#from a music production standpoint it is horrible

[ohsc]

✨💖Positivity chain! List 5 to 10 things that make you smile and explain why! Then send this to others to let them know they make you smile✨💖

hi my lovely!! <333 i love this so much i looooove yapping AKDJWKFKR

1. movies/tv!!!! this is a more broad listing but i could fill all 10 slots with movies and tv shows i love lmfao, but i did acting and media classes for 5 years, and i plan to go to university for film studies, so it’s a huge passion of mine from an analytical and productive standpoint, but at the same time i LOVE fandom and consuming myself in media and fanfiction and fanart and edits and AAAGH i love it all !!! some of my favourite movies are juno, labyrinth, baby driver, tangled, jordan peele’s movies, hereditary, misery, pitch perfect, little miss sunshine, and soooo many more and some of my favourite tv shows are doctor who, supernatural, the walking dead, the society, chuck, new girl, friends, the haunting of hill house/bly manor, and i can’t think of anymore but i could yap about movies and tv forever !!!

2. music!!!! i cant go a day without listening to music, i either have my headphones on (i do constantly out of the house) or i have a really good cd player (i collect cds!!) and speaker system in my bedroom. some of my favourite artists are taylor swift, paramore, metallica, chappell roan, ethel cain, jeff buckley, deftones, searows, norah jones, adam melchor, mitski, billie eilish, and soooo many more

3. writing!!! feels obvious to say coming from a fanfic writer but i love writing so much, i’ve loved creative writing my entire life, it was always my favourite part of english lessons at school, i’ve been writing fanfic literally since i was like 12/13, it’s so so so so much fun i love it i have so many fanfics i just write for myself (i don’t post them bc they’re oc centric even though they’re spn)!!

4. fandom!!! i already touched on it but fandom is just so much fun. like. posters on my bedroom wall, having physical merch/media, connecting with people through fandom, fan content, it’s just so much fun and i love the space i have here on tumblr

5. my friends!!! i’ve always been a pretty lonely person irl, i lost friend groups a few times because of horrible situations, and so this is specifically targeted to the mutuals i have on here, it’s such a joyful time coming on here and connecting with my friends whether we talk every day or once in a while i love you so much i’m so grateful for everybody i talk to and interact with on here <333

[jaz--hands]

tales from the fringes of reality episode two "the magician" thoughts :)

i don't think i mentioned it last week,, but the music is so good and i love it so much <3

but this episode oh my god

the constant description of the fringes being a decaying, crumbling place has me screaming. i want to know. i want to know so much. why is the keeper there, seemingly as the only inhabitant (besides minerva)? where is the council? why does it seem like the fringes is dying? why is the technology slowly crumbling? is it a product of the fringes crumbling or the other way around? is there something that should be going on, some role or job of the council, that isn't being done that would cause this? why now, after eons of existence? or has this been occurring since the beginning? why why why why why

i'm also so intrigued on the description of the realities being something opposite to solid, existing in a fluid state with each other, membranes and line still there to draw distinction of separateness, but connected enough to seep into each other, exchanging ideas, thoughts, stories, even people at times; just all realities connected and shifting around each other constantly

something that also has me obsessing is the keeper bringing up their past, or at least the lack of memories of one. the fact that the fringes defies memories created outside of them leading to the keeper only knowing what she has done while there... holy fuck. i get the impression that she doesn't think about the before often, if the way they get lost in thought, seemingly concerned with their lack of memory is anything to go by. or maybe he does think of it, and the wanderer is now privy to the conflict and confusion of it all. either way, what does it mean??? the keeper isn't a part of the council, but where they created like them? or did the keeper come from one of the realities, stumbling their way into the fringes or maybe being pulled there? he does keep saying that it hurts to be misplaced in reality, that it is confusing and horrible. and the keeper deals with the thousands upon thousands of people misplaced throughout reality so of course they would know that. but what if that knowledge also comes from something deeper inside them, something that the keeper doesn't even know the source of. just fuckkkk

anyway... on to thoughts about the rest of the episode hehe

the whole council lore dump oh my god it was so good. i am beyond excited to learn more about them and the world. the way they were born of magic, woven through and of it, the whole explanation of magic and science, science and magic, the way the different realities experience different facets of that energy, yet it runs through each reality, each person, regardless. just all of it

pine the world you've created here is so fucking interesting and beautiful and i am obsessed over what we've learned so far and i can not wait for more

and then the magician!! the magician!! the story of him gaining his name alasdair was so beautiful and amazing. just the idea of ancient beings connecting with humanity, learning and loving, not expecting to get so attached yet reveling in the connection formed, and experiencing so much sorrow when they must part ways, yet keeping something to hold on to, to cherish and remember about that connection,, it's bringing back so many doctor who emotions oh my god

i absolutely loved the story the keeper gave us,, and from a more technical standpoint,, the water soundscaping was so good, and i loved the effect it gave to this story about life and love and the magic that flows through that,, i also really like mel's voice hehe

i think this is all the thoughts i have for now, but oh my god i love this podcast so much and i can't wait for next week <3

[adamparrishdyke]

if i was ryan ross brendon urie would be in the ground right now

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Not So Serious

Prompt: ayoooo I’m like-obsessed with your writing style omg if your requests are open I’d love to see some good good logince hurt/comfort where Roman has a crush on Logan and gets this idea that he’s not serious enough for Logan to like him at all so Roman completely changes himself only for Logan to wonder where the man he’s in love with went.

Thanks for the prompt, babe!

Read on Ao3

Pairings: logince, as on the tin

Warnings: roman’s a little bit of a self-doubting and self-depricating boi but other than that none! we are happy now!

Word Count:  5340

Roman knows he’s the least important of the Light Sides. Or at the very least, the one that Thomas listens to the least.

 That’s okay.

 It’s not, not really, but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that most of it can be chalked up to the fact that he’s the least serious Side. He’s the dreamer, the fanatic, the one whose head is permanently in the clouds. He sings, he dances, he acts, he plays. And that’s his job! He’s Creativity, for Shakespeare’s sake, and if he’s not, well, what good is he?

 Well, he’s not much good when he is Creativity, but that’s beside the point.

 But Thomas needs him to be serious. Patton, for all his lightheartedness, knows how to be serious when the time calls for it. And behind all those jokes and smiles and corny lines that make all of them want to cringe a little, he’s talking about, arguably, the most serious thing there is. What’s right and what’s wrong. No matter how you slice it, that’s serious. And he’s Thomas’s heart! How can you not take that seriously?

 Then there’s Virgil, who Roman considers a Light Side. Virgil demands to be taken seriously. Not verbally, but come on, he’s Anxiety. Mental stuff is no joke, and they’ve had enough close calls to know that for sure. Virgil’s a snarky bastard, but he rarely says something he doesn’t actually mean. He keeps them safe when none of the others know what to do and honestly? That’s serious stuff. Virgil’s got enough on his plate.

 Then there’s Logan.

  Logan.

 Roman could go on for days about Logan. He won’t, but he could.

 Logan is Logic. Perhaps more than anything else, Thomas needs Logic. And Logan. Logan is always present, whether he’s there physically or not, and his voice is always going to be heard in the conversation sooner or later. He breaks down the biggest problems Roman’s ever seen until they’re manageable chunks, so much so that it’s ridiculous that they were ever big in the first place. He talks them through everything, slowly and surely. He makes everything look easy.

 And that’s all the more impressive because Roman knows it’s not.

 It’s not easy to do what Logan does. It’s not easy for Logan to always make himself heard. It’s not easy to carry the single brain cell in any given conversation.

 But he does and it’s wonderful.

 Logan is serious. His job is serious. That doesn’t mean he’s serious all the time, no, Roman’s seen him snap a quip faster than anything with a smirk on his face, and their bond over Crofter’s is legendary. And he knows the gleam that means Logan is immensely satisfied with whatever insult he’s come up with to shut Roman down. Even through the hurt of a new bruise forming on Thomas’s ego, he has to smile because it’s so satisfying to watch someone just be very good at something.

 He’s also incredible at calming them all down. He’s so sweet and kind and gentle in all the right ways and you will never convince Roman that Logan knows nothing about emotions. Come on, he’s the most intelligent Side, that extends to emotional intelligence too. The amount of times he’s been able to rip them out of some horrible spiral with just a simple touch or a word is too high for Roman to count. And he never asks for anything, he just does it. Because he’s good like that.

 Roman would be an utter, utter fool if he didn’t take Logan seriously. He doesn’t dare underestimate him, never again, not after that rap battle. He doesn’t try to speak over him, not once everyone’s actually paying attention and Logan’s clearly trying to say something. He listens, he tries, he takes him seriously.

 But sometimes Logan needs to not be serious! He can see when the strain gets a little too much and he needs to cut someone down to size.

 Well, here’s Roman!

 And yes, it’s worth it. It’s always worth it. Logan smiles and it’s like the sun comes out. Yes, that’s a cliché but we all know clichés are cliché for a reason. Logan smiles, the sun comes out, and Roman wants to bathe in it. Wants to sit and listen to Logan talk about anything just so he’ll keep smiling, keep talking, keep being Logan. Logan is serious, but serious isn’t always Logan.

 Isn’t always.

 Most of the time, though…

 Most of the time, it looks like Logan is thrilled to not have to stand next to Roman.

 Most of the time, it seems like every time Roman opens his mouth, Logan’s trying not to roll his eyes or is just listening out of politeness. And every time he pitches an idea, it seems like Logan’s getting just as much enjoyment out of leaving the meetings as he does when he doesn’t find anything wrong with it.

 Most of the time, that 0.5% hangs in the air between them like a moat.

 Roman doesn’t want that. Roman doesn’t want Logan to view him as a diametrically opposed foe, he doesn’t want to be Logan’s other side of the coin, he doesn’t want Logan to think he’s only worth 0.5% of a day.

 But 0.5% is all he gets if he stays Roman.

 It’s not big changes, nothing that would compromise Thomas, but they’re noticeable. At least he hopes so.

 He stops singing out loud in the common areas and instead has a headphone in when he wants to listen to something. He reads in the chair—sitting properly, not with his limbs haphazardly thrown about like he’s a newly made life form with no idea how muscles work—and keeps his comments to himself, written down in a notebook or in his head. He asks politely if Logan wants to come on a walk through the Imagination and conjures up something simple. A forest path, or a garden, or a small town road. None of the fantastical woods, magic castles, or treacherous mountains that he’s so fond of, because those are daydreams.

 He’s quieter outside of videos. Sure, he’s still as obnoxious as ever when the cameras are on, but they tend to exaggerate themselves when they’re being filmed anyway. So it won’t be too much of a surprise when he’s not like that when the cameras are off. He doesn’t speak as much—well, he doesn’t monologue as much. He speaks when spoken to, he’s as courteous as he knows how to be, and he tries to be serious. Even if his job is anything but.

 He could tell you it’s exhausting what he does for the videos and he’d rather not do it when he doesn’t have to.

 He could tell you it’s because it would be better for Thomas if they all got along well. 

 He could tell you it’s because he wants a healthier and more productive working relationship with Logan.

 He could tell you all of these things.

 Whether or not you believe him is up to you.

 …because Roman might be the actor, but he’s never been a particularly good liar. And deep down—not that deep down—we all know why he wants to be more serious, don’t we?

 Logan doesn’t like fantasy. Logan doesn’t like excessive noise. Logan doesn’t like someone who can’t be serious.

 Logan is kind and perfect and wonderful and smart and so many things.

 And above all, Logan is serious.

 Roman can work with that.

———————————————————————

“Hey, Specs! Do you have time to brainstorm?”

 “It will have to be quick, Roman, I’ve not much time to spare.”

 “Oh. That’s alright, then, we can do it later.”

 “Are you certain?”

 “Of course! I know how important your schedule is for you, please, don’t worry about it.”

 “Ah. I see. Well, thank you, Roman.”

 They never do end up having that brainstorm. Not alone.

 “Logan?”

 “Yes, Roman?”

 “Would it be alright if I played music? I’ll keep it low.”

 “…we can try, though I usually prefer working in silence.”

 “Oh, in that case, I’ll just go—“

 “Let’s try?”

 “If you’re sure.”

 Roman ends up getting his headphones after a few minutes.

 “Roman?”

 “Yes, my d—Logan?”

 “…were you going to say something else?”

 “No, no, I got lost in my head again, I thought you were…someone else.”

 “It may be worth practicing getting out of your head, Roman.”

 “I know.”

 He never quite manages, but he’s trying.

 “Ro—oh.”

 “Logan? Is something wrong?”

 “You’ve changed your room. Your…your paintings, your drawings, they’re…where did you put them?”

 “Oh, I got rid of them.”

 “Got rid of them?”

 “Yes. Surely you know how difficult it can be to work in a crowded space?”

 “…yes, I suppose I do.”

 Logan doesn’t comment on the fact that Roman’s room isn’t quite so red anymore either.

 “Roman?”

 “Yes?”

 “This idea, it seems…quite…realistic.”

 “Is that not the point, Sp—Logan?”

 “Well, yes, I suppose so.”

 “Besides, from a practical standpoint, we’re operating with a limited budget here. The scope of the videos has to be adjusted accordingly.”

 “Yes, I suppose you’re correct.”

 Logan doesn’t mention that it doesn’t necessarily feel like Roman’s idea.

 “Roman?”

 “Yes?”

 “Care to comment?”

 “Oh, no, I’m perfectly content.”

 “Are you certain?”

 “Of course.”

 Logan doesn’t ask again.

———————————————————————

Logan is really confused.

 Something’s wrong with Roman, that much is obvious, but he can’t figure out what. Roman’s been quiet lately, outside of the videos, but even in the videos, he’s been different. He’s not talking as much anymore, not going on his incredibly passionate rants that one can feel if they just listen hard enough. He’s not risen to the bait for weeks now, preferring instead to…talk. Or listen. His room is suspiciously absent of his paintings and drawings that make Logan want to sit and stare and lose track of time.

 And he’s stopped singing.

 That’s a definite indicator that something’s wrong.

 But he can’t figure out what.

 None of them are fighting; Patton and Virgil have noticed that something is different, certainly, but they don’t know—they can’t figure out exactly what. They would have told him if they had a disagreement with Roman, but they haven’t.

 Thomas isn’t being affected by it. In fact, he hasn’t noticed that anything’s wrong.

 And on the surface, Roman seems fine, but Logan knows better.

 He stops in front of his whiteboard, staring hard at the pieces of information he has written down.

  Roman is no longer singing or playing music out loud outside of his room.

Roman is changing the ideas that he brings to the brainstorming sessions. He claims they are meant to be more ‘practical’ and easier to budget.

Roman does not insist that we spend time with him anymore.

Roman is quiet and no longer engages in ‘banter’ exchanges with me.

Roman no longer brings me to the elaborate places in the Imagination.

Roman no longer gives me nicknames.

 Has…has Logan done something to Roman?

 He doesn’t think he has. He hasn’t—he hasn’t shot down any ideas lately, and certainly none so much as to trigger such a drastic change. There have been no arguments. There have been no big changes for Thomas.

 He finds himself twisting the cap of the marker back and forth as he focuses on the period at the end of the last sentence written. Perhaps…perhaps Roman is simply going through a rough patch? Occasionally the prince will lapse into a ‘grayer’ state, for lack of a better term, where he exhibits fewer of his energetic tendencies, but none have gone on for such a duration. Additionally, his behavior in videos has not altered as significantly as would indicate this as the cause.

  Perhaps I should try to talk to him about it.

 Logan nods sharply to himself and turns, walking out of his room toward Roman’s. The red door looms there, slightly ajar. Frowning, Logan raps on it gently with his knuckles.

 “Roman? May I come in?”

 No response.

 “Roman?” Logan eases the door open. “Roman?”

 No sign of Roman. The bathroom door isn’t locked, his laptop isn’t open, his phone is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Roman simply forgot to close his door all the way. Logan shuts it carefully and turns to head downstairs.

 “Virgil? Patton?”

