#from one poster parody to another

[jojolimons-arts]

my favorite adam sandler movie :]

[decemberpdf]

Tumblr stop showing me posts about Monkey Man challenge

[szlez]

Parody a.k.a Join The Navy

25th one for Suptober 2024 Remixed by @wigglebox and @thepagemistress based on Suptober by @winchester-reload.

Prompt 25. Parody

As it is actually a parody it is only fair to link you to the original art - a propaganda poster by Richard Fayerweather Babcock.

Make love not war, I guess 😉

To see my art without the fiery addition look here.

I'm pretty sure that it's inspired by yet another @masoena's Kinktober 2024 prompts.

Prompt 23. Uniforms (or lack thereof to be precise)

My other arts for Suptober:

Prompt 1. Autumn, Prompt 2. Spa Day, Prompt 3. Royalty, Prompt 4. Birthday, Prompt 5. Scars, Prompt 6. Electric, Prompt 7. Thankful, Prompt 8. Witch’s Brew, Prompt 9. Moon, Prompt 10. Mushrooms, Prompt 11. Myth, Prompt 12. Harvest Festival, Prompt 13. Monster Mash, Prompt 14. Fave Episode, Prompt 15. Sigils, Prompt 16. Falling, Prompt 17. Wings, Prompt 18. Family Business, Prompt 19. Dark & Stormy Night, Prompt 20. Limbo, Prompt 21. Cozy Treats, Prompt 22. Ladies, Prompt 23. Fever, Prompt 24. Branded.

Taglist.

Pls DM me if you want to be added to tag list or removed from it.

@aniona29, @denimshortsdean, @dotti55, @famouskidangel, @malicmalic, @squirrelsarecool, @writteninthestarsinyoureyes .

[olderthannetfic]

Until I read the comments on that one post I had no idea the Bechdel Test was a joke and wasn't supposed to be a serious measuring stick by which you gauged if something was feminist or not. Everywhere I'd ever heard it brought up, it was brought up as a very serious thing, and it was a failure of media if it didn't pass it. I remember the debate about Mako Mori from Pacific Rim and if she was a character you were "allowed" to like as a progressive person despite the fact that Pacific Rim doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, the discourse, the discussion of if the director was sexist for not writing in another woman for her to chat with about non-men related stuff, the camp of people trying to insist that having a fully realized character arc and being as developed as any of the male leads = good writing even if she doesn't talk to another girl...

And I've also had the remark about my writing not passing the test, just not to my face. I searched my fanfic's name once, curious to see if anyone was discussing it outside of tumblr and AO3, and found a Tiktok complaining about it not passing the Bechdel Test. The top comment was "motherfucker YOU don't pass the test but we still watch your ass". I cackled and moved on, but neither the commenter, poster, nor I had any awareness this wasn't Feminist Media Critique 101 theory and was, in fact, a goof.

Right now there's a segment of fandom debating if Blue Eye Samurai is feminist since when Mizu and Akemi talk, they do bring up men, since, y'know. Women aren't considered people with rights in their era in Japan and thus it's something they mention instead of only talking about being cool girlboss badasses who never bring up gender. If something doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, a smug segment of the internet high-fives itself and congratulates one another on being More Feminist Than Thou.

They then get really angry if you disagree, even though by this metric, Sleeping Beauty (the original animated one, where Aurora has only 16 lines of dialogue) is more feminist than Blue Eye Samurai.

--

*DYING*

Okay, so, nonnie....

Dykes to Watch Out For (1983-2008) was a long-running comic and major piece of lesbian media. I grew up buying compiled volumes at the bookstore. To be honest, that kind of 90s-ish lesbian culture isn't really my scene despite me being bi, but it was very nice to have this slice of life-y somewhat realistic, occasionally somewhat parody, look at the queer communities around me. It's up there with Tales of the City for me in terms of being a window into a particular culture and time and place.

If anybody is interested in queer history, in addition to looking up factual info, I think a read of the complete Dykes would give a really good overview of how people were thinking about things and what issues came up a lot. You'll see things like Barnes & Noble increasingly putting feminist bookstores out of business in the 90s, attitudes towards porn in lesbian circles—all kinds of cultural issues of the day.

I drifted away as I got later in my teens and found more genre fiction I cared about, but at one point, this comic was a very welcome antidote to the glurgey coming out stories that made up a lot of the more realistic media.

Anyway, here's the comic itself, reproduced in its entirety because I think it's important to actually understand the context.

This is from 1985, so the era of Rambo, Conan, and Death Wish, each of which you can see being made fun of here. It's based on Bechdel's friend Liz Wallace's actual rule for seeing movies.

That's it. That's the origin of this whole stupid test.

"LOL, fuck 80s action movies". That's it. That's the joke.

The fact that blockbusters still routinely fail to pass in the 2020s is shameful, but that was never the point of the strip.

[lej222]

Literary Allusions and Pop Culture References in ASLFUA

After School Lessons is a series that has minimal plot, but great underlying themes and references to other famous creations/pop culture moments. I thought it would be fun to collect as many as I can in this post and their possible narrative connection, not necessarily in order. :)

Cheol & Miae

One of the biggest running gags of the series is that the main characters have the same names as the famous Korean musical duo Cheol and Miae. The group was formed in 1992, with Cheol as the rapper and Miae as the singer. Their single, 'Why do you' became a huge hit and was referenced in ASLFUA plenty of times. Obviously, the main joke here is that the singer Miae was taller than rapper Cheol and they were only friends, while Unripe Apples Cheol is taller than Miae.

Nostradamus

The prophecy of Nostradamus said that in the 7th month of 1999 a great king of terror would descend from the sky and bring end to the world. Which makes it even more interesting that the supernatural powers in the story started to be very active around July with the end of the first term and the start of the summer break.

Miae's posters on the wall: E.T (1982) and The X-Files (1993)

Interestingly enough, both feature aliens. E.T The Extra-Terrestrial might be more interesting for us readers, as it features a young boy named Elliott who befriends an alien. In one of the most famous scenes of the movie, E.T. is riding Elliott's bike in his basket, and the bicycle lifts off from the ground and two are shown flying in front of the full moon. In fact, in a poll made by Universal it was voted as the most memorable movie scene in 100 years of cinema.

Needless to say, there are some ovbious similarities with our story - the boy with the bike, the strange friend, the moon symbolism. In fact, Cheol is always looking at the moon so it wouldn't be a surprise if it was inspired by Spielberg's movie, plus one of the most impactful scenes of aslfua is when Cheol allows Miae to ride his bicycle with him in ep 95, the scene that I personally consider the end of the first part of the story.

Backstreet Boys

Miae is singing the 1997 hit song 'As Long As You Love Me'. Miae, like a typical teenager, likes boybands like the Fire Boys who might be the parody of The Backstreet Boys😃

Romeo and Juliet

There are quite a few references to the 1996 Romeo and Juliet movie, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. On 3 separate cover pages, Miae is portrayed as Juliet, while Cheol and Jisu are dressed like Romeo. There's also a scene where Miae imagines being Juliet who is not allowed to meet her Romeo when she cannot see Cheol. I wonder if Jisu will also have a Romeo-like element in his story that could create a similar situation, it would be an amazing foreshadowing element.

Man in Black

It looks like Soonkki really loves her alien references, because we also have the 1997 movie starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, who play agents tasked with monitoring extraterrestrial life on Earth.

Titanic

Another movie that is mentioned many times in the story, the Titanic (1997) is one that Miae seemingly loves and has watched many times. In fact, it's funny how her favourite part is the car scene because it really shows us readers that Miae is interested in the idea of love, even if she doesn't know what it truly entails to be in a relationship.

Green Day

People born before the 2000s all know that characters listening to the American band's songs were often the slacker/stoner stereotypes. I've also written a post about how Jisu is seemingly the subversion of the 90s slacker/stoner and nerd archetype, while Cheol seems to be the subversion of the jock trope. Jisu is listening to Basket Case (1994) that has become the anthem of many slackers/stoners in the 90s, and weirdly fits his character really well considering Jisu is usually described as a strange person. I've also made several posts about Jisu possibly being on the spectrum, and it's interesting to see how Jisu expresses himself with the songs he listens to, no wonder his hobby is listening to music. If we consider Jisu might be bad at expressing his feelings through his body language, it makes this scene even more precious.

Speed

Cheol invites Miae to watch a movie together and it happens to be the 1994 classic starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Reeves plays a police officer who has to save the passengers of a bus without the speed of the bus dropping below 50 miles per hour, otherwise a bomb would explode the vehicle. It's one of the most creative action films ever made, but if someone wants to watch it, I advice not to watch the sequel because it is awful lol.

Scream

Miae wants Cheol to join the academy kids watching an R-rated movie which leads to a hilarious misunderstanding. To Cheol's relief, the movie turns out to be the horror movie Scream (1996).

Shakespeare and Carl Jung

Like I've mentioned in my supernatural involvement post under ep 116, we get a close-up of 2 interesting posters.

One of them is about the forest in Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare. The 4 central characters in the play all get entangled with the supernatural, and the forest symbolizes a world where the line between reality and fantasy is blurred. Dreams play an important role in the story as they are sometimes real, sometimes simply dreams. In aslfua, we also have dreams, a forest where young Miae and Cheol played, a stone tower fairy that allegedly grants wishes and an unknown supernatural power that talks to Miae.

