#fuck me my tags are gone again
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Would
(go to one of his theatrical broadway-wannabe concerts or perhaps a late night gameshow comedy hour sketch performance. Iām not too picky Iād be willing to pay money just to see him perform anything period)
Yea I felt like doing something silly in order to break away from the dread of finals week coming up. What can I say? Iām a professional procrastinator. But man oh man it was a good call this time aroundāI mean just look as this scrumptious masterpiece right here. Time well spent for sure. Genuinely I believe to have cooked with it chat /j
This is a version without the added stars by the way. And the second one is obviously just raw image reference/the original ābereal concert memeā source. I was very tempted to put Puzzles in that same exact outfitāhowever I decided it would be overly time consuming to make two separate versions. Maybe once finals are over Iāll be able to do that :)
#Obviously the abrupt āwouldā was only referring to watching him not alluding to anything else donāt read into subtext or innuendos teehee#Iāve officially gone bananas over this pathetic twink#what does this say about me? honestly Iām still trying to figure that one out chief#are the rumors about me listening to Billie Eilishās āLunchā continuously while drawing this true? I wonāt tell :)#sorry once again I find myself in the delicate situation of wondering if I want to be that man or if I want to be with him#or if I simply wanna admire him from afar and cheer him on like the rabid fan/stan I have become#all the questions running rampant in the mind of an aroace who somehow wound up with this fruity man as a comfort character#ladies and gentlemen welcome to the mind fuck (cue the song āMind Brandā) /j#ā¦.sorry I think Iām getting progressively less coherent with these tags every time I post lmfao help#itās just so fun writing whatever nonsense comes into my mind first#smg4 bereal concert meme#mr puzzles bereal concert meme#bereal concert meme but Mr. Puzzles smg4#bereal concert meme mr puzzles#yea okay think we are in the clear with all the oddly specific tagsānow time to see if my art finally makes it to Google images lol#hplonesome art
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. āItās not Wilburās faultā āHeās not a bad dadā āHe loves his daughter so muchā yes! These are all true! And itās not his fault! But heās still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasnāt seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasnāt, and all she has are letters and āIām thinking of you alwaysā and things that used to be theirs together, but heās still not there. Sheās waited and sheās been patient and sheās loved him all the same, and heās still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, heās still not there.
She knows that itās not his fault, but it doesnāt change the fact that heās absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why heās gone, and sheās been told time and time again it doesnāt mean he doesnāt care, she knows this - it doesnāt mean it doesnāt sting, that it doesnāt hurt, that she doesnāt yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and heās just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because sheās a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
#itās like no wilbur isnāt at fault. especially if weāre talking about cc wilbur. but fuck man of course sheās gonna feel like this#this doesnāt make wilbur a bad person! heās just a missing one. and Tallulah feels all the misery and bitterness as a daughter left behind#where is her father kissing her injuries and reassuring her? where is her father protecting her? hugging her at the end of the day?#Wil isnāt around to do this and she wants him back and heās not going to be back. not for a while. and itās not his fault but it doesnāt#stop it from being upsetting. sheās a little girl#and at least she has phil. her dad. whoās there time and time again. and it doesnāt make him somehow morally better or wtevr. heās there an#Wil is not. and heās going to continue to be there as a solid figure in tallulahs life that she needs#idk man like. fuck#lmao relating my own experiences from here below in the tags āļø#as someone whoās been in that position? a parent absent for reasons outside of control? yeah itās sucks. and I love them and they love me#*with a parent I mean I wasnāt the parent lmao#and it will never be the same. and when they were gone and missing things I was furious at them#that resentment grows and then it fades and sometimes bitterness strikes again and itās how it goes. love is still there#and itās no oneās fault. it just is. and what is is messy#anyways#mcyt#qsmp#q!tallulah#q!wilbur#z speaks
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I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.
[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]
So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.
Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".
Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.
Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.
And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.
When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.
Then Jimmy finds the gun.
And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.
Soon enough it's just the two of them left.
Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.
But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.
He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.
He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.
Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.
When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.
It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.
As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.
He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.
