#from what ive gathered theres two new books?

[villalunae]

im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"

as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving

[lazulian-devil]

I think, deep down, what Im enamored with as a Skulduggery Pleasant Fan, is not the actual written canon but the vibes.

I dont know when it started and how and why, but there was a shift at some point in which the silliness of the books was outweighed by reality.

And yeah. Thats fair, honestly. But Ive read Demon Road as well and it just.... It literally oozes fun. Its a short, contained thing. Its full of funky ideas that dont have to be perfectly explored because, oopsie daisy, we dont actually have the time. It says something about growing up, about gender and sex, about trauma and about magic and then its over.

Maybe the Skulduggery Pleasant Universe is just... its been too long. If you need to reset everything, if your scale goes from Ireland to global to godhood, from Mage to Grand Mage to Supreme Mage, from protagonist to hero to godcreature? Maybe its too big.

I really enjoyed Book 10 and 11 and even 12. But its not the same enjoyment I have of Book 1. Or 2. Or 3. Like... This whole rant was prompted by Valkyrie saying, ca. Two thirds into Book 12, that (this isnt an accurate quote) "At first, it was Elementals and Adepts. Now theres so much more. Neoterics and Mutations. I think its enough."

And thats kind of funny, isnt it. Because yeah. The world grows and grows and grows and we say goodbye to characters, we get invested in new ones, we worry about Omen and Auger and Never. Militsa, even. Oberon. We meet characters again and they're different and new now.

But maybe, and I love this series to death, maybe its enough. There is an expiration date on all ideas. You can only write so much.

I wish Landy would do something like Demon Road again. It was fun, it was fast, it had vibes. At the same time, I know theres Book 16 to 18 in production right now and... Do I read them? Will they be good? Or have I already said goodbye to this series and all the things I held dear about it.

I was so young when I read the first book. And all its ideas and all its contents have been living in my head, essentially rent free. It has inspired me. It has shaped my perception on urban fantasy. It made me want to become a writer.

... So what now, I suppose.

I have 2,5 books more to go. I have a few ideas for analysis left. At the same time, the characters I love and want to support arent really there anymore. And thats both good and bad. Development is good, moving forward is good, writing shouldnt necessarily be stagnant.

I feel like - and this will make no sense to anyone - the bard in "The Sims Medieval". I have traveled the world, I have gathered my inspirations. Time to retreat and write an epic.

Or something silly like that.

[wishbowl]

i feel like this was important to share

I know i should write because i feel really productive about the future as of late and i know burn out is probably going to be just around the corner if i dont keep writing. So heres me doing that.

Its officially the day after my birthday [the real one] and i feel like there should be something i have to say for it but i really got nothing.

Instead lets talk about boys. So ive been going out to social gatherings [this is so fucking formal i dont know how to stop myself from sounding this way] and because of that ive been meeting people and people also include boys which is basically half the people ive been meeting. Because of this ive also added a few boys into my finsta just because thats secretly but not so secretly also my main. 

I dont know if i have a crush on this one guy or if he just looks good but weve been friends sorta in high school just because our people kinda overlapped but honestly back then i didnt like him as much but as hes gotten older he has also matured in a way where his annoying personality stayed while he became less of a cunt. 

And theres this other guy who ive ran into and i literally couldnt make eye contact with the entire time and one spoke two sentences since i was so flabbergasted. See the last time weve met which was a few months back, i had told his sister [who is my friend] that i had a crush on him in high school. And the thing is while that is true i also never really got over those feelings and when i told her she said her mum had thought that the entire time but she told her i was a lesbian so just on that alone i feel like she definitely told her mum which means he definitely knows and that thought alone was what kept me stupidly glitching the entire night.

Oh and theres this new guy who is actually not a new guy it just also fucking suprisingly happens to be a boy i had a crush on in high school but he was a few years older and he was way too cool. But hey if anything little me had great taste in my taste since all of these guys only seemed to have gotten better over time lol. I feel like he is dating someone or he definitely was but that was again in high school which was a million years ago. I wanted to get his socials but he had gone somewhere and i couldnt be fucked waiting. But lest we meet again eyesspose.

I feel like i should have clarified all of those guys that were previously mentioned i do not want a relationship with lmao IF FUTURE ME THOUGHT THAT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER  SUCK MY HEAD.

Now do i want to fuck them? The second one is out of the question but i guess that still counts as an overall yes. But do i think they would be a good fuck? Yes, yes i do… Which is maybe why they should just stay in my thoughts since then i can live in that fantasy and not let the real thing ruin that image. That would be annoying for me and my vibrator to have to regroup while i find a new person to replace. 

I will say the first guy, i do gotta watch out for him because with the right things he could totally have me falling for him. Which is insane and dangerous. DANGEROUS.

But i did not realise simply leaving the house could do that to someone. You meet new people and remeet old people. Peopling can be hard but it can be a great look book to look back on right after if you play your cards just right. And by that i definitely mean be on drugs the entire time so you are god and everyone is like in love with you.

Speaking of I am currently on drugs but is weed a drug, its like, is a square really a rectangle?

xoxo

[renytherat]

home.

im homesick for a home i know not. my nights are spent dreaming of a land ill never know to escape a life thats gripping me too hard. i feel like im drowning but theres no water. too much oxygen fills my lungs. it burns.

sleep rarely soothes. when it does its interrupted by terrors. flashes i dont remember, just feelings. this home i crave has never fully known me. it claws at my peripheral. taunts me. warm hugs, full bellies. i got those. silent nights arent foreign. but the splashes of screams, the sting of punishment, the smell of what i only now know to be alcohol on the breath, even mild, chained that home just out of my reach. the hole in the wall haunts me. strangers invading my home to ask my too young brain abt what the walls who have ears hear, but wont tell. witnessing bile upon those same walls fills my nose with the memory of the stench. have you ever seen someone bleed from their pores? i have. i was 9. maybe 12. my brain protects me only as much as it can.

but i miss home. i miss those meals slightly burnt. sneaking a cookie before dinner. sauntering down to the basement for movie nights. ignoring the voices that travel up the stairs long after us wee ones went to bed. flipping the pillow over to forget the wetness that stained the case, my cheeks. waking up knowing we all heard it but will never discuss it.

i miss home. watching my dad play video games for hours. listening to my mom hum as she cleans the kitchen. feeling the rough carpet as cartoons play on the old box tv. i dont let my eyes wander to the wall at the bottom of the stairs. i know whats there. its an old dent. i dont imagine the night the front door was ripped open and footsteps stomped after the breeze threatening to come in. she came back. we're fine. for tonight.

i miss home. the covers are warm from their run in the dryer. my homework is done. my sister's fingers turn the page of a book. mine follow soon after. its quiet. i turn my music up when their door slams. the hushed hisses dont reach our room but the beats in my ears and the fantasy in my hands help to drown them out anyway. we all gather for a bedtime story in the end. tomorrow will come.

i miss home. a home i never actually got. a home my brain conjures up for me on the nights the blankets are cold. on the nights my heart feels numb and beatless.

i miss my dad. his hugs are still warm. his heartbeat is still my favourite sound in the world. i miss my mom. she still whistles quietly when she cleans. i see myself in her the most.

i miss my dad. hes visiting his girlfriend in one of the Las' out west.

i miss my mom. shes sleeping soundly next to a man who never witnessed our first steps. he has dogs though, those are cute.

i miss my parents. they were mine. they made me who i am. ill always love them.

my parents dont miss each other. dad still aches. mom feels free.

my parents still talk. its not abt dinner plans. its abt holiday plans. who gets whom, when this year. we're all in our 20s. it seems childish.

ive forgotten how to communicate. havent talked to dad since two nights ago. it was abt his own dads fight i unfortunately witnessed with his new wife. havent talked to mom in weeks. apparently my sister needed help with an application. shes sleeping in the room next to mine right now. my brother has a serious girlfriend. i feel like a kid when i contact him. ik nothing of the future he'll have. my older sister has a job lined up shes wanted for years in the line of work she has. idk what her title has been for any of them. i have a partner right now. idk what their major in school is. my best friend got married. i havent seen or talked to her since the wedding.

my other best friend, my newest one, who has only ever known me as rae, is the only one privy to my recent thoughts. those that plague my mind day and night that i hide behind a smile. hes the one i called at 4am when i felt myself slipping. hes the arm that grabbed me from that metaphorical ledge. i cant lose him. im scared though. if these thoughts are what will make him leave. if i tell him.

the last one left without a goodbye. it hurts seeing her social media. shes still happy while i cry when i think abt her. abt what i lost. bc of distance i tell myself.

i miss home. i miss naivety. innocence. freedom from responsibility.

its 7am right now. i miss home. home holds me at arms length. when will i reach it? will i reach it? do i have enough strength to even try?

[hearts401]

Crepe god youve changed my life i think its over now. Restorers of Quill are my thing...

UHMM first the worldbuilding

Quill is a desolate desert island circled by a wall. It's ruled by high priest Justine and the Quilitary. Every year, creative 13-year-olds are purged and sent to the lake of boiling oil. But instead of them dying, Marcus Today takes them into a magical world he created called Artime and teaches them magic and art of all kinds. Children who are purged are Unwanteds. Children who are not are either Necessaries (people who do all the hard labor) or Wanteds (people who go to the university and get good housing and jobs)

and Gondoleery timeline

Gondoleery was born on warbler and could control the rain. she practiced magic with her friends Eva, Marcus, and Justine. Marcus and Justine are twins. One day, the twins gathered up a ton of people, Eva and Gondoleery included, and brought them to a new island called Quill. Justine became obsessed with control, told marcus to wipe everyone's memory of magic and other islands, and built a huge wall all around them. Gondoleery lived as a wanted for the rest of her life. Until Justine discovered Artime and went to war with them. She was killed, and Marcus's friend Gunnar took over Quill. Justine and Marcus were 71, i think, Eva is 72, and Gondoleery is 70-something, but older than them. Gondoleery was unhappy with this change. Then, Marcus gave her her memories back and she was furious. She blamed marcus. She then teamed up with Aaron Stowe, whos twin brother Alex (theres a lot of twins) was deemed unwanted. He also tried to kill Alex but thats not important LMAO this aint about him. The two team up and make the Restorers. Which consists of Bethesda Dia Gloria, Dred Crandall, Crawledge Prize, Liam Healy, and Eva Fathom. The first three don't matter ignore them. She spends a lot of time away from Aaron because theyre working on two different sides of a plan. Gondoleery is plotting an attack on Artime. Aaron kills Marcus, rendering Artime magic-less, and so Gondoleery defeats them. Aaron seizes control and becomes high priest. Gondoleery is one of his governers, but she spends more time at her house, practicing magic. Eva and Liam are suspiscious and try to tell Aaron shes up to no good, but Aaron ignores them. Eva dies (HGFHUDHHFHGHF) and Liam fails to convince Aaron of anything. Even when Gondoleery threatens him, he's in too crazy a headspace to actually do anything about it, and then he gets kidnapped and thrown in the ocean. goodbye aaron. Gondoleery sends Liam and Aaron's two, now orphaned baby sisters (who are also twins btw) to the Ancients Sector (area where *usually* old people are sent when theyre not useful, but its also used to anyone they decide is unworthy or disobedient. its like purging them later except marcus doesnt get a chance to save them.) and takes control. freezes quill and half of artime, and starts literally just killing people. Liam rescues the babies and flees to artime. Alex hatches a plan and very nearly kills Gondoleery but at the last minutes because of very complex trauma and because he's like. fifteen. He backs out out of guilt. So she lives <33 and later attacks artime using wind, fire, and ice. At the end, she's killed.

