#frozen shoulder exercise
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newhopephysio · 7 months ago
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Shoulder injuries are experienced at all ages; Normal conditions are,
Shoulder Dislocations:
The shoulder, being the most frequently dislocated joint in the human body, poses a significant health concern. It's alarming that almost 2% of the population experience a shoulder dislocation each year.
The injury occurs when the upper arm bone pops out of the cup-shaped socket, which is part of the shoulder blade.
Rotator Cuff Injuries:
The spectrum of injury for rotator cuff pathology ranges from Tendinosis (i.e., intrinsic wear and degeneration) to partial tears and ultimately to a complete tear. Patients with Tendinosis and partial tears may experience shoulder pain, while patients with complete tearing of the rotator cuff may also endorse shoulder weakness.
Frozen Shoulder:
It is a common condition that affects the shoulder joint, causing pain and Stiffness that build up gradually. The main symptom is the inability to move the shoulder in any direction without feeling pain. Stretching before activities can help reduce further injury and Stiffness.
Whether you're grappling with shoulder pain, Stiffness, or undergoing surgery, adhering to a well-structured physiotherapy treatment plan is not just important; it's crucial. It's the key to achieving the best possible outcome and returning to all of your favorite activities. Book an Appointment: 📞: 905-846-4000 https://www.newhopephysio.com 170 Sandalwood Pkwy E #1, Brampton, ON L6Z 1Y5 https://maps.app.goo.gl/y2YrFYp97h1sKnaUA
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roshni99 · 11 months ago
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जब से फ्रोजन शोल्डर से परेशान हैं? डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू लाएंगी आपके लिए विशेष व्यायाम टिप्स, जो की स्टिफनेस को कम करने और आपकी मोबिलिटी को पुनः प्राप्त करने में मदद करेंगे! 💪✨ 🔍 फ्रोजन शोल्डर एक्सरसाइज़ क्यों? फ्रोजन शोल्डर आपकी दिनचर्या को प्रभावित कर सकता है। डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू के विशेषज्ञ व्यायाम से आपको आराम, लचीलापन और शक्ति वापस करने में मदद मिलेगी। 👩‍⚕️ डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू से मिलिए: वर्षों के अनुभव के साथ, डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू एक प्रमुख फिजिओथेरेपिस्ट हैं जो आंगनवाद के माध्यम से जीवन को सुधारने के लिए समर्पित हैं। उनके सुझाव आपको दर्दमुक्त, सक्रिय जीवन की ओर मार्गदर्शन कर सकते हैं। 🌈 अपने कंट्रोल में लें शोल्डर स्वास्थ्य! 👉 *देखें और सीखें*: डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू के अनन्य व्यायाम शिक्षण का लाभ उठाएं। 📚 *खुद को शिक्षित करें*: फ्रोजन शोल्डर के पीछे विज्ञान को समझें और सार्वभौमिक स्वास्थ्य सुझावों की खोज करें। 🔄 *ज्ञान को बाँटें*: दूसरों को बढ़ावा देकर समृद्धि की ओर बढ़ें। हम शोल्डर के स्वास्थ्य की समृद्धि का समुदाय बना सकते हैं! 🔥 कॉल टू एक्शन: फ्रोजन शोल्डर की सीमाओं से मुक्त होने के लिए तैयार हैं? अब ही डॉ. खुशबू मत्तू के आंदोलन में शामिल हों! 📌 उनके पृष्ठ को नियमित रूप से संपर्क करें: [email protected] 🚀 अभ्यासों में समाहित हों और शोल्डर के मुक्ति की ओर अपनी यात्रा शुरू करें! 💡 **जो इसकी आवश्यकता है, उसे टैग करें! मिलकर, चलिए हम फ्रोजन शोल्डर से मुक्त होकर और गति और शक्ति के जीवन का स्वागत करें। 💪 #शोल्डरस्वास्थ्य #DrMattooकेसाथस्वतंत्रता #शोल्डरमुक्ति" 🌟"व्यावसायिक समर्थन और ��वश्यक साधनों के लिए हमारे मोबाइल ऐप को डाउनलोड करें: 📲 Android: http://bit.ly/3JACQOb 🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/3I0QKbe हमारी वेबसाइट: www.raphacure.com यहां से ऐप डाउनलोड करें और अपने व्यावसायिक और स्वास्थ्य आवश्यकताओं का समर्थन प्राप्त करें। एक सुरक्षित और सुचना-पूर्ण अनुभव के लिए हमारे ऐप का उपयोग करें।" frozen shoulder exercises,frozen shoulder treatment,frozen shoulder exercises at home,frozen shoulder exercise,frozen shoulder physiotherapy,shoulder frozen treatment,shoulder pain relief exercises,frozen shoulder recovery,how to treat frozen shoulder,sukoon physical therapy,dr varun wasil,frozen shoulder pain relief,shoulder pain relief,shoulder mobilization techniques,frozen shoulder stretches,swami ramdev,baba ramdev,ramdev,yog guru,yog,yoga
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fizziyo · 16 days ago
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afternoonblues · 4 months ago
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i'm not being completely cruel. yes, i know it may seem like i'm being one but. no. my mother needs to understand that her frozen shoulder cannot stay that way forever unless and until she starts doing some exercises or physical therapy. i understand her leg pain. old age, spine injury. all that usual jazz. but frozen shoulder? now i've had my fair share of that too along with neck becoming so stiff every once in a while from sleeping in a wrong way that it has brought me to tears but i've done exercises to heal myself up. she's just not doing it. she thinks if i keep on massaging her shoulders, her hands and both of her legs, then it will eventually recover.
it will not. it's been months.
and, i've told her multiple times i cannot keep on massaging her every single night. she will not understand my mental capacity right now and i don't expect her too, but to do this shit every night since god knows when for years? i am done. so tonight, no, actually since the morning when she was in a pretty good mood, i've been telling her that i will not be massaging her hand tonight unless and until she starts doing some of those very very very simple exercises (even the neurologist had told her to do the same! when we went in march for her bell's palsy check-up, from which she recovered very quick). she had thought i was joking and that if she lovingly nags me little, i will cave in.
i didn't cave in because i'm a person who knows my limit and how to keep my word. i've massaged her legs, just the way i do, every single night but i have not touched her arms. she has been coaxing me a lot, fake cries and all that, saying how she will not be able to sleep if i don't massage her arms. she is acting like such a child, it's ridiculous. she is almost gaslighting me too by saying some other things and tbh i don't care. i have told her no matter what happens tonight, i am not doing this. i'm doing this for her own good so that SHE can recover NOT ME. she may stay mad at me for as long as she wants, i will stand my ground.
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monkeymeghan · 2 years ago
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I think my physical therapist is trying to kill me. 😂 Seriously, though she’s really happy with all of the progress that I’ve made. She’s added a ton of new, more difficult, things for me this week. I just got home and I am completely wiped out. But I know it’s necessary work to get my range of motion back and to get rid of the pain.
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depresseddepot · 1 year ago
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don't know how to describe it without metaphors. audhd feels like I have 10 strings hooked into my body pulling me in opposite directions and leaning towards one string to try and "fix" that problem (cooking, cleaning, classwork, etc) just makes the other strings pull tighter and hurt more. this point of this whole post is to explain that when I see someone older than me who also struggles with exactly the same things to the same extent that I do, it makes a couple of those strings loosen and stop pulling. not forever, because they always start pulling again, but having the expectation lifted of needing to have a "normal functioning life" by age whatever is so nice. everything still hurts but for now at least that part of my brain can rest.
#i understand how the reverse can seem too#but idk. its always been such a weight off my shoulders#probably in part for selfish reasons but it helps me like. slow down#like i cannot solve all of my problems tonight. i probably can't even solve them in the next 20 years#so i can slow down. other people are alive like this. other people make their lives work like this. i can do it too#i need to be medicated so fucking badly but i can't until im off my parents health insurance#and even then im so scared it'll make my autism symptoms harder for me to deal with and ill like. lose my job or something#but i can't fucking live like this so idk what to do! lmao!#ive been trying to pay closer attention to my anxiety and stress lately so i can pinpoint causes and like. try to stop them#but all ive learned is that i am never Not stressed.#if my room is cleaned im not eating well. if im exercising well im not cleaning well.#if im on top of classwork im not taking care of myself at all. etc etc#it is always a push and pull. i can't just solve these problems#because i have to clean well and eat well and exercise often and sleep well and cook often and socialize often and work hard and save money#and and and#im always not doing something to make room for something else and bc of that i will ALWAYS have those strings pulling me so tightly it hurts#i know in my head how i can loosen the strings but that all comes at the expense of living like a ''normal'' person#i will have a dirty house. i will have lots of canned and frozen foods. i will leave my house for work only.#im so tired my bones hurt. my strings are tight again and classes are starting again soon and my room is a mess and i ate like shit today#and i havent excersized in a while and im not showering as often as i should and im drinking too much and im sleeping too much#im so tired#vent#sorry#i feel like i need to curl up and die. like my body is sending some signal that there isn't much more i can fucking take#and that this continuous pushing and struggling and picking up the pieces is worthless#i feel like that blood robot. im old and rusted and slowing down and i have achieved nothing#i will die having not achieved anything and i will be struggling until my very last second#i shouldn't have been the twin that survived. they would have been so much better than this
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rajmangalhospital · 3 months ago
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Understanding Frozen Shoulder: Its Impact on Daily Life and Activities
Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Frozen shoulder, medically termed adhesive capsulitis, is a debilitating condition characterized by stiffness, pain, and limited range of motion in the shoulder joint. While it might sound like a minor inconvenience, those who suffer from it understand the profound impact it can have on daily life and activities. In this blog, we delve into the intricacies of frozen shoulder, exploring its causes, symptoms, diagnosis, and most importantly, how it disrupts various aspects of daily life. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
What is a Frozen Shoulder?
A frozen shoulder occurs when the connective tissue surrounding the shoulder joint becomes thickened and tight. This leads to restricted movement and severe pain. While the exact cause is often unknown, certain factors such as injury, surgery, diabetes, or prolonged immobility can increase the risk of developing this condition.
Symptoms of Frozen Shoulder:
The symptoms of a frozen shoulder typically develop gradually, progressing through three distinct stages:
Freezing Stage: In this initial stage, any movement of the shoulder causes pain, and the range of motion gradually becomes limited. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner Frozen Stage: The shoulder stiffness worsens, and the pain may decrease, but the range of motion remains severely restricted. Thawing Stage: During this final stage, the range of motion begins to improve, albeit slowly, and the pain gradually subsides. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Impact on Daily Life and Activities:
1. Difficulty with Basic Tasks: Simple activities like getting dressed, reaching for objects on high shelves or even combing one’s hair become arduous tasks. The limited range of motion and persistent pain make these everyday activities a source of frustration and discomfort. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Impaired Work Performance:
For individuals whose professions require manual labor or frequent use of their arms, a frozen shoulder can significantly impede work performance. Tasks that involve lifting, carrying, or reaching may become impossible or extremely painful, leading to decreased productivity and potential absenteeism. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Disrupted Sleep:
The pain and discomfort associated with a frozen shoulder often worsen at night, making it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. Sleep disturbances can further exacerbate fatigue and mood disturbances, impacting overall quality of life. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Social Limitations:
Engaging in social activities that involve physical movements, such as sports or dancing, may no longer be feasible for those with frozen shoulders. The fear of exacerbating pain or causing further injury can lead to social withdrawal and feelings of isolation. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Emotional Toll:
Living with chronic pain and physical limitations can take a significant emotional toll on individuals with frozen shoulder. Feelings of frustration, helplessness, and depression are common as they struggle to perform even the most basic tasks of daily living.
Coping Strategies:
While coping with a frozen shoulder can be challenging, some strategies can help individuals manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life:
Physical Therapy: Gentle stretching and strengthening exercises prescribed by a physical therapist can help improve flexibility and range of motion in the shoulder joint.
Pain Management: Over-the-counter pain relievers or prescription medications may be recommended to alleviate discomfort associated with a frozen shoulder. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Heat and Cold Therapy: Applying heat or cold packs to the affected shoulder can help reduce inflammation and relieve pain.
Activity Modification: Adjusting daily activities to minimize strain on the shoulder joint can help prevent exacerbation of symptoms. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Supportive Devices: Using assistive devices such as slings or braces can provide additional support to the shoulder joint and alleviate discomfort.
Seeking Professional Help:
It’s essential for individuals experiencing symptoms of a frozen shoulder to seek prompt medical attention. A healthcare provider can perform a thorough evaluation, make an accurate diagnosis, and develop an individualized treatment plan tailored to the patient’s specific needs. Shoulder pain treatment in Baner
Conclusion:
Frozen shoulder is not just a physical ailment; it’s a condition that can profoundly impact every aspect of daily life. From simple tasks to social interactions, its effects ripple through various facets of existence, causing pain, frustration, and emotional distress. However, with proper management and support, individuals can navigate through the challenges posed by the frozen shoulder and reclaim their quality of life. Remember, seeking professional help and adopting coping strategies are crucial steps toward alleviating the burden of this debilitating condition.
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doctorenzoyeh · 5 months ago
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Title: How to Use a Cane to Stretch Your Shoulder
Today I want to show you 3 Simple exercises using a dowel (a stick) to stretch your shoulder. You could also use a cane, a broomstick, a mop, or even an umbrella.
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divinecarephysio · 1 year ago
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eff4freddie · 3 months ago
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Physical Therapy
Joel Miller x AFAB Reader No Outbreak AU - 4.4k words
For @punkshort's AU August challenge, in celebration of her one year Tumblr anniversary!
A.N: My prompt was 'lifeguard Joel' and I'm nursing a bit of a sore wrist at the moment, hence whatever this is was born. Thanks for the fun prompt! I would very much like Joel to save me from drowning now, please and thank you.
Warnings: None.
It had just started out as a kind of tickling feeling around behind your ear on your left side, and down along the back to the shoulder blade. When you’d first noticed it you’d thought you had a hair stuck under your shirt, and all day you kept reaching up under your bra strap to try and free it. Later, you would rub the skin red trying to lift the phantom follicle from your skin.
Later, it developed into a coldness, punctuated sometimes with ants marching up and down your shoulder blade. Your clavicle ached in cold weather, and you rolled your shoulders of a morning to try and shake the weird sensations from the joint. You were too busy to worry about it, you had too many deadlines, you could just type with your left arm resting on a pad of paper to elevate it. You knew you’d been working too hard on your paper for your next research symposium. As soon as it was over you’d deal with it.
When it started thrumming of a nighttime you’d just take ibuprofen to dull it, numb it off with a heat pack and an occasional glass of whiskey. But when it got too hard to type, when the daggers started shooting down your arm to the point that you could barely get your sleeve over it, when your shoulder was so frozen you couldn’t lift it over your head to brush your hair, you conceded defeat.
Your physiotherapist was lovely, and young, and fit, and you wished you could hate her. She ran marathons on weekends, on purpose and apparently without having first been threatened, and she gave you a bunch of exercises you promised you would do, made you pay $24.95 for a bit of stretchy rubber you could tie to your doorknob and stretch with, a couple of strength building exercises printed out and folded neatly, which you immediately threw on your coffee table and used as a coaster.
You went twice a week after work. She massaged you until you had tears in your eyes, biting back the pain by clamping down on your back teeth. You lied to her that you’d done your stretches, and she let you, because she was a nice person. Your recovery stalled, and you both pretended not to know why.
In the end, you just got fed up with yourself. You’d had to push back your presentation at the symposium, had found it too painful to sit at your desk for the long stretches it would take to be prepared. Your supervisor had insisted you take time off, that your PhD could be extended, and you had balked at the idea and then, eventually, conceded that too. Your stupid frozen shoulder was icing out everything in your life you cared about. You suggested to your physio you might like to swim.
--
It had been a while since you’d been in a bathing suit. Glad you’d at least thought to shave, you went into the change room dreading coming out again. You’d deliberately gone at 2 PM on a Tuesday afternoon, figuring the only people there would be either 100 years old or ladened with babies, and their bodies wouldn’t be so threatening to yours. You remembered a time when your body had felt strong, when your legs had carried you around European cities, up and down mountains. You wondered where that girl went.
You were a careful person, and you liked rules, so you shuffled as speedily as you could towards the pool, careful not to run. Your brother had slipped once, aged 9 and a half, and knocked out two of his teeth when he went down. Your mother had to wait three months to get them fixed, having to save up the fee, and your brother had whistled slightly on windy mornings. You’d teased him about it, and you felt bad about it now, holding your arm tight to your body so as not to jostle your shoulder.
