#from the seventeen albums i have

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

[sugaggukkie]

every kpop boy group apart from bts sucks. what’s that all about?

[bobmckenzie]

I really don't know how to act having an f/o with so much content

[crescentmp3]

my relatives should stop walking in on me headbanging while listening to metal

[minchananigans]

probably going to a fnac store tomorrow, they usually have the most random kpop albuns so I’m hoping they one I want 😭

[digitalgirls]

personal fave bgs w/ the best discographies: exo, got7, monsta x, nct 127

[hannieehaee]

IO CHE NON VIVO (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: being abducted and dragged to italy in the middle of promotions was not something wonwoo could've ever expected, but idol life was very unpredictable after all. what had truly caught him off guard, however, was the girl he met whilst strolling the pretty sights at night, fully unaware of his title as idol or any of his hectic life, offering a breath of fresh air he could've never accounted for.

content: strangers2lovers!wonwoo, idol!wonwoo, meetcute<3, shy!wonwoo, reader is lovely and outgoing!!, no race specified but reader's nationality is italian, language barrier (but reader is said to understand and speak korean so its ok!!), long distance relationship, summer love vibes, love at first sight type of situation, takes place during nana tour but does not follow the actual chronology of real events in the show, afab reader, smut, sex dream(?), dry humping, leg riding, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 18.3k

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 2k (teaser); 18.3k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: october 14th

or you can check it out on my patreon today by subscribing!

masterlist

a/n: this is based off this ask i received a very long time ago that i never got to but ended up inspiring this story<3

masterlist | patreon

Wonwoo should've known.

The moment he saw that uncharacteristically free month in his schedule, he should've known that something was up. Neither Hybe nor Pledis would ever allow for Seventeen to have an entire month clear of any schedules. It'd be an immediate financial failure in their eyes.

As much as Wonwoo enjoyed the rapid life of an idol, he missed the days when he was a teenager and time could stand still for a few moments. It had been a long time since he'd had that luxury.

So when he cross checked his schedule with his groupmates and realized they were all equally free of idol duties for an extended period of time, he couldn't help but feel worried yet relieved. Could be possibly make plans during this free time? Maybe rest? Maybe simply enjoy the quiet and slowness of time as it passed without a worry for what was next?

His questions were answered pretty quickly.

As he rested in his room after a grueling week of back to back concerts in Japan, Wonwoo felt content in knowing that he'd get to head back to Korea and rest for a few days. He only had a few simple album-related shoots for the following days, and once those were done he'd be able to cash in on his free month. The company hadn't mentioned any change of plans, nor had they officially announced the meaning of this gap in schedules, so Wonwoo chose not to question it and simply bask in it.

Unfortunately for Wonwoo, life was never that simple.

As per usual, he was not even allowed that a full night of sleep before being bombarded by noise just outside his door. Assuming it was just his hyperactive members meaning to make another attempt at dragging him into their impromptu rap battle, he simply turned to his side whilst nuzzling under the covers, too comfortable to be bothered.

The next disturbance came in the form of one Boo Seungkwan hesitantly opening his door with a key he assumed came from his manager, sneaking into the room as he checked for signs of life.

Not fully awake, Wonwoo continued to ignore the situation, hoping that his lack of reaction for whatever was going on outside would lead his members to realize that he was checked out for the night — something quite usual for him after an extraneous concert.

After a few moments, Wonwoo was able to hear the descent of Seungkwan's steps, meaning he had likely left the room and that Wonwoo could now claim slumber to its fullest extent.

That was until an entire band of people marched into his room, carelessly turning on the light and rushing towards his lone form on the bed. Sitting up sleepily, he attempted to make sense of what was happening, unsure of why this many people had entered his room, and suddenly far too aware of his lack of clothing, pulling his blanket to cover him as much as possible.

Thanks to Boo Seungkwan, his glasses quickly found their way to his face and a shirt was thrown at him to put on while under the covers. It wasn't until then that Wonwoo realized that Na PD was one of the many people currently looking down at him as he laid in bed, camera man next to him.

"What is happening?", he murmured about one minute into the situation, barely awake enough to speak.

"We're getting abducted, be ready," spoke Mingyu with a laugh from the side of the room, looking far too excited and as if he had already been briefed on the situation.

The rest of the details were blurry, but the gist of the situation ended in only one verdict — Seventeen was now headed to Italy.

The free month should've been a dead giveaway, but Wonwoo had simply been far too busy with his usually hectic schedule to even make the connection. It had been a while since the deal to be taken away spontaneously had been made, so the whole thing had left his mind.

Despite his prior desire for some free time, the thought of finally stepping foot in Europe for the first time did bring a smile to his face. Mingyu had always told Wonwoo of his wish to go to Italy someday, which was usually echoed by Wonwoo himself. The chance to go with all his friends made him look forward to it all the more. All he needed was his camera and he'd be a happy man.

One lengthy flight later and Wonwoo found himself in Italy with a band of eleven friends (Seungcheol was sadly left behind) and even more staff members. The gist of the trip was that they'd be recorded simply exploring the beautiful city they'd landed in and playing the occasionally game for content on the show. It had been dubbed Nana Tour, even including personalized shirts for every member.

As per instructions by Na PD, they would get a lot of leisure time to use however they desired. Being a good friend of the group after a few prior meetings, Na PD had assured them that he wanted to grant them as much vacation time as possible whilst in Italy, not wanting to put too much pressure on the content-making aspect of the trip. As long as they were able to record a good six hours of content every week for the duration of their month-long stay, they'd have more than enough for a full successful season of the show.

So now Wonwoo was in Italy, a place he considered to be one of the most beautiful he had seen in his short life. The weather was comfortable, the sights amazing, the food delicious, and not to mention the freedom that came with being out and about on his own, worry-free of his responsibilities as an idol.

Surely he'd get recognized by Italian carats sooner or later, but within the few days he'd been here, always opting to go on a quiet outing at night, he had not been spotted as of yet. Maybe it was the fact he was so far from home and his location was unaccounted for by the media, or perhaps the nighttime making it difficult to recognize him, but he was currently experiencing an incognito lifestyle he had long bid adieu to.

Tonight, similarly to the previous three nights, he made the rounds in the small home Na PD'd staff had rented for Seventeen and excused himself for a nightly outing. At this hour, all activities expected for them had been wrapped up, giving them full freedom to spend their leisure time as they wished. Some other members opted to stay home, having already enjoyed outings during the day, whilst others went out in groups. Wonwoo was alone in the fact that he craved alone time at this hour, preferring to head out with no company other than his camera.

Camera in hand, Wonwoo made his way outside, always heading in a different direction than the previous night, seeing where fate would take him and taking pictures of any pretty sight on the way.

The night was chilly, illuminated by the yellow streetlights that had a tendency of brightening up the city as dawn fell. Maybe it was the change of scenery, but Wonwoo found himself in love with the atmosphere of the nightfall in Italy. Every sight was one to behold. It hadn't taken long for his love for photography to invade his every free moment in the beautiful city. Pictures overflowed his camera roll, all satisfying his artistic eye.

His nightly stroll lasted a good half an hour before he found himself near a shore, looking to the distance and finding nothing close enough to the end of the sea. It was too dark to tell what might be beyond, but the sight was still one Wonwoo quickly became hypnotized by. Surprisingly, the area was quite lonesome, with most people choosing to hang by the brighter areas nearby, housing themselves in restaurants or small shops that opened late into the night. He found himself alone with the ocean and a lone street light providing him with that yellow hue he came to find comfort in.

The comfortable loneliness did not last Wonwoo too long. A sudden presence practically materialized a few feet from him a few moments later, or maybe he'd just been too drawn by the sight to notice anyone approaching prior. He meekly turned his face to the side, unable to help wondering who was his new silent companion. Upon taking a cautious look, he found the silhouette of a girl. Wanting to avoid making her uncomfortable or being too obvious, Wonwoo looked forward almost immediately, now eyeing the view once more.

They stood like that, in comfortable silence, for a few long minutes. No words were exchanged despite the mutual knowledge of the other's presence, simply sharing a moment of solace together. It was unlike any other interaction he'd ever had with a stranger — or lack thereof, really.

He felt comfortable, uninterrupted in his peace despite the presence of a stranger. Wonwoo had never been good at strangers, specially not in foreign countries. He usually found himself being anxious and far too quiet for comfort, never one to pick up casual conversation even in his native language, much less in one he felt no confidence in. His on-stage persona was very different than that of his actual one. Carats were quite correct in assigning the black cat stereotype — quiet, untrusting, keeping to himself.

The silence halted with the sudden stutter of a camera, taking Wonwoo out of the trance he'd been in as he stared out to the water, making him turn to the left in a combination of fear and curiosity. His instant assumption had been that whoever the faceless girl was, she must've taken a picture of him, having recognized him. But as he turned to the side, he found her in a rather awkward position, crouched down and camera facing the sea as she found the best angle possible for her shot.

He chuckled breathlessly to himself, a bit embarrassed that he'd made such an assumption of an unsuspecting stranger who likely had no idea who he was. Where did that big head come from, Wonwoo?, he thought to himself. This girl knows nothing of who you are, most people here seem to be the same, he should be happy.

It was then that he finally made sense of your appearance, as you crouched towards the edge of the shore and gave him a better look of you under the streetlight nearby. He couldn't see your face very well as you continued to face away from him, but he had a good enough view to catch the slope of your nose, the color of your hair, the shape of your body, all distinctive features he could appreciate under the melancholic lighting.

Wonwoo wasn't really one to care much for appearances. Beautiful people came in all forms, but he was one to truly find beauty in a person through other means, usually enjoying the physical aspects of a person's being only after getting to know the emotional ones. There seemed to be some exceptions to the rule, however, as Wonwoo came to find when you got up to your full height, making your way back to your original spot but incidentally locking eyes with him as he eyed you curiously. Your eyes drew him in immediately, finding you beautiful upon a single look.

As embarrassed as he was at getting caught staring at you, his mind was eased when you offered a friendly smile, taking his smile in return as a welcome to stand closer than you'd been before. Wordlessly, you made your way to his side, eyeing the small disposable camera he had hanging from his neck.

...

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[serejae]

falling for u | c.hansol

pairing : vernon x reader

WHAT ! - vernon slowly getting replaced by sofia ^_^ thank you to this anon !!!

warnings : kisses, petnames, mentions of the other svt members, slight skin ship, not proof read, established relationship au

-

when vernon had met you, he knew from the beginning that you were the one. being committed to someone romantically was scary for him but what scared him even more was the thought of introducing the wrong person to his family, his family was very special to him. vernon wouldnt introduce just anyone to his family

so when he laid down next to you in bed staring at the ceiling as you were on your phone and asked you

“do you wanna come back to new york with me? just to get away for a bit…and meet my family?”

the last part was a faint whisper but was loud enough for you to hear it. youve talked to his family over the phone on the occasion they call him and want to say hi to you, and kept contact with his mom and sister texting them every so often

but youve never actually met them in person

the thought of it shook you a bit knowing this was a big step in your guys relationship.

noticing your pause he held your hand “i promise theyll love you, they already do” he said comfortingly as he looked over at you

-

so there you both were standing in the airport in new york ready to pick up your bags. you ordered a uber as vernon picked up the luggages, and when he came back he kept his hand on your lower pack comfortably guiding you through the airport

the uber was quiet besides faint whispers between vernon and you. he pointed at places that he wanted to take you to or told you stories about his childhood remembering the sights as the car passed them

when you two got to vernons childhood house you guys thanked the drive as vernon opened the door for you and took out the luggages before thanking the driver

making your way to the door you stood there waiting for vernon as he approached with the bags, going down you grabbed one to help him instead of ringing the doorbell

“did you ring or knock?” he asked looking at you with a faint smile

“no, i wanted to help you” you bluffed tightening your grip on the suitcase

he smiled and rubbed his fingers over your grip “relax, its no big deal okay? youll fit in just fine” he assured as he rang the doorbell

you heard running to the door and see sofia smiling at you. she wrapped her arms around you causing you to smile hugging her back

“its so nice to see you in person” she mumbled into the hug

vernon smiled at the sight and cleared his throat causing sofia and you to break up the hug

“im here too” he smiled at his sister to which she rolled her eyes playfully “i can see that”

sofia brought you inside the house, inside you see his mom setting the table and his dad walking towards you to give you a hug catching his moms attention and joining in. they both hugged you as vernon watched smiling from afar knowing that he was right

you had nothing to worry about

vernon walked up stairs to his room to set down the bags. he looked around making mental notes of what to show you and the stories he has on his room. from the figurines, to the vinyls, and even the albums he had bought

as he walked downstairs he sees you and his family already seated as if he was the guest, he grinned and sat down by you making you sandwiched between sofia and him.

the table was filled with laughs, stories, and vernons embarrassment as his family exposed his embarrassing stories

as dinner ended you help clear the table letting you bond with his mom, as soon as you finished vernon watched as his sister brought you up to her room to talk

he shook his head as he saw you both go up stairs smiling knowing where this will lead

vernons mom and him caught up as he chilled in the kitchen with her

“you have a good person vernon” his mom told him making him smile for the 500th time, but he already knew that information he was happy that his family knew how great you were

-

he walked upstairs walking past his sisters room where he heard both of your guys laughs

vernon started unpacking yours and his stuff and laid out your pajamas for you as he freshened up

after maybe a hour and a half of him being up stairs he started to miss you but you was still with his sister. vernon laid in his bed debating on whether he should bring you back to his room or let you have fun with sofia when it clicked to him

YOURE HIS PARTNER?

he sat up and walked to sofias room softly knocking on the door before opening it catching both of your guys attention. you both looked over at him as if he was some intruders, he sat by you and tugged on your shirt slightly “come back to my room” he mumbled causing sofia to groan “no, stay with me”

vernon looked over at sofia “well this is my partner”

“and this is my best friend”

you watched as they both bickered enjoying the sibling dynamic between the both of them

“you have them all the time, i got like 3 hours with them” sofia defended herself

“well youll have a full week with them” vernon said ending the argument bringing you back to his room

-

vernon and you both laid down as you rested your head on his chest looking at the missing half dim sticky stars he had on his ceiling. he pointed at the different things in his room explaining the stories

pointing at a spiderman plush sitting on a shelf he starts speaking

“that one, my dad won it for me at-“

he was cut off by his door opening, you both looked up and see sofia peeking in

“yn, tomorrow do you wanna go explore with me?” she asked eagerly

“of course” you smiled making vernon look at you

“what about me?” he asked looking over at sofia to which she closed the door

he laughed slightly and rested back down on the bed

“i told you…” vernon mumbled

“you have nothing to worry about, you fit right in”

he closed his eyes and smiled at how you got along so well especially, with his sister. his sister taught him a lot of things about relationships and how to guide through them instead of being a rock and hes glad that he sees the results of her coaching paying off

sure, maybe she’ll steal you from him but he couldnt blame her, if he were someone else he’d want to steal you too

so this week will be long for him, but vernon would wait ages if that mean he could see you spend time with his sister

-

BONUS : pouty clingy vernon

after 3 days in new york, which were just 3 days of his sister hogging you. you had came back to vernons house to see a pouty vernon laying in bed

you slowly approached him just incase you were seeing things but nope, the pout was very visible (maybe to you only but who cares)

when vernon saw you he held his arms out to which you filled in the space allowing him to hug you

“ive missed you today” he mumbled against your hair

“you have?”

“yeah my sister has been taking you for these 3 days when its suppose to be a you and me getaway

im glad youre getting along with my family, especially my sister but does she really need to take you 24/7?”

“maybe?” you smiled

vernon rolled his eyes playfully and looked down at you

“so whatd you and her do today?”

“ah!” you said pulling out some bags

“we went to brunch, then went to this pop up store” you explained pulling out the bags and each item

and s you explained, vernon watched smiling, but not at what you got but you. he enjoyed seeing the look and smile on your face as you explained your day with his sister, even if he was sulking 5 minutes ago he enjoys seeing you happy.

even if its for the reason hes sulky

“tomorrow you wanna go out with me? i have some things to show you” he asked smiling after you finished your haul

“yeah of-“

just then sofia opened the door

“yn do you want to go out with me tomorrow-“

“NO”

[eggyrocks]

☆ on repeat ☆ t. kageyama smau

⋆｡°✩in which yn just got out of a bad breakup, and the only thing helping her is this one song on repeat ⋆｡°✩

main masterlist

tags: tobio kageyama x f!reader, university au, strangers to friends to lovers

warnings: foul language, gross jokes, sexual jokes, conflict, violence, cringe; everyone probably will be out of character, please note warnings may change as story progresses, and to check each chapter for individual warnings

rules: blank blogs will be blocked !! minors dni

taglist: closed

[ignore all time stamps]

status: complete

pinterest board by @garden-of-bri

yn style guide

introductions: oh my god they were roommates | roommates to lovers

part one: is she hot part two: body shots [✐] part three: pathetic men part four: girl time part five: blood oath part six: breakfast part seven: bed bugs part eight: my bisexual prince part nine: linked up part ten: tsukkinoyahinyamyn [✐] part eleven: something shifted part twelve: a bet part thirteen: weird and serious part fourteen: antonios part fifteen: bothered. unmoisturized. anxious. part sixteen: toothpaste and iodine [✐] part seventeen: okay i love you part eighteen: mini epilogue

daily click for palestine 🇵🇸

moodboard/description for on repeat from @causenessus

"the actual definition of domesticity. just pure love. definitely love languages are in this aesthetic. i'm getting a lot of gift giving vibes. BUT AGAIN DOMESTICITY!! just kageyama being in love and a sucker for y/n. he's behind her at every moment in case she needs anything, holding her bags for her and always there to be a scary guard dog to anyone looking despite being a sweetheart and melting the moment y/n is looking at him or asking something. the kind of people who would both come up to a grandma and help her cross the street or carry things for her <3 they're happy as long as they're together. they remind me of this one video i've had saved for years in my phones that goes along the lines of "when you're a kid you think your parents are soulmates. my kids are going to be right about that." (ik that isn't always applicabale to family dynamics like i would rather die than have kids but i personally think it's even more impactful thinking about it as "my parents were so messed up but i'm going to meet my soulmate. i'm going to be with someone that people see us together and think that we're soulmates. i'm going to find someone that loves me.") songs that come to mind are the cuco's wannabewithu and songs4u albums but also work song simply bc of how lovesick it is and loverboy"

[elllisaaa]

in ur last svt post (which made me fold btw) you mentioned you love doing bf thoughts (and we love reading them!!) so i’m gonna be the one to do it… any dirty bf!wonwoo headcanons sweetie? 🫣

not me dropping two wonwoo asks in one day like i’m not hansol biased i’m gonna run away 🏃‍♀️ he’s so husband material tho (getting back into my svt phase is fun 🙂‍↕️)

lmaoo honestly it's valid being whipped for wonwoo, i am too even though i'm a seokmin and chan girlie (hansol is coming at me these days though...)

