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bonesandthebees · 1 year ago

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GODDDHFJSKAJDJFKFKJSKFKFJFJF I FINISHEDDD I'll probs do a reread and do a proper review bc I didn't get a chance to write down my thoughts while reading through the first time but eueuudufvjjsjdd I'm so emotional that was the perfect fucking ending for glass bee oh my gosh :(( 🫶🫶🫶

They mean sm to me I feel so ougohuhohigihoh

I love your fics so much man they're genuinely so incredible and I think they're the most unique this fandom has ever seen. Like glass and stars are both sooo<333 the world building?? The plot and conflicts?? Idk it's just crazy to me that we get to read this shit for free it's fuckign professional level writing bee. Thank you so so much for sharing it with us 🫶🫶🫶 I'm so lucky that it's a part of my life bc it genuinely is one of my fav things in it

You have a way of making me feel satisfied when I read your fic endings. Like. I hate it when stuff ends shfjfkf it's a problem of mine. I normally like will refuse to read/watch an ending bc I don't want it to end and also a lot of times??? I will just. Not like the ending. Either bc it's shit or the fact that it is an ending, but with your fics?? They've always been fucking amazing. I mean shfjgkf it def helps that there's another fic ur writing that I can read after this one's over, but for the actual ending part?? You write it so well man. It always ties up everything super nicely but not in like?? An unrealistic way where ur like "well that's just Too convenient". Like there's still enough of a question where the readers can leave it up to interpretation and come up with their own ideas, but all the major plot points are resolved and they all come together so nicely too?? And the last line is Always a banger. Ur so cool bee. Whenever I read the end of ur fic, I will literally smile bc im just like "aw man that's perfect" I SMILE!!! THAT'S CRAZY FOR ME NORMALLY IM SAD ITS OVER but with ur writing it's just like "damn holy shit that was perfect" rahhhssss I fucking love your writing Bee so so much

God and just... Glass is such a unique story too. Like ?? Cyberpunk religious trauma story?? Literally nothing I'd ever consume. I'm not the biggest fan of cyberpunk (I don't dislike it it's just not my preferred stuff to read) and as an agonistic person with religious trauma I normally avoid reading anything to do with religion LMAOODOFJFK (tho I've actually been trying to be more openminded and learn about all the diff types of religions and stuff) so I honestly was like "huh not sure what to expect from this fic but. It's bee so" And LORD I fucking??? Loved this fic??? So much??? Like I got so invested and I honestly really enjoyed the religious aspects of it a lot. It was such a fascinating topic like philosophy wise man. And oughhhfsjfk the way you used Wilbur vs Pronouns vs Pythia was genius. Like. That's such a creative tool to use?? Makes me appreciate writing sm. U just can't get this stuff in visual forms like tv/movies. It's just really neat seeing all the ways u play around with writing. It's super cool and impressive

Whenever I read ur writing it makes me feel like a smarter person tbh like. Just the way I turn my brain on to digest what you've written it's SOOO nice

And I am especially excited for rose bc I feel like my brain is gonna go haywire in that one too ehehehe also look at me go, finally reading a mcd fic (no literally bee. I haven't even read Passerine bc it's major character death. But I'm reading it for u. ^-^)

LORDDDFJFJ okay I gotta go do my french quiz now . And then I'll read rose ch2 BUT JUSR !!!!!!! UR AMAZING BEE !!!!! LOVE U AND UR WRITING SM !!!! TY FOR BEING EPIC ❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶

awww thank you icy <3 this is so kind. I just love writing and always have, and it means so much that I have a supportive audience like you guys who are willing to read my silly stories

I'm so glad you like my endings. I always try to end my stories in just the right spot, when it feels like everything that needs to be said has been said while still leaving things open for the readers to imagine what comes next. I don't have super specific criteria for my endings, I just go with my gut on what feels right and it's worked out pretty well so far.

it makes me so happy that you took a chance on the kind of story you'd never normally read just because it was mine. I knew glass was a pretty unique concept because you don't usually see cyberpunk combined with those kinds of themes, so I was definitely a bit worried how many people would tune in for it. but I was so happy to find out that so many of you guys were willing to check it out because it was mine. like that seriously means so much to me to hear. I had such a fun time exploring those themes and emotions.

when I decided to do the pythia vs wilbur narration thing it felt like I was taking a huge risk. I was very worried that it would turn a lot of readers off to the story, but when I thought about the impact it could have as a format choice I knew I had to do it even if I lost some readers because of it. I really love experimenting with my writing and trying out new things, and as I'm sure you've noticed by now I have a particular affection for themes surrounding names and the power they hold. so it just felt like such a perfect way of diving into themes surrounding names while also getting a chance to experiment with format in a way I hadn't done before. I'm so glad it paid off well.

it means a lot that you're going to stick with under the hanging rose when you don't normally read MCD. I can't promise you won't be sad, but I can promise the MCD I have planned isn't going to be cheap or just angst fodder. it'll be narratively satisfying (or unsatisfying but in an intentional way lol)

thank you for all the love you give me icy this made me so happy to read <3 so glad you enjoyed

#ask #icyfox17 #through a glass divine

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divafm · 5 years ago

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* 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 ! i am beyond excited to be a part of this group & to write with all of u legends . i am 𝐤𝐨𝐝𝐲 , currently residing in hell angeles aka the pst timezone . i go by feminine pronouns , but u can also refer to me as garbage . under the cut , i will be introducing u to my broadway baby . if any of ya’ll are interested in getting a lifetime of affection from me , & possibly a plot , please give this post a 🖤 & i’ll be on my way .