The coincidences poster is likely a reference to Carl Jung's synchronicity, a concept that states that seemingly meaningful coincidences have a deeper meaning. One has to realize the connection between their psyche and the material world to experience synchronicity, so basically you have to notice the coincidences that keep happening and put meaning to them. Because these coincidences have no rational explanation, they can be proof for a deeper order in the universe, almost like destiny, no wonder Jung used this concept to argue for the existence of the paranormal. A simple example: you really cannot decide what to study in the future, but have seen many posters on your way about one school. You go home and it pops up on the Internet. You start to wonder if it's a coincidence, and decide that it's a sign from above and eventually choose it. You've experienced synchronicity.

-> this happens when seemingly unrelated events become meaningful to you. Miae wonders how she keeps bumping into Cheol. She says he must have come to her neighborhood because of her wish. Miae experiences synchronicity when it comes to Cheol. Or we could say Miae acknowledges a deeper order in the universe that, through coincidences, let her meet Cheol again. Jisu also notices that he keeps meeting Miae through coincidences, he acknowledges the deeper order, he even remarks it's fun, but he goes beyond and says he feels like there's a higher power involved. Miae has no idea about her coincidences with Jisu so she her psyche doesn't make the connection with the material world. So we have synchronicity experienced by: Miae->Cheol and Jisu->Miae.

Jisu, the grateful magpie

Jisu's backstory gives us a reference to a famous Korean folktale about a man who saved a group of baby magpies from a snake and in return the magpies sacrificed themselves to protect him. Here, the illustration clearly shows Miae as the person who uses her bow and arrow to kill the snake, while we know she called Jisu a magpie when they were kids. Throughout the story, we see Jisu trying to protect Miae and repay the favor without much luck, which pretty much foreshadows one big possible role for Jisu in the storyline, no wonder he's the one who's aware of Shim bullying Miae. It's no coincidence either how in the present she thinks Jisu resembles more of a bald eagle, a predatory animal.

Stone tower

Although it's not an allusion, I wanted to include this one because it's a very famous superstition in Korea. People used to pray to the mountain Gods by building stone pagodas so their wishes would be answered. This tradition is still alive, though nowadays most people tell their wishes or pray for good luck. You usually put your stones on an existing stone tower because it also shows how people are interconnected and how you should respect others so your wish can come true through the wishes of others. That's why you should never destroy a pagoda that somebody else made, and it's also very disrespectful. Miae also makes wishes to the tower so Cheol can become her friend and he would one day come to her neighborhood. When Cheol wants to give her a book, he accidentally falls on the pagoda and injures himself.

The Matrix

The Matrix (1999), one of the most famous movies of all time, is about how reality is actually an illusion, and people can be blinded about the truth about their own existence. The main character Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, is someone who awakens within the Matrix, similarly to what we see in The Truman Show starring Jim Carrey.

In one of the most iconic moments of the movie, the oracle tells Neo not to worry about the vase, while Neo doesn't know what she's talking about until he accidentally drops a vase. This scene poses many different questions about predetermination and free will. Was Neo's act predestined by prior experince, free will, or maybe both?

If you look at my aslfua screenshot, you can notice the code from Matrix in green. And what happens in the scene? Miae and Jisu injure a plant in a pot. An accident, right?? Well, depending on how you interpret it based on the movie. And what does Jisu do? He intentionally throws the pot and destroys the plant. Can Jisu's act be considered a sign of free will? Because that is what he tells Miae- that he is not a bully, so he took the blame by flipping over the plant. Jisu might just be a glitch in the system if you know what I mean :D

The Bible

Last but not least, we have this super symbolic illustration at the end of ep2 after Miae meets Cheol. The biblical allusion is obvious, Miae is holding out a green apple to Cheol, a half-eaten apple. In the first part Miae is the one providing her knowledge to Cheol in order to help him mature. :)

There are probably way more references, but I'm kind of tired so I might add others in the future. :) If anyone read this whole thing, thank you so much! :D

[rockmiyabideusexmachina]

2024 Megaman Summer Fanart Contest *CLOSED*

Happy Rockman Day! Time for this year's Megaman Summer Fanart Contest rules thread! Two categories, in which you are allowed to submit one entry for each category, if you would like. If you place in one category, you will be automatically disqualified from the other, for reasons of fairness, and to give other people a chance to win a prize. CATEGORY 1 (Talent): Pallette Pastiche

Ms. Museum Curator is back, looking for new pieces of art to display in the Kattleox Art Museum! A couple years ago for Valentine's Day, she needed your creations to display for an exhibit that featured a little bit of red and showed a little bit of love. This summer, her new exhibit is all about pastiche on your palette. What is pastiche? It's an artsy term that essentially means to imitate another work/artist/period. Or to just simplify it, we're talking a parody. So, for this theme, I would like you to parody any work of art, be it a famous painting, sculpture, etc.,…or maybe a piece that isn't as popular…only with Megaman characters involved in it.

As a visual example, way back in the CapcomUnity days, for Mega Man 10's release, there were fanart contests for each new Robot Master. When Solar Man came up, I decided to do an homage of this cognac poster art by Leonetto Cappiello:

Your possibilities are endless, depending on how ambitious you want to be! Alien Dr. Wily in Munch's 'The Scream,' Botticelli's 'Birth of Shield Sheldon,' Higsby carving the 'Venus de Mariko,' Da Vinci's 'Mona Laika,' or even 'The Last Cross Fusion Supper,' featuring the immortal Barrel and his 12 CF disciples. Just to throw out a few ideas. Content Requirements: * Megaman character(s) of your choice in a parody of a real art piece * please also send me a pic of the actual art piece with your entry, just so we can all see what you were referencing CATEGORY 2 (Humor): Pirates of the Alohahabean

Y'arr, ahoy me hearties! As voted by you on Twitter, the humor theme this year will be pirate-themed. Pirates have plenty of rep in the franchise, from Classic's Pirate Man, Marty and her band of pirates in Iwamoto's X manga, the Bonne family sky pirates, unused Tribe forms in Star Force, or, well…Ashe huntin' for booty.

For this theme, you can take any of those aforementioned pirate-y characters, or use any others of your choosing dressed up or acting like pirates, in the hunt for treasure. It could be a chest full of zenny, jewels, The Mother Lode, or whatever other booty you can imagine. The only problem is, this pirate treasure hunt is disturbing other characters who are just trying to enjoy a summer day on the beachy sands or the high seas. Your job is to draw the most hilarious scene in which this quest for a glorious bounty goes awry. Savvy?

Content Requirements: * Mega Man character(s) of your choice who are pirates or dressed/act as pirates hunting for treasure * A comical scene where these pirates interrupt a nice day on the beach/in the water for other characters PRIZES: The winners for each category will receive the following: 1st Place: $175 USD 2nd Place: $100 USD 3rd Place: $75 USD SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: When you submit, I would prefer you to include the following information in this format, along with your entry: • (Your name/preferred alias) – As much as I usually know who you are, there’s always someone new or somebody who has a different preference from what their email name says. • (Category this entry is for) – You can either say 1/2, or talent/humor Only submit your own work, as usual. Any character, major or minor, from any series is allowed. OCs are allowed, as long as your art contains at least one canon Megaman character. As always, participants are allowed to submit from all over the world. Paypal is still the preferred method for cash prize payouts. Please have a valid account to receive your winnings. Kids, get your parents permission before entering. Entries do not need to be colored, but it is preferred. The more effort put into things as always, the better chance you have! Entries can either be e-mailed to me at rock2125[at]hotmail[dot]com, or you can just PM/note me a link to your pic. DO NOT post your pics in this journal, your dA galleries, Twitter, tumblr blogs, other sites, etc. until the contest is over. This is the fairest way for competitive reasons. I prefer to keep them all secret until the deadline has passed. I'll edit a confirmed entry list in this thread when I receive them. So you won't be in the dark about whether or not I've received your entry. DEADLINE: The deadline for this contest will be Sunday, August 25th, 2024 by 11:59PM, global end of day. This gives you over 2 months to finish your entry! MISCELLANEOUS INFO: As usual, If you don't plan to enter, but would like to help me judge, please let me know through DM or mention so here. Never hurts to have extra opinions on all the entries. Bug me with questions if you have any. Please join in, and good luck to everyone who enters! Confirmed Entries: Cat 1. - @aw-colorcat, @digitallyfanged, JazzmanZ, Ryan Vogler, @dwn-059, @puyonlilah, Ivo, @purplerubyred, @nightopianfoxgirl, Tori Campan, ArtisIan, @sylviidaee, Cat. 2 - @pstart, @dwn-059, Kamicciolo, @duskblogsthings, AbilityField, ArtisIan, @megagundamman, V-Campan,

[twosides--samecoin]

Process post mortem of Chapter 14's banner image.

This was inspired by the poster for the Sofia Coppola film Somewhere, which is a work that leans into father/daughter themes as much as my fic does. Building the pool and posing was the easy part. I spent way too much time trying to find swim trunks for Jack (the only one that wasn't a reskin of underwear was a retexture of a Fallout 76 mesh that seems only accessible if you purchased the outfit from the Atom Shop) as well as figuring out, shall we say, modest swimwear for Olivia. I considered making swimwear for both of them in Blender, but I'm trying to time manage project scope (I.E. there's a difference between spending an afternoon setting up screenshots and spending several days creating assets when I have a deadline). I'm not fast enough in Blender or mesh painting to make quality outfits in a quick timeframe. Another thing I did was update Olivia's skin textures to a 2k set. I also played with the design of the chapter update post - what do you think? I'm also continuing to work with @edaworks on album cover parodies for end-of-chapter assets.

