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standardquip · 11 months ago

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Heat Guy J Live Reacts

While watching Gungrave I remembered this show existed. Here are a compilation of discord messages I sent while watching the show over the course of ~2 weeks.

Key points: - This just might be an escaflowne AU - werewolves heck yes - better women than gungrave - surprise "tomatoes in anime" research

do I watch Heat Guy J (26 eps, similar to gungrave) or do I watch Black lagoon (29 eps, sexy guns starring a lady) I'm leaning toward Heat Guy J for my grey haired man quota I'm playing Heat Guy J ep 1 now so far the music is good lol kill bill inspired or kill bill was inspired bythis? I don't remember when either of those came out wow the voices are so much cooler sounding in japanese they just sound lame in english but english uses less brain power so I'll deal I'm gonna play all these at 1.5x speed because I'm on a strict schedule wow the cgi in this anime did not age well

I think this show shares a character designer with escaflowne … I might have to get this soundtrack damn this ost is all over the place but in a good way I'm only 12min into the first ep this is crazy ok alan schezar

hey look, it's Chid Freid all grown up

shut up, emo dildandau

also, they call the don of their mafia "vampire" (that's the title of the position) That's pretty neat

I'm pretty sure that's just a simplified bra design but this is the 2nd time she's shown up and all I can think of when I see her is "furry boobs"

this dude [Claire] seriously is dilandau straight up psychotic

werewolf or werecat? Hmmmmm

WHAT prisoners have their dna altered so when/if they escape prison, their faces are altered to look like beasts That is such an INSANE policy who puts sunflowers on a grave wtf

I started Heat Guy J I'm just starting ep 3 Here's my thoughts so far:

Surprisingly way more interesting than I thought it would be

The OST is god tier imo

Character design is very similar to vision of escaflowne

the android design is unique and cool bonus: at least one werewolf

ep4 it is a werewolf hecc yeah

"Have you seen my bunny?" I think I found Van

oh If we take personality into account This guy is actually folken

hot

this irish jig thing they have for the fight scenes is really entertaining

the russian roulette guy is the werewolf And I'm going back on the folken thing He's definitely Van ep5 I think this will be the last one for me tonight

fun times

[someone else says: Heat Guy J episode 1: October 1, 2002. Kill Bill Vol 1 premiere: October 30, 2003 ]

gonna try and get the next 5 eps of heat guy j done starting with ep 6 alright what's with the tomato symbolism in anime this didn't just come out of nowhere in new anime and now it's in heat guy j

[someone says: So Google has no idea why tomatoes I thought there would be like some sort of analysis on tomatoes as a symbolic device in anime ]

No it's probably not that direct like maybe japan exports a ton of tomatoes or something?

like if potatoes show up in some irish show There's a lot of history behind that (because of the potato famine) regardless of how they are actually used in the show There is a reason Just like how english is always saying "oh my god" or why they say "bless you" when you sneeze That seems benign but the reason for it is because english speakers are/were predominantly christian

Nobody's going to write an essay about why english speakers use "oh my god" or "bless you" in mass media It's something ingrained in the culture, so you'd have to look in a different context (different from its connection to why it shows up in tv shows a lot) to find the answer you're looking for

I guess ep 6 is "the stock market episode" oh boy they're really hamfisting the lessons in this one already oh boy they just explained the difference between stocks and commodities they also explained shorts (without calling them shorts)

J just caught a bullet with his BARE HANDS and it wasn't even a special scene or anything IT JUST HAPPENED

WHAT dilandau is like "I don't want you around anymore" to his butler so the butler is like "ok" AND THEN PUTS A GUN TO HIS HEAD FOR SUICIDE that's fucking crazy just leave the organization It was a free pass

ep7

cool he's got a scar now also it was just confirmed that THIS ONE is a cat

Back to tomatoes in anime: https://tasteofculture.com/2023/07/17/tomatoes-in-japan/ not as in-depth as I was hoping for

but my armchair guess is it symbolizes a gaijin making a big change to the culture and succeeding maybe an underdog story that also happens to look pretty

I wonder if this is why the tomato is getting spotlight in new anime https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Science/Japan-approves-gene-edited-super-tomato.-But-will-anyone-eat-it

why do japanese love the tomato so much? :skeptical fry.jpg: https://www.bbcspirits.com/gb/other-alcohols/729-liqueur-japan-la-tomato.html

ok so [person] might be onto something with the "it's just pretty" thing https://www.ishs.org/ishs-article/100_10 this abstract makes it more clear that tomatoes were grown primarily because they were pretty. They didn't start eating them until the 1920s!

starting ep 10 now

alright Let's see if I can get to ep 15 I want to start a different series

ep11 was about mind control You know, it's been awhile since we saw the werewolf guy I wonder if he'll be in ep12

Heat Guy J is way more entertaining than the trailer made it seem but there's no real over-arching plot so I'm kind of bored of it now But not bored enough of it that I am ok abandoning it without finishing HELL YEAH WEREWOLF GUY IS IN THIS ONE oh lame they reused the animation from the other episode 😔

ep13 (yay) if I could finish this series today, that would be cool idk if I can keep focused on it much longer though I actually kind of want to go to bed… :reigensweat: (it's only 6pm here)

Starting ep15 The last one for today oh damn they legit destroyed heat guy j they just gave the main character super lsd

… j will make a full recovery damn plot armor

damn MC's (Daisuke) got plot armor from the super lsd too what a letdown

well ep15 is over and nothing has fundamentally changed I'm going to bed I guess And by "Bed" i mean laying down and browsing reddit on my phone til I fall asleep

ok let's see if I can get through 16 - 20 of heat guy j tonight

ep16 MC's brother, alan with glasses, was shot and is in the hospital. I guess he doesn't have plot armor. Meanwhile, dildandau's organization tries to overthrow him because he's too psychotic I wasn't paying much attention, I'm not sure if it succeeded or not

ep17 continues this plot MC & J leave the city and MC smells clean air and grass for the first time He doesn't like nature smells one random side character is the voice of those toonami music video narrator's (outlaw star narrator?) and it's sooo weird

hell yeah werewolf is back werewolf guy aka van is actually just a deus ex He only appeared for 5 seconds to make plot armor for MC 😩 ep18 MC got fired from the special unit. So he and J are now no longer partners alan is out of the hospital I think MC is going after the gang organization that dildandau used to be head of. is currently head of? It's still confusing

ok looks like dildandau is uhhh not present mentally and is maybe on the run So I guess the coup succeeded lol dildandau's character name is claire rival crime gangs are all after claire because they need his eyes to defeat some retinal scanner to access a ton of gold

J has been re-activated to be the plot armor for MC, who happens to be in the same room as clair currently while this gang war is going on yadda yadda somehow MC got the special unit formed again ep19 MC trying to recruit werewolf to the new special unit oh werewolf history episode yay

werewolf joined them yay ep20 Probably the last one before bed tonight There's 26 eps total, so maybe I can finish it tomorrow ep20 today we learn lightsabers just casually exist in this universe oh There's also an evil clone of J apparently

the evil J is trying to kill the MCs but normal J is nowhere to be found I wonder why that is oh there he is finally J vs J battle has commenced J is so OP evil J is dead now ehhhh let's watch ep 21, then call it some random side character has lost his black cat, named juliet aaaand now he's dead

juliet sees it And with his dying breath, he reaches for the cat "I have to make sure that you get home" Sad surprisingly powerful for random side character who has never shown up before oh wait He has shown up before lmao his name is romeo of course he'd name his cat juliet poor juliet

ok ep21 done bed now finish heat guy j tomorrow hopefully

alright let's see if we can watch the last 5 eps of heat guy j today beginning ep 22 this time the killer machine is A WOMAN! you know, this show has more women than the last one (Gungrave), which is good, but so far every single "evil" woman has been mind controlled meaning apparently women don't have the power to be bad of their own accord So that's kind of weird that it's happened twice now

the mechanic for J is very obviously in love with him I mean it was obvious from the first ep she was introduced but now it's even more obvious This looks like it's going to turn into "the beach episode"

oh shit, the island's owned by sephiroth! 😂

ep 23 There's a reoccuring small girl photographer character. She sells photos from a carriage on the street with a mule. So we start this ep with her carriage (which is also her house) burning to the ground girl is stoic, mom is crying and sobbing Girl says "Darn. I forgot my camera. I bet I could've sold a photo of this to the news for some money"

monica (the girl) now lives with the special squad and she is spitting some straight facts J has agreed to pretend to be monica's dad She is using him as a stage performer so she can get money LOL Now she's using him to gamble haha

so you're telling me that in all the years MC has been carrying this bullet pendant around his neck, he never once tried to open it? give me a break Monica opened it and found a memory card inside which is a thing MC needed to solve a crime anyway, ep24 time woman assassin! is she acting of her own accord though? Let's find out

Turns out MC's brother, Alan (actually named Shun) was the evil one all along! Oh Female assassin is actually J's technician! womp womp and shun just killed her sad trombone.mp3 and now he's controlling J!

oh no.jpg

ep25 begins (second to last episode) claire/dildandau makes a triumphant return, to tell MC his brother is the one behind this! Because MC was too dumb to figure it out himself for some reason rather than MC fighting J, beautiful werewolf deus ex appears out of nowhere and forces J into sleep mode

something weird is happening with alan's voice I'm predicting he is actually an android as well Let's see if this bet pays off dildandau got his organization back

same face syndrome killed me the assassin was shun/alan's assistant, not J's technician time to start the final ep, ep26

this is dumb the anime is too episodic now what do I want to watch next? (even though ep26 is still going on in the background) - High Card - Link Click season 2 - Blood Blockade Battlefront - Grenadier - Noein - Black Lagoon

Currently I am interested in lots of guns and gray haired men idk which is more important so maybe a good 50/50 ratio is perfect 🤔 well if we go in download date order, I should do Black Lagoon next… MC to evil brother: "The only think I'm here to kill… Is your anger" 😂

plot armor is in full effect in this episode now there's fireworks because some random deus ex kills everyone that mattered to the coup evil brother tries to kill himself nothing matters evil brother is not an android sad evil brother does not die and decides to not be evil anymore they gave him amnesty This has less stakes than an MCU movie MC goes on a kino's journey without J series ends super lame I am going to make a very nonsensical decision and start High Card next oh no its japanese with subs only! 😩 I don't want to deal with that right now Guess I'll go with Black Lagoon

I finished Heat Guy J It's too episodic for my tastes Also the plot armor was super thick I have started Black Lagoon I'm on ep9 currently It's much better (Heat Guy J OST was still amazing though) the only thing black lagoon is missing is a silver haired guy

well there's 29 eps... More than enough time for one to show up

#heat guy j #sqreacts #live reacts #heat guy j live reacts #escaflowne au #werewolves #tomatoes in anime

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our-neighbours-cat-is-a-menace · 3 years ago

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Reader making BNHA boys jealous

Boys included: Midoriya, Bakugo, and Dabi,

Midoriya

You are heartless, why would you do this to him

He has always been a caring cinnamon roll to you, always checking if your ok and if you have a bad day, he'll listen to you rant

You never actually seen Izuku get jealous, cause you never give him the reason to, but today some devil (mina) coerced you to prank him

And the devil just had to pick the prank that involves you reminiscing about your ex infront of him

You are currently on your way to his dorm room to spend some time together

When you arrived at his doorstep, he was quick to let you in and give you that heartwarming smile of his

"So what do you wanna do?" he asked, obviously excited to have some alone time with you

"Let's continue watching one piece, let's binge from the wholecake arc to wano" you said, matching his enthusiasm

You guys were currently watching one piece, while big mom's backstory was playing, your phone dinged

You already know it was mina, pestering you about the prank

You were busy typing back at her that you didn't notice izuku already staring at you

"Yn, who's that" he inquired

"it's just mina"

"i see, what did she say?"

You decided this was the moment to start this petty prank

"Oh, she's just talking about how my ex looked hot in his instagram pics" you said, as nonchalantly as possible

"do you think he's hot too?" he asked gently, already not liking where this is going

"huh, oh yeah, he looks hot i guess, i mean he looked good when we were together but i guess he just got another glow up" you said tapping your jaw, acting as if you're reminiscing your memories together

Izuku gently took your hand from your jaw and made you look at him

"i don't like it"

"huh"

" i don't like it when you talk about other guys like that, i know you love me but i can't help and be -"

"jealous" you interrupted, feeling a grin coming to your face

"yeah that" he quickly embraced you, inhaling your scent, loving the way you pat his back

After a minute of just embracing each other, you spoke up about how it was a prank mina told you to do

He quickly propped himself out of the hug and just stare at your stupid grin

God he loves you

Dabi

Seriously where did you have the balls to turn all his invitations down just to go hang out with toga

He asked you for a dinner date, a movie date, a walk in the park, going to the aquarium heck he even invited you to an amusement park

Yet you just always say that you made plans with toga

He had an idea that this was your petty revenge after he turned down your idea of putting him in a maid dress

He needs to preserve his dignity damnit

Toga went crazy in collecting blood while she was in your company and eventhough it's straight up psychotic, who cares

"If you grip that glass any harder, it'll break" shiggy said to the dabi who was from top to bottom irritated

"should i just kill toga" he dangerously said

Shigaraki wants to believe he was just joking but those eyes he has now just screams murder

When you and toga returned home that night, you quickly locked eyes with twice who wasted no time pointing towards Dabi who is gulping down on his 15th glass of booze

Sighing, you went to him, tapping his shoulders to gain his attention and sitting beside him

"so did you have fun?" he asked, his voice lower than my height

He was staring at you like he's gonna strangle you if you gave the wrong answer

"i did" you say grabbing the booze in his hand and gulping it down

"i see, so you had fun with someone else while your boyfriend is just here moping around because his girl decided to decline all his invites" he said, now completely growling at you

You're currently fighting the grin that wanna come out, you are hell as sure that would just add fuel to the fire

"so now, you think this is funny" wasting no time he threw you on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, trudging his way towards his room

"Dabi put ne down"

"no!, if you wanna switch from a dick to a pussy, you should have just said so"

"what the fuck"

Closing the door to his bedroom, he plopped you in between him and the door just towering over you

" you better behave doll"

"if you admit that you were jealous, i might" you teased

Well, that did not go as planned, cause now, you woke up totally wrecked from last nights intense bed training

"was it that hard to admit you were jealous" you shouted smacking the pillow on your boyfriend's face

But he caught it

" to think you still have this much energy, let's start round one again shall we" he said hovering over you again

"nooooooooooooo"

Twice and Shiggy: Awe they made up

Bakugo

Say goodbye to your phone darling

You and him are currently cuddling with his head on your chest while you were playing with your phone

You decided to tick your angry pomeranian so you went to youtube, played a video of constant messages ringtones

Katsuki was just enjoying the moment when your stupid phone decided to ruin it with it's constant message notifications

You acted like you were typing, trying to fool the blonde

He was glaring at you

"Yn, who's that?"

"hmm nobody"

"No nobody would bombard you with messages like that"

"You're just being paranoid"

Not getting through you with words, he quickly moved his hands to grab your phone but you kept it out of reach

Now what could you be hiding

He quickly got himself in position in your bed, ready to tackle the phone out of your hand

It took a agood 2 minutes before he actually got it from your stubborn ass

When he saw that the notification sounds were from a video in youtube, he yeeted it to the opposite part of the room

"WHAAA katsuki, my phone" you immediately tried to stand up but was stop with a pair of arms wrapping around your torso keeping you in place

"it's fine.....probably, go check it later"

He has no intention of letting that one slide, you have to spoon him for like two hours while constantly worried about the state of your phone

You deserve to have a taste of anxiety woman, don't you know how much his heart clenched when he thought you had another guy chatting you up

A/N: This is my first Bnha hc and forgive me for any mistakes and i hope you guys like reading it

Masterlist🌻

#bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha bakugou #bnha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #dabi todoroki #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #mha x y/n #gender neutral mc #izuku x y/n #midoriya fluff

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celestialflamesme · 4 years ago

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| KARMA AND CRAZY MIDGETS | A Venai One-shot Modern AU | Fairy Tail Next Generation |

Ships: Raidyn Dreyar x Venetia Redfox

Dedicated to @primaverafrog @luna-chan00 @biorckstudios18 @animaration-fts @cxndy-stxrs (Lol, I can't believe that no-paragraph breaks worked😂 I fooled Tumblr, y'all!😎😆)

You'd think having a town overtaken by the mafia would make people more apprehensive, if anything. But if Magnolians were anything, they were huge (and he simply could not stress this enough) idiots.

