#kind of a redux of my earlier post

[jenna-darknight]

Fair point and I don’t think you’re wrong, especially post Nocturne (Nocturne is its own beast and I think most of the reasons at least have some positives to consider). Aside from maybe Redux most games don’t bother making law palatable while they do at least try to humanize chaos.

Some of the earlier games vary on that though. In SMT II the law path generally comes off better in my opinion (IV Apocalypse ends up kind of hitting similar beats tbh). You do end up fighting YHVH but the other law characters like Zayn/Satan and Gabriel come off like people who genuinely care and want to help people do better and the whole path is generally about helping and saving people instead of just being in lock step with YHVH. In SMT Nine (a game I could barely get through because Xbox emulation sucks and it only ever released in Japan) the light law and neutral law paths are generally much better for humanity than their counterparts on chaos (light chaos is your standard chaos route and is pretty boring honestly, same with dark light). That said they’re exceptions, not the rule and Atlus certainly hasn’t gone back to those styles since Apocalypse made no money.

Both gaining and losing hope that Metaphor Refantazio will say something new/interesting about religion.

So far the official state religion, Sanctism, is the typical only-opinion-allowed-at-Atlus take on organized religion, where it's all the worst elements throughout history crammed together and that's the end of it. They even went as far as to make the prayer gesture covering one's eyes with both hands-gee, I wonder if that symbolizes blind faith? So far, so formulaic, right? Well, yes...but also not entirely. See, I randomly decided to do the activity that raises your Tolerance stat(it's just like persona where you have 5 characteristic stats, only they're called kingly virtues instead), and the NPC offering it was of a tribe that has it's own religion. It started off typical enough, with a description of how the Sanctist church denounced them as pagans, but then something interesting happened. The NPC stated that his tribe's faith was exclusive to them, while Sanctism could be followed by members of every tribe which was, in his words, "a problem". A religion being mutli-ethnic is... a problem? And then it hit me-I'm increasing my Tolerance stat. Tolerance-as in, tolerating other viewpoints that you don't immediately agree with. I'd expected just a simple overview of the tribe's culture followed by more lines about how awful all this discrimination is and wouldn't it be nice if that wasn't happening, but no, Atlus actually went the extra mile and made the dialogue fit.

I'm sure if I keep going with this guy I'll get to the inevitable "there are no right/easy answers" conclusion, but getting there by showing a viewpoint that your average joe would normally be adverse to both humanizes this nameless NPC(yes, I know that "human" means something else in Metaphor, I just can't think of a better term) by assigning him a somewhat intolerant viewpoint while simultaneously not denouncing him for it, because all tolerance has to start somewhere and in this world it's pretty much gotta start from absolute zero: with everyone hating everyone else, someone has to be the first to break the cycle and say "ok, you may be judging me by my tribe and faith, but I'm not going to judge you for the same things because that's always the wrong thing to do even if I've been a victim of it in the past". I'm still wary about this whole idea of the Elda tribe being condemned directly by Sanctist scripture(it really seems like there's no point to it beyond Atlus grinding its eternal axe against religion), but I'm not even past the first dungeon yet and we've already gotten deeper into morality and religion than almost any other Atlus game I can think of.

[yayninjabob]

I had a chance to start rereading Villain Redux from the beginning recently (since you are on hiatus I figured I had time) and I just wanted to tell you how much I admire the crazy amount of detail you put into your writing. I realize now that there was so much on my first read through that I never noticed and so many nuggets of foreshadowing that went over my head that I can really appreciate more on my rereading. (1/2)

Plot points I never saw coming like Bubble's power growing and also becoming ill from her own power malfunction I realize you had been laying groundwork for since the start. Buttercup/Joey is my favorite so I paid less attention to Bubbles and Blossom parts during my 1st read but I have a deeper appreciation for them now especially Bubbles. Please take all the time you need writing. It's worth the wait.(2/2)

OK, first of all, SORRY for the delayed late answer and THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kind message and encouragement!

I can't tell you how giddy I get hearing people say they're re-reading or have read the Redux multiple times.

I do try to layer my writing and all the foreshadowy bits are usually me just feeling sneaky during writing time haha and thinking about where the story is going. It's so fun to think about which sneaky bits reveal themselves to readers on a revisit to the earlier chapters, ha!

AND YAY BUBBLES! I'm so glad you now have a deeper appreciation for her and Blossom on your second readthrough!

And thanks so much for the encouragement with taking my time and all! Ugh, that means so much. I have been taking my time with it but at the same time my anxiety to GET IT DONE has been through the roof lol, so encouragement like yours certainly helps.

But yes, as of this morning (3/9/23), I've made far enough progress in writing that I can say we will be resuming updates very soon. I'm just SO busy in my everyday life as of late, and I know my writing time is going to remained limited for the majority of this year SO I'm trying to basically FINISH our entire story before I start posting so we won't have another hiatus/break again.

RN I'm looking at third Wednesday of May to share 24 and then new chapters every third Wednesday after that till Chapter 28 and... we're done. :')

[novaviis]

hiii um. so while i totally love the fact that you're revisiting old works and making them even better + straightening out the timeline, and without question its so fun to read the reduxes. um. I also kind of miss the originals, too, if that makes sense? There's just some type of beautiful nostalgia that happens when reading the the originals from years ago, when Watercolour had just started out.

(continued because i ran out of letters). So, I guess I was just wondering that if you do still have the original drafts saved... would you be willing to post them separately somewhere? I would have saved them on my own, but I didn't think of it/get to it before the reduxes were posted. I don't intend for this to be annoying or imply I don't love the rewrites; they're amazing and I'm grateful you've taken time to do them. I just miss the originals too. Thanks so much! 😭😭💖💖☺

I have actually been thinking about this. I did something similar with Light Me A Lantern, and Inuyasha fic I finished last year. I had been working on it for so long that I wasn't really happy with the earlier chapters anymore. However, I'd started writing it on FF.Net. So, what I did was, as I posted it gradually to AO3, I went through and edited those chapters I wasn't happy with anymore. That way, I was able to keep the original version on FF.Net.

That isn't necessarily something I can or really want to do with Watercolour. I'm not uploading it to another platform, so it doesn't really make sense to. However, I might do another work around, maybe start a tag and a section on my blog to upload the original versions of the stories I revamps as a sort of Archive. I don't really have the time or wherewithall to get that started right now, but it's something I'm thinking about in the future!

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce our next shining star for the Creator Spotlight... @radkoko​!

This is a member’s only activity where we reach out to one of the talented people in our community each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

We hope you enjoy learning about Rad & her creations as much as we did. Please give her some love ❤️  

Pronouns: She/Her

Type of Creator: Writer & Artist

Where to find her:

AO3

Tumblr

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum, and be a creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks?

Over 10 years. First published fic was Dear Captain. I have one older fic on a lost AFF account, that has KakaIru as a background couple, but not sure how much earlier that was, maybe a year or two. My artwork has been a lot more recent, I would draw for fun sometimes, but I started drawing more KakaIru stuff in just the last 3 or so years.

2. What are you working on right now?

A redux of that original fic, now a multi-chapter pirate epic! Ok maybe that’s overselling it, but it’s 13k, and only about half done…

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

I love hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, and any kind of AU always gets my heart. Also as a specific KakaIru thing, I love Iruka getting to tell Kakashi off, so if there’s any time he can do that, I want to make it happen.

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

That’s hard, I could say my new fic, but I’ve been talking about that one too much so I’ll go with my Resisting and Giving In pair of fics. It was one of my most ambitious fics and even though it was only for a few weeks I liked leaving a story on a bit of a cliffhanger.

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

I said it before but I’ll say it again, Pirates! I’m very excited for this fic, I just gotta finish writing it. I want to share it, but want to get a little further before I start posting so that I don’t leave readers hanging for too long while I finish it up. I guess I do have another in progress fic which is inspired by The Proposal, where Kakashi lies saying that Iruka is his fiancé, when he’s actually just his assistant. And Iruka’s “family” (the Sarutobi’s) find out and they have to come home and fake their relationship for the weekend of Asuma’s birthday party.

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

No OCs that I use in my KakaIru fics, but I have a character called Kotsuki and I use her as my character/name when I create characters in most video games.

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

Date Me! I loved writing that fic but it was my first Big Bang fic and I’m not really that great on a deadline… I had a first draft already written, otherwise I don’t think I would have finished in time. However it’s still one of my favorite final pieces because one of the first KakaIru artists I started following did a piece for that fic and it just makes my heart happy.

8. Do you have any favourite scenes from something you’ve created?

Maybe a sneak peak from the pirate fic? I have some art that would suit the scene, too.

The storm raged on around them. Waves threatening to tip their vessel. The sky lit up as the lightning danced in the darkened clouds. The crashes of thunder surrounding them, almost deafening.

Iruka steeled himself and ran up to the quarterdeck where the pirate captain was still casually observing the fight.

“Leave my ship alone!” Iruka yelled over the dissonance of activity.

He swung his sword towards the man hoping to catch him off guard, but had no such luck.

Their swords clashed mimicking the thunderous crashes as the lightning sparked around them.

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

Two things really give me inspiration. One is drawings or images people share, I love imagining the story behind that one frame. Second is movies, TV shows, and books; I love taking the same basic plot and thinking of how Kakashi and Iruka would react in a similar situation. Something like Teaching the Impossible was inspired by Jane Eyre, and Date Me! was from a K-Drama called Her Private Life. Both a similar concept, but not necessarily a direct recreation.

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

Teaching the Impossible is probably one of the most meaningful, mostly because it was my first big fic after a long break when I was focusing on another fandom. I’d taken a step away from KakaIru and it was the one that brought me back.

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Post-Moments

a ‘momentary’ follow-up ... of sorts ...