Looking forward to Chapter 15 - we're gonna address some tension that has been building since Chapter 10, if not the whole story long. Things will change again - this time for the better. Olivia will get a true blank slate after moving to America and what happened in Goodneighbor - lord knows that kid needs a break.

Welp, back to work! Many projects ahead - new chapter, a yeehawgust entry, maybe some mods for people to try! Yay!

[reggiejworkshop]

"Bill"

"Come on you nerd! Just let go! Let go!" Stanley Pines

In an alternate universe, Stanford Pines and Stanley Pines reconciled their differences several years earlier, and with Fiddleford MacGucket, they uncover paranormal activity within Gravity Falls in Disney's first  animated PG sci fi film from 1982. 

This had been an idea I had been musing in my head for a while. Yes, I am aware 'Stanuary' is officially over now, but I still wanted to go ahead and finish this. I wanted to do another piece that was meant to parody the look of 80's movie posters, similar to the Action Claus piece I did a year or two ago. But this time I used Tron as my base of inspiration for this one. This one was a bit more experimental for me as I had to use a lot of different tools to create the background than I normally would.

The hardest was probably creating the custom text for the title. I wasn't able to get the text to look like the one from the original Tron movie poster, but I still managed to give it a retro 80's feel. Sure, it probably would have been easier to find a text generator website to do that for me, but I wanted to try it for myself anyway.

I love how well this turned out!

[old-skyguy]

TMA fears as ASMR concepts

Disclaimer: I wrote this months ago in my notes app. This is not proofread in the *slightest*. So. It's gonna be shit. Lol. Enjoy, ig.

Also not canon compliant whatsoever so don't complain about that because I know.

-Michael Distortion: (POV: you're in the spiral) it's just 15 minutes of Michael whispering the same "baby sharchivist dododododo" tune and then him getting killed by Helen in the last minute.

-Nikola Orsinov does your skincare routine but it's just a direct parody of the Victor Van Dort does your Nails video where instead of the bts poster, the "blanket" is a black and white circus poster (see: Danny Stoker) that crumbles to ash when he puts it on. Also at the end she tries to do a "chemical peel" she found on "the internets". Michael comes in at the end and PRESIDENTIAL ALERT THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGG.

"Why are you screaming? that's very rude, you know. Especially after I talked to your BOSS for you. And that was NOT an enjoyable experience. He's such a tool >:(("

"Spill the tea, archivist" "oh sorry, did you want some? Sorry ...too bad. You can't have this :33" "WHERE ARE MY MANNERS??" *sticks pinky finger out* "there! Much better"

-Jane Prentiss' GRWM but she doesn't have any other clothes so it's just "time for the fit check!!" *Camera cuts to her dress for one (1) second* then her makeup is just dirt, dirt, and "the worms love you."

-Simon Fairchild and Michael Crew giggle with each other while huddled together and whispering/gossiping and asking "should we do it, should we do it?" "Yeah yeah let's be bad" while shushing each other while occasionally interacting with the listener for 5 minutes and then the rest of the video is just them torturing them via the ocean (them holding you underwater for 2 minutes with muffled gurgling bubble noises accompanied by underwater ocean sounds and silent panicking), throwing you into the sky at extreme velocity (sounds of air blasting your eardrums for a solid 3 minutes before an airplane hits you full force and you fall back into the ocean...which is another whole minute of falling and panicking.), and then the rest of the video is just them laughing while basically using your limp, dazed body as a kite.

-Elias Bouchard beats you with a metal pipe ASMR.

-POV: Gerard Keay breaks into your house at 2:27 AM and ransacks it looking for a LEITNER "WHERE TF IS I- oh. You're awake..Hi." before leaving through the window but he can't make himself fit through so it's just a full minute of him struggling and awkwardly laughing while apologizing over and over. All this time, he's wearing so much eyeliner, he looks like Jeff the Killer. You point this out and he just goes "Oh! Thank you! :D"

-"Buried Alive ASMR: You Get Buried Alive. You are getting buried alive. Someone is burying you. Alive. It is peaceful." (Unnecessarily long, redundant title for what's just screaming that gets slowly muffled as the video goes on and more dirt is piled on top of you before you start to sound content and just. Go to sleep. At that point. Snoring.)

-The Vase eats your boyfriend in the other room. It's just sounds of porcelain and snoring and fleshy eating sounds with ear eating but it slowly progresses to sounds that make less and less sense until it's just the skeleton sound effects from Minecraft.

-POV spiders crawl all over you. They have covered your door in spiderwebs. You fall asleep crying but wake up to being choked to death via spiders crawling inside you and blocking your windpipe.

-Jared Hopworth, the Boneturner, turns your bones with sounds of squishy flesh moving around in the background. At the end, you get eaten by The Monster Pig™ and meat (lol) the body of the missing clown.

-You get sacrificed to The Desolation. Sounds of distant screaming is heard in the right ear while sounds of maniacal/pained laughter is heard in the left. Fire crackles throughout the woods.

-You are getting chased by something. You get stalked with a lot of tension at the beginning; sticks cracking, creepy giggling, devious sounds all around. Your breathing is uneasy, but then the sounds stop and you breathe a sigh of relief and go back to stoking your campfire. Something growls and finally says "evening" and starts counting down. From 5. You bolt away from your campsite downhill for 2 minutes breathing heavily and fast before you trip on a stick and tumble down the mountain getting hit by trees and sent over rocks. You're about to pass out, but then you hear sniffing and growling in your direction and you get back up with an "o shit" and hide in a tree. When the monster sniffs out your hiding spot, it can't reach you. The rest of the video is slightly muffled Gangnam Style.

-POV: Peter Lukas kidnaps you, throws you in a sack, and you are put on a ship to a deserted island. This part is just sounds of boards creaking and boat rocking sounds while you fall asleep to the sounds of Peter's VERY heavy snoring. You're both startled awake by distant "land ho!" And a very gruff Peter's voice talking to himself going "I'm up I'm up ugh". Rustling of the bag is heard while he picks you up and fumbles around with you. You're getting passed around and jostled a bunch. At one point he burns his toast. Sounds of intense crunching can be heard from this along with him saying "elgh" as if disgusted. Finally, he brings you to the deck and throws you overboard onto a deserted island (your bones break and you scream "MY LEGS") before you can hear him far away saying "alright, set sail, we're done here." You manage to get out of the bag (you are wincing, the drop heavily contorted your body) and the sun shines at you while birds squack above and the coast crashes onto the shore. You slowly lose your mind.

-POV you're in the War™ and get shot in the arm and fall into a cave with one of your comerades. You guys shakily and awkwardly attempt to make small talk as you both bleed out on top of several hundreds of other corpses. The Piper is heard in the distance getting louder. When he finally gets to you after taking your friend, you fall into a bottomless pit while he's up there yelling "OH FUCKING COME ONNNN." When you get out on the other side after a minute of silence with faint sounds of "I will remember you" plays quietly through the silence. When you get out, Mike and Simon are snickering before you cough up blood when they start bursting out in laughter being like "I'm sorry I'm SO sorry really but it's JUST. SO FUNNY."

-POV: Robert Montauk is preparing to kill you, sharpening his tools and humming and whatnot before Julia comes in and asks what her dad's doing. While he's distracted, you escape the shitily tied knots and run through pitch dark while he chases you with an axe. "COME BACK. COME BACCKKK. YOU FUCKER I NEED YOU. FUCKER." You run into a church. Manuela Dominguez tries to apprehend you. It doesn't work. "Where the hell's Fairchild when you need him?"

Robert bursts through the church and gets pissed at you for making him scream curse words that his daughter could hear. Throws the axe at you. He misses. Now you have a weapon. You charge at him but fall through another pitch black hole where none other than yours truly are on the other side of it laughing their ASSES off just DYING. "OK. OK Whooooo. We SWEAR that was the last of it hahaha" "haha yeah just some guys bonding over a good laugh, you understand."

-The End. Just. An end screen.

You're dropped into Season one Jon's office and they (annoyed) take your statement. Typing sounds are heard while you frantically go "then the old guy..a-nd then the other old guy then the 2 old men and. And. Worm lady. Skin. Chemical peel." As they mumble "uh huh, yeah. Heh, heard that one before. No go on, go on." When statement ends, you leave but stay at the door to eavesdrop while they skepticize like "this man needs some antispychotics and he needs them NOW. Ugh. My job is utter buffoonery. MAHTIN."

You turn to walk away but get ambushed by Elias Bouchard. The last sound of the video is just a metal pipe hitting you over the head.

[letmeridethatstaff]

The Truman and (Y/N) Show

Chapter 4: Travelers Beware

Word count: 4.3 K

Relationship: Truman Burbank x Reader

Disclaimer: this is all parody. I do not own the Truman show nor do I claim it. Do not repost. Do not translate and repost.

Warnings:

- baby talk of course

- lies

- their life is a television show from birth so ya know

- water aka ocean and fire

- uhhhh idk if I miss some tell me

Not edited and written like weeks apart.

———————

Truman and (Y/N) ended up sleeping in for the day. They made coffee and put their plan into action. After Angela left they did their normal routine, with a small difference. If they really were being watched then the running water of a shower would drown out their whispers. In the shower they planned. Pack a suitcase in the morning and rush to the travel agency after breakfast.