❛ ✶ ( ariana grande , cisfemale , she/her ) spotted ! chantel demonté was spotted singing along to moon river by audrey hepburn in hilton grove . you’ve heard of them right ? they are a twenty - three year old broadway actress & musician who has already amassed a net worth of $120m . you should really follow them on insta @chantel , they’re about to hit 60m followers . the tabloids have been calling them the prima donna because they are known for being + perfervid but also a bit - sycopantic . though most people recognize them by bambi eyes twinkling with ambition , the saccharine scent of chanel n°5 , glossy lips curled coquettishly , cherubic features radiating naiveté , & breakfast at tiffany’s .

* ◞ 𝐢 . ⤻ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. chantel satine demonté . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬). chanti , princess , baby , etc . 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞. august second , a leo . 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡. milan , italy . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. undetermined . 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. an esteemed broadway actress , having the productions of wicked , funny girl , west side story , hairspray , etc . under her belt . her talents extend further as a musician , with an ariana grande voiceclaim , having only sweetener , yours truly , & certain singles ( ex . adore , quit , etc . ) in her discography at the moment . lastly , a part - time model . with her rise to fame , & she’s been plastered on a variety of pages in a magazine , including cover shoots . 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. american . 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲. italian , french . 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐧. catholicism , not practiced . 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬. english , italian & french . 𝐡𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞. slytherin . 𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬. ballet , piano , acting , makeup , cheerleading , song writing . 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨. rachel berry glee , betty cooper riverdale , cassie howard euphoria , monica geller & rachel green hybrid friends , amy march little women , nancy wheeler stranger things , kelly kapoor the office .

* ◞ 𝐢𝐢 . ⤻ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬 .

a baby girl , blessed of cherubic features , was born during the summer season in milan , italy , which is very much known to be the global capital of fashion & design . her mother , donatella demonté , is a prominent fashion designer whose name is not only regarded in the streets of europe , but across the globe . her designs & level of popularity is akin to versace , in which we are all incredibly familiar with . the girl’s father , stefan demonté , is an intuitive & magnetic man , who is notable in the medical field for being one of the most dependable surgeons in the world . his patients whom undergo his procedures experience soaring success rates & is described as a modern asclepius . two of the most eminent beings among the planet intended on extending their prosperity & influence onto their successor , chantel satine demonté .

at the age of six years old , it was decided that the family would relocate from europe & into the united states . specifically , settle on the island treading the east coast , in sun - drenched hilton grove . it was baffling to the young brunette at the time , considering she was foreign to american ideology & its citizens . she fret on being acquainted with her peers , as well as wondering if she will begin to feel homesick for her native country . as means of introducing her to her potential talents & aiding her in establishing a social presence , donatella inserted the girl in a variety of extracurricular activities , while also enrolling her in the best private school in the area . it was apparent from the moment she melodically verbalized in her infancy that she was destined to be a vocalist . whenever music was in the atmosphere , her features would brighten & a coo of delight would emit from her . this passion for music led to her involvement in ballet , as a means of expressing herself not only vocally but physically . it taught her great diligence , & was the prelude to the many pursuits she would acquire .

by the time she was in her senior year of high school , the damsel had blossomed into the prodigy in which her parents aspired her to be . during her four years , she had been part of a majority of the clubs organized on campus , including drama , speech & debate , french , etc . she received the highest scores in her class alone , maintaining a 4.0 gpa while also dedicating herself to cheerleading , exuding not only school pride , but pride within herself . by this length of life , she had been so immersed with musical theatre , that it was apparent that her dream entailed performing upon the broadway stage & becoming the contemporary barbra streisand . every morning to every evening , she envisioned belting her heart out upon that stage , utterly absorbent to the applause & standing ovations to the crowds , all enchanted to see her . once chantel had a goal , it was nearly impossible to keep her from reaching it , whether it is landing the lead in some school production or landing the part of fantine in the broadway production of les misérables . once she had graduated , she did not mourn over the conclusion of what would be her adolescence . in fact , she embraced what would be the commencement of the first act to reaching her fantasy .