Raidyn prided himself in not partaking in anything Fairy-esque which was more than what he could say about some of his colleagues (Yes, they named themselves Fairy 'Tail' of all things! How no one in this town even got the spelling right was beyond him....)

"Did you hear about Fullbuster and that Fernandez chick? They're together now!" Some red head he'd forgotten the name of (What! It was too late to ask her now!) stage-whispered.

"Who? Storm?"

The entire cafe burst into laughter. "Like Storm would even look at a girl that's not Nashi."

Point proven. They!! were!! on!! first!! name!! basis!! (He bet no one in this room even knew his last name, let alone first. Not that it mattered. He liked slinking in the shadows, although it was practically impossible with his snow-white hair)

Geez, did these people have no lives? They were talking about delinquents for Pete's sake! And ones that sure loved messing up the town in their infamous brawls. But did the people care? Nooooo.

Ugh, one more year and he'd be out of this whacked up place. Wiping a tabletop, he forced a smile on his face and pretended to be interested in the topic.

"Cass, I'll have a black and a burger with fries," a voice interrupted. A voice he was very familiar with.

Did he happen to mention that the most annoying one of them all had made this her hangout spot?

At 5'1, you'd think Venetia Redfox would be the least intimidating person ever. But with crimson red eyes and a Devil-may-care attitude that made up for it, no one dared mess with her. She also caused 75% of the fights in town and had a smirk straight out of a Wattpad Bad-boy fanfic.

Boy, did he hate her.

"You're gonna chip it off with that grip, Blondie."

Oh my god, she did not just-

Raidyn shot her a glare and strode to the back of the register, faintly registering a chuckle (Who the hell did she think she was?) before picking up another order.

Little Miss Redfox however sat at a corner table and continued doing whatever the hell she usually did every Tuesday and Friday for 3 hours in a row (he should know, he was there glaring at her at closing time).

But the kicker this time was, at that moment, her phone rang. You have never really seen your world end right before your eyes if you haven't seen a 5 foot psychotic looking delinquent decked in leather that drove in a motorcycle there by the way (How does one willingly ride on a metallic death-trap like that?!) mumble the words 'Cha cha real smooth' and pick up a call with the most deadpan look ever.

Raidyn almost cried. Almost.

"Are you kidding me? Do it yourself! I swear to God, you always do this shit, Dragneel!" She got up from her seat and walked out, just like she looooved doing smack dab in the middle of her classes back at Magnolia High.

Good riddance.

........

He jinxed it. Karma was such a bitch.

Though no sort of karmic revenge could explain the shit he had to go through that week.

First off, he had 4 assignments due in by the end of the week. And turns out that was the exact week his dear red-head colleague decided would the perfect time for a vacation (It's the middle of September, where in hell's name was she planning to go to?)

Guess who had double shifts now?

This clown.

Ugh. Talk about chivalry and all that loyalty shit.

And yes, of course his car had to break down, and the local bus had to change it's schedule, which left him with his last resort: walking 4 and a quarter miles to school (Oh, he found that out the hard way all right) to college. Nashi and the Fullbuster kid (He sure loved walking around shirtless a little too much) decided to brawl (again) and bam, his locker got caught in the crossfire.

In fact things were so overly shitty that he became skeptical come Thursday when the day seemed relatively normal.

"You've been scowling all week, Dreyar. Anything the matter?"

Raidyn snapped out of his reverie and groaned. "Dad, why not just call me by my name like any normal person would?"

"Because that doesn't build-"

"CHARACTER!! WE GET IT!" His mom, Mirajane mimicked with a scowl. "Well, we're just going to get two Happy meals and then we're off, honey!"

He faintly registered Hunter snickering in the background (How immature. Raidyn wasn't one to get embarrassed by his parents. Plus, none of it would ever compare to the Disco Fiasco of 2001. How else do you think he got his car? Sweet, sweet guilt-tripping....)

The day buzzed past but his suspicions only intensified tenfold. (Call him a pessimist, he didn't care) And like a bull in a China shop, a tiny midget Redfox (the one and only) strut in.

Now, he was behind the counter at that moment handling the red-head (he really ought to learn her name someday) so he didn't notice 5 feet of brute strength that climbed up behind him and dragged him (poor, unsuspecting him) into the supply closet.

Oh no, he was not kidding. The supply closet. Of all the places the perpetrator could've-

The lights flickered on and he screeched (What? Any human would!) at the red irises staring determinedly into his own non-red eyes. (Seriously, were those even real?) Raidyn wasn't scared of no judgement, what did scare him (maybe not that much, now that he knew who those belonged to) was Satan's minion and her RED AS FUCK EYES! LIKE SERIOUSLY-

Clearing his throat and trying to salvage some faux dignity after that dramatic display, he grunted, "Touch me one more time and you're-"

"Yeah, yeah I get it, big guy. Look, I need a favour."

Venetia Redfox crossed her arms and stood threateningly in front of the entrance.

Who was she kidding? "Nope," he muttered and swerved right around her and made his way to the counter. (Pipsqueak. She really should've seen that coming.)

And right as he turned right towards the display case, he found her leaning against it with her shoulder, looking bored. "Yes. And now."

How the- PPHIGXUTDUTZUT- HOW DID SHE JUST-

"Parkour." She deadpanned.

Raidyn gave Venetia a long, long look and sighed, striding towards her. Her smirk widened in anticipation as-

He picked her up like a sack of potatoes and tossed her over his shoulder.

"WHAT THE- THIS IS HARASSMENT!!"

"Technically, you cornered me first," he stated matter-of-factly and dropped her on her feet (she looked like a hissy kitten, hmm.) Then proceeding to close the doors at her, he picked up a poster of her (he kept posters of all of them for a day like this. Ah, foreboding luck. He could feel it.) and pinned it onto the front door.

BANNED: VENETIA REDFOX

(Was he even allowed to do that, you might ask, but bah, who cares? Rabid girls are a nationwide threat.)

.................

As he wrapped up and prepared to leave, Raidyn had a niggling feeling he forgot something very, very crucial. Uh-

A body collided onto his own and climbed (I kid you not) him (THE FUCK KIND OF ANIMALS DID MAGNOLIA OWN?) before a tiny, rough hand muffled him. Oh no.

"Yoph kiphing mmph!" Raidyn groaned.

"I need you to teach me how to solve a Rubix Cube."

What. Excuse Raidyn for not knowing, but was Rubix cube some mafia codeword for mafia stuff? Stealing a car, fighting goons, skipping classes or drug dealing? Raidyn Dreyar had a long jail-free life ahead of him, mind you.

BUT SERIOUSLY, SOLVE A RUBIX CUBE?! HOW FRICKING RANDOM WAS THAT?! WHO EVEN TOLD HER HE KNEW HOW TO SOLVE ONE? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS GODFORSAKEN TOWN?!!!

(Some might say he really had to stop reading those novels his mom bought. Some might be right. Whatever.)

Back to the topic on hand, he mumbled inaudibly. Her cropped hair tickled the sides of his face as she squinted at him, "What?"

Was she kidding right now? He pointed at her hand covering his mouth and her eyes widened as she let out a nervous laugh. (Geez, talk about stupid.)

He took in a deep breath and shook her off him. She stood there patiently (As patiently as a Redfox could, anyway.) as he straightened his shirt.

"First things first, NO!" And he stalked away.

He registered a groan from behind him and quickened his pace. However, the midget in question managed to propel herself at break-neck speeds and no joke, TACKLED him.

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-"

"GET OFF ME, YOU PSYCHOTIC-"

Karma was such a bitch.

Macao, the guard standing by the parking lot, huffed, "They don't pay me enough for this."

...............

The only reason he was doing this was because she offered to fix up his car. (How did she even know it wasn't starting?) Also because it had been a while since he brushed up on his Rubix skills. Also because he wanted to get rid of the midget before she followed him home. (He figured his mom and dad would ENJOY her presence and replace him with her. He had crazy parents.)

Everyday she'd make sure to meet him (mostly by cornering him in the hallways) and in exchange for these classes, she'd work on his car at the weekend.

The first time she came over to his house (to work on his car, but he didn't know that) was rather embarrassing because he kinda sorta thought she was a burglar and locked his garage, yelling at the top of his lungs. His dad, Laxus came out with a taser (Dad sure loved his tasers.) Of course, when he finally opened the garage doors, he was met with an unimpressed look from the Redfox in question. (God, he was such a drama queen.)

The midget had a lot of trouble twisting her hands at the beginning of her sessions and he loved teasing her about her 'butter fingers' every time she accidentally flung the cube across the room or out the window in one rare occasion.

You know, she was kind of fun to have around.

"And that's the algorithm! You're all done!" He cheered, glad to have this behind him.

"Geez, you don't have to sound that excited to get rid of me." Venetia teased.

"What? No....." He feigned innocence.

"D'aww, admit it, you enjoyed my company."

"Please, more like I was scared for my life." He mumbled. She snorted.

"Catch you later, alligator."

Did she just- "NO WAY, JOŚE!" (That was lame even for him. Gosh dang it, she was laughing at him....)

Fricking Redfox.

......................

That weekend, Raidyn thought he deserved a good ol' evening out with his friends/colleagues (technically it was the manager that suggested it and he tagged along for the heck of it. He wasn't much of a social person, per se.)

He guessed Karma was still on a streak when Venetia Redfox entered the very same place they'd chosen for karaoke night and sat herself on one of the tables in front of them. And proceeded to order nothing.

The raven-head didn't even have her notebook (that always made her look disarmingly tiny) or her phone. Oh well, she must've been waiting for someone.

As the hours passed, he found himself exceedingly irritated for no reason.

"Who in their right mind would stand up The Venetia Redfox?" His colleagues whispered (rather loudly, according to him) and she just tapped her fingers away, oblivious to it all.

Fine, whatever.

"Sup." He towered over her and greeted, moving to take a seat next to her.

She blinked at him.

Okay, you couldn't exactly judge him. She was a regular and tipped good and people were being annoying about her and oh, her tapping was distracting and he had a massive headache coming. That's all. Simple as that.

"Don't you have better shit to do?" Red irises stared at him impassively.

"What are you doing here by yourself?" He asked coolly.

"Well, Nashi was supposed to-"

"I'M HERE! I'M HERE! I'M-" Both tilted their heads just in time to see Nashi ram into the glass doors. The now groaning pinkette was sprawled on her butt in front of the entrance. "Fricking doors."

"That's her." Venetia deadpanned. Raidyn shook his head sympathetically.

"Heyo Ven! Heh, kinda lost track of time beating Frostbite at Mario Kart," her doe eyes scanned him. "Raidyn! I didn't know you guys were friends!" She grinned.

Raidyn gave her a two-finger salute in greeting.

Nashi's eyes suddenly widened in realisation. "YOU'RE TEACHING HER THE RUBIX?!"

"Uh..."

"Yup." Venetia smirked. "He's a great teach. His parents have taken me in as their own."

"WAIT! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS?!"

"Just like that, Blondie. What can I say? It's the charm," She grinned at his bewildered face.

"You guys are all ready for the challenge then?" Nashi wiggled, now nervous, "Ven, I didn't mean to drag you into this, but Clint was-"

"It's cool, dumbass." Venetia shrugged. "Ain't your fault that they're dipshits."

At his confused look, Nashi clarified, "People like picking on us just because we're Fairies and held to the same standards as our parents. This frat dude decided he had to prove he was smarter than the Fairies and decided to pick a Rubix cube challenge of all things." She rolled her eyes. "Bet he taught he was real original thinking that one up."

"Bet he did." Storm scoffed. (Wait, what?)

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"

"From- the front door?" Storm scratched his head in genuine confusion. (As if Raidyn was the weird one that sneaked up behind people like a stalker!)

Nashi facepalmed. "Why the heck are you here, Frostbite?"

"Just like that."

"Gosh, you're so annoying."

"Wanna say that to my face, Flamebrains?!" Storm yelled. (Oh, not again....)

"Guys, please don't...." Raidyn said, but both didn't seem to be paying attention to him.

"I SAID YOU'RE ANNOYING! FIGHT ME!" She threw a punch at him and before he knew it both were throwing napkin holders and vases at each other.

Venetia seemed to be enjoying the show, and pulled him to the back of the room, "This might take a while," she stated. "Wanna grab a milkshake?"

Well, he was kind of craving one. "Why not?"

..................

Today was the day of Venetia's challenge and Raidyn found himself nervous.

"You sure they won't wreck the place?" He grumbled for the umpteenth time.

Venetia groaned. "Do you have no faith in my abilities, Dreyar?"

"Nope. None whatsoever."

She raised an eyebrow, "Shame on you, then. I wouldn't let a good friend lose his job on my behalf. Dally ho, now!" She cheered.

He blinked at her, giving her a small reluctant smile. "Kick ass, Ven."

She tilted her head toward him and gave him a grin that knocked the breath out of him. "Thanks, Raidyn."

Shit. When did- when did she get so pretty?

"Look who we have here. You sure you're in the right place, Redfox?" A voice condescended. The owner of the voice was a grimy looking kid that looked like one of those middle-school spelling-bee losers that bragged about it whenever they met someone new.

"Clint." Venetia deadpanned.

Raidyn broke out into a fit of laughter, making 'Clint' (What kind of sad name was that?) glare at him. (Oh please, Little Clint was totally quaking in his boots! Why'd he even bother coming?)

"Let's begin then! Pick a shuffler." Clint drawled.

Venetia picked Nashi while Clint, after a moment of deliberation, picked one of his gang-mates (What did they call it? The Math club?)

"You may begin."

Both Nashi and the grimy dude shuffled for the better of 15 seconds. Clint just scoffed and clicked like a pretentious know-it-all, making comments like, "You're making it easier by shuffling harder, you know. Make it tougher for me, Nashi dear."

Raidyn had to give it to the pinkette, he would've smacked the teen by now.

"Okay," the referee, Storm cheered, (even though he looked like he was ready to kill Clint) "Timer starts, NOW!"

Both twisted and turned the cube furiously, Venetia sticking her tongue out in concentration while the teen twisted his arms like a man possessed.

"I'M DONE!" Venetia dropped the cube with a thud onto the table. "How's that for a Redfox?"

"E-excuse me? That's insane! It's only been," Clint checked the timer like the sore loser he was, "31 seconds!"

"Too bad," she smirked. (Well shit, that was hot...)

"I demand a rematch!"

Nashi moved to protest, but Venetia silenced her with a hand, "Whatever you say, kid..."

"This time, we swap cubes!" He whined like the little weasel he was.

3 minutes later, the rematch began and Venetia plopped her cube on the table with a glare.

"You think you're smart giving me a faulty cube, don't you?"

"And I'm done!" The weasel had the nerve to say. "I don't know what you're talking about Venetia, I used the same cube and it worked just fine. Maybe it was a stroke of luck on your part the first tim-"

He couldn't finish his tirade because Raidyn took that opportunity to check the cube (He didn't have to though, he believed Venetia enough to know she wouldn't make up excuses.) and yeeted it at his face like he'd been itching to do from the moment he saw the turd.

"YOU IDIOT! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS-"

"GET HIM!"

"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" Nashi growled, "I'M ALL FIRED UP NOW!"

