#from the nsft blog bc this is nsft

[quarterqueens]

what if we fucked on the olympic anti-sex beds haha: a lawlight fic

this is no longer even slightly timely BUT do you guys want to read a fic about lawlight fucking on those olympic anti-sex beds anyway. yes the anti-sex qualities of those beds were disproven but it's sexier if they weren't. au where cardboard can't be strong.

The room is dark, the light that falls through the closed curtains moonlight soft as L lays Light down on the bed. He has locked the door and it’s only the two of them — L who belongs in this room and Light who doesn’t, Light who is crossing into enemy territory.

L is careful with him. He presses one hand against his shoulder, to keep him still, firm but gentle, more gentle than Light has ever been touched before, then crawls on top of him and leans down and kisses him chaste. 

He doesn’t move like a man who is careful during sex; there is something about the deliberateness of his movements that speaks to a familiarity with roughness. It’s the bed, Light is pretty sure, which is cardboard and flimsy, not designed for two. 

He doesn’t mind. This is not usually what he likes, either, but now he feels something close to reverence; in other circumstances he might be embarrassed by this but now he is not. Now this care is practical, useful, the only sensible route to take. 

L lowers his groin to Light’s and Light lets out a long groan, a noise that’s barely voluntary. L leans down again and kisses him into silence. “Careful,” he says, voice low, not quite a whisper. “We mustn’t be heard.”

Light shuts his eyes. He can smell L around him, like cederwood and sage and a body that has been in motion; a clean scent, not unpleasant. L’s body is so hot and he can feel it descending towards him before L presses his lips to his throat and kisses a line down it, along his artery, into the dip of his throat. 

Light whines. He twists beneath L’s hips and L grinds against him, slow. 

He moves like he already knows Light’s body. And in a way he has — he has seen Light, surely, dancing across the piste, his sword on hand; he must have thought of how best to defeat him. Light has thought about the same. And so it’s only natural that each touch sends heat swirling through Light, sends electric sparks all through him, that it all seems to curl towards the core of himself.

Light has had lovers before, and many of them knew just what to, but this feels different; it feels like the cumulation of a conversation they’ve already had. 

L trails a hand towards Light buckle, a question more than a demand, and Light catches it. He opens his eyes to find L watching him, cautious, waiting. Some men look impatient when stopped in this way but only looks like he’s waiting to be told how to proceed. 

“Just this,” Light says. “Just — this is good.” 

“Alright,” L says, his voice quiet. He sounds like he wants to know more — not in the wheedling way some people get, but because he seems interested in Light. But now isn’t the time and he must know this because instead he leans down again and kisses Light’s collarbone and Light lifts his hips to meet L’s, clothed but warm nonetheless, the pressure aching but wonderful. 

It has been a long time since he had sex that did not feel desperate, sex that felt languid, like it could easily be had again and more; their time here is limited and he knows this but he is also sure, without asking, that they can find their way together again, if needs be. This was not a chance meeting; it was meant, their stars tangled together. He’s sure of it because he’s never before met someone like L — L isn’t so special, or at least he isn’t here, but he feels suited to Light, his second half; meeting him had felt like finally slipping a sword into its sheath, like discovering the place where all his sharp edges belonged, where they could not hurt, where they were wanted. 

And so there’s no need to rush. He does not want to rush. He does not want to hurtle through this the way he always does, as if he had to race to discover an unfortunate ending; instead he lies back and allows L to kiss him warm beneath the throat, cants his hips into L’s, and allows his mind to fall quiet. 

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[themostdesperatehoney]

How it feels to keep getting recommended detrans kink blogs even though you despise that shit and don't interact with it at all

[mugenloopdalove]

You know what we REALLY need to bring back.

Random match rp chats like the Homestuck fandom had. It was such a great rp environment where you could find anything and was, at least to me, a lot less pressure and stress than posting a call on reddit or a dying forum.

