#friday is a holiday and i've been holding out for that for two months

[seekingthestars]

me, yesterday: i got some projects done so i am finally starting to feel a little less overwhelmed at work!

work, today: gives me 5 new projects in the span of 8 hours

me: well nevermind 🫠🫠🫠🫠

[formulauno98]

Once Upon a Time in Mexico | Chapter Nine

Three months on from the French Grand Prix, life was going more smoothly, until yet another hurdle appeared. With your Dad coming to watch a race, the pressure was on to impress this weekend.

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: Some very mild smut

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

Three months had passed since your fateful meeting with the HR department and the Board and as promised, you and Toto had kept your relationship on a strictly need-to-know basis. Bar the interview with Christian, the media had not picked up on your relationship and it seemed as if ultimately no one really cared. 

That being said, there were still only a few members of the team who knew the full truth as you had decided it just didn’t need to be addressed within the workplace. Time and time again you wished wholeheartedly that Lara wasn't one of them but thankfully she had dialled down the sassy comments. You still didn't quite trust her and you couldn't put your finger on why.

Since the French Grand Prix there had been several more races as well as the Summer break. You had taken this moment of peace and quiet to get to know Toto even better, away from the office, having travelled to Tuscany together for a short break at the beginning of the Summer. Things were going swimmingly and you were falling more and more in love by the day. Toto was keen for you to meet his two children and had suggested you take advantage of the impending end of the season to come to Austria and spend some time with them. You were apprehensive but hopeful that you would get along with them, although you weren’t holding your breath as they were teenagers at the end of the day.

During the shutdown, Toto had taken them on holiday to Costa Rica on an outdoorsy jungle adventure whilst you went to Portugal on a girl's trip. Those two weeks were the longest that you'd been apart since the beginning of your romance and you were happy to be right back at his side when racing returned.

Across the races that had transpired between France and Mexico, Mercedes had managed to claw back the points difference that had been lost and were now neck and neck with their arch rivals Red Bull. Toto was trying his best not to show it but you could tell that he was extremely stressed on behalf of the entire team and the manic energy flowing out of his veins was palpable by the time you touched down in Mexico City.

Fortunately, you had a distraction, your father was finally coming to a race weekend and you were looking forward to showing him what you did for a living. The only apprehension that you did have was the fact that you hadn't told any of your family about Toto, knowing that they would disapprove of the large age gap not to mention the fact that he was a divorcee with two children that you were still yet to meet. You hoped that you could keep your relationship under wraps in front of your father as successfully as you did with the team.

FRIDAY AM

One positive about Mexico City was that you and Toto were able to share a room without anyone from the team being aware of it. The way that the hotel was laid out, in various buildings around a compound, meant that you could easily get around without being spotted. This meant that you’d spent the last two nights in Toto’s rather impressive suite, cuddled up to your favourite man.

This particular morning you'd woken up to find the bed empty, guessing that your boyfriend had gone off to the gym as he often did in the morning. To kill some time you scrolled through your phone, grimacing at the barrage of emails that had already come in for the day. Just as you were about to scratch the surface of your inbox, the door opened to reveal a very sweaty-looking Toto.

“Y/N,” he said breathily, “You will never guess what I just saw.” 

“I'm not sure if I've got the energy to guess right now,” you said, stretching and yawning as you sat up in bed.

“Well I was crossing the bridge from the gym back into our building and I saw Christian Horner walking out from the other section of the hotel,” he said excitedly, his demeanour much like a kid waking up on Christmas.

“Okay, I know you and Christian have a really special relationship but I'm not sure if that's that exciting,” you said, still half asleep and not thrilled with the idea of sharing a hotel with the nasty Red Bull team principal who had publicly outed your romance just a few months earlier, jeopardising your entire professional reputation.

“No no but don't you see?” said Toto, “Red Bull are not staying in this hotel. Why would he be here first thing in the morning?”

Now you understood why Toto was so excited, “Oh gosh,” you said, “I didn't think about that, weird.”

“Exactly,” said Toto with a wild look in his eye, “I'm going to ask at the front desk which other teams are staying here. I know Red Bull are on the other side of town but I think Ferrari are here.”

“Damn, I can't believe you of all people found some juicy gossip,” you said, now fully sat up and awake.

“I know,” said Toto, crossing the room to lean down and kiss you.

“Ew, Toto, you’re kind of sweaty,” you said, recoiling as he dripped on you.

“Well then I have to make you sweaty,” he said playfully.

Batting him away jokingly, you replied, “Should I be worried that you see one glimpse of Christian early in the morning and you're this horny?”

Toto laughed, “Maybe, I am actually going to go down to the reception and ask them now while it’s still quiet.”

“Sure knock yourself out, I'll be waiting for you here.” you said, bemused at his enthusiasm, “I might jump in the shower if you want to join me when you are back?”

“I would very much like that.” he replied, kissing you once more,  “Right I will see you in five minutes.”

At that, he swiftly exited the room, on a mission to find out what was going on.

You couldn't help but laugh, Toto and Christian had a very strange and complicated relationship where they went from throwing relatively harmless schoolboy insults at each other to hitting below the belt as Christian had done at the French Grand Prix. Christian was an unpleasant character and wasn’t friendly with many of their counterparts, whereas Toto had a few more friends in the paddock. This meant that Toto typically took the high road and didn't retaliate but the French Grand Prix had shown Christian's true colours and he’d been looking for a way to retaliate for months.

Crossing the soft beige carpet of your suite to the bathroom you picked up the clothes that you'd strewn across the room last night as you'd made frantic love to Toto. You smiled as you picked up his crumpled white Mercedes shirt, thinking about how far you'd come in a relatively short time. 

Having tidied, you’d barely made it into the shower when Toto returned, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Y/N, it’s me, can I come in?" he called out.

You laughed at his perpetual politeness, “Of course, it would be rude not to. How was your mission?”

“Successful,” he said with a smug grin as he stripped off his gym kit and joined you under the steamy water.

“Oh yeah?” you asked as you turned around to face him.

“Yes,” he said, so excited by his news he wasn't even distracted by the fact that you were fully naked and lathered up in the shower. “The woman at the front desk said it's only Mercedes and Ferrari staying here.”

“Ooh, that is juicy!” you said, “So he was either seeing someone from our team or someone from Ferrari at seven in the morning in their room?”

“Exactly,” said Toto, the wild look back in his eye, “And the best part is we know everyone who is staying here so we can figure it out.”

“Check you, Sherlock Holmes,” you said laughing, “What shall we do?”

Toto stepped behind you wrapping his arms around you and palming your breasts as if it would help him with his predicament, “I can think of a few things.” he said.

“You have a one-track mind, Mr Wolff,” you said, “I meant about this Christian situation.”

“I have some ideas,” he replied, continuing to caress your breasts absentmindedly, “I think maybe we invite the team out tonight. We conquer and divide, maybe you can ask Rosie as well. She seems to always be on our side?”

“It’s divide and conquer,” you said, creasing up as his attempt at an English idiom, “But if I ask Rosie, then George will know by extension and he's not great at keeping secrets or being discreet.”

“But he kept ours?” wagered Toto, “I guess you’re right, let's keep it to just us.”

“I reckon,” you said, “Besides, my Dad is coming. So I need to keep him entertained too.”

Toto's wandering hands stopped dead, “Oh shit, I had almost forgotten.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Kind of.” he said guiltily, “I hope he likes me.”

“How could he not?” you said, “And anyway as far as he is concerned, you’re just my boss.”

Toto’s hands began moving again, “Your boss who you let shower with you?”

“Oh yeah, do you not shower with our other colleagues?” you said with a smirk, grinding yourself back, pressing your ass against Toto’s growing semi.

“Can’t say I do,” said Toto, growling, his hands now roaming lower, towards your sweet spot. “Turn around,” he added commandingly.

As you turned, you leant up to meet his lips with yours, always a stretch due to your height difference.

“Mmm.” he said, “Let me soap you up. Get you all clean.”

“Always so diligent,” you said.

“It’s the job of a Team Principal,” he said dead seriously, squeezing shower gel into his large hands and starting to meticulously lather your behind.

“Oh, so you do this for everyone on the team?” you said with a smirk. 

“Only the hot ones,” he said, working his hands up your back and around to your stomach.

“Oh, so Lewis too?” you said, laughing.

“You're such a nightmare,” he said, “I’ll have to teach you a lesson.” With that he bent down to kiss you once more, pushing his fully hard length into your stomach.

Just as you were starting to lose yourself in your lover’s arms, you were snapped out of the trance by a loud buzz.

“Fuck, what was that?” you said, as you jumped apart.

“I think it’s the door.” Toto said, stepping to one side, “I’ll go and check. God help whoever it is. Stay here.”

As Toto wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way out of the bathroom, you shut the water off and wrapped yourself in a large towel, padding over to where he’d left the door open just a crack.

“Rosie.” you could hear Toto saying, his tone surprised.

“Hi Toto, I am so sorry to bother you this early but I tried texting Y/N and heard nothing. There’s something you both need to see. I tried her room but figured she may be here with you but don’t worry, if not I can just show you.” Rosie rambled, clearly nervous.

“No, no come in, she’s just in the bathroom,” said Toto.

Guessing this was your cue to come out, you opened the door.

“Hey Rosie,” you said sheepishly, well aware of how it looked, with you and Toto wearing nothing but towels.

“I am so so sorry to have interrupted,” said Rosie awkwardly.

“It’s fine, we were just getting ready.” you said, “What’s up?”

Rosie sighed, “The press have got wind of you two, the Daily Mail has a photo of you kissing and they’re going to run it on Saturday.”

“Scheiße!” exclaimed Toto, sitting down on one of the lounge chairs in the living area of his suite.

