#from loving barbie horse to seeing a real horse

[whitesunlars]

my one (1) complaint about the barbie movie is that they showed the only horses in Barbieland being horse head on stick toys when really there should have been a representation of the direct doll to horse girl pipeline of barbie pegasus. 

i’m not saying a cgi horse. i’m saying a giant plastic barbie pegasus. 

[splitting-infinities]

the barbie movie is not "anti-man", it's anti-oppression.

in the real world, that oppression takes the shape of patriarchal power and women feeling like an afterthought or an accessory. in barbie land, it takes the shape of kens not knowing who they could become as independent beings because their existence has been irrevocably tied to barbie. barbie occupies the place of power, and ken is the afterthought and accessory.

the point of the movie is that any imbalance in the equality of any group of people makes the world a bad place to live in. ken feels unfulfilled and unappreciated in barbie land. He's been told his purpose is Barbie, but he's failing at that and doesn't understand what's wrong. He doesn't think he could be more than Barbie's love interest. Similarly, women in the real world feel forgotten, stunted, and held to impossible standards. Their purpose has been warped by other people telling them what it should be.

That's why it's So Important that both ken and barbie have their own reckonings of how they've reaped benefits at the expense of each other. neither of them wanted to hurt the other. Barbie just liked being a hero in Barbie Land and Ken liked feeling appreciated (and horses) when he was in the real world. But they both see and dislike how the other has been hurt by the power disparity in the real world and in barbie land. And they resolve to not perpetuate that cycle of hurt.

the reason barbie is a good movie is precisely because its main thesis is not Women Better Than Men. Nor is it a preservation of the binary or gender roles.

It's main thesis is that your identity is not the same thing as what you are to other people. And that's not exclusively a moral for Barbie herself. Sure, Barbie isn't Barbie because she's Ken's girlfriend - she's her own person to the point that the actively chooses humanity at the end. But a large portion of the movie also is devoted to explaining that Ken isn't Ken because he's Barbie's boyfriend. That Ken is his own person and should be allowed to be that, because that's (k)enough. Even Alan exists separate from the binary convention and has his own identity and story arc. He serves as a foil for the falsely symbiotic Ken/Barbie role dynamic.

anyway, my point is, no one should be (exclusively) defined by what they mean to someone else, or by what they have (whether that's power, a casa house, or a romantic partner). Everyone is a person deserving love, equality, and their own story, whatever that is.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HCs: Ken meeting a Human!Fem!Reader who owns a ranch

Wanted to write something for this movie bc it’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past two days. So enjoy, lovelies! 

I’m taking requests for this movie so don’t be shy <3 

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

...........

After going back to the Real World to find a purpose for himself, Ken runs into you, a country girl who left the Mattel company to take care of your ranch.

You just stopped in the city to find new outfits..and instead found him rollerblading through the park, immediately recognizing him as a Ken.

You may not be in the company anymore but you just knew (especially with his vibrant outfit giving it away).

You two hit it off right away and eventually you go shopping together.

He gets a new cowboy outfit and is bashful when you pay for it (to which you reply that you..really didn’t have a choice in the matter, as he had no money).

He’s like “ohh that happened before when I was with Barbie..we got arrested for the second time that day :D”

You’re very concerned and decide that he should stick with you from now on (not that anyone at Mattel would ever care about a Ken running around to begin with...you just didn’t wanna have to bail him out of jail).

On the truck ride back to your home, you mentioned owning a ranch and Ken’s in a w e

You tell him more about it, and he’s so intrigued and can’t stop staring at you the entire time, especially as you go on about how a lot of women in your world are cowgirls and how they aren’t represented enough.

He bluntly states that he once believed “patriarchy” was all about the horses and you nearly laughed, but he seemed sad about it, so you assure him if he wanted to see horses, he made the right decision coming with you.

You introduce him to one of your favorite steeds and he’s SO overjoyed to actually see one in person. Like petting its mane and asking dozens of questions like an excited kid.

“Are you sure Barbieland didn’t have any horses of their own?”

“No, we just have the ones on sticks and our imaginations.” He pouts, mimicking the way he rode invisible horses with his hands. “But this? This is WAY cooler!!”

He tries mounting your horse, envisioning himself riding off into the sunset, free as a bird while shouting “yeehaw” at the top of his lungs-

Only for it to rear its head up and nearly stomp on his foot, with you having to calm it down as he snaps back to reality, looking utterly distraught and stressed over upsetting it.

“Alrighty. Ken. If you wanna ride a horse..the first step is earning its respect. Thought you would’ve learned about that in those books....but if you’ll let me, I’ll show you how to properly mount one. Luckily this one here’s accustomed to double riders.”

His face lights up and he listens to every instruction you give him, from placing the saddle on its back to climbing on, and finally how to control the direction he wants it to go.

For this one time, however, you take the reins and let him sit behind you, hugging you a bit too tightly for your liking, but you allow it as you show him around the rest of your ranch.

He just likes the closeness fr and you.

By the time the day’s over, your horse got better acquainted with Ken and let him ride around for a little while before you gotta put it in the stable for the night.

Before he could worry about where he was gonna go, you tell him he can stay with you as long as he wants.

He’s so happy he just,,,,breaks down ugly crying into your arms.

Though he quickly apologizes, admitting he’s still getting used to crying freely and being more emotional and-

“It’s okay, Ken.” You reassure him. “We need more guys like that around here who ain’t afraid to shed a tear or two.”

“Th-Thanks...Barbie told me it’s an amazing feeling. And honestly..it kinda is.”

After that small heart-to-heart talk, he gifts you his horseshoe necklace as a sign of his appreciation, that dopey grin returning to his face when you take it and wear it right away.

Yeah, you’ve only met each other for a day and he’s smitten the moment you started treated him as an equal. You let him have his own room, bed, wardrobe, etc. (and in time he'll have his own horse too).

All you ask is that he helps you manage the ranch, but at this point he’s willing to do anything for you now.

Finally, he realizes this was his dream all along.

One that Barbieland couldn't provide, but that was alright.

Patriarchy is overrated, anyways. This was all he wanted.

[justanotherhh]

some trailer things:

big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?

obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:

john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)

also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?

more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended

also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)

and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)

the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother

generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for

also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking

blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital

who's this?

another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?

blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)

this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!

also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious

is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)

MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.

this blitz + fizz moment

it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time

(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)

fascinated by this:

is that millie?

things we didn't see:

no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)

and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited

[angelxmikaelson]

save a horse

save a horse | dr3

summary: when daniel ricciardo’s famous girlfriend has a new movie coming out he wastes no time taking the chance to brag about her.

face claim: margot robbie

pairings: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader,  

warnings:  none.

liked by: danielricciardo, tchalamet, ariana_greenblatt and 2,135,925 more

yourusername: this barbie can’t wait to share her new movie with you all. everyone involved in the creation of this film deserves the biggest round of applause EVER. @gretagerwig, has put her heart and soul into making sure you all love this film, so we really hope you love it. 

comments

danielricciardo that’s my girlfriend. suck it! >danielricciardo seriously though, i am so incredibly proud of you >landonorris danny the simp ladies and gentlemen >yourusername aww dan i love you

florencepugh i can’t wait for this, so excited >yourusername 💗

gretagerwig couldn’t have done it without my real life barbie  >danielricciardo isn’t she the best 

user1 daniel simping over y/n in every post she’s in brings me so much joy

user2 i want a relationship like daniel’s and y/n’s

user3 don’t mind me, just screaming over my childhood dreams coming true

lilymunihe my barbie 🤍 >yourusername my ken 🤍 >danielricciardo something to tell me @yourusername?? >yourusername it’s not what it looks like baby i promise

alexalbon can’t believe barbie stole my girlfriend, how am i supposed to compete? >pierregasly you’re not, she did the same to me

francisca.cgomes i’m so proud of you, i can’t wait to watch it >carmen.mundt movie night at mine?? @lilymunihe @francisca.cgomes @charlottesiine >lilymunihe i’ve got the popcorn >charlottesiine be there in 20 x

liked by: charlesleclerc, yourusername, lewishamilton and 983,743 more

danielricciardo: this ken loves his barbie. so proud of you baby, even though you didn’t make me a ken. (i would have rocked that shit) 

comments

user4 daniel as a ken is something i need in life 

user5 cowboy ken >yourusername now there’s an idea

yourusername i can’t explain how much i’m grateful for you daniel, i love you

landonorris i don’t think i’ll ever be free from the lovey dovey energy you two give off >danielricciardo go cry about it >yourusername daniel be nice to our child >landonorris thanks mom >danielricciardo what the fuck?!?!

user6 lando being daniel and y/n’s child makes so much sense >danielriccardo it’s cause he’s such a baby

liked by: maxverstappen1, lilireinhart, americaferrera and 1,857,356 more

yourusername don’t be mad, sometimes barbie and ken need to match. throwing it back to 1960s barbie so my ken could live his ‘just ken’ moment.

comments

maxverstappen1 who’s that in the second pic? he looks sexy >yourusername he really is >danielricciardo @ maxverstappen1 hit me up baby

maxverstappen1 i’d like to see what type of nude blob he’s packing under his jeans >landonorris if you know, you know >yourusername there are CHILDREN present maximus

danielricciardo to be honest, when i found out that the patriarchy wasn’t about horses i lost interest. should have gone with the pink >yourusername you’re kidding, now you tell me. 

user3 i can’t wait to see this movie now

user9 barbie is such an icon

danielricciardo everyone go watch my girlfriend be the epitome of perfect, like she is all the time but you actually get to watch it this time

carlossainz i am so glad he is out of the country right now, he would be unbearable otherwise >charlesleclerc i agree

lewishamilton well done y/n/n, so proud 💜 >yourusername thank you lew💜

enews our barbie review, out now

authors note: barbie was such a good movie ngl, go watch it

[wpdarlingpan]

hello! for the requests, how dark are you comfortable with writing? i wanted to request something barbie movie x reader with maybe kidnapping, noncon/dubcon, breeding, baby-trapping, idk something like that!