Our Moments: Chapter 1: Five Words (post-Leonard Betts) Chapter 2: Sidebar Nonsense (post-Memento Mori) Chapter 3: Interim (floating somewhere around Unrequited) Chapter 4: Max 2.0 (post-Tempus Fugit/Max) Chapter 5: Shadowed Grey Eyes Chapter 6: The Warmest Thing I Own Chapter 7: Fancy Paper Napkins Chapter 8: End of the Road (post-Redux/Redux 2) Chapter 9: Post-Moments

@today-in-fic

&&&&&&&&&&

First thing back was her sense of smell. It took nearly a week but suddenly, as she walked, unannounced but never unwelcome into his apartment, she stopped, the look of surprise on her face made him immediately laugh, then tilt his head, “you shouldn’t be that surprised to see me here. It’s my apartment.”

Ignoring his statement, she quick-stepped his way, burying her face first in his shirt, then, pulling him to her level, into his neck, sniffing like a bloodhound on the trail of some erstwhile criminal with a bag of treats. So taken aback by the invasion, he simply stood there, letting her take several deep inhales before finally reaching for her shoulders, “you keep breathing like that and you’ll pass out.”

Twisting her head, she gave him a quick kiss, then dropped back flat-footed, forcing him to once again look down at her while she looked up, “I haven’t been able to smell you since day 12 of ‘IT’ so I’m making up for lost time.”

She’d told him, finally, after he’d repeatedly offered her tempting foods to try to coax some weight back on her bony frame, that she hadn’t been able to smell anything, and therefore, taste anything, for awhile but she’d never stated the exact day until now and standing there, already changed into jeans and a t-shirt, an epiphany of sorts smacked him hard upside the head, “what? Day 12?” Ignorant idiocy settling in, “Shit. You sat through a steak, my famous garlic mushrooms, six tubs of ice cream, and all those M&Ms I kept feeding you and you couldn’t taste a thing? The amount of money I could have saved during those months I tempted you with anything I could find while, really, it all tasted like sawdust.” Feigning irritation but failing miserably as he scooted closer, kissing her forehead, “what a crock of shit.”

“I got …” being generous for his sake, “hints of flavor.”

“Fuck, woman, we’re having a steak and ice cream orgy tonight. I’m going shopping.”

She stopped his movements with hands on arms, “hey, let me go taste something and see if that came back as well before you waste all your money on cow foods.”

Following her to his kitchen, “both things really do involve cows. That’s rather unnerving, actually.”

With a grin, she found a cookie, then, tasting it, she shook her head, “I’d save the cow for another day.”

Mulder, wondering if his earlier suggestion of Mexican for dinner was still appropriate, he decided ‘no’, then, “well, how about we taking a smelling tour of DC and eat toast for dinner?”

He got a well-deserved backhand to his chest, “we are eating at Papadapoulous’ House of Salsa tonight because you’ve been talking about that place ad nauseum all week. Get your coat.” When he didn’t move, she nodded, giving him a smile, “we can do the smelling tour after, okay?”

“Deal.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

Taste came back ten days later. Just as Mulder came out of her bathroom, about to announce that no one should go in there for 35 to 45 minutes, Scully took a sip of his ice tea and spit it right back out, soaking her shirt and the floor in front of her. Mulder forgot his comment and flew over to her, socks sliding on the polished wood floor, “what happened?”

Feeling like a complete and utter moron, she first retrieved a towel to mop both herself and the floor, then looked at her partner, “I stole some of your ice tea and I could taste it and it scared me, if you can believe it. I wasn’t expecting anything and suddenly there was something and my first reaction,” beginning to laugh at the whole situation, “I spit it out. I didn’t even think to swallow it.”

Mulder shook his head, “are you sure we’re still talking about ice tea and not dirty things?”

He could almost hear her brain suddenly shift gears, brakes squeaking, mind two steps behind, “what?”

It was his turn to laugh, pulling her into a hug, soaking wet shirt and all, “I’ll give you two minutes to think about it, then I’ll explain if necessary.”

It took almost four seconds before, “I’ve never been a spitter, Mulder.”

That worked entirely too well for him and dismissing all but his hairy-moled, make-up caked fourth-grade teacher from his mind, he held her another minute then moved back, calmed down again, “you should go change your shirt.”

“No wet t-shirt comments?” Her sassy retort told him both that she knew what her swallowing comment had done to him and what the wet t-shirt mention would. She was evil. She knew it. He knew it. He loved it.

“Just go change. Tonight, we shop for steak.”

Loving him to pieces, she reached for his elbow, playing with the sharp bent end, “so, I know we just had Mexican a few days back but now that I can taste things, I desperately want salsa and a Margarita.”

“Large?”

“The biggest one they fucking sell, pardon my French.”

Their kiss was much longer this time, Scully’s fingers firmly twirled in his shirt by the time they were done, Mulder’s hands curled around her ass, “then can I make you mushrooms this weekend?”

“Pounds of them. Extra garlic and butter,” suddenly swallowing, “yeah, we need to go eat.”

“Lead the way.”

&&&&&&&&&&

His arrival at her house that Friday night with grocery bags was, oddly, the first time her body reacted to him. They’d been making out, to use the juvenile-y appropriate term, but nothing more, Scully still recovering, Mulder still nervous about 12000 things between and surrounding them both.

But seeing him standing there, in her door, goofy smile and slipping bottle of wine in hand, she felt something. It was a fast twinge but it was familiar but surprising and her widening eyes told him something but he wasn’t sure what and he didn’t ask.

Had he asked, he may have gotten an answer that would have necessitated bringing fourth-grade teacher back … but instead, he walked in, setting bags on counter before turning, “hungry?”

For the first time in months, she appreciated the underlying double-meaning he hadn’t intended, “yes. Very much so. How long do the mushrooms take to cook?”

“At least a few hours.” Pulling things from bags, “but I bought appetizers and,” holding up several National Enquirers, “reading material. Let’s see if we can find a case somewhere in the tropics. I could use a ‘vacation’.”

Only Mulder.

Mushrooms cleaned and slow-cooking, they nibbled their way through eight different kinds of cheeses, each one a symphony to Scully’s previously deadened tongue. She may have let slip a ‘hhhmmm’ that could have possibly been interpreted as a moan by one Fox Mulder but he didn’t comment and she kept doing it.

He was glad he wore the looser jeans tonight.

They chuckled and argued in tandem while thumbing through the papers Mulder brought: telling stories, tossing theories, debunking nonsense. Finishing the first bottle of wine slowly, Mulder offered a second but Scully shook her head, “save it for dinner.”

Agreeing, he moved to stir the crockpot, then returned, towel over his shoulder, licking his fingers from the buttery sample he’d eaten in the kitchen, “They’re getting there.”

Second twinge, this one longer, had her lower abdomen contracting in a tickling giggle kind of way. The shiver up her spine caused her to visibly vibrate for a moment but Mulder, luckily or unluckily, not noticing, sat back down, returning to the ‘Owl that carried off a family of four in their camper van’ story on page 26.

What the hell.

Then again, he was licking his fingers.

The third zing when she returned to this thought was not as strong as the second but made her smile nonetheless, which Mulder actually did notice, “what?”

She pinked-up instantly, having forgotten the heat of a blush across her skin, and hands to cheeks suddenly, “just … a little too much wine.”

He moved his hand to her pulled up knee, squeezing it, “we don’t have to open the second one. It’ll keep.”

“No. No. I, uh, I, … I’m fine. I … I’m fine.”

Gibbering idiot more like it but whatever.

&&&&&&&&&&

If sex were food, Scully decided, it would be that steak. Mulder went for broke, filet and strip, buttery smooth, medium rare, warm, pink, juicy, perfect blend of garlic and butter, rosemary and pepper. Between the taste; the sight of Mulder across the table; the smell of wine and smoke; the look of him, messy-haired and smiling, relaxed three feet from her; the feel of impending summer breezes through the window, she tipped into sensory overload, eyes shutting as she tried to bring herself back to some kind of alignment.

Then, eyes still closed, she heard his voice, “hey, you. Ya’llright?”

The tinging vibration hit her full-force, arm hair standing on end, neck flushing, nipples tightening, a thousand images of him and her, himandher, flashing through her mind, driving the feeling shooting from stomach to clit to soul in speed of light, circuitous fashion, “yeah. Yeah. Just enjoying.”

Her voice was all over the damn map with those four words and Mulder, knowing her better than he knew himself, tilted his head, finally understanding exactly what was happening, “I can see that.”

Quaking quieting somewhat, she shifted in her chair, hoping to relieve some of the pressure she was feeling, pressing down on the cushion like she was seventeen and at the movie theater with her boyfriend, begging silently for him to touch her and simultaneously thinking about touching herself when she got home. Not able to look him in the eye, however, she cut another piece of her steak, praying she wouldn’t choke.

Shifting himself as well, watching her hips search for a good spot against the chair, he kept any comment to himself. He hadn’t pushed anything these last weeks, knowing she was recovering, finding herself again, situating ‘us’ and ‘we’ into a previously accepted solitary status quo of ‘I’ and ‘me’.

But, fuck, he had been tempted and tonight, seeing her like this, pushed his resolve to the breaking point. If she made one more sound in her throat, he truly believed he’d explode under the table, a quiet yet uncontrollable manifestation of four years and infinite wishes. “More wine?”

“Yes, please.”

She fought herself the rest of the meal, making stilted, dinner time conversation that they both saw through, both breathed through, both suffered through.

Dish cleanup and pajama changing quieted her down, her mind focused on other things for a little while but once they’d sat down on the couch, lights off, movie in, ice cream waiting in the freezer for later, she became acutely aware of his proximity to her. He’d offered her half the afghan, shifted the coffee table a little closer for her feet to rest on if she wanted, kissed the top of her head just as the opening credits began. She, in turn, had to keep reminding herself how to breathe evenly.

Sensory overload was kicking in again, the smell of him, his radiating heat, his voice as he contributed oft-placed comments on police procedurals happening on the TV. Her hand found its way to his thigh, fingers playing with the inside seam of his cut-off sweats. His own landed on her flannel pants, roughly same distance between allowable knee and forbidden juncture.

Her voice surprised her, “Mulder?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your stance on third base?”

Slowly, he found the remote and paused before swinging his gaze in her direction, “Yankees or something else?”

Her inhale shuddered, “not the Yankees.”

His hand immediately slid from allowable to not-so-forbidden now, caught between viced thighs, “this third base?”