“How do you know?”  you asked Rosie, as you followed him through to the living area.

“We got a request for a comment from the journalist and I'm so sorry I only just picked it up because of the time difference,” said Rosie apologetically, as you paced up and down.

“Fuck, what are we going to do?” you said, stopping your pacing and turning to Toto.

“How should I know?” he replied, “You're the Director of Communications, that's why I hired you.”

“Touché,” you said “Well I think that what we should do is sit tight and see how this pans out. It might be a case that the story will be three-quarters of the way down the sidebar of shame and no one picks it up or thinks anything of it.”

“That's true,” said Rosie empathetically, “Sometimes these things don't take off in the sensational way that the journalists hope.”

“I certainly hope so.” said Toto, his tone serious, “But I know who will care about it.”

“Did they send the photo?” you asked Rosie.

“Yes, they did. Let me show you,” said Rosie, taking out her phone.

Glancing at Toto, you grimaced, wondering where this photo could have been taken. You hoped it hadn’t been in Tuscany as there was no denying it was a romantic holiday and you’d gotten carried away on your romantic picnics more than once.

“Here it is,” said Rosie, bending down to show Toto as he sat in his chair.

“Scheiße!” Toto exclaimed once again, “That was by the factory after we met with HR and the board.”

“Can I see?” you said moving closer.

“Sure,” Rosie replied, moving her phone across so that you could take a look.

Sure enough, it was blurry but it was undoubtedly you and Toto walking along the river bank after you had your meeting, cups of coffee in hand. To make matters worse, it wasn't just one photo, it was a series, one looking like you are deep in discussion, one with your hand on Toto’s chest and then the final one was him leaning down to kiss you.

You made a face at Rosie which she exchanged.

“Look it's obviously not great,” you said, “But honestly I think people don't care that much. Look at what happened after Christian tried to out us to Sky, no one cared. I just worry that the board will see this especially because it's near the workplace.”

“But do they know that it’s near the factory?” said Rosie, “It's not that obvious where that is if you don't know where it is. If that makes sense?”

“Robert will know,” interjected Toto, “I've taken him there for a coffee before.”

“Shit.” you said, “Although to the outside world, we're not wearing our uniforms it could just be any day.”

 “That's true,” said Toto, “At least they can't say that we're bringing shame on the brand.”

“I'm so sorry guys,” said Rosie, standing back up and putting her phone away. “If there's anything I can do to help let me know. I’ll leave you alone now and again, I'm so sorry for coming to disturb you so early.”

Standing up from the chair, obviously feeling awkward about the fact he was only wearing a towel, Toto said kindly, “No, thank you, Rosie, I appreciate you coming to us. I'm sorry for not being so presentable this morning, I just got back from the gym.”

“Yes, thank you, Rosie, honestly it's good to have a heads up about things like this. At least we can start to think of a game plan,” you said kindly, “And again sorry that we're not quite ready.”

“Don't be silly,” said Rosie, “I'm just sorry that it was early and that I was the bearer of bad news.”

“It's okay, we'll figure something out,” you said as Rosie made her way back out of your suite. “Thanks again. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“See you later,” said Rosie as she closed the door behind her.

“Are we ever going to get a break?” Toto asked as he sat down on the bed still only wearing a towel.

“Unfortunately, I think not,” you said, “If it gets to the Board again obviously I will go, please don't jeopardise your life for me. You've worked so hard for so long to build this team up, it would be stupid to throw it all away just because of something silly.”

“It's not silly when it's you,”  he said very seriously, looking you in the eyes, his dark eyes flashing intensely.

“You know what I mean,” you said, settling down beside him on the bed and putting an arm around his shoulder.

“The thing I don’t understand is how there are so many photos. Why would a paparazzi be at the factory on a random Monday?” Toto said, leaning into you.

“I agree, it is suspicious. I am going to ask around and see if someone will name the source,” you replied, trying to reassure him.

At that, he managed a small smile, “Thank you. Do you want to finish in the shower and I'll come in afterwards? I love you but I'm not really in the mood now.”

“Don't be silly, we can still go together. We don't have to fill every moment with sex. I'm happy to just have a shower with you,” you said.

Toto flopped his head down on your shoulder in agreement, “Sure let's do it.”

FRIDAY PM

Having wrapped a successful Free Practice, you were now back in Toto’s hotel room, frantically deciding a game plan for the evening’s dinner. The news story Rosie had rushed to tell you about was due to come out in the early hours as it was running on Saturday morning UK time, and you just hoped no one would see it while you were all out. On top of that, Toto was still insistent on going through with his madcap scheme to find out what Christian was doing in your hotel that morning. 

The team had been surprised by your sudden insistence to go out last minute on a Friday night but seemed enthusiastic about going for tacos and margaritas. You’d managed to convince most of the team to come along and ulterior motives aside, it was always nice to build some team spirit.

Crazy schemes aside, you also had to contend with the fact that your Dad was coming to join you for drinks after dinner, having landed in Mexico City that afternoon.

“So, what do I say to him?” asked Toto as he buttoned up his blue linen shirt beside you in the bathroom.

You sighed, “Nothing, you’re my boss, that’s all he knows. Say boss things.”

“I don’t like it.” said Toto, “But I’ll play along.”

“Good.” you said, kissing him on the cheek, “I just know he’ll be dramatic about his little girl dating a big scary man and we don’t need more drama this weekend.”

“Big and scary?” said Toto, raising an eyebrow, “I’m not sure I am big or scary.”

“Have you seen yourself?” you asked.

“You know what I mean.” he said, “I hope the team doesn't feel weird that I’m coming tonight.”

“I think you have a complex about this.” You said, “They love it when you participate.”

“I doubt this,” said Toto, tightlipped and unconvinced.

———

The atmosphere in the restaurant was jovial, with the team in high spirits after a successful Free Practice. It was a good turn out and Lewis and George had even joined for the evening, much to the team’s pleasure. Toto had been correct in his assumptions that people would be thrown off that he was joining you but it wasn’t long before the margaritas were flowing and they began to let loose, not worried about what their boss would think.

You’d divided up, working the tables to make sure you spoke to everyone in the team, casually dropping the fact that you were sharing the hotel with Ferrari here and there, hoping that someone might talk. It wasn’t long before you struck gold, with Bella.

“It must be nice being in the same hotel for once, no?” you asked, knowing that her husband, Gio, worked for Ferrari.

“Yeah, it almost never happens!” she said brightly, “Who do I need to speak to for us to always stay together?”

You laughed, before trying to subtly dig some more, “I guess the travel department but Ferrari would have to agree too. I’m not averse to it personally, I’d rather see them around than the Red Bull lot.”

Bella nodded in agreement before dropping her voice, “Yeah but do you not know about Christian Horner?”

“Huh?” you asked, playing dumb, “What do you mean?”

Bella looked around as if scared someone would overhear her in the loud restaurant, “He’s seeing one of the PR girls at Ferrari, Gio saw them a few weeks ago and he must have been in our hotel last night. We saw him creeping out this morning.”

You tried your best to feign shock, “No way! Isn’t he married as well?”

“Yup.” said Bella, pulling a face, “Nice guy right?”

“Indeed.” you said, “His poor wife. Although, actually, scrap that, if I was married to him, I’d be encouraging him to go off and find someone else.”

Bella laughed, sipping her margarita once again, “Same to be honest. They’re all whispering about it at Ferrari. I think they’re worried he’s doing it for information.”

“Oh really?” you asked, trying to catch Toto’s eye to signal that you’d uncovered what he was looking for, “But what does this girl look like? I’m sure he’s just a horny old man.”

“That’s true, she’s much younger than him, pretty and a redhead, so just his type.”

“Oof,” you said, finally managing to catch Toto’s eyes and winking at him. 

Never one to miss a trick, Bella whipped her head around to see who you were winking at. “I still swear he has a thing for you, you know.”

Playing coy, you laughed it off, “Nah, he’s just goofy.”

“You like that though,” said Bella cheekily.

“I do like him, but just as a colleague,” you said, “I’m glad he’s our boss and not that slimeball Christian.”

“Me and you both,” replied Bella.

Just as you raised your glass once more you clocked a familiar face coming into the restaurant, “Bella, you’ll have to excuse me, my Dad has just arrived!” you said excitedly, “I’ll just go and say hi and bring him around to say hello to everyone.”

“Ah lovely, I’m looking forward to it,” said Bella, turning to chat with her colleagues who were sitting on the other side of her.

Crossing the restaurant, you were nervous, your Dad had never visited you at work before and you weren’t sure what he’d make of your increasingly rowdy colleagues.

“Mi hija!” he exclaimed loudly as he spotted you making your way towards him.

“Papa!” you said, warmly embracing him. It had been a while since you’d seen your father, having only gone home for Christmas, “How was the flight?”

“Good thank you,” he said, “How are you? How was the free practice?”

“Good thanks, it went well. I’m excited for tomorrow and so excited you’re finally coming to a race.” you said, “Do you want to meet my colleagues?”

You’d spotted Toto immediately clocking your father and straightening his collar. You couldn’t help but smile, clearly meeting the parents was nerve-wracking at any stage in life.

“Sure,” replied your Dad with a wide grin, “I want to meet the famous Rosie.”

Smiling that he remembered your friend’s name, you clocked Rosie, lurking in the corner with George and a few other members of the press team. Making your way over you spied Toto getting up to come over and join you.

“Hey guys, there’s someone I’d like you all to meet, this is my Dad!” You said, “Dad, this is Rosie, George, Olivia and Emily.”

“Nice to meet you, we’ve heard so much about you!” said Rosie, immediately leaping up to say hello. George followed suit, shaking your Dad’s hand and exchanging pleasantries before a scared look in his eye told you that Toto was standing somewhere behind you.