The water was cool, and you took the stairs one at a time to get yourself into it. You gasped when it reached your belly, reaching down to splash yourself to try and acclimatise. It wasn’t an especially warm day, but the sun was out and it was warm enough on your skin. You sunk down, feeling the water lap at your shoulder. The relief was immediate, the cool spreading over your strangled nerves, and you let out a sigh. You didn’t think you were about to swim any laps, but it was enough to bob around in the shallow end and feel the water carry your weight. Your mind was quiet for the first time in a while. You watched two birds glide on the breeze, ducking down to skim over the surface. You hoped they didn’t shit in it as they passed.
Then, a giggle. A tittering, high-pitched thing that shattered your reverie and made you turn towards it, a scowl on your face as you looked up into the sun. A woman in a high-cut bikini straight out of the 80s was standing at the base of the lifeguard’s chair, looking up at the man sitting atop it. She was practically drooling, flipping her hair and nearly slipping out of her top. You couldn’t make him out, the glare casting him in darkness and too proud to shield your eyes with your hand to get a good look. She had all her weight on one foot so she could thrust her hip out and her chest up. You heard his voice rumble out of his chest, deep and heavy and surprisingly kind. You couldn’t make out the words. You reminded yourself you didn’t care.
--
Your physio was proud of you, and you wanted to hate her for that, too. You reported your attendance at the pool, lied about doing your exercises, and paid another $24.95 for another rubber band thing after you pretended you’d misplaced the first one. You knew exactly where it was, on the doorknob where you’d tied it the first night and then ignored it. But it was a good, if expensive, excuse.
The next time you went to the pool you chose a time slightly earlier in the day, hoping that the midday sun might tan you a little as you rehabilitated. You bobbed around again in the shallow end, experimentally rolling your shoulders and moving your arms in small semi-circles in front of you. The water carried the weight so you could just focus on moving the joint, and when the ache set in you could just float there, let the water carry you completely as you floated on the surface. With your face to the sky and the sun beating down the whole world turned bright and colourless. It sanded down the sharp edges, turned the detail to pulsing fuzz on your retinas.
80’s Bikini Lady didn’t resurface, but you got out when an entire class of 4th graders arrived for their swimming lessons. As you went for your towel you heard that rumbling voice again, booming out over the top of 20 excited kids, instructing them to quiet down so he could teach them to tread water. You wondered if that was what you were doing now, your research and your thesis gathering metaphoric dust on your laptop. Treading water.
--
It took you until your fifth visit to try an actual lap. Your shoulder had been feeling lighter, the joint freeing itself under the water just enough that you could bear the weight of the it as you moved. You had been experimenting with little half breaststrokes, just two or three with your head high over the water and only deep enough that you could plant your feet at the first twinge of pain. But you wanted to try something different, today. You wanted to make it down to the other end, even if you had to grip the lane rope and pull yourself there.
You felt eyes on you as you walked to the edge, and you turned quickly to see the lifeguard was at his station. It was early enough in the afternoon that you could see him properly, his aquiline nose, his curls unruly and chocolate brown. He nodded at you, an acknowledgement that he was keeping watch, and you nodded back to him. It was just you and a man in his 60s in the pool today.
You hissed a little as you descended the stairs, feeling goosebumps rise on your skin. Today it was cloudy, and the water was cooler than you had been expecting, and you worried for a moment it would be bad for your shoulder somehow, that your muscles would be less malleable, less cooperative, in the cold. You swallowed, wondering if you really wanted to do this today. Then you remembered your thesis, and the way you had thrown yourself on dancefloors, in spin classes, ridden boys in your dorm room like your hips would never ache. You wanted that girl back. She was at the other end of the pool.
You pushed off, holding your arms straight out in front of you and using your feet against the wall of the pool to propel yourself forward, letting the momentum drift you the first few feet. With a brave breath in you spread your arms wide in a breaststroke, kicking with your legs to keep up some sort of speed. Three strokes, then four, then five and you were nearly a quarter of the way down the pool already. You just had to keep breathing, stick with it, pace yourself out. You cupped the water with your hands, pushing it away from your chest as you moved. There might have been a little twinge, but you banished any worry. You were doing it, if slowly, if gingerly.
You swam over the point where the bottom of the pool fell away, past the point where you could stand. The water felt cooler, the depth of it stealing some of the warmth, and you felt a little warning tingle up your elbow. Your neck pulled a little to the right to try and dodge the pain, and you faltered a little, lost some of your rhythm. In your surprise you’d opened your mouth and taken in a little bit of water, and you spluttered.
Suddenly your arms were out of sequence, and you were struggling to bring them back together in front of you while kicking with your legs. They felt uncooperative, like they were on different strings, and you were finding it hard to keep your neck bent up high enough to keep your face out of the water completely. You jerked to try and regain your momentum, and sent an electric shock through your shoulder, pain spreading out all the way down to your wrist. You gasped, the pain making you pull your arm into your body, trying to cradle it against your chest, and you started floundering, your nose and mouth dropping beneath the surface as you struggled to stay upright. You swatted at the surface of the water with your good arm, panic in your chest, as you tried to figure out if it was better to turn and head back to the shallows or carry on to the other end.
You heard a splash behind you, a huff of air as a body broke the surface and then an arm around your waist.
‘I’ve got you,’ he said, and you leant back into the warm body behind you, trying to suck in air.
‘My shoulder, my arm,’ you cried, keeping it tucked against you as the lifeguard pulled you to where you could stand. You gasped, choking a little on water but mostly just from shock, your face burning red with humiliation and the pain of your throbbing collarbone. ‘I’m sorry,’ you said, suddenly feeling like you wanted to cry, as you caught your breath, the man still holding you gently around the waist and leaning down to study your face.
‘You’re OK, you’re OK,’ he said, his voice like warm honey as it oozed over the panic in your brain. ‘Take a breath, I’ve got you.’
Oh fuck, you were definitely going to cry if he kept being so nice to you. You felt heat in the back of your eyes, bit down on your bottom lip so he couldn’t see it wobbling.
‘I just wanted to swim a lap,’ you said, and you could hear the desperation in it, feeling as small as a child.
‘You injured?’ he asked, and you nodded. He tugged you further towards the shallow end, led you by the good arm over to the steps.
‘My physio said exercise would help it,’ you explained, throwing her soundly under the bus. ‘I just…I thought I was ready.’ You felt the frustration bubbling over. You had a terrible habit of getting teary when you were mad. ‘It’s just been so shit, and I wanted to…I just don’t even know this body anymore, you know?’ you complained, wincing when you realised you’d just trauma dumped on him.
‘Can’t rush these things,’ he said, unfazed. ‘Gotta take it at your own pace.’ Standing up in this part of the pool the water only came to his waist, and he gestured to his belly where a jagged scar punctured his left side.
‘Jesus,’ you said, at the sight of it and also realising for the first time he was shirtless, water running in rivulets down his golden skin. He was so broad it was no wonder he’d managed to get to you in the centre of the pool in all of three strokes. You felt yourself start to tremble, and you weren’t sure it was from shock.
You’d known, of course, that he was handsome. You had eyes, after all. But up close, standing over you, hair slicked back as his brown eyes roamed your face for any sign of distress…up close, he was devastating.
‘Joel,’ he said, holding out his hand, and you took it, awkward and shy. He told you he liked your name when you mumbled it to him, and you realised he was very good at his job. You wondered where you could find an 80s bikini.
‘Thank you, Joel,’ you said, when your heart had finally settled back into its normal rhythm. ‘I’m sorry you had to…’
‘Trust me, pulling beautiful women out of the deep end is not the hard part of my job,’ he said, and then you watched as his eyes widened, like he was only just realising what he’d said, and you felt heat crawl up your cheeks.
You wanted to ask him what the hard part was. You restrained yourself, because you’d been humiliated enough for one day.
--
You skipped your next session at the pool, instead using the rubber stretchy thing to try and elongate the joint. It didn’t feel as good, and you nearly snapped it into your face more than once, and you definitely didn’t think about Joel’s golden skin glistening in the sunlight the entire time you did it. You didn’t think about his arm banding around you as he pulled you to safety, not even a little bit. The rubber thing was fine. It was going to solve all your problems.
--
You hated the fucking rubber stretchy thing. For one, it smelled like condoms but in a weirdly stale kind of way, and for two you were fairly sure it was going to rip your door off its hinges in your crappy little apartment, and you really didn’t want to have to call your landlord when that happened. It might mean you’d have to tidy up.
Also, it was late Spring and pretty soon school would be out, and the pool would be heaving, and so you had to get your shoulder back to normal as soon as possible before the place got flooded with kids. The bikini you fished out from behind a bunch of old clothes in the back of your closet was so that you could move your shoulder more freely. You were being pragmatic. You were planning ahead.
It was hotter again, the warmth of summer encroaching, and you were genuinely relieved to see the sparkling, clear water when you arrived on the pool deck. You walked, head held high and chest out just a little, past the lifeguard chair, studiously not looking but also really trying to look. You spent an extra few seconds fishing around in your back for your sunscreen, trying to steady your pulse. When you swivelled around, preparing to smear it over yourself, you glanced over at the chair.
Unless Joel had aged 20 years in the week since you’d been, and gained forty pounds and lost all of his hair, he was not on shift today. You felt yourself deflate, your shoulders slumping, your left collarbone sending out a thrum of pain in warning.
It was probably for the best, of course. You were here to do rehab. This was serious medical stuff.
You didn’t want to hazard another lap, not with Beergut McBaldALot on patrol, so you floated a bit in the shallow end and practiced making circles with your arms. You were stiff, having taken a week off to whip yourself up into a pointless frenzy over the lifeguard. The water eased some of the tension in the muscle, and you once again felt your mind start to still.
You wondered if, on his down time, Joel preferred board shorts or speedos. You couldn’t imagine him in a full banana hammock – you could, but you didn’t want to – but you wondered if he was a Daniel-Crag-In-His-First-Bond-Movie-When-He-Emerges-From-The-Ocean-Booty-Shorts kind of guy. That didn’t feel right either, though. His work uniform was boardies, and you decided that Joel was the type of guy who just wore them on his own time anyway, because they fit and they were on hand. As for what was going on underneath them. Well, that was something else entirely.
As you bobbed in the water you imagined his strong arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest and letting you rest your head on his broad, tanned shoulder. You wondered if you’d be able to feel his heartbeat on your cheek, if that close you could hear his tight little exhales as he glided you through the water, held you up so that you could finally, finally let go. You sighed a little to yourself, drifting in the middle of the pool and hoping no one had any plans to swim any laps. You let your hair trail out behind you as you drifted, imagined the slight pull of the water was his fingers threading through.
--
You weren’t hungry but you had nothing at home, so you stopped off at the grocery store on the way home, your shoulder feeling better for having had a little bit of movement. Sleepy from the warmth of the sun and your weightlessness, you barely noticed the man standing at the end of the cereal aisle until you were tripping over him, his arm shooting out to catch you before you could really, properly fall.
‘Ooof,’ he exclaimed, and you knew that voice, felt the furious rush of blood to your cheeks as you righted yourself and were met with the same warm, brown eyes.
‘We really must stop meeting like this,’ he said, smiling down at you, and he was just as beautiful on dry land as he was submerged. You felt your hands start to tremble and you worried you’d drop your basket.
‘Joel,’ you said, trying to hide the comingling shame and excitement on your face. ‘You look different when you’re wet.’
Murder you. End it now. It would simply be kinder.
Joel, to his credit, just laughed a little.
‘Hair’s a lot fluffier,’ he said, reaching up to tug at it and making you want to chew on your own fist.
‘There’s that,’ you said, your voice oddly strangled.
‘You breakfast shoppin’ at 4 in the afternoon?’ he asked, gesturing to the cereal box in your hands.
‘Dinner, actually,’ you said, strangely proud at your sheer level of disfunction. ‘Ever since my shoulder, cooking hasn’t really been…’
You trailed off. Your mom had sent over a couple of frozen lasagnes, and you’d worked your way through those in a week. For a while you got dinners delivered but it got expensive, and then worst, it got boring. Before all of this started there were some nights you’d been so engrossed in your thesis you’d forgotten to get dinner at all. You missed those nights, too. To be so distracted.
‘How’s the arm?’ he asked, and you realised you were cradling it again, holding it fast against your side.
‘It’s slow, and I’m trying to be patient,’ you said, honestly, and his brows saddled. He hummed in thought, pouting his lips out a little. You fought every atom in your body not to lean forward and pull them between your teeth.
‘Your physio given you exercises?’ he asked, and you nodded, avoiding his gaze. ‘You doin’ em?’ he asked, and you were suddenly really interested in the nutritional content of your Cheerios. He snickered out a laugh. ‘No one ever does ‘em.’
‘You speaking from experience?’ you asked, and he smiled.
‘I used to…well, not a physio but I did a little personal training, and uh…basically unless I was there barkin’ at ‘em no-one did what they were told.’
Bark at me, you thought. I’ll do anything you say.
You coughed, trying to collect yourself. Fuck, he was beautiful, but you realised what you liked most was just the warmth in his face, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. You trusted him, you realised. You didn’t know him, and you trusted him.
‘I’m pretty sure my physio knows I’m lying to her,’ you confessed, and he smiled.
‘She definitely does,’ he agreed.
‘I’m otherwise a very honest person,’ you added.
‘I have no doubt,’ he said, with a little twinkle in his eye that made you want to gouge the things out so you didn’t have to deal with them torturing you anymore.
Instead, you looked into his basket and saw kale, a bunch of carrots and a carton of eggs. You grimaced.
‘Please tell me you’re not on a cleanse or some shit,’ you said, and he smiled.
‘Nah, you got me just before I headed over to the candy aisle.’
‘You like candy?’ you asked, and he grinned.
‘Got a sweet tooth,’ he confessed.
‘Name your poison.’
‘Reece’s. The umm…the cups.’
‘The cups. A peanut butter man?’
‘Yes ma’am,’ he said, that southern drawl appearing again. You felt it hit you like a bullseye in your core. You wondered what else you could get him to agree to.
‘A man of taste,’ you said. You were flirting over grocery items and you didn’t fucking care. You would banter about the phone book if he kept grinning with his whorish little dimples out.  ‘Thank you for helping me out the other day,’ you said, and he shrugged.
‘S’my job,’ he said, and you shook your head at him, swishing your hands in front of you as if you could push his humbleness aside.
‘Yeah, but you chose that job, and I’m glad that you did,’ you said, simply. ‘It’s a generous thing, putting yourself on the line for someone else.’
‘Always been a kind of protector,’ he said, almost to himself.
‘I can see that,’ you replied, honestly, and he turned his gaze to you, considering you for a moment. ‘Although I guess a lot of the time it’s just watching people splash around.’
‘Ain’t hard to watch some people,’ he said, gazing down at you, his jaw muscle twinging a little.  You felt your stomach do a silly little flip.
‘No?’ you asked, your throat dry.
‘Mmm-mmm,’ he said, shaking his head but not breaking eye contact. You wanted to grab his broad, golden shoulders and hitch your thighs over them. You wanted to reach up and take his curls in your fingers, pull him onto his knees and his mouth to your nipple, let him nibble where they pebbled. You wanted to drown the gorgeous fucker, just for being so pretty he was setting your brain on fire.
For a second the two of you stared at each other, trying to pretend the sparks weren’t flying.
‘That can’t be dinner,’ he said, after a while, and you realised he was talking again about your cereal.
‘I could get some grown up muesli if that would make you happy,’ you offered.
‘Wouldn’t want you to get malnourished, come by the pool and drown from lack of…vitamins,’ he finished.
‘Lack of vitamins?’ you teased, and he blushed.
‘Can’t have you wastin’ away on me.’
‘So, you’re saying I have to eat the muesli for your benefit?’ you asked, and he shook his head.
‘No breakfast for dinner,’ he said. ‘Maybe I can fix you somethin’.’
Your heart stopped, right there in the grocery store, in your flip flops with your hair still wet from the pool.
‘…’ you said, and he finally broke your gaze, finally allowed you to breathe for a second. He looked thoughtful, maybe even a little sorry.
‘Not professional of me to ask out the patrons,’ he said, after a while.
‘Do you work at the grocery store?’,’ you asked, bolder than you were feeling. He moved closer towards you, just a half-step, so that you could feel his breath ghosting over your face.
‘If I gave you some exercises, would you do ‘em?’ he asked, his voice so low it came straight from the Devil himself. You felt the jolt of want spear between your legs.
‘My physio might get jealous,’ you said, and he grinned.
‘As your lifeguard I feel like it’s my duty to overrule, baby,’ he said. He lifted a hand to your bad shoulder, holding it gently, supporting the joint. You sighed a little, the extra support releasing some of the pressure from the tendon.
‘If you think it’s that serious,’ you whispered, as you leant in towards him, his mouth hovering just out of reach of yours. ‘Life and death.’
‘I’m afraid I might,’ he replied.
His lips tasted like coffee and sunshine. You lifted your arms to rest them on his shoulders. There was not a single twinge.
