#from murry

[tblsomedoodles]

an abridged summary of how i ended up with two bitty guinea pigs

(the long version is several days long, and involved an entire emotional rollercoaster that no one wants to hear. long story short, i got the pigs and they are perfect in every way)

anyways! they're named Murry and Perry (Left to right in first doodle lol) (i haven't wanted to pester them very much while they're adjusting so i don't have any good pictures otherwise i'd share b/c i don't think i did them justice. they are very spikey and their colors are a lot more mixed, especially Perry's.) and i love them so damn much and i haven't even had them half a day yet.

[twicethetrouble]

Perry learned a new trick this evening! and he's very proud of himself for it. : )

(Murry was confused, but he figured out how too about an hour later lol.)

[thatlittledandere]

Man I dreamt I was Mickey Mouse trying to deliver Minnie something she forgot home while leaving for a friend's party, but when I got to the event venue it turned out to be this HUGE multi-storied building, like, the floor area was probably measured in kilometers, and it functioned as basically an authoritarian micronation with a strict, color-based social caste system. The most common way to identify someone's current standing was by wristbands or watches; upon entering I was given a white one, the lowest of them all and the only one permitted to visitors.

I had never even heard of this THING before and tried my hardest to piece together the laws and rules from the fragments of context clues I got from trying to talk to people, all the while also trying to hide the fact that I wasn't one of them (my initial entering caused quite a stir and I got the idea that turning up uninvited was frowned upon, to put it lightly.) For example I quickly learned that, while the biggest in numbers, white was technically below the ranking altogether, and its holders didn't enjoy the same rights as even the lowest of the castes. Whites were like interns to the society; they had to prove their piety to and knowledge of the customs before being fully admitted as citizens.

Minnie had left house carrying a purple hood so I assumed that to be her color, but when she eventually found me, it turned out to be fuchsia instead. And fuchsia was one of the higher castes, if not the highest. She told everyone in the room I was with her, and we started making our way to more private quarters somewhere in the upper floors. The floorplan was ridiculously convoluted; we passed SO many staircases, hallways, elevators, doors, and escalators. Minnie tried to catch me up to speed with what it was all about; turns out the community had been there functioning for over ten years, unknown to the outside world, most of its inhabitants living there full time in its many living quarters. The ones like Minnie who had a life in the outside too lived a double life, keeping the house a secret. The community was almost religious in how its residents treated it; it was basically a theocracy. I kept asking Minnie to please list the ranking order of the colors, as everything seemed to revolve around which caste you were, but she always had something that in her mind was more important to teach

Then we got separated. We had been moving in pairs in a group of about ten to be less conspicuous, and I couldn't see Minnie all the time with all the apparent hurry we were in. So when some of the people in the group started stuffing themselves into an elevator, I wasn't facing Minnie but figured that's where we were going. That was not where we were going. She didn't enter the elevator, having also lost sight of me. But the elevator took us back to the lobby we started from, so I started following our pervious footsteps to the best of my memory. Every time someone stopped or acknowledged me I told them I was a fuchsia's servant and had been summoned by her and had to get to the upper floors posthaste. I had no idea if higher ranks having personal servants in the lower ones was a thing, but people did let me through.

We also stopped being Mickie and Minnie Mouse at some point. You know how dreams go.

I found out the wristbands weren't the only way to express one's color; anything that stood out enough to serve the function was a go. At some point I stepped into an elevator only to come face-to-face with my brother, from real life, who was indigo, and it was apparent from the accents in his otherwise black outfit. I was happy to see a familiar face, even though I knew he was NOT thrilled to see me lol, and would absolutely not help me on my quest. He would much prefer not to be associated with an outsider. And as Minnie, who was no longer Minnie but just a nondescript friend I was looking for, hadn't explained the caste order to me, I didn't know where dark blue stood. But from the way he carried himself and how the other guy in the elevator reacted to him, I deduced it must have been closer to top than bottom, at least.

Another thing was that these color assignments CHANGED. They were frequently reshuffled, and you had to figure out a way to quickly switch to displaying your new color, and adjust to your new social standing in your behavior and relationships. When I finally found my friend, she had switched to green by quickly dying her hair with spray dye. As she was now one of the lower classes, she conducted herself with a certain shyness and shame, posture hunched and eyes withdrawn.

She showed me to a lounge for people of various lower castes, where I found another nondescript friend who is not a real person that I know, and two who are and who I've known since childhood but haven't been in touch with in YEARS. Talk about a happy reunion! We got to talking, some about this place and its culture, some just regular chitchat.

And that's when I brought Homestuck into it by mentioning there's a webcomic I read that also has a color-based caste system. One of my childhood friends was delighted to hear there was something else with a similar system. I used a word for the system that I don't think really exists; the other childhood friend thought it was too long and difficult to pronounce. So I suggested "How about hemospectrum instead? That one is shorter and easier to say." I note that the Finnish word would be hemospektri, which is shorter by one letter! Yahoo! My friend was pleased. I woke up happy to no longer be stuck in Hotel California for discount homestucks.

[petaltexturedskies]

Katherine Mansfield, from a letter to J. M. Murry written c. October 1922

[mournfulroses]

John Murry, from a letter to Katherine Mansfield featured in The Letters of John Middleton Murry and Katherine Mansfield

[akajustmerry]

Just out of curiosity - I read your post about how the “Australian” government abducted aboriginal children and assimilated them as part of the genocide against the native people, and it has me wondering, what is the land of Australia actually called? Since Australia is the name given by settlers, what do the aboriginal people actually call their home?

this is very easily googleable and I really encourage you to do your own research but I'm feeling generous. there is no one name for the land because Aboriginal peoples had (and still very much do have) our own nations that make up this land.

There are over 300 Indigenous nations on this continent. Each with its own language, laws, and cultural protocol. Some nations close in proximity share certain cultural protocols and language. Certain regions have names like "Koori" is most of the region also known as NSW and "Murri" is similar to the region known as Queensland. My people are Koori.

What is widely known as the Australian continent is large. First Nations peoples from Palawa, for example, rarely if ever interacted with Noongar peoples until after colonisation. Because of the size (only slightly smaller than the US) and differences in language, it's unlikely Aboriginal peoples had an agreed-upon name for the entire land. But it's also worth noting that if we did have a name for it, that name has probably been lost due to violent colonial efforts to strip us of our language and history. You'll hear people say "so-called Australia" as a way to acknowledge all this.