“Hey Toto,” said George nervously, clearly not sure if your Dad knew about your relationship.

“Oh Dad, this is Toto, our boss,” you said, turning around to allow Toto to make his introduction.

“Hello, so lovely to meet you finally,” said Toto, flashing a grin as he shook your Dad’s hand, “Your daughter is a superstar.”

“Likewise,” your Dad said, clearly pleased by Toto’s words, “I know, you’re very lucky to have her.”

“Believe me I know it,” said Toto, looking over at you adoringly. “Can I get you a drink at all?”

“That would be great, I’ll come with you to the bar,” replied your Dad, slapping Toto on the shoulder, despite the fact he was a good foot shorter, “Mi hija, would you like anything?”

“Can I please have another piña colada?” you asked.

“Of course, can I get anyone else anything?” your Dad asked, turning back towards Rosie and crew.

“We’re good for the moment but thank you,” Rosie replied.

At that, you watched nervously as your Dad and Toto disappeared off towards the bar. Settling down beside Rosie and George, you checked that Olivia and Emily were deep in conversation before saying “Eek I’m nervous.”

“Does he know?” asked George.

“Nope, we decided it’s better to go with he’s just my boss for now.”

“Oooh.” said George, “Well you need to tell Toto to stop making googly eyes at you, he’s so obvious about it these days.”

“I think that will be the least of our problems after tomorrow,” you said furtively, glancing at Rosie.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” she replied kindly, “As we said, no one really cares.”

“Hmm,” you said unconvinced.

———

As the night went on, drinks were now freely flowing and you could see some of your colleagues were too far gone. The younger mechanics always pushed it too hard and you were worried they’d be hungover and grumpy for quali the next day.

Your Dad was deep in conversation with Rosie and George and you spied Toto leaning against the wall, chatting to the senior engineers. Making your way over, you gently tapped him on the arm.

“Hey Y/N, how are you? The guys were just saying how much they like your Dad,” said Toto.

“Aw that’s sweet, I think he’s loving it!” you said, looking over to where he was now dragging Rosie up to start dancing.

“I can see that,” replied Toto. “Do you think we should try and wrap things up?”

“That’s why I came over.” you said, “Shall I do our usual trick?”

“Good idea,” said Toto, winking at you as his companions looked blankly, “You’ll see,” he said, turning to them.

You smiled as you sauntered over to the bartender. Having booked the restaurant out entirely you could easily call it a night.

“Hey, I know this is unorthodox but do you think we could do a last call? I don’t want everyone to be hungover tomorrow,” you said.

“Sure,” said the bartender, “Although I think it might be too late.”

As if on cue, you spotted Mo falling over his chair as he tried to get up. Sighing, you replied, “Maybe.”

Rejoining Toto, who was now standing alone, checking his emails and looking grumpy, you discreetly whispered, “I have the juicy gossip by the way.”

He perked up immediately, “No one was cracking, who is it?”

“Good news, none of our lot.” you said smiling, “He’s knocking off one of the PR girls at Ferrari.”

“How did you find out?” he said, his eyes lit up.

“Bella,” you said with a smirk.

“This is good,” said Toto, “I can use this.”

“Jesus, you’re as bad as he is,” you said. “I’ll tell you everything later, yeah?”

“So you’re coming back to mine?” he said excitedly, just as the last call bell rang.

“Of course.” you said, “But we need to be careful with my Dad. And on that note, what were you talking about with him at the bar?”

“Just chatting,” said Toto, folding his arms smugly.

“Sure,” you said suspiciously.

———

Having rounded up the troops, the team were now merrily making their way back towards the hotel. Thankfully it was just a short walk and you were happy to see your Dad getting stuck in and chatting away to anyone who would listen.

Toto was walking ahead with Bono and Lewis, deep in conversation about the coming weekend so you rushed to catch up with your Dad.

“Hey stranger,” you said, looping your arm through his.

“How are you my love?” he asked, “Your colleagues are very nice.”

“I’m glad you like them, it’s my favourite part of the job.” you said, “They were all excited to meet you so I’m sure you’ll be spoiled all weekend.”

“Yes, George said I can sit in the garage.” your Dad said smugly, “And Toto, he’s quite something no?”

“Did he now?” you said laughing, “Well it’s actually my decision who sits in the garage as a guest so I’ll be having words with George. But yes Toto is lovely.”

“He is in love with you.” said your Dad, turning to you on a more serious note.

“Huh?” you asked, taken aback by his frank admission.

“He only has eyes for you.” he said, “When we were at the bar he kept glancing over at you. Trust me I know these things. You could do a lot worse mi hija.”

Feeling guilty that your Dad was right on the money you sighed, “Well then, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Your Dad smiled, “I knew it. Just be careful, he is a little old for you.”

Smiling, you replied, “I will be. He was so nervous to meet you.”

“I could tell,” your Dad replied, “He kept telling me how brilliant you were at the bar and that he hoped you would work together forever.”

You laughed, “How romantic.”

“I could tell what he really meant.” said your Dad dryly, “He will have to meet your mother though.”

“I know.” you said shyly, “I hope she likes him too.”

“Of course, she will. You look so happy mi hija, I haven’t seen you glowing like this in a long time.”

‘Thanks, Papa,” you said, kissing him on the cheek. “Just so you know, only a few of our colleagues know so please keep it quiet.

“Of course.” he replied, “It’s wise in the workplace.”

Having reached your hotel, it was time to say goodnight, “I will come and meet you in the morning and we can go to the track together?”

“Sounds good, sleep well and thank you again for inviting me,” he replied, grinning widely.

SATURDAY AM

Waking up on quali day, you were very content with how the following evening had gone. Toto had been thrilled by the fact that you’d confessed your relationship to your Dad and that he semi-had his blessing. Snuggling into Toto’s broad chest, you were so comfortable that you almost forgot the shitshow that was going to greet you when you checked your emails.

Leaning up to kiss Toto’s neck you could sense he was stirring awake.

“Morning,” you said, kissing him once more.

“Morning,” he replied sleepily, clutching you closer into his chest and kissing the top of your head.

Knowing that you had to face reality as quickly as possible like a band-aid being ripped off, you extracted yourself from Toto’s vice-like grip.

“No cuddles?” he said, now wide awake and put out.

“I need to check my emails,” you said, sitting bolt upright and reaching for your phone.

“Oh shit,” said Toto, rubbing his eyes.

“Indeed,” you said.

You didn’t have to look far to find the article, it was the top search result for Mercedes AMG Petronas this morning, the glaring headline reading “LOVE IN THE PADDOCK, MERCEDES TEAM BOSS TOTO WOLFF COSIES UP TO YOUNG COLLEAGUE.”

Groaning you scrolled down the article, they’d gone in heavy on the fact that Toto was two decades your senior and that he was your boss.

“What does it say?” asked Toto, sitting up in bed and putting on his glasses.

“The tone is not great,” you said, continuing to read. “But it’s not very long and mostly just the photos.”

“Okay, so what do we do?” Toto asked.

“I think we let it be, I’m sure it won’t go far,” you said, hoping you were correct.

“Fuck,” said Toto, now checking his phone.

“What’s wrong?

“Robert has put in a meeting.” he sighed, bringing his palm to his face.

“Shit, when?”

“After quali.” 

It wasn’t often that Toto looked nervous but he was looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

“Look, like I said, if he gives you a hard time, I will go,” you said bluntly.

“I don’t want you to,” said Toto, equally as bluntly.

“He’ll push for it,” you said.

“I’ll push back.”

“I know you will,” you said, reaching across and putting your arm around Toto. “But like I said, don’t jeopardise this for me. It’s a job for me at the end of the day. You built this team, it is what it is thanks to you and I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if anything came in the way of that.”

Toto pondered silently, obviously mulling things over. “Let’s see.”

——— 

Unfortunately, as your colleagues had started to wake up, your phone had started to blow up with messages asking what was going on.

Omg, Y/N! I knew it. Hope you are okay, the Daily Mail is brutal.

It was Bella. Then came a message from Tom.

Sheesh Y/N, no wonder you’re always smiling these days. I expect a full juicy debrief asap.

Not having the energy to reply yet you turned your phone off, turning to Toto.

“Everyone is asking me what’s going on,” you said flatly. 

Toto sighed, “Well maybe it’s time to come clean. I don’t like lies in the team.”

“I guess,” you said, laying your head on his chest.

“Look, I know that you still feel everybody's going to think that you're trying to sleep your way to the top,” said Toto, “But you've more than proven yourself at this point. No one can possibly think that. Just that you're crazy for going out with me.”

“I hope so,” you replied, “Stop saying that, people will think that you're the crazy one for going out with me.”

“As if,” Toto snorted, “They’ll be jealous of me.”

You rolled your eyes, “I doubt this highly.”

“Let’s wait and see,” said Toto, leaning over for a kiss, pinning you down in between his strong arms.

SATURDAY PM

Quali had gone even better than you had dared hope, with Lewis and George obtaining P1 and P2. Despite the sore heads from last night's shenanigans, drinks were flowing once more in the garage as the team celebrated the first front-row lockout of the season.

Nowhere to be seen, however, was your affable boss. Toto had slunk off to his office to take his meeting with Robert, barely raising a smile at your drivers’ valiant efforts. Now that your relationship was common knowledge, you felt in a way that a weight was off of your shoulders, however, now the pressure was on.

“Where’s Toto?” asked Rosie, as you stood nervously in the garage, not participating in the celebrations as you awaited his return.

“Long story,” you said.

Rosie looked a little shocked at your glum demeanour, “I hope everything is okay.” 

“Thanks.” you said, “I’m going to head to my office for a bit, can you please keep an eye on my Dad?”