BF!WONWOO who's a silent lover, but who loves you so much that everyone can see who smitten by you he is.

another member of seventeen that i think is a very good listener. wonwoo is always ready to listen to you when you need to talk, be that because something funny happened to you or because you had a bad day. and he's also really good at giving you advice when you have a problem. he strikes me as someone who's emotionally smart, so it isn't difficult for him to know that you're sad without you having to tell hims. sometimes he'll notice that you're not doing well and he will prepare you a little snack and deliver it with a kiss and a sweet "i love you, i'm here if you need to talk." that almost makes you tear up from how caring he is. also, wonwoo's hugs must feel incredibly good, like being engulfed in a warm bubble of love that's so soothing you immediately relax in his embrace. you could literally spend your whole life hugging him because it's genuinely the best feeling in the world.

"it's okay darling, i'm here now. everything is going to be alright."

wonwoo would love to play video games with you. it's good if you are already into it, but it would be even better if you don't because he would love to teach you how to play his favourite games. he would even use it as an excuse to make you sit on his lap while he's trying to show you how to play. from there, you would often play together, but it's also not rare for you to simply sit in wonwoo's lap and watch him play, or take a nap there, lulled to sleep by his breathing and heartbeat. one of his favourite ways to spend a date night at home with you is playing board games. you'd pick out one or two games together, make yourself some tea and prepare snacks and then you'll spend your night playing together. the members often joke about how the two of you are like an old couple but you don't care because what matters is that you're having fun during these game nights. also, wonwoo loves to just stay at home with you, all cozy in your matching pajamas and getting to see you all relaxed. he obviously loves it when you're dressing up when the two of you are going out, but you're the most beautiful to him with only a big beautiful smile on your face.

"let's just watch a movie tonight, i don't want to see other people, only you."

he's adamant on reminding you of how beautiful you are every single day. and that's the way he says it that makes you blush - like it's the most natural thing ever and that it's obvious. however, when it's your turn to praise wonwoo, he gets shy and bashful, and you literally have to fight him to get him to accept the compliment. but wonwoo loves your insistence on adoring him and he loves the attention - he's down bad for you, but it's good to know that you're down bad for him as well. he would often take photos of you without you noticing when he thinks you look particularly pretty. he won't show these pictures to you, but he has folder of them on his phone and on his computer too, and he looks at them when he's away from you and that he misses you. wonwoo would put all these secret photos into a pretty album he made and decorated himself, and he would gift it to you for your anniversary. overall, he would gift you a lot of mindful things like these, and you keep all of them in a little box under your bed.

"when did you take this one nonu ?" - "when we went to the botanical garden, you were so pretty that day."

BF!WONWOO who's a service top and who loves to please you, but who can also get a little bit mean when he wants to.

wonwoo definitely loves cockwarming with you. when you sit on his lap while he's playing video games, it's not impossible that he'll end up pushing your panties to the side and slipping his cock inside of you, not moving at all. he just loves the intimacy of it, how much you trust him and relax into his touch immediately. but it's impossible to not get hard when your pussy feels this wet and this warm, nor when you're sometimes clenching around him. wonwoo usually gives up pretty quickly, because he loves the feeling as much as you. most of the time, he would grip your hips and help you drop down on his cock slowly until the both of you cum. but when he's feeling more needy, he would bend you over his desk and fuck you rough from behind until you're screaming his name. but sometimes, you can stay like this for a long time, even managing to fall asleep because it feels so warm and safe to be so close to him. it's the way you feel so comfortable around him that gets him going mostly.

"just sit on my cock for while baby, then i'll fuck you, okay ?"

overall, wonwoo just loves to please you in every way he can. he's inflexible about foreplay because he loves to have you cumming at least once before he fucks you - his girl should get as much orgasms as possible because you only deserve the best. he woul often keep his glasses on while eating you out, because even if it's the most comfortable for him, he knows how crazy you go when he looks up at you through the fogged lenses and how hot you think he is when he has them on. wonwoo prefers positions where he can see your face as he fucks you, so missionary is a must with him. he loves to see your face contort when you're close to the edge, and he loves to watch you as he brings you to your orgasm - your pretty expressions and the sounds you make often enough to trigger his own release. again, he loves how close he can be to you in this position, chest and forehead pressed against each other's, whispering praises and love confessions against your lips while he ruts his hips into you deep.

"you're so pretty darling… so fucking pretty like this."

despite him being very romantic, he also knows how much you like it when he shows you how strong he is. wonwoo would definitely manhandle you into bending over for him if that's what you want - and he's not gonna lie by saying that he doesn't like it when you become all putty in his hands because he's holding your hands firmly behind your back. it's quite good for his ego too to hear you gush about how attractive he is, how hot his strength and his muscles are. wonwoo also uses it to his advantage when you've been a little tease or that he's frustrated. all these hours spent at the gym are worth it when it allows him to hold you down against the mattress while he pounds into you until you're crying out his name and that tears are running down your face. of course, he's always mindful of any signs of discomfort when he's rougher, but you both love it when wonwoo doesn't hold back and ruins you. it feels rewarding to know that he can make his girl scream his name so loud that the neighbors complain the next day.

"i'm not gonna let you go until you're dripping baby, i need to have you again."

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream as when you fangirl over other kpop groups.

Mark Lee

He'll be glad to have his seniors sign your albums. It's fun to see that you fangirl over EXO and sometimes he would even join you too. But sometimes it concerns him because you're in the member's solo concerts, you constantly talk about them 24/7, and you even have a photocard collection of your bias. "I'm still your number one right?" Mark asked one day, and you have to assure him that you have boundaries as a fangirl. 

Huang Renjun

Renjun doesn't question why you like Seventeen. I mean, they're an all-rounder group. He often joins you in watching Going Seventeen, and it's fun to see your reaction when you discovered that he's close with some of the members. Renjun's very supportive of your fangirling and even gifted you an album with all the SVT members signed it. "Of course, anything for you love." he said, giving you a kiss. 

Lee Jeno

Jeno will wonder what's the hype about Riize when he caught you watching their music videos. Listen, their his juniors but he's a bit protective of you, even to his members. You assure him that you just like their music but when he caught you squealing over a photo of a Riize member, oh he'll be very clingy to you. "I should warn them that they should stay away from my girlfriend." You have to lecture your boyfriend to not scare his juniors. 

Lee Donghyuck

It'll confuse the hell out of him when you randomly asked if he can ask Ateez to sign your album. He's not even close with any Ateez members, and why! are! you! fangirling! over! other! kpop! groups!? but because you're practically giving him a puppy eye, he doesn't have the conscience to say no to you. "You're glad that I can't say no to you," he said. Don't worry, the moment he gave you the signed album, you showered him with love and kisses. 

Na Jaemin

Jaemin was a bit hesitant. Sure they're his seniors, but Jaemin just doesn't know how to approach Red Velvet without looking like a weirdo. But for his girlfriend, he will do anything! You've been a fan of Red Velvet since their debut, so it's meaningful for you to receive a signed album from them. The Velvet members squealed at how a sweet boyfriend Jaemin was, gladly accepting his request. "Anything to make her happy," Jaemin replies with a smile. 

Zhong Chenle

"You want to what?" Your boyfriend asked, confused. You've been a fan of Stray Kids lately, and then you remembered that Chenle is close with them. You ask your boyfriend if they can sign a merchandise that you bought. "Okay, do you want to meet one of the members too?" he asked, fishing out his phone. Of course, he'll be supportive and will be happy to see his close friends meet the love of his life. 

Park Jisung

He'll be in RELIEF that you're a fangirl of Aespa but he'll start sweating when you asked him if he can have the members signed an album you bought. He's awkward around girls and the only girl he feels comfortable around is you, so this is a huge challenge for him. But because he can't say no to you, he has to muster up the courage to approach Aespa even with a blushing ears. "It's for my girlfriend by the way..." he mumbled, looking away embarrassed. 

[kookslastbutton]

Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | chapter one

✑ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?

pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader

genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love,

word count: 6.5k+

warnings: oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, body insecurities, fear of being blacklisted, emotionally restrained yoon, unstable parental relationships, conservative parents, rude Hybe executive that should be fired, bestie!tae is wonderful support 🥹, and cute yoon and oc interactions bc yeah....its thier first time actually meeting so it must be cute!

now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets

a/n: YAHHH chapter one!! Ok i apologize if the meeting is so long and drawn out...I really tried to make it fun but so much info is needed too haha. Anyway this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and sorta beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!

Series Masterlist | next chapter >>

Winter in Seoul feels like stepping onto the set of your most beloved holiday film.

As the brisk air wraps around you, delicate snowflakes gather atop your head, urging you to cocoon in your finest wool trench coat. Yet, despite the chill, the sight of frost-bitten trees basking in the morning's golden rays offers a source of warmth and delight. Perhaps the most radiant tree of them all is the towering Christmas tree that sits proudly in the heart of the city. Adorned with shimmering red and gold baubles, the giant evergreen catches the eye of every person that walks by–both tourists and locals alike.

Nearby shopping malls buzz with holiday fervor too as shoppers scour for treasures, couples engage in friendly competition to find the ultimate gift, and children line up to take their picture with Santa. But the best part is when night falls. The whole city comes alive with joy and laughter as loved ones meet one another on the ice-skating rinks, while karaoke bars echo tipsy renditions of timeless songs sung by overworked professionals, each with a bottle of soju in hand.

Yes, Seoul is a place for making memories and you’re in the thick of it.

Having been in the city for three years, one might assume you’ve become well accustomed to the energy of the season. You've really grown to love it here. But adjusting to the new environment is still proving to be a challenge, the most outstanding being the prevailing beauty standards.

Massive billboards featuring stunning models serve as constant reminders of the type of beauty one should aim to achieve as you commute to work. Impossible to miss are the shining examples themselves – iconic k-pop groups Seventeen, Red Velvet, EXO, BlackPink, Mamamoo, TXT, and of course BTS plastered on the side of every flat surface imaginable. You’re not exactly complaining about that aspect as you’ve helped design a good handful of them as a top marketing and advertising professional. But the strict image of what constitutes a beautiful and worthy individual weighs on you more than you’d like.

While a conventional body type isn’t what you’ve been given in this life, you don’t consider yourself to be completely unattractive either. Having high cheekbones, a strong jawline, striking light brown eyes, good enough ass, and a full chest shouldn’t classify as undesirable. Still, you wish you’d adopt this more body positive mindset rather than your current overthinking one. It’s easier said than done, being that you not only see idols everyday on the streets in digital form but at work as well.

You continue further into city until a set of tall, glass doors meet you mere steps away. You tilt your head back to catch the name of the skyscraper before nearing the building’s sturdy, silver handle.

BigHit Music.

Feeling its cool metal under your fingertips, the door swings open with an easier pull than imagined to welcome you into the bustling lobby. You feel a rush of confidence return to you upon entering– this is your domain, this is where you truly shine.

“Did you get the files I sent to you?”

The woman nods her head in affirmation while sweeping a few pieces of her long, silky hair behind an ear. To strangers, she appears to look about 24 which is only four years younger than yourself but nonetheless she’s the same age as you. Hei-Ran is her name, meaning “graceful orchid” according to Korean translation.

Hei-ran is one of Hybe’s newest hires and based on her experience, a near perfect fit to being South Korean boy group Tomorrow X Together’s new marketing manager. Until about three months ago, this had been your job.

You never imagined giving up the position after three years of working in the role. But with December right around the corner Hybe had other plans for you.

"Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelors degree in BTech in Electrical and Electronics Engineering and a MBA in Marketing from NYU Stern. You worked two years as a brand manager for U.S record label Atlantic Records immediately after graduating, and are now working at BigHit Music as a marketing manager for TXT including liaison with their global marketing team.”

You recall Bang PD's voice vibrate in the back of your mind from mid-August. You thought you were called into his office to discuss details of TXT’s latest promo, so having your resume read back to you was a sweeping curve ball. Your determination must have far exceeded the heaviness you felt in your chest because before you knew it you, you were shaking hands with your boss in acceptance of your role – the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour.

The tedious knot that’s formed in the nape of your neck reminds you that as surreal as the situation might be, it’s undeniably real.

Months spent drafting a comprehensive marketing proposal for D-Day; often until the wee hours of the night, inevitably takes its toll on even the mightiest of warriors. An entire new team of fifty people, all of who you’ll be in charge of orchestrating for the next eight months, doesn’t provide much to relief either.

You’re excited nevertheless. Working with one of the most respected artists in the music industry is an opportunity you couldn’t let slip by, especially since the album’s rock-inspired genre aligns closely with your own music taste.

“Thank you so much for helping me get settled __,” Hei-ran’s gentle voice returns you to the present. “I appreciate the time you’ve taken these last few months to train me despite the tight deadlines you have.”

Smiling, you shake your head. “It’s no problem at all and if there’s anything you need in the future, feel free to give me a call or stop by my office.”

“On the 16th floor right?”

“1656A. Take a left off the elevator and walk to the end of the first hallway. The door on the right is mine.”

Referring to any room on the 16th floor as your own is something you don’t take lightly. For one the offices are double the size of any other office spaces in the building. Yours in particular has a giant skyscraper window draped with heavy white curtains. Secondly, the floor above is the 17th floor which is exclusive to Hybe artists only.

"How's the proposal coming along, by the way?" Her curiosity is palpable, genuine in its nature. You’ve always appreciated that in an individual.

“It’s done,” you respond. “Only thing left to do is to prepare for our meeting with C-suite executives next Monday. It’s nearly perfect as is, but the presentation could use a bit of refining in terms of organization.”

Hei-ran is silent for a moment longer than usual before her next inquiry, which is undoubtedly the question on both of your minds. “I can't help but wonder what it'll be like to meet him for the first time,” she muses.

You don’t bother asking for clarification on who the “him” is; you’re already well aware that it’s Min Yoongi. The same subject has managed to intrude your own thoughts more and more as the date of meeting him draws closer. It's peculiar honestly, considering you’ve encountered him before.

Granted, it was only a small handful of times the hallway, both heading in opposite directions. Min Yoongi typically greeted you with a hoarse 'Good Morning' those instances, along with a curt nod of his head. You would nod back with a brief 'Morning' yourself. Deep down you feel he'd make a quality friend, though it's only a premonition. It’s not like you actually know much about him beyond those small exchanges.

"I'm not sure what to expect, honestly," you admit. "I imagine it'll be similar to previous professional collaborations—composed, focused, and intense. D-Day is poised to become a global sensation for the next year, so it's going to need our full, undivided attention."

Hei-ran gives a knowing nod. “Good luck __,” she wishes you well as you head towards the elevator doors. Breaks over, back to work.

After another late-night prep session for Monday’s D-Day proposal, you trudge through your apartment door well past 8:30 pm with an empty stomach and a throbbing headache. Good news is that your graphic design team seems to be well on track with their album mockups ready to present.

The same can’t be said for your U.S. promo team however, who required additional guidance on their projects. The social media team was in a similar boat. Somehow several of their members lost track of time and were convinced the proposal was still two weeks away.

Despite the hiccups, you managed to tie up the loose ends, but it meant that none of you got to leave early.

When you finally get to curl up in your fluffy sofa, a loud, exasperated sigh leaves your lips. Your lids flutter shut too as you rest your head against the soft cushion. Silently, you make one last mental rundown of all the tasks you checked off today.

Did you miss anything?

D-Day is the most crucial project you’ve ever taken charge of—you need it to be flawless.

When nothing pressing comes to mind, you grab the tv remote from your dark oak coffee table and aimlessly flip through the channels. You’ll unwind for an hour and then call it a night.

Ten minutes into an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and the light chime of your phone's notification bell catches your ear.

Tae 💚: Haven’t heard from you all day. Everything alright?

Taehyung, your best friend. You smile fondly at his message as your thumbs hover over the reply button. He's always checking in on you. You and Taehyung have been friends ever since you first moved to Seoul and started working at Hybe. You didn't expect your friendship to become this strong, but both of you are sociable individuals, which led to discovering several unexpected commonalities. One of those is a shared love for jazz, which has been one of your all-time favorite genres for as long as you can remember.

You: yeah, I’m good. Just tired. Been working on D-Day's proposal for months and finally got it fully prepped for.

Tae 💚: Well, that's amazing news! You feel good about it?

You: I don't know. I’m definitely ready for this project but I’m also starting to feel a little burned out. The proposal is only the beginning you know, and it's already taking the wind out of me.

Tae 💚: Sorry to hear that 😞 I'm sure it must be draining, but I also know this is your territory. No one is more fit to head this project than you. Everyone thinks so. How about you take the weekend to rest?

You: Yeah...I'm watching B99 rn

Tae 💚: B99?! Without me?

You can't help but giggle. Somehow over the course of three years you've roped your best friend into becoming obsessed with your mindless sitcoms. You've done more than a handful of binge watching together, until all hours of the night.

You: Wanna come over for an hour?

The company might be nice.

Tae 💚: Be there in 20 🏃

Your door bells rings exactly twenty minutes after you and Taehyng finish exchanging texts. He's so prompt it scares you sometimes.

“Hey.” His deep, baritone voice greets you first, along with a friendly hug. Taehyung slips his snow covered boots off upon entering your apartment and hangs his wool jacket on your coat rack. His limited edition Gucci scarf is next. Taehyung loves the winter as it’s the time he can wear his most luxurious clothes.

“What’s this?” You peak inside a brown paper bag that Taehyung has conveniently set on your kitchen countertop. He flashes you a playful grin and gestures you to open it. Naturally, you're suspicious but it all washes away when a new, unopened bottle of whiskey presents itself. “Oh my god, you didn’t!" You swat his arm in a rush of excitement.

“I had to!" Taehyung opens a kitchen cupboard and grabs a glass from the top shelf. He's been in your apartment enough times that he’s grown comfortable with your place. That and he's also your best friend.

"With all the recent events you've had going on, I think it calls for a celebration." Taehyung expertly pours you a glass of the smooth, rich liquor and offers it to you.

“Thank you, Tae," you say, taking the glass from his hand. "Come sit down. Jake's about to sing I Want It That Way with the police lineup.” Taehyung pours himself a glass of Pinot Noir and follows your lead.

After about forty minutes of sitcoms and booze with your best friend you begin to feel yourself relaxing. Whatever challenges lies ahead, you know you'll be able to handle them one whiskey at a time.

All stream of thought is interrupted when your phone dings off again. It's now half past 9, who on earth is trying to reach you?

Fuck.

You tighten the grip on your phone as soon aa the message appears. Taehyung, previously occupied by the end credit scene, catches the sudden shift in your demeanor and calls your name but he's inaudible to you.

Mom: It’s been almost two weeks since we last heard from you. We know you're busy but your father and I want to know if you’ll be coming home. The holidays are coming up right? Why don't you use some of that time to come see us? There's someone we want you to meet.

"__, who is it?" Taehyung's voice manages to break your intense concentration.

“Just my mom.” You answer briefly, still averting eye contact.

“What’d she say?”

“She wants me to come home for the holidays.” You shut your phone off in an effort to calm yourself.