SO SEE THATS NOT. A SUPER CRAZY THING. SHE DOESNT SEEM TO HAVE A LOT BECAUSE THE BOOKS DONT HAND YOU THIS ITS VEEEERRY SUBTLE SUBTEXT. So this is where i go onto explain why i think shes so interesting and a few parts of her character i appreciate a little too much.

Firstly, her initial magic was rain. and the first magic we see her use after getting her memories back is rain. GUESS WHAT SHE DOENST USE IN THE FINAL BATTLE. Rain being gentle and innocent. rain being helful. her using rain to play in puddles with her friends as a child. but she doesnt use it. because thats not her anymore

Second, she has a massive disconnect with her memories that ive talked abt before so im gonna include those ss:

SO THATS HER MEMORIES AND ALSOOO i wanna talk about her mentality because Justine and Aaron wanted control and peace. they wanted to have everything and weren't afraid to demand it, but they're so desperately attached to control it genuinely harms them.

But gondoleery didnt seem feel that way. at least not exactly the same. she doesnt follow quills rules even a little after getting her memories. she knits a robe fro herself and paints it. she laughs and dreams and embraces the creativity. in another world she wouldve loved artime.

Her relationship with each founder is also interesting to me since ive talked enough abt restorers. welcome to my second insanity.

The author confirmed i think in a qna that Eva and Gondoleery were really close as teens and young adults, but grew apart later. Whether that was because of the memory wipe or not i dont know but i dont think it was for a couple reasons

Growing apart implies a close relationship slowly tapering off. If it'd been post memory-wipe, there'd have been a sense of distance already because that's how Quill works

Gondoleery was wanted and Eva was Justine's secretary. They likely wouldn't have seen each other that much at all.

So that also implies (to ME since ihave to make up everything abt her aparently) she was closer with the twins. Yknow. WHO BETRAYED HER.

She dislikes Marcus so much she doesnt even register him as the Marcus she knew as a child. and she refers to Justine in such a formal manner. She's also older than them which is kinda irrelevant but not to ME so who cares.

She's the last of all her friends to die and she hardly registers them as her friends anymore. its not the same anymore. she was irreversibly changed and had she not had her memories wiped, i don't doubt she would have ended up in a good place. Maybe even reconnected with Marcus like Eva did. but she never got the chance because Quill's customs mutilated her personality and joy. She was doomed the moment Marcus wiped her memories. whatever. id otn care. I DONT EVEN CARE. WHATEVERRR.

heres some art of her its rlly inconsistent sorrz also the other restorers are there yayy except strang ignore him

"Gondoleery is terrible and not that interesting and I don't think theres a ton to be explored" ->"I need this old woman to get worse and point the gun a little to the left."

[wcamino-confessions]

anyway have some major points from my "Warrior Cats Rewrite" outline. long story short im rewriting the entire series bc i can, feel free to suggest things youd like to see :)

Overall:

-Please note that some of these bullet points dont make sense in the order theyre in bc i forgot to put them in chronological order and didnt have much time to fix it

-Each book has a different protag in a different Clan

-Some names, families, and pelt colours will all be switched around/changed

-Some characters will be aged up or down depending on when it makes sense to me for them to be born

-StarClan is fucking powerless. Instead these fiesty battlecats have a religion similar to greeks, with their main gods are based around the moon. Its considered super lucky for a kit to be born under a full moon, and naming a cat/kit "Moon-" is considered super disrespectful and can get both kit and mother shunned by the Clan or exiled

-WindClan never stopped tunneling

-Oakheart is still alive

-Assume no cats are related unless I state otherwise

-Lostsong, Wildblaze, Ferncloud, Ashfur, Brambleflower, and Tawnystorm are all related (Bramble, Tawny, Ash, Fern have the same father, Wild, Lost, Bramble, Tawny have the same mother)

-Acorn and Squirrel are Dust/Sand's kits, though they 2 are no longer mates

-The medicine cats cant have mates or kits rule is thrown out the window bc its stupid

Name Changes:

-Brambleclaw -> Brambleflower

-Tawnypelt -> Tawnystorm

-Sandstorm -> Sandstrike

-Firestar -> Sparkfern

-Leafpool -> Acornleaf

-Brightheart -> Lostsong

-Yellowfang -> Mirestorm

-Ravenpaw -> Ravensight

-Swiftpaw -> Wildblaze

1st arc (The prophecies begin):

- Protags are Sparkfern (ThunderClan, book 1), Yellowfang (ShadowClan, Book 2), Mistyfoot (RiverClan, book 3), Tallstar (WindClan, book 4), Tigerclaw (Book 5)

-1st book goes more or less the same with only minor changes until you reach the point where Sparkpaw was supposed to run into Mirestorm

-In this rewrite Brokenstar "out of the good of his heart" allows Mirestorm to stay in ShadowClan under 2 conditions. She gives up being a medicine cat and goes back to being a warrior, and she isnt allowed anywhere without a guard. She accepts

-Tigerclaw goes through with the plan to kill Ravenpaw but fails. Ravenpaw, terrified for his life, decides to switch to being a medicine cat

-WindClan hasn't been driven out, but only because Tallstar gave ShadowClan a good half of their territory

-Tigerclaw doesn't try any backhanded traps like the thunderpath one

-That being said, Cinderpaw still gets caught on the Thunderpath bc she wasnt paying attention to where she was going

-She still goes back to warrior training though bc this ThunderClan doesn't discriminate

-All the ShadowClan stuff happens a bit later than it does in canon

-Spottedleaf lives, but she's fucked up really bad (Blind in left eye, intense scarring on face and right side, unable to use back leg without pain, etc etc) and decides to demote herself as a medicine cat and mkve to the elder's den

-Ravenpaw still isn't fully trained, so ThunderClan enlists Barkface's help

-Ravenpaw ends up being named Ravensight sometime around the middle of the 3rd book

-Sparkpaw becomes Sparkfern around halfway through the book bc i dont try to pack what should be a month of buildup into 2 days so theres timeskips when theres nothing happening

-Sandpaw and Dustpaw become Sandstrike and Dustpelt before Sparkfern and Greystripe because they were apprentices for longer

-Tigerclaw kills Sparkfern by the end of book 1

-Tigerclaw tries to kill Bluestar, but she runs out of the den and Tigerclaw gets exiled

-Mirestorm decides to say fuck it and in book 2 pushes Brokenstar into the gorge in RiverClan territory

-After Redtail's death Whitestorm is made deputy

-Since WindClan never needed to be brought back Whiteclaw is alive now too

-Instead of Nightstar, after Brokenstar's death Blackfoot becomes Blackstar

- Whitestorm ends up getting killed so Sandstrike is made deputy

-On that note since Sparkfern is dead Sandstrike was Cinderpelt's mentor

-Both Swiftpaw and Brightpaw live, but both are heavily scarred and are renamed Deadspot and Lostface by Buestar

-Tigerclaw still leads the dogs onto ThunderClan territory, but instead of coming up with the canon plan they all live in fear until RiverClan decides that this is painful to watch and help out

-Deadspot and Lostface end up having a 2nd run in with the dogs and Bluestar looses her last life saving them

-Sandstar renames them Wildblaze and Lostsong

-ThunderClan don't actually hate Bramble and Tawny for being Tiger's kits, but they both feel irrationally guilty about it and that causes just as much of a strain

-Brambleflower is the one who leaves ThunderClan this time, while Tawnystorm stays

-Silverstream and Greystripe never get together. Feathertail and Stormfur are Silver and WhiteClaw's kits

-Also Leopardstar dies earlier and Stonefur becomes Stonestar

-Tigerclaw takes control of BloodClan and renames himself Tigerstar

-When Tigerstar tries to take over ShadowClan Blackstar tells him no

-Tigerstar tries approaching Stonestar for an alliance and the whole "shun half clan cats" thing, not knowing that Stonestar is a half clan cat (Bluestar still told both Mistyfoot and Stonefur the truth) and Stonefur tells him to get fucked

-tigerstar decides to merge with WindClan instead

-The whole fourtrees stand off still happens, but Brambleflower kills Tigerstar (who due to being a faux leader and not going to the moonstone only has one life)

2nd arc (The New Prophecy):

-Protags are Brambleflower (ShadowClan, book 1), Feathertail (RiverClan, book 2), Crowpaw (WindClan, book 3), Tawnystorm (ThunderClan, book 4), Nightcloud (WindClan, book 5)

-The cats that go on the quest are Tawnystorm, Brambleflower, Feathertail, Crowpaw, Squirrelflight, and Nightpaw (Nightcloud)

-Squirrel (who was born earlier than in canon and is therefor now already a warrior) follows Tawny on the quest

-Squirrel has a puppy crush on Tawny and she makes this fact painfully clear

-Nightpaw follows Feather around like a lost dog

-Crowpaw ends up dying instead of Feathertail bc Nightpaw was in danger

-Nightpaw becomes Nightcloud after the journey and develops a crush on Acornleaf

-She's torn between the two until she realizes Acorn doesnt feel the same about her (Acornleaf is in love with Mothwing in this rewrite bc i said so)

-Nightcloud is briefly devastated but then realizes that this makes things so much easier for her and starts dating Feathertail

-Tawny and Squirrel get together after 4 1/2 whole books of obvious pining

-Daisy is still there, but she only has one kit as the others have died (The living kit is Berrynose, now renamed Hay)

-Daisy gets in a relationship with Lostsong and Cloudtail bc thats my OT3 and bc i said so

-After loosing Hazel and Mouse she finds that she can't bring herself to get too attached to Hay so Tawny and Squirrel adopt him and Daisy just becomes that cool aunt™

-Insert a good 7 pages of Bramble freaking out that he's an uncle now

-Hawkfrost is still evil and traps Sandstar in a fox trap, but Mothwing kills him this time.

-Mothwing ends up badly injured from her fight with Hawkfrost and Acornleaf takes care of her

-Stormfur ends up dying

-Feathertail leaves RiverClan to be with Nightcloud

-Daisy/Lostsong/Cloudtail end up having Whitekit (wing), Rosekit (petal), and Honeykit (flower)

-Acornleaf and Mothwing become mates at one point and love each other very very much

-Mothwing is trans (comfort hc ive had aince forever, not purely for the sake of her and Acorn having bio kits i promise) and her and Acorn end up having Swanblaze (Hollyleaf) and Goldenfern (Lionblaze)

-since both Moth and Acorn are their Clan's only medicine cat neither can join the other's clan so Moth takes Swan and Acorn takes Golden

-a good 7 moon timeskip between arc 2 book 5 and arc 3 book 1

3rd arc (Power of Three):

-Protags are Mothwing (RiverClan, book 1), Crowstorm (WindClan, book 2), Goldenfern (ThunderClan, book 3), Littlecloud (ShadowClan, book 4), Swanblaze (RiverClan, book 5)

-[Everything that follows happens between TPB and the beginning of PO3]

-Since there's no "medicine cats cant have kits or mates" rule its common knowledge that Swan and Golden are Moth and Acorn's kits

-On RiverClan's side Graymist (who becomes a queen earlier here for the sake of convenience) nursed Swan alongside Sneeze and Mallow. Besides the feeding Swan spent most of her time hanging around and playing with Motha

-On ThunderClan's side, since Rosepetal is the medicine cat apprentice, Leafpool nurses and raises Golden. The entire Clan treats him like their kit though, especially his aunts Tawnystorm and Squirrelflight

-[Everything that happens this point happens in the actual arc]

-The 3 are Swanblaze, Goldenfern, and Crowstorm (Night and Feather's adopted son. He counts as part of the 3 bc Redtail (Sand's father) was half WindClan in this rewrite and his WindClan father also had Night and Crow's mother

-While both Swan and Golden knew they had a sibling in another Clan, they didnt officially meet until their 2nd gathering, when Moth and Acorn intoduced them to eachother

-Swanpaw met Crowpaw when Crow was chasing a rabbit and couldn't stop himself from falling into the river.