Confession tumbled from her lips, “I haven’t done anything or felt anything, really, in months and suddenly you walked in today with grocery bags and that stupid grin of yours and you smell fantastic and something kicked in and,” wiggling out of necessity to attempt to … whatever …, “I don’t recall the last time I was this …”

Mulder finished her sentence with a grin, “horny?”

“Yes!”

Somehow, he lifted her bodily onto his lap, his chest to her back, hand sliding effortlessly down the front of her pajamas, finding the sweet spot before she had time to so much as offer the feeble word of ‘bed’.

Then she didn’t care.

At all.

Focusing mainly on his fingers, warm, quick, unexperienced but willing to learn. Instead of following, she led, whispering once to move a little to the left, whispering again to go harder, arching her back as she came in under a minute, body shuddering, twitching, before settling back down.

Over her shoulder, his husky voice sounded in her ear, “can I be next?”

It took all of nine seconds to stand up, drop her clothes to the floor, order him to lift up, pull his pants off, then climb on, already wet, already slick, already taking him inside with a slip and a slide.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Her giggles made him smile, her rosy cheeks made him happy, her warm skin within lips reach made him dizzy but above all else, her panting breath against his neck made him ecstatic, knowing she was alive and well and would be for the foreseeable future. When she finally calmed down, knees digging into the couch springs, skin glued to skin, she pulled herself back, sweat running down Mulder’s chest where they had been pressed together moments earlier, “I had planned for that to be a little … less …” waving her hands around in wordless definition, “that.”

“Was perfect to me.”

Kissing him lightly, then resting forehead to his, “one day, this will all be organized and we’ll make it to the bedroom.”

Hands back on her bare ass, “highly doubt that but it’s nice to have a plan.”

Sitting back, she reached out to him, lightly running her fingers along his hairline, feather-touch making his eyes shut, “I think we should do that again later.”

About to ask why not now, he had an epiphany of sorts and looking at her, square and jokingly judging, “you want ice cream, don’t you?”

This time, her nose scrunched up when she smiled, nodding with enthusiasm, “kind of. But I promise, you’ll always beat out ice cream after today … mostly.”

Pulling her down for a kiss, he then squeezed her thighs to nudge her off him, “come on, woman. Let’s go clean up so we can have dessert.”

“I love you, Mulder.”

“You just love my Rocky Road.”

“That, too.”

[aion-rsa]

Will an “Aggressively Anti-Snyder” Warner Stop the SnyderVerse?

https://ift.tt/33xFSwf

Say what you will about Zack Snyder’s Justice League, but the eponymous director’s streaming superhero redux managed to branch the DC Extended Universe movies off into its own tangential timeline, which has since been dubbed the “SnyderVerse” by the fandom that now passionately hashtags for its restoration in the studio’s main continuity. While recent revelations about Snyder’s rough relationship with Warner make said restoration unlikely, the director doesn’t entirely shut the door on such a notion.

We know that Snyder, once the driving creative force behind Warner’s DCEU, was already the odd man out with the studio by the time a personal tragedy incited him to relinquish the director’s chair of 2017 megamovie Justice League to the controversial tenure of Joss Whedon, but a recent comment from the director has stamped the idea with a powerful punctuation. While Snyder’s focus right now may be this month’s release of his new feature, Netflix-bound horror film Army of the Dead, one promotional interview in particular, with Jake Hamilton, saw him field the inevitable SnyderVerse question with an answer that’s rather inauspicious for its advocates.

“Warner Bros. has been aggressively anti-Snyder, if you will,” reveals Snyder. “Clearly, they’re not interested in my take. But I would also say that they certainly weren’t interested in—I would have said originally—in my take on Justice League. They certainly made decisions about that. I love the characters and I love the worlds and I think it’s an amazing place to make a movie and it’s glorious IP, so there’s that.”

Indeed, Snyder’s status as persona non grata with Warner was bluntly revealed, rendering the mere existence of Zack Snyder’s Justice League even more of an industry anomaly. The film, a four-hour tour-de-Snyder streaming offering that hit HBO Max back on March 18, was the culmination of nearly four years of persistent tagging of #ReleaseTheSnyderCut by fans of Snyder’s darker DCEU vision to press Warner to release the director’s pure vision of the film to contrast with the trimmed-down Whedon-directed theatrical release. Ultimately, proponents hailed the once-mythical manifestation of the Snyder Cut as a triumph—opacity of its streaming metrics notwithstanding—and their efforts have switched to a new hashtag campaign, #RestoreTheSnyderVerse, since it was revealed that Whedon’s film, not Snyder’s, was still considered Warner’s canonical version. It’s a development that obviously didn’t sit well with Snyder’s vocal fandom, which has become empowered by its achievement of essentially having willed the Snyder Cut into existence.

“I don’t know what could be done as you go forward other than, I think the fan movement is so strong, and the fan community is so—the intention is so pure, and I really have huge respect for it,” Snyder muses on the significantly narrowed chances of his return to the DCEU. “I would hope that cooler heads would prevail with them and that they would see that there’s this massive fandom that wants more of them, but who knows what they’ll do.”

Read more

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Snyder does seem to offer his fans small silver lining for some kind of reconciliation of the SnyderVerse. However, it’s important to remember that his fallout with Warner was the culmination of an initially auspicious working relationship that saw him tapped as the primary creative fulcrum for efforts to concoct a lucrative, Marvel Cinematic Universe-like franchise of shared-continuity DC Comic movies beginning with his directorial tenure on 2013’s Henry Cavill-starring Superman reboot, Man of Steel. While that film’s worldwide gross of $668 million worldwide wasn’t especially impressive against its $225 million budget when all expenses were taken into account, the studio still stuck to Snyder’s plans. Indeed, Snyder was going bring Batman into the fray, played by a big star in Ben Affleck, for a crossover-setting quasi-sequel that would become 2016’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. However, that film’s $873.6 million worldwide take wasn’t a significant improvement to its Batman-less predecessor against an upped $250 million budget.

Consequently, the backs of studio suits had effectively turned by the time Snyder got to work on follow-up Justice League. Warner’s once-accommodating approach was significantly altered, resulting in the tightening of Snyder’s creative leash, since the studio had attributed the poor performances of the previous films to the director’s bleak, iconography-imbued approach. Thusly, since Warner wanted to protect the increasingly-expanding budget it had invested, production of the ensemble-driven third film became a battle between Snyder’s movie moroseness and the studio attempted to lighten his tone by injecting comic relief moments to make it into a popcorn-friendly crowd-pleaser. Therefore, the studio habitually nixed many of the ambitious, plot-diverging concepts that would eventually surface in the Snyder Cut. Deepening the divide, DC Entertainment creative chief Geoff Johns and Warner Bros. co-production head Jon Berg were deployed to “babysit” Snyder; a dynamic that became irreparably damaged upon the death of his daughter, Autumn.

Of course, even on the back of team member Wonder Woman’s solo film success earlier that year, Whedon’s 2017 Justice League movie fatalistically flopped, having grossed $657 million worldwide, failing to make a lofty $750 million break-even mark. While Warner would likely have preferred to leave that film in the past, especially since they’d found success and acclaim in the solo movie arena with Wonder Woman and, a year later, with Aquaman, the eventual manifestation of Zack Snyder’s Justice League came about due to substantial support—notably from the film’s stars—and possibly a “in for a penny, in for a pound” mentality to salvage the $300 million-budgeted box office boondoggle in some manner. While said cinematic salvaging would cost Warner an additional $70 million to complete its visuals, the Snyder Cut certainly got people talking.   

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Consequently, one might be left to wonder if Warner—perhaps after a few more years passes in the rear-view mirror—eventually returns to the mentality that, having already invested an insane amount of money in the SnyderVerse films, that there might be something salvageable. After all, Snyder recently revealed his plan for the never-realized proper Man of Steel sequel to bring city-bottling cyborg Brainiac to the big screen for the first time. Considering how Warner’s plans for its DC live-action films and television shows (e.g. HBO Max’s Green Lantern) are broad but rudderless—especially on what’s considered canon—there remains an ever so slight chance that someone at Warner might just revisit the SnyderVerse. For now, though, such a notion is dead on arrival.

The post Will an “Aggressively Anti-Snyder” Warner Stop the SnyderVerse? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3o8LwOT

[soysaucevictim]

First week of my new regimen, starting with the Fireheart Program (and then some of the DAREBEE Fitstivities; a bit late posting all this, too)!

-

Nov. 28

I woke up after 11AM.

After some of the usual and chatting, did today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 squat hold side bends with EC. Just about manageable. Does take minding the hamstrings a bit - but that wasn’t an issue.

Last, Day 1 of the Fireheart Program. I was really excited to start this from the recent batch of releases - because it’s a COMBAT exercise program. That’s my jam, man. I went for Level 3 and no rest, today. TEN probably made me inclined to do it in one superset - but remains to be seen if I can sustain that for the whole program.

I also mixed up how I structured some exercises on a whim: sometimes alternating for each rep, sometimes 50/50, sometimes that + balancing variations. (And as a minor aside, this program’s name/theme made me think of Roman Sanders and how he’d be down for this.) :,D

(I’m keeping the docket open for DAREBEE’s Fitstivities - Fit Christmas, Advent Calendar, Christmas Tree, and maybe even the Snowfight.)

Made dinner (ramen). Among the usual, did some chatting and watched a bit of a funny miniseries with friend.

Got to bed later than yesterday.

-

Nov. 29

I woke up around 2PM today.

After some troubleshooting, chatting, and doing some dishes - I did today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 40 balance back kicks with EC (20/20). A fun exercise. I almost lost my center about 10 or so reps in - but I’m happy my gains in coordination made it possible to reorient without dropping and needing to restart (for EC). Kicks are fun, man.

Last, Day 2 of the FhP. Today focused on upperbody stuff. Managed Level 3 with no rest again. I decided to squeeze in a few extra push-ups here and there just to get down a bit better form.

Watched the second Back to The Future movie with friend, amongst a lot of the usual. Did a bit of writing too.

Got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

Nov. 30

I think I was woken up around 10:30AM.