Oh dear.

Okay, maybe the fight wouldn't get too big, these were scrawny kids after a-

Yeah, Nashi Dragneel just flipped a table on them.

There goes his job.

"GO, NASHI!" His manager cheered. (Okay, thank God this town was crazy.) "Raidyn! You can take the day off, kid. Have fun!"

Storm chose that moment to enter after his momentary toilet-break. "I WAS GONE FOR 3 MINUTES, WOMAN! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"JOIN US, STRIPPER!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"YOU HEARD ME!"

Venetia, unbothered by the chaos behind her, pulled him by the arm, her eyebrows furrowed at him, "Well, I tried. But hey, looks like you still have your job. That's a win, right?" She scratched her neck, laughing.

He sighed, putting caution to the wind. This was Ven after all. "Ice-cream date? My treat for today's win."

A smile erupted on her face, "Only if we take my bike there."

.............

Bonus (That no one asked for):

"Okay, so you have to grip it right. Not too tight. Just enough to nudge it in the right direction." Venetia explained, from where she was seated in front of him on the death tra- bike.

Raidyn nervously laughed, "I've got this in the bag, I don't know what you're worried about." The tilt in his voice gave away his panic, however. She raised an eyebrow.

"Humor me then."

Okay.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

GO!!

"DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES, YOU IDIOT!!" Venetia screeched. She reached over and took over the handlebars just in time as they nearly crashed into a tree Raidyn was headed for.

He got off the bike and tripped, falling face-first on the ground. Fricking Jelly-legs. "I am never riding that death trap again." Raidyn groaned.

"What the heck?!" Venetia questioned, bewildered. "How'd you even get your driver's ed with such sucky basics?"

"IT'S A DEATH TRAP, THAT'S WHY!!"

"OF COURSE IT'S A DEATH TRAP IF YOU'RE NOT LOOKING WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!!!"

"Fight me Ven, I'm never getting on that thing again!"

"Too bad, I have to drop you back home too." The sneaky devil dared smirk at his plight.

Fricking Karma.

He wouldn't have it any other way, though.

.............

#raidyn dreyar #venetia redfox #shutora redfox #venai #gale #miraxus #fairy tail #ft next generation #venetia x raidyn #nashi dragneel x storm fullbuster #nashi dragneel #storm fullbuster #modern au #rubix cube #bad boy remake

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bookishbarnowl · 4 years ago

Text

Two Kinds of Snapping

They’d been saying the same things to each other for a week, the argument running in maddening circles as Dream spouted his usual insane drivel and Tommy shouted abuse back. He kept going on and on about the revival book, and Tommy wished he would just shut up about the stupid thing. It probably wasn’t even real.

Tommy is stuck. Losing it. Trapped with the person he hates the most on the entire server, and no one's getting him out. Conflict is the natural result.

Or, I write the dsmp prison scene ’cause angst go brrrrrrr

No I did not have the teletubbie kill him with a potato. Thought about it though.

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence, Major character death, very much not a happy fic

Relationships: Canon compliant Dream and Tommy (aka: ENEMIES)

Word Count: 1,501

Ao3 Link: Here

Tommy was done. He was so sick and tired and stuck and hurting and he wanted out so badly that he was ready to fly apart at the seams. The prison cell was infuriatingly small, and Dream’s presence in the corner was unignorably large. His fresh bruises were smarting from their short-lived scuffles and he had a long scratch on one arm sluggishly leaking blood from their most recent fight.

It hadn’t taken them long to switch from furious and resentful words to physical violence. Tommy had lashed out first, with a wild roundhouse punch thrown in desperation on his second day trapped, but Dream had shown no hesitation when he swept his feet out from under him in retaliation. Almost every argument they had ended with Tommy sprawled on the floor in an incandescent state of boiling rage, and he always came out worse in their exchanges. His body was littered with marks, but Dream was only sporting a swollen cheekbone from a lucky blow and a couple scrapes.

Tommy didn’t know why he kept trying. He’d never be able to beat Dream one on one, but there was so much seething anger bubbling up inside him that he felt like he couldn’t help it. They’d been saying the same things to each other for a week, the argument running in maddening circles as Dream spouted his usual insane drivel and Tommy shouted abuse back. He kept going on and on about the revival book, and Tommy wished he would just shut up about the stupid thing. It probably wasn’t even real, just a bluff to make him let down his guard.

He got up from his spot at the edge of the room and started pacing, tracing his now-habitual route back and forth along the netherite strip. His thoughts were running in loops again, repeatedly telling him that the only thing he wanted right now was to leave. He knew that already, he didn’t need his brain freaking out about it. He was pretty sure he’d had at least one panic attack. He didn’t want to spiral into another.

He’d asked the question a thousand times before, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking again. “How long’s it been,” he snapped.

“Close to a week now,” Dream replied evenly.

“What’d you mean close to a week? Either it’s been one or it hasn’t! I want out of here now!”

The other man shrugged. “Nothing I can do about it. Sam must still be dealing with the security issue.”

“That you’ve caused, stupid idiot. I’m done with you. When I get out of here, I’m never coming back.”

“Aw, wouldn’t you miss me?” he crooned.

“No. Hell no. I’d rather die.”

Dream’s eyes flashed. “Would you, now?”

He shuddered. “Not literally. You’re sick in the head.”

A grin tugged at the corner of the prisoner’s mouth and he stood up, moving a step closer. “But think of all the fun times we had together. I want to be your friend, Tommy. I’d certainly miss you.”

Tommy angrily rounded on him. “I want nothing to do with you,” he snarled, stabbing an accusatory finger towards his chest. “You can rot in here for the rest of your life for all I care. I’m getting out, and I’m leaving you behind forever. I’m gonna forget I ever knew you. There are people out there who care about me more than you ever will.”

Dream took another step. “But I do care about you, Tommy. And here’s the thing,” he leaned in, “are you sure the others are your friends? After all, you’re still stuck in here, aren’t you?” He smiled, an expression too wide for his face. Tommy hated how it looked.

“Shut up,” he growled, turning back towards the lava. “Of course they are.”

A hand rested on his shoulder, and he batted it roughly away.

“So irritable,” Dream mused. “You have the shortest fuse of anyone I know.”

“Gee, do I?” he muttered sullenly. The hand returned, and he slapped it off. “I never want to see your idiotic face again for the rest of my life.”

“But if you stayed with me, think about how much longer that would be. I could give you another life. Heck, I could give you as many as you wanted. I want to help you, Tommy.” He reached for the teen’s shoulder a third time.

Tommy ducked out of the way, pushing the larger man back. “Not back to this thing again. I don’t believe it. That stupid book isn’t real. You’re just trying to get me to buy into your lies, but I won’t do it.”

Dream’s eyes glittered darkly as he closed the distance between them. “Oh, it’s real, alright. I don’t think even Schlatt knew the extent of the power this book gives. I don’t know what I can do to make you believe me.”

“Nothing,” he blustered, disliking the closeness. “I’ll never side with you.” He planted his palms in Dream’s chest and shoved him away, feeling the start of another fight brewing in the air. His enemy stepped neatly backwards and kept his balance, smiling his creepy leering grin.

“Oh, come on. Do you really want to do this again? We both know how it ends.” He spread his stance into a more stable boxing pose.

“I hate you. You’ve made my life hell for months. I hate you!”

He rushed at Dream and attempted to drive his shoulder into his stomach, but his opponent side-stepped and tried to shove him to the ground. He barely kept his footing, tripping forwards for a few steps before whirling around to face him again. He yelled in rage and charged a second time, aiming for his feet instead. Once again Dream dodged and grabbed Tommy’s elbow as he tried to run past, hauling him around and throwing him to the ground.

He scrambled back to his feet in time to avoid the kick heading for his gut and stumbled away from the swinging fist that swiftly followed. He tried to get in a counter punch but was blocked by Dream’s other arm. A sharp pain burst in his knee as Dream sent a sudden kick flying into it, and the hit distracted him enough for the other man to shoot a rapid jab straight into his nose.

His head snapped back and he cried out, automatically bringing his hands up to his face as his vision blurred with reflexive tears. That was all the opportunity Dream needed to kick him squarely in the stomach and send him crashing to the floor. His head cracked painfully against the obsidian, stunning him as more pain blossomed in his skull.

This is where he’ll back off, something in his brain told him. Their fights always ended quickly.

But Dream drove his foot into Tommy’s gut a second time, putting his full weight into the crushing stomp. Tommy yelled in agony as he drew his foot back up for another blow, trying to roll to the side and get out of the way. Dream followed the movement easily and the second stomp landed on his ribs. He heard something crack and the pain multiplied, another scream tearing itself from his mouth.

He tried to get away, pulling himself towards the far end of the room, but he couldn’t drag himself more than a few inches before another devastating hit slammed into his sternum. He couldn’t stop screaming, he was in so much pain. It was the worst pain he’d ever felt, being shot by an arrow was paling in comparison to his organs being pulverized by a heavy boot. Dream wouldn’t stop, laughing maniacally as his foot pounded into his torso over and over again.

“How about this to convince you?” he screeched, unhinged. “You can go ask him yourself!”

Tommy tried to say something, but Dream kicked him in the jaw and the words were choked back in another cry of agony. His insides felt scrambled and wrong and painful and he’d never felt anything so bad in his entire life. He tried to curl up around his ruptured and bleeding stomach, tears streaming down his face, but moving felt worse so he stopped.

Dream was still hitting, crunching his fingers into the ground and grinding his arms against the obsidian floor. He knew things were breaking but he wasn’t thinking about what, brain consumed by the indescribable torture pulsing through him in time with his heartbeat.

He knew he was still screaming but it was past voluntary, a primal, animalistic noise that should never come from a person’s throat.

He knew Dream was still laughing. The raucous noise was psychotic and terrifying and how the hell did this happen he was supposed to get out. But now Dream was drawing back his foot for another stomp, higher than the others, and Tommy’s last thought was I’m not ready to die.

The boot came down on his neck with a sickening snap, and the pain stopped.

#dsmp #dsmp tommy #dsmp dream #angst #mcyt #fanfic #prison arc #tommy trauma #get this man to puffy for therapy

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wolfywordweaver · 5 years ago

Text

Here’s a little drabble that I’m thinking about fleshing out into a full one-shot:

Remus sat anxiously in the thin metal chair that felt like it would buckle and fold him up at any second. His nails had already been bitten down to bloody quicks and both hands were tucked into the pockets of his corduroys. The stars were already out but he knew that among those glistening orbs was a giant metal bird that was bringing home a very delicate and precious gift. It was a chance to hear the truth of the matter.

"Cigarette?" Major Moody asked from next to him, gnarled hands holding out the crumpled pack.

"No, sir," he responded immediately and with sharp clear annunciation before realizing what he was doing and chuckling. "I'm sorry. No thank you."

"It's alright, son," the Major responded as he pocketed the pack. He had a smooth unopened pack settled on his lap, a peace offering for their visitor. "You haven't been in the army for over ten years, but the habits are hard to quit, aren't they?"

"Yes, sir," he sighed softly. The nightmares never seemed to go away either.

In fact, it was as if Vietnam never left him even when he had fled away so desperately.

The doors at the end of the terminal opened and Remus felt his breath hitch as a figure both familiar and completely foreign limped past the doors and paused to shakily lean against the flight attendant's calling desk. Both Remus and Moody were on their feet and approached the man briskly, yet cautiously.

"Black? Son?"

Arms that were unnaturally thin tensed with wiry desperate muscles before the head glanced up carefully, grey eyes peeking out from under the rim of army green, and Remus felt much the same way he had when he received the call. Desperate longing, horror, rage, and terror. They wouldn't have treated him this way if he had been the traitor. They wouldn't have let him starve and rot. Would they?

"M-major?" the stranger in front of them croaked, his voice clearly in terrible shape. Was that from disuse or torture? "Major now, Moody?"

A hint of a smile curled on one corner of his lips before the muscles twitched terribly and he was left with a stony frown.

"Yes, soldier," Moody replied, his own voice gruff but warm. "Let's get this briefing done over at the hotel. They say that you refused to talk to anyone else?" There was a short nod. "That's well enough. Want something to eat?" The Major looked over the too thin frame, his glass eye unmoving.

"Sure."

Remus almost snorted. Starved almost to death and here he was still acting too cool. A memory flashed through his brain unbidden, sweat-dampened shirt, bare arms, and kiss-bitten lips swollen around a cigarette. He stomped the memory's flame out as quickly as it burst forth. Black did not look him in the eye and he turned his own hazel eyes to the ground as they slowly made their way to the car.

They picked some McDonald's food at the drive-through and made it to the clean and quiet motel. It was at the ground level, easily accessible to the car and not likely to cause a panic attack in the recently rescued Prisoner Of War. Although, really, was there anything that they could do that wouldn't trigger one bad memory or another? Too open and he'd be itching for cover. Too concealed and protected and he would be scrabbling from claustrophobia.

But Black had already survived so much. Who was to say that he would be an emotional wreck and a psychotic mess?

They sat on the beds, Moody and Remus on one facing Black in the other. He was carefully breathing in the scent of the fried slivers of potatoes, mouth open softly with little puffs of exhalation. Once the video camera and voice recording equipment was set up, Moody lit up another cigarette and begun.

"Were you the traitor who provided keys to the radio talk?"

"No," the gravely voice responded flatly before that mouth carefully worked over a still-hot fry.

"If it wasn't you, then who was it?"

He chewed slowly, carefully, as if relishing every ounce of greasy flavor. Then the steel grey eyes looked straight at Remus for the first time as his next word was spit out angrily. "Pettigrew."

Moody didn't react other than to continue smoking calmly. Remus had to stare at the floor as he tried to process the new information.

"That so, Black? Got any proof?"

The sneer could easily be heard in the responding words. "Have your men been able to find the little rat since I surfaced? I'm sure he's off hiding away someplace now. No Purple Heart is going to protect him anymore. The fucking Pacific wasn't a wide enough trench to keep me away."

It was true. Peter had completely disappeared after the news broke of the POW found mostly dead on the shores of a Philippine island.

"Any other proof?" Moody asked, still seemingly untouched.

A tongue peeked out to drag across the overly chapped lips. "Nothing that would help now. Everything's buried and swept over. You're free to inspect the 'rewards' of my betrayal if you'd like." The last sentence was thick with sarcasm and anger. "I mean, hell, why wouldn't we all fucking turn sides with an offer like this?"

"Major," Remus interrupted. "You said that there was a report about the location that Black gave when they found him?"

"Oh, yes." He leaned over to his briefcase and flipped through some papers. Remus was desperate for any kind of confirmation, that the words Sirius was speaking right now were the truth. "Here it is. Black, there was an investigation in the location that you shared with the army when they got you. There was a mass grave, just like you said, and several of the bodies were only days old. No one alive and it had already been vacated by any local military presence."

Remus felt his head swim and he leaned heavily on his knees. "Fucking shit," he whispered, the tears stinging in his eyes.

The Major cleared his throat and packed the papers away. "There's a lot more to talk about tomorrow, Black, but I think that's enough for tonight. Lupin and I are bunked in the rooms on either side of you. Let us know if you want or need anything. I'm already certain that your help in recovering the bodies of all those boys and helping to bring them back home will play a part in clearing your name and getting you the decorations you are owed."

"I don't want anything," Black responded softly. Remus looked up with wet eyes and he could see an anguish even deeper than Moody could ever understand.

He wanted nothing but Peter dead. Revenge.

#fanfiction #drabble #vietnam era #sirius black #remus lupin #alastor moody #peter pettigrew #pow #prisoner of war

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raging-violets · 5 years ago

Note

“I know you still love him/her.” + your choice

Criminal Minds: Because of You / Prompt / JJ, Spencer, and Averey

Based on: 15x04, “Saturday”

Authored by: Rhuben

Standing side by side, JJ and Averey took in the sight of Spencer Reid. He was tall and gangly as he always was. But, he was in a sweatshirt. A sweatshirt. Ever since she had met him, she hadn’t ever seen Spencer in anything casual. Not even jeans. Except one rare occasion they tried hard not to bring up. Not even a t-shirt. Never without multiple layers. He was the physical embodiment of “dress to impress,” if his big brain wasn’t already doing so.