 Virgil glances up from his phone. “What’s up, L?”

 Ignoring the little flutter in his chest at the first nickname he’s been called in a while, Logan adjusts his glasses and glances around. “Have you seen Roman?”

 Virgil shakes his head. “Pat? Have you?”

 “I think he said he was going into the Imagination but he’d be back for dinner?”

 Logan nods. “Thank you both.”

 “Logan?”

 “Yes?”

 “Can you, uh—“ Patton wrings his hands for a moment— “can you ask him what’s wrong for us?”

 “Princey’s been off for a while, we wanna know why but he won’t tell us.”

 Logan blinks. “Considering I was on my way to ask him the same thing, I take it he’s been as…hesitant to share any information with you as he has with me?”

 Their nods make something twist in his chest.

 “If he’s gonna tell anyone,” Virgil mutters as he turns to go, “it’ll be you.”

 Logan pauses. “Excuse me?”

 Virgil shrugs. “You’re his favorite, L. He thinks the sun shines outta your face.”

 Despite himself, Logan feels heat rush to his cheeks. “I’m quite sure you’re confusing me for Patton, Virgil.”

 “Oh, no, Princey’s got it bad f—“

 “Virgil!”

 “Oh come on,” Virgil groans, his head lolling on the couch as he turns to look at Patton, “you’ve noticed it too.”

 “But that’s not our secret to tell!”

 “Shit. Yeah, you’re right. Oops.”

 “Wait, wait,” Logan stammers, quickly trying to get a grasp of the situation, “you—Roman what?”

 Virgil shakes his head. “Nope. Sorry, Logan. I already fucked up. You’re gonna have to ask him. And hey, you were on your way to do just that!”

 Logan narrows his eyes but Virgil shrugs, undaunted. He turns and pointedly does not run up the stairs.

 The door to the Imagination is ajar. He takes a deep breath and pushes it open, expecting to meet some fantastical landscape, a village, or a castle, perhaps.

 He doesn’t expect to wander into what looks like the grand foyer of some Victorian mansion.

 The door shuts behind him with a thud that echoes gently around the room. His shoes aren’t particularly loud but his steps make resounding clicks as he walks through the halls. The walls are elegantly crafted, with artful splashes of color here and there. He comes to a grand staircase and has to swallow heavily at the richness of the wood under his fingers as he climbs slowly, slowly up.

 There’s something here, he decides, that’s not been here for a while. Not since he started accompanying Roman more often. He remembers the first time, where he’d wearily said he didn’t have the patience for an adventure and had been pleasantly surprised by Roman’s offer of a simple walk. Each walk after that had been lovely, truly, but it was always painfully obvious that it was in the Imagination.

 Now, though? Now the walls seem to curve about Logan as he walks, like petals of a flower curve about its center. The house seems to hold him, cradle him almost as he walks slowly through it. He can almost feel a gentle hand at the base of his spine, between his shoulder blades, under his chin. It takes no effort to keep walking, to discover more and more of this truly beautiful house, to look and look and look without fear of his eyes hurting or his head growing weary.

 It feels like Roman, he realizes with a giddy bubble in his chest, this is Roman’s work. Roman is here.

 That realization gives him enough courage to call out.

 “Roman? Roman, are you here?”

 “Logan?”

 “Roman!” He turns around, trying to trace the echoes to their source. “Where are you?”

 “I’m in the library, keep walking toward the back of the hall.”

 Logan’s steps beat out an eager pace as he begins to hurry towards Roman’s voice. He meets a wide set of mahogany doors and pushes them open, looking for—

 “Oh,” he murmurs as the doors swing wide, “oh, this is…magnificent.”

 If he were—well, if he were Roman, he’d compare this to the library the Beast gifts Belle. The shelves tower over his head, two full floors of books stretching out almost as far as he can see. As he looks closer, he realizes this is a theatre, with the seats replaced with shelves. At the back of the library stands the stage, converted into a seating area with as many plush couches and overstuffed armchairs as one could ever want. Curtains drape themselves across a vast window, golden sunlight streaming inside. And on the window seat, standing as the doors fly open, is Roman.

 “Roman, my goodness—“

 “Whoa, easy, Logan,” Roman chuckles, catching Logan carefully by the elbows as he rushes through the library, “you’ll knock yourself over at this rate.”

 “This is magnificent,” Logan manages, still looking around in awe—goodness, there are some books here that he’s only seen in passing— “how—how did you do this?”

 “I’ve always had it,” Roman says, guiding him to sit on the window seat and crouching in front of him, “it’s my library.”

 “This—this is yours?”

 Half of Roman’s mouth tugs up into that crooked smile. “Yeah, Logan. This is mine. You didn’t think I just let my books lie around, did you?”

 “But you—you—you’ve never shown this to me. To anyone.”

 The smile falters. “Well, no.”

 Logan takes a moment to actually look at Roman. Roman quirks his eyebrow as he notices the questioning gaze. His costume is a little less pristine than normal. There’s something slightly different about his expression. And his sword is nowhere to be seen.

 “May I—can I ask why not?”

 Roman smiles ruefully, glancing over Logan’s shoulder before dropping his gaze to the ground.

 “When I need to think,” he says after a moment, “or just…sit for a little, I come here.”

 He rests his hand on the seat next to Logan.

 “I sit right here, and I think. I look outside into the garden. I watch the clouds. Or I stare at the shelves, and think about the books.”

 He gestures behind him.

 “Sometimes I’ll see people bustling through them, or characters diving in between pages.” The smile becomes a touch more wistful. “Or I’ll hear water rushing, or wind howling.”

 He looks back. Logan’s mouth drops open at the openness of Roman’s expression.

 “But mostly,” he finishes in a near whisper, “I just sit. And think. Because I can.”

 “…this is your space,” Logan mumbles as he puts it together, “that’s…that’s why you haven’t shown anyone.”

 Roman nods.

 Logan should apologize. He should apologize and leave. He should never have expected that this would be alright.

 But the thought of leaving this library, this house, Roman feels…so, so heavy.

 “It’s alright, Logan,” Roman says patiently, sitting on the floor, “what did you need? Am I late for dinner?”

 He shakes himself, sternly reminding his brain that he’s being rude now. “No, no, nothing of the sort, I simply needed to find you.”

 Roman spreads his arms wide. “Well, you found me. Congratulations.”

 It’s so close to the banter Logan misses that he finds himself smiling. “Thank you. Shall I assume to claim my prize now, then?”

 “Mm, and what prize would that be?”

 Roman blinks up at him expectantly when he doesn’t answer right away. There are several questions on the tip of his tongue and they war with each other.

  What’s wrong?

Are you alright?

  Did something happen?

  The others and I have noticed changes in your behavior, could you explain them?

  Did I do something wrong?

  Can I stay here?

  What did Virgil almost tell me?

 “I’ve lost something,” Logan blurts instead, swallowing the lump in his throat when Roman blinks again, startled, “and I need you to help me find it.”

 “Oh. Well, that should be easy enough. Where did you last see it?”

 “Wait!”

 Logan catches a startled Roman by his sleeve as he’s in the middle of getting up. He sits back down slowly, still staring at Logan.

 “I don’t know where I lost it,” he says, because it’s the truth. Even for all his immaculate time-keeping, he can’t pinpoint the moment he lost Roman.

 “That does make it more difficult,” Roman muses, tapping his fingers on his chin, “well, can you tell me what it is? Maybe I’ve seen it.”

  I’m sure you have.

 Logan takes a deep breath.

 “I didn’t realize it was gone, at first,��� he begins, “only that it—something changed. It was quieter. Rooms felt less…I believe ‘alive’ is the only word I can use to adequately describe it.”

 Roman catches on to the fact he’s speaking about something abstract quickly. Though, of course he did, he’s very intelligent. He sits up a little straighter and takes Logan’s hand in both of his. That in itself is enough to make Logan swallow again.

 “It was more difficult to continue working,” he says after a moment, looking at the ground, “because I didn’t know what was missing. I didn’t know whether the fault lay with myself or with Thomas or how to go about fixing it. I couldn’t think of anything.”

 Roman makes a noise of sympathy, squeezing Logan’s hand.

 “Of course, once I realized it was missing, I did all I could to find it.” He adjusts his glasses. “I gathered all the information I could to see what had gone wrong.”

 “And,” Roman prompts gently, “what did you find?”

 “It’s not in my room. It’s not in the kitchen. It’s not in the Imagination, or at least it wasn’t when I was there.”

 Logan closes his eyes.

 “It doesn’t make me fight back a smile every time I see it, because I am only concerned. It doesn’t make me look forward to seeing it, because it doesn’t seem to be happy to see me. It doesn’t make me want to say how important it is to me, because it doesn’t—“

 “…doesn’t what, Logan?”

 “…it doesn’t even give me a nickname anymore.”

 Roman freezes.

 Logan opens his eyes and looks at Roman, seeing his face turn pale.

 “I’ve lost the one I love,” he confesses, “and I don’t know where he’s gone.”

———————————————————————

Roman’s heart stops.

 Logan—Logan—L—

 Logan loves him?

 Logan loves him?

 “Please,” Logan says in that soft, soft voice that makes Roman want to combust, “can you help me find him?”

 “Wait, wait, Logan, you—you what?”

 Logan shifts forward, cupping Roman’s hand. “Where did you go, Roman? Something happened, you left.”

 “N-no, Logan, I didn’t go anywhere.”

 “You did,” he corrects, “you…you’ve been different. You’ve been quieter, you haven’t taken me on any adventures—“

 “I’ve taken you into the Imagination!”

 “—and you stopped singing,” Logan finishes. Roman’s chest throbs with the way Logan’s voice cracks on the last word. “You left, Roman, where did you go?”

 “I—I was trying to—to—“ Roman swallows heavily. “Wait, you love me?”

 Logan blinks, tilting his head. “Of course, yes, I love you, Roman.”

 Roman’s face flares. “You can’t—you can’t just say that, Logan.”

 “Why not?”

 “I’ll believe you. I’ll—“ the urge to bury his face in his hands burns but he can’t, can’t pull away from Logan—“I’ll believe you.”

 Logan hums. “And why shouldn’t you believe me?”

 An incredulous laugh forces its way out of his throat. “Because you can’t love me.”

 He slams his eyes shut as Logan starts to move away. He’s ruined it. He’s ruined so much of his hard work. He’s destroyed it. He’s hurt Logan. How could he?

 “And why can’t I love you, Roman?”

 He laughs again, though this one might be technically considered a sob. “Because I’m loud! I’m obnoxious, I want to spend all my time daydreaming, I’m so out of touch with the real world, I never want to be serious, I’m—I’m—“

 “Passionate,” Logan interrupts quietly, something still cupping his hand, “optimistic. Hardworking.”

 Roman huffs. “That’s not special.”

 “Intelligent.”

 Now he does laugh. “Not compared to you.”

 Logan’s stifled noise is enough to make him open his eyes. He frowns up at Logan. He looks…heartbroken.

 “Roman,” he murmurs, “do you honestly believe that?”

 He squirms uncomfortably on the floor. “…it’s not like it isn’t obvious. El principe es estupido.”

 “It’s far from obvious, Roman,” Logan insists, “why do you think I enjoy our verbal sparring so much?”

 “You what?”

 “I respect and admire your intelligence. You’re—well, not to insult the others when they’re not here to defend themselves, but you’re the only one who really keeps up with me.” Logan smiles at him. He smiles at him. “And you’re kind, Roman. Relentlessly so, sometimes.”

 Roman can only gape at him.

 “Don’t think I haven’t noticed everything you do,” Logan chides gently, “I do notice. And I am so thankful for it. But this…” He gives Roman’s hand another squeeze. “This I don’t understand. Where did you go, Roman?”

 “I—I…” Roman swallows. “I thought I was doing it for you.”

 “For me?”

 “Y-you like serious things! You don’t want to be seen as a joke and I’ve never seen you as a joke, Logan, you have to believe me, and I thought that—that I—“

 “Roman—“

 “I make fun of the things I love, Logan!” Roman’s throat almost aches from the strain of saying it out loud. “And you—you don’t like it when we’re not serious and I’m not serious so I—I thought if I—if—if—“

 “You changed so I would…love you?”

 Roman shakes his head shamefully. “So you would tolerate me.”

 “Oh, little star—“

 Roman lets out an oof as Logan tugs him forward, his knees hitting the ground roughly as he pulls Roman into a hug. He’s warm, he’s so warm and so Logan…the frames of his glasses are cool against the side of Roman’s face, the knot of his tie pressing into the hollow of his chest. And he’s being so sweet, so tender as he holds Roman on the floor of the library.

 Roman clutches him back. It’s been agony, not being able to touch him, not even the barest brush of shoulders or knocking their elbows together. But now Logan is here and he can have this.

 “I don’t want serious,” he hears Logan murmur, “not from you. Alright, sometimes, yes, I want you to listen but never to be that serious. You’re—you’re you, Roman. That’s what I want.”

 Oh.

  Oh.

 He laughs as the tears start to fall onto Logan’s collar. “You found me, Logan.”

 Logan just gives him a squeeze. “I did, little star.”

 Oh, Roman was not prepared for that. Instead, he can hear Logan chuckle as he tenses for a moment.

 “No?”

 “Yes,” Roman blurts out quickly, fumbling with his clumsy tongue, “yes. So much yes.”

 “Yes, it is then, little star.”

 He hums contentedly, burying his nose in the crook of Logan’s neck. “You found me,” he whispers, rocking them back and forth, “and I found you.”

 “Yes, little star, you found me.” Logan pulls back to cup his face, a comforting noise escaping him at the evidence of drying tears. “And now…please, don’t leave me?”

 “Never, Logan,” he swears, “never again.”

 He gets to see that wonderful soft glow on Logan’s face for a moment longer before that gleam—oh, that wonderful gleam—comes back as he arches an eyebrow.

 “No? Then why am I still ‘Logan?’”

 Oh. So that’s how this is going to go, hmm? Roman lets a little more darkness slip into his smirk than he normally would. It only grows wider as Logan looks a little surprised.

“My dearest darling nerd,” he purrs, “if you wanted me to lavish you with pet names, you know you need only ask.”

 “That is not what I meant,” Logan says firmly, undone a little by the blush now fanning his cheeks.

 Roman chuckles. “Oh, what’s wrong, my sweet little pi, is this not what you wanted?”

 “R-Roman!”

 “Goodness, Logan, your face is so warm.” Roman’s arms come up to hug him as he buries his face in his neck. “What, you can dish it out but you can’t take it?”

 “You’re one to talk,” comes the slightly muffled reply, “you were blushing from my pet name too.”

 “Ah, yes, how could I forget? ‘Little star,’ well…” Roman cups the back of Logan’s neck and brings that darling face back out to smile at. “If I’m the star, then you must be the whole galaxy.”

 Logan tries to frown. Bless him, he tries, but he’s so flustered that it turns into this adorable pout as he leans back to get up.

 “Oh, no, no, no,” Roman chuckles, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around him, “you stay right here in my lap.”

 “Roman!”

 “What?” He tilts his head. “Can you think of anywhere better to be than right here, in my lap…with me?”

 He can’t help the note of vulnerability that slips in at the end. Maybe Logan doesn’t want this, maybe he is too much, maybe he just ruined it…

 “No,” Logan murmurs after a moment, “I guess I can’t.”

 And really, it is marvelous, there on the floor, golden sunlight streaming over them, in the library, surrounded by the quiet shelves and safe hallways of the house.

———————————————————————

“I have to ask,” Roman says, giving Logan a little shake after a moment, “how did you…?”

 “Find out?”

 “Mm.”

 “Well…” Logan toys with Roman’s collar. “I was coming to ask you about it anyway, but Virgil—“

 “Virgil?” Roman raises an eyebrow. “He said something now, did he?”

 Logan squints at him. “…why do I have a feeling there’s more to this than you’re telling me?”

 Roman shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter, not really.”

 “Now that I don’t believe for an instant.”

 “It got me my Logan,” Roman says softly, leaning forward to rub their noses together, “didn’t it?”