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beelmons · 1 year ago
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I have a filthy idea and I love your blog sorry
Hotch x reader x Early seasons!Spencer (or really any older BAU with reader and Spencer, someone has to show him the ropes, right?😩)
Reader is bound and blindfolded. Hotch is trailing a popsicle over reader's skin, showing Spencer where they are most sensitive and Spencer licks the trail of sticky syrup left behind. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️(lord have mercy I'm a whore)
A/N: Ok so, i really got into this idea and i ended up doing WAY too much and i'm sorry it's so late but i got too excited. anyways, have this monstruosity.
A different kind of teacher
cw: sensory deprivation (hand binding, blindfold, noise-cancelling headphones), threesome, temprature play (use of frozen goods), fellatio, fem!reader, implied polyamory i guess
word count: 1,996 (on accident)
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"I don't think that's—" Spencer tried to interrupt when his boss's actions got questionable.
"It's alright." Hotch answered as he gently tied the blindfold behind your head "She's done this before. I told you, if you’re going to learn how to please her, you’re going to do it my way."
"But that's—" he tried to argue again.
"Reid." Aaron said commandingly.
Their bickering was rather amusing, really. Everything about this situation was. A love-struck puppy, namely Spencer, that had found  out you were having an affair, for a lack of a better word, with your boss. Who was later given the odd offer to join in, one that he barely comprehended the dynamic of. The one he ended up accepting because having half of you was better than having none.
The situation in question was no other than your bare body binded to a sex sofa, yes, the one with a funny oval-like shape, in the middle of a street motel. Mind you, a high category one, courtesy of a very spoiling unit chief. Hands tied behind the furniture, a blindfold securely tied against your eyes, and a pair of sound-canceling headphones that would be eventually put on you. 
“I don’t think I can do this.” the younger man confessed. 
His superior shot him a glare, and his finger raised to press against his own lips, indicating the other to keep quiet. He then proceeded to place the aforementioned gadget against your ears to muffle the sounds. 
“You can’t let your nerves overtake you.” Aaron began to talk, walking closer to the chair where Spencer was sitting “Otherwise, you won’t enjoy yourself. And believe me, she wants you to have as much fun as she does.” 
“I just have never done something remotely similar.” he admitted. 
“And that’s okay, that’s why I’m here to guide you.” Hotch patted him on the shoulder, prompting him to stand up, to which Reid complied. 
As the older man directed himself to the cooler, included with the room by the way, Spencer stood awkwardly next to where you were laying. Regardless of his statements about the situation, the twitching of his dick as he watched you breathing, rather heavily, blissfully ignorant of the sinful deeds they were about to do to you, was giving away just how much into it he was. 
“You should learn to use your tongue first.” the boss interrupted his train of thought “We’re going to do a little exercise, okay? I’ll trail this over her skin, her most sensitive spots. Clean her up. You have to be thorough, she doesn’t like feeling sticky.” 
You were absolutely deprived of such supportive conversation, or anything else for that matter. It was exciting in and on itself to be expectant of what would happen next, along with no indication whatsoever of what that would be. Two, insanely hot, men having you at their entire disposal was certainly arousing. 
Such anticipation caused you to moan rather loudly when you felt a cold object hit the side of your neck, slowly melting down towards the base, the feeling only lasted a couple of seconds since it was shortly after contrasted with the warm sensation of what you figured was a tongue following the strip. 
It was quick. It left your skin as soon as it came.
The lack of attention, though, would not last long. You felt a new sting of coldness, only this time it was right over your breast; instead of dripping down, the same tool, whatever it was, moved downwards until it reached your nipple. You could feel it going slightly numb from the temperature, it was making your stomach tighten. Again, you felt it part and something a lot hotter took its place. This time, you could easily tell who was taking advantage of your breasts by the bony structure of the fingers. 
Spencer was ravishing on the sweet taste of the icicle mixed with the salty notes of your sweat. His tongue was eager and clumsy, but pleasurable nonetheless, his fingers gentle and attentive to the sides of the skin, holding back to not let his animalistic side just come out. 
“That’s good.” Hotch praised the young man “It’s all about not knowing what to expect. About surprising her with sudden pleasure.” 
Back in your deprived state, you were simply squirming with delight at how your chest was being treated, mouth slightly agape to allow soft sounds of pleasure to escape. The gap was tempting for one of the men, still unknown to you, to defile, and suddenly you felt something land over your lips. You recognized the mixture of freezing water and sugar, and your tongue instinctively darted out to take a lick. 
The treat instead began to lewdly penetrate your mouth, simulating a fellatio, and the length of it would teasingly near the back of your throat each time. 
The icicle departed promptly, leaving your lips parted and tingly from the coldness, expectant to be inserted again. Instead, the temperature of the new foreign object was the complete opposite, its structure soft to an extent, and salty in flavor. It didn't take you long to notice it was no longer the sugary dessert, but one of your partners' cock.
"Go slow at first, it takes her a second to get used to it." Hotch dragged a hand behind your head, pushing forward gently so you could get more of his shaft into your mouth “But she can take it very well.” 
His fingers trailed over your scalp lovingly. His moans were translated in heavy, airy exhales through his nose. He was obviously playing tough for Spencer, no matter how much your mouth actually disarranged him on the daily. He thrusted a couple more times, until he was fully hard, before he pulled out. 
He made a signal with his hand to indicate the younger to take over, and Reid swallowed back a knot of nervousness. He awkwardly cupped your head between his palms and allowed his tip to testingly land on your tongue. He shuddered with pleasure as your lips hungrily wrapped around it, hollowing your cheeks almost immediately. 
You could tell the member had changed simply by the shape. Leaner girth, more swollen head, and an almost desperate way of moving. He started doubtfully at first, and later his pace began to pick up. His grip on your head was tight, making you unable to move away, and with every push he would reach deeper into your mouth, and the pulsations on his veins would also have a stronger beat. 
Spencer was losing it, mouth parted open, head thrown back, desperate whines spilling from his throat. His inexperience was his biggest enemy, because he didn’t last much inside of you. When he started to feel his orgasm coming, he decided to pull away. His fist curled around his shaft, pumping the base at a rapid speed, his tip pointing to his own stomach, since, to him, coming inside your mouth seemed dirty, almost too humiliating. 
Hotch stared with amusement at how respectful he was being, rookie mistake, he figured. Too overwhelmed with his own pleasure, Spencer had his eyes fully shut, and became absolutely unaware of the second Aaron gently placed his fingers over the moving hand, pushing it down to aim the tip towards your mouth. 
You simply waited for the inevitable, the white strings landing on your tongue, salty and thick, and a lot more than you had expected. When you were sure no more would come out, you attempted to swallow, but before you could close your mouth a thumb invaded it, keeping it open. 
“Watch this magic trick.” Aaron showed Spencer the evidence of his release before shutting your mouth again. 
You took the hint and swallowed, immediately opening your mouth once again to show no trace of the substance left. 
Spencer had to bring a hand to his face to hide his blush, although his again half-hard dick gave him away. 
“That’s actually really hot.” he said shyly, brows furrowed in embarrassment. 
“It is.” Hotch smiled in his direction “Now that you’ve come, it’s just natural to return the favor, don’t you agree?” 
The older man directed himself again to the cooler, taking now a single ice cube that he held with a piece of clothing to avoid getting frostbite. 
“Your training isn’t over yet.” he told Spencer once he was back to your side “Next, let’s get you a real challenge. If one drop of this cube gets on the sofa, you don’t get to touch her the rest of the night.” 
“W-What? Isn’t that a bit harsh?” he complained. 
“If you make her cum before it fully melts,” Hotch ignored the protest “You can fuck her first.” 
Again, your senses were too limited to hear their bet being formed. During their exchanges you just waited patiently, eager to know what would come next. Every once in a while, when the cool air hit you, you tensed up expecting something to happen, and even when it didn’t you just got more excited. 
At last, another sting of coldness hit your skin, this time it was further to the south, just above your clit. You could feel the object slowly melting, the lack of heat spreading to your bundle of nerves, your labia, and almost to your entrance. It was mildly uncomfortable, but exciting nonetheless. 
Out of a sudden, you felt a muscle enter you. You bolted in ecstasy due to finally getting much needed friction on your lower body. It trailed up, slowly and steady, until it reached the top. The lips rounded your sensitive nub, and you could feel them suck on it. The sensation was overwhelming, making you twist over the sofa, shameless erotic moans filling up the room. 
The water kept making its way down your sex, and the tongue diligently prevented it from reaching all the way to the leather, driving you insane with each lap at it. Your hands struggled against the binds that tied you down. You wanted nothing more than to hold his head down and bury it against you, to have him flush against your entrance, just licking you over and over again. 
A hand landed on your head, indicating that you should keep your movements to yourself. The commanding ambience just added to your stimulation, the mouth down your body sucking the neverending stream of water as if trying to lick it dry. Your thighs attempted to close around his head, and you were finally able to grind against him. For some reason, that did it for you, and you allowed your climax to reach you, and your fluids to come out. 
“Impressive.” Hotch praised as he removed the ice cube from your body. 
Spencer, however, did not stop, his tongue moving ruthlessly against your entrance, absolutely drunk on your taste. Aaron could see you squirm uncomfortably, being pushed to a point of overstimulation, hands restlessly clinging onto nothing in an attempt to release the slight pain on your abused clit. 
“Reid.” he called trying to make him stop; the younger man, however, was entranced by your pussy, and did not react to the mention of his name. Hotch was forced to step closer, tangle his fingers on the blond’s hair, and pull his head back by tugging on his locks, forcing him away from you “Behave. There’s plenty of time for more later.” 
He spoke so sternly that it sent shivers down Spencer’s spine, almost as he did during work cases. He nodded with compliance and straightened himself again. 
“Sorry.” Reid ashamedly said. 
“It’s alright. I know how addicting it can be.” while talking, he rummaged through a go-bag he had brought earlier into the room. “Now,” he tossed a condom towards Spencer “Get ready for lesson number two.”
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roshni99 · 11 months ago
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rapunzelbro · 10 months ago
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Imagine Angel Dust Accidentally Hurting You And Having a Break Down
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Hi! Enjoy this angst fic sorry not sorry. This dude has my absolute heart and I ugh. Gimme all the requests for him.
Masterlist Taglist
Angel Dust is never one to be violent by any means
Dude is one of the sweetest and traumatized demons in all of hell he wouldn’t want to hurt a soul
So when he comes back late to the hotel hurt and in an annoyed state you’re surprised as hell
But you don’t expect him to lash out at you
Let alone back you into a wall yelling about how he is fine, when you try to ask what’s wrong
He slams his fist into your shoulder on accident, when he meant to hit the wall
He instantly is frozen when he hears the noise of his fist colliding with your shoulder at full force before it did hit the wall
“Shit shit shit shit fuck! FUCK! THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN”
He is instantly so terrified, he starts breaking down right there, tears falling as he hits the floor, practically hyperventilating
While you’re in pain, you feel if you show it, it will only make it worse. But holy shit that dude has quite the punch.
You quickly stepping into action to help calm him down
It takes so so long but through breathing exercises you help him collect himself
You two are on the floor together silent as can be, his head is buried in your lap while he is still crying, he doesn’t want to look up he is so so terrified if he does you’ll start screaming at him.
“Angel, I hope you know I’m not mad..”
“I hurt you.. I never want to hurt you”
“I know you didn’t mean it love.. take your time”
Him looking up at you with tears in his eyes and all you do is smile reassuringly at him as you try your best to wipe the tears from his face
It causes him to cry more that you deal with him throughout all of his bullshit issues he has
You picking him up and taking him back to his room and take care of his injuries he probably got from Valentino
You wanted to murder that fucking asshole so bad for hurting him
He sits and tells you what happened when he finally collects himself and you just listen before giving him the most gentlest hug
You two stay like that for a while. He is so touch starved and loves your touch, he doesn’t want to let go, he doesn’t want to loose you
Him asking you to stay with him for tonight and you gladly stay once you take care of your shoulder
He is beyond guilty and insists on helping instantly
You two fall asleep in each others embrace calmed by being together
Taglist Angel Dust tag list: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @satansmanager @storydays
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fullofbees · 5 months ago
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@pompeiisystem requested: #135 With Beel and a easily flustered mc? Please I'm begging I love the big himbo man with every inch of my heart lol
CW: Talking about masturbation
»»----------► GN!Reader
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“Beel, look how many likes your devilgram photo got!” You cheer, showing the gluttonous demon your phone screen.
The post was meant to be inspirational, in a cheesy influencer way, at Asmo’s suggestion. The first showed Beelzebub before Fangol practice, sitting on a bench in the locker room. One hand is slipping on his cleats while the other shovels chips into his mouth. Swipe left, and you’ll find the after photo; Beel grinning in his sweat-drenched jersey, cheeks rosy from exercise, a towel slung across his shoulders. Nobody knows that he’s smiling because, behind the camera, you’re bribing him with food so he’ll stay still for the picture.
“We eatin’ good tonight, chat. Everyone say thank you Beel for the meal?” He reads aloud, head tilted in confusion.
Your eyes widen as you look back to the screen, noticing the top comment under the post. The replies are filled with equally thirsty comments and very suggestive emojis.
The heat of embarrassment starts at the tip of your ears, making its way down your face and neck. Of course, you agree wholeheartedly with the commenters. Beelzebub has no business being as attractive as he is; solid muscle that could hold you like it was nothing, large hands that are used to stuffing-
The demon interrupts your runaway thoughts, “Wait, what does that one say?” He points to another comment with a crumb-riddled finger.
“Oh! Um,” you hum, willing your eyes to focus on the text, “New... masturbation material...”
When you look at the demon, he is already distracted by the TV - an ad for a local restaurant. He doesn’t seem bothered at all.
“Sorry, are these not... weird to you?”
“Not really,” he says as he opens his next snack, “Everyone needs something to fantasize about.”
Don’t remind me. Too many nights have you spent alone in your bed, hand between your legs, fantasizing about the demon just down the hall from you. Would he be fast and rough, or would he take his time? Would he savor you like a delicacy, or would he devour you whole in his hunger? Why did the image of bruises in the shape of his bite excite you so damn much?
“I suppose you’re right,” you say, scratching the back of your neck. This is not a conversation you ever imagined having, nor did you expect Beel to be so nonchalant about it. Compared to your flustered state - if this were one of Levi’s manga, then blood would be dripping out of your nose right now - Beel is almost statuesque in his composure.
“I’ll be honest: I get off to the thought of you.”
Scratch that; blood would be pouring.
You’d bury your face in your hands if it weren’t for the fact that you’re frozen in shock. Beel’s calm demeanor cracks slightly; a faint blush blossoms on his face as he fidgets, one hand nervously clutching the other’s wrist.
Lips part to break the awkward silence, but your mind is blank, and any words mustered die in your throat. Excitement, lust, and anxiety overwhelm you in waves. The crash comes when your phone clatters to the floor, having slipped from your increasingly sweaty grip.
Both of you react, reaching for the device at your feet. Your fingers brush together, and you must bite your lip to keep yourself in check.
Beel doesn’t move, eyes fixed on the sight of his hand easily dwarfing yours. It isn’t until you clear your throat that he returns to wringing his wrist in worry.
Neither of you speak, yet neither of you leave. You begin to mirror Beel, fingers nervously picking at loose threads hanging from your sleeves. It takes a moment for your heart to settle, for your sinful curiosity to outweigh your apprehension.
Your voice is quiet, but not hesitant when you ask, “What do you think I taste like?”
Beel’s stomach roars in its familiar hunger.
“Will you let me find out?”
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•••✦ ❤ ✦••• Submit A Request | Read on AO3 •••✦ ❤ ✦•••
A/N: Sorry there's no actual smut TvT but I love flirty dialogue that allows your mind to wander ;3
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joshslater · 6 months ago
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"Care to make it more interesting?" the guy said. We were both about the same age, size, and build. Me, a ginger electronics engineer student dedicated to exercise for years, and recently getting serious with bodybuilding, and he, a Latino who obviously didn't skip gym or his meal plan too often. I guess that was why he'd asked me to spot for him at the barbell. He returned the favor and I felt the need to use the same weight as him and do his reps plus one. That led into testosterone fueled adventure hunt through the gym where we one-upped each other on various equipment and exercises. No one else was in there at this hour. Very mature behavior conducive to optimal results, not. We'd likely regret this the rest of the week.
"Interesting how?" We were standing under the pull-up bars.
"Most pull-ups win muscle and size."
"Isn't that always the prize?" I asked.
"I suppose it is. Chin must come above the bar and then the head fully below it for it to count. Are you in?" He held out his hand. I shook it.
"I'm game," and took a small jump up to the bar and started without any hesitation. I could feel fatigue from what we had done previously, but I tuned it out best as I could. He was counting. I came past eight pretty smoothly, but then I started to struggle. I would have hoped to at least would be past twelve by that point. By thirteen I had to really push it to get number fourteen above the bar, but then I had to give up. I felt a bit disappointed, as I normally can go past fifteen, but he should be just as tired as I.