“Whoever this conversation was with,” JJ said with a knowing smile, “she’s put a smile on your face I haven’t seen in a long time.”

Spencer pressed his lips together, pursed them, opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it. He bowed his head. Then, his eyebrows furrowed together, and he looked JJ in the eye. “Wait, ‘she’?” he said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t say who I had this conversation with.”

Averey rest her arm on JJ’s shoulder, using her hand to cover her smile, scratching around her mouth. “It was definitely a girl, mate,” she said, her nose wrinkling as she smiled. “Clearly. JJ’s right, the only other time I’ve seen you smile like that is Halloween.”

“Because it’s the greatest holiday of the year,” Spencer said, lighting up. “It’s the strangest, most mystical day of the year. You get to dress up as whoever you want, watch scary movies, go door to door to get candy, carve pumpkins – you can take the time to remember those who’ve passed. I mean, it’s great. And…” He cleared his throat, his smile shifting to one side of his mouth, “and for one day, I wasn’t the weird kid.” His smile returned, and he shrugged. It was gone a moment later, a troubled expression suddenly appearing on his face. “Hey, so let’s go see the new baby.”

“Not so fast.” Averey stuck out her hand as Spencer moved to pass them. JJ followed her lead and the two of them pushed him back. She squinted, scrutinizing him. “What’s that look in your eyes?”

“What look?” Spencer asked.

“Spence.” JJ’s eyebrows shot upwards. She crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Spencer replied. “Just, uh, anxious to go see Simmons’s new baby.”

JJ and Averey exchanged glances. “Well, you know there’s only a certain amount of people they can have in the room at one time, it’s probably already too crowded,” JJ said. Averey nodded emphatically. “In fact, I remember when I just gave birth to Henry – phew – it just about wore me out.”

Averey waved her hand in the air. “Yeah, and, really how big is a baby going to grow in a few minutes, or hours, or days?” Averey asked. “They all look like potatoes, anyway.”

“Well, with women only being dilated ten centimeters, it’s not uncommon for people to think newborns are ugly,” Spencer quickly explained. “In fact, most newborns have a point to their heads because of all the pressure and the muscles forcing it out of the birth canal for hours.” He started nodding his head, slowly stepping around them. He started walking backwards, nearing the Simmons family’s hospital room. “It would even be more defined if the baby needs to be taken out by suction because the fontanelle hasn’t all fused together yet because baby’s bones are softer, to allow for more flexibility in the birth canal. It could take as long as four months or so before the baby’s skull is fully formed.”

“JJ,” Averey said, “You mind if I talk to Spencer alone for a few minutes?” She turned towards JJ, pulling her mouth to one side. She tapped her bottom lip with her index finger before she pointed at Spencer. “I think I know what’s up.”

“Sure, of course,” JJ said with a nod. “I’ll just be at the vending machines. I practically had Will buy out all of the Hot Cheetos in the hospital after both my pregnancies.”

“Ooh, if they have any Cheese Curls, get some for me, please?” Averey asked, giving JJ a toothy, pleading smile, clasping her hands together.

“You’ve got it.”

“You know, it’s been found that the chemicals that make the spicy powder on Flaming Hot Cheetos has been linked to many hospital visits,” Spencer said. JJ lifted her eyebrows, giving him a close-lipped smile as she turned away from him, clicking her tongue as she did so. “It can lead to ulcers, intestinal erosion, and gastritis.”

“Spencer, sit down,” Averey said, putting a hand to her forehead. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Hmm?” A confused look crossed Spencer’s face. “What?” He used his thumb to point over his shoulder. He pulled is lips downwards in the corners. Widened his eyes in innocence. “I’m just going to see the baby. And saving JJ from severe abdominal pain.”

“Right. Fair go, Spencer, but you’ll have plenty of time for Matt and Kristy to pawn the baby off on you,” Averey said, swinging her arm in a circle, pointing towards the empty seats in the waiting room. “You can help accelerate her reading level, teach her the wonders of the world, and all of that. She’ll be graduating secondary in no time. And if a little pain is a result of those Hot Cheetos, I’m sure JJ will enjoy herself in the meantime.” She pointed to an empty chair. “Sit.”

Spencer darted his eyes back and forth before doing as he was told. Lowering himself into a hard, plastic seat, he placed his hands on his knees, drumming his fingertips on his kneecaps.

“Spencer, you don’t have to beat yourself up for enjoying a conversation with a woman,” Averey said.

“I-I’m not,” Spencer said. He stopped tapping and rubbed his hands on his thighs before clasping his hands together.

“Ok.” Averey let out a soft sigh before leaning forward in her seat. “Maeve wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back from being happy.”

“I’m not doing that, either.”

“Then why are you still here?” Averey asked. Spencer looked startled, his face scrunching into a look of confusion. She tilted her head to the side, holding it up with her index finger, elbow resting on the arm rest of her chair. “Mate, your face was lit up like a Jack O’Latern when you walked in here. Just because you spent the afternoon talking to someone you just met. Why aren’t you still talking with her?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer. “It wasn’t easy for me to feel like I was ready to start dating after Noel died. I felt like I was cheating on him in a way.”

Spencer blinked. He swallowed. Sat up straight in his seat. “You did?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah. It sucked,” Averey said bluntly. “How do you not feel like you’re doing something wrong? I thought Noel would be the only bloke I’d ever spend the rest of my life with. It felt weird to find out I could have the same strong feelings for someone else. Anyone else.”

Spencer bowed his head for a moment, before looking back up at Averey. “Maeve made me feel like I was normal,” Spencer replied. “Even when I worried I was having a psychotic break. She made me feel like I wasn’t weird for knowing so much, because she was intelligent, too.”

“Being an intellectual isn’t weird, Spencer,” Averey reminded him, “it’s who you are.”

“That’s what I mean,” Spencer said, his voice cracking slightly, “Maeve made me feel…like me.”

“Believe me,” Averey said, slowly blinking, “I know the feeling.” She watched as Spencer’s eyebrows pulled towards each other in the cute confused face he always made. She cleared her throat, leaning forward in her seat to rest her forearms on her knees. “Does this other girl give you that same feeling?”

“Well,” a thoughtful look came across Spencer’s face, “my therapist asked me to have a normal conversation with someone today. And we did. We—we had a nice conversation. Not about work.” Averey lifted an eyebrow. “Well, maybe a little bit. But we also talked about everything else.” He blinked. “And then she pushed me into the sprinklers.”

Averey snapped her fingers. “That explains the civvies,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, and then I carried her through the sprinklers in retaliation,” Spencer said with a nod. A sly smile slowly spread across Averey’s face. “She was talking about decency and then turned right around and did something not decent.”

“So, you were flirting?”

“What? No, I was…”

“Flirting.” Slack jawed, Spencer’s gaze darted around the room from object to object. Averey hid her smile, and a small laugh, behind her hand as she watched him. “You know all Maeve wanted was for you to be happy,” she said as soon as she managed to get control over her laughter.

“I was happy with her,” Spencer replied.

“True,” Averey agreed. “But who said you could only have one thing, or in this case, one person in your life to make you happy?” She leaned forward and gently hit Spencer’s knee with her hand. “I know you still love her but take it from someone who’s done this; don’t ever let your happiness be determined by one person. No one’s asking you to forget Maeve. And knowing that you have an eidetic memory, I reckon you never could, anyway.”

“Thomas Merton,” Spencer whispered with a smile.

Averey’s nose wrinkled as she did a double take. “Who?”

“Maeve knows,” Spencer replied. His smile widened.

JJ slowed her footsteps as she neared them, arms filled with bags of snack foods. “Is it ok for me to come back?” she asked, making a show of extending her footsteps. “Everything ok over here?”

“I don’t know,” Averey said, slouching in her chair, albeit with a grin, “with a big brain like that, it’s hard to know if it’ll understand such simple topics.”

“We’re ok,” Spencer said to JJ.

“Good,” JJ replied. “So now you can get out of here.”

“But…” Spencer grabbed the arm rests of his chair and lifted himself to his feet. “I still haven’t seen the baby.”

“She’ll still be a baby whenever you see her,” JJ replied, handing Averey a bag of Cheese Curls (“Yay!” Averey cheered, grabbing the pack and hugging it to her chest). “Matt will understand.” She fixed Spencer with a hard stare. “Go, Spencer.”

“Run if you have to,” Averey added.

Spencer lifted himself up and stopped part way between standing and sitting; an odd squat. “But, maybe I should—”

“Go,” both girls said in unison.

With that, Spencer jumped to his feet and ran out of the hospital wing. “Oh my gosh,” JJ whispered, sitting down next to Averey. She set the bags of snack foods down into the chair next to her before pulling open a bag of Hot Cheetos.

“Jayje.”

“Hmm?”

Averey used her hands to indicate between herself and JJ. “We both know that Spencer was able to skive the physical tests at the Academy,” she said. JJ nodded, popping a Cheeto into her mouth before licking the powder off her fingers. “But that,” she pointed to the spot Spencer was just standing, “was the worst running form I’ve seen in my life.”

“Yeah, uh,” settling the bag in her lap, JJ used her free hand to push her fingers into her hair, scratching at the back of her head, pulling her hair to one side of her neck. “I can’t explain that. Stick a gun in his hand, and he follows through with the correct form; finger off trigger, down at his side.” She lifted her hands and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t think anyone can explain that,” Averey said, settling back in her seat, laughing quietly. She was silent for a moment before saying, “Hank Spencer Morgan for Spencer, Rose Mary Simmons because ‘it’s close to Rossi’, what do you reckon I have to do around here to have a bloody baby named after me?”

[ Random Angst Starters | Ask Box ]

#psychchesters #answered ask #ask #oc: averey moore #spencer reid #jj jareau #fd: criminal minds #criminal minds #prompt #rhuben answered #authored by: rhuben #the ending of this episode was too sweet

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jpat82 · 7 years ago

Text

Bad Plan

CHAPTER 2

“So let me get this straight, you volunteered me to cook a bbq, two days from now. On my day off, and I should do this why?" She raised an eye brow.

“Because you like throwing bbq's and having people over." I replied recalling the many times we had had people over for dinner.

“Yes, but not people who are used to away higher cooking skill." She sounded annoyed.

“Look, they don't want fancy food. They want just an old fashion backyard bbq's. Where they sit down and just relax like everyone else. Plus I thought you'd be alittle excited getting to meet them all."

“Fine, but your buying everything and being my help. Which means.."

“I cater to you. Deal."

******

Friday I went and bought everything, while getting texts from excited people asking what they should bring. Saturday morning was helping prep the food. I was just excited to have everyone come over. Plus waiting to see the look on my twins face when she met Tom.

There was knock, I ran to go get it as my sister was outside grilling.

“Hey kid," ah, that amazing smile. "Brought some beer."

“Nice, and your like an hour early." I smiled, gesturing for him follow. Showed him the quick down stairs tour of the house.

“Utterly gorgeous. I love old houses, they just don't have the same character in homes today." We walked out back, our patio was huge. With a fire pit in the middle, benches built in to the side of the deck. White lights were strung up, to be honest the patio costed us a fortune but it was well worth every penny.

“Completely agree with you, we jumped when it went up for sale. Got it for a steal cause it had so many issues. But, we knew some people."

“Hey Karl. You found the place okay?" My sister asked. "Can be hard to find."

“Yep, can't see looming up from the street since its on the top of hill or anything." He joked back.

“Well, the drive way can be a pain sometimes. Somebody hasn't trimmed the hedges out front."

“Oh my gosh, they arnt that bad."

“Renee, you can't find the mail box." She pointed the flipper at me.

“Fine I'll go cut them back real quick." I hurried off, stopping by the shed to grab the cutters. I was just about done when two more cars pulled up.

“Hey, up that way?" Zoe asked pointing up the drive.

“Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. Karl's already here." She pulled in, Simon and Tom in her car, Chris waved as he followed her, Zach riding shot gun. I felt a wave of anxiety, and steeled myself before trekking up the drive.

I introduced my sister to our guests. Except one, Tom. You see my sister had been giving me grief about this cook out since I told her about it. I devised an evil plan to get back at her. I knew my wonderful dear twin needed more burgers. I was already carrying side dishes so I asked Tom to snag the burgers and take them to her.

I love her I really do, but I knew how much of crush she had on this man. I would never get to do something like this to her again. I watched as he walked out.

“Excuse me, miss, your sister asked me to bring you this." He said walking up beside the unsuspecting woman. I watched as her entire body went rigid, no doubt completely recognizing that British voice. She turned rather slowly, looking at him and blinked hard a couple of times. I watched as her face paled, then slowly turn pink.

“Uh, thank you." She stammered and turned back to the grill. I walked over to the table where all guests were and put the sides down.

“God, you two have a slice of heaven back here." Zoe exclaimed, taking everything in.

“In all seriousness, this is a pretty sweet patio." Chris stated, taking a swig of his beer. "I mean you got the recessed fire pit, some falls with a koi pond in the corner. Beautiful trees surrounding it. You can't even hear the street down there."

“Thanks, Ros and I spend a lot of time out here during the summer and fall." My phone vibrated, I pulled it out. All it said 'I'm killing you after they leave!'

Once the food was done we all sat and chatted, enjoying the evening. Rosalyn having an in depth conversation with Tom and Simon about England. Zach and Zoe were arguing about how certain words were properly pronounced, in Klingon.

“So Renee, you going to tell us about some of your writings?" Chris inquired, sitting on the back railing.

“It's not much." I replied, trying to dismiss it. I felt odd talking about my own work.

“Come on, just tell us about one of them. Karl said you auditioned to get to ready to send them publishers which means you have at least one ready. " this time I flushed up.

“Well, I have one that deals with a young woman who has the ability to do magic in present time and has manage to catch the attention of an angry psychotic Greek deity." I explained the best I could.

“Sounds interesting. What kind of format is written in? First person? Third person?" Chris looked excited.

“It's in first person."

“You said you also wrote some screen plays." Karl asked, a twinkle in his eye. Or maybe it was just the lighting.

“Yes. That ones a little bit harder to describe." To be honest that one made me uncomfortable talking about. I grabbed the dirty dishes and went into the kitchen to catch a break. My anxiety was raising talking about my work. They were my babies and wasn't sure if I was ready for the world to read them.

“Hey, you okay?" Chris had followed me this time. I was not expecting that.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I looked over my should at him.

“You just made a quick exit when we were asking about your writing, that's all." He walked up behind me, his finger tips just barely touched the back of my arms. I wasn't sure what was going on but it was making me feel very uncomfortable. Not in a bad way but it wasn't something I was used to.

“I'm just not used to talking about it that's all." I turned around, facing him. He gave me a lopsided smile. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back outside."

He stepped to the side and allowed me to pass him. I was shaking lightly, I was not used to being that close to someone. I took a deep breath once outside and rejoined the conversations taking place.

The evening winded down, and everyone was leaving. Zoe hijacked the rest of the potato and macaroni salad. She begged Rosalyn to text her the rescipe, my sister conceded.

“So, kid, I'll see you on set Monday?" Karl asked as I walked him to his rental.

“Of course. Where else would be at 5am?" I smiled back at him.

“Rosalyn, amazing dinner." He remarked climbing in his car. She gave him thumbs up, as i walked back to our front porch.

“He likes you." She stated through her smile as we watched him leave.

“Whatever." We walked back in.

“You just couldn't tell me about Tom?"

“Try working with him, and not being able to tell you because you said no spoilers. And he's a spoiler." I point at her snickering.

