi for the first time. Fox feels stressed, and Wolffe is--"

Cody let out an exasperated sigh, opening his eyes.

"Wolffe," he said flatly, "Is having a great time."

99 chuckled. The entirety of Aurek--which had grown to include Rex, these past four years--were all a little bit feral, but Wolffe always had been more unhinged than the rest.

"But they're well?" he confirmed. 

Cody nodded. Some of the buzzing intensity around him faded, the tight set of his shoulders easing now that he was no longer hyperfocused on worrying about his absent batchmates. 

It settled 99's worst fears, as well: if the rest of Aurek was okay, that meant at the very least some of his brothers had survived. And it was extremely likely that significantly more had, too: all five were Command-trained--Rex was a CC in all but designation--and they would have been assigned battalions of their own to lead. 

They would have fought tooth and nail to keep their troops alive.

"They'll be okay," Cody murmured, eyelids drooping. "They'll come back to me."

"They will," 99 agreed softly. He wondered if Cody's injuries were finally asserting themselves over his tired body--or if whatever strange connection he had to his batchmates was harder to bridge, with such distance between them. 

He stayed until Cody fell asleep, able to take care of at least one more brother before the rest were sent off to war.

[engagemythrusters]

since the kaminoans probably didn't care too much about teaching the clones things non-essential to war, I have a feeling they didn't put much emphasis on sex-ed... if at all.

thus, I choose to believe not a single clone knows what sex is.

[apricusapollo]

GUYS I FOUND IT!!!!

(link)

[tallochar]

WIP ask game

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @zahri-melitor

I have a tooth that needs a root canal pretty much immediately (I can feel the pain all the way up my cheek to my cheekbone, as a line of constant aching to active hurting) but it won't happen until my appointment on Monday so it's taken me longer than I'd have liked to answer this, but here I am, late to the party but still at the party after all.

I have a mix of WIPS for various fandoms, most of them about OCs but the first few in my folder are:

Alpha Shenanigans (Star Wars, OC-centric)

Collateral Damage (DC)

Fucking Kaminoans (Star Wars, Jango Fett and OCs)

Gothamites (DC)

It Takes A Village (DC)

It's raining vigilantes, hallelujah (DC)

Jahailir Is Unhinged And We Love That For Him (Star Wars, OC-centric)

Jason should have studied up (DC)

RHPS Tim dare (DC)

Goddamn you two gay (Resident Evil setting, OC x OC)

Southern Bitch (Resident Evil setting, OC-centric)

Stalking men for assimilation and duty (DC)

Don't know who to tag, so if you haven't been tagged already, consider yourself tagged and free to participate :3

[lazinesswrites]

I never said it would be easy for WIP Wednesday please!

Of course! Here you go ❤ Crosshair is sullen, and Hunter is not impressed. He's trying to help, though.

“Do you think Wrecker is weak because he can’t hear very well in his left ear, or needs the cybernetic eye? Or that Echo is weak because cold messes with his prosthetics? Do you think yourself weak because the Kaminoans messed up your shoulder?” “It wasn’t the Kaminoans who messed it up,” Crosshair argues, mostly to give himself more time. Hunter is not impressed.

Find the rules and titles for this week's WIP Wednesday ask game here.

[silentwalrus1]

tags from @starwarsanthropology

someone had to teach the clones sex ed and our options are aliens, space monks, and some bounty hunters who were game to cut ties with friends and family for 10 years with no explanation (excellent at healthy relationships)

[astheforcewillsit]

thinking of the Jedi's self sufficiency , and specifically about how they sew their own clothes. And I have ideas floating in my head of Anakin using Padme's dress patterns to sew something for Sister, or during the war Obi-Wan making clothes for Cody when he's on shore leave.

Quinlan sewing fox toys for Fox.

Ahsoka's dresses making more sense as she gets older because she made them herself. And as ridiculous as it was, a tube top & skirt was the easiest combo a 14 year old could make.

(In a happier world, thinking about the Jedi teaching their clones how to sew after the war, because while the clones can sew it wasn't for aesthetic purposes. Just for survival. The Kaminoans never really taught them how.

And when the clones are eventually do make their own money, and are granted their rights, refusing gifts from the Jedi when they can and actually buying their work. Because it's good fucking work.)

Imagining hours where the Jedi will sit in silence and just sew and embroidery their work. Sew together, alone.

Sew blankets, sew clothes, sew dolls, sew every and anything. Embroidery when they're done.

Teach sewing as stress relief. Teach their troopers sewing as stress relief. Do it themselves.

And years after the Fall of the Jedi, their embroidery and clothing being put in museums, respected. years of handmade and handsewn art and clothing displayed for all to see.

"Jedi Cloak by Jedi Master Shaak-Ti" "Obi-Wan Kenobi's thimble" "Stuffed Animal for a youngling by Yoda" "Mace Windu's portable sewing kit" "Gift to a trooper by Plo Koon"

etc, things that make me sad

[silentwalrus1]

I like to think about what if the Kaminoans just, fucked all the way up and made the clones telepaths on purpose.

Kamino is in the Rishi maze, the equivalent of total buttfuck nowhere. This is like a cattle processing plant in rural Montana manufacturing an order for Shenzhen as outlined by a third party intermediary from Monaco who keeps contact with neither production nor “client” and nobody’s first language is Basic. Jedi are like, totally psychic right? Right. Psychic army for psychic clients, sounds right, checks out. There are whole ass telepathic alien species out there, some of which are also Jedi. Why would they want NON-psychic clones. Get it done, Tally Ho or Nala Says or whatever her name is. Chop chop.

Cue like seven years into production and the Kaminoan project leads are starting to get some… inklings…. that maybe some of the deliverable specs were perhaps not so much well-researched as based off cross-galactic hearsay some underpaid analysts pulled off space reddit. This is a business, okay? You’re not gonna make profit manufacturing two million units of fucking anything if you treat it like a luxury product, but especially not if the product has goddamn childhood development & socialization needs. Of fucking course some shit maybe slipped through the cracks. What are we supposed to fucking do now, Lama goddamn Sue sir, tell the Jedi or the pickled fucking Sith that oopsie woopsie, we got the specs wrong half a decade in and have to start over again?

No. No we are not. We are going to lie our fucking semi-aquatic asses off, is what we’re gonna do, and so will you clones if you know what’s good for you. NONE of you are fucking psychic, and you never were. Got that? Understood?

Fast forward to Jedi pickup D-Day and every time anyone with a lightsaber gets within aural biosystem of choice distance the clones immediately start loudly and dutifully Having Conversations.

Hello Commander Sir, It Is I, Trooper McSoldierClone, What A Weather It Is Today, Ha Ha? Over. Yes Indeed McTrooper One Two Three Four, I Am Agree, Now Here Is An Order To Follow Which I Am Vociferously Giving You, Acknowledge Orally, Over. Every clone making rock-hard sweating eye contact like don’t fuck it up as they mentally chant encouragement and script notes and jeering performance feedback at each other. Cadets trooping to fucking speech practice to learn speaking out loud with all the enthusiasm and skill of the average white suburban Floridian teenager taking their fifth mandatory Spanish 1 class. The jedi are like damn these poor asylum grown freaks are so unsocialized and uncomfortable around us, Their Owners, this is so tragic and horrid and unfortunate and meanwhile every clone standing silently in formation is mentally spectating the 400-person telepathic tetris team sport they invented with the same vibes as a football world cup back alley street party complete with official & unofficial betting pools and expert panel commentary

[tattycoram]

Obi-wan, staring at Cody: I could fix him The Kaminoans: Please don't it took a lot of work to fuck him up this bad