I think there's like... One that hasn't been overrun by trolls and dudes w their hands already in their pants. But I'm not sure how active it is or how to easy it is if you're wanting to rp a certain fandom or something

[starcures]

deeply intrigued by DNI banners on stim blog posts .. im guessing theres plenty of communities that do stuff like that but their sheer degree of specificity and prevalence is so interesting

[floatybug]

Congratulations I have discovered trans hornyposting on tumblr dot com and I don’t think I feel quite confident and comfortable enough to participate but I appreciate people who post pics in the tag, yall are so gorgeous and hot n i’d do you with zero hesitation if you asked me to

Im having yet another Moment

[heart-shaped-chains]

I've had coarse hair like. Under my chin for a while now, but now I'm actually starting to get it on my chin. Even though it's just a little spot, I'm super hyped about it. I haven't even started transitioning yet, I already have a head start :)

[swordofthesanguine]

having paranoia is funny sometimes because it makes you think youre so fucking slick covering your tracks about things that dont matter at all like i be out here carefully avoiding liking any anon ask i send or waiting until a bunch of other people like it before i do solely because ive figured out some peoples anons via their likes and if i did so could someone else

but like. literally why does it matter. who cares. so what i said you were hot or some shit lol why does my brain make me run circles bc of it

[whendidthisbecomeawhorehouse]

Any kinks

an now for the hardast questin bc wwhy not

im uh acually still tryna decide how much off that i want to revel on here

like yeah yeah theres horny but uh

ill start off wikh a few easy opnes i am a size queen lmao one a my favorite dildos is the size a my forearm

also as i mentined bedore i like being tied up an also like it bein prty so shibari

oh an i like fanrasy dildos im lookin for a good kind a tentacleish one prefarably from a maker that does the uh lube tube thing

yeah i might al5o have athing for you know notable quantities a gnetic fluid to put it uphamistically preferably on or in me

[user2718273]

The terror characters and how I think they use social media:

Crozier does not. Not even facebook. Tried buying something off ebay one time but grew enraged and had to get james (clark ross or fitzjames, take your pick) to do it for him

Jfj dominates the nsft tag on tumblr. Got a weird mommydom thing going on with Little who sends him anonymous asks and is deeply involved in puppyboy culture. Hodge is also on tumblr but runs a blog dedicated to public transit

Jirv is ofc deep in christian instagram reels

Le Vesconte runs a sports subreddit. Frequently ends up arguing with tozer. Once spent hours going through tozer’s profile downvoting every comment he’s ever left, unaware that tozer was simultaneously doing the same to him

All the stewards have a group chat on slack which is the only social media jopson uses bc crozier thinks social media is uncool. Everyone always thinks jopson’s mad at them cause he uses perfect punctuation. Half the time they’re right. Gibson types in all lowercase and makes frequent use of crying cat reactions. Bridgens uses emojis unironically

Hickey joins signal chats, accuses people of being feds, and leaves. Also very active on grindr, where he arranges hookups, steals shit from their houses, then blocks them

Silna doomscrolls from one platform to another until she ends up on youtube watching a 3 hour video essay. Goodsir sends her informative tiktoks. They’re both very invested in Fat Bear Week

Pilkington leaves misspelled comments on pornhub

[ghoulishfreak]

uhhh intro post i guess

hi, you can call me cosmic✨ (he/him), this is my nsft blog. switch, vers, ftm bisexual, 21, white. im a man but im not afraid to reblog posts referring to me as a girl bc what's more important than my gender is that im a slut <3

this is a sideblog so i wont likeor follow from this account.

tell me if you get off to my blog <3

my dm's are open! im not looking for anything deeply committed (romantically or otherwise) but i love playing <3. i also feel like its important to say that i'm autistic, so if i misunderstand things or am just weird in general, that's why. please feel free to send asks, especially provocative ones 💕

anons taken: 🕷️,🦇, 🌹, cursive, 🐚, ,🌀, 🌻, 🔮, 🌑,🐈‍⬛, 🪴, 👻, 🦊, 🐢

I am comfortable sending and receiving pictures! I will not send face or dick pics, but everything else is ok!

Warning: I use homophobic slurs sexually, especially the f-slur. if that makes you uncomfortable than this is not a good blog for you!

DNI: minors, racists, transphobes, homophobes, MAPS(pedos), TERFS, zionists

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸

tip jar for mee💕

https://pleasepraise.me/ghoulishfreak

WHAT TO CALL ME: baby, puppy, fag, toy, slut, fucktoy

TITLES: Sir, Owner, Master, Daddy

THINGS I POST:

- Hypno

- Somno

- Pet play (puppy stuff mostly)

- Cnc

- Intox

- Monsterfucking

- Free Use

- Breeding

THINGS I DONT POST/LIKE:

- Detrans

- Misogyny related kink/hypno

- Scat/Omo

- Vore

- Feet

- Feeder/anything involving weight

- Diapers

- Incest

[yinyuedijun]

making this poll because for both hsr and wbk my nsft fics do significantly worse than my other ones. which is extremely funny bc that's the literal opposite of the wider trend on tumblr, but it makes me question what I should be doing w my time LMFAOOO