* ◞ 𝐢𝐢𝐢 . ⤻ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭 .

tw ﹕ eating disorder , depression .

upon her arrival to broadway , she accumulated a huge amount of success & recognition from it over the years . however , around last year , the innate perfectionist had unknowingly begun to decline , both in her health & mentality . gradually , she had adopted certain habits , that involved a decrease in her food intake & lack of rest . every minute of every hour she was rehearsing , pirouetting , or tending to other obligations . already being so petite in nature , the reducing pounds had a dramatic impact upon her figure , in which she would conceal with oversized garments as means of keeping others from noticing . though , inevitably , those in her life began to express their concerns for the girl , who could not have appeared more exhausted & had been avoiding being around others as means of preventing them from noticing her apparent starvation .

it wasn’t until a rehearsal on one afternoon that the brunette had an abrupt collapse on stage due to complete malnourishment & exhaustion . the auditorium almost instantly echoed of gasps , as her fellow cast members & the crew a sea of utter revelation . the instrumentals had ceased , & there were several of her crew members sprinting towards the platform to get the girl immediate medical attention . in a matter of several minutes , she was carried off stage & immediately ushered to the hospital . an understudy swiftly covered the role for the show scheduled of that evening , as well as the consecutive shows that followed .

it had taken only two hours for the dismaying news to be phoned to her parents , who had frantically dropped everything in that moment to go & visit their only daughter , whom had been laid upon a hospital bed with her frail , gaunt frame covered with a patterned gown . the following morning , she had woken up , & was absolutely devastated . not due to the state of her health , but the fact that she didn’t get to perform that evening , & that an understudy would now be in her place . she frantically sputtered to her guardians that she has to return to continue the following shows , attempting to pull herself off from the mattress though was immediately pressed to settle onto it once more . she persisted , insisting with heavy strain in her voice that she was okay before succumbing , fragile sobs emitting from her as tears stream endlessly upon her features . it was a rarity for the girl to feel a sense of defeat , though when she had , it was not dealt with ease .

that summer , her parents had no other choice than to situate her to the most discreet rehab facility , one that was remote to prevent the chances of her being seen or followed by the press . she spent four months , completely abstained from communication with the outside world . to give the impression that things had been proceeding normally , her publicist would run the girl’s socials while she was away , equipped with a variety of photos to post & blurbs that resonated to her persona .

since her return to hilton grove , she has returned with a nourished composition , a glowing complexion , & a clearer conscience with intent on focusing to write & produce music during her break period from broadway . she is still the same , driven & overbearing primma donna who has goals that are intended to be achieved . she absolutely refrains from speaking of the incident , as no one but her parents truly knew the situation & the severity of it . the way in which things were covered up remains suspicious to many , baffled by the actresses sudden hiatus from the broadway stage . those who ask how her summer was spent , she described it as a very much needed retreat to the tropics , & how the vacation went pleasantly . she is utterly ashamed with what had happened , & would be entirely devastated if the truth were to come out . it would indefinitely tarnish her name , regardless if she were to receive pity or consolation . the last thing she would want is to come across as weak willed , or appear as some sort of failure . in spite her body returning to its healthy condition , her mind still seems to be riddled of melancholy . she feigns it with a winsome smile , or preoccupies herself as a means of distraction , & is content from time to time though it is all fleeting . however , being the superb performer that she is , no one is able to suspect a thing .

* ◞ 𝐢𝐯 . ⤻ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚 .

chantel , for the most part , is a benevolent being . she is wise beyond her years , extremely ambitious , & exudes passion into every aspect of her life , whether it’s performing on stage or in her day to day happenings . in spite being born into a family of prosperity , she maintains a humble conscience & rarely takes much in her life for granted , knowing there are others who are not fortunate . she is an enthusiast of material goods , though you will not likely hear her brag about them . she tends to boast about her accomplishments , if anything . in a high society where betrayal & deceit play a constant role , i assure you that chantel is one of the most loyal people you could meet . surely , she will have her slip ups , but will always make up for it in the end & do what’s right , given her moral code . if you are a friend , family member , or even a lover ; she will go to the ends of the earth to see you smile , as she cares so deeply for those important to her . more often than not , she puts another person’s well being before her own , & even if she is being mistreated , she will make excuses or give the benefit of the doubt as she tries to see the best in others .

while she does exhibit favorable traits , i will have to mention a few detrimental ones . although she , on numerous occasions , comes off extremely narcissistic , deep down she too can be incredibly insecure . as marina & the diamonds once said , ‘ i feel like i'm the worst , so i always act like i'm the best . ’ being the perfectionist that she is , it’s very rare for her to genuinely feel satisfied with much of anything . no matter how many flattery remarks she is given , she always believes she could be better . she overexerts herself so much , & not many take notice of this . she sometimes wishes someone would tell her that she is good enough , that she doesn’t always have to prove something to herself or to others . she also can be quite naive , in the sense of taking chances on certain things or certain people that may not be in for her best interest . there is also a sense of delicacy to her , where she will put on a secure facade , though behind closed doors will often shed tears . that being said , she can be a sensitive , though she doesn’t like to show it since the last impression she would want to give is that she is weak .