"Strong going," he congratulated and slapped my shoulder. Then he leaped to the bar, also trying to show off, and began. While it didn't look easy for him, I couldn't see him struggling too bad either, rhythmically going up and down, perhaps slowly getting closer to the agreed limit above the bar. "Ten. Eleven. Twelve." His pace didn't falter. "Thirteen. Fourteen." He made a little smirk. "Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen." That last one wasn't perhaps a legal pull-up, but I had already lost. Perhaps he felt it too, so he dropped down to the floor.
"Fuck, I'm tired," he said, no need to pretend anymore. "Well, at least I won. I shall claim my prize," and he grabbed my hand again. Suddenly I was in agony. It felt like the dull day-after-soreness after a particularly grueling gym session, but there was more to it. It felt like I couldn't move anymore, at least not much. I wasn't frozen in place, but my body refused to detach from him, refused from stepping away. I was hot. I could feel droplets of sweat running down my body, and my eyes were watering up, making the entire room hard to see. But I could see that everything was somehow shifting.
Once he let go I felt unsteady, my body still in flames and sore as hell. His face however wasn't in front of me anymore. Instead I stared right into his chest. I looked down at my body. Years worth of work was gone. It was still an athletic body, but all definition in arms and legs were gone. Pecs and shoulders like any track and field student. "What the hell did you do!" I shouted.
"Muscle and size," he said calmly and flexed his now much larger arm. He looked down at me. "Don't worry. Girls like short boys with abs. Boys too I guess."
"Fuck you! Turn me back!"
"Or what? You're going to tell someone a guy you don't know stole your height at the gym?"
He had a point there. If I hadn't just seen it happen it would be completely unbelievable to me too.
"Just be the bigger man," he said and walked towards the showers.
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hannieween · 11 months ago
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stargazing | city lights series | h.js
Joshua should've known the minute he saw you standing outside his door for the first time. Then, maybe he would've gotten the opportunity to make things right with you. But no, he let his hedonistic ways get in the way first. Now, will he get the opportunity to make things right with you?
✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbours with benefits ✮ word count: 17k
↣ part i – part ii – part iii – part iv – navi post – other fics
₊🎧: guilty - taemin ♡︎ | dumb - i.m ♡︎ | say you love me - kai ♡︎ | accident - woodz ♡︎ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!!
✮ warnings: smut with plot, dom joshua, sub reader, big dick joshua, thigh grinding while joshua is on the phone [i love that cliché let me be], fingering (f), multiple unprotected sex scenes, exhibitionism: being heard by others during sex, brat taming: spanking and a bit of edging, oral sex (f), cowgirl, creampies [yes, plural], pet names: pretty, baby, bunny, sweetheart, princess (hers) this is loosely proofread
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part v
Joshua couldn't believe his ears.
He sat there frozen, phone still pressed to his ear. The line had gone dead a minute ago, Jihoon who was on the other side hung up after getting a barely coherent response from Joshua.
He blinked himself back to reality.
Apparently, someone had scouted them from the rock festival a week ago and were in talks with his manager. So Joshua had just learned that Midnight Haze had been picked up to open for a huge band a weekend straight.
Jihoon had called him to confirm the news, and to tell him to get his shit in order to travel overseas.
"Are you alright, bro?" he heard a voice in the distance.
Seokmin was standing in the kitchen, looking out to the living room as he munched on a pop tart.
"Yeah," he breathed, finally getting off the phone. "I'm just shocked, that's it."
"What happened?" his roommate asked slowly, approaching the couch.
"I'm... leaving in a few days," Joshua frowned, the news sinking in. "For a couple of shows."
Seokmin arched his eyebrows in surprise. "Dude, that's awesome!" the younger man slapped his shoulder and squeezed it. "Congrats!"
"Thanks, man," Joshua sighed. "I'm still processing it."
"I can see," Seokmin chuckled lightly.
Joshua checked his phone absentmindedly, he tapped on the conversation he had with you to check if you had read it yet. His knee had started bouncing nervously when he saw he had no reply from you yet. 
Are you pushing him away again?
He got up from the couch and without a word to his roommate he left the apartment and walked straight to the fire exit and went up the stairs.
The rooftop was deserted, as he should've expected. There he stood, breathless and feeling stupid. He was working on his self-deprecating thoughts, but he couldn't help but feel a little dumb as he stepped into the large open space.
It was a special spot, Joshua felt like it was becoming more his thing than yours—given that he rarely saw you in there anymore. So he picked his phone again, and didn't let the several flights of stairs go to waste.
He called his mom, let her know the news. They talked for about an hour, the conversation had moved from the news and turned into a conversation about his life. His mom asked him normal stuff—how he's been, what he's been doing, if he's taking care.
When it was time to hang up, he returned to his apartment with a content smile on his face.
"What are you doing tonight?" his roommate asked, eyeing him cautiously. He'd been doing that the last few days, Joshua didn't know the reason why.
"Uuh, tonight. Tuesday. Nothing, dunno yet. Why?" Joshua sat down on the couch again with a tired sigh. Going up to the rooftop was an incredibly effective exercise.
"Are you interested in going to the aquarium?"
"Aquarium?" he parroted, his attention drawn from his phone. "Uh, yeah. Okay."
"Yeah, I got two tickets for an aquarium night but it turns out that my girl also bought two tickets for another night. So, sharing is caring right?" his roommate smiled sweetly at the brief mention of his girlfriend.
"Oh, oh. I get it," Joshua laughed awkwardly. "Thanks, man."
"So maybe you can take our neighbor for a nice date," he muttered with a cough.
"What?" Joshua choked, eyes widened.
"I know you've been... seeing her. Right?" Seokmin muttered shyly, the tips of his ears glowing brightly red.
"How do you know? Do you even know her?" Joshua asked slowly, not denying anything.
"We've met once. But that's not the point—every time she gets home it's like she whistled and you went running to her," he frowned.
"Did you just compare me to a trained dog, Dk?" Joshua laughed.
"It sounded better in my head. But not only that, I've heard you guys. You're not exactly quiet, and—I mean, how many Joshuas could there be in this city?" Seokmin blinked and looked upward, clearly ashamed of himself.
Joshua scoffed hard. "Sorry about that."
Though he was obviously not sorry.
"Please accept the entrances," Seokmin muttered meekly.
Joshua thought about it for half a minute. "Yeah, okay."
Seokmin exhaled. "I'll send you the link."
"Thanks Dk," Joshua smiled.
"So are you two... dating?" Seokmin asked, a small smile creeping in his face.
"Nope," Joshua replied dryly. "We're just friends."
Seokmin exhaled, leaning back on the sofa. "Wow, okay."
"What?" Joshua frowned.
"It's going to be a little awkward if you're not dating," Seokmin frowned.
Joshua was just about to inquire something back at his roommate when his phone buzzed in his hand.
[16:12 PM] bunny: Can you come over? [16:12 PM] bunny: I'm free now [16:12 PM] bunny: Just let yourself in   [16:12 PM] joshua: omw
He stood from the couch immediately and walked over to the door.
"See?" Seokmin clicked his tongue and sighed. "Just like a whistle."
"Thank you for the tickets, man!" Joshua said quickly as he got out of the apartment.
Joshua opened your apartment door confidently, kicking his shoes off as he closed the door. He already suspected he'd find you in your study, and you were just taking your headphones off and turning in your chair when he walked in.
The room was a great example of the great personality you had: walls covered with bookcases, which housed a lot of your paraphernalia, toys, photos, awards.
It was strange not to see copies of your books with your pen name. Something he meant to inquire about to you later.
"Hi bunny," he muttered warmly.
"Hi there," you stood from your armchair and he was almost taken by surprise when your arms wrapped around his shoulders, dragging him into a needy kiss.
Joshua chuckled in your lips. "Are you horny, princess?"
"Shut up," you sighed, pressing your puffy lips on his again, and again.
Another chuckle was muffled by your mouth, he found it amusing— the times when you were being so needy that you couldn't even talk. You zipped down his hoodie and practically yanked it down his arms.
"Sit," you muttered, Joshua looked at you confused until you pushed him back on the small couch behind him.
Joshua obediently sat on the couch, between your small army of squishmallows which you pushed to the sides as you sat on top of him, straddling him sloppily.
You clashed your mouth with his, kissing him hungrily, your hands grabbing him by his shoulders.
"Shit, baby," he muttered. "Slow down."
"I'm sorry—I just need you so much," you mumbled sheepishly as you leaned down and pressed your wet lips on his.
Joshua groaned, his hands grabbed you by the waist, rendered utterly speechless when your lips reached his neck.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I texted you hours ago," the words escaped his mouth before he could even stop himself and think.
"Was busy," you groaned nervously.
"Baby, slow down," he insisted when your hands slid underneath his white tank top, his skin prickling at the touch of your cold hands.
He grabbed you by the waist firmly, pulling you back without forcing you out of his lap.
"I have something to tell you," he muttered.
Your eyes widened, searching his face anxiously. "What, what's wrong?"
Joshua paused to read your face. "We've been chosen to open for a band this weekend," he could not avoid the smile that crept on his face in pure excitement.
"Oh my god? That's great!" you squealed, almost bouncing on his lap. "When?"
"I'm leaving on Thursday. My flight is scheduled really early in the morning," Joshua replied, his hands anxiously moved to your back.
"Leaving?" your smile faltered slightly. "Oh, I see."
Joshua's eyes were still trained on your features. "What, are you sad I'm leaving?"
"A bit," you said, looking deflated. 
"I'll be back in no time, baby," he muttered with an amused smile. "Or I can take you with me if you want."
You looked startled, and something within him told him he crossed a line.
"Oh, uh. I, uh, 'm not ready and I have so much work to get done before the book release and," you sighed. "Maybe it's best for me to stay? But thank you for offering."
Joshua rolled his eyes. "Baby, I'm joking," he smiled with ease.
You blinked in surprise and slapped his shoulder. "I hate when you do that."
"Do what?" he chuckled.
"When you play jokes on me," you muttered shyly. "I don't know when to believe you."
Well, that makes two of us. His internal voice sulked.
"Sorry, it's fun to see the faces you make," he replied instead.
"Yeah, yeah," you stuck out your tongue to him, which made him smile again. "Well, tell me more about this band you're opening for."
Joshua had his hands still firmly parked on your waist. You looked especially good that day. He didn't know exactly what it was because you were wearing something he's seen on you before, did you get something done on your hair? No, it looks the same.
So what was it?
"It's a huge band, like legendary big," he looked perplexed again. "I don't even know how they picked us. But it turns out that their original openers were canceled for some reason and we were their first choice."
As he spoke, he could notice your eyes wander. To his hair, then to his eyes, you seemed to like his piercings, since you toyed with them absentmindedly as you heard him. He smiled softly when your fingers reached the piercings on the shell of his ear. Like a cat seeing something flashy.
"Apparently if we take a liking to the crowds, we can get picked up for a label and that would also be huge for us," he told you, his eyes trained on your face.
"Oh? That sounds like a good opportunity. Great, actually," you replied, your eyes big in wonder.
"Yeah, it would mean a lot for us. I'm really excited for this," he muttered, your eyes were now in his throat. You did this a lot too, you seemed to like his throat, and he knew why: there was a big hickey below his Adam's apple.
Oh god, the look on his mother's face when she saw it. There was no comment made about it, but there was an obvious dislike about it.
Joshua, in fact, had never let anyone mark his body, even so much as to leave a scratch on him, he didn't allow it. But everyday when he caught a glimpse in the mirror of the lovebites you made on his body, he would remember you.
The hickeys you made in his skin were now fading, they looked like light brownish spots scattered on his neck and chest.
"I'm happy for you, Joshua," you told him with a small smile.
"Yeah, baby?" he purred and he could feel your legs tense up on his lap when he called you that.
"Yeah," you breathed sweetly.
"How happy are you?" he smiled, noticing that you weren't listening anymore.
"So happy," you whispered idly now, leaning forward to capture his lips with your own.
The kiss was brief but soft, your lips were the softer he's ever kissed, and he couldn't get enough of the softness. Joshua released your wrists and your hands instantly slid up his abdomen, a shudder ran down his body when your hands reached his chest and you were taking his tank top off.
"So, so happy," you muttered again dazedly. You landed a few kisses on his lips and then your attention was drawn to his neck, where you started placing open mouthed kisses.
A low laugh resounded in Joshua's chest. "You're not sad I'm leaving?"
"Yes I am," you replied, again, almost in a daze.
"You're sad you won't be fucked this weekend, bunny?" he dared ask, feeling like he was crossing multiple lines.
"What?" you blurted, seemingly snapping you out from your trance. "Joshua!"
He chuckled when he heard your high pitched voice reprimand him. "Answer the question."
"No, Joshua! I will miss you," you replied with a nervous tinge in your voice.
"Why?" he bit his lip.
Lately, he had been crossing the line of being just your fuckbuddy. And he knew that. But something troubled him and every time he tried to press about it, you'd get nervous and brush him off.
"You-you're my friend, you-," you frowned, stopping suddenly and slapped his shoulder harder this time. "Stop playing games, Joshua Hong!"
The tone your voice acquired whenever you chastised him was amusing to him, he even threw his head back a bit as he laughed at your reaction.
"Okay, okay. I'll stop," he said finally. "I'll miss you too, bunny."
You rolled your eyes at him. "Yeah, right."
He didn't get a chance to respond, your lips were on his when he tried to say some quippy response.
He meant it though—although he wasn't sure what exactly he would miss. It was only a weekend.
His fingers found the hem of your t-shirt and yanked it off your body, his train of thought fading to the back of his mind when he realized you weren't wearing a bra.
"Can I mark you again?" you asked eagerly after his hands started cupping your breasts.
"Yeah, go ahead," he replied, not really caring that his skin was healing from the other darkened spots.
You sighed softly in his neck when his fingers toyed with your nipples. "Fuck," you breathed and pressed your hips against his.
"You're swearing more often," he pointed with a smile.
"Sorry," you mumbled back shyly, kissing the spot below his ear.
"Fuck," he tensed up when you sucked his skin on the sensitive area. "Don't worry," he giggled softly.
"Maybe I need to stop hanging out with you," you mumbled jokingly, he could even feel you smiling on the crook of his neck where you landed another love bite.
"Mmm yeah, maybe," he replied aloofly.
"Would you like that, Joshua?" you asked and for a moment he liked that you were asking that question with the same intonation he uses when he asks you things while fucking you.
And to think you almost call him 'baby' too.
"No," he replied shortly. "I wouldn't."
Your lips reached his collarbones and he muttered more cuss words.
"You're so sensitive," you teased against his skin with a tinge of fondness in your tone.
Joshua couldn't make a reply again, feeling like it was self explanatory: his body liked you. Everything you did to him felt a million times better than anything ever did before.
You pressed your core down on his hardening cock and he groaned louder.
"Do you want me to take my pants off?" you asked sheepishly, batting your eyelashes at him.
"Fuck, yes, please," he muttered with a sigh.
You said nothing about him completely forgetting to dom you, instead, you smiled sweetly at him and stood from his lap. Your fingers played with the band of your sweatpants and when you stepped out of them, his mouth parted a little.
Joshua loved how confident you had become. When he first met you and slept with you, your body language was down right timid, which was totally okay to him, he also found it cute. He found it cute to see your fingers would tremble and the stutter was a bit more prominent. But now, you were more playful with him, even flirty sometimes.
"I like that on you, baby," he muttered when all you wore was a pretty lace thong. "Did you wear it for me?"
"Yeah," you replied coyly. 
Joshua swallowed thickly. "Can you show me?"
You silently nodded and slowly turned around to show him. He smiled through a soft sigh when you displayed your nearly naked body to him.
Then, much to his disgrace, his phone buzzed in his pocket.
"Ignore it," he mumbled. "It's probably Jihoon again."
"What if it's important?" you asked.
"You're right," he replied and fished his phone out of his pocket. "What is it, now?" he growled into his phone when he picked up Jihoon's call.
"Damn, why are you pissy again?" Jihoon said. "I'm calling you to tell you something about the setlist and dynamics because I think we need to rehearse more," he began.
"Can't this wait?" Joshua groaned and threw his head back on the couch.
"This is important," he pressed. "We only have a few days to prepare. Then, who knows what we'll be able to do."
Joshua closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "Be quick."
Jihoon started rambling. That was all Joshua could hear, essentially. Just babbling about stage dynamics, setlist order, specific details about lyrics, everything.
Something soft landed on his bare thigh and he opened his eyes to find you rolling his shorts up uncovering his thigh. Then you pressed a knee in the couch beside him and then you sat your pretty, wet pussy on his thigh and your hips started swaying back and forth.
At least you could have some fun through this, he thought.