 “…well yes, I suppose it did.”

 Roman hums contentedly, cuddling into Logan like a lazy cat, sprawled out in the sunlight to nuzzle its kitten. A…surprisingly sweet image. The Imagination—Roman’s Imagination must be affecting him.

 There are worse fates.

 “But I can’t imagine,” he says after a moment, “that a prince such as yourself can allow such a slight?”

 The grin on Roman’s face is priceless.

 “Virgil,” Roman sings as they fling open the door to the rest of the Mindscape, and goodness Logan can’t tell you how much he’s missed that voice— “I have a question for you!”

 Logan hears muffled cursing coming from the living room.

 “What’s up, Princey?”

 “Well our dearest Specs here just told me something very interesting—“ he winks at Logan— “and I would love to hear your side of the story.”

 “Oh, uh, really? Well, that’s cool. On an unrelated note, I’m gonna be in my room for the foreseeable future.”

 “Hmmm…not if I get there before you!”

 “Shit!”

 “My darling,” Roman says softly, pressing a kiss to the back of Logan’s hand, “will you excuse me one moment, please?”

 And what is Logan supposed to do but agree? Roman is back.

 “I’ll be with you shortly.”

 Roman tears off down the hallway after Virgil, their shouts filling the Mindscape once more.

General Taglist:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl  @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite  @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme  @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra  @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja  @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @theaceofcrows @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner

[sunflowerheartsandstarryskies]

The Red Viper and the Honeybee - Oberyn Martell x Bridgerton AU

Bridgerton AU!Oberyn Martell x Fem!Bridgerton!reader

Author’s Note: I fell down the rabbit hole of Oberyn content and I watched Bridgerton on Netflix, it is terrible from a historical standpoint but from a story standpoint it is fantastic. So that is why I am labelling this as Bridgerton as its own au instead of a historical au and also I am putting you (reader insert) as the diamond of the season or Daphne Bridgerton, but trying to be as inclusive as I can be with your skin, hair, and body type (by not putting my bias involved). Also I will be basing a lot of etiquette and phrasing from the regency and romantic era. I hope that clears things up for you.

TL:DR: Bridgerton horrible for historical fiction but fantastic for story inspiration. Bridgerton is basically the Regency Era!Lite with a dash of modernism in it. Also you are 21-23 years old and Oberyn is mid 20s-30s years old in this fic.

Warnings: Men being pretentious, some misogyny happening, society having expectations for  women, historical misogyny in general (please take care of yourselves before and after reading this if these sort of things can hurt you, I love you all), Game of Throne characters being OOC (I mean like all of them, sorry)

Taglist: @ ilikechocolatemilkh , @janelongxox Thank you for being interested in this mess enough to be tagged in this

Word Count: almost 10k (this got over me, yikes)

---------------------------------------------------------

For a man to capture my whole heart and attention, they must treat me as their equal and partner in life, for if they don’t then I would be a fool for yearning for them in the first place. My mother was the one to instill these ideals in me since I was young and wants me to find a partner that will be my best friend in all that I am and the same for him.

I debuted in the social market of Westeros rather late in the standards of high society but my father recently passed away so it was overlooked in that sense as my family was given a grieving period to be allowed to be secluded from the world to grieve properly. My father and mother are my favorite people in the world who I adore as well as my younger sisters and older brothers. I am the eldest daughter whom I’ve been giving responsibility to secure finances with suitors, but my family (may the gods bless them so) will forever love me even as a spinster if I never find one in my lifetime.

My homeland is Honeyholt and my mother is the Duchess of Honeyholt, my family is in a unique standing with the high society of Westeros so our family may seem odd and quirky but society is keen to overlook that factor because of our business. Honeyholt prides itself on being fair and equal to all members of their county and business, which lends itself to the citizens and workers of Honeyholt giving us high praise for our practices. 

Our land and business is best known for our signature honey wine, brandy, and teas specifically floral teas are our best ones. The Bridgerton name is branded with pride on each bottle and jar of our products. 

My older brother, Anthony, is being groomed to take the title of Marquis of Honeyholt. He is very protective over me whenever we go out to social dances, so even if I wanted to find a suitor he yanks me away from them to dance with him or my other brothers Colin and Benedict. It is exhausting between the three of them, Benedict is just as protective as Anthony, but less overbearing, and Colin is much like a guard dog, silent but ready to bite the hands off any man who comes near me. My two allies against them are my younger sisters Eloise and Hyacinth, when I want to dance with a young man they both cause mischief on my brothers before they intervene. 

My family got invited to a ball out in the Westerlands near the House of Lannister, and that meant great news to my mother who was excited to show me off in the Westeros season of dancing. Which hopefully by the good graces of the gods that I will be allowed to find a potential suitor. This ball would be a formal social event to all that attend, and my good friend and mentor Lord Tyrion Lannister promised me to make an appearance there.

---------------------------------------------------

We all got dressed in beautiful formal wear, with our signature bee insignia placed somewhere on our persons. My brothers have it embroidered on their collars, while my sisters and I have bee hair pins in our hair styles. The bees do a lot of hardwork in our county and business, so we wear it proudly on our coat of arms and whenever we go out to social events. It is a sign of a united front to us, and that family is of the utmost importance to all of us.

We are all in the carriage riding to the Lannister mansion’s assembly room that was used for such occasions. 

“I hope you are not looking forward to the company of Jaime Lannister, this evening? You know how much I oppose his character,” Colin starts.

“I agree with Colin on this one, you know of the gossip that is surrounding him dear sister,” Benedict states.

“Yes dear brothers, if there is one thing in this family that you have taught me to be is to be wary of all of the Lannisters. Except for my dear friend Lord Tyrion I hope,” I say. 

“Not to mention the salacious scandal that the Kingslayer has with his oh so dear sister, Lady Ceresei,” Eloise mocks. Me and Hyacinth snort behind our hands in response. 

“That is exactly the reason why we don’t want you to hang out too much around ‘The Kingslayer’’ Anthony spits out the last part.

“Then why are we even going to visit the Lannisters then if all we are going to be doing is to bicker around them?” I inquire.

“Because there are some rather interesting bachelors that have promised their arrivals in Westeros that I am certain will be a great match for you,” my mother states reaching over to squeeze my hands in assurance.

“I hope you’re right mother,” I say, “But let’s hope my brothers won’t do too much meddling then.” 

“Oh I’ll make sure they don’t darling,” mother soothes me leaving my brothers with gaping mouths trying to argue back but was cut short with our arrival at Lannisters’ ballroom.

We all made our ways out of the carriage with my mother and I being escorted by my brothers. As we entered the ballroom my ears were immediately greeted with beautiful orchestral music played by the band that the Lannisters hired were quite skillful. Benedict immediately led me into the first dance of the night so I was too occupied to catch a glance at all the handsome men in attendance. 

“Thank you for the dance, dear brother” I remarked with a curtsy. 

Benedict returns the curtsy with a bow as he says, “my pleasure”

Colin, Eloise, and Hyacinth comes over to us with Hyacinth saying, “Do you see who is in attendance (Y/N)?” 

“No, who?” I ask as I immediately glance around the room. As soon as I said it my brothers soon said, “On guard,” and immediately tried to disperse themselves.

“Too late, I already caught your eye,” a woman said. I turn to fully look and it’s the Lady of the House, Duchess Joanna of Westerlands.

I curtsied at her attention as did the rest of my siblings as we say, “Lady Joanna”

“Ah Lady (Y/N) Bridgerton I was hoping that you would come to visit me again. You know my dear son Tyrion remarks about how intelligent you are,” Duchess Joanna states.

“Your Grace flatters me, I merely have a good teacher is all,” you say.

“I wish you were as flattering to me to my face, my lovely student,” I hear a familiar voice say to me. Tyrion soon appears in my vision right next to his mother. 

“Is there a reason why I haven’t seen you on the dance floor, for I have heard and seen you are the brightest star this season,” Lady Joanna states.

Benedict stands a bit straighter as he hears her say that and states, “All in good time, Lady Joanna. One mustn't rush these matters.”

She raises her eyebrows at him then takes her leave away from them, as I take my leave to walk with my friend Lord Tyrion. 

“Oh dear me, (Y/N) you always seem to have your hands full with your guard dogs don’t you?” Tyrion teases me. 

I huffed as I reached for a glass of champagne, “Don’t I know it. I know my family says they’ll love me forever if I never get married but what of the rest of the world? I hardly wouldn’t want my family to be shunned simply because I am not desirable.”

“Now who would say that my dear, hmm? You are quite desirable simply on your looks alone, but coupled with that of your smart wits and sharp intelligence, you stand on equal footing with any man who even dares to look at you,” Tyrion expressed. 

“Oh if only that were true, but no man in today’s society would hardly want or look for a woman who can stand to attest to what he or his business has to say. Merely look at the fact that my brothers won’t even let any bachelors come near ten feet of me let alone get a word in,” I argued. 

“That I do agree with you on the count of your brothers, but to the argument of your abilities to be undesirable to men I do have to argue on that for if I was even close to an eligible match for you, you know I would propose to you but if a man comes to know that you are knowledgeable on all the great poets of our age and the classics, but are also quite fluent in the language of economics and business as well as just the languages of the Old Tongue, Dothraki and both levels of Valyrian my word all the men would be rushing to you as we speak. Also do not ever volley my teaching like that again, I am quite proud of what you have accomplished in my stead,” Tyrion lectured.

“I-Tyrion, thank you for those kind words, I will take into account my skills, because it does seem I need to seriously improve on my self-confidence so to speak,” I agreed.

We then fell into a comfortable silence of us standing on the edge of the dance floor with us sipping on the glasses of champagne that come to greet us, when a handsome man comes into view of me.

“Ah Duke of Dorne, what a surprise it is to see you after all this time,” Lannister greets the handsome stranger.

“It is good to see you again, old friend. I wanted to see how you have been holding up, seeing as your siblings have come back from the big city,” the Duke of Dorne says. 

“Ah well you know how they are, I’ve been trying to avoid their company as much as possible so I have been keeping busy with my studies along with my teachings,” Tyrion responds. 

“I’ve heard that you’ve become quite the scholar. I assume this is one of your students then?” the Duke of Dorne asks, glancing at me. 

My face immediately feels like it’s on fire just from his gaze alone. What is wrong with me? Has it really been so long that I forgot what a handsome man’s gaze felt like?

“Ah! This my dear friend and student, Lady (Y/N) Bridgerton of Honeyholt, Lady (Y/N) this is an old friend and classmate Duke Oberyn Martell of Dorne,” Tyrion introduces us both. 

“A pleasure to meet you,” Duke Oberyn says as he takes my hand and kisses it. 

I curtsy in return as I say, “and I you, Duke”

“May I have a dance with you?” Duke Oberyn offers. 

“It would be my pleasure.” I accepted as I let him guide me to the dance floor.

A new song started to play as we entered the dance scene, and I was immediately taken by the beauty of the music and the strength that hides beneath the Duke’s clothes as he falls into the role of taking the lead in the dance. With his lead, dancing felt as natural as breathing to me, and I got so taken by the charm of his onyx eyes and the scruffy facial hair as he gracefully takes the lead on the waltz we started together.

This particular waltz I knew so well by now because of my brothers and my own learning of it, but to dance it with him, it was enchanting and I became mesmerized with our own beating hearts becoming intertwined with each other and the music. 

Then as soon as the dance started, it ended and we both dutifully took our bows and thanked each other for the dance as we began to walk back to our places. As soon as we do so, the Duke is still standing by me when my brothers almost tackle me with how fast they were coming towards me.

“What are you doing near my sister?” Benedict demands. 

“You are not to be near our sister, Viper,” Colin reprimands.

I jump between the Duke and my brothers as I object, “What is the meaning of this, brothers? The Duke of Dorne had graciously asked for my hand in a dance and I accepted, had I known that you would be so up in arms on me wanting to dance I would’ve looked for him earlier.”

The Duke turned his head to try to hide his smirk at my comment but I saw it at the corner of my eye. 

“You see dear sister, he has quite the reputation of being a rake around the molly houses of Westeros,” Benedict explains. (Molly houses is a word for brothels in regency era which has both male and female prostitutes, and rake is basically a womanizer used for male protagonists in romance novels of the time)

“What is so wrong with that? From what I’ve heard our dear Kingslayer has been rumored around molly as well, and what is the point of this information I doubt he has any intention on taking me there,” I rebutted. 

“I thank you for your kind argument for my reputation but I must apologize to your brothers here because they think that I have an intention on taking your flower before courting you. I apologize to you both, however I will not apologize to the fact that I am very much looking forward to courting you in the near future. From what I’ve heard from Lord Tyrion and now your brothers, it seems you are quite the Incomparable,” the Duke states. 

“You flatter me sir,” I bow my head to him.

“I am very much looking forward to seeing you in the near future Lady Bridgerton, please think of my proposal?” the Duke insists as he takes my hand and kisses the palm of my hand as a way of goodbye. 

I blushed at the small gesture of his all the way back home. However as soon as we got to our home, things were soon broken into chaos with my brothers surrounding me asking how I managed to get the attention of the Red Viper of Dorne.

He was apparently quite well known in the boxing circles of both the Westerlands and Dorne, but equally well known was his pernicious nature with that of the ladies of the night surrounding Westeros and the Reach. 

“I don’t know what you all are rambling about. Have you not opened your eyes when the two were dancing? The Duke and her were very much smitten with each other and were not looking at anyone else when in each other’s company. Also I can think of many ill-fitting matches that could be worse then for your dear sister to be paired with a duke,” my mother rebutted. 

I grinned in victory at hearing my mother’s words knowing we won that round against my protective brothers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days laters we were in the drawing room with me practicing my piano skills, and everyone was casually doing their own activities. Hyacinth was reading her favorite book, Eloise was writing, Benedict and Colin was playing chess, and mother was listening to me playing. Anthony was in the study deeper in the estate most likely taking care of the finances of the business and estate. 

A butler came in and announced, “Lady (Y/N) we have a bouquet here for you.”

I jumped out of my seat at the piano along with my mother, we both exchanged excited looks at who could’ve brought me flowers. What arrived was a beautiful large arrangement of red, pink and orange honeysuckles, tulips, and bachelor’s buttons. They were beautiful, I gasped when they were placed on an end table in the drawing room, they were even placed in a beautiful crystal vase. I went towards them and smelled them, when I realized what they all meant: declaration of love and hope. 

As soon as I was taking in the splendor of the bouquet I saw the letter placed next to the vase. I opened it and the letter read:

To the lovely Lady (Y/N) Bridgerton of Honeyholt,

You have quite literally and wholeheartedly enraptured my heart and mind with thoughts of you. I know it may seem like I am making haste with putting my thoughts in letters and ink, but I hope you may like that sort of thing. I am hopeful to see you in the dance of the season to arrive and for you to reserve a dance for me if you so can. I hope your brothers may allow me to accompany you in this way. May the gods and you bless me with your company. I wish you and your family good health and wealth for the rest of your days.

Sincerely and Earnestly, 

Duke Oberyn Martell of Dorne

“Oh mother, come look it’s from the Duke of Dorne, read this letter it's so thoughtful,” I gush as I hand her the letter. 

My mother gasps and reaches the letter from my hand, and as she reads from my periphery I see my brothers whisper to one another from their couch and I see Colin leave while Benedict stays.

“This is wonderful news! It’s only been half a week in this season, and it seems like you’ve already found yourself a suitor, my dear,” mother said.

“It’s all thanks to you mama, my wonderful wit and looks must’ve charmed him and I got them all from you,” I replied. We then looked at each other and bursted out laughing, hugging each other as we giggled at the letter and bouquet. 

“Do you really think he likes me though? Because I have heard what my brothers said about him and they went to the Academy together,” I said suddenly. 

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, you two are about to begin a beautiful courtship I can sense it,” my mother assured me.

“What is going on here?” I hear Anthony stomp over in the room.

“It seems like your sister charmed the Duke of Dorne,” mother explains.