an utter hopeless romantic ; disney films , specifically cinderella & sleeping beauty , were her shit when she was a little girl & still to this day . she would sit before that screen & marvel at the idea of finding her very own prince charming . this soon transitioned to being an absolute romance film / rom - com junkie , these films being her lifeline aside from musicals . however , she was struck with a heavy dose of reality after her first heartbreak in junior high , & all the heartbreaks that followed . despite her heart being crushed at every corner , this still hasn’t deterred her from the concept of love . it makes excellent inspiration for her music , & there’s no feeling that can come close to being in love , or being heartbroken . she is absolutely the type to be greeted with a set of eyes from across the room , from a handsome suitor whom could possibly be a stranger , & she would declare to her own ears : ‘ i am going to marry him . ’

* ◞ 𝐯 . ⤻ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

while i would eventually like to do a separate post for wcs , if time permits it , for now i’m just going to list a few i have in mind . ya’ll can totally pick from this list , make up a plot of our own , or just totally go the chemistry route ! i am so down for any & everything . 🖤

𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩. the more , the merrier . there’s no such thing as having too many friends . quite honestly , she needs them . any type of friend falls under this category ﹕ ride or die , childhood friends , family friends , good or bad influence , unlikely friends , etc .

𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. don’t necessarily get along , but don’t hate each other either . maybe they find one another annoying 99% of the time , yet still are in each other’s company ?? nothing too complicated .

𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. cannot fucking stand each other , that it genuinely makes me laughofjfgovfgjb . chantel feels compelled to choke them the moment they walk into the room . she can have plenty of these .

𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬. chantel is an only child , so she never had a sister or brother figure to turn to . can be super endearing , & i would just love it .

𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬. this girl has probably had the tiniest crush on anyone at some point . could be former , present , future ?? could be mutual , could absolutely not be mutual ; i’ve imagined it’s happened plenty of times .

𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐬. rarely ever do her unrequited crushes become an actual relationship . but , when they did , maybe they didn’t exactly end well or maybe they did ! totally up for discussion as to how & why it just didn’t end up working out .

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , twelve , thirteen , fourteen , fifteen , sixteen , seventeen , eighteen , nineteen , twenty .

literally anything else .

#this is longer than ur man's d*ck but we out here !#if it's hard to read on my blog then u can add /mobile to the end of the url !#but ily all & can't wait to write with u 🖤#tw: eating disorder #tw: depression #hilton:intro

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phoenotopia · 5 years ago

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2019 October Update

Woops, I slipped by my stated blog date since I thought September had 31 days for some reason. So here's the end of September update, 1 day late.

--------------------------

Writing... And more writing.

That captures the majority of what transpired the last 2 months. The biggest cutscenes have been scripted as well as most towns, so we're really close... I estimate that the writing will conclude within the next 3 *weeks* and we will actually have a game that can be played from start to finish... Don't get too excited though, because then begins the game's vigorous playtesting phase and more polish. And since I've never launched a commercial game before, the next steps (PR, marketing, lot checking, ESRP rating application, trailers recutting, release date finding, etc) are uncharted territory. The only experience I have is launching a flash game 5 years ago, and that was a lot quicker and a lot less complicated... And so, I can't gauge how long it'd take nor give an accurate release date yet. However, as soon as I do know, it'll be sure to post it here first!

--- COMPUTER BROKE DOWN ---

Among the events that transpired in the last 2 months, my computer actually broke down. It would manifest as the computer shutting off about 10 minutes after turn on. And this was really worrisome because if my computer croaked, it would be a huge blow to the game's development. The time it would take to restore the specific dev environment I had set up would be considerable...

Luckily, it was repaired after 4 days of intense troubleshooting. I'll spare you the long list of events that transpired, but eventually my brother and I were able to narrow the problem down to non-spinning fans on the graphics card. I was able to zippo-tie two chassis fans together, and insert them below the Gfx Card's heat sink. Much cheaper than replacing the whole graphics card!

(please hold until the game's done)

--- MORE PLAYTESTING CHANGES ---

I'll discuss here some additional fixes/changes to the game based on my brother's previous playthrough (still going through that list, heh...)

F. Remember you can climb roots

I remember from a public demo I attempted (3 years ago?), that a lot of people got stuck at these roots, not realizing they could be climbed. Since then, we did a few things to ensure that the first encountered roots would be climbed. The roots' colors were brightened so they would stand out. A character, Ernest, comments that others have climbed the roots. And finally, standing in front of the roots will cause the "Press UP" tutorial prompt to appear.

So how did my brother fare when I did the playtest 2 months ago? He climbed the roots, thankfully. He climbed the next few sets as well. However, later on, in a dungeon, he forgot that climbable roots were a thing. Back to square one. So there's a lesson here... Even if you teach a player something, there's no guarantee that it'll stick.