He felt torn between Jihoon's voice telling him important things about the upcoming weekend's two-night concerts and you riding his thigh. His eyes landed on your forgotten thong lying on the floor and he smiled.
"Are you there? I'm telling you something important," Jihoon reprimanded, getting annoyed.
"I'm here," he replied flatly. His hand slid on your hip to press down on you, indicating that you could go harder on his thigh. Your eyes found him, you looked flustered and hot.
Your eyes widened, your pouty lips and your brow slightly furrowed as you continued riding his thigh.
He moved his hands from your hip and gently teased one of your nipples with his thumb and pointer finger. You bit your lower lip and pressed your pussy harder on the tensed muscles of his strong thigh. 
"Are you paying attention?" Jihoon demanded. "I'm thinking of changing Dawn to be the closing song."
"Mmm, no. I think it's best if we end with a bang, don't you think?" Joshua replied expertly, not caring that he barely heard what his bandmate was saying before that.
"Yeah, you're right. We're playing for a bigger crowd and opening for a heavier band. So maybe we should include more of our old songs, since those are a bit heavier."
"Yeah, yeah. Sounds great," Joshua muttered. His eyes trained on you, a few strands of your hair had stuck on your wet lips and when you exhaled softly, they fell at the side of your face.
"And what about our new songs?"
Your hands were anchored in his shoulders, fingers digging on his skin so hard it hurt him a bit.
But he didn't care, he knew you were close because you started to sway your hips harder and with a certain rhythm, not exactly fast but your mouth was parting the same way it always does when you're almost there.
"What about them?" he replied, trying not to hang up at that minute and help you out.
His thumb started to rub one of your nipples, making your hips stutter in their sway a little and you started twitching on his lap, coming on just grinding against him.
His big eyes lifted to yours, a pleased smile drawing on his face as he watched you come. 
"When should he play them?" Jihoon asked with an obvious tone.
"They should be the first songs of our set," Joshua replied flatly, seeing you come silently on his leg until your hips stopped swaying.
His hand grabbed you by your hip, motioning to move a little and you stilled on his lap, pulling back so that you weren't sitting on his lap.
Then a moan escaped you when he slipped his fingers inside your wet cunt.
"What was that?" his bandmate asked slowly.
"What are you talking about?" Joshua asked back, feigning innocence with mastery.
"I thought I heard—whatever, I'm going crazy," he sighed.
"You and me both, man," Joshua said through a breath, although it was evident to him that they weren't talking about the same thing.
You started riding his fingers and he knew you were enjoying being heard because you started moaning more frequently, small groans fell from your soft lips, your eyes fluttering close when he started palming your clit as you rode two of his fingers.
"So, that would be the setlist. We need to rehearse man, a lot," his bandmate told him reproachfully. "
"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Jihoon," he muttered absentmindedly.
"Now, about the transportation of our things."
Joshua groaned out of frustration and you smiled at him. He looked so cute to you, his pouty lips and furrowed brow. Joshua decided he was going to spice things up a bit, so he introduced a third finger.
"Oh god," you muttered and his palm pressed harder on your clit. "Fuck, that's good."
Jihoon was discussing details about the transportation of their instruments. The tour production of the band they were opening to actually provided them with the sound equipment so he wasn't too worried he had to rent something. So he didn't listen to what his bandmate was saying.
Because you started moaning again, your face telling on your second orgasm. You were determined to make yourself cum again, the movement of your hips changed and you were practically pressing on his hand so hard it started to go numb.
"God, Joshua," you breathed and started moaning, over and over again, cumming loudly on his fingers.
"Is that—are you watching porn?" Jihoon finally asked.
"Nope," Joshua muttered simply.
"Why does that sound like porn?" he sounded scandalized.
"I'll call you later, Jihoon. Bye," Joshua tossed his phone to the side and his free hand pulled you from the nape of your neck to kiss you hungrily as your pussy clenched his fingers hard.
"Having fun, princess?" he asked gruffly on your lips, then he nibbled your lower lip softly with his teeth.
"Mmm yeah," you replied sweetly, smiling playfully at him. "What was your call about?"
"Nothing that important," he said dismissively. "He might've heard you though."
"Oh, god. Really? Did he mention something?" your eyes widened.
"He thought I was watching porn," he smiled amusedly at you.
"God, that's so embarrassing," you replied, biting your lip and then you stood from his lap.
Joshua stuck his soaked fingers on his mouth, licking your slick off of him with a pleased groan. You were standing between his spread legs, so he just grabbed you by your hips to place soft wet kisses on your tummy.
"Can I—can I ride you?" you asked with a tiny voice as your fingers tangled in his dark hair,
"Yes, baby, fuck yes," he groaned and sat back when your hands gently pushed him by the shoulders.
You grabbed the waistband of his shorts and briefs and pulled them down together, undressing him completely.
"Fuck, baby. You're really needy today," he muttered in amazement.
"I was thinking of you today," you explained with a shrug as you sat back on his lap, straddling him on your couch. "Couldn't get you out of my mind."
"Why, what were you thinking of?" he asked, grabbing you by your hips again as your hands found his shoulders again to help yourself not lose your balance.
"I was thinking of doing this," you nodded to his naked body sitting on the couch.
"Mmm so you were fantasizing while writing your book?" he asked as your hand wrapped around his big cock and stroked his shaft. 
"I couldn't even get work done," you nodded with a sigh. "It's driving me crazy."
Your thumb rubbed the precum gathering on the tip and he swallowed thickly as he processed what you just said to him.
You propped yourself on your knees, his hands guiding you down as you held his cock for you to ease yourself down on it.
Joshua groaned, his hands involuntarily clenching on your love handles. You also moaned loudly, shuddering hard on top of him as you bottomed out on his cock.
"So big," you sighed tiredly.
Joshua let out a faint laugh, his hands moving your hips back and forth slightly, urging you to move.
"Okay?" he muttered, his voice already strained.
"Yeah, 'm okay," you nodded, anchoring yourself with your hands on his marked chest.
"Fuck," Joshua swallowed hard and threw his head back slightly, his fingers trying to dig holes into your skin.
You started riding him faster, his hands shifting from your hips to your ass, following your movements as you practically bounced on his cock.  
"Joshua," you whimpered. "Let me kiss you."
That was a bit of a problem for him.
It took him some moments to realize it at first, but when you dipped your head to lock your lips with his own, he moaned. He was just so weak for you, he usually found it so hard to contain himself when he was with you, but when you started landing kisses on him, he just couldn't resist.
You blinked and locked eyes with him, a frown appearing on your face when Joshua pulled his head back with a guttural groan. His hands grabbed your hips and forced them to stop, retracting your wet, throbbing pussy from his cock abruptly.
"Fuck, sorry, fuck. I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, clenching his jaw hard and screwing his eyes close.
"What's wrong?" you asked, reading his face desperately.
"Shh," he shuddered slightly.
You understood what was happening, and when Joshua opened his eyes again, he found you smiling.
"What's wrong?" you asked again when he allowed you to ease back down on his cock.
He licked his lips and shot you a brief look. "Almost came," he muttered shyly.
"From kissing me?!" your voice shot up an octave higher.
He groaned and threw his head back again on the couch and nodded wordlessly.
"Why?" you pried.
Joshua's hands were kneading on your sides, trying to get you to move a little faster, since it seemed that you had forgotten to continue riding him.
"I like it," he replied and his eyes shot you a dark look when you laughed.
"Sorry. I shouldn't laugh, 'm sorry," you tried to regain control of yourself but a big smile spread on your face, you even looked teary eyed for a second.
But Joshua smiled too despite himself. "You find that funny, princess?"
"A bit, yeah. It's cute," you muttered, suppressing a moan when you found a certain angle that you liked, you leaned forward a bit, taking his cock in your walls slowly.
"Cute?" Joshua snorted.
"All this time I thought—I was so dumb," you sighed and smiled at something only you appeared to be knowing of.
"What?" he pressed.
"Nothing," you shook your head and started riding his cock faster, earning a groan from him.
Then your hand sneaked in between you and him and started toying with your clit using your fingers. Joshua's eyes trailed down to where your bodies joined and saw your pretty fingers swirling around your swollen bud.
He might've come from the sight alone. He was biting his lip, watching you bounce on his cock, completely naked, making soft noises with your mouth as you appeared to be reaching your release again.
"Oh, Joshua—I'm close," you mumbled, pushing your forehead against his. Your pussy was clenching harder and you stiffened a moan. "Fuck, so close, Joshua."
"Do you want me to cum with you, baby?" he asked, his fingers teasing your nipples softly.
"Yes, god, yes. Please, Joshua," you whimpered.
"Want me to cum inside too?" his voice was low and strained.
"Yeah, oh god, Joshua. Ah'm there," your hips pressed down on him and your cunt squeezed him hard.
"God, fuck baby," he muttered and his hands grabbed you to help you keep moving on his cock as you went completely languid, succumbing to your third orgasm.
You leaned down and pressed your forehead on the crook of his neck, muffling the sounds of your whimpers and cries of pleasure as you came. Soft wet kisses and nibbles on his skin made him moan and cuss, the tip of your tongue swiped a line on his neck to his earlobe and that tipped him over the edge.
Joshua pushed his hips forward, thrusting his cum deep inside you, riding both your orgasms in a frenzied craze, he screwed his eyes shut while you continued to place lovebites in the crook of his neck, your body almost convulsing against his.
He was breathing hard, feeling like he almost passed out right there on your couch, his cock still inside your walls. What kept him conscious was the fluttering sensation on his chest, your heartbeat banging so fast against his that for a second he thought of asking you if you were feeling it too.
Fuck, he would miss this. Even if it was only a weekend.
"Oh, that was intense," you whispered, still shaking from your high.
You nuzzled tightly against his chest, burying your face on the crook of his neck and Joshua wrapped your body in his arms, holding you tightly as you breathed tiredly on his neck.
"Are you going to tell me now?" Joshua asked, not forgetting what you tried to say.
"All this time I thought you didn't like to kiss me during sex," you confessed and then let out a soft chuckle. "But it turns out you do?"
"What?" Joshua exclaimed. "Why would you think something like that?"
"Because you never kiss me—or let me touch you when we fuck," you shrugged slightly.
"Why did you never ask? It's important that you know these things," he reprimanded, pushing his shoulder forward and you moved your body back, understanding he wanted to be face to face with you.
"I just thought that us being fuckbuddies, kissing during sex would be too affectionate, you know?" you mused coyly.
"That's nonsense," he shook his head.
"It's not to me, Joshua," you muttered, eyeing him abashedly.
"You know you can trust me with these things. I'm not trying to belittle your worries, just—I want you to be comfortable with me," he looked upset, and almost disappointed.
"Well, what was I supposed to think?" you countered.
"Not that I don't like to kiss you," he rolled his eyes with annoyance.
"But you do," you smiled eagerly, reveling at the fact that he liked kissing you during sex so much that he could come from it.
"Of course I do," he laughed faintly.
Joshua looked at you expectantly, but you slowly rose from the couch, and let out a sigh when you saw that you had spilled his cum on the couch, and it also dripped down your legs.
"Oh, I made a mess," you mumbled embarrassedly and seemed to look around for something to clean it up immediately.
"I'll sort this out. Don't worry," Joshua told you and nodded. "Go get cleaned up, baby."
"Right," you frowned, your attention drawing back to the cum dripping down your thighs. "I'll be back."
While you took care of that in the shower, Joshua found paper towels in your kitchen and cleaned the mess on the couch and the few drops he found scattered on the floor.
Then he took the liberty to enter the bathroom while you were showering. Joshua had been there many times before to wash up after having sex with you, so he knew pretty much everything about where to find what he needed.
"Are you going to hop in with me?" you asked, eyeing him with curiosity through the glass door of the shower.
"I was just thinking of cleaning up here but," he shrugged, seeing your soap covered body.
You moved from the stream to let him step under it. Joshua was well aware that you enjoyed seeing him shower, even though he didn't even make a show of it, he usually just stuck to get himself cleaned fast.
But your eyes—oh, they were so telling on what was going on your mind. They wandered and roamed all over his naked wet body and he smiled knowingly.
"Are you hungry, princess?" he asked suddenly, bringing your fascinated eyes back to his own.
"Uh?" your mouth parted cutely.
"As in, food, I mean," he chuckled.
"Oh, oh, yeah," you muttered awkwardly.
"Do you want to order something? Or maybe I can cook something for you, if you want," he shrugged as he rubbed soap on his hands to clean his cock thoroughly, which was getting hard under the eye fucking by you.
"You can cook?" you asked innocently.
"I don't like your tone of surprise," he pointed. "Yes, I'm a decent cook."
"Oh? I'd like to, yeah," you replied while pretending to be washing your skin very consciously for the second time already.
"Okay," he mumbled, throwing his head back to finish rinsing off and stepping out of the stream for you to wash off the bubbles from your neck and breasts. You weren't making a show of it either, but Joshua couldn't help but gape at your body too.
Now, he was not entirely sure you weren't making a show of it, since you had rubbed soap all over your tits, bubbles gathered around your nipples and when the water washed over them, it looked so alluring that a shudder shook him hard.
Joshua chuckled breathily, snapping himself out of his trance and stepped out of the shower, fighting a semi-hard on. He was quick to dry off his body with the towel that you assigned him the very first time he showered in your apartment.
He had grown a fondness to this. Something so simple and ordinary as washing up. You didn't have any particular way of doing it but he found it cute. He liked the mundanity of it all.
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"Take whatever you want. You have free rein," you offered as Joshua stood in your kitchen.
"Do you follow a special diet?" he asked, appearing to be focused on his task. "Are you picky about something?"
You told him a brief summary about your food preferences and he listened intently, starting to gather ingredients from your cupboards and fridge.
"Okay, princess," he sighed and started to busy himself in making you a full meal.
"Do you need some help?" you offered meekly, feeling a bit idle in your own kitchen while he got to work.
"Um, I need these chopped. Can you help me sweetheart?" he asked with an aloof tone and nodded to the cutting board.
You instantly melted at the tone he used to address you. "Sure," as you did so, he eyed you curiously. "Am I doing it wrong?"
"Not at all," he assured.
"Okay. That's done. What next?" you handed him the cutting board and he diligently put the chopped veggies on the large pot and covered it, lowering the heat and sighed with satisfaction.
"That's it baby, thank you. Now we wait," Joshua said, setting a timer in his phone before gathering the used cutting boards, knives and such to put them on the sink.
"Oh, don't worry about that, I'll do the dishes," you stammered, grabbing one of his wrists to stop him. "You cooked, I'll wash."
"Sure about that, princess?" he asked. "I can do both, no worries."
"Move aside," you commanded and then batted your eyelashes at him before adding. "Please."
He smiled amusedly. "Okay."
He didn't leave the kitchen, he just stood there while you washed the dishes neatly. You looked over your shoulder at him to find him leaning on the kitchen counter, you turned around to continue washing the dishes, smiling with a blush on your face.
A yelp in surprise came out of you, startled when Joshua's hands clutched your waist over the soft fabric of your silk robe.
"Careful, bunny," he muttered softly when you jolted slightly. "I don't want you cutting yourself on that."
You were just rinsing the knife you used, and moved it to the drying rack. "You startled me," you replied shortly, trying not to show how flustered you already were.
"Sorry about that," he moved a hand from your waist to brush your wet hair from the back of your neck with his fingers, leaving your nape exposed.
He pressed his lips behind your ear, inadvertently getting the scent of your soft skin and wet hair. The scent was sweet, he could almost taste it in his tongue, it left him feeling something akin to a punch in his chest.
"Joshua, I'm in the middle of something right now," you mumbled, but you sounded amused, almost as if you found it funny that he couldn't keep his hands to himself for longer than half an hour.
"So?" he replied in a similar fashion to you.
And to really make his point across, he pressed his body on yours firmly, making you inevitably feel his semi-hard cock lodged in your ass.
"Joshua–"
"Hurry up," he muttered in your ear, teasing you with soft kisses.
He only heard you smile, but was so busy trailing kisses down your shoulder that he didn't get to see it again.
"Okay," your voice was rendered to a whisper. You finished rinsing the last cup and put it neatly on the rack. But then you scooted to the side to wipe something on the counter, clearly dodging his advances to tease him a bit.
When you heard a groan from him you didn't dare look back at him, but you laughed at his evident impatience.
"Calm down. And you say I'm needy," you teased. "Honestly, you should look in the mirror, Shua."
A gasp left your mouth when you were suddenly turned in your feet and pushed back in the kitchen counter that dug into your smaller back.
"You're becoming more confident with the tone you use with me, princess," he cooed with a playful grin on his face, his pierced eyebrow arched a little before he dipped his head to capture your lips with his own.
"I'm sorry," you replied in a whisper, but deep down you were excited to see where this was going.
"You know I don't like liars," he muttered darkly in your lips before swiping a line in your lower lip, making you whimper pathetically in response.
