#from my love for my grandmother
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#1: Keep Fighting
Keep fighting. You're more powerful than you think.
"Your history is in our ancestors, and everything they were has been passed down to you.
As long as you're alive, nothing is ever truly lost."
I was eighteen years old, when I suddenly found my people. When, unexpectedly, my origin, that was not to be spoken of, was presented to me as something to be proud and loud about.
"As long as you're alive..."
My grandmother spoke these words to me one lonely morning, when it was just us. Everyone else was still asleep, and she would sit my the fireplace in the library and smoke while I would keep her company.
We speak about these subjects often, and every time we circle back to the same feelings that have lived in our family for years by now;
That complicated, unexplainable grief that seems to have no reason or end, the feeling of hopelessness and like something is missing. The inability to trust 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴, and the overprotective tendencies over family.
Outside of those late nights and early mornings, my family doesn't talk about feelings or anything similar. Even then, talking is hard for grandma. It is to me as well, but I'm learning.
They call it intergenerational trauma. I call it an average Tuesday.
Helplessness.
There's a whole culture and language out there that's supposed to be ours. Yet, I feel so disconnected. I know a mere fraction of all of it. I'm stuck in the gray area, the in-between. I'm not Finnish, so I can't give up, but I don't know anything, so maybe I should.
I wonder quietly how many tears have been shed so I could exist, so I could keep demanding,
See us, hear us, acknowledge that we exist, acknowledge what you've done!
Where's the hope and faith in that?
I imagine myself telling my great-grandmother, who was my age in 1943, that I still have hope, I'm still fighting for my place in the world, and for a moment I believe it myself.
Great-grandmother,
Would you be proud of me? Do you have any reason to be?
#karelian#CSJ journal entries#indigenous people#few lines taken from an old entry that is now gone in the void#from my love for my grandmother#journal#writing#creative writing#personal vent#personal thoughts#original work#original writing#mine
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train.
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person.
And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right!
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically.
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten.
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss.
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings.
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine.
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk!
And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves.
Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life?
Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son?
…
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Deadly Decisions#Danny is Not Ghost King & he doesn’t want to be#Danny isn’t from the same timeline as DC but he hops around so many that he’s formed a few favorites#You Know the bats are going to go crazy searching for some sort of proof of Danny’s existence when they finally communicate w/ each other#Why yes Danny is an adult lol (he is also tall but has body more like his mom)#Yes Sam showed him how to do makeup & it was a bonding thing while they bitched#Is Danny Dusan’s mom? Wonderful question that the league is pondering themself#Danny introduced Sam & Tucker to Ras once & it was horrific how well they got along#Danny almost forgot that Tucker was once a royal dictator who had constant assassination attempts#Sam & Ras bond over violent love of nature & willingness to kill to keep it safe from assholes#Damian about Danny: Obviously this is Grandmother#Jason after being thrown in the Pit: Who are you Where am I What the fuck#Damian: :O Akhi you can speak now :D Come see my puppy Grandmother gave me for protection#Ras & Danny: Threatening each other#Everyone else: Do they want to kill each other or are they flirting or both…#Space Core Danny#Star Core Jason
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Comfy & cozy are we ✨🎄
#spn fanart#destiel#destiel fanart#dean winchester#castiel#spn#supernatural#wiggleart#spnfanart#worked on this on and off the last few weeks as I finished the coloring book#so I could remember how to use color and not get burned out by doing line art all month lmao#added the ceramic Christmas tree bc I’m obsessed with mine#mine is from my grandmother it was hers since the 40s I think?#idk I was fascinated by it as a child and so when my grandfather died I got it#I love it to bits lol
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I love your blog! It brings me an immense amount of joy!! And your art style is so cute!! But I have to know.. Do we think Homelander likes pumpkin spice lattes?? Do Homelander and Reader partake in fall festivities?
Thank you so very much!! I'm so happy to hear that you like my stuff! ❤️🫂
With his upbringing I imagine Homelander thinks of food purely as sustenance, like he eats it for energy and doesn't care about savouring any flavours. But of cooooourse, if he had an s/o who wanted to share foods with him, he would give anything a try just for that true "couple quality time". I don't know if his tastebuds are stronger like his other senses (hearing, sight, smell), so I can't say if he's a man who partakes in sweet foods. He'd probably think a pumpkin spice latte was gross as it's a bit intense with the sugar and artificial flavours. But his reaction would make the reader nickname him "pumpkin" for the rest of the season. And that would fluster him to his core. >w>
And I don't know how many Fall activities the reader could manage to drag Homie too, lol. They'd want to do everything with him since he never did any as a child, and as an adult it'd be purely for Vought functions. But there wouldn't be much chance for alone time going out in public for apple picking or selecting a pumpkin. He'd probably rent out an entire farm just for the two of them, perks of having unlimited Vought money, haha. Spending some quiet time outside, taking a moment to experience the Fall season. Going for a nice walk through an orchard, a crisp breeze blowing through his hair with crinkly leaves underfoot. Just the small human things he's never been allowed to participate in.