Anthony grabs the letter from the end table and reads it, he hands it over to Colin and Benedict to read, who then turns just as angry as Anthony.

“This is ridiculous, don’t you think he’s going a bit too far and fast with this, mother?” Anthony questioned.

“Well sure it may seem a bit fast but it’s not like he asked for her hand in marriage yet, it’s the start of a courtship, have you seen the flowers he sent her?” my mother reasoned.

“Expensive ones,” I jumped in. 

Anthony glared at me for a moment but then returned to his normal posture as he then gestured to all three of him, Colin, and Benedict as he says, “Just know that we are only looking out for you sister, and if he even dares to touch a hair on your head without your consent, just give the word and we will fight him for you.”

Benedict and Colin nod in agreement but I scoff and replied, “Three against one, seems hardly fair does it?”

“It does when it accounts towards the family honor,” Benedict says. 

I just huffed at that and grabbed the letter from their hands and replied, “Well I think his charming, but if you can think of a better match than him I am all ears, however for now you will to be contempt with the fact your sister is in the dating season in Westeros and I hope you three can wrap your heads around that.”

With that I kiss my mother on the cheek as I bid my farewell to the rest of them as I take my leave to my bedroom where I laid on my bed clutching the letter to my chest. I laid there motionlessly for a minute before a smile spread across my face at the thought of Oberyn Martell writing the letter and handing the flowers himself. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The time has arrived for my family and I to arrive at the next gathering, which is to be hosted by the Tyrells this time. The House of Tyrell is known for their lavish spending on the decorations and music, the only family that comes close to their lavish spending are the Lannisters. Lord Mace Tyrell of Highgarden is rarely seen during the parties rather he has a much permanent stay over at the King’s Palace, as he is the King’s most renowned advisor, however the Lady of the House, Lady Alerie Hightower has a graceful demeanor and peaceful aura that one hopes they can be graced with in their lifetime. 

We all gathered into the carriage together when we were all dressed and ready to go, with Anthony being the last to arrive. Mother and I sat next to each other giggling to ourselves and clutching each other’s arms thinking about Oberyn. My brothers sat across from us sulking with their arms crossed, probably scheming about ways to get me away from Oberyn. 

The carriage stopped and the rider signaled us that we have arrived at the Tyrell estate at Highgarden. The estate is beautiful with the castle stretching for miles on either side of the front entrance, with the renowned beautiful rose gardens stretching around the landscape of the castle. It was beautiful, as to be expected of the Tyrells.

We entered the ballroom in which the party is primarily at, and I soon saw Tyrion talking to the hosts of the party, Lady Alerie and her daughter Lady Margery. They both are the belles of the ball tonight, it was also seen as Lady Margery’s debut into the social season, we haven’t talked much so I can’t really say anything about her character. 

Tyrion sees me and waves me over so I do with my mother in tow, we come to greet him and the hosts.

“Lady Alerie, Lady Margery, we are grateful for your invitation,” my mother greets her as we both curtsy in greeting.

I turn to Margery and say, “you look absolutely beautiful this day, might I add the color green really takes to you.”

“Why, I am quite flattered to hear that because from what I heard around the town, you are the Incomparable this season,” Lady Margery remarks.

“It is quite true, even if she doesn’t want to admit it, she is the best student I ever had,” Tyrion says for me. 

“Who cares for me when I heard that a certain prince caught your eye?” I question. 

Margery blushes under the question and Tyrion raised his eyebrows at me in response. Before anyone can further the conversation I heard the band begin to play the first song of the ball. Lady Margery excuses herself as she readies herself to be asked on the dance floor. Within the first verse she did get asked by a handsome bachelor. 

The prince in question was Prince Joffrey Baratheon, he was being groomed to take the role of King of Westeros quite soon, however room speculates about how prepared he may be. In the eyes of high society he was supposed to debut as a bachelor if he was anyone else, but he is the Platinum Prince as people liked to call him. Tyrion likes to call him the Plastic Bastard behind closed doors.

My mother soon takes off as she told me that she was going to try to fend off my brothers from scaring off any suitors my way which I thank her for. 

“So you are hearing things about that loathsome child?” Tyrion questions in a hushed tone. 

“Quite, but don’t worry it’s all gossip, it seems like Lady Margery is getting favors from Prince Joffrey. He seems to be quite adamant that he has found her princess, however the Queen might feel about it,” I state as I watch the dancing. 

“That is quite the speculation, but it does appear you are right, because Lady Alerie seems to think that this debut was only to announce that Lady Margery has come of age into the social season, because it seems like Lady Alerie already picked out and secured a quite permanent suitor for her daughter,” Tyrion speculated with a sip from his glass. 

“I wouldn’t even be surprised if the prince came here uninvited to try and win the people’s hearts with a grand spectacle. How the royal family do like their toys,” Tyrion continued.

“Bite your tongue Lannister, I don’t want to lose a friend simply due to gossip,” I paused then leaned down to whisper to him, “But you are quite right about the toys. It would be a shame if the prince realized he was also a pawn to the Queen’s game as well.”

“Aren’t we all,” Tyrion muttered. We both glanced at each other and shared a smile at that, we clink our glasses together as we drink with smiles on our faces.

“I see you two are together often,” I hear a voice approach us. 

I turned and saw the Duke of Dorne smiling at us, in a very catching navy blue, and golden yellow suit with a dappled blue ascot tied and tucked around his neck. His olive skin seems to glow from the ensemble, and I start to blush at how intense his gaze was at me.

“You see, your grace, it’s merely a ruse so my brothers aren’t as intense at protecting me, they don’t see Lord Tyrion as a threat, so I am able to breathe freely from such scrutiny,” I say with a conspiratory smile on my face.

Tyrion pretends to gasp as he clutches imaginatory pearls around his neck.

“My word, Lady (Y/N) if only your guard dogs can hear you now,” Tyrion states.

We both laugh at that while the Duke has a huge grin on his face, watching us.

“Well now that I know the truth, may I have this dance, I do believe they are about to start the Cotillion Dance if you care to join me?” the Duke offered with his hand out.

“I would be honored, Lord Martell,” I say cautiously as I take his hand and he leads me to the dance floor. 

The music begins and we all stand in formation at the start of the dance, then the dancing commenced. The man of course led this dance as well, and from our first dance together I took well under his lead in the dance. It felt like we were gliding on the dance floor with us twirling and spinning around each other, but I felt safe and confident as we danced together. I felt beautiful and radiant, I looked into the Duke’s eyes and it felt like he had his eyes on me the whole time. The Cotillion ended as we took our bows and he led me off the dance floor.

We found a corner of the ballroom as he took me there, and he began to speak.

“So, I was wondering and I know this might be too soon after our second dance but I would like to propose something to you,” the Duke began.

“Yes?” I urged.

“Well, I would like to begin a courtship with you,” the Duke says.

I let out a startled laugh at that as I immediately put my hand on my mouth at that, I grew hot with embarrassment almost immediately.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you, but you see my brothers are quite adamant at protecting me and if they heard you propose that to me, they would all beat you to a pulp. They also seemed to warn me against you as well I might add,” I warned him.

He quirked his eyebrow as he heard me which he then replied, “I wonder what those warnings might be? Is it that I am a rake? Or is it that I had frequented brothels?”

“There was that, but also that you are a bit of a brute,” I added.

He gave a quiet laugh at that as he shook his head and then let out an exhale. I gave him a soft smack to his torso as I reprimanded, “Don’t laugh! So tell me is it true then? Should I be cautious of you then?”

He gave a dramatic pause as he gave a thoughtful stroke to his facial hair and he looked up to the ceiling as if in quiet deliberation.

“Well all those rumors used to be true a couple months ago, I was quite rebellious towards my family affairs and myself I suppose. I didn’t want to take responsibility quite yet,” he said.

“Well what changed?” I inquired.

“Well to put it quite simply, my older brother, he has his own state of affairs with his own estate at Godsgrace and with our sister Elia passing away so suddenly from influenza we were both stricken with grief,” he pauses as if in reflection.

I nod in understanding, I put my hand on his as I squeezed it in reassurance waiting for him to continue talking. 

After a moment of soft silence between us as the music and society dances around us, we were caught up in each other, in this moment. 

“Well, I suppose that brought things in perspective for both of us, let’s say. I know she loved us until the very end of her life, but I suppose that grief has left me stricken to try and chase anything that made me feel something other than grief and molly houses, duels, boxing, and fencing were all things that did,” he seemed to emphasize the past tense in his sentence.

“Well I am sure if she saw you now, she would not blame you for what you have done. Grief does strange and terrible things to us all. I was similar to you as my papa had just recently passed away this past year, I had locked myself away in my room and not talked to anyone except my mama and even then it was short sentences. They loved each other dearly, my parents,” I explain.

“What got you through the grief?” he asked.

I paused in thought then answered, “Well to be honest, there will always be an ache in my heart for him but what got me through in acceptance was my family and the world outside my window. Nature allowed me to relapse in my head and to just breathe fresh air without thinking of my father, my family, businesses or anything else. It allowed me for a moment to collapse and I think I needed that.”

“You are quite wise for someone so young,” the Duke remarked.

“Well three older brothers and two younger siblings someone ought to be,” I answered.

He smiles at my comment and then replies, “Well I think that does it for our serious conversation. Would you like another dance, my lady?”

“Why I would be happy to, sir.” 

The next dance was led by a bright happy tune and we instantly knew the dance was to be of a country dance. We beamed at each other as we both realized that, it was as if the band realized we needed a reprieve. The dance was filled with bouncing and skipping around the entire floor, and it led to us with bright smiles on each other’s faces as we continued to stare at each other throughout the whole dance. From the corner of my eye I saw my brothers with concerned expressions as they saw me dancing with the Duke, and I also saw my mother and Tyrion both smiling at us. 

“It seems like we have fans,” the Duke whispered to me. 

“And critics,” I added, which made both of us lean back a little and let out a small laugh. 

“I assure you that the criticisms that your brothers may have me are of past consequence,” he tells me. 

“Oh I’m quite confident in that,” I say.

The dance then ended with us as routine in society, we take our bows and he leads off the dance floor. Which we were then greeted with three angry faces and two smiling ones. 

“What are you doing with him, (Y/N)?” Anthony questioned.

“Well I'm having a lovely time, if you must know, brother,” I answered.

“I was also going to ask you something before your family came over,” Oberyn says.

“Oh what is it?” I asked.

“Since we have twice tonight, and from our conversations I would like to make our courtship public and to get approval from your family,” Oberyn announces. (In regency era, if a lady dances only with one man,  especially twice in one night, it is seen as either she is “easy” or she is engaged to that man) 

“How da-” Anthony started. 

“Wonderful,” my mother finished as she elbowed Anthony.

“It seems you have taken fascination with my student, eh Red Viper?” Tyrion asks.

“I sincerely have, and I want to make this an amazing courtship, I know that your family is known for honeyed alcohol but what of sweets? There is an amazing cafe that I would love to take you sometime this week,” Oberyn offered.

“I would love to, Duke” I answered.

“You could take her this weekend, that’s two days away, I’m sure you can take her then,” my mother responds.

“That sounds wonderful,” Oberyn answered.

“Then it’s settled, I can’t wait to see you that day. Well I think we’ll take our leave then,” I say and my mother reached for my arm and we were escorted home leaving Oberyn and my brothers to their own disposal.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days have passed with relative ease even though all three brothers have badgered my ear off with the countless requests to put Duke Oberyn in his place by way of a duel, which I vehemently denied. My sisters have taken to making fun of me for being so enchanted by the Duke of Dorne, and it seems the only person who was my confidante in this new relationship was my mother. 

The clock in the drawing room has struck 12 o’clock meaning that it was time for me to be heading out towards the main town in the Reach which was only 30 minutes away from our estate by foot, so it was easy for me. I took to wearing my riding boots and my favorite dress and wearing my hair in a simple updo fashion, well as simple as one can make it with the fashion trends these days. 

I ended up making it to the main road of the town in enough time that I was allowed to stroll around the town window shopping, until I heard my name being called.

“Lady Bridgerton, there you are,” I heard a familiar voice call out.

I turned to see the Duke of Dorne walking my way to me with a lazy grin etched on his face, which got me to smile back at him.

“Why hello Lord Martell,” I say as I do a small curtsy to him. 

When he fully approached me he presented his hand to me and as I took it he said, “Shall we?”

“We shall,” I grinned at him.

We made our way to a small cafe that he was adamant that was amazing about their sweets and pastries that they are known for. We found ourselves at a corner of the shop sitting on opposite sides of the table. He ordered for the both of you when it came to that, because he insisted that there were some things that he simply must do for me and to trust him.

I huffed and playfully glared at him as we got our treats in order for us., and he returned my glare with a stare of his own. A smirk plays across his features as he takes a dip into a lemon custard that he got, wrapping his tongue around the spoon. 

I inhaled sharply as I watched and I got flustered when he caught my eye, I hurried myself with drinking my hot chocolate that I got. I saw his expression become bemused at what he saw me doing from my periphery, and I tried to shake my head of the thoughts that were swirling in my head. 

“So, I was thinking…”

“Oh a dangerous activity indeed,” I teased.

“Hush, I was merely about to ask, what are some things that you would like to do while we are courting, because I would like this to be a worthwhile endeavor for the both of and make this the best courtship for you”

“Well, that’s rather kind of you, but I am sure you are aware that I have not courted anyone at all, and to be quite honest with you I don’t know a thing about courting. Sure I know mannerisms and what to say as well, but what goes beyond that? I simply don’t know. My brothers won’t tell me a thing, and my mother won’t tell me a thing about it.”

“Hmm, well we’ll take it slow then, okay? If I do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or strange tell me, hmm? I have every intention of making you my wife, so let’s get to know each other during this courting period and don’t worry about not knowing certain things about life because from what I heard you are quite the scholar,” Oberyn responds to my rant.

“Well I try to be, I would love to be a writer one day but that is off limits in today’s society, I’m afraid, so I make do with learning as much as I can with the limited options I am able to. Lord Tyrion makes an excellent teacher, whenever he is not professing his love for alcohol or gossiping about the royals,” I let out.

“Lord Tyrion is quite the conversationalist and wine tester, he knows about everyone and everyone’s cousins, unlike his siblings people have no problem extending an invitation his way. Now, what is your favorite thing that you like to learn? There has to be something that you enjoy out of all your lessons,” he asks.

“Well, I do enjoy painting, and I’m rather indifferent towards my sewing lessons which I suppose is mandatory, but I also deeply enjoy playing music. Painting and music are something I am deeply in love with, I love to go to the Opera theater in town. The touring groups that play there are almost always amazing. I also love going to the art galleries whenever they have a new exhibit to display,” I respond. 

“I heard there was going to be a new exhibit opening up in a few days from now, I’m bringing my sister’s favorite painting to be displayed there,” Oberyn states.

“I will be there, I got an invitation from Lady Joanna to be there actually, I’m sure she just wants to keep an eye on me, “ I say.

“Who wouldn’t want to keep an eye on the diamond of the season?” Oberyn questions.

“I hate that people are calling me, as well as the Incomparable? What am I that the other women are not?” 

“Well I am not sure how to put it, but you surely have captivated me, and it seems like your focus and intellect has in fact enraptured all that talk to you,” Oberyn assured me.

“I surely hope not, for there are some that I would happy to never come near me again,” I state.

“Oh? And who would that be? You surely couldn’t be talking about the Kingslayer or the Prince?” 

“You listen to about as much gossip as my mother, I swear.”

“Well is the gossip wrong?”

“No, not exactly but even if I was interested in them, I doubt that my brothers would even think about letting them breathe in my general direction.”

Oberyn laughs at that.

“Well, then I shall count my blessings that I allowed to still be alive so I may take in your beauty,” Oberyn flatters.

“You already got an outing with me, I hardly think you need to do anymore flattering, Duke,” I respond.

“Hmmmm, I think if we were to continue this courtship I think it would only be fair if you would call me by my first name?” Oberyn insists.

