#fuck alien keyes

[benis-chillin]

Backlog Reviews 2024: Halo Combat Evolved(MCC)

Platform: PC

October 15th, 2024-November 4th, 2024

(Previous review)

YAAAAAAAYYYYY, two games in a row that I ACTUALLY finished!

…Near the end of the year…Huh.

Anyway, this game wasn't really a longstanding commitment for me. Basically, I'd eyed the Master Chief Collection on Steam for a few years, where it normally goes on sale for $15, but I actually caught this at a $10 price point last year. I had initially gifted it to a friend who shares his library with me since I like to contribute to that a bit instead of just mooching…But then he gifted it to me during that same sale so we could do multiplayer sometime.

Funny how life works out.

Anyway, the Master Chief Collection is both a good and terrible frontend for these games. Terrible for being kinda cluttered and awkward to get your settings just right(getting subtitles up in this bitch is a chore), and good for everything else. For one thing, being able to install and uninstall the various games from within it to save on computer space is really convenient, as is the fact that the games seem to run natively within the same exe, rather than the frontend just booting you to ANOTHER exe like some collections do. It makes loading into a game way less tedious.

Anyway, onto Combat Evolved. The story, which follows the gameplay closely enough that I'll lightly recap them side-by-side, is that you're thrown into the middle of this space war of humans vs these aliens called the Covenant, and as a ship called the Pillar of Autumn gets surrounded by Covenant, they awaken this armored dude called Master Chief.

Why all of our human allies are just normal Starship Troopers-lookin' asses while I and even the lowest Covenant troopers wear armor is never explained in this game.

Worth noting here is that the Master Chief Collection has both remastered and original graphics modes, available at the touch of a button. I primarily used the original graphics, save for some spots I'll explain later, but I like this approach to game remasters. Sonic should try this out.

I also used a controller for pretty much the entire game. I know keyboard and mouse is a must for most, but I don't like it for tight combat scenarios. And I lack a controller that is gyro-capable currently, so no testing how THAT would feel, but the twin sticks this game was designed for worked well enough…Save for swap weapon and reload being on the same button, THAT came up a few times.

Anyway, Covenant raids the Pillar, so we gotta load out to a strange ring in space, which is a neat, but underutilized idea, sadly.

This gets us into the first few missions of the game, where we must rescue our comrades, kick some Covenant ass, and stop them from taking over the ring, known, of course, as Halo.

AND THIS PART OF THE GAME IS REALLY FUN!

The Covenant are a decently formidable force, but their numbers are perfectly tuned to the limits of your ammo, shields, and the combat system. You can even mow through a good chunk by bopping them with the butt of your gun, if you're waiting for a good place to play the reload animation that takes 5 years to complete. And in various spots, you have back-up in the form of your fellow troops, power-ups for stealth and additional shields, and the Warthog, jeeps that control so terribly that it loops back around to being fun.

The only problems up until now are that the levels can be kinda wide and confusing, with guides on where to go popping up very inconsistently(and sometimes, not until Cortana finally SHUT THE FUCK UP, which became VERY annoying toward the end), but hey, I was having fun!

Then we reach the second half of the game.

You see, once you finally seize Halo's control room, Cortana realizes that something else is up, and tells you to go after Keyes, a general guy from earlier. We then enter a level where something bad has happened here, and we see what Keyes and his crew did via video file filmed in "hard to see" vision.

And well, that's when we meet the Flood. For all intents and purposes, they're zombies…Really annoying zombies. Outer space zombies from ancient times that are hard to kill outside of the shotgun and pistol weapons(the Brigadier would be SO happy with this game), that the game spams at you to the point that I start strategically avoiding enemies to save myself a headache.

IN A GAME ABOUT SHOOTING THINGS!

You see, this is where Halo kinda disappointed me, cause not only are we abandoning making actually well-designed levels in exchange for cheap enemy spams where your only option is to cheese your way past them with as little conflict as possible(on EASY MODE, no less), but the story also gets boring as well.

You see, when Cortana told me to stop Keyes, I thought Keyes had betrayed us. Perhaps he knew something about Halo that we didn't know about yet, a suspicion furthered by me seeing the Flood, who looked like some mix of humans and Covenant.

I thought the shoe to drop was that the Covenant were the mutated corpses of humans created by those who made the Halo to keep a war going. Think about it, the Covenant regularly speak some distorted form of English, and seem to only be at war with humans. What if this war, the Master Chief's sole purpose in life from what the game shows, was a manipulation on the part of some third party? What if Keyes was in the employ of this third party?

And what if the Flood was the next step to finally clear the board for the final phase of their plan?

Then you hit the Library, and you discover that no, they're just zombies. Everything is almost exactly as it seems.

Oh yeah, and the Library is the worst level in the game. You follow this dumbass, floating Orbot motherfucker through the same hallway, fight the horde rush coming from the same locations, and then follow him to the same hallway.

And this doesn't happen like, 5 times, or even 10. It's gotta be like, 20-30, cause it took me three decently sized sessions to get through this level. Plus, I had to use the brighter remastered graphics since the hallways were too dark otherwise. Just a disaster.

Also, this mission is the last time you will have back-up. From now-on, you're a one-man army, with no power-ups, all alone, and only one Warthog that ruins them for you permanently at the end.

And even worse, the Flood stretches your resources beyond their limits. It's not practical to carry a shotgun or pistol as your primary weapon, as their ammo is far more limited, and their reload takes 10 years instead of 5. The drones that fly above you later are also best downed with energy weapons, but those have a much less effective takedown rate for the Flood. For how much you get horde-rushed by enemies in this game, an assault rifle is your most reliable weapon, which means you gotta get yourself into some tough spots with only TWO guns available to you.

The grenades help, but they're kinda inconsistent to pick up.

Oh yeah, and once you reach your destination(which you abandoned your teammates to be in, btw), it's revealed that SHOCK! Dumbass was trying to trick you into destroying the universe with Halo!

My honest reaction to this information:

I'm sorry, I just…Lost all of my investment at this point. The story offered this opportunity to dig deeper, test the limits of Master Chief and YOUR humanity with the Flood, even if it DIDN'T go with my dumb fanfiction from earlier. It just went from, "beat these bad guys," to "beat these OTHER bad guys, and oh yeah, the other bad guys are still here, too."

Heck, why couldn't Master Chief have offered a truce with the Covenant to deal with the Flood? Like, they're getting overwhelmed by the Flood, too! Imagine, you get overwhelmed by the Flood in a cutscene, and then some Covenant decided to help you out? "Enemy of my enemy" type of shit. I've been mowing down these faceless goons for hours! Why not CHALLENGE my perceptions, and Chief's in the story? Have us find humanity within the inhuman! Contrast that with the Flood's nature!

DO! SOMETHING! WITH! THE STORY!

So anyway, you set Halo to boom-boom, do a Metroid escape sequence on a Warthog(seriously), then you fly away with Cortana going, "Damn, that sucked," and John Halo bein' like, "Fr fr," and the game is over.

So overall, I don't think Halo is a BAD game. Heck, I think the first half is great!

But the second half exposes every weakness at its core, with spammy enemies meant to compensate for blatantly average and sometimes confusing level design, and a story that. in the end, doesn't matter, even within itself. It all just…Happens, you know?

And I'm sure the teens and pre-teens of yesteryear who grew up with this game will defend it. I'm not here to take away any good times you might've had with Halo. At the time it came out, this probably felt revolutionary! I'm aware enough of how big a step Halo was for its genre…

…But sometimes, games age, and in this case, it aged…A bit poorly, imo.

I will play the sequels in the Master Chief collection. I have it, so may as well, right? Maybe they'll win me over from a rough start. I've had rougher. But for now, I'm gonna put Halo down.

5/10

Next time…I'm undecided. My PS3 has been somewhat neglected this year, so my next game will either be Spider-man 2: Enter Electro on PS1, or Toy Story 3 on PS2(since it's already injected).

I'll see ya when I decide.

[johnthel]

The Flood Thing AU

Im writing this at 2am. SPOILERS, OBV. OKAY SO roles: Im very indecisive so i would love feedback on casting.

Mccready is Chief, but Cortana is also there but may not take the role of an existing character, since she's probably still just an AI.