Hopped in the showered, realizing I had another dental appointment I needed to get to today. Didn’t have time to get in my laundry beforehand - but bro decided to take mine out for me.

Dozed off in the lobby a little, while I waited. Appointment went well enough, a bit painful and uncomfortable. But I’m happy I was able to get through it alright. Last time I’m going to need to get fillings done for the time being - so I’m happy that’s out of my hair. Walked to a nearby Starbucks to get a coffee to drink while I called in and waited on my ride home afterwards.

Got home and chatted a bit, before exercising.

First, today’s DD. 40 raised leg circles with EC (supine). This was just about manageable, despite how tired I was.

Last, Day 3 of the FhP. Ab Day. Level 3, 1′ rest. I love sit-up/sitting punches a lot! I’m still very pleased that my abs are in good enough condition at this point to manage that load of sit-ups without assist/breaks.That being said, started to really feel things in the last 2 sets. Enjoyable and fatiguing.

Did some of the usual before getting a hold of my laundry to put that away.

Probably a testament to just how exhausted I was, but I finally managed to get to bed in the green zone, tonight. (That target being 1AM or earlier.)

-

Dec. 1

I woke up after noon.

Spent some time preparing notes for my phone psych appt today. That went well enough.

After some time chatting and browsing stuff, I decided to rewatch POF while doing my exercises tonight.

First, today’s DD. 2′ jumping Ts with EC. I counted 130 reps by the end, listening to Rhythm Redux was a great pace-setter. Hit a state of bliss near the end, reminds me why I love jacks so much! =w=

Second, Day 1 of the ‘20 Advent Calendar Challenge. 3x1 up/down planks, I opted not to rest, given how easy the load was. Might not get away with doing things in one superset the whole way through it - but we’ll see!

Third, Day 4 of the FhP. Level 3, 30″-1′ rest in between sets (though it trended closer to 30″.) This was pretty fun. Honestly the only brutal part of the sequence were the squat + side kick combos. Kinda felt like the leg-equivalent to a push-up+punching combo (sans hidden burpee). Whew, mission accomplished, though.

Last,  Day 1 of ‘20 Fit Christmas Program. Cardio Day. Level 3, no rest. Low impact and kind of a breezy “cooldown“ routine to get though. Remains to be seen if I’ll be able to get away with no rest the whole way through, definitely want to shoot for Level 2 minimums (largely dependent on how exhaust Fireheart’s gonna leave me).

Spent rest of night on the usual stuff.

Got to bed obscenely late again.

-

Dec. 2

I woke up after 9AM today.

Went out for some coffee and accompanying bro to get his car serviced. Then we hung out at Grandma’s place while that was happening. I also walked over to the facility for group, when it came time for that.

Group went alright, did a little bit of writing a bit before and into it. Once I got back to Grandma’s, after a stop at a convenience store, bro’s car was ready. We picked up some food on the way back home.

One of the first things I did when I got home and situated, I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 reverse plank kicks with EC (20/20). This was pretty manageable.

Second, Day 2 of the ‘20ACC. 3x2 burpees - I managed it in one superset. This was pretty manageable. And it’s making me wonder about trying to go for that 50 burpees in one go achievement - eh, some other time. :P

Third, Day 5 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Did some plank jumps in/out for transitions and did all the punches/strikes 10/10 style. Push-ups were a bit messy, and plank hold counts probs weren’t consistently slow. Ah well. My energy levels were a bit spent going into this.

Last, Day 2 of ‘20FCP. Strength Day. Level 3, no rest. Did contemplate on resting even 30″ or less - but I decided I could one go this today.

Had to overhear another family blow-up. And felt generally overwhelmed. Chatting and usual distractions helped eventually.

Got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

Dec. 3

I woke up around 2PM, today. Which didn’t help me in feeling less harried.

I did some dishes and made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Bulgolgi meatballs. I liked it well enough. 

After some chatting about technical stuff (which immediately got pretty stressful) and doing dishes, I did my exercise.

I got in my workout way too late today. but oh well.

First, today’s DD. 40 squat step-ups with EC (20/20). My water table and energy levels probably weren’t terribly happy about it - but I managed to get through it alright.

Second, Day 3 of the ‘20ACC. 3x3 plank walk-outs, one superset. Happy that my stomach didn’t really complain here, otherwise very manageable work.

Third, Day 6 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Leg raises were breezy, side planks were pretty intense. Was a bit concerned about doing more floor work with a slightly full stomach, but it wasn’t a big deal.

Last, Day 3 of ‘20FCP. 100 jumping jacks, done in one go. I enjoyed myself here - still noting how far I’ve come when it comes to stamina to be able to do it without too much problem.

I did a bit of writing and got to bed earlier than yesterday.

-

Dec. 4

I woke up after 1PM.

Got some Iced coffee, deposited some cash, and picked up some Subway.

Got home, chatted and whatnot before today’ exercises.

First, today’s DD. 40 knee-in & twists with EC. Fatiguing in the thighs but manageable.

Second, Day 4 of the ‘20ACC. 3x4 V-Ups, no rest. Did contemplate on resting. But 12 I can manage well enough. Enjoyable exercise.

Last, Day 4 of ‘20FCP. Tendon strength Day, no levels, no rest. Just about manageable little sequence to get done!

I spent most of my night chatting and browsing TV Tropes.

Got to bed later than yesterday.

[a-tale-as-old-as-taiyang]

RWBY Soundtrack rankings

I threatened to do this earlier so here it is, my ranking of the RWBY soundtracks up to this point, feel like I’ve listened to vol 7 enough to get a fair ranking by now.  This is only taking into consideration the vocal songs so no score helping an albums score, and the acoustic and remixes are definitely factored in.

1) Volume 6 - The tracks are solid all the way through but having the 1 2 punch of Nevermore and Indomitable at the top end goes a long way here, add in the delightful bluegrass Armed and Ready and 2 solid remixes, with the path to isolation Heavenview remix just really reworking the song in an interesting way and this has everything covered.  It’s not a miracle this is rising to the top.

2) Volume 4 - The high points on this album may not be up there with some other volumes but the quality is so consistent that it more than makes up for that.  Doesn’t hurt to have one of my favorite acoustic tracks with the orchestral Boop and my favorite remix with Sacrifice (Harry Lodes Remix).  Definitely finds it’s home at this spot.

3) Volume 1 - This is what started it and it’s just high quality, the only thing bringing it down is that I’m not a fan of remixes of songs already on the album.  Obviously they didn’t have any previous songs to work with so it makes sense but it does add some weird I just heard this song in a slightly different form.  They’re good songs, I don’t skip them it just bring things ever so slightly down for me.  Album is as good as gold to land here.

4) Volume 2 - This has my favorite intro in Time to Say Goodbye and my second favorite closer in Sacrifice.  While I like a lot of the more pop oriented songs they aren’t my jam as much so it goes down a little.  Again getting a repeat acoustic and remix (of the same song where I think the original is already perfect) isn’t great but the magical girl remix of This will be the Day is amazing and probably my second favorite remix track.  Not the highest spot but it finds it’s time to shine.

5) Volume 5 - This is kind of volume 4 redux, a solid album through and through for the original songs that unfortunately gets let down by it’s bonus tracks.  while I like the Gold acoustic more than the original it’s still just OK and the 2 remixes are pretty uninspired takes.  Just a good album that makes me smile and that’s all that matters.

6) Volume 7 - If you saw my post about this album I made a note of it’s weird pop side that represents most of the songs from the early volume. They aren’t bad songs but they aren’t as much my cup of tea so.  Also as much as I like Hero, war and Fear they never quite reach up there with the best of other albums.  The acoustic and remix for this one are fine solid songs, kind of middle of the pack in both catagories.  Didn’t have to wait until the end to get to this one and that’s reason to celebrate.

7) Volume 3 - I feel bad putting the album with When it Falls, Divide and Cold at the bottom but the rest of the originals on this volume rate as just fine for me.  I don’t hate I’m the One but it’s probably my least favorite RWBY track, I Mirror Mirror 2 to be the least interest of the Weiss mirror songs.  Finally the acoustic and remix songs are both fine but not top tier either.  This album’s spot might divide some people but I’m the one making this list so there.

In summation I still love all of the album but that is how I would rank them.  Agree, disagree, want to throw me off a cliff for these opinions, soundtrack off in the comments to let me know.

[primatechnosynthpop]

Ok so the idea is in my mind now thanks to what my classmates were posting about on the myinfo discussion boards earlier, and I know that nobody here cares about this, but I need to gather my thoughts here. So here's an outline for what I think would happen in a Da Vinci Code/ Black Echo crossover

It starts with Langdon being involved in a high-profile documentary about the grail and the priory that's being filmed in Hollywood. Then a bunch of people involved in the documentary start being murdered, and Bosch is assigned to the case

They meet at the crime scene for one of the murders; Langdon is shaken up because the people working on the documentary with him were people he'd worked with before and gotten along with, and he's trying not to show how shaken he is and play himself off as cool, but Bosch sees right through him and recognizes his distraught emotional state. He's sympathetic, but he does have a job to do here... it's time to ask this guy some questions

HB: Professor Langdon, right? I'm officer Bosch. I have a few questions for you.

RL: Bosch... that's an interesting name

HB: Like the painter, yes. You wouldn't be the first to point it out, believe me.

RL: I've done many lectures on the religious symbolism in that man's paintings. Tell me, officer, how familiar with his work are you?

HB: Not very. Now, Mr. Langdon--

RL: You can call me Robert if you want.

HB: ...Mr. Langdon, what kind of relationship did you have with the victim?

...You get the picture; they don't get along very well at first. Bosch thinks Langdon is too self-obsessed and show-offy, while Langdon thinks Bosch is too grim and doesn't approve of his smoking habit

But since Bosch is a devoted and hardworking detective, he puts aside his mild annoyance with Langdon and does his best to solve the case. Problem is, Langdon clearly knows something about the case that he's refusing to tell anyone. *sonic voice* That's no good!

