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yuraimi-lee-bunny · 4 years

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GRAY’S CHARACTER ANALYSIS PART III. AMNESIA AND IT’S FUTURE CONSEQUENCES

Hello! Once again: sorry for the lateness 8'D. My work, some illustrations and personal matters have slowed me down again. The good thing is that there is nothing that can be intervened and this week I will be able to go faster with the writing of my analysis. Thank you very much for the continued support you have given to the previous two parts, and I hope you like this one too!

PS: My analysis will continue as normal, I will not mention anything about the recent interview with the show runner of the series. Perhaps that will be done at the end of the analysis or a separate post, by the time Gray's analysis is complete. Besides that I have already been giving my views on what Duane said about Gray. For the moment I just want my analysis to be about everything that I captured and analyzed before the interview.

Here we go!

Goodbye (for now) to Gray/Crackle, and let's say hi to Graham!

As we know, Crackle had all his VILE-related memories erased, and he’s now a happy civilian at his previous job as an electrician at the Sydney Opera House. On a mission to Australia, Carmen finds him but he doesn't recognize her.

Carmen doesn’t understand how it happened and why VILE did it, but for his sake, she prefers to get away from her, because she doesn’t want to complicate the new beginning that Gray/Graham has now in her life.

To be honest, I don't have much to analyze in depth about Gray in these chapters where he has amnesia, even so, there are several points to highlight about him that speak more about his personality in this episode:

1.- When he taking out Carmen with her phrase "No wristband, no backstage access", I think I can safely say that he’s committed to his job, whatever it is. (as an electrician and also a VILE agent)

2.- He has great self-confidence and temperance for having invited Carmen for a coffee, a girl he barely knew but who shows that he has a slight attraction for her.

3.- Well, let's say that this confirms that he likes to be somewhat "naughty" and daring with his actions.

4.- I may be exaggerating here, but I think that with the previous points that I have said, this can also count: It seems that Gray is a punctual person. He arrived before Carmen. (He’s very punctual or he was very excited about the "date")

Ep.6 S1 served as a small introduction by Gray, or rather now Graham, of how now he has amnesia, he doesn't remember anything about VILE, or Carmen, a whole year "disappeared", as well as the decision of Carmen about being away from Gray so as not to complicate his life. Leaving a slight reminder of "you'll still see him again" for us.

Which did happen, in Ep.7 of S2. In addition to the fact that again there are some data that show about his personality, this time the episode left some clues that it was happening to him and the future that would hold him in the following seasons.

1.- It seems that he was serious that this place is his favorite coffee shop, and it seems that he likes coffee.

2.- That tranquility is to be admired. The girl he invited for coffee who looked like she had dumped him, and there wasn’t a hint of anger/resentment/indignation in him. Again, like when they first met: as if nothing had happened. I love that about him. And he continues to correct Carmen about his name. He is Graham, not Gray (not Crackle). It seems somehow that he cares about being told by his respective name, as if the subject of his "identity" is important to him. We will move on to that later.

3.- Can we look this screenshot for a moment, please? Leaving aside the “Red Crackle” feeling that can emerge at this time for many (myself included), I want to talk about the fact that there continues that communication with only the look that they have always had.

The first two chapters of the series showed you several scenes of how Carmen and Gray just by looking at each other communicated what they thought, they knew they wanted to say to each other. I mention this because to me, these glances between them were purposely done with the following objective: Yes, Gray will have had his VILE memories suppressed, but body memory is another matter, the subconscious is something that NOBODY can handle or manipulate. Gray's body responded to Carmen's glances subconsciously, the body responded because of body memory, because it already has that mechanism in the presence of Carmen.

4.- There is a theory/belief that a few weeks ago they shared which if I can believe it 50/50 because it sounds valid. In summary. Since Gray is an orphan, Carmen knew that by mentioning that she runs an international charity for abandoned children, he would not refuse. Because she knows he's an orphan, and it seems that somehow, Gray has had a mark on it. She left you the link.

5.- Again, maybe I'm exaggerating, b Gray/Graham seems to have very good manners.

6.- He likes Rock. (And before I thought it was a slight preview of Carmen's next cappers, but it was only an idea *sobbing*)

7.-

This scene causes me a little laugh because of a personal event and because it shows an interesting side of Gray/Graham:

- Personal event: Several friends and I were watching the episodes of the second season on the day of its premiere, when arriving at this scene, a friend said "Well of course, he will have amnesia but he isn’t stupid" I laughed uncontrollably, and in part, he had a bit of reason.

- This scene in addition to putting tension at the moment because Graham did something that wasn't in Carmen's plans, it shows how Gray/Graham is someone who needs answers/explanations when he something doesn't understand, or when he thinks they lied to him and he just goes to look for them. Because if he were too passive or behaved, he would have stayed to follow orders. Another thing he could do is just make judgments from his perspective, regardless of reality. But no, he stood up, and he couldn't wait another second for the answers. The truth is something that matters to him. And I think he's also somewhat rebellious. He makes sense because throughout the series it's noticed as if he wants/needs something, certainly does what he needs to do. I consider him too independent and confident that he can achieve it.

8.- His peculiar expression of surprise: Crikey.

9.- Another reminder that his subconscious and unconscious have memories of what he lived in VILE.

10.- Beautiful Red Crackle scenes that in addition to adding feeling, actually matter a lot for Gray / Crackle's empathy in the future, but that will be for part 4 of the analysis.

11.-

…Seriously Gray? EXCUSE ME Graham. SERIOUSLY? You fell, you could have hit severely or even broken something, Carmen cares about you, and instead of saying "I'm fine" do you say "It's Graham"?! ... Seriously he cares a lot about the name and identity.

As you can see, in this episode there was more about Gray and his personality, but it also hinted that there are still vestiges of memories in the back of his mind of that year in VILE and of having been Crackle. It's very curious about how Graham trusts Carmen so much, I think I know the reasons behind it, the first is because he has an attraction towards Carmen, but the most important are two: the first is because he already knows more about her, because Carmen had the confidence to ask him for help in one of his missions and to tell him in some way what she does. The second reason, again: his subconscious. As I mentioned in the previous analysis parts, Gray appreciated Carmen very much, and although before he could mistake it as "loyalty" and see her as her family, he still appreciated her very much. Her subconscious, her body, her instinct is still there, so I don't hesitate to defend her when she was in trouble with Neel. (His desire to help Carmen was greater than the "great memory and liking" he previously had for Crackle Rod.)

And well, now, let's move on to two last things before ending this episode:

1.- ACME is targeting Gray. Once again, we were told that it would not be the last time we would see him. More events awaited him.

2.-

This phrase left me so thoughtful when I watched it. It left me thinking TOO MUCH.

It left me pondering that phrase so much because I didn't understand why that mattered so much to him. We talked about how Gray/Crackle came into VILE, he agreed to be a villain, he basically agreed to be "bad guy" And now that he has amnesia, he cared about being on the right side. Which I didn't understand because Crackle's memory had been "erased". He had only "eliminated" him the whole year that he lived in VILE, just that. Doing that doesn't change his morale, because Gray had already arrived at the "Vocational School" with his morale of wanting to steal, he was already ambitious before joined to VILE. Which had me very intrigued, believing that something had happened to Graham, in that period of his "normal life" that had made him reconsider his morals and that now he wanted to do something good. I expected everything, whatever, except the change in morals. And so, wild first 5 minutes from S4 comes...

... are you telling me that EVERYTHING Gray thought, did and said in his state of amnesia... WERE LIES!?

I really couldn't believe it and that puts an absolutely huge twist on Gray's arc. Although my boyfriend and I are with a certain difference in perspective to what Maelstrom said:

When he mentioned “suppress the criminal impulse” to me he meant that VILE changed his morale, that they basically took away that “evil impulse” so that he wouldn’t be caught again by the law should it happen at some point. Ensuring that with memory removed and morale changed, VILE was safe.

My boyfriend on the other hand, interpreted it that they only took away the "desire to steal", nothing more. His morals, his beliefs, everything about him remains the same, except wanting to steal or do something criminal. Believing that in reality, Gray is a good person, since before entering VILE.

The perspective of my boyfriend is interesting to me and that is why I want to share it, to know what you think, and also mentioned it because this perspective will be taken up again in part 4 of the analysis.

And here concludes the third part! I hope you liked it. Parts 4 and 5 will be a bit long because it’s the most dense and symbolic part of Gray to analyze, but at the same time, they will come out on time faster, it may be that in the following week both parts are ready and published. Regards!

Part. I Introdution

Part. II Empathy vs Ambition

Part. III Amnesia and it’s Future Consequences (HERE)

Part. III.5 Graham Calloway: The Walking Enigma

Part. IV Integrity At a high (and unfair) price

Part. V The final decision and a new beginning

Plus 1. Gray and his strange habit of explaining things

Plus 2. Crossover: Sabrina And Gray: New Beginning

Plus 3. Crossover: Hawk/Eli and Crackle/Gray: Redemption

#carmen sandiego #graham calloway #red crackle #carmen sandiego netflix #graham crackle #carmen sandiego 2019 #eve's analysis #graham #gray #crackle

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finnishcrimestory · 3 years

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The lake Bodom murders

On 4th of June 1960 vocational school students Maila Irmeli Björklund (15) and her friend Anja Tuulikki Mäki (15) accompanied their mutual friends Nils Wilhelm Gustafsson (18) and Seppo Antero Boisman (18) and went camping to the shore of the lake Bodom, located in Högnäs Espoo. It wasn't a long time after the murders that happened in the Tulilahti camping site (only one year) so the parents of the girls weren't exactly happy to let their daughters going to the trip, but they let them go on the last minute. They went with the boys’ motorcyckles and set their camp and tent near a local beach. They hung out and went to sleep around 12 am. After only couple hours of sleep however they woke up and at that time the two guys went fishing. After that they all went back to sleep.

Little is known what happened next, but on 5th of June early in the morning someone attacked the youngsters hitting them in the head with something heavy and blunt. Boisman and Björklund were also stabbed, Björklund over 10 times. The murderer stabbed them through the tent fabric. The primary cause of death for Boisman, Björklund and Mäki was skull fracture. Nils Gustafsson was able to flee from inside the tent, but the killer hit him on the head possibly with a rock. He was the only one to survive the attack but he had multiple fractures on his skull as well. Gustafsson was found laying on top of the collapsed tent and he spent weeks in a hospital and made full recovery.

The victims were found on the next morning after people started to arrive at the beach. Gustafsson was alive like previously stated, but he was barely conscious. The police was quickly on the scene and during the same day they were able to conduct multiple stop checks and the biggest ever terrain exploration around the area. During this exploration the police were able to find 88 wanted people but were unable to find the killer.

The victims were missing their belongings, including their wallets and some of their clothing. Some of the clothing and shoes belonging to Gustafsson were found about a half a kilometers away from the scene, hidden away behind a rock. Other belongings and a jacket belonging to Boisman were never found during the investigation.

The murder weapon was never found. Gustafsson told the investigators that after they went to sleep he doesn't remember anything. There were eye witnesses, but what they were able to see were just some movement on the shore. 14 year old Olavi Kivilahti saw a blond man wearing a light colored shirt walking past the camp about 50 meters away, but Olavi was nearsighted and he wasn't wearing any glasses so his sighting is questionable. The police received over 50 notices of the blond man to the end of July but none of those resulted in an arrest.

After some time had passed and the police still had no idea who had murdered the youngsters, they decided to hypnotize Gustafsson. It was conducted on 2nd to 5th of July 1960. The 14 year old boy Olavi was also hypnotized couple times. During the hypnosis both of them described the suspect and drawings were done based on the descriptions, but it didn't lead to anything. Gustafsson described a man who cut a hole on the tent and hit them with a knife and with a metal pipe.

The description for the killer was: aged around 20 to 30 years old, not young nor old, height about 173-174 cm (5'8), normal body type (heavier than Gustafsson though), round face, red cheeks, long blond hair combed back, normal ears with round earlobes, high wrinkled forehead, big eyes (color unknown), straight nose (not long nor short), normal light eyebrows, bold lips, strong jaw, short neck, white teeth (unknown if some are missing), big and thick fingers; special characteristics: pimples on forehead and cheeks. Clothing: plaid shirt with black buttons (buttoned up all the way), shirt contains many colors, at least black and green.

Suspects

Pauli Luoma

At first the police were searching a man that had been spotted in the area carrying a bag belonging to the victims. He had black beard and he was walking with a bicycle. He had also been spotted coming out from the forest wearing a bloody shirt. He was Pauli Kustaa Luoma, a runaway from a labor camp who had an alibi for the night. He had been in Otaniemi, Espoo during the murders. Otaniemi is 19 kilometers (11 miles) away from the lake Bodom which is about 23 minute trip.

Pentti Soininen (b. around 1945, d. 1969)

At the end of 1960, 24 year old Pentti Soininen confessed while in Kuopio prison that he murdered the youngsters. During the murders he was 15 years old and it was true that he had been near the lake during the murders, because he had run away from approved school. The police interrogated him but they did not give much weight to his confession. Soininen was described as a psychopath who could act in a very peculiar ways especially under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Soininen had a long list of crimes under his name: thefts, assaults and robberies. Soininen committed suicide by hanging in Toijala train station while he was being transferred to a prison in 1969.