Childs is Arbiter. Gary is Johnson? Or possibly Captain Keyes? I like the idea of him as Johnson better, BUT... with the end of the movie, and the big disgusting one at the end with him and nauls, i think it could work as keyes. I cant decide

I want to include Rtas for sure, and also Miranda Keyes. but after that I don't really know who else to include since I've stuck to the first 3 games and dont know any more side characters. So feel free to suggest and help me out please!

I'm thinking Rtas as Nauls just cus i like him so much, but Im really not sure it fits. I need the rest of the cast: Blair, Bennings, Norris, Palmer, Copper, Fuchs, Clark, and Windows.

My thoughts during this watch:

Chief trying to play chess with Cortana at the beginning lol

(X and Arbiter) "Chief wants the flame thrower!" "He wants the what?" "Thats what he said!" Very quietly under his breath: "Dammit"

X=unspecified character (doesnt have a role yet)

Mccready wears green i notice... very interesting...

So i mean, aliens obviously exist and have contact with earth in this au already and thats common knowledge. So i think their disbelief comes from the flood thing's powers, and maybe Where in space it originated from, and how it is obviously very sinister.

I havent thought of human and the covenant/cov rebels history yet or why this group is stationed somewhere so cold and im honestly too tired to. So whatever

Do they still dig it up out of the ice, and the humans are in disbelief that aliens made contact with them That long ago? Or did the flood thing land recently? Does some of the distrust of the humans come from thinking the aliens on their team could have something to do with this?

I think a good bit of mccready's dialogue would go to cortana instead of chief

Wait does that say Sexdozer 301

Fuuuck... ive always thought Childs is so fine...

(Chief) "Trust is a hard thing to come by these days."

I love this cus it focuses on Chief and Arbiter's tension for real... they dont trust each other and its so tense. Its great

(X and Arbiter) "What if we're wrong about him?" "Well then we're wrong."

(Chief) "Anyone messes with me and the whole place goes... Go on, burn me... Put the torch on the floor and back off. Way off."

(Arbiter and Chief) "You shall not bind me." "Then I'll have to kill you." "Then kill me."

...... i mean it, i guess you do (i'd exclude these lines tbh, i like it ending with THEN KILL ME... its just more hardcore for them to say nothing and then chief turns around and shoots a dude trying to stab him)

I think arbiter totally would cuss but he does it very under his breath and never wants anyone to hear. Lol. He learned his swear words from the humans but hes hesitant to say them in front of them

(Johnson as Gary) "I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH."

When they go under the tool shed where Blair was, its covered in that disgusting flood stuff, instead of the spaceship. Yick

Also i just think its interesting Blair, as human, was the one most determined to destroy transport and keep everyone there, but then as the thing he's the one building a ship to escape.

Not sure who Nauls would be.. cus whos left at this point would be Thel, Johnson, Chief, and Cortana technically, and nauls. Maybe.. nauls could be cortana? But i was thinking she would still be an AI, cus that just feels better cus its less of a change. So nauls could be someone else. My heart says Rtas just cus i love him so much. But i dont think so. Imagining Rtas on little roller skates jamming out is sending me though

God.. imagining when the flood thing takes over both human and sangheili and cant finish morphing, would be so cool

(Johnson as Gary and Chief, but it also sounds like a convo with Cortana tbh) "Generator's gone." "Any way we can fix it?" "It's gone, Chief."

THE ENDING IS SOOOOO GOOOOD. Childs missing for the whole final act until this point. And meets up with mccready. And the tension. Their impending fate. The mistrust... ive read that childs is definitely infected by the end, but its truly never confirmed WHICH I FUCKING LOVE. Because we, as the audience, are in mccreadys place by that point. We just dont know. We cant trust him.

The drink is really interesting. Two theories ive read, childs is so willing to share the whiskey which is suspicious (but i wonder if it could be interpreted as him accepting his fate?). The other is from a filmmakers art perspective, and that those who are infected throughout the movie have a certain gleam in their eyes, however ive never personally noticed this yet. Next watch i'll look for it.

(Arbiter and Chief) "The fire has the temperature up all over. It won't last long though." "Neither will we." .... "How will we make it?" "... Maybe we shouldn't."

[superectojazzmage]

Saw someone on Reddit theorize that the reason the Halo show is Like That is because it was supposed to be a Mass Effect show but they couldn’t get the rights so they just licensed some other famous science fiction game series, did some rewrites, and went from there. And I’m intensely disturbed because of how much sense this theory makes, because so much of the show feels like “Halo pretending to be Mass Effect”:

The general focus on internal, smaller-scale human conflicts, intergalactic politics, and relationships with the bigger alien threat building largely in the background.

The Covenant’s motives and reasons for attacking humanity being built up as a mystery like how Mass Effect makes a big deal out of nobody knowing why the Reapers do what they do (in contrast to the Halo games, where the Covenant’s motives are more or less known from the start). Also, how the Covenant aren’t really humanized in comparison to the games, being portrayed more like inscrutable beings using brainwashed human servants like the Reapers.

The frank depictions and discussions of sex and nudity. Halo’s generally always avoided outright sexual content beyond the occasional silly joke (e.g., “he was my lover!”), whereas Mass Effect never shied away from that subject.

The sheer fact that Master Chief fucks at all, and especially that he fucks a woman aligned with the aliens (and is speculated by some to be originally intended AS an alien). Fucking aliens is one of the bread-and-butters of Mass Effect, but can you ever imagine that in a Halo game beyond obvious non-canon gags like Johnson hugging the Elite in CE?

The portrayal of AIs. Cortana is a mix of EDI (AI made by morally dodgy group that slowly aligns with the good guys) and SAM from Andromeda (implanted into Chief’s nervous system rather then just carried in a chip like in the games). More vaguely, the Spartans’s portrayal as basically human robots “rediscovering their humanity” feels eerily similar to the Geth and their whole arc of developing individuality, with Chief filling the role of Legion.

Halsey acts a lot like a female Illusive Man, manipulating people for “the greater good” and lacking a lot of her more sympathetic traits from the games. Similarly, the guy playing Captain Keyes looks and acts A LOT more like Captain Anderson from Mass Effect (seriously, Danny Sapani is the perfect pick Anderson aside from getting Keith David to reprise the role; he’d be an amazing casting choice if this were a Mass Effect show). And just to cap it off, this Makee character is suspiciously similar to Benezia, serving the villains, the sex appeal, and it would explain why so many people get the vibe that she was intended as an alien.

The fact that the whole plot is kicked off when Master Chief goes to colony to find it was attacked by aliens and touches an ancient alien device that gives him a vision… just like Commander Shepard going to Eden Prime and touching the Beacon at the start of Mass Effect.

The way Parangosky is portrayed, arguing with and seeking respect from a Council while also covering for undercover black ops stuff would make a lot more sense as the Citadel Council and the whole subplot in Mass Effect of humanity having to prove themselves as newcomers who have only just got onto the Council (which would also explain Parangosky being made a lot nicer then in canon Halo; she’s a stand-in for the first human councilor in Mass Effect, taking elements from both Anderson and Udina).

This one is kind of a stretch but Kwan and the Madrigal subplot feel ever so similar to Tali and the Quarians (younger girl from a culture on the outskirts of galactic society leaves home and ends up working with her peoples’s perceived enemy and learning they’re not so different — again, lining up with the ”Spartans as Geth” idea). Kwan also seems to take a bit after Ashley, being survivor of the heretic Geth Covenant attack on Eden Prime her hometown and having similar ”angry tough girl” characterization.

Like, no, completely unironically I am one hundred percent sure that this was a Mass Effect script at some point in its production. If so, man, BioWare really dodged a bullet for once, huh?

[quinntamsin]

*Blinks and watches the intel feed into the HUD of her Mjolnir [Gen2].* “This is Quinn 393, copy.”

Okay, this is going to be far more like my initial reactions which means I am just posting my thoughts and considerations for the new Halo TV series.

I want to say the Cold Open introducing elements of the Insurrectionist movement and the deadly precision of Elites was, good. I liked it, I’m interested in how Kwan Ha will add to the series. Perhaps one of the weakest aspects of Halo (please note I AM NOT a heavy Halo Gamer, but I had friends who were stans of it) will give a greater level of inquiry against the UNSC. One of the biggest problems I’ve had with stories like Forward Unto Dawn the movie is how the early Colonial Rebels were rarely ever given any screen time or even elaboration.