[6okuto]

..can we have leander nsfw headcanons? just imagine him like praising you n shi it gets me all hot and bothered 😭

LEANDER NSFT HCS

minors + ageless blogs dni. thank u. | sub/bottom gn!reader. anything otherwise (post's second half) is noted :-)

hello. i'm back. goes dom to sub leander bc i think u wanted more dom.... I get it. i mean i know he’s got Major sub vibes but i make everyone a switch for max happiness.

voice hc where it's smooth but a little raspy if he's speaking quietly like when he's whispering in your ear btw

likes praising you, especially if he knows you enjoy it. he tries out different pet names and notes which ones get the biggest reaction. he casually uses them to surprise you, but i can also see him straight up asking. like, leander hovering above you, one arm by your head as the other trails down your side and he whispers different ones into your ear

"do you like baby? or angel? yeah? what about sweetheart?" etc etc

when you’re on top and leander tells you to only put in the tip, hands resting on your thighs and hooded eyes watching you expectantly. he praises you when you do what you ask. “that’s it, just like that,” he says breathily. you whine his name back, but he just teases you, “mhm, doing so well for me.”

he waits for you to plead to take all of him before he pulls you lower himself. he gives you a few seconds to recover (really he just wanted to hear your moans properly) before bucking his hips up and finally moving

leander makes sure you don’t hide your face and tells you to watch him while he lowers himself between your legs. he keeps eye contact while he languidly licks you, and teases you for how wet you are. will moan not just because you taste good but because he knows you can feel it. he murmurs about how good you taste, how good you’re being for him, before continuing

him using his teeth to take off his gloves.... man. he makes a point to do it again, making sure you’re watching his fingers as they travel from your jaw down to your chest, hips, waistband, between your legs. he presses his hand against you through the fabric and smiles when you try to grind against his hand for some kind of friction.

if he notices you trying to stifle your moans with your hand he pulls it above your head and interlocks fingers. you know how rowdy everyone gets downstairs, why don’t you let yourself be a little louder?

leander thrusting into you as you lie on your back, and sweat rolling down his temple while his hair falls in front of his face. him moving in closer when you push his hair back for him, suddenly hitting a little deeper because he loved the added intimacy

the both of you being so needy, you're already undressing each other as you make your way to your room. if allowed, leander Will just push you up against the wall while making out with you.

^ fucks you against the wall . if you want to be picked up he Will pick you up, no questions asked. he'll try a lot of positions in a lot of places to be honest

seriously Loves To Talk. loves when you talk too

leander telling you to touch yourself while he watches (and strokes his own cock). him giving you a toy and telling you to pretend it's his cock, even though you both know it could never compare :(

he encourages you, as if it was him fucking you, “wanna cum? you wanna cum on my cock? cum for me."

leander making you tell him what you want. he’ll sit there in between your legs and let his fingers tap against your hips, and he won’t move until you say something. To be fair, if you’re not used to it, he’ll prompt you by giving you things to repeat back to him. “where do you want me to touch you?” “do you want me inside of you? tell me.”

leander being possessive while he's fucking you, not slowing down while he asks, "you're mine, right? only mine."

him saying he's the only one who can fuck you, the only one who knows how to fuck you

ohhh but soft sex with leander…him embracing you, as close as possible… him talking about how much he loves you and how stunning you are… his lips against your jaw and planting kisses every so often before saying you feel so good, no one’s ever made him feel as good as you do. his thrusts are slow but deep, and you can feel him smiling when you moan his name

cumming inside you. on you. in your mouth. anything is going to make him so so happy, he can’t pick when you look the best to him

dom!reader | telling Him what to do. obedient, patient leander sitting and waiting for your every demand. (or him being Such a brat just to see what kinds of punishments you have in store)

dom!reader | having his hands tied behind his back while he goes down on you and all he wants to do is touch you. but even without his hands, leander knows you and your body and is always eager to please, especially when you use your free hand to pull his hair and push him even further.

dom!reader | not afraid to beg you for things. he groans when you tease him by only licking the tip. you ask him what he wants and he starts whimpering, "please, please, fuck—” and he has to stop from bucking into your mouth

dom!reader | devolves into a whimpering mess if you tease him for too long or overstimulate him, yet can’t stop himself from begging for more and promising he can take it. he’s arching his back when you ask if you should stop, and he shakes his head before groaning and biting his lip.