Valdemar Gyllström (b. 1909, d. 1969)

Karl Valdemar Gyllström was a suspect for a long time. He was known to hate campers and he often acted aggressively. His nickname was "Kiosk-man" because he apparently had a kiosk. He drowned himself to the lake Bodom in 1969 and people said he confessed murdering the youngsters before this. His neighbor told that he had said: "It was me who killed them". Gyllström had apparently filled and closed his well on his yard couple days after the murders and that led to his house and yard being carefully searched. However nothing was found, though it is possible all the stolen belongings had been discarded. Gyllström's son-in-law has been told to be certain that the murder weapon lies at the bottom of the closed and filled well. According to the police, Gyllström had an alibi for the night, an alibi that had been confirmed by Gyllström's wife. His wife had told that she had been up all night and according to her, Gyllström hadn't left the house. However, shortly before the wife died she told that Gyllström had threatened to kill her if she told the truth. What truth? Who knows.

Hans Assman (b. 1923, d. 1998)

One of the most known suspect was German-born Hans Assman, who has also been suspected to being a KGB spy. On 6th of June 1960 Assman was brought to Helsinki surgical hospital where he acted in a very weird way. People in the hospital also noticed how unkempt Assman was: his fingernails were very dirty and his clothes were full of red stains. Assman lied to the hospital staff the reason for his condition but he told the truth about his way of living (he lived about 5 km (3 miles) away from the lake). He also pretended to being unconscious and he was aggressive and nervous. Assman's description reminded a lot of the description of the suspect. When the news informed the characteristics of the suspect, Assman cut his hair short.

Jorma Palo who at the time worked in the hospital as an amanuensis was very certain Assman was the killer. Many people from the hospital's staff also agreed with Palo. The police met with Assman very briefly and they did not want to discuss with the hospital staff. They also did not take Assman's stained clothes for inspection. Palo later wrote three books about the murders and about Assman. Former detective inspector Matti Paloaro connected Assman to five other murders as well, among them the murder of Kyllikki Saari and even the death of minister Penna Tervo. Assman was a perfect match for the description given by Gustafsson and Olavi. However according to the police Assman had a perfect alibi. It wasn't revealed for the public that time though, because it had a sensitive nature.

The documents about Assman became public in 2005. According to them Assman had been with his girlfriend during the night. She lived as a subtenant and her landlord and -lady saw Assman sitting eating breakfast in the morning. The documents verify that then 36 year old Assman did spent the night in the apartment (located in Helsinki) during the murders. Assman had had this affair going on for years (he had a wife). Assman slept in the same bed with his 33 year old girlfriend. The bedroom door had been open for the entire night and no one noticed Assman leaving at any point during the night (apparently if he would’ve left, it would have been noticed). Assman woke up at 9 am and at that time the murders had already been committed and the first passerby's had noticed the collapsed tent. According to the police the red stains on Assman's clothing were paint that he had used while at work. Jorma Palo was the one who suspected Assman being a KGB agent and that he was being protected. The police has been saying that Palo's books were pure fiction.

Two people fishing

The two young men who were fishing on the lake during the murders were never identified. They never came forward to the police even though it was asked multiple times. What was weird is that the two men left the fish they caught behind. Nothing is known of them.

Nils Gustafsson

44 years after the murders in 2004 the lone survivor Nils Gustafsson was suddenly arrested as a suspect. The blood samples gathered from the tent supported Gustafsson being the perpetrator. The police also informed that DNA technology revealed things that couldn't be found back in the 60s. However during the trial nothing significant was uncovered from the samples.

Gustafsson has been saying he doesn't remember anything about the murders since the day one and that hasn't changed. He thinks he got brain damage from the attack and that resulted to amnesia. During the trial an important point was to find out whether the blows to his head were strong enough to result to amnesia. The prosecutors tried strongly to belittle the injuries Gustafsson suffered and they claimed he exaggerated them.

According to the prosecutors Gustafsson and Seppo Boisman had been drinking on the night of the murders and then started to have an argument. The prosecutors also claimed that Maila Björklund had turned down Gustafsson's sexual advances and this would've led to Gustafsson losing his temper. The claim is supported by the stabbing wounds on Björklund's body: according to the coroner she was stabbed 15 times.

The district court excluded all the charges on 7th of October 2005. According to it nothing proved that Gustafsson murdered his friends. They disqualified the jealousy claims also. They excluded everything because the eye witness sightings were pointing to an outsider perpetrator.

The investigation and trial got a lot of attention but Gustafsson was freed in 2005. The prosecutors did not complain about the verdict to the court of appeals.

Gustafsson gave one very rare press conference. During it journalists were very aggressive with their approach and pointed out the illogical things in the things he had said: it was weird he claimed he didn't remember anything but at the same time he remembered that he for sure wasn't the one who murdered his friends. Gustafsson didn't explain himself further though, he stated: "I am innocent and that's that."

The National Bureau of Investigation had an investigator who testified something very interesting. He claimed that after Gustafsson had been arrested he had said: "What is done is done, I got fifteen years", which was seen to be a confession. This testify wasn’t told immediately though, it was only told during the trial. Gustafsson himself said he doesn't remember saying anything like that and if he did, it was simply a joke. The district court stated that it wasn't investigated properly. They also said: "The fact that the saying did not lead to any action points to the fact that even if Gustafsson would've said it, it wasn't a confession and even the investigator who heard it in the first place did not think that way either during the time."

To this day the murders are still unsolved and it is believed by many Finns that they will never be solved.

#bodom #the lake bodom #murder #Finland #Finnish #unsolved #true crime #the lake bodom murders #history #finnish crime

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badfauxmance · 3 years

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Alejandra & Real Estate Agents

I’m actually going to close the Ask function soon. However I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m going to delete any further Asks about this Real Estate agent thing. It’s just repeating something that I don’t know is actually significant.

Anon 1: When do you think Ale will be returning to Spain, her 90 days are almost over for the VISA.

We’re not even sure if she’s still in L.A. anymore. It’s been 50/50 for weeks ever since her birthday. She’s been involved with some possibly old pictures and videos. We don’t know if this means these are sad attempts at coming up with baits to get attention or if they’re covering up the fact she’s not in the US anymore. We legit DO NOT KNOW. Your guesses are just as good as ours at this point.

If she’s still in the US, she’s probably leaving soon because like it’s been pointed out if she’s on a 90 day visa, it’ll expire in July.

Anon 2: Seems like she is staying in the SoCal area for the long run. She also followed someone who seems to specialize in securing loans for non citizens. Well good luck to her

She’ll also need to get a residency status to stay in the US for an extended period of time if she’s seriously planning to move to L.A. Like I said in earlier asks it’s mildly entertaining to see if she actually get any acting gigs other than stereotypical roles (because this is what Hollywood is good at doing with casting non-Anglo/non-white actors) or very minor parts. We’re honestly not impressed with a rich girl using the tactics she does to try to “cut the line” ahead of other actresses who are really working hard to get noticed. Meanwhile this girl does the typical rich person tactic of throwing money at barriers to get her in the door. However if she hasn’t learned by now, Hollywood isn’t just a money town

Anon 3: Hopefully only one more week or so of this shit show because my god if this turns out to be real. seb honey. Wtf.

We certainly hope this will be over soon. His reputation will go further in the toilet on the internet if it continues and they’re stupid enough to extend this nonsense longer than it has to.

Anon 4: Aight so everyone’s panicking about this dude she followed..she also followed a mortgage broker shortly after.. BUT. It doesn’t mean shit. Before they both followed ale they followed a girl called carmen jorda who is a spanish racing driver, currently in the US and is apparently a friend of ale’s. From this it just looks like a social thing and not anything anyone should be fussing about..take a breath guys 😂❤️

Unless something actually happens as a result of her associating with these agents, it’s kind of meaningless and a non-issue. I mean she’s also friending Brett Ratner. Unless she gets cast in his next project or whatever, them following each other doesn’t really mean anything.

#alejandra onieva #when will this trainwreck stop?#wannabes just wanna be famous #we are counting down to when this contract is over

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cerastes · 4 years

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SO AMONG THE 72 Arts of the Shaolin Temple, there is one named Tie Shan, or Iron Shirt, which everyone here is familiar with. You know the typical body hardening techniques of hard Chinese martial arts you usually see in Wu Xia? Like when this small and thin dude gets smashed by a giant of a man wielding a tree or a steel pipe and, against all expectations, it doesn’t do jack shit against the dude and instead the log explodes into splinters or the pipe gets bent? That’s Iron Shirt.

The guiding principle of it is to use “qi” (efficient breathing techniques and thoroughly trained muscle tightening) to harden the shit out of your body, usually one body part where you focus the absolutely totality of your attention and kickasstitude. It’s like when the sci fi ship its getting its teeth kick right through its asshole and the captain says “REDIRECT ALL ENERGY INTO SHIELDS!”, it’s basically that, but you train to actually be able to do that in the one-person crew stellar spaceship that is your body, and instead of a proton beam, you are blocking the punch thrown by the blistering white supernova of ire that is the kid at GameStop after you buy the last copy of 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand.

BASICALLY, it’s not so much a whole school in and of itself as much as a discipline you Responsibly Consider in the mastery of the overall fucked and wide scheme of Shaolin martial arts. But, as one of the 72 Arts, it gets its own full backstory because the ancient Chinese people never once fucked around in their entire lives throughout the Dynasties. Don’t believe me? Consider that Jing Ke was just an alcohol-loving scholar who just so happened to love dabbling in swordsmanship, and he spawned the fucking cusp of all anarchist legends, and well deservedly, too, but my point is, the moment the Chinese saw a dope ass technique, that shit NEEDED a backstory, else it would just fall short of the hype their real life entailed.

For real, I really wanna sit down one day and talk about how fucking crazy Chinese myths are simply because their daily lives were worthy of 45 minute long OVAs that leave wanting more: To be ancient Chinese is to live generations upon generations in “Current Events”, in shit that now shows up on history books as “And This Fucking Madhouse Was Going On Over Yonder, In Case You Pondered”. How the fuck do you make mythos attractive and relevant to The People if it fails to outdo Current, Real Events in the “Bruce Willis Shooting a Gatling Gun” meter? You don’t, which is why for every fucking blade of grass that swayed by the wind in old China, there was a specific reason, a legend, and a moral of the story as to why that shit happened, otherwise literally nobody would’ve fucking cared about the grass, the wind, or the swaying.

But today is not that day, today is the day I tell you about IRON SHIRT.

So anyway, the lore behind redirecting all of your energy into your balls so you could tank a kick to the huevos and possibly redirect damage to your opponent by breaking their foot with your mighty pain baby sacks finds its humble origins with our main man, Zhou Tong (who must not be confused with Zhou Tong, archery teacher of general Yue Fei of the Song Dynasty, two different people) in the very self-descriptive story known as... I’m not gonna tell you the title just yet because it kinda fucking spoils the story, which is something the old Chinese were fucking bad about, aight, but trust me, anyway, Zhou Tong! Zhou Tong was just taking a stroll down the road, going places as he usually did, when over yonder, he spotted, without any exaggeration or glamour, an absolute chunkster of a lad, an absolute unit, Agent Fat Fucck’s respected ancestor, a BIG BOY. This dude was MASSIVE and WELL BUILT. So Zhou Tong looks at this mother fucker real good, hits him with that Scan Lv.3, and comes to the very fair and safe conclusion that this man looked forward to humiliating him, if “very fair and safe” also encapsulated “paranoid fucking old man”. See, to be fair to Zhou Tong, he WAS a renowned master of martial arts, and if there’s anything you should know about martial arts, it’s that a great number of martial artists are always looking for that big break, that “get my name out there for those in the know”, and the shortest route to that is to beat up a renowned master. It’s why Bruce Lee always had challengers! It’s why this one time, this one dude threatened Bruce Lee’ family in order to get Bruce to fight him, which is about the single worst possible fucking idea you can get. Drinking molten glass with a dab of lemon is a better idea than picking a malicious fight with Bruce Lee, and yet, here we fucking are! And in case you’re curious, Bruce Lee demolished that dude, but anyways, the thing is, Zhou Tong was, like, 17% justified in thinking this way.

So what he did was what any other person would: He started redirecting all of his energy into his right shoulder. See, the way they were walking, they were going to walk by each other while crossing a bridge, so Zhou Tong was like “this mother fucker wishes to humiliate me by chucking me into the bridge in front of the hoes!”, so Tong, as a master of Iron Shirt, focuses like 1700 Magic Points into his right shoulder, which turns red, and then purple as it becomes harder than rock, harder than iron, harder than spending 5 minutes away from the boys, under his clothes. So, the fated moment comes, they brush shoulders, and the Big Boy gets fucking Destructo-Blasted. Big Boy was almost knocked out of the bridge just from brushing his shoulder. It was so painful that he was pouring saliva and the entire right side of his body was left numb until the next day. Zhou Tong fucking DUNKED on Big Boy and avoided being publicly humiliated in front of girls, the greatest accolade you could possibly append to any student of arts most martial.

Except.

It was a misunderstanding.