Our spartans including all of Silver Team such as John-117, Vannak-134, Riz-028, and Kai-125 were introdced on pretty nice dramatic level. I really did like how they put effort into making even the group walking in unison give them an almost mechanical feel. The Elites looked appropriately Sanghelii and I was fascinated by how Kwan Ha and her dad provided a good insight into Madrigal. All of the colonists getting murdelated by plasma weapons was pretty brutal, but hell, we’re talking about an alien confederation that ‘glasses” fucking planets for being “heretics”.

Fuck them. we’re reclaimers right?

And instantly we are tossed into the bullshit that is the UNSC leadership. I know I’m skipping stuff here, but these last few days have been pretty low spoons. I found the Admiral  Margaret Parangosky to be pretty terrible. Let’s murder a kid cuz she’s not jumping at our propaganda! But, honestly, Shabana Azmi, is doing a decent job. She feels like they’re directing her to be a bit too much like Chrisjen from Expanse though. She was effectively amoral and really provided a great counter to Dr. Miranda Keyes attempt to get Kwan to play along. Halsey is, well she’s Halsey, our friendly little child kidnapping mad scientist who is someone I despise to all the Nine Hells.

Actress Natascha McElhone is an interesting choice, and while she’s a bit young for Halsey (she always appear a bit older to me, her hair is a bit too blonde rather than silver) I’m okay with her. I already don’t like her and prefer keyes. Introducing Makee (who I’m really confused why we needed this unnecessary rando human on High Charity) as a learning piece for High Prophet Mercy is a weird addition.

One of the best scenes in this show ignoring the opening fight scene was when the UNSC decides to put a kill order on Kwan. Well, of course, Chief goes awol and saves her life. He’s MASTER CHIEF! The idea of the Forerunner item unleashing his blocked memories was a nice touch, but for the love of GOD PUT YOUR DAMN HELMET BACK ON! Like I get it, we need to humanize Chief, but I don’t care. He’s iconic for being the bad ass who brings hope, and -never takes off his damn helmet-. Other than that and Makee I liked the series.

Hottakes - All conclude with PUT ON YOUR DAMN HELMET JOHN-117!

[bellygunnr]

riding high

stream of consciousness, halo 2 experience. random marine and the Master Chief.

halo 2 pelicans flying over new mombosa in a 3-man flight, as you do, and getting shot down by the scarab. your name is Kennedy Fucking Holmes and you're stationed on the In Amber Clad under great names such as Avery Johnson and Miranda Keyes herself-- and, most recently, The goddamn Master Chief it's your first tour as a marine you're as green as you get in a squad full of people far more experienced than you. even they dont talk or show their jitters because half your party has been transferred to other birds courtesy of the half-ton titan dangling from a titanium crash harness like he owns the place. he doesn't talk, doesn't even move, but sometimes you see a blue glow in his visor. and then you hear it. you feel it. the concussive blast of a bird being shot out fo the sky and the gut-emptying swerve of a troop ship trying to perform evasive maneuvers. just as you're leveling out, the reality of your situation hits you, and you don't think about much else until you're coming back around to blue sky amidst shorn steel and black smoke. your training is just fresh enough that you know what to do to get out. you don't look at the spartan-sized hole in the hull. you definitely don't try to think about all your buddies' IFF tags coming up empty or dead, and you certainly don't check their pulses before extricating yourself out of the pelican.

you're the last out of the bird and crawling out of the wreckage is hard. you've got some injuries, if the pain in your shoulder and lower back is to tell you anything. but you've got your gun-- a regular battle rifle-- and it's pretty easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys, so long as you stay behind the big green thing brutalizing an alien inches away from a marine's face. yeah, you look at that scene for way too long. by the time you come to, there's another covenant dropship leaving parting gifts overhead. its shiny purple hulk is free of the blue blood coating the Chief's hands.

not that you were thinking about that, of course. you form up on another marine and start to shoot. the little guys, the bigger guys, the tallest, in the shiny armor that ripples with shielding. between the lot of you-- how many survivors, you wonder-- they all go down pretty fucking fast.

but then there's the chief. where he goes, you find yourself following, your knuckles white around your gun. his armor makes no noise even as you stand behind him. he speaks only to declare movements and attacks and--

he throws you to the ground with a force that has you screaming but maybe that's because you do have a fucked up back. he explodes in a halo of muzzle flash and the smoky kiss of a frag grenade that pops off too close. concrete dividers and alien platforms protect you from the worst of it.

"You're hit, Marine," the chief says with a gravelly finality that just has you nodding

"The Pelican was hit first, sir," is what comes out of your mouth and he actually shakes his massive helmet at you

[godblooded]

not me making a halo verse for stark that changes nothing , the covenant invasion of earth just begins it and from there i catapult myself straight into do - whatever - the - fuck - i - want territory. let ‘ s throw some shit at the wall.

stark getting his hands on energy sword tech

stark getting his hands on energy sword tech

STARK GETTING HIS HANDS ON ENERGY SWORD TECH

FUNCTIONAL LIGHTSABER COMPLETED CONTAINMENT SOURCE ATTAINED

Stark programming one of the monitors is real but that man would never , ever , ever allow for halo ‘ s true function. i can ‘ t justify it at all because holy shit she would never , ever , ever allow for the flood to continue to live after aware of its dangers

doesn ‘ t mean somebody else can ‘ t lie to him about it

THIS EARTH ‘ S POPULACE BEING WHAT IS EVENTUALLY KNOWN AS THE FORERUNNERS

100% would infuse her personality into a monitor intended to combat the halo rings , tho , as a contingency plan for if the universe was ever going to be wiped out

howard having started inventing the spartan suit and stark scrapping the whole thing as a weaponization and building it back up as a protection unit

stark ‘ s fear of space here is just some real fun

an iron man mjolnir model as a prototype

dr. halsey making an improved version of the mjolnir that becomes the final mark iv suit eventually used for the Spartan program when she finds the perfectly preserved suit room

stark immediately tries to learn every alien language he can archive in order to be able to communicate but also seeking data to create a more fluid linguistic translator

let stark go completely batshit and invent the forerunner tech because once he gets his hands on energy - powered tech it ‘ s the perfect inspiration for him to go full engineer all over his lab

the tech for blinky eventually becoming the schematic for 343 - guilty spark

let stark INVENT

where ‘ s doc halsey that morally dubious bitch has stark crush written all the fuck over her

stark is rabid about how flash - cloning cannot be legal though he definitely founds some of the practice for the sake of organ - cloning and it gets taken and utilized to kidnap children for a military program

232 guilty stark

i shouldn ‘ t have snort laughed but the thought entered my head so there it is

the worst thing imaginable would be the gravemind gaining control of stark in order to create a successful version of the keyes gravemind destroyed on the truth and reconciliation way later , if these humans get to be forerunners and john - 117 and co. are alive in the future

( if stark was assimilated into the gravemind it would do nothing but speak in i can haz cheezburger memes )

a bedelia ai that acts as the prototype for cortana

more to come as i just grab whatever i want from wherever i want.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

More therapy thoughts part 1/?

Behavior Theory Frameworks/Conditioning and What the fuck does Master Chief talk about in therapy?

Ramblings below - like a lot, like I spent too much time writing this and you should not read this

Behavioral Theory could work well as a framework with rehabilitating Spartan IIs if the case worker focused on Operant Conditioning Theory and Cognitive Social Learning Theory, which I talked about in this ask because I think I’m funny and this blog is an archive of me applying human behavior theories to video games.

Spartans have always been taught the mission comes first! Always! The 2s are indoctrinated from age 6-14 and then have that reinforced the rest of their lives. From the beginning they are taught to push themselves to the limits, earn their food by winning, form bonds with teammates but be ready to sacrifice them for the mission. The whole lives wasted vs spent conversation between John and Mendez after the augmentation surgery!

What the UNSC/ONI wants comes before their lives, the lives of other soldiers, civilians, AI etc. This constant conditioning of expectations and rewards has created the norms cemented in their minds. This becomes standard operating procedure.