-Mothwing, who had taken Swanpaw on an outing to help her collect herbs, ended up saving him and bringing him back to camp while they waited for WindClan to come back and get him

-While Crow is intended to be Jayfeather's replacement here, he isn't blind. He is, however, deaf. He's still training to be a warrior though bc fuck canon

-Night, Feather, and Crow developed a sort of cat sign language they spread to WindClan to help make it easier for Crow

-It eventually ended up spreading to Bramble and Moth, who spread it to their Clans

-Different powers and shit

-Swan has a sort of foresight. She can tell whats going to happen a few moments before it happens. While she brushes it off as good instincts, when she develops it more later in the series her foresight stretches up to a moon in advance

-Golden still has super strength. He aint invincible tho cuz that was a horeible plot point

-Crow can see and speak to ghosts in the living world. Not just StarClan or dead cats, but any dead animal. If he wants to speak to a dead fox he 100% can

-The 3 still know about the prophecy due to Swan training as a med cat and accidently getting it (She eventually ends up dropping it and Willowshine becomes the med app instead)

-Sol comes in and then the eclipse happens

-Golden and Crow are 100% ready to trust this strange cat they met 2 days ago but Swan is like yo dudes wtf

-That whole plot point happens, Sol tries to go to ShadowClan, but Blackstar tells him to fuck off so he does

-Swanpaw ends up accidently killing him (tried to threaten him into leaving the Clans alone using the dunk and let breathe method, ended up drowning him). The guilt she feels from it is what causes her to drop being a medicine cat apprentice and become a warrior.

-Ashfur still had a crush on Squirrel and is extremely jealous of Tawny. He tries the whole fire scene thing with Haynose, but before he's even halfway done with his monologue he stops for 3 seconds, looks around him, and realizes just what the fuck he's trying to do

-He helps Squirrel and Hay out of the fire, apologizes profusely, and turns himself in to Sandstar, accepting whatever punishment she gives him

-Bramble 100% visits both Hay and Swan at least once a week. Sand and Stone have realized by now that stopping him wont work so they just allow it

-There's no huge gathering scene this time because there isn't a big secret to tell

-The arc does end, however, with Swan finding Stonestar's lifeless body laying in his den

4th arc (Omen of the Stars):

-[NOTE: This section is unfinished due to lack of ideas]

-The whole Stonestar's dead body thing is going to be addressed, but i just dont have any ideas for that so its not addressed for now

- Dove and Ivy are both spoiled rotten by their aunts and grandparents

-As such Dove gains a sorta "entitled" attitude. Like not full tantrum entitled, but getting moody/snappy when she doesnt get what she wants

-Ivy is the same way, just a bit less snapping and a bit more silent treatment

-Brambleflower!!!! Has kits!!! With Rowanclaw!!!

-Yes, I am a big fan of the trans Rowanclaw hc

-I am giving Bramble Tawny's canon mate

-why?

-bc its what he deserves

-Anyway, Their kits are Brindlekit/heart (Tigerheart), Dawnkit/shade (Dawnpelt), and Russetkit/tail (Flametail), who I am aging down bc in canon these 3 already have their full names

-Tawny and Squirrel 100% babysit from time to time

-Dark forest trainees stay the same, but this time add in Dovewing, Bumblestripe and Briarlight

-Haven't read, unable to make an outline

-Briarlight didnt make it in time to push Longtail out of the way, so Briarlight isnt paralyzed and Longtail is dead

-Bumblestripe still has a crush on Dovewing, but is way more lowkey and less "creepy" about it

-Swanblaze becomes mates with Minnowtail

-Acornleaf dies in the Last Hope

-So do Brambleflower, Goldenfern, Honeyfur, Graymist, Spiderleg, Applefur, Olivenose, Redwillow, Ferretclaw, Tallpoppy, Whitetail, Heathertail, Reedwhisker, Robinwing, Mosspelt, Pouncetail, and Dovewing

5th arc (A Vision of Shadows):

-[NOTE: This section is empty due to me not having finished this arc.]

6th arc (The Broken Code):

-[NOTE: This section is empty due to me not having read this arc]

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

[leolynn]

youre gonna hear about it anyway

alright firstly i should say that this is a less-than-half-developed-fantasy story that ive been thinking about since. three years ago. lots of things have changed from when i first started imagining it vs now. and it obviously still needs some work. it is VERY LONG and this is like the barest of bones. uh. enjoy. feel free to ask questions. yuh

In the great land of Fesmery, two young magicians are brought to study at the castle. There, Samwise and Estella, befriend the princess, Adraline. The three do everything together. The princess is never jealous of their powers, and loves watching Estella show off everything she's learned. Samwise and Estella are the most powerful magicians of their age. They rival only each other.

As they grow older, Samwise and Estella fall in love. Turns out, they're truly each other's match in every way. Princess Adraline meets a young soldier named Jakob, that she soon makes her prince. But Estella becomes jealous of Adraline's political power, and nothing Samwise says can stop her from leaving the castle in a fit.

For months, Samwise leads search parties. For years, he waits for her to come back. He isolates himself, pouring himself into his magic. Adraline mourns the loss of her best friends.

When Adraline and Jakob become Queen of Fesmery and Prince Consort, thats when Estella finally returns. She comes dressed in black robes. She comes with an army.

Thousands of wizards and farmers and village people and jealous nobles attack the castle, full with celebrating commoners and royals alike. Samwise tries to talk it out. He misses Estella. She could still come home. But theres no hope. Estella is gone to rage and jealousy. Many lose their lives. Adraline's parents don't make it.

Luckily, Adraline is safe and Jakob and his soldiers are able to push back the intruders until Estella is forced to retreat.

Unbeknownst to Estella and her army, Adraline is pregnant. She fears for the life of her unborn child, and confides in Samwise. He immediately gets to work, searching for answers and solutions in his spell books and runes.

When it comes time that Adraline can no longer hide her pregnancy, they release the news to the people. The cities celebrate, excited to have a new royal to carry on their great kingdom's legacy. When Estella hears of this she becomes enraged. She wants Adraline dead. She wants all of them dead. She gathers her cultists and they plot. They plan to wait until Adraline is nearly due to give birth to attack once more. And this time. There will be. No. Survivors.

Shes had plenty of time to plan. Plenty of time to grow her army. Plenty of time to work on her spells and bend the rules of magic. She IS the most powerful magician.

of course when Adraline gives birth, that's when Estella's army attacks. In the chaos, she delivers a baby girl. She names her Elizabeth. Elizabeth is rushed to near safety by the nursemaids. Adraline gives birth to a baby boy. She names him Leonardo. Leonardo is given to Samwise before Adraline can even hold him. He uses his powers to open a portal to a brand new world.

There, they hope, Leonardo will grow up to be the great hero Fesmery needs. Someday he will return, and take the throne for himself and protect the kingdom from adversaries like Estella.

That is not what happens. More on that later.

The twins are safe. Adraline is weak from labor, but Jakob is there to protect her until his dying breath.

And he does.

Adraline screams out as Estella's spell kills Jakob, begging, pleading with her former friend. She begs Samwise to kill Estella. She begs Samwise to protect her children. He Swears to her as Adraline takes her last breath. He curses Estella, but even still he loves her.

They're the only two left. No one else rivals them. When the dust clears. Only one of them is left standing.

Samwise is left without his love. Without his friend. Without his queen. But he has hope. He has hope that Adraline's children will grow up to protect Fesmery with the same passion and love that he did.

He buries Jakob. He buries Adraline. And he buries Estella.

But he raises Elizabeth as if she's his own. She becomes a beautiful girl and a beautiful young woman. She sits in on council meetings after Samwise defects his unwanted political power to elected nobles. They often ignore her, as she's just a girl, but someday she will be queen.

That is, unless the whispers of a brother are true. Or they're all a royal conspiracy.

And there's still political unrest throughout the kingdom. The council members may have been elected, but they're selfish people too. They're politicians, after all. The kingdom is unhappy, and there are not enough resources to go around. Some turn to rebellion. Some turn back to Estella.

Now. Its very difficult to bring someone back from the dead. But with enough magicians, moonslight and blood, its possible. And Estella's cult grows every day.

Elizabeth's 20th birthday is nearing, and she's so excited to finally be taken seriously as she becomes an adult. Her friends, the children of council members and royal guards, celebrate with her in the garden. They laugh and talk and whisper of the things they want to change when Eliza, as they call her, finally gets the political power she deserves. Samwise has taught her as much as he knows. She sees him as a father, friend, and mentor. He wants whats best for her.

But the council wants her gone.

Many of the council members have secret ties to Estella's cult. They devise a plot to be rid of her. The rumors of her twin fuel their fire. Almost as a mockery, they plan to use the same supposed spell used to save the secret prince, to send Elizabeth to another world.

Adraline and Samwise hoped that sending Leonardo to another world would prepare him for the horrors of their own. He'd come back a hero. He'd be strong and fit and brave and smart.

Leo. is none of those things.

Leo grew up in the foster care system. Which basically means he's incredibly damaged. He's skinny and didn't do well in school and works at a skate shop at the moment, but his attendance hasn't been great. He's dating a guy but Leo has once again strained their relationship because he can't stay away from drugs and alcohol. And his coworkers don't care for him much either.

Definitely not the hero.

Samwise tried his best to prepare Elizabeth for whatever she could encounter. But he didn't prepare her for Leo.

They came for her in the middle of the night. They performed the ritual and cast her through the portal. Amazingly, two of her friends, Ainsley and Antonio, were able to go through with her.

Ainsley's mother is captain of the royal guard. She's been trained in combat her whole life. Ainsley herself prefers art, rather than war, but she's pretty damn good at both. Antonio's father is on the council. Together, the friends find their way to Leonardo's skate shop.

He cannot tell if he's high off his balls, or if he's really seeing what he's seeing. These three are Not dressed like normal people. Not even in a cool alternative way, like his coworker, Baz.

And Elizabeth. Its like staring into a mirror. The same dark curls, freckles and their mother's deep brown eyes. Its incredible.

This is also where Leo's boyfriend, Riley, comes in. He's mad because Leo won't answer his texts. Leo's phone is dead. Leo's also busy having this weird girl tell him they're royal twins separated across universes and they need to unite to foil the council's evil plan of resurrecting the witch that killed their parents.

thats a lot to take in.

obviously. Leo does not believe them. Obviously. Baz is about to call the cops. Until Antonio reopens the portal and Eliza begs Leo to come through with her.

He figures he has nothing better to do. Baz demands that if Leo gets to go, they and Riley should get to come with. Eliza and her companions agree to let the extra two people through.

When they arrive on the other side, they learn through the village people that Samwise has also been exiled. They must find him. What could these kids do without him, the most powerful wizard in Fesmery.

The six start their journey, seeing parts of Fesmery none of them have ever seen before, and beginning new friendships. they talk to townspeople along the way, and Eliza is heartbroken to hear about what her subjects lack. She figures that with better planning, the council could've spread the resources fairly. She realizes she must be the only one with any power who actually cares.