Unlike Taehyung your relationship with your parents has always been rocky. Expectations are set high from birth and you never see eye to eye. Likely, the only accomplishment that's earned genuine praise from them was when you accepted your initial job proposal with Hybe. A respectable career is only second to health to them after all. Your father was more torn with the news that you’d be moving hundreds of miles away than your mom however, not that you’re surprised.

Of course while having a healthy and respectable career is priority for your parents, there is no mistake that their greatest wish is to see their daughter married. A stable man with ample resources to provide her a secure home and healthy children is preferable.

You love your parents and you'll always be there for them, but you must admit that their traditional outlook is one you can never live up to. They tried setting you up dozens of times before, and tonight's request to have you come home "for the holidays to meet someone” is simply another attempt to marry you off.

Yes, you would like some sort of companionship in your life and you hope if you find it that they’ll approve. But giving your hand in marriage to the first notable suitor isn't your forte. You consider yourself to be an independent woman with a tender heart, and you'd rather be single for the entirety of your life than be forced into another obligation.

Preserving your independence is highly important to you. So no, you draw the line when it comes to relational affairs.

If only you could be firm and repeat all the above to them aloud, rather than within your own head— if only.

“So are you gonna go?"

You don't respond immediately, still weighing out your options. "Not sure," you murmur. "I don't really want to but maybe I should. I haven't gone home to see my parents since last year."

Taehyung recognizes the growing tension in your voice as well as the flushed expression playing on your face. He wishes he could take it all away but instead he moves closer to your side of the sofa and lets you rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He's silent for a moment before continuing. "Why don't you tell them you can't go because of work? There must be a number of things you'll need to get ahead of for Yoongi's album."

"True. But it's too easy, they won't buy that. I have to go."

"What if you say I invited you to celebrate with my family this year? We're going to a nice, cozy cabin a few hours north of here for Christmas."

The offer is temping and you know he means it but it's also not enough.

"No," you reject. "They'll think we're dating and ask to meet you."

"I'll do it!" Taehyung's voice lifts into a more playful tone, earning a soft chuckle from you.

"Very cute Taetae, but no. Neither of us are going to say 'that was a good idea' in the end, trust me. I'll have to make this decision on my own."

Taehyung grimaces slightly at your last choice of words. "I really think you should consider telling them you can't due to a full schedule. We don't get that much time off at the company any way. Don't your parents live at least 7-10 hours away? Come on, spend the holidays with me and the guys. Plus, it'll be my birthday soon. I want you there at my party."

When you look at your best friend to gently scold him for not so sneakily using the guilt tripping technique, he's pouting. Like a baby. Not even you can resist him with that face on.

"Fine. I'll think about it."

"Good," Taehyung chirps and snatches the tv remote to flip through episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. "I want you to be around those closest to you, especially around the holidays. You're my badass best friend who deserves more than some stupid forced marriage to a guy with an unhealthy alpha male complex. Should we top the night off with one more episode by the way?"

You nod and Taehyung hits play on the remote. "Thank you," you coo, feeling a tad better.

The weekend is a blur at best and you’re back at the office before you realize. Of course this is no ordinary work day however, given that today signifies the day you officially start work as D-Day’s marketing director. You’ve been perfecting every detail of the proposal like a madman since the beginning, meticulously obessing over every element. Your new team members must have a pretty eye-opening understanding of what it’ll be like having you as a lead for the next year–you pity them to be honest.

Between your fingers clutches a small tube of lip balm, berry flavored with a faint tint to match. You love chapstick for some odd, inexplainable reason and you felt the need to apply a generous amount of it on your lips for good luck.

“No one’s here yet,” Yi-joon, one of the members of your graphic design team, speaks first upon stepping foot into your assigned conference room. Others hum, unsurprised. Being the ones leading the presentation, you’d be startled if anyone actually arrived beforehand.

A grand mahogany table, seating up to 14 individuals, boasts itself to you in the middle of the room with every chair lined in genuine black leather. Traditional seating arrangements have one chair at the head of the table, but today’s meeting has two, both positioned to face the wide presentation screen at the opposite end.

Undoubtably, they’re reserved for Bang PD and Min Yoongi.

A momentary shiver courses down your spine, yet fades quick when one of your team members asks if anyone's seen the remote to the projector. There’s no time for nerves to be acting up, you remind yourself calmly. Only 15 minutes remain until every C-suite executive in Hybe congregates into the room.

With a composed demeanor, you swiftly gather your thoughts and respond, "Try checking inside the podium. It's likely close by, but if not, we can always power it on manually." You then start delegating tasks to the rest of your team, mentally rehearsing key points of the proposal between each instruction.

Time appears to have vanished in the blink of an eye because in a matter of seconds a gentle breeze slips through the conference door, accompanied by the arrival of several Hybe executives. You offer a polite "good morning," which is briefly reciprocated as they take their respective seats around the conference table.

You count twelve at the table in total, including your own team.

"Sajangnim should be here in about–"

Hybe's Chief Finance Officer doesn't get to finish his sentence when an older gentleman in a freshly pressed suit walks through the door, fully immersed in conversation. The person following close behind him is none other than the man of the hour himself–Min Yoongi, fitted in a clean white dress shirt that's unbuttoned at the collar and sleeves rolled to the elbows. His soft, raven hair falls gently in front of his eyes, framing his face a little too well.

Unexpectedly, both your gazes shift from Bang PD and onto one another. His dark, intense eyes pierce through you as they observe you from the opposite side of the room. You're certain he recognizes you from your previous shared encounters, though you don't have the slightest clue what he's thinking. Min Yoongi has been known to be many things, but an open book isn't one of them.

He then walks in your direction until he's directly toe to toe with you for the very first time. Completely against your wishes, you feel all the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand straight. You've never officially met before.

"It's nice to finally meet you __-nim. Those nods we give each other in the hallway hardly count as a proper introduction." He extends a hand to you, offering you a sturdy handshake which you accept.

"Absolutely, it's a pleasure to meet you as well Min PD-nim," you say, smiling warmly. "I'm looking forward to working with you on your new album. I truly appreciate the opportunity."

For a split second, Yoongi allows his professional demeanor drop. "I should be the one thanking you. You'll be the one leading this whole operation right? So I'll be in your care."

You want to respond with gratitude, but you're not given the chance due to an authoritative voice speaking up from behind.

"Min PD-nim," Hybe's Vice President calls out to the man in front of you, requesting his attention.

Yoongi is hesitant to leave you mid-conversation but you assure him that it's alright. "Please, feel free to take a seat," you offer. "The presentations will begin soon."

A small, subtle smile graces Yoongi's lips before he turns around to take his seat beside Bang PD at the head of the table. He engages in small talk with Hybe's Vice President who's conveniently seated across from him. Yet despite their conversation, he's only half focused; his eyes repeatedly wandering back to you. At this point, however, you've already stopped looking at him.

"Good morning, all," you address the room when the time comes to commence the meeting. "We'll be getting started now that everyone's here. I'm sending down samples of the album design our graphics team has created for D-Day. Please pass them along." You hand the stack of copies to Hybe's Chief Technology Officer who smiles courteously.

"On behalf of my team and me, I want to thank you for joining us today to discuss our marketing strategy for Min PD-nim's upcoming D-Day album. Our agenda will be as follows," you guide everyone's attention to the presentation board, which provides a rundown of all the points you plan to cover for the remainder of the meeting.

"Let's begin with introductions. My name is ___ ___, I hold a Bachelor's degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering from NYU Stern, as well as an MBA in Marketing. Over the past five years, I've worked in the music industry as a marketing manager. Three of those years were spent here at Hybe. The recent promotional campaign for TXT's The Chaos Chapter was lead by my previous team and me, resulting in a positive return on investment. Now, with a new team, I aim to achieve similar success with Min PD-nim's D-Day album."

Once you finish your introduction, you introduce each member of your team. This is soon followed by a brief introduction from each c-suite executive.

The whole room falls silent when you begin diving into the bulk of the proposal; every measurable objective, goal, and market analysis is shared for D-Day. When it comes time to present the brand guide and album design, you invite your graphics team to speak.

"You'll notice that we have two versions of Min PD-nim's albums on the sheet in front of you," Yi-joon refers to the mockups you handed out earlier. A few executives nod quietly as they study the proposed album packaging while Yoongi leans over to Bang PD. He's whispering something but you're far to distant away to hear. His expressions aren't telling either.

Does he like it? Does he not? You don't know.

Nevertheless, you give a subtle smile to Yi-joon as encouragement to continue.

 "We've opted for a sleek, pitch-black design for the first version, and a dusty brown for the second. The first version symbolizes the past, characterized by societal expectations and internal struggles, while the second represents the present and future, conveying a message of liberation. To complement these themes, we've selected a bold and daring font to exude the album's transparency. This design consistency extends to the album's contents; for instance, lyrical cards will reflect the respective color and style of the version they belong to."

Hybe's Chief Marketing Officer appears to be in approval with the entirety of the plan so far, yet it's short lived when a low voice interrupts.

"I think the vision of album's design aligns closely with mine, so I like what I see in front of me." Yoongi pauses and places the mockup on the table. "There's one aspect that I'd like to discuss in hopes of some insight however. I've been mauling over it for a while now."

"I'll do my best to–" Hybe's Chief Marketing Officer opens his mouth to respond yet closes it immediately when he notices Yoongi's gaze sharply shifts to you. It's a signal that it's your insight he specifically requests.

"Please go on," you reply.

"Regarding the name under which the album should be released, should it be 'Agust D' or 'Suga'? I'm personally biased towards Agust D because it holds more weight for me. It's close to my heart and the stories I have to tell as Agust D are heavier than those of Suga, right? The D even stands for Daegu, my hometown where I grew up and where my parents still live. Suga on the other hand is my stage name, which I have some identity in as well."

You don't answer immediately, preferring to carefully process everything he's said. Your team has already proposed to release the album under 'Agust D', yet he makes a valid point that 'Suga' is also a part of him.

"I understand that releasing the album under 'Suga' has its merit. However, I still support the original idea of releasing it under 'Agust D'. As you've mentioned, the name carries a deeper meaning, evoking memories, emotions, trials, and tribulations. I'd also like to emphasize that by releasing D-Day under 'Agust D', you can showcase who the real Agust D is. The collaboration with IU in People Pt. 2 already has you one step in that door."

Like you, Yoongi considers your words cautiously, weighing them in his mind. "Thank you ___-nim," he finally speaks. "Your perspective is reassuring. We'll proceed with releasing the album under 'Agust D'.

Following your short discussion, the graphics team continues presenting their design materials. Minor comments are made by Hybe executives, but Yoongi doesn't comment again until half-way into the social media segment.

"Why do we need to schedule this many Weverse Lives? People might get tired of seeing my face after so many in a row. ARMY will read, 'Min Yoongi started a live' and say to their friends, 'This is the fifth time in a row, is he in love with his own voice or something?'." His joke sparks a light in the room as Bang PD gives a chuckle.

"I don't think that's going to be an issue for you Yoongi," he replies. "Don't you know the strength of your own fanbase?" Bang PD's statement is undeniable. Everyone in the room is well aware of Min Yoongi's international fanbase who willingly stay up all hours of the night just to catch a glimpse of him. In fact, rather than seeing less of him, they hope to receive his live notifications more, as Yoongi isn't as active on Weverse as other idols.

It's clear that compliments like these aren't easy for Yoongi to take though, judging by the flushed look that subtly sweeps over his face. You'd react the same way to be honest.

"If I may Min PD-nim," you speak up, deciding to offer an alternative plan. "Leveraging Weverse Live to help promote D-Day will draw significant international engagement. We know that time differences pose to be a challenge which is why we proposed an increase of live sessions per week. However, we understand that going live this often might be exhausting. Would you consider reducing the frequency to once or twice a week instead?"

"I'm open to once a week but didn't we film the 'Suga: Road to D-Day' documentary for a similar reason? Won't it be too much to add more than two Weverse Lives throughout the entire promotional phase?" Yoongi's challenge is met with an unanimous hum of support from his fellow executives. You'd feel intimidated if you didn't already have a justification mapped out.

"The objective behind releasing 'Suga: Road to D-Day' on Disney+ differs from that of Weverse Lives," you rebuttal confidently. "While the documentary presents a structured behind-the-scenes view of D-Day's development, the Lives focus on building hype among your existing fans who know you well, will spread the word to their peers, and will likely pre-order the album. As you're aware, Lives are more personal and stripped down, allowing your fanbase to feel closer to you."

Thinking of no further objectives, Yoongi, still somewhat unsure, accepts your suggestion. "Once a week will be fine then. While we're still on the topic, do we know when 'Suga: Road to D-Day' is set to release on Disney+?"

"Our digital marketing and promo team will be reviewing the specifics of that soon," you inform. "Right now we have the documentary releasing April 23 of next year. The poster for the film will release a week and a half earlier on the 12th."

Rather than furthering the discussion, Yoongi sends an understanding nod your way which allows the social media team to resume their portion of the proposal. Recording more Weverse Lives than usual remains a pain point for him, but he's willing to move forward if it means connecting with his fanbase.

Alast, after what seems like three hours of social media; followed by financing & budget talk, the last team to present their material takes lead of the meeting.

"We'd like to provide a timeline for D-Day's promo schedule as a way to wrap up today's proposal," So-hyun from your digital marketing and promos team explains. "Promotions will begin April 10, 2023 and will run until April 25th. During this time the album's track list, concept photos, MV Teaser, and official MV will drop. As far as concert schedule, we're proposing April 26-June 24. These dates include U.S, Asia, and Korea Tours."

"We might need to rethink concert dates but for now I'm on onboard." Yoongi remains brief in his interjection, allowing So-hyun to continue.

"As far as other marketing channels, we plan to implement both print and digital methods including billboards, banners, paid search ads, and YouTube. We'd also like to reach out to a variety of magazines like Rolling Stones Magazine for interviews. If we want to extend our global reach even further, we can book a time slot on the Jimmy Fallon Show. Bare in mind that if we go this route, we'll need to decide fairly quick, as slots are in high demand."

You notice Bang PD whispering amongst Yoongi and his Chief Finance Officer when Jimmy Fallon is mentioned. Yoongi seems the least interested. Perhaps he isn't fond of being front and center of talk shows, you guess.

"When will we need a decision for the Jimmy Fallon Show?" Bang PD inquires for the group.

"No later than three weeks from now," So-hyun answers. "It's a tight deadline but it can been done if we get the official go."

Bang PD directs his attention to Yoongi who's chosen to be silent in this conversation. "What do you think, Yoongi? It's your call."

"Maybe," he says, "give me a day or two to think on it."

Another ten minutes of productive overview with your promos team pass and soon, you're standing up to adjourn the meeting. You have to admit that out of all the proposals you've given in your career, this goes right to the top.

Your team was phenomenal today, and despite the the fact that several Hybe executives are biting at the bit to finally go on their lunch break, you feel confident that everyone is leaving on the same page.

"Min PD-nim."

You're ears inevitably pick up the conversation in front of you as you make your way out of the conference room. Yoongi and his Chief Financial Officer are running through some quick numbers only a few steps steps ahead, but with everyone simultaneously rushing in the same direction, neither must have realized you were within earshot.

"There's no doubt that she's good at what she does," Hybe's Chief Financial Officer continues. "Still, it's hard to believe that she's only 27 or 28. A person should take better care of themselves don't you agree? Like our Eunchae for example."

If there was a way to erase what you just heard, you'd do so, because in an instant, all previous successes you felt from today's proposal shatters to the ground. You're no stranger to receiving these sorts of comments about your appearance, yet it leaves your confidence fleeting, along with any amount of resilience you've built.

Blinking back the tears that threaten to spill, you exit the conference room the first chance you get. You have no desire to stick around for Yoongi's reply.

Not long after you leave does you phone ring off.

Tae 💚: Hey! How's the meeting going? Still available to get lunch this afternoon? I'm heading to the cafeteria as I type this.

You: It went okay. But I don't think I'll be coming to lunch, just a lot to do. I'm also not that hungry.

You second-guess how convincing your message is, knowing that it's your best friend on the other line. Regardless, it's the only words you can come up with right now. You really do have a lot of work ahead of you though, at least that part is true.

Tae 💚: Are you sure? I was looking forward on hearing how the meeting went! Wasn't there something you had to give me too?

The meaning of the last line suddenly dawns on you as you make your way down the long hallway. How could you forget? You made Taehyung one of his favorite foods to surprise him for lunch; Japchae, a sweet and savory dish of stir-fried glass noodles and vegetables.

You: Right, sorry it slipped from my mind for a second. I'll meet you in the cafeteria to give it to you.

"Why won't you stay and eat with me?" Taehyung devours the homemade Japchae you made for him with delight, a pair of chopsticks clamped in his hand.

"I don't have much of an appetite, Tae."

You've already told him this twice already, clarifying that you'd be heading back to your office once you deliver his food. Evidently, he's not letting you slip away easily.

"Then take a break with me instead, even if it's only for ten minutes." You watch as your best friend swiftly pulls out the chair next to him from under the table, gesturing you to sit. "Tell me what's got you down," he says. "Did Yoongi say something to you? He can be a bit too outspoken with his opinions sometimes."

Feeling defeated, you slide into the chair. "No, the meeting was fine. I'm just overthinking something that happened."

You then proceed to explain what you overheard Hybe's Chief Finance Officer say about you from earlier, that you didn't look healthy enough for your age and using Eunchae as an example. The scowl that appears on Taehyung's face as you retell the incident is unmistakable–he's clearly pissed.

"First of all," Taehyung starts once you finish, jaw clenched. "Eunchae is 17 and is a part of a Korean girl group. She has an entire team dedicated to making sure her appearance is flawless. It's the idol life; trust me, I'm well acquainted with it, so it's not a fair comparison. Secondly, Hybe's CFO is an asshole who I'd replace in a day. I don't want you letting him make you feel insignificant just because you don't conform to his narrow idea of how a woman should look."

You appreciate Taehyung's efforts to cheer you up, though you remain unaffected. Besides, he still isn't aware of Yoongi's involvement since you purposely left that detail out due to their close friendship.

"Yeah, I don't know. We don't have to talk about it anymore." You decide to dismiss the topic entirely and reach for your phone, along with a pair of earbuds bundled in your pocket. "Wanna listen to something?"

Music has always bonded you and Taehyung's friendship, as you've frequently found yourselves fully immersed in timeless songs from King of Leon and Led Zeppelin together. Taehyung nearly accepts the offer to listen with you once again, but then he freezes all movement. An eager grin follows close after.

"Hyung!" His voice echos though the room, earning the attention of Min Yoongi who's just entered the cafeteria. This time, you feel nothing but discomfort when the man looks your way.

"I have some material I need to review from my promo team. I'll text you later, okay?" You leave your best friend no time to reply as you quickly rise from your chair, stick your phone in your pant pocket, and head for the nearest exit. Yoongi attempts to make eye contact with you on your way out, but you avoid it completely.

When he approaches Taehyung, he acknowledges your semi-odd behavior. "I didn't mean to make her leave," he states, joining the younger at the table.

Taehyung offers a light shrug in response. "Don't worry, you didn't. She had other matters to get to. Something with her team members I think."