“Sure, no problem,” she said, looking concerned.

As you wove your way through the garage and down the paddock to your office you were a bundle of nerves. You loved your job almost as much as you loved Toto and it would kill you to give it up after the huge amount of work you’d put in over the last eighteen months. But in your heart, you knew you would never forgive yourself if Toto put his neck on the line for you as this was his team at the end of the day.

You grabbed an espresso before settling down at your desk in your office, desperately trying to distract yourself with your inbox. You could hear Toto murmuring next door but not loudly enough for you to pick out any words. Furiously typing a reply to an email, you heard his chair roll back and the door creak open. 

A gentle knock on your door, “Y/N, I can hear you typing. Can I come in?”

“Sure,” you said, feeling awkward that he knew you had been trying to listen in.

Closing the door behind him, a serious-looking Toto crossed the space to sit on the sofa in your small office.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was that loud,” you said, embarrassed.

“No, not at all, I like it, I always know you’re close by,” he said, folding his arms. “Look, Robert is not happy with me but I managed to talk him around.”

“Really?” you said, eyes bright.

“Don’t get too excited, there is a but. He asked that you stay out of the spotlight, so no more press conferences, no more TV, no more media appearances, no more attending sponsorship events on behalf of the team.”

“That’s the but?” you asked incredulously, “Honestly, I’m fine with that.”

Toto smiled, “I know. But I pushed back.”

“Why?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“Because whether you believe it or not, you are a huge asset to the team. I told him that you will continue your day-to-day role, and the fact that you are my girlfriend is incidental. And that one day you’ll be my wife and he’ll have to get used to it.”

Your mouth fell open. Wife? “Well, thank you, and he was okay with that?”

“He has to be,” he said bluntly.

At that you hopped up, making your way around your desk to lean down and give him a lingering kiss, his large hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you down onto his lap.

“Toto!” you squealed, “This is my office!”

“I know, and I also know no one will be up here for at least the next ten minutes,” he said with a smirk, pulling your hips down closer to his, his hands creeping up your now untucked team shirt. Sighing, you gave in, kissing him back voraciously and running your hands through his hair.

With your luck, it was only inevitable that at that very moment, there was a knock on your door.

Leaping up, you straightened your shirt and Toto tried to fix his ruffled hair.

“Hello, Y/N, are you there?” It was Rosie.

“Hey Rosie, yes, sure come in,” you said.

As the door opened to reveal a startled-looking Rosie who had caught onto what she was interrupting, she stuttered, “I can come back later. I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t be silly, I was just leaving,” said Toto, getting up from the sofa and flashing a grin at your flustered colleague.

“Oh okay,” she said.

“See you later Toto,” you said.

“See you,” he replied, closing the door behind him.

“I am SO sorry.” said Rosie, “I need to stop interrupting you guys.”

You laughed, “Don’t worry, he was just updating me on the Daily Mail situation.”

Rosie looked sceptical, “Sure, sure. I just came up to check if everything was okay. You looked super sad in the garage. And before you panic, George is with your Dad.”

“Thanks, Rosie,” you said, “I was worrying, but it seems to have been for nothing.”

Appeased by your cheerful tone, Rosie replied, taking a seat on the sofa, “I’m glad to hear that, I knew Toto would handle it. He’s always been good at smoothing things over.”

“I hope so,” you said, gazing off into nowhere. “I guess I should head back down, and rescue George.”

“He’s fine, he’s loving the attention.” said Rosie, “You know what he’s like, a sixty-year-old man in a twenty-something-year-old body. They’re kindred spirits.”

You laughed, “That’s true.”

“I’m sorry again about this morning, when Toto opened the door in a towel I was mortified,” Rosie said, looking nervous.

“Oh gosh don’t worry, I think he was more embarrassed than you.” you said reassuringly, “And for the record, we genuinely were just getting ready.”

“Still embarrassing.” said Rosie, “Although for the record, damn, he’s in good shape. I always thought he would be but sheesh.”

Laughing, you replied, “He’s alright I guess. And you can talk, George with his washboard abs.”

“Let’s see how long they last into retirement,” said Rosie wistfully.

“Ooh things are that serious?” you asked.

“I hope so, he asked me about maybe getting engaged soon,” Rosie said, looking down at her feet.

“Oh my gosh, Rosie this is big!” you leapt up from your desk, “I knew it.”

Rosie looked pleased, “Let’s see.”

“Shall we head back down?” you asked, “I came up here to answer some urgent emails and managed to smash through them.”

“Sure,” said Rosie, standing up.

——— 

A few hours later, the team were wrapping for the evening in an attempt to get an early night ahead of the race. Your Dad had already gone back to his hotel to freshen up for dinner leaving you alone with Toto once again.

Wandering through the paddock you were conscious that rival teams were now aware of your relationship and you hoped they wouldn’t take too much notice. As you walked side by side you were suddenly greeted by a loud wolf whistle.

“Ooooh, look at the happy couple!” It was Christian Horner, looking smug as usual, swaggering up to you from within the Red Bull hospitality area.

“Good evening Christian,” said Toto frostily.

“Toto.” said Christian, nodding slightly, “Y/N. How’s wedded bliss? I heard you were getting frisky in the factory recently.”

Sensing Toto’s body clenching beside you, you tried to diffuse the situation in the only language that Christian would understand, sarcasm, “Yes, all day every day, right in the middle of the boardroom.”

“You’re a lucky bastard, Toto,” said Christian, “How does the phrase go, you’re only as old as the woman you feel?”

Toto looked livid, replying angrily, “Well I heard you’re fond of a little Italian.”

The blood draining from his face, Christian fought to compose himself before replying nonchalantly, “And?”

Toto’s eyes narrowed, “I’m not sure your wife would be thrilled by the news.”

Looking defeated, Christian threw his hands up before backing away, “You’re a sly bastard, I’ll give you that. Enjoy your evening.”

“And you,” you said through gritted teeth, Toto still raging beside you.

Making your way towards the car park you turned to Toto, “He really is a piece of shit.”

“One hundred per cent.” replied Toto, “I hate bowing down to his level but he went too far last time.”

Stroking Toto’s arm lightly you tried to calm him down, “Oh, you got him good this time. He’ll leave us alone now, I’m sure of it.”

Toto’s brow furrowed, he was unconvinced. “I hope so.”

“I know so.” you said confidently, “By the way, I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of who sold the photographs to the Daily Mail and every source is a dead end. I think it has to be someone at the factory.”

Toto’s eyebrows shot up, “At the factory.”

“Well yes,” you paused, explaining, “It’s not always a paparazzi who provide images to tabloids, sometimes they buy them from a private individual.”

“But who would do that?” asked Toto.

“I can think of someone,” you said.

“Lara?” he asked, on your wavelength.

“I think so. She’s been suspiciously nice to me recently,” you replied, having finally reached the car that would take you back to your hotel. Sliding into the back seat beside Toto, you turned to him, “How has she been with you?”

“The same as always,” mused Toto, covering your hand with his.

“I just don’t get her,” you said quietly, aware that the driver could hear every word.

“I know.” said Toto, “I will do some digging tomorrow if I have time.”

“Well it’s race day so don’t get too distracted,” you said. “We can find out next week when we’re back home.”

“True.” said Toto, “On that note, I wondered if you would like to come to mine for dinner on Wednesday next week?”

Surprised by his invitation as you were yet to go to his place in England, you replied, “Ooh yes, I’m curious.”

“It’s nothing special but I’d like to cook for you,” he said sweetly.

“I’d love that,” you said, looking at him lovingly, “And after you said that about your house in Monaco, I’m not sure if I believe you.”

Toto smirked, “No, the Monaco place is nicer. But this place is cosy.”

Already envisioning cuddling up on the sofa, you couldn’t wait.

SUNDAY PM

As usual, race day flew by at an alarming pace, with you feeling as if you’d barely sat down in the garage when the chequered flag was waving. It was a double podium finish with Lewis taking P1 and George P2, a success that meant Mercedes were now even with Red Bull as constructors.

The team were elated and Toto had rallied the team to meet in the garage post-race, your Dad included. He’d had the time of his life this weekend and fortunately for you, with your demanding schedule, the team had doted on him constantly. 

Standing in the garage beside Toto, you could tell that there were once again some curious glances being shot towards you. As more of the team gathered, Toto made his way across to you, sidling up beside you and bending down to whisper in your ear, “I’m going to tell them.”

You turned to him surprised, “Are you sure, is it not kind of weird?”

“No, it will be fine trust me,” he said, winking at you and walking towards the bar.

“Gather around everybody, there are a few words I would like to say,” said Toto, immediately commanding the attention of the team, the chatter instantly dying down. “First of all, I want to congratulate each and every one of you for today’s incredible effort and the results. We are now equal with Red Bull in the Constructor’s Championship and have the possibility of overtaking them.” He paused as the team applauded and cheered, “I’d like to say a special thank you to Lewis and George for their drives today, as well as our engineers and technicians who worked so tirelessly to gain us these crucial tenths of a second.”

“Thanks guys!” interjected Lewis, who was standing on the edge of the garage, listening in.

“Yes, thank you, couldn’t have done it without you,” said George cheerfully.

Toto laughed, “And as always thank you to everybody else in the team who makes these weekends possible.” he paused before glancing over at you, “I am also sure that many of you may have seen the story in the press about Y/N and I. As we are a team, I do not want secrets and I wanted you all to know that it is true, we have been seeing each other romantically for quite some time now.”

Murmurs echoed around the garage as heads turned around to look at you. Shrinking back behind the hulking figure of Bono, you had never felt more embarrassed in your life, until Lewis broke the tension with a cheeky wolf whistle.

“Ooohhh, tell us something we don’t know boss,” he said with a glint in his eye. “Just make sure you invite us all to the wedding yeah?”