He nibbled your lower lip gently as his hands found the knot tying your robe blindly and tugged at it loose.
"You're so sure about that, Shua. But you seem to like me," you countered, your whole body recoiling in a thrilling shudder at your own audacity.
He stepped back a little, he looked in complete fascination, as if you had slapped him silly for a second before he broke in a throaty chuckle.
"What's gotten into you today, princess?" he asked with an amused look. "You've been so bratty lately. Do you miss being punished?"
"I do," you breathed into his lips, pressing your own against them a couple of times before adding: "And now that you're leaving I'm going to miss it more."
You felt his smirk with your lips, his breath landing lightly on your mouth. He had already parted your robe, making your breath hitch embarrassingly when his hands slid in your naked waist.
"You're trying to make me punish you. You know that doesn't work with me, baby. So why try?" he tilted his head to the side a bit, the smirk never fading from his face.
"Oh, but it does work, Joshua," you whispered, your jaw trembling ever so slightly when one of his hands slid on your back, fingers caressing gently on your skin. "It has worked every time."
Joshua seemed at a loss for words. This was a first for him—being so enthralled by someone that he didn't know what to say. It made him feel challenged, and he liked that a bit too much.
You found the strength to start toying gently with the piercings on his earlobe, knowing it was a weakness for him. His eyelids fluttered briefly and he tried not to smile.
"You were right, Joshua," you muttered with a sigh. "I do feel a little sad that you're not fucking me this weekend. But, think of how bratty I'll get. I don't think I can be that patient for you."
"Careful, princess," he muttered again, but this time, he was deadly serious.
"Are you going to miss my body too, Shua? I can play with my toys all I want, but what are you going to do?" you continued with a honeyed tone, being cautious to avoid his darkened gaze.
One, two, three seconds passed, and as time progressed and your words hung in the air, you knew it would be bad for you. But in reality, Joshua was just racking his brains for something to say, since you almost had punched him with your words.
Then, the timer in his phone reached zero, the alarm went off, distracting his attention and breaking the silence in the kitchen. He turned away from you to get the alarm to stop and turned the stove off.
"Turn around," he muttered as walked back to you.
You bit your lip to avoid him seeing your triumphant smile as you turned your tummy to face the kitchen counter.
"Bend over," his next instruction was cold, devoid from all the warmth and gentleness he used before.
Bent over the kitchen counter, you started to get a fiery anxiousness over what was coming. His hands gently caressed your ass over your panties when he pushed the robe up your back, making you sigh your nervousness away. 
Then you felt his fingers tug on the band of your panties to move them down to your knees.
And, something you weren't expecting happened. Joshua pushed one finger into your core, a whimper fell from your lips and your muscles tightened in response at the sudden intrusion.
"So wet already," he tutted. "I love this about you, baby. Your pretty cunt is always ready for me, even when you know what's coming for you."
He sounded serious, but on the inside, Joshua was far from disappointed. He was deeply awed by you, almost to the point he knew he had to be crazy.
"Joshua," you breathed against the cold surface of the kitchen counter.
"Mmm, yes baby. That's my name," he introduced a second finger in your warm gummy walls and you gasped. "Do you say my name when you play with your toys?"
"You know I do," you replied despite the blazing tingle sensation in your ears and cheeks.
"Are you going to say my name when you get fucked by someone else while I'm gone?" he asked and you knew by his tone he was not playing.
"I'm not fucking anyone else! Just you, Joshua," you replied instantly.
Joshua dragged his fingers out your sopping walls and landed his hand firmly in your ass, the wetness of your arousal in his fingers leaving a tickling feeling over the pulsating soreness in your skin.
You yelped loudly in response, screwing your eyes shut and fingers clenching into fists at your sides.
"That's right, princess," he purred softly. "If anyone gets to fuck you, is me," he rubbed a hand over the sore area.
"Yes, yes!" you squealed mindlessly. "Only you."
You let out a mewling sigh when he ran the pads of his fingers in your folds, caressing softly before slipping his fingers inside your walls again.
He leaned forward, placing a loving kiss on your bare shoulder. "What made you think you could even imply otherwise?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.
Your eyes fluttered shut, holding onto the cold counter to try and control your shaky breaths.
"I asked you a question, princess," he cooed.
"I'm sorry, I-"
Again, he pulled his fingers out of your throbbing walls to land another slap in the same spot he did previously, it made you jolt and groan through clenched teeth.
"Don't," he muttered. "I don't like lies. You know that."
You nodded and then pressed the side of your face on the hard surface of the kitchen counter.
"You wanted this, baby," he cooed, marveling at the sight of your glute starting to redden in the recently hit area.
Joshua continued to tease your cunt with his fingers, then introducing a third one, massaging your walls, pressing on them with his knuckles when he crooked his fingers inside you.
"Oh god," you breathed, your eyelids fluttering when your arousal trickled down your thigh.
"Shit, princess," Joshua muttered in his fascinated trance. "I don't think I'd ever seen you this wet. I suppose that thinking of fucking other cocks while I'm gone gets you this wet, is that it baby?"
"No! I just said that to s-spite you," you stammered quickly and then screwed your eyes shut to brace yourself for another spank.
"Then you're saying that teasing me gets you wet," he laughed faintly when you whimpered at the loss of his fingers when he pulled them out of you to land another slap in your ass.
"Fuck," you cussed through clenched teeth.
That one resounded harder than the last, so hard that Joshua believed that your neighbors would hear. Does his roommate hear this every time he's with you doing this?
"Mm?" Joshua pressed, while caressing your sore ass briefly before resume fucking you with his fingers, sighing in satisfaction at the sight of you completely bent, ass red and your cunt displayed for him, soaking wet.
"It does," you mumbled.
"You like to get in my head, is that it?" he wondered aloud, hoping to get a reaction from you. "Do you like to incite me with your bratty behavior?"
"I do, I like all of it," you breathed, then bit down your lower lip.
"Don't bite your lip," he warned. "You're going to hurt yourself."
Joshua raised his hand to land another firm slap in your ass. Both of your glutes were tingling, sore and hot. You groaned in both pain and in pleasure when he introduced his fingers in your throbbing core again. The sight of his wet fingers disappearing in your pulsating walls was fascinating to him. And you, being so completely subdued by his control was even more arousing.
"You're being so good right now, bunny," he praised with his honeyed voice. "I wish you could see yourself."
You only moaned in response, feeling silly to even give a full coherent response. You only were able to angle your ass up for his fingers to reach deeper in your walls, letting out a puffy breath through your wet and chapped lips.
"Oh, my pretty girl. Are you fucked out already? Do you like being fucked with my fingers, sweetheart?" he smiled when he saw you were nearly drooling, your mouth agape and eyelids fluttering shut.
"Uh-huh," you breathed.
"Is this why you misbehave?" he pressed, but even you could hear that he was smiling.
"Yeah," you replied in the same manner.
He chuckled, completely entranced in your fucked out babble, drooling, soaking wet on his fingers, which he pulled out to deliver another spank on your red glute, earning a lewd yelp from you.
"Baby, are you close?" he asked. "I'm barely fucking you with my fingers, do you like being spanked that much?" he asked when your walls started cramping down on his fingers.
"Mmm-mmph," you nodded with your head pressed against the counter. "Feels so good," you replied in a whimper, it was not only the fact that he was teasing you with his fingers, or the pain from the spanking.
You were absolutely drunk on him controlling you, talking to you in that way, acting possessive over you.
He pulled his fingers once again and you lifted your head from the counter when you saw out of the corner of your eye that he had dropped to his knees.
An embarrassingly lewd sound escaped from your gaping mouth when he licked a stripe from the side of your thigh to your wet folds, his hands firmly grabbing you by your sore ass for him to bury his mouth on your cunt.
You cried out his name, not caring that it was the middle of the day, you were in close proximity to the door of your apartment and the walls to the hall outside were very thin.
He hummed in response, reveling at the sound of you calling his name out loud. His hands were kneading at your ass, pushing you on his face as he ravaged your core, giving it broad strokes with his tongue, tasting you, getting drunk on you.
"God, Joshua!" you cried out lewdly.
Just when his tongue started to push in your core, making you moan and tremble in pure bliss, he stood up, yanking his mouth from your throbbing cunt.
You let out a whimpering groan, expressing your disapproval. Joshua you felt genuinely amused, but you didn't see any sign of it, his nose and lips covered in your slick that he wiped away with one hand.
Joshua leaned forward as you lay on the counter and you stilled when his lips pressed wet kisses where your silk robe didn't cover your back, your shoulder and neck.
A pathetic moan spilled from your lips, your body alight from the soft kisses he planted on places no one but him had ever touched before.
"Did you think I'm letting you cum that easy, baby?" he purred, planting a kiss on your shoulder. "You're cumming when I say you can, you know that."
Joshua couldn't ignore the glint of triumph he caught in your eyes. A thing was for certain: you learned his game, you won.
His hand rubbed the area where he had spanked you, it was red and it felt some tingles. He felt you shudder slightly and you dropped your forehead back to the kitchen counter.
"You like being spanked," he cooed softly. "You enjoy being tied too. Maybe I should change my tactics, since you're misbehaving so much lately."
That sparked your interest, you budged a little to sneak a glance his way, the sight of it was so cute that Joshua almost breaks right there and then.
"Should I punish you by giving you the cold shoulder?" he mused softly, introducing his fingers back into your walls and you let out a moan in eagerness. "You seem to like giving me the cold shoulder, maybe I should start doing the same to you."
But it was you that broke first.
"No, please don't," you raised your head to see him. "I'm sorry Joshua, I won't do it again, please."
His fingers came to a stop inside you, pulling them out slowly to then fix your panties back to their place. "On the table, now."
You swallowed thickly, but didn't waste more time and walked over to the table with Joshua closely behind you. He grabbed you by the waist and sat your body down on the cold surface.
Luckily the table was sturdy and it didn't budge when Joshua set your body down brusquely.
"I'm having a hard time believing you. Why do you give me the cold shoulder, bunny?" he asked, his tone silky and taunting. 
But in his eyes you saw another thing, was it frustration? You leaving him aside was something that troubled him deeply, he knew that he couldn't press you too much about it because you always seemed to steer the conversation away from it.
"I can't tell you, Joshua," you whispered and the air was robbed from his lungs when he knew you weren't in the subspace anymore.
"It's okay," he responded and his gaze softened immediately. "If you can't tell me I won't bring it up again."
"Oh, Joshua," you sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"No, don't be," he faltered. "Are you safewording, bunny? We can stop right now."
"Nonono, don't stop," you muttered quickly, bringing a hand to his nape to pull him into a heated kiss.
"Baby-," he pulled away but you shushed him with another kiss.
"Please don't stop," you urged in a broken whisper.
"I'm confused," he admitted.
"Just know that I don't push you away over something you do," you muttered faintly, looking at his eyes but your gaze was shifty. "You don't do anything wrong."
"You trust me, don't you?" he asked, feeling his chest contract at his words, why did he feel so unsettled by this?
"I do, I trust you Joshua," you replied immediately.
"And you know you can safeword anytime," he continued.
"Yes, I would've safeworded if something was too much for me," you nodded.
"I'm not doing anything that pushes you away?" you shook your head silently. "Okay, that's all I need to know."
Except that wasn't true. Joshua was still clinging to the question around your sudden disappearances. He was sure it got something to do about the stuff you said about your exes: you didn't stick around.
But he's not your ex, he's not even remotely something close to even having a title in your life. You don't introduce someone to your friends and say 'This is Joshua Hong, my fuckbuddy.' So, why should you treat him as anything more than that?
"Joshua," you called to him, tearing him from his thoughts and cupping his beautiful face in your hands, locking your eyes with his. "I won't push you away again. I promise."
"You don't have to make promises with me," he muttered and instantly regretted it.
Because he wanted this, he wanted you, no messing around, no lies. He wanted your honesty, your secrets, everything.
"But I want to. Let me," you whispered, he could see the honesty in your eyes, but also, a glint of desperation in them.
"Okay," he conceded. "It's a promise, then."
Joshua held in his breath, he was an idiot.
"Joshua, I..." you whispered, your fingers were now fidgeting with the hair on his nape, as if that was meant to soothe you, not him. "Give me time, and I'll tell you when I'm ready."
"Baby, you're allowed to keep your secrets," he emphasized. "I just don't like to feel like it's my fault that you disappear."
"It's not," you said and seemed to relax, the tension around your shoulders eased.
"Then I have nothing more to worry about," his fingers grazed your chin fondly. "Okay?"
You nodded, offering him a sweet smile that twisted his guts. "Okay."
"You scared me, baby. Don't do that again," he reprimanded softly with a sigh, leaning his forehead on yours.
"I'm sorry," you muttered. "I know, I'm so, so sorry. I panicked. I ruined the moment."
"Don't worry. Your comfort comes first," he said softly. "It's a good thing that you stopped me, but just try to remember to safeword. Even for things like this."
"I will. Thank you," you whispered.
"Are you sure you're okay, baby?" he whispered. "We don't have to keep going. We can skip to aftercare, it's alright."
"But I want to keep going," you muttered back in a tiny voice. "Do you still want me?"
Joshua still felt confused, but one thing yanked his mind from the lingering question: you being so restless, so utterly vulnerable and exposed to him made his heart wrench.
He wanted you in ways that he couldn't explain.
"I always do," he replied before kissing you.
His hand found the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling on your hair to kiss you hungrily.
The atmosphere between you had changed and Joshua felt it, he didn't have to ask you if you felt it too this time.
What Joshua didn't know is that your heart was beating like crazy. So completely lovesick because you were becoming more and more transparent with your feelings and at the same time, you couldn't find it in yourself to tell him you're in love with him.
Instead, your hands were zipping down his hoodie again, sliding it down from his shoulders. This time Joshua forgo his tank top, so he just shrugged out of his hoodie, and you helped him step out of his shorts.
You grabbed his hard cock with one hand and he sighed softly in your lips, shyly giving it a few pumps with your hand. Darting a look up to find his big doe eyes trained on your face, making your stomach jolt in nervousness.
"What?" you breathed.
"Lie back, princess," he muttered, blinking lazily at you with a smile on his face.
The curtains in your apartment were wide open, letting the warm light from the sunset pour inside and reach the round table where you were lying down, still wearing your robe and panties. The splits of the robe parted and exposed your naked chest for him.  
Joshua could've sworn he never laid eyes on someone so beautiful. Removing the fact that you were nearly naked, he still thought you were so pretty; your puffy soft lips, your wide eyes looking fondly at him.
He hooked his fingers on the waistband of your panties and slid them down your legs again and put them aside somewhere.
"Joshua?" you called in a small voice.
"Mm?"
"Can we—can we skip foreplay?" you breathed. "I really need you right now."
Joshua complied wordlessly, being that he also ached to do just that. Grabbing your legs to hoist them up his shoulders, he aligned his cock with your core, he sent you a look before he sheathed himself in your walls to his hilt.
He let out a puffy breath in pure delight as soon as his cock was surrounded by your walls.
"God, Joshua," you sighed.
He would never get tired of this, hearing you call his name.
He started moving, dragging his cock back to push it right in, picking up a pace instantly. He was hitting you so hard and deep that the sounds of skin slapping against skin, paired with the soft moans you made and Joshua's own groans flooded the room.
Joshua looked down where your bodies joined, a low guttural moan bubbled in his throat when he saw his cock disappearing on your pretty swollen cunt.
"Mmfuck. You feel so good baby," he muttered in a fucked out slurry tone, his eyes trailing back to yours. "So tight and warm."
"All for you, Joshua," your reply reverted him back to the thing he always says to you and that made him smile broadly at you.
"Just for me," he breathed, the air leaving his lungs once again but now knowing that your eyes were looking adoringly up at him. "Why is that?"
"Because 'm yours," you mumbled with a small smile that let out a moan.
"All mine. That's right, baby," he breathed, pushing in and out of you in steady pace, barely holding onto the fragile threads of reality.
Joshua has never felt something so otherworldly. He thought he might be going insane for a split second. The warm light pouring from the windows bathed what your robe didn't cover, your bare skin exposed to him, your adoring eyes looking at him.
Then, he suddenly leaned down, motioning for you to hook your legs around him, as you did, his arms wrapped around your body to hoist you hip, so now that the only part of your body pressed to the table was your ass.
You cried out in both pleasure and from the unexpected motion as he continued ramming his cock in and out of your cramping walls, hitting so deep in a spot that felt just so good you inevitably started moaning lewdly.
You instinctively hid your face on the crook of his neck, nibbling at his soft and marked skin. You placed open mouthed kisses on the spot below his ear, making him plunge deeper in you.
"God, ahh—baby," he called with a hoarse voice. "Fuck–I'm close. Are you close too?"
"No, 'm not there yet, Joshua," you mumbled breathlessly, pulling your head back to see his furrowed brow.