Their Love

Hey! Thank you so much for the request. I’ll probably only do kidnapping and a little sleeping kiss cause I’m not the most experienced on writing the other two so I hope you still like it!

Warnings: kidnapping and slight noncon (kiss while your sleeping)

Barbieworld (mainly Barbie and Ken) x Reader

You were from the real world and compared to Barbie world, it was terrible. It wasn’t pink buildings and clean beaches. For you, your reality was anything but. You lived on the streets of Los Angeles. Jumping from bench to bench if you were lucky or the occasional alley way. Your parents had kicked you out the day you turned 18. They had never wanted a child but didn’t want to deal with the legalities of abandonment so treating you as a maid until the day you turned 18 was their next best option.

Today you decided to go visit Venice Beach. It was full of people which meant blending in. At least it was supposed to.

Barbie and Ken had made their way into the real world to figure out her flat feet issue while Ken came to support his supposed “girlfriend”. They had rollerblades in neon rollerblades and flashy outfits, which in your opinion fit them well.

They were going the other direction of you so they didn’t notice how you stared after their retreating figures. A look of admiration sparkled in your usually dull eyes. It was nice, to see more people standing out from the typical style.

But as they were out of eyesight, they were out of mind. Just a brief passing thought as you figured you would never see the random strangers again.

Just to your unimaginable luck, you did.

Ken had made his way back to Barbieland to fill the Kens in on his understanding of patriarchy and horses. When he saw you. You hadn’t seen him yet, just gazing at the waves as they splashed against the shore. People running around with blinding smiles on their faces, surrounded by the people they love. A part of you wished for it but you didn’t even know how it felt.

Ken couldn’t look away, all the feelings of men being in charge went straight out the window as feelings of obsession began to blind his thoughts. He had begun to make his way over to you, his blonde ‘girlfriend’ briefly passed in his mind but he realized how he never truly loved her. He only thought he did because that was all he knew.

You didn’t notice as the blonde man sat down on the bench with you. Your legs pulled to your chest as if to protect yourself.

“Hi.”

You jumped slightly at the unexpected voice coming from your left. You looked on slightly stunned at the sight of one of the people from earlier.

“Hello.” You spoke shyly, you hadn’t had human interaction in awhile. After all the feelings of self doubt flooded your mind from your parents.

Ken couldn’t even speak right as he gazed at you with a look of love to the naked eye. But deep down the root of obsession was growing deep. Wrapping around his heart like a vine.

Once he knocked himself out of it, he was finally able to talk to you. Introducing himself, which you didn’t even find his name odd, after all you were never bought dolls as a child. It made him love you ever more. After all he could be himself. Not a Ken. Just Ken. He felt kenough. (Sorry I had to ;))

You talked for nearly a hour. You had grown comfortable in his presence which was usually hard to accomplish after being mistreated for so long. But a part of you just knew something felt right, and that feeling didn’t happen often.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you off the bench unexpectedly before rushing you guys towards the shops. You just let your new ‘friend’ drag you along because your naively trusted him. You also didn’t have much waiting for you back at the beach. He stopped at a stand that was selling traded in clothes, shoes, bikes, etc…

“What size rollerblade are you?” He question as he found a couple of rollerblades. They weren’t neon nor pink but they would make do until he could get you some in Barbieland.

“Uh rollerblade?”

“Yes. What size?”

“I don’t know I’ve never rollerbladed.”

Ken had a look of astonishment on his face before looking down are your shoe covered feet and took a estimation before grabbing a dark purple pair and running off. The shop manager yelling curses as you two left out of sight.

“What was that?!” You yelled nervously. You couldn’t afford to be arrested. Ken looked calm as ever as he led you to a bench and traded out your shoes for the blades. Once he finished he put his on and helped you stand up.

“What are we even doing Ken?”

“We are going back to Barbieland.” You looked at him in disbelief as if he would suddenly break out laughing but the urge to get you there before you could leave him was overwhelming.

You wanted to protest but the idea of falling and possibly injuring yourself with zero hope of medical insurance, you didn’t have many options. He led you off into a little area where suddenly you weren’t rollerblading. You were on a snowmobile. Then a bike. A rocket ship. A motor home where he had made you both s’mores. Well plastic ones but the flavor still melted onto your tongue and your stomach felt almost sick after two of the treats. Then finally a boat and a car. You saw the giant sign approaching, not realizing this would be the last time you would see this sign. After all, you weren’t leaving anytime soon.

Meanwhile after Barbie had fled from Mattel with Gloria and Sasha they were just about to approach the beach.

Ken didn’t exactly know where to bring you. But as he drove you into town he saw the way everyone’s eyes lingered after the car. More specifically after you. You were silent most of the trip but couldn’t help letting out silent awe’s at the world around you. Followed by a self-conscious feeling. After all you were not the most put together person and all of these people don’t have a hair out of place.

Ken brought you to Barbies Dreamhouse and told you to wait as he opened the door for you like a gentlemen. He never even did it before, but the thoughts came naturally.

“Wow.” You said quietly as he led you into the house and up the stairs. It was the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. But a part of you was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like going back to LA.

“I’ll bring you some clothes if you want to go to the shower. Not saying you look dirty or anything I just thought-“ he was cut off by your giggle as he looked at you with embarrassment.

“It’s okay Ken. I would really like to freshen up. Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course!” He forgot all about his rant as he ran to go get clothes and you quickly hopped into the shower before he could return. No water came out of the shower head like you expected but you were getting clean nonetheless.

Meanwhile Ken picked out one of his favorite outfits and set it near the shower. The urge to look was overruled by his feeling of protection over the innocent person.

Barbie and the two humans weren’t faced with the volleyball court of boys and female cheerleaders. It was all the same as when she left. She gladly pointed everything out and talked about the amazing world and she was able to back it up with the wonderful sights. They were even able to see the President.

Pulling up to her dreamhouse she saw another car outside which was presumably Ken’s. She held back a sigh before getting out of the car. She led the women in behind her. But what she wasn’t expecting was to see another human standing beside Ken. Barbie noticed they were wearing her clothes but didn’t mind all that much after seeing how they looked on you. Kens arm wrapped around your waist in case of a bad reaction but Barbies eyes gained a similar look as Kens earlier. The feeling of obsession and love competing with one another before mixing into one.

They shared a look of understanding which didn’t go unnoticed to Gloria and Sasha, after all they were quite adverse in the real world.

The three humans had no idea that you would never be leaving Barbieworld again.

But then again… what did you have to lose?

Barbie set up Gloria and Sasha with a house a few away from hers. It was a discontinued house so nobody was currently living in it. She left them to settle in for the next few days, or shorter depending on how long she could stand having a distraction from you. After all she began to feel her heels lift whenever she saw you.

Barbie and Ken talked with you for a few hours, answering all your questions without any distain until it began to grow late. They promised to answer more of your questions tomorrow. Secretly happy they had a reason to cut you off as they felt the question of leaving approaching. Barbie got you some pajamas and before you knew it the there of you were laying in a heart shaped bed. One of the dolls on either side or you.

They both had a arm wrapped around you, leaning you feeling trapped but as you laid there the feeling of being trapped faded into safety.

Once you fell asleep the blondes placed a loving kiss on your lips, just lightly enough not to wake you up even though they could only wish for now to feel it be reciprocated as nature feelings blossomed.

Everyone in Barbieland questioned who you were after you had left with Ken, soon followed by staying with Barbie. But they couldn’t feel themselves being opposed to it, after all you looked so adorable!

So I guess your there to stay huh?

[notyourhetloki]

Hiiii I loved your last Ken imagine and have a request for one. How would reader celebrate Ken's birthday? I doubt it's ever been celebrated before 🤔

Ken's birthday headcanons (Ken x Reader)

Reader: gender neutral

/Ken x Reader/

A/N: Yeess more Ken requests! Please send them my way, I'm obsessed!! Thank you for requesting, anon. This is very simple but I hope you like it nonetheless!

—

Whether or not you were from the Real World, you just liked birthdays… they were officially your thing now.

You liked celebrating the people around you (and celebrating in general), so when Ken had his first birthday with you, you HAD to make it count!

You would plan a whole party at your place, luring him in and surprising him with all the Kens and Barbies (and Allan) screaming "Happy birthday, Ken!".

He cried, of course... but they were happy tears! No one has ever put that much thought into him, and seeing you had made such an effort to make everything perfect made Ken feel truly special.

"Here, Ken... this is for you!" You offered him a gift, and his eyes grew big in excitement. "For me?!"

He had never received a gift before, so when he opened the box and found a little horse statue, he dramatically collapsed to his knees.

That worried you a little, patting his head while asking carefully: "Is everything alright?"

"It's... It's beautiful..." Ken would cry even more, pouting his lips while looking up at you.

You would have to reassure him that the statue was just a simple gift, "It's your birthday, Ken... you deserve it!" and even after that, he would hug you tight for a long while, completely ecstatic.

After he regained composure, he would go back to the party and finally have some fun, dancing and making choreographies along with his friends.

And after the party was over, you would ask him to come inside the house with you... so the pampering session could begin!

Massages, face masks, hair brushing, it was like being in a spa! You made sure everything was just right, and that he was enjoying himself (really, he was having the best time of his life).

That boosted his ego immensely, bringing his confident self forward even more. And the PRAISES he would get all night long... sheesh, they would stay in his head for weeks!

And of course, you would give him lots of smooches so he would know how much he was loved! And whisper sweet affirmations into his ear, like: "I love you, baby." or "I hope you had a fantastic day... you deserve it." and of course "Happy birthday, blondie..." ♡

—

[3seven-gambler]

#⌁꒰Cowgiɾl Bɑɾbie! ɾeɑdeɾ x RG! Ken dɑting heɑdcɑnons꒱

⋆ w𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 631

⋆ g𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: fluff, SFW

⋆ a/n: not proofread!

ken lives in my head rent free rn- also this is my first writing in a long time so this might not be the best sorry-.

⋆ When he first saw you arriving to Barbie Land was with your beautiful sparkly horse.

⋆ He thought you looked so good on your outfit! He wanted to go and put on his cowboy outfit so bad.