Spartans are also an entirely separated social group, other people have made really great posts on how they are Othered and have their own way of communicating with body language. ODSTs hate Spartans, marines see them as cyborgs or saviors, and while they’re allies, Spartans are not seen or treated as human, by literally everyone. They are a means to an end, with the original goal being to maintain the UNSC’s position of power and crush the insurrectionists in the outer colonies, but uh oh Aliens!

Maybe the 2s aren’t as expendable as the 3s but the mindset and reinforcement of “mission first, people second” being repeated their entire lives is going to stick. So is the constant mistreatment and abuse from their fellow soldiers and handlers. 

Addressing the cognitive distortions that come from their upbringing while also balancing the fact that Spartans are so fundamentally different from the way they developed to survive would be so much work, especially considering how much information on them is given to their therapist.  The main distortion I would apply is minimization, making large problems small and not properly dealing with them, and specifically for John, personification, accepting blame for negative events without sufficient evidence. 

Like these are grown ass super soldiers who can kill you in less than a second and calculate the amount of gravity in a room on the fly but then also can flounder when trying to comfort civilians or make small talk because their experiences and values are so alien to adults who had more developmentally “normal” lives. 

Literally applying therapy to Spartans would be like, what was done to you was wrong, the ends do not justify the means, you were children and the adults in your life failed to protect you. You are a human person who is fallible and did the best you could with what you had. And the Spartan would say, “sounds fake but okay, can I pass my psych eval and go back to war now please?”

Jumping back to Behavior Theory

Different approaches to therapy under the Behavior Theory umbrella help modify negative behaviors with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy that teach individuals adaptive coping like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, cognitive distortions, and interpersonal communication. And that’s just one framework under the umbrella of human behavior theories.

Social work therapy is different from psych as it approaches individuals with heavily researched, evidence-based theories and frameworks in a holistic viewing of person-in-environment, instead of a strong focus on internal psychology. 

Social work looks at all the interacting systems, environment, history, and internal and external factors affecting an individual. One of the most useful frameworks is the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Frameworks (BPSS) when helping a client. It helps with identifying all the intersecting factors, both risk and protective, that shapes a client’s lived experiences. The most important thing to remember is that the individual is an expert in their own life, they know their experiences best.

The hardest part is applying this to Spartans because they Are So Fucked, their lived experiences, their environments and systems and institutions interacting with them, and the amount of their personal information that is probably so classified.

BPSS is a tool to help social workers assess individuals and their situations by collecting info that is related to the presenting issues and current and past circumstances. Info like medical history, hospitalizations, substance abuse, mental illness, personal relationships, family history and background, culture and norms, education, legal history, spirituality and participation etc. is all under this framework. 

For Spartan 2s most of this info is lost or classified and helping someone who has repressed every negative emotion they've had for the sake of the mission would be so much to unpack but that’s also why you’re reading the mad ramblings over an over caffeinated nerd on the internet.

Life Course Theory which looks at developmental milestones and the individual’s experiences versus the socially expected markers, how do you apply that to children who were taken and have lived such different lives? 

While early adolescence is when “normal” development of thoughts of self and identity take place alongside the physical changes of puberty, Spartans were being turned into emotionless calculating weapons. Sorry John, no forming a sense of identity and peer bonds for you, go kill that Watts guy who betrayed us and joined the insurrectionists. 

And now that I’ve gone this insane and opened 2 whole textbooks up, let’s get to Master Chief thoughts. If you’ve read this far thank you, I swear I’m normal, 2020 has just been a weird year. 

Why the fuck did I think I could write a therapy fic on a guy with 20 minutes of actual dialogue across almost 2 decades of games?

I make fun of him and call him a himbo, but he’s smart, he knows he’s being used and there is resentment there that’s been building for years. 

There’s also decades of trauma and combat experience, physical, and emotional abuse, the lack of a support network,  lack of an identity, the biological factors and aftermath of the augmentations and injuries he’s received, a whole lot of grief and self-inflicted guilt. 

The loss of a third of his peer group with the augmentation surgery, Sam’s death, the loss of Reach (the only place he’s considered home), Keyes, the Pillar of Autumn crew, Miranda Keyes, Johnson, Cortana. He cares about the marines who fight with him!!!

He just stands there and takes it and rarely snaps, and even then it’s just small cracks on the surface with fissures running deep. The few details I will pull from Halo 5 are Blue Team’s reactions to John pushing himself so hard from the beginning of the game, and the literal crack in his armor from the fight with Locke. Like dude.  

John’s a leader and will get the mission done but he tugs on the leash. He’s earned enough of a reputation and uses it to get his way.

Halo 2’s “Permission to leave the station” with Mr. “I’m going to hand deliver a bomb to the fusion reactor of a covenant supercarrier and hope my friends catch me”. 

Halo 4 is when we see him say no to a superior officer and then 5 is him going AWOL. Palmer literally points out that no one is going to stop him.

Halo 5 kills me for many reasons but John bringing up Halsey and what she did to him and also pointing out that he knows Halo 5 Cortana is trying to manipulate him with psychological tactics hurts. 

He knows what’s been done to him!

I cannot remember which book it was but John isn’t used to working alone. He literally takes fire because he was expecting someone to have his back! 

He’s lost without Cortana! She was in his brain! Y’all! I played Halo Combat Evolved on the original xbox when I was like 8 and I knew these two were meant to be together. From the moment they met they had great chemistry and relied on each other! Cortana literally goes after people who have it out for John! John wants her approval and shows off for her in one of the books. 

I’ve already written too much here but like all of the games have John showing off for Cortana, making dry jokes, jumping out of things he shouldn’t. 

The whole point of this rambling is to try and get my thoughts about how to approach John’s character under control.

And that’s the thing. He’s lost control. He’s lost people, he’s losing his position and being phased out as an aging spartan, a relic. John’s used to following orders and making some decisions on the battlefield but it was always short term.

He has no identity beyond being a weapon. Complete the mission, clear the LZ, get put in cryo. Rinse, repeat. 

The timeline of the games are what I'm most familiar with but with the comics and books too it’s one long run from Halo 2 to Halo 4. Cairo station to the Dreadnought to the crash landing to Forward Unto Dawn to Requiem to “The Didact is Dead but not really but we’ll deal with him off-screen”.

I know Hood apparently gave John R&R orders before Halo 5 that he ignored and kept running himself into the ground. This is a man who has to keep moving and keep being useful. 

I imagine him giving in and seeking help as a last resort to fix any problems he has with performing his duties rather than helping himself be healthier. 

Any professional he sees is going to have to approach him like they’re approaching a self sacrificing feral cat, with lunch meat and quiet. This man needs to have his support network closer, set up long term goals, and do some serious, and most likely incredibly painful, self reflection on where he’s come from and where he wants to go. Get him out of that tin can and into therapy. I don’t have a nice neat ending because this was a ramble and also therapy is not neat and tidy. Thanks for reading my words about mr halo

[redwhitebreeze]

Ok, so...

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I THOUGHT REACH WAS GOOD BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH THE ORIGINAL HALO BLEW IT AWAY I mean Reach was spectacular and Noble Six will be a personal hero to me but damn. I see why this game is so iconic now.

As I stated previously I played it with my friend Soma aka the best fucking sniper I’ve ever met, and I must say, playing it coop didn’t remove anything from the experience considering we did it on legendary.

I entered expecting things based from what I knew: Master Chief is awakaned from his cryo sleep in order to stop the covenant and their super weapon the Halo, I thought “oh yeah classic hero vs alien shit huh? yea let’s watch the Chief do some sick shit explosions”.

And then.

343 Guilty Spark. The Flood. GOD DAMN that setup, the whole Jenkins camera and the road to that containment chamber, then the escape, it all happened so fast I thought this was the fabled Legendary Library y’all talk about, it was creepy, it was dark, it was great.

But no oh no, oh no no no Cygnus my dear child, how wrong you were because that wasn’t the library, it was what was coming next.

FUCK!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! THE LIBRARY!!! THE MOTHERFUCKING LIBRARY ON LEGENDARY DIFFICULTY!! THAT ROOM IN PARTICULAR!! Fucking 343 telling us “wait here” yeah sure lemme grab some snacks while the Flood FUCKING DECIMATES ME of course it is a good time right?