leander telling you to use him . gets off to the fact that he’s the reason you feel so good

^ same reasoning behind him loving when you leave scratch marks on his back, or hickies across his chest. (he also likes it when you put your fingers in his mouth or spit in it)

dom!reader | You being possessive over Him. you ask if you're the only one he'll be bringing to this room from now on and he nods, eyes a little glazed over, breath shaky when he responds with "yes, yes, yes—"

top!reader | leander getting you to lie down so he can slowly sit on top of you… he loves watching your face as he finally reaches the base and clenches around you

dom top!reader | fucking leander in front of a mirror and making him stare at and degrade himself. sorry. he likes it when you grip his face and whisper in his ear and tell him to watch as you fuck him. if you start to touch his cock he moans so obscenely loud

dom top!reader | ...fan of doggy style? you pushing him further into the mattress, forcing him to muffle his moans in the pillow. leander trying helplessly to fuck back against you

top!reader | leander stopping you when you try to pull out because he doesn't want to lose the sensation of you inside him yet ;(

magic w receiving leander... like if there is/was a way for you to touch him without touching him,, he'd be into it, y’know what i mean? like him sitting on the other side of the room and having to keep it together because Somehow your hand is reaching to play with his cock or ass and he can barely process what the people at the bar are saying to him

up to try anything once if you bring it up btw. he hopes you aren't embarrassed about asking and always takes you seriously

Something about strip teases or just,, undressing. especially if you’re undressing each other… the anticipation that builds in his chest when you slowly take off his clothes, and he knows what’s coming next

[domreaderheadcannonscenarios]

Can I get some sub!Andrealphus headcanons please? 🥺 I love him so much but so much of his content is with him as dom

YESS IM SO HAPPY YO GET A REQUEST ON HIM!!

I did sfw and nsft bc I love him and wanted ti share personal hcs of him!!

Also I haven’t seen anyone do any sub for like, any characters??? There’s so few other blogs for sub charas in this fandom?! Like I found 6 blogs with sub charas…and I’m nearly half of them…(I have one hidden side blog I don’t publicly use I’ve been posting about on)

Andrealphus

Cw: eye licking (canon kink), gore mention, death mention, torture mention, horn play, mockery halo play, capture roleplay, bath ***,

-

Sfw!:

You’re basically his only friend or family so he spends most his free time with you, even when he’s not hanging out with you he’ll often follow the group your with to keep you safe from a distance

He ask you to hold his hands in public so he doesn’t get lost, bump into someone or thing, or trip, even though he somehow notices when there’s items on the floor you don’t see and pulls you out of the way. He claims he just mis stepped as you clearly notice he avoids stepping in minor obstacles

He likes being close to you and loves you touching him, he sometimes just ask you to hold him, then he will just fall asleep and magically only wake up when you stop holding him

If you ever get tired he’ll give you a horseback ride (you have your legs around his hips and he holds your thighs while carrying you) all the way home. You notice he somehow doesn’t need you to warn him of any obstacles as he gently carries you, trying to avoid moving you as much as possible.

He feels bad for accidentally startling you a few times and to make up for it he pretends to be startled by you for your enjoyment. You have actually startled him a few times at to your amusement he visibly jumps when you run up from behind and hug him. He just doesn’t know how to react!

He’s good hearted but silly, and doesn’t know what humans like, so he starts giving you angel wings as gifts, but…they are preserved, he tells you they are valuable like that and that any devil (and a few angels) would want them for a high price

He doesn’t let angels get near you, in fact the angels usally are past tense when you finally get to see them, there isn’t a lot to see, just blood and angel remnants…though to your confusion the angels he takes wings from (for you not himself) have…been left alive and were at the mercy of the devils around them.

Nsft!

Canon kink: Oculophilia: deriving sexual pleasure from licking another persons eyeballs

He has tried to lick your eyes without asking before and upon freaking you out he’s confused, you come to the agreement he can only do it if your eyes are closed, it’s still weird and uncomfortable but he deeply enjoys it. He doesn’t do it often, and it’s usually if he’s in a mood and excited. When you did it back to him he actually just straight up creamed himself.

Sorry, the wings stay on during s*x, I don’t make the rules…

You’re his first…he actually never really had anyone to tell him what to do, so he genuinely just will let you do whatever you want and he practically just enjoys making you feel good, he’s a service sub

He is very quiet until you play with his horns, then he’s loudly moaning for you to keep going, where to rub, twist, scratch, etc. He does actually enjoy you playing with the halo, it’s tied to his horns with magic so he can feel you touch it through his horns

He…did sort of catch you off guard with requesting you to pretend to be an angel hunter, and he want to play as a angel and let you ‘torture’ him, then push it further to you only stopping once you ‘corrupt’ him into a fallen angel. (He uses his wings and halo for it.)