⋆ One time, he saw your striking horse standing alone, no sight of you near it. He took the chance and waited for you there while petting your horse.

⋆ -“Well, hello there, Ken” you said while walking closer to him, giving him a bright smile.

⋆ - “Hi Barbie!” he said with his characteristically smile and excitement in his sweet voice, while still stroking your horse softly.

⋆ You took notice of that -“You like horses?”

⋆ -“Horses are AMAZING” he said even with more excitement.

⋆ -“I see” you laughed softly because of his attitude. 

⋆ He looked at you with the softest eyes you had ever seen, like if they carried so much love and care.

⋆ And you had an idea then. -“Hey, would you like to go to my dream farm house, I got more horses there, and I could use so help to feed them all”.

⋆ He felt like if all his wishes had come true, or at least some of them.

⋆ He gladdly accepted, and so you got on your special horse and he sat behind you, hugging your waist.

⋆ You rode out of the city and got to a big farm with a stunning mansion and a big stable.

⋆ He finally had a real best day ever, before all he nedeed was a look from Stereotypical Barbie; but then when he met you, everything just felt even more right.

⋆ Months went by and the two of you become super really close. Every other Barbie, Ken and also Allan took quick notice of that.

⋆ You two had a thing going, at least you thought that. You knew, from what other Barbies and Allan told you, about Ken’s big crush on Stereo Barbie, but how she didn’t feel the same way. But did he keep having those feelings towards her?

⋆ Hopefully, when you were hanging out with Ken one day he asked you out, making all your worries go away.

⋆ The two of you were on a date he planned with all his heart, he wanted this to be THE perfect date. He told you to get Starry, your ultimate spacial horse, and guided the two of you to a super special location on the beach. After a while, with all of his courage asked you -“Would you like us to be girlfriend and boyfriend?” while closing his eyes and crossing his fingers. When you said yes, he asked for permission to kiss you, and you answered by graving him softly by his cheeks and giving him a sweet long kiss.

⋆ He plans the best dates ever. Picnics, horse rides together, beach days, and many cute things.

⋆ He’s literally such a sweetheart. Whenever he’s with you -which is all the time now-, he makes sure to have all your favorite things at hand and also things for Starry.

⋆ He spends a lot of time in your house; he visits you every day now that you are together.

⋆ He helps you out feeding and taking care of the horses, and of course you have a great time as well since he’s really good at it and he’s a great company as well.

⋆ He makes sure to have matching outfits with you, always.

⋆ He cried hard when, after a while, you asked him to move in into your ‘farm’.

⋆ He took a full sense of responsability to take care of the house and the horses.

⋆ He just wants to show you how much he appreciates what you have done for him. After all, you gave him all he could wish for: love, a place to call home, and horses<3.

❥ 𝖱𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽. || 𝖣𝖮 𝖭𝖮𝖳 𝖱𝖤𝖯𝖮𝖲𝖳/𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖭𝖲𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖤.

[uncleclam]

Ken x gn!reader / he wants to marry you so bad

Word count: 728

Rating: sfw

This stupid doll…

CAN'T STOP PROPOSING

Whatever is going on in his tiny little plastic brain, you never expect THIS to happen. He must have been watching way too much Netflix, you know cause when you check the watch history, he basically clicked all romance drama possible, ALL. This is concerning, a drop of sweat formed on your forehead as you see he also watched all princess movies on Disney plus, too. Is this why he keeps bringing that up? That he believed in ‘happily ever after’? Because that sounds like something ‘the Mattel dictionary’ totally would have.

It wasn’t you’re not ready, well, a part of you is definitely not ready, or something anti-marriage of you, because you have definitely thought about it, dreamed of it even, but the reality of having a lifelong commitment is something chased you away—-

Not in a bad way, but definitely not in KEN’s way.

Ken is your cute, clumsy, curious, sometimes annoying roommate. He is still learning about the real world, everything is new to him and he’s so eager to try all of them. You tried to provide the best for him, he’s your favorite doll after all, he has been there with you since you can remember(In a toy form, naked)! You treat him almost like a pet now, you love him of course! Just not in that way…

I want to live with you forever! I want to be your forever partner!

His voice echoes in your brain, it was so innocent and charming actually, his big blue eyes were like shining diamonds, begging you the same way he begged for an ice-cream, you almost said yes out of instinct. Time felt frozen to you, your eyes widened, lungs stopped working. Ken blinked and waited for your response.

‘What did you just say, Ken?’ You asked, wanting to reconfirm.

‘I want to marry you!’

‘Uhh…’ You paused, looking away slightly.

‘Can i?’ He sounded so enthusiastic, like always.

‘I'm afraid we cannot…’ You finally gathered the sentence and spoke it out, sighed, and petted Ken’s hand that had been on your shoulder.

‘Is it something expensive again? Like a double decker bus or a horse?’ Ken tilted his head, he was genuinely asking. He had asked you so many prices on different stuff, especially the stuff he wanted.

‘Not exactly, but-‘ you shuttered.

‘Then why can’t we get married?’ He asked again.

‘Because it needs promises, and promises are not easy.’ You explained, felt like describing the concept of algebra to a toddler. Ken actually paused and started thinking for a while.

———

For the first few days, he seemed upset and confused after you rejected him. The concept of marriage he googled is simply not that easy, you tried to explain to him but he didn’t say anything. You heard him sobbing on the sofa that night. After a week, he’s back to normal classic Ken again, but whenever he opens his mouth, it’s about marrying you.

‘What do you want for lunch?’

‘A wedding dress on you!’

Or

‘Ken, will you pass me the sugar?’

‘I, Ken, take you to be my forever lover, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.’

A dramatic pause

‘I do.’ He vowed as he passed the sugar.

———

This has been 3 weeks now, about the marrying you thing, and he has no signs of giving that up. You wished you were a barbie so you wouldn’t have to care so much—- He even bought two of those Ring Pop where you can suck the candy while it stays on your finger. The candy itself is comically big. A red, cherry flavored for you, and a green, lime flavored for himself. He jogged his way to you, gently held your right hand up and pushed the ring down to the base of your third finger.

‘This doesn’t mean we are officially married—‘

‘I know.’ He looked up and smiled, putting on his own ring and licked on the sweetened crystal. Then He jogged away to look at other stuff while humming the wedding theme song.

He hasn’t taken off the finished plastic ring ever since, and so do you too.

[manicplank]

I’m going to keep this simple, I want a headcanon about their favorite movies.

fuck this might suck bc I don't watch a lot of movies. bare with me here it might not be super specific.

FAVORITE MOVIES

Peppino: I feel like he would enjoy classic movies like Titanic or The Great Gatsby. Classy and classic. Hates horror movies. Actually watches movies quite often.

Gustavo: Also loves the classics. I can see him watching Sweeny Todd or The Master of Disguise. He likes comedy movies, too. I can imagine that he loved the movie Elf.

Mr. Stick: Loves mafia movies. Thinks he's an old fashioned ganster when in reality, he's just greedy. The Godfather is his favorite. He probably also liked Knives Out.

Pepperman: I don't see him watching too many videos since he's always busy painting. However, I think he would really like cheesy movies. Fame would probably be one of them. Probably even loved the movie Chicago.

The Vigilante: Anything old western. Dreams of being a real cowboy. Once watched Brokeback Mountain not realize what the movie was ACTUALLY about, he was thoroughly traumatized. His favorite was The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The Noise: HEAR. ME. OUT. This absolute fucking crack baby would LOVE the first two Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. He tried to get Noisette to watch them with him, but she started crying because it was too disturbing. I feel like he'd love slasher films in general. Judges most movies as he thinks his are better. (Secretly loves Inside Out. Cried over it. Noisette teases him about it constantly.) Also loved Parasite and The SpongeBob Movie.

Noisette: She loves anything Disney, especially the classics or princesses. Knows all the songs to Frozen. Her favorite was Tangled. She still hasn't stopped asking for a white horse and an iguana sidekick. She always cries at movies. She doesn't like horror or gore in movies. She also loves cheesy chick flicks and Noise's movies. She's his #1 fan, after all.

Fake Peppino: Will watch anything and everything. He will watch it on repeat until he memorizes every line. If I had to choose a favorite for him, it would probably be The Little Mermaid (animated version). He really likes the water aspect. It reminds him of being a little baby tadpole.

Pizzahead: Movie fanatic. Loves most movies and will watch any genre. Anything from the classic 1930's movie to new modern movies. Probably would love the Barbie movie. I feel like he would like musicals. His all time favorite would probably be Gone with the Wind. I also see him enjoying slasher films.

Pillar John: Likes comedy movies. Probably likes the movie Meatballs. Also likes documentaries. I feel like he would be into both Disney and DreamWorks, one of his favorites being Guardians of the Galaxy.

Gerome: Big movie lover and will watch almost anything. Secretly enjoys The Noise's movies, but won't tell him because he refuses to feed his ego. He probably can't choose just one favorite.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

I went to see Barbie. And my Steddie brainworms decided to create this scenario...

Barbie spoilers, I guess?

What is Stevie is the stereotypical Barbie? Her Ken is Tommy, always trying to catch her attention and she just wants some peace, some individuality, anything.

Eddie is weird Barbie. She revels in all the additions her girl created during her early rock phase (Eddie has scribbled on eyeliner and a metal hairstyle and homemade battlevest, Eddie loves her kid to pieces even if she got ostracized for the additions).

Stevie's owner is Karen Wheeler. She is struggling with her home life and trying to remain perfect all the time. Her daughter Nancy is leaving for college and Karen feels like she is losing a huge part of herself.

The movie happens, Stevie makes Karen happy again, she reconciles with Nancy before she leaves for college, Tommy brings back patriarchy, Barbies manage to stop Kendom and all that. Tommy learns to be a separate person from his Barbie/idols/sports/horses and finds himself in a blossoming relationship with Carol.

At the end, Stevie chooses to be human and asks Eddie to join her in the real world because there, she can be weird directly, she doesn't need to rely on someone else to transfer their interests onto her. Eddie accepts and Karen Wheeler happily shows the girls what things are like in the real world.