It was hella late by the time we got to Two Betrayals, around 4 am but by then we had already decided this shit was gonna get done in one sitting. We were tired but I was having a lot of fun, then it came: The last run. that fucking place with like 2 wraiths, a lot of gold and invisible elites, fucking hunters aiming for our asses and I dunno how we managed, it was amazing.

Then it came Keyes... phew, I still remember him wishing luck to Six on Reach and for him to end like that I didn’t expect, I honestly thought he was around maybe until halo 3 or 4 but NOPE he ended in that weird cocoon without a face...damn man.

Finally, The Maw. I was tired, it was around 5:30 am but we were close to the end, and how curious it was where everything started. Fighting our way through Flood, Covenant and Sentinels alike was ardous but it was an absolute blast (pun intended). And then we finished, around 6 am.

The game was amazing, the music is pure art that mixes with the environment and story as well as the Flood mixes with anything alive, Chief is a sassy son of a bitch (all these years I thought he was a silent protag but he’s only a man of few words). And the pistol is one of the best friends a Spartan can have.

I can just say: Halo: CEA is a masterpiece, again I can see why it marked an entire generation and why the Chief is hailed as one of the greatest videogame heroes and icons. I am glad to be finally experiencing this after years of impossibility due to not having an Xbox.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

8. Tell me lies a.k.a. the personal assistant, Occam’s razor and one more pool game (Part Two)

“Private McCready at your service!” I salute as she opens the door.

“Thanks Mike, you saved my life!” she exhales nervously and despite her words, she still seems to be in panic.

“And now get out of my way!” I push her aside and lift the guitar over my head like a baseball bat, ready to strike with it. “Where is he?”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. You called me in a hysterical voice a few minutes ago ordering me to bring a guitar and not to ask anything. So I thought someone, maybe a rubber had broken into your room and I had to eliminate him using the guitar as a weapon. Or is it a phone stalker who threatens you with killing your family if you don’t sing him Edelweiss from The Sound of Music immediately?”

“Very funny, Mike. I need it because…I just need it.” she grabs the instrument in question out of my hands.

“Ha, you won’t get away with it so easily! I brought Stone’s guitar risking life and limb for you, I deserve more than…”

“What? Stone’s guitar?” she frowns disgusted and tries to tuck it back into my hands.

“What’s your problem? When I opened the case of mine, I noticed that one of the strings had broken. So I asked him to lend his one. Neither is it infected with plague nor with cholera and I didn’t tell him I was going to give it further to you so do you need it or not?” This domestic war of them has started annoying me, they act like pouting children.

“I do but… but what if he finds out I used it? He’s like a deerhound, I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me…” she sighs in a softer voice.

“I can take care of myself, trust me, it remains our secret.” I wink as she finally accepts the guitar I handed her again.

“Thanks, bye, Mike…” she moves back into the small hallway and is about to close the door but I prevent it by stopping it with my foot.

“Hey, seriously… you don’t even tell me what you want to do with it, you just kick me out?” I ask insulted.

“I want to play it. Bye…” she makes one more attempt to get rid of me but this time I decide to be relentless and slip in closing the door quickly behind myself.

“I’m a lead guitarist, remember? Maybe I could even help you with whatever you’re going to do…”

“Okay…” she finally agrees and follows me defeated.

“Spill me!”

“Well… I have a few… musical ideas aaaand… I want to work on them but I reached a stage where I can’t make it out without a guitar.”

“Ah, songwriting? What’s the style? Do you write lyrics too? If you need a solo I can…”

“Hey, easy… I have only the melody of the vocal part more or less and I can hear parts of the accompaniment in my head too but I need to try it by actually playing it …”

“Then what are you waiting for? Play it!” I clap my hands impatiently.

“I need my notes…” she starts searching in her notebook until she rests at a page full of letter and number codes.

“That’s unbelievable… I mean, you do it exactly the other way around than us, our songs get written while strumming around and we only write down the chords afterwards… I mean Stone, Jeff and Ed, I’m not really a part of it…”

“Sometimes I do it that way too… it depends on my mood, I practiced harmonizing enough that I can write basic melodies with accompaniment without using any instrument, especially in classical musical styles. But as I’ve said this time…”

“You’re an alien. And I’m super envious. But let’s hear the song!” I cut her off excitedly. “Sorry, I mean… it’s interesting and all but I’m too curious to wait any longer.”

“It… it goes somehow like this…” she starts humming a simple melody, it’s meditative and yet progressive at the same time as the chords she’s playing get added to her voice. She stops playing at dissonant chords and corrects her notes but keeps humming. After the last notes she stares in front of herself lowering her head. Although I can’t see her face of her braids, guessing of her flaming ears I assume she’s reddened.

“I… I like it, it’s cool… really… hey… Earth to Jude!” I lower my head too forcing her to look at me. She finally reciprocates my smile and closes the notebook.

“Please don’t be too critical about my guitar skills, I’m just a lame self-taught player…”

“On one hand, you’re not lame, on the other hand, I can give you some advice if you want to…” “Really? That would be great. My first problem is my left wrist, I can’t find the optimal position…”

“I think you should…” As I lean closer I glance at her wristwatch. “Jesus, Judy, it’s already 6 p.m.!!!” I exclaim.

“And… what?” she furrows her eyebrows.

“Jeff is to show up at 6:30, isn’t he?”

“And…? We have thirty minutes until then so…” she insists with a clueless shrug fidgeting with the strings.

“You should prepare for your date. Try on clothes, do your makeup or do whatever girls usually do before dates…”

“It’s not a date and I…”

“Jude, believe or not it doesn’t depend on how you call it. He bought shaving foam, after shave and deodorant in large quantities and I know this because I was with him.”

Not that Jeff has problems with personal hygiene but buying a whole drug store isn’t typical of him.

“Shaving foam?” she repeats desperately.

“Exactly.” I nod. Okay, she’s finally started realizing what I’m talking about.

“Deodorant?” her face looks all the more miserable, if that’s possible at all.

“Yep. And he was even whistling all morning. So please go and wash your hair at least.”

“Hey, it’s not even grea…”

“Jude.”

“Okay, I’m going.” she drags herself towards the bathroom but suddenly turns back with a threatening expression as she notices me sneaking towards the door.

“Don’t you dare leave!” she orders pointing at me with her index finger.

“Jesus…” I sigh and sit back onto the bed.

And now? What the hell should I do? I’m sitting in someone else’s hotel room like a watchdog and I don’t even know why… I pick up her notebook from the nightstand, lean back carefully not to sink too deep into the pillow and begin to study her notes. Although I can’t understand much of them, I get lost in them for long minutes trying to figure out her concept. I start to the ringing of the phone on the nightstand, it’s set to a low volume so Judy can’t hear it over the sound of running water. Fuck… should I ignore or answer it? I have nothing to do with her private conversations but what if it’s important, what if something happened in her family or… Shit.

“Hello?”

“…”

“Hello? Who’s speaking? I mean, who’s not speaking?”

“Uh, uhm, sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number…” a young, female voice apologizes.

“No, I mean, here’s room number 116.”

“Sure? You’re definitely not Judith Camden or Karrie Keyes…”

“Uh, oh… I��m… I’m the… the personal assistant of Miss Camden, Mr…. Mr…” Shit, why is that I’m not able to improvise in problematic situations? I bend my neck in ninety degrees to be able to read anything from the book she left open on the bed. “Mr. Sforzato?” I utter finally although it rather sounds like I’m questioning since I’m not sure at all I pronounced the word correctly.

“Mr. Sforzato?” the woman on the other end of the phone lets out a short, melodic laughter. “That’s interesting, your voice is very familiar, I would swear I’ve heard it somewhere… would you keep talking, I wanna figure out… how long has my sister had a personal assistant, anyway?” she chats on playfully.

“Being in the showbusiness, she realized she needed someone who helped her with managing time. Staff members are also very busy, I’m responsible for her program schedule.”

“Hahaha, then please ask her if she has a few minutes for her sister?” Effie??? The KISS fanatic little sister? I need a few seconds to rearrange my thoughts although hearing that she’s smiling while she’s speaking doesn’t help much…

“Oh, Miss Camden? It’s a pleasure to meet… hear you but I’m afraid Miss Judy can’t come to the phone right now, she’s preparing her toilet for an evening invitation which may involve romantic elements too…”

“SO SHE’S HAVING A DATE WITH JEFF AMENT, IT’S TRUE THEN!!!” she screams suddenly in the phone. “I have to talk to her, Mike, it’s extremely important! Otherwise she’ll screw up everything!”