[conflictofthemind]

Wow, so the Duffers are really really going all in for the Wrinkle in Time inspiration for Season 5

I made a few posts about two months ago that are good supplemental reading material about how 'being different' in itself is a reference to a Wrinkle in Time, and how Escape from Camazotz is not about Eddie but another reference to the novel that symbolizes forced conformity.

We have (hopefully) photos coming later today of Mike, Holly, and Will riding on bicycles. Now this is so so interesting because the writers have already confirmed a Wrinkle in Time will be an inspiration for the season multiple times. Not to mention that it has already been written into the show since Season 1:

The 'A Wrinkle in Time' plot goes as follows: "Combining theology, fantasy, and science, it is the story of travel through space and time to battle a cosmic evil. With their neighbour Calvin O’Keefe, young Meg Murry and her brother Charles Wallace embark on a cosmic journey to find their lost father, a scientist studying time travel. Assisted by three eccentric women—Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which—the children travel to the planet Camazotz, where they encounter a repressed society controlled by IT, a disembodied brain that represents evil. Among the themes of the work are the dangers of unthinking conformity and scientific irresponsibility and the saving power of love." - Encyclopedia Britannica.

At a point in their journey, Charles Wallace becomes willingly hypnotized by The Man with the Red Eyes (a vessel for the IT). He tries to put up a fight but eventually succumbs to the hypnotism and is also kidnapped onto the planet / realm Camazotz.

Meg and Charles are siblings. Calvin is a boy from school who befriends Meg and then becomes her love interest. In the original movie adaptation, and at the beginning of the 2018 adaptation, he sports a distinctive green and beige varsity jacket layered with a red and orange plaid shirt.

I've talked about the themes in the novel in those two posts about, but I'll briefly emphasize that the main theme is nonconformity and how being different is good. Calvin and Meg in particular bond over their shared experience of 'being different', and Calvin is finally able to *cough* come out of the closet and start 'being different' openly.

And there is no world in which is this not intentional. :)

[mysterieuxclairdelune]

{Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath/ Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, The Nest/ Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life/ Susan Sontag/ Liv Ullmann, from Changing (Knopf, 1976)/ Katherine Mansfield, in a letter to J.M. Murry, dated December 14, 1919, Letters and Journals of Katherine Mansfield (Penguin Classics, 1977)/ Anne Sexton,A Self-Portrait in Letters/ Anne Sexton,A Self-Portrait in Letters/ Richard Siken/ Papi/ Anais Nin/ Ghada Al-Samman/ Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings}

[tinydefector]

Marine Centre 5 - Merformers AU

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: information over the Oceanides.

Prev

Next

_________________

Information For readers over names for the Bots 

Optimus - Big Blue 

Megatron - The Meg

Bumblebee - Babybee/ beebee

Starscream - Screech

Sideswipe - Cherry

Sunstreaker- Shimmer

Shockwave - Reaper

Jazz - Slip

Ironhide - Buffy

Ratchet - Nemo

Soundwave - Echo 

Windblade - Ladybird

Prowl- Scar

Beachcomber - Murri

Rodimus - Firefin

Smokescreen - Slim Dusty

Bluestreak - Angelfish 

Mirage - Magic

Drift - Siren

Pharma - Snapper

Chromedome - Phantom

Rewind - Dinky

Whirl - Titanic 

Swindle - Dio

Vortex - Spade 

Onslaught - Korn

Brawl - Badma

Blast Off - Diamite 

Kup - Sarge

Rung - Shrimp

The parings of who is the parents of who for some of the younger members 

Rodimus - Optimus & Ratchet 

Bluestreak - Prowl & Jazz 

Sunstreaker & Sideswipe - Ironhide & Jazz

Smokescreen - Prowl & Optimus 

Mirage - Beachcomber & Optimus 

Bumblebee - Optimus & unknown

Cassettes - Soundwave & Shockwave & Blaster 

Tarn - Megatron & Soundwave 

Sunstorm - Starscream & Sunstreaker 

Cassettes - Blaster & Tracks & Soundwave 

Novastorm - Skywarp & Megatron 

______________________________________________________________________

PHYSICAL EXAM / TREATMENT RECORD: The Meg

Species: Oceanides. Sex: Hermaphrodite/ Pod Bull

Age: 50+yrs

Recent illness/injury: lacerations to head and stomach/ bite wounds to arm. Injuries received from altercations with Big blue ( The Meg was the Aggressor), believed to be due to feeding. Wounds still have not headled due to scratching.

Behaviour: Temperamental, calmer  

PHYSICAL EXAM Examined by: [Redacted] 

time:6:20am

Date: 2/07/XXXX

Wt 269.52 Kg. Temp 24.8°c

GA: 

Dark grey, light grey with red markings, fins and gills are red . Larger than any of the Oceanides in the centre. Eyes: red

INTEG: covered in many scars from territory fighting, feeding, and mating.

External Parasites: none

RAVS Animal Condition Score: good

Reason for RAC Score assigned: the Meg has healed rather well from his wounds due to medication in his food. 

Addtl Comments: The Meg is ready to be let back out to the pods, request that he be supervised as to not gain more injuries. 

________________________________________________________________ 

PHYSICAL EXAM / TREATMENT RECORD: Cherry

Species: Oceanides. Sex: Hermaphrodite

Age: 30+yrs 

Recent illness/injury: scale Rot on running up tail and fins

Behaviour: hyper, Social.

PHYSICAL EXAM Examined by: Xxxx

time:7:34am 

Date: 2/07/XXXX

Wt 421.32 Kg. Temp 24.2°c

GA:

Red, black and Grey Oceanide. Eyes: blue 

INTEG: scales have been showing success with the new treatment 

RAVS Animal Condition Score: good

Reason for RAC Score assigned: to be released from Pool 2. 

Addtl Comments from (Doctor Bayley Quin: Cherry seems to be doing much better now. 

______________________________________________________________________

Requesting documentation on Oceanide pod habits behaviours and families. As of recently many of the Oceanides that frequent the Yawk-Yawk centre have taken a rather intriguing interest in one of the handlers here. 

We want to study it more as we believe the Pods themselves have accepted [Redacted] into the pods as some sort of honorary member due to us having to intervene with a pup. His information will be added to email. 

Babybee/ Beebee is the only surviving Oceanide pup from last season, Big blue is we believe the sire of the pup. But due to unknown reasons the pup had become rather ill and on the brink of death when we received him. Brought in by Big Blue, it's the first truth communication we have had with them. Beebee was placed into medical care under my supervision and handled by [Redacted] as a full time carer. But developments have surfaced amongst the rest of the Oceanides since the pup has been released back to the pods, many of them have taken quite an interest in [Redacted], singing to them and following them around. 