Also Karen's son Mike forgets his Dungeons and Dragons guidebook on the kitchen table one day and Eddie has never been the same since.

[aviawrites]

i’ve had kenough. (barbie)

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘬𝘦𝘯 #2 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘰𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘬𝘦𝘯; 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘯 #2. 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘰𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵? (6.3𝘬)

𝘢/𝘯: 𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭. 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵!! 𝘪’𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥. 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘪𝘭𝘺<3

𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘺𝘯 𝘪𝘴: 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘦

Muffled music continues to play from Barbie’s dream house as you close the door to your own. Being as you’re Cowgirl Barbie, it’s essential that your boots are with you wherever you go. They click against the cement as you walk to the dream house, prepared for girls night. The area is sprinkled with confetti even with the dance party having ended an hour ago. 

Just as you look up from latching the last button on your PJ’s, you see Beach Ken leaving the dream house. 

“Hi, Ken!” You tilt your hat, walking closer.

He slowly looks up, a frown plastered on his face. “Hi, Barbie.”

You stop in front of him, your smile now upside down. “Are you alright? Did you eat too many cake pops again?” 

He turns to face you, shaking his head.

“Barbie turned me away again.” He confesses. “She said she didn’t want me here since it’s her dream house.” 

“Oh, Ken. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It is an all-girls night, you know?”

Ken solemnly nods, “Yea, I know. I just wish she’d spend time with me. You know, since we’re boyfriend girlfriend.” 

“Right.” You recall.

You stare at him. His hair is stringy from sweating on the dance floor and the moonlight highlights his glossy eyes. He’s so pitiful, it’d be a crime not to help him out. 

“Hey, Ken?” 

“Hm?” 

“Would you want to see my horses?” You ask, remembering how much he loves animals. Though, he’s only ever talked about beach animals. Like dolphins and Mermaid Ken. 

“Won’t you miss your girls night?”

“I’ll only be a little late. Besides, Stereotypical Barbie won’t mind me missing a few minutes to make you feel better.” 

Beach Ken stares at the floor for a moment, seemingly contemplating if he should take you up on your offer...Or perhaps contemplating if he’s ever seen a real horse, which you doubt he has.

“Sure, I’d like to see your horses.” He agrees, looking at you. 

“Great!” You smile, ecstatic at any chance you get to show off your mares.

Now at the back of your dream house, you walk Ken to the stables. 

“There’s Misty, Lady, and Ruby.” You point to each one of the brown horses as they look over the half doors. 

“They eat…that?” Ken points over to the haystack sitting outside of their stalls. 

“Mhm. Sometimes when they’re grazing they eat apples or grain. But mostly hay.”

His eyebrows furrow as he looks from the hay, to the horses, and back at the hay.

“What?”

“I just- I thought Cowgirl Barbie had…cows. And I thought cows ate grass.” He looks to you like his brain is in a million different places.

“I only have horses, Ken. The cows stay with Farmer Barbie. Along with the chickens and the pigs and the ducks-“

“So Cowgirl Barbie is really…Horsegirl Barbie?” He places his hands on his hips, stunned.

“No, Ken. Cowgirl doesn’t mean I’m a girl with cows.”

“Then what does it mean-“

Just as you suck in a frustrated breath, you see your soft white cat curl his tail around Ken’s leg. Ken cautiously raises his arms as if he’ll wobble over and fall at any moment.

“Relax.” You tell him, picking up the white Maine Coon. “This is Mr. Cat.”

Ken stares at him, “I didn’t know you had a cat.” 

“It was sort of a secret.” You admit. “It was a gift from Ken #2 when we first became girlfriend boyfriend. Supposed to be an us thing.”

Ken reaches his hand out, “…Can I-“ 

“Go ahead.” 

Ken warily pets Mr. Cat between the ears and he lets out a low purr. Using your non-occupied hand, you check your cowboy hat shaped watch. 

“Oh!” You put Mr. Cat down, Ken’s hand almost following him. He scurries inside through your kitty door. “Time to go home, Ken. I can’t be too late.” You begin walking around your dream house toward Stereotypical Barbie’s.

“Um, I don’t have a home.” 

You stop and turn toward him, “I’m sorry?”

“The Ken’s don’t have houses. Certainly not dream houses.”

“…At all?” You confirm.

“Ken #2 never told you?”

You think, tilting your head. “Huh, I guess I never asked. He’s just always…there. Whenever I need him.”

“Like I am for Stereotypical Barbie?”

“Exactly!” You agree. “Well, just go…wherever you go at night.” 

You turn, making it around your dream house and back to the central area, right in front of Barbie’s home.

“I hope you feel better, Ken!” You say as you jog to the dream house the best you can in heeled boots.

“I do!” He calls behind you, “Thanks, Barbie!”

“Anytime!” You shout back. 

His footsteps retreat and you step inside, a big smile on your face as you await the night ahead of you. 

Moments later, you hear the giggles of your favorite girls. You round the corner to see them all sat criss cross in a line in the backyard. A braiding train of about 6 of your friends by the pool is your favorite sight to see. 

“Barbie!” President Barbie stands up and walks toward you. “Where have you been?”

“Sorry I’m late,” You say as she takes your hat and hangs it for you, “I was showing off my horses.” 

“Ugh, love your horses.”

Lawyer Barbie looks over from the braiding train. “We were just discussing how much we love Author Barbie’s new frames!” 

“Don’t they make her look so smart?” Stereotypical Barbie adds. “Smarter than she already is, of course.” 

“Like that’s even possible.” You remark, sitting behind the last girl and beginning to braid.

——

Your ponytail bounces behind you as you walk toward the beach, volleyball in hand.

“Goodmorning, Barbie!” You wave to Stereotypical Barbie as she eats breakfast in her dream house. 

She gives you a smile and a wave as she takes another bite of her pancakes. 

You continue walking with a smile on your face, more than excited to see Ken #2 and your girls at the beach.

“Hi, Barbie!” The ginger waves from her yard, “Love the new patch.”

You look down at your bathing suit top and see the ‘You’re Awesome’ Sheriffs patch right over your heart. 

“Thanks, Midge!” 

You’ve barely removed your pink embroidered boots before Ken #2 is rushing up to you, dropping his pom-poms on the way. He takes both of your boots from you, prepared to guard them with his life on the sideline.

“Thanks, Ken.” 

“Of course, Barbie.” He smiles, admiring you. “You’re going to do so great in volleyball today.”

“Thanks, I know I will!” 

The last Barbie with the ball switches out with you and you begin playing, serving the ball to the other team. 

‘Keep that Barbie spirit up! Pump, pump, pump it up!’  the cheerleaders chant as the game continues. 

“You’re doing great, Ken,” Allan cheers on the cheerleaders. 

Barbies and Kens alike cheer for the players as the game is in full swing. Your toes are hot in the sand and your hands are stinging from hitting the ball. Just as you go for your final spike, you hear something from the ocean.

Mermaid Barbie lets out a loud shriek and everyone looks over. She stares down at the road and as everyone follows her gaze, you see a sight you’ve seen before. 

Beach Ken lays flat on his back on the pavement, his surfboard alone in the waves. The crowd groans, having seen this go down before. They all turn back to the game. 

Knowing no one else would help, you reluctantly jog out of the game and toward Ken; Allan and Ken #2 following closely behind. 

“Ken!” Allan rushes over. “What happened?” 

You and him kneel beside a winded Ken. 

“I was-“ he tries to catch his breath. “I was practicing my big entrance for Barbie and I…It must’ve been a dolphin.”

You hear a scoff from behind you. 

“I don’t even know why you try anymore,” Ken #2 laughs. “You’ve been trying for weeks. You couldn’t pull it off then and you can’t pull it off now.”

“Ken!” you scold, turning to him.

“I- I’ll go get Doctor Barbie,” Allan says before running off.

You turn back to Beach Ken. 

“B- Barbie-“ he mutters.

“You’ll be okay, Barbie’s on her way. Just, think about the horses. Or better yet, Mr. Cat.”

A smile creeps onto his face as he remembers. “Mr. Cat,” he slurs, out of it. “Misty, Lady, Rugby.”

“Ruby,” you correct.

“Ruby…Mr. Cat.”

“Yep,” you sigh. “Just focus on Mr.Cat.”

You hear rolling not too far from you and heels clicking. Looking up, you see Stereotypical Barbie and Doctor Barbie on their way with a stretcher. You stand up, knowing Beach Ken is in good hands. 

The two women reach down and strain to lug Ken onto the stretcher. Ken #2 reaches down to help.

You put a hand on his chest, stopping him. “They’re strong, they got it.” 

He nods.

Ken throws his head back on the stretcher, still not completely there.

“Barbie, hold my hand!”

“You’re okay,” she assures, grabbing his hand.

The three roll away toward Doctor Barbie’s office. 

Out of the woods, you sigh a breath of relief before turning to face Ken #2. You’re met with a saddened expression.

“…How does he know about Ruby and Mr. Cat?”

“Oh,” you murmur, not sure how Ken will take this. “Last night. Ken was feeling down, so I showed him the horses. Mr. Cat sort of showed himself.”

“Wh- You-“ he blinks, flabbergasted. “Ken. That Ken, was in your dream house?”

“Only to make him feel better, Ken. He was really bummed about Barbie,” you explain.

He lowers his head. “But I thought Mr. Cat was our secret.” 

“Hey,” you grab his hands, “we have tons of other secrets, right? Like our lava cake recipe that we’d never tell a soul. Mr. Cat was bound to be revealed one day.”

He sniffs, nodding. 

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” 

“No,” Ken rubs the back of your hand with his thumbs. “Don’t apologize, you never do anything wrong. You’re perfect.” 

“Awe, thank you, Ken,” you pull him in for a hug. “Your cheers were very beautiful today.” 

“Thanks, Barbie.” 

——

“I just love you guys,” President Barbie sighs as she pulls the muffins out of the oven. 

The kitchen buzzes with chatter as you and the girls decorate Stereotypical Barbie’s dream house. Blue and pink themed pastries fill the air as baby bottles and bows are hung around the house. 