That Big Boy was none other than Wu Song, his future student. Wu Song didn’t even notice Tong, he was looking at his own feet and minding his footsteps because he didn’t wanna get his feet wet after last night’s rain.

So, I IMPLORE YOU, the reader, to hold my hand (platonically) and accompany me through a reconstruction of the events through Wu Song’s perspective:

There was a freak rain last night in a place known for how dry it is. You only have shit ass sandals, and there’s a trillion puddles of water between you and your destination. You, as a certified Immense Chunk Man, have large trotters and don’t wanna step in a puddle because then you get the common cold and then you fucking die because this is somewhere around the year 1121 CE and medicine amounted to “these pleasant aromas and needles either heal you or you fucking die”. You take extra care to not get the common cold by minding your steps, and suddenly, out of absolutely fucking nowhere, you get Destructo-Blasted while crossing a bridge, you get utterly ragdolled, you get Broly Punched through three fucking buildings and almost hole-in-one into the river, you are drooling, you can’t feel the right side of your body, and when you look up to brace yourself against your assailant, you see this older man just sort of chilling with a joyful stride, walking as if he didn’t just deliver your fucking groceries with that 200% Damage In Hyrule Castle Lower Half Of The Map Forward Smash. What the fuck?

And then some years pass, you get involved into some Pretty Important Shit, and you’re going to learn martial arts from a certified badass, and then he walks out of the bead curtain holding a lemonade, and guess who the fuck it is, it’s Mister Destructo-Blast himself. How fucking awkward was that encounter? No, really, what were their first words towards each other? “Oh, I remember you! You were the old dude that nearly ripped my arm off for no reason that one day it rained!” That’s a great ice breaker.

So, anyways, they go, train, become even stronger, and then do immensely hype shit in the classic story, Water Margin. Zhou Tong became the 51st of the 72 Earthly Fiends and Wu Song became the 14th of the 36 Heavenly Spirits in the 108 Stars Of Destiny. You should read Water Margin, it’s fucking nuts.

But anyways, that’s the lore behind the esteemed martial art of redirecting all energy to shields, Iron Shirt is pretty cool. The moral of the story is to not just fucking randomly ragdoll people because you’re a mite suspicious, but also? If you can actually randomly ragdoll people like that? You’re probably dope as hell and can get away with it, so practice Iron Shirt for political immunity, that’s all, the end.

#Water Margin #Wu Song #Zhou Tong #mythology

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ginnyzero · 4 years

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8 Signs Your Book May Not Be Ready to be Self Published

https://youtu.be/w7NPRA6SgHs

I’ve taken up doing a review booktube for indie SFF books, and have decided only to do 4 or 5 star reviews due to some social pressures being an indie author and also being a reviewer. This means I’ve been SLUSH reading. (You can get lots of indie books free if you trawl twitter and start an amazon wishlist and wait.)

Self-publishing has its pros and its cons. The biggest pro of self-publishing being you are in complete control. The second is anyone can do it. There are no gatekeepers. So, like on a fanfiction website, you’re going to find a range of quality in self-published books. There aren’t any bad books. I personally don’t believe in bad books. There are books that aren’t to my taste and there are books that were published too early.

In order to keep you from publishing too early, here is my list of 8 signs your book may not be ready to publish; a reader’s perspective from already self-published books in author terms because I’m also an author.

1) You have a Prologue

Hold up. Bear with me a moment. I know out there are writers and readers who love prologues. And I can hear you going “Ginny, there’s information in my prologue readers need to know to understand my story!” I’ve already created a post called 8 Reasons Why Prologues Don’t Work. So, you can get into detail with it by reading that post.

So hard truth, most traditionally published fiction doesn’t have prologues. Because agents and editors screen them out. Before you start listing off names, established traditional authors can do pretty much whatever they want because they have followings who will buy their books. You, as an indie author, especially if you are a debut indie author, do not. You’re trying to build one.

Prologues for an average reader for all the reasons I listed they don’t work are a very, very hard sell. Adding in a prologue reeks amateur. I know. That’s harsh. And face it, self-publishing because of the lack of gatekeeping and anyone can do it has a very bad reputation for being vanity projects and ‘complete rubbish’ that ranks only a little higher than fan fiction.

Up your professional look, ditch the prologue.

2) Passive Voice

Obligatory disclaimer of not all passive voice is bad. However, if 75% of your book involves the verb ‘to be,’ telling emotions, filter words (he/she/they looked is my Achilles heel at the moment,) and masses of summarization and list descriptions of everything from chewing the scenery, clothes no one cares about, and character traits, your book needs a serious ‘active voice’ edit and isn’t ready to be self-published.

Passive voice drags the reader into slow motion and ruins immersion by putting distance between them and the main character(s). Sometimes, there’s information being told me to I don’t need to know yet (or at all for the story to make sense,) and other times I’m getting these great scene summaries that I want to see happening in real time with interactions between characters!

I wish I was exaggerating on the 95% thing.

3) Paper Thin Characters

Paper Thin Characters can be a result of passive voice. Or, the result of having a story so heavily plot based the words aren’t taken to flesh out these characters in the first place. 80K words seems like a lot, then you get into the plotting and it can get eaten up very quickly. If you’re self-publishing, well, 80K words is a guideline not a rule and guess what, you do have those words.

The largest thing I notice as I’m reading is the characters have no conflicts given to them. Their personal stakes are non-existent, and sometimes, they don’t have a valid grievance even if they do have conflicts. They don’t like things, they don’t dislike things. They don’t have any fears. Their sole purpose is to move the plot along like robots.

Worse, is if they’re the loner type. Loner types aren’t given a lot of people to interact off of, so they have to be really interesting and intriguing to keep the reader’s attention. You may like or dislike Harry Dresden all you want, however, he reads as a loner type who’s interesting enough to continue reading.

(Until Butcher’s sexism gets to you.)

4) Your plot can be solved with a five minute conversation

If your plot can be solved with two people sitting down and yakking it out for five to ten minutes, then you need to rework your plot. Plots of miscommunication, unless you’re Timothy Zahn, tend to feel incredibly contrived. And I’m talking specifically about plots where people care for one another and are supposedly not talking to the other person ‘for their own good/safety.’ Or whatever petty reason the one character has not to talk to the other person over something really important.

Save it for soap operas.

5) You’ve started the story in the wrong spot

This one is easy to do. It is really easy to start your story in the wrong place. Finding the right place where your story begins is something that takes time, practice, an editor, a few beta readers, and developing your gut and intuition. You may think ‘oh the story begins when so and so comes to town.’ And that might not be the case at all, unless strange or bad things start happening immediately. What is the incident that causes the story to really get going?

Or, you’ve gone too far into ‘in media’ res and have started the story at the climax. In today’s day and age, the inciting incident needs to be in the first chapter, not the fifth.

6) Your book lacks structure and a satisfying ending

This can often be a result of several things, the aforementioned you started it in the wrong spot, or there’s been a lack of development and you’ve got a beginning and middle but you’ve flubbed the landing.

Lack of development can lean in two directions, you’ve got too much exposition and world building and not enough story. Or you don’t have enough exposition and world building to support or explain the story you’ve got and you aren’t utilizing what you’ve got effectively.

Books need structure. They need beats and bones to hang everything else off of them. If your story lacks an inciting incident, rising action, a climax, falling action, and a satisfying ending where most of the questions raised in the story are tied up into neat little bows, then your book isn’t ready to be published.

And it’s possible to get these in the wrong order, see starting in the wrong place. The beats need to make sense as they follow one right after the other and not leave the reader confused. Sometimes, if you’re hopping around back and forth in time this can be especially difficult. If you do this, please, make sure things are labelled clearly.

Or, you’ve decided to cut the story in two to make two books because you want to end on a cliffhanger at the climax to get people to buy your second book. (You’re planning a loss leader.) Please, don’t. It doesn’t work. Stories need clear beginnings, middles, and ends. A cliffhanger works if the story prior to it has been resolved enough the cliffhanger makes sense. If you cut the book in half and leave it at the climax, it doesn’t. Readers can tell.

7) You’ve set up a different story in your plot than the one you’re telling

Foreshadowing. There are times when I’ve read a book where I’ve seen clues the author is putting into the book about the plot, and then we get to the climax and falling action and the author veers off into left field with a totally new plot that I didn’t see coming because it wasn’t set up in any way shape or form in the previous 50 to 75% of the book.

This is not good. This leaves the readers confused and feeling unsatisfied about the story because it wasn’t set up properly. A good twist has a reader going back and looking at the clues and foreshadowing and going “Oh, I get it now,” not going “Uh, where did this come from?”

Beta readers and development editors are your friends for this type of feedback. If they’re telling you your plot isn’t matching your foreshadowing, it’s time to do some thinking on how to make them jive.

8) Lack of Proofreading and Copy Editing

Your book is riddled with spelling and grammar errors. You’ve mixed up homophones and the formatting is painful to the eyes. This just shows a lack of respect for your work and for your readers.

Get thee to Grammarly or another copy editor service for your spelling and grammar and hire an edit to make sure the coffee cup finds it way in and out of your character’s hands!

Writing a book is hard work. Getting a book to where it is publishable is even harder work in order to make it enjoyable and satisfying to the reader. Readers can’t ‘read’ your mind and they need to see things played out on the page and only told information when they need it. So, here are 8 signs to look for that your book isn’t ready to be published from a self-published author, reviewer, and reader.

#writing tumblr #writrblr #writing advice #self-publishing #writing tips

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rayarmat · 3 years

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A Guide to Outpatient COVID Treatment: Step-By-Step Doctors’ Plan That Could Save Your Life

Recently, Dr. Peter McCullough, MD, of Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas testified to Texas Senate HHS Committee about how mass media and even some government agencies are silencing clinical outpatient evidence for effective treatment of COVID19 and instead push vaccines only (video shown below).

Treatments like those mentioned by Dr. McCullough can be found in sites like https://c19early.com/ but specifically, McCullough refers to the following Appendix to a document published by Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPSonline.org) as an educational resource. It is based on a paper published in American Journal of Medicine (link), by Dr. Peter McCullough and 22 other clinicians (MDs) and researchers (PhDs).

“Seek early treatment and be your own advocate. All of the physicians contributing to this booklet are on the frontlines treating outpatients at the first signs of COVID illness. Studies in the US and many other countries clearly show that patients who are treated within the first 5 days of symptoms have better outcomes using the combination of medications in the algorithm below.”

COVID-19 hospitalizations and death can be reduced with outpatient treatment.

Principles of COVID-19 outpatient care include: 1) reduction of reinoculation, 2) combination antiviral therapy, 3) immunomodulation, 4) antiplatelet/antithrombotic therapy 5) administration of oxygen, monitoring, and telemedicine.

“For the ambulatory patient with recognized early signs and symptoms of COVID-19, often with nasal real-time reverse transcription or oral antigen testing pending, the following 4 principles could be deployed in a layered and escalating manner depending on clinical manifestations of COVID-19-like illness and confirmed infection: 1) reduction of reinoculation, 2) combination antiviral therapy, 3) immunomodulation, and 4) antiplatelet/antithrombotic therapy. Because the results of testing could take up to a week to return, treatment can be started before the results are known. For patients with cardinal features of the syndrome (ie, fever, body aches, nasal congestion, loss of taste and smell, etc.) and suspected false-negative testing, treatment can be the same as those with confirmed COVID-19. Future randomized trials are expected to confirm, reject, refine, and expand these principles. In this article, they are set forth in emergency response to the growing pandemic as shown in Figure 1 .

Treatment algorithm for COVID-19-like and confirmed COVID-19 illness in ambulatory patients at home in self-quarantine. BMI = body mass index; CKD = chronic kidney disease; CVD = cardiovascular disease; DM = diabetes mellitus; Dz = disease; HCQ = hydroxychloroquine; Mgt = management; O2 = oxygen; Ox = oximetry; Yr = year.

The basic groups of prescription medicines and other therapies used in COVID-19:

▪ Combination anti-viral medicines started as soon as symptoms occur ▪ Medicines to decrease inflammation, such as corticosteroids (called immunomodulators)

▪ Anticoagulant therapy to prevent blood-clots that can cause strokes, heart attacks, kidney shut-down, and death.

▪ Non-prescription supportive treatments with zinc, vitamin D, vitamin C, electrolyte drinks such as Pedialyte, and others.

▪ Home-based oxygen support, such as with an oxygen concentrator. These machines are available by physician prescription from home health medical supply businesses and are covered on most medical insurance plans.

I. Antiviral Agents:

These must be started quickly at STAGE I (Days 1-5):

Symptoms include sore throat, nasal stuffiness, fatigue, headaches, body aches, loss of taste and/or smell, loss of appetite, nausea, diarrhea, fever.

These medicines stop the virus from (1) entering the cells and (2) from multiplying once inside the cells, and they reduce bacterial invasion in the sinuses and lung:

▪ *Hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) with azithromycin (AZM) or doxycycline

▪ Ivermectin with azithromycin (AZM) or doxycycline

Either combination above must also include zinc sulfate or gluconate, plus supplemental vitamin D, and vitamin C. Some doctors also recommend adding a B complex vitamin.

Zinc is critical. It helps block the virus from multiplying.

Hydroxychloroquine is the carrier taking zinc INTO the cells to do its job.