Eliza confides in her brother. Its easy for her to talk about her feelings. She's been in love with Ainsley for as long as she can remember, but she has no idea where to go with those feelings. She'd much rather pine than risk losing her best friend.

For Leo, its always been the opposite. Riley means so much to him, but opening up is too hard. He'd rather lose the love of his life and blame it on himself than change for the better.

They sleep around campfires and under the stars and in trees and barns. They eat whatever they can find. They reserve their magic and their energy and they slowly make their way to Samwise's hidden cabin.

He's overjoyed to see Elizabeth. And hes so proud of her that she was able to find Leonardo. Leo feels like a disappointment. He's not all they had hoped he would be. He had never had someone's hope resting on his shoulders before. And it felt like he was letting them all down.

Elizabeth asks Samwise what he plans to do next.

He confesses that his magic is weakening and weakening. He's afraid that by the time Estella's cult finally raises her from the dead, his power will be completely gone. Magic is like a muscle. He's long past his prime and his body is sick. He cannot face Estella again.

Everyone looks to Leo. He's the foretold hero! He's the one everyone has waited decades for! Hes. Really fuckin bad at magic.

He can't cast a spell for shit. Even simple ones. He can't make a broom stand up, much less sweep the wooden cabin floors. Elizabeth watches Samwise and Antonio train her brother. She's losing faith in him rapidly. But she puts on her best face and shouts encouragements when the broom handle shudders under Leo's weak spell.

Taking a break from magic lessons, Ainsley attempts to teach everyone how to swordfight. Baz is a natural, and Leo is surprisingly good. Riley takes up archery. Hes a decent shot, but he misses Leo every time he takes aim.

Elizabeth sits with Samwise. They watch the others sword fight as the suns go down over the fields. She stretches her hand out toward the broom handle, just like Samwise had taught Leo to do. And the broom moved. It swept across the grass and trampled flowers. And then it kept sweeping until her friends noticed and started celebrating. Samwise started training with Elizabeth immediately.

Leo's been keeping a stash of pills, just a little something something to keep him going. Hes running low now. Soon he'll have nothing left.

Samwise fears their time is running short. The moons are almost in the right formation for Estella's cultists to revive her. He sends the young friends on their way once again.

This journey is even more dangerous than before. As they reach the edge of the kingdom, they beware raiders, creatures and worst of all: Antonio.

Antonio likes to be smooth. He's effortless and flirty. He knows exactly what he's doing and he will use everything to his advantage. It's driving Riley insane. They constantly bicker and Leo sides with Antonio. As much as he loves Riley, Antonio just sounds like he knows better.

Finally, Riley blows up at Leo. and finally. Leo runs out of pills to take. He's forced through agonizing withdrawal and he's forced to sort through his feelings all at once. He breaks down. He wants Riley to leave him because he doesn't feel worth a damn. He doesn't think he can ever be good enough for Riley. He tells him he Loves him, but he's terrified that if he actually tried. He still wouldn't be enough.

Riley tells him that hes enough. He may not be cool like Antonio or badass like Baz or magical like Eliza. But Riley tries so hard to be there for Leo. And really. Thats all he wants in return.

The next time that Antonio tries to flirt with Leo. Riley tells him to shut the fuck up.

Leo notices the more time he goes without substances, the stronger his magic feels. He's getting better and better, stronger and stronger.

The next day Baz and Ainsley chat about Eliza, and Baz tells her that they've noticed the way they look at each other. Ainsley brushes it off. They're just friends, that's all they'll ever be. Even if Ainsley was into Eliza (which she'll admit, she is), she'd never be able to Be with the princess. She's just a daughter of a guard. And Elizabeth would need an heir to pass the throne onto. It's just too complicated. It would never work.

But Baz reminds her that tomorrow isn't promised. Their life has been upended in just a few days. If they make it back home, they plan to tell the girl they like the truth about everything and beg her for just one date. What could Ainsley possibly lose by trying?

they wake up one morning and their food is ruined. Their weapons and supplies are destroyed. Antonio is gone.

They assume he's been kidnapped, but would they not have woken up if there was a struggle? Nonetheless they start to search for him. Their time is short, they have a day left until the moons are in the right position. But Antonio is their friend.

They find him.

Well. Actually. He finds them. Him and his army of Estella's cultists. He betrays them, letting his father and the council members tie up Eliza, Leo, Riley, Ainsley, and Baz. The cultists begin their ritual.

Everyone's blood is shed and poured over the pile of bones and once the ritual is complete, Estella stands before them, half beautiful as she was in life and half grotesque creature of the undead.

Suddenly, the royal guard arrive, lead by Samwise. Eliza and her friends are able to break through their bonds while the cultists are distracted. Leo and Eliza join their powers together and start fighting. Ainsley and Baz were able to grab weapons from the wounded, and soon enough the entire ritual site became a battleground.

Estella laughed and threatened the twins and their friends, they're nothing but weak kids! They don't deserve the powers that they have. Magical or political.

But it doesn't matter if they're weak. They're right. They're Just. and since they have power, they're going to do good with it.

The twins join their powers once more, and Elizabeth delivers the final blow. Estella is bones once more. The royal guard arrest the corrupt council members.

The young heroes are able to rest. They travel to the castle, this time in a carriage rather than on foot. They spend the night in the castle. Antonio spends the night in prison with his father.

Ainsley and Eliza confess their love to each other.

Samwise teaches Leo and Eliza a spell. Together, the three of them make amulets that let the wearer open a portal to the other's world. They're free to travel between worlds so long as their magic is healthy.

After a warm goodbye and plenty of tears, Leo, Riley and Baz travel home. Baz tells their friend Katie that they like her (She likes them too). And they all lived happily ever after. or something like that.

DO YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY ORIGINAL STORY

[sage-nebula]

THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 2 TRAILER BREAKDOWN

I’ve already watched the trailer once, and my mind just about exploded, so now I’m watching it again and I’m going to basically liveblog it with reactions, analyses, thoughts, and other such things. Everything will be beneath the cut for those who don’t wish to see, and also because I feel like this is going to get pretty long.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I would die and kill for Azymondias. Literally he is the most precious being in this entire show and I would do anything for him, sweet baby boy.

But speaking of dragons . . .

I STAN TWO DRAGONS. Okay, no, but real talk:

In the voiceover for this part, Viren says:

“There have been reports of shadows in the clouds. Dragons! Flying high above the towns of Katolis!”

I’m . . . suspicious.

I know that this voiceover is given with the shot of this beautiful dragon flying overhead, but here’s the thing: We see them flying over Soren’s head:

Soren may or may not still be in Katolis in this shot. Soren and Claudia are following Callum, Rayla, Ezran, and Azymondias. Those four are headed into Xadia. We don’t know when they’ll make it to Xadia, but it’s possible they do make it there, or at least near there, and that’s when this shot takes place. It’s possible this dragon isn’t above Katolis at all, but is instead somewhere far closer (and maybe even over) the border.

And that would make sense. Why would the dragons be going to Katolis now? The moonshadow elves were the ones sent to take vengeance on behalf of the dragon queen, and Runaan sent his arrow telling her that Harrow was dead. I suppose you could argue that since they never received word of Ezran’s death they’re now sending dragons to scout and look for the assassins, but I find that unlikely. In my opinion, if they were going to go after Katolis themselves, they would have done that first, rather than sending the moonshadow elves. I simply don’t see a motivation for the dragons to fly over Katolis now.

More importantly, though, is what Viren says. He says there are “reports of shadows in the clouds.” He then says that those shadows are dragons. Here’s the thing: shadows could be anything. They could be birds. They could be some other sort of flying creature, and hell, they could even be more clouds, with the way the sun plays on them. But Viren knows that the people of Katolis are currently in a state of fear and unrest since Harrow was assassinated and the princes are missing. He wants the throne, and one way to get it is to have the people themselves insist on putting him on it because there are no other options and they’re scared. And what’s scarier to the people of Katolis than massive dragons in the sky? No one has seen any actual dragons (and you’d think they’d be pretty hard to miss), but people have seen shadows that Viren has now made them think are dragons, and so every single time they see a shadow, they’ll flinch. To me, it sounds an awful lot like Viren is trying to stir up fear in order to get a popular vote to put him on the throne whether the princes die by Soren’s hand or not. Him going on to say:

“And Sunfire Elves are gathering near the border. An invasion is imminent!”

Only serves to stoke the fires (pardon the pun) of that fire. Presumably, elves were already near the border, which is why Amaya and her troops are there. But Viren is acting like this is a new development, and him doing that is made to further stir up fear among the people. Moreover, Viren saying that the Sunfire Elves being near the border means impending invasion is also a way to subtly undermine Amaya; she’s there guarding the border, but he’s basically saying that she’ll be ineffective in stopping the Sunfire Elves. Since he’s in a position of authority as well, and since he’s already making the people terrified, this serves to plant the idea (at least in the public subconscious) that Amaya isn’t strong enough to stop things on her own, thus they need Viren and his leadership.

Meanwhile, as he says “we must be prepared to fight!” Amaya is already fighting and has been prepared for a long time now. Also, on that note, I DON’T KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR HERE. I LOVE AMAYA BUT ALSO THAT SUNFIRE ELF LOOKS AMAZING AHHHHHH

Amaya may be fighting at the border and Gren may be in the dungeon, but Opeli is carrying on the message of wanting to find the princes. I think the Amaya/Opeli shippers may be onto something tbh.

AARAVOS? IS THAT YOU??

More importantly, the voiceover we get at that part (is that Lujanne? I plan to rewatch s1 before s2 releases but I haven’t done it yet) at that part says “dark forces are pursuing you.” We see Aaravos and Viren, but if that is Lujanne (particularly since it’s followed by Rayla saying “Nooobody likes dark forces”), then that leads me to think she’s actually referring to Soren and Claudia, which would make sense since Claudia is the dark magic prodigy willing to torture people to get what she wants instead of giving them quick, merciful deaths.

Also, this shot of Viren:

He gathered up the fire around him, but I think it’s relevant that this shot followed the shot of Aaravos using fire magic as well, given what we learned in Aaravos’ bio on the website today:

The ability to gather up the fire like that might have been a gift that Aaravos gave to Viren. But why? Why would an elf bequeath a gift like that unto a human, and particularly one that sees magical beings as being batteries for power? Particularly one who seals moonshadow elves into coins? Hmm . . . that poem that we were given might have something to do with it . . . we’ll supposedly find the rest “hidden in season two” . . .

HE JUST FLIPS HIS FOOD ONTO BAIT’S HEAD AND AVA’S LIKE “what r u doin” AND AZYMONDIAS IS JUST AMUSED SDJFKSLDJFDS EVEN WHEN HE’S TECHNICALLY BEING NAUGHTY I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S SO PRECIOUS

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of people freaking out about Aanya’s safety in this scene, but here’s the thing:

They’re not attacking her. 

Aanya does look freaked out and scared, but these elves aren’t attacking her. If they wanted to attack her, they’d do it. She’s right there. Her neck isn’t covered by armor. They could kill her if they wanted to, but they’re not. Instead, it looks like they’re moving to fight someone in front of her, which leaves us two possibilities: Either they think that there’s a bigger threat right in front of them than the tiny human queen on the throne, or they’re defending her from what they see as the bigger threat (which gives more credence to my idea that Aanya might have elf allies on her side). It’s possible that the reason why Aanya is freaking out is because she didn’t expect them to be able to transform like that, and not because they’re elves with weapons in her throne room.