Our most recent trip out to the reef for samples resulted in one of the Oceanides quite literally dragging [Redacted] out of the Ocean and dropping them back on the boat. It left many of us stunned, but to follow that up said Oceanide. I believe [Angelfish] came back afterwards with a small collection of seashells, coral and rocks. I'm mainly requesting the information for [Redacted] to read through and have some more understanding. 

-Dr Bayley Quin Yawk-Yawk Marine

____________________________________________________________________

 Dr Quin, Myself and many others at California Oceanide Research are rather fascinated with this news. We ask that you keep us updated on these pods that have made themselves at home at your centre. As we only have 2 pods that we have currently tagged and have been studying their migration patterns. Any information you can share with us would be greatly appreciated, but to follow up your request I'll attach all the known information we have over the Oceanides Habits, mating, pods and society. 

Please keep us updated on this Pup and the caretaker as this is the first time we have ever heard of such a thing. 

- Dr Christian Bale, California OR. 

Attached documents 

Oceanides: New Insights 

Pups:

Reach full size at age: 3 years, though continue learning from elders and Parental for several years more

Nursed and cared for solely by mother for the first 2 years can change depending on the circumstances. [Added information. As you have stated Bee was put into [Redacted]’s care and most likely sees them as their mother that could be the reason the pod has taken to them, due to human intervention the pup survived and as such the pod treats them as a member of their family] 

Oceanides form strong, lifelong bonds with pod members during early developmental period, even if they do split off from their pod they always know their siblings and parents 

Pups observed closely mimicking behaviours of adult pod-mates from 2-4 years to develop skills, will follow very closely with their parents.   

Grooming and touching behaviours help strengthen social bonds between pups and all pod members

Pups remain within natal pod's protected waters until they reach three years of age, learning skills/culture from elders. Strong social bonds and inter-pod cooperation aids collective survival.

Inter-Pod Relations:  

Pods comprise variably sized familial units, often 6-15 individuals. Members can consist of a mix of pod members varying from parents and pups to strangers, Oceanides also very consistently move from pods. Such as an adolescent spawn of other members will leave their pod to join another. 

Regular, peaceful interactions observed between adjacent pods some will even form into a mega pod [as you have described the pods at Yawk-Yawk.]

Pods often approach and observe one another’s activities from a distance with no aggression, and over time will become social with each other.  

Exchanging soft vocalisations, nudges, and caresses help reinforce cooperative relations between each other. 

Like humans some Oceanides just don't like each other, Don't Force interactions between them. Oceanides will hold grudges. 

Younger pod members especially engaged in play behaviours to develop hunting/defence skills, socialise and bond with other members.  

Gifting of small items, shells, pebbles, sea glass, food etc. appears a gesture of courting, friendship and trust between pods. It varies depending on the member as some will gift items for many reasons.  

Benefits of allied pods include access to larger ranges, combined protections, and potential for interbreeding to support genetic diversity. 

Multi-pod alliances appear to form for protection during migrations or when young are present

Territory & Resources:

Each pod maintains boundaries of its own hunting/feeding grounds through regular patrols. Some will converge if said pods decide to merge together 

Boundaries appear flexible based on prey availability and pod size, Pods observed sharing access to migrating prey or allowing transient members to pass without conflict, when pups are within pods others will come to aid If one pod is in need of assistance.

 Resources like tidal feeding pools, kelp forests and shipping lanes consciously avoided to minimise human contact 

Communication:  

Complex communication between the species varies from echolocation, visual/tactile cues similar to sign language. Whistles/clicks, hisses, snarls rumbles. The best description is that they communicate similarly to whales, Dolphins and also humans. It's a strange thought to see such intelligence in marine life but it makes sense why there are so many myths and legends over Merfolk when Oceanides fit that description. 

Whistles/echolocation used for coordinating hunts, alerting of intruders, and social bonding

 Distress calls signify need for aid; all pod members converge quickly on young or injured

Certain melodic patterns distinguish individuals, while locations and pod identifiers changing over time  

Calls from affiliated pods elicited faster response than strangers, demonstrating recognition 

Variations in Whistles:

Pitch and melody identify, age, social rank and individual pod-mates

Changes made over time suggest an evolving dialect within communities

Distress whistles cut across dialects, eliciting a universal response from all oceanides 

Echolocation:

Clicks map surroundings, locate prey and pod-mates even in zero visibility  

Call patterns and frequencies differentiate objects, threats and each other   

 Echolocating pups heard learning adult mapping techniques through mimicry

Tactile Communication:

Nudges, embraces and petting convey bonding, reassurance and request behaviours

Bites remain very rare even in play-fighting, finessed to avoid breaking skin. Biting is mainly used in mating. 

Gentle herding of young with fins or nudges of nose guide without aggression

Visual Cues:

 Postures, gestures and flank markings manipulated for clear messages  

Fins, frills, gills and tail positioned express interest, dominance, submission or anger depending on position, mainly used when conveying a very clear message. [We work off these displays as they are much more visual for us to understand] 

The sophistication of this system is breathtaking. You would think such skilled communicators would easily outmanoeuvre threats, yet humans have too often posed dangers all the same. But they are such beautiful and strange creatures.

Through long-term census data and pod identification methods, we are gaining a fuller picture of local oceanide communities along with equating them with Trackers as we do Sharks:

Numbers & Distribution:

An estimated merged pod can have up to 35-40 inhabit the coastline reserve boundaries 

Average pod size is 7-15 individuals, though numbers fluctuate seasonally

Largest pods reside in more sheltered coastal areas with abundant food sources

Smallest numbers use outer reefs and current-heavy zones that limit prey accessibility

Kinship Networks:  

Multi-generational lineages traced back over a century within dominant pods

Extended families compromise over 30% of some pods, with 3-4 generations present in pods our oldest known Oceanides marked are. Sarge and Shrimp. 

Grandparents and older siblings play key roles in pup-rearing and teaching skills, it's the reason so many pods converge during mating season. It gives the young the opportunity to meet their other family members and learn. 

Reproduction:  

Birthing peaks in late spring/early summer when nutrients are highest within the ocean 

 Litter sizes average 2 pups but can vary, As of recently the number in offspring have began declining dramatically. 