“Yeah, still going to kill you for that." She made herself some tea.

“How's next weekend sound? I'm booked full this week." I replied, grabbing some water.

“Busy next weekend. Have your people contact my people."

5am came early, I dragged myself into the make up trailer feeling more tired then normal. It was a cold morning, causing my ankles it hurt painfully. I had fractured them both when I was younger, I dreaded winter every year.

“Morning kid!" Karl sat in the chair next to mine. I glanced over, he held out a coffee.

“You are a life saver." I announced, taking it from him.

“Noticed your sister was shooting you daggers most the evening the other day. What was that about?" He questioned in between sips of his coffee. "Hopefully we weren't a burden to her."

“No, not at all." I chuckled. "She just has the biggest crush on Tom, hence why I had him take the burgers out. I knew I'd never get another opportunity to do that to her again." He laughed hard in reply.

“So you ran with it? Aren't you sneaky, kid?" He laughed again, I chuckled watching him.

“Trust me, she deserves it." I watched as he recomposed himself. "She is my sister and with the teasing she's been putting me through nightly."

“Well, I happen to know he's single." He mused as we walked over to wardrobe.

“Really?" I chuckled as he held the door open. "And what are you implying, kind sir?"

“What I'm implying is we set them up. Cause I heard a little a birdy ranting and raving about your twin."

“Ooo, you have me intrigued." I giggled.

“What am I missing?" Chris popped out from one of the booths in wardrobe. A broad smile shot out when his eyes landed on me. "Morning Renee."

“How we are setting up Rosalyn and Tom." Karl replied getting into the booth.

“Count me in. Sounds like fun." Chris replied crossing his arms over his captains uniform.

“You two are worse then teenage girls." I jested. Going into the other booth.

The day ended with me in the gym, going through yet another fighting scene. Mike wasn't there, his wife had finally had her baby. So I was just going through the moves. Throwing kicks and dodging the invisible air persons punch. I had no idea how long Karl stood leaning up against the wall watching me. His arms crossed, a small smile across his face.

I caught him out of the corner of my eye. I kept going, feeling awkward. I had thrown some other moves that I thought worked and was running it out smoothly to show Mike in hopes of changing the Choreography. It looked cooler then the original choreography. I finally got done running that set and walked back to my starting point to run it again.

“You changed it kid." He pushed himself off the wall.

“Yeah, I thought it'd look better and it runs smoother. Not that I'm a choreographer." I stated as I started throwing punches. He took his shirt off and jogged over to me. He ducked my kick and relieved the invisible mans place.

“I would have to agree it looks better." He said racking my legs out from under me. I fell back and rolled out as he stomped down. It was odd dance, but none the less we moved like dancers. We hit the spot I had changed and I started calling out shots as we sparred.

It ended with him holding me down. Both of us breathing heavy drenched in sweat. I must admit there wasn't any where I'd rather be. Our eyes were locked, and for a breif moment there was complete silence. My heart pounded in my chest. A slow clap startled both of us.

“That was badass you guys." Pine's voice echoed in the room. Karl smiled, he stood puling me up off the ground. "I don't remember that fight scene though."

“Well that's cause she redid it and you should of recognized the first half of it. It's your fight."

“It is?"

“Yeah." I breathed hard trying to regain my breath. "I was working on it. The second half of it felt chunky, like it just didn't flow."

“Actually Chris, you should take a run with her on it." My head snapped over to

Karl. Sure I knew I was going to eventually have to work with Pine but I wasn't ready.

“You're right." He smirked taking slow confident steps to me. "Ready?"

Can I please say no? I thought to myself as I walked back to other end of the mat. Chris walking close behind me. I took a deep breath before I turned around to face him.

I threw the first punch full force, he ducked. And so began this awkward dance. I may have landed a punch or a kick but he didn't let on. When it came to the changed part I started calling out the shots like I had with Karl. It ended just like Karl and I had, me being pinned to the floor by Pine.

He stood quickly and walked back to the starting place.

@kitkatkl @octobermermaid @ajosieface

#karl ubran x ofc #karl urban #karl urban fanfic #badplan

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lovefortvmoviekillersandpsychos · 8 years ago

Audio

Imagine Reuniting With Jerome When He Comes Back When His Face Is First Stapled

The year without Jerome hard been hard. It was full of new villains and chaos of course, but it was his psychotic performance in everyday life that kept me going. So, I stopped my commitment to crime when he drew his last breath a year ago. It didn’t feel right to kill, maim, or torture without him my side. I took up singing and dancing as a complete distraction. It worked to an extent. Still the police had questioned me over the last few months, thinking I might be a part of the fanatics who seemed to worship Jerome. I stayed away from them and their plans. I wanted no part of that.

“Kids forever! Kids forever! Baby soft skin turns into leather!”

He had returned somehow. Those fanatics of his must’ve found a way. Seeing his face on the tv screen was a shock. Even more of a shock when he blew up the plant in Gotham that gave the city electricity. But what took the cake was when he showed up in my apartment not even an hour afterwards with a look of anger on his face.

“Where have you been Y/N?”

I said nothing as shock froze my vocal cords. Jerome’s look turned to a murderous glare as he looked around my apartment. He had a gun at hand and made his way to my record player. Turning it on and placing it on a random spot. It played on a song I had recently recorded and I winced at how sensitive the topic could be for Jerome.

“Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me, is it true that pain is beauty? Does a new face come with a warranty? Will a pretty face make it better? Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me How did you afford her surgery? Do you swear you'll stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Even if her face don't stay together”

Jerome’s face dissolved of any expression and he listened intently. His eyebrows scrunched together and he looked to in what I assume is confusion,

“This is your voice, Dollface.”

I nodded and let the song play, standing absolutely still. Jerome kept his eyes to my face,

“You aren’t with the group of people that brought me back, why?”

Taking a small breath, I stood straight,

“They...they aren’t you Jerome. They love what you do and even want to be you and follow you. But they aren’t what you do. They don’t do what we did. No one can. I couldn’t stand them honestly. I even almost executed a plan to kill them all at once.”

Jerome nodded in acceptance of my explanation,

“And what have you been doing the entire year I’ve been, Sweet Cheeks?”

“You’re listening to it, J. It’s not the only song I’ve done. Some were inspired by the recent villains and events, but most were from my own mind.”

Placing the gun on my coffee table, Jerome rushed at me putting his hands on either side of my face and staring into my eyes.

“Did you miss me Y/N?”

“Every moment. Couldn’t get out of my bed for the first two months, I tried to get back to our order of things, but nothing would do without you. So, I stopped. I put all my energy to something completely different from killing and I make money off of my voice.”

He brought his face close to mine before jerking away then regaining control,

“What about me face? This song of yours, it is good. I am your Mrs. Potato Head so to say. So, are you still mine? Are you still my Dollface?”

I smiled at Jerome then with an intent I hadn’t felt in a year,

“Yes.”

“Even with my face like this?”

“Of course. In fact, you look just as attractive. You are still the same, but different on the inside. It doesn’t matter to me how you look on the outside Jerome.”

One of his hands grabbed my hair tight in a fist and pushed me to his lips. Every feeling was the same. Every sensation and thought never changed. His face not being the same made no difference. My arms wrapped behind his neck, pulling him closer to me and removing any space between us. He had his answer. I’d always be his.

“Do you swear you'll stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Stay forever, stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Stay forever, stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Stay forever, stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Stay forever, stay forever Even if her face don't stay together”

#jerome x reader #jerome valeska #jerome valeska imagines #jerome valeska imagine #gotham season 3 #gotham imagines #Gotham villains #mrs potato head

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lifepros · 8 years ago

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#307

Stress management (lessons learned from a usaf fighter pilot)

Stress Management:

Stress is not a feeling, an emotion, a mood. Stop treating it like one. It's a physical thing that happens to your body. It's your body saying "something is wrong, fix it." Symptoms of stress/anxiety include things that can be measured by doctors, such as weight gain, lack of sleep, blood pressure issues, acne, hair loss, etc. Many people try to treat stress as a feeling, and do things to make them feel better, like yoga, workout, have sex, go to the gun range, or buy little stress balls that they squeeze when they feel stressed. This is the incorrect way to deal with stress.

Think of stress as financial stress. What is financial stress? You have too much to pay for and not enough money. If you were financially stressed and I told you I could make you feel better about it by selling you a squeeze ball for 20 bucks, would you fall for that garbage? I hope not.

This is how stress stacks up on your life: Imagine a graph. There is an invisible line somewhere on it going straight, horizontally, all the way across. That is your personal "stress threshold". Literally everything that you have to do in your life is a stressor. Imagine them as blocks stacking up on top of each other. Some are bigger than others. The closer you get to your threshold, the more stressed you feel. If you do not prevent them from crossing that threshold, you will enter depression, which is your body saying "screw it, you won't fix it, I'll just shut everything down until it works itself out.", much like how if you're freezing to death in the woods your body starts shutting down to save the vital organs, but you will still eventually freeze to death anyways. Think of stress as you shivering when it's cold, and depression as your body shutting down to preserve vital organs.

So, this is THE way to manage stress: You manage it. The pilot giving the training said to make a list, either mentally or literally, of EVERYTHING that stresses you out. Next, look at the list and see what you can actually take care of right then and there, and start knocking things off the list. You will literally be removing stress from your life. You ever wonder why people say they feel like their "load is lighter" or "weight has been lifted off their shoulders" after they complete a task? Because it has. Ever wonder why people say they feel good after mowing the lawn, or going to the gym, or whatever? It's because they've actually removed a stress block from their life. They've done something. Often times, people try to manage stress by drinking tea, or doing yoga, or doing things that simulate to their mind that they're accomplishing something, when really they're just tricking their brain into releasing the chemical that it does when you actually get something done. The REAL way is to actually identify the things that stress you out, and REMOVE them from your pile of stressors.

When you make your list, literally write out everything. Pretty much if you think about something and say "Oh crap, I have to do that.", it's a stressor. Everything from brushing your teeth in the morning, to changing that light bulb in the laundry room, to gassing up your car, to studying for that test, to out-processing for that deployment, to going to that job interview, etc etc. Write them down, look at it, and think "Oh shoot, I could just change that lightbulb right now. I could mow the lawn. I could fix that door hinge." Do this and you will be on your way to becoming more productive and less stressed. I've been doing this for years now and it works GREAT. It's how these fighter pilots manage their personal lives and flying a stupid fast war machine in combat. There have been a few times where I did still get too stressed out, but it was because I literally just had too much on my plate that was beyond my control, but since I understood how stress works, I was able to still get ahold of it and break myself out of the slight depression I had slipped into.

FURTHER NOTES:

Types of stress:

-Residual Stress (AKA Emotional Baggage): This type of stress cannot be eliminated, or is VERY difficult to remove. It is things that have happened to you in the past that you drag with you forever. They feel like things you need to "fix", but since they're locked in the past, you can't do anything about them, so they cause your stress pile to start out a little higher no matter what you do. You fell on your face that one time at school, or your parents never loved you, or you got stage fright that one time, etc etc. Some people have more than others, and it just always eats at the back of your mind. I have found an awesome way to get over this, but it is using my interpretation of the "heathen worldview", which is another tip for another time.

-Reoccurring Stress: These are things that pop up on a reoccurring basis, such as daily chores, bills, house or work maintenance, etc. They are usually small stressors for people, but since they pop up often, they're always needing to be removed anyways. People often shrug these off, but they can sneak up on you. If you don't take care of the small things, the big things will stack higher, faster. Ever heard the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back"? That straw was probably a Reoccurring Stressor.

-Time Sensitive Stress: These are stressors that are hanging over your head but cannot be taken care of yet. Your college finals. Job interviews. Upcoming vacation. Etc. They are among the hardest for me to deal with, because they are there, but you can't do them yet. The way to reduce their impact is to ensure you are knocking out the easier stress blocks in the meantime. Change that lightbulb, get your car serviced, mail that package, etc. Another way is to recognize the precursors to that Time Sensitive Stressor, like studying for the college finals, or preparing for the job interview. You will still be knocking things out, being productive, removing stress, and will be better prepared for the TSS when it does arrive.

A note on Depression:

This part of the training has to basically alienate a specific group of people. If you are clinically depressed, then this method may not help you manage your depression because your brain works differently. Depression is where you haven't removed enough stress blocks and so your body says "screw it". The danger here is that it will remove your energy, motiviation, etc. By understanding this, you will be able to get back in the saddle, remove some stressors, and get your life back under control. The pilot/instructor went deeply into the phases of depression, and what is known as a "psychotic break". Depending on where you are in your depression when you hit your psychotic break, you will lash out in a certain way. Example: if you're in "inner", you will hurt/kill yourself. If you're in "outer", you will hurt/kill someone else. But what makes it a "psychotic break" is that is will be completely bizarre. The example he used was Brittney Spears shaving her head vs. the NASA officer who went to Florida to kidnap her boyfriend's lover. Brittney Spears had much less stress on her life, yet she flew through all the stages of depression and basically hit her psychotic break at a point that caused her to just completely snap and shave her head. The NASA officer underwent a TREMENDOUSLY stressful entire life before finally lashing out at a person who made little to no impact on her overall life. It basically demonstrated how much some people can mentally endure compared to others, and how failure to manage it can cause serious problems.

A story of my usage of this training:

I'll make it quick. I was a SSGt in USAF. I was in college full time also. I had orders to the desert. I was a crew lead at my base for my specific job. I had finals for college coming up. In that same week, I had WAPS testing, which is how USAF enlisted troops test for rank. It's a big deal. I ALSO had to out-process for my deployment that week (anyone in can attest to what a stupid pain in the ass that can be). I was super stressed and it got to be too much. But I understood how stress worked. I couldn't make my finals come sooner, nor my WAPS test. Out-processing could be done during work hours. But I still had to lead my crew, which entailed all kinds of bullcrap. So here's what I did. First thing first, I told another NCO on my crew "Listen man, you're an NCO, you know the ropes, you're the crew lead now." I literally just dumped part of my plate onto his, but he was trained/qualified/capable of doing it, and that's literally what he was there for was to lead the crew if I wasn't around. So I just made him the primary and I took the alternate slot. A huge stressor gone. Next, I ensured all my little stuff was taken care of, such as chores/ honey-do's around the house. After that, I made sure I had a dedicated time for WAPS and college studying, so that that stressor didn't bleed into my thoughts all the time. Finally, I made out-processing my primary concern during the work day, so no work-related stressors could pile up. All I had to do was make appointments and knock things off a checklist. This literally saved me from becoming overwhelmed and let me make it through the ordeal. When it was all said and done I did great on my college finals, I didn't make rank (that's OK though, the cutoff score was high for my career that year), and I got to the desert (and back) in one piece. Thanks random fighter pilot on instructor TDY!

Anyways, I hope this helps someone. It has gotten me through a lot, and I share it whenever I can. Take care everyone!