Toto blushed and continued, “I just wanted you all to know straight from the horse’s mouth… is that the right phrase?” he looked at you pleadingly.

“Yes.” you said laughing, “For once.”

The team broke into laughter as your boss often confused English phrases and you always ended up correcting him.

“Thank you. Anyway, now that is out in the open, I hope you will join us in celebrating this weekend tomorrow evening at the factory.” Toto was beaming, clearly relieved to have got the news off of his chest, “Again, thank you to every one of you, this weekend has been good.”

Applause followed before the team started to mill about, some staying to pack up and others rushing off to the airport to make their flight. Fortunately, you would be taking the jet a little later so had no need to run yet.

Making his way towards you, Toto was smiling widely, his dimples out in full force. “Well that was easy,” he said.

“Worst kept secret in the paddock if you ask me,” said Bono, turning to you both, “Joking aside, I’m happy for you both.”

“Thank you, Bono,” you replied, wrapping your arm around him, “I’m happy too.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” the engineer said, “Toto, this girl is special, you’re a lucky guy.”

“Believe me, I know,” said Toto, beaming down at you.

Through the throng of people your Dad emerged, walking straight up to Toto and slapping his hand on his shoulder, “Well that was interesting, young man.” he said.

Toto looked a little embarrassed, “I hope you didn’t mind.”

“Not at all,” said your Dad, “If Y/N is happy, I’m happy. But you do need to come and meet my wife soon.”

“Dad…” you shot daggers at him, not wanting to make Toto uncomfortable.

“It would be a pleasure,” replied Toto. “Y/N is coming to Austria during the Winter break to meet my family so maybe we can come then too.”

“Perfect,” said your Dad, clapping his hands together and turning to you, “Your mother will be thrilled.”

Shaking your head, you couldn’t help but hope that this meant Toto was serious about your relationship. The casual comments about becoming his wife and the declarations of love pointed that way but you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“Great,” you replied, “We’ll come in December sometime then.”

“Check with your Mother though!” said your Dad, backtracking slightly.

“Always,” you said with a wink, knowing full well that she ran things in the house.

“Right, well I think we had better head off no?” said Toto, conscious that you had a plane to catch.

“Indeed, you said,” leaning towards your Dad to say goodbye and thank him for coming. It had been a great weekend all around, both professionally and personally. As he bid farewell to Toto you had a newfound respect for your charismatic boyfriend. Your father was not an easy man to win over and he’d done it in a matter of minutes.

In the hubbub of the garage, what you failed to notice was the same pair of eyes that had watched you on and Toto the river bank, this time angry.

[freshlypizza]

ik this is so basic but like any chance you could write npmd where max doesn't die? like maybe he's hurt but the group helps him and he eventually goes back to school? thanks!

This one isn't my best, and I'm so sorry for that. And I'm sorry for the long-ish wait aswell!

Happy holidays!

“I.. don't feel a pulse.”

“Pete, you're not checking the right place.”

Pete dropped his hand, and Richie pushed him out of the way. He placed two fingers just under the right of Max’s jaw.

“He's not dead, yet, he still has a pulse,” Richie sounded so relieved, “it's just very slow.”

“Shit, Steph call an ambulance,” Pete turned to her, she was already pulling her phone out.

They don't know how long they waited, but all five let go of the breath they were holding when they heard the sirens from outside. The paramedics ran down to the basement, lifted Max onto a stretcher and ran back out, leaving the nerds and Steph.

“Will he be okay?” Ruth's voice was small.

“He will be fine, Ruth,” Steph placed her hand on Ruth's shoulder, though it sounded more like she was trying to assure herself.

“And if he isn't,” Grace had four eyes turned on her immediately, “it's okay! It's all god's plan.”

Everyone, save Grace, groaned.

-

Two weeks after the accident was the big game. Hatchetfield vs Clivesdale.

Hatchetfield lost, tragically.

And everybody blamed it on Max’s absence.

Thank god nobody knew why exactly he was in the hospital.

Then, three months later, Max came back to the school. If Pete were to think about it, he probably should have been in the hospital for much longer considering his injuries.

The jock slammed his food tray onto the nerds’ lunch table. It made Pete, Richie and Ruth jump.

“Shit!” Pete hissed.

“What's up, dickwards,” Max slid into the seat next to Steph.

“Uh,” Ruth looked very confused, “hi?”

The jock took a hefty bite out of his cheese sandwich, making himself at home.

Peter stared at him, he didn't trust him. He was going to hurt his friends, Pete knew it. Grace, however, was almost drooling from her mouth and she practically had heart eyes.

“Max?” Steph finally broke the silence that went on for a little too long, “what the fuck are you doing?”

“Eating lunch?” He didn't bother wait to swallow his food before speaking, “the fuck does it look like?”

“Uh, yeah, we know,” Richie fidgeted, itching his arm, “but why are you here? With us?”

Max swallowed his last bit of bread, “because, Shit-lips, I can. Plus, we're friends now, right?”

“What?” Peter almost gave himself whiplash.

Max looked at him like he was dumb, “we are friends, you guys did something so nice for me.”

“We almost killed you,” Richie said quickly.

The jock shrugged, “I don't hold grudges.”

“What about that time in-”

“I don't hold grudges, Flemward!” Max hissed at the girl, who curled into herself.

“Right,” Pete pinched the bridge of his nose, “but you've also been bullying us since elementary, Max.”

“Oh, yeah. I was hoping you guys don't hold grudges either.”

“You've got to be kidding me,” Pete's entire face was in his hands now.

“Oh! Before I forget, again,” Max suddenly went really chipper, “I've got this ‘welcome back Max’ party this Friday, and was hoping if you five would wanna come?”

“My god-”

“We'd love to, Max!” Grace suddenly spoke up, making Richie, who was sitting next to her jump.

“Cool, cool, cool.” Max stood up, “see you nerds there then,” he walked to his usual table.

[pantherastevens]

His Sunshine in The Darkness: A Love Birthed From Blood

Bro, I'm not even going to hold y'all. Just writing this took a lot of me, I had to chuck this day by day. But finally, FINALLY, I present to you all Part 3 of His Sunshine in The Darkness.

Yandere!Miles42 still gives me extreme brainrot and I've been mentally jumping ahead to the part where Panthera finally finds out everything (that's part 4 and I haven't even started it yet. That part might be the shortest of them all and I'm still debating a Part 5). But I have to try to pace this out (not the greatest at it but I try).

Enough of my blabbering, on with the story!

Here are Parts 1 and 2 if you missed them.

Warnings: Blood, Death (Murder), Yandere tendancies (?), Suggestive themes (nothing crazy, I promise), Cursing

---------------------------------------

It all started on a chilly Friday in February. It was a week shy of Valentine's Day, and the school was abuzz about the upcoming holiday. Miles would roll his eyes about it as if he wasn't sporting a black eye due to a fight he got into yesterday over a cute purple and black panda plushie (he saw the stuffed animal first, damn it) to gift to Panthera on the holiday (amongst other things...)

The boy was minding his business in study hall, which was luckily the last class of the day, determined to finish his homework until his ears picked up a familiar name. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to find his two "homeboys" chatting.

"Aye, Andre, what do you think of that Panthera girl," Jamal asked. Andre, in return, raised a brow, noting the flustered look on his face.

"That weird, quiet girl from creative writing class? I mean, she aight, but she nothin' special," Andre said with a shrug. Miles felt his eye twitch at the clear dismissal of his girl. Jamal smacked his lips out of annoyance.

"You only sayin' that 'cause you prefer yo girls high maintenance 'nd shit," he scowled. Andre gave another shrug.

"So? Panthera's cute, but she ain't no bad bitch like Jasmine or Monique. Why you even asking about shorty anyway," Andre breezily asked. Miles could see the sheepish grin on Jamal's face and tighten the grip on his pencil.

"I'm thinking of asking baby girl to be my Valentine to be real..." Andre snorted.

"Be so fuckin' for real, bro. Weren't you talkin' to Beatrice just last week?" Jamal scoffed, shoving his friend.

"Nigga, shut the fuck up. I thought I was interested until I found out she was only talking to me to ask about Miles..." The Afro-Latino rolled his eyes. He knew who they were referring to and wouldn't touch the girl with a ten-foot pole. The girl thinks it's fun to collect niggas' hearts like Pokemon, and he's definitely not interested.

"So why Panthera? The girl is weird. Her hair looks like she's been without a retwist for two months, plus it makes her seem more like a nigga than a female. She barely interact with anyone outside of class. She speaks a weird language sometimes. She's named after a literal animal, for Christ's sake! Don't know what her parents were thinkin' when they named her. What about her seem to grab you by the balls, bruh?" Jamal, and Miles, gave Andre the evil eye.

"Mad disrespectful. I think her hair makes her unique. I know she takes care of it, or it wouldn't look as long and thick as it does. And her having locs doesn't make her look like a nigga. And I'm fine with quiet girls. That means she's not caught up in the rachet bullshit that goes on at school. She actually told me that it was the language of her grandfather from some African country. It's unique, which I think is pretty cool. And her name is pretty, don't be a dick. You might notice some really nice girls here if you stop letting these hoes come up in your face. I'm tryna find me a little boo, not someone to post flicks on the gram and then maybe lead into a one-night stand. Panthera could be the one for me." Miles was a smidge appreciative to hear Jamal come to Panthera's defense, but he still didn't like him.

He liked HIS girl. Miles can not let that slide.

"Tch, whatever you say. I can't help you with your lil crush, but I bet we know someone who can. Ayo, Miles!" Miles did his best to keep his face neutral as he turned to face his "friends."

"What's good," he said. Andre smirked, nodding to Jamal.