Going into the agency they both noticed posters of multiple disasters: TRAVELERS BEWARE! TERRORISTS, DISEASE, etc. another with lightning shooting through a plane mid flight- IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

Truman and (Y/N) sat down in front of the desk. Eventually a lady comes out with a napkin around her neck. “I’m sorry to keep you!” Truman stands up as a gentleman would do- as he was raised to do.

“Oh it’s okay!” Truman quells her.

“How can I help?” She sits down and removes the napkin.

“We would like to book a flight to Fiji, please.” (Y/N) chimed. The lady starts typing away at the computer.

“When would you like to leave?” Truman picks up his suitcase tapping the side.

“Today.” She nods and goes back to typing. The computer beeps a few times, and Truman perches his arms onto the desk. His chin resting on his hand. She starts shaking her head.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything for at least a month.” She turns to the both of them.

“A month?!” (Y/N) exasperated.

“I’m afraid it’s the busy season.” Truman scoffs.

“Do you want to book the flight?” She points to the computer.

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll make other arrangements. ‘Kay?” (Y/n) smiles to the lady. Truman and her get up to leave.

~

Their backup: the bus station.

The conductor yells: “LAST CALL FOR CHICAGO! ALL ABOARD!” As Truman was getting the tickets she waved down the bus conductor. The bus director blows his whistle. Truman finally got the tickets,”Thank you!”, and they raced off to the bus.

“Windy City, here we come!” Truman tells the bus conductor as he hands him their tickets. They get aboard. As they get aboard a little girl peeks out behind a seat.

“Mom isn’t that-“

“Shhh sweetie face the front.”

(Y/N) and Truman make it to their seats. The bus starts to sound horrendously loud with gears grinding onto one another. After a few attempts of starting the bus a loud hissing sound comes from the engine along with smoke of some sort.

“Everybody off. We’ve got a problem.” The bus director climbs aboard to tell them. Immediately everyone gets up. Either for their luggage or to leave. No one complains. Everyone files off the bus while Truman and (Y/N) stay.

“I’m sorry you two.” The bus driver seemed put down by the events. He then gets off the bus.

~

The scene cuts to audience members.

AM 1: “Why are they trying to go to Chicago?”

AM 2: “Well you see Truman’s dad was from Chicago, wasn’t he?”

AM 1: “No. his dentist was from Pensacola. His father was from Des Moines.”

AM 2: “B-but how come they want to go to Chicago?”

AM 3: “Their not going to Chicago. Their not going anywhere.” She shakes her head, “They won’t let them.”

~

The scene changes to the next morning. (Y/N) heads outside to see Truman still sitting in his car after not going to work.

“Truman?” She asks hesitant, “you okay?” Their neighbor and Pluto the Dalmatian was staring at them- as if they were also concerned.

“Get in.” He gestures with his fingers. She climbs into the passenger seat.

“What is it?”

“Look-“ he shows the rear view mirror. They wait, “I predict in just a moment we will see a lady on a red bike, then a man with flowers, and then a Volkswagen Beetle with a dented fender.” She waits and watches with him. It happens- a lady on a red bike, a man with flowers, the beetle with a dented fender.

“M-maybe it’s just an uh routine?” She was nervous and worried trying to call herself, picking her cuticles. Truman gently grasps her hands to stop her.

“Maybe OR- their walking the block. They just go around and around and around.” Truman started acting funny. She had it.

“Get out-“ she quipped.

“What-“ he was shocked. They never had a tongue with one another.

“Switch seats with me- now.” She started to climb into the drivers seat.

“Okay okay- OW!” A muffled sorry came through.

“Let’s go- now- let’s go to Fiji.” He starts laughing and so does she. His more hysterical and hers more nervous. She buckles up and so does he. She slams the gas and they back out. She starts driving in circles around the round about.

“Let’s forget Fiji!” Truman yells. “Can’t drive to Fiji!”

“ATLANTIC CITY!!!” She spins out towards a random road. Suddenly multiple cars and a truck stop them.

“Blocked at every turn.” She taps her thumb on the steering wheel.

“Beautifully synchronized, don’t you agree?” They look at each other- they know.

“Ya know what we should head home.”

“Agreed.” She speeds backwards towards to round about. “ACTUALLY-“ Truman pips up, “let go to New Orleans, party c’tay!” Truman sticks out his tongue and shakes his head back and forth- a goof- she smiles. Turning down the same road and the traffic is completely cleared.

“Like magic, wouldn’t you agree dear?”

“Absolutely, my love.”

~

Fuck. Why did they have to live on an island.

“We can turn back.” Truman tells her. The bridge loomed in front of them. The windows were rolled down, making the sound of the lapping waves all the more present.

“Absolutely not. My fears not as bad as yours…” they looked at each other. “Close your eyes.” She asks Truman. She starts speeding over the bridge, swerving slightly- “WE’RE OVER THE BRIDGE!” She exclaims happily. Truman laughs cheering with excitement and relief.

A warning sign on the road: FOREST FIRE WARNING

“Truman what about the sign!”

“Pull over I’ll drive! Don’t worry, I think it’s just an exaggeration!” She pulls over and they switch seats. As they keep racing down the road- a fire wall appears.

“Exaggerating?! That’s a literal wall of fire!!” He keeps pushing the gas and drives through the wall. Smoke fills the cabin of the car.

“Shit! Truman we have to be on fire!”

“It’s okay! It’s okay! It’s just smoke!” The smoke starts to disapate, “You okay?”

“Yes!” She coughs out.

“Wanna do it again?!” He laughs.

“No!” She laughs and smacks his arm.

~

A while later down the road.

“How do you think everyone will take this?” (Y/N) asks knowing that if this really was real life and not a show- her family (and Angela) would be worried sick.

“I don’t know but I do know I’m glad we don’t have a pet- let alone a kid.”

“Agreed.” A siren started to blare.

“What now?” Truman sighed. (Y/N) started biting her nails. He grasped her hand with one of his and kissed the back of it. She took a breath. They arrived at a scene of a nuclear plant being blockaded by the police.

Truman has the windows rolled down, “Back up! Back up!” An officer yelled at them. A speaker blared about a Red Alert, “There’s been a leakage at the power plant.”

“Is there anyway around?”

“Whole areas being evacuated.”

“Well good luck and thanks for the help.” (Y/N) pipped up.

“You’re welcome, (Y/N)!” The officer saluted and walked away.

She nor Truman said their names.

“(Y/N).” Truman whispers to himself with a dawning realization. He swiftly, discreetly unbuckles himself and (Y/N). They rush out of the car and into the woods.

“Hold my hand!” Truman shouts, they grasp each other's hand. Almost as if to say they have each other. That they aren’t crazy.

People in hazmat suites started to chase them in the woods. The perfect woods, in perfect rows. Truman found a stick and started swinging it at the people. Truman was tackled to the ground. “Truman!”

~

“Thank you for bringing them back officers.” Sam, (Y/N)’s mother, had been called to watch them. Unknown who called them- the police most likely- or…others.

“Next time, we’ll have to file charges.”

“I understand.” She nods to them, “Thanks again, good night.” She closes the front door. She stocks her way over to Truman and (Y/N) in the kitchen. (Y/N) was holding an ice pack to Truman’s head from where he was tackled.

“I swear I’m fine.” He whispers. She shakes her head at him.

“Fine,” she whispers, shaking her head. She reached up and kisses his forehead. Sam walks over to the counter and stands in front of them both.

“Let me get you some help,” Sam gently whispered. “You are not well.” A moment passed before (Y/N) asks.

“Mom, why do you want me to have kids? You can’t stand Truman.” She’s exhausted, he knows, everyone knows their in-laws hate their spouses.

“That’s not true!” Sam exclaims almost offended. She turns around briefly. Turning back to them with a cocoa tin in hand and a large smile. “Why don’t you let me fix you some of this new Mococoa drink? All natural cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicaragua- no artificial sweeteners!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” (Y/N) exasperated, she looks around. “Who you talking to?!”

“I’ve tasted other cocoas. This is the best!” Her mother was nervous- for some reason. She never really acted like a mom growing up. More like…a playmate. Babysitter almost.

(Y/N) stands up, “What the hell does this have to do with anything?” She’s walking towards Sam. “Tell me what’s happening!” She shouts. Truman stands up.

“You’re having a nervous breakdown, that's what!” (Y/N) scoffs as her mom backs up from her approaching form.

“What the hell mom!”

“(Y/N) you’re scaring me!” Sam grabs the dicer that can peel, dice, and chop.

“Hey hey! Don’t point that thing at her.” Truman stands in front of (Y/N).

“Alright enough you need to leave!”

“Fine! But don’t come crawling back to me when you need a babysitter!” Sam states. But ever so faintly just barely at a whisper, such unprofessional conditions.

That was the final straw. She broke. Sobbing Truman held her- her whole life a lie- or maybe she was lying to herself. But if that’s the case how did Truman experience the same things?

~

A few moments later Marlon showed up at the door. He had heard what happened and wanted to check on them both. (Y/N) was curled up against Truman with her puffy eyes. They had talked about their childhood with one another. How Marlon got pneumonia because (Y/N) wanted to play North Pole and camp outside. How Truman and him would cheat off each others tests- right together and wrong together.

The scene on the tv cuts to Cristoff- “…but, well, the point is I’d gladly walk in front of traffic for you two.”