#tips and tricks #lifehack #life pros #life pro tips #life advice

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roinish · 8 years ago

Link

Long story short: I was forced to go through stress management training during my enlistment, given by an active duty fighter pilot. Turned out to be the best training I've ever been through. I don't have his slides, so my version will be the abbreviated one. Also, I have added some things like analogies and such that helped me understand things better. I'm going to fit the real meat and potatoes of the training into the first section, then afterwards I might into more detailed descriptions of this or that. It's gonna be long winded, but if anything just get the middle section read and you'll be good to go.Stress Management:Stress is not a feeling, an emotion, a mood. Stop treating it like one. It's a physical thing that happens to your body. It's your body saying "something is wrong, fix it." Symptoms of stress/anxiety include things that can be measured by doctors, such as weight gain, lack of sleep, blood pressure issues, acne, hair loss, etc. Many people try to treat stress as a feeling, and do things to make them feel better, like yoga, workout, have sex, go to the gun range, or buy little stress balls that they squeeze when they feel stressed. This is the incorrect way to deal with stress.Think of stress as financial stress. What is financial stress? You have too much to pay for and not enough money. If you were financially stressed and I told you I could make you feel better about it by selling you a squeeze ball for 20 bucks, would you fall for that garbage? I hope not.This is how stress stacks up on your life: Imagine a graph. There is an invisible line somewhere on it going straight, horizontally, all the way across. That is your personal "stress threshold". Literally everything that you have to do in your life is a stressor. Imagine them as blocks stacking up on top of each other. Some are bigger than others. The closer you get to your threshold, the more stressed you feel. If you do not prevent them from crossing that threshold, you will enter depression, which is your body saying "screw it, you won't fix it, I'll just shut everything down until it works itself out.", much like how if you're freezing to death in the woods your body starts shutting down to save the vital organs, but you will still eventually freeze to death anyways. Think of stress as you shivering when it's cold, and depression as your body shutting down to preserve vital organs.So, this is THE way to manage stress: You manage it. The pilot giving the training said to make a list, either mentally or literally, of EVERYTHING that stresses you out. Next, look at the list and see what you can actually take care of right then and there, and start knocking things off the list. You will literally be removing stress from your life. You ever wonder why people say they feel like their "load is lighter" or "weight has been lifted off their shoulders" after they complete a task? Because it has. Ever wonder why people say they feel good after mowing the lawn, or going to the gym, or whatever? It's because they've actually removed a stress block from their life. They've done something. Often times, people try to manage stress by drinking tea, or doing yoga, or doing things that simulate to their mind that they're accomplishing something, when really they're just tricking their brain into releasing the chemical that it does when you actually get something done. The REAL way is to actually identify the things that stress you out, and REMOVE them from your pile of stressors.When you make your list, literally write out everything. Pretty much if you think about something and say "Oh crap, I have to do that.", it's a stressor. Everything from brushing your teeth in the morning, to changing that light bulb in the laundry room, to gassing up your car, to studying for that test, to out-processing for that deployment, to going to that job interview, etc etc. Write them down, look at it, and think "Oh shoot, I could just change that lightbulb right now. I could mow the lawn. I could fix that door hinge." Do this and you will be on your way to becoming more productive and less stressed. I've been doing this for years now and it works GREAT. It's how these fighter pilots manage their personal lives and flying a stupid fast war machine in combat. There have been a few times where I did still get too stressed out, but it was because I literally just had too much on my plate that was beyond my control, but since I understood how stress works, I was able to still get ahold of it and break myself out of the slight depression I had slipped into.FURTHER NOTES:Types of stress:-Residual Stress (AKA Emotional Baggage): This type of stress cannot be eliminated, or is VERY difficult to remove. It is things that have happened to you in the past that you drag with you forever. They feel like things you need to "fix", but since they're locked in the past, you can't do anything about them, so they cause your stress pile to start out a little higher no matter what you do. You fell on your face that one time at school, or your parents never loved you, or you got stage fright that one time, etc etc. Some people have more than others, and it just always eats at the back of your mind. I have found an awesome way to get over this, but it is using my interpretation of the "heathen worldview", which is another tip for another time.-Reoccurring Stress: These are things that pop up on a reoccurring basis, such as daily chores, bills, house or work maintenance, etc. They are usually small stressors for people, but since they pop up often, they're always needing to be removed anyways. People often shrug these off, but they can sneak up on you. If you don't take care of the small things, the big things will stack higher, faster. Ever heard the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back"? That straw was probably a Reoccurring Stressor.-Time Sensitive Stress: These are stressors that are hanging over your head but cannot be taken care of yet. Your college finals. Job interviews. Upcoming vacation. Etc. They are among the hardest for me to deal with, because they are there, but you can't do them yet. The way to reduce their impact is to ensure you are knocking out the easier stress blocks in the meantime. Change that lightbulb, get your car serviced, mail that package, etc. Another way is to recognize the precursors to that Time Sensitive Stressor, like studying for the college finals, or preparing for the job interview. You will still be knocking things out, being productive, removing stress, and will be better prepared for the TSS when it does arrive.A note on Depression:This part of the training has to basically alienate a specific group of people. If you are clinically depressed, then this method may not help you manage your depression because your brain works differently. Depression is where you haven't removed enough stress blocks and so your body says "screw it". The danger here is that it will remove your energy, motiviation, etc. By understanding this, you will be able to get back in the saddle, remove some stressors, and get your life back under control. The pilot/instructor went deeply into the phases of depression, and what is known as a "psychotic break". Depending on where you are in your depression when you hit your psychotic break, you will lash out in a certain way. Example: if you're in "inner", you will hurt/kill yourself. If you're in "outer", you will hurt/kill someone else. But what makes it a "psychotic break" is that is will be completely bizarre. The example he used was Brittney Spears shaving her head vs. the NASA officer who went to Florida to kidnap her boyfriend's lover. Brittney Spears had much less stress on her life, yet she flew through all the stages of depression and basically hit her psychotic break at a point that caused her to just completely snap and shave her head. The NASA officer underwent a TREMENDOUSLY stressful entire life before finally lashing out at a person who made little to no impact on her overall life. It basically demonstrated how much some people can mentally endure compared to others, and how failure to manage it can cause serious problems.A story of my usage of this training:I'll make it quick. I was a SSGt in USAF. I was in college full time also. I had orders to the desert. I was a crew lead at my base for my specific job. I had finals for college coming up. In that same week, I had WAPS testing, which is how USAF enlisted troops test for rank. It's a big deal. I ALSO had to out-process for my deployment that week (anyone in can attest to what a stupid pain in the ass that can be). I was super stressed and it got to be too much. But I understood how stress worked. I couldn't make my finals come sooner, nor my WAPS test. Out-processing could be done during work hours. But I still had to lead my crew, which entailed all kinds of bullcrap. So here's what I did. First thing first, I told another NCO on my crew "Listen man, you're an NCO, you know the ropes, you're the crew lead now." I literally just dumped part of my plate onto his, but he was trained/qualified/capable of doing it, and that's literally what he was there for was to lead the crew if I wasn't around. So I just made him the primary and I took the alternate slot. A huge stressor gone. Next, I ensured all my little stuff was taken care of, such as chores/ honey-do's around the house. After that, I made sure I had a dedicated time for WAPS and college studying, so that that stressor didn't bleed into my thoughts all the time. Finally, I made out-processing my primary concern during the work day, so no work-related stressors could pile up. All I had to do was make appointments and knock things off a checklist. This literally saved me from becoming overwhelmed and let me make it through the ordeal. When it was all said and done I did great on my college finals, I didn't make rank (that's OK though, the cutoff score was high for my career that year), and I got to the desert (and back) in one piece. Thanks random fighter pilot on instructor TDY!Anyways, I hope this helps someone. It has gotten me through a lot, and I share it whenever I can. Take care everyone! via /r/LifeProTips

#IFTTT #reddit

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thorias · 8 years ago

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Random thoughts watching Riverdale episode 6

First thing we see is Betty and Polly as kids. There goes the Polly-is-Betty’s-split-personality theory, I guess. It was a long shot anyway.

Alice is the first character to draw attention to how bizarre Jughead’s name is. Nice try, Alice, but I still hate you.

Delivering on all the build up Polly has had is going to be tough. I’m thinking about what Polly could be like and imagining everything from Norma Bates to Patrick Bateman.

I think a big reason why the story about Archie and his music doesn’t feel terribly compelling is because it’s too reminiscent of the comics, whereas everything and everyone else has been so heavily reimagined. We’ve got this Polly story and how it all connects to the murder mystery and it’s pretty fascinating stuff, but then we cut over to Archie having stage fright in a variety show, and it’s not bad, but I just want them to go back to the murder mystery because this part seems so unimportant by comparison. As much as I disliked the Grundy plot, it was the only thing Archie had that was as twisted as the other big plots on the show. Without it, he’s rather boring right now.

Archie hallucinating people wearing wolf masks gets my attention, but Betty’s already got the ‘mentally unbalanced’ storyline wired and he’s got a long way to go to catch up to her.

Reggie heckles Archie after Archie let him have the captain’s job on the football team last week. Because Reggie is a dick.

Archie asking Val to sing with him at the show seems like a reasonable request and her excuse doesn’t really hold water. She “can’t step out on the Pussycats?” He’s not asking you too, sweety. If your band is already performing at the show, fine. Is there any reason you can’t do both? I wouldn’t put it passed Josie to try to put a stop to that, but Josie seemed cool with Archie after he helped them with that song, so where’s the issue here?

Polly’s “group home” sounds less like a hospital for the mentally ill and more like a puritanical reformed school. Yeah, that seems like a place Alice Cooper would send her daughter to.

Veronica ‘ex machina’ Lodge is a thing now. I was trying to come up with a nickname for her, so how nice of her to do the work for me.

Thirty seconds into a Pussycats practice session and it seems that Josie is huge a control freak. Weird that Josie is the one credited as a regular cast member, yet Val is the one emerging as the more likable character and has had more screen time at this point too.

Josie says Val can sing with Pussycats or Archie, but not both. Apparently, Archie helping the band with that song meant nothing to her. First Reggie and now Josie -- the short term memory loss seems to be spreading. I’m dangerously close to feeling bad for Archie here.

The look on Josie’s face has me cheering Val for calling her bluff and walking out.

Veronica stumbling upon her mom making out with Archie’s dad has me torn. On the one hand, it’s so awkward, I can’t look away. On the other, the kid in me who read the comics is fashioning a crude crucifix and waving it around in utter horror that likely mirrors Veronica’s.

Archie is surprisingly cool with his dad potentially dating Hermione. Yeah, Archie is suddenly the well-adjusted one. How did that happen?

Wait a minute. Val writes the Pussycats’ songs? Then maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to practically kick her out of the band, Josie! Dumbass.

So Josie was stressing because her big shot musician dad is taking time out of his busy schedule to come visit and see the show, but if it sucks, her mom will get blamed for it? FFS, that’s ANOTHER kid with insane parents! I’m starting to think the luckiest ones on this show might be the kids being brought up by only one adult. Archie, Veronica and Kevin have no idea how fortunate they are.

Josie certainly makes a lot more sense now that I’ve seen her with her mom. It’s crazy how so many of the problems the kids on this show have can be directly blamed on the people raising them.

“What about dad?” Veronica asks her mom, as if her dad being in prison and causing his wife to become a social pariah didn’t likely cause the end of their marriage already. Ronnie didn’t really think they were going to work things out, did she?

Archie is quick to swap Veronica out for Val as his singing partner, which is kind of a dick move. But then Veronica fires back by being a jerk about his dad and her mom kissing. Archie then stumbles onto the topic of his parents being separated and Hiram’s biggest romantic concern these days being to make sure he doesn’t drop the soap in the shower. So I guess the upshot of this scene is that they’re both being assholes and Val is the only nice one simply because she was the only person smart enough to keep her mouth shut.

“Garden of Deliverance?” Yeah, that doesn’t conjure up any horror imagery at all. Are we adding religious thriller tropes to the mix now?

At least Alice didn’t force an abortion on Polly, but sending your child to mental institution/religious-themed prison seems pretty damn cruel. Then again, having seen what lunatics Cheryl’s parents are, maybe Alice had the right idea by taking steps to make sure they don’t find out that Polly is carrying Jason’s progeny. At this point, I wouldn’t put it passed Mrs. Blossom to try to cut Junior out of Polly’s belly with a spork.

I might believe that Jason only broke up with Polly because his parents forced him too, but the idilic future Polly said they had in store for them sounds downright psychotic. I knew people back in high school who became parents at this age and... let’s just say that it working out as perfectly as Polly describes is pretty freaking unlikely.

Polly not being taken away until July 4th feels a bit awkward. I was under the impression that she’d been gone longer than that. But her being dragged into a van against her will isn’t exactly helping with the allusions to Polly basically being a prisoner here.

In the blink of an eye, Polly turns the crazy up to eleven and it’s a little disturbing. Yeah, she definitely needs to be in a hospital, but I’m not entirely sure that’s what this place is.

First Josie gets pissed at Val for singing (god forbid someone in a band try to do that) and now she’s pissed at Veronica for NOT signing? This girl has no idea what she wants.

Veronica is upset that she hasn’t seen her dad in three months. Man, that really makes you think. So many of the parents on this show are out of their damn minds, but they still get to walk around free, so what exactly did Hiram do that was bad enough to land him in prison? Cannibalism? Murder/suicide cult? I’m guessing it was a wee bit more extreme than embezzlement or whatever the excuse they gave us in the pilot was.

Archie and Val actually sound good together. See, Archie? This is what a healthy relationship with a female looks like.

Alice was definitely being cruel by not telling Polly that Jason was dead, but considering how quickly Polly’s mental stability just shattered like stale potato chips, keeping her in the dark may have been the lesser of two evils.

Fred, Hermione, Archie, Josie, Josie’s control freak mom and her arrogant asshole dad are all having dinner and the tension is thick enough to kill a horse. Should they just call for an ambulance now or wait for someone to draw blood first?

Betty straight up asks her dad if he killed Jason. I’m surprised they’re playing that card this early, but I guess red herrings aren’t meant to last long.

Oh shit! Don’t use the “C” word around Betty! Even at the best of times, she’s one bad day away from breaking out that Darth Betty wig and going to town on this whole cast with a meat cleaver. Why tempt fate?

I wouldn’t put it passed Josie’s parents to not give Archie’s dad the contract simply out of spite for his son luring Val away from Josie’s band. That’s not the reason they give him, but that’s probably what it’s really about. At any rate, those two are world class pricks for coming to dinner with him and letting him go through that whole presentation just to tell him that the contract was already given to someone else.

Hermione is trying to get Fred the contract, which is self-serving, but also a really nice thing to do considering the way Hiram wanted to go was undoubtedly a lot shadier, but Veronica refuses to put her signature on the thing because she doesn’t like her mom dating someone. This is one of those rare occasions in Riverdale when the parent is actually more likable than the kid. I get that Veronica is upset about this, but seeing as her dad has most likely spent the last several months behind bars being someone’s bitch, maybe she should give her mom a break.

Archie tells Val she should perform with the Pussycats. I think he’s trying to do the right thing here, but doesn’t this mean that he just dicked with Veronica a second time since she just replaced Val in the Pussycats and Val coming back will make her a fifth wheel?

“They’re parents. They’re all crazy.” On this show? Yeah. Truer words have never been spoken in Riverdale.

JUGHEAD KISSES BETTY?!?! WTF IS GOING ON?!?! THE ONLY WAY THIS HAPPENS IS IF HE’S IMAGINING A HAMBURGER WHERE HER FACE SHOULD BE!! FUCK THIS!! THESE WRITERS KNOW NOTHING!!

The Pussycats sing a cover of some disco song at the variety show. Wasn’t them not doing other people’s songs a big thing for them? I’m pretty sure there was a line in the pilot about that.

Poor Veronica looks like she feels really out of place onstage with the Pussycats and I feel bad for her. Sure, she’s been a jerk at times in this episode, but she’s been jerked around by other people just as much.

The Pussycats give a great performance which Josie’s musical snob dad leaves in the middle of. Because Josie’s dad is a jackass.

Archie and Veronica apologizing to each other was sweet. Something I’m noticing with Grundy gone now is that, while Archie continues to screw up pretty regularly, his mistakes are becoming less severe and he’s getting quicker at trying to fix them.

Archie has to follow the Pussycats on top of battling stage fright. They really threw this poor schmuck into the deep end head first, didn’t they? Did Reggie choose the order of these acts by any chance?

Awww, Betty feels bad that she’s missing Archie’s song. This girl is so pure that she has me absolutely dreading her inevitable psychotic episode. Crazy does seem to run in her family after all.

Archie does really well and gets a standing ovation. Because no matter how many times he screws up, I guess it wouldn’t be Riverdale if everyone in town wasn’t in love with this guy. But, hey, he had a personal problem that didn’t involve statutory rape and he overcame it. I call that progress.