I got flustered by his sudden request but then I went to say, “Of course, only if you do the same.”

He raises his eyebrows at me and had a light smile on his face as he says, “Well of course it’s only fair, (Y/N)”

“Oberyn”

“How sweet it is to hear my name from a lovely flower,” Oberyn compliments.

“Well I think that’s enough pandering today, I am sure you must have more important business then just hanging out with me all day,” I say as I brush my dress and start to stand up.

“Oh there is no more important business then spending time with you, honeybee,” he comments and he winks at me when he calls me that new nickname.

My face got hot with that new nickname as I tried to make my way out of the cafe with Oberyn hot on my trail. He suddenly pulled me aside into a walkway that was a clearing in a park that I hadn’t fully noticed before. 

“What? Oberyn? Where are you taking me? I thought we were just heading back,” I questioned him.

“You didn’t think that I would want to part with you so soon, honeybee?” Oberyn asks in return as he spins back to face me.

“I assumed so, my brothers make a point to make sure there are no suitors within an arm’s length of me and I thought you would be the same yet you keep coming back. I thought you would be scared to come near because of my family,” I admitted.

“Ah well, I know how my family is, I am lucky that I was able to grow an estate of my own because my elder brother is the viscount of our family estate and he can be a pain on trying to get me a wife and my personal schedule in general, so believe me when I say I understand siblings. Maybe, not to the extent of your family but to an extent,” He explains.

“Well that explains some of it, I suppose,” I replied.

We were walking side by side at this point and I noticed the sun was just about to set and I realized that we were out together for at least 4 hours, and I was starting to worry what my brothers would think. 

After a few moments in silence Oberyn breaks it as he asks, “I just want to ask, why are you so hesitant about this relationship? Is it truly just because of your brothers that you are not willing to enter this relationship or is it something else entirely?”

“It is mostly because I am afraid Oberyn,” I tell him.

We now stood in front of a beautiful ficus tree with its branches spread all in different directions but the leaves always reaching towards the sun. I turn my focus on studying this tree instead of looking at him, embarrassed for admitting my fear. For I want to love him with my whole being already but scared of the novelty of it. 

Oberyn hummed in thought as he heard my fear and after a moment of silence he spoke up, “Well then we shall take it slow, as slow as we can in this season anyway. The gods know how the Queen loves a good wedding.” 

I turned to him and I smiled softly at how gently he spoke. “Thank you Oberyn then I will see you at the gallery then,” I say to him.

“Yes you shall, now let’s get you back before your brothers come looking for us and to take my head.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

The days seem to blur as I wait in anticipation for my next meeting with Oberyn, it has been less than a week since we have started courting but I am already infatuated with the man. Relationships have started off with less in these times, right? I mean Countess Daneryes had an arranged marriage with Count Drogo, they seem happy enough from the little times they do make a public appearance but I can only imagine if things were to have been worse.

During the few days between my dates with Oberyn, I had been pressured to practice my music skills more, as my mother thinks that a Duchess should know the masterpieces of the piano. I just hope one day I’d have the liberties to be able to compose my own piece on the piano.

Benedict had recently taken art classes, Colin also started taking fencing lessons, and Anthony has been Anthony. When I announced that I would be attending the new painting gallery, Benedict showed his interest in escorting me there as well as wanting to see the new art in general. With that settled, Colin and Anthony begrudgingly said that they’ll let me go on my own with Benedict. My mother seemed equally as excited as I am about the art gallery, because I have talked to her about Oberyn and she approves of the relationship.

Benedict and I went off to the gallery once we were already ready to go. We stepped foot in the carriage and off we went to the main city’s art gallery. The ride went quickly and rather quietly as well, but I didn’t pay any mind to the silence. I was just excited to see Oberyn again. 

We arrived at the gallery, and once we stepped inside I was absolutely mesmerized by the decor and ambience of the entire place. The paintings were displayed in front of a beautiful burgundy backdrop all throughout the place. My brother and I bid our farewells to each other as we went to go look at the different paintings. 

I explored and looked at the different types of paintings that were displayed around the gallery.

“Well if it isn’t Lady Bridgerton, how very nice to see you,” I heard a voice coming up to me. 

I looked to my right to see Duchess Joanna, I bowed my head towards her and gave her a polite greeting as well.

“I’m glad to see you got my invitation well, how is your relationship going with Duke Oberyn?” Duchess Joanna asked. 

“I think it’s going well, at least I hope so,” I respond.

“So when do-” 

“Ah Duchess Joanna, how good to see you here. I want to thank you for extending an invitation and for me to display my family’s paintings here,” I hear a familiar voice interrupt.

I tilt my head to Oberyn as he made his appearance between the Duchess and I, it seems he must’ve heard the conversation and wanted to circumvent the question the Duchess was about to ask.

“Of course, and I see you have found each other so I will be taking my leave,” Lady Joanna says and with that she walks off.

Oberyn turns to you and as you meet each other’s eyes you both smiled.

“It seems that you were about to meet a very uncomfortable question with Lady Joanna,” Oberyn began.

“So you decided to intervene then? Ah, my hero,” you stated. 

The smiles never faded from either of your faces as you two began to walk around the gallery. When you were passing by an entry to a hallway of another gallery, Oberyn nodded towards it and guided you to walk through it, and when you got there you were amazed by the two pieces adorned on either side of the wall. 

The first one we saw was on all accounts a technical masterpiece, but as I was looking at it all I felt was cold calculating movements and techniques that are being taught today. The second one however was of a landscape, and it looked like it was of Dorne, there was a familiarity to it and a warmth surrounding the piece that I felt like I was home already.

“So what do you think?” Oberyn asks.

“Well, the first one felt frigid like it was only made to be appraised for its techniques and nothing else. However this one, this one, felt so warm, so comforting, it feels like hiraeth,” you say as you turn to him. 

He hums in acknowledgement and looks at you with a small smile on his face.

“This was my sister’s favorite, and behind was our father’s commission piece, I think you spoke well on the differences here. I feel the same, I began to feel that this was my favorite as well, after she died. What is hiraeth? I’ve never heard that word before,” Oberyn responded.

“It means to be homesick for a home that never existed,” I answered.

Oberyn nodded in acknowledgement and we both turned to the painting again, looking at the beautiful image in front of us. The distant voices of the rest of the guests slowly faded away as we continued to stand almost shoulder to shoulder with each other. I felt a pull towards him, I wanted to hold his hand so badly, it was strange, but did he feel the same? I glanced quickly to see our hands reaching for each other and we felt our fingertips touch. As soon as we felt them we heard a loud crash. With that loud crash, our little microcosm came crashing down with that sound. 

We turned to the source of the sound and we were greeted with the sight of my brother Benedict sliding on the floor and met my eyes. 

“Ah there you two are, I was wondering where you ran off to,” Benedict states.

“Like I didn’t see you running off to see your mentor just in time to avoid Lady Joanna,” I bounced back at him.

“That doesn’t prove anything, dear sister, and anyway we should be getting back, I should escort you back to the house, even if you do have a suitor now,” Benedict eyed Oberyn as he spoke.

“I hope to see you soon, maybe we shall go for a picnic?” Oberyn asks you.

“Speaking of picnics, well not really, how would you want to come to dinner one day? Our mother seems keen on meeting you properly, you know my brothers, and my precious little sister, but pray my mother, so here is an invitation for you to come over tomorrow. Don’t worry, mother knows about it (Y/N),” Benedict interrupts.

I just gaped at him as I heard him talk, I knew my mother wanted to talk to Oberyn, but have him over for dinner? Isn’t that a bit much? I turn to Oberyn, I see he had a lazy grin stretched across his face.

“Well, how can I say no to such an invitation,” Oberyn lamented and he claps his hands together looking between the three of you with a smile on his face.

With that you all started to head back into the thrums of the gathering in the gallery, as Benedict walked ahead you walked a bit slower with Oberyn.

“I am eager, adamant and sincere about this relationship, honeybee, and I hope you and your family see it that way as well,” Oberyn tells you.

“Oberyn, you make my heart burn with such sweetness that you say to me, and if you keep that up I’m sure my mother will fall under your charm as well,” I murmured to him.

After that my brother and I said our farewells to the appropriate guests and we headed our way back home.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

News has reached all of my brothers and sisters about how Duke Oberyn has finally decided to make an appearance to the Bridgerton estate, which got my sisters and mother very excited about this new man coming to visit that wasn’t family.

My brother, Anthony, seemed to be brooding the most about this new development, which I could’ve seen coming from a mile away. Colin and Benedict were taking it better then expected except now they have decided would be an excellent time to warn me against Oberyn even more vehemently before. I still don’t understand why my brothers are so against this, I like him, isn’t that enough? Or is it because they were friends in the same academy? 

The preparations have made for the table and the maids and butlers have made sure that everything is pristine in the household, and as the time ticks down for Oberyn to arrive, I’ve become increasingly more worried that something might go wrong. 

Then once the hour arrived, we got word that Oberyn had arrived and we all got ready to greet him. Oberyn walked into the drawing room where we all were loitering, Hyacinth and Eloise were reading and embroidering, I was talking to my mother, and the three brothers were all talking amongst each other. Once we were aware of his presence we all said our polite greetings, with my mother going straight away to compliment him which Oberyn took and reflected back to her.

We all made our way to the dining table where the food was already present on the table, as we all took our seats Oberyn moved his way to me and sat down with me.

Then dinner began and with that our usual chaotic family conversation began. Hyacinth refusing to eat her vegetables, Eloise teasing her, Benedict and Colin teasing each other and shoving each other at the table and my mother chastising every one of them. 

Oberyn leans to whisper to me, “I didn’t know family meals could be so entertaining.”

“Oh you should see them during the holidays, they’re entertainment all by themselves,” I whisper back. 

I look up and see Anthony glaring at us, I turn back to Oberyn and asked him, “Why is Anthony so opposed to our relationship?”

“He’s your brother, ask him,” Oberyn answered.

“And he’s your friend, plus he won’t talk to me no matter how many times I ask,” I pressured him,

“I think it’s all about my past, I normally wouldn’t have seen myself with a longtime commitment but with you I do, and I think your brother is having difficulty realizing that I grew out of my adolescence,” he answered.

I nod and smile at him in understanding, I reach for his hand under the table and squeeze it in reassurance, which in turn made him smile at me.

“Well, Duke, I have seen and heard that you have become quite attached with my dear daughter,” my mother spoke up.

Oberyn straightens his back in his chair and he replies, “I am very much attached with her, Lady Violet. I’ve come to nickname her honeybee.” 

“Did you allow him to call you this?” Anthony glared.

“Yes I did, brother, and he allowed me to just say his first name as well, I do hope you realize that we are sincere about each other,” I replied.

Anthony sighed while mother gave me a soft smile in return, and I looked to see Oberyn beaming at me.

“Well, Duke, I do hope to see you marry her before the season ends, it’d be a shame to see this season go to waste,” my mother pestered.

“Mother,” I warned her and all I got in return was a confused look from my mother.

“I have every plans on doing so actually, I hope for every one of you to see how sincere and earnest I am with your daughter,” he turns to me and takes my hand and he kisses it lightly, “she has me so under her spell, she has me bewitched body and soul, and I am not sure how any marriage proposal would befit how she has me feel.”

I felt my whole body flush with heat and tears pricked my eyes at the praises and endearments he was giving me. He was ethereal, otherworldly, with how he treated me and I swear to the old gods that if that wasn’t his marriage proposal then-

“Well I think that was as good of a marriage proposal as any,” Hyacinth quipped from the other side of the table. 

Oberyn’s face turned as red as the roses set on the table. I see from the corner of my eye my mother nods to Oberyn and he takes a deep breath. He stands up and kneels before me with both of my hands in his and what I saw in his eyes made it click in my head what was happening.

“(Y/N), my honeybee, we may have known each other for two months and started courting for half of that time, but I already know in my heart of hearts that you own my everything already. Whenever we part I am always thinking of our next meeting, and I may have already talked to your mother about this, and I want you to make me the luckiest man in all of the world, and let me call you my wife as I am already yours fully, so you can call me husband. So will you marry me?”

Tears flowed down my face as I slid off my chair to cling onto him tightly as I said, “Yes, a thousand times yes, I will marry you Oberyn Martell, I love you so much.”

“As I do you, my love, I love you too,” he whispers to me as he caresses my head. 

Applaud littered the dining hall with my family congratulating us as well as the staff on our new engagement. As we stood in this new feeling, I reveled in it and I felt elated, like I was floating and I couldn’t get down even if I wanted to. 

I looked at Oberyn and he looked at me with such love and adoration that I knew I made the right choice. I found the love of my life and I found it in him.

[scenics]

love or hate sticker, but the music video is outright horrible. i hate everything about it. the cinematography is so soo bad. whoever is directing and editing late2020 and 2021 nct mvs should be fired.

i found the mv ungiffable from a creative standpoint and that’s never a good thing. oui kim’s productions for nct have been so lackluster lately and i’m so disappointed in what has happened to nct’s videography. their videography was the whole reason i got into them and it’s been depressing to see what it’s become after superhuman (the last okay mv). ncity used to be full of great original creatives but they all left with the degradation in creative quality (most became deobis no surprise! filmbyteam is over there with tbz!). as someone who loves film, nct used to be the boy group with the cinematic quality (loona was their counterpart) and now their newer stuff is a joke. nct2020 video teasers were laughable compared to the nctmentaries. most of all, newer boy groups have copied and pasted their creative quality, something they were always known for pre 2019.

[shmegmilton]

Was there anything good about Hamilton the musical? My mother brought me tickets to go to it in the Summer and I want to know if I'm going to hate all of it.

Is Hamilton bad from a musical standpoint? (Nope.)

    Oh, don’t get me wrong, Anon--when I went to see Hamilton live, I had the same thought & I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it. The set design, comedic timing, & choreography (particularly the utilization of the spinning platform) are all incredible. And the songs, of course, are mostly certifiable bops. Most of them. I would say 40 out of 45. It’s not like “Guns & Ships” or “Room Where It Happens” weren’t amazing songs on the soundtrack, but the choreography really adds to the experience, & in the case of songs like “The Reynolds Pamphlet” or “Washington on Your Side” turns it into something really funny. Don’t take your eyes off the stage for a section, honestly.

The only weak-point of the music was, to be honest, whenever Hamilton was on stage; I used to think it was just a “Lin Manuel Miranda problem” because his flow is honestly... weird. I can’t really explain it--I’m a hip-hop dancer & there’s just something wrong with it--but even the man I saw performing as Hamilton couldn’t salvage it.

I assume it’s just a product of how Lin Manuel wrote his parts in the musical, since he admits that he can’t sing (& therefore would rather not) so there’s this weird juxtaposition sometimes where his part sounds really out of place, even when all the actors in a scene are “talk-singing.” (I don’t know, chime in, does anyone else feel me on that?)

The actors are all great as well, the performances & how they work off each other & the comedic timing are all fantastic, like I said. I like a good Broadway show. As a hip hop fan as we, the use of sampling is so insane.

The songs are also partially structured using actual quotes and other things that characters were known for saying or doing, so it’s impressive, all things considered.

---

Is Hamilton Bad from a Historical (Absolutely)

The real annoyance with the Hamilton musical (& why I would assume I’d hate it) is that it’s based off a biography; “Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow”, specifically. It’s a compelling read, but an embarrassingly awful biography.

-

    It’s less of a biography on Hamilton’s life & more of a intentionally misleading fluff piece where Hamilton is painted as this heroic, selfless visionary who is wrongfully slandered, which is infuriating on its own but it’s at the expense of painting everyone else around him who slightly inconveniences or holds him accountable for his actions, as the villains.

     Some of these people ARE villains, don’t get me wrong (for example, [HERE] is a list of legitimately monstrous things Jefferson is guilty of), but none of the actual horrible things these people did ever come up, it’s all about what THEY did to Hamilton... which usually just amounts to stupid shit like... forcing “him to admit he cheated on his wife,” or “being a battered housewife begging him for help & monetary assistance,” or, (I kid you not) “his wife being too pregnant for Hamilton to have sex with, so he decided he had to cheat,” which is a legitimate argument that Chernow tries to make.