An educational resource from The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPSonline.org) 16

II. Anti-inflammatory Agents - Corticosteroids (“steroids”): Oral and Nebulized.

These are started at STAGE II (Days 3-14) to reduce inflammation, the cause of added damage to the lungs and critical organs. Symptoms include worsening cough, difficulty breathing, chest heaviness/tightness or chest pain.

As inflammation damages the airways interfering with normal oxygen-carbon dioxide exchange, blood oxygen levels drop and people experience loss of focus, drowsiness, confusion, difficulty concentrating, low energy and severe fatigue.

The exaggerated Inflammation response in COVID further increases the risk of blood clots.

Prescription medicines and other support added now to Stage I medicines are: ▪ nebulized budesonide to help penetrate the lungs and reduce inflammation ▪ oral prednisone, methylprednisolone, dexamethasone

▪ colchicine – may also be added to reduce inflammation

▪ full strength adult aspirin 325 mg to reduce inflammation and risk of blood clots ▪ home oxygen concentrator may be needed to improve oxygen levels (requires physician prescription)

III. Prescription Anticoagulants (“blood thinners”):

STAGE III (Day 7 and beyond): Symptoms seen in Stage II intensify. Difficulty breathing becomes extreme, oxygen levels drop sharply, risk of heart attack or stroke increases. At this point, people are critically ill.

The medicines to be added to Stage I and II medicines now include:

▪ Aspirin 325 mg unless told not to take by your doctors

▪ And/or low molecular weight heparin injections (e.g. enoxaparin [Lovenox]) OR

▪ apixaban (Eliquis), or rivaroxaban (Xarelto), or dabigatran (Pradaxa) or

edoxaban (Savaysa) in standard doses for 5 to 30 days

If these added steps do not lead to improvement, or the patient becomes unstable, a 911 call is warranted for ER evaluation and hospital admission so that more aggressive IV medications (such as remdesivir, Regeneron, and others) may be considered, and more intensive ventilation regimens are possible in ICU settings.

IV. Vitamins, Supplements, and Oxygen.

▪ Zinc sulfate, gluconate or citrate. These forms are available in pharmacies, health food stores, and sold online. Zinc sulfate 220 mg provides 50 mg elemental zinc, the recommended anti-viral dose. Zinc in the form of zinc picolinate form is not recommended following reports of liver damage and tumors from studies about 20 years ago. Following these reports, the German Commission E that regulates supplements used in medical practice in Germany banned this form of zinc.

An educational resource from The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPSonline.org) 17

▪ Vitamin D3, preferable in oil in capsules for better absorption. Recommended doses for anti-viral benefit vary from 5000 IU or more for 5-30 days

▪ Vitamin C with bioflavonoids for antioxidant, anti-inflammatory effects. Dose

recommendations from our contributors vary from 1000 mg (1 gram) once or twice a day up to 4 or more times a day.

▪ A word about quercetin. Some physicians are recommending this supplement to reduce viral illnesses because quercetin acts as a zinc ionophore to improve zinc

uptake into cells. It is much less potent than HCQ as a zinc transporter, and it does

not reach high concentrations in lung cells that HCQ does. Quercetin may help

reduce risk of viral illness if you are basically healthy. But it is not potent enough to replace HCQ for treatment of COVID once you have symptoms, and it does not

adequately get into lung tissue unless you take massive doses (3-5 grams a day),

which cause significant GI side effects such as diarrhea.

Control of Contagion

A major goal of self-quarantine is the control of contagion. Many sources of information suggest the main place of viral transmission occurs in the home. Facial covering for all contacts within the home as well as frequent use of hand sanitizer and hand washing is mandatory. Sterilizing surfaces such as countertops, door handles, phones, and other devices is advised. When possible, other close contacts can move out of the domicile and temporarily stay with others not ill with SARS-CoV-2. Findings from multiple studies indicate that policies concerning control of the spread of SARS-CoV-2 are effective and extension into the home as the most frequent site of viral transfer is paramount.

Reduction of Self-Reinoculation

It is well-recognized that COVID-19 exists outside the human body in a bioaerosol of airborne particles and droplets. Because exhaled air in an infected person is considered to be “loaded” with inoculum, each exhalation and inhalation is effectively reinoculation. In patients who are hospitalized, negative pressure is applied to the room air largely to reduce spread outside of the room. We propose that fresh air could reduce reinoculation and potentially reduce the severity of illness and possibly reduce household spread during quarantine. This calls for open windows, fans for aeration, or spending long periods of time outdoors away from others with no face covering to disperse and not reinhale the viral bioaerosol.

Combination Antiviral Therapy

Rapid and amplified viral replication is the hallmark of most acute viral infections. By reducing the rate, quantity, or duration of viral replication, the degree of direct viral injury to the respiratory epithelium, vasculature, and organs may be lessened. Additionally, secondary processes that depend on viral stimulation, including the activation of inflammatory cells, cytokines, and coagulation, could potentially be lessened if viral replication is attenuated. Because no form of readily available medication has been designed specifically to inhibit SARS-CoV-2 replication, 2 or more of the nonspecific agents listed here can be entertained. None of the approaches listed have specific regulatory approved advertising labels for their manufacturers; thus all would be appropriately considered acceptable “off-label” use.

Zinc Lozenges and Zinc Sulfate

Zinc is a known inhibitor of coronavirus replication. Clinical trials of zinc lozenges in the common cold have demonstrated modest reductions in the duration and or severity of symptoms. By extension, this readily available nontoxic therapy could be deployed at the first signs of COVID-19. Zinc lozenges can be administered 5 times a day for up to 5 days and extended if needed if symptoms persist. The amount of elemental zinc lozenges is <25% of that in a single 220-mg zinc sulfate daily tablet. This dose of zinc sulfate has been effectively used in combination with antimalarials in early treatment of high-risk outpatients with COVID-19.

Antimalarials

Hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) is an antimalarial/anti-inflammatory drug that impairs endosomal transfer of virions within human cells. HCQ is also a zinc ionophore that conveys zinc intracellularly to block the SARS-CoV-2 RNA-dependent RNA polymerase, which is the core enzyme of the virus replication. The currently completed retrospective studies and randomized trials have generally shown these findings: 1) when started late in the hospital course and for short durations of time, antimalarials appear to be ineffective, 2) when started earlier in the hospital course, for progressively longer durations and in outpatients, antimalarials may reduce the progression of disease, prevent hospitalization, and are associated with reduced mortality. In a retrospective inpatient study of 2541 patients hospitalized with COVID-19, therapy associated with an adjusted reduction in mortality was HCQ alone (hazard ratio [HR] = 0.34, 95% confidence interval [CI] 0.25-0.46, P <0.001) and HCQ with azithromycin (HR = 0.29, 95% CI 0.22-0.40, P <0.001). HCQ was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration in 1955, has been used by hundreds of millions of people worldwide since then, is sold over the counter in many countries, and has a well-characterized safety profile that should not raise undue alarm. Although asymptomatic QT prolongation is a well-recognized and infrequent (<1%) complication of HCQ, it is possible that in the setting of acute illness symptomatic arrhythmias could develop. Data safety and monitoring boards have not declared safety concerns in any clinical trial published to date. Rare patients with a personal or family history of prolonged QT syndrome and those on additional QT prolonging, contraindicated drugs (eg, dofetilide, sotalol) should be treated with caution and a plan to monitor the QTc in the ambulatory setting. A typical HCQ regimen is 200 mg bid for 5 days and extended to 30 days for continued symptoms. A minimal sufficient dose of HCQ should be used, because in excessive doses the drug can interfere with early immune response to the virus.

Azithromycin

Azithromycin is a commonly used macrolide antibiotic that has antiviral properties mainly attributed to reduced endosomal transfer of virions as well as established anti-inflammatory effects. It has been commonly used in COVID-19 studies initially based on French reports demonstrating markedly reduced durations of viral shedding, fewer hospitalizations, and reduced mortality combination with HCQ as compared to those untreated. In the large inpatient study (n = 2451) discussed previously, those who received azithromycin alone had an adjusted HR for mortality of 1.05, 95% CI 0.68-1.62, and P = 0.83.23 The combination of HCQ and azithromycin has been used as standard of care in other contexts as a standard of care in more than 300,000 older adults with multiple comorbidities. This agent is well-tolerated and like HCQ can prolong the QTc in <1% of patients. The same safety precautions for HCQ listed previously could be extended to azithromycin with or without HCQ. Azithromycin provides additional coverage of bacterial upper respiratory pathogens that could potentially play a role in concurrent or secondary infection. Thus, this agent can serve as a safety net for patients with COVID-19 against clinical failure of the bacterial component of community-acquired pneumonia. The same safety precautions for HCQ could be extended to azithromycin with or without HCQ. Because both HCQ and azithromycin have small but potentially additive risks of QTc prolongation, patients with known or suspected arrhythmias or taking contraindicated medications or should have more thorough workup (eg, review of baseline electrocardiogram, imaging studies, etc.) before receiving these 2 together. One of many dosing schemes is 250 mg po bid for 5 days and may extend to 30 days for persistent symptoms or evidence of bacterial superinfection.

Doxycycline

Doxycycline is another common antibiotic with multiple intracellular effects that may reduce viral replication, cellular damage, and expression of inflammatory factors. This drug has no effect on cardiac conduction and has the main caveat of gastrointestinal upset and esophagitis. As with azithromycin, doxycycline has the advantage of offering antibacterial coverage for superimposed bacterial infection in the upper respiratory tract. Doxycycline has a high degree of activity against many common respiratory pathogens including Streptococcus pneumoniae, Haemophilus influenzae, Moraxella catarrhalis, anaerobes such as Bacteroides and anaerobic/microaerophilic streptococci and atypical agents like Legionella, Mycoplasma pneumoniae, and Chlamydia pneumoniae. One of many dosing schemes is 200 mg po followed by 100 mg po bid for 5 days and may extend to 30 days for persistent symptoms or evidence of bacterial superinfection. Doxycycline may be useful with HCQ for patients in whom the HCQ-azithromycin combination is not desired.

Favipiravir

Favipiravir, an oral selective inhibitor of RNA-dependent RNA polymerase, is approved for ambulatory use in COVID-19 in Russia, India, and other countries outside of the United States.35 It has been previously used for treatment of some life-threatening infections such as Ebola virus, Lassa virus, and rabies. Its therapeutic efficacy has been proven in these diseases. Like, the antimalarials and antibiotics, favipiravir has no large-scale randomized trials completed at this time, given the short time frame of the pandemic. A dose administration could be 1600 mg po bid on day 1, following by 600 mg po bid for 14 days.

Immunomodulators

The manifestations of COVID-19 that prompt hospitalization and that may well lead to multiorgan system failure are attributed to a cytokine storm. The characteristic profile of a patient acutely ill with COVID-19 includes leukocytosis with a relative neutropenia. These patients have higher serum level of cytokines (ie, TNF-α, IFN-γ, IL-1β, IL-2, IL-4, IL-6, and IL-10) and C-reactive protein than control individuals. Among patients with COVID-19, serum IL-6 and IL-10 levels appear even more elevated in the critically ill. As with any acute inflammatory state, early treatment with immunomodulators is expected to impart greater benefit. In COVID-19, some of the first respiratory findings are nasal congestion, cough, and wheezing. These features are due to excess inflammation and cytokine activation. Early use of corticosteroids is a rational intervention for patients with COVID-19 with these features as they would be in acute asthma or reactive airways disease. The RECOVERY trial randomized 6425 hospitalized patients with COVID-19 in a 2:1 ratio to dexamethasone 6 mg po/IV daily for up to 10 days and found dexamethasone reduced mortality (HR = 0.65, 95% CI 0.51-0.82, P <0.001). One potential dosing scheme for outpatients starting on day 5 or the onset of respiratory symptoms is prednisone 1 mg/kg given daily for 5 days with or without a subsequent taper.

Colchicine

Colchicine is a nonsteroidal antimitotic drug that blocks metaphase by binding to the ends of microtubules to prevent the elongation of the microtubule polymer. This agent has proven useful in gout and idiopathic recurrent pericarditis. The GRECCO-19 randomized open-label trial in 105 hospitalized patients with COVID-19 found that colchicine was associated with a reduction in D-dimer levels and improved clinical outcomes. The clinical primary end point (2-point change in World Health Organization ordinal scale) occurred in 14.0% in the control group (7 of 50 patients) and 1.8% in the colchicine group (1 of 55 patients) (odds ratio, 0.11; 95% CI, 0.01-0.96; P = 0.02). Because the short-term safety profile is well understood, it is reasonable to consider this agent along with corticosteroids in an attempt to reduce the effects of cytokine storm. A dosing scheme of 1.2 mg po, followed by 0.6 mg po bid for 3 weeks can be considered.