So what was that stuff with the wolf masks all about?

How long is Veronica going to be passive aggressively giving her mom shit for this thing with Fred Andrews? I’d tell her to be realistic about the chances of her parents getting back together, but this is apparently some wacko, bizarro world, parallel universe where Jughead likes girls, so clearly the writers have checked realism at the door.

Polly escaping the mental hospital (or whatever it is we’re calling that place) seriously plays like the beginning of a slasher flick. But she jumped out of a second or third story window, heavily pregnant. How far could she possibly have gotten?

My newest theory is that Polly killed Jason and then convinced herself that it never happened because, you know, she's fucking nuts.

#archie andrews #betty cooper #polly cooper #josie and the pussycats #1x06 #faster pussycats kill kill #riverdale

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usatrendingsports · 7 years ago

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NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 12 predictions: Match card, breakdown full PPV preview

With future WWE Corridor of Famer Chris Jericho leaping ship to Japan for a red-hot feud towards Kenny Omega, extra eyes will likely be on New Japan Professional-Wrestling’s model of WrestleMania than any yr in latest reminiscence. Omega-Jericho will function one half of a twin foremost occasion at Thursday morning’s Wrestle Kingdom 12 card from the Tokyo Dome (2 a.m. ET, stay stream on NJPWworld.com).

The present is predicted to be a serious a part of NJPW’s present North American enlargement, which incorporates the featured push of many English-speaking American and Canadian stars like Omega, Cody (nee Rhodes), the Younger Bucks and now Jericho. The enlargement will proceed in March when NJPW returns to the US for the second straight yr with a card set in Lengthy Seashore, California.

What is not recognized is whether or not Jericho will likely be a part of that U.S. present. The longtime WWE star, who introduced his NJPW signing in stunning style in November, is reportedly a free agent once more after Friday’s New Yr Sprint card (which is akin to WWE’s Uncooked after WrestleMania). One has to wonder if Thursday’s card, and the way nicely it’s obtained or how a lot enjoyable Jericho has within the Tokyo Dome, will play a component in his choice making.

For a lot of North American professional wrestling followers, this week will mark their first time viewing an NJPW pay-per-view present. Let’s take a more in-depth take a look at every match, what’s at stake and what to anticipate.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 12 predictions

New Japan Rumble: Just like WWE’s Royal Rumble, this match encompasses a new shock entrant each jiffy. The important thing distinction between this and WWE’s format is that wrestlers will be eradicated by way of pinfall and submission in Japan, in addition to being thrown excessive rope. NJPW would not announce the members prematurely, making a prediction unimaginable. However the high quality of wrestling usually is not the sturdy due to what number of growing old legends participate. Final yr’s match, gained by present star Michael Elgin in his return from harm, featured 14 members together with nostalgic names Billy Gunn, Jyushin “Thunder” Liger, Tiger Masks and Scott Norton. Choose: None

IWGP Jr. Tag Staff Championship — Roppongi 3K (c) vs. The Younger Bucks: After the amicable breakup of Beretta and Rocky Romero in September because the tag group Roppongi Vice, Romero moved right into a managerial position and introduced a brand new group. Consisting of Sho Tanaka and Yohei Kamatsu, Roppongi 3K (named after Romero’s declare that they had been “Three,000 instances higher than Roppongi Vice) made a shock reveal at October’s King of Professional-Wrestling PPV and defeated Ricochet and Ryusuke Taguchi for the belts. The duo additional established itself as legit by successful November’s Tremendous Junior Tag Match. After the match, 3K was challenged by The Younger Bucks, who’ve dominated the division since their 2013 NJPW debut, holding the belts six instances. Contemplating what number of instances the Bucks and Roppongi Vice have traded the titles lately, this has all of the making to be the beginning of an thrilling spin-off feud with 3K, that includes no scarcity of high-flying spots between the 2 greatest junior heavyweight tag groups. However with the belts’ sizzling potato historical past of late, that includes six title modifications in 2017, it is a good wager that the Bucks will exit as seven-time champions. Choose: The Younger Bucks win the titles

NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Staff Championship — Bullet Membership (c) vs. Chaos vs. Michael Elgin & Struggle Machine vs. Suzuki-gun vs. Taguchi Japan: Thursday marks the two-year anniversary of the titles’ creation, which has included 14 separate championship reigns. Representing Bullet Membership, the trio of Unhealthy Luck Fale, Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa are lower than one month into their first. This gauntlet-style match can also be anticipated to be the ultimate NJPW look for Struggle Machine, who’re rumored to be signing with WWE. Anticipate chaos and physicality on this one, involving a number of with WWE connections. Tonga and Loa (previously Camacho in WWE) are the sons of former WWE star Haku. In the meantime, Zach Sabre Jr. of Suzuki-gun was a standout within the 2016 WWE Cruiserweight Traditional, and Juice Robinson of Taguchi Japan was previously often called CJ Parker in NXT. Choose: Bullet Membership retain their titles

Cody vs. Kota Ibushi (Particular Single Match): This one misplaced the luster of being contested for the Ring of Honor title when Cody dropped the belt to Dalton Citadel in December. However that does not rob from its potential to steal the present. Ibushi, recognized to American followers for his run within the WWE Cruiserweight Traditional, made a case for inclusion because the world’s greatest in-ring performer this summer time throughout NJPW’s G1 Climax event. Cody, in the meantime, has grow to be one of many prime unbiased stars on this planet since asking WWE for his launch in 2016 and a serious participant in Bullet Membership.

Jericho’s late addition to the cardboard doubtless means Cody took the spot initially meant for Omega, who was a former tag group associate and rival of Ibushi with Japan’s DDT promotion. However he made positive so as to add sufficient juice to the storyline at December’s World Tag League PPV when he hit Ibushi with a very stiff Cross Rhodes on the stage. The regular teasing over 2017 rising riff between Cody and Omega has been constructing inside Bullet Membership might grow to be an element right here. So, too, might a five-star match as Cody proved towards IWGP heavyweight champion Kazuchika Okada ultimately years’s NJPW G1 Particular in USA card that he can increase his sport to ranges above what he has proven in WWE. Choose: Ibushi wins

IWGP Tag Staff Championship — Killer Elite Squad (c) vs. SANADA & EVIL: Fronted by G1 winner Tetsuya Naito, the previous 12 months have been huge for the Los Ignobernables de Japon (LIJ) faction. SANADA and EVIL have been no exception in that regard. The duo twice had been a part of six-man tag group championship reigns and every raised their inventory significantly with performances on the G1. As a conventional tag group, in addition they gained final month’s World Tag League event, successful the A Block earlier than defeating Tonga and Loa within the remaining. There is not any cause to recommend that momentum slows down right here, particularly with KES having closed 2017 with the longest reign (96 days) of titles that change fingers usually. If Lance Archer’s identify sounds acquainted, he wrestled in WWE’s ECW reboot as Vance Archer and the huge, 6-foot-5 Davey Boy Smith Jr. is the son of the late British Bulldog. Choose: SANADA & EVIL win the titles

NEVER Openweight Championship (Hair vs. Hair Match) — Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Hirooki Goto: With two wins over Goto in 2017, together with his title victory in April, Suzuki turned down Goto’s a number of requests for yet one more title match. It in the end took a pair of Goto victories in non-title bouts over Suzuki and Goto’s willingness to place his hair on the road for the psychotic, 49-year-old legend to just accept (and conform to put his personal distinctive locks at stake). Any match involving this model of the maniacal Suzuki, an MMA pioneer within the early 1990s who as soon as beat Ken Shamrock, is value watching and his performances on the G1 had been among the many greatest within the event. The construct to this one has additionally been enjoyable, together with Suzuki’s failed try to trim Goto’s hair with clippers forward of time (which ended with him shaving a younger boy). Per Suzuki’s insistence, no seconds for both wrestler will likely be allowed at ringside, which might in the end play towards his pure heel tendencies. Choose: Goto wins the title

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship (Four-Manner Match) — Marty Scurll (c) vs. Will Ospreay vs. KUSHIDA vs. Hiromu Takahashi: The final three males to carry the junior heavyweight title earlier than Scurll gained it in November will get a recent shot on the gold in a match that must be off the charts by way of large spots. That is additionally the primary Four-way title match within the belt’s 32-year historical past. Ospreay, a local of England, is simply 24 and among the many most acrobatic and thrilling performers on this planet. He’s additionally a longtime rival of KUSHIDA, whose “Time Splitter” gimmick is a tongue-in-cheek knockoff of the character Marty McFly from “Again to the Future.” In reality, this match melds a number of juicy rivalries into one, as every member bodily tried to cease the opposite from making an official problem of Scurll within the buildup. Britain’s Scurll is doing one of the best work of his profession for the time being. And do not be shocked if the presence of his Bullet Membership mates performs a component within the end. Choose: Scurll retains the title

IWGP Intercontinental Championship — Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Switchblade: Returning to NJPW for the primary time since 2016, Jay White made fairly a press release in November by difficult Tanahashi earlier than attacking him. He additionally debuted his new edgy “Switchblade” character, clad in a black leather-based jacket. White’s push exhibits the type of confidence the corporate has within the 25-year-old from New Zealand, who was given the mysterious vignette therapy for the earlier three months earlier than his reveal. White has a golden alternative to recover from as a heel contemplating he is dealing with the veteran Tanahashi, who at 41 has put forth a protracted babyface profession on prime that is akin in WWE to John Cena. He has additionally routinely labored via severe accidents, together with the grueling G1 event the place he made a run to the A Block finals with just about one working arm. At the moment slowed by a knee harm, this appears like the precise time for NJPW to seek out out whether or not White is actually a breakout star within the making, able to changing into a think about its North American push. Choose: Switchblade wins the title

IWGP U.S. Heavyweight Championship (No Disqualification Match) — Kenny Omega (c) vs. Chris Jericho: With all due respect to everybody else on the cardboard, that is the explanation many within the U.S. are so prepared to set their alarms at an ungodly hour to observe an web stream from midway the world over. It isn’t a stretch to name Omega, a local of Canada, one of the best wrestler on this planet after authoring fairly probably the best calendar yr of in-ring work within the historical past of the style. Omega is NJPW’s most dear asset to the thought of competing with WWE from a crucial standpoint and faces the right dance associate in Jericho, 47, who brings with him legendary expertise and the legitimacy of business enchantment.

The construct to the match was as easy and uncooked because it was sensible. A Jericho vignette shocked Omega at a November PPV, difficult him for his U.S. championship. One month later, Jericho brutally attacked him from behind and left him bloodied. The next day, the 2 brawled at a press convention producing depth that was electrical. Billed as “Alpha vs. Omega,” pairing one of the best on this planet towards one of the best of all-time, the match might find yourself being the right marriage between Omega’s big-spot model and Jericho’s storytelling because of the no DQ stipulation and the expectations it can really feel like an actual combat.

Despite the fact that each enter as heels, Jericho has reinvented his character so brilliantly as a psychopath that Omega has obtained babyface cheers. When you think about Omega’s star energy and the plans NJPW has for him, seeing him retain is the almost certainly situation. That’s, until Jericho, who appeared to tease a future program with Tetsuya Naito on Twitter, plans on hanging round lengthy sufficient to help the North American enlargement. Choose: Jericho wins the title

IWGP Heavyweight Championship — Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Tetsuya Naito: Whereas the “actual” foremost occasion has been overshadowed by Jericho’s late addition to the cardboard, this one has all of the makings to be a traditional simply the identical. Backed by an unimaginable storyline, it is the potential for in-ring magic that simply would possibly current the largest enchantment. Each males achieved close to perfection in 2017 matches towards Omega (together with a trio with Okada that redefined how nice wrestling will be) and after a protracted construct, they will lastly do enterprise towards each other.

The story is one in every of real-life redemption. Naito, who is likely to be greatest described in WWE phrases as Roman Reigns if he turned heel, defeated Omega within the G1 remaining to safe the shot within the Wrestle Kingdom foremost occasion. 4 years earlier, Naito additionally gained the G1 to earn a shot at then champion Okada however was denied a foremost occasion slot at Wrestle Kingdom after NJPW, fearful Naito wasn’t over sufficient as babyface, allowed the followers to vote for which match would shut.

After taking his profession to Mexico in 2015 and becoming a member of the heel Los Ingoberales secure, Naito returned to NJPW as a villain and based the LIJ faction. Because of his newfound “tranquilo” persona as a likable no-care heel, the 35-year-old enters 2018 as the corporate’s hottest star in Japan. He’ll face Okada, 30, who defeated Naito for the heavyweight crown in 2016, and can enter the Tokyo Dome because the longest reigning champion (564 days) in IWGP historical past. Whereas Naito’s story has been a feel-good one to observe, it is laborious to shake the sensation that it already peaked for him on the G1. Okada is the corporate’s greatest wrestler not named Omega and the one would take advantage of sense contemplating their rivalry to have “The Cleaner” finally go over when it is his time to lastly win NJPW’s prime prize. Choose: Okada retains the title

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wolcenvescor-blog · 8 years ago

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Mirror in the Stone

so here is my complete love history 25+ years, no embellishments or falsities, hopefully i have left nothing out though i dont think i shall, names are all changed.

The first love i can recall was called Snail, in the 4th grade. She was the nicest girl in the class, everyone was her friend. She had awkwardly thick glasses and a sad smile. I told her years later that she was my first crush and she said but i was so ugly. she gave me a worn-out stuffed animal for my birthday one year, the best birthday present ive ever gotten.

The second was at the beginning of 7th grade, i met a girl named Tiger. She had beautiful green eyes which she frequently thrust in my face and made me very flustered. She had a great enthusiasm for everything, almost like a desperate passion. She held my hand but withdrew quickly.

I said not to leave anything out, but what follows is a bit of a mess of connections for one reason or another.

The third was Kitty. I would remain in limerence of Kitty for a number of years, during which she and i dated and broke up with several people and in between she sent me (and i no doubt sent her) confusing signals. Kitty was a lefty guitarist who wore short skirts and mismatched argyle socks. She lived partly in dreams and i felt she thought a lot like me. We always seemed to create something when we were together. When she looked at me, i felt she really looked at me. When she was not looking at me it felt awful. I wanted more. I made a beautiful thing for her. It was lost.

in 8th grade i kissed a girl named Wolfcharm. She called me after that and I couldn’t return her affections.

similarly i dated Wasp for about a week, a large loving boy who called me “baby.”

i dated a girl named Eagledog who would rough me about and later joined the marines. i “dumped” her for my best friend, who was ALSo dating her at the time and dumped her also straight after.

I did mention i was still in limerence of Kitty?

After that i had a brief connection with a boy named Tarantula, to whom i told my dark secrets, as he told me his. I had told him i could not stop thinking about him, which was true. we brought about catharsis in each other briefly, just through the talking, and crying. he was arrested soon after that and i never saw him again.

There was a boy i dated briefly in the first year of high school called Stork, and i was too nervous and broke it off quickly.

i had a brief encounter with Duck, who i have known a long time, but while she was in limerence of me when i was a child, we did not want to pursue it either of us.

And then there was Mongoose, who i will get back to later. Mongoose and i did mushrooms together and performed an odd mating ritual that collapsed into some kind of nightmare mythology. It fell apart and I continued my limerence of Kitty, until my best friend suggested i move on from both her and Mongoose with the seemingly-sweet Marmoset.

Marmoset was actually a nightmare. He lured me in with x and fast chemicals, he was high constantly and constantly trying to get me high. I was going to move in with my friends in a city we’d decided, with money they’d saved. I was going to get any wage job i could get. Marm decided to tag along. Did nothing. After i failed to hold a job and eating nothing but potatoes, and after Marm had already gone back to his parents, imploring me to return, i moved back home.