Yoongi grabs a fresh clementine from a nearby fruit bowl and beings peeling it little by little. "You two must be pretty close if you're having your lunches together."

It's not hard for Taehyung to read between the lines of what his member is insinuating.

"We've been friends for a while," he clarifies. "Just friends, nothing else."

a/n: Hope you enjoyed! Lmk what you think 🥰

Masterlist | Requests: closed | Taglist | Fic Recs

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[vitaminkyeom]

could i request a dk fic where the reader is a lresenter at an awards show and has to read out the winner for one of the daesangs ( like mama album of the year award where they won!) and how all of it goes down and stuff ( like the reader and dks relationships public knowledge so it makes jt even more fluffier!!)

PAIRING || Seokmin x Female Reader

GENRES || Fluff, Idol!Seokmin, Idol!Reader

WARNINGS || none

WORD COUNT || 0.6k

A/N || i'm so so sorry this took me so much time. but i really loved this idea tbh it was just so cute! i hope you like this fic. requests are open !!!

TAGLIST || ​@romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 @cecedrake2217 @candidupped @ashkuuuu @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @sea-moon-star @thepoopdokyeomtouched @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @mnstxmnbb [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

[00:08]

“wait, what? don’t tell me-” seokmin gasped, staring at the stage with eyes wide open as you walked in with a bright smile, bowing and greeting the audience seated.

“didn’t you know?” seungkwan asked, to which seokmin shook his head in negative, mouth still hanging open in surprise. how come you had never told him this before? even yesterday when the two of you had talked before going to bed, you had not even mentioned it in passing when he had said that he hoped that they would win a daesang this time.

but now that seokmin thought more about yesterday’s conversation, he realised that you had said that you had a surprise for him. was this what you had meant?

“i didn’t. i didn’t know at all. ” he replied. “but y/n did say she had a surprise for me.” 

you smiled at the crowd once more before greeting into the mic. “good evening, everyone. a beautiful night, isn’t it?”

seokmin smiled involuntarily, feeling his heart melt at the sweet way you were talking. then the he heard the scream, causing him to finally tear his eyes away from you and look at the screen. to his surprise, the camera had panned to him to capture his expression, and he felt his cheeks heat up.

“don’t make it so obvious.” minghao snickered beside him, causing him to elbow him lightly. but some of his members like soonyoung had begun pointing at him and then at you, before making hearts, causing the crowd to go more wild.

seokmin felt his heart burst out of embarrassment even more as he watched you too faltered at your speech a little, biting your lips so as to not smile too much. 

“hey.” chan said, his eyes lighting up. “maybe the surprise was that the winners of album of the year-”

“and the award goes to…” you said, carefully opening the envelope. then your eyes crinkled as you smiled even more brightly, before leaning into the mic once again. “seventeen!”

the roar around him was almost deafening. he felt someone yank him up by an arm and pull him into a hug, as he tried processing what was happening around him.

they had won? they had won? but wasn’t he just staring at your face a few seconds ago-

the next thing he knew he was being pushed on to the stage with the entire group. he could feel people still applauding them and congratulating them from behind and he felt his heart swell with happiness. 

they had won. after all these years of hard work, they had finally won a daesang. 

as he approached you, he could feel himself getting giddier and giddier. you were beaming at him with such a proud smile, that seokmin felt like he was in heaven. he could not have been happier than ever. he had the best members, the best fans, he was doing what he loved and finally being rewarded for his hard work. and he had you.

you, who had tears in your eyes right now as you carefully handed the prize to jeonghan, before he indicated you to give it to seokmin instead. you, who loved him and cherished him so much.

and right now, the entire screaming of the crowd died down to nothing as all the lights dimmed around you, causing you to practically glow as you silently whispered a congratulations. seokmin felt his own eyes prick with tears a bit, being brought to reality only when his own members ‘ooh’-ed with the crowd when the two of your hands met. 

as you bowed to the members one last time and made your way out, seokmin saw you secretly wave him a tiny goodbye. 

turning back to the crowd, he let out a happy sigh. he had to thank you for your surprise later on.

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

[taurusdaylight]

he fell first, and he fell harder

summary. jeong jaehyun really loves basketball. but also, he’s terribly in love with his childhood best friend of seventeen years, you.

pairing. basketball captain! jaehyun x fem! childhood best friend reader

genre. basketball captain! au, college! au, childhood best friends-to-lovers! au, slow burn, mutual pining, angst with fluff

word count. 18,705

warnings/tags. cursing, drinking, a few angsty moments of quarrelling :(, mentions of food, dual-pov, many many taylor swift references (especially from the lover album!!!) bc i am insane, a few of the other nct members make a cameo in this!

(long) a/n. did i expect the word count? no. i did not… but i’ll never let the jaehyun bolton agenda die down, so i’m immortalising it through my writing. i also don’t know how i’m able to churn out this many words but have trouble coming up with the title… but i thought it would be fitting! (my google doc title is literally “jaehyun bolton” …) this has bits and pieces of high school musical, the summer i turned pretty, and dear. m in it <3 don't usually capitalise my works because it's a bit of a hassle (i write on both mobile and laptop) but since this is a long fic i tried capitalising it... hopefully there aren't many errors lol. sorry for the long a/n but as always i hope you enjoy this~ pls lmk ur thoughts and if i missed out any warnings!!

–

“You coming to my game tomorrow?” Jaehyun asked, eyes not leaving his screen. 

Clad in a black hoodie, the Computer Science major had been working on his assignment for the past three hours. Cigarettes After Sex record on loop, it’s occasionally accompanied by his rapid, and sometimes, aggressive keyboard typing. Mumbles of apology follow after he thinks he’s being too disruptive, but you don’t pay any mind to it. 

You were on Jaehyun’s bed, begrudgingly watching your lecture that you’d missed on Monday because you slept through your alarm that morning. Alarms, to be exact. Your eyelids already felt heavy from listening to your professor drone on about how rain is formed. No offence to him, but you were simply taking this Geography module to clear your general education credits.

Jaehyun's voice shook you awake, even if it’s just by a little bit. Taking out one of your earbuds even though you’d already paused the video, you looked through the mental image of your calendar that you have in your head to see if you had anything planned for the next day, but nothing came to mind.

“Probably,” you shrugged. 

You’ve never been one to miss any of his games, so you most likely cleared your schedule for it already. Besides, it’s not like you could bring yourself to not watch his games in the first place, especially not when your childhood best friend slash neighbour is the star player of the school. Not forgetting that he’s also the captain of the basketball team who has led them to victory after victory through the years.  

Being in his life for more than a decade, you wanted nothing more than to be a part of every chapter of Jaehyun’s life, just as how he’s been there for yours.

An elated yes! sounds across the room, causing you to look at him weirdly. 

Jaehyun has this habit of saying something, and then getting distracted by something else even though only mere seconds have passed. When he eventually goes back to the topic, he doesn’t remember where to pick up from. 

“Sorry. Where was I?” Jaehyun finally turned his chair away from the computer, an indication that he was finally done with his assignment. Making eye contact with your best friend who’s now stretching his arms because he’d been sitting in the same position for a long period of time, you forced yourself to bite back a smile. There’s just something about having extensive knowledge about someone to the point that you’re able to predict their mannerisms. Completing their sentences, even.

“Your game,” you refreshed his bad memory, “I’ll be there.”

“Right,” he smiled. 

“Chinese takeout at my place afterwards?” Jaehyun confirmed, and you nodded excitedly in agreement before going back to your lecture.

Ever since Jaehyun started playing for the basketball team in high school, the two of you have made it a point to celebrate with each other by buying takeout from a Chinese restaurant within your neighbourhood. 

Don’t get Jaehyun wrong, he’s an extrovert who feeds off the energy that he receives from spending time with other people. It's just unfortunate that celebratory parties did the opposite, draining every bit of his remaining energy that he had left after a physically demanding game. 

Socialising skills thrown out of the window, he finds himself wanting to leave even though he’d only arrived at the party for a few minutes. Along with loud party music blasting from the speakers and getting squeezed by random bodies as he tries to make his way around the frat house, his discomfort multiplies tenfold. All he can think about is leaving. 

If Jaehyun had a choice, he’d choose not to show up at all, but that would be very rude of him. 

So instead, this is what he does: go to the party, strategically mingle around his teammates, and sometimes stick around for a round of beer pong to make it seem like he’s been really involved. By seven-thirty, he’ll be making his way back home to you, waiting for him with his favourite jjamppong. 

Of course, Jaehyun enjoyed partying with his teammates. In fact, he’s been through hell and back with them, so it would make the most sense to celebrate the team’s win together considering the amount of time and effort they’ve put in. It's just, Jaehyun loves spending time with you too. It’s as simple as that. Granted, you two practically see each other twenty-four seven. But could any measure of time with you be ever enough? He didn’t think so. 

It’s like how the two of you could have separately completed your schoolwork today. Yet, you spent the day together again, which proved that best friends truly didn’t always need a special reason to meet. That’s how things have been between the both of you, and how he intended to keep it.

Shuffled footsteps sounding across the room, Jaehyun walked over to his window to draw the blinds when he noticed that the sun had already started to set, letting some natural light into his room. He turned back, bemusingly shaking his head when his eyes landed on your lying figure. Making yourself comfortable on his bed and snuggling into his blanket, he reckoned that you’ve stopped paying attention to the lecture a long time ago. 

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.” Jaehyun turned off the air conditioner and record player, grabbing his phone and wallet from his desk before walking over to his bed. “Let’s get dinner.”

“I wasn’t sleeping!”

You sat up, glaring at Jaehyun because of his false accusation. An incredulous look on his face because of your reaction, he laughed at your poor attempt to fight back. Messy bed hair and tired eyes, anyone would have thought that you’d just woken up from a nap.

“And I’m not done yet, I still have ten minutes of the lecture left,” you informed him. But before you could resume your lecture, Jaehyun hurriedly closed the lid of your laptop, prying it out of your hands to leave it on his desk. 

“What was that for? I said I wasn't done.” You whined, his impatience starting to irk you. 

“The lecture is two hours long.”

“And?” you asked, not really seeing his point.

“And it’s been three hours!” Jaehyun stated matter-of-factly as though you weren’t aware. “If you actually paid attention, you’d be done by now.”

Your expression darkened at his words.

Now, you’re well aware of the fact that Jaehyun is a top student with multiple scholarships and stellar grades. He never fails to keep up with his weekly readings and always submits his assignments on time. Sometimes it's even submitted days prior to the actual deadline. Jaehyun's consistency is one of the many aspects that you greatly admire about him. Even so, it didn’t feel very nice to have him rub it into your face that he was more productive than you were, given that the both of you had the same duration to complete your individual tasks.

“You’re being very mean, Jaehyun.”

Pulling the blanket away from your body, you got up from his bed. “I may not be a genius like you, but at least I'm trying.” You avoided his eyes, not wanting to look at him in fear that you’ll start a petty argument with him over something so trivial. It's been a long day, so maybe you were being overly sensitive too.

“Hey,” Jaehyun extended a hand out to your forearm, gaze softening upon seeing how upset you looked. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

“I–” his mouth closes, unable to find the right words to say. 

“Hey, you look tired. Let’s continue studying after dinner?”

Why didn’t he just say that from the start? It’s not even that difficult. He may not be the best with words, but he sure felt terrible for being the reason you’re upset. 

His grip on your arm tightened. “I’m sorry,” his voice resigned, Jaehyun apologised again. “Let's not fight over this, please?”

You removed Jaehyun’s hand from your arm, finally turning to look up at him. And there they were, the infamous puppy eyes he’d give you whenever he wanted to apologise or ask you for a favour. At that sight, you couldn’t help but let a tired sigh leave your lips. 

This is the Jaehyun that you’ve come to know. 

Treating everything as if it’s a competition. Too honest with his words. Impulsively saying his thoughts out loud without considering how others may interpret it, then realising that it’s too late to take back what he said if it ended up being too harsh. It’s not necessarily a bad thing because you could always depend on him to give you his truthful opinion without sugarcoating. He told you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted to hear.

Nonetheless, it was also times like this that made you wish he’d think before he speaks. Although you were slightly offended by what he said, you also understood where he was coming from. He’s tired, you’re tired, and there’s no better time than now to take a break. 

“I accept your apology,” you said, moving to open his room door. “But dinner’s on you.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun responded almost instantly, going over to stand behind you. He placed two hands on your shoulders and started massaging them before saying, “I’ll get you caramel milk tea with pearls too.” And even though you were not facing him, you could already see his frown from earlier disappear. 

“With less ice and less sugar,” he added. 

You’ll be lying if hearing him repeat your bubble tea order perfectly didn’t bring a smile to your face, but Jeong Jaehyun shall not get the satisfaction of knowing that. 

–

You first met Jaehyun when you were five.

It was a Friday afternoon, and you were very excited because your mum promised that she would bring you to the neighbourhood playground. You were supposed to go on Monday, but it has been raining heavily so you had no choice but to (quite literally) take a rain check on that. And fortunately, the sun was finally out today, shining brighter than it ever did this past week. 

As a kid, the neighbourhood playground was one of your favourite places. Other than having different types of slides, there was also a suspended rope bridge that you’d occasionally go on if you were feeling slightly more adventurous that day. Mini tree houses situated along the bridge that basically acted as checkpoints for when you’re crossing the bridge, these tree houses were definitely one of your top spots too.

But that day, you were more interested in the sand play area that’s adjacent to the playground. With just two swings in the middle of the sand pit, it was comparably less fun than playing on the slides or going on the tree houses. Though, the fourteen-piece sand castle building set that your mom had recently bought you for your fifth birthday definitely proved otherwise. 

For as long as you could remember, visiting the neighbourhood playground had become a weekly occurrence. In the time you spent there, you always had this tendency to notice the other kids who sat around playing in the sand pit. While they were using a variety of tools to build sandcastles of various sizes and shapes, you could only watch them with envious eyes from the tree house. Your parents have always been very generous with buying you toys, so you didn’t want to come off as a spoiled brat by asking for more. Instead, you tried to enjoy your time there with all that you had. Playing catch with the other children, having a competition on who could go down the slide the fastest. It was enough to make you content. 

Luckily for you, however, your mum seemed to have caught onto the fact that you too wanted to try building sandcastles, thus buying you one of those sandcastle building sets. You recall unwrapping the gift, screaming in excitement and thanking her profusely by enveloping her into a bear hug and giving her multiple cheek kisses. 

With the toys laid out in the sand, you decided to start slow. 

Steadying the blue bucket against the sand, you used the shovel and filled it up to the brim, smoothing out the top surface until you were satisfied with it. You carefully tipped the bucket over such that the sand wouldn’t fall out, and silently prayed for the best as you slowly removed the bucket. 

“Mummy, look!”

A proud smile on your face, you eagerly pointed to the sandcastle that you’d successfully built on your first try. Seated on the bench diagonally opposite from where you were, she praised you for doing a good job and gave you a thumbs up.

This went on for about the next half an hour or so, as you tried to build as many sandcastles as you could, experimenting with the different toys that you had, even going so far as to smooth out any crevices that you spotted with your bare hands, not caring that the sand particles would dirty them. It was a pity that there was no one else at the playground because it would have been more fun if you had a companion, but this would do for now.

Blowing out your cheeks once you’ve completed your little ‘art project,’ you looked at it with a triumphant smile. Albeit simple, it was pretty decent for a first timer. Although you wanted to keep going, it was admittedly tiring and required a lot of concentration on your part. As such, you decided to call it a day. Cautiously moving the toys away so that you would not accidentally topple the sandcastles over, you started to pack up your things so that your mum didn’t have to wait once she came back from the restroom.

Only, crackles of footsteps over the fallen leaves caused you to cease your packing. Not-so-subtly turning behind to look for the source of the sound, you scratched your head in confusion when there was no one in sight. You shrugged it off, thinking that you misheard it and that it was probably the sound of the bushes rustling since it did become more windy over time. Picking up the plastic shovel, it was the last of your things that you were going to keep before leaving the playground. But just as you were about to put it together with the rest of your stuff, you heard a sniffle. It was silent for a few seconds, and the sniffling continued again. And again. 

It sounded like… someone was crying?

With the plastic shovel still in your hand, you took one step back, then two, trying to get as close as you could without making any noise. You wanted to wait until your mum returned, but curiosity got the better of you. It seemed alright to assess the situation first, since you just wanted to check out what the noise was about. 

Frankly, you had no idea why you were being so secretive, but perhaps it was because you didn’t want to alarm whoever was there. If they were already crying, you shouldn’t startle them any further, right? At least, that’s what you thought. Upon closer inspection, you realised that they were hiding behind the bushes, and all you could see were their shoes. It was mostly white, the familiar black swoosh logo imprinted on it.

Walk away and pretend you didn’t hear any of this. That thought came straight to your mind when you started to remember the terrifying stories that your parents told you in order to warn you about stranger danger. Your mum would be here soon, so it would be a good time for you to escape too. Just go back to packing your things, and everything will be okay.

But… that would be cruel, a small voice in your head insisted. 

No matter how apprehensive you were about this entire situation, a part of you did not want to leave the person alone, whoever they may be. Because you knew that if you were in their position and someone was nearby, you would want them to help you too. 

So, with hushed steps, you moved even closer to the bush, instinctively stretching out your hand that carried the shovel. You know, just in case you needed to use it as a weapon if you were attacked. You also made sure to not stray too far away from the sand playing area so that when your mum came back to the bench, you would still be in her line of sight. Turning at the corner so that you could finally take a look at the person behind the crying (and bushes), you slowly raised your arm down such that it was now resting against your side, your gaze fixed on the culprit.

There was a crying boy in front of you.

He had a bowl haircut and was wearing a white crew neck short sleeve t-shirt. He also had really chubby cheeks that resembled peaches. Not that it mattered, but it was one of the few things that caught your attention when you first saw him. His eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, and he had yet to notice your presence yet, still huddled in the bushes. Every now and then, he’d wipe his tear-stained cheeks, but the tears just kept falling and falling like a waterfall. About half a head taller than you, he looked like one of those boys in your kindergarten, so you guessed that he was around your age too. 

Seeing as to how the crying boy was literally harmless, the paranoid feeling that you had from before dissipated completely. It was instead replaced by a sense of helplessness. You were usually a good problem solver, but you didn’t know what to do right now. Your parents often distracted you with a toy whenever you were crying, but what could you possibly offer to him when all you had was a silly plastic shovel that was dirtied with sand?

Still determined to make him feel better, you took a deep breath before walking up to the crying boy, two fingers timidly tapping on his shoulder. 

“I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” You quickly apologised with both hands raised up defensively when the boy jolted upright, now looking straight at you with frightened eyes. So much for not wanting to scare him… You were going to be upset at yourself if you made him cry even more. 

When he didn’t respond and instead backed away from you, a pang of hurt washed over you. You genuinely didn’t have any ill intentions and just wanted to help him, why couldn’t he see that? What’s more, it wasn’t like you could physically take him down with your comparatively petite size. The only good thing was that he finally stopped crying, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe he was embarrassed by it.