Antiplatelet Agents and Antithrombotics

Multiple studies have described increased rates of pathological macro- and micro-thrombosis. Patients with COVID-19 have described chest heaviness associated with desaturation that suggests the possibility of pulmonary thrombosis. Multiple reports have described elevated D-dimer levels in acutely ill patients with COVID-19, which has been consistently associated with increased risk of deep venous thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. Necropsy studies have described pulmonary microthrombosis in COVID-19. These observations support the notion that endothelial injury and thrombosis play a role oxygen desaturation, a cardinal reason for hospitalization and supportive care. Based on this pathophysiologic rationale, aspirin 81 mg daily can be administered as an initial antiplatelet and anti-inflammatory agent. Ambulatory patients can be additionally treated with subcutaneous low-molecular-weight heparin or with short-acting novel anticoagulant drugs in dosing schemes similar to those use in outpatient thromboprophylaxis. In a retrospective study of 2773 inpatients with COVID-19, 28% received anticoagulant therapy within 2 days of admission, and despite being used in more severe cases, anticoagulant administration was associated with a reduction in mortality (HR = 0.86 per day of therapy, 95% CI: 0.82-0.89; P <0.001). Additional supportive data on the use anticoagulants reducing mortality has been reported in hospitalized patients with elevated D-dimer levels and higher comorbidity scores.53 Many acutely ill outpatients also have general indications for venous thromboembolism prophylaxis applicable to COVID-19.

Delivery of Oxygen and Monitoring

Because ambulatory centers and clinics have been reticent to have face-to-face visits with patients with COVID-19, telemedicine is a reasonable platform for monitoring. Clinical impressions can be gained with audio and video interviews by the physician with the patient. Supplemental information, including vital signs and symptoms, will be important to guide the physician. A significant component of safe outpatient management is maintenance of arterial oxygen saturation on room air or prescribed home oxygen under direct supervision by daily telemedicine with escalation to hospitalization for assisted ventilation if needed. Self-proning could be entertained for confident patients with good at-home monitoring.

Many of the measures discussed in this article could be extended to seniors in COVID-19 treatment units in nursing homes and other nonhospital settings. This would leave the purposes of hospitalization to the administration of intravenous fluid and parenteral medication, assisted pressure or mechanical ventilation, and advanced mechanical circulatory support.”

youtube

This is the group’s statement on vaccines:

“Vaccines in Development:

Several vaccine models are being investigated for SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) including DNA and RNA vaccines. These vaccines take genetic information from other sources that is introduced into the cells. This information includes instructions to produce a SARS2-like viral antigen itself, and the immune system then reacts to it to develop immunity to the virus.

The most important consideration before approving a vaccine for human use is to make sure that the vaccine is safe and effective. Developing safe and controlled infection models for humans normally takes many years of phased testing in the lab and then in humans. Many physicians and scientists have been concerned that vaccine manufacturers, with government support, are speeding up this process in ways that are not allowing adequate time for the usual phased testing leading up to human clinical trials. Two vaccine manufacturers already have voluntarily paused their clinical trials in people due to serious adverse events.

Currently, there are no RNA-based vaccines approved for human use so it would seem prudent to take the time needed to ensure safety. Vaccines for RNA viruses are notoriously challenging and difficult to develop. We still, after all these years since AIDS emerged in the 1980s, do not have a vaccine for the AIDS virus, or the SARS-1 coronavirus that emerged in 2002-2003, and both are RNA viruses.

Several attempts have been made to create vaccines for coronavirus and other respiratory viruses but none of the vaccines have survived the testing phases. The vaccine trials for SARS-1 from 2003, for example, was shut down because it produced autoimmune hypersensitivity reactions when exposed to the natural virus after immunization in animal studies.

Another problem is that the SARS-2 virus has already shown many mutations. Viruses adapt to the environment to survive. Like the flu virus, it is difficult to predict what mutations will occur and circulate around the world each season. A new vaccine must be reformulated to adjust to the changing genetic makeup of the SARS-2 virus.

Even the best vaccines for flu are only about 30-60% effective. Compare that with an effectiveness for improvement ranging from 64% to more than 90% in more than 100 new studies showing early, outpatient treatment with our existing medications described in chapters.

As research on the vaccine continues, safety and effectiveness are of primary concern. The good news is there are very safe and effective early treatments already available as we described in Chapter 3. Clearly, early, home-based treatment has now been so successful and offers so much hope, there is less urgency to have a vaccine.”

You can sign up to receive the full protocol here: https://aapsonline.org/covidpatientguide/ or find the research paper here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7410805/

#coronavirus #medicine #pandemic #virus #ivermectin tablets

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longwindedbore · 5 years

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Open Carry by Civilians. No reason for it except to stoke fear in the General Public by gun-stroking Bullies.

Non-bullies don’t adopt open carry

US Secret Service guarding the President and VP against assasins carry their machine pistols concealed.

Diplomatic Security Service agents guarding heads of States and Ambassadors against assasinations, bomb throwers and suicide bombers carry their machine pistols concealed.

FBI agents, US Marshals, police detectives set out to find and arrest violent felons with their guns concealed

Close Protection professionals guarding celebrities threatened by derranged persons carry their weapons concealed.

Gangster Bodyguards for Cartel bosses carry their guns concealed.

All professionals y’say? What about...

The volunteer guards at the Church in Texas carried their guns concealed. As soon as the gunman pulled the shotgun - from beneath his coat - the volunteers were reacting with concealed firearms.

[WARNING: real people die in this video]

youtube

Consider:

Open carry inherently causes problems

1. Would Open carry create confusion in amongst everyone carrying as to who is who in violent confrontations?

2. Even if Open Carriers are leaving the scene with the rest of the public, first responders don’t know who they are or if they are involved. So first responders must subdivide and continue to subdivide their limited forces to stop and detain the openly armed.

Example of recent Church Shooting vs Miami Dade

1. In the Church video above the gunman needed a powerful weapon at point blank range to kill two people. The argument for high-caliber ‘stoping power’ used by advocates advocating for open carry - long gun more powerful than handgun.

Or is this an argument important to incompetent bullies?

2. The gunman does not employ open carry yet, without training, can deploy a high powered long gun very fast. Simply by starting the fight. “Shooting first”

3. The Church volunteer stops the rampage with marksmanship at 20-30 feet. Using a weapon which he can control and immediately realign to place the shots. Without hitting anyone else in a crowded Church

4. Compare the measured self-trained response of the volunteer parisoners to the publicly trained Miami-Dade Police inthevUPS shooting. A shooting in which 18 officers unload their weapons into a stalled UPS truck. Killing two hostages. Plus missing the truck altogether and hitting an innocent bystander.

5. Unlike the Police, the parishioners trained together on the firing range and thought how they would respond as a team to an active shooter situation. They had confidence in their small arms response.

6. The Miami-Dade officers were trained in a manner that would cost their Department the LEAST amount of money: NOT a Hostage Rescue Team approach. Rather Militarization. “Shooting first is critical! Anyone not shooting is a risking the life of a comrade . No further training needed. Cheaper to pay off any bystander families in out-of-court settlements.”

7. Basic shooting requirements for Police Officers in Florida, as across the country, are minimal. (See link)

https://www.fdle.state.fl.us/CJSTC/Documents/Rules-Forms/WordDoc/CJSTC-86A-3-2013.aspx

8. Worse still. Unlike our militarized police forces, there is no proficiency test for panicky open carry bullies. So they will be “shooting first, spraying on full auto”

Y’think I’m exaggerating the danger of carnage from open carry advocates?

They generate enough deaths just owning guns without shooting.

Consider that all underage school and mall mass shooters come armed with pistols and rifles from their family’s unsecured gun and ammo supplies.

Which US families have masses of firearms? Loaded and/or unsecured? Who has such quantities of weapons lying around?

Who but the demented or the drugged or the alcoholic or the open-carry terror-driven bully leaves loaded weapons around for toddlers to find?

Consider that in the US, and only the US, more than one toddler a week obtains a fully loaded weapon and fires it. Out of this group at least one toddler a week inadvertently kills themselves or a sibling or a parent.

This kind of thing doesn’t happen in war-zones. For one thing in a war zone you can’t be hauling around so many loaded weapons that you overlook some.

These toddlers don’t wrestle these weapons away from an adult family member. Therefore the weapon was left not secured when it is not on the ‘adult’ person who is ‘entitled’ to it.

The toddlers don’t load the weapon; the unsecured weapon is left loaded.

The toddlers didn’t take the safety off; the safety was off.

The toddlers and most small children can’t rack a slide and put a bullet in the breech; the pistol was left with a round under the hammer.

Toddlers and older children do not have with two fingers sufficient strength - 13-15lbs - to fire a revolver or pull the trigger of an uncocked semi-automatic pistol:

“Twenty-five percent of 3- to 4-year-olds, 70% of 5- to 6-year-olds, and 90% of 7- to 8-year-olds have a two-finger trigger-pull strength of at least 10 lb...”

Toddlers and other children DO have the five lbs strength required to fire a cocked semi-automatic pistol left unsecured.

“... Beretta M9 with a double action first trigger pull of approx 13 lbs and a 5 lb single action trigger for each shot after.”

How many of those “tragic accidents” involving toddlers do NOT involve non-demented, non-druggie families.

Instead, how many toddler-shootist gunfirings and deaths involve “traditional values” good families?

Y’know. Open carry advocate families.

Defenders of the Second Amendment Right guaranteeing Profits.

Half of all guns in the US are in the possession of 3% of all adults. [3rd chart below in posting below]

Is the whole 3% untrained leave-‘em-loaded-safety-off-fully-cocked open carry advocates? Constantly buying more and more guns like a drug addict does heroin?

Not the gun collectors - their guns are locked away. They aren’t buying newly manufactured guns.

Not hunters - they are most in danger of being shot by incompetent morons hunting with military rifles who shouldn’t be allowed in the woods. Hunters are often forced out of safety concerns to pay to go to game preserves or wait for bow hunting season. Hunters buy new guns when the old wears out or for specific types of hunting.

Not competitive shooters - like hunters they run a lot of rounds through familiar guns.

Not survivalists - they don’t want outsiders to know they have guns. Open carry advertises.

So some number less than 3% represents 30-40% of all guns owned.

But that “less than 3%” represents a much higher percentage than 50% of all NEW gun sales.

Without HALF their SALES to 4-5 million individuals annually, how many domestic gun manufacturers and gun shops would go out of business?

Without the in-our-faces ugly presence of reminds-me-of-Middle-School-bully Open Carry advocates, what percentage of new gun sales to everyone else would plummet?

Making America Safe Again

As long as irresponsible and incompetent Bullies can Open Carry they will be encouraged by the fear generated to contine their preferred addiction of buying more than half the new guns in the country. Because the other side of generating fear is to know people are thinking and dreaming about killing you the bully.

If bullies couldn’t open carry, would gun sales plummet? Particularly with crime way down.

If we start prosecuting owners for negligence when the underage acquire unsecured weapons, would gun sales plummet?

No background checks needed. Bold of us to assume background checks are much more than Corporate-paid misdirection.

#opposed to open carry

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book-addict-03 · 4 years

Text

Hello, starting a Tenrose fic and wanting some advice. Constructive criticism is highly appreciated <3

Chapter I - The Beginning and The End

Rose knew it was a stupid idea, even as she was sitting, watching the house full of Torchwood agents. The only reason she even considered it was because she was so tired of running. She was even more tired of losing people. It didn’t matter that there was no one left. It didn’t matter that she was finally going to give them what they wanted.

She listened to the fallen Autumn leaves crunch under her boots as she stalked towards the house. The rustling sounds of the trees and the chatter of distant birds soothed her as she headed towards what would surely result in her torture. After all, why hunt someone for over 60 years if you didn’t have a truly malicious plan in mind?

As she kicked the door open, she couldn’t help the small smirk that graced her features. She had planned to surprise them, of course, but she was pleased to see the shocked and flummoxed looks on the faces of all 15 Torchwood Agents. She would take this sight with her, to pass away the time while she’s strapped down to a table in the Labs.

They had started hunting her when she turned 40 and it became clear to everyone that she hadn’t aged past 20. Of course, they’d suspected it throughout the years, especially when paired with her rapid healing. She’d had the extent of her healing tested throughout the years, obviously, but when it became clear that her young looks were truly unorthodox rather than good genes, Torchwood had started seeking her out for tests on top of her usual quarterly examinations. She hadn’t planned on going into hiding, but eventually she was left with no other choice.

So here she was, aged 107 years old looking no older than 20, surrounded by confused Torchwood agents, finally handing herself in. It had taken over half a century, but they were finally seeing it. Rose Tyler had finally given up.

She didn’t fight back, even as four men jumped to wrestle her to the ground, all flailing limbs and elbows. Truly terrible form, she thought, their training regime really must have changed if they thought this sort of performance would suffice in the capture of London’s most wanted criminal.

Of course, she could have fought back if she’d wanted to, years of running and fighting had left her with a toned and strong body, as well as a full martial arts skillset from her training and employment at Torchwood. So no, she hadn’t been overcome, she had submitted. She knew the distinction wouldn’t be made in the records or to the public, but she had to keep her pride intact if nothing else. Honestly, who would expect anything else from the long-lost heiress of the Vitex fortune?

“Hello boys!” she said with a wide grin, seemingly nonplussed by the agents currently holding her to the cold, hard concrete floor, “Honestly, is this how you greet your guests? I must say, this is really poor hospitality. I mean, I’ve been in some really bad establishments, and when I say really bad, I mean really bad but honestly, this is unrivalled.”