#asks#homelander#homelander x reader#g/t#size difference#my art#drawing this was a lovely distraction from my grandmother's death so thank you ;_;
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I was tagged by @fluencylevelfrench. Thank you!
Tagging @the-forest-library, @xsleepyphiliax, @thehobbitwithstickyuppyhair, @lettersfromthelighthouse, and anyone who wants to do this! (No pressure to those tagged, of course)
#tagged#what would you take from my room#poll#polls#the embroidery is a real quote my grandmother said to me#my friend made it for me as a joke and i love it#it has skulls and hearts
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Marwa Bziwech & Charles Monet; a pair of law students who gave up stuffy suits to be paranormal investigators together in the neboulous pre war era of French protectorate-Beylik Tunisia. They hate each other.
#my art#fennec.art#fennec.origin#ocs#original art#historical fiction#could a butch woman and gay man really fall in love? (trick question they're both aro. as always)#charles is a trust fund pretty boy coasting off a fat inheritance from his grandmother#he's autistic in that bbc sherlock way where he's an asshole but ppl like him somehow??#marwa is a very angry rebel who's just barely composed herself in order to exist in society#they have to mentor a weirdo teenager who has the fate of nations in his hands. they just barely keep their sanity
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For your ask, this is a c. 1900s paper fan I was gifted with some of my favourite jewellery. The fan was meant to bring me luck for A Thing and it did - and I hope it will give you some good luck, too.
Oh my gosh that fan is a dream! The carving! What a treasure to have!
Thank you so much for sharing it with me💖
#fun fact: i have a brooch from my grandmother that is very like yours#the red one in the corner#the picture is also very lovely and aesthetic#favourite things show and tell#and thank you for the good luck#éventail
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I have a bunch of vintage cookbooks given to me by family members, and I've been testing them out. I've been documenting the recipes and results (mostly good, but there have been a couple flops) on an Instagram I made for this purpose.
and even tho this is a personal project of mine and it doesn't need people to be viewing it, the big reason I started up this account is to share these recipes. my grandmother that passed away earlier this year gave me the oldest cookbooks I have, the ones that are certainly out of print and impossible to find. my grandmother believed in sharing love via food, and there is no better way to honor her memory than to share recipes so that they don't disappear.
so. to see if I can get a bit of a bigger audience for my little pet project, to further my goal of spreading these recipes so they don't fade into obscurity, here is the link for the Instagram! if you like vintage recipes, classic Midwestern recipes, or even just want to see what the hell are in these old cookbooks, please, give me a follow there.
:)
#my oldest cookbook is I shit you not almost a century old#I've done two recipes from it thus far and both turned out quite good#also. sorry for the sorta kinda guilt trip with my grandmother there#but I couldn't not mention her. like I said her love for feeding people is why I started the whole thing!#so yeah if you have Instagram pls give me a follow there!#I promise you'll find something you're interested in. there's some good variety for these recipes#AND I've been adapting them for my stupid dietary restrictions so if you have similar issues you can see how I did it#speecher speaks
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I wonder how my great great great grandma who was born in 1907 and died before even my mom was born would feel to know that in 2024 there's a cat named after her. Like to know that her own great granddaughter who she only ever known as a little girl, would as a 65 year old woman, adopt a cat and think like...'she reminds me of my great grandmother who's been gone longer now than I ever knew her.'
#the way one generation turns into another always makes me think#it's less about the cat and more so that someone would remember you in such a way several decades after youre gone#my grandma talks about stories of her great grandmother#or her big maw as she calls her#and it's always from the perspective of a little girl looking up to a maternal figure#and it always jars me bcus that's how ive always looked at my grandma#the relationship i have with my grandmother she also once had with her grandmother and so on and so on#and then it makes me think even more to hear these stories about the grandmother my grandmother loved dearly#and I've never met her#to feel connected to a woman through your mother through her mother through her mother through hers and it's this line of mother to daughte#but you've never met her yourself#but someone you love once loved her#lover her enough to even as an old lady see a cat and be immediately reminded of how she was a lifetime ago#are we all just a string of short lived experiences and memories carried along down the passage of time
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and when all the swifties listen to florence and the machine and experience what good lyricism feels like
#florence and the machine#her best lyrics will never survive and in a moment of joy and fury i threw myself from the balcony like my grandmother some years before me#i've always been in love with you! could you tell it from the moment i met you?
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How did you conquer your fear of dogs?
That’s actually SUCH a sweet story - a dog saved my life.
My grandparents (who are farmers/ranchers) got a dog to help them with herding livestock and she was the calmest, sweetest, most well-trained dog who ever lived. She absolutely adored me but could tell I was petrified of her, so she always stayed in my orbit without ever touching me or coming too near.
One summer day when I was ~10yo, I’m walking back to their house for some lunch and she’s trotting a few yards behind me. Suddenly, she does something she’s never done before: she growls all deep and scary then races forward at top speed and knocks me to the ground.
I’m obviously terrified, but then I hear a rattling sound, a loud yelp, then another growl. Scrambling backwards, I look up to see a dead rattlesnake right where I was about to walk, with my grandparent’s dog whimpering and licking at her leg.