..ok see y'all when I wake up-
#I wish I was better at talking about the themes of the game and characterizing the crew. There's so much I wanna say-#I want to play the game again just to see if I missed anything in here but it's almost 6 am and my brain is shutting down#I would blame stress and insomnia on this but I legit think about this when I come across the tag again#I want to talk about his guilt of wishing he never helped jimmy get the job. how he wished he died first. how his crew didn't deserve it-#and *if* he makes it out. the surviors guilt. the trauma and the pain it would still chase him for the rest of his life#damn. in any sueing case the company could use him being traumatized and vulnerable to make him agree that it was all his fault-#I swear the rest of the time I imagine a what if AU where Jimmy gets yeeted into space by Swansea and they all live happily ever after#this is basically a fic at this point and I'm so sorry but I wrote too much to delete it all now in a state of post revision clarity lmao#me being a dumbass#mouthwashing#tw death#Ideally Anya would be the one throwing him into space. And Swansea would help her bc honestly fuck Jimmy#Curly would be held at arms length until they've gone back home. only left there to pilot them back safely#long ass post#long ass tags
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lol didnāt think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge thatās gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. iām get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. iām not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and iām afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think thatās not a big deal and honestly i didnāt think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash iām out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isnāt the first time sheās done this she has a warrant for her arrest sheās known to steal cars iām the problem and thereās#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the heroās for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i canāt be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit iām stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later itās#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what youāre left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesnāt have a membership so they donāt know how she#got in and they canāt help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#thatās convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in thatās#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i canāt speak on what did or didnāt happen thatās some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadnāt stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing thereās no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but noš© this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokĆ©mon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i didļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Filesā¦ā¦ā¦ PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking meā¦ why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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theyāre so cuteā¦ā¦ā¦
#in context this scene is insane considering their girlfriend is still gone.#having been kidnapped by an elven god.#but i canāt expect bioware to know how huge my brain is#at face value though him falling asleep in her lap is going to make me fucking kill myself. itās too sweet.#AND. āi havenāt taught him wicked grace yetā KILLED ME#oh i love him. i love them. i wish neve was here.#lucanis getting on his knees after the whole āa dellamorte doesnāt kneelā debacle in his personal quest too??#first talon kneeling for one of house de rivaās rank and file assassinsā¦.#the Demon of Vyrantium and the Thorn In Viagoās Side. a perfect pair LMAO#i DO need to play the scene again with magpie on the masc frame to take beautiful top chop images. soon#anyway i feel fucking sick in the head#ę¼«čØ#z plays da#datv spoilers#oc. magpie#r. birds of a feather#<- they have a tag :) now the whole triad needs one. but at least they have one!
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first female loz director and the gerudo seem to be written fine enough? wow... there ain't no way I thought we were in the worst timeline after totk
Yeah got through the main quest with the gerudo, it wasn't painful! It wasn't even bad! Still got them outfits but for the most part it was like oh cool!
I would say a lot of that oh cool is from the fact they didn't do a lot to even fuck it up to begin with, I'm gonna be real with yall this game is NOT worth $60USD
Edit: lemme say one thing, you know when people were being like damn totk story wasn't dark or mature at all why was this compared to Majora's mask again? And then all the zeldatwt people came out and said zelda is just a kid series domt expect good writing uH
This one feels like a kid's game. That ain't to say it's terrible I would say, hell I'm not far in it if I get something crazy that's like OH FUCK I'll reblog this post and say something but uh.....game for babies I'm gonna be shocked if anyone struggles with any puzzles cuz you CAN CHEESE THEM EASY ITS š«¢š¤
EDIT EDIT: I SWEAR IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A DOWNER..... @ezlo-x HAS BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN PLAYING....THEY KNOW I HAVENT BEEN A PARTY POOPER.....