“Shut up, you bitch” said the person wearing the boots that were currently right in front of her face. The man laying across the top of her back prevented her from angling her neck to see the speakers face but from the burly voice, she decided it was safe to assume the person was male. “Goodard, get up and chain her.” Also in a role of power, she noted as she was roughly jerked upright and put straight into a cold metal chair. She tried to cross her knees but the men chaining her down wouldn’t allow it. With an exaggerated huff, she allowed the young men to chain her to the chair, ankles tied firmly to the legs of the chair.

Finally allowed to see the man that would probably be hailed as her captor, Rose took a few moments to observe his harsh features. If she was being honest to herself, he looked like a stereotypical Disney villain. He sneered down at her with a sharp, elongated face, greying hair and a rapidly receding hairline. He could be no older than 50, but he had only a small amount of hair left.

“If you’re tying an old woman down with truck chains then I must be making a good impression.” She said, with a smirk. She was bored and wished, not for the first time, that she could just fast forward through certain moments.

“You and I both know your age is not an accurate depiction of your strength or abilities, which is precisely why we’ve been looking for you for so long, Agent Tyler.” He said, clearly enunciating her previous title from her employment at Torchwood. If he expected a reaction, he must’ve been sorely disappointed, because the next words out of his mouth were:

“Fingal! Jab her, get her in the truck and let’s go” followed by a sharp prick in her neck and a veil of black taking over her consciousness.

…~oOo~…

Six months later, Rose was recovering from her 17th surgery while also preparing for her 46th MRI. This time they were going to try drowning her to see what would happen afterwards. It was one of the least imaginative deaths they had come up with so far, but she still wasn’t looking forward to the time spent swimming in a swirling haze of pain that always followed her death.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time she’d died.

The first time had been a shock, she had been hit by a stray bullet, fired by a hunter who must’ve thought her to be a deer or some other sort of animal. Her mother and Tony were still alive at the time. They had discussed what was to be done in the event of her death a while beforehand, so they had carted her body off to a cave deeper in the woods to wait until nightfall so they could light a pyre. Just as twilight peaked, Rose woke up with a gasp and scared the absolute shit out of her family. Her mother had been yelling at her for weeks after that, saying that Rose had surely knocked 10 years off her life span.

That time she’d been out for over 5 hours, lately they had been cut down to an hour or less. Rose assumed it was a ‘practice makes perfect’ sort of scenario. Well, she hoped.

…~oOo~…

Rose knew something was different from the moment she stepped into the room. Her skin felt tingly and she felt slightly invigorated, she knew her evolved senses were picking up on something, something she was unable to interpret. Of course, the strange occurrence didn’t change her actions. She didn’t even falter, she knew doing anything other than what they asked was pointless. No matter what, they were going to force her into the tub of cold water. She could do nothing to stop them, she’d tried before on several occasions. They always sent her with multitudes of armed guards who were instructed to use brutal force if she showed any sign of resistance. So, she’d pretended nothing was amiss and forced herself to place one foot in front of the other, climb into the tub and accept the blanket of numbness that was handed to her as the water blacked out her vision.

She swam in the inky depths of her mind, waiting for her body to come alive once again. Usually, it just felt as though she had been asleep, sometimes she would remember different moments of her life or dream of a different future for herself. This time was different, she was aware of everything going on outside of her own head but remained unable to do anything. Instead, it was like she was in a viewing panel inside her own mind. Weird.

“Hello, my Wolf,” said a mystical voice from behind her. She turned to see herself, wearing different clothes and with the bleached blonde hair she had grown out decades ago, but still her. She immediately knew who was speaking to her through her own image, because who else could it be?

“TARDIS” she greeted with a nod and grin, “it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. Though I must say, we don’t really speak, do we? It’s usually like a telepathic game of charades. This is new,” she said, waving at the whole of the entity in front of her.

The TARDIS smiled and nodded to Rose, “I have no other corporeal image for myself other than you, the one who shares my heart. You must know by now that your link to Bad Wolf was not removed from you, as my Thief had thought” Rose wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question, but she nodded anyway. “Good, that makes this easier”

“Makes what easier?” Rose asked, with a suspicious expression marring her features.

“My magnificent plan, of course. I know that your journey since the Bay has been taxing on your soul. You have lost many, and I want you to know that I cannot fix that. I wish to give my Wolf and my Thief the second chance they deserve… I believe that you both need each other; you know that as well as I do. This is my gift to you. I can take you back to your own universe. I can take you back to him.”

The TARDIS said this with an air of finality that didn’t sit well with Rose. Her passionate yet detached deliverance of her speech didn’t do anything to help either. She was sick of detachment. She hadn’t spoken any of this to anyone, so when the TARDIS prodded at such painful memories, the floodgates of thoughts and feelings hidden away over decades of life faltered and she broke.

“What if I don’t want to go back? I have lost everything since Bad Wolf Bay, I lost my chance at a normal life, I lost my family, all because your thief didn’t give me a choice! What makes you think I’d willingly go back to him?” She was pacing, her minor rant had made her realise how exhausted she was and the warmth on her face alerted her to the fact that she was crying.

“You need home. The TARDIS is and always will be your home. I will care for you, as I always have. I can’t help you while you’re here though. You don’t belong in this universe; you already know that they will not accept your modified biology. You know that my Thief will at least understand your situation and the loss that has followed. I wish for no more than to allow you both the comfort you desire, but it is still your choice. Do you wish to stay here, or are you ready to come home?” Her soft-spoken words pierced Rose’s armour and she crumpled to the floor. Decades of loss, sorrow and pain suddenly cascading through her barriers.

“Please. Please, take me home” She sobbed. The TARDIS gave a small, affectionate smile. Her plan would work. She just knew it.

Of course, she knew her Wolf’s anger and nonchalance were a shield to protect her already worn-down heart, much like her Thief and his indifference towards others who seek to help him. The fact that the Void had warped time a lot more for this universe than her own was likely going to be a slight issue, but that couldn’t be helped. She would take care of them; she would make sure they were happy again. Together.

#dr who tenth #rose tyler #tenrose #tenth doctor x rose tyler #doctor rose fic #tenrose fic #fanfic #fan fiction

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capricornus-rex · 4 years

Text

Two Sides of the Coin (2)

Chapter 2: One for the Job | Jidné Sheedra x Cal Kestis

Summary: Hell-bent on exacting revenge and retrieving the Holocron, the dreaded Darth Vader is now on the hunt for the young Jedi Knight, Cal Kestis. Under the assumption that he still possessed the artifact, while fueled by the intrigue of the boy’s strength and skill with the Force, the dark lord hires the bounty hunter, Jidné Sheedra, to track him down and have him delivered alive. However, the task becomes a trial for young Jidné, as she faces a conflict that tests her beliefs of a scarred past she had hidden for so long.

Also in AO3

Tags: Fem OC, Jidné Sheedra, Force-Sensitive! Fem OC, Bounty Hunter! Fem OC, Jedi! Fem OC

Previous: Part 1 | Next: Part 3 | Masterlist

2 of ?

MODALA, KAGAN SYSTEM, OUTER RIM TERRITORIES

The planet was nearly barren, blanketed with grey skies and silver clouds that hung low—but neither thunder nor lightning appeared, yet the possibility loomed as low as the puffs and pillars of clouds as it seemed to close beyond the peaks. Mountain ranges framed the horizon in silhouettes as black as charcoal. Woodland barely covered the gorges and quarries, flora was sparse and selective—you’d see more rock than leafy greens, to see some vegetation, one would have to trek for miles.

Rocky terrain outstretched itself to the far reaches of the planet, leaving barely any room for water to spring, empty craters served as bowls to a rain that may never come. A city stood into the middle of the wasteland, a beacon and an oasis—for those running away from something or someone, or those who just want a nice tall glass of liquor to drown away their grievances.

The same shuttle escorted Vader to the surface of the planet, it docked near the enormous structure that distanced itself away from the border of the city. Strategically placed near a lake, it was nothing but a block of concrete, adorned with statues that served as mere ornaments upon the gates of the fortification. The architecture was crude, perhaps the owner invested it all on the space. From a certain point of view, it was deemed a castle—at least in a ruffian’s standards.

The lone dark lord of the Sith ventured into the stronghold. A hatch in the giant metal door popped open and out comes a scanner droid, grumbling in a throaty, alien language at Darth Vader.

“I am here for the Bounty Hunter’s Guild.” Vader simply said.

A single glimpse was enough to prompt the person on the other side of the door to let him in. The main door creaked, pulling its weight was enough of a burden in its rusty cogs, and the castle owner raised the door high enough for the esteemed guest to bring himself inside. The guards at the entrance to the main audience hall slightly shifted upon the sight of Lord Vader—who ignored them as he passed them by—wordlessly, they agreed that the guest is tenfold the terror than anyone who’s set foot into their stronghold.

Darth Vader’s grand—albeit abrupt—entrance into the main chamber caused all heads to turn and the chatter to quieten. Literally standing in the center of attention, he ignored the curious and intrigued gazes, their eyes unable to penetrate through that black shell from head to toe.

The castle owner, a human male—whose face was etched with wrinkles and sullen cheekbones—sat at the center of the chamber, surrounded by his guests and fanned by a pair of scantily-clad, lavender Twi’leks. When Darth Vader stepped into the brightest light in the room, the master of the house sprang from his throne with his arms extended on both sides—a boisterous welcome, contrast to Vader’s entire demeanor.

“Well, well,” the owner beamed, his voice mingling with the soft, robotic breathing of the dark lord. “Welcome, welcome!”

He was received with an indifferent silence. The owner started over with a throaty chuckle through the clenched smile.

“Baz Oldak, head of the Guild’s local charter, how can I be of service, m’lord?” he introduced himself in a jester-like tone, mixing between sarcastic and genuinely welcoming, curtsying at the dark lord while keeping a safe distance.

“I require a bounty hunter,” Darth Vader simply said, and then let himself finish to emphasize the next words. “Your best one.”

Baz Oldak chuckled, impressed by the simple yet heavy request.

More heads and eyes shifted, side-glances played along Darth Vader’s periphery but he blatantly ignored them all, not knowing that most of them were actual bounty hunters. The idea of being hired by none other than the Darth Vader himself is a demanding job—but a rewarding one nonetheless once his contract is satisfied. The idea of being flushed with coin from the most powerful authority in all of the systems is each and every single hunter’s wet dream.

“Well now, Lord Vader,” Baz rubbed the curve of his chin. “And who’s the miserable sod that one of my hunters will come after?”

“That is only between me and whom I’ll choose,”

“By all means, m’lord,” Oldak motioned to the entire room with one slow sweep of his arm. “Take your pick.”

The blood-red coating of his helmet’s sockets gleamed menacingly under the spotlight; ever since he stepped into this place, the sleight of his head finally panned across the room—he was personally scouting the one.

Apparently, he wasn’t satisfied with the variety before him. He angled his head back in front of Oldak.

“None of these seem to be capable,” Vader commented. He stepped closer to Oldak, to which the ordinary male took one step back out of sudden terror; the dark lord spoke in a hushed tone, albeit it’s more frightening than his usual tone. “These couldn’t be all of your hunters? I heard that this local charter of the Guild housed one of the best. Surely, that’s no exaggeration.”

“My, my, I suppose I’m going have to bring you to the back room,”

The codenaming didn’t faze the dark lord, though it intrigued him. Oldak spoke in whispers, his words only came through Vader, and then gestured to a particular area across the chamber where he may find what he needs.

With great haste, Darth Vader brushed past Baz Oldak’s shoulder, the impact of his black duraplast breastplate was enough to leave a bruise.

“She isn’t expecting any visitors though,” the small man quipped a final time, massaging and flexing his shoulder as Vader halted—hoping that this little host would have said something more substantial.

The blast door led Darth Vader into a room. A lounge of sorts with a booth in the center, but the shadow of the canopy obscured the body of the one who’s seated alone, glass of liquor in hand. Their legs perched over the center table were the only ones exposed under the light, the boots slightly wiggling in a leisurely rhythm but there was no music—not even a light note or melody in place.

As Vader went closer, he was able to gradually make out the face of this hunter who kept their head low in the shadows. The silhouette of the Sith lord had already occupied the hunter’s periphery, to which they had no choice but to pull their head up to face him in the comfort of their shade.

“Well, let’s see, now…” a female voice hummed. The whites of her eyes slightly popped out in the dark. “Tall, dark…

Her eyes examined Vader from top to bottom, she afforded a little chuckle, “Brooding. You must be the fabled Darth Vader.”

Silence from Vader, exempting the slow, huffed inhaling and exhaling through his mask.

However, he sensed the smallest twinge of fear within this young woman. He wagered that her confidence sourced only in the shadow of that canopy. She remained unmoving and pressed on with her questions.

“So, what brings you to this desolate skughole?”

“A contract, no less. Your guild head spoke highly of you and I wanted to test out the wares, Jidné.”

A scoff-like chuckle escaped her nostrils, she raised her eyebrows—not caring whether Vader could see her expression in the dark or not.

“Then you must be very desperate,” Jidné retorted as-a-matter-of-factly, tipping her head a bit before sipping her glass.

“My previous agent has performed quite disappointingly. I am simply expanding my options.”