Bosch confronts Langdon about this in private, very angry... maybe cue a wall slam except that Bosch is shorter than Langdon so it does maybe look just a little bit silly. But more importantly a little bit homoerotic in an angry and repressed kinda way

After a bit of arguing and a very thorough check of the room they're in to make sure nobody is watching or listening in, Langdon confides to Bosch about the Grail and his experiences with it

Bosch is skeptical, but he's no stranger to tangled webs of dark secrets, so his reaction to all this is less "wow!!" and more "shit. Really? Fuck. Okay... huh. I need a drink." So Langdon pours him a drink, they agree to team up to collaborate on solving the case, and this is bonding moment #1 in which their barriers start to crack just a little bit

But of course Bosch, a decent guy at heart who cares about people's lives, isn't gonna let some random symbologist get too wrapped up in what's clearly a dangerous case. So after he and Langdon figure out together where the killer might be hiding out, Bosch goes to the location alone--armed and ready, but alone nonetheless

It goes bad!

Meanwhile, Langdon figures out by talking to some of the other cops where Bosch has taken off to. He gets there just in time to see the cloud of dust as the killer gets away, leaving a badly injured Bosch lying on the ground. Probably in some dark alleyway or dingy apartment or something idk. Very dark and very dramatic

Shifting in and out of consciousness in the backseat as Langdon drives him to a hospital, Bosch starts having a PTSD flashback nightmare. There's nothing Langdon can really do to help him out there, and he feels bad about it

Flash forward a couple days. We get bonding moment #2 as Langdon scolds a recovering Bosch for being so reckless

RL: I mean, you could have been killed!

HB: That's part of my job. Always has been.

RL: But still--

HB: I'm not like you, remember? You may have gotten involved in some dangerous situations before, but at the end of the day, you're still a civilian. It's my job to protect you.

RL: How would you dying help us get to the bottom of this case? If you want to help me, then stay alive and work with me.

HB: Fine. So, did you just come here to yell at me?

RL: Actually, that's not the only reason. I figured something out about the case... something that I think can help us

(This probably wouldn't be the exact dialogue but you get the gist)

Also Langdon sees Bosch's tattoo and if he asks about it then Bosch definitely does not answer. But when he gets home Langdon researches rat imagery and symbolism and eventually figures out, if not the connection to the war, at least that this dude has probably been through some tough times

They also each individually make the realization that Bosch having a rat tattoo + Langdon having a mickey mouse wristwatch is kind of an interesting coincidence... but when Langdon brings it up Bosch gets kinda snappy with him because, believe me, it's really not even remotely close to the same thing

So they get back to work on the case, but as soon as Bosch is back on his feet he retreats back into his shell, which disheartens Langdon somewhat for reasons that he can't pinpoint. (Hint: it's that Langdon was beginning to recognize the soft heart buried beneath Bosch's rough exterior, and guess that he must have had a pretty rough life, and on some subconscious level he was beginning to drift toward the "I can fix him!" mentality)

Still, they've got a job to do. They spend a few days, maybe a week tracking down the killer, during which we get a couple more small bonding moments during which Bosch demonstrates his kind and caring side, and Langdon starts spending maybe a little longer than necessary staring at him when he's not looking. Bosch wonders when he stopped finding Langdon's tendency for sharing information annoying and started to like the sound of his voice. But neither of them are at a stage where they're gonna be like "so basically I have ptsd and claustrophobia because of my traumatic backstory" or anything

At some point, though (maybe when he's slightly drunk) Bosch makes a gruff remark in passing about having been betrayed before, and Langdon replies that he's been betrayed too, by a close friend. They kind of raise their eyebrows at each other, an unspoken realization that they're connected by more bonds than expected, and they clink their glasses together

So the killer's hideout involves crawling through a small enclosed space and they both know this in advance and the plan they come up with is "one of us goes in while the other waits outside and stands guard" (the way the killer's lair is set up would make this a good plan. I'm not gonna come up with all the details right now, because if I could do that, then I'd become a mystery novelist) but they haven't laid out who'll be going in the small enclosed space and they're both secretly counting on the other doing it

Then they get there and it's like. Hmm. Oops! Neither of them want to go in because they both have the same psychological issues

An argument ensues, but they're less trying to convince each other to go in the small enclosed space and more frustrated at the other for keeping secrets. Eventually Langdon agrees to be the one to go in because by now he's pieced together that Bosch is a vet and that his trauma is therefore probably a lot "worse" (not that those things are really quantifiable)

Bosch is super grateful but also feels terrible, like it's his fault for being too weak, and promises Langdon to make it up for him later--"So be sure to stay alive for me, okay, Robert?"

RL: Wait, did you just call me by my first name? I think that's the first time I've heard you say it.

HB: Hey, what can I say? You've grown on me.

RL: Heh. You... you've grown on me, too, Harry.

HB: Robert..... good luck in there.

They sort of smile and nod at each other, solemn and melancholy (and repressed). And then Langdon goes in and does the thing but of course it's some kind of a trap and he gets stuck in the small enclosed space and Bosch hears him getting attacked in there and hey, Bosch can't magically overcome his severe war trauma but in that moment his brain just kinda turns off and he's able to power through it long enough to go in and get Langdon out safely

They're both very shaken from all this but now they've got the killer out in the open so it's time for the final showdown. Working together, they elaborately lure the killer into confessing to the murders of the people working on the Grail documentary... those people knew too much, they couldn't be allowed to keep living. Naturally, Bosch is wearing a wire that's picking all this up and recording it

But then the killer finishes with "and you, the symbologist who knows the true location of the Grail... you can't be allowed to live either!" and before either of them can react he shoots Langdon! This makes Bosch extremely angry and he immediately shoots the killer like five consecutive times in the chest

Turns out Langdon's alive, the bullet just missed his heart or lungs or whatever, and he's lying on the ground in shock from getting shot staring up at Bosch and is like "...you killed him...?"

HB: Oh, right, I almost forgot... you've never killed someone before, have you?

RL: No, although I've been acquainted with more murders than I would like...

HB: Well, here's one more murderer you're acquainted with, then. Come on, let's go

Hospital time redux ft. congratulating each other on solving the case and a whole lot going unsaid between them. They both agree that they ended up making a decent team in the end...

In a quiet moment when he thinks Langdon is asleep, Bosch starts reminiscing out loud about his childhood, his time in the war, all the blood he's seen spilled and spilled himself both as a veteran and a detective. Of course Langdon was actually awake to hear all that, and after a long moment of silence he starts talking quietly about falling down a well as a child, as well as some of the scarier moments in his past adventures and how those have messed him up a little

RL: Of course, what I've been through is nothing compared to you... I mean, you, you're amazing. I can't believe I ever judged you for having a cold exterior.

HB: I wouldn't call myself amazing. More like, a poor bastard doing his best to keep his head afloat.

RL: No, no, that's... that's why you're amazing. The fact that you are where you are now.

HB: What, in a hospital at the bedside of a symbology professor who's lucky to be alive after solving an elaborate murder case?

RL: Hey, it's not my first rodeo.

HB: Mine neither. (Heh...) maybe we should start a club.

At the end they say goodbye to each other and they like shake hands or something but they're still repressed so they just go their separate ways and don't see each other again

But MAYBE a few months or years down the line Bosch eventually leaves the police force (either because he wisens up and realizes that acab, or because he acts up too much and gets fired) and can no longer afford to live in LA so he moves to a different part of the country and by pure coincidence it ends up being where Langdon lives. And he finds out when he sees an ad for one of Langdon's lectures, and he attends and Langdon spots him in the crowd and he sort of visibly stiffens and then softens. You can figure out where things go from there

(I actually don't know where exactly things would go from there but maybe, someday, eventually they kiss?)

[rwby-redux]

Preface

RWBY is the breakthrough anime web series created by the late Monty Oum of Rooster Teeth. Originally teased on November 5th, 2012, and officially debuted July 18th, 2013, the series follows the journeys of four young women enrolled in an academy that trains monster-slaying warriors known as Huntsmen. Set in the fictional world of Remnant, the story initially focuses on the surface-level plot of fighting against humanity’s ancient adversary, the ever-present Creatures of Grimm; over time, it becomes apparent that things aren’t what they seem, as the cast slowly begins to connect a string of heists committed by a criminal syndicate with the violent acts of a terrorist cell. The series is aired weekly on Rooster Teeth’s website, with its main arcs spanning 12 – 16 episodes per volume. In the years following the show’s initial release, RWBY has spawned numerous merchandise and related media, including two spin-off shows, multiple side-stories published as mangas, two standalone books, three mobile games, a behind-the-scenes artbook, and OSTs for every volume to date.

As of Volume 7 there are 98 episodes in total with a collective runtime of 18:52:00, or approximately 1,132 minutes, with more episodes and side content underway.

At best, they’re visually interesting; at worst, they’re disappointing.

Let me take a second to backtrack before the lynch mob starts to sharpen its pitchforks. The series deserves much of the praise that it’s gotten. RWBY was the first American-produced anime to be released in Japan (and if you’re a fan of anime, you know how insane those words sound). The 3D models and animation from Volume 4 onward are breathtakingly stunning, and even before the show made the leap from Poser to Maya, the fight sequences managed to be equally creative and entertaining. The show was nominated for and received multiple Streamy Awards, and was awarded Best Animated Series by the International Academy of Web Television. The Volume 1 soundtrack reached number one on iTunes, beating out the soundtrack for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Such is RWBY’s (and Rooster Teeth’s) reputation that it managed to attract the attention of, and later bring on, industry veterans and vocal legends such as Jen Taylor, Josh Grelle, and Aaron Dismuke.

That’s to say nothing of the fandom this franchise has amassed, of kids, teenagers, and young adults alike. RWBY has generated dozens of forums dedicated to fanfiction, fanart, and roleplaying. Thousands of people the world over have bonded over this show, fans from all walks of life. They’re passionate about this series. The fact that I’m writing this post is a testimony of that. If I didn’t care about RWBY, I wouldn’t be sitting on my couch at 3 AM, hunched over my laptop in my pajamas.

If RWBY is so good (or occasionally threatens to become good), you might be wondering, why, then, does this blog exist?