I go FLYING back to the house sobbing and hollering that we have to go get her, but just as we’re running back out the door, she comes limping up the road behind me as fast as she can, beelining straight for me to make sure I’m alright
Rattlesnake venom can kill a grown man and WILL kill a 10yo 50lb girl or a 2yo 50lb dog, so I spent the whole night laying on the kitchen floor with her, worriedly petting at her head and pressing my face into her soft fur as an IV dripped antivenom into her.
(and fifteen years later - only two years ago - I helped my grandad bury her under the live oak tree by the creek that she used to chase squirrels into. She died of old age)
…and honestly how can you be scared of dogs after something like THAT??
#The fact that she regularly fought coyotes and won but was TERRIFIED of my grandmother’s grouchy old housecat also helped lmao#i loved that dog so much#even fifteen years later my granddad would point at her and say ‘see that dog? She saved my granddaughter’s life’#went from being terrified of all dogs to being a little wary of most dogs but RIDE 👏 OR 👏 DIE BFFs with one#shut up e#It’s probably a little dramatic to say she saved my life but you never know - we were hours from the nearest hospital#and rattlesnake bites had recently killed several children of a similar age in the area
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it’s frankly amazing and dumbfounding how little my family actually knows about me and how little they care to remedy that
#⟡°⋄ ◜ ooc . ◞#vent tw.#to be both an only child and an only grandchild and feel like a stranger in your own home is so daunting#i’m almost 30 and i have never had the chance to live my life authentically#or express myself openly or even at all at times#to have to rely on these people emotionally and financially who can’t even grasp the foundational aspects of my personhood#on a political scale on a gender or sexuality scale…#they will never understand me and they don’t want to and some days it’s really hard to love them and it hurts that they’re all i have#anyways i just screamed my throat raw after a completely uncalled for phone call from my grandmother#i don’t think i’m gonna be reachable for a day or two…#i’m really not doing well
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another headcanon, so i read that fic about harry giving ginny his mother's necklace and it was just so sweet....
so in my head ginny is not that big for jewels and accessories, like she obviously loves girly things but she also grew up poor so she probably knew that jewellry is a luxury indulgence that is not something she'd have the luck to have. So she never really bothered with any of them
but then she saw how harry cried when he went through his family's vault and saw lily and euphemia's jewelry box and how harry was so touched knowing that he had family heirlooms passed down from the women in his family
and like he shyly gave ginny his mother's necklace and proposed to her with his grandmother's ring and when they got married harry gave her the jewelry box and told her that he hoped they would grow old together and that he could watch her pass down these heirlooms to their daughter and daughter in laws if they have any
and since then you'd never see ginny potter out and about without bracelets, earrings and necklaces.
ginny even lent victoire the potter tiara when she married teddy
#i just love family heirlooms#i remember my grandmother had this necklace#she got it from her great gran#and it was so precious that when my grandma struggled with money#she refused to sell it#mind you she had DEBTS#not that big but it was big for someone with her economy condition#still she refused to sell the necklace#told me that an heirloom is so precious that no amount of money could outbid its worth#bc heirlooms carry stories#and it is also a hope for the future#“i kept it with me because i have hope that i would have a daughter to give it to her and that shed have a daughter on her on to pass it on#hinny#harry potter headcanon#hinny head canon#ginny weasley#harry potter
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Hayat (twc) // Chance cir. high school (fc5) // Azatae (bg3/dnd) Alma (ffxvi) // Clídna cir. post time skip (ffxvi) // Siberite (ffxiv)
Tagged by @shellibisshe and @statichvm to do this nice little picrew and well I just had to! Especially had to make high school Chance because god I love his emo phase so much.....
Tagging: @florbelles @adelaidedrubman @unholymilf @belorage @strafethesesinners
@confidentandgood @shallow-gravy @chyrstis @jackiesarch @inafieldofdaisies and anyone else that wants to!
#have the kids! I think they're cuties and I love them#rip sib they didn't have horns worthy of you but they are always there in my heart!#also yes more than likely Hiya stole that desert from his grandmother's house. yes she will call him and ask and he will lie badly#also shhhh we keep the fact that alma looks a lot like cat to ourselves and I didn't see it until this picrew#chance ruicknar oc#hayat khademi oc#azatae oc#alma ffxvi oc#clidna ffxvi oc#siberite akagane oc#picrew#tag games
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studying all day today <33 no human interaction needed it's just me and my books
#and my glossy lip balm and emotional support water bottle#and a snack made w love from my lovely grandmother#p
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Ever the gentleman
#the old guard#kaysanova#joenicky#tog#immortal husbands#tog art#yusuf al kaysani#nicolò di genova#yusufnicolo#digital art#fanart#photoshop#accessible fanart#i have SUCH a fun time drawing wrinkles and ageing them up like i cannot tell yo#this made me think of my grandfather so much i miss him everyday and the way he would talk about my grandmother with glittering eyes#old people in love just make me emotional excuse me#reference from ''out in america'' the link to the post no longer works so i couldn't put it in#and tumblr doesn't like it when we link stuff from other sites
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