So in the picture above, you can see my next attempt at an invisible hand to remind the player. In the red circle, notice there are 4 blue dots. These blue dots pulsate wherever there are climbable roots (They're a lot more visible in motion). The idea is to tie an unusual image to an action. I anticipate when the player sees 4 pulsating dots, they'll react by attempting a variety of actions, before eventually concluding that you can only climb them. And that this experience will be more memorable for it - to be conjured up whenever the player sees 4 blue dots. I look forward to observing what happens with the next blind playtester. (Btw, in reading this blog, you have disqualified yourself from playtesting :P)

G. Instant Food Eating

As stated in a previous blog post, the player can't eat from the menu. Food must be eaten in real-time. It's up to the player to find a safe spot to eat, away from interruptions. Some foods can be eaten more quickly, proving more valuable in a fight.

However, what about on the world map?

You can't use tools or items on the world map, which means no healing at all! I saw my brother opening the menu and tinkering around, confident that it could be done. Because why couldn't you?

Indeed... he didn't say anything, but I wrote it down as a feature to be added. And after adding it, found that eating from the menu was fun! After years of using the new system, to have the old flash system's implementation of healing again was refreshing.

And so I decided to add it as a possible new characteristic of food. There's now a special class of food, "candy", that actually can be used from the menu (world map or no). Rest assured, candy items will be balanced - costing more than regular food, and their healing effects will tend to be less than other more timely items.

(the “eat” subcommand appears for "candy" class items. The candy icon on the bottom-right denotes a candy class item)

H. Fishing Hud finally updated

This wasn't something discovered through playtesting, more of an unfinished task that sat around for far too long.

(Old fishing hud on left. New fishing hud on the right)

In the old fishing hud (perhaps an example of minimalism taken too far), the fish's health is represented by 10 white dots. In the new fishing hud, the fish's health lines up and mirrors the player's own stamina. Whoever outlasts the other wins!

I had actually been sitting on the finalized graphics for over a year. For some reason, the last 10% implementation of a feature tends to be the most boring. In game development, I find myself jumping around often, working on whatever can catch my interest. That's good for ensuring that the game's development is always moving forward in *some* capacity. But now at the tail end of development, only the most boring tasks are left...

--- WRITING ---

So I mentioned writing. One of the things written in the last 2 months was the entirety of the "monster" village's NPCs. This time I also roped in Pirate (formerly artist, now also writer), since she's quite familiar with their lore having drawn them and their town.

When I wrote trolls, I wanted to give them a unique speech, not unlike the Mr. Saturns from Earthbound. My idea was to capitalize all words and then strip away as many unnecessary words as I could, while keeping the meaning identical.

Pirate then took the result and improved upon it, establishing rules their language could follow to be consistent:

Simplified negatives (no instead of not/don’t/can’t/etc);

Object pronouns replace subject, possessive and reflexive pronouns (me/name instead of I/my/mine/myself).

No ‘be’ verb or it’s conjugations (am, is, are).

No verb conjugation.

No articles.

(A sample of troll language. Harpy language is similar, but no caps, and a few other variations.)

Another neat thing that happened naturally over the past two months was a construction of a "timeline". The timeline takes the form of a 2D chart, with the major players lined up on the left, and the years up top. There are new characters this time around, and having the timeline as a reference, helps to make sure the lore is on point.

(the timeline, blurred. An internal tool to aid writing)

--- FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY ---

Speaking of which, it was the game's 5 year anniversary this past August 20th. Thank you to Firana for reminding me!

Five years... Five Years... T_T (I thought I'd be done by now)

It'd be neat to do a longer in-depth retrospective on this game's long development, but I'll wait for the game to be properly finished first.

--- FAN ART ---

We have 3 lovely fan arts that came in the past 2 months.

(Art by Amaury Lorin)

I like how this picture selectively colors the night sky, comet, and fire. Very artistic! Amaury also submitted a poem (in French). Here it is!

Parmi cette clarté que la nuit seule émet, Au-dessus des radis géants qui s'épanouissent, Nonobstant sans souci les herbes qui frémissent, Sous un ciel calme et sombre, un village dormait.

Éprise de liberté, une puki part Là-bas, quelque part où des prés plus verts la tenant. "Oh, s'écrie un enfant, une étoile filante!" Veille, enfant : pour tes grands yeux curieux seuls, ce soir,

Indifférente au sol précipité sur elle, L'étoile tombe... Écoute, enfant, elle t'appelle; L'étoile : "Suis-je un ange, un messager du ciel?

Avec mes feux, suis-je augure, ou suis-je étincelle? Gloire d'un monde haut, d'une nuit éternelle... Et j'arrive!" --Dors, enfant, tes yeux ont sommeil...

...mais demain...

(Art by LittleLys Owo)

Gale smiling and flashing the peace sign. Nice! I like the skillful use of vectors to draw the lineart.

(Art by Shafiyahh)

Shafiyahh, who also drew fanarts in the last update, returns with this cool picture of Gale sporting the katana, a hidden weapon that... JK. I Love the composition of characters, and the flashy background - very anime-esque!