Well, because…when you stop and look at it critically, it actually kind of sucks.

Despite initially being written by a three-man team, the series is full of inconsistencies and an underdeveloped cast. The characters, especially from Volumes 1 — 3, are full of one-dimensional stereotypes whose contributions to the story amount to a three-word summary: “The School Bully,” “The Wacky Professors,” “The Racist Cop,” “The Cutthroat Bitch,” “The Anime Waifu,” “The Audience Surrogate,” “Discount Elle Woods,” and so on. Fundamental elements of the story, like Aura, Semblance, and Dust, are either poorly-explained or not explained at all, and the limitations of those core concepts can change at a moment’s notice to suit the needs of the plot. The primary antagonist of the first three volumes is universally hated by the fandom for having no discernible motivations beyond being “ambitious and power-hungry,” and having a personality that consists exclusively of irritating smug. The show-writers, despite repeatedly promising queer representation, have failed to make even one of their ten central protagonists queer. This isn’t touching upon the fact that the first openly-gay character on the show was an antagonist, or that the next two were side-characters who were relevant to the plot for all of seven episodes, before vanishing from the story entirely. The two leads that are currently being hyped as our first queer main-cast members have only been repeatedly teased, with said characters never once uttering the words, “I’m bi,” “I date women,” “I’m not straight”—nothing but narrative subtext and playful winks from the VAs whenever a fan asks if they’re queer. Subplots end up having no pay-off or get entirely forgotten mid-volume. The story is so protagonist-biased that the heroes are frequently able to get away with being hypocritical, or committing criminal acts because “it was the right thing to do,” with their POV framed as an infallible “fuck you, got mine” verbal gut-punch to the audience (while other characters in the show, who often make the exact same calls as the heroes, are ridiculed by the show and the fandom). Whenever the story isn’t spray-painting stolen cars and selling them to their original owners, it manages to clumsily handle allegories for real-world issues such as systemic racism, mental illness, abuse dynamics/victim survivorship, and gray morality. The worldbuilding is absent from the main show and has to be supplemented through RWBY’s spin-off series World of Remnant. The story’s setting feels flat and lifeless at times because the “cultures” of this world are never established.

The list goes on and on.

So if this show has so many flaws, why are we still having this conversation?

Because I’m captivated by the untapped potential of this world. When you brush away all of the detritus, you can see the wealth of raw material buried beneath. This is a world where the gods have forsaken their creations, with one having even deliberately created the monsters that hunt humanity. The two characters who are central to the history of this world are tragic figures, one cursed with immortality as a punishment for demanding that the gods revise the first draft, and do away with needless death; and the other, cursed to ceaselessly reincarnate into the minds and bodies of like-minded souls, waging a war of attrition against a person warped beyond recognition by the capricious spite of the gods. This is a world of forgotten magic, of shifting allegiances, of characters embarking on personal journeys and unearthing deadly secrets. It’s a story of people from all walks of life learning to cooperate and work together, forging friendships and alliances in order to face the challenges that lie ahead.

It could easily have the bones of an epic fantasy series as long as it remembers to drink its milk.

RWBY’s issues aren’t insurmountable. Most of them are the byproduct of the series’ blind adherence to “rule of cool,” the motto that practically codified the beginning of the show. From Volume 4 onward, the series took a radical shift in tone that tried to be “more mature,” and only succeeded in making the earlier episodes absurd in hindsight. Why, in Volume 6, are the characters concerned about civilian endangerment, when in Volume 2 they happily pursued a giant mech in a highway car-chase scene that would’ve caused untold collateral damage and civilian death? This change in storytelling created a thematic disparity that reoccurs time and time again, retroactively emphasizing just how inconsistent the worldbuilding and storytelling are.

It tried to be Avatar: The Last Airbender, and what we’re left with instead is Game of Thrones Season 8.

Now, I’m not using this blog as a platform to damn Monty Oum (or claim to be a better creator than him). But it’s important to address the flaws in his story, and to acknowledge that his passing doesn’t make RWBY somehow sacrosanct or immune to constructive criticism. RWBY has flaws, ranging from nitpicky to potentially capable of causing real-world harm (in the case of the aforementioned queerbaiting and racism analogies). I’m a firm believer that art doesn’t exist in a vacuum; art is informed by our beliefs just as much as art informs our beliefs. We can still respect and admire the potential RWBY has to offer, while being mindful of where it needs to improve.

That’s where this blog comes in.

At the end of the day, the RWBY Redux exists as a thought experiment. I’m writing it chiefly to entertain worldbuilding ideas and headcanons I’ve spent years musing on. I’m not asking readers to agree with any of my numerous stances, nor am I going to shy away from other fans’ criticism as I hammer this project out. With a little TLC, perhaps I’ll manage to create something that manages to be more complex than its source material. And if you choose to follow along with my endeavors, hopefully you’ll find this project equal parts engaging and entertaining.

Wish me luck.

[filthybonnet]

So I want to thank everyone for all the lovely birthday wishes and all the lovely phandom valentines that were out and about a few days ago! I totally felt the love. I also want to do a redux of my canceled birthday stream since I had a few people ask if I could still show it again sometime.

I decided since I have a couple days off this week and people are back from their vacations to have two separate stream days and do this as post b-day and v-day streams. I went with my fav and with popular demand. I’ve shown one earlier this month and the other twice already but we love them! Come watch them again or if you missed them come see it for the first time and fall in love.

Rooms open about 20-15 minutes before the stream and I usually have some sort of stand up comedy playing to fill the time. Look for some kind of post here about it.  I stream using Kast: https://www.kastapp.co/

All are welcome to my streams! :D Tell your friends! I will also PM you a reminder with the room link if you let me know ahead of time if you want one.

[imaginefe]

so i said earlier that i would make a more official post about this and im sorry if some of this is incoherent, i am quite beat from studying;;; 

as you may (or may not!) know... ive been fairly inactive lately due to finals season. my final final is tomorrow, but i wont be able to relax for very long bc tomorrow night i have to be on a plane to visit my gma!

if anyone remembers earlier in the year when i went out of country, we had the scent event thing as a little fun treat + something to keep me occupied on the plane.

i kind of wanna do something like that again but im not 100% set on what i wanna do this time.

last time i did a... rerun(?) of the scent event, i noticed some people still didnt get the chance to send in their asks 

so i was wondering if anyone would want to do ANOTHER scent event thing where you could either send in a normal scent for people who didnt get to send one in the first two times, but also, for people whove already gotten an ask answered for them before, a reverse scent event where you like... send me a character and i give you a couple smells i associate with them??

so i basically either wanna do a scent event redux or like... rb a buncha writing prompts? or maybe try to open up nsfw or fluff alphabet again? 

anyways this got real long but i wanna know yalls thoughts... send me an emote for which thing youd want to see me do? 

:) for scent event redux, :o for writing prompts, and :9 for nsfw/fluff alphabet 

[wicked-messenger-tarot]

For 2020 I will be doing a Weekly Tarot-related Blogpost:  The Oracle of the Radiant Sun Redux

I haven’t blogged here regularly for a few years due to, you know, life and shit.  But I have a project and instead of just keeping it to myself I’ve decided to share it here.  It was going to be personal (this is all dealing with copyrighted materials so this was never a commercially viable enterprise, so what else is new in my life lol) mainly because it just didn’t occur to me anyone else might get any use from it.  However I realized this project might apply more broadly to various decks of cards and therefore act as a kind of template for other people who have found a deck they love but just can’t use it.

Earlier this year I received a deck of cards which I actually wanted for YEARS, but it was out of print and I couldn’t find one for a decent price.  It went into a second edition and someone got it for me, which is awesome, and I immediately jumped into it, but there was an unexpected problem, and if you read this blog you might have read an exchange between me and a wonderful astrologer on tumblr, @astrologylunarfish, as I attempted to understand what exactly I was having trouble with.  First, let’s talk about the deck.

The Oracle of the Radiant Sun is, first of all, gorgeous.  I’ll be posting images here so you can see for yourself (and of course you can hit up the Googlechrist too, and there are a few YouTube videos featuring this deck) but what drew me to this deck years ago has made me return to it over and over again trying to fix the problem with it, and that is and always will be the stellar artwork by Caroline Smith.  I believe when it comes to Tarot and all oracle decks, you absolutely must be inherently drawn to the artwork, you have to feel it in your soul.  It has to speak to you in some fundamental spiritual sense, and it is through images that oracles of these kinds operate so it is crucial not to ignore your gut feelings about them.

So what happens when an artist pairs up with someone who

how to put this nicely, because I’m talking about John Astrop, Caroline Smith’s recently deceased husband

completely fucks up the entire project with how they wrote the book, the definitions of the cards themselves?

I’ve been reading cards for almost thirty years, and I absolutely have decks that are either not that great in terms of internal artistic cohesion, or that have really bad accompanying texts.  But with a Tarot deck, since I have been reading Tarot for so long, I can totally ignore the book, and in a few cases I have literally never read the book.

This isn’t true for a unique oracle deck.  Each one is a system unto itself and so the book is absolutely crucial if you want to use the deck as the author intended, and also if you happen to be new to reading cards, or tend to approach things the way I do, which is more intellectually than instinctively.  In fact I instinctively approach everything intellectually so the book portion of an oracle deck is important to me.  I know I’m far from alone in this, which is why I decided to post this in the first place.

Also it’s so great to learn something entirely new.  A book is someone else sharing a new idea with you, and then you take that new information, make it your own, and run with it.  So what happens when

how to put this nicely, again, because we are talking about an actual person here who put a lot of work into this in a joint project with his wife, who is still alive, and presumably stood behind his part of their work

a book totally sucks and the ideas are just awful?  What do you do with that mess?

I know for a fact not everyone agrees that this book is a mess, and there will be some who will probably be offended at the idea if they, for some goddess alone knows reason, think this book is a work of staggering genius.  If you are that person, and reading this, first of all don’t @ me, but second of all you are wrong.  The book is bad, and the underlying concept of the thing is terrible, and for the next fifty-two (52) weeks I will be telling you why.