Alexander Hamilton in real life had a hairline temper & the decorum of a child; he pushed away nearly every ally in his party he had & after Washington died he essentially had no political power. None of this is brought up the play, though--or if he is, it’s brought up in a way that intentionally makes you feel bad for him. It’s gross.

The “Pro-Immigrant” Message

     LMM is the son of 1st generation immigrants, & as such decided that a “pro immigrant” message was appropriate for the play. After all, Hamilton was an immigrant, right? It’s perfect because it’s something character would believe in, right? Uh... wrong.

Hamilton was the type of immigrant to “close the door behind him,” so to speak. He worked exclusively for the bourgeois & his party (The Federalist Party) was historically anti-immigrant. 

He himself used a lot of rhetoric that is popular today among xenophobes; he didn’t like immigrants because he wanted to “preserve American culture.”  He also assumed that the French Revolution was just “meaningless rioting” with no real goal (the “Revolution”, we’re not talking about the “Reign of Terror”) and expressed no real interest in helping refugees.

(Don’t get me wrong, having a message like this obviously isn’t a bad thing, it’s just makes it tone-deaf and bizarre watching it from the perspective of someone who knows this.)

-

Aaron Burr was an Afterthought. 

     The most confusing thing about the play is how Burr is portrayed. On one hand, he is presented as the villain (he does shoot him, after all) whose opening lines of each song by essentially calling Hamilton a bunch of names. From Hamilton’s perspective, he sings about how Burr is an opportunist who doesn’t have any political beliefs (which is a [LIE], by the way.)

On the other hand, he his presented as a tragic character; he is given songs like “Wait For It” & “Dear Theodosia” to humanize him, he even almost got a tear-jerker of a song after his wife died & he’s singing a reprise to his daughter through his tears, which was ultimately cut for time... (I’ll leave it [HERE] because it’s legitimately beautiful.) These are two very conflicting ways to present a character, but after looking into it a bit more I realized...

      --it’s out of place because the sympathetic Burr portrayal was written as a an afterthought. 

By some crazy chance, LMM lived in the same complex as Antonio Burr, a distant descendant (I believe he’s a descendant of Burr’s cousin?) Antonio was adamant about defending Burr and correcting a lot of LMM’s misconceptions (because, as I said, the Chernow book paints Burr as cartoonishly evil.) So, Antonio convinced LMM to spend more time in the play humanizing Burr.

It was Antonio’s idea, not LMM’s.

This post is already pretty long so [HERE] is a post I made more in-depth about why Burr’s portrayal is super dishonest (for example, he was actually pro-immigration, whereas the play has him mocking Hamilton for it).

Overall

    TL;DR, Hamilton isn’t that bad... as long as you turn your brain off. I personally just pretend that the musical is about Burr instead of Hamilton (“his enemies destroyed his rep, America forgot him,” describes him pretty well.)

I’m sure that you will enjoy yourself, don’t let my complaining dissuade you! (God knows that the actors appreciate the ticket sales right now.)

[dollsorwhatever]

Rainbow Raver: An analysis

Alrighty guys, let me start this off with a quick note: Nothing about this post is in defense of Isaac Larian, the CEO of MGA Entertainment- Isaac’s tweets and accusations at Amina of StudioMucci are objectively indefensible and laced with racially charged insults. I’ve pretty much always thought of him as a shit person so he can get fucked and I have no desire to even think to defend him.  This post is entirely about Amina Mucciolo and whether or not the LOL Surprise doll Rainbow Raver (from Hairgoals wave 2) could have potentially been based off of her work- more specifically her hairstyle- and if she is, is that wrong or even legal? Full analysis below the cut (it’s long as hell)

Let’s get started. Amina Mucciolo’s first post with the hairstyle in question was on November 23rd, 2018 (this being the first time she had ever posted with this exact color scheme, as per the caption of the post):

As per the Amazon listing description for Lol Surprise Hairgoals Wave 2, the collection’s official release date was June 12th, 2019:

This collection had also leaked in early June, prior to the official release on Amazon, both via Taobao listings and by Target releasing a few cases prior to the street date on accident.  In doll and toy design, it typically takes 12 months or more to take a doll from the original concept sketch----> production and retail sale. There are less than 6 months between Amina’s first post and the official release of Hairgoals Wave 2 on Amazon, fewer if you account for the actual manufacturing times and the leaks prior to official release.  In order for MGA to have stolen Amina’s hairstyle for Rainbow Raver, they would have had to:

-Start an original design sketch -Proof and revise the sketch multiple times -Create a physical prototype of the design

-Source the materials and choose the colors of Rainbow Raver’s hair and clothing, then approve a factory sample out of potentially hundreds of samples

-Then finally, mass manufacture the doll for retail sale.  Something else to note is that Rainbow Raver is one of TEN dolls in Hairgoals Wave 2:

In order for MGA to have stolen Amina’s hairstyle for use in Hairgoals Wave 2, they would have had to stall the release of the other nine dolls, which all come in a single case, with the exception of EDM BB- the doll sitting next to Rainbow Raver- which was the Ultra Rare doll of the line and only came in every second case. Rainbow Raver, however, was sold in every single case of Hairgoals 2. (I would know, I got 4 of her out of 6 individual Hairgoals capsules I ordered on Amazon in June of 2019 lol) In order for them to stall the release, which was timed alongside several other LOL Surprise releases for Fall, they would have had to risk losing several million dollars and push back every other release for 2019- thus throwing off their entire release and production schedule, and potentially ruining their relationship with retailers by not providing the stock they ordered on time. 

It is logistically impossible that MGA would have been able to steal Amina’s hairstyle and produce a doll in 6 months, then insert her into a collection of nine other dolls. 

But wait, there’s more.  In July 2019, MGA released the next collection of LOL Surprise dolls- The Winter Disco Lils collection:

This collection was comprised, almost entirely, of lil siblings for the dolls in Hairgoals wave 2..including Rainbow Raver’s Lil Sister:

So not only would MGA have had to delay the release of Hairgoals wave 2 in order to manufacture a doll based on Amina Mucciolo, they also would have had to delay the release of Winter Disco Lils- which I’ll also note, is one collection in a 4-part Winter Disco line for 2019, which also would have been delayed had MGA stolen Amina’s likeness for a single doll. 

IN CONCLUSION: It is quite literally impossible for MGA to have stolen Amina’s likeness for this doll in the timeline needed for this to have happened, both from a production standpoint and a financial one. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now! Let’s take a look at MGA’s design portfolio to see how they could have produced this doll without Amina’s hair as a reference:

In 2004, the Bratz Tokyo A Go Go line was released:

This line features colorful fashions, references to Japanese pop culture and....multicolored micro braids, even in pigtails:

I happen to have this entire collection and every doll has multicolored micro braids rooted into their hair, but I’m going to cite Fianna since her hair is the most similar to Rainbow Raver’s in that the micro braids are placed in the exact same manner- symmetrically rooted across the middle of her parting:

And Rainbow Raver’s hair:

One thing to also note is that Fianna also comes with two braids hanging loose by her face; this is notable on the stock pictures of the doll (I pulled the tendrils back on mine).

Now let’s look at some other MGA dolls through the years with similar design features, to establish that Rainbow Raver’s aesthetic is incredibly common for MGA dolls. I’m gonna go with the most notable ones because jeez there’s a lot.  Bratz Live in Concert (2005):

Photo credit to Max on Flickr Brightly colored streaks, references to Japanese pop culture, pigtails.  Bratz Action Heroez (2013):

Bratz Twisty Style (2013):

Bratz Study Abroad Cloe (2016):

Note the colorfully-streaked pigtails and clear vinyl skirt, which is also a design featured on Rainbow Raver’s outfit:

Bratz Music Festival Vibez Jade (2016):

Yet another vinyl skirt, rainbow leggings, reference to music festival clothing (which is what Rainbow Raver is inspired by)

Also to note is that this collection was designed by some of the the same people that are currently on the LOL Surprise team.

LOL Surprise Hairgoals Wave 1 Splatters doll (November 2018):

Rainbow Surprise doll: Rainbow Dream (2019):

Rainbow Dream features a hairstyle based in teal, with rainbow streaks throughout:

Clearly, rainbow streaks, micro braids and pigtails and rainbow striped clothing have been staples in MGA’s designs for well over a decade at this point.  So now that we’ve established that it’s all but impossible for MGA to have stolen Amina’s likeness for this doll, let’s ask:

 Do companies use real-life people and artwork as inspiration in the design process?

I can tell you now, with absolute certainty, that toy companies DO use pictures of real people and artwork as inspiration and references for designs...just as almost every other company does, and that includes Studio Mucci.

Whether you think it’s wrong to use outside inspiration when designing a product or piece of artwork is up to you. I’m inclined to think you probably don’t think it’s wrong, unless you believe that everything you love, every TV show and every piece of artwork, came from a vacuum without external inspiration and references.  It totally didn’t by the way. 

Is it legal to use outside inspiration, including photos of real people, as references for product design?

Unless the product point-blank copies a trademarked logo or design, yes. 

None of the featured similarities between Amina and Rainbow Raver can be trademarked or copyrighted, and Amina cannot claim teal hair with rainbow streaks, or rainbows in general, as her Intellectual Property. 

I’m going to end this post by saying that I feel for Amina. Black creatives are so often stolen from, undervalued and ignored, and it’s frankly irresponsible to expect a normal person to know this much about toy design schedules, and it’s even more irresponsible to expect a normal person to have a catalogue of every MGA toy release logged in their mind- heck even most doll collectors don’t think about this stuff.

And once you add in that MGA had hired her to do content for them, that even further cements the belief that they’d stolen her work. 

But no matter how easy it is to believe that’s what happened, it’s factually impossible and Amina was just wrong on this one. 

I think the official LOL Surprise statement was sufficient at providing a basic design timeline for people that probably don’t understand how long it takes to make a doll, and was incredibly respectful of Amina’s work and humanity. 

Isaac Larian’s subsequent comments were disgusting, racist, and completely lacking in empathy for Amina’s feelings.

I hope Amina can move on from this, and that Isaac Larian learns to keep his big mouth shut- at least, after he issues a public and private apology to Amina personally, considers making a sizable donation to BLM to make up for the horrible things he said. 

Thanks for reading. 

[nefoe-dd]

As someone who wasn't a huge fan of the Two River production of Be More Chill, I can confidently say that the NY/Broadway production is so much better from a technical standpoint (imo anyway).

I'm in no way a professional at anything theatre related, but as I see it, the characters are much more fleshed out and charasmatic than in the original, and all in all just seem so much more likable to me. I was never really attached to any of the character in the original except for Michael because he was the only one I felt I could relate to. I also liked Brooke, mainly because she seemed so nice, and only ended up getting taken advantage of because of it, which seemed sad to me. No one else seemed to have decent motivations for any of their actions and seemed to come off as rather shallow.

(And although it was for different reasons, I wasn't the biggest fan of Christine for some reason. I think I found her to be a little annoying?? And I didn't really like either of her songs. I honestly can't remember if there was another reason for not liking her at first, but I feel absolutely enamored by her in this newer version)

Now however, they have more sections in the music and the script in which they are able to talk about their feelings in a genuine way that isn't just to force the plot along. I can genuinely say that I love all of them deeply, and have an appreciation for them as characters and people.

I can't comment too much on the music, (even though I studied it for like 8 years of my life) but I can say that it has more depth to it in most cases and the lyrics that have changed make the story flow a bit better, even if they may have gotten rid of some iconic lines (even though many of them are still in the production but we're taken out of the cast recording.)

For example, I still strongly prefer the original Pitiful Children, (it's my favourite song on the original album) however I can at least see that the changes make (sometimes more) sense. The Squip makes what he's planning seem like it's going to benefit Jeremy fully, even though it is mostly just to fill it's own agenda. Of course because Jeremy has reached a pretty low point, it is incredibly easy for him to believe the Squip's promises that everyone will be better off as a result of his actions.

As far as I could tell, the original didn't really have that. While I may have easily missed something context related, Jeremy's decision to easily go along with and follow the Squip's orders in the original didn't make as much sense to me because it seemed too obviously manipulative.

People who listened to the original cast recording and loved it are much less likely to enjoy the new album because it is very different from the original. It just annoys me when people refuse to even give it a chance because they're so distracted by their nostalgia for the original.

If you genuinely don't enjoy it that is perfectly okay! But it should at least be acknowledged that they aren't the exact same musical. Things in the script were changed around, likely the stage direction too. If there's a change in actions or mannerisms that you don't personally think is a good one, it is very likely not the actor's fault! Of course they have some say in how they speak and act, but if they interpret something wrong it is up to the stage managers and directors to update them on how to change it. So if something stays the same, it's likely because it was meant to be that way!!

(That last paragraph is mainly to people that very heavily hate on Will Roland's portrayal of Jeremy because it isn't exactly like the original. Like! Multiple people involved, including Will himself, have stated that things were added ((like LGW)) specifically so it would fit him better. Like, that wasn't his decision to make. Just because you personally can't see him as anyone other than the comedic side character does not mean that he is a 'horrible Jeremy')

(Sorry about that last part, I love and support Will Roland with all my heart so seeing negativity around him and his acting hurts me)

TL;DR: The orginal broadway cast album/production of Be More Chill is a more fleshed out and Upgraded (haha) version of the show. This doesn't mean that you have to enjoy it, or that you can't prefer the original, but you should at least acknowledge the differences between them.

[constantlyirksome]

Zendaya is the diamond in a Rough Euphoria Premiere. (1x01 Review.)

I want to preface this post first by saying that as a cis male I’m not able to speak for the experiences of women or trans people, or assault victims because we don’t share the same experiences. I can’t truly understand their struggles; all I can do is speak for the show’s other components. If I step out of line please feel free to send a message through.

Second, Euphoria is R rated and incredibly explicit, so if you have certain triggers surrounding some of the themes of the show, maybe don’t watch, though the show does a better job than most when it comes to warning it’s audience what’s going down.

The first thing you notice about Euphoria is that it’s beautiful. The camerawork and lighting set the show apart from a lot of other teen dramas, perfectly matching the tone of the show's story. Every time the main character partakes in a drug the visuals match. Rue takes hallucinogens and the room literally spins on its axis, until she’s on the roof. When she takes something to mellow out her anxiety everything goes dark, the music slow like molasses and the lighting moves across her face, matching Zendaya's face her emotions spin. The music is very cool, which probably has something to with the fact that Drake is one of the producers. Big names like Beyoncé, Migos, Megan Thee Stallion and Asap Ferg are joined by more independent acts like Yung Baby Tate and Lil Dude.  Sprinkled in are some more old school tracks by Andy Williams. The mix feels very cool and genuine and stops the dark elements of the show taking over too much. The show is incredibly fun to watch from a production standpoint.

The shows two leads Rue (Zendaya Coleman,” and Jules (Hunter Schafer) are the guiding lights in a cast of liars, cheaters, abusers, and jerks. Rue is fresh out of rehab after having an OD during the summer and comes back into town looking to score more drugs immediately. We learn she uses to cope with a plethora of mental illnesses that she’s had to deal with since she was little. Her panic attacks are so severe she loses consciousness and feels like she can’t breathe. Her first relief comes the first time she uses drugs. She sometimes goes on long, theatrical rants that can seem a bit corny, like when she gives a detailed description of her birth. (This is coupled with some pretty graphic imagery, and it’s the first scene of the show so it gets your attention I guess.) But her story is interesting and there’s underlying compassion that comes through, with her sister, with a classmate having a rough time, and with Jules. Zendaya is a powerhouse, while this probably being the first adult program she’s been in she really steps it up. Her subtlety when playing drunk or stoned stops the show feeling goofy and actually makes what she’s going through pretty sad. Except for the montage of drunken bike riding accidents where she keeps riding into parked cars. Poetic cinema. Jules is still a little bit of an enigma, only appearing in her scene with the older guy, and at the party. Both times she’s profiled for being a trans woman, once threateningly and once sexually. But there’s a real fire there that’s intriguing. When she maims herself to fend off an aggressive jock it’s genuinely shocking and possibly gratuitous. It would be good to see how she’s gotten to where she is without relying solely on abuse tropes, which seems to be where her story is geared. The final scenes with Rue and Jules are incredibly sweet and make all the grime and darkness worth it.