More worrying, though, is their appearance. That’s not how moonshadow elves look under the light of the full moon. Their eyes didn’t glow red like that. They weren’t completely black like that. Could this be how they look under a new moon? I guess . . . but these elves also look kind of similar to the ones that were killed in the King Harrow assassination attempt, so I’d say it’s also possible that these are zombie elves. If that’s the case, and if these aren’t Aanya’s friends, then might it be possible that this is a trick by Viren made to make the rulers of the other kingdoms see Xadia as even more of a threat than they did previously? HMMM . . .

I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR HIM.

Okay, so here’s the thing: The voiceover for this part is Callum saying:

“I want to learn primal magic. But you have to be born with that magic inside you.”

I feel like the fact that we have that voiceover with these clips is significant. I think it’s significant, too, that Lujanne is showing such a blatantly elven magic thing to Callum instead of Rayla. I think we might see potential this season for Callum to find out that he does have some primal magic inside him. I’m not saying “half-elf Callum” but . . . I’m not not saying that, you feel me? (And what if that’s what Harrow’s letter to Callum was? What if he was telling Callum of his inherent magical ability, and asking him to use that inherent ability---rather than dark magic---to help Ezran be king? HMMM . . .)

However, then we get this bit from Claudia:

“That’s the great thing about dark magic! You just take creatures that are born with that magic inside, and . . . squeeze it out of them!”

YEAH, BIG MOOD, CALLUM.

See, this is what I’ve been saying about Claudia and dark magic this entire time. Everyone wants to peg Claudia as a sweet cinnamon roll because she’s quirky and funny and loves her brother, but the thing is . . . where Soren was going to give Runaan a quick, arguably merciful death, Claudia instead ordered him to be tied up because she thought she could get “more use” out of him. She wanted to drain him dry of his magic, even though that meant chaining him up in the dungeon and killing him slowly (and he later had his soul drained, screaming). Claudia believes Viren that Azymondias’ egg is a thing, and she sees it as a powerful weapon. Why? Because Azymondias is a dragon, presumably, and dragons are incredibly powerful. Even here, look at the expression on her face as she squeezes her book, listen to the tone of her voice and what she says; Claudia thinks it’s great to kill magical beings and take their magic for her own use. She gets enjoyment and pleasure out of it.

Comparisons could be made between this and killing animals for food. What’s the difference between killing a cow to get a stake, and killing an elf to get their magic? The difference is the necessity. People need to eat. If they don’t eat, they’ll starve. And if people need to eat meat for protein or other dietary reasons, they need to kill a cow to get that meat. (Or a chicken, or a deer, or an elk, or whatever else.) But humans, even in this universe, don’t need to use magic. It’s not necessary for their survival. Eating is, but dark magic isn’t. It certainly isn’t to the extent that Claudia uses it, for pranks and making pancakes. Claudia delights in the torture and death of magical creatures for her own personal convenience. She doesn’t have to do the things she does---she could just make normal pancakes like a normal person---but she chooses to, and she likes it, she promotes it as being great. But it isn’t, and Callum’s reaction here tells us that, even in this world, Claudia’s behavior and attitude in this arena is out of the ordinary. And before anyone blames this on Viren, no. Viren taught her dark magic originally, yes, but Claudia is sixteen. She’s old enough to know right from wrong, to think and make decisions for herself, and her reaction to Viren telling her to sacrifice Soren tells us that she does recognize when Viren says things she disagrees with. Claudia’s opinions and behavior with regards to dark magic are entirely her own. Her complete disregard for the lives of magical beings, and her willingness to torture their magic out of them for her own personal convenience and gain, is entirely her own.

Does Claudia have elements of sweetness in her toward those she loves? Sure.

But she’s still incredibly dangerous and has a sadistic side to her as well. As Aaron Ehasz said, if she was a bender in the Avatar universe, she’d be a bloodbender.

TAKE HIM DOWN, RAYLA! KICK HIS ASS, BABY, I GOT YO’ BRAID!!!!

Oh nooooo, what is happening here. My first thought was that perhaps Callum just learned of Harrow’s death, but in that case I find it strange that we don’t have Ezran in this shot as well. So perhaps, since we know that Soren and Claudia catch up to them, Claudia gives Callum the letter that Harrow wrote for him, Callum read it . . . and that’s what leads to this. ;A;

I STAN A QUEEN.

THAT LOOKS LIKE QUEEN SARAI ON THAT HORSE. And that person on the back . . .

THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE VIREN.

So here are my thoughts: We know that King Thunder was known for protecting the border. Whenever humans tried to cross, Thunder fended them off. My thought is that Viren crossed the border to poach more magical creatures for use in his dark magic spells. After all, magical creatures aren’t native to the human kingdoms, so the only place he could get them is within Xadia. When Viren crossed the border, this angered Thunder, and Thunder did what he always did: He attacked in order to defend the Xadians (which, considering Viren likely wanted to poach them for dark magic, is fair).

Now, here’s where Sarai comes in: Either Viren convinced Sarai to take him across the border in the first place, or Sarai found out what he was doing somehow and ran in to rescue him. Either way, she got him on the back of her horse and together they fled from Thunder’s attack. But whether Thunder was directly attacking them or trying to fend them off doesn’t really matter much when he’s causing lightning to crash down around them. Their horse was only a horse, and likely it got scared. There’s a very high probability that they were both thrown from the horse. Viren sustained permanent injury in his leg, and Sarai was killed. This is what led to Harrow, in his griefstricken rage, deciding to slay Thunder.

I know a lot of people will read that and will decide that the moonshadow elves were not justified in killing Harrow, then, because Thunder killed Sarai first, but if you think that, I ask you to look at this hypothetical scenario again. Thunder only retaliated to drive humans—at least one of whom wanted to poach and therefore kill Thunder’s people for dark magic—out of Xadia. Thunder wouldn’t leave the border; he was always there to defend it. Viren is the one who instigated this conflict if this scenario pans out, not Thunder. That doesn’t mean it was all right for Sarai to die—she was a casualty in this—but it does mean that if anyone “started it,” it was Viren.

And do you know who else I think holds this opinion? Amaya.

This would explain Amaya’s mistrust of Viren: she blames him for Sarai’s death. Viren was the one who decided to cross the border, either necessitating Sarai’s rescue or goading Sarai to go with him. Either way, it was not something that needed to be done. But he did it anyway, and Sarai died for it. There’s a possibility that Amaya even believes this was premeditated on Viren’s part, that he wanted Sarai to die so that he could have a stronger voice in Harrow’s ear. Whether or not that’s true, though, I do think Amaya would blame Viren for Sarai’s death in this scenario, which would perfectly explain why she doesn’t trust or like him at all.

(Also, while I think that Viren would cross to poach magical creatures, it’s also possible that he crossed because he found out that the dragon queen had an egg, and that he wanted to steal Azymondias’ egg from the get-go. Claudia said that Viren views it as a weapon, and we know that Viren himself views it as more valuable than his own son. If Thunder retaliated against Viren and Sarai so fiercely, it could be because Viren wasn’t only there to poach creatures, but that Viren was caught trying to steal Azymondias’ egg, which caused Thunder to retaliate even more harshly than he ordinarily would have. In that case, Viren would goad Harrow to kill Thunder not just out of retaliation, but also so he could have another shot at stealing the egg, which he then did. It’s something to think about, anyway.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOO ;A;

UMMMMM? CALLUM???? IS THAT DARK MAGIC I SEE? ARE YOU DOING DARK MAGIC????

I am . . . SO upset if this is Callum using dark magic like I think it is. Like how DARE he, how DARE he do that. I really, really hope this is some kind of misdirect, or that he immediately regrets his decision, but Callum, CALLUM, how DARE you, Callum, how DARE you!!!!

“EAT HIM, DRAGON!!” I scream, knowing full well that this is the same dead dragon that we saw Ezran by just moments ago. (Note that I don’t hate Soren, but it’s just that if his opponents are Rayla or a dragon, I’m going to root for them and not him.)

All in all, my head is spinning, my mind is blown, and I was already hyped through the roof but now I’m even more so. SEASON TWO. SEASON TWO CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH.

[ohnoguysifuckedrightup]

beeps

:readmore

was gonna write in the journal and itll be transferred soonish, but i think so much time and energy and movement of self that would have been spent considering who i am was instead spent on trying to get people to like me. i had a very cold and fearful life for such a long time. no monumental tragedy or great obstacle to overcome, but just every single day there were threats and so many people who might scream or hurt me, and every day for years and years i just thought about what i could be to escape their ridicule, postpone their wrath, and gain some kind of acceptance. so i never thought of who i might be. never cared for what i wanted, and drove myself insane trying to think of what would be worth my life. i concluded that i had to do something practical and good for people with no chance of failure and with maximum effect. i planned to try to put a dent in world hunger, burned myself out, and then hated myself for years. and then i was 23. i only really had time to realize i liked men at like 17 when i was in highschool and when i tried to talk to a family member and my girlfriend at the time, both shut it down immediately. my cousin i wasnt too surprised at, i mean he had only told my sister he was bi, not me, but when my girlfriend shut me down when i started to tell her, she just shut it down. that one hurt me deeply and i didnt recover really until like two years later when i told a new partner who was very proud to be a pansexual person. still so much of me was burnt out with college and i let myself drift so far and further. then by the time i started realizing more, it had become too late, there was no time i thought. there is time, not now, not never. but there is time.

there wont be time tomorrow but when im there, there will be time enough at last. theres time right now, to write and process. to write the process is the only way i find i can process. and to write and process takes time. and takes all the time i need.

has to. if i dont write a rambling, flowing, jarring, jaunty diary entry better addressed to a therapist than a slice of journal or some poor hard drive, if i dont do the long form with the

fuck i dont know how i changed the text color of that last paragraph abd i dont know how to undo it

if i dont do the long form with the space to let the medium tickle my withered, dehydrated cortex long since amputated from the part of me capable of witicism, then i will never explore myself. never finger pockets of my consciousness like camus' allegory, never trace the lines of braille in my brain i cant read, never feel the texture of patterns etched in my mind, never feel a dull corner of something meant to sit and be a hearty piece of home.

so ill do this and do this and do this and unlock memories of being a child reckoning with myself in the world. ill remember the hours and hours i thought of death in church. ill remember the way i felt when i tried to think if myself and couldnt, and ill remember the notes i would have written down in a hurry if i could have,

because thats all this examination would be if i tried to do what i could as fast as possible, a note

ive got hundreds of notes, little ends of miles-long threads, all tucked away ready to be pulled and all so quickly forgotten, so easily left undisturbed

so easily their charges left undisputed

so many long thoughts that were meant to fulfil their duty, these thoughts all had sacred callings and were left on read, left in an archive unnavigable by a dumb bitch like me. sewing machine in the corner, guitar on the hook, books in shelves. they all gather dust. dusk falls and i whither and rot without their refreshment.

but i take steps now and can go on walking down this line. walking for myself and not carrying the burdensome duty of some person who never existed except by my own hand, drawn to specifications i had little say in until all thoughts of myself were thoroughly burned, extinguished, and buried.

so we write for as long as we need, until we can see where each of us ends and where we never can. ill write until i find my i love yous. ill write like a million monkeys at type writers until i find the page that just says i love you and the real story can follow thereafter

so it goes on and on and on

and so i go on and on

cest la vie

and life goes on

[flame-cat]

YDYD episode one

below the cut are all events of importance that transpired, preserved so that others may learn from the fallen gods’ mistakes