Pod alliances and extended groups help care for newest generations  

Sexual maturity reached at 7-10 yrs. Mating occurs yearly during seasonal estrus. Due to the Oceanides being a Hermaphrodite species they can all carry but only a select few will. Oceanides give live birth to 1-2 pups, bearing full parenting responsibilities for the first 3 years as the pups grow and learn amongst their pods. 

Oceanides are like humans when it comes to relationships, some are monogamous keeping with only one mate while others have multiple, we believe that they understand the need for breeding diversity. 

Migration Patterns:  

Winter months see some pods join seasonal Southern movements for warmer waters    

Elders or bulls especially guide these migrations, ensuring safety of pups and injured members

It's been noticed that many oceanides take to the Waters of Australia due to how hot the climate tends to be yearly. 

Problem-Solving:  

Tool use observed, such as twisting kelp to trap prey or navigating obstacles  

Innovative foraging methods invented, then adopted cross-generationally   

Escape tactics and defensive manoeuvres against threats continually refined

Use of rocks and shells as tools, they have started watching the way humans fish on the reefs. 

As I review the latest documentation on oceanide behaviours, something catches my eye regarding interactions between pods. It seems the exchanging of gifts, especially among younger members, may take on additional significance:

Courting & Bonding Displays:

Selecting and presenting small items to another appears to function as courtship behaviour 

Pebbles, shells and coral exchanged suggest interest in forming a bonded pair 

Close observations note gifts given more frequently by sexually mature oceanides to their preferred partners  

Acceptance of such tokens usually elicits affectionate touching as bonding is assessed 

One-on-one play also increases between potential mates as compatibility is tested  

If the pairing proves well-matched, courtship gifts may lead to breeding that season

This level of organisation and care for their own speaks to a deeply attuned social intelligence, as you well know. They are highly intelligent .Overall, their sophisticated societies have clearly evolved for safety, community and preservation of oceanide ways. With ongoing study and habitat protection, I am hopeful we can help them prosper. Let me know if any other areas of research could further our understanding. While more research is needed, observations suggest oceanides thrive within complex societal structures reliant on familial bonds, respect between pods. Non-violent resolutions to disputes, cooperation in caring for the young, all contribute to flourishing populations. Continued protection and monitoring will aid in preserving these remarkable beings and relationships integral to their well-adapted survival. As always, your insights into their behaviours are invaluable, more so over their honorary pod-mate.

______________________________________________________________________

 a snarl leaves Bluestreak as he is hauled before the gathering by a livid Prowl, the young mer thrashes against his captor's unyielding grip. "Let me go! I did nothing wrong, I was only-"

Prowl snarls, denta bared. "Offering courting gifts to an OUTSIDER? Have you lost all sense, pup!" Prowl was furious at his offspring, he knew Bluestreak was a dreamer who took after Jazz but this was beyond stupid for him. 

Bluestreak's fins flares defiantly. "IWwas trying to say sorry for disturbing their hun-,"

But Prowl cuts him off with a vicious Snarl as he frills up. "Enough! I'll not have any of my kin besmirch our ways with such deviance and fraternisation with Softskins!" 

"Prowl, stand down!" Optimus rumbles, shooting Bluestreak a warning look. "We are all on edge as seasons turn and choices narrow...but violence will avail nothing." He rumbled moving closer to the puffed up white and black mer. 

The other youngsters watch on, shooting each other's looks. Bluestreak sulks but meets his calm gaze stubbornly. "It was only a token of gratitude, nothing more," he insists with a low growl. His own fins flat against his frame

"The big fry-brain snatched me before I could thank them properly for disbanding the Firefish!" Bluestreak shoots Prowl a harsh glare before facing Optimus again. "You said to yourself we'd see if an outsider would bond with us. Was I not to start as any other would?"

Prowl scoffs derisively. "A Softskin? Don't be so foolish! Our ways are not theirs, nor their strange rituals and dalliances are our concern! Had it been any other i would let you make a fool of yourself But they are Bumblebees Carer Bluestreak, if anyone has claim over them it would be Optimus" 

It makes the others stiffen hearing that Prowl wasn't against the idea but was against Bluestreak chasing after the one caring for Bumblebee. As one would be if it were one of the Pod caring for a pup. 

“ Prow! Enough, do not bicker like hatchlings, I understand that everyone is on edge but No one has any claim on the Softones." It was the first time Optimus had really raised his voice over the subject. “finally growing a Dorsal Prime” Megatron's voice echoes as he moves to watch. Optimus ignores him but the silence could cut through the water. 

“Megatron a word” he finally states shooting the large grey oceanide a look. Megatron grumbles but pushes himself up to swim beside the Prime. 

Several bold youths cluster around their peer like darting tinfish, curiosity piqued by the tense exchange. " Blue are you crazy! Trying to get yourself in trouble!" prods Smokescreen, finned tail flickering. Mirage nudges in slyly. "I saw the trinket you left - a pretty parcel wrapped in seaweed. Someone's got their optics set on the fleshie!"

Nearby, Sunstreaker huffs dismissively. "Who cares about some fleshy?." But his field belies keen interest despite feigned disdain. “Sunny!” A voice calls out which has him spinning around in shock to see Sideswipe who he pulls into a hug. “Sides!” He calls while checking his twin with instant claws. 

“Your back, did they hurt you?Are you alright?” He begins shooting questions at Sideswipe who just smiles. “ I'm great, glad they let you come see me while I was healing, but look!, no more rotting scales!” he exclaims while swimming around the others eagerly. “But what's this about Bluey And the softies?!” 

Bluestreak squirms before the bombardment of questions, In truth Bluestreak liked how they were, brave and took out firefish, fearless of sharks, Was kind and sweet with Bumblebee and they played with him and when he called out to them despite the language barrier. 

"Frags, I don't even know how to describe it," Bluestreak mutters, flustered by the barrage of questions. "They just seem...different from us, but not in a bad way." 

He gestures vaguely. "They fearlessly hunt those venom fish on the reef and even play with the Sharks as we do. Their care for that little pup as one of us." He swishes his tail irritably. "I'm tired of being called deviant just because I see them as one of us. The elders are stuck viewing them as aliens, but I see a potential pod." 

Intrigue glimmers in sly Skywarp's optic as the brazen plan forms. "If the elders want to cling to old ways, fine," he smirks. "But who says we have to follow their rules, huh?"