Before you could let any irrational thoughts of leaving him alone consume you, you dared to take another step closer to him, gently placing a palm on his shoulder as assurance that you were not going to hurt him. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” you asked.

His shoulders immediately relaxed, but still, no words left his mouth for a few seconds.

“My grandma brought me to feed pigeons,” he explained, and you nodded, prompting him to continue. “But I got scared because a group of them suddenly came up to me. I could only think about running away, so that’s what I did,” he said in between hiccups. 

“I heard grandma calling for me, but I just wanted to get away from the birds so I ran all the way here and now I can’t find her.” Tears welling up at the mention of his grandma, you patted his shoulder in an attempt to console him. It was only then that you noticed bits and pieces of uneaten bread in one of his clutched palms. You felt really bad and wanted him to be back with his grandma, safe and sound.

“What's your name?”

You didn’t mean to bombard him with more questions, but surely, you couldn’t refer to him as crying bread boy, especially not if you were going to help him find his grandma.

“Jaehyun,” he answered. 

“Jaehyun,” you repeated after him, liking how it was a nice name to call out. At that, Jaehyun asked for your name, also repeating it after you told him.

Looking out in the distance, it was fortunate that you saw your mum walking back from the restroom, about to reach the bench that she’d been sitting on this whole time. You quickly turned back to Jaehyun, a comforting smile etched on your lips. 

“My mummy is there,” you gestured at her before continuing, “she’s really nice and will get you home safely to grandma, okay?”

He was silent again, and you wondered if he was doubting you or your intentions. Removing your hand from his shoulder, you grabbed his free hand, intertwining his pinkie with yours, “I promise.”

Jaehyun smiled for the first time ever since you saw him that day, deep dimples forming. “Thank you,” he inched forward, bent down to your eye level, and blew at your temple. “You got sand there. It’s gone now,” he said. You were slightly caught off guard by the close distance, but nevertheless thanked him. 

The focus was to find Jaehyun's grandma, you reminded yourself. Without wasting any second, you interlocked the rest of his fingers together with yours, running towards your mum, who had a surprised look on her face. With pursed lips, she still kept a polite smile, gaze shifting from you to Jaehyun as she patiently waited for you to introduce him to her. 

Doing the honour of telling her what happened so Jaehyun didn’t have to repeat himself, it turns out that you were right about your mum knowing what to do.

She revealed that the Jeong family actually moved into the empty apartment opposite yours just last week, and she had already met them when Jaehyun and his mum came over to give rice cakes as part of tradition. Due to it being a brief interaction and Jaehyun hiding behind his mum the whole time, that could be why he didn’t recognise your mum at first glance. He was apparently shy when it came to meeting new people, though, you’d like to think that he just enjoyed hiding behind people and things for no reason.

After you’ve gathered all your things, the three of you walked back to your apartment together. Sandwiched in between you and your mum, Jaehyun was holding onto both of your hands. You did not know how he was feeling on the inside, but you could visibly tell that he’d already calmed down.

On the way home, you and Jaehyun ended up talking with each other, pretty much like how you would in kindergarten when getting to know more about a new friend. You learnt that he does not like bright colours and prefers sticking to monochrome colours, his birthday falls on Valentine’s day, and that he’s living here for five years because of his dad’s job. Oh, he enjoys playing basketball too. 

The walk to your apartment proved to be faster than expected as you and Jaehyun continued chatting until you reached. The two of you were in your own world, neither of you noticing your mum smiling at how well the both of you got along. It was as if you’ve known each other your entire lives.

His frightened eyes resurfaced while waiting at his front door, certain that he was going to be reprimanded big time for recklessly running away like that. To his surprise, however, the door opened to his mum and grandma standing side by side, the both of them letting out a huge sigh of relief the moment they saw him, not a tinge of anger in their voice or face. Running into their embrace, he apologised for making them worried and promised not to do it ever again. 

Other than the few sand particles that stained his once pristine white tee (the culprit shall not be named), they were glad that he made his way back home safely with you and your mum’s help.

Like yin and yang, black and white, Jaehyun and you were two-halves, who by the roundabout way of fate, found your way to each other, complementing and contradicting every bit of your souls in an imperfectly perfect manner that was like no other.

And the rest was history.

–

It was the final game of the season, and also the last day of the junior year. Despite winning all of the previous games by a large margin, Jaehyun didn’t want to get too complacent and take it easy just yet, since they were up against one of the stronger teams today. After all, it was the finals that determined if they would become champion, and if there’s one thing that he learnt growing up, it’s that he should either go big or go home. In other words, it’s either champion or nothing. 

Both teams have already arrived at the stadium, now wrapping up their warm-up exercises and ball handling drills as the spectators started to fill up the seats. Out of habit, Jaehyun looked to a particular area in the audience that’s near his team’s benches.

You’ve always been Jaehyun's biggest supporter, not just in basketball, but throughout his life, ever since that fateful meeting.

At age ten, his world almost came crashing down when he thought that he’d have to fly back to the other side of the world since his father’s contract had ended. He couldn’t imagine not having you by his side, and Jaehyun did not want to bid farewell to you, not at that time, not ever. But life had a funny way of working out, because you still ended up being his neighbour when he went back to Seoul, both of you promising that you wouldn’t leave each other’s side.

Because if it weren’t for you, he’s positive that he wouldn’t have made it this far either. 

Sad to say, his biggest supporter also happened to have a frequent problem of tardiness. Reaching on time already proved to be a challenge for you, so Jaehyun’s not sure why he expected you to be early for his game. Although you promised him yesterday that you'd come watch him play, he couldn’t help but sulk in disappointment when he did not see the one person that he’s waiting for. 

“Don’t worry Cap, she’ll be here soon. You know how it is.” Feeling a bump against his shoulders, Jaehyun looked away from the audience and came face to face with his teammate, who shot him a reassuring smile. 

Mark Lee, Vice-captain of the basketball team, and also Jaehyun's ride or die. Meeting through basketball, they’ve been playing alongside each other ever since high school days. Mark was the next person that Jaehyun could comfortably confide in after you, and the closest thing that their bond could be likened to was that of biological brothers. 

Save for the celebratory after parties, a few spontaneous outings, and the several common classes that they shared, the two did not typically hang out together on the regular outside of basketball. Even so, having been a part of each other’s lives for so many years, it was not surprising that there’s still a mutual sense of understanding between them. Like how some things don’t need to be said aloud, and you’ll still get it. That was the nature of their friendship. Brotherhood, if you will.

And so, it was only a matter of time before Mark eventually latched onto Jaehyun's undying crush on his long-time childhood best friend of seventeen years, you. The way Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled at the mention of your name in conversations, how his jaw clenched at the sight of his teammates getting too chummy with you for his liking whenever you popped by his training sessions; Jaehyun was obviously not an expert at concealing his feelings for you. And as far as Mark's concerned, these feelings were definitely not platonic. 

Jaehyun awkwardly cleared his throat at Mark's words, going over to his team’s benches as if he wasn’t just caught red-handed looking for you in a sea of people. Having a crush in itself was already embarrassing, but it’s worse when other people are aware of it. Even though Jaehyun trusted that Mark isn't the type of person to expose him, it didn’t help that you and Mark were also friends, because the Mark that he knew could not keep a secret to save his life. Case in point: Mark accidentally adding Jaehyun to a group chat with the subject name: Captain’s Birthday Surprise Party.

Perhaps the least of his concerns as of this moment, but someday if Jaehyun ever decided to make his feelings known, he wanted you to hear it directly from him. 

“Jae!” 

Jaehyun snapped back to reality when he heard a familiar voice, standing up from the benches to look back at that one spot in the audience. Unable to hide his smile, he waved at you, chuckling at the raised banner in your hands that read: MY CAPTAIN ♡ #23.

Wearing the number 23 jersey came with great expectations, and even though Jaehyun was no Michael Jordan, he’d proven himself to be worthy of owning it. Carrying the burden of being the star player and team captain was not easy, to say the least, but Jaehyun was grateful that he has the support of his teammates, and most importantly, you. 

There were days in which he got really stressed out because of practice, venting to you about how he needed to stop shooting air balls when it was only days away from the competition. Or when Yuta, his teammate, continuously used illegal contact in spite of his instructions. He could not be emotionally charged when dealing with his teammates, so you were the only person that he could go to. 

Unlike him, however, you weren’t familiar with basketball so your responses often came in the form of understanding nods, a listening ear, and becoming a shoulder for him to lean on. 

And even that was enough for Jaehyun.

“You can do it!” 

Jaehyun thinks back to the time that you tried to cheer him up with encouraging words. It was one of those days in which he ended practice with a heavy mind, and he could only let it all out while ranting to you. 

“You’re Jeong Jaehyun, there’s literally nothing you can’t do. Troy Bolton?” you scoffed. “I’ve only ever heard of Jaehyun Bolton!” Jaehyun bursted into laughter the moment he heard that, visibly entertained by how you could come up with something so absurd yet hilarious. But just like magic, Jaehyun also felt a heavy weight lift off his shoulders at your affirmation.

“You’ll do just fine, Captain.” You gave him a comforting pat once he calmed down from laughing, adopting a more serious tone to let him know that you weren’t kidding about him doing well.

Even if it was a spur-in-the-moment kind of thing, it somehow aged really well, for Jeong Jaehyun has never lost a single game in his life, and he didn’t plan on losing any game in the near future. 

–

It’s the fourth and final quarter of the game. To be precise, it was down to the last two minutes.

Jaehyun’s team was playing offence, and even though they were in the lead, the opposing team was very close to catching up to their score. These two minutes were extremely crucial.

Eyes trained on the ball, Jaehyun watched Jungwoo dribble it, getting as close as he could to the three-point line. Except, Jungwoo struggled to do so because he was surrounded by the opposing team, which practically made it impossible for him to inch any closer. 

Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

The referee blew the whistle, signalling for Jungwoo to hand the ball over to the opponent because he went past the five-second rule. 

Jungwoo wore a look of disappointment on his face, reluctantly passing the ball over. Jaehyun noticed this, and quickly jogged over to his teammate. “It’s okay,” he muttered, patting Jungwoo on the back. 

As the seconds went by, the opposing team passed the ball within their team, but never quite made it close to the scoring lines either, Yuta powerfully smacking the ball to block their advances. One of them continuously shouted at their teammate to shoot once there was an opportunity, but he didn't, and Jaehyun guessed it’s because it’s too far and risky a shot to take, especially with the clock ticking. 

Failing to make any further advances, they ended up losing their possession of the ball to Jaehyun's team. He signalled for Sungchan to take it, mentally formulating a strategy for him to get the ball over to their scoring zone smoothly. All of them exchanged glances with one another, collectively nodding after Jaehyun held up three fingers. 

After the whistle beeped, Sungchan wasted no time in passing the ball to Jungwoo before it could get intercepted. 

“Nice!” Jaehyun’s shout echoed, and he ran over to manoeuvre around the empty area just behind the three-point line of their scoring zone. 

They had sixty seconds left. 

Jungwoo was once again blocked, but unlike before, there was only one defender in front of him this time. Not expecting the ball to leave Sungchan’s hands so quickly, the other defenders were still running from the other side of the court, which gave him a bit of an advantage. 

“I'm free!” Mark called out, raising his hand to get Jungwoo’s attention. 

Jungwoo always played it safe, so he planned to dribble the ball to ensure that he could make a smooth pass to Mark. But dribbling the ball also made it easy for the defender to snatch the ball away, so he decided against it. 

Instead, he steadily raised the ball over his head as though he was about to do a shoulder pass to Mark, then waited for the defender to raise his arms knowing that he would try to smack it down. The second the defender’s hands were raised above his waist level, Jungwoo speedily brought the ball down, successfully bouncing the ball into Mark's hands.

Clearly outnumbered, the defender did not even try to stop Mark’s pass to Jaehyun. 

With the ball now in his possession, the entire stadium turned silent, suspense growing as all eyes fell on Jaehyun, waiting for him to take the shot. They’d already won the game, but it was still undeniably exhilarating to watch, considering that there were only eight seconds left until the game ended. Furthermore, it’s a three-pointer at stake here. 

It’s now or never. 

Jaehyun’s gaze was fixed on the hoop. Flashbacks of his air ball moments started playing in his mind, and he had to shake his head to physically clear out such thoughts. He exhaled deeply, the image of you with the banner that you probably stayed up to finish appearing instead, and he thought back to what you said to him before. No matter how ridiculous, he must admit that your words gave him a boost of confidence that faltered for a while when the opposing team kept scoring earlier. Positioning the ball over his head, he made a jump for it, effortlessly flicking the ball out of his palms… 

And he scores.

The crowd erupted in massive applause and loud cheers. Splashes of red, yellow, and white of the team’s flag colour decorated the entire stadium. Jaehyun’s teammates made a run for their captain, engulfing him in a group hug as they celebrated their victory. Before both teams returned to their benches, they lined up in a row for a handshake, mutters of good job and good game exchanged between players and coaches alike. 

As he did in every other game, Jaehyun returned to the benches and turned back to look at you. Even though most of the crowd already dispersed, you were still seated there, banner in hand. Pointing at it once again, you mouthed exactly what’s written on it, showing him a thumbs up. Grinning from ear to ear, he did not make any effort to hide his happiness.

Forget movies. If the multiverse was real, Jaehyun hoped there is a version where you become the Gabriella Montez to his Troy Bolton. 

–

Summer vacation rolled around soon enough, and before you knew it, you were sitting on the passenger seat of Jaehyun's car, buckling up your seatbelt while he started the engine.

You didn’t usually make any extravagant plans for summer vacation, but this year was slightly different in that both of your families decided to rent out a villa at Fluffel Heights. A three-hour drive away, it’s a small town located up north from your neighbourhood. It’s rare for everyone to be around, so this was the best time to spend the next three months together. 

You were supposed to set out at seven in the morning, but as always, you overslept again. Your parents left you a text saying they’d go over to check out the villa with Jaehyun's parents first, and that you and Jaehyun could come together later. Turns out, he also had difficulty getting out of bed because he was up all night gaming. By the time the both of you got ready, it was almost nearing noon.

“Wanna get Starbucks?” Jaehyun asked after keying in the address of the villa into his GPS. The shimmering heat of the sun tempted you to say yes, so the both of you stopped by to get drinks and snacks for the long ride. You decided to try an iced shaken tea with lemonade that’s new on the menu, while Jaehyun got his usual iced americano.

The first two hours went by quickly with you and Jaehyun screaming out the lyrics to your favourite songs at the top of your lungs. You rolled down the windows too, relishing in the pleasant feeling of the refreshing summer breeze brushing against your skin. 

Before the trip, Jaehyun came up with a brilliant idea of creating a shared road trip playlist together. Your music tastes were similar to each other, so it was easy to add songs that both of you would definitely enjoy. Titled I got my driver’s licence last week, the playlist ended up being five hours and seventeen minutes long, with almost a hundred songs in it. 

Every now and then, Jaehyun would glance over to you with a questioning look on his face whenever one of Taylor Swift’s songs came on. He was not an avid listener of her songs, but he might as well be, from all the times you recommended her songs to him. Your obsession wasn’t something new to him, but he didn’t realise how most of the songs that you added into the playlist were hers until now. 

“At this point, you should just play her entire discography,” he said, sighing. It was only five seconds into the song, but he was already able to recognise it because of how often you listened to it.

“But it's cruel summer!” you retorted back, feeding him a biscuit since his hands were on the steering wheel. “The title has the word ‘summer’ in it, so I had to add it in.” Jaehyun chuckled at your reasoning, but eventually gave in and sang along with you too. How could he not? He practically has the lyrics memorised all because of you.

The singing continued for the rest of the drive, but it wasn’t long before you got tired, simply sitting in your seat and bopping your head to the songs. Jaehyun also quietened down, eyes focused on the road since he’s taking an entirely new route that’s foreign to him. The songs were not as upbeat as before, and you found yourself dozing off every few minutes, the air conditioning making you even sleepier. Eyes shut, Jaehyun’s voice was the last thing that you heard before you completely drifted off to sleep, but you didn’t catch what he said to you. 

–

“… Mum said there’s a bowling alley at the country club. Let’s go there tonight?” 

Jaehyun’s eyes were still focused on the road, patiently waiting for your response. However, there was nothing except music playing from his speakers, making him tilt his head quizzically. Were you even listening to him?

Jaehyun briefly turned to your direction, and he felt a smile creeping up on his face once he saw you. Phone clutched in your hand, you’d fallen asleep, head dangerously close to hitting against his car window. He’d always known that you would end up falling asleep if you had to travel for more than two hours, but he still found it amusing whenever he caught you doing that.

Shifting his attention back to the road, he continued driving until he exited the expressway, finding a suitable spot for him to stop the car by the side of the road. He reached over to the backseat to get his pillow, carefully positioning it between your head and the window so as to not wake you from your slumber. He also took the spare hoodie that he left in his car to cover over your body as a makeshift blanket. 

Before leaning back into his seat, Jaehyun took in the sight of your sleeping figure for another time, and it took everything in him to not press a kiss against your cheek. 

These days, he’s finding it increasingly difficult to be around you, for the sole reason that your presence made it feel as though his heart was going to burst out of his chest. As much as he likes you, he didn’t know how much longer he could hide his feelings. He’s been doing well all these years, so why now? 

Perhaps it’s because the topic of relationships has started to come up more in your recent conversations with him. Expressing your concern about not being able to find the one, you told him that maybe you should be more serious about your love life and actually put yourself out on the market. He laughed it off and told you that it wasn’t something that you had to worry about, but deep down, it awakened the unmistakable feelings of panic and jealousy in him. That someday, you’ll be with someone who’s not him. 

Jaehyun doesn’t know what he’ll do when that happens. 

It was ironic, really. 

A part of him wanted to muster up the courage to shoot his shot. It’s risky, but even if he missed, at least he tried and wouldn’t be left with any regret. At the same time, however, the thought of potentially destroying your friendship outweighed everything else, and it would be selfish of him to prioritise his feelings over what the both of you have built together over the years. 

“Yuno,” you called out, breaking Jaehyun out of his thoughts. 

He looked at you, surprised, since you didn’t usually call him that. In fact, you’re the only person who ever calls him that. He leaned in closer to hear you properly, but he’s unable to make out your incoherent mumbles. He sighed, not knowing what to do with you, or more specifically, his feelings for you. But before he could let his thoughts of you consume him again, he started the engine and continued the drive to the villa. Because if there’s one thing that Jaehyun’s good at, it’s pretending.

Jaehyun pretends to be unaffected each time you have a new eye candy in school, when on the inside, he secretly hoped that it won’t progress to anything beyond that. He pretends that you’re not the reason for his past breakups because he always saw glimpses of you in every single one of his dating partners. But most of all, he pretends that he cares and looks out for you in the name of being your best friend, when in reality, it is the only way he can be affectionate with you like lovers do.

Jaehyun guessed the bowling alley could wait. After all, he has the entire summer with you.