I will show you how to rewrite and remake a deck of cards into something you can use.  If you like an intellectual approach this is for you, and if you just need some ideas for how to undo an idea that has been planted in your head about ANY card, or ANY deck of cards, this is for you.  If you have this deck and hate the book as much as I do, or just can’t make it work for you, this is for you.  If you have this deck and love the book, hey, this is for you too.  Alternatives are good.  

So yeah, that’s the deal, that’s what I’ll be doing here this year.  I might add a few extra posts on other subjects and maybe reblog silly things, but that is the plan.   Thanks for reading.

[narashikari]

Kari’s Impressions of Kamen Rider, Redux

Now that I’m familiar with most of Heisei Phase 2, I feel obligated to revise my earlier impressions of them when I first stumbled into the fandom

Double: I will forever curse this goddamned show to hell for being so good that every other toku series I watch after it will be compared against it... Shoutaro has officially beaten (by a very, very slim margin) Sento as my favorite protagonist, Shoutaro and Philip’s relationship is one of the best written in toku history, and this series is what I’d recommend a newcomer to watch because of its simple, but overall well-executed plot.

Also, I blame this show for my crush on Renn Kiriyama. He’s so handsome goooooosh... and his chemistry with Masaki Suda was off the charts. Why isn’t he as famous as Masaki is? Beats me.

Also... If you’re one of those people who hated Philip being brought back... SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR COW!

OOO: As expected from a series written by Kobayashi it’s really good- my favorite Sentai series, GoBusters and Shinkenger, were also written by her, so I knew going in it was gonna be the shit.

On the other hand I wish she explored more of the implications of the various mindfucks she gave the characters. Seriously, all of them should probably check into a mental hospital for all their issues.

Also, BRING BACK ANKH YA COWARDS

Fourze: There’s a reason the tag ‘kisaragi gentaro is incorruptible pure pureness’ gets a lot of mileage and it’s because this show made me smile a lot. I just love this space boi so much...

And god help me I will die for every single member of the KRC. Every. Single. One. Even Ohsugi, who somehow made more appearances post-Fourze than Gentaro himself

I’m still bitter Nadeshiko wasn’t part of the main cast though. We deserve adorable badass female Riders who don’t die at the end!

Wizard: Honestly I don’t have a lot of things to say about this series. Probably the best thing about it is Haruto and Koyomi’s relationship because it’s so sweet and pure... but then they fridged her sooooooo

However, this series will forever be remembered by me as the one that started the signature food trend for Kamen Rider. Kousuke might as well be a living ad for Kewpie mayonnaise

Gaim: Seriously, whoever thought getting Gen Urobuchi to write a Kamen Rider series is a good idea is probably crazy. Gaim is seriously fucked up, to the point I won’t recommend it to someone below 13. And honestly I can’t stomach a lot of the stuff that happened in series

On the other hand, that they made fruits badass was freaking awesome on their part. And also having the first confirmed canonically gay Kamen Rider!

Drive: I like this series for a lot of reasons I liked Double... because they were both head-written by Riku Sanjo, who also wrote for another of my favorite Sentai series, Kyouryuger. I’m a sucker for police procedurals, having grown up on CSI and NCIS, so this was perfect for me

The Roidmudes are probably my favorite villains, especially Brain because he’s funny (which was why I was so happy Kamen Rider Brain was legit!) But then there villainous role was taken by Banno, who I seriously wanted to murder, resurrect and then murder again for eternity over what he did to Gou and Kiriko

Speaking of Gou... Toei please stop the bicon from suffering and just bring back his dream boy already

Ghost: I seriously have no idea what people dislike about the series. Takeru is an adorkable sweetheart, and he doesn’t deserve all the hate he gets... I get that him dying over and over is a bit repetitive, but that’s why he’s Kamen Rider Ghost and not Kamen Rider Alive!

Also, like in Gaim where they took something mundane and made it awesome, I still can’t believe they managed to pull off the historical figures as parka jackets thing. And it really gave Ghost a unique style compared to, say, Double where they deliberately invoked the OG Rider in his base form

Speaking of OG... if Takeshi Hongo catches wind of what people say about Takeru, he’ll probably go fuck them up for bullying his ‘grandson’. Just saying.

Ex-Aid: This season is freaking wild. Who would’ve thought that a medical drama Kamen Rider series whose motif is video games would work as well as it did? It worked so well that the crossover movie’s villain was fucking Pac-Man (Seriously, whoever realized that “Wait... Ghosts... Video games... we work with Bandai who now owns Namco... PAC-MAN!!!” deserves a raise.)

However... why did series torture its protagonist so much? Poor Emu... I wonder what kind of sadist the writer is that the titular Rider was implied, then confirmed, to have attempted suicide as a child... and have it be the least fucked up thing that happened to him in the series! Poor sweet doctor gamer...

Build: This series. Oh my god, this series.

I’m sort of glad I started with this series because it allowed me to handle all the fuckery that the other series had. Because boy oh boy, was this series fucked up. Fantastic, awesome, but fucked up. I mean, how fucked up is it that the series starts with Japan split in three by an apocalyptic event and it actually gets worse and worse?

On the other hand, I can’t say anything wrong about the series. Partly because I will always be biased for my first Kamen Rider series, but also because it was just. That. Good. The writing, the characters, the relationships, the cinematography, the suits... and the beautiful cast, including the main man himself, Atsuhiro ‘Acchan’ Inukai who is so fucking pretty and dorky that even straight guys are a little gay for him (which is a comment I really got on one of my fics).

Also... RyuSen. Let’s just say there’s a reason that they were the couple that got me writing gay romance... and smut... for the first time ever.

[thismoviefucks]

So I just finished watching the extended version of The Hateful Eight (orig. cut 2015/ext. cut 2019, dir. Quentin Tarantino) that's on Netflix. I haven't seen the original cut in some time, but I remember loving it. I really dig the slow-burn, mostly pretty quiet (until the end of the second act or so, at least) atmosphere of the picture, and the sparse but in my eyes perfectly cast dramatis personae really sold me on it.

So, right off the bat, pretty much everything I love about the original cut is magnified a bit in this extended cut.

First things first -- this is a long movie. This is a fucking time investment. 210 minutes (3 and a half hours), to be precise. That's not an easy ask of a filmmaker. I mean, the original was already a solid 3-ish hours, which is the upper bound of most casual filmgoers' cinematic attention span already. And then he goes and adds an extra 42 minutes of footage. But Netflix, being enterprising as they are, decided to cut into four 40-50 minute chapters to solve that problem, with a recap and a title sequence at the front and the full credits at the back.

This is the biggest of my grumbles with this movie, and to be honest I'm sure Quentin is probably not particularly stoked about it either: The way this is presented cheapens the experience by making it feel like it's The Stand or something. I'm admittedly something of an elitist dickface when it comes to the state of film as a medium. I think the experience of watching a movie should feel like you're, well, watching a movie. Quartering a finished movie into chunks with a fucking recap makes it feel instead, if only for a minute, that I'm watching some post-Game of Thrones event-show BS. That's just the way I feel about the presentation. I don't think it kills the movie by any means, just a gripe I have with what was undoubtedly a decision by Netflix (those known good idea havers, grumble grumble) that slightly cheapens the experience of this very grandiose, movie-ass movie.

Apart from that, though, it's all good news. Again, I haven't seen the original in a minute, but I didn't even really notice the extra footage (except a slightly overlong travel montage in the first chapter, and even with that dragging slightly it didn't feel like it didn't belong or anything). Apocalypse Now Redux this is not -- the footage that's here just adds to the atmosphere that was already there. This movie feels like a stage play at times, a very Chekhovian character study, but with strong underpinnings to Tarantino's well-established-by-now style. All the usual thumbprints are here: graphic violence, spaghetti Western influences, white dudes saying racial slurs (I get that this is the period it's set in, Quentin, but come on, dude), and the requisite amount of Quentin's very talented friends filling out the cast, along with some new faces which by and large absolutely kill it in this. Among the Tarantino regulars, we've got Kurt Russell having the absolute time of his life hamming it up as The Hangman, donning a vaguely John Wayne manner of speaking; we've got Tim Roth as a chipper Englishman; we've got Michael Madsen being quiet and suspicious; and we have Samuel L. "Motherfucking" Jackson as the de facto protagonist for most of the movie, a free black bounty hunter with a history of war crimes. And among the new faces, there's Jennifer Jason Leigh who really shines in the latter half of the movie after her character stops being a punching bag for Kurt Russell -- more on that later; we've got the legendary Bruce Dern as an old piece of shit Confederate general; there's Demián Bichir as a one-dimensional walking Mexican stereotype (which is a shame, because the man can act; watch Soderbergh's Che and you'll see him turn in a killer performance as Comrade Fidel himself) and there's Walton Goggins, a man with a funny name who has apparently been in multiple movies I've seen playing bit parts (including Tarantino's Django Unchained, apparently) as an upbeat and definitely racist ostensible-sheriff and once-upon-a-time loyal Confederate. That's the eight of the title, and with the exception of Bichir (who's doing the best he can with, uh, what he was given) they all turn in absolutely incredible performances. I'm talking these cats could all be nominated for Best Actor and it'd still be a competition.

So those two pins we put in earlier about the movie's, mmmm, not great aspects, let's revisit those quickly.

First off, Jennifer Jason Leigh's character. The first half of this movie is not kind to this woman. She gets fuck-all in the way of good writing, and is mostly a prop and an object for Kurt Russell's character to violently abuse until the guy gets offed in bloody fashion (as you do in a Tarantino picture), after which she turns into -- gasp! -- a real character, and a fucking good one too. So, okay, better writers than me have already written their piece about this problem. I feel like "maybe it's not great that Leigh exclusively gets punched in the face for the first half of this 200-minute movie" isn't a particularly hot take at this point. Could you argue that Tarantino was trying to make the Hangman look like a piece of shit? Yeah, certainly, if not for the fact he plays it almost exclusively for laughs. Is it funny to me that this guy clearly doesn't think of Daisy as human? Nah, not really.