Smokescreen flashes a toothy grin. "It wouldn't take much to slip past their watch. We're not sparklings anymore - and I'll wager the softskins aren't so keen on being told who they can or can't bond with." As ever willful, Sunstreaker merely shrugs. "Do as you like. But I'll not be frolicking with soft meat." His gruff words. 

"What if we break free and establish our own pod," Sideswipe hums thoughtfully, earning him a baffled look from Sunstreaker. Rodimus' perks up in glee. "At last, others see the logic in my proposal!." His exclaimes. 

The beach is quiet this late at night, the rolling sound of the waves crashing, the scent of the salt in the air, it brings a sort of nostalgia of sitting on the beach eating fish and chips. The sand and water feels great on their feet as they walk. The twilight breezes soothe yet stir fresh turbulence within them. The days were strange, July was always an interesting season on the coast, some days were cold like it was meant to be for winter, other days it felt like it was a blaring December Summer. 

Then from the dark sparkling deeps rings out a high pitched cry. familiar and tiny. Bee's chirps carry clearly, their head snapping towards the water, "Baby! What are you doing out here!" They gasp, running into the water as the pup swims quickly towards them. 

They lean down and scooping the oceanide pup up Into their arms. "Where is your papa?" They ask worried, looking out across the water and waves for big blue. Bumblebee chirrups happily, tiny claws grasping tight to their damp clothes. He trills contentment at being held by them.

But at their query, the little one tilts his head curiously. "Pa...pa?" he tries to repeat, struggling with the syllables. Bee whirrs and whistles, tiny limbs gesturing eagerly out at the moon-dappled bay. Their eyes nearly bulge as they hear the little pup mimic their word. "Did you...holy shit, holy shit" they start, baffled and stunned. " Say Papa again baby" they whisper.

Bumblebee chirrs inquisitively at them wide little eyes looking up as he flashes them a toothy smile, "P...pah-pah?"  stretching his vocalizer's limits as he attempts to mirror their words. It rolls clumsily from his vocabulators, yet resonates with curious joy. 

Brightening as he earns another reaction, Bee burbles enthusiastically, "Papa! Papa papa!" Tiny claws grip even tighter, tiny frame wriggling with the delight of discovery of the words. 

They stand there with Bee stunned as he babbles and Coos at them. "Omg, omg Baby, you're talking, look at you baby" they gush only to realise. This pup had just spoken a human word instead of the little melodies the oceanides did. "Where's your papa?" They ask softly. As if on cue A deep worried call comes from the ocean as Big Blue calls to him.

A reverberant call rings out across the waves then, sending rippling fathoms-deep - and Bee clicks knowingly at the sound calling out in his little melody. "Papa!" he chirrups, twisting in the human's hold to gesture eagerly out at the bay. 

An answering thrill sounds, approaching swiftly through the surf. Big blue emerges, massive frame slowly surfaces near them. Bumblebee chatters rapidly.

 

Optimus' coos softly and settles when he sees them holding his pup. “hey there big blue” they call softly while trying to hand off bee back to his Sire. When He reaches to accept the pup however, Bee cries out in distress, eliciting a frown of confusion from his sire who rumbles softly at him. 

They coos reassurance at the little pup, “come on baby you need to go to your papa” they hum while gently rocking him. 

Optimus emits a low, questioning rumble. This defied all tradition - yet how could he ignore tradition and destroy his pup's joy? He adored them and after everything this Soft skin was like a carrier to Bee. 

His eyes meet them, watching how they smile and coo at Bumblebee. but for his pup's happiness he would do anything, bumblebee deserved it after everything,  and he wouldn't take that away from him. 

A gasp leaves them as Optimus' webbed hand moves to touch their skin, a soft rumbling and thrilling leaves him as he as his claw traces their cheek. "You're so strange, yet my Bee seems bound to you." His voice is so soft as he looks at them. 

"Never have I known a spark to form so fast between my kind and others. Yet when I called, he chirped for you, not me." Optimus shakes his helm slowly. "By our way, this should not be. But how can I rend him from joy, when you soothes his tiny soul?"

That's how the three end up sitting together in the shallows watching the waves and the stars. Optimus particularly curled around the human who has Bumblebee held in their arms as the pup babbles and Coos at them attempting more of their strange language trying to mimic more of their words. 

Optimus rumbles softly as they recline, watching the water dance under the moon and stars. His large frame curls protectively around the human and Bee held lovingly within. 

The pup burbles and chatters endlessly in his attempts to mirror their syllables. "P..a...p….a? B…uh-bu….h?" he coos up at the human, tiny facep scrunching with effort. 

Optimus tilts his helm, regarding the scene with curiosity and quiet warmth. "Determined little spark, trying so hard." A sigh leaves him as he relaxes enjoying the peacefulness of laying there. "Carrier” Bumblebee coos softly to Optimus. As his little eyes meet the larger mer.  

_______________________

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[kyoukamybeloved]

Even Dazai had forgotten to breathe as he watched the storm that was Chuuya decimate the battlefield.

part 2

A place called no homeland - Kai Cheng Thom// art by @liyv// the lover as a cult - Olivia Gatwood// I love you so - the Walters// consequences - lovejoy// the American water museum - Natalie Diaz// art by @pleucas// your sister was right - wilbur// life prayer - Lou Salomé// prologue - Anna Akhmatova// art by @greendy2l// house song - searows// letter to Liv Ullmann - Ingmar Bergman// art by @siredcrab// unknown// art by @liyv// 2 truths and a lie - Angelea Lowes// art by @joonsbubu// English song - Fernando Pessoa// staking a claim - Erika Meitner// never love an anchor - the crane wives// art by @pleucas// two slow dancers - mitski// Elke river// art by @zaerxa// normal people - sally rooney// art by @zaerxaa// Sweeney - Anne Sexton// @/1110yu_ku_si on twitter// written on the body - Jeanette Winterson// art by @lotus-pear// normal people - sally rooney// art by @lotus-pear// bite the hand - boygenius// the 1 - Taylor Swift// letter to J.M. Murry from Katherine Mansfield// art by @evelyn-art-05

[adventuresofalgy]

As he flew around his assistants' garden. Algy realised that he was exceedingly tired. His Hogmanay Hootenanny had been one of the most wonderful parties he had ever held, but it had certainly drained much of his energy, and he felt that he needed a good wee rest before embarking on any new adventures.