–

Summer isn’t summer if you didn’t visit the beach, so that’s where you and Jaehyun went today. Except, it was apparent that the two of you had very different ideas about what to do at the beach.

“You’re not seriously reading a book at the beach.” Jaehyun stared at you with judgmental eyes.

You glanced up at Jaehyun, ignoring how he looked almost offended before flipping over to the next page. “I’m on the last chapter.” 

Jaehyun took the empty spot next to you under the shade, attempting to snatch the book out of your hands, but to no avail as you turned your body away from him. “Stop it. We can do whatever you want later, let me finish this first.” 

“We don’t have all day,” he grumbled. 

In spite of his complaints, Jaehyun obediently sat there while he waited for you to finish the novel. Soon he got bored and started to pick out the seashells that were scattered across the sand, gathering them in the palm of his hand. Since he didn’t move beyond the shade, you tried your best to not get distracted by his movements, until he moved back to his original spot, calling for your attention to show you the seashells that he’d collected.

“This one’s pretty,” you pointed at one of the seashells that took on the shape of a traditional hand fan.  

“Right?” Jaehyun took the seashell that you picked out, leaning in closer to you. 

You backed away instinctively. “What are you doing?”

He wordlessly raised the seashell, holding it up to your ear. “Just listen.”

You could hear the afternoon waves crawling gently to the shore, the metramonic lulling making you feel like you were sitting by the water there and then, even though you were relatively far away from the edge of the water. Eyes widened, you looked over at Jaehyun in fascination, amazed by how such a phenomenon was possible. 

“I know,” he said, as though he could read your mind. 

After what felt like hours to Jaehyun, you were finally done with your book. He didn’t want to waste any more time and practically dragged you along with him. 

The both of you tried standup paddleboarding for a few hours, but it always ended with Jaehyun laughing at you whenever you lost your balance. Too bad for you, your best friend was a natural at sports, so you couldn’t poke fun at him the same way he did to you, and the best you could do was shoot daggers at him. 

You thought that the both of you would return to the villa after that as you and Jaehyun took a slow stroll along the beach, leaving your footprints along the trail. That is, until Jaehyun suddenly carried you up in one swift movement when you weren’t paying attention to him, and the next thing you knew, you were in the water. 

“Jeong Yuno!”

You shouted at him once you got up from the water surface, raking your fingers through your hair to get it out of your face. 

Jaehyun stuck his tongue out. “Come and get me if you can!”

“Oh, I will.” You took large strides towards the shore, determined to drag Jaehyun into the water too. He wasn’t really making a run for it, and that spurred you on to go faster, making it far enough to be just an arm’s length away from him.

Before you could reach out to grab him, however, your foot came into contact with something sharp and hard, causing you to let out a loud shriek. You didn’t know what you stepped on, but it was so painful that you could feel your legs giving up on you. Closing your eyes as though it would cushion the impact of the fall, you were surprised to feel an arm wrapped around your waist instead. You slowly opened your eyes, only to come face to face with Jaehyun. Eyebrows drawn together, his concerned eyes glazed over yours to check if you were okay.

“Be careful, will you?” Jaehyun murmured. “You’re always making me worried for no reason.” You swallowed hard, trying your hardest to feign ignorance at how his body was pressing against yours, so close that even the thin piece of cloth separating your bodies didn’t stop you from being able to feel the outline of his well-defined abs.

You looked away from him for a moment to recollect yourself, and that seemed to make Jaehyun think that you got hurt somewhere else. Letting go of your waist, Jaehyun bent down in an attempt to check on your supposedly injured foot. A mistake on his part, it seemed, Jaehyun was caught off guard and hastily pushed into the water seconds later.

You smiled in victory, bursting into fits of laughter once you saw Jaehyun’s priceless face. “Gotcha!”

–

In retrospect, maybe Jaehyun should have insisted on going to the bowling alley with you the first night you two reached the villa.

Six weeks into summer vacation, his extended family were invited over for an impromptu poolside party since they happened to be around the area. They were too tired to drive back by the time the party ended, so they crashed in the villa for the night. But one night turned into two, and they eventually decided to spend the entire summer here too.

And the thought of it was enough to make him clench his fist in anger.

It’s not that he hated them. Their families were pretty close, so this arrangement was not something out of the blue. But with them around, Jaehyun could hardly spend a moment with you in peace. Not just that, there’s been days in which Jaehyun woke up to texts of you cancelling plans, and he didn’t even know where you wandered off to.

It’s true that you and Jaehyun had the opportunity to explore different places of interest around the town. From paddleboarding at the beach to renting bicycles at the park, he has had his fair share of quality time with you to try out new activities you haven’t done together before. Minus the bowling alley, of course, because it somehow slipped Jaehyun's mind.

Still, no amount of time spent with you would ever be enough for him.

Ever since his extended family joined, you’ve been around his cousin a lot more than he’d liked. To make things worse, his cousin did not have a very good concept of personal space either. Catching his incessant touches on your arm or shoulder, Jaehyun was unable to suppress the green-eyed monster in him.

Johnny Suh was a little bit of a handful. 

Notorious for his reputation as a player who changes his significant other every two weeks, you’re someone that Jaehyun would never let him get close to, even if Johnny was the last person left on earth. If he had to be honest, he wasn’t even sure if those people were even significant enough to be called his significant other, but that’s beside the point. The point was that his efforts were proven to be futile, especially from the way that you didn’t mind how Johnny has his arm around your shoulder, giggling at the sweet nothings that he whispered in your ear.

Jaehyun wasn’t used to any of this. He recalls a conversation he had with you in the kitchen where he tried warning you about Johnny, but it was apparent that his words fell on deaf ears. 

“He’s just being friendly,” you said, and Jaehyun had to physically hold himself back from letting out another sigh. 

For the lack of a better word, he thought that you were being really stupid. You might not have had much experience in the dating scene, but surely, you’ve spotted Johnny flirting with random strangers at the country club before. Even if you didn’t personally witness it with your eyes, you must have at least heard him flirting with people over the phone. That should’ve been sufficient for you to see that Johnny wasn’t serious about you.

“He's my cousin, I'm sure I know him better than you do,” Jaehyun retaliated. Why were you being so stubborn? It was not like you at all.

“Okay and?”

You kept your phone in your pocket and looked up at him, rolling your eyes. “Do you want an award for that? Why must you consistently prove that you’re better than me?”

Jaehyun scoffed, unable to believe the words coming out of your mouth. Turning off the tap, the kitchen was filled with the clanging sound of Jaehyun angrily placing the washed plates and mugs back into the dish holder. “Is that what you really think of me? A competitive asshole? After all these years we’ve spent together, that’s all you have to say about me?”

You fell silent. Regret instantly showed in your eyes, and even Jaehyun knew that you only said it in the heat of the moment, but it was still hurtful. He hated this. It was inevitable for arguments to arise in friendships, but lately, that was all the both of you did. Argue. And it was always over Johnny. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jaehyun spoke again, back leaning against the kitchen counter as he turned to face you.

“I wouldn’t be saying all of this if I didn't care about you.” His tone was much gentler than before, because honestly, he didn’t have it in him to stay mad at you too. “I’m just looking out for you, as a friend.”

A friend, he said.

“Then as my friend, can’t you be happy for me?” Jaehyun felt the touch of your hand over his, your gazes locked. “You know better than anyone how much this means to me, so can’t you let me have it?”

He can’t. 

More than anyone, Jaehyun wished for your happiness. But he also wished that you could see where he’s coming from. It goes without saying that he’ll be happy for you if you found someone, but Johnny is really not who you think he is, and definitely not the one for you.

Jaehyun pulled his hand away, causing you to take a step back at how cold he was acting. It was evident that he’d given up and didn’t want to continue the conversation. Because to him, there was no point in talking if you were not going to listen to him. Body turned towards the door, he slowly made his way out of the kitchen.

“Jae, about earlier, I–”

“Save it.” His footsteps came to a halt, but Jaehyun did not even bother turning back to spare you a single glance. It was awful that he cut you off, but it couldn’t possibly compare to what he said next, the words cutting right through your heart.

“Just don’t come crying to me later on.” 

Looking back, Jaehyun wished he could turn back time because he’s sorry for being so harsh towards you, for unintentionally starting a cold war. Other than greeting each other when your parents were around, it really killed him that you barely spoke to him. 

It killed him even more right now to see you by Johnny's side, affectionately leaning into his touch. And because ignorance is bliss, Jaehyun averted his eyes right before you pressed your lips against Johnny’s, hiding behind a corner where he faded away with the rest of the world that no longer seemed to have you in it.

–  

In the course of your friendship, Jaehyun was always the first to reach out to you, attempting to patch things up whenever the two of you fought, taking the blame even if it wasn’t entirely his fault. And while you acknowledge how unfair it is to him, you could never find the right words to say to him, and by the time you figure it out, he’d have beaten you to it. Of course, you would admit that you were also in the wrong, but it still feels bad that he’s constantly the one giving in to you.

This time, however, you were convinced that he did not want anything to do with you anymore. 

It’s been almost two weeks since the two of you argued, but Jaehyun has yet to approach you. Considering how your previous fights never lasted for more than a week, you wondered if the friendship could still be salvaged. 

In an attempt to clear your mind, you decided to go out to get some fresh air. So here you were, sitting on a swing in the park. And even though it’s not the same, it reminded you of the neighbourhood playground that you and Jaehyun always went to when you were much younger. Gone were the carefree times where the only thing the both of you worried about was how you were going to talk the adults into letting you play a little longer before going home. 

You think you miss Jaehyun a little more than you usually do today.

Maybe it’s a sign for you to reach out and apologise first. It’s just two simple words, and Jaehyun has said it to you so many times before, so there’s no reason that you couldn’t do it. But admitting to your wrongs is always a difficult thing to do, even if it’s your best friend that you’re being honest and vulnerable with. Or rather, because he’s your best friend, all the more it makes it harder for you to swallow your pride, because he was right about Johnny after all. 

True to Jaehyun’s words, you were nothing more than a side piece to Johnny. Coming and leaving as he pleased, your iMessage conversation with Johnny was increasingly filled with blue speech bubbles only. Even if he did text back, his responses were often one-word replies or things that were difficult to reply to, as if his intention was to end the conversation there and then.

It was not a nice feeling at all. 

Although things between the both of you have ended, thoughts about Johnny didn’t fail to make you tear up.

You hated how desperate you were during that time, shredding every piece of dignity you had in you to hold onto Johnny in hopes that he would do the same too. Spending most of his time on his phone instead of sparing you his attention, cutting short your hangouts, openly flirting with other girls in your presence; you still decided to put your trust in Johnny and ignored all these signs that blatantly presented themselves to you. 

Why? Because he was the first ever person that made you feel like you’d be able to experience the love that you always dreamed about. It would be too far a reach to say that he was your first love, but he was undoubtedly the first person to ever make you have feelings you didn’t know you had, both good and bad. The last straw was him accidentally calling you by another name, and you weren’t sure how you were supposed to end something that never really started, but you did by deleting every trace of Johnny in your phone. And eventually, your life. It was a difficult step, but one you had to take.

Never mind that your first experience with the closest resemblance to love was agonising, you were also on the brink of losing your best friend that you’ve practically known your entire life. You went from seeing him every day to almost forgetting how his voice sounded, as though a part of your soul had been taken away from you. You don’t know why you quarrelled with Jaehyun. It was not worth it though, that much you’d know.  

Gaze fixated on a little girl and boy playing on the see-saw, the feelings of despair grew stronger, and the sight of them made your heart clench. It’s not fair, the way everything reminded you of him. You tried to push the thoughts of him to the back of your mind to convince yourself that you didn’t care about him, but the tear that escaped your eye betrayed you.

If only you had listened to him then.

–

“I’ll be at the balcony. Call me if you need anything!”

Your dad hummed in response, momentarily looking up at you walking up the stairs before returning his attention to the barbeque pit, entirely focused on grilling the meat.

Summer was about to come to an end, and so was your stay at the villa. By the courtesy of Jaehyun’s and your parents who thought that it’ll be a good way to end the vacation with a barbeque party, they’ve been planning it together over the past few weeks. As opposed to you and Jaehyun who were still not on talking terms, it’s unfortunate that you didn’t manage to find an opportunity to properly apologise to Jaehyun. He was avoiding you, it seemed, from the way he’d devour his meal within minutes and return to his room, door shut and locked. There was never a chance for you to approach him, and soon you gave up even trying knowing that it would be a waste of your time. You didn’t want to ruin the party tonight knowing how much planning went into it, so you tried not to think too much about Jaehyun too.

The balcony had a splendid view that oversaw the small town; it was especially pretty when the sun set and rose. You’d accidentally discovered it a few days ago when a bird flew to the balcony railing, its loud chirps waking you up from your sleep. Groggily getting up to chase the bird away, you noticed how the morning sun was situated perfectly on the horizon. Its bright orange hue unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, the small town came to life during those few blissful minutes. 

Not wanting to miss the last sunset before you left the villa, you made sure to check the sunset time and even set an alarm for it. Today, the cloud cover was more extensive, which provided a beautiful contrast to the pinkish hues that splattered across the sky. As you took in the scenic landscape in front of you, you were in awe of how fast the colours changed even if you looked away only for a few minutes, very much like how fast the entire summer went by. 

“Mind if I join?”

Your solitude gets interrupted by a voice, and you almost jumped because of the sudden intrusion. But the moment it hit you, whose voice it was, it was your heart that really almost jumped. 

“Sure.” You pondered if you should turn behind. You don’t know how you’d react, seeing him again after such a long time, even though you’ve been meaning to see him because you only caught him whenever he passed by the hallway over the past few days. Not to mention, these rare sightings were extremely short-lived too. His voice alone was enough to make you break. Jaehyun eventually put an end to your dilemma by standing next to you, his arms crossed, elbows resting against the railing.

You felt like exploding.

You sneaked a peek at Jaehyun through your peripheral vision. He was wearing a plain black tee, which was basically what he wore every other day, and somehow you find yourself missing the sight of him appearing in the same few clothes that he owned. A small smile was playing on his lips as he looked over the horizon, and you thought about how if it wasn’t for the ongoing cold war between the both of you, this would have been an adorable moment that you shared together – watching the sunset. 

“It's so beautiful,” Jaehyun mused, and only when he spoke did you catch a whiff of alcohol on his breath.

“Have you been drinking?”

Voice laced with concern, you turned to him fully this time, getting a clearer view of his face. While his cheeks were not tinted red, his droopy eyes definitely gave it away. You didn’t even have to hear his reply to know the answer to your question. 

A lazy smile formed on his face, dimples peeking out. “Just a few glasses,” he said, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. It almost took you back to the day at the beach.

Jaehyun rested his chin on your shoulder, caging your small frame in his arms. You were taken aback by the sudden physical intimacy, considering how he’d not looked you in the eye for more than five seconds since the argument broke out. You’re not sure if it’s because of the close proximity or because he’d been drinking, but it was tremendously warm, and you could feel your body heating up too. It was warm in a good way, however, and because you couldn’t deny that you missed your best friend dearly, you returned the hug too. 

Jaehyun called your name, pulling away from the hug first. Staring deeply like this into his honey brown eyes is akin to the feeling of putting on your favourite cardigan, and it makes you realise just how much you missed him, his hugs, and everything else about him. 

“I missed you,” Jaehyun mumbled, his voice low. And if it weren’t for the fact that his face was just inches away from yours, you would’ve missed what he said. What struck you more was how he verbalised exactly what you were thinking of at that moment, even more so knowing that it wasn’t typical of Jaehyun to say such things.

You leaned back slightly, slowly letting go of him. “You’re drunk, Jaehyun.”

“So I can’t miss you when I’m drunk?” he challenged, pulling you even closer to him. His gaze on you didn’t falter, and the intensity of it made you want to scream; he has never looked at you like that before.

“No,” you muttered, “but you don’t usually act like that.”

“What if I want to?”

He was genuinely making you puzzled. “Huh?”

“What if I want to be this close to you all the time?” 

You let out a harsh breath at his words, trying to break free of his hold. “Let’s talk when you’re sober.”

A mirthless laugh escaped Jaehyun’s lips, your response making him look away for a moment before turning back to you. “I have a high tolerance. You know I never get drunk.” 

His hands were no longer around your waist, and you wondered if something happened for him to behave this way. You didn’t even understand the hidden layers of meaning behind his words, but it wasn’t something you wanted to think about when the both of you have yet to resolve your previous argument. If anything, he was confusing you even more with his words and actions.

“We should talk about this another time,” you insisted.

“No,” Jaehyun protested, bringing a hand up to tuck away stray pieces of hair behind your ear. You felt small under his gaze, shy because of his affectionate gestures. At a loss of words, it was difficult for you to predict where this was heading, but you prayed that it wouldn’t end up in another argument. A brief silence took over as neither of you said anything, until you noticed his eyes trailing down to your lips. 

“I want to kiss you so bad.”

“Jaehyun,” you gasped in shock. You put your hand on his chest to push him away, withdrawing it as soon as there was a considerable amount of space between you two.

“Don’t say such things when you’re not in the right state of mind.” Even though those words were meant for Jaehyun, it felt as though you were trying to convince yourself instead. That your best friend definitely didn’t see you in that way, and that it was just the alcohol talking. Yet, as you watched how the smile on his face fell when you pushed him away, it was getting harder to convince yourself otherwise.

“But I do,” he said, eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort before carefully taking a step closer to bring you into a hug again, your forehead resting against his chest. “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But I really want to kiss you. On the lips.” 

You immediately shook your head. “We can’t.”

“Why? Is it because of Johnny?” Jaehyun questioned, the pain in his voice went unhidden. 

“I’ve ended things with Johnny,” you clarified quickly, and for some reason it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, admitting that to Jaehyun. 

“Then why can’t we kiss?”

You blew out your cheeks, dumbfounded at how he was asking the obvious. “Because best friends are not supposed to kiss each other.” 

“You’re not just a best friend to me,” he stated. 

“Jaehyun, don’t do this.” You huffed, frustratedly cutting in before he could continue as you did not anticipate his confession. 

But he’d only moved his hand up, holding you in place through the form of gentle pats on your head, like he was silently telling you to listen to what he had to say. Knowing that this was going to come up again even if you avoided it now, you decided to give in, leaning into his warmth. Once he felt you relax, Jaehyun drew in a long breath before speaking again. 

“I like you so much,” Jaehyun started, the sense of resignation embedded within his confession so apparent that it made you curious just how long he’d been bottling this up for. “I really like you so much, I think it might even be love.” He repeated, as though you didn’t hear him right the first time. And if his words made your heart flutter, you pretended that it didn’t, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to feel how fast your heart was racing.

“But I knew it was wrong to have romantic feelings for my best friend. I wasn’t going to jeopardise our friendship, so I did everything I could to get rid of them. Told myself it was just a phase, and even started dating around,” Jaehyun continued. 

“It didn’t work, obviously,” he chuckled bitterly. “I ended up liking you more and more every day, I thought I was going crazy. For a while, it was easy for me to just ignore my feelings,” he hesitated for a moment before resuming.