You pass Allan on the way to the backyard with a stack of pink bows to stick on the roof fascia. 

The baby congratulations party is meant to be surprise for both Allan and Midge. But seeing as Allan got too anxious and stressed with the secrecy, his fear of the unknown and chronic FOMO forced you all to tell him. Now, you have an extra decorator. 

You’re all wearing either pink or blue, depending on what you think the gender of Midge’s second baby will be. Of course, the majority of you are decked out in full pink outfits. You’ve just begun sticking the bows on the roof when you hear a knock at the door.

The heels clacking toward the door are only matchable to Stereotypical Barbie as she opens the clear doors. You can’t see, but you hear an all too familiar voice.

“Hi, Barbie.”

“Ken!” You hear her say, slightly worried. “You aren’t- um- What are you doing here?”

“Look, I already know it’s a surprise party.”

You duck down to look into the dream house and to nobody’s shock, you’re all looking at the same person. Allan stares back at all of you, ashamed.

“I got excited, okay! You know I’m not any good at keeping secrets.” He frowns.

President Barbie rubs her forehead, stressed. “Please don’t tell me you told Midge.”

“I didn’t! I only told Ken, I promise.” He raises his eyebrows, holding his pinky out for President Barbie.

She lingers on him before rolling her eyes and locking pinkies with Allan. A soft chuckle escapes you as everyone turns their attention back to Ken.

“Come back when the party starts, yea? It’ll only be about 15 minutes.” Barbie tells him.

She begins to shut the door when Ken holds it open with his free hand.

“Wait, wait-“  He reveals a pile of tangled fairy lights from behind him. “I brought decorations.”

Sent to your side of the river, Ken patiently waits at the bottom of the ladder for his turn. You stick the last pink bow on the roof and begin making your way down. You hold your hand out for the lights. 

“Are you sure? I can do it if it’s too much-“

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.” You assure him. 

He nods, handing you the mess of lights and you climb back up. You begin hanging them around the bows.

“Ken, could you pass me the tape?”

He looks around himself for a moment before seeing the hot pink tape in the grass. He tosses it to you, wincing as you wobble to catch it.

“Please be careful, Barbie.” 

“I will, Ken!” You insist.

Ken anxiously looks up at you as you tape the lights in between the bows. He’s near biting his nails, flinching at every wobble of the ladder. 

You sigh, rolling your eyes at his attentiveness.

“So,” You begin, hoping to calm him down, “What did Doctor Barbie tell you?”

“Um,” He blinks, trying to focus on anything but how high up you are, “I- I was fine once I saw Barbie. She said I was brave.” He smiles widely. 

“Good! That’s good.”

“What did Mr.Higher-than-thee have to say about it?” Ken crosses his arms, a sour expression now on his face.

“Mr.Higher-than-thee?” You tilt your head.

“You know, mini me? My wannabe?”

You blankly stare down at him.

“Your Ken.” He grunts, rolling his eyes.

“Ohhhh,” You nod, “He’s not my Ken. Just Ken #2.”

“That’s even worse. Sounds like he’s a version of me which he is not.”

You stop and think, “Well…he kind of is.” You shrug.

“Whatever.” He sighs, visibly irritated.

You begin hanging lights again, realizing how soon the party starts.

“He wasn’t too happy to hear that I told you about Mr.Cat.” 

A smirk grows on Ken’s face, satisfied that he successfully irritated his nemesis. 

“You should get Barbie one.” You continue. “Her own pet.”

“Should I?” He ponders, “What would I get her? I don’t even know if she likes cats.”

“Barbie loves cats.” You assure him, surprised that he didn’t know that. “Or you could get her a dog.”

“…What about a horse?”

You laugh, nearly falling off of the ladder. 

“I don’t know if a horse is a reasonable pet.”

“Maybe she’ll be like-“

“Guys!” Diplomat Barbie interrupts him, running out of the house. “Midge is almost here!”

You nod, quickly climbing down. Ken sighs a breath of relief, putting a hand over his heart. He runs toward you as you silently wave him over, not knowing how to disassemble the ladder. 

The two of you frantically try to figure it out before Midge is at the door when abruptly, it begins to lean. It feels like it’s in slow motion as the ladder tips over and crashes down, echoing loudly. You and Ken look at each other horrified before you snap out of it, pushing him into the dream house.

All eyes are on you two as you re-enter the house. Without hesitation, you point to Ken. 

“Wha-“ He puts his hands up, “That wasn’t me it was her! She was trying to-“

“Shh!” Stereotypical Barbie interrupts him, motioning for both of you to get down. 

Joining everyone else, you and Ken duck down so that Midge won’t see you. You hear footsteps as Allan walks an unsuspecting Midge to the door.

As he pushes it open, President Barbie gives you all a quiet countdown from three. Then, all at once, you spring up.

“Congratulations on the second baby Allan and Midge!!” You all shout the rehearsed line.

Her jaw drops as confetti flies and celebratory shouts fill the room. A big smile grows on her face as you and Diplomat Barbie walk up to her.

“Congrats, Midge!” She offers up a muffin.

“If it’s a girl, I think you should name her Molly.” You add. 

Diplomat Barbie gasps, “That is such a good idea, Barbie.”

“Thanks, Barbie!” 

Midge takes a muffin as Stereotypical Barbie walks up. You retreat back into the kitchen as more people begin to walk to the dream house and chatter ensues. Author Barbie turns the pop music up and the party really feels like it’s in full swing.

“What do you think the baby’s name should be, Ken?” You ask as you grab a cookie from the platter.

He picks one up as well, taking a bite as he thinks for a moment. 

“What about…Dolphin?”

You almost choke on your cookie, “Dolphin?”

“Yea! Like the ones at the beach. Maybe the baby will be a surfer like me. I can already imagine it, ‘Dolphin Wave Shredder Barbie.’” He smiles as he envisions it.

You chuckle, “You’re silly, Ken.”

“Thanks, Barbie.” He innocently smiles wide.

You lean on the counter, taking another bite as a very familiar someone walks up to you.

“Hi, Ken!” You say, leaning in for a hug.

“Hi, Barbie!” Ken #2 squeezes you tight. 

As he lets go, he sees the bleach blonde Ken next to you and his grin quickly falls.

“Ken.” He clears his throat.

Beach Ken gives him a dry nod, both of them staring each other down.

“We were just discussing baby names.” You inform him. “You got any?�� 

“I think the baby’s name should be…Shark. like the ones at the beach.”

“Gosh, why do you guys like beach animal names so much?”

“What would you recommend, Barbie?” Ken #2 asks, grabbing a cookie for himself.

“I thought Molly would be a pretty name.” You shrug.

Ken #2’s jaw drops and you furrow your brows. As you look to Beach Ken for help you realize that his expression is the same.

“…What?”

“That. Is. A really good name, Barbie.” 

You laugh, the anxiety dissipating in your stomach.

“Oh!” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.” Beach Ken adds.

“Well we all know why you didn’t think of it.” Ken #2 says.

“What’s that supposed to mean you donation pile?”

“Really?” Ken #2 steps closer, getting into Beach Ken’s face. “That beach off offer still stands, man.”

“Oh really-”

“Okay!” You stop them, placing a hand on both of their chests and softly pushing back. “Let’s dance!”

Ken #2 lingers on Beach Ken as you grab his hand and swiftly pull him outside onto the dance floor. 

It quickly becomes crowded as Stereotypical Barbie and the rest of the girls join. The disco ball lighted dance floor is buzzing with excitement as President Barbie grabs both of your hands, pulling you away from Ken #2 to dance. 

“This is the best night ever!” You hear Doctor Barbie say behind you.

“This is the best night ever! And so was yesterday and tomorrow and every night until forever!” Stereotypical Barbie says as she dances with Midge.  

Smiles all around as hands are held and drinks are downed. You spin around your friends and wave your arms as the air seems to thicken with all of the fun you’re having. 

Stereotypical Barbie is in the middle of the dance floor as she announces her next thought,  “Do you guys ever think about dying?” 

The music scratchily stops and the dance floor pauses. Barbie is frozen in her spot as you all stare at her, worried looks on all of your faces…

…

"Goodnight Barbie's! I'm definitely not thinking about death anymore!" You hear ring out before your head hits the pillow and you doze off.

——

You and your friends stare in horror as you surround Stereotypical Barbie in the bleachers. Her heels are on the floor and the the m word has been thrown around.

And when you m word…you have to visit Weird Barbie.

“Promise me you guys won’t tell anyone. Not even other Barbies.” She asks as she stands up.

You all agree, attempting to hide the worried looks on your faces as you stare at her. She cautiously walks away from the beach, trying her best to stay on her toes. She looks back to see you all watching her.

“Act normal!” 

Clearing your throats, you all snap around to face forward. Although twirling your hair and looking around worriedly isn’t the most normal you can act, you’re trying your best. 

Athlete Barbie looks at you all from the volleyball court.

“…You guys want to play?”

“Yes!”

 The Barbie’s all jump at the opportunity to escape the thick tension, scrambling off of the bleachers and onto the volleyball court.

You cautiously stand, stiffly walking off of the bleachers and heading home. The big secret weighing on your shoulders is making you feel like Allan. It’s a much bigger secret than Mr.Cat.

As you speed walk across the sand, you bump into someone. As if you conjured him up, Allan stands there with a smile on his face.

“Hi, Barbie!” He says, his voice always just a little shaky and anxious.

“Hi, Allan.” You dryly smile before continuing to walk.

“Wait- What’s the hurry?” He jogs to catch up with you, getting a little worried himself. “Does it have something to do with Barbie? I saw you guys talking-“

“No!” You insist, “It has absolutely nothing to do with Barbie. I’m fine!” You walk away from him but he relentlessly keeps a pace with you.

“Barbie…you might be a worse liar than me.” He says, “And it’s making me a little anxious so could you please just spit it out?”

“What are you and Midge thinking of naming the baby?” You ask, desperately needing the change of topic. “Did she tell you about my suggestion?”

“No- Uh, we’re still discussing. We haven’t got the gender yet.”

“Really? We had a whole party. I’d think you’d have seen Doctor Barbie about it by now.” You pick up the pace.

