#fridgewitch rants

[fridgewitch]

"Simple pleasures for simple minds."

FUCK YOU.

Just because YOU don't enjoy a cartoon or a flower poking through the bushes or pancake art or fucking JOY in your life doesn't give you the privilege to shame those that do. I'm sorry that the actual small and painstaking intimacies of life don't do it for you, buddy, go enjoy your forty hour Joker circle-jerk and leave the rest of us alone.

[fridgewitch]

Hey, here's a quick tip for dealing with assholes; if someone laughs at you, for something odd you did, for how you look, for doing something that's a part of your culture- look them dead in the eye and ask:

Why is that funny?

"Oh," thay'll say, "you know..."

No, I don't. Why is it funny? I wanna know why you're laughing. Be persistent. Channel your inner six-year-old and keep asking.

They'll either continue to dodge the question until their resolve fizzles out, or they'll say something like "it's true what they say..."

What do they say? I'm curious.

If they have a shred of dignity and human decency about them, they'll drop it right there and maybe learn a thing or two about respect. If not, you'll catch them regurgitating whatever hate-speech they learned from either the internet or their parents, and maybe hearing themselves saying it out loud will be a fucking wake-up call for them.

If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke. If you CAN'T explain a joke, chances are it's founded in internalized othering of a particular group, and you should take a good look at why you're laughing.

[fridgewitch]

How many times am I going to have to come out to my mother before she stops selectively forgetting that I wanna date women? Three? Twenty? Forty-seven? WHO KNOWS???

[fridgewitch]

Country station on the radio in my mom's car: And coming up next, "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town.

Me: Oooh?

Song: I wanna taste her lips, I wanna drown in her perfume-

Me: OOOOHHHHHH??????

Song: Maybe then you'll love me as much as you love her-

Me: Oh for fuck's sake, you heterosexual COWARDS.

[fridgewitch]

I feel like there's this weird notion among the general populous that you can't have like, TOO MANY things that make you different, you know?

Like you can only have one or two elements that set you apart from the white, cis, ablebodied and neurotypical "norm", to be at an acceptable level of different. Any more than that and you're just "confused" or "attention seeking".

Too many things, and you're too far removed from their experience, so you just don't exist- you CAN'T exist. You're too different from me to be a real person, you must be making it up.

So clearly, I can't be queer, AND autistic, AND nonbinary, because nobody can be that complicated to deal with, right? Surely the vast expanse of the human condition wouldn't allow for all of those "issues" in one person, would it?

Wait 'till they find out I'm also allergic to cinnamon! I might as well be a goddamn unicorn all of the improbable things going on in here!

[fridgewitch]

“I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.”

No, Larry, you’re a punk-ass bitch who thinks that dealing with the consequences of the stupid shit you did as a teen makes you a goddamn martyr. Sit the fuck down.

[fridgewitch]

I will never understand people who, like... aren’t passionate about anything? Especially art? Books, movies, games, paintings, music: none of it... affected you? There was no piece of art in this world that touched your soul, that spoke to you, that made you think differently? Y’know, what art is supposed to do?

Does the world just... pass you by, without ever engaging you? Do expressions of life and emotion just happen to you, and you go “That was neat”, and walk away?

How?

[fridgewitch]

The Christians are at it again, fam.

Just saw a book at work titled "The Problem with Self Care", or something similar, and I glanced at it, wondering if it was about big business commodifying human happiness or using the mantra of self-appreciation to peddle more shit-

But NO, the fucking synopsis on the back blatantly says that believing that you are enough in this world is a LIE, and only through JESUS can you truly ever be accepted.

I want to strangle a soccer mom.

[fridgewitch]

Just saw the trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s “Split” and can I just say that people with dissociative disorders have enough fucking problems without crackpot Hollywood fearmongers villainizing them and putting them on display like a goddamn freak show.

What message are we sending to the people in the real world that struggle with these issues every day when we constantly make them the bad guy? What do all of the Norman Osborns, all of the Dr Jekyls, all of the Smeagols and the Arthur Weskers and the Mort Raineys and the Tyler Durdens say to the living, breathing people out there with mental disorders that are just trying to accept who they are?