The scene changes back to Marlon and the Burbanks. “…well the point is I’d gladly walk into traffic for you two.”

Back to Cristoff: “And the last thing I’d ever do is lie to you. Either of you.”

Marlon’s back on screen, “And the last thing that I would ever do…is lie to you. I mean think about it, if everybody is in on it.” He starts to get choked up. “I’d have to be in on it too.” He takes a sip of the beers he brought. “I’m not in on it because…there is no “it”…You both were right about something though.”

“What’s that?” Truman’s whispers.

“The thing that started all this…” he gets up and goes outside. They follow him. In the fog there stands a figure. A familiar one.

“Yep. I found him for you, Truman. That’s why I came by tonight.” He tsked, “I’m sure he’s got quite a story to tell.” The camera pans closer to Truman’s face. “Go to him.” Marion whispers placing his hand on Truman’s shoulder. The figure walks closer to them.

The scene goes back to Cristoff. “Easy on the fog. Stand-by light post cam.” A second passes, “Post cam.”

The scene changes to Truman. Marlon has wrapped his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulder as they watch Truman. He gets closer to his father.

Back to Cristoff. “Button cam three.” The scene is now through a button cam hidden on the cardigan. It’s Truman.

The tv shows audience members holding one another.

“I never stopped believing.” Truman tells his father.

More audience members are shown: this time a pair of older ladies. With a Truman pillow and (Y/N) mugs.

Christof returns on screen, “And wide curb cam eight.” The scene is now from the curb- a fully body wide shot from the side of Truman and Kirk.

“My son! Oh!” His father embraces him. (Y/N) is shown leaning on Marlon’s shoulder and sniffling.

Christof and a crew member appear on screen. “Move in for a close-up?” They suggest.

“N-n-no no…” his hand is raised while the other holds a pen. “Move back and…fade up music.” The music swells from the live piano player. “And now go in close!”

Truman’s father speaks, “All those years wasted! I’ll make it up to you son. I swear it.” Their still in an embrace. The camera zooms in to Truman’s smiling face above his fathers shoulder.

“Dad.” Truman cries. The crew starts to cheer. So does everyone else- the rest of the world- the audience members.

“Bravo!” Cries a crew member.

“That was a really great experience.” Everyone gives congratulations to Cristoff.

The scene changes to Sylvia. Sitting in the floor before her television. She watches Truman and (Y/N) share a cup of Mococoa- an ad plays below it as they drink. Sylvia’s face contorts with anger. More anger for the way he— Christoff— manipulates them.

The scene then shows a sort of replay or recap of The Truman and (Y/N) show- how it came to be. The picture of the two of them drinking coco is put in the upper right part of the screen.

Announcer: 1.7 billion were there for his birth, and later 2.3 billion for hers. “A star is born” flashes on the screen across baby photos. Over 200+ countries tuned in for their first steps. The world stood still as (Y/N) had her first kiss. As they grew so did the technology. An entire human life recorded on an intricate network of hidden cameras. A clip of Truman and (Y/N) through their neighbors trash can is shown. Broadcasted live and unedited 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to an audience around the globe. Coming to you now form Seahaven Island enclosed in the largest studio ever constructed- the scene zooms out to show the scale of the dome as it lives right above the Hollywood sign in LA- along with the Great Wall of China, one of only two man made structures visible from space. Now in its 30th great year it’s The Truman and (Y/N) Show!

~

Interviewer: “What a week it’s been. I don’t know about you— I was on pins and needles the entire time.”

The scene shows someone taking a bath with the television set up right next to it. The scene then changes back to the interviewer, Mike.

Interviewer: “Hello and good evening. I’m your host Mike Michaelson and welcome to Tru-(Y/N)-Talk our forum for issues growing out of the show a rare and exclusive interview with the shows conceived and creator. So, come with us now as we go live to the lunar room. On the 221st floor of the Omni Cam Echosphere. This is where we’ll find the world’s greatest Televisionary-“ the camera zooms into the moon to show Cristoff. “The designer and architect of the world within a world that is Seahaven Island—Christof.”

Mike: “Before we begin, I’d like to thank you on behalf of our audience for granting this exclusive interview. We know how demanding your schedule is- and we know how jealously you guard your privacy. This, sir, is indeed an honor.”

Christof: “Don’t mention it.” He sits down.

Mike: “Well, the catalyst for the recent dramatic events on the show has been Truman’s father. Kirk— and his attempts to infiltrate the show, but before we get into that. I think it’s worth noting that this is not the first time someone from the outside has attempted to reach both (Y/N) and Truman, is it?”

The scene changes to show (Y/N) and Truman spending the holidays together. Both of their families gathered watching the young (Y/N) and young Truman open presents.

Christof: “We have had close calls in the past…” A man pops out of a large present. Shouting: “(Y/N)! Truman! It’s television! Yes!” Their mothers pick them up and carry them out and their fathers wrestle the intruder. “I did it! I’m on the Truman and (Y/N) show!”

The scene changed once again, this time it shows Truman at the newsstand. A parachuter is coming down behind him in the background.

Mike: “But there’s never been anything to compare with this most recent breach in security— the first intruder to be a former cast member…” the parachuter has a sign taped to the front of his chest: TRUMAN YOU ARE ON TV! The scene changes back to Christof.

Christof: “A dead one at that.”

Mike: “Gotta say, writing Kirk back in— Masterstroke.”

Christof: “Since Kirk started this crisis in Truman’s life— and by association (Y/N)’s — I came to the conclusion that only he could end it.”

The scene shows (Y/N) and Truman as toddlers—about 5– at the beach. Their family started to shout at them as they reached the top of the rocky seashore. Kirk and her father- Neil- were yelling at them: “Truman! Truman! (Y/N)! No!” Neil hopped the fence and started racing for them.

“That’s off limits sweetheart.”, of course this peeked both of the young minds.

“Why dad what’s over there?” (Y/N) questioned. Everyone at the beach was staring at them— it was their normal.

“Nothing. It’s dangerous. That’s all.” Kirk chimed in. Kirk started climbing the rocks to get them down. “You’ve got to know your limitations you two.” He picked them both up and brought them down.

Mike: “But let’s remind viewers exactly why dad—Kirk— was written out in the first place.” The scene shows young Truman and (Y/N) staring out into the ocean.

Christof: “As Truman and (Y/N) grew up, we were forced to manufacture ways to keep them on the island.”

The scene shows a pre-teen Truman. “I’d like to be an explorer like the Great Magellan!” Informed the teacher. The teacher pulled down a map.

“Oh you’re too late. There’s really nothing left to explore.”

Christof: “For (Y/N) it was easier to dissuade her from wanting to leave. She didn’t want to be an explorer like Truman— she wanted to be an artists.”

The scene shows pre-teen (Y/N) and Truman at a pier. (Y/N) with her painting supplies and Truman with his binoculars. A dog was snarling and barking at them making them pause and leave.

Christof: “Finally, I came up with Kirk’s drowning.”

Mike: “Most effective.” He praised.

Christof: “Truman— and by association— (Y/N) as well have been terrified of the water ever since.” The scene shows pre-teen Truman and (Y/N) watch Kirk “drown” in front of them. Truman was bawling his eyes out— (Y/N) going numb but holding onto Truman like a lifeline. “When Kirk read the synopsis for the Death at the Sea episode he was disappointed to say the least.” What the kids don’t see is Kirk being rescued by a scuba diver and given oxygen. “I’m sure that’s what caused him to break back on to the set.” The scene returns to Christof and Mike.

Mike: “But how do you intend to explain his 22-year absence?”

Christof: “Amnesia.” Mike scoffs slightly.

Mike: “Brilliant. Let’s take some viewer phone calls: Charlotte, North Carolina, you’re on with Christof.”

Caller: “Uh, yeah, hi, Christof. I was wondering how many cameras you got in that town?”

Christof: “Somewhere in the vicinity of 5,000.”

Caller: “Woah, that’s a lot of cameras.” The scene zooms in on Christof’s face.

Christof: “Remember, we started with just two.” The image shows two ultrasound cameras— one of Truman and the other (Y/N). “They were curious from birth. Truman was premature by two weeks— (Y/N) was late by a week— Truman acted as if he couldn’t wait to get started.”

Mike: “and of course his eagerness to leave his mother’s womb was the very reason why he was one of the multiple baby boys chosen.”

Christof: “Yes, in competition with five other unwanted pregnancies. The casting of a show determined by an air date. Truman was the baby boy who arrived on cue.”

Mike: “(Y/N) of course was late, as she is in life.” Christof slightly chuckes.

Christof: “Ah yes, as for (Y/N) we didn’t want to add her until a year later once we knew that the general public would take well to seeing a show like this.”

Mike: “and incidentally, I believe both were the very first babies ever to be adopted by a corporation?”

Christof: “That’s correct.”

Mike: “The show, uh, has generated enormous revenues now equivalent to the gross national product of a small country.”

Christof: “People forget it takes the population of an entire country to keep the show running.”

Mike: “mhmm. Since the show on 24- hours a day without commercial interruption, uh- all those staggering revenues are generated by product placement or (Y/N)’s paintings.”

Christof: “That’s partially true. (Y/N) generates her own income. When she sells a painting she keeps that money, not the studio. However, everything on the show is for sale. From the actor’s wardrobe, food products, to the very homes they live in.”