“We plan to soon- Uh- You’re walking really fast.”

“Am I? I think I’m walking at a perfectly normal pace.”

“You’re really not, I’m practically running- What did Barbie tell you?”

“Fine!” You break, stopping not too far out from your dream house. “Barbie is malfunctioning.” You whisper, “And now she has to go up to the hills and see Weird Barbie in hopes that she can be fixed!” 

Allan draws in a long deep inhale, throwing a hand over his mouth. 

“Malfunctioning!?-“

“Shh!” You put your own hand over his mouth, “Allan, you can’t tell anyone. It’s a super secret. Beach Ken doesn’t even know.”

“Is she- Is she going to be okay? She’s supposed to be Perfect Barbie, she’s the Barbie. What about Barbieland? Are we coming to an end? How will the Ken’s survive? How will anyone survive? Are we all going to die-“ 

“Allan-“

“Surprise, Barbie!” Ken #2 swings your door open.

He looks at Allan oddly in a ‘This is us time,’ way and he reluctantly walks away, murmuring questions under his breath. You don’t have time to worry about Allan as you stare at Ken #2, or more so, what he’s holding. 

In his hands, a white Maine Coon with the fluffiest tail looks up at you. Only, this cats eyes are blue, and Mr.Cat’s eyes are yellow.

You gasp, reaching out as Ken #2 places the cat in your arms.

“Who’s this?” You ask, voice high as you pet the kitty.

“Meet Mrs.Cat.”

Your jaw hangs open, “You got me another cat, Ken?”

“Now Mr. Cat has a friend.” He smiles widely, guiding your waist as you walk inside.

You kiss the cat over and over before letting her down and heading toward the kitchen cabinet.

“Now leech Ken won’t know all of our secrets.” He says as you pull out the pink cat food and walk back around to Mrs. Cat.

“Hm.” You mindlessly agree, not wanting to always be in the middle of their bickering.

“Imagine the look on his face in 10 years when he realizes we’ve had another cat right under his nose. The little q-tip will never see it coming. He won’t even-“

“Ken.” You stop him as you finish pouring Mrs. Cat’s food.

“Yes?”

“Let’s not talk about Ken anymore.”

“Y- You don’t want to-“

“No.” You lean your elbows on the kitchen counter thats separating you and him, “I’d much rather talk about us.” 

“That works for me.” Ken shrugs, also leaning on the counter.

“We haven’t made lava cakes in a while, huh?”

“Last time was at Midge’s dance party.” 

“Jeez, that was before the news about the baby. We’re past due for some lava cakes. Maybe we can give some to Barbie, she’s going through a hard time.”

“What happened? Is she okay.”

You stop yourself as soon as you realize you’ve said too much.

“Oh- Oh yeah! She’s just a little under the weather.”

“Perfect Barbie? Under the weather?”

“She won’t be for long once she gets a taste of our cakes!” You deflect.

He smiles, soothing your worries that he’d be suspecting.

“You always have the best ideas, Barbie.”

He pecks you on the nose before you round the counter. Ken preheats the oven as you gather all of your routine supplies and ingredients to make the famous pink lava cakes. Soon after, you play soft pop music and get to work.

Not long into the cake making process, both of you are dough covered and laughter fills your dream house, the stress of Barbie’s situation fading to the back of your mind. 

…

“Goodbye, Ken!” You wave.

“Bye, Barbie! See you tomorrow!” 

“See ya!” 

The sun has gone down and the smell of warm cake whisps through Malibu. You stand at the palm tree and watch Ken #2 walk out of your sight, a smile on both of your faces. 

You’re full of happiness as you head back toward your house, your boots clicking beneath you. Opening the door, you slip inside. Turning back toward your doorway, you’re seconds away from closing it when you jump.

In front of you, as if he appeared out of thin air, a dripping wet and heaving Beach Ken leans on the frame.

“Ah!” You shout, slapping a hand over your mouth. “Ken, you scared me.” You now matching his heaving.

Getting a better look at him, you realize just how disheveled he really is. 

“A- Are you okay?” 

“I can’t-“  He struggles to get the words out, “I can’t find-“

“Do you need some water?”

He frantically nods, practically throwing himself in the door as you retreat to the kitchen. He hurls himself onto your couch, sprawling out as you fill up a glass. 

You jog into the living room, not fully being able to tell if that’s Ken or the corpse of Ken laying motionless on your sofa.

“Here.” You kneel at his feet, placing the water in his hands.

Ken chugs 2/3 of the glass before messily wiping his mouth and sitting up the best he can.

“I can’t find Barbie.” He finally spits out.

A breath of relief almost escapes you as the situation is much less frank than he made it out to be. Though, you should’ve expected such a reaction from someone like him.

“Oh,” You begin, “She’ll be away for a little. I can’t exactly tell you why but- Just trust me, She’s okay.”

You hope.

“What? Wait, Barbie you can’t just not tell me-“

“I’m sorry, Ken. I’m sworn to secrecy.” 

“But Barbie, it’s me. Secrets of hers are secrets of mine.” He differs, trying his best to calmly pull the secret out of you. 

“I wish I could, Ken.” You shrug, feeling that cornered feeling that you felt with Allan. 

“Okay well could you just-“ He deeply breathes, trying to calm himself, “Could you just, tell me where she is?”

You scoot back, “Ken…”

“Barbie, please!” He comes closer, desperately grabbing your hands. “I can’t sleep without knowing. It’s tearing me up inside, Barbie. Please.” 

“All I can say is that Barbie isn’t…”

“Isn’t?”

“Well, she hasn’t been…”

“Hasn’t been what?”

“Ken, she just-“

“Just what, Barbie! Please for the love of Mr. Cat spit it out!-“

“Stereotypical Barbie malfunctioned!” 

“Malfunctioned!?” He launches off of the couch, holding himself in terror.

“Ken, shh! Sit down!” You pull him. “I’m not supposed to tell you!” 

Ken looks at you in horror. He mirrors your breathing demonstration in attempts to calm himself down.

“What happened?” He shakily asks.

“Barbie’s routine was all off. She didn’t look how she usually does when she woke up, she fell off of her dream house; and worst of all, she had flat feet.” 

His eyes get wider and wider as if he’s seen a ghost, “H- How will she get fixed? Where did she go?” 

“Ken, she had to go to…Weird Barbie.” You whisper.

Once again, Ken throws himself off of the couch like a frightened cat. 

“No! Not Weird Barbie!” 

“Ken, please!” 

He brings his tone to a whisper shout, “Anything but Weird Barbie!” 

“She’s the only one who can fix her!” 

Ken places one hand on his hip and one on his forehead, pacing the floor as he works himself up again. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m just-“ He sits back on the couch, laying down, “I’m just going to lay down…”

You nod, standing and placing a pink bow shaped pillow under his head as he nearly passes out. Mrs. Cat cuddles beside him and you flip the lights off, leaving them alone in your living room.

——

“Bon Voyage to Reality and Good Luck Restoring the Membrane that Separates Our World from theirs so you don’t get Cellulite!” The crowd chants. 

Drink glasses clink as the going away party for Barbie climaxes. You stand beside Ken #2, a weight lifted off of your shoulders now that Barbie has revealed the big secret. 

You mindlessly look behind you and to your surprise, Beach Ken stands in your doorway, Mrs. Cat purring in his arms. You feel slightly bad for not waking him up earlier; Now he’s finding out about Barbie’s departure moments before she goes. 

Confused, he walks over to you. 

“What’s happening?”

Ken #2 looks at him.

“Barbie’s going to the real world!” You inform him.

“Wh-“

“Go! Go!” You push him through the ring of people and toward Barbie and her pink car.

A smile on your face, you take another sip of your drink before turning toward Ken #2. But when you do, you slowly lower your glass. He stares down at you with glossy eyes and a blank expression.

“You let him stay in your dream house?” He asks, his voice low and somber.

“Ken, I-“ 

“And you told him about Mrs. Cat?” 

Your heart sinks, the fact completely slipping your mind when she curled up to him last night.

“Oh, Ken.” You cup his face, “I’m so so sorry. I completely forgot it was a secret!” 

“You forgot…” He stares at you, stone faced.

“…Ken, I didn’t mean to-“

Before you can finish, he’s ripped your arms off of him. You follow quickly behind him as he storms into your dream house.

“Every time I think I’m enough for you…” He mumbles.

“Ken, you are enough for me!” You jog into the house. “You are!”

“I’m not!” He raises his voice, startling you. “I can’t be! I make cakes with you, I get you two cats, I cheer you on in volleyball!”

“And I appreciate you for all of those things, Ken! I do!” You try to soften your voice in attempts to bring his down. “I’m only so sympathetic for Ken because you’re so mean to him!”

“He’s mean to me!” 

“Well he’s only mean to you because Barbie’s mean to him!” 

“So now you’re sticking up for him!?” 

“No! I-“

“If I were Barbie I’d be mean to him too!”

“Ken, do not speak for what you’d do if you were Barbie, I do not want that image in my head!”  Tears fill your eyes, “What I want…is you, Ken. I want us.”

“No. You want him.” 

“Wha- Beach Ken? Ken, I would never. I don’t want anyone but you-“

“Then why does he get to stay in your dream house?!”

“He was having a hard time-“

“That’s what you said last time! You always give me excuses, Barbie!”

“Ken, I’m so sorry-“

“We’re supposed to be boyfriend girlfriend.” His voice drops and his tone is now eerily quiet. “Us, Barbie. I do everything right for you. I don’t know why you love him and not me.”

Tears run down his cheeks and you frown, never knowing how much your seemingly harmless actions were affecting him.

“Ken…” You near him, grabbing his hands by his side. “How can I make this up to you?” 

He shakes his head, pulling his hands from yours and wiping his tears.

“You can’t, Barbie.”

“What?” You ask just above a whisper, tears now filling your eyes as well.

“You can’t. I don’t want to be boyfriend girlfriend anymore.”  

He shakes his head at you, conflicted, before walking away, leaving your jaw dropped and your makeup tear stained.