Yeah, that’s very likely to happen if she goes on like this…

“As I mentioned, my name is Mr. Sforzato and she’s truly washing her hair so…”

“Okay, then we skip to plan B. Did she leave her glasses in the room?”

“Why is that so important?”

“Did she or not?” the sweet voice has turned definitively into the yelling of a drill instructor.

“Yes, she did, they’re on the nightstand.” I mutter unwillingly.

“Hide them.”

“What? No, why would I…”

“I said hide them! Shesgotcontactlensesbutshestoolazythowearthemandsheshidingherstunningeyesallthetimesoyouhavetohelpplease!” she jabbers with one breath and I can hear that Judy begins to dry her hair in the meantime.

“You can’t be serious, I’m not gonna interfere with her…”

“Mike, you’ve probably noticed how awkward my sister can be with guys so I would really appreciate if you would help me prevent a possible disaster, plus, you would help your bandmate too, is that really such a huge ask?” she tries again in a mellower voice. Okay, mellow is a mild expression, I could listen to her reading even the phonebook for days… I try to think coherently and find out more counter arguments but Judy turns the hairdryer off and to my biggest surprise my instant reaction is to grab her glasses and put them under the pillow. I mutter a quiet “done” into the receiver and hang up placing it cautiosly back onto the phone device.

“I gave it up, it’s too late, I can’t dry my hair properly.” Judy storms out of the bathroom; her face is framed by her half-wet strands. This is the first time I’ve seen her wearing her hair down which is much longer than I thought.

“Do you see my glasses somewhere?” she circles neurotically in the room, groping the furniture.

“No, I don’t, didn’t you leave them in the bathroom?” I deadpan pretending to lean against the pillow again. I should work on my abs, I can’t hold myself in this fake position for long…

“No, I’m sure I left them somewhere here… Shit, I can’t go to an exhibition twinkling like a mole…” she keeps panicking.

“But you have contact lenses, don’t you?” I inquire casually or at least I’m trying to sound like that.

“Yes and I hate them but I don’t seem to have any other choice…” she hurries back in the bathroom and begins to rummage in her wash bag.

“I should leave, y’know, it would be awkward if Jeff found me in your room so…” I straighten up and fix the pillow to hide the temples of the glasses. “Just be cool, it’s just a date, Jeff is a great guy, you’ll have fun.” I send her an encouraging smile and wave at her before leaving, which she responds with a blind, mechanic copy of my move.

I have to wait for the elevator in the floor for a while. As it arrives and its door opens, I bump into the freshly shaved, grinning Jeff. Jesus, he’s wearing an ironed shirt.

“Wish me luck.” he reaches his fist towards me and I hit mine automatically against it. As he passes me by I can smell the fragrance chemtrail of male perfume he’s streaking on his way to Judy’s room. I sigh shaking my head but entering the elevator my thoughts wander back to the only thing which has been on my mind for long minutes: what should I do to get to hear that voice again?

***

“So you’re a real renaissance man, aren’t you?” I ask Jeff while we’re walking back to our hotel which isn’t near the gallery at all but feeling the mild, spring weather Jeff suggested not taking a cab. Normally, I would enjoy evening walks but since Beth informed me about Jeff’s possible intentions and Mike prevented me from ignoring them, I’ve been just panicking. Jeff’s friend, Zach is a really nice guy and – thank goodness – a great talker as well so I didn’t experience awkward silence at the exhibition for one single minute. And even when other guests stole him from us, I could use his photos as excuses for talking about anything but private topics. But now we’re all alone and damn, how come I was able to talk to him effortless until this morning and since we left the gallery I’ve felt like someone put a sixteen ton weigh on my chest? I had the feeling that Jeff told Zach why he had chosen me as his partner for this evening. Not that he dropped any hints about us but the way he looked at us… or was it only my usual paranoia? Stop overthinking everything…

“Hey, are you trying to say that my clothes aren’t fashionable anymore?” he snickers nudging me gently on the shoulder with that of his.

“Well, I didn’t mean it exactly that way but once you came up with it…” I grin and feel his fingers clenching my throat playfully and gently from behind. “Okay, okay, your clothes are cool, haute couture, really.” Nope, your hats are ridiculous but who am I to inform you about it?

��Oookay, I’ll spare your life.” his fingers release my neck reluctantly.

And the girl felt butterflies in her stomach… Nope, that’s a different story, the girl doesn’t feel anything except for cold sweat. We walk on silently for a while but I don’t like this silence as the only thing I can think about is asking myself again and again: what the hell I’m doing here with him?

“But seriously, A: you’re an athlete. You play basketball and you’re a skater guy.” I pick up the thread again overtalking the voices in my head. Anyway, he has an athletic body, right? Girls like guys with athletic body, right? But damn, I wish his calves weren’t so thick.

“And that doesn’t mean anything, I’m pretty sure that Leonardo da Vinci wasn’t familiar with either of them.” he keeps joking about my choice of words.

“You can’t be sure, he even tried to invent a tank…”

“… that is almost a skateboard?”

“Haha, I don’t let you distract me, B: you’re an artist. I saw you drawing a few times but when you mentioned art school, somehow my brain didn’t put the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together…” I go on compulsively. He’s artistic, that means he’s sensitive, right? And sensitive guys are gentle and caring, right? But how can he draw with those sausage fingers?

“I studied graphic design but the program was canceled so I quit college and moved with my hardcore band to Seattle. But I didn’t give up making art stuff, luckily Ed has the same enthusiasm about creative projects as me… You know, before his arrival I felt like a lonely fighter, I couldn’t really share my ideas with Mike or Stone.”

“It’s understandable. Stone doesn’t seem to be a very artistic type.” I snort as I imagine him fighting clumsily with paper scissors while he’s trying to create doilies.

“Believe or not, he’s not a total jerk, he’s got emotions, he only refuses consistently to show them and can’t handle if someone does it either. You should have seen his face when Ed gave him one of the collages he made during his flight from San Diego to Seattle, he was like “Jesus, he’s an alien, we should send him back before it’s too late!”

We both burst out laughing. But his smile is nice, isn’t it? Manly. His nostrils are unrealistically wide, though. There was a picture of a Neanderthal in the history classroom of my former high school. But how did that come to mind? My brain is messing with me.

“But as we began to have more and more gigs, I suggested to Ed starting a newsletter for our friends and fans and he totally liked the idea, I could also count on him when I helped Cameron, you know, the guy who directed the movie in which we played… And if you remember the cover of Ten, in the background you can see the text “Pearl Jam” with huge letters… it was Ed and me who made those letters, we cut them out of planks and painted them… it was a challenge since Mike was chasing a cat around us, our first drummer, Dave was sleeping drunk in the corner and Stone… you know, he supported us spiritually.”

“Ah, so he basically did nothing apart from throwing in witty remarks…”

“Exactly, how did you figure it out?” Jeff laughs pretending astonishment.

“The guy is predictable. Anyway, C: you’re a musician. And not an average musician but also a songwriter.”

“…and…?”

“And? And??? Jesus, Jeff, maybe it’s not a big deal to you since you’re surrounded by talented bands all the time but being able to compose something new is a huge gift! A lot of musicians would kill if they could do it too, having good ears is one thing but songwriting… that’s another league.”

Ears. Gosh, I hate his earrings. Why can’t he be just a plain guy who wears denims with shirts or tees?

“I don’t know, it comes naturally to me, I’ve always written songs with all of my bands… Deranged Diction, Green River, Mother Love Bone…”

“Actually, I was at a Mother Love Bone show a few years ago.”

“Really? When? Where?” his face lights up of surprise.

“I don’t know, I totally forgot about it but Effie reminded me of it when I was pondering if I should call Karrie back. But I can clearly remember that I was pretty pissed off.”

“Hahaha, why? Did we suck that much?”

“No, I just didn’t want to go there at all. Effie was to meet her crush there and our parents probably suspected something because they allowed her to go only if I would go with her too. So you can imagine, she wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea and neither was I since I wanted to stay at home with my scores and practice, maybe feeling sorry for myself for five minutes every hour… Unwillingly, though, but I accompanied her.”