That's all for now. Next update will come at the end of November!

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twilit-tragedy · 7 years ago

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Get to know me tag! Tagged by @random-hylian thank youuuu <3 Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people nah

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: to my mom / from one of my best friends 3. Text message: to a friend / ex-boyfriend 4. Song you listened to: It was on shuffle, but I’m pretty sure it was “Six Who Are Strong Are Stronger” from the Haikyuu soundtrack 5. Time you cried: I was about say “I can’t remember”, but it was actually on June 12th HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: I guess so 10. Been depressed : yup

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no fortunately haha

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, sea blue, light green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope (still in it oops)

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: umm no?

19. Met someone who changed you: no

20. Found out who your friends are: yes they’re great people as I always knew they were :*

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: probably my best friend

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95%. I’ve deleted a bunch of people I just knew from school corridors, so now there’s only actual friends and the family members I’m stuck with

23. Do you have any pets: Yep. Two cats, an unknown number of fish, and a bird

24. Do you want to change your name: I remember not liking the sound of my name (and I still kind of don’t) but it’d be too much trouble

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out with my best friends to a “park” and then we went to my house and ate cake. Super chill. Too bad there were praxes (google it) going on at the park

26. What time did you wake up: 10AM. sweet, sweet summer vacation

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Texting my friend in a weird giggly mood

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Idk, something new. Even college

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 or so minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My living arrangements

31. What are you listening to right now: Unfortunately, the beeping of a truck just outside my house. What are you doing here, go away

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes! It was his new name after coming out

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Mom, and my health

34. Most visited website: I would say tumblr or youtube, but it’s probably my email cuz I’m always waiting for updates or notifications on various things

35. Mole/s: Many. Many many many many many. My genes + the sun here are one hell of a combination

36. Mark/s: umm besides the scars from skin picking, I believe I have some on my legs from childhood

37. Childhood dream: a doctor

38. Hair color: Dark brown

39. Long or short hair: I guess it’s mid-length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yup! A big, fat one

41. What do you like about yourself: about my personality? umm, well I’m patient and a good listener. Otherwise I like my singing ability (sometimes I find my voice annoying but that might be because I never shut up)

42. Piercings: I’m a tattoo-over-piercing person, and though maybe I wouldn’t mind a couple, I only have earring 1 hole in each ear

43. Blood type: Oh, oh, oh! 6 months ago I would’ve said “I’ve no fucking clue”, but after a Biology lab, I found out it’s O+

44. Nickname: Nini or Dani or a bunch of inside jokes with my friends haha

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: Virgo

47. Pronouns: she/her is cool

48. Favorite TV Show(s): Oh boy, TV? I don’t know, I don’t watch TV regularly anymore and I’m terrible at keeping up with what I like and is airing?? I used to watch mostly FOX and AXn so I guess you can figure it out from that. Oh, but when I was on vacation last week there was a creepy police show in French airing on Portuguese TV and it left me intrigued so I’ll try to remember to finish watching it!! It’s called Les Témoins which I assume was translated to English as “Witnesses”

49. Tattoos: None, but I want multiple!!

50. Right or left hand: Leftieeeeee :D

51. Surgery: None yet but that’s about to change tomorrow *slightly scared laugh*

52. Hair dyed in different color: nope, I’ll try it someday

53. Sport: My favorites? Humm I liked handball the best, followed by basketball, but recently I’ve learned to like volleyball and badminton. If you’re asking what sport I’ve done, it’s swimming, ballet and karate *shrugs*

55. Vacation: Umm, I’ve passed a bit through Spain to go to France; I’ve travelled fairly little in Portugal itself; I’ve gone to Brazil obvs and Cuba and I think that’s it. Ah, no, I guess Switzerland counts even though that was visiting family

56. Pair of trainers: I am confused, what is this question?? My favorite sneakers are All Stars <3 (Do you call them Converse in English, I have no idea) MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I was straight up eating a downgraded Nutella just before starting this 58. Drinking: Wateeeerrr (but if you’re asking my favorite, I will go to my grave drinking milk) 59. I’m about to: Hopefully finish folding this laundry while watching YouTube and then continue cleaning my room 61. Waiting for: Exam grades to comw out (tomorrow) so the stress can die out a bit 62. Want: an apartment of my own tbh 63. Get married: I guess I’d like to, but it’s so messy I’d have to trust the other someone really well. I wouldn’t mind just living together either 64. Career: Hopefully a biologist, thought my mother is still salty about that

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I raise you: kissing while hugging. Haha I choose hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes <3 67. Shorter or taller: umm I’m mostly different, but taller? 68. Older or younger: for dating? Humm.... I’ve dated either people a year younger or my age *shrugs* I think my age is cool