DAY 1 michael immediately falls out of a tree while everyone is gathering wood and apples and such ryan is the first to craft tools geoff builds a lean-to in the side of a mountain after an argument about what a lean-to even is ryan finds a hole michael nearly gets blown up by a creeper, but is in the water so he doesnt die ryan has a successful run-in with a creeper in the hole trevor begins building a farm in the pond next to the lean-to. jack argues with him about how to build it gavin: "who do you think will die first?" michael: "alfredo." everyone agrees aside from geoff, who says lindays gonna die first. she doesnt disagree. michael isnt sure jeremy builds beds for everyone in the lean-to, with alfredo's help in collecting the wool (he did NOT help much) trevor: "hey. alfredo. hey." alfredo: "yeah?" trevor: "waddaya say we just.... get outta here?" "lets both... start our own lean-to, yknow what im sayin?" "here we go. while theyre not lookin, lets book." michael: "while theyre not looking- i dunno what the FUCK alfredos talkin about." everyone is perfectly aware of this development and dont try to stop them at all the twins find sheep. trevor is very excited about this lindsay: "what the fuck you two twins doin over here? stop touchin each other." geoff accidentally destroys the "sap of life" night comes. jack calls everyone back to the hovel. ryan is impressed with said hovel despite earlier shenanigans, the twins come back to go to bed ryan is still in his hole, alone, not knowing where the hovel is, because hes obsessed with cooking his irons i guess. too many irons in the fire geoff suggests a dead pool. everyone emphatically condones this ryan, ALMOST back: "oh god, i hear them." everyone makes it to bed jack congratulates everyone on surviving the first night. DAY 2 alfredo steals jeremys crafting table ryan nearly falls in a deadly hole in a desert michael, next to two block deep water: "careful, gavin. you could drown" geoff is about to follow ryan into a new hole ryan has a dangerous run-in with a skeleton, taken down to three hearts. he abandons the hole jack changes his vote from alfredo to ryan. lindsay approves of ryans running away tactics everyone basically just beats up animals and collects shit. sex jokes are made jack: "who put a tree on top of the house?" lindsay: "me. hi. dont touch my tree." michael wants "sap of life" gavin wants "tree of hope" lindsay just wants her husbands to stop fighting trevor changes his bed covers from white to black, because hes an edgy high schooler i guess ryan and geoff are lost jeremy finds a village. michael says to kill the inhabitants and take their shit geoff finds trevor alfredo spends some time being hopelessly incompetent jack is also mining and wants coal alfredo is proud of his shovel trevor threatens gavin with a beating because gavin doesnt like his one-on-one thing gavin apologises after being a cheeky fuck about it ryan returns with an iron chestplate. gavin is upset that he did that before making everyone iron swords. ryan says he needed the armor to get more iron trevor tries to goad alfredo into jumping into a river from the top of a cliff. they dont do it lindsay calls in the stragglers alfredo falls in a hole in the dark, takes out half his health. he is very scared and freaks everyone out. he gets back fine the tree of hope is grown apparently alfredo also got shot in the back. jeremy michael and ryan herd him back inside for the night. poor boy gavin is about to be locked out by jack, who notices hes being chased by a zombie. hes putting torches in the area around the hovel. ryan watches and makes sure he gets in ok and they cant sleep because gavin brought the zombie to them everyone gets up to help, jack advises them to stay put. ryan deals with it since hes the most equipped. he takes minimal damage the gang finally sleeps michael: "ok, nobody do any funny business in the middle of the night." "where are my pants?" DAY 3 ryan: "theres creepers everywhere." jeremy: "theres two thatre-" *hissssss* "piSSED AT-" *boom!* "Me.... theyre gone." michael takes 2.5 hearts of damage from a creeper from behind jack takes .5 damage dealing with the creepers. its the first time hes been damaged so far gavin is writing a diary on the wall with signs. "dear diary- im not sure about this new world. i dont think ive made many friends yet. maybe tomorrow someone will be f-" alfredo sees the publicly displayed diary and reads it aloud, to gavins embarrassment after some apologies and laughter, gavin gets to finish in private- "THEY FOUND MY DIARY! SCATTER!" lindsay is alerted to the status of the tree of hope. "get the fUCK OUTTA MY WAy i wanna go see my kid" jeremys a fyeshin boi trevor rennovates the house. it has wood instead of dirt michael complains no one is dead yet. jack feels like he should give them more credit alfredo: "i made a STONE pickaxe!" jack: "ok, point taken michael" trevor plants some flowers outside gavin: "alfredo, why you starin at me? you wanna go down?" alfredo: "no, just wonderin what a creeper was doin in here" thems fightin words. everyone oooohs when aflredo says he feels like he could take him may 25th is the "i quit" fight i guess ryan: "ok, everyone quiet for a second." ....... "...i think i hear water near me and i wanna know where it is." gavin does some dangerous shit near a hole, a creeper blows up. after a life check, a vern comes out and takes out half of his health jack: "oh, gavin, dont be the first to die" trevor finds this hilarious before he tramples his lilacs geoff gets it mining is now the thing to be doing geoff brings a witch out of the danger cave and tries to get alfredo to kill her alfredo accidentally hits trevor when trying to mine its the first night they spend out gavin is excited about cave squid and gets hit by a creeper from behind. jeremy helps take it out a skeleton takes out a good chunk of michaels health. hes not nearly as concerned as he should be lindsay gets killed by a zombie while shes in her inventory. shes not even in a cave. geoff gets the zombie too late DEATHS- 1. FIRST BLOOD- LINDSAY michael volunteers to make her grave stone trevor and geoff are home damage control, basically just keeping alfredo safe trevor makes alfredo a sword alfredo kills his first zombie a skeleton starts to pick the home crew off so they retreat inside michael nearly dies to a skeleton in a cave near lava a skeleton starts to fuck up the home crew. alfredo has one heart when they kill it jack finds an enderman near a skeleton. half health michael is stuck at half health because hes hungry. so is jack alfredo continues to be incompetent geoff nearly gets stuck outside with zombies jeremy and gavin tag team some mobs and its pretty great the sun rises over nine made eight. DAY 4 michael and jack come home to heal up and pull the arrows out of their poor bodies jack says michael can use his iron sword better than he can and gives it to him "live together die alone" trevor gets a jack o lantern to light the way home ryan tries to argue for lindsays value. michael says shed have died anyway. alfredo thinks it was a murder jack and the twins  build a farm geoff makes the hovel bigger at the behest of jack michael gets domestic on alfredos ass jack thinks alfredo will die next. michael says both the twins. ryan thinks it will be him michael builds a perimeter of cactus and accidentally hits trevor hovel is now happy house ryan finds gold geoff puts down red carpet night two out! jeremy and ryan live underground at this point jeremy finds a skeleton with chain mail and a zombie support. hes poisoned and at half a heart. he survives and gavin comes in to help kill the witch. michael joins in and kills her in a couple hits. "patillo sends his regards" alfredo continues experimenting with crafting no jumping on the farm!!! what the fuck is alfredo building the lads find an abandoned mineshaft jack is unhappy with the house. so is alfredo gavin is unhelpful with torches when jeremy gets fucked by a spider jack gets chased by a skeleton trying to gather supplies. two hearts. he makes it back to the house with alfredo keeping the monsters at bay day breaks. DAY 5 (DON'T FALL ASLEEP) ryan finds diamond. he is now marked for death the tree of hope becomes lindsays grave "here lies lindsay. she was a good wife" its the tree of life and death gavin has armor alfredo steals michaels iron. he is fucking pissed the tree is now the tree of wife

[lightlycaustic]

songs that give me feelings: musical edition

sincerely me (dear evan hansen)

okay so this is just maybe the most upbeat song in a broadway musical?? even though 1/3 of the singers are dead? favorite parts: the intro, “KINKY”, “cause all that it takes is a little rE-IN-VENTION”, the electric guitar behind evan’s part, “mY SISTER’S HOT (what the hell)”, the lilt on “miss you dearly”

96000 (in the heights)

this is a wonderful song beginning to end that is all. favorite parts: “dollas? holla”, “yo yo yo yo yo- I’M SORRY, IS THAT AN ANSWER?”, “i never win shit”, christopher jackson, “yo ma, it’s me, check my ticket? check one, two, three”, “yall are freaks”, christopher jackson, and the absolutely amazing chaos at the end starting with the three parts overlapping to the key change and then “stop tip toeing, we’ll get the dough, and once we get going, we’re never gonna stop” i juST LOVE IT

la vie boheme (rent)

ngl ive stood on top of the coffee table in the house by myself at ten pm and just sang this at the top of my lungs. favorite parts: “wiNE AND BEER”, “dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyeeeeesss” and the organ behind it and the mock solemn tone, “yOU BET YOUR ASS TOOOOOOO LA VIE BOHEME”, “hey mister- she’s my sister!”, “bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, Pee-wee Herman”

spooky mormon hell dream (the book of mormon)

oKAY I LOVE THIS SONG. seriously its hilarious and chaotic in the best way. favorite parts: “LONG AGO WHEN I WAS FIVE I SNUCK IN THE KITCHEN LATE AT NIGHT AND ATE A DONUT WITH A MAPLE GLAZE”, the high note (and the terrible vision that i had that NIGHHHTTTTT), “nO PLEASE I DONT WANNA GO BACK”, the wHIP CRACK, “mINIONS OF HADES HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS”, “I hATe thIs SpOokY mOrmOn HeLl dREaM”, the guitar solo!!!!!!!!!, “I CANT BELIEVE JESUS CALLED ME A DICK”

the duel (natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812)

lucas steele. LUCAS STEELE. i love his voice its unique and it fits anatole so well. i love this song equally for the way it portrays the story (really well) and the way it effortlessly switches between music styles. favorite parts: “drink with me my love, for there’s fire in the sky, and there’s ice on the ground, either way, my soul will die”, “aw yeah, show me what you got” (you have to listen closely to hear this part its really quiet), “keep drinking old man, keep drinking old man, drink the whole night through”, “i used to love, i used to love, i used to be better”, “dolokhov, pour me another!”

alexander hamilton (hamilton)

no musical songs list would be complete without the song that hooked me on hamilton, which dragged me into broadway hell and resulted in a playlist on my phone entitled “im broadway trash” containing no less than 260 showtunes. favorite parts: “well the word got around, they said this kid is insane, man, took up a collection just to send him to the mainland, get your education, dont forget from whence you came, and the world’s gonna know your name, what’s your name, man?”, “see him now as he stands on the bow of a ship heading for a new land, in new york you can be a new man!”, “JUST YOU WAIITTTTTT”, “you never learned to take your- TIIIIIIIME”, “the world will never be the same WOAHHHHH” “his enemies destroyed his rep, america forgot him. we. fought with him. me. i died for him. me? i trusted him. me? i loved him. and me? im the damn fool that shot him.”, “tHERES A MILLION THINGS I HAVENT DONE BUT JUST YOU WAIIIIIIIIIIIIT what’s your name, man? ALEXANDER HAMILTON”

okay imma just leave this here. sorry for the looong posttttt reblog if you sang the lyrics in your head while reading

[adambstingus]

5 Tips To Stick With A Gym Routine Long After The Free Classes Expire

I was 15 years old, standing in front of 20 individuals two to three times my age with dumbbells at their feet, staring at me and waiting for the next instruction.

It was my first time teaching a class, and my armpit sweat stains were particularly large.

My mouth was dry, and my face was bright red.

Although I was pretty sure I had passed through puberty, my cracking voice had me doubting even that truth.

But I did it.

I gave them a badass workout, and that threw me down a career path of personal training and fitness.

Since that first class, Ive seen many new clients come through our studio doors, looking vibrant and smiling from ear to ear.