#its......seems quick#the sidequests are very boring tbh#like this game should of been 45-50 max not 60#its cute i like it so far but oh my god the optimization and game design could of been way better#and after botw/totk like....how do i put this#its like nintendo heard hey we need a LITTLE bit of rail roading and then#š¬#basically...example#for a main quest i have to go to 2 places to get people#i went to the 2nd place first and it......didnt update the side quest even though she should of gone to the meeting place#thTs apart of the quest but no i had to go to the 1st guy no matter what#and its like.....hey botw not totk would do that#most GAMES in general now wouldnt do something like that#also yall gonna hate the fact there is no organization or favorites tool for the echoes#game is fun so far but uH#i got through the first dungeon FAST FAST like this is not a return to form#minish cap dungeons i dont think were that fast and theyre simple#also anyone that says this dorsnt have mechanics from the wilds games yes it does#tri has an ability thats JUST ultra hand#oh and its not good in this game#yall gonna fucking hate it#unless somehow a pirated version doesnt allow you to rotate the fucking item or move it in a way that goes behind me#without me locking off and then back on again after repostioning myself#im worried its a feature and not an anti piracy measure#me and GC are gonna finish this up this week but dang i havent even done the whole first part of the main quest#if i had this on the switch i could see how fast i could play through the game WHILE talking to people and having fun and exploring#also oh my god the zora side quest very cute but when eveeyone knows how the game goes ill make one complaint in the tags one day#funny thing its not story....ITS GAMEPLAY#yhe story in the game is fine and i say that cuz its....very simple#HELL A LOT OF NPCS DONT GOT NAMES THAT ARE VISIBLE
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Saw a comment somewhere and if I wasnt so tired my blood would be boiling but we are at a low simmer, so here I am to Bitch
I'm sorry but if your argument for (likely canon) bisexual Kim having a preference for men is her FORMER relationship with Scott I am going to beat you to death with my bat
At LEAST say it's the hopeless pining she does for him currently. Or maybe mention that she's dated 3 guys that we know of! (Which I will counter w her being gay as hell for/with 3 women, which levels out- though that's besides the point-) But if you're going to hinge it entirely on a relationship she had that started and ended in highschool I'm going to break your legs and make you sit through a deep dive of the series with me. All media. Just to reeeeeally draw it out. Painfully.
#idk why that comment made me so mad i literally do not care how nuanced people read Kim's sexuality tbh#but like. surely you can find something else to back that up with. surely. bc im gonna be real with you- even using her hopeless pining is +#+less a point towards Men Generally and more a point towards Scott Fucking Pilgrim- a man with inexplicable rizz apparently#(it's the autism /hj)#he's actually rizzless btw. also this is how you know im tired i dont think ive ever fucking uttered that word before#where was i going? idk i am gone. pine rant over maybe. unless one of you comes and sets me off again cgcjdhdf#(oh gods please dont do that i need to conserve my energy i only have so many coffee candies left and my mom isnt even here yet)#((you can do that if you want i just wont be able to answer til later and it will Gnaw))#ooc#txt#scott pilgrim#kim pine#sp comic#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim vs the world#sckim#bc it's relevant idk. i feel like that tag is bone dry
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Bitches will be like "damn am I overexaggerating how bad the current landscape is?" And then the top posts in a character tag that's not even involved will be "this post contains filtered tags [ship]"
#cath.txt#on my hands and knees praying either I run out of people to block or everyone shuts up. I don't lose because I'm Cursed.#sits on my porch with my gun whateverrrrr. I can kill everyone.#like you hauve to understand getting into gf again has been so good to me but it's also been āwow this is one of the most sickeningly#familiar depictions of what I've gone through over the past few years that makes me feel uncomfortably seen but also provides me great#solace and hope for my own future and greatfulness for what I have nowā and then I check tumblr and everybody is unironically shipping the#guy who got exploited and psychologically AND physiologically tormented as well as violated with his abuser because it's āfunnyā and#āthey're both terribleā as though one of these people isn't a man who's made a lot of mistakes that made sense in the moment and the other#is a fucking interdimensional nightmare demon that now canonically has ran cults. like ok. thanks guys. and the realest kicker to me is the#fact that people show that three sided fuckhead more sympathy? some fucking how? like ok I see how it is. it's one and I'm tired and I'll#probablyyyy delete this in the morning even though it's buried in my own tags but word to the wise don't have things wrong with you that#make you effectively kin ford at 13 and then reconsume gf seven years later and look at how your life's progressed. like fuck dude one#second you're chilling and the next you get so mad about hearing shit about a book that you realize you're a fucking Stanford Pines irl and#have been for nearly half your life. what kinda sick joke is it that that fucking book was announced on my birthday anyway. come on man.
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if yall could keep me in your thoughts, i just got some more bad news about college transfers so. thatās really heavy on me at the moment š
#cyberdiary [.txt]#vent in the tags >>#i literally feel like a failure. like if i had just worked harder in hs i couldāve gone to a dif school#but then again the past is the past and i canāt change that#and i was bullied and isolated for my whole first year at college#which put my mental in the dumps and made me lose my scholarship#bullied by. someone else in my cohort of underprivileged students. someone i went to hs with.#and she told people i was a racist homophobic horrible person and everyone believed her#instead of taking two fucking seconds to set down and talk to me and maybe realize that shit wasnāt true#anyways. iām just so tired
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Ugh..narrator...