"Jamal here is thinking of asking Panthera to be his Valentine. You two are friends, right? Maybe you could help a brother out." 

"Joder no." Jamal and Andre blinked at the Afro-Latino.

"Uhhh, come again," Jamal asked. Miles shrugged.

"I said I don't know," he lied. Jamal's eyes pleaded with the boy.

"C'mon bro, is there anything you know she may like? I kinda wanna impress her..." Tawny brown eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Miles knows a lot of things that Panthera likes. 

Her favorite chocolate and ice cream were cookies and cream. Her top five favorite movies were "Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron," "Princess and the Frog," "Finding Forrester," "Dragon Ball Z: Cooler's Revenge" (and "The Return of Cooler"), and "Wall-E." Her favorite flowers were sunflowers, hibiscus, and roses. While she wasn't crazy about fashion, she loved some nice or cool-looking jewelry (as long as she could afford it). She loves art, finding comfort in her sketchbook or with her canvases. One of her treasured items was her iPod, filled with various playlists for her moods. Her two favorite games were Temple Run and Fruit Ninja. She loves basketball and can play the sport (his uncle had a good ass laugh watching her wipe the floor with Miles). She likes boxing and even helps Miles with his workouts. Her favorite colors were black, gold, silver, purple, green, and red. She loves canines and wild cats but has a soft spot for pandas. She loves to watch the sunset or the sunrise to watch the sky explode into a series of colors. She likes stargazing and getting lost in the vast night sky. 

Miles could write a book about her if he wanted to. But that information is for him and him alone.

"Maybe Miles doesn't want to tell you because he likes her himself," Andre said with a shit-eating grin. Jamal blinked before narrowing his eyes at the Afro-Latino.

Jamal didn't have anything against Miles. He felt bad for what happened to his dad and even attended the funeral. When greeting him, Miles' eyes seem thousands of miles away from here. He heard his heartfelt speech about his dad and how he felt sympathy for him when he was nothing but a wreck of tears. Of course, that same day, he saw Panthera. 

Now, it wasn't the first time he noticed her. But that day, it was impossible not to notice her. From her attire, her speech, the song she sang...

Jamal thought she was so beautiful. 

He saw Miles sought for her comfort during the service and even where they laid the Police Captain to rest. Jamal thought it was sweet for her to be there for the grieving boy.

That's when Jamal's crush really started. He was excited to share at least two classes with her that year: creative writing and music. 

And to be able to sit next to her in their creative writing class?

Jamal thought God was finally blessing him...

...only he could never get his mouth to work and talk to her. 

They only had a handful of conversations, and they were in February. Besides, calling them "conversations" was Jamal being generous. Unless Jamal could wriggle in some small talk (which Panthera didn't seem to be a fan of), their conversation would be strictly on the assignment given by the teacher. The boy tried talking to other girls to get his mind off the beauty, but it never worked. None of the girls were really into him like that, and a good majority were only using him to learn about Miles, which pissed him off more than he liked to admit.

What did Miles Morales have that he didn't? Yeah, he didn't have an accent or that effortless mysterious, bad-boy vibe Miles started giving off this year, but it's not like he was anyone special.

The one person he wanted to like him was being hoarded by the guy almost every girl in their grade wanted.

He can't take this shit anymore.

"Ain't no way Panthera would like him like that," Jamal huffed. Miles glared at him.

"What is that supposed to mean," Miles asked quietly, tawny brown eyes meeting near black ones. Jamal scoffed, his jealousy bubbling to a boiling point.

"You've known Panthera for how long 'nd you mean to tell me y'all still not togetha? She probably just pities yo sorry ass. You were the awkward kid mid-freshman year who she just happened to notice. 'Oh woe is me; I lost my daddy to gang violence.' Big fuckin' whoop, my guy. Ain't no way someone like her would ever like crybaby bitch like-ACK!" Jamal's rant was cut off by a sudden hand wrapped tightly around his throat. Fearful dark eyes met menacing light ones.

"Like what, bro," Miles asked quietly. The two boys were nose-to-nose in a silent stare-down. Miles could feel Jamal's pulse fluttering under his fingertips like a frightened caged bird. It made the darker side of him purr in delight.

"I-I..." Jamal couldn't get his words out. Even if Miles' hand wasn't wrapped around his windpipe, the dark promise in his eyes would've still rendered him mute. 

"Thought so. This is your only warning, Jackson: Don't let me catch your sorry ass talking to Panthera. You know nothing about our relationship and what she means to me," Miles mumbled, never taking his eyes off his prey. He moved his lips to Jamal's ear, whispering menacingly,

"Panthera's my girl. Always was and always will be. I'm not afraid of getting rid of anyone looking to come between me and her... and that's not just a threat. It's a fucking promise..." Miles shoved the boy away just as the bell rang, walking out of the still classroom without turning back. Still in shock over what happened, their classmates slowly filtered out of the room. Jamal gave a few ragged coughs, half-heartedly accepting Andre's help.

"Damn, he got you good," Andre mumbled as he held Jamal up. When he decided to be a little shit on purpose, he didn't expect Miles to lash the way he did. Miles wasn't going for a fight or anything, as if he knew the outcome.

Jamal shoved Andre back, irritated.

"Ion care what that nigga say, he thinks he big and bad and what he says goes. Nah, Imma try to see if I can ask Panthera out today just to show that fuck nigga he wrong," Jamal hissed, grabbing his bag. Andre stared after his friend with an eye roll, grabbing his stuff and jogging after him.

He wanted front-row seats to this, after all.

-----------------------

Panthera was shifting through her locker, grabbing the necessary materials for her homework, and placing the material she finished during her classes that day. The girl had her headphones on, humming along to a new song she discovered as she did this. Once she was sure she had everything, she shut her locker.

Only to jump at the sight of Jamal leaning on the locker next to hers. Panthera pulled her headphones off from her ears to rest around her neck.

"Hey, Jamal," Panthera greeted softly, her brows furrowed in confusion. Jamal willed his heart to calm down at the cute expression on his crush's face.

"Hey, beautiful," Jamal said with a flirty grin. He watched as Panthera's cute eyes grew a fraction wider.

"Bast, what happened to your neck?!" He let out a soft hiss when the light touch of Panthera's fingertips brushed against the rapidly forming bruises on his neck. He caught her hand with his, silently hoping his grin didn't transform into a grimace.

"Nothing you should worry your pretty little head about, but I appreciate the concern, sweetness. I got a question for you, though..." Panthera narrowed her eyes briefly, eyeing her hand in his, before meeting his gaze.

"...shoot," she said.

"You busy the night before Valentine's Day, princess? I would love to take you out on a date," Jamal said, feeling bold enough to kiss the palm of her hand.

Panthera blinked.

"You would love to do what now?" Jamal chuckled.

"I said-" Panthera shook her head.

"No, no... I heard you... I guess my real question is why. We barely speak outside of class."

'And that's on purpose...' she thought.

"I always admire you from afar. I'd figured now would be a good opportunity... so how 'bout it, baby girl?" Panthera sized up the boy for a few moments before shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Jamal, but I'm gonna have to decline. I don't see you like that," Panthera sighed, freeing her hand. Just as the girl was ready to walk away, she felt a hand grab her shoulder.

"C'mon ma, just one date, I promise," Jamal pleaded. Panthera let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Bast, give me strength... if it keeps you from following me home. Fine," Panthera huffed. Jamal gave her a boyish smile, hugging the girl. Panthera let out a confused squeak at the sudden action and was released.

"I promise you won't regret it, Panthera. Meet me at the flower garden near the park at 7, alright?" Panthera gave a nod, watching as Jamal walked up to his homeboy. She shook her head, turning on her heel to walk to the school entrance, only to run face-first into Miles' chest. A steady hand found the girl's waist to hold her up.

"Easy there, gatita..." A soft flush colored Panthera's cheeks at the soft rumble of Miles' voice.

"H-Hey Mi," she said, looking up into his eyes. Miles nuzzled her hair.

"I've been waiting for you. What was taking you so long," he mumbled against her forehead. Panthera let out a tired chuckle.

"Looks like I got a date with Jamal next week." Panthera had her face buried in his chest, which prevented her from seeing the dark smile on Miles' face before it faded into a softer one.

"You don't sound too excited about that," he teased. Panthera looked up at him with a pout.

"I'm kinda not, but I'm not trying to be followed home until I say yes." Miles smirked, gently bumping his nose with hers.

"Hey, if anything happens, you could always hit me up. You know I'll do everything possible to bring that beautiful smile onto that sweet face." Panthera giggled, playfully shoving him.

"Mi! Stop flirting with me. My damn face hurts!" Miles chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he and Panthera walked out of the school building. Miles sent a quick text as they walked before asking his little kitten about her day.

Elsewhere at a corner store, Jamal's phone buzzed with a new message. It was from an unknown number with a single phrase.

Unknown: Bet.

"Ayo, c'mon bro. You found everything," Andre asked. Jamal mentally shook his head, turning to his bro.

"Y-Yeah. Let's go."

-----------------------

It was the eve of Valentine's Day. The days flew by much quicker than Jamal anticipated, but he felt ready for tonight. 

It was 6:30 PM. Jamal sat on a marble bench in the middle of the flower garden. He was dressed in his freshly ironed white button-down shirt, the nicest jeans he owned, and his white Air Forces. He got a haircut yesterday, helping his newly twisted hair pop. A simple Cuban chain hung around his neck, and his nicest watch was on his wrist. He wore his favorite cologne for the finishing touch.

Beside him were a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a cute Valentine's stuffed bear, and a bouquet of purple and light pink roses.