They are so excited to begin their new exercise program.

They light up with how good they’re going to look in a few short months from now.

Pretty soon, all their friends will gather around to stare at their shredded eight-packs in awe.

Then they come in for session number two, and they arrive with a little less enthusiasm.

They move with some stiffness, and they arent as excited to be there.

Then, thats it.

No session number three.

No session number four.

Theyre gone.

I cant blame them. Ive tried and failed at countless life changes.

Ive failed at routines for fitness, nutrition, meditation, visualization, blogging, stretching and so much more.

Sh*t, I changed my college major four times before I finally graduated.

As many clients disappeared over time, I realized it wasnt nutrition, squats or kettle bells that kept people from looking and feeling better.

It was willpower and self-discipline.

We know salad is probably a better option than a burger for lunch, protein shakes are likely a better option than Cheetos and squats are better than couches (for our health, not our enjoyment).

As I built up more of my own shame from having the willpower and attention span of a 6-year-old, I began to wonder if there was something that could be done to overcome those barriers.

What can people do to stick with a program and really change their lives?

Why is it so hard to add new habits, and why do old habits die so hard?

Suck it up, and push harder?

Dont be a pushover, perhaps?

No, those words of wisdom make me want to curl up into a ball and give up trying to change forever.

So as I dug into some psychology reading and tactics for change, I found some things that helped me and my clients on our journeys for changes.

Here are some things you should try next time you embark on a change in your life:

1. Make small wins.

In psychology, there is this idea of chunking.

Chunking is the breaking up of big tasks into smaller, less daunting ones.

You can try tojust seta goal to wear your Lululemon gear around your house.

For the first week, just put on your workout clothes. Thats it.

Then on week two, put on your Lulu outfit and actually leave the house.

It’s notnecessarily to go exercise, but to get those small feelings of achievement.

You havent even gone to the gym yet!

But, youre building small habits and small wins that give you momentum to stick with your exercise program in the long term.

So many people write exhaustive workout programs rather than breaking it down into smaller, more attainable mini-programs.

For example, if you dont workout at all, theres no way youll stick with a plan to lift weights four timesper week, go on 5-mile jog twiceper week and run sprints every other day.

Instead, try to exercise one day per week, and build from there.

Dr. Jade Teta, founder of Metabolic Effect, always says,

The perfect plan that is not possible to do is not the perfect plan.

2. Prep your day.

Get in the habit of planning your tomorrow during today.

By writing out the activities you plan to do and then preparing for those activities the night before, you are much more likely to accomplish what you set out to do.

For me, I’ll write down what time I will blog in the morning and for how long, and which pair of comfortable underwear I will rock.

I set my coffee pot to go off 10 minutes before I wake up, and I have a list of five to six things Ill do that day.

I always execute on that plan right down to the undies.

But when simply I think about blogging, I often times come up short.

Students who actually write down the time and place they are going to study ahead of time will more likely actually study when the time comes.

These sorts of planning exercises release endorphins in your brain that get you excited for the activity ahead.

What time will you go to the gym? Are your exercise clothes laid out?

3. Make deposits in your willpower bank.

In her book, “The Willpower Instinct:How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, And What You Can Do to Get More Of It,” Professor Kelly McGonigal (winking at you, “Harry Potter” fans) talks about how willpower is exhaustible.

Its like a bank account: You can make deposits and withdrawals, and you can overdraft, too.

But instead of overdraft fees, your body pays by crushing a pizza or by drinking too much and hooking up with a particular individual you may not have otherwise chosen.

Anytime you make a conscious decision throughout the day, you are withdrawing from your daily willpower bank account.

The bigger the decision, or the more mental effort it takes, the more of your willpower money is withdrawn from your account.

This is why romantic affairs are more likely to happen at night after a long day of work, and that pizza is more appetizing at 6 pm than 6 am.

This is why tactics like preparing the night before and building momentum from small wins are so important.

Habits, momentum and preparations takelittle to no effort, and therefore, you’ll leave your willpower bank full to spend on other, more taxing activities.

There are also ways to make deposits into your daily willpower bank.

These can be activities like power naps, meditation, nature walks, having a conversation with a friend or a short, intense workout.

These things can build your willpower throughout the day, and they can increase the amount of willpower you have when you’re considering whether you actually want to invite someoneback to your apartment.

4. Shape your environment.

When I was 20 years old, I dropped out of school and moved in with my older sister and her husband, who both own fitness companies.

I went from having beer in my college fridge to seeing SanPellegrino when I opened the fridge door.

The popcorn in my cabinets was replaced with protein powder and oats.

The people surrounding me went from asking me about parties and girls to asking me about the most recent business and psychology books Ive read.

This shift in my environment completely changed my life and was a huge key to change.

I was now eating different things, spending my time differently, reading books, exercising more, writing, making more money and doing personal training.

Take inventory of the foods in your house, the people you hang out with and places you visit.

Shape your environment to help your goals, not hurt them.

5. Ask, Whats my resistance story?

Any time you make a change in life, youre going to be met with some resistance and discomfort.

This is completely normal. Everybody feels this way.

The difference between those who successfully change and those who dont liesin the story they tell about what that resistance means.

Research on persistence says that during tough times,there are two types of people: those whofail, and those whosucceed.

The first groupwhotends to fail or quit will tellthemselves thingslike, Its not worth it,Im too busy,It isnt for me orI just wasnt meant to do this.

The second group whosucceeds and pushes through the period of resistance will tell themselves thingslike, Pain is weakness leaving the body,”Its going to be so rewarding when I get there,Its worth it orNo pain, no gain.

Neither story is the absolute truth. They just lead to different results.

Being apessimist leads to quitting yet another program.

Being aoptimist provides the will needed to push pass the temporary discomfort.

Whats your resistance story?

Listen to the story you tell yourself when you get tothose inevitable hard times.

Once you become aware of your story, you have the power to change it.

When you change your story, youll eventually get there.

You will succeed, and all your friends will gather around to stare at your shredded eight-pack in awe.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-tips-to-stick-with-a-gym-routine-long-after-the-free-classes-expire/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170256151512

[allofbeercom]

5 Tips To Stick With A Gym Routine Long After The Free Classes Expire

I was 15 years old, standing in front of 20 individuals two to three times my age with dumbbells at their feet, staring at me and waiting for the next instruction.

It was my first time teaching a class, and my armpit sweat stains were particularly large.

My mouth was dry, and my face was bright red.

Although I was pretty sure I had passed through puberty, my cracking voice had me doubting even that truth.

But I did it.

I gave them a badass workout, and that threw me down a career path of personal training and fitness.

Since that first class, Ive seen many new clients come through our studio doors, looking vibrant and smiling from ear to ear.

They are so excited to begin their new exercise program.

They light up with how good they’re going to look in a few short months from now.

Pretty soon, all their friends will gather around to stare at their shredded eight-packs in awe.

Then they come in for session number two, and they arrive with a little less enthusiasm.

They move with some stiffness, and they arent as excited to be there.

Then, thats it.

No session number three.

No session number four.

Theyre gone.

I cant blame them. Ive tried and failed at countless life changes.

Ive failed at routines for fitness, nutrition, meditation, visualization, blogging, stretching and so much more.

Sh*t, I changed my college major four times before I finally graduated.

As many clients disappeared over time, I realized it wasnt nutrition, squats or kettle bells that kept people from looking and feeling better.

It was willpower and self-discipline.

We know salad is probably a better option than a burger for lunch, protein shakes are likely a better option than Cheetos and squats are better than couches (for our health, not our enjoyment).

As I built up more of my own shame from having the willpower and attention span of a 6-year-old, I began to wonder if there was something that could be done to overcome those barriers.

What can people do to stick with a program and really change their lives?

Why is it so hard to add new habits, and why do old habits die so hard?

Suck it up, and push harder?

Dont be a pushover, perhaps?

No, those words of wisdom make me want to curl up into a ball and give up trying to change forever.

So as I dug into some psychology reading and tactics for change, I found some things that helped me and my clients on our journeys for changes.

Here are some things you should try next time you embark on a change in your life:

1. Make small wins.

In psychology, there is this idea of chunking.

Chunking is the breaking up of big tasks into smaller, less daunting ones.

You can try tojust seta goal to wear your Lululemon gear around your house.

For the first week, just put on your workout clothes. Thats it.

Then on week two, put on your Lulu outfit and actually leave the house.

It’s notnecessarily to go exercise, but to get those small feelings of achievement.

You havent even gone to the gym yet!

But, youre building small habits and small wins that give you momentum to stick with your exercise program in the long term.

So many people write exhaustive workout programs rather than breaking it down into smaller, more attainable mini-programs.

For example, if you dont workout at all, theres no way youll stick with a plan to lift weights four timesper week, go on 5-mile jog twiceper week and run sprints every other day.

Instead, try to exercise one day per week, and build from there.

Dr. Jade Teta, founder of Metabolic Effect, always says,

The perfect plan that is not possible to do is not the perfect plan.

2. Prep your day.

Get in the habit of planning your tomorrow during today.

By writing out the activities you plan to do and then preparing for those activities the night before, you are much more likely to accomplish what you set out to do.

For me, I’ll write down what time I will blog in the morning and for how long, and which pair of comfortable underwear I will rock.

I set my coffee pot to go off 10 minutes before I wake up, and I have a list of five to six things Ill do that day.

I always execute on that plan right down to the undies.

But when simply I think about blogging, I often times come up short.

Students who actually write down the time and place they are going to study ahead of time will more likely actually study when the time comes.

These sorts of planning exercises release endorphins in your brain that get you excited for the activity ahead.

What time will you go to the gym? Are your exercise clothes laid out?

3. Make deposits in your willpower bank.

In her book, “The Willpower Instinct:How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, And What You Can Do to Get More Of It,” Professor Kelly McGonigal (winking at you, “Harry Potter” fans) talks about how willpower is exhaustible.

Its like a bank account: You can make deposits and withdrawals, and you can overdraft, too.

But instead of overdraft fees, your body pays by crushing a pizza or by drinking too much and hooking up with a particular individual you may not have otherwise chosen.

Anytime you make a conscious decision throughout the day, you are withdrawing from your daily willpower bank account.

The bigger the decision, or the more mental effort it takes, the more of your willpower money is withdrawn from your account.

This is why romantic affairs are more likely to happen at night after a long day of work, and that pizza is more appetizing at 6 pm than 6 am.

This is why tactics like preparing the night before and building momentum from small wins are so important.

Habits, momentum and preparations takelittle to no effort, and therefore, you’ll leave your willpower bank full to spend on other, more taxing activities.

There are also ways to make deposits into your daily willpower bank.

These can be activities like power naps, meditation, nature walks, having a conversation with a friend or a short, intense workout.

These things can build your willpower throughout the day, and they can increase the amount of willpower you have when you’re considering whether you actually want to invite someoneback to your apartment.

4. Shape your environment.

When I was 20 years old, I dropped out of school and moved in with my older sister and her husband, who both own fitness companies.

I went from having beer in my college fridge to seeing SanPellegrino when I opened the fridge door.

The popcorn in my cabinets was replaced with protein powder and oats.

The people surrounding me went from asking me about parties and girls to asking me about the most recent business and psychology books Ive read.

This shift in my environment completely changed my life and was a huge key to change.

I was now eating different things, spending my time differently, reading books, exercising more, writing, making more money and doing personal training.

Take inventory of the foods in your house, the people you hang out with and places you visit.

Shape your environment to help your goals, not hurt them.

5. Ask, Whats my resistance story?

Any time you make a change in life, youre going to be met with some resistance and discomfort.