“Come back here, Ken!” You shout. He continues walking toward the door. “You can’t break up with me because I break up with you!”

He turns back one last time, “Well I said it first, Barbie! We’re over!” He slams the door behind him.

You stand idly, staring at the door with your eyes puffy and your heart broken. Your mind blurred with a million thoughts, you round the couch and plop down on it. Your lip quivers as you pull your knees to your chest, burying your face in your arms. The familiar furry body curls up next to you, making you weep even harder.

Just as you’ve let yourself cry as hard as you wish, you hear the songy tune of your doorbell ringing. 

Not having the will to get up and check who it is, you mumble a crackly ‘come in.’ 

Please don’t be Ken, please don’t be Ken, please don’t be Ken.

You hear footsteps getting closer and closer before they’re right beside you. The couch dips as they sit in front of you. As you look up, you see almost a mirror image of you. Only, it’s Beach Ken.

He’s let go of Mrs. Cat but her fur still sticks to his shirt. His face is red and tear stained as he tucks his own knees to his chest, sniffling. 

“Me and Barbie aren’t girlfriend boyfriend anymore.” He reveals through held back sobs.

You shake your head, barely able to admit it.

“Neither are me and Ken.” Beach Ken cries harder, you can’t tell if it’s for you or for himself. “Why?” You ask.

“She said- She didn’t want me to go with her to the real world. She said we should…take a break.” He buries his head in his arms with that last part. 

“Maybe it’s a good thing, Ken.” You try to be there for him, “I’ve heard the real world isn’t a place we’d want to be.”

“Yea, but I’d go through it all for Barbie.” He shrugs, wiping his eyes. “What about you, why did that wannabe break up with you?” 

You sniff, “Because I showed you Mrs. Cat. She was supposed to be a secret.” 

Ken half laughs, “Jokes on him, I didn’t even know it was a different cat.” He sighs, “I really love cats.”

“I do too, Ken.” You agree. “I do too.”

“Maybe we’re just, two big malfunctions.”

You shake your head, drying your own tears, “Don’t be silly, Ken. I could never be a malfunction.”

“You’re right, Maybe I’m just a malfunction.”

“Well I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

“Not as perfect as Stereotypical Barbie.” He frowns.

“No one is as perfect as Stereotypical Barbie.”

He looks at you, both of your eyes bloodshot.

“I think you’re perfect the way you are too, Cowgirl Barbie.”

“Thanks, Beach Ken.”

Your gazes linger on each other for what seems like decades. Neither you or him mean to be moving your heads closer but by some anomaly, they’re nearing. Soon enough, your lips are locked…and neither of you pull away.

Once you do, you just sit and stare. Another 10 years seem to go by before either one of you speaks.

“…Did you hate that?” Ken asks.

“I did not hate that.”

“Good. Neither did I.” 

You sit in silence, wondering what to do next. Trying to worry less about what just happened.

“Does that make us…boyfriend girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know.” You think for a second. “I don’t think so?” 

His eyes wander, this clearly being too big of a topic for his Ken brain to handle. And quite frankly, it’s too big for your Barbie brain as well. 

“Would you want to watch a movie, Ken?” You abruptly offer. 

“Absolutely.”

You grin before handing him the tv remote and hopping off the couch. He channel surfs as you heat up two bags of popcorn, extra butter.

Together, for the rest of the night, Cowgirl Barbie, Beach Ken, Mr. Cat, and Mrs. Cat sit on the old pink couch watching the old pink tv and letting out old pink giggles.

The topic that is too big for either of their brains to handle will remain unhandled for as long as that may be. And if it were up to them, that would be for the rest of time. Staying like this, on the old pink couch, with two cats and two popcorn bags, was more than kenough for them. 

[wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee28374728]

Until Dawn character hcs

Sam:

Her music taste is crazy. Like the same playlist could have Beethoven, Iron Maiden, The BeeGees and Taylor Swift

Does aerobics in her pajamas

Doesn't know how to order at Starbucks (she just wanted a medium)

Had a dog walking business in high school

Knows how to surf

Will absolutely destroy you in most strategy based board games

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Chris:

Dog person AND cat dad

Far sighted

Huge history nerd, had a ww2 phase in high school that never completely went away

Guy at a camping trip who tells the ghost story that leads up to a joke

Knows exactly what to do when a woman is on her period

Nervous fidgets; bouncing leg, tapping on desk/table, etc

Knew where everything was in his school backpack at all times

Ashley:

Say it with me people: Only. Fucking. Child.

Will get mad at you for saying pumpkin spice latte is basic

Was a horse girl in middle school

Owns more scented candles than a bath and body works

Has gotten her fortune told at a carnival and taken it pretty seriously

Had braces

Smokes weed

Mike:

Track and field

Can't find the clit

Paid other people to do his homework

Wanted to be a firefighter when he was 6

Shockingly scared of bugs, used to make Emily kill them for him, but Jess won't do it

Can swim but doesn't like it

Was really close with Sam when they were younger, Sam is the one who introduced him to the group.

Jessica:

Used to be much happier and more chill before puberty, after which she felt pressure to live up to her looks

Her and Emily used to be super close and she misses it

Was a Frozen kid and still watches it a lot

Most definitely bi curious at least(Emily to blame)

Reads her horoscope but doesn't actually take it seriously

Emily:

Wayyyy to much Disney Channel in her early childhood, now loves drama

The middle of many siblings, acts the way she does for more attention

Was vegetarian at some point

Secretly misses being close with Jess, but makes sure no one knows

Needs rain sounds to sleep

Really wants Matt to stand up to her, this is why she's so hard on him

Matt:

Easily confused when women aren't completely direct

Probably smoked weed at least once, but quit doing it when he started doing sports

Nervous around babies(so small what if he panicked and dropped them)

Had an earring in one ear at one point, but his parents had him take it out and now the piercing is healed over

Can't tell the difference between nail polish shades

Josh:

Would fight god in the Denny's parking lot for someone if they gave him a hug

His bedroom/college dorm is covered in so many movie and band posters you can't see the wall anymore

Talks to cats like they're people

Confused rich(wait his is the only family with six cars??)

Jokes about sex and women, but if he saw a girl being taken advantage of he's gonna slap a frat bro

Owns a VHS tape player

Friggin s l e e p s in checkered shirts

Hannah:

Plant mom

Inspirational quotes on the wall

Best party is a book and a blanket

Nature documentaries

Josh's partner in crime

Loved dolls as a little kid, not Barbies, like baby dolls and porcelain dolls

Fairy lights in her bedroom

Loves music, Josh started buying her cassette tapes and now she collects them

Beth

Can you say LESBIAN?

Is never seen without her hat

Tried to stop Josh and Hannah from causing trouble, it never worked

Uggs and leggings

Smokes weed with Ashley

Her side of her and Hannah's bedroom is so much neater and cleaner

Total metalhead but no one knows bcs "she doesn't look it"

Dr. Hill:

Accidentally opened YouTube once while trying to find the news app

Can't work if the music has lyrics, it's too distracting

Might have a husband

Has such doctor handwriting that he can't hardly read it himself

Coffee addict

911 on speed dial(he's worried about all his patients)

The real Dr Hill is really nice, only the hallucination version is all threatening

Flamethrower guy:

Fucking loves soup

Hasn't bought clothes in years, and got them all secondhand

Has been off the mountain exactly twice

"When did kids get this dumb?"

Secretly stays in the lodge sometimes when no one is there bcs it's shelter and it's kinda fancy

Actually feels crazy guilty for not saving the twins

Was very happy to see Mike making friends with his wolves

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HCs: Stereotypical Barbie, Beach Ken, & Allan reacting to their S/O dressing up as them for Halloween

Note: Made this a little bit "meta" (and by that I mean the characters are aware that their outfits exist as marketable costumes in the Real World).

........

Stereotypical Barbie

Among the many things she learned (and is still learning) about the Real World, it's that the "glorification of rampant consumerism" went beyond her toyline and made a LOT of sense during Halloween.

She never expected to see her western, jumpsuit, and gingham outfits stuffed into bags when you both visit a Spirit Halloween store (although it was neat seeing an entire section dedicated to Barbie).

And she was especially surprised to learn that "Barbie and Ken" were gonna be one of the most popular couples' costumes this year (it's a little awkward for her since she's not with Ken anymore, but she won't complain much).

Speaking of costumes, she never understood why so many of them had to be bloody and scary--or cute, bloody, and scary all rolled into one.

She'll quickly gloss over them and hurry back to the cute costumes, often tugging you along with her before you can protest.

Compared to Barbieland, Halloween is...definitely celebrated differently here.

She still doesn't get why humans would wanna buy fake severed limbs for decorations, nor why they created such scary lifelike robots.

But she does a total 180 when a girl dressed up in her western outfit passes her by on Halloween night, saying "Hi Barbie" with such a big smile on her face.

Suddenly, she likes this holiday a little bit better, especially after seeing other ladies posting their own Barbie-inspired Halloween costumes on social media.

It's the scariest season, and yet there's so much joy going around as she realizes women are still coming together and lifting each other up!

Her happiness only grows when she arrives at your doorstep with candy, and you surprise her by dressing up as a Barbie yourself!

When she realizes you chose one of her outfits specifically, she can't stop gushing over you.

It's touching, especially since she wasn't really a "remarkable" Barbie doll; you literally could have picked any other doll's outfit to inspire your costume...

And yet out of all of them, you wanted to be her.

It genuinely made her feel special and so so loved.

Beach Ken

Like Barbie, he had very different expectations of Halloween.

He learned men were usually the ones who "protected" their partners from the scary stuff. So he tries his best.

Yet he's always the one curling up in your lap and/or hiding his face whenever a mild jumpscare happens in a movie.

But he loves loves loves dressing up for the holiday and decorating (although at times he forgets and will accidentally scare himself if he bumps into the decor--ie hanging bats).

He insists on being a cowboy this year (toy horse stick included) and reaaaally hopes you'll match with him.

Instead, you have a better idea and surprise him by your costume:

It's him!