I moved in with my best friend, who was pregnant.

it didn’t work out. it never did and i kept trying to tell her that we could not live together. during that time i worked packing SPICE, getting it all over my hands, absorbing it through my skin. it was a good thing, too, bc when an Evil Person (i will call him Jackalope) DOSED me & Mongoose with massive amounts of the horrid chemical, i probably would have died if i hadn’t had already developed a tolerance. no one believed that it was deliberate. i FELT what Jackalope was, my subconscious warned me. even, a week after he dosed us, when he got arrested for trying to kill someone with a knife, no one believed me.

i left there.

My sister, the evil Marmoset, and i moved into an apartment together. He got me a job at his parents’ work, which made good money, except when your "boy-friend” spends it on cocaine and hits you. this went on for a while, more than i thought possible. i believed it was not intentional, that it was “sleep-violence.” he convinced me of that. my dreams were always telling me to get out. my sister did not know. even when my other two sisters effectively moved into my tiny apartment with me, they did not know. it was secret violence. mind-violence. i needed to get away.

During this time, my best friend gave birth to my niece.

i was still in limerence of Kitty, and attempted to use her to get away from Marmoset. when that didn’t work, I used Moth, who was a person who showed up at my door, a friend of my sister’s, who came into my apartment as i was painting alone and listened to my problems at length. He convinced me to go with him, he said it would be ok, it would just be for a little while. I did. Moth was another nightmare, but i escaped much more quickly, emotionally, mentally, physically. he did hurt me but he helped me as well, no credit is due. anyone who would have helped me get away would have helped.

i walked to another city, just walked, Moth was there but he was silent, i was in pain for not being used to walking, but did not want to show it, Moth just kept going and going. i was grateful to have someone with me but it was not really companionship. he would often get angry with me for being “weak.”

i reached my mother’s house in the other city but she did not want me there. i got a job at a coffee stand in a grocery store where i was coworkers with Rabbit, a truly magnificent creature. She only wanted to talk about history. She was from Taiwan, and told me about Japan and China fighting over her country and people. She was twelve years older than me & was as habitual as i fear i will be in that time. i say fear because Rabbit had trapped herself, i tried to suggest she leave but it was too frightening once the loneliness had set in, she confided to me.

as i said my mother did not want me at her house. i could not go back to where i had been. i began talking to Moth on the internet, he said oh hey just come live with me. i’ll get you a plane ticket. so i took it.

on December 25, 2010, i arrived in the north alone, walked from the airport to the woods. the airport had lost my bag with my blankets in it, and i waited there a long time before they kicked me out. in the forest i fell asleep in the night under all my clothes & the 1 blanket i had from my carrying on bag. the snow fell on my sleeping body and i woke in a sort of stupor. all i was was a quest for warmth, and i don’t know how i got anywhere because it took so much effort to move. eventually i wandered toward some buildings strip and got inside an airlock. my foolishness that first night showed me how to respect the cold.

i was homeless alongside Moth in the cold cold beautiful north for a while, as he did not actually have a place to live. aside from Moth, it was the most pleasant homelessness i have ever experienced. there was always food and always coffee.

we went together to a small town where we moved in to rooms in a house with 2 beautiful cats and their lovely monkey who played guitar constantly, as well as another human who was always always always working so so so so hard (i barely saw her, but i liked her, she canned pickles, a paramedic & forest ranger both! how?).

i felt so alone however i loved the land. abundant it was, i grew so many things. tomato plants sprang unbiddinly from the ground. i visited the beautiful clear cold river almost every day. i cared for her as a servant to the water, i worked at the water treatment plant and i loved it so much. but i felt out of place. wrong. and always a constant longing that threatened to defeat me.

on May 26, 2012, i wrote in my diary so i would not forget.

but i did forget.

my mind was full of terrible illusions, of being cut off from my family, thinking they did not want me anymore. because of Moth, but i did not know that. aside from that was another feeling that had been there since before i went to the north. it was stronger there, but it was still not right. and on May 26, 2012, my mind broke apart and let other things in.

and then so close to my “psychotic break” which change lasted 1 year exactly, which i can’t attempt to explain, i attempted to suppress those feelings. on June 19, 2012, i drank 2 bottles of cough syrup and the strongest wine i could get at the corner store and jumped in the river where the current was strong. As it was june it was not cold enough, but it was cold, and very dangerous. i knew that. i got myself out when i realised it would not be a very good birthday present for my friend Mongoose.

When i returned home again, this time from the far north, Mongoose kissed me on some parking garage (he was always trying to ever since the aforementioned failed weird mating ritual) and i felt so shaken that i believed for a moment that maybe i had found that other name, that it was Mongoose all along, but he only wanted to sleep with me and forget me again. he accused me of leaving my city “for a person”-- for Moth? no. Moth had been poison for me & i had extricated myself carefully from his friendship. Mongoose did not listen to me. Our tentative one-sided romance lasted for about two weeks.

i gave him 2 letters explaining about the other name, asking if it was him. He did not reply. i felt an overwhelming sense that something was passing me by. i spent so much time at his diy music venue that he had made with three of his friends, trying to find it, trying to find it.

i lost it.

I tried to deal with the pain of that for quite some time, i worked and saved money, i lived alone.

leading up to the day sometimes i felt frozen. strange. i would do things like i always would do, but sometimes was overcome with a feeling of helpless immobility. i would lie on the floor of my apartment for hours, not moving an inch.

on May 26, 2013, i experienced a ‘psychotic break,’ or i guess the world ended. i marked the day as it having been the start of my ‘psychotic break’ but it was actually the end, having echoed into the next year on the same date. i saw my grandfather soon before this, on the anniversary of his death.

After that i met Swan. she was so beautiful and seemed to really like me. but Swan was psychotic too, or whatever that is, and i did not know this for a long time, but she was also caught in the net of a psycho-killer, Muck Leech, who tried to catch me too. It began badly, it ended badly.

i kissed my beautiful friend Deer, with whom i was not in limerence but whom i loved dearly. Deer would often come to visit me as she lived close by. We did art together but nothing ever really came of the kiss, not in that way.

my best friend moved into a house in the neighborhood east of downtown, so i started spending a lot of time there. Swan lived there too, and i found i could use her energy and went to where she lived often, to paint. I had in fact abandoned my limerence of her because she had rejected me in that way, but was still preoccupied with her well-being.

i began dating Swan’s friend Peacock, who lived there too and with whom i was not in limerence but i felt i needed to be close to. i helped Peacock with her art while suppressing my own. it was comfortable, because i was still getting accustomed to my psychosis, and Peacock, though not ideal, was at least tolerant of that.

it was then also that i met a young boy named Chinchilla, who called me an angel and did magic spells with me.

and then on October 6, 2013, the world ended again, that was the day my best friend died. i didn’t find out until 2 days later, October 8, 2013.

i was in the outskirts, living with my uncle, having been in and out of mental institutions so often it all blurred together. when i found out she had died it was on the internet. it was real and not real. i called my sister. she did not know. she could not believe it. are you sure, she said. i was on the grassy lawn. it was a beautiful day, cool, clear. the trees rained their frission on me. i called Mongoose, her other closest friend. before i had said anything coherent he hung up on me. he never talked to me about her, then or after. but what did i expect? he never talked to me about her before, either.

i went to her funeral and i saw her body. it was not hers anymore. the hair had turned from fire to dirt. how, i wondered. but i knew.

the priest went on about rainbows and how to not be like her, how to accept god and never overdose on evil drugs. he did not know her. i imagined he had a piece of paper, scribbled with her name, a few words. “rainbows.” she loved rainbows, he said. it was then i took control of his body, not knowing i was doing so, made him say “the world is a bitch and i don’t care, all i want is her to come back.” he broke into tears then. collected himself. acted as if it hadn’t happened.

Peacock and i broke up a few weeks later.

It was the next spring that i moved into a room meant for Peacock. Swan entered my life again, and we entered some kind of holding pattern. i didn’t want her to leave. But she was still in a psycho-killer’s net. i couldn’t tell, nor could i care. she was the only one who held me in my grief, and that was all i really was.

i got bitten by a dog very soon after i moved into that room. i was very grateful to my roommate at the time, whom i had just met, and instead of freaking out or insisting i go to the hospital when they saw the dog bite, they just said ok and went back to bed.

on the other side of it my other roommate at the time, Stork, cornered me in the kitchen soon after i moved in to ask me if i was ok. i had been crying about my best friend, as i did excessively. i did not want to go into it, but Stork began to lecture me about how i needed to be ok or something, although i wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, i was watching a crane fly hop around the kitchen floor, expectantly. Stork crushed the crane fly with his shoe, not seeming to notice. i made some noises that sounded like i would work on being ok and went back to my room.

my memories of this time are extremely muddled. i did not know a hunter was looking for me, the Muck Leech, or that he had already caught my scent. Had already entered my space. read my journals. read letters for me from my best friend. drawn on my walls. yes, all literally. all almost a year before i met him.

Before i met Muck Leech (the psycho-killer, as in killer of psychos (me)) i had a dream about him (Swan had been telling me about him, and i’d seen his picture & some of his art). In it, he was a priestess of Ungit’s temple, with a long, flaxen wig and a heavily painted, masklike face. He told me he’d read a letter from my best friend to me. (i didn’t know this was true at the time of the dream.) “Be careful of myths,” he said in the dream. “They’re true.”

When i did meet Muck Leech, he manipulated my mind, and whatever friendship Swan and i were maintaining, he broke apart, slowly, painfully. i believe my friendship with Swan could have been good bc the limerence slowly faded, and eventually i knew it was just there in the first place bc Swan is a similar thing as me, like many others i know, however her pain was very, very great and i think i was drawn to that. i wanted to help her. she had been so badly hurt.

when i lived in the room i often listened to the guitar or the drums or the bass or all three, and it almost always put me to sleep. my next-room roommate was responsible for this music, however i did not know this as their bandmates’ (Stork and Stag) egos were pretty big & kind of made me think otherwise. Not Lynx, though, Lynx just played the drums really well. i never went to their shows bc no one ever told me when one was. i loved this music, however, and knew that my city needed it. i DID take it for granted, i did not examine the feeling.

and then there was TG. I will call her… Stoat. Her mouth moved all about. I met her in a cafe, and very soon after, she sat me down with a serious air and began to lecture me about how i needed to stop chasing after Peacock. Now i tried to assure her that this was the last thing possible that i wanted. But i was so flustered by her that it didn’t come out right. she patted my arm. i loved her then.

i knew then also many new people. i was grieving my best friend and wrapped myself gratefully in the circle of friends. i often spent time with Stoat, with Swan, Stork and Stag, & Chinchilla also.

i made a large painting drawing of myself, my animal self, and another person. i do not know still who this other person is, nor do i remember painting her, only that she looks very familiar and i have felt her comforting gaze for a long time.

I felt threatened by people who would come into my room and say it “used to be theirs.” i knew it was mine as soon as i entered it, i felt it.

Swan and Chinchilla & i started a band, we played at a speakeasy every week, it was wonderful.

Well except for Muck Leech. i accepted him as one of my friends, i felt affectionate towards him even as he was working to control me.

i did not know, having had a friend like my best friend, that i would not find that easily. i did not know the dangers of seeking that from that longing, finding other things instead, or having them find me.

I took a bottle of ambien under Muck Leech’s power, i went to the hospital with my father and my uncle.

when i returned he was angry, he tried to warn me and then he tried to fight me. my friends in my house did not listen to me. he wanted to hurt me.

i had bruises on my body and face from this encounter, still no one believed me. no one wanted to believe me.

i ran away.

near the end of my time there, i wrote this.

How long will you

hold back your own?

Sell your magic, break your bones

For some great mirror in the stone?

For years and years and years i’ve roamed

Searching for the mirror in the stone.

If an accurate longing

could bring me home,

Why i’d lift the souls from the statues,

From their clasping hands, and from carpets

who can fly, or cans

of coiled snakes.

Anything it takes.

But how could someone help me

If they sound just like my mother?

No one can protect me from their brother.

You follow someone’s face like a

mirror in the stone: she’s been here

Since the earth, here to hold, or to own

Build your secrecy on her out of touch

and brightness, spill your soul

The dripping-wet oil, atone

For any losses you have known

With the simplification of ashes on ashes

Longing stone for pain of bone

Each for the other’s.

Only the most comfortable same.

More, and it’s as if the other came

To break your fingers and your hold

On some great mirror in the stone.

Stop, you cry, and try to break your body

on the quay.

To be born was once the greatest thing

But one great mother took away

That longing for some other same.

That ocean in your name.

And so that someone, mother’s self,

And you, and broken, on the shelf,

And all your mirrors in the stone.

You’ll never be alone.

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sandralmuller · 8 years ago

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How a $15 bag of potatoes changed my life

I’m having my mid-life crisis.

Not a buy-a-red-convertible or get-a-hot-new-twenty-something-guy kind of mid-life crisis, but the sort you have when you get home from a three-month digital nomadding stint in Vietnam and discover that bags potatoes have jumped to $15 (seriously! WTF potatoes?)

You then re-evaluate where you are in life, what’s most important to you, who you want to be, and how much tubers cost elsewhere on the planet and then decide to move to a different hemisphere. Screw you, potatoes. That kind of mid-life crisis.

We’ve sold our house (the sign even has an official SOLD sticker on it now), we’re selling all our stuff (anyone need a dining table or queen bed?) and downsizing everything into 1.5m x 1.5m storage locker. Gasp!

We are moving back to South Korea for an unknown period of time. Maybe a year, maybe less, maybe more.

Our digital nomadding adventure in Vietnam last year was life changing in some completely unexpected ways. I don’t need a big house filled with lots of stuff. I don’t want to spend the next 20 years of my life making banks, insurance companies, utilities, potato farmers and my local council wealthier. I need time and space with low overheads and financial pressure to get ahead for a change. I don’t want to spend 2.5 hours each week vacuuming and mopping the floors of our stupidly large home. We’re going backward in Melbourne, and it’s time to stop that slide.

With less financial pressure burdening us, we’ll have more time to enjoy life and work on growing a solid business together, rather than having to take on every single scrap of copywriting work that comes my way only to see that money go straight out again making the big fat corporations richer. I’m getting off that hamster wheel, for a while, anyway.

I had big plans for my three months in Vietnam and I barely made a dent in them, but I realised that all I needed was more time and less overheads to achieve my goals. Korea seemed the logical next choice so the Monsta can get acquainted with his father’s native language and develop a relationship with his grandparents and we can eat as much bibimbap as we like. And potatoes.

TJ and I at Bulguksa in Korea, 2002. How cute were we?

When I first moved to Korea in 2001, I was 28 and on the run from a broken relationship, psychotic ex-boss and a tangled life in Melbourne. I certainly wasn’t looking for a complication to add to my tangled mess when I sat next to the most beautiful creature I’d even seen at the London Hof, at a bar in Pohang, South Korea.

I didn’t expect to take that beautiful creature with me when I left Korea for China seven months later. But here we are, 15 years on and we’ve created another even more beautiful creature — out little Monsta who loves Korean food but barely speaks a word of Korean and doesn’t have a relationship with the other half of his family.

But he has such a deep connection with our family here, and that’s the hardest thing about leaving. It feels incredibly selfish, but at the same time, like the right thing to do for us, for now. It’s not forever and the Monsta and I will be back every two or three months for a visit. Cos that’s how you can roll when you don’t have big overheads.

We’re like a boulder now, rolling down a mountain. The momentum is behind us and we can’t stop. I just hope there’s a soft landing in the suburban outskirts of Daejon when we arrive on March 2nd. I know, right? That’s only three weeks away.

I’ll be sending more updates once we’re in Daejon and settled. I’ve been keeping quiet until our house was sold and our family knew what we’re up to. It’s a relief to be able to finally speak about it publicly and share our plans. And my disdain for the price of potatoes.

To keep up with our adventures, sign up for my newsletter below.

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How a $15 bag of potatoes changed my life was originally published on Sandra Muller

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