Mike: “Uh and all of it available in the Truman and (Y/N) catalog. Operators are standing by. Christof, let me ask you: why do you think Truman and (Y/N) have never come close to discovering the true nature of their world until now?”

Christof: “We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented. It’s as simple as that”

Mike: “The Hague for Christof. Hello? The Hague?” There’s static and The Hague hangs up. “All right, we’ve lost that call. Let’s go to Hollywood, California. You’re on Tru-(Y/N) Talk.”

Caller: “Hi, Christof. I’d just like to say one thing: you’re a liar and a manipulator and what you’ve done to them is sick!”

Christof: “Well, we remember this voice, don’t we? How could we forget?” The scene shows that the caller is actually Sylvia.

Mike: “uh let’s go to another call.” Christof interrupts him, “No, no no. It’s fine Mike. I love to reminisce with former members of the cast. Sylvia…as you announced so melodramatically to the world you think because you persuaded (Y/N) to find Truman once— that you know what’s right for her? For him? You really think you’re in a position to judge them?”

Sylvia: “what right do you have to take a baby— two babies— a-a-and to turn their lives into some sort of mockery? Don’t you ever feel guilty?” Christof shakes his head.

Christof: “I have given them a chance to live normal lives. The world… the place you live in is the sick place. Seahaven’s the way the world should be.”

Sylvia: “They're not performers. Their prisoners. Look at them! Look at what you’ve done to them!”

Christof: “They can leave at any time. If his was more than just a vague ambition. If he— and she— were absolutely determined to discover the truth there’s no way we could prevent them. I think what distresses you really, caller, is that ultimately they prefer— as you call it— their cell. Mostly (Y/N) prefers it.”

Sylvia: “That’s where your wrong. You’re so wrong! She’ll prove you wrong.” Sylvia hangs up the call.

Mike: “Well, aside from the heated comments of a very vocal minority it’s been an overwhelmingly positive experience.”

Christof: “Yes. For Truman’s and (Y/N) and for the viewing of the public.”

Mike: “Well, Christof, I can’t thank you enough for giving so generously of your time tonight. I think it’s safe to say now that this crisis is behind us and that Truman and (Y/N) are back to their old selves. We can look forward to some exciting new developments?”

Christof: “Well, Mike, the big news is that Sam— (Y/N)’s mom, will be leaving Neil. A possible new love interest for Neil may be introduced. (Y/N) as an adult will have to navigate what it’s like to be a step-daughter as an adult.” The scene shows Sylvia staring at the little video picture in the top right corner. Showing (Y/N) and Truman eating cereal. She gently touches the picture of the two of them.

Christof: “I am also determined that the first ever live on television, conception will take place. Whether that be (Y/N)’s doctors having to fib a little about her needing to get off birth control o-or setting the mood who knows.” Mike chuckles.

Mike: “Well, another television milestone straight ahead. You heard it here first. It has been a singular honor and pleasure, sir. Christof, thank you.”

Christof: “Thank you, Mike.”

The scene shows an audience memeber has fallen asleep in their tub.

Then it shows both Truman and (Y/N) cuddled together sleeping. A large screen is showing this into the studio of Christof’s. Christof gently touches the screen. As if he was patting their heads to say goodnight.

[soullessjack]

oh my god wait I need to bring back my violent slapsticknatural posting. like you don’t get it we literally have zero power scaling for how far cas and jack’s healing factors go. we’ve only ever seen them got shot and stabbed , so who’s to say what else they could heal from? like picture this. you’re a monster of the week doing your monstrous business with some monster pals or something, completely unaware of angels or demons or anything else like that, and then in barges this stupid annoying hunter family to ruin the fun.

one of these guys looks like a cross between a gay porn parody of Columbo and a tax accountant. the other is, for one, Staunchly young to be a hunter, and he also looks like he would’ve been plastered on some teenage girl’s wall as a poster with little pink glittery gel pen hearts and initial pluses drawn all around him. maybe even have a major role in a Disney sitcom. gay porn Columbo could put up a pretty good fight but you can take heartthrob out like it’s nothin.’ so you go and work some monster magic beating his ass and eventually you snap his neck like a twig.

your monster buddies run a clawed fist clean through the chest of gay porn Columbo and for a minute he goes satisfactorily limp on their arm. for a minute small town Zac Efron lies on the floor with his head at a horrible angle, looking like a doll that got dropped the wrong way, and for another minute more you hear the jolly green giant and his tiny little Ken doll screaming and shrieking in total agony and because you’re a narrative monster of the week it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. But then something happens. gay porn columbo twitches and jumps back to life with an arm still lodged all the way through his chest, and with a strength even more inhuman than yours he rips it out of himself, groaning with pain but still acting as if he were merely removing an inconveniencing splinter.

your monster buddy shrieks at the touch, then howls in pain as gay porn Columbo just fucking breaks his arm. tiny little Ken doll and jolly green giant are elated but also not very shocked that their pal survived that. hm. you silently make note of that and then turn to face your own kill, only to find the most sickening nauseating sound ever coming from his corpse, like a thick wet grinding, and his head slowly rotating back around like a doll again. to your horror, you realize that his very spine is completely rearranging itself, setting itself back in place and his head is very correcting the angle you sharply pulled it to.

you don’t know what to think anymore. you don’t know what to do. these are hunters, human hunters, hunters are always humans, that’s how it fucking works. it’s never been anything else, it’s not some unspoken rule, it just is the reality of hunters and monsters. the other two guys, jolly green and Ken Doll, are clearly human, and they’re hunters, but then why are they parading around with whatever the fuck these freaks are? And why are these freaks hunters, too? Are they traitors? What the fuck is this? but before you can even move your thoughts into words, you’re gutted and shot and broken along with your monster buddies. as you lay dying, bleeding out, still trying to make sense of everything that just happened, oscillating between darkness and fleeting vision, you hear the gruff voice of gay porn Columbo complaining about his chest pain as if he were experiencing heartburn from a bad pizza. how it takes so much out of him to waste his “grace” on mending clothes along with wounds. then you hear the voice of the annoying boy band clone whine about a headache, asking if the other two guys have any aspirin strong enough for a broken neck.

then you die, and you still don’t know what the fuck just happened.

[joseac96]

"This holiday season, there's no funny business like monkey business"

Alright, so for context here, I've communicated with @dyandfunny and was also given some info about these two characters of theirs, Funny the Shroob and DY. One info I was told is that DY would call Funny "monkey" and after learning this I thought it would be funny to try and draw the shroob in a monkey costume.

But then I thought of another idea. 'What if I make a parody of the Lion King poster? Specifically Lion King 1 1/2, or Lion King 3 Hakuna Matata in some regions'. So here we have DY holding Funny in a monkey costume on a cliff Circle of Life style.

I even added Mario, Luigi, Starlow, and Bowser in the background. Originally, I was gonna have DY shout "Monkey!" as he's holding Funny, but I decided to go with the Koopa King saying the phrase while pointing at the duo, thinking it would be funnier. But this is also a reference to the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie.

And while I don't think Starlow has had any encounters with the shroobs since she wasn't in Partners in Time, aside from a secret battle in Bowser's Inside Story, I bet that she would burst into laughter seeing the shroob in a monkey suit.

While working on drafts for this, I presented them to @dyandfunny, even getting some suggestions, mainly with how Funny should be held.

I can imagine the duo going through many misadventures filled with chaos and shenanigans.

Funny the Shroob and DY belong to @dyandfunny

[tedlyanderson]

Reading posts from someone I follow on why image generators are a legitimate form of art and their use should be normalized, and it's refreshing to encounter some pro-generative-AI arguments more nuanced than "I don't want to pay artists." I still think they're fundamentally wrong, but it's been extremely helpful, because it's forced me to examine my own thoughts on the matter and determine why, exactly, I believe what I do. Something something mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone, idk, I didn't watch Thame of Groans.

(Of course I'm not going to mention the person by name or tag them or anything, and for that matter I'd appreciate it if people didn't reblog this. I'm not writing this to get into an argument; I'm mostly just consolidating my own thoughts into a semi-coherent form.)

There are a number of arguments that have been leveled against generative AI, some of which I find more persuasive than others. The energy usage and financial waste, for instance, are significant, but not relevant in the case of one person using a locally hosted image generator and not selling the results. The question of the quality of the work is similarly unimportant to the bigger question; AI-generated images are going to continue to get better-looking as the technology improves, and "good" versus "bad" art is impossible to define in a meaningful way for the purposes of this argument.

The copyright argument is much more important, particularly to me as a creator. Another user pointed out that copyright cases against LLMs (on behalf of creators whose works were included in the learning sets) could have a potentially deleterious effect on fair use and transformative artworks. I'm not hooked into the legal scholarship on this, so I can't respond to that point. I do think it's somewhat short-sighted of that user to say "AI is a tool like any other, its use can be good or evil, our true enemy is capitalism," and then turn around and attack copyright as some kind of uniquely evil legal technology, rather than a technology that can also be used for good (making sure artists are recognized and paid for their work) or evil (large corporations shutting down parodies). And yeah, the revolution would fix all this, but how long do we have to wait for that? And what can we do in the meantime?

Anyway, the one argument that made me genuinely examine my own beliefs was "what is art anyway, and can you define it in a way that does not disqualify large swaths of what is widely recognized as human creative work and also excludes generative AI?" Because that's the meat of all this—not whether image generators suck up too much energy (because it's not about the specifics of the technology, which will change and improve over time, just as new types of paint do not fundamentally alter the nature of painting) nor copyright (which is a whole other legal mess), but whether we can call this "art" at all. For that, you need a definition, and that's the sticking point.