“And did you enjoy the show?”

“Honestly, I can’t remember much of it… Of course as Effie found her crush, she didn’t give a shit about me anymore and they spent the evening with making out so I was surprised it was her of us two who had remembered anything from it…”

“You should have chosen a guy for yourself too and made out with him.” he grins audaciously.

No, no way, Jeff Ament, I’m not going to talk about making out with you… I mean talk with you. About making out. Damn.

“I leaned against the wall and was fuming the whole evening. As for the gig, all I can remember is you singer…”

“Andy?”

“Yeah… and… uh, sorry for saying this but I thought he acted like a clown, I mean, talking to the people on the balcony in a concert venue where there isn’t any balcony?”

Yeah, Judy, you’re doing it great, insulting his dead friend is a perfect change of topic, keep it up…

“Hehe, yeah, a typical andyism, acting as if you were playing in a huge arena even if your only audience are the doormen of the bar…” he smiles in front of himself but a painful feature appears on his face at the same time.

“I was rude, sorry, I know you were friends and…” I gibber awkwardly.

“You don’t have to apologize, the fact he died doesn’t mean we can’t talk honestly about him. Anyway, when Stone came up with idea of playing with him, I was against it, I knew about his problems and his extravagant style was too much for me… But as I got to know him better I realized how warm-hearted and talented he was…”

“He was a real showman, right?”

“Absolutely…” he sinks back into his memories. Great. If you don’t want the guy to flirt with you, make him sad. Date tips for psychos, lesson one. But suddenly a faint fragment of that night flashes through my brain.

“And… and… you know what I can remember apart from Andy? An exceptionally distasteful leopard vest.” Jesus, what if it was him who was wearing it? Please tell me it wasn’t you, please tell me it wasn’t you…

“Oh yeah, it was Stone’s favorite piece of cloth at that time.” Phew. Thank goodness. What? Stone???

“At least you can blackmail him with the photos of him in that vest till the end of time…”

“Unfortunately it’s not that simple… he has pics of me wearing spandex leggings on stage so…” he snickers. “And to tell the truth, we were more familiar with the use of eyeliner than most girls.”

“Ugh.”

“Hey, it was in the eighties, I’m sure you made a few poor style choices too…” Should I tell him I bought this dress when I was fourteen?

“Effie tried makeups and hairstyles on me all the time but luckily I never crawled out of my cave so it is still you who takes the cake by having jumped on stage in leggings… Ah, where were we, C, right? D: Dancing?”

“It depends on what we call dancing. I took dance lessons in Big Sandy but I abandoned dancing to prevent my parents from going bankrupt due to the massive compensation they had to pay to the parents of the unlucky female victims… do you know how expensive a leg amputation is?”

Jesus, poor Mike.

“You can’t be that bad at dancing. You’re a musician, you have sense of rhythm… Singing?”

“I’m trying. I used to sing to my records while listening to them but my dad thought I was hiding a jackal in my room. Luckily my bands have always allowed me to sing the backup vocals…”

“They haven’t.” I smile mysteriously.

“What?” he asks back confused.

“As your future monitor engineer the first thing I had to learn was what the staff calls “the secret setup of Jeff’s mic.”.”

“…which means…?” he stops opposite me since in the meantime we’ve arrived back to the hotel.

“…switching it off and knock out everyone who tries to switch it back.”

“You’re not as innocent as I thought.” he smiles and the way his eyes are resting on my face makes me feel uncomfortable.

“It’s not my fault, the others told me to do so, this is the rule, I don’t want to be fired.” I play on, or at least I try to do it since despite his smile his gaze radiates some kind of confidence.

“But maybe asking out the monitor engineer could help change this rule.” he adds still staring at me. Come on, Jeff, blink finally. Blink!

“Hehe, I don’t know, Eric is the boss you know…” I babble and try to blow a strand out of my mouth since the light spring breeze started ruffling my hair.

“Soooo… we’re back. What’s next?” he asks stroking it gently away. His hands are warm and his touch is surprisingly pleasant, basketball freak bass players shouldn’t have such soft hands…“Do you want to take a walk in the park?”

In the park? But it’s dark… and there are benches there… benches are excellent for…” Alarm! ALARM!

“But we’ve been walking until now… and I’m a little bit tired and… “

Nope, I’m not, at all. Granny used to teach us that lying is a sin. But it’s only a tiny lie. It doesn’t matter.

“Or do you wanna grab some food and join the guys at the bar?” he points at a building on the other side of the street. Joining the guys after a date? What a great idea. Or what if we lay in front of a truck or jumped off a cliff?

“I’m… I’m not really hungry…” Honestly, I could eat a horse… Hey little liar… Joan Jett begins to sing treacherously in my head. Thanks Joan, this helps a lot. “My lips hurt, maybe my herpes is about to recur…” Hey little liar… I would swear I can hear Granny singing in the background, Joan, when did you hire her?

“Oh, that’s pretty inconvenient…”

“Yeah, I’ve struggled with it from time to time…” Actually, I’ve never had herpes… and I have no idea what I’m going to say when he notices tomorrow that nothing happened with my face… Hey little liar… Is this song really echoing in the street or it’s just a trick of my mind? “I can barely keep my eyes open, I think I’d rather hit the hay, tomorrow will be a looong day…”

“Yeah… but… if you don’t mind, I’d have a beer with the others… so… dream something nice.” he flashes a meaningful smile at me, strokes me on the shoulder and turns back to cross the street. I forget to answer as I stay standing in front the hotel. Okay, date checked. It could have been worse, right? And now? Jeff meets the guys and… I hope they won’t discuss it. Me. Guys don’t discuss emotional stuffs, right? Ugh. What’s the next step? Oh yeah, I should enter the building…

I walk across the lobby but before I could reach the elevator, suddenly I perk up. I hear smooth piano music and following the sound I find myself in the bar room of the hotel. Actually, a drink would be nice. God, I definitely need a drink.

[hebblog]

Halo | Episode 2 It’s been a month, I honestly forgot this show was even a thing…that sucks.

On the last episode; Chief was cool until the last 5mins. 

This episode starts with a flashback, great! THIS is how I want to see unmasked Chief. This is the only way we should be seeing him as a human. That’s literally the battle inside him throughout the series. The enemy on the battlefield changed from human to alien to “gods”, just like the battle inside the soldiers fighting those wars changes. Arbiter struggled with whose side he was on - while Chief struggled with his humanity. If you just shove his humanity down our throats, there’s no struggle…he’s just some soldier. 

I’m ok with seeing other Spartans helmet less, because I feel like that ADDS to the whole mystery/struggle of Chief. Here is an army of people, soldiers, making choices and dealing with consequences. While he stays armoured up, closed off, always on duty. 

Aaaaand the helmet comes off immediately. This is so weird. And yes, I will continue to make a big deal of this throughout the series. 

I do really like the production of the show though. Doesn’t feel like every episode is a movie, it’s juuust “cheap” enough to feel like a fun sci-fi show. 

AND NOW THE REST OF THE ARMOUR’S OFF?!? Geezus fucking christ…

I’ve never wanted to switch to the Covie side so bad-and it’s a white woman speaking on their behalf. Again…why?

I wonder how much / what kind’ve training an actor needs to learn a completely made up language. 

What…

Cortana is what?

Why is she a human in a bubble? 

Why are they talking like AI’s are ONLY her, like she is ALL AI’s…that’s not…no. 

The “Cortana System”…? Like, I get it. Keep things smaller here, less AI’s to keep track of / splinter off into different stories. Cortana being an umbrella AI does line up with where the games went…kinda. 

Uhhhh I just paused/played and the whole site crashed. What the heck Paramount+???

Holy SHIT dude, this dude on Madrigal is FIERCE

Wait so the Covenant has been attacking settlements for…what…more than a decade (if this lady talking about being attacked as a girl is…she’s gotta be late 30’s at LEAST). Everyone was talking about them like they were new-ish.

Chief is 100% going to fight his own team. That will be sweet. 

It’s also weird that Miranda Keyes is a…scientist? Instead of a pilot/soldier. 