Andre likes when you do capture role plays, he enjoys being at your mercy, he even tries to teach you how to hogtie and other forms of restraining him.

You once started jerking him off in a bath and he now cant bathe with you without getting excited, he says it’s just an intimacy thing, since he’s not used to being so exposed

He will randomly ask to feel your face while you two are fucking since he wants to remember your expressions, he gets more excited if you let him

[ryans-planet]

HOWDY,

To all Moots and those that like my other & previous blog @Ryan-Planet, please follow this blog instead now!!!

tumblr made me invisible & got my ass, because they are transphobic. so I’m gonna keep that blog as an archive and use THIS one from now on for NSFT activities. Virtually everything will be the same except very less pictures bc ough.

ALSO! A Discord Server!;

A few moots and I have been working on a NSFT T4T discord server. And it’s BASICALLY READY! in order to enter you must make an intro through the template.

NO MINORS. YOU WILL BE BANNED.

[vinciwolf]

Loyalty Pt 5 (2/2)

(Recom)Na’vi!Miles Quaritch x (fem)Na’vi!Reader

Warnings: SLOW BURN, THIS IS AN EVENTUAL NSFT SERIES, ENEMIES TO LOVERS, capture, romance, reader is female

Warnings for this chapter: reposted this bc I found some errors and also the tags weren't working Finally, the second half of part 5!!! Bring tissues!!! Fluff, tension, angst, violence, animal death, things are finally boiling over!

Notes: Na’vi spoken in italics AND brackets now to clear up any confusion in this chapter.

Tags: @deliwrites​ @ikranwings​ @lovekeeho​ @luciddasher​ @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed​ @avatar-lover​ @justasimps-blog​ @mechformers​ @perseny​ @dakotali​ @ragingloser​ @worldofmunson​ @whxre-bxby​

You awoke to the hint of sunrays ascending into a purple hue of morning dawn on the horizon. The corner of your lip upturned when the arm around your waist pulled you closer atop the chest you rested your head on, ear listening to the soft thumps of Miles’ heartbeat, your hand lazily set upon his sternum.

Sand shifted beneath your body when you stretched up to peek at the sturdy Marine who still kept his eyes shut, not wanting to move for a few more minutes. It had been a very late hour into the night after starwatching when the two of you laid down to get off your feet, only to slowly descend into sleep on the beach shoulder to shoulder.

“Miles…” you start, tone soft and hushed. “Miles, we…should go back…before anyone thinks we’ve run off.”

A hint of a smirk inched forward on the Recom’s cheek, finding a small bit of humor at your recall to what he had told you inside the floating mountains.

Getting up was hard as the sand was pillowy and warm, but brushing off the particles from your clothes was even worse seeing that your pants had a hole in it for your tail, allowing some of the granular substance to get into your ass crack. Maybe sleeping on the beach wasn’t so much a good idea let alone a romantic one.

The walk back to camp was quiet save for the sounds your feet made shuffling through the pale beach, sun entering the sky and casting itself onto the waking world around you. Not wanting to disturb anyone, you gently got onto your bedroll and stilled yourself, making it seem as if you never left. Miles did much the same in his cot. But there was an eye that peeked open and sneakily watched your elusive return, making the kid grin briefly before returning to his dreams.

~

You soared fast above the water’s edge. Sprinkles of water dusted your face as the large waves crashed into each other below. The sounds reverberated your soul, making the head of your Ikran tip up to glide higher away from the oceanic chaos. Soon the objective of this rough flight came into view: the SeaDragon. It was mighty in size and glared the bright light of the sun off its giant, metallic frame.

Flying in with Miles and Lyle, Sylway flapped hard and landed atop the helm of the SeaDragon. Your feet landed with a bang on the roof as did the other two large Recoms when they dismounted, just for them to hop down with audible thuds onto the deck where the captain stood with a long scowl. Being only seconds behind them, you were about to do the same until you halted when Miles rotated his weight and extended a hand, the light blue of his palm welcoming for you to take—and you did with a visible smirk. The Colonel’s hand firm as he helped you down. Then the captain let out his voice causing your ears to tip with annoyance since you knew a voice like that was attached only to the worst of insufferable douchebags.