“How perceptive,” she puts down her glass, untangled her crossed legs and pulled them away from the table, finally showing her face into the light—to face Vader.

Long, dark hair spilled over her shoulders, the loose locks that dangled from her hairline framed her young face. A scar—whose flesh has healed and pinked over time—traced the contour of her cheekbone, standing out from the natural color of her skin. To Vader, she was but a child wearing a woman’s clothes; his curiosity brought him nothing but questions as he studied the girl.

So young, for someone in such a dangerous occupation. He thought to himself as he saw through the red film of his helmet’s socket.

Though the appearance didn’t matter to him as long as she could finish the job.

She leaned forward and propped her elbows on her knees. “Now then, who’s the goose I’m chasing?”

Darth Vader was never one for long conversations, and he always kept himself reserved with his words unless necessary.

“A boy,”

“A boy?” Jidné scoffed, afraid that a laugh might offend him. “You have to do better than that, m’lord. But okay, I’ll bite: what’s the deal with this boy?”

“That boy is a Jedi.”

Jidné’s head angled to the side, her interest significantly piqued. Her squinted eyes under the shadows of her room prompted Vader to elaborate.

“And what’s so special about this Jedi—besides the hefty bounty on his head?”

“He is in possession of something vital. Bring him to me alive—along with what I want from him. I can guarantee your payment will cover both his bounty and your fee,”

“I suppose Baz told you that I require a 50% upfront payment. Also, you do realize that you have to pay a portion for him—he calls it a referral fee.”

“Consider them all done.”

Darth Vader slightly angled himself, turning back to the guards, bellowing a single yet firm “Guards!” and a pair of Stormtroopers poured into Jidné’s lounge room—one of them held a cylindrical case. He puts it down on the center table, a single turn of the handle and the hydraulic lock unlatches; revealing columns of credits neatly lined to the very walls of the case.

In a single glance, Jidné estimates the total contents to cover her upfront and Baz’s referral—with a quite generous tip just so he can shut his mouth. Her client has certainly outdone himself.

“The bounty and the other half of your fee will be given once you’ve delivered what I ask.”

She fished out a single bar from the cylinder, light danced on the clean, golden finish of the money as she examined it under the light. She returned it and sealed the container herself.

“By any chance, do you know his name?”

“No. Red hair, that’s all I can tell you.”

“Okay, that narrows things down a bit,” she leered, making a pensive face as she rolls her eyes and bobs her head. “Good enough.”

Jidné stood up to her full height, but not even she can level herself with the literal standing of the dark lord—whom she wagered to be no less than six feet and three. She had to lean an inch back to fully view his entirety. The light of her lounge room highlighted the sharp edges of his mask and the crimson film on the sockets showed her distorted reflection.

She awkwardly stepped to the side, the canister filled to the brim with credits in her hand, and proceeded to leave Vader in her own chambers as she prepares herself to head out.

“Remember, bounty hunter: alive.”

That reminder stopped Jidné in her tracks, she glanced over her shoulder until Vader was back in her peripheral vision. Her snarky attitude had been taken over by her deadpan, serious mode the moment she saw herself to the door. Now, a firm tone of the voice lingered in her throat as she answered.

“Yes, my lord.” She assured.

Finally, Jidné exited the room and left the door open for Vader. Her right hand searched for the leather holster dangling by her belt, she pressed her palm against the fabric until it sank to follow the mold of the weapon inside, her fingers blindly tracing out the vague shapes that embossed over the holster.

She zipped through the crowds loitering by the doorway of the main hall and headed to the docking bay of the castle where her beloved carriage awaits her.

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mediaevalmusereads · 3 years

Text

An Extraordinary Union. By Alyssa Cole. New York: Kensington, 2017.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Loyal League #1

Summary: As the Civil War rages between the states, a courageous pair of spies plunge fearlessly into a maelstrom of ignorance, deceit, and danger, combining their unique skills to alter the course of history and break the chains of the past . . . Elle Burns is a former slave with a passion for justice and an eidetic memory. Trading in her life of freedom in Massachusetts, she returns to the indignity of slavery in the South—to spy for the Union Army. Malcolm McCall is a detective for Pinkerton's Secret Service. Subterfuge is his calling, but he’s facing his deadliest mission yet—risking his life to infiltrate a Rebel enclave in Virginia. Two undercover agents who share a common cause—and an undeniable attraction—Malcolm and Elle join forces when they discover a plot that could turn the tide of the war in the Confederacy's favor. Caught in a tightening web of wartime intrigue, and fighting a fiery and forbidden love, Malcolm and Elle must make their boldest move to preserve the Union at any cost—even if it means losing each other.

***Full review under the cut.***

Mild spoilers in the Plot section.

Content Warnings: racism, threat of sexual assault, use of the n-word, violence, blood, false rape accusations

Overview: I first became aware of Alyssa Cole via Courtney Milan’s recommendations page, and I decided to start with this Civil War spy romance because... why not? It looked fun! And it was, to an extent. I liked the high stakes, the dynamics of the romance, the characters themselves. But what ultimately prevented me from giving this book more than 3 stars was the plot, romance trajectory, and some aspects of the prose. Of course, your mileage may vary, so if you’re a fan of romance, I suggest giving this book a try for yourself.

Writing: Cole’s prose is fairly clear and easy to read. It flows well, so you can skim or read more in-depth, depending on your preference, and I think that works for the genre Cole is writing in. I also really liked that Cole would drop in random quotes from classic literature to demonstrate Elle’s eidetic memory, and I liked that she was able to communicate the stakes of each scene without overwhelming the reader with infodumps.

I do think, however, that Cole relies a bit too much on telling instead of showing. We’re told over and over again through the characters’ inner thoughts that they have feelings for one another, but I didn’t quite see how those feelings were brought about externally. The banter and the arguments, while good, didn’t quite foster feelings of romantic connection, and I wish a little more was done to show the characters’ chemistry, rather than being told that they had an effect on one another.

Plot: Aside from the romance, the majority of this book revolves around Elle and Malcolm as they infiltrate a Southern senator’s house to learn more about Confederate operations during the Civil War. While I liked the idea, I ultimately thought Cole could have done a little more to give this plot structure. Both Malcolm and Elle seemed to be placed in the house to be on the lookout for any useful information, so from the get-go, it didn’t feel like they had a strong purpose. I think I would have liked to have seen Elle go in with the knowledge that the Confederates were planning something; maybe the Union/Loyal League had whiff of a plot to break the blockade, and Elle is tasked with doing everything in her power to make sure that blockade stays in place.

I also think Cole could have made her characters a little more agentive. While I liked that Malcolm was purposefully flirting with the Senator’s daughter to weasel his way into their good graces, it felt like both Elle and Malcolm were passively waiting for information to fall into their laps. I would have liked to see more scenes of them sneaking into the Senator’s office, trying to find letters or other information, or something else that required the characters to be proactive. The only real scene where we got that, I feel, was when the two went after Dix, the engineer, but even then, they seemed to just follow him out into the woods before getting accosted by slave catchers, forcing them to return home with nothing useful (which they don’t seem too disappointed about).

Speaking of the pursuit of Dix, many scenes seemed to be like this one, and by that I mean many seemed to have been inserted into the plot to create empty tension or action. The characters don’t really get anything useful out of following Dix; the scene was mostly there to give Malcolm and Elle some time to talk and to put Elle in danger. There were others that I felt had a similar purpose. The scene where Elle suspects Malcolm of being a double agent, for example, seemed to come out of nowhere and be over and done with way too quickly, only used to manufacture false tension and then give the two a reason to be alone together. The ending, too, seemed to rely on a lot of exciting things happening in quick succession, and while I liked that it forced the characters to think quickly and make plans, it also felt like Elle and Malcolm had to rely on surprise plans from other people and impossible coincidences.

Lastly, I think the prologue was an odd episode to serve as the book’s initial inciting action. We open with Elle going undercover to pass a message to another operative, and just as she does so, she is harmed by some racist separatists and blacks out. One year later, Elle has recovered and is on a new mission in Virginia, and we learn that she was saved by none other than Malcolm himself. While I felt that this prologue could have worked if Elle and Malcolm hopped around the South on missions and kept meeting up again and again, the events of the prologue didn’t seem to have much significance other than to show that Malcolm had met Elle once before, and even that revelation fizzled out soon after they both realized it. I think I would have liked a more sustained plot where Elle and Malcolm kept crossing paths while doing spy missions, or else have the prologue feature something like a secret meeting where men are talking about building the ironside.

Characters: Elle, our heroine, is a smart, sharp-tongued Black woman with an eidetic memory and a fierce devotion to the Union. I really liked the nuance she brought to interpretations of the abolitionist movement and the politics of slavery and race relations; she would frequently call Malcolm and other well-meaning white people out on their inability to see slavery and racism as something that affects individuals (they see it rather as an abstract concept). I also really liked that she knew her worth but was conscious of what acting on her anger and frustration could do to jeopardize her goals. It made her feel pragmatic and human at the same time, which I very much enjoyed. The only thing I didn’t like about her was that she seemed to keep going back and forth on what she wanted with Malcolm, but more on that in the next section.

Malcolm, our hero, is a Scottish undercover detective for the Pinkertons. I liked that he had a roguish personality without being a Scottish stereotype - he didn’t drop a lot of random slang words, nor was he overly violent or drunk. His main asset was his charisma and his ability to weasel his way into places of power, and I think Cole showed that well. I also liked that he served as a vehicle to explore topics relating to racism, and he was constantly learning about how to be practically anti-racist, not just generally not racist (if that makes sense). I do think, however, that Malcolm made way too many stupid mistakes for one supposedly so good as his job, and I think his attraction to Elle was too insta-lovey for my tastes (but more on that below). He also seemed to have no serious character flaws to overcome; he rather seemed to be a “nice guy” whose only “flaw” was that he just had some things to learn about the Black experience.

Side characters varied in the quality of their usefulness to the plot, but I think Cole wrote them all with good purposes in mind. Susie, the Senator’s daughter who Malcolm flirts with, was appropriately written, being neither an exaggerated villain nor a sympathetic product of her time. The fellow slaves at the Senator’s home were likeable and I enjoyed the way Elle expressed her affection for them; I wish Mary’s plans had been foreshadowed a bit more, but it is what it is. Probably the most underutilized character, in my opinion, was Rufus, whose true identity comes at a surprise to Elle and Malcolm. I feel like a rival espionage plot could have worked well in this story, especially if Elle and Malcolm’s story had been more reluctant-allies-to-lovers, but Rufus’ twist seemed to come out of nowhere and only be important in the last 50 or so pages of the novel. Dix, too, could have been more of an interesting character, but he seems to exist only to put Elle and Malcom in a risky position. Nothing really comes out of his character.

Perhaps the least compelling character, in my opinion, was Daniel, Elle’s supposed longtime friend who was born free but sold into slavery. Daniel never makes an actual appearance on the page; Elle talks about him a lot, but since we never actually see them interact, I felt like I was expected to care about a person I never met. The drama with Daniel seemed to exist to either create jealousy in Malcolm or serve as a way to make Elle trust Malcolm, and honestly, I don’t think Daniel needed to be included at all.

Romance: While I liked the idea of this romance, Elle and Malcolm’s story ultimately didn’t work well for me because I personally found it insta-lovey and somewhat repetitive. Malcolm is attracted to Elle right away, which isn’t a problem, but it seems like they developed feelings for one another after their initial chat in the woods. I prefer my romances to build up over time, with characters falling for one another after becoming emotionally vulnerable and bonding over shared values or helping one another overcome personal character flaws. Elle and Malcolm, by contrast, had some nice banter, but Elle would push Malcolm away, then remember how attractive he was, then the two would kiss or be intimate before Elle would declare they couldn’t be together because it compromised their jobs, and the cycle would repeat. While a conflict of interest could be an interesting point of tension in a romance, I personally felt like Elle was too back-and-forth, and I personally don’t find that back-and-forth very compelling.

I also found some of the sex scenes to be a bit too clinical and clipped, which may work for some people but may not for others. Personally, I like my sex scenes to show not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy, and it seemed like some of them were used to that effect while others were just... “she did this. he did this.” I think I would have liked to see Cole put more pressure on the idea of sex as comfort. The first time Elle and Malcolm are physically intimate together, Elle describes it as seeking comfort. However, it’s not really brought up again, and I think it would have been interesting to expand on the idea, perhaps by portraying their reluctant allyship as first a purely physical release/escape to something more emotional and mutually supportive.

TL;DR: An Extraordinary Union brings some much needed diversity the romance genre, and while it has an intriguing plot and likeable characters, it also features a fairly cyclical romance and depends on things happening to the characters, rather than the characters being active subjects.

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films

Hi to anyone reading,

I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.

I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.

This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!

I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.

So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)

God Tier

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)

Knives Out. What a film.

I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.

But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.

Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.

Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)

There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.

Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.

The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.

Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)

So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?

IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.

The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)

I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.

Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)

I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!

Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.

Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.

Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!

Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)

So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.

Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.

Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)

Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.

SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.

Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.

Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)

I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.

American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)

My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.

Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)

I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.

Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.

Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)

If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.

The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)

This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?

The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)

For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.

Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)

Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!

ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.

Good Tier

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)

Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.

Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)

So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.

I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.

Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.

How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.

Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)

Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.