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: umm, again indifferent or both?? I think I’ll go with stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: ho? I’ll go with BOTH 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship my heart ain’t good for hook-ups 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends tbh. It is a kind of troublemaker similar to me so we have fun fucking shit up together? Is it a troublemaker on a way-too-high scale? Is it a person slightly hesitant (which is fine, I’m a bit too) or it someone super indecisive HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: Umm I’ve tasted it, but never had a glass of my own. Scratch that, I was thinking of whiskey only before I realized vodka is hard liquor as well: YES. I barely drink but black vodka found a spot in my stomach <3 Also, I’ve tried Portugal-specific liquor or Cuban cocktails because well 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Uh I left my glasses in a dressing room last year (they were black and the room was also black, I’m not usually that distracted!!) but I also stepped on my glasses and snapped the lenses out when I was a kid oops 77. Turned someone down: *sigh* yes

78. Sex on the first date: not even close

79. Broken someone’s heart: *sigh* yes, multiple times 80. Had your heart broken: I guess so, but they were nice breakups? 81. Been arrested: no! 82. Cried when someone died: Yep, I broke down in front of the body, it was just great 83. Fallen for a friend: I think I’ve only fallen for friends to be quite honest DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: I sure try! 85. Miracles: ummmm I don’t know ‘-’ I don’t have anything to base my decision on 86. Love at first sight: meh 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: again, I’ve only dated friends. I was probably in super deep already on the first date

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I have three but I’m not naming them, sorry 91. Eye color: Uuummm wait what was it called? I think it’s olive green. Or hazel. They’re brown and green, you name it 92. Favorite movie: real-life I’m not sure because I don’t watch many movies, but animated it’s Prince of Egypt

#fuck that took a long time haha #personal #tagged thingies #thank you for tagging me Erika :*#also it was through that I remembered about your bday I'm sorry >.<

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kivaqblog-blog · 8 years ago

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Migraines, Chelsea, and Class Privilege

tl;dr: I went to Callen-Lorde Clinic yesterday, and they gave me something that fixed my migraines! But quite by accident, I got a close look at some class differences among queers which I normally don't see in person. Details below.

I’d thrown up twice at 2 or 3 am over the last week, and after the second time I’d had enough, as in I couldn’t take another night like that. It turned out that I had a low-grade fever, about 99.7 F. (37.6 C.). Pat, whom I was referred to — hi, Pat! thx! — gave me a pill I’ve never heard of and it worked, finally stopped the pain. I should’ve gone sooner, but I kept trying the tools in my allergy kit. I even went to my acupuncturist. Nothing worked for long.

After she evaluated me, Pat said that I probably have a virus too. Plus allergies, which trigger migraines: she has the same problem and said the warm-cold-warm-freezing weather we're having just makes it worse. I'm glad I went, even though I'll see my doctor, Eunmee, on Monday. Everyone’s on a first-name basis at C-L, which in itself takes away some of the tension around having to go to the doctor. They’re considerate of things that other clinics don't even think of.

A lot of the patients at C-L don’t have private insurance. There was a table out front to help people with it, and a nice young man who seemed mostly bored did ask if I needed insurance help. I smiled and said no, I’m fine, and he smiled and nodded like he knew I’d say that.

There was a big poster saying injectible estrogen is finally available again (some kind of corporate nonsense left thousands without E shots for nearly a year; I use patches, I was lucky). They have pronoun stickers for patients, and put their own pronouns on their ID badges. It’s a nice place, even when the pharmacy gets crowded. Some of us are regulars because we’re trans and are just having our health monitored as we transition. I look forward to my visits, usually, unless I have a migraine. But most people who come there do need medical help because they’re sick, like I did yesterday, and aren’t happy to have to be there.

_______

They said I could see Pat at 1 pm, so I went out to have lunch. I went to the first place I could find, a Le Pain Quotidien (Fr., “daily bread”). Usually I go into an LPQ for a cheese danish. This time I asked for chai and three mini-madeleines. I tried four times to get the young woman behind the counter to call me “ma’am,” but every time I tried, I just got this tilted-head non-response with silly-grin thing, really overdone, by way of a response, as if she not only couldn’t understand wtf I was saying, but was moreover momentarily rendered mute by it. “It’s ‘ma’am,’ actually.” Tilt, grin. “It’s ‘ma’am,’ not ‘sir.’” Tilt, grin.

So finally I directly told her, but she still acted like I was speaking Martian, unless I was ordering or paying for madeleines and chai, ffs. On reflection (I was eating madeleines, after all, and thinking about the past, there’s a Proust reference for French lit fans), I decided she was actually treating me as if I were stupid, and hoping I’d just go away.

I assume she must’ve had some personal reason which overrode all other considerations of courtesy and tact and required her to play dumb about transgender people. Like she’d never even seen one on tv. Which, I understand, has become more and more unlikely in recent years.

At least she stopped ‘sirring' me after the first four times. Which made it clear, on reflection, that she did hear me, and understood me, and knew exactly what I was and what I wanted. Yet she seemed physically unable to either use my proper honorific or explain why she wouldn’t or couldn’t. As if she’d never heard of such a thing. Even though I had long silver hair, was wearing earrings, two pendants, and a shoulder bag.