“Are you the arsehole commandeering my ship?” Scoresby whined with a heavy accent.

That was Miles’ cue to saunter toward the captain, having an elbow arched from his fingers idly sliding to rest over his pistol.

With a fanged smirk, he admitted huskily, “That would be me.”

Your cheeks flared hot at the cool touch of his voice hijacking your senses. From this angle, your eyes feasted along the arm resting on the holster, studying the flexed muscles swollen under azure, striped skin. He knew what he was doing and it was unfair how he withheld himself last night, only sparing you a kiss to the fucking forehead, so you gladly drank up whatever you could find during these missions.

Not realizing the air passing over your mouth dried out the skin, you padded your tongue to wet them. But there were another pair of lips that weren’t exactly dry, instead quite the opposite.

Inside, Scoresby and Garvin introduced themselves as you stood near the scientist from the other side of the glowing table that showed a map of island locations.

“There’s probably fifty villages out there,” one had mentioned.

“Fifty—one hundred—we’ll search them all,” Miles countered.

“You can’t just come in here and take over my ship! I have quotas to meet!”

Your eyes that were fixed on the captain slowly trailed to the Colonel who leaned his body and lengthy arms on the holographic surface.

“I’ll be nice once, then I won’t,” he smiled with mock friendliness, ears folding back.

You heart skipped when he said that. He was ready, by any means necessary, to finish what he started. Then it dawned on you just how deep with was getting. War was here. Nothing could prepare you for the coming storm – the whole point of the Recombinants’ existence – and that made you anxious, and fearful. You hated how the RDA would waste life just to consume everything. Hated how Miles and every person that was rebirthed as Na’vi would perish eventually while Ardmore could care less.

Inwardly, you scoffed. Just cogs in the machine. Nothing more.

But maybe you could keep at least one of the Recoms alive.

You had to. Your heart begged of it.

~

You knew the RDA was ruthless, so you begged Eywa to prolong those brief moments when Spider laughed or to feel the hairlike touch that set your body on fire when Miles' pinky grazed yours amidst a crowd at a boring meeting. But stalling was not their forte. They would claw forward, burning the whole world down, to get what they wanted. You understood this, teeth grinding together as your heart wrenched witnessing village after village ravaged. Ardmore would have her scalp, no matter how much it pained you to see her loyal Recom at his worst.

The Metkayina were shoved onto their knees and threatened with voltage weapons swelling a knot into your throat too hard to swallow down. You understood that power too well.

Stood before you were Miles, Prager, and Lyle holding the chief and Tsahik hostage. The Colonel lifted up a portrait of Jake and demanded them to tell where to find him.

“These are sea people. Forest people don’t come here,” Spider earnestly explained.

Then the Tsahik regarded you desperately, “[Please, stop this madness! You need to leave!]”

“They don’t know anything!” Spider shouted.

Your heart was torn, unsettling your whole body while begging the villagers to help find your friend. But several of the Metkayina around you kept talking and yelling which made the Recoms and human soldiers angry and begin yelling themselves. Trying to keep up with the scrambled threads of conversations, you got onto your knees and focused on the Tsahik in desperation.

“[It doesn’t matter what you tell me, just give me a direction! Any direction!]” you spoke fast.

Mentally, your cussed yourself out for asking her to lie, but then quickly recalled that these people didn’t even have a word for lie. Her voice was swift as she told you that she didn’t know where Jake was, but you kept interrupting her in an attempt to get her to understand that she didn’t have to tell the truth – you only needed a random location to suffice. But being scrambled with your try at buying time, you didn’t notice that the Recoms were tired, especially Miles, who got increasingly irritated behind you. Then your blood ran cold when three bold words came from the Colonel.

“Shoot that animal!” he shouted, pointing at an Ilu.

Then a loud blast rang through your ears causing them to sting, whole body curling in from the sudden noise. Then the villagers cried and hollered watching the creature float dead in the water. You swiveled where you crouched and looked to the water, eyes rounding in shock, lungs deepening with hard breaths.

A few feet away, the kid made it clear his disgust. “What the hell are you doing???”

No… no, no, no!

You felt like a failure. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Your feet were faster than your thoughts as you stood and said very firmly, almost a hiss, “…Miles.”

“They don’t know anything! What you’re doing here is wrong!” Spider screamed. “Please!”

Then Lyle was pushing the end of his rifle into your backside, stinging your flesh as the barrel was still freshly hot.

“Choose your next words carefully,” he warned.

That was when you had enough.