They talk about the Covenant like they’ve been battling them forever, but the UNSC talks like it’s a secret, and the freedom fighters had no idea who they were? They can’t keep their story straight on the Covies at ALL. 

And now they’re going to go talk to an underground leader, but Cheif won’t wear his helmet. I hate this. 

A guy in a cage underground knows more about the Covenant than anyone else. Cool. Just feels like a bad hollywood trope, rather than a cool part of the Halo lore. 

That helmet-up scene wasn’t as awe inspiring as they think it was. The soundtrack kinda slaps though (maybe because it’s almost a direct ripoff of Mass Effects). 

And the whole suit is off again, of course. 

oh my fucking god, if Chief is “connected” to this Covenant lady, I’m going to lose it. Like, if that’s his long lost sister or something…I’m going to barf. Chief has one connection; Cortana. John has one connection; Halsey.

A human Cortana…I hate that so much. 

In the end, episode 2 felt less like Halo than episode 1 did. 

[poeticpascal]

RULES: tag ten followers you want to know better

tagged by: @seniorrogers, thank you friend!! 

TAGGING: @daryldamnson @sweet-barnes @jeonisbored @bookfrog242​ @from-the-southside​ @spideywhiteys​ @eightiesbucky​

STAR SIGN: Gemini and proud ✌️

HEIGHT: roughly 5′6

PUT YOUR ITUNES/SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 4 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

1. Ruby Tuesday; The Rolling Stones

2. Dear Sister; The Pretty Reckless

3. APESHIT; The Carters

4. A Kind of Magic; Queen

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

"I tolld him I dont know how to think yet but he says he means more things like what I wrote about my mom and dad and what happened when I started school” Flowers For Algernon, Daniel Keyes (just started this and it’s so good!)

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

lol i have actually

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR?

every damn day i play air guitar

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

sebastian stan, basically any band member, jared leto (😍), stephanie beatriz, evan peters, etc. 

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE + SOUND YOU LOVE?

Hate: chewinnnnnng

Love: you know when you out a record on and the needle hits the outer ridge bit and makes that lil hitch noise?? i love that shit

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

one hundred percent, i’ve actually had paranormal experiences (which i will gladly share if anyone wants)

HOW ABOUT ALIENS?

yes!! i understand why people don’t believe in ghosts but i actually find it a lil bit ridiculous that people don’t believe in aliens like... the universe is big as fuck, it’s impossible that we’re the only life!! plus, as far as we know, one in nine planets contains life so that’s p good stats!

DO YOU DRIVE?

i actually started learning recently! i love it so far :D

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED?

not yet, although i know that i was in a crash w my parents when i was a baby but i dont remember it (and no one was seriously hurt thankfully)

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?

What Happened by Hillary Clinton, it was really interesting! 

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE?

i actually do 😂

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?

infinity war... it hurts as much as the first time

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD?

i broke my arm when i was like 9, i remember we didn't go to the hospital for it until like a week later bc we thought id just sprained it and i complained to my teacher about how much my arm hurt and she basically said i was being over dramatic and exaggerating, next day i came in w a cast on bc it was broken and that bitch was Shook

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?

fall out boy’s new ep, it really is the shit

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG?

i definitely do but only when people deserve it, on the one hand i think you do have to move on from things but on the other it just doesn't seem right to me to let people get away w doing wrong shit to you, you know?

IN A RELATIONSHIP?

nope, and y’all need to hmu bc i am l o n e l y 

[i-want-to-have-control]

hello!! i was tagged by @flowersyoureastar, thank you!

name: Skyler

star sign-  Aries

height-  5’7 

put your library on shuffle; what are the first 4 songs that came up?

The Rising Ride- The Killers

Sweetie Little Jean- Cage the Elephant

Do I Wanna Know?- Arctic Monkeys

Celebrating Nothing- Phantogram

grab the book nearest you and turn to pg 23, what’s on Line 17?

     “She scrimped out three patties and put them on the grill. The smell that        arose was maddening.” from The Gunslinger by Stephen King

ever had a poem or song written about you?

     uhhhh yeah on like the first date I had been on in my whole ass life this 14yo dude (i was the same age) wrote me a poem. it was bad.

when was the last time you played Air Guitar?

     oh yikes, it’s been at least a few days

who is your celebrity crush?

     brANDON FLOWERS I LOVE HIM

what are 1) a sound you hate, and 2) a sound you love?

my sister crying

my little dog breathing softly, or the sound of paint i’m mixing (idk i don’t care for paint mixing sounds created by other people)

do you believe in ghosts?

No, i believe dumb shit happens

how about aliens?

i believe in life beyond earth, but idk if i’d call them aliens. we’re aliens too.

do you drive?

Yeah I got my license in early may, now you can find me speeding down the highway blasting “who let you go”

if so, have you ever crashed?

i ran over a bedframe that my mother left in the driveway but other than that, no

what was the last book you read?

idk  if this means the last bookI read at all or the last book i finished,, i read a little of this Gunslinger book, and the last book I finished was probably Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

do you like the smell of gasoline?

yes i actively seek out gasoline to smell it

what was the last movie you watched?

movie? i went to our theater’s pre-screening of The Meg (it was okay)

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i fell off my bike in like 2014 and fractured my wrist, it really wasn’t too bad

do you have any obsessions rn?

mmmm yeah i’m obsessed with my dumb cowboy husband brandon flowers, and also i’ve been really into The Neighbourhood recently (their latest album)

do you tend to hold grudges against people who’ve done you wrong?

yeah i can be pretty bad about it, but it definitely has to be something that really fucked me up. 

in a relationship?

i talk to a guy. it might happen. not sure yet.      (edit) he’s kind of an asshole I told him I wasn’t feeling it whoops

again, thank you very much to @flowersyoureastar, i enjoy doing these things. I have limited mutuals who also like/pay attention to these, so I’ll tag @exitllude, @i-wanna-jump-out-of-my-skin, and @gamingghost (we don’t talk but i’d like to get to know you!) have a wonderful day everyone!!

[vampxrebarbie]

i’m also incredibly unhappy with halo 3 fridging the hell out of miranda keyes, but that’s another story

[emmavakarian-theirin]

okay i'm having some mass effect/halo feelings so fuckING BEEP BEEP INCOMING [SPOILERS TOO OBVIOUSLY]

so in halo 3, these 3 characters can be in the same room at various points in the game

you've got this dude, arbiter, same voice as anderson (for the moment, let's pretend he's the protagonist and forget master cheif)

you've got johnson, who's probably the closest to garrus you can get in halo

then you've got commander keyes, who's basically femshep

the last time they're all in the same room? know what the mission is called?

storm the citadel.

they're in the citadel, one of the last missions.

know what else?

'femshep's forced to aim her gun at 'garrus' (so close! 'anderson' isn't there yet...)

what are they trying to avoid?

letting a madman activate a weapon of mass destruction under beliefs it's for a good thing.

and by the end of it, one is fatally wounded and the other is dead. in this case, however, femshep is dead (shot in the back by the madman/illusive man. this is where it gets slightly AU-y)

after battling hordes of aliens as well as giant machines that shoot beams, anderson eventually finally reaches them... only it's too late..

femshep's lifeless body is lying in garrus' arms, garrus barely able to move. garrus tells anderson to stop the weapon from being activated and save the rest.

to which he does by killing the illusive man after arguing with him over what he's doing all the while simultaneously being controlled by the enemy in some form.

and then the game goes on for a little bit but that's what i've been dealing with so enjoy

[godblooded]

calling bullshit that the prophet was taken by the gravemind and still lucid and capable of their own autonomy and speech while keyes was only capable of begging to be murdered as a moss zombie glued to the floor repeating his name and identification number. i know keyes was just ultimately infested by the flood and then formed into a proto - gravemind , but fuck you , Jacob deserved more honor than the wrinkly jesus dog alien.

[enforcementdroid-209]

Peter Keyes: Ten years ago one of his kind stalked and eliminated an elite special forces crew in central America. There were two survivors. They indicated that when trapped, the creature activated a self-destruct device that destroyed enough rainforest to cover 300 city blocks. Remarkable weaponry. That's right lieutenant. Other-world life-forms. Lieutenant Mike Harrigan: Huh? Peter Keyes: A fucking Alien!