'God, I hope she likes this. I really want her to like me... wait, what's that noise?' The sound of footsteps approaching caused his heart to quiver in excitement. A glance at his watch let the boy know it was 6:37. The young teen scrambled to his feet, holding the bouquet. Jamal could hear those footsteps getting closer, just about to round the corner to the space he was waiting.

He prepared his best smile to greet his date.

"Hey Panthera, you're ear-" The person standing in front of him wasn't Panthera.

Neon-purple lights lit up the garden surrounding them. The person wore a mechanical mask over their face, narrow white slits making up their eyes. Jamal noticed the spray-painted symbol on the person's chest and the sleek metal claw on their arm when the person's identity finally clicked in his mind.

"Y... You're the Prowler," Jamal whispered. A distorted, deep chuckle escaped the person's throat.

"You sound disappointed... expecting someone else," the Prowler asked rhetorically, approaching the frightened teen. Jamal tried to keep his distance as his mind raced.

Why was the Prowler here out of all places? Everyone knows about his reputation as a vigilante, though it was always wise to stay out of his way. Jamal picked a safe place when he planned this date; it didn't make sense for one of Brooklyn's notorious boogeymen to be here-

"Y-Yeah, actually... I-I have a date, so if you d-don't mind. S-she should be here soon..." The vigilante paused for a moment.

"Oh, I know..." Jamal's blood ran cold.

"Wha-ACK!" Before he could even ask what he meant by that, He felt the wind being knocked out of him. Jamal wasn't sure what was happening until searing hot pain shot through the boy's nervous system. Dark eyes looked down to find razor-sharp claws embedded in his abdomen. A firm, gloved hand gripped his jaw, focusing Jamal's teary and terrified gaze on the soulless white glare.

"W-Why," the boy whimpered, blood bubbling from his throat and spilling over his quivering lips. The Prowler didn't answer him, simply staring at Jamal.

Until the mask automatically pulled back. Jamal's lungs choked on his breath.

"M-Miles...?" The Afro-Latino smirked down at his "friend."

"I told you... Panthera's mine. I'm not afraid to take out those who try to take her away from me. Since you refused to listen..." Miles reactivated his mask, removing his claws from the gushing wound. He slowly trailed the bloody tips up the heaving chest before wrapping around the healing handprint he had left nearly a week ago.

"I'm just gonna have to make an example out of you. For anyone foolish enough to try come after what's mine." Jamal wanted to scream. Yell at the boy that he was crazy and that Panthera would never look at him the same way ever again if she found out. But before Jamal could utter a word, Miles swiftly broke his neck. 

Those white digital eyes watched as the light faded from those dark eyes before dropping the body. Miles grabbed his phone to check the time.

6:43.

Good. He had plenty of time to leave so he could clean up before Panthera would call him. Luckily, one of the hideouts he and his uncle used wasn't too far away. The young vigilante darted into the night, leaving his victim to bleed out in the garden alone.

-----------------------

It was 7:02, and Panthera had finally arrived at the flower garden entrance. She would be the first to admit she wasn't crazy eager for this date.

Mainly because she didn't see Jamal like that. But also because she had to deal with the headache of trying to find a nice outfit for the first real date in her life. When she got home from school last week, she immediately went online to find something to wear, already knowing she wasn't gonna find a real outfit in her closet.

It took her ages to find something she liked, seeing how most of the outfits showed too much for her liking. Like she would have to be careful if she needed to pick up something too much. 

But she found her ideal dress. She paired it with her silver angel wing necklace and matching earrings. She had delicate silver rings decorating her right hand. White gladiator sandals covered her feet to complete her look. For her hair, she opted for a half-up-half-down situation with a single loc in front to frame her face. She even went ahead to do a bit of makeup. Not much, since she wasn't looking to impress this boy. Just something light. Some brows, mascara, and some mauve-tinted lip oil.  

She liked the look she created, only wished she didn't go through all this effort for a guy who she barely looked at twice.

'Welp, at least I look cute for my first, and probably last, date of my life...' 

The girl shook her head at the fledging thought. Many people might deem her a "Negative Nancy," but she's calling it how she sees it. No dude at their school would look at her twice. She's heard the whispers and the jokes. 

"Would you sleep with Gabriella with no condom on... or go on a date with Panthera?"

"I rather risk catching something than be seen with a girl who is mistaken as nigga outside her uniform any day of the week."

If the girl wasn't secure about who she was as a person, those comments might have hurt her. From Panthera's point of view, those who say ignorant shit like that don't deserve her, and seeing the many sides that make up Panthera Stevens.

Only one guy thus far has seen her for who she is and hasn't shied away from her. And that's her best friend and ever-growing crush, Miles. 

When did those feelings start becoming apparent? If Panthera had to take a guess, it would be the night she kissed him. The domestic atmosphere never left the two, from her feeding him in the kitchen with his arms around her to watching the boy snuggle up against her, seeking her out in his sleep. 

Everything about that boy was just so endearing to her. Even as they started the school year and Miles gained more popularity amongst their classmates, especially the female population, he would still seek her out for moments of reprieve. 

He would always seek after her.

Panthera sighed as she walked through the garden, searching for the center.

If only he asked her out instead of Jamal. Panthera knew she could just come clean to him and see what happened, but damn it. She wanted to be courted.

According to her father, she would be a princess in the land of their ancestors. Was it wrong of her to want to be treated as such?

The girl sighed as the center of the garden came into sight. She was on a date with Jamal, not Miles. The very least she could do was try to give the boy a fair shot...

As she got closer, she immediately felt something was off. Firstly, there was no Jamal in sight. The garden was quiet except for the occasional chirp from the crickets. She double-checked her phone, noting that the time was 7:05. The boy should be here by now...

Cautiously, she explored a bit deeper, looking for anything amiss...

And then it hit her.

Just barely hidden under the natural perfume of the flowers was a sharp metallic smell. A smell Panthera was very familiar with.

Blood.

The girl froze, eyes narrowing as she tried to take in her surroundings to find anything amiss. Nothing. With a shaky hand, she reached into her bag to grab her phone. Jamal had input his number earlier that day so she could call or text him if she ran late or anything of the sort. The girl wasn't looking to use it, seeing how it meant the boy would have her number, but she had to call to see where he was.

Maybe to change the location of their meet-up. Something. Anything.

She hit the call button, bringing the phone to her ear as she heard the line ringing. Quickly, a phone rang to her right, a little beyond a bush. The girl prayed silently that the boy probably dropped his phone as she stepped along the stone pavement to where she could hear the phone ringing in time with her call.

Her heart stopped at what she saw.

The boy looked back at her with lifeless eyes as he lay in his own pool of blood. The roses he had bought were now stained red, along with the pavement underneath him. His neck was twisted in her direction, seeming broken as his lips were parted with a single streak of blood coming from the corner.

With numb fingers, she ended the call with Jamal and dialed 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Yes, hello... I-I... I would like to report a murder..."

-----------------------

Miles had just finished thoroughly cleaning his claws when his phone rang at 7:29. The boy smiled as he heard the sound of Juice WRLD's voice.

Panthera was calling him. 

He answered after the second ring, putting the phone on speaker as he got dressed.

"Hey, gatita. How's your date," he greeted. He could hear the sound of police sirens and people talking in the background.

"M-Miles... can... can you come and get me, please? S-Something happened..." The boy expected the tremor in his little beloved's voice, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt his heart to hear it.

"Of course, Panthera. Where are you now," he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"T-The garden... by the p-park..." Confirming that he'll be there in a few minutes, he hung up. Grabbing his jacket and slipping on his Jordans, Miles was out the door.

-----------------------

Panthera sat a little ways away from the crime scene, knee anxiously bouncing. The girl knew this was a common occurrence in their city, but she seriously wasn't expecting this.

After the police took her statement, they pretty much left her alone. That's when the girl called Miles, not feeling mentally sound to be alone. Her stiff posture finally relaxed when she felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her.

"Hey, gatita," Miles softly said as the girl curled against his chest. He allowed her to use him to find the comfort she sought, rubbing her back soothingly.

"He's dead," Panthera said flatly as she clung to her best friend. Miles looked down at her, "rightfully," confused by what she meant.

"Jamal... he... he's dead... I found his body," Panthera mumbled. Miles squeezed her closer, kissing her forehead. He could feel the tension ease out of her body as he held her.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Panthera..." Panthera pulled back to find worried tawny eyes staring back at her.

"Can... can I go home with you? Baba isn't gonna be home for a few days... and I don't wanna be by myself..." A kind smile spread on Miles' face.

"Of course, muñeca. As a matter of fact, let's make a date," Miles suggested as he pulled her up to stand alongside him. He chuckled at the confused look on his little kitten's face.

"C'mon, Panthera, let me bring that beautiful smile onto that gorgeous face like I promised. You went through hell tonight. It's the least I could do. Especially when you look so beautiful in your new pretty dress," Miles coaxed, tugging the girl closer by the waist. He watched in mild amusement as she hid her cheeks behind her hands, looking away from him.

"Okay, okay, you flirty menace. Take me somewhere," Panthera relented. Miles smiled, kissing her hand as he tugged her away from the crime scene.

Just as Miles planned.

-----------------------

It was 9:10, and the pair sat on the rooftop of Miles' apartment. To Panthera's pleasant surprise, Miles had ordered from her favorite restaurant, making sure to get her usual order of a full rack of baby back ribs, lemon pepper fries, and mashed potatoes, and arranged for them to have a little candle-lit dinner in the familiar warm atmosphere of his home. Miles refused to stop complimenting the girl, watching on fondly as the girl blushed and giggled at his comments.

After eating, the pair made their way to the rooftop, where they chatted and gazed out their city.

"You really have no right being this beautiful, muñeca. I could bask in your beauty forever," Miles murmured lovingly as he traced small hearts on Panthera's shoulder. The girl flushed, fidgeting with one of the rings on her hand.