“Until Johnny came into the picture.” 

You were steeped in guilt, grateful that your face was buried in Jaehyun’s chest. 

“I hated that you dropped me to be with him. Fuck, it hurt me so much to see the two of you doing things I’ve always longed to do with you. It’s true that he’s a player but all I wanted was to be selfish and keep you for myself. I felt stupid and sorry for not being to able to stop you from getting hurt, because that’s not how you’d protect someone you like.” 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault for not listening,” you murmured. While you didn’t want to ruin the moment, you thought it was important to let Jaehyun know that getting involved with Johnny was solely your decision, and that it wasn’t something he could take the blame for even if he wanted to. It was also part of what you’ve been wanting to tell him in the few times that you attempted to approach him. 

Jaehyun tenderly threaded his hand through your hair upon hearing your apology, but neither accepted nor rejected it. “I know it’s unfair of me to suddenly dump all of this on you, but I can’t hold it in anymore. You don’t have to do anything about it, I just wanted to let you know that…” He huffed, “I really, really, really, like you a lot… Buttercup.” 

Buttercup. 

Hearing that nickname aroused unexplainable feelings within you, partly because Jaehyun didn’t call you that often. It was an inside joke that started in middle school, when you told him that Buttercup was your favourite Powerpuff Girl character because you found her really cool. Mischievous since young, Jaehyun responded by saying that it was really fitting because the two of you shared the same grouchy face, especially on early mornings when you had to wake up for school. He never stopped teasing you since then and would call you that whenever an opportunity arises. 

This time, however, there was a hint of adoration behind the nickname that was definitely far from concealed. And you don’t think you want Jaehyun to stop calling you that. 

You felt Jaehyun press a soft kiss to the crown of your head, rendering you speechless because it made you forget what you wanted to say to him. It was too late, by the time you fully processed what had happened, for Jaehyun had already walked away, leaving you alone on the balcony just as you were waiting for the sunset earlier.

Only, the sun had already gone down. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to bask in the lovely afterglow that painted the sky when all you could focus on was the darkness surrounding it. 

It was indeed a cruel summer. 

– 

“Dude, so you just walked away after pouring your heart out to her? And the kiss. Dude, I really thought you would’ve gone for her lips!” 

Jaehyun almost spat out his food at Mark’s exclamation, not expecting the younger boy to raise his voice. Jaehyun’s eyes rapidly scanned the cafeteria to see if anyone heard him, and was relieved to see that they were busily engaged with their conversations to catch what Mark said. 

“Not loud enough, Mark. You should just announce it through the PA system and make sure even people in the Design School can hear you,” Jaehyun scowled at Mark, causing him to quickly apologise with a sheepish smile. 

The Design School was located on the other end of the campus from where they were, so Jaehyun probably wouldn’t have the cheek to turn up for classes if they could actually hear him. Though, Mark technically couldn’t be blamed for being so excited, since it’s not every day that he got an update on his close friend’s love life. He’d been invested in this for years. 

“But to answer your question, yeah. I’ve been avoiding her because I don’t know what else I should do,” Jaehyun said, mindlessly using his fork to play with his food instead of putting it into his mouth. He didn’t have much of an appetite. He didn’t even feel like he deserved to eat after what he pulled. Still, he had to get something into his system, because if not, there was no way he would survive afternoon practice later.

“Oh man,” Mark said, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. “She probably feels like shit though,” he added, his eyes widening immediately after realising the implication of his words. 

“Not saying you don’t feel like shit too, but you know, like, getting ignored after all that. I’d be bat shit confused,” he attempted to clear up. 

It’s occasionally difficult to comprehend Mark’s words because he speaks in the same way that he thinks, as though he’s still trying to piece his thoughts together, but Jaehyun knew what he was trying to get at. Mark did have a point, however. A point that, as Mark put it, made Jaehyun feel like shit. He knew better than anyone that it was wrong of him to leave you hanging without an explanation of any sort. 

“So you think I should approach her first?” 

Mark shook his head. “It’s not up to me to tell you what to do,” he replied, scraping up the remaining few bits of his food before taking a spoonful of it. “Just think that at the end of the day, you should follow your heart. Put aside the whole friends since childhood thing. There’s no way things would go back to how they were anyway.”

If you told Jaehyun five years ago that he’d be receiving advice on his love life from Mark, he’d probably laugh at you until he had tears in his eyes. Mark wasn’t a bad adviser, per se, and he could trust Mark to be a hundred percent honest with him. Jaehyun simply found the entire situation laughable, how it’d all come down to this. 

Following his heart… Jaehyun couldn’t do that easily, especially not when it’s something that he’d been trying to hold himself back from doing all these years. He always had to think logically and thoroughly consider what would happen to your friendship if he decided to act upon his feelings – and all the possible outcomes that came up in his head often didn’t end well. Following his heart? It was much easier to follow his head. It was already unsettling enough that he was so open and vulnerable with you about his feelings given that he rarely showed that side of himself to you, or anyone else for that matter. Coupled with that, is the difficulty of casually slotting himself back into your life to talk about what had happened; it’s not as if he was going to ask you about the weather. Decisions, decisions… Jaehyun was both curious and afraid to know how this would play out. 

“Alright man, I gotta go for my next class.” Mark pulled out his chair, the sound of metal creaking against the cafeteria floor. “It was nice catching up. I’ll update you on how she’s doing so don’t worry too much, okay? See you at practice later.” There was a nice ring of assurance to Mark’s voice, and it made Jaehyun grateful that you and Mark shared the same classes so he could still look out for you through him.

“Thanks bro,” Jaehyun said with a sincere smile on his face. Even though he still didn’t know what he was going to do, at least there is now a glimmer of hope that lies still in his heart.

–

If there was one word that you could use to describe how you were feeling, it would be sorrow. Several days have passed since that night but you’ve yet to hear from Jaehyun. Initially, you were worried about him and thought that he needed some time and space alone. So you gave that to him. After all, it probably took him a lot of courage to say those words to you. 

But one day turned into two, and soon, it became a week. You began to doubt Jaehyun’s feelings for you and wondered if he meant what he said, or if it was just the alcohol talking. Surely, this was no way to treat someone you claimed to like.

Truthfully, it’s been quite some time since you came to know about Jaehyun’s feelings for you. Or rather, had an inkling that he didn’t just view you platonically. You just chose to ignore it. For several reasons, but mostly the fact that your seventeen-year-long friendship was on the line.

In recent years, you started to notice the way that Jaehyun would pay special attention to you. There was nothing inherently wrong with that, since it’s normal for friends to look out for each other. But the foreign twinkle in his eye that started to show up when he listened to you talk about your day or complain about completing your assignments; it was difficult to brush it off as a friendly gesture when you were so used to him spacing out five minutes into your past conversations. 

Jaehyun also seemed to have taken a mental note of how forgetful you could be. More often than not, you’d forget to bring a hair tie out with you because you were always rushing out of the house. But at some point in time, together with his silver bracelet that he usually wore, Jaehyun would also have a black hair tie wrapped around his wrist. When he notices how your hair almost got into your food, he’d put down his utensils, chiding you as if you were a child while he tied your hair up into a simple ponytail.

And how could you possibly forget the time that he pulled an all-nighter to help you study for an exam? 

Jaehyun’s major was anything but closely related to yours, yet he took the time to familiarise himself with the important terms that you needed to know for the exam. Making flashcards so that it’ll be easier for you to remember those terms, Jaehyun even went as far as to record and send you audio notes explaining the concepts that your professor highlighted in your notes, which saved you so much revision time. All of this, simply because you made a comment in passing about how on top of that exam, you had so many other deadlines to meet in the same week, and he’d dropped everything to help you as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate. He didn’t even ask for anything in return except for you to have a meal with him after the exam because he knew that you didn’t get to eat any proper food since submission week began.

It was certain that Jaehyun’s special treatment towards you made your heart do leaps and bounds, but you were in denial and didn’t want to believe that you saw your best friend in a different light. It was only when he confessed to you that you felt relieved. For all the times you thought you were committing a crime by overthinking every single interaction you had with him, even down to a simple text message from Jaehyun asking, “Did you sleep well? :)”

Perhaps a mistake on your part, but your friends were also Jaehyun’s friends. There were other people that you knew outside of that particular social circle, but they were people that you’d group as acquaintances, nothing more than polite greetings exchanged before and after lectures. It didn’t even matter that the both of you were neighbours because he wasn’t even around much. You didn’t dare to go knocking on his door in fear that he’ll just throw you another excuse to avoid you. 

Several nights, your hand hovered over Jaehyun’s contact in your phone. Typing, backspacing, typing, backspacing; these unsent messages ended up residing in your notes application for no one but yourself to read. Time spent away from Jaehyun was painful. Painful because it was only prolonging. 

Even walking home felt miserable because Jaehyun would usually be by your side, but only the music that played through your earbuds accompanied you.

This street was filled with memories that the both of you have made together over the years, and it was so painful thinking about how they turned into nothing once love came into play. It didn’t even take longer than a day for you to feel the full force of his absence in your life.

You hope you’ll never lose Jaehyun.  

–

“Hey ____, is my shoebag at the café?”

You got up from your chair, walking over to the other side of the table where Mark was seated previously. “Yup,” you said, pulling out his chair to find his black shoebag lying on it. “I didn’t even notice you left it here until you called.”

“Dang it. Could you bring it over for me? I wore slides today and there’s no way in hell I’m training in that. Coach would bench me.”

A particular someone filled your thoughts at once, and you turned quiet, almost forgetting that Mark was still on the line until you heard his voice again. “Jaehyun won’t be there if that’s what you’re worried about. He has an interview today.”

And that’s how you found yourself standing outside the indoor basketball court with Mark’s shoebag in hand. 

After the whole ordeal, Mark was the only person in Jaehyun’s social circle that really talked to you. Mainly because the both of you still had classes together, but you genuinely felt lucky that you still had company. If not, school would be so much harder to get through. 

Most of your conversations tended to gravitate toward school and assignments. Though, that didn’t stop Mark from dropping updates on how Jaehyun’s doing even if you never brought him up a single time. He was respectful about it, however, careful not to overstep. He also didn’t ask or say anything that would make you uncomfortable. And for that, you thought that the least you could do for Mark was to pass him his shoebag so that he wouldn’t get into trouble.

Your palm turned sweaty as it hovered over the doorknob, and it didn’t help that you could hear a bunch of rowdy voices from outside. Although Mark already assured you that Jaehyun wouldn’t be coming, the anxious feeling still didn’t go away. What if his teammates gave you shit for what happened? Or what if they ended up humiliating you? 

No. Jaehyun isn’t the type of person to talk bad about you behind your back. Besides, you’ve seen a few of his teammates around campus and they would still smile and wave at you. It was all in your head. Taking a deep breath, you opened the doorknob, resonating a click sound that echoed throughout the indoor court. 

“____!” within seconds, someone had already come running up to you, his arm thrown over your shoulder. 

“Hi Jungwoo!” 

“Have you been busy with school? We don’t see you around anymore,” Jungwoo pointed out, pouting. His child-like expression brought a smile to your face. Jungwoo was like a loveable little brother to you, always sharing his snacks with you whenever you stayed behind to wait for Jaehyun. 

Even though you felt apologetic on the inside, you still found yourself coming up with a lie so as to not make things awkward. “Sorry. It’s always hard adjusting back to the new semester, you know?” 

“Well, drop by when you’re free! I miss you. We all do.” Jungwoo said, and it wasn't long before the rest of the team flocked over to the benches where the both of you were standing. 

“You owe me one.” Throwing the shoebag over to Mark, it was fortunate that his fast reflexes prevented him from having a broken nose. He thanked you quickly before changing into his shoes. 

“I need to go to the washroom. I’ll leave my stuff here first.” You announced to no one in particular, hiding them behind Mark’s things on the benches. 

Despite being a regular visitor to their practices, their coach was admittedly not fond of you having you over because their break times always went beyond the designated duration, which ate into their practice time. The boys would always crowd around you and chat for a long time, forgetting what they were really there for. And since he had yet to arrive, you figured that it would be better to disguise your things as Mark’s first, lest the coach gets into a bad mood even before practice starts. You weren’t planning to stay for long, but you know, just in case. 

“It’s not like anyone is going to steal them,” Yuta remarked, a second too late. 

“You’re the reason I don’t come here anymore.” You deadpanned, your comeback making the rest of the boys playfully jeer at Yuta. 

Practice had already started while you were in the washroom, the beeping whistle that would sound every few seconds told you so. Peeking out from a corner, you took in the familiar sight of the team warming up, their shoes squeaking on the wooden flooring. Upon further scrutiny, however, your entire body stiffens once a familiar figure comes into sight. You could only see his back-view, but the white headband that he wore was recognizable anywhere. 

Didn’t Mark say he wouldn’t be here today? 

Your lips curled inwards thinking about how you were going to get out of here without getting noticed. The coach was the least of your concerns, it was Jaehyun that you worried about. You weren’t ready for any form of confrontation yet, not that you expected him to talk to you about it, and you didn’t want to watch him ignore you. Maybe you should just stay here until they end practice. You didn’t have anything on after this anyway. But you also couldn’t imagine waiting around here for hours, and potentially risk getting locked up in here for the night when you don’t actually end up making it out. Racking your brain for unfeasible ideas made you curse in frustration, it was clear that going out by where you came from was the only option.

You turned around the corner from where you were hiding, silently jogging to the benches where you left your things together with Mark’s. You gave the court a quick once over, exhaling in relief when you see them preoccupied with their drills. Gathering your things, you made a run for the exit while they weren’t looking.

“____, you’re leaving already?” Jungwoo’s voice stopped you in your tracks. It was too late to ask him to be quiet since he practically announced your exit to the entire court, but in a moment of panic, you ended up turning around even though you should have continued walking. Jaehyun’s eyes were on you. What shocked you more, however, was the unpleasant surprise that followed after.

Jaehyun, who was supposed to receive a pass from Sungchan, got distracted by you, or rather, Jungwoo saying bye to you. Ball hauled straight at Jaehyun, his teammates shouted at him to watch out, with Yuta even rushing over at the speed of light to hit the ball away. Which unfortunately, backfired, because while he managed to prevent Jaehyun from getting hit by the ball, Yuta ended up colliding into him, the both of them tumbling to the ground. 

“Are you okay?” You don’t know how you ended up in front of Jaehyun, but your trembling hands held him by the shoulder, your eyes glossing over his figure to check if he was okay. 

Jaehyun looked extremely pale, and that’s saying a lot given that he was already very fair to begin with. Eyelids shut, he was profusely breaking out in cold sweat. Their coach snapped his fingers to get Jaehyun’s attention, but there was hardly any response. 

“I’ll take him to the infirmary,” you said.

“Don’t be silly, ____. How are you going to carry him?” Yuta stood up while massaging his right shoulder, recovering from the fall faster than Jaehyun did because it wasn’t as severe for him.  

You unintentionally glared at Yuta because of his snide comment that always seemed to come up at the wrong time. Though, you thought it was warranted this time, because you were fretting over Jaehyun’s injury. Sensing your panic, Yuta raised two hands defensively. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll take him to the nurse. You get his things, I’ll meet you there.”

– 

The wait was awfully long. 

You didn’t want to disrupt the process so you stayed outside with Jaehyun’s things, waiting patiently until you could go in to check on him. You didn’t even feel an ounce of anger towards him, only thinking about whether he was okay or not, because it didn’t seem like he was. Judging from the past few times, you roughly knew that this time of the year was also nearing competition season, so you genuinely hoped that Jaehyun’s injury was nothing serious. It would be so demoralising for him if he had to sit out, and that’s the last thing you wanted for him. 

You hurriedly got up from your seat when you heard the door open, looking over to see the doctor walk out of the infirmary first, with Yuta following right behind. The doctor gave you a polite smile before leaving. 

“How is he?” you dared to ask.

A knowing chuckle left Yuta’s lips. “Your boyfriend’s fine.”

“Yuta.” Your death glare from earlier made a reappearance, and it caused him to straighten up before relaying the doctor’s words.

“Good news is that he didn’t fracture or break anything. The swelling went down after they iced his ankle, but…” Yuta’s voice trailed off.

“But?”

“He caught some flu bug that’s been going around school so his body is kind of weak. Doc said he needs to take a week off to recover, he even prescribed him antibiotics.” That explained his sickly complexion. 

“Can I go in to see him?”

Yuta nodded, holding the door open for you. “I’ll get going first. Take good care of your–”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“… Boyfriend.” A triumphant smile on his face, Yuta got out of your sight even before you could do anything (throw your laptop at him). 

You walked into Jaehyun lying on the bed. His eyes were closed, but the sound of him humming to a tune told you that he wasn’t asleep. You crouched down to put both your things by the bedside, careful not to make a loud ruckus before settling down on the empty chair next to the bed. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice came out as a whisper, as if you were scared to break the silence. 

Jaehyun’s eyelids fluttered open, now looking in your direction as he slowly sat up. “Why are you sorry? It’s not even your fault. I was careless and tripped.” Would it be a stretch to say that he tripped because of you? You’re not sure, but you somehow felt responsible for his current state. 

“Let me take care of you,” you offered.

“No. I don’t need you to take care of me.” 

“But you’re sick,” you persisted, “Stop being so stubborn.”

“I don’t really want to be around you, ____.” Jaehyun said coldly, and your heart sank upon hearing his words. It was hard to believe that this was the same guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. For you. 

You blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “Do you really mean that?” 

“Yes.” Jaehyun’s reply came faster than you’d expected. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. What broke you was how he answered you with a stoic expression that was void of any emotion. 

“I can’t get rid of my feelings if I continue to be around you all the time.” Jaehyun explained, his head hanging low. “So just let me be, and we’ll be okay again once I get over you.”

I don’t want you to get over me.

You wanted to tell Jaehyun, how unfair it was that he never once asked you how you felt about everything, but no words left your mouth. You could only sit there, looking down at your hands, feeling unwanted in a space where even your best friend couldn’t tolerate your presence because you were hurting him as much as he was hurting you. Lines were blurred, and boundaries have been crossed. How could you bring yourself to believe that the two of you would be okay again? 

You fiddled with your hands, earning the courage to look Jaehyun in the eye again. “I’m still going to take care of you.” You said firmly, not allowing for Jaehyun to object before continuing. “It’s your feelings so you deal with it. I’m just here to take care of you”—you paused—“because friends are supposed to be there for each other no matter what. And unless you want me out of your life for good, then you can say no and I won’t bother you anymore.” 

–  

It wasn’t as easy as you thought it’ll be, taking care of Jaehyun. To be fair to him, he didn’t inconvenience you a lot since he spent most of his days in bed. He could still do simple chores, but since you offered to look after him, you made sure that he didn’t have to move around the house so as to focus on recuperating. But even all of that was manageable for you.

The difficult part was feeling like you had to walk on eggshells around him all the time. It didn’t seem fair that you knew about his feelings for you, because there were several instances in which you found yourself thinking: Is it too much? Am I giving him a harder time by doing this? 

So you kept your interactions with him short. 