The weather birds had been wrong again, and instead of staying dry for a change, it had rained all night. Not that Algy was surprised… It usually rained in the wild west Highlands of Scotland, after all, but it meant that everything was soggy, drenched and uninviting, especially as the temperatures was only a wee bit above freezing. It was hardly conducive to a restorative rest…

Algy hopped about here, there and everywhere, looking in vain for a cosy couch suited to a weary fluffy bird, until eventually he spotted a small clump of bright green cypress in a dark corner.

This seemed to offer a perfect bed, and when Algy lay back on the gentle, springy branches with their soft, fragrant needles, he felt a sense of deep contentment, for they were not even particularly wet. Here was a perfect place for repose!

Hail, sweet Contentment, calm Repose! The balm of comfort shed, Oh! let me not complain of woes, By thy kind guidance led! To thee Compassion is allied, Revengeful hope unknown; As thou a stranger art to Pride, From thee is Discord flown. Tho' plain and humble be my lot, Yet grant me strength of mind; So shall I find, tho' in a Cot, Pleasures the most refin'd. With pity shall behold the great, While no rude cares molest; Nor fond desire for useless state, Disturb my tranquil breast. In silent glen, in hollow cave, And Hermit's lonely cell, Where winding streams delight to lave, Reflection deigns to dwell. Far from the bustling scenes of Life, I wish in peace to rest; Remov'd from vanity and strife, In calm retirement blest. To me in gorgon terrors clad, Appear the rash and bold; The vain, the wealthy, and the bad, Who thirst for nought but gold. With horror such delights behold, As deck the festive scene; Tho' young, am prematurely old, Collected, grave, serene. To thee, Contentment, thus I bend, With meek and humble heart; In pity to my pray'r attend, And lend thy soothing art!

[Algy is thinking of the poem Ode to Contentment by the English 18th/early 19th century children's educational writer and poet Ann Murry.]

[book--brackets]

The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien (1937)

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. Written for J.R.R. Tolkien’s own children, The Hobbit met with instant critical acclaim when it was first published in 1937. Now recognized as a timeless classic, this introduction to the hobbit Bilbo Baggins, the wizard Gandalf, Gollum, and the spectacular world of Middle-earth recounts of the adventures of a reluctant hero, a powerful and dangerous ring, and the cruel dragon Smaug the Magnificent.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan (2005-2009)

Percy Jackson is a good kid, but he can't seem to focus on his schoolwork or control his temper. And lately, being away at boarding school is only getting worse - Percy could have sworn his pre-algebra teacher turned into a monster and tried to kill him. When Percy's mom finds out, she knows it's time that he knew the truth about where he came from, and that he go to the one place he'll be safe. 

She sends Percy to Camp Half Blood, a summer camp for demigods (on Long Island), where he learns that the father he never knew is Poseidon, God of the Sea. Soon a mystery unfolds and together with his friends—one a satyr and the other the demigod daughter of Athena - Percy sets out on a quest across the United States to reach the gates of the Underworld (located in a recording studio in Hollywood) and prevent a catastrophic war between the gods.

The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien (1954-1955)

In a sleepy village in the Shire, a young hobbit is entrusted with an immense task. He must make a perilous journey across Middle-earth to the Cracks of Doom, there to destroy the Ruling Ring of Power - the only thing that prevents the Dark Lord's evil dominion.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis (1950-1956)

Four adventurous siblings—Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie— step through a wardrobe door and into the land of Narnia, a land frozen in eternal winter and enslaved by the power of the White Witch. But when almost all hope is lost, the return of the Great Lion, Aslan, signals a great change . . . and a great sacrifice.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1943)

The Little Prince is a classic tale of equal appeal to children and adults. On one level it is the story of an airman's discovery, in the desert, of a small boy from another planet - the Little Prince of the title - and his stories of intergalactic travel, while on the other hand it is a thought-provoking allegory of the human condition.

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini (2002-2011, 2023)

When fifteen-year-old Eragon finds a polished blue stone in the forest, he thinks it is the lucky discovery of a poor farm boy. But when the stone brings a dragon hatchling, Eragon soon realizes he has stumbled upon a legacy nearly as old as the Empire itself. 

Overnight his simple life is shattered, and, gifted with only an ancient sword, a loyal dragon, and sage advice from an old storyteller, Eragon is soon swept into a dangerous tapestry of magic, glory, and power. Now his choices could save--or destroy--the Empire.

Time Quintet by Madeleine L'Engle (1962-1989)

It was a dark and stormy night; Meg Murry, her small brother Charles Wallace, and her mother had come down to the kitchen for a midnight snack when they were upset by the arrival of a most disturbing stranger. 

Wild nights are my glory, the unearthly stranger told them. I just got caught in a downdraft and blown off course. Let me sit down for a moment, and then I'll be on my way. Speaking of ways, by the way, there is such a thing as a tesseract. 

Folk of the Air by Holly Black (2018-2020)

Of course I want to be like them. They're beautiful as blades forged in some divine fire. They will live forever. 

And Cardan is even more beautiful than the rest. I hate him more than all the others. I hate him so much that sometimes when I look at him, I can hardly breathe. 

Jude was seven years old when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. 

To win a place at the Court, she must defy him--and face the consequences. 

In doing so, she becomes embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, discovering her own capacity for bloodshed. But as civil war threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab (2020)

France, 1714: In a moment of desperation, a young woman named Adeline meets a dangerous stranger and makes a terrible mistake. 

As she realizes the limitations of her Faustian bargain-being able to live forever, without being able to be remembered by anyone she sees- Addie chooses to flee her small village, as everything she once held dear is torn away. 

But there are still dreams to be had, and a life to live, and she is determined to find excitement and satisfaction in the wide, beckoning world-even if she will be doomed to be alone forever. 

Or not quite alone-as every year, on her birth-day, the alluring Luc comes to visit, checking to see if she is ready to give up her soul. Their darkly thrilling game stretches through the ages, seeing Addie witness history and fight to regain herself as she crosses oceans and tries on various lives. 

It will be three hundred years before she stumbles into a hidden bookstore and discovers someone who can remember her name-and suddenly, everything changes again. 

Circe by Madeline Miller (2018)

 the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not obviously powerful like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.

Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts, and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur; Daedalus and his doomed son, Icarus; the murderous Medea; and, of course, wily Odysseus.

But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from or the mortals she has come to love.