The original poster named a couple common ways of defining art/not-art (the "smell test," i.e. I Know It When I See It, and the "quality test," i.e. Can You Hang It In A Museum, which are largely the same but from different perspectives), and points out that they and other definitions would exclude quite a lot of human endeavors that most people would describe as art (graffiti, calligraphy) as well as fields that are more difficult to define but could constitute art (mathematics, programming).

(They also ascribed to anyone who attempted to make such a definition the motivation of not just gatekeeping but unadulterated fascism, which is an argument I think holds no water and wins them no friends, but. Let's just leave the paranoia aside and concentrate on the argument itself.)

So what is art? How do we define it, and why do I fundamentally disagree that anything that comes out of an image generator can be considered "art"?

I don't think this is sufficient for a full definition, but after talking it over with friends, I think, in part, art requires a perspective, which is to say that it must be the result of individual human decisions about non-trivial components. Another way to state this would be that the artist (if indeed they are an artist) must be able to make conscious choices about the work that are beyond what is strictly necessary for its completion.

Should the background be blue or green? Would this sentence be improved by an adjective? How large of a flourish should this letter have? What if I carve the gargoyle's snarl more deeply? What color should the hair of my halfling rogue be? These choices are indicative of a product that would be widely recognized as belonging to the category of "art."

Obviously, there are still gray areas. Certain fields have both a creator and a performer; can we say that one is "more of" an artist than the other? What about commissioned works? What if the artist is creating something within a strict limit or form—for instance, the 14-line sonnet, or a novel without the letter 'e'? What about Duchamp's Fountain, or John Cage's "4'33""? What about works with a large number of creators, such as films or collaborative writings? What about works where there is a level of interactivity with the audience, such as video games or certain theater pieces? Those and other questions are certainly open to debate, and should be debated! But to my mind, they do not challenge the fundamental principle, which is that the artist is an artist because they exercise choice in the process of creation.

Thus, by my (admittedly partial and underdeveloped) definition, I don't regard AI-generated images as art. The algorithm does not choose in a meaningful way; it merely calculates the most statistically likely next word/pixel/frame/etc. based on the database and the prompt with which is has been provided. (If you want to claim that this constitutes a choice, please submit a 5,000-word essay on whether free will exists and how we could possibly know if it does.) The remixer samples a specific beat; the collage artist cuts a particular image out of a magazine; the parodist deliberately draws in a specific way. The computer computes. It uses a mathematical operation—which, by definition, is repeatable and will produce the exact same outputs, given the same inputs. (Yes, the results have elements of randomization. We all know that true randomness is impossible for a computer, so they produce quasi-random numbers using things like the system time and so forth. I don't want to split hairs on this specific point. You get what I'm gesturing to. Don't look at the finger, look at the moon.) A prompt limits the database to certain specific sets, which the algorithm assembles according to its internal logic. The input is disconnected from the outputs; anyone could input the same prompt and receive the same art. (Even The Policeman's Beard is Half Constructed required an editor.) Generative AI is no more "creating" a piece of visual art than turning a radio dial to a specific station is "composing" the music that plays. The purely mathematical nature of its generative process makes it no qualitatively different from assembling a Lego set according to the directions.

The first obvious challenge to my partial definition is to say that it just restates the premise and shifts the goalposts: art is something that must be made by a person, and thus cannot be made by a computer. Which is fair! This is a verbalization of a belief I've always held about art, and which caused me to immediately (instinctively, unthinkingly) reject the idea that an AI-generated image could be "art." That's how I got into this discursive mess! It's why my brain recoiled when I heard someone call these images "art"!

But it also helps me understand why I instinctively categorize other acts and works as either "art" or "not art." A photograph was taken by a person at a specific time and a specific place, its elements arranged and its moment chosen according to the photographer's visual logic; it is therefore art. A hamburger put together by an underpaid worker at McDonald's is not art; a recipe by a chef that combines existing ingredients in a new way or using a new method is; a meal created by a person who tweaked a recipe might be. (That one might actually run counter to current copyright law, I'm not sure.) A mechanism assembled by a worker on an assembly line, identical in every way to another mechanism made by a different worker, is not art, because there was no choice on the part of the worker. (Could it be art because the designer of the mechanism exercised choice? Depends on the nature of the mechanism and the industry! Venmo me $20 for a debate.) A dance choreographed to produce a specific visual effect is art; an exercise designed to stretch certain muscles in the most efficient and painless way is not art. And so forth.

AI-generated images are not art. (They are also not a medium, which I saw several other commentators claim; an image is an image, regardless of where it comes from. I'm already knee-deep in linguistic debate, let's not cloud the matter any further.) Generative AI is a tool, and there are and can be creative and ethical uses for it! But to claim that it is capable of making art is giving agency to a thing that cannot have it, and claiming that someone who writes "sexy anime girl" in a prompt field is an artist is to expand the meaning of that word to the point of nonsense.

More than one person has brought up Jorge Luis Borges' "The Library of Babel" when talking about the potential of AI-generated works. It's got some bearing on the question, sure, but I feel like the more apropos point of comparison is his story "Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote." In that work, Pierre Menard is a friend of the author's who is attempting to become the author of Don Quixote—not in the sense that he is trying to plagiarize the work, or time-travel and replace Cervantes in history, but that he is trying to make himself into a version of himself that could have independently written Don Quixote. It's partly a critique of elements of literary criticism, in that Quixote would become a far more interesting book (according to the narrator) if it had been written by a 20th-century Frenchman rather than a 17th-century Spaniard (it was written some 28 years before Barthes' "The Death of the Author," for context). But in the context of the current argument of generative AI, and specifically to my fumbling attempts to defining what is and is not art, it's an illustrative example of what I think it all boils down to: any work of art is the work of an artist, who inevitably brings to the work perspective/knowledge/experience/an individual understanding of the world. Ascribing any such perspective to an algorithm is just fetishism. (And not the kind that generative AI is most often used for.)

Or, to put this way more succinctly and directly:

[sketching-shark]

🔥 with Tang Sanzang or his Buddha of Glorious Sandalwood self, your pick

He would be SO much more interesting if he was written to be more like the historical Xuanzang than as a parody of Confucian scholars!!!

Feel like I'm preaching to the choir in some ways, but yea it's been remarked on by many another poster that of all the pilgrims Tang Sanzang does usually come across as the most static (with perhaps the exception of Bai Longma, but he spends most of his time as a horse so cut him some slack) and sometimes the most annoying. Which does make sense in a lot of ways, especially since you could reasonable argue that everyone's favorite weepy monk presents an early version of the "damsel in distress trope" given how often his role in the story is to get kidnapped and saved.

That said, it has been nice to see an uptick of people arguing that given the circumstances of having to wrangle three extremely dangerous yaoguai on a journey where he's routinely threatened with death by devouring and multiple instances of sexual assault, a lot of Tang Sanzang's even more frustrating actions do make quite a bit of sense, from using the headband against Sun Wukong to the favoritism towards Zhu Bajie (i.e. the one pilgrim who hadn't tried to kill/eat him). The monk doesn't change much over the course of the journey, but I'm in the camp that there's some pretty interesting implications about how he thinks & approaches the world! So three cheers to the og for making it crystal clear on just how messed up each of the pilgrims are lmao.

Even so, I do think it would be really cool if JTTW itself or retellings spent more time making the implicit explicit, as it were, and let Tang Sanzang grow and change as a character outside of his usual mandated tropes. I do think a lot of this could be accomplished by including more traits from Xuanzang himself, who if I'm remembering this right he was both a master translator, a savvy diplomat (having reportedly gotten along well with everyone from local rulers to bandits), and possessed a pretty amazing tenacity and set of travel skills. Not to mention I think it would be amazing if Tang Sanzang's story followed Xuanzang in that the historical monk was NOT permitted by the Tang emperor to travel west, but did so in direct defiance to that rule because he was that dedicated to reviewing the Buddhist scripture in India and bring its lessons back to China. Said as much before, but that situation could add a really interesting layer to the general image of the world JTTW presents!

[nhokesutcliffe]

“In 1965, before the Stonewall Rebellion, Hugh Hefner & Co. sent Silverstein to report on Fire Island's burgeoning gay scene. "Shel's most recent (and most unusual) Playboy assignment: to relax, as best he could, for a week at a high-camp summer resort," says the magazine in the illustrated story's introduction. It goes on:

"In the last few years homosexuality as a social phenomenon has emerged from the shadows, to the extent that today there are clearly recognized gay enclaves in most big cities.... Here, sans stares, homosexuals of every stripe gayly enjoy the amenities of a thriving vacation community. And here, through this summer fairyland, strolled our straight John, bewhiskered, bare-pated, and bewildered, recording for posterity his walk on the Wilde Side."

It appears to be a critical piece, especially considering captions like one that describes as drag queen as a "gay deceiver" and another in which Silverstein "hears bold new solution to population control," but Silverstein's illustrations weren't meant to harm. They were a parody of popular opinion. "Silverstein, made himself an actor in the cartoons, thereby giving them a different and maybe slightly complicated viewpoint as to where the humor lay," writes Jarry at StreetLaughter, a blog dedicated to comic stereotypes. "The cartoons lampoon and deflate the expectations of the tourist, humanizing the apparently foreign, yet for comic effect they ring new changes on those same foreign and cultural stereotypes."