“You’re not pressing the knife where it hurts—” you turn around and face the Corporal, image reflecting off his black shades, this time his gun at your ribs “—and next time you threaten me—” you glare through your brow with a hint of your sharp fangs glinting in the sunlight “—do it to my face.”

Then you took Spider, who you loved and raised, and trudged away from the chaos, Miles not even stopping you. You couldn’t cry, not in front of them. The deep rot in your chest returned and ate away the last lingering bit of hope you tried to salvage in this daily hellhole. Why did you even stay again? Oh, right, the thing around to your neck. You were trapped.

Had he felt nothing? Had those moments of touch and comfort mean anything, or was he just playing along to get a kick out of it. Did he get off knowing that if he wanted to take you, nothing could stop him. How could you resist? You wanted so badly for things to be better, despite the gaping hole manifesting itself in your heart having to watch countless communities destroyed.

~

Eclipse had fallen hours ago. The dock was quiet and lifeless from the Recoms and crew tucked away in the hull of the ship to catch some sleep. The air was still aside from the critters going about their business zipping through the air or the occasional scampering of something in the woods far off beyond the ship's pier. Despite the deep ache to run towards freedom as you looked at Sylway, who had perched herself for slumber, you hugged your knees from the sting in your eyes, a lone tear crawling down your cheek, tail furling. Ears then flicked to the oncoming sounds of a grunt and shuffling behind you. Part of you wished it was Spider, but you knew those footsteps with the heavy thuds atop the spacious roof of the ship’s bridge, only part of the ship that gave you some semblance of privacy, belonged to someone else.

"You found a good hiding spot," Miles' voice reached through the endless silence that had settled long ago.

Your stomach lurched as you tried to contain your emotions with tears begging to trample forward over the ravine. It was hard to look at him, heart jumping in response to his presence nearing to where you sat. He was so close yet it felt like he was far away where you could not reach him. You yearning to be at his side faded into sorrow. Mourning for what could have been if things were different. Mourning for what could still come to pass if you caved selfishly and said fuck it all.

“I couldn’t find you when we were debriefing. I could’ve used your input...”

You sneered, "Just your box of secrets to exploit whenever you please."

“Don’t make this difficult. We both knew this would have to happen to weed out Sully.”

Enough rage was flowing through your body that you hadn’t realized how quickly you stood up.

“Did you actually care!? Or would you have kept me collared all along like a good pet until you’d find the time to discard me and Spider when you were done with us!?”

Your words struck a chord in Miles causing his tempter to rise and piss out his mouth, like the jarhead he was, not thinking why he let the bitterness flow effortlessly as he spoke.

“You think I care about some kid!? We ain’t even the same species!”

Blood boiled and ran hot through your veins triggering a reflex you didn’t know you could possess. You swung your hand to slap him, but he caught your wrist midair, clasping it hard enough to leave a mark.

"Don't try me, woman!” he spat with venom. "I could have you down cold in a heartbeat!"

Yanking yourself from his vice, you laughed mechanically. It was unnatural and forced as you dwelled in the irony, the burn of your wrist still fresh as you rubbed the pain.

"You're right—" you meet Miles' stare with equal fierceness, tears wiggling along your vision "—you could take me right here, right now, in front of everyone—” your arms spread wide open “—and there'd be nothing I could do about it.”

Then you clutched the device on your neck and jingled it loudly in front the Colonel, pointing out the obvious truth to his statement. You were a dog. Nothing you did since Ardmore strapped this bloody thing on you has been free will. And it tore your guts up knowing you had still fallen for the Marine bastard anyway.

Miles’ eyes widened when it became clear what his words meant, aggravation causing his jaw to tighten when he grasped that he had been stupid and blind. Not once did he have to use the collar for his advantage. Not once. But it was still there waiting and smiling for him to indulge. Shoving a hand in his pocket, he brought out the device to your collar and hit a button.

Everything moved slower as you absorbed the clanking noise hitting the roof below.

Your raging temper rapidly smoothed itself into a calm stream of clarity.

Free.

You were free.

Fingertips with a featherlike touch, careful and unsure, hovered where the bulky collar should have been to then finally press along your exposed skin, breathing shallow and overwhelmed. It felt strange for your mind to process but your heart raced. Then your senses came to with the loud drumming of Miles’ steps. He hunched over and snatched the circular device.

“I don’t want your loyalty bought!” he shook the collar in your face before chunking it over the bridge, landing somewhere forgotten on the dock.