#slay princess spoilers in these tags alex don readdd#i should be sleeping rn but while i was work i couldnt stop thinking abt#how much i feel like the narrator relates to me in how ocd affects me#hes not just afraid of change hes afraid of possibility. but thats not what he thinks hes afraid of he justifies his fear as#wanting to protect the world from seein death ever again#but in truth he wants to kill the embodiment of change itself#my mind is hazy but like i can get it because so many times i just hope that#things just stop#because i think abt so many possibilities so bad that it hurts me a lot#only thinking about the bad possibitilies and the good possibilities never go through my mind#i think so much abt everything that could happen if i do anything that i try my best at avoiding it#and if i fall into not doing it feels empty and stagnant#its safe but it feels really bad and i feel bad abt my fear#and thats what the narrator wants for the full scope of the world cos he thinks that will be better for everyone#dont get me wrong hes very wrong lol but hes so human at the same time#it only gets more clear by his nightmare where he describes that every good moment in life is a short omen for something horrible to happen#next#thats so ocd to me man āoh fuck this is too good something bad will happenā#bitch should have gone to therapy instead of trapping the gods of reality itself trapped in a torture bubble lol#or he should have played satbk#sonic is always right#also i get a lot of ocd vibes from the cage but its slightly different#she thinks she already knows whats going to happen and doesnt try to test another possibility#the only way to save her is to prove to her that what she thinks will happen isnt set in stone. she cant know what will happen#even if her past trauma feels like enough proof that things will be the same- she cant know...#also how she thinks her body is acting on its own and that it has nothing to do with her but it does she just cant see it#cage....#also i love how she comes from prisoner. because prisoner is actually very reasonable in her distrust of you but she believes that her plan#will work#but it doesnt and it turns into the trsuma that turns her in cage cos every worry feels like its the truth
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Completely fuckin forgot to post abt it the day of but
GUESS WHO āØļøFINALLYāØļø GOT THEIR DRIVER'S LICENSE LAST WEEK!!!!!!
#dizzyisms#ONLY TOOK ME FIVE TRIES OVER WHAT. A YEAR AND A HALF#Ironically I was not the one to drive home afterwards bc I was too much of an anxious wreck fhdhdhhdhs#When I tell you I fucking burst into tears when the instructor told me I passed hdhdhdbxbx#mostly bc I was already wound up tighter than a damn spring and fully primed to start crying abt Screwing Up Again#it was a physical shock#but a good one!#at the time of FINALLY posting this. checks calender. a week later#I've gone to the insurance place to get my Actual license validated! now I wait for the Card to get mailed in#(Also Jesus POLEDANCING christ post editor in mobile browser is sending me into a fuxking rabid chimpanzee rage. It is SO BAD)#< leaving that tag in as I post this from desktop so y'all know of my struggles jfksdjfkds
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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Love Loses šš (aka second-worst festival you could possibly drag Moe into)
+ some rough sketches of the outfit!!!
I'm not too committed to fleshing it out, but I imagine it would most likely have a green color scheme, forget-me-nots and possibly pansies incorporated into its design (would probably have to figure out how all that would work together LMFAO but again. Not super committed to the thought!)
#fire emblem#feh#the pansies are a cool idea actually beyond the queer connection i have this bigass flower meaning book#and there's potential there!#i was just doodling though. plus i have other dod wips i consider to be more 'canon' in my heart#IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST. THE GOOFIEST THING EVER SOMETIMES.#like yeah i made this guy specifically to hang out w my blorbos. yeah it's going to fuck off completely now.#it's already fucking gone. good fucking luck finding it again.#moe is just. you're better off without me. the idea of leaving sharena behind fucks me up so bad i'm gonna throw up.#this doesn't say anything about me at all. i'm easily replaceable. and i'm okay with that.#yes i'm wearing the forget-me-nots. no that doesn't mean anything. and neither do the pansies.#don't worry about it šš#also i think the dysphoria acting up is actually less about the outfit (esp since alfonse is wearing something similar)#and more about the social 'role' it feels its being forced into. even if its the only one feeling this way#dysphoria will do crazy shit to you and fucl your entire life LMFAOO#i do think its suffering w those thighs out though. poor thang š#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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