Of course we can't know what Playboy's '60s-era readers thought of Silverstein's empathetic send-up, but one can imagine that Silverstein had a ball bouncing around what was at that time a very queer scene indeed.”

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Okay. Let's talk about Kay in The Forgotten Turnabout.

I've mentioned in a post before how I think Kay doesn't have a purpose in AAI2 (as in, AAI was all about the Yatagarasu which is her story, but AAI2 generally has nothing to do with her, and you can see this change just by looking at how she's positioned in the promotional material for the two games:

[left AAI; right AAI2.] In the left poster, while she's at Edgeworth's back, it's clear that they're both the main focus. In the right, though, she's on par with Gumshoe).

And I think the result of her slight lack of direction in the game culminates in what happens to her and her character in Forgotten.

From the beginning of AAI2, you can kind of tell that Kay was written to a bit different from how she was in AAI. She's still fairly consistent with how she was there, but the game kind of bounces between her original characterisation and her newer one, where she's slightly denser (see her calling the laser pointer a mole in Target, when she should definitely have known what it was; and them explaining to her what a prison is in Imprisoned like she wouldn't know??) and less concerned with maintaining formality around Edgeworth, although they haven't interacted since the end of AAI (see her partner opening line changing from "Yes?" to "Yeah, what's up?"). She also seems more eager for his approval (there are a few times when she questions/asserts her effectiveness as an assistant when I don't remember her ever doing that in AAI), and, overall just a little more like Maya.

In Imprisoned, when she freaks out, Kay hits Ray, which is notable because we've only seen her resort to violence before on purpose and as a child (whereas Mia/Maya have both hit people out of emotion). I'm not going to go through the whole game, but I bring it up because there's an argument to be made that they're trying to replicate the Phoenix-Maya dynamic and push the Dadworth interpretation in AAI2 -- probably because they realised it'd be popular with the fans -- and this comes to the forefront in Forgotten.

First, just a note about AA's amnesia cases. The thing about these cases is that they're usually done to explore some formerly unseen aspect of a character (as is with Phoenix and the one in DGS), BUT they're always true to the nature of the character (as is most clearly observed with Thalassa). This is... not so in Forgotten.

The parts about Kay that appear to remain in Forgotten are her politeness and sense of honour, both of which get dialed up to 11 and both of which we already know she possess. Everything else about her personality, though, is altered and has always reminded me of Iris (if you made a parody of Iris's soft and seemingly delicate nature). That's mostly because (1) they have similar sprites

and (2) because they're rehashing Edgeworth's mini arc in T&T (which I don't mind because T&T did leave room for that concept to be explored further) where he acts as the defence for, you guessed it, Iris. Looking at it more closely, though, I can definitely see bits of Maya mixed in, too.

The most obvious parallel to Maya, and by extension Phoenix, here is that you act as a... not-prosecutor who defends their assistant from murder charges that even they think they might be guilty of (Reunion, and Turnabout, anyone?). Just like Reunion Maya, Forgotten Kay has poor self-esteem (albeit to a greater, comedic degree), thinks of herself as weak and useless, and becomes reliant on Edgeworth for both her emotional and situational needs (this is not a dig at Maya; she was in jail after having her first big channeling session result in death. Her reaction was natural).

Another less serious but obvious alteration made to make Kay seem more like Maya here is her relationship with food -- which I know sounds ridiculous but!! It's really what tipped me off to her Maya-fication to begin with!!!

You see, in Forgotten, there's a point where Kay talks about hamburgers:

Kay: Umm... OK. I remember a faint scent... It was a wonderful smell coming from the counter of a food stall... I followed the fragrance, only to find a perfectly sculpted burger, resting on two golden buns... The tender and juicy patty made my taste buds sing with joy... Yes, I can remember what I thought at that moment! ...I want seconds!

The thing about this that stands out to me is that you never get a line about food like this from Kay in AAI; and I know this, because not only is the only time Kay ever brings up food in AAI with regards to Swiss rolls (which are notably her favourite treats), you have the option of presenting food to her, which gives you this dialogue:

Kay: It's a box of Samurai Dogs, right? Ah, but see, I'm a Jammin' Ninja fan! So, while I would love to have one... I'm going to be strong and resist the urge!

She would have one but she'll refrain. It blatantly goes against how she acts in Forgotten, and it's so obvious that they only did that to make her more like Maya!!! They even use burgers!!!!

So why am I even getting all uppity about this? There's nothing wrong with being like Maya is there? She's a great character. And, yeah, she is, but the point of Kay is that she's meant to be a foil to Maya... and Edgeworth.

Both Maya and Edgeworth lost their parents at a very young age. So did Kay. But, unlike Maya and Edgeworth, Kay was specifically written to have had the emotional support and strength she needed to move on from her father's death. Her character was created in a way that shows how you can still love and respect a dead family member (and choose to continue their legacy) without being held back by grief and trauma the way Edgeworth largely is. By making amnesiac Kay behave in a way that is so self-deprecating and reliant on other people for her emotional needs, you are implying that this has been who she is deep inside all along and diluting that message of being able to move forwards while still holding onto your love for the people you've lost. It undermines the resilience that has been a part of Kay's core as a character from her conception, and basically flattens everything that makes her... Kay.

Now, this is obviously not great, but what really gets to me about this is that they didn't need to do this for the case to still work. They could have given Kay a milder form of amnesia, where she has a gap in her memory regarding why she was up on that roof and what happened, and the story would have largely functioned the same way. The only reason I can think of for why they do a complete 180 on her personality is because they wanted to use her to develop Edgeworth's character.

Because think about it: we've seen Kay put in a position where she's been accused of murder before, and that didn't affect our or Edgeworth's desire to save her. That drama and the feelings invoked by placing Kay at such risk would still exist; the only thing that would change is Kay's reaction to it. We know from Ablaze that she wouldn't just fold and rely on Edgeworth's help; she would fight back. Her behaviour in Forgotten just doesn't quite align with her usual character (aside from being extremely honourable and polite), which makes me wonder why they did it. And the only answer I can find is that it gives Edgeworth someone to 'save' in the greatest sense of that word (because, remember, she's also extremely emotionally vulnerable and dependent on him here) and furthers his development as a character.

You remember at the beginning when I said Kay didn't have a purpose in this game? I think the developers felt that, too, and they decided that her purpose would be to make Edgeworth a better person and strengthen his arc by giving him someone to protect, without really considering what this would do to her character. This case was never about Kay; it was always about Edgeworth. And, honestly, that should have been obvious from the very moment you realise that Kay is being granted an amnesia plotline, because that whole thing about amnesia in AA being used to reveal parts of a character previously unseen? Yeah, that was never going to work with Kay. Because Kay doesn't wear a mask. She is who she is... until she isn't.

Honestly, I've said pretty much everything I wanted to say about Forgotten and Kay, so thank you if you've read this far. I really appreciate it 💝💖💕 The rest of this is me basically talking about how this change affects my feelings on the game and this interpretation of the Kay-Edgeworth dynamic, so you can stop reading now if that doesn't interest you and still get the basic point of this post.

I suppose I'll start by reiterating that I do like AAI2 despite what it may seem. The characters it introduces are some of my favourites in the franchise, and, in fact, the actual plot of Forgotten with the PIC is my favourite part of the entire game. I thought it was brilliant, but I just needed to get this out because... I don't know, it was bothering me for some reason hskdhdj Like, AA has some amazing female characters, but I know better than to go into it expecting some kind of boundary-pushing piece of new feminist media, believe me; it doesn't surprise me that they used Kay to push Edgeworth's character forwards. It is his game, after all. But I guess it's just a little frustrating to see after they genuinely achieved something great with her characterisation in AAI only to... there's no less inflammatory way to put it, infantilise her? a little? for the sake of developing a male character?

(Especially when I don't think Edgeworth even needed it?? Like, I'm pretty sure he would have been just as adamant about saving her if she had been her normal self so mmm???? It was likely just done to make him seem liked he'd be a good father and up his popularity a bit more, honestly. As if he needed it).

Again, I have no issues with anyone who enjoys the father-daughter (or brother-sister) dynamics pushed by this case; it's literally in the text, I can't say you're wrong for it and like. My opinion shouldn't matter to you anyway! It's fandom, do what makes you happy. But I personally can't get past what is actually being suggested when the game, or fanworks, echo the traits grafted onto Kay in this case within them. Like what it means when she's essentially made to take a few steps back so she's less as at peace with her father's death than she was when we first met her, or less independent and self-assured than she usually is -- especially when this is done only for an older male character (most likely Edgeworth but it could be anyone) to come in and either see themselves in her, thus coming to a conclusion that helps them better themselves in some way, or take on a "fatherly" position that lets them comfort her back to a level of confidence she would usually be at anyway, while simultaneously coming across as being such a good person (which is usually the focus/point of these kinds of things).

And, like, if you don't see a problem with Kay's characterisation in this version of their relationship, that's perfectly fine! If you think I'm reaching and do enjoy the Dadworth dynamic for what it is, then please don't let me rain on your parade. My main thing is that I want better for Kay, and this case just didn't satisfy my need for that.

Anyway, yeah! That's pretty much it. Thank you so much for everyone who read all of this, and I hope you got some amusement out of it if nothing else. Feel free to tell me your thoughts, too!