Within, your gut screamed at you to keep your feet still but you were at your breaking point. Lungs felt like they were filling up with something hot, like you’d float away if you didn’t get fresh air despite being outside. Your face displayed fear, yet something else was being calculated behind your look. Miles’ brow drew close as he put together what you might do next, silently pleading for you not to do it.

But you were off and skipping down the human stairways with great thumps as you sprinted to Sylway with only one instinct playing through your every fiber: run.

"Motherfu-" Miles whispered irately to himself while he bounced down and ran to Cupcake, taking off into the night sky after you.

Your heart raced, exhilarated by being in the air. It felt wrong to run, almost like a betrayal, but you wanted to flee for so long that you didn’t recognize yourself in this moment as running.

Miles then appeared beside Sylway, causing her to screech, Cupcake batting her wings harshly to keep up with your Ikran’s crazed flying as you desperately searched for anywhere to be safe.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" you yelled across the loud thunder of wind passing your body.

But the Recom held firm, not knowing if he had lost his goddamn mind or kept up because he didn’t want you to hurt yourself as you flew like crazy over the giant waves roaring below.

You got excited when you noticed a giant fracture that split up the side of a mountain, banking hard to enter the fissure. Sylway passed under the thick vines that hug down the rocky opening, the walls of the tunnel humming as you made your way deeper into the cavernous heart.

Inside, bioluminescent spores and other huge fungi covered the long columns of the stones jutting up to the dark ceiling above. You hid behind one just in time as Miles flapped into the cave moments behind you. While the disturbed air stilled, glowing speckles from the plants floated down to cover you and Sylway.

Then a voice rang out to you in the darkness.

“(Y/N)!” Miles hollered.

“Please, I know today was—” he inhaled deeply “—not a clean search like the rest…it was fucked up.”

He felt awful for not being able to fit the right words together.

“I—” he halted again, cussing himself out.

How could he say sorry? He justified his actions because it was in his entire DNA, the only reason he’s alive, to hunt down Jake Sully. But was it worth it if it meant losing you? Something tugged low in his chest as he thought about how he was possibly talking to no one in these caves, that you had lost him – that he was alone.

With nothing left to lose, he exhaled just above a whisper, “Please come back to the ship.”

Please come back to me.

Your face twisted with sadness as you listened to his tired plea. Defeated and lost, you revealed yourself by Sylway’s flapping and readying for flight, the lustrous dust kicking off her wings.

When in the air and outside the mountain, your heart slowly began pulsing normally, so you landed on a beach and hopped from your Ikran, Miles not too far behind leaving his own mount. Your legs plodded through the sand without a destination in mind still feeling the need to get away.

"Now where're you going??"

"I don’t know!” you fling your arms in the air “—just away! Away from you! Away from everything!”

"I know you can't run away from the kid! He needs you!"

"Oh, and like you can't take care of him yourself!? You need mommy's help?"

"Quit acting stupid!"

Miles grabbed your elbow and roughly shoved you around, to which you pushed him away.

"LEAVE ME!" you screamed harshly to then whimpered, tears flooding your vision and dampening your cheeks. "What you’re doing—what you did to those people was wrong!”

"I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU!"

You were taken aback as he snapped, but he wasn’t angry, he was confessing.

“Jake Sully is my mission, but they put a fucking noose around your neck and a chip in the kid’s mask! I had—I can’t just do nothing!”

“But Ardmore doesn’t give a crap about you or the others! You’re just fodder to her!”

“Fucking Christ—” Miles turned and rubbed a hand over his face. He wanted Jake defeated. That was his whole purpose. He tried to alter his decisions subtlety when the General couldn’t see, but this war coming to a head was inevitable. Taking a deep breath, he returned to facing you.

"You can run away. I know you fucking hate me. But please come back, at least for the kid."

Your palms covered your nose and mouth, eyes wrinkling shut hard in an attempt to stop the flow of tears. Could he not see that he was being fooled? The RDA didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything.

This was too much. You faced your back to the Marine and gazed heavenward.

Why did Eywa put you here?

Then quietly on a shaky breath, you said, "I would've followed you into the fire if it meant keeping Spider safe... if it meant keeping you safe."

Miles perked at your hesitant voice, edging him to step closer.

"My loyalty… it was never bought—” you could feel his breath on your neck “—not for you.”

A pressure weighed against the back of your head when Miles’ crown gently leaned into your hair. No words needed exchanging.

You inched your body around until you were face to face with the Colonel.

Then you connected lips.