This is completely normal. Everybody feels this way.

The difference between those who successfully change and those who dont liesin the story they tell about what that resistance means.

Research on persistence says that during tough times,there are two types of people: those whofail, and those whosucceed.

The first groupwhotends to fail or quit will tellthemselves thingslike, Its not worth it,Im too busy,It isnt for me orI just wasnt meant to do this.

The second group whosucceeds and pushes through the period of resistance will tell themselves thingslike, Pain is weakness leaving the body,”Its going to be so rewarding when I get there,Its worth it orNo pain, no gain.

Neither story is the absolute truth. They just lead to different results.

Being apessimist leads to quitting yet another program.

Being aoptimist provides the will needed to push pass the temporary discomfort.

Whats your resistance story?

Listen to the story you tell yourself when you get tothose inevitable hard times.

Once you become aware of your story, you have the power to change it.

When you change your story, youll eventually get there.

You will succeed, and all your friends will gather around to stare at your shredded eight-pack in awe.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-tips-to-stick-with-a-gym-routine-long-after-the-free-classes-expire/

[apsbicepstraining]

Wladimir Klitschko:’ This may sound pretentiou, but I am like Mount Everest’

The 41 -year-olds training camp in the Alps looks like the setting for a horror cinema and he tells Sachin Nakrani he is in the mood to give Anthony Joshua a scare when they meet on 29 April at Wembley

Stanglwirt is a sprawling bio-hotel located in the Austrian Alps and which at first glance looks like the location for a slow-burning, creepy horror movie. With its mountainous background and somewhat kitsch interior heavy grove panelling, stripy sofas it brings about recognitions of the Overlook Hotel from Stephen Kings The Shining. Walk through the vestibule, past the staff dressed in lederhosen, and it is like merely a matter of time until a clock “re going away”, a bozo springs out and a organization falls down the stairs.

But on this spring visit there is no horror to be had. Instead, amid the restaurants sector and tables, the spas, saunas and wading pool, resides a storey of saving. Or, as Wladimir Klitschko introduces it, fulfilling an obsession.

The heavyweight is here to prepare for his bout with Anthony Joshua at Wembley Stadium on 29 April. Stanglwirt has been his pre-fight basi since 2003 and a neighbourhood he describes as a dwelling away from dwelling. It is easy to see the appeal for all its Heres Johnny! calibers, the complex , now more than 250 years old, is a beautiful target to waste some time. Pristine, picturesque, warm, friendly and with plenty to do and devour. For Klitschko it is somewhere to get his attention and mas right, which now now more than ever is important for a boxing great who, as he admits, is about to take on a career-defining challenge.

Klitschko has not fought since his shock defeat to Tyson Fury in Dsseldorf 17 months ago. It was an outcome that not only deprived the Ukrainian of his WBA, IBF and WBO names but also of his robe of near-invincibility. Dr Steelhammer, a fighter who had assured 53 of his 64 success across a 27 -year career by knockout, was outgunned by a man who garmented as Batman for one of their pre-fight news conference. Fury was a parody, yet after a unanimous objects decision on 28 November 2015 he was the one laughing.

Much has happened to Fury since that night and one of the consequences has been Klitschko missing out on a rematch that would have furnished him with a chance to prove he is no busted redden after a fourth win since revolving professional in 1996. Unfinished business, as he introduces it. Now, eventually, comes the chance for him to go again against a British fighter.

Wladimir Klitschko and his physio Aldo Vetere at the Stanglwirt hotel. Image: Johann Groder/ AFP/ Getty Images

Joshua, the IBF champion, poses a different threat to Fury a year younger at 27, stronger and more deadly. Then there is the install: a stadium Klitschko has never fought at, in front of a 90,000 sellout gathering. He is over there on the back of his longest period of inactivity since first lacing up a duo of gauntlets, and having merely turned 41. Little wonder this most assured of men is full of questions, full of doubts, as he spoke at Stanglwirt.

This fight is 50 -5 0, Klitschko said. Can the younger guy make it? Has the older guy still got it? Interrogation traces are making this event really interesting. Ive never had a pause for a year and a half. Is it bad? Is it good? Will I have rust? I crave the answers myself.

One thing I believe is I dont seem my age. Its not empty words. I am getting in best available determine of my life, physically and mentally. I dont consider Im lodge and not improving, even in a athletic Ive been involved with for so long. Thats what interests and evokes me.

Klitschko surely ogled well as he pronounced, flanked by his director, Bernd Bnte, and his trainer, Johnathon Banks.

The body abides prescribing and defined, his look chiselled and those sides continue to look like destruction weapons. Requested to predict how the fight with Joshua will go, Klitschko conjured his fists and nodded towards them in turn. Funeral or hospital? Hospital or funeral? I dont need many pierces to knock a person out.

That was a rare minute of trash-talking swagger from the ex-serviceman( alongside the moment he claimed Joshua goes confidence from his muscles and is better suited to bodybuilding ).

Generally Klitschko was respectful of his antagonist, tolerate partly out of the fact Joshua goes into their fight on the back of a perfect professional enter 18 wins from 18 contends, all reached via knockout and partly because of the respect Klitschko developed for the man from Watford, having invited him to be a sparring partner in November 2014, before taking on the Bulgarian Kubrat Pulev.

He amazed me with his attitude, Klitschko says. He was in the background and learning. Sometimes you need to be quiet and are watching, and he was find everything. He could also carton, so I passed him ascribe and I was there in the arena when he acquired golden[ at London 2012 ]~ ATAGEND. Every medallist in the super-heavyweight split at the Olympics has to be considered successful. He has a lot of potential and so far has done good.

Unlike Fury, Joshua is likely to engage with Klitschko from the first bell, would be interested to plant his hoofs and unload missiles as frequently as possible. On one mitt that provides the challenger with a sitting target not to mention a presumably vulnerable kuki-chins but on the other it symbolizes he will have to engage himself, something Klitschko did only in the 12 th round of the Fury fight when his uncharacteristic indecision against a moving target had given him no choice but to go for stone-broke. Eventually it was too little, too late.

Klitschko holds he has learned from his mistakes and will be fully prepared for current challenges by the time he arrives in London on 26 April. Until then it is a subject of working on and abiding focused, something that was there to experienced at Stanglwirt.

The scene was a proselytized tennis tribunal in the bowels of the hotel. In the middle held a echo while at one area were three punchbags hung in ascending tell and at another a basketball net where, at around 8am, Banks hit hoops with another member of backroom unit as Klitschko went through a series of straining usages. Two television screens had been put up testifying Joshuas previous crusades, everything taking place to the announce of Motown classics. It was a tighten start.

Banks and Klitschko eventually underwent some pad work inside the ring. It was, in keeping with the climate of the morning, a comparatively gentle period but the bang of thudding fists carried enough of an echo to prompt onlookers of the influence coming Joshuas way later this month. The 27 -year-old is the favourite with most bookmakers but contentment would be preposterous against a humanity who has been there, done that, and is entering the ring not because he needs the money but because he is determined to prompt the world he remains one of “the worlds largest” durable heavyweights and, yet again, has what it takes to be a champion.

Wladimir Klitschko was uncharacteristically reluctant against Tyson Fury in 2015. Image: Kai Pfaffenbach/ Reuters

Failure is an experience and Im coming after a win[ against Fury] with a totally different posture, Klitschko says. I learned more about myself, about boxing, through that win. Regrettably I cannot change it, or got a second shooting like in golf theres no mulligan for me. But Im not a destroyed man.

This may sound arrogant but I am like Mount Everest. You can climb it during a certain period during two weeks in April I speculate and say: I subjugated Everest. Then youve got to run down because its going to take you down if you miss the time.

Some make it back but a lot of beings croak, so is Mount Everest overcome? No, its still there and its going to take another life this April.

Sky Sports Box Office just goes to show Joshua v Klitschko exclusively live on 29 April. To book go to www.skysports.com/ joshua

The post Wladimir Klitschko:’ This may sound pretentiou, but I am like Mount Everest’ appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[princesscutcoffee]

Eye Contact

It was November 17th to be exact.

It was cloudy with a crisp, yet warm breeze and i had my favorite sweater on. I was walking along River Street downtown after eating lunch. I had no where specific to be. I sat on a wooden bench under a tall Red Maple that hundreds of others have sat on before I because it had the best view of the semi-busy street, all while overlooking the small pond and the park just behind. It was almost like you saw the entirety of our small city from here with people rushing back from their lunch breaks with a sense of urgency and others enjoying the sunshine without a care. I took a sip of my coffee, opened my book and began to drown out the world.

Five pages in and I’m brought back to reality when a truck honks on the street somewhere behind me. I take another sip. I look around at the unfamiliar faces passing by, watch the man playing with his dog across the field, the women sitting at the edge of the pond looking around, waiting for a friend, perhaps a lover. I get up to stretch a bit, waltz across the path and lean against the railing to stare at my reflection in the water. I wonder what to do with the rest of my day. I set my thermos down besides me and place my book back in my bag. Its Shakespeare, my favorite Tale of Two Cities, I’ve read it a dozen times. With my back to the cool iron I extend my arms and grab hold of the rails like they are my anchor, my feet crossed and observe the street. I look up into the clouds, and back down to the concrete underneath me. I notice a young man takes my seat on the bench and I think how lucky you are now, to have that view all to yourself. I hope he enjoys it.

I Think Ill head on to a new location, perhaps stop by the book store near my apartment and see if I can find something I haven’t read yet. Twenty feet I make it and someone calls out, “Miss, did you forget something?“ In the blink of an eye I turn to the voice, my thermos, how could I possibly forget? “Oh yes, thank you, I’m a bit dreamy today, I couldn’t live without my coffee.” I look up at the man who had taken that wooden throne over after I and for a moment its as if the whole world had stopped. One blink, and another. Were staring into each others eyes and I can feel my heart beat. I have never seen eyes as bright and green, eyes that i could see a story behind without knowing a single thing about the person whom they belonged to.

“You should take this before it gets cold. It smells awfully good.” “Thank you.“ I manged to reply. Without knowing I am simply staring at this man and he must think I’m crazy. I take a sip and its still quite warm. Its as though there is not a single thought going through my head because I’m trying so hard to find an explanation to the feeling that has just gone through me. “I take it you’re not in a hurry to be somewhere if you sat reading your book, then stood by the pond, now staring at me, or are you?” “Have you been watching me?” “Oh no, I’m sorry, its just that this bench is my favorite. You can see everything and if theres a breeze this time of year you can watch the red leaves dance around.” I have no words yet i muster up something to say. “Thats why this is also my favorite.“ “Would you care to share?“ he says, and without a thought here I am sitting on the River Street throne with a handsome stranger feeling like Ive done this a thousand times.

We sat in silence for a minute as the breeze got a chill to it and leaves started to come down across the sidewalk. The man and his dog had gone home, the women gathered her things and in a slump walked off as if her company never showed. We began to make conversation about the park, then our city which we had both grown up in just streets away, about our jobs, the best restaurants and boutiques, which books we had and had not read. Just like that, the time was passing and the sun was setting, my thermos empty now after taking the last cold sip after hours of conversation.

We made plans to share this old wooden bench again a few days from then. We said our good-byes, nice to meet yous, see you soons. We headed off in opposite directions and i could only help but notice anything that matched the color of those eyes. I ran up the stairs to my apartment and searched through countless books until i found just the one recalling how making eye contact with a complete stranger could go hand in hand with that whole love at first sight theory, but who really knows when that happens?

It was November 17th to be exact.