The same could be said for today. It’s been a week since he fell sick, but Jaehyun was already feeling much better thanks to you. You didn’t have any classes so you stayed over at Jaehyun’s, catching up on your readings while he napped the day away. Even though he was close to recovering, it was unfortunate that the medication that he took was drowsy, so most of the time he spent, he spent asleep.

As it was nearing dinnertime, you decided to cook a simple meal for him so that he could continue taking his medication after getting some food in his system. Turning off the stove, you took a small spoon to taste the porridge, almost letting out a yelp because of how hot it was. You opened the cabinets directly above you, grabbing the salt and pepper to add just a tiny bit of each seasoning into the porridge, just like how Jaehyun would like it. You meticulously poured the porridge into an empty bowl, putting it on a tray before carrying it into Jaehyun’s room.

Leaving the door slightly ajar so that you could hear Jaehyun from the living room in case he needed anything, you were welcomed with the sight of him tucked under the covers, still deep in sleep. Setting the tray down on his bedside table, you walked over to sit on the edge of his bed. You ruffled stray pieces of his hair away to feel his forehead. He had a bit of a temperature earlier, but the medicine seemed to have helped in bringing it down. 

You gently woke Jaehyun up, asking him to eat. Sleep still evident in his eyes, you thought he looked cute with his lower lip protruding out as it took some time for him to sit up, mindlessly looking around his room to process his surroundings. You almost felt bad for interrupting his sleep, but you didn’t have much of a choice because this was his first proper meal of the day, only settling for bread earlier because he said he didn’t have any appetite. 

You took the bowl in your hands, taking one spoonful of the food. Blowing lightly at it to cool off the heat, you fed it to Jaehyun who was still staring into blank space. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked, feeding Jaehyun another mouthful.

“Better,” he said, voice deep and raspy because he’d just woken up. “Still feeling sleepy though.”

“You can go back to sleep after this,” you said with a quiet laugh.

Silence took over as Jaehyun continued to have his meal, but it was neither uncomfortable nor tense. In fact, it was almost like things had gone back to how they originally were, where the two of you were able to spend the entire day without even talking to each other until you were done with your own things. 

Jaehyun took his medication once he finished his meal, chugging down the last bits of water from his 1.5 litre bottle too. You got up from his bed, putting the bowl back onto the tray. 

“I’ll leave the door open again so just shout if you need anything.” You don’t wait for Jaehyun to respond before turning your back to him, getting ready to leave. But he’d surprise you by extending a hand out to your arm, the sudden contact almost causing you to drop the tray. You promptly turned to look at him.

“Can we–”Jaehyun choked out, his voice still hoarse–“can we cuddle?”

With his hand still on your arm, you stood rooted to the ground. The voices in your head fighting with each other at his proposition, you didn’t know how to answer him. Cuddling with each other wasn’t something new, but in light of recent events, you weren’t so sure if the two of you should be doing something so intimate together.

Sighing, you put the tray away before holding onto Jaehyun’s hand. “I’ll do the dishes and come back up, okay?” it felt like you were talking to a child, the way you were so gentle with him as if he was going to break. He nodded, finally letting go of your arm. 

Technically, it wouldn’t hurt to leave the dishes untouched for a while. But you needed that time away to mentally prepare yourself… to be that close to Jaehyun again after such a long time. As you loaded the dirty cutlery into the dishwasher, memories of his confession came rushing to your head. All you could think about were the words he said to you and how it felt to be in his warm embrace. 

You could feel your heart thumping against your chest as you went up to Jaehyun’s room. Closing the door, you laid down on the empty side of the bed next to him. You were cautious at first, but soon that went away when his arm reached out to bring your body closer to his. 

You tried not to think about how right it felt to be in his arms. Holding you in a way that was not in the least uncomfortable, you don’t think that anyone else would know you better than Jaehyun did. 

“Good night, Buttercup,” Jaehyun said, his voice lulling you to sleep.

–  

For the first time in a while, Jaehyun felt well-rested. He didn’t usually have trouble falling asleep, but with so much going on recently, he rarely woke up feeling content.

But the bed felt warmer today, and he knew that it’s because of you. He didn't even plan to ask you to cuddle with him, but he unknowingly blurted it out, and you agreed. 

Jaehyun tilted his head, supporting it with one hand while he looked at you. His feelings for you were all coming back to him again, not that they were ever gone in the first place. He’d simply pushed them aside, convincing himself that he’d be able to get over you. 

But that’s the thing. Because he kept avoiding them, all the more they continued to plague him. Granted, he lied about things being able to go back to how they were, but if he didn’t lie, how else was he supposed to continue staying by your side? 

Jaehyun’s predicament was put on hold as you stirred in your sleep, opening your eyes one at a time before you looked up at him with a lop-sided grin. 

“Morning,” you greeted. 

Jaehyun returned the smile. “Did you sleep well?”

You nodded. “Best sleep I had in a while.”

“Thanks for staying with me even though you didn’t have to.” 

You got up from his bed, stretching your entire body. “It’s no problem. Do you want breakfast? I can whip something up real quick.” 

Jaehyun followed suit, also standing up to make his bed. He spreaded the blanket cover over the mattress, tucking in the corners. “No thanks. I’ll be heading out soon to meet Da-eun at the newly opened café at Med School to—”

“Da-eun?” Jaehyun looked up, frowning at how you didn’t let him finish talking. 

“Yeah, Da-eun. She’s in the same year as us. Remember?” Jaehyun, though confused, didn’t miss the dejected look on your face.

“I’m so sick and tired of this, Jaehyun.”

“What’s wrong with you? I didn’t even do anything,” Jaehyun huffed. Are you seriously picking another fight with him now? 

“Didn’t do anything?” you scoffed. “You’re hurting me, Jaehyun.” 

Jaehyun’s eyes softened after hearing your words.

“You confessed to me and pretended I didn’t exist for weeks. If you really liked me, you wouldn’t ask me to cuddle with you and then go on a date with another girl the next day. You say one thing but do another. I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe when you keep confusing me but for some stupid reason my heart still flutters every time you do or say something sweet,” you rubbed your temples, sighing. “I guess it doesn’t even matter that I like you because this is a joke to you. I’m tired and I don’t want to be a part of your games anymore.” 

Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself from breaking into a wide smile. “You like me?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “Out of everything I said, that’s the only thing you caught?” 

“I wasn’t even done talking,” Jaehyun retorted, going over to the other side of the bed where you stood. The grin on his face didn’t disappear. “I’m meeting Da-eun to complete our paired assignment. I was going to say that we can go to the café the next time if the food’s good.”

Jaehyun looked at you earnestly. “And for the record, I still like you. There’s no need to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!”

Jaehyun’s smile is graced with fondness this time. Looming closer to you, he gently pushed you against the wall, trapping you in between his arms. He looked down at your lips and then back at your eyes, trying to hold back his laughter when he saw that you’ve closed them. Leaning in, Jaehyun placed a tender kiss on your right cheek.

You opened your eyes, sulking. “What happened to wanting to kiss me on the lips?” 

“Patience, Buttercup. Don’t want to spread whatever virus I have to you. Promise I’ll make it up to you next time.” He left another kiss on your left cheek. 

“I think I like seeing you jealous.” Jaehyun added as an afterthought, which earned him a smack on the shoulder from you. 

–  

You and Jaehyun were currently lying against the couch in his living room, feeling like you were about to enter a food coma. It was supposed to be movie night, but the jjamppong was so filling that you two could crash until the next morning. Earlier that day, you’d woken up to a text message from Jaehyun asking you to check your laptop. He claimed that he accidentally saved his assignment in it, and needed you to forward it over to him because it was due in two hours. Rather unbelievable for a Dean’s Lister, but you gave him the benefit of doubt and went ahead to check your laptop anyway.

When you turned it on, you were welcomed by a grey pop-up window. It was completely empty, and despite clicking on the cross button several times, the window simply refused to close. You mentally cursed thinking that you got hacked. You were about to contact Jaehyun about it until a few messages came up in the same window.

Hi girlfriend ♡

I hope I didn’t scare you :) hahaha. 

Your computer is attacked by a virus. 

But if you wear my jersey to the game later, I will wipe it out for you.

Do you accept it? 

The question appeared with two options below: yes and no. You shook your head at another one of Jaehyun’s antics, already envisioning the whimsical smile on his face while coding all of this. He could be using his degree for greater purposes, yet here he was, pranking his poor girlfriend with a pseudo virus attack. You moved your mouse over to click yes, and another series of messages came up.

Wise choice!

I’ve left the jersey in your closet next to where my hoodies are.

See you later and don’t be late.

Love you.

So as promised, you wore Jaehyun’s jersey to his match. The second he saw you, he couldn’t stop smiling. His teammates kept making ooh and aah noises, you had to shush them from afar so that they would stop teasing your boyfriend. Eyes on him the entire time, you were beyond proud when his team had successfully emerged as champion again, the both of you exchanging sweet smiles with each other after the game ended. After which, Jaehyun came home to you, celebrating the end of the season with Chinese takeout.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You already did,” Jaehyun quipped. 

You moved away from him, faking anger. You tried standing up, but that only gave Jaehyun a chance to grab your arm, pulling you down to sit on his lap. “Ask, baby.”

“Why do you hold three fingers up during your games? Like is it supposed to mean something? You keep doing that a lot, even today.” 

An amused hum escaped Jaehyun’s lips upon hearing your question. Although it’s already been established that you only went to basketball games for him, his heart still turned warm at how you attentively observed him throughout his games even if you didn’t understand the sport well. Much less wanting to know about his team strategies.

“It just means that we’re going to try for a three-pointer,” Jaehyun disclosed, pressing soft kisses against your shoulder blade. “We change it up every time. but the main gist of it is that we will make three passes before going for the three-point field goal.” 

You hummed in acknowledgement. “So that’s what it meant! That’s so cool.” 

Jaehyun’s kisses stopped. “I have a gift for you,” he said. 

“A gift?” you felt bad. You should be the one giving him something for completing his season. Before you could protest, however, Jaehyun asked you to close your eyes.

At first you felt him shifting below you, curious about what gift he could possibly be hiding when you didn’t recall seeing any paper bag of some sort when you entered his house. Thereafter, you heard him opening something, taking it out of... a box? You could hear something dangling. Not long after, that something was around your neck. You knew by now what it was, but Jaehyun asked you to open your eyes only after he fastened the clasp.

“No way!” you exclaimed. Gaze shifting downwards, you brought a hand up to touch the necklace that Jaehyun had helped you put on. It was a silver initial necklace with the letter J, a tiny heart charm hanging just next to it. 

“J as in Jaehyun?” you asked. You turned to look at him with doe-eyes, like that one emoji that you’d always use whenever you needed a favour from him. “No way…” 

“Do you like it?” 

“What do you mean? Of course I do! I just had my Gabriella Montez moment…” 

Jaehyun let out a hearty laugh. “I’m glad you like it.”

While you were still admiring the necklace, Jaehyun slyly snuck an arm around your waist, effortlessly lifting you up and putting you down to lie on the empty spot next to him. He changed his position such that he was now hovering over you, slowly taking your hand in his so that your attention would shift from the necklace to him. 

“So pretty,” he breathed.

With parted lips, Jaehyun moved in bit by bit to connect your bodies together. Just centimetres away from you, you could feel his lips ghosting over yours, making you want nothing more than to reach up to close the gap that separated the two of you from sharing a kiss. His eyes darted down to your lips for a mere second before he dived right in, going straight for your upper lip first. He pulled back slightly, silently checking if you were okay with what he was doing. And when he felt you kiss him back with a sense of urgency, Jaehyun brought a hand to the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss, smiling in content.

If his life was a movie, then you were the best part.

[holdinbacksecrets]

svt finds out you were married before you met them

anon… this request is golden. thank you so much for sending it! i had the best time writing these 🤍

seventeen find out you were married before being with them

seungcheol: he’s at the bodega around the corner because you’re out of… he forgot the excuse. luckily, it was mumbled and difficult to make out, so he’ll bring back coffee. his palms are sweating and he looks up at the ceiling as if the answer’s in between the popcorn. now, you’re his. he’s yours. you’re one. but you were someone else’s, and that idea isn’t new to him, but knowing that someone was your husband makes it feel different. he looks up again. “please give me something here.” a light flickers. he leaves without the coffee

jeonghan: he stops to watch you spoon strawberry jam onto slices of toast. they’re golden brown triangles beside scrambled eggs, and you’re making sure the bright red covers the golden brown surface perfectly, just like you always do. the only red he can think about is the blood his heart is pumping, and the fact that his heart stopped pumping for a moment or two

joshua: “now everything makes sense.” “what do you mean?” “sometimes you’re just too good at being my partner.” “that has nothing to do with being married before. i’m literally just in love and obsessed with you. actually, being married did make me strict about the dishes. i’ll never go to bed with a pile in the sink.” “baby, you won’t go to bed if there’s a spoon in the sink or a crumb on the countertop.” “and how good does it feel to wake up and see a clean kitchen, hmm?”

jun: he’s confused. he’s wearing it, swallowing it, holding it in his gaze, and suddenly wondering how well he knows you— why it took you so long to tell him

soonyoung: “i knew it was a mistake by the next morning. i woke up craving my mom’s pancakes.” “have her send us the recipe.” you squeeze his hand and bow your head so your lips can brush its palm. “don’t worry, history won’t repeat itself.”

wonwoo: the photo album’s on his lap. it feels like a fever dream to look at you. you watch the sky through the window, craving color after too much black and white. “i’m mad at myself.” “why?” “i should’ve waited for you.”

jihoon: the ring came rolling out of its hiding spot and stopped in the middle of your bedroom floor. the sunlight caught it. he blinked a million times, felt his lips part too. you let it be. you exhaled, feeling relieved to part with the secret. finally

seokmin: “look at me. do i look upset?” “no… you eyes are all shiny” like he might cry. “it means a lot that you told me.” “i shouldn’t have waited so long.” “you really didn’t wait that long.” “are you sure you’re ok? do you… am i…” “yes.”

mingyu: the words come out on a sunday morning in the park near your place. your head’s on his shoulder. his hand’s on your thigh; it’s warm and the slightest bit rough—different from the cool, soft breeze on your cheek, on the back of your neck. he asks about your happiness and when it left the space you created with your ex. he wants to know what he can do to make sure that never happens again. he wants to make sure he’s not missing anything

minghao: he’s watching you. there’s gentle love in his eyes. he’s hoping you’ll look up and away from the sudsy dishes for just a moment long enough to realize he’s not mad. to realize it doesn’t change anything

seungkwan: he wonders about your wedding dress and if you still have it. he wonders about pictures and videos and the expression on your face at the altar. moments he’s dreamed about are already existing in memories, have already been seen by your loved ones, might be sour in your head. would you do it all again? do you even want to?

vernon: “i can’t help but wonder how many people make the same mistake as me… think something’s love when it’s not.” “do you really think of it as a mistake?” “pretty sure that’s just a fact.” “i’m not so sure… aren’t you the same person who’s told me for years that everything happens for a reason?” “maybe i just tell myself that to lessen the blow.” “possibly, but maybe it’s true. maybe that step that you think was in the wrong direction was crucial. i wouldn’t have found you any other way.”

chan: “i feel like i shouldn’t be looking at this… it’s like i’m seeing your dress before i’m supposed to. i shouldn’t know what you’ll look like walking down the aisle.” “this isn’t who i am anymore. think of how much time has passed. i have brand new skin now.” “…i thought you were going to say something romantic.”

[valyrfia]

f1 drivers as tracks from the tortured poets department: a very abridged and very biased list.

DISCLAIMER: this is all for fun and should be taken very lightheartedly. Not all drivers were included, but I am open to suggestions as well as constructive criticism.

Without further ado:

CHARLES LECLERC - I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Absolutely suicidal lyrics that should be mildly concerning but all in all very upbeat and makes you want to run around doing side quests. Such as write an album, or open an ice cream shop. I'm thinking this is specifically 2022 Charles when he trusted no one at Ferrari, or mid-2023 when everyone was calling him washed and calling for his teammate to be n1 driver, and then he proceeded to put it on pole in a tractor multiple times and still hasn't finished outside the top 5 since. Either way, I am looking forward how this song will hit when Charles gets his eventual championship.

MAX VERSTAPPEN - Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

This one is for Mad Max, who was thrust onto the world stage as an untested young prodigy at seventeen, who was called too young and immature and proceeded to win a GP upon debut in a top team, who was called Crashtappen from 2015-2019 and labelled as overly aggressive to his detriment, who was painted as a villain by every media outlet and documentary and DTS episode, who said "fuck the haters" and won championships anyway, who broke records, and made his own national anthem the expected song for every podium. A driver who is fast approaching greatest of all time status, for his win streaks alone. A driver that most others now just shrug about, because there's no shame in not choosing to fight the inevitable.

LEWIS HAMILTON - So Long, London

Ah, the heart-wrenching track of letting go of your long-term British relationship that doesn't serve you anymore. So many lyrics from here I could apply to the rumoured break down of amicable relations between Lewis and Mercedes, the team he won six championships with. From "My spine split from carrying us up the hill" to "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out. I founded the club she's heard great things about" to "you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it. My white-knuckle dying grip. Holding tight to your quiet resentment". Honestly, I could copy and paste all the lyrics here and they would apply to Lewis' Merc swan song. Taylor wrote "you swore that you loved me but where were the clues, I died on the altar waiting for the proof." about Abu Dhabi 2021.

CARLOS SAINZ - The Prophecy

Carlos has been delivering some of the best drives of his career this season, but it doesn't matter because he's not the chosen one, he's not il predestinato, he's not the son of Maranello. No matter what he does, he would never have kept that Ferrari seat over the mythos of Charles Leclerc. "Let it once be me. Who do I have to speak to, to redo the prophecy?"

LANDO NORRIS - Guilty as Sin?

Specifically given for half-flirting with Red Bull for most of last season, only to shake himself out of it and re-sign with McLaren, but I have one eye on him, not entirely sure he's given up on the Red Bull daydream, and Red Bull have been open about wanting to get him, if they can. It's all on Lando to stay faithful.

OSCAR PIASTRI - Fresh Out the Slammer

Piastrigate continues to inspire and compel an entire generation of F1 fans, and as such should form the basis of Oscar's song selection. What was the promises that Alpine made him, if not "Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine"

FERNANDO ALONSO - Florida!!!

Florida!!! is a big and powerful song about being a Shakespearean villain with a History and questionable morals and motives. Who is that if not Fernando Alonso? "Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable." "Is that a bad thing to say in a song?"

LANCE STROLL - But Daddy I Love Him

Yeah this one is self-indulgent and too good to resist. He's singing it about Fernando btw. Next.

DANIEL RICCIARDO - Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Someone is getting that Red Bull seat next year, and every name is on the list except Daniel Ricciardo. "As the decade played us for fools, you saw my bones out with somebody new." Who knows what would have happened if Daniel hadn't left Red Bull, all those years ago? "Just say you loved me the way you were" Oof. We could spend years living in the What Ifs of it all.