[txttletale]

i really love clownmuffle's role in chicago. she's the highlight of it for me. sometimes i feel like chicago's group-identity-vs.-individualism theme is a bit too much of a sledgehammer to the head but i think that the way that... all of clownmuffle's solitary lone wolf singularity ultimately ends up being reliant on other people, right, that she needs other people's help to maintaion her absolute indpendence she prides herself on, i think that's a really subtle and clever way that the narrative challenges her ideals. clownmuffle reflects on it herself, how much has she given away to other people in order to ensure that's what left is just for herself?

she survives bythos because of hegewisch and madoka. she gets away and makes it to gatinaeu because of murrie, then she needs gatineau to recover so badly she lets gatinaeu retraumatize her (and then cuts off more parts of herself by dissociating away from that harm). she survives the capitol attack because of hegewish and then, when truly 'free', operates as a pawn of her primarily due to an externally (if accidentally) induced loyalty to joliet. then it's berwyn and darien who make her reflect on her own situation, murrie who saves her life yet again... clownmuffle is in many ways this unstoppable singular force of will that warps the narrative around her, but she's only able to be that because of the foundations laid by the people she exists in community with, no matter how much she denies that or tries to escape that. i think it's a really interesting recurring narrative beat, this kind of big lie at the heart of individualism, and clownmuffle is an entertaining as hell character to watch it play out with too

[petaltexturedskies]

Flowers teach hope and patience. Flowers teach tenderness. Flowers teach futility and amazement. You know me, I am always willing to learn. Besides, it is spring. The beautiful forces of nature refuse to remain silent and I feel like observing everything.

Katherine Mansfield, from a letter to J. M. Murry written c. April 1922

[hellfireloserclub]

Fireside

For @steddiemicrofic Feb

Promt: Edge : words 509. Rating : G

They're on the edge of something, have been for months now.

It started with a bottle to his neck and it's brought them here.

Bonfires burn away in the clearing, the changing of the guards passing from Hopper and Murry to them, with knowing looks from the latter.

That something growing between him and Eddie is as clear as day to anyone who cares to look.

Eddie sits close, the demobats skittering in the distance making them both alert to the ever present threat, the creatures rarely attack. It's not time for that, they stand guard of the rift, they watch. They wait.

Beside him Eddie stroked absentmindedly at his stomach, the scars always hurt when the weather turns. In the warmth and protection of the fire burning to ward off strays. The fire keeps them back, keeps them closer to the rift. There's too many to fight now.

The shadows have faces and all of the faces have teeth, chattering. Waiting.

Nobody walks the woods alone.

The scars run deeper than the surface.

This is when Steve finds Eddie in his space the most. Where the Something between them is the most obvious.

Steve reaches out, stilling the hand that irritates old wounds. Fingers twisting together as his eyes scan the perimeters, the bits the warmth of the fire doesn't reach. Skin warmed metal stills between the knuckles as Eddie squeezes once, twice, three times.

He's okay, he's fine, nothing to fear.

But Steve knows, deep in his bones, that the upside down wants Eddie back. Feels the way the demo creatures follow his scent on the air, chance there luck more often when Eddie is out on patrol.

They want back what Steve took from them.

But they can't have it.

Not now.

A shadow moves, grotesque petal shaped head sniffing at the air, its face turns towards Eddie. They both still as it rears, but it doesn't charge; it just opens its mouth as if tasting the spores that fall gently like decaying snow.

Steve instinctively pulls Eddie behind him, his trusty nail bat ready to swing if he needs to, gas to throw on the fire if that somehow fails.

( it never fails. He's gotten good at hitting them where it hurts and fast ) behind him Eddie's ready with his own lance. They move as one, as they rise from the bench, Eddie pressed as close to Steve as possible.

But the beast doesn't advance, it falls back, back into the shadows, one more curious sniff in the air before it sulks off.

“That's new.” Eddie mutters, eyes darting the lines for the next threat. When nothing moves for a few minutes they relax.

Steve does his checks. Eddie's still here, he's fine. Eddie slumps back into his side and Steve gets a lung full of his own aftershave wafting from Eddie as he finds his hand again.

Eddie smells like him.

Because they're on the edge of Something.

And the upside down doesn't get to have him before Steve finds out what.

[azrielslightintheshadows]

Princess

Azriel x f!Reader

One of the series I’m currently working on. Enjoy!

Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?

Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse, trauma and death, swearing

Masterlist.

Princess Masterlist.

Chapter 10

“Please find me” you whispered and opened your side of the bond.

“Dillon, lord Murry wants to see all of us.” Another Illyrian said as he walked into the cell.

“Lucky bitch” Dillon snorted and followed the others. They locked the door of the cell and left.

He’ll find us. The shadow said and slithered around your wounded hands, the coldness made you sigh.

“I hope so” you whimpered and leaned back, your whole body was shaking by the pain but you didn’t want to seem weak by crying, so you closed your mouth and gritted your teeth.

They didn’t come back until the night and you could feel your wounds getting infected by the dirt of the chains. You sat straight when they walked inside and stared into Dillon’s eyes with a cold expression.

“Aw look at her, did the shadowsinger teach you how to behave in these situations? Are you trying to convince us that you are strong?” he mocked you.

“I am strong.” You growled and felt something icy running through your blood, you knew what it was, it had happened again when you were younger, but your mother placed wards around you and told you to never speak about it again.

“I wasn’t trying to convince you before…” you spat “Now I will”.

And with that you let a scream that trembled the ground, your eyes flashed white, and the temperature dropped. You watched as ice spikes pierced their skin and sent them flying backwards. Both hit their heads on the wall and fell on the ground, blood started pooling around them and the shocked expressions remained on their pale and cold faces.

“What the fuck?” another one gasped when he entered your cell. “That bitch has powers” he yelled and drew his sword. You stared at his feet where darkness started flowing into the cell and the familiar scent of cedar and whiskey filled your nostrils making you smirk at him. The Illyrian moved closer and opened his mouth to threaten you again but instead of his tongue and teeth you were met with the tip of a dagger, drops of blood dropped on your cheek and the Illyrian knelt, his own blood choking him and you watched as the life faded from his eyes. Azriel was standing behind him, Truth-Teller in hand and the promise of death in his eyes. You noticed his shadows darting out of the room and heard screams.

“What did they do to you?” Azriel cried out when he noticed your hands and immediately took the chains off.

“Infected, fever” you mumbled before letting the darkness engulf you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Help me” Azriel screamed as he landed on the balcony of the house of wind. Rhysand already knew you were coming and had winnowed Madja in. Your mate placed you on your bed and Madja immediately started working on you.

“What happened?” Rhys asked.