Or more specifically one of his outfits (beach, dance party, rollerblade, western, kenough hoodie, etc.) that you either picked up online or handcrafted yourself over the course of several months/weeks.

Regardless, he's gonna cry when he realizes that you chose to dress up as him, of all people.

For the longest time, Ken looked towards other people for inspiration, especially when he first learned about the patriarchy.

But to learn that he's YOUR inspiration???

He feels like the luckiest man/doll alive.

Hell, you wore his outfit better than him somehow.

When you both are walking up and down the street, he's delighted seeing other people dressed in his western or rollerblade outfits (never mind them being so cheaply-made and mass produced), glad that the Real World's starting to appreciate Ken again.

But compared to you?

You were a ten.

Allan

He was sorta adamant towards Halloween, at first.

If anything, he worries for your sanity (and perhaps humanity's sanity as a whole) after you showed him some classic horror movies.

Poor guy is just baffled as to why anybody would like seeing that kind of stuff...and how it doesn't keep them wide awake at night.

But once you tell Allan about all the other customs and traditions, he partakes in them--although anything involving blood is a no-go for him.

On Halloween night, you both agree to just kick back and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.

His "costume" is the outfit he usually had on in Barbieland, but he's worried that it pales in comparison to whatever you're planning to wear.

All you said over text was that it's a "big surprise", so he's anxious to see it.

He's well aware of Barbie and Ken having their own costumes, and he tries not to sulk about there being no Allan costumes in this world.

Yet when he opens the door, he nearly drops the candy bowl upon seeing you wearing a similarly striped shirt, shorts, and sandals.

You decided to dress up as him!! As an Allan doll!!

Now he finally realizes why you've spent hours couped up in your room.

There's a good chance he's gonna get all weepy over this (and frantically claim that it's allergies when a few concerned trick-or-treaters come up to the door a minute later).

But now he takes back whatever he said about nobody in the Real World caring about Allan.

Because you cared.

[joons]

rewriting barbie (2023) from scratch, here we go.

the movie cribs mostly from toy story 4 (toys experience midlife crises when kids aren't playing with them), but i would have built it around toy story 2's themes of legacy and mint-in-box status. the barbies in barbieland are all confined to the roles given to them by mattel. she is dr. barbie because she has the doctor outfit. she is stereotypical barbie because she doesn't do anything beyond look pretty and cute. ken is beach ken because he's got sun-bleached hair. this is how adults look at barbies. this is how a toy collector looks at barbies.

maybe this barbieland is the visual representation of america ferrera's barbie collection, a very regimented, very beautiful, very adult way of recapturing her childhood. the barbies never leave their box. the ones that don't have boxes are placed very precisely on shelves, held up by stands with spotlights on them.

sasha does not relate to this at all. she has the same critiques of barbie as a status symbol and impossible standard for women that she has in the film.

but there's another, younger character, maybe a girl that sasha - like skipper! - is babysitting. she plays with barbies the way weird barbie is played with. when she gets into gloria's barbie stash, she starts seeing them as their own people who are not defined by the outfits they wear. this barbie is a machiavellian criminal who is trying to recruit other barbies to break into a bank. this barbie is more comfortable hanging out with the kens because she is bullied by the other barbies. this barbie is a shapeshifter who turns into a barbie horse or a barbie dog as the girl replaces her with another figurine.

things immediately start going wrong for the barbies in barbieland. this isn't correct! this is weird! weird barbie laughs and tells them how they can find out what's going wrong by entering the real world.

as barbie and ken find their way into the real world, sasha discovers what the girl is doing to her mom's collection. at first, she's afraid of gloria punishing her because she knows how much this means to her mom. but as she watches, she sees a funny way of reclaiming barbie for herself and poking the whole concept of barbie in the eye, and maybe her mom is lame for not seeing this. she starts to play with the girl too. now the barbies are fomenting class consciousness and talking about how the kens are repressing them. the barbies are talking about how degrading it is that they can't be weird or ugly or mean. the barbies start understanding the patriarchy.

"the patriarchy?" the girl says. "is that like how men are always riding horses? or how men are on all the money?"

sasha blinks. "yeah, sure."

"well, i like horses," the girl says. "that sounds fun. my kens are going to go to war with the barbies now."

"no!" sasha says. "the patriarchy isn't that simple ... it's ... the kens don't KNOW they're doing it, exactly. it's because they don't consider the barbies as real people. they don't think of them as people who can BE mean or ugly or weird."

"my barbies are already mean and ugly and weird. that's how i like them. i want the kens to be mean and ugly and weird too!"

"oh, it's on," says sasha. they play-act feminist theory and counterarguments through the lens of a generational gap, where the girl's innocent imagination sometimes sees how sasha's anger can also limit the way she sees barbie. barbie and ken can truly be anything. maybe we have to hold onto that part of ourselves even as we learn more about how women are limited in the real world, because how else are we going to make those stories real?

barbie and ken find gloria, and she talks about how much she loves barbie, but how much she'd like to see herself in them again, someone who is struggling to understand her daughter. the barbies in her collection are just something she dreams of being. they are not who she is. she is old and doesn't feel very pretty or accomplished. she is just trying to get by.

barbie sees her as beautiful, despite the fact that this barbie is connected to gloria's emotions and is starting to feel less than too.

ken is becoming connected to the girl playing with gloria's ken at home. he is beginning to see that he can be more too. the world seems designed for kens in a way he's never experienced before. he has to go tell the other kens about horses and money and the godfather! ("who showed this 6-year-old girl the godfather?" sasha wonders.)

probably ken and barbie don't make it back to barbieland, but the audience sees everything that's happening there, the way it starts to become an allegory for the gender wars, a fight for meaning and nuance in a world that makes kens and barbies exactly what they're made for and nothing else. but what WERE they made for? is this really what mattel or ruth handler wanted?

as barbie, ken, gloria, sasha, and the 6-year-old girl talk it out, they realize that they are all right, in a way. we do need aspirational figures to inspire us, but sometimes we need to see ourselves too. we don't need to accept how barbies are meant to be played with as the only option. we do have to accept help from other women who have longer histories with barbie and can see how she both frustrates and inspires our conception of ourselves. we do have to see ourselves through the eyes of our inner child who's a little bit weird and doesn't accept any limitations on themselves at all. we have to learn confidence in ourselves from young women, teenage women, angry women, sad women, mom women, older women, women who want to be more or less than what they've been told they have to be.

because the movie is so discursive without grounding it in the experience of human women, women with very different approaches to femininity and barbie as a tool, it comes off as didactic and uncritical of its own point-of-view, which is actually quite limiting in how it imagines barbies liberating themselves; by being told how impossible it is to be a woman, they accept that limitation and operate through stereotypes to fight the patriarchy, pretending to be stupid and playing with kens' egos and dating around in order to pit the kens against each other. in the context of the film, there is no sense that this ... isn't what women are really like, or that we really ought to be able to imagine more for ourselves than that, regardless of how "powerful" we think the patriarchy is. but if that aspect of the film had been grounded in a child's understanding of the anger she was hearing from older women, then we could easily see the flaws in that kind of response, while understanding why some women might really do that.

develop the human characters as people with widely diverse understandings of who they are in relation to society and in relation to dolls, give them each a way of seeing themselves and their struggles in the dolls, and understand why each of them would buy a doll or at least use the dolls to understand each other better, and the whole movie is much smarter, warmer, and more human. a barbie movie that's truly for everyone.

[msweebyness]

Weeby’s Random Thoughts #7 (The Barbie Series)

Weeby’s back on her randomness! Enjoy! @artzychic27 @imsparky2002

I absolutely adore the old Barbie movies, and I started thinking about the plots with different Miraculous characters! Two of my absolute favorites had good fits, so here they are!

Princess & the Pauper:

In a kingdom far away, an amazing thing happened on a cold Winter’s day. Two identical baby girls were born, Princess Marinette (Annalise) and Socqueline (Erika), a common pauper. Marinette grew up learning her royal duties, while Socqueline worked as a seamstress for the cruel Madam Audrey Bourgeois (Madam Carp). With their very different lives, they never met…until one fateful day. Marinette had been betrothed to Jessica (King Dominick), the wealthy young queen of a nearby kingdom, in the hopes of saving theirs from bankruptcy. However, the one she truly wishes to marry is her royal tutor and best friend, Adrien (Julian). Marinette and Socqueline meet while Marinette is exploring the village with Adrien and quickly become friends. However, Queen Sabine’s (Queen Genevieve) corrupt royal advisor, Bob Roth (Preminger) hatches a plan to abduct the princess to take over the kingdom. Adrien suspects Roth is up to something, so he enlists Socqueline to pretend to be the princess until he can find the real Marinette. However, things get complicated when Queen Jess comes to meet her bride, and she and Socqueline begin developing feelings for one another, all while Marinette is trying to escape and save her kingdom…

Magic of Pegasus:

In another far away kingdom, Princess Zoe (Annika) lives with her controlling parents, her domineering mother and her henpecked father, who forbid her from leaving the castle, without telling her why. On the night of her sixteenth birthday, Zoe sneaks out to go skating…only for the party to be crashed by Xavier (Wenlock), a powerful and evil sorcerer who demands the princess marry him. When Zoe refuses, he petrifies her subjects and threatens to leave them this way permanently unless she agrees to marry him. Suddenly, a Pegasus swoops down from the sky and carries Zoe away to safety. She learns that the flying horse can talk and that her name is Chloe (Brietta). She takes Zoe to the palace of the Cloud Queen, Dahlia. (Rayla) It’s here that Zoe learns that Chloe is actually her sister, and was cursed by Xavier to become a Pegasus because she also refused to marry him, years before Zoe was born. Dahlia tells Zoe that to defeat Xavier, she must build a Wand of Light, and Zoe is determined to do so, both to save her people and break the spell on her sister. On their quest, they meet a surly young blacksmith named Cosette (Aidan), who agrees to help them, with them and Zoe slowly falling in love in the process as the timer to save the kingdom runs out.

Leave your thoughts in the comments and reblogs! If you have ideas for other Barbie movies that can be adapted with Miraculous characters, let me know and write them in a reblog! I’d LOVE to see them!