They’re saying “You are dangerous, you are unpredictable, we cannot trust you, and you cannot even trust yourself.”

We have to change this mindset, and we have to change it NOW.

[fridgewitch]

Dear parents,

If your child EVER tells you that you make them feel like shit because you have expectations for them that they can’t reach, or you say things that degrade them, however unintentionally-

DO NOT BE A FUCKING DICKBAG AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH HARDER YOU HAVE IT THAN THEM. THEY FUCKING KNOW. BUT FOR ONCE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU JUST LISTENED TO YOUR CHILD AND TOLD THEM THAT YOU LOVE THEM AND  THAT YOU’RE THERE FOR THEM. THAT YOU WOULD NEVER INTENTIONALLY HURT THEM.  THAT’S ALL THEY WANT FROM YOU. 

[fridgewitch]

@ grown ass men who complain about the “burdens” of parenthood and how “annoying” their kids are:

GROW THE FUCK UP YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE BY BEING A WHINY PISSBABY YELLING ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER IT WAS BEFORE YOU HAD YOUR KID AND YOU SURE AS SHIT AREN’T GOING TO GET “RESPECT” FROM YOUR KID BY SHOUTING AT THEM TO SHUT UP THERE JUST GOING TO SCREAM LOUDER BECAUSE YOU’RE SETTING SUCH A SHITTY EXAMPLE FOR THEM YOU FESTERING SHITBLOSSOM

[fridgewitch]

MY FAMILY JUST SAID THAT THE CHARLESTON CONFEDERATE FLAG'S REMOVAL WAS "A SIGN THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS LOST ITS VALUES AND IS GOING TO HELL" AND THEN HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT THERE ARE MORE BLACK RACISTS THAN WHITE RACISTS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SMOKIG BECAUSE KEEP THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME.

[fridgewitch]

Is anyone else having trouble with Netflix?

I tried going on Netflix this morning, and I was surprised when the site asked me to log in to my account, because it normally remembers me and lets me right in. But I thought “Okay, they might have had a site update or whatever and now I have to sign back in.” But after several attempts with multiple passwords, the FIRST of which should have been the correct one, I finally just hit “forgot password” in the hopes that I could reset it. But when I checked for the conformation email, all I  saw was an email saying “YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS BEEN CHANGED IN OUR SYSTEM, AS YOU REQUESTED.” 

Um, no, Netflix. I did not request.

So now either Netflix his having a conniption, or someone has stolen my account.

FUCK.

[fridgewitch]

Dear hair stylists:

Please do not put shit in my hair without permission.

I don't care how volumizing it is, how soft it'll make my hair, or how good YOU think it'll look. It's MY goddamn hair. 

If you want to try something in it, fucking ASK me.  Don't just start slathering some unknown goop on my scalp. I could have an allergy, I could be avoiding certain products on moral or health-related grounds. 

You don't know.

Yes, when you ask, I might say no, but that's kind of my right as a customer. 

[fridgewitch]

My brother's trying to vent to me about how horrible his life is because he thinks his ex girlfriend, the mother of his son, was sleeping around on him before she left him. Keep in mind, she left BECAUSE he accused her of sleeping around, in addition to making quite a few remarks about her race and her family. A+ boyfriending, yo.

After a few minutes of ranting, he turns to me and says "You know what I'm saying?" And I replied that no, no I didn't, but I can understand that he's angry and needs to blow off some steam, and I wasn't going to bad mouth a woman that I had considered a friend when I had known her.

My brother mad a face and left the room, all the while muttering about how he can't believe that "his own flesh and blood won't even stick up for him."

I'M SORRY, AM I OBLIGATED TO BLINDLY AGREE WITH YOUR WHINY PISSBABY RACISM AND SELF PITY? AM I SUPPOSED TO PAT YOUR SHOULDER AND SAY "THERE, THERE" WHILE YOU SPEW THE MOST IGNORANT AND PETULANT RHETORIC YOU CAN CONCOCT? FUCK THAT NOISE.

[fridgewitch]

*furiously liking every post on my dash with the hope of rebloging later because I’m on mobile and I can’t see any of the fucking pictures*