You might wonder why people would want to review, or even watch shows that are so graphic and dark, or that the shows allure lies only in shock value. But Euphoria is more than just dick pics and teens taking drugs, everything is done for a reason, whether it adds to the story, or clues the audience in on the shows key themes. I have NEVER been a fan of sexual assault as a narrative device; it’s lazy and harmful. The first episode of Euphoria doesn’t have any explicit rape scenes, though the threat of it feels imminent, and there are a few hard to watch moments where the men take it a bit too far.

I think that’s the point, none of the shows men are painted in a particularly favorable light, the episode, and the whole series probably, wants to show of the worst types of misogyny that teen girls in high school face. There are jocks who bond over stolen nudes and sex tapes of their classmates, guys peer pressured into treating women poorly, and one very creepy older man with a major creep factor. It’s basically a PSA warning against some of the most common traits of entitled, sexist dudes. Head Jock, Nate, spends the episode walking around shirtless, shouting, cat calling and pushing people around like he’s top shit. When his ex, Maddy has sex in Nate’s pool in front of their classmates (not the classiest move, obviously,) he flies into a fit of rage. He shouts people out of his kitchen and smashes stuff until he comes face to face with Jules, who pulls out a knife and sikes him out until he retreats. Not all women have knives, obviously when men harass them, and men shouldn’t have to be held off by a knife to stop from playing up, but it was satisfying watching Nate get owned anyway. His influence over McKay, whom he peer pressures into treating a girl horribly in bed, will hopefully fade.

The other man Jules encounters, Cal, is a married man played by Eric Dane (McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy.) He meets Jules in a seedy motel after she cruises him online, leading to one of the more uncomfortable scenes this episode that really had no purpose other than to let on how creepy he is and that he’s Nate’s dad.

The girls in the show just do whatever they can to fit in and get by in high school unfazed. Rue uses substances, Jules uses isolation and rough exterior, and the popular girls use sex. People with cameras and classmates shaming them take their desire to explore at a young age at every turn. Jules’ friend Kat has sex for the first time after the other girls make her feel weird for not having done it.  Some turn the tables, using sexuality and influence to embarrass or shame the people giving them shit.

The whole premier’s focus was on survival in high school, in a time of social media and substances that make it almost impossible. Peer pressure, drugs, nudes and mental illness are all key motivators but it’s how each kid chooses to respond and stand out that makes the show special. Hopefully, we move from just surviving to actually thriving. We get a hint of this when Rue and Jules finally meet, and are actually kind to each other, hinting at a possibly healing, fun pairing. Either way, the show isn’t likely to slow down and has a lot of potential.

[itsclydebitches]

On that ask about show/tell, if I may, it reminds me in some ways of how Rose Quartz was treated by SU. She was always said by everyone to be perfect, yet everything associated with her in season 1 is dangerous, and what everyone says about Rose doesn’t match up with what the audience is shown. It seemed deliberate, to later sweep a rug out from under people's feet. Do you think it's possible that RWBY is setting up a similar rug with this idea of 'heroism=always right' and 'kids v adults'?

(You definitely may :D)

I’ll admit straight out that I don’t have the knowledge that a lot of other SU fans do. I’ve always watched the show purely for entertainment, mostly turning my brain off and just going along for the ride, allowing others to do the analysis, theorizing, etc. That being said, to my mind the discrepancy between show and tell in that case did seem deliberate, but the show actually acknowledged that conflict in a way RWBY has yet to. In SU we’re suppose to pick up on the disconnect and grapple with it, both to fuel interest—who is Rose Quartz really?—and, ultimately, learn more about the main characters. To provide a concrete example, we have Pearl’s obvious love and devotion, at odds with, as you say, the rather dangerous and at times even cruel choices Rose has made. We hear Pearl say “You’re wonderful” and watch her cry over Rose choosing to abandon them to give birth to Steven (among other potential flaws in her character). There’s a definite disconnect, but for me I never thought—like with RWBY—“Why is the show trying to convince me that Rose is 100% good when she’s clearly not?” The message seemed to me, “The show isn’t telling me to think anything, it’s providing me with information that I can now interpret for myself. Pearl believes Rose is 100% good, but we have seen otherwise. This tells us that Pearl’s perception is skewed. Her love has blinded her, just as their devotion and trauma have blinded the other gems. The stories they feed Steven are sanitized out of love (don’t speak ill of the dead), fear (did we lead that rebellion for nothing?), his age (he’s just a kid who lost his mom), and lack of knowledge (they don’t know a lot of what we’re shown). It makes perfect sense then that what they say doesn’t match up with our more objective knowledge. I wonder when the characters will learn/acknowledge what we the audience have known for a while: that Rose is a far more complex person than they’ve painted her as?” Which is precisely what the show does. We get to watch everyone grapple with these revelations and those arcs validate the audience’s reading of the text. We knew Rose wasn’t 100% good like everyone said she was and now we get to watch the rest of the cast catch up as they realize that. We knew that revelation was coming and anticipated it.  

This acknowledgement of the discrepancy is particularly evident through Steven. He’s the one always asking questions about his mom, expressing anger, doubt, becoming frustrated with these platitudes he’s given that don’t add up to the facts—he picks at that conflict between Rose the story and Rose the person like a scab and, because he’s our protagonist, we do too. We’re encouraged to grapple with it, question it, decide for ourselves where we fall before Rose’s true nature is finally revealed. RWBY Volume 6 had none of that. It would have been a very different story if Ruby had pushed back against the rest of the team. Or the team had pushed back against her. If our newcomer (Maria) had pushed in from the outside. If the story’s structure had provided hints (i.e. music that conveys the message that Ruby is making a mistake in attacking Cordovin as opposed to the triumphant music we got, things like that). In short, if the volume had done anything to say, “We’re providing you with multiple perspectives here that you’re meant to debate. Do you think Qrow was justified in hitting Oscar? Do you think they made the right decision in stealing the airship? We’re acknowledging that there’s no black and white thinking here.” 

Instead, the show insists it is black and white. That there’s one answer and the answer is The Protagonist Is Always Right. Every aspect of the show said loud and clear, “We agree with this! This is good! Hop on this bandwagon because absolutely no one is going to challenge it!” The closest we get to the story questioning any of the characters’ horrible actions is when the group reacts badly to Jaune attacking Oscar (and even then the show pulls back in the worst way: no one really calls Jaune out on his shit, no one reaches out to Oscar, there are no consequences to Jaune’s actions (like Oscar leaving, which everyone expected), Yang is only worried about him. The overall message is the same we got for episode after episode: the protagonists can really do no wrong. Even when we subtly acknowledge that they make mistakes there are no repercussions. There’s no growth. Those mistakes are inconsequential). It’s only through the viewer’s personal experience that we might question what’s happening on screen, because the story in no way encourages us to as SU does. It’s only thinking to ourselves, “Does someone who does all this really fit my definition of a hero?”  

Thus, there’s nothing within the story itself, to my mind, that tells me RWBY is setting up something larger; that this OOC, protagonist-centric writing is setup meant to be turned on its head. Is it possible we’ll start Volume 7 with criticism of their actions? Absolutely, but so far I’ve seen nothing that makes me terribly hopeful it will be there. At this point I expect that any push-back will be framed as largely undeserved: Ironwood reams them out for their choices but the scene is highly sympathetic towards the group. We’re supposed to feel sorry for them getting punished over something they “had” to do, not satisfied that they’re finally learning from their mistakes. We already saw it with Qrow. Rather than encouraging us to take his fears about stealing the airship seriously, we’re instead encouraged to side with the group in viewing him as a pessimistic drunk who doesn’t want them to succeed only because he’s given up, not because the plan is actually absurd. The show came down hard on the side of kids in the kids vs. adults debate, thereby undermining any criticism adults might have. The show made Ruby’s plan entertainingly badass, pulled strings to make sure it succeeded, had Cordovin change her tune in the most absurd way, Qrow too, Jinn is randomly team Ruby, they walk away with absolutely 0 consequences… from a narrative standpoint everything is telling us, “They’re heroes who did the right thing.” If even evil, mean Cordovin ends up approving of Ruby by the end of it all, who is Ironwood to question her? He must be delusional. He must be wrong. Because every other character and every plot point is holding up a neon sign claiming that Ruby is right. 

In comparing the two shows, it’s also worth keeping in mind that Steven Universe is just tighter writing all around. Is it perfect? Of course not, no show is, but it has been meticulously planned by Sugar from the get-go and I can easily see that work in the final product. When something doesn’t add up in Steven Universe, like with Rose, I have complete faith that this conflict is there for a reason. We notice it, the show confirms that we’re supposed to notice it, and it’s eventually resolved. Sadly, I don’t have nearly as much faith in RWBY’s writing. 

[hotpinkdemoness]

Call of Cthulhu: Some Tips For Aspiring Eldritch and Cosmic Horror Writers

So.

Here you are. Reading this post because the title caught your eye. Good, this means you likely will take this more seriously than most people would.

H. P. Lovecraft. That’s a name that has weaved into writing and media in a multitude of ways, for better or for worse, and almost all of those ways have both been emulated perfectly and terribly to the point of being an absolute joke.

I, for one, have noticed a hilarious and uncanny failure in most media trying to be “Lovecraftian”, a failure to capture that same kind of magic that Lovecraft’s works had in them. They usually end up missing one or two gears that make the entire machine work, the system ends up being horribly put together and rushed because they want to be “that one good Lovecraft game” or something. 

I’ve been into the whole scene for years now, and I feel like I know this stuff far better than some of these teams believe they do. So humor me as I finally get to the point here.

So before I say anything more, what am I talking about when I mention those failures? Well, I talk mostly from a gaming standpoint, but it can easily apply to other forms of media as well. Games like the most recent “Call of Cthulhu” strike me as hilariously awful, where they try so hard to “be Lovecraft” that they end up missing the mark and feeling like a total piece of garbage fanfiction written by an edgy admirer that doesn’t fully grasp the concept of the machine.

In fact, most of this rant is going to be centered around Call of Cthulhu, because I was frankly very upset with that game after being excited for it for years. It. Was. A. Total failure. I am very glad that I did not spend money on it. It’s that bad. If you want Lovecraftian goodness, that is not the game to play.

I will take this moment now to say that if you take this as me being ungrateful for a developer team’s efforts, well, I’ll give you my retort now: I wouldn’t be this angry about it if that dev team had actually put the proper time and effort into the game instead of releasing a half-baked mess that doesn’t know what it wants to be. A dev team that wants to be respected will earn that respect with a good product, not with something that is clearly slapped together without proofreading or quality control of any kind. The mentality of pointing fingers because someone is upset with how a dev team’s “hard work” is a frankly stupid one and needs to be tossed away so that these devs can actually have that criticism and learn from their mistakes.

So let’s look at what went wrong, shall we?

In most horror, there’s an untold rule. “Show, don’t tell.” Call of Cthulhu, for a game centered entirely around a premise of something barely understandable by human minds,does a lot of telling and showing. The player character magically knows what happened at a scene just by fuckin’ sniffing the air, everyone you talk to has some sort of special detail that pieces things together, you even see the horrors you should be running from or fighting head-on. My gripes with this game’s poor presentation of material are almost endless.

Simply put, they show and they tell...far, far too much for it to work. It feels like amateur writing (much like what this entire rant likely feels like!), it feels rushed. For a detective game, you don’t have to try very hard to put things together. It’s more of a two plus two kind of thing, rather than an elaborate equation that requires you to find what x is in order to solve it. It isn’t subtle, it isn’t gradual.

While we’re at it. That, uh....”shooter” sequence. 

Yeah. Uh...don’t do this. Ever. I failed to find a good .gif, but in this part you don’t have to aim, your gun kills far too easily, and there’s next to no explanation for these people needing to be shot other than “they’ve gone insane because this is Cthulhu”. It’s too easy to fight back, and they don’t tell enough.

I feel like even Mega Man does what this sequence does better. You go into Dr. Wily’s territory, not knowing what awaits you other than shit’s fucked and you’re the only hope. You have the tools to get the job done, but it’s only barely so. I mean, look at this, listen to it.

The music, the slow approach to a large wall you have to climb over, the way it invokes this “this is it, this is a big deal and it falls on my shoulders” kind of feeling. This is how you do an encounter like that and this is how you do it well. That’s not even going into the boss fights themselves! 

And that’s from a game that isn’t even remotely similar to Lovecraft’s work. This is where my point of “other games not trying to be Lovecraft do it better” comes in. Let’s take a look at another example, one that’s not 30-something years old.

Observation’s hexagonal mystery is probably the best representation of what Lovecraft’s works are that I have seen in recent gaming. The presence from start to finish of this thing, how you are slowly revealed more and more of it without being directly told anything about it. Even at the end you still have no idea what it is, why it is, how it is. You can only speculate based off of what the game has told you, but it’s not a complete picture. They tell, they show, but they deliberately don’t tell you the whole story and they sure as hell don’t show you everything. 

The sense of helplessness you feel when you have to interface with the thing, the way that ending went just before...well, I can’t really say much without spoiling it. Point is, it’s a game that has done significantly better to capture Lovecraft’s magic...and it has more focus and inspiration on Interstellar and 2001: A Space Odyssey than anything. 

They took notes, baby, and those notes paid off. I’d say they only thing they really miss there is a chance to fight back--which makes sense given the context.

For a good piece of storytelling to feel like it works in the context of being “Lovecraftian”, you don’t need cosmic monstrous godlike things. You don’t need dimensional things crawling out of paintings. You need to understand that Lovecraft’s concepts work not just because of the monsters themselves--there’s a network of things weaved together.

You’ll notice that in his works, there’s a chance that fighting back will work...but it’s improbable at best. Chances are slim, but it’s enough to instill hope. Then you realize that thing that took almost all the bullets to kill is just one of many, many more, and killing that one thing only stirred a hornet’s nest. you have no idea what you just killed, you don’t even know if you actually killed it--you only know that fleeing is your only option now, and that looking back is only going to screw you over. Sometimes fleeing isn’t an option, and things cut to black just before or in the middle of the confrontation to leave you wondering what happened.

And more often than not, the solution to the problem is far more complex than just stabbing a painting with a dagger to instantly win.

I haven’t even gone into the issues that Call of Cthulhu has that make it feel so cheap, but honestly anyone that’s played it will already know about the clipping, awkward animation, lackluster voice acting and nonsuch...it’s stuff I really don’t need to cover.

So hopefully this will have helped to kind of relay the problems and strengths with Lovecraft in media, and how to effectively write a good horror story that preys on the fear of the unknown. 

And please don’t use that one scene from Lord of the Rings to try and make your hiding scenes spooky. Please. Try something different if you really want a hiding situation to feel spooky--many other games have done it better than this.

Good god that thing just...eugh. It looks like an Aliens reject. I hate it, not because it scares me...but because it looks awful to me. 

[xodusx]

The EX FACTOR

XXL MAGAZINE- JUNE 9TH 2019

Exodus goes down in Hip Hop History as one of the youngest, controversial conscious rappers of our decade. With his political awareness tied to his music, and his hard-knock life showcased in front of the world, he never forgot who he was and remained himself through it all.

At the end of our conversation, he unexpectedly trailed off mid-sentence before the line went completely dead. Just as sharply as he was giving voice to complicated matters of the world, he was gone -- leaving what was going to be his final punch up to your imagination. While not totally ideal, in some ways, this was actually the perfect ending to a conversation with Exodus -- representative of the way he will tell you point-blank how he processes it all before challenging you, off-guard, to think a little deeper. Now, suddenly, he has you asking questions where his rock-solid answer was supposed to be: What was he going to say? Well, how would I complete that sentiment? And am I as informed as he seems to be?