"You want me to cum inside, sweetheart?" he purred with a lazy sigh.
You nodded, and he enjoyed the frenzied look on your face because he knew you went wild when he talked to you in that way.
"Do you want me to keep fucking you until we come again and again?"
He smiled at you when you shuddered visibly. You nodded and gulped hard. "Yes—god, yes! Please, Joshua."
"Gonna fill your pretty cunt to the brim. You're gonna take it all, right baby?" he continued, enjoying the frenzied look in your eye when he talked pure filth to you.
"Yes, yes, yes," you nodded frantically. "I want everything, Joshua."
You cupped his face with your hands and pulled him into a hungry, passionate kiss. He groaned helplessly in your mouth, feeling like you were playing dirty with him, because he couldn't hold out anymore.
He pushed his hips against yours lazily, his hands cupping your ass to push your body impossibly close to his own as ropes of cum spilled inside your pulsating walls.
But he continued fucking you aimlessly, your body now clinging to his. One of his large hands grabbed you by the back of your head to kiss you harder, swallowing your moans of pleasure as you came with him.
"Joshua," you breathed in his mouth. "Oh, god–fuck. Joshua!"
"I know, I know," he replied lazily. "You're taking it so well, baby."
Then you did something he wasn't expecting. You moved your arms from his shoulders and propped yourself on the table, splaying your legs wide for him.
A low moan bubbled in his chest, his glazed eyes at your body splayed on the table for him, making him follow you by leaning towards you and lowering his hands flatly on the table too.
His gaze fell again where your bodies joined and groaned loudly, clenching his jaw as he felt his cock getting harder at the sight of your cunt sopping wet with his cum. The base of his cock dripped with a  ring of your cream around it.
"Umffuck, fuck baby," he groaned mindlessly. "You look so good like this."
It was at this moment that you knew why he liked watching you come. You always thought he looked insanely hot when fucking you, but this time something was different. He looked as if he was trapped in a trance—his gaze was out of focus, lust lidded eyes, leaning his head back while pushing his cock in and out, biting his lip and moaning out incoherencies.
He was ruined, so ruined.
"All yours," you responded in the same craze as his. "I'm yours, yours, Joshua."
He moaned gutturally and nodded with his head, his thrusts had long ceased to be controlled and calculated, as he was growing tired but drowning deep in you.
"Baby," he called. "Kiss me."
You pushed your body with your arms and reached out to him, wrapping one arm around him to capture his sweet lips with your own, a hand pushing him by the back of his head to pull his head as humanely close to you.
"Mine," he breathed in your lips.
You nodded and pressed your lips against his softly.
"Give me one more. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?" he asked in a broken mutter.
Joshua smiled sweetly at you just nodding your head, completely unable to utter a word.
"You're being so good for me," he grunted, pushing lazily in your walls. "Fuck, so perfect. You're gonna give me one more? Cum for me again, baby."
You groaned loudly and nodded frantically. "Yeah," you mewled.
"Rub your clit. I'll cum with you," he muttered and smiled again when you complied with zero hesitation.
But you brought the hand that was on his nape to his lips and he understood immediately, and took the pads of your fingers inside his mouth to coat them with his drool along with a groan.
Then you gently pressed the now wet fingertips on your clit and started flicking swiftly, you knew it was game over for you again.
You threw your head back a bit, jaw going slack as Joshua continued fucking you open on your table, grunting and cussing over and over again as your walls started cramping erratically around his cock again.
"Uum fuck-k," you gasped, your muscles contracting erratically. "Joshua, god–Joshua!" you cried out harder. "I'm cumming, I'm–gaah!"
Joshua moaned in response, but continued ramming his cock inside and out, not wanting to tear his eyes off you, writhing on your table, crying out his name for the whole building to hear.
It didn't take much for you to drag him over the edge again, it was just so irresistible, and it felt so good to be in there with you; both so drunk on each other.
"That's it, baby. Take it all," he whispered, completely lost in you, so much that he couldn't believe that he was already cumming for the third time that day. 
Joshua blinked lazily as he pushed his hips sloppily, dumping his load inside your walls with a blissful groan and faint babbles about how good you were for him, calling you his over and over again.
You were breathing hard, rendered speechless, your arm supporting your body was shaking slightly as you stopped writhing from your high.
"Joshua," you whimpered, signaling for him to stop.
"Too much, sweetheart?" he cooed, reading your face with his eyes.
You nodded wordlessly and he complied immediately, his hips coming to a stop, his chest heaving and completely covered in hickeys and sweat.
"Hungry now?" he smiled weakly.
"Mmyeah," you mumbled clumsily.
"Let's go wash and then we eat," he nodded back to the bathroom.
"Get out of me first," you smiled playfully at him.
He sighed a smile, his eyes glinting with something you couldn't place. He reached out beside you on the table and motioned you to lie back again.
Then you noticed he had reached out for our panties he discarded on the table and hooked them on your ankles, sliding them up your legs and you lifted your hips for him to fit them properly.
"Thanks," you muttered happily.
"D'you still have questions for me, sweetheart?" he asked out of the blue, his hands beside you hovering over your body on your table.
You blinked a bit surprised. "Yeah," a frown appeared on your face. "Why?"
"How about," he booped your nose with his finger, "we eat, and we go somewhere you can ask away all you want."
"Why, I can ask you right now," you shrugged slightly, the small smile remaining on your face.
"I'm jus' saying since we can't be around each other for two minutes without having sex," he chuckled breathily.
You giggled sweetly and his heart clenched again. "Alright, mister. It's a plan."
Then you booped his nose and he smiled.
Joshua was actually a really good cook, not 'decent' as he said. However you didn't eat on the table, you both sat on your couch and ate to your heart's content.
The tv was on, but none of you were watching. You sat with your legs extended on the side and Joshua sat on the sofa beside you.
Sometimes you would catch him looking at you with the lightest smile on his face. You would laugh and roll your eyes at him, trying to play hard at his suggestive looks.
Maybe it was the fact that you were both half naked in your living room.
"What?" you finally managed to ask after he looked at you for the third time. Or when you caught him looking for the third time.
"I think I'd never seen you eat a full meal 'till now," he replied, eyes on his bowl, scratching with his chopsticks at nothing.
"Yeah, I'd never seen you eat either," you nodded with a small frown.
"You're cute," he muttered shyly. "You pout when you chew on your food."
You giggled. "No, I don't. Now you're just inventing stuff," you joked, but you couldn't ignore the fluttering in your stomach.
He rolled his eyes. "Right. Forget what I said. You actually look like a monster that's been starved for decades."
"That's more like it," you smiled at him.
"I'm never giving you a compliment again," he smiled, leaving his bowl on the side. "Want more, sweetheart?"
"I'm full," you left your bowl on the coffee table as well. "Thank you, Joshua."
"Don't thank me," he replied, leaning back on the sofa.
His legs were spread, a hand resting on his thigh and the other propping his head.
You swallowed hard and looked away. But he noticed, he stood up and squeezed his body on the couch lifting your body to place you on top of him.
He was smiling knowingly. "You're insatiable, princess. Did you know that?"
"What are you going to do about it?" you asked coyly.
"How about we just make out?" he laughed in embarrassment.
"Yeah, I'd like that," you breathed.
Joshua chuckled, dipping his head to kiss you deeply, smiling between your lips.
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Joshua Hong, you idiot.
When his roommate gave him the tickets for the Aquarium night event, he failed to mention that it was an event intended for couples mainly. So the look on his face might have given him away immediately when he led you inside.
"You know, if you wanted to go out on a date with me, at least give me the courtesy of letting me know beforehand. I could've dressed better," you smiled impishly as you looked around the entrance of the place where the first thing you saw was a heart shaped sign that said: 'love is in the water.'
"I didn't know it was for couples," he admitted.
You gave him a look, and his heart sank. Why couldn't he just say that this was an actual date?
Maybe because this was not his style.
If it were up to him, he would have taken you somewhere else, and perhaps under different circumstances, he would have told you beforehand that he intended to go out with you seriously instead of dragging you on an impromptu date.
"We can leave," he put in quickly.
"No, it's okay. I don't want to leave," you reassured him. "I like aquariums."
"You do?" he pushed his eyebrows up.
"Yeah!" you smiled, pushing the door and holding it open for him.
He was dumbfounded still by the mess he brought you to.
"What else do you like?" he asked, walking beside you through a corridor that looked more like a glass tunnel crossing through water, fish darting away above, the soft light illuminating the path you walked together painted a soft blue glow on your skin.
"I'm asking the questions tonight, sir," you arched an eyebrow playfully.
"True, sorry," he returned the smile. "What do you want to know?"
"I know your birthday, your favorite color, I know that you go out with your mom on Sundays... Do you have siblings?"
"Only child," he muttered simply. "It's just me and my mom."
"Oh," you frowned cutely.
"It's fine, don't worry," he shrugged.
"O-okay," you nodded. "Is guitar the only instrument you play?"
"So you do have a list of questions, huh?" he asked jokingly. "I play the piano too."
"You know I do have a list," you quipped with a grin. "Will you show me one day?"
He smiled sweetly. "Sure."
You returned the smile before standing in front of large tanks showing pink jellyfish. You cooed cutely, looking mesmerized at the exhibit.
Something irked him. His hand itched to grab yours, to lace your fingers with his and stroll with you hand in hand. He wanted to show you off to the world, as though you were his entirely.
But instead of that, he just took out his phone and snapped a photo of you deep in your trance watching the jellyfishes floating in the water tank. You never noticed he did, but that was his plan all along.
"I always wanted to ask," you eyed him shyly, walking to the next tunnel, through the reefs and fishes swimming away. "Were you taught to tie rope?"
Joshua snickered. "Why do you want to know?"
You smiled through your blush. "I just can't imagine you learning from a tutorial on youtube."
"What's wrong about that?" he laughed. "I did learn some things on the internet. But before that, someone taught me."
Your eyes sparked with interest, turning away from the colorful schools of fish darting gracefully between swaying seaweed to face him. "And who–who was that?" you stammered a little. 
"An ex," he put it simply.
"Girlfriend?" you mused, trying to sound uninterested.
But Joshua noticed, his eyes fixed on your face as he nodded. "Former dom. Long time ago, bunny."
Your eyes widened, your mouth even dropped in the tiniest 'o'. "You used to have a dom?" you whispered, but couldn't hide your disbelief.
"For a while," he replied simply, not caring much about sharing his past with you, he wanted you to know all about him, so he felt like he could be more open.
"Did you like being a sub?" you asked nervously.
"It was alright. Fun, short-lived," Joshua shrugged.
"Why did you change?" you pried.
"I prefer having control," he sighed with a gentle smile.
"Mm yeah, that I do know," you smirked, looking up to the water ceiling, your eyes following each fish that swam by. "Would you let me dom you?"
Joshua's laugh reverberated across the tunnel, he even threw his head back a little.
"Don't laugh!" you mumbled sheepishly. "I'm serious."
"Sorry. I know you're serious," he replied, bringing a hand to your back as he walked beside you. "You just took me off guard."
"Why, you don't think I can do it?" you pressed, although you felt like it was quite obvious.
He ran a hand through his black hair, pushing it back. "Honestly? I don't know. But if it's something you want to try, we can do it some time. I can teach you a few things."
"Is there anything you want to try with me?" you mused, glancing up at his big doe eyes and the water ceiling on top of him.
"Mmm, dunno. I think I might be down for anything you want, honestly," he confessed, then paused. "Is there anything you want to try, bunny?"
"Mmm," you hummed and Joshua smiled when he noticed you've been echoing him a lot lately. "There's a lot I haven't experienced. Car sex, mirror sex, butt stuff," you laughed then looked down meekly before adding: "Threesomes."
"Do you want to have a threesome?" he asked, looking around to make sure no one heard his voice over the soft music playing through the speakers.
You shrugged. "I mean, only if you want, obviously," you gave him an abashed look.
"Huh," he smiled broadly. "I don't know how I feel about that," he admitted through his smile.
"If you don't want to, it's fine. It's just something I thought might be hot, y'know, being... shared," you stuttered quickly, scratching the back of your head awkwardly.
"I think it will take me a while to be ready to share you with someone else, honestly," he mumbled shamefully, standing before a large exhibit, where the vibrant hues of exotic fish shimmer under the gentle illumination.
It looked something like watching a meteor shower, Joshua thought. The fish were darting in all directions, glittering in the dark ocean depths, and he almost fell into another trance, seeing you enveloped in a silvery aura in the dim lights.    
"That's fine," you smiled nervously. "We can try other things."
"Maybe in some other time we can try," he conceded.
"Never done it before?" you asked, your cute eyes reading his face.
He rolled his eyes with an uneasy smile. "I've done it before, princess. A few times."
"Then why...?" you frowned slightly.
You didn't get to finish your question, instead you shook your head and turned to face the underwater life, letting yourself be drawn by the next exhibit. Joshua gravitated naturally around you so he followed closely.
"Maybe we can try it when I don't feel as... you know, possessive," he mentioned offhandedly, looking away from you to the ceiling.
"Joshua, it's okay," he heard you smile and his eyes trailed back at your face. "We don't have to do it now. I don't think I'd be able to try it with anyone else that isn't you."
That sent a strange fuzzy feeling down his body.
"Yeah? Why is that?" he mused.
"I dunno," you mumbled sheepishly, avoiding his gaze while you twiddled your fingers around the necklace you wore. "I feel safe with you, Joshua. You don't mock me for my inexperience, or make me feel bad in any way when you teach me things. And I trust you would take care of me in anything we try together."
There was no one around inside the small exhibit, in fact, the large glass wall showed nothing but water, since the lonely beluga had already swam out of sight a couple of minutes ago.
"That's the only thing I care about," he replied, the feeling coiling in his throat had robbed his voice. "Your trust in me."
You raised your eyes back at him, there was a glint of emotion in them Joshua couldn't quite place. You gaped slightly, as if wanting to say something but fell short of courage.
But then your eyes trailed down to his lips, then back at his eyes and he understood what you meant. He knew you were shy about a lot of things, not just things revolving around the physical, so he decided to initiate.
"C'mere," he muttered, wrapping one arm across the small of your back, pulling you close to him as the other hand cupped your chin.
Joshua slowly captured your lips with his own, feeling his heart melt under the softness of your skin, the taste of your sweet breath as you sighed in his mouth. 
Joshua Hong, you idiot, his internal voice reprimanded again.
He should've known why he was feeling this uneasy.
He should've known the minute he saw you standing outside his door for the first time. Then, he would've gotten the opportunity to make things right with you—to ask you for a date, to get to know you better, to win your heart over.
But no, he let his hedonistic ways get in the way first. Now, will he get the opportunity to make things right with you?
"Joshua," you breathed. "I–"
"You don't have to say anything. Please," he interrupted, afraid you were about to pull back, to tell him something witty that drives the moment away from him.
But you tangled your fingers in his tousled black hair, stopped at the nape of his neck and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, teeth clashing and breath hitching, both of you desperate to tell each other without words what you couldn't yet say to each other.
"I really, really like when it rains," he murmured against your lips. "In fact, whenever it rains I go for a walk. Same with snow. I used to be a choir boy and used to stay up all night reading the Percy Jackson books."
You began to laugh heartily into his mouth, his hand was cupping the side of your face, as he pressed feathery kisses to your lips in between choppy phrases spoken frantically.
"I like pastries and ice cream," he laughed a little at himself, but held you firmly to his body, as if for support. "I like to play slow music when I feel stressed. I like midnight walks when I feel lost."
His fingers clenched lightly around your hair, his face scrunching up to fight the uneasiness of sharing stuff about him with you.
"I also like to drive. Whenever I need to think I drive somewhere. I think that's why I related to you that night we first talked on the rooftop," he murmured hastily, as if trying to get the words out before he couldn't contain himself. "You have your rooftop, I drive my car."
You smiled against his lips, feebly trying not to cry from the flood of feelings that overwhelmed you.
"I..." he faltered for a second. "I really like sleeping next to you. I like doing normal stuff with you, not just sex—cooking, doing the dishes, grocery runs, all of it. I really like doing the laundry, we can do that together someday, would you like that?"
"I'd love that, Joshua," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly.
"Yeah? I also want you to go to more of my concerts, I liked seeing you singing in the crowd," he muttered with a strangled sigh.
"Just tell me when and I'll be there," you replied, completely enthralled by him.
"I don't know right now, just—I... want to be there when you publish your book," he mumbled, swallowing hard.
Joshua didn't let you give him a reply, he kissed you again, afraid of his own emotions, afraid of what you would say. He felt vulnerable and he didn't like it.
But you saw that. You could see it in the way he struggled to get the words out. And you understood that so well, better than anyone.
So you followed the kiss, feeling elated, almost to the point that your knees threatened to give out, but his arm held you tightly close to his own body.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" he asked both gruffly and dazedly. "I think there's a live jazz band or something."