Second off, who knew Quentin "I purposely put, like, fucking 100 N-words into this script 'cause I'm a white dude with auteur license and nobody can stop me" Tarantino maybe isn't the greatest with racial politics? Could've fooled me! The character of Bob, played by Demián Bichir, does jack shit for most of the movie except say "cabrón" every now and then. He is easily the most underwritten character, and when you have him as one of the eponymous Eight maybe that's not such a good thing. He gets no real personality apart from "he's a bad liar." It's a fucking shame, it really is, and a waste of a damn fine actor. You can do better, Quentin. Come on.

Anyway, those (admittedly pretty small in the grand scheme of things) problems aside this could pass for one of Quentin's best. I think it's worth a watch, just have a few sodas ready for the 200 minute runtime, and try your best to get past the couple small bumps it hits along the way.

This movie fucks.

[harrietvane]

do you mind talking about why you dislike Love Actually and Richard Curtis's romcoms? I've seen you mention it in some of your tags and I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

Long post, so scroll now, ye who care not.

OK, so like better voices than mine have articulated Why Love Actually Sucks Balls, but you were kind enough to ask for my view, so strap in I’m gonna talk about Jane Eyre, and the 1990’s Fran Drescher sitcom The Nanny also. It’s coming up on western civilisations’ holiday season, so why not, it’s a good time to tell this movie to choke, because it’s about to be repeatedly thrust upon us once again. (Disclaimer: I acknowledge Richard Curtis is responsible for Blackadder and Vicar of Dibley, so whatever else, we’re still cool on that basis. But I have spite and to spare, so there’s plenty to go around).

My main beef is actually the context. Technically, if all of the below bullshit was in an offbeat movie from any other movie market (I’m thinking maybe a French, or Spanish movie from the 90′s boom, Almodovar style?), the focus would probably be a black humour take on ‘Lord What Fools These Mortals Be!’, sort of look at the inherent ridiculousness of mankind, and how we get in our own way, blah blah, might have been cute. I’d buy that. This movie? A british movie for the american market? It’s sold with a big holiday sticker on it saying ‘ROMANCE’, and specifically ‘ADORABLE ASPIRATIONAL ROMANCE THAT YOU SHOULD ADORE AND ASPIRE TO’. Also the context *inside* the movie itself (through a narration voiceover no less) is that all of these narratives is somehow proof that ‘Love, Actually is all around’, and specifically in a good, wholesome, happy way, overall at least. These stories are redeeming, even if they’re not all happy, they’re Good™ or whatever. The context outside the movie is the same: british TV advertising, hard copy packaging, holiday specials, outdoor gala screenings: they all say over and over: THIS IS SQUISHY HOT PINK NEON LOVE, wholesome, healing, and healthy. You should want this, aspire to this, think this is the cat’s pyjamas! It’s a wide and varied look at the beautiful power of love from all angles, comic, tragic, the lot. 

Is it fuck. The ‘positive’ romance stories range from Stage-5 Creeper to Crotch Puppet Afterthought, the ‘melancholy’, thwarted romance stories seem to say ‘if you’re a woman who’s not readily/immediately bangable to your allocated straight dude, romance is over for you I’m afraid’. Let’s recap, shall we:

Much has already been said about Andrew Lincoln’s character BLANTANTLY SHARKING ON HIS BEST MATE’S WIFE being uhhh, less than fresh. I don’t even feel like I need to justify this one, it’s so over-the-top. The main point is that movie itself maintains this as a tragic, swoony, thwarted, heart-string-tugging missed connection, rather than The Worst Friend Ever (meaning: it assumes we’ll be 100% onboard with Keira Knightley skipping secretly away from Chiwetel Eijiofor to grant his best mate one treasured kiss, as opposed to saying ‘what the FUCK Mark, why are you telling me this, this is super inappropriate?? and my only wedding video is just you zooming in on my face? Pls get help’.

We all love National Treasure Colin Firth and all, but like is Love, Actually fixating on a woman who literally can’t speak to you? Has said nothing understandable to you? About whose own life you’ve never yet, and could never have asked about? Whose main interactions with you have been to wordlessly clean your room, bring you food, and tidy it away after? Your ideal woman, who you meet immediately following a break up, is one who silently meets all your domestic needs, while making zero emotional or intellectual demands on you whatsoever? WOW, SHOCKER. (Oh but it’s cute or whatever, they have him propose, and there’s a mix up when her sister appears, but she’s Ugly™, so it’s funny that the sister is not getting romance. I mean, how could she, an uggo?? Classic joke. Good times.)

The Prime Minster and his tea lady: more on Curtis’ Domestic Servitude Kink below, whoo boy.

Laura Linney would really really like to sleep with Rodrigo Santoro, and god bless her who wouldn’t, but she is tragically unable to, because she has family commitments as being the sister – not even fulltime carer, just RELATED TO -  a brother living with disability. Sorry folks, romance is OFF THE CARDS, FOREVER for Laura here. How can she??? That’s the nature of love, actually. Can you have sex right now this moment? No? Whelp, sorry, thanks for playing, back to the Tragic Assisted Living facility for you. Gosh it’s unfortunate that’s a truth universally acknowledged that any whiff of disability = no romance for you ever. (Don’t start me on 4 Weddings* [edit: *it’s totally Notting Hill, not 4 Weddings, thank] and how that husband is like The Best because he continues to love his wife even though her legs don’t work. What a champ, honestly, do they have an award for that?) I have to stop now before I get sarcasm poisoning, but my eyes will continue to roll.

How could I say anything bad about the Liam Neeson widower and his adorable lovestruck son storyine? Lol, I’m gonna. Have you seen the Buffy episode The Zeppo? Xander is convinced the only way girls (as a concept, not in the specific) will like him enough to sleep with him is if he has A Thing. The Thing is posited as ‘being cool’ by having an object or skill that alone will be the magic bullet to romance. Musical instrument prowess is considered, and he ends up just getting a car to be his Thing. This just seems like a redux of that logic. This kid could get some genuine direction from the movie to get to know this girl, learn her interests and share his, see if she likes him as a person by being A PERSON, but the narrative just backs away from that and eventually DOES just say ‘play the drums in the show, she’ll like you’ and that’s …it. But it’s cool, teenagers don’t learn key interpersonal dynamics at this age or anything, she kisses him for some reason, whatever. (Bonus points for gifting his dad with a literal supermodel as a punchline, after making that an actual joke earlier about the shallow nature of attraction, and love is about filling a one-sided need.)

I could go on, but I have very little to say about Freeman falling for a girl whose tits he’s been holding for a week, the no-homo pop star Nighy plot, or the guy that goes and has sex in Wisconsin with Bond Girls, and can’t be bothered, which leads me to…

Richard Curtis’ Domestic Servitude Kink. Must I kinkshame Richard Curtis in his own home?? Nope, I’m kinkshaming him AT WORK in his narratives, surrounded by his nubile, pliant, adorable female employee characters. Oh Mr Curtis, I seem to have dropped a pencil!

OK, so like a M/F Domestic Servitude romance is an extremely old trope, and extremely common, and I’m not here to tear that up, because done well it’s amazing, lot of petrol in that King Cophetua narrative tank. I’m a fan. The most famous in-context historical example being Jane Eyre, for instance: he’s her boss, she’s his paid subordinate, they’re both 100% aware of that. It’s a great way to explore the real-life class and power dynamics of these 2 train wrecks of human beings, and they vomit their ridiculous drama llama feelings all over a 600 page novel. Super fun, they’re both awful humans, I love them. Mid-century you might have The Sound of Music, and in more modern times you get 1990s sitcom The Nanny, both extremely well-developed romances involving paid employees, and part of their value is that the shows KNOW THIS. They’re aware it’s the basis for their dynamic, that they have to directly play with that, and develop beyond to go anywhere. Watching Fran Fine in her runway-fresh Moschino minidresses jump on Maxwell Sheffield’s desk for the 800th time making him super uncomfortable (and not a little turned on) is always such a treat. It’s right out there on the label. The problem with Love, Actually, is Curtis doesn’t want to admit that naughty secretary seems to be a cornerstone of what gets him going, romantic-stylez. 

One (1) time in the movie would be ‘sure, why not’. Literally the highest political office in the land, making overtures to the woman who brings him tea, i guess might be a bit off, but let’s say it’s done well, and maybe Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon’s charisma gets us over the line (his behaviour is cute because her last man didn’t like her body, but the prime minister DOES like her body! so it’s cute!). Whatever, seen worse. Two (2) times however is making a point, and Colin Firth is driving his silent portuguese maid home - not a french maid but so close! - and deciding he’d like her to bring him tea and clean his toilet for as long as they both shall live, and that also seems to be her greatest joy. Ah, l’amour. OK, I guess you like the thing, everyone has a thing, but at least you’re done now. Wait, you mean there’s a third (3rd) one? Everyone’s Fave Alan Rickman drives the plot of his own marriage’s tragic romance because he’s having stiffening feelings about his own Naughty Secretary halloween costume, after all. All the beautiful speeches about Joni Mitchell give Thompson some nice things to do, but it still assumes the Nature of Romance is to want to plough the help. A man can’t help it! It’s how romantic attraction works! Once would be whatever. Three times and there’s a tag on Ao3 for that, so please just scratch that itch and stop selling it to me in a heartwarming christmas movie as the Universal Nature Of Romance, so varied, so vast, the full spectrum! Just 2 hours to tell a story: but 3 whole narratives and 7 actors devoted to the variants on the naughty maid story. My point is be upfront about it and I’d be all for it - pretend it’s not A Thing You’re Doing and my creep-meter goes ping. Steven Shainberg’s ‘Secretary’ has a scene where the boss literally puts a saddle on his employee, and I find it to be one of the most genuinely moving romances I’ve ever seen. Love Actually makes me feel like Curtis is sending me a ‘u up?’ late night text about his secretary fantasy.

Anyway, I fucking hate this film, and not necessarily because of the content, but because of the context. The movie tells me to love it as aspirational romance. My culture tells me to love it as aspirational romance. Everyone tells me to love it as a varied and full exploration of reasons to get up in the morning, because it’s an aspirational romance. It makes me want to claw my own face off.