There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.

I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film

I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?

It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)

Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).

It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.

Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.

Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)

You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.

The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.

All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.

On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)

I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.

If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)

EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.

Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)

So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.

Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)

The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.

The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)

I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.

Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)

So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.

First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)

A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.

The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)

I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.

As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)

I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that

Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)

Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.

Mid Tier

Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)

I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)

I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.

Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.

Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?

Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)

In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.

Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)

What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.

Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)

There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.

Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)

It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)

So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.

Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)

I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.

Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)

The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)

So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.

Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)

Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?

Also.

SO. MANY. FEET.

But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:

Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)

I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)

I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?

Shit Tier

Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)

First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.

It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?

I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.

Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)

The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.

The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)

Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.

Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)

I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.

Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)

Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo

Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)

I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.

This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.

Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)

Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.

Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)

So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.

ANYWAY.

I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!

With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.

But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!

Lauren x

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ramblefang · 4 years

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Rabbit Town; BNA ep 2

“Previous Post

Preface

My previous (and first) post of these BNA first impressions ended up being more rambly than even I want to be. Most of that was due to me retelling events, which I was actually doing to help me remember what happened in the episode. So instead, I’m going to try just going through the episode again in another tab and using timestamps (which I think is the norm for this sort of thing anyway.) This technically means I’ll be writing down my second impressions, but I’d really prefer my first watch of episodes to not be interrupted every minute by me needing to tab out and write something. I’ll still try to remember and write out my first impressions anyway.

(Hmm, Netflix doesn’t seem to provide a precise timestamp. Guess I’ll just approximate things by mousing over the...runtime...bar thing.)

Cold Open

0:15 Starting off right where the last episode ended: Michiru saying that she’s human.

0:22 Shirou says she’s a tanuki, based on the appearance of her tail. She seems offended by the idea. My best guess is that her reaction has to do with what tanuki are famous for: having huge balls. (Also they’re magical spirits, which may or may not have something to do with the powers Michiru has.)

0:45 The police arrive and it seems Shirou is a known entity. Gives me Batman vibes. Is Shirou a vigilante? And in that way where the police are just used to it by now?

Opening

0:50 The OP starts and I notice the strands of DNA. Makes me think of how Michiru apparently changed species, and also the way there is some pharmaceutical company behind the very existence of Anima-City. Oh, and I just got that “BNA” is basically a pun on DNA.

1:30 Last time I had recalled something about shadowy feral transformations, but it looks like Michiru transforms into something more equine than anything else. (With what I know from later in the episode, she definitely seems to be a shapeshifter, which I think is appropriate for a tanuki.)

1:40 Oh, and there’s still totally something about this vocal melody that reminds me of “Bad Apple.” Admittedly, it’s been years since I actually listened to that song, so maybe I’ll have to go compare them later.

Forms

2:00 A detail spoiled by the OP: apparently beastmen have human forms that they can switch to, yet Michiru can’t. Honestly, it sort of looks like she’s stuck in a halfway state—a kemonomimi for the most part, though with the nose and “mask”

2:10 Shirou appears surprised, and possibly skeptical, about Michiru being unable to switch forms, indicating that it is by far the norm to be able to do so

2:35 Ah, by the way Michiru speaks about it, switching forms seems to be common knowledge even among humans. Shirou says “Quit talking like a human” in response to the idea that they’re always in beast form, which means this is a common human misconception (and this comes up later as well, illustrating how Michiru really comes across as human in little ways).

2:45 Bystanders seem to be paying special attention to Michiru, likely to her form. (This sets up what happens later over her inability to assume a human form)

Cooperative

3:00 A lot about this scene speaks to me as a trans person: someone running tests that “prove” someone’s identity and insisting that what they see on the surface is all there is to the truth

3:35 Michiru says she must be afflicted with a “disease”, reminding me of the worries I had about a pharmaceutical company being behind the city and how there may be a darker purpose involving a “cure.” Unsettlingly, Michiru also isn’t far off from saying that being a beastman—the very existence of beastmen—is itself a disease. (Mind, she doesn’t literally say that, but based on things she says at the end of the episode, it may not be too far off from how she actually feels—right now.)

4:00 Back to trans stuff, this reminds me of how being trans was, as a whole, labeled as “Gender Identity Disorder”, categorized as a mental illness rather than a natural state of being. (Also, I’m currently building a headcanon of Michiru being a trans girl. Not only because of this stuff, but also due to how she reacted to being called a tanuki: I can interpret her as feeling gender incongruence/dysphoria over the big balls thing.)

4:30 Interesting that this is a “cooperative”. Are they technically not part of the government and are more independent than that? Or maybe the term means something else in Japan.

4:40 Again with trans feels. Filling out forms and needing to identify as something you don’t actually see yourself as

4:50 (Didn’t catch that my first time around: different blood types? Wonder if blood harvesting and blood mixing will be a thing. Remembering the kids that were about to be sold off... Might these things be connected?)

(Rather than making things shorter, this is just resulting in me going even more in-depth. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.)

5:10 Probably a bit of an exaggeration that you can’t get back anything stolen from you: says more about how this is a seedier place than the video in episode 1 let on. We sort of got that from Michiru being pickpocketed in the first place, but this lets us know that that wasn’t an irregular occurrence

5:30 (Also didn’t really absorb this my first watch, but it does make sense that Michiru has been sleeping outside while on the run. Doesn’t feel good to think about how she had to spend that time being scared of the humans around her.)

5:40 Kuro is a wonderfully round birb.

6:10 Michiru making the same connected that I made (and that the audience in general is probably expected to make) about Shirou potentially being that big wolf who was up on the rooftops

6:25 Michiru probably expected Anima-City to be the end of her struggles where everything would just be better and easier. Indeed, she is young and naive.

The Next Morning

7:20 While Michiru may be surprised by the “rule of the strong” here, it does work effectively in parallel with the focus that has been put on money (between these two episodes). The powerful get to do what they want, whether it comes from physical strength or financial power. When it comes down to it, the human world, under a capitalist framework, doesn’t behave all that differently

7:45 Oh, Shirou has some sort of direction connection with the mayor and/or the government. Is this what they meant by “social worker”? Is he some sort of government agent? Does he have the extrajudicial authority to just beat people up (and even kill them?) the way he did with those terrorists?

9:00 (Considering Marie’s apparent connection to Rabbit Town, she probably does have some connection to the pickpocket. But now that I’m making this connection... Did Marie bring those kids to Rabbit Town after they were separated from their parents by beastman hunters?)

Rabbit Town

9:25 My very first expectation with a place called “Rabbit Town” was something akin to “Little China Town”

9:35 Then it struck me as something of a red light district

10:00 And we learn what Michiru might have to deal with in the future for being unable to switch to a human form: more people may think she’s trying to pick a fight.

10:15 Saying that she’s “not some baby” indicates that there are people who can’t control their forms: young children. Or, perhaps, someone who hasn’t been a beastman for a long time. (Maybe she’ll figure it out when/if she gets back with the kids she helped rescue.)

10:45 (Struck by how “coincidental” it is that someone like Grand Grandma would end up with a random kid’s wallet. It’s making me think that the pickpocket and Marie actually funnel people into this person-trafficking ring)

11:15 With my early impression of Rabbit Town being some sort of red light district, I thought this was some sort of communal daycare. (But seeing it again, I’m noticing how stern these women are at seeing the children. Definitely doesn’t look like they care about the kids.)

11:20 The line about them being “women who were betrayed by men”, and the following lines, really fit in with my thinking that this was a red light district, and they probably just didn’t want to outright say these were sex workers. (And maybe some of them are, but it turns out to be far from the whole picture)

11:40 And it does seem to be the image they want to give to Michiru: that they’re a bunch of women struggling together with all of these kids to take care of. There was also a bit about “what it’s like to live as a beastman” which makes me think that it’s definitely the norm for beastmen to be poor—not a surprise since they are clearly an oppressed minority group

Literacy

12:05 Totally expected “Poop” to become the kids’ nickname for Michiru. (Glad it didn’t since it would have made it harder to really care about what happens later.)

12:50 Look at these cuties wanting to learn. (And sobering in retrospect to think how this is probably the most care and attention they’ve had in a while.)

13:10 I forgot to say something about it last episode, but the way Shirou’s sense of smell is visualized is amazing.

13:20 Again with the red light district impression, I was thinking this was the arrival of a pimp or something

13:40 I appreciate Michiru caring about what the kid is already doing instead of reprimanding them for not paying attention

14:00 So we learn about Silver Wolf, who could be the wolf Michiru saw when she arrived in the city. Since Shirou seems to be that wolf, does that mean he’s actually Silver Wolf? Is this an urban legend based on him? Or is he actually some sort of god?

Money

14:45 The demands of payment really played into my pimp impression, but then this guy mentions “letting these women be gangsters.” They could totally still be sex workers as well, but this clues us in that these women may be involved in shadier stuff

15:10 I wonder if the politics of these criminal groups will come more into play in the future. Wouldn’t be surprised if some of the villains we meet end up being allies by the end, considering the way Trigger tends to tell their stories.

15:35 “It’s all women are good for anyway” is an impressively disgusting line to tell us that they’ve been talking about selling the kids. Also, I wonder what it means for the mayor to know about the kids: that the government will be sending people to rescue the kids and shut them down...or that the mayor would be interested in buying...

15:45 The line about the kids being “snatched away” probably means the mayor, so probably not about buying the kids. Still doesn’t mean the “rescue” could end up being more nefarious than it would seem. (Look, I just don’t trust the head of a pharmaceutical company also being a mayor, especially when a video about the city was directly associated with the company instead of being its own thing.)

15:55 Given the earlier scene between Shirou and the mayor, and Shirou being here, I guess he’s something like the mayor’s enforcer? Her trusty hand that does what needs to be done? But I’d also guess that if the mayor is secretly a villain, Shirou has no idea

Trafficking

16:30 I immediately put together that these kids were probably separated from their parents due to attacks by those beastman hunters. (And earlier in this post is when I retroactively put together that Marie, or people with the same job, likely gave/sold the kids to Grand Grandma, if they don’t work for her directly.)

16:40 The rule of the powerful coming up again. This is the way this world (and our world) works. (Which I could go off on a political tangent about, but I’ll refrain for now.)

16:55 Michiru is an atheist. Or at least incredibly pragmatic. Not the most helpful thing to say to people who literally can’t do anything in this situation, but I appreciate the sentiment of actually doing what you can instead of hoping someone else does something about it

17:20 Hmm, no one seems too surprised about Michiru’s expanding tail powers. Maybe this is a relatively normal tanuki thing?

18:00 But the stretchy arms totally aren’t normal, even for a tanuki. Thinking about it, no one else has obviously shown any kind of powers yet. Shirou’s fight with the terrorists could have just been his physical prowess. Do these powers have something to do with Michiru’s transformation from human to beastman?

18:50 In case you didn’t catch on to everyone’s surprise, confirmation that what Michiru just did was very unusual.

19:25 Never a big fan of the “even if they’re women” line. They’ve been doing a very bad thing. Stopping them shouldn’t have anything to do with gender. Why even bring it up. But I guess it does play into Shirou being a masculine and “chivalrous” type of character, as well as this being a generally patriarchal society (which isn’t really any different from our world). (Thinking back to my post on the previous episode, I guess “this isn’t too different from our world” is probably the point that the pseudo-branding contributes to.)

20:00 It seems that Shirou’s relationship to the police is less like Batman, and more like he just outranks them.

20:20 “Facility” is such a cold and impersonal term that it really does make me worry about what the government is going to do with these kids. Again, pharmaceutical company. (I’ll make sure to go back to episode 1 and get a better look at the company’s actual name so I can use that. May as well if I’ll continue to make a big fuss over it.)

20:35 “Even though you’re a beastman, don’t you have a human heart?” is a horribly offensive question. I was initially going to refer to it as a microaggression, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how terrible it is. It’s heavily loaded with the ideas: 1) beastmen are expected to be bad, hence the “even though”, and 2) being human is inherently a good thing. Despite what she said to Shirou at the end of last episode, it seems that she really just has the inverse of his beliefs. And this is so clearly something that only a human would say that it convinces Grand Grandma of Michiru’s “humanity”

21:20 Shirou, needing to wait for evidence before he can do anything, kind of illustrates Michiru’s point of view of not being able to count on society—on anyone else—to be able to help you.

21:30 Shirou, representing the police and government authority to an extent, believing that he “never makes mistakes” again reminds me of the protests we’ve had throughout this year. How the police totally does make mistakes—or rather, the way they don’t even view things they’ve done as mistakes—is totally a problem. (ACAB)

21:40 Following up on what Grand Grandma mentioned earlier about being “betrayed by men”, Michiru questions why it’s only “women and children” that Shirou is protecting. Is it that men don’t need to be protected? “What makes males so special? Are men really that great?”

21:55 And Michiru outright says what she had only implied earlier. Also, she seems a bit scattered between being angry at men, being angry at beastmen, being angry at the police, bring angry at society, and being angry in general. But I get it.

And that’s the end of the episode. I’m not sure if this is how I’ll continue to do these impressions, but I guess I’ll have to see how I feel about it once I get to episode 3. Maybe I’ll try out some genuine first-impressions, even if it means interrupting the episode constantly.

#bna #first impressions

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