"We're a little late for dinner, I think. And we've been listening to the band all along," you told him with a faint chuckle.
"Really?" he responded aloofly. "Then, in that case, can I take you home? Or do you still want to look around?"
"You can take me home," you replied, caressing his cheek with a thumb.
"Sleep together?" he mused with a small grin that didn't fully show his teeth.
"I'd love that," you replied, melting at seeing his smile, turning his eyes into crescent moons.
"Okay," he whispered, letting himself be overtaken by the unrested feeling in his chest. "Let's go then."
And true to his word, the tension in Joshua's features had relaxed, and he almost looked excited when you got back to your apartment. He quickly went to him to grab a change of clothes and his toothbrush.
"Hey, you're back," Seokmin welcomed him as Joshua pushed to his apartment's door. "How did it go?"
Joshua came back from his bedroom with his arms full of clothes and a hand grabbing his toothbrush.
"I suppose it went well?" Seokmin let out a low chuckle as Joshua nodded and walked to the door. "Just try to be quiet tonight? I really do need a peaceful night's sleep."
"Sure thing," Joshua muttered, totally not listening.
When he came back to your apartment, you seemed to be tidying up your bedroom a bit. It didn't need tidying but it was a fixation of yours, since you were trying to hide your nervousness away.
"Hey," you muttered. "That was fast."
"I just needed a few things," he shrugged, but in fact, he didn't want to waste a second with you. "Besides, it takes like thirty seconds to get to my room from your apartment."
"Oh, that reminds me!" you almost jumped from where you stood in your bedroom and hurried to your little studio and came back with a naked manuscript, handing it out to him with a smile. "Here."
"Is this what I think it is?" Joshua took the very heavy pile of white sheets all neatly bound with stitches. "Did you bind it yourself?"
"I did. How did you know?" you asked bewildered.
"Just a guess," he smiled softly, wrapping a hand on the sewn binding and tuning the first blank page to find the working title of your book.
He turned the second page, where he found a handwritten note in your hand that read:
dedication: to...
"Is this annotated too?" his widened eyes turned to yours and you nodded eagerly. "This is so cool," he sighed.
But not only that, as he turned the next page, he also found small doodles on the corners, next to side annotations.
"I'll give you a full review when I'm back," he smirked.
"You will? I'd love that Joshua," you cooed softly, and he finally tore his eyes from your manuscript, left it aside on the nightstand and wrapped an arm around you.
"Of course I will, baby," he pressed his lips on the tip of your nose.
When it was time to go to bed, it felt like another world to be so comfortable and normal with each other. It almost turned his stomach when he couldn't help but feel a crushing affection for you.
He brushed his teeth at the same time you did, pushed each other to use the sink, and laughed together. When it was time to put on pyjamas, he simply undressed, keeping only his briefs on, and smiled at your bunny pyjamas.
You yanked the covers of your bed open and climbed on one side of the bed, looking at him expectantly. Joshua took the space beside you, slipping an arm beneath your body to drag you close to his chest, hugging you snuggly. 
You caressed his bare chest with one hand, over the red hickeys and the older brown ones and smiled softly. Your hand trailed up to the side of his face and craned your neck to reach his lips with your own.
He breathed out in both pleasure and bliss to kiss you so tenderly, both so tired to even go past kisses but wanting to.
"G'night Joshua," you whispered in his lips, pressing one final one before snuggling your face against his chest.
"Good night, bunny," he muttered, kissing the crown of your head before closing his eyes himself. 
In the morning, you woke up first to find him sleeping beside you. Your stomach twisting nervously as soon as you laid eyes on his relaxed features.
He was lying face up, so you had enough space to rest the side of your head on his chest, which he felt and lazily threw an arm around you, his fingers reaching for your head to tangle in your hair.
"You talked a lot last night, sweetheart," he muttered with a light laugh.
"Oh, god," you sighed. "'m sorry."
"Don't worry. It was fun," he responded with ease. 
"What did I say this time?" you darted a look to his face, his eyes were close and seemed to be half asleep still.
"I couldn't get anything this time. Well, just one word," he laughed and that seemed to shake him awake.
"Which was...?"
"Jellyfishes," he muttered and giggled softly.
"Pfft," you huffed with a smile. "Oh, god. Really?"
"Mmm-huh," he hummed softly, his sweet voice reverberating in his chiseled chest.
"Sorry, Josh," you mumbled.
"I like it, bunny," he muttered lazily.
Truth be told he almost took his phone and recorded you talking in your sleep. But he refrained since it was just a crazed desire that might be misunderstood deeply.
"M'kay," you hummed.
"I have rehearsals in a couple of hours," he mentioned with reluctance. "But I want to see you before I leave tomorrow, is that okay?"
You lifted your head to see his face, he blinked lazily at you, his face relaxed and when his eyes locked on yours, he smiled slightly.
"Yeah, of course it is okay," you replied. "You don't have to ask that."
"Mmm," he hummed thoughtfully but then, he asked. "Do you like French toast?"
Joshua cooked breakfast humming a joyful tune and you helped in what you could against his protests. But he couldn't help but feel elated at you being beside him, helping him cook breakfast.
When it was time for him to go, he leaned back on your door, before opening it so you could cup his face with your hands and kiss him tenderly. He didn't want to go, he wanted to spend all day in bed with you, making out with you, fucking you silly and then taking care of you.
"I'll call you when I'm free, okay?" he muttered in your lips, his heart going crazy when you swiped a line on his lower lip with the tip of your tongue.
"Okay," you replied, pressing more kisses on his lips, making him giggle.
"If you're going to be like this every time I go away, I think I'm just going to go away more often," he joked.
"Shuddup, Joshua," you whined, slapping his shoulder playfully.
"Alright, alright," he giggled sweetly.
"See you in a bit, then?" you asked in a high pitched tone, which he made note of.
"Yeah. See you in a bit, baby," he returned the smile to you, before grazing your cheek with his knuckles to then lean down to kiss you goodbye and turned to leave.
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"Joshuji, you haven't been sleeping well?"
Joshua looked over at Jeonghan, who was ravishing a plate of fried rice with a focused expression in his face.
"Why you ask?" he frowned, the question came out of nowhere, since they had been chatting over seemingly nothing important a minute ago.
"Your eyes look swollen," his best friend replied, rubbing the air in front of his own eyes. "Have you been crying?"
"What. No, Han," he shook his head. "I just had a long night, that's all."
"Mmm," he hummed and nodded his head, his fluffy dark hair dangling in his forehead.
Joshua wasn't lying. He really did have a long night. Not by choice, though, he just felt really restless. With upcoming concerts, rehearsals and pending conversations with you, he couldn't find peace in his thoughts.
Rehearsal was totally botched by his inability to focus, because no matter what he did, his thoughts would revert back to you.
[18:21 PM] bunny: I'm still in the middle of this book interview, I'll let you know as soon as it's over. 😊
Jeonghan's eyes narrowed when the phone buzzed on the table and Joshua practically jerked awake from his daydream and his hand flew to look at his screen.
"Who's that?" his best friend inquired.
"No one," Joshua muttered quickly.
He had asked you an hour ago if you were free for him to go see you. And as always, you were in the middle of something. You did tell him in passing that you had a live stream with a popular pair of content creators that invited you to talk about your upcoming book.
[18:21 PM] bunny: Maybe by 8 pm. Is that okay with you?  [18:21 PM] bunny: I don't know yet. They were wrapping up half an hour ago but still going 🫥 [18:21 PM] bunny: They're not even asking me things anymore. They're talking to each other  [18:21 PM] bunny: I think it's good that I don't have to show my face 'cause the don't see me texting you
Joshua smiled, but his joy was cut short when Jeonghan's head blocked Joshua's line of view, taking a peek at the phone in his hands.
"Stop it, Han," he muttered, pushing the smaller man out of the way.
"Oh, you have a girlfriend!" Jeonghan cooed, then stopped and his shoulders went slack. "Wait, you have a girlfriend? Since when? And how did that happen?"
"I don't have a girlfriend," he replied tiredly. "Mind your business."
Jeonghan chuckled. "Oooh, I see," he muttered and resumed eating his food.
But his best friend said nothing else. And that might have sent Joshua on a spiral.
"What?" he muttered reluctantly.
"Nothing, nothing," Jeonghan responded, looking at his food.
"Tell me," he pushed.
"Is this what's got you in a bad mood?" Jeonghan's lithe fingers pushed the empty plate on the table.
"Like what?"
He shrugged. "Impatient. Barely touching your food, barely talking."
That much was true, as well. His plate was still half full, and he was not a man to leave food on his plate, but he simply did not have the appetite to keep eating.
"It's just—I'm sorry, Han," Joshua muttered and sighed heavily. "I can't think straight. You're right, I didn't sleep last night."
Jeonghan breathed a low chuckle. "Ah, I'm always right, Shuji," he joked but faltered when Joshua sent him a dark stare. "You wanna talk about it?"
Joshua dropped his chopsticks and pressed his elbows on the table. "No. I don't know—I haven't told anyone about this."
Jeonghan dropped his playful act upon seeing the torn expression on Joshua's face.
"What's wrong?" Jeonghan's serene brown eyes studied Joshua briefly. "Something bad happened?"
"No, not at all," he shook his head briefly. "I don't know."
Joshua sighed and called for the bill.
"You're not gonna tell me?" Jeonghan asked in bewilderment.
"No. Fuck, I don't know. I can't focus," Joshua's transfixed eyes landed on the table before him.
"Pfft," Jeonghan leaned back on the chair. "I'm exhausted of being everyone's therapist. No wait, scratch that, I hate that I have to fucking wait until you explode and have no one else to run to but me."
Joshua met his eye for the first time. "Oh, you're for sure not talking about me," he chuckled darkly. "Fine, I'll tell you but you're going to shut your mouth until I'm done talking."
Jeonghan followed Joshua out of the restaurant after they had paid the bill.
"I'm listening," he pressed.
"I'm... seeing someone," Joshua muttered, and felt every cell in his body protest against continuing. "God, this is insane."
He stopped abruptly on the sidewalk, making Jeonghan bump shoulders with him.
"I need a drink," he blurted, running a hand over his black hair.
Jeonghan looked wearily at his friend. "Let's go to mine. It's closest," he nodded towards the end of the street.
Jeonghan handed him a short glass with whisky on the rocks.
"Thanks, man," Joshua muttered, frowning a little over his best friend's hospitality.
"Don't mention it," Jeonghan said, popping a can of beer.
Joshua took a large gulp of whisky and slid the empty glass on the coffee table. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees.
"I don't know how else to say it," Joshua muttered, still wearing an empty expression on his face.
"Just say it," Jeonghan shrugged. "How bad can it be?"
"I'm fucking my next door neighbour," he blurted, cringing internally at every word, scrunching up his face.
The ice-cubes in Joshua's now emptied whisky glass shifted and for a whole minute that was the only thing he heard after muttering those words.
Joshua's big doe eyes lifted from the emptiness and found an expressionless Jeonghan.
"That's not bad," he said finally with a shrug. "Is she married or... why are you so pent up about it?"
"No, she's single. She's... driving me insane," he dropped his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes harshly.
"Why? I don't get it," he heard his best friend ask.
"It started two months ago. And I didn't think it would lead anywhere, I really thought she would just get tired of me and–," he sighed and brushed his hand over the air as if trying to push you out of his mind.
"I'm getting the bottle, hold on," Jeonghan said, rising from his sofa.
Jeonghan brought the whole bottle to the fancy coffee table he had in the middle of his living room. The apartment was obnoxiously large and every piece of furniture looked carefully selected. Like the coffee table in front of Joshua's knees.
"Thanks," Joshua said as he downed his second glass of whisky.
Joshua was particularly resilient when it came to drinking. So he wasn't worried about getting drunk. He could keep going all night if he wanted to.
But no, he made a promise to go see you first.
Joshua let out a sharp breath when the whisky warmed his throat.
"At first it was just casual sex, just fun. But it's becoming more serious lately and I don't know how to stop," he blurted the last words with a clenched jaw.
Jeonghan waited, perhaps because he didn't know what to say or because he saw that his friend was still gathering his thoughts.
"I don't know what to do," he concluded in a faint murmur, running the tip of his finger over the rim of his glass.
And like a work of magic, his phone started buzzing again, vibrating furiously against the glass table.
Joshua frowned, looking deeply obfuscated at the phone screen. You were calling him.
"You're not going to get that?" Jeonghan said, evidently knowing that it was you who was calling, since Joshua's display had that photo he took of you and your contact read only one word: 'bunny'.
"Yeah," his voice was rendered to a whisper. "Give me one minute."
Jeonghan nodded and stood up from the sofa, pretending to be busy himself elsewhere.
"Hi there," you told him and he could tell immediately that you were in a chipper mood than usual.
"Hi bunny," Joshua muttered, a smile instantly spreading on his lips. "How was the interview?"
"It was fine. It's just a pair of kids with a bunch of questions about the book. They were fun, it dragged on, though," he could hear you munching on something while you talked to him.
"Mm, yeah. I noticed," he muttered, his eyes briefly scanning his surroundings to make sure Jeonghan was out of earshot. His friend was nowhere to be seen.
"And you? How was your thing with your friend? Are you home right now? Why don't you come over and we talk here?" he could almost picture your sweet smile and the way you act shy when you prompt him to do something.
"I'm at his house right now," he replied shortly.
"Oh, really? What are you guys doing? Am I interrupting?" you asked nervously.
"We're actually talking about you," Joshua smiled deviously despite himself.
"What—no you're not. Stop playing or I'm hanging up," you said and that reminded him why he was in this mess.
He played too far.
"Can I call you in an hour, bunny?" Joshua asked abruptly.
"Sure. Let me know if you're coming by later, will you?" you asked. "I want to see you before you leave."
"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," he muttered and could feel his own face contorting into a frown.
"I'll hold you to that statement," you sighed into his ear and he knew you were smiling.
"You won't have to, baby," he lowered his head as he spoke to the phone in a low tone, as though he didn't want the walls to hear him. "I promise."
"Alright. I'll leave you with your friend. See you in a bit, then?"
Joshua smiled when he heard what appeared to be a new tradition between you two.
"See you in a bit, bunny," he muttered and hung up.
Joshua looked around again, but this time he found Jeonghan standing in the open kitchen, eyes big, mouth wide open in a smile. Because of course he was listening. Was he hiding all this time? Joshua imagined his best friend hiding behind the kitchen counters.
Joshua let out a heavy sigh and returned to his position of hiding his face in his large hands.
"You are down horrendous," his best friend punctuated each word.
"Fuck off," Joshua bit back, his voice muffled by the palms of his hands.
Jeonghan returned to his sofa, curling into a ball. His friend looked shocked, but almost giddy. Like a child seeing fireworks for the first time.
"Seriously, Joshua," his jaw dropped a little. "Why are you here? I thought you were all wind up because you wanted to end things with her. But here you are, actually whipped."
"I am not whipped. I can't believe you were eavesdropping," he groaned in defeat. "I'm here because I can't find an appropriate way to tell her."
"What, you don't know how to speak your mind?" his friend asked, sounding dumbfounded. "That's a first. Why can't you just man up and tell her? By the way you talked to her I can only assume it's mutual."
Was it mutual, though? Every time he tried to initiate the conversation or said something remotely romantic or affectionate you seemed to turn away from him and change the conversation. 
"I don't know if it is—mutual, I mean," Joshua declared and a shudder shook his bones. "I've tried to tell her, but it's never the right time. It's confusing. It happened so fast and I wish I could've done things differently with her."
"Leave then," Jeonghan shrugged with ease. "Don't waste your time and hers. You know better than that, Shuji."
"I know, I know," he muttered with a weary sigh and slowly rose from the sofa, dragging every inch of his body up. "Wish me luck."
Jeonghan followed him with his inquisitive eyes. "You'll do the right thin—you fucker, you're not planning on following through with this?"
Joshua's cheeky smile gave him away fast.
"Fuck, you're going to regret this," his friend followed him out the spacious apartment. "Well, you know where to find me."
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the drink, Han."
When he finally got to your door, he thought of all the times he's stood there, all the times you answered—and the times you didn't. It felt to him like he spent more time standing outside your door than in his own apartment.
"Hi bunny," he smiled when his eyes landed on your face.
He suddenly forgot his hysterical episode earlier. He forgot everything he was planning to tell you. Something inside him wondered when the time would come when he would stand in front of your door to tell you that he is falling in love with you. But he could push all his feelings away.
All to have another night with you.
Even if it killed him a little.
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✮ a/n: hellooo! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
so
so
i'm sorry this chapter was so long!!! i had so much fun writing from joshua's pov and it just went out of my hands — this fic is so self-indulgent i love it
so if you liked this part please let me know? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
happy new years everyoneeee! ilyyy
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