Which is sort of odd, really, because once they appeared every customer there looked queer, or at least were having lunch with someone queer. As my son said recently of a webcomic about college students, “Assume everyone is gay unless otherwise noted.” This is Chelsea after all, Ninth Avenue and West 16th. It’s where you live if you’re queer and rich.

I took my chai, mini-madeleines, and honorific and sat in the back. I began trying to use my phone’s keyboard to send Kathleen an update, and cursing at it, quietly, as is my wont. I had a migraine, and they come with a bad mood. At least it’s quiet in here, I thought. It was noon.

When I looked up again, there were flowers and condiments on the tables. People were streaming in and were being seated by a waiter. Suddenly the coffee joint turned into a charming little French resto with lots of vegetarian and lactose-free options. I had no idea this would happen, and it looked like they were going to let me finish my chai at my own pace.

But I asked for a menu anyway, on a hunch, and found what I wanted: a croque-monsieur on sourdough. It’s a French ham and cheese sandwich, more or less, toasted, and they served it with three kinds of mustard, one of them a lot like the mustard found on every single table in every café in Paris. I was so happy.

Soon I realized the people to my left were speaking French. The two on my right with MacBooks open were speaking German. There was a sharp corner I sat next to with no room for a table, so I had space to leave my coat and bags where they were on the bench. I wasn’t in anyone’s way.

Then I realized that, except for the one guy in the back with a laptop who looked like a wifi regular, everyone else had poured into this place at high noon. They were lunch regulars.

I was quite surprised. But the croque was great. And of course, I could afford it.

The others, one and all, looked like they could afford this and then some, if you know what I mean. They were there for the French food, and probably considered it a bargain; my croque was $12 plus tip, but it was worth it to me.

I overheard snippets of creativity-related convos, like, “so do you still want to dance?” (as in, do you still want to be a dancer?) They were all well-dressed. They all appeared to be cis. They all appeared to be white.

They mostly appeared to be male, too. I’m not very good at spotting transfolx who are trying to pass and are good at it, but I didn’t see anyone else in there who was overtly gender-variant.

They were all young, or nearly so, cute, fashionable, that sort of thing. I hate to generalize, but I looked around and, jeez Louise, I was surrounded by New York A-List types. People who keep summer houses at The Pines on Fire Island. This is not a world I’ve ever been part of.

Looking back now, it felt like the kind of place that, before transgender rights were added to the city anti-discrimination ordinance, would’ve turned away someone dressed like me, claiming that they were full, or that you needed a reservation, or would’ve made me leave once lunch started. I used to hear stories.

______

And that’s how I accidentally got a close-up look at a self-selected sample of contemporary Chelsea. I felt scruffy, because I hadn’t shaved, and felt generally out of place . No one here had exotic haircuts or lots of tattoos, which tbph are the kind of queers I feel more comfortable around these days. I stopped arguing with my phone over whether “transfolx” is a word and focussed on eating my croque, trying the different mustards. Then I paid with my AmEx gold card and left.

When I got back to the clinic I paid more attention to who appeared to be in which socioeconomic classes, at least visibly, especially people waiting to get a prescription filled or have lab work done. Since it seemed to take the pharmacy a solid hour to put ten pills in a bottle and give them to me — I saw six or eight people called ahead of me, wtf? — I got a chance to consider this at length, pausing to check the time on my phone every three minutes.

By the time it was ready, the school rush had started back in Brooklyn. I was so sick I did something I try to never do: call a Lyft and take a car home from Manhattan. $28 plus tunnel toll = $36, I think. Sitting there in the lobby, fiddling with the pickup location, I realized I was edging back into that other world, the world of queer people who can afford shit like lunch at French restaurants, really nice clothes, and a whiff of attitude, and who take cabs everywhere. I can only afford lunch and cabs occasionally, but it’s still another world, the one I spend most of my time in.

_______

There’s a good chance that none of us would’ve been in that restaurant if there hadn’t been a Stonewall Riot 48 years ago, a gay liberation movement composed of scruffy argumentative activists who would’ve been horrified if you could go back in time and tell them that one result is prosperous queers eating lunch at a place like this. It looked like they were all members or aspired to membership of the most privileged classes in the NYC queer community, all creative types or professionals of some kind, either talking business or taking a break from it. This is Chelsea in 2017: Le Pain Q. is two blocks from Callen-Lorde, but it’s a world away.

It was cold as fuck outside, with high winds, which was my other excuse for calling a car. I watched it approach on the phone, then I left a clinic always full of patients who could never afford to call a car on the spur of the moment, no matter how sick they were, and who would probably never go to LPQ, even to buy a coffee and danish. I got in my little bit of wheeled privilege, paid with my thumbprint, and went back to Brooklyn.

#trans #gender #transgender #class privilege #queer community #migraine

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