“Some Illyrian’s had her, they though I was the one burning their camps and they burned her hands to take revenge.” Azriel sobbed and pulled his hair.

“Calm down brother.” Rhys said.

“No! Look what they did… look how they sullied a delicate creature. Look what they did to my princess.” He was panting as he spoke, all the pain he felt when he was a kid came back and his hands started twitching just like they used to.

Rhysand tried to hug him but the shadowsinger flinched and quickly came to your side.

“Please” he told Madja and she nodded.

When Madja finished she gathered her stuff and looked at Rhysand.

“She escaped death, her hands will heal in a few weeks but I’m afraid the scars won’t fade. I will come to check on her tomorrow and I will make her an ointment to help with the healing.” She informed him and he nodded.

“Is there a way to make the scars disappear?” Azriel asked and Madja turned to look at him. Her eyes moved from his face to his hands and then back again and she sighed.

“I’m sorry” she shook her head.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You groaned and opened your eyes, the familiar ceiling of your room was the first thing you saw and you sighed in relief. It wasn’t a dream, he really found me. You thought.

You stirred a bit and felt something moving next to you. Azriel was sitting on a chair next to your bed with his head pressed onto the mattress next to your bandaged hand.

“Azriel” you croaked, and he jumped on his feet.

“Cauldron, you’re awake!” he gasped and scanned your face. “What do you need?” he asked.

“Water”

A glass appeared next to your bed and Azriel quickly brought it to your dry lips. You gulped down the water and coughed.

“I’m so so sorry” he whispered, and some tears escaped from his eyes. “That’s why I didn’t want you to be my mate.” “Its not your fault, they decided to take me,and I am the reason Clover knew about the mating bond.” You said softly.

“Clover?” Azriel furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yes Aeden’s brother, the other bartender” you explained.

“I know who he is. What did he do?” he growled, and you paled, he didn’t know.

“He brought them to me” you confessed, not in the mood for a fight.

Azriel turned to leave.

“Don’t!” you tried to get up and hissed when your hand rubbed against the mattress.

“Stay on the bed.” He said and approached you again, fixing the pillows around you to make you more comfortable.

“Why did you burn the camps?” you asked him.

“I didn’t… I don’t know who did, but I will find out.”

“They were sure that it was you.” you stared at him.

“I didn’t burn the camps.” He stared back.

“Okay, please don’t do anything to Clover, I will handle him when I feel better.” He nodded. “You can leave now” you continued.

“When you feel better, we can go to a priestess and reject the bond.” He informed you. Your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat.

“Listen, I know how the healing process goes and I really think it’s best if you let me help you, it will be easier this way. When your hands are healed, we will go to a priestess and reject the bond and I won’t bother you again” his voice broke towards the end.

“Is it true that some males go mad after rejecting the bond?” you asked him.

“Don’t worry about it, you will be free” he mumbled and walked to the door. The small shadow friend you made stayed on the bed with you and Azriel stared at it.

“Come here” you whispered, and it darted to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to reject the bond if it’ll affect you so much, we can break it” you told him.

He shook his head. “If you need something send the shadow to get me” and with that he was gone.

You blamed him for everything that happened to you but when you saw him so broken you couldn’t say anything and the words that escaped from your mouth made your heart clench as you realized that it was your fault indeed. Azriel had kept the mating bond hidden from everyone because he knew this could happen but you? You told everyone about it including two strangers. Did Aeden know what his brother was planning to do? Did he tell you to leave his house to make it easier for them? You felt nauseous at the thought.

And Azriel? He seemed so broken. You didn’t know how to feel about rejecting the bond, even though he treated you like shit from the moment you came to the night court, you didn’t want to make him go mad.

You stared at you bandaged hands and sighed, the pain was bearable now and you didn’t really mind the scars if you could still use your hands. Those scars felt liberating, you aren't the perfect lady your parents tried to create anymore. Those scars showed that you are strong and imperfect. The weight you always carried on your shoulders by trying to be perfect for everyone else was suddenly lifted. It still made your heart ache because you knew they would be ugly but they would make you look dangerous in battle and you could always wear gloves in social events.

You glanced at the small shadow by your side.

“Shadow, scarred hands… maybe I will become the new shadowsinger” you said, and the shadows nudged your shoulder.

“I will call you Claude” you said, and it hissed. “Oh come on I thought we were friends”. It rested on your shoulder again and you smiled.

The door opened and Nesta walked in.

“Hey” she smiled and sat next to you.

“Hi” you smiled back and made more space for her.

“I wanted to apologize” she said.

“Why?” you quirked a brow.

“Because I didn’t know that Azriel was your mate and I told you about Gwyn and then took her side.” She avoided your gaze.

“It’s okay.” You replied and lifted your hand to caress her shoulder but hissed by the pain.

Nesta stayed by your side for the rest of the day and read some of her favorite books, making your face flush at the smutty scenes.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

 Two days passed and Madja finally took off the bandages making you gag at the sight of the burnt flesh.

“Don’t worry it will heal” she offered you a sad smile. “You have to put this ointment on them and then do these exercises. You have to train them again if you want them to faction like before. When the wounds are healed, I will show you how to massage them in order to release the pressure from the muscles.”

“Thank you” you said and watched how she moved her hands to show you the exercises.

When she left the room Azriel walked inside. “Hey how are you?” he asked, and you hid your hands under the duvet making him frown.

“Better” you mumbled.

He walked to the side of the bed and grabbed the container of the ointment.

“May I?” he asked you.

You watched his scarred hands opening the container and felt more comfortable. You gave him your hands and his breath hitched. You watched him as he carefully applied the ointment, his eyes watering.

“I have to do some exercises” you informed him.

“Okay we will do them together.” He spoke.

He watched as you tried to close your fist. You whimpered because of the pain and stopped.

“Good” Azriel praised you.

“But I didn’t do it” you said and tried again.

“You need time. You’ll get closer each day.” He said and showed you his fist. “Trust me it takes time.”

Azriel came to your room every day to apply the ointment and help you with the exercises. He cheered every time you managed to do the exercise and praised you when you failed. He always left when someone else came to see you or when you finished practicing the gestures except for one night. That night you broke down, and he held you as you cried, whispering that everything is going to be okay and promising to keep you safe until you returned to training.

Over the time he became your rock and his visits the best parts of your days. You couldn’t forgive him for the past, but you felt ready to give him a chance to become your friend.

If I forgot to tag someone please let me know! Also if anyone wants to be removed from the tag list you can tell me I won't get offended!!

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