All of this to say: If you're going to talk with Exodus or even listen to his album Maniac, you better come prepared.

XXL: The news is still pretty fresh that you’re overcoming yet another survival of drugs. You said in one of your interviews before that pain lead you to using again. Why do you think drugs are so prevalent as a coping mechanism?

“Well, what other coping mechanism is presented to us? I have a lot of personal experience bouncing around between psychiatrists and therapists and being fed pills, while at the same time being told that if I don’t stop doing drugs I’m gonna ruin my life. They act like what they’re giving us is not drugs. You can go into a psychiatrist sometimes and just feel that this person’s only role and their only desire is to write you a prescription, get a check and send you out the door. I really start to ask, like, at what point and time do we start holding the manufacturers of Xanax accountable? The prescribers of Xanax and Percocet, at what point and time do the people that literally make these products in labs and mass produce them yo, when are these people criminals?”

XXL: The enablers?

“Not even just enablers man, actual murderers. They are making the murder weapon, and there’s no way I can propose that this is the most effective, logical treatment for these mental illnesses.”

XXL: How would you describe mental and emotional health's relationship with hip-hop in your experience?

“Hip-hop has always been speaking about the way your brain is manipulated by stress and struggle because hip-hop is born from struggle. Point blank. It’s so potent because they come from this place of extreme struggle. At this point in time, I feel that the relationship of hip-hop and mental health and mental illness has become just blatantly obvious from a depressed, self-medicating standpoint but also strangely glorified in that these artists are taking Xanax pills on Instagram. Like, in photographs. And have created their entire wave around prescription drugs. Not only is it a piece of the music, it’s the backbone, it’s the driving force behind the image and the music.

To be honest, it’s like, on one hand I almost don’t even feel that I have a right to chastise anybody because I’ve fucking done it. I’ve rapped about Xanax. I regret it. I don’t rap about it anymore, but I have some lines about taking Xanax. I just think that we’re in such a dangerous place now because it’s been normalized and the drug abuse has been reduced to like a marketing tactic. You got Future talking about “I just rap about drugs because I know that’s what sells, that’s what people want to hear.” While people are overdosing left and right.

It’s really representative of the state of the nation, but it’s also horribly irresponsible because you got kids that idolize these people and will do anything they do. They’re being misled but their fucking heroes and getting addicted to Xans or Percocets and dying from them. So, it’s pretty fucked. My fans idolize me I don’t want them to because I’m fucked, you feel me? When I hear my fans are overdosing, It hurts , I had something to do with that. So with this album, I want to give off the message of the shit it can do to you. I’m still payin the price for it.”

For more on the interview, visit EXODUS5.com

[alpacannot]

Golden Record Project

We did a Golden Record Project in my Leader-Servant class this week where we pick five pieces of art to send pictures of into space in the event that we encounter extraterrestrial life forms, and it really was a beautiful project to do—It truly made me THINK about what I would want to say about humanity and how art should portray that. I’ve decided to share my project here for anyone that wants to read it.

Starry Night—Vincent Van Gogh

Stars and the night sky are romanticized by us, and we are always wondering if we are alone in this world. If we ever encountered alien life, I would want them to know just how innately fascinated we as a species are with things far beyond our reach. We are always searching and learning, trying to satiate our hunger for knowledge of the unknown, and that thirst for knowledge is something I would want to convey very early on. I also love the beauty of this piece—it has always served as an inspiration to me as I create art in my own way. From an analytical standpoint, this depicts the beauty of the chaotic balance between ordered serenity and archaic passions that lie within all of us. When these two aspects of humanity work together, we can truly accomplish great things. I would want extraterrestrial life forms to understand the delicate line that we as a species walk—we are always one step away from senseless good or horrifying evil. To understand the complexity of the human mind and our will is something I could explore forever, and I want to establish this early on in our contact with other life.

The Death of Socrates—Jacques-Louis David

In this painting, Socrates is calmly facing death, not openly showing distress like the others because he genuinely does not fear death—death is an old friend that Socrates will gladly go with. He uses this moment as an opportunity to teach on last lesson, the lesson of living your life the best you can and teaching virtue to your loved ones. The rich imagery is an excellent show of what humanity is capable of creating, and I think the diversity of those in the painting is important to show—this is a better representation of the different people on this Earth, regardless of the lack of women depicted. Socrates spends much of his time inquiring about virtue and what makes humanity virtuous and knowledgeable. These values are incredibly important to represent, and this painting also shows humanity’s ability to empathize and feel genuine sorrow for others, an aspect that can easily be overshadowed by our love of violence—this shows that we can be both soft and vulnerable as well as tough and immovable.

Liberty Leading the People—Eugene Delacroi

I personally love the musical Les Miserables, and this painting pairs well with their song of revolution. The subtlety of this painting is truly amazing: at first glance, the painting is nothing but chaos, but as you look closer, you can see that everything has its own order. Women are depicted a strong leaders in this work, and that is a huge landmark in humanity’s history, something I feel is very important for other life forms to understand. In previous works, women are either not seen at all or are seen as weak and submissive, an error that I feel needs to be corrected early on through the presentation of this piece. Freedom is also an important element in this painting, and in our history. One of the first things I would want to establish to alien life is the fact that we as a species are willing to fight for our freedom, regardless of the costs.

Sistine Chapel: Creation of Adam—Michelangelo

It is said that Michelangelo was never satisfied with the finished product that he was forced to leave on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I believe this serves as a wonderful representation of humanity—we are never satisfied with what we have done, regardless of how much praise we may receive. This is one of the aspects unique to humanity—no other species on this planet has shown the capacity to feel this. I also wanted to represent the best works of art that we have to offer, works of art that evoke emotions. Also, if you look closely at the borders of the painting, the human brain is accurately pictured, something I feel would be beneficial to portray without distracting from the painting—it’s just a nice addition. The painting also portrays the process of birth through analysis of color, draping of fabric, and other shapes in the painting. Birth is something that ties us to every other living creature in this world, and I’d like to believe that this is something we would have in common with other life forms not from this planet.

Winged Victory of Samothrace

On the subject of aesthetics, I personally don’t think any sculptures can match those of the Greeks. This particular statue captures the elegance of the goddess Nike while still paying incredible attention to the details of her clothes being blown in the wind. The sheer dynamic of the pose alone is enough to convey the complexity of humanity—the balance between violent movement and the stillness of marble. I feel that this piece is one of the best showcases of what humanity ever had to offer, while still alluding to our tendency of violent beauty. I think the background of this piece, having been made to celebrate the victory of a sea battle, accurately summarizes what we as a race value so much today—strength, yes, but also a sense of ruthless violence embedded in even our youngest of children. We have lost our sensitivity to the gruesome nature of war, and I think that is well represented in the horrible beauty of this statue.

[repeatsfate]

A, K, R!!

vidya games!

K – game you’re most looking forward to? 

at the moment it’s super mario odyssey and pokemon ultra sun and moon! and, uh… my inner 12 year old is rearing her ugly head to force me to admit i’m also pretty hyped for sonic forces, oops. lOOK IT LOOKS FUN, OKAY…

i’m looking forward to fe musou too but also i’m pretty neutral on it– everything they’ve revealed has been super incredible so far and i’m looking forward to maining my birb, but i’m more interested in the confirmed fe16 and i’m looking forward to hearing more about that when the time comes.

R – most underrated game? 

hmmmm… while xenoblade chronicles itself would certainly fit the bill despite shulk being a giant meme now, i think i’ll take it a step further and go on to say xenoblade chronicles x deserves a bit more love than it got– 

despite the very real flaws with the game and some aspects of the story, a thing that draws me to it aside from the ‘if you can see it, you can go to it’ MASSIVE open world and setting on a foreign planet was just how human its supporting cast and even minor npcs are. the game does an excellent job of portraying raw humanity in both ends of the spectrum– where there are heroes, there are people even in man’s most desperate hour that took that second chance as an excuse to be horrible, horrible people. the encounter of alien life goes as swimmingly as you expect, with the remaining fragments of humanity split on how to deal with these new beings in their midst. some choose to try and form alliances and bonds, the others shun and fear the outsiders– many quests actually revolve around the racism in what’s supposed to be a safe haven for the aliens pledging themselves to humanity’s side. the conflict taking up the last leg of the game is one born of human grief and the sting of loss– and when you really get into the motivations behind it it’s so easy to understand why the person did what they did but also acknowledge yeah no you did bad buddy you gotta pay for it now. i just???? it’s so good????

the planet and creatures that make up the game’s setting are imaginative and beautiful, i honestly love just booting it up and wandering. sometimes it’s scary as all heck because OH GOD GIANT MONSTER OUT OF NOWHERE but also… that just adds to the immersion and feeling like you’re a tiny fish in a big, big sea… and when you’re strong enough to stand up to those monsters it’s the most satisfying thing in the world.

the musical direction is honestly up to taste- i personally adore xcx’s soundtrack, but those not a huge fan of hiroyuki sawano’s works might find it lacking. here’s a personal favourite! 

point is, it’s super fun, i want to do an araceli run sometime if i can ever be arsed to go back on my wii u or it gets a switch port, and a verse would be fun to play around with… i’m not a huge jrpg person, but i really really like xcx. also, fans of matthew mercer– he’s in this one, too! he plays lao huang, one of my all time favourite characters tbh

point is it is flawed, yes, but it’s also a very solid jrpg that i had fun sinking hours into and i’d totally do so again

A – favourite game of all time? 

my top fave game of all time? easy! it’s the legend of zelda: wind waker! 

it wins in both nostalgia points and a critical eye as i’ve gotten older– as a little kid, it was the first game i ever actually beat all by myself! the gamecube was the first home console i ever got to own– for a while i lived with my granny, who wasn’t very big on gaming if that makes sense? and then after moving back in with my mom she got me one for christmas and a friend lent me wind waker after i tried playing it at his house and repeatedly got stuck in the forsaken fortress. the excitement of finally making it past that and seeing this big, bright, beautiful world and story unfold before me has stuck with me to this day?? idk how to explain it i just. wind waker was an important game in my childhood, and i’ve played through it a loooooot– mostly i’ve noticed it was during times of stress or particular loneliness. everyone has that one game that’s been there™ for them during times of duress, and wind waker has always been mine. 

okay i’m read more-ing the rest of this because i… went on for a WHILE. which is also why i answered it last oops. tl;dr there are many reasons why i love this game and it’s still my fave even now that i’m nearly 23. 

as an adult, i’ve found that from a technical standpoint the game holds up really well, too– even without the hd remake on the wii u wind waker is still a very beautiful, stylistic game; a major benefit to having taken the art in a more cartoony direction is that it prevents the game from aging too much; if you were to look at the vanilla gamecube edition now, it still holds up amazingly! (meanwhile, i find that while twilight princess is still lovely, the more realistic art direction tends to date it a little. i could look at the original and just know the era it was made in, whereas if i never saw wind waker before, i would question it.) 

the textures are rather blurry, sure, but that was a product of the time– hypatia on tumblr actually produced a mod with hd textures for roms of the gamecube version– check out these comparasion shots of the then-work in progress mod versus the original textures… and then here’s a few polished shots of the mod with a few extra effects dolphin/ishiiruka can provide. in short, the original wind waker is a very, very beautiful game and age has done very little to tarnish that even with the remake’s updated graphics. 

but obviously graphics don’t make or break a game, though proper presentation is important– wind waker’s story also resonates with me deeply in various aspects. as an older sister, the initial quest to set out and rescue your younger sibling in danger caught my attention and held it fast; they do a very good job of making you feel attached to aryll, and the scene where she is kidnapped always tugs at my heartstrings every time i see it. watching this young boy who lived the world’s most quiet little life on a tiny island suddenly get swept up into this grand, big adventure to rescue someone dear to him and becoming an actual hero – despite having no relation to oot link whatsoever! – is the quintessential coming of age story that most people can relate to, and watching that change as the game plays out is always really sweet???

 it was nice watching link’s development through his little actions: the backing away from helmaroc king when he first storms the fortress and then confident staring it down the second time and then giving it what for– aside from ganondorf himself that’s my favourite boss in the game if only because of those moments of development. link’s not just some kid from outset in over his head anymore– he’s a hero who overcame the trials of the goddesses himself in the name of protecting his baby sister, and he will not fail again. and then, after he could easily just throw in the towel and take his sister home because he accomplished what he set out to do, link goes on and sees it through to the end anyways because restoring order to the world is the right thing to do– there’s no legacy of knights looming over his head like several of his other incarnations. there’s no grand kingdom, there are only desolate little islands. there’s a princess, but… he barely knows her. hell, she didn’t even know she was a princess until that moment. 

the story also touches on themes of death and the ends of eras… but also ends on a note of hope and new beginnings– clinging to the past only leads to ruin, and we must create opportunities for ourselves and the world to grow. hyrule is actually completely washed away by the end, and ganondorf goes with it– unless we assume breath of the wild is in the adult timeline, that’s it. he’s gone FOREVER in the subsequent games, with bellum and malledeus taking his place as the main villain. the kingdom link and tetra found is called new hyrule, but that’s all they share in significance– it’s their own land, just like the king said. that final scene of wind waker with the king always got to me– that message of hope is so poignant and powerful, i just. i don’t know how to put it into words, but it’s a scene i love dearly. 

then there’s the music and cast of characters, and even quests and gameplay? i know the sailing could get tedious but i always liked it; it was relaxing to me just watching the virtual waves and listening to that beautiful score?? the characters are all bright and unique and fun– they’ve got their own little lives and you can impact them in so many different ways and things definitely change once you do?? like starting windfall vs windfall after you do a few sidequests or even turn on the ferris wheel and lighthouse again feel so different? it’s a neat little detail i’ve always found!!

…i really need to stop rambling about wind waker now i actually dozed off a bit typing this post, oops.

[musicalsandfeminism]

The musical Waitress based on the film of the same name, is one of female friendship, motherhood, and marriage. Jenna’s story explores the intricacies of womanhood and serves as an overall feel-good story, though it’s riddled with roadblocks.

Her relationships with the men in her life tend to be filled with emotional turmoil. Her husband is abusive and negligent, and Jenna is wholly unhappy in her relationship with him. In an effort to distract her from her horrible relationship with her husband, she begins an affair with her OB/GYN. Neither of them are truly happy with one another, but they each serve as a distraction from the routine of home and, for Jenna, the mistrust and abusiveness of her home. The only man in the musical who she has a “good” relationship with is Joe, the owner of the Diner she works at. His song “Take it from an Old Man” is one filled with hope for her future. Jenna’s standpoint as a woman abused by her husband makes her view of other men both tainted, yet also has lowered the standards. Just because someone isn’t abusive, doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to stay with them by any means. 

Jenna’s relationships with her coworkers/friends and her job, in general, are one of the happiest parts of her life. She loves to bake, and the women she works with are extraordinarily supportive of her and completely believe in her. In “What Baking Can Do”, Jenna reflects on the importance of baking in her life, and how it serves as the main solace from her home life. 

The biggest part of Jenna’s story, though, is motherhood. At the beginning of the musical, she discovers she is pregnant and that the father is her abusive husband. Her growing connection with her unborn baby throughout the musical is what keeps her going. The song “Everything Changes” remarks on how even though her life has been filled with ups and downs up to the birth of her daughter, with her child in her life, life is enormously better. Her standpoint as a mother allows for her to be more affectionate and hopeful because she has something to life for other than herself. 

Waitress brings a sense of hope to the lives of women everywhere. Jenna’s story, though there are numerous bad parts to it, to put it simply, is still one of joy. The joy found in motherhood, work, and friendship are pleasures just as important as romance, and the musical makes sure to emphasize that fact. Women are inherently amazing and Waitress brings that fact to light. Waitress also made sure to highlight women off and on the stage. The production team was 100% female, from set design, to lyrics, to lighting.