"Miiiiiii, stop," the girl whined, the heat in her face making the girl lightheaded. A light chuckle brushed against her eardrum, eliciting a small shiver. Miles leaned in to kiss a warm cheek, wrapping his arms around his girl.

"Nah, you're too cute when you blush," he teased. Panthera slapped his chest in retaliation, but there wasn't a lot of force for it to hurt. Miles chuckled, taking ahold of her hand as he stood up. Panthera's confused gaze was met with a boyish grin.

"Dance with me, gatita," Miles whispered, tugging her closer. Panthera gave him a shy smile.

"Okay... what song do you have in mind," she asked. Miles whipped out his phone in a quick, decisive fashion, quickly going through his playlist before finding the song he wanted and cranking the volume up.

Panthera felt her face flush more as she recognized the beat. It was the ringtone Miles had set for her, but she never heard it longer than a few seconds. As she wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist, she listened to the lyrics.

"...Really think I found my home,

Shorty make me feel at home...

She made me leave the thrills at home,

And I'm fine with it..."

"This is a nice song. I love it," Panthera whispered, looking into those tawny brown eyes that always seemed to hold a special kind of warmth for just her. Miles rested his forehead against Panthera's, content with drowning in her dark eyes and the lyrics.

"I'm glad. It's how I see you," Miles whispered, watching Panthera's eyes flutter with an innocent blink, the same one she does whenever she's confused or curious. 

"There's love at my front door, short notice,

You're not like the same girls I notice...

Think I met my soul mate,

Yeah, I know it...

When it gets dark outside,

In you I confide...

You help me face my demons,

I won't hide, hide...

Girls like you are hard to find,

I hope you don't mind...

If I give you the time of your life, life, life..."

"Miles..." "Shhh... just be with me in this moment, hermosa..."

As the song continued the play, the pair continued to dance on the rooftop. The boy couldn't take his eyes off the beauty in his arms, often twirling her under his arm to get that sweet smile he oh-so-loved. Miles loved how Panthera fitted in his arms. 

How right it felt to hold her in such a way. 

It felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

Deep down in his heart, he knew he had found his soulmate, his other half, his person.

"...Now that you're here,

I want nothing to change...

You pick me up when I'm down,

I need you around...

You seen me through my darkest times,

Girl, is there something that you try to find?

You brought meaning to my life,

All because of you, I do right..."

Panthera found herself in a trance. She could only acknowledge those brown eyes staring into her soul and the prancing of her heart. 

With the song filling the space between them and her being wrapped in the loving warmth of Miles' arms...

Panthera felt like she was home.

"...We're just two lost souls,

But we're fine with it..."

With the last lyric fading into the beat of the song, the pair stood in place, swaying gently. 

"Panthera?" Dark eyes fluttered open to find a lighter pair staring at her. She smiled.

"Yes?" Miles felt his knees weaken a bit, the weight in his pant pocket becoming more apparent.

"There's something I wanna ask you," Miles said slowly, pulling away a bit to hold both her hands in his. Panthera's brows pinched closer together as she gave a slow nod. Miles took a deep breath.

"I always looked back at freshmen year fondly. Being a new kid during the middle of the school year wasn't something I was happy about, especially since I managed to crush on a super pretty girl in several of my classes, and I had no idea how to approach her. But she turned out to be much bolder than I could ever be and sat next to me in art class to ask if we could be friends. Her smile reminded me of the sun; I just wanted to stay in its warmth forever. Our friendship was something I would always cherish because she always saw me for me and wanted me just as I was. My parents loved her to the point that they saw her as a daughter. My uncle had basically adopted her years ago and was ecstatic to have her back in his life again. She brought something special to my life..." Panthera could feel her heart thundering in her chest. The heat from her cheeks chased away the chill of the cool night air.

But she didn't dare take her eyes off the boy standing before her.

"Even during my life's darkest point, she shone bright as the sun. Wrapping me in the warmth of her loving arms, smile, and heart. She never left my side. Before papá died, he... he told me how she would be good for me. That she would take care of my heart the same way mamá did his; he would've loved to see the two of us get together. I already know mamá y tio having been dying for us to get together... and to be honest, gatita... I've been wanting to ask you this for a long time. Ever since the night of my dad's party, when we both said we loved each other..." Panthera watched with bated breath as Miles lowered himself on a single knee. He released one of her hands to grab the black box in his pocket.

"Panthera Genesis Stevens, I've had a crush on you even before our first conversation, which only grew with each day I've spent with you. While I always loved you as a friend, I knew my heart saw you as something more. The night of the party, I wasn't confessing my love as a friend but as someone who dreamt about being called yours, where I could show off that I had the heart of a literal angel in my possession. I would love nothing more than to shower you with love, affection, respect, comradery, protection, devotion, and dedication every day for the rest of our lives. That one day, I'll find myself in this very position again to ask you to become my Mrs. Morales. Where one day, we'll wear matching rings and be known as husband and wife. But for now, I ask you this... Panthera, mi vida, mi ángel, la reina de mi corazon, will you be my girlfriend?" Miles slowly opened the box, revealing the ring inside.

Panthera stared at the boy with teary eyes, her free hand holding an overheated cheek. But Miles could see the happiness in her sparkling eyes and her smile.

"Yes, Miles... I would love to become your girlfriend..." The stars couldn't rival the brightness in the boy's smile. Unable to contain himself, he quickly stood up, picking up the girl to spin her around. Panthera's joyful laughter was music to his ears.

"MI! I'm getting dizzy," she shrieked, clinging to the boy. Miles chuckled, slowing them to a stop before setting her down. Miles took ahold of her left hand with a smile, slipping the ring onto her ring finger. He watched fondly at his girlfriend's cute expression of awe.

"It's so beautiful," she murmured, lightly trancing over their names. Miles grinned, tilting her chin up so she could meet his gaze.

"Anything for you, mami," he said, squeezing her close. Panthera gave him a shy smile, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Kiss me, Papi," she asked. Miles inhaled sharply. His hands found her waist, squeezing down briefly.

'Mio dio...'

"Ask me again, gatita," Miles whispered, his tone reminded Panthera of a man starved. Their lips were just an inch apart, teasing the both of them, but they knew that Miles wasn't gonna close the distance until she asked. A canine tooth wore down on the glossy bottom lip as one small hand slithered down the boy's neck to rest over his erratic heart.

"Please, Miles... kiss me..." Who was Miles Morales to deny such a pretty, pretty plea?

Their first kiss was only witnessed by the celestial bodies from up above.

It was the start of something beautiful...

...and the birth of something deadly.

-----------------------

"Miles?" It was the next week. Valentine's Day weekend was a weekend Panthera would never forget. Miles had spent the weekend at her place, and the two spent the next two days inside, per Panthera's request. And boy, was she spoiled.

Her favorite chocolate? Miles got it.

The cute purple and black stuffed panda she named Milo in honor of her new boyfriend? Miles bought it (and fought for it, she came to find out).

Her favorite flowers sitting in a pretty vase in her room? Miles.

Her feet hurt? She would find her feet propped up on her boyfriend's lap, his steady hands working out the tense soles.

She wanted to watch one of her favorite movies? She would find herself lying on Miles' chest under a blanket with the said movie playing on the screen.

She wanted a scalp massage? Her boyfriend's gentle fingers would massage circles throughout the roots of her locs.

She was craving something? Miles already got a delivery app open.

Those were just a few examples. Panthera truly enjoyed herself (and enjoyed covering a lovesick Miles in kisses).

It was now Monday morning, and Panthera was just about to leave to head to school when she opened her door to find Miles standing on the other side, hand raised to knock.

"Good morning, gatita," Miles purred, kissing his girl's cheek. Panthera blushed, playfully pushing the boy away.

"It's too early for you to make me blush like this. What are you doing here," she chuckled. Miles cocked his head at her.

"I'm here to pick up my wife so we can walk to school together." Panthera would deny the deepening blush if you asked her. Miles laughed when the girl smacked his shoulder.

"Mi! What did I just say?!" Miles raised his hands in surrender despite the mischievous glint in his eyes. When he kissed Panthera's lips, he wasn't pushed away.

"Sorry, gatita," he said, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist. As much as Panthera tried, she couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Fine, I forgive you. And good morning to you too, handsome," she said, nuzzling his chest.

"Ready to go," he asked. The girl nodded, locking the door before the pair headed to school.

The walk was peaceful enough, and when they got to school, they arrived early enough to where there weren't a lot of people there. Which Panthera was grateful for, knowing the day was going to be a tense one.

Someone literally died. And she was the one who found his body.

Plus, she got into a relationship with her best friend/crush literally that same night? With his promise ring on her finger?

Yeah, she knows she's about to be a hot topic for a while...

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours," Miles mumbled in her ear. The young couple was sitting on one of the many benches that could be found in the school's courtyard. Miles, ever the needy one, had the girl in his lap. Panthera fiddled with her ring.

"Just all the attention I'm about to get today... I'm not looking forward to it," she weakly chuckled. Miles tilted her head towards him so she could look into his eyes.

"Try not to stress over it, mi amor. Remember, I'm with you, Panthera. Always..." The girl smiled, kissing her boyfriend's cheek.

"Thank you, sithandwa sam..."

-----------------------

When the school day officially started, and just as Panthera expected, everyone was staring at her. And they were nowhere near subtle about it. Her keen ears could pick their whispers.

'...she was suppose to go out with him that night...'

'...she found his body...'

'...where did she get that ring...'

The situation wasn't much better when Miles picked her up from her math class to go to art together. The kiss on her cheek was enough to enrage the female population of their grade.

If Panthera didn't love him, she probably would've killed him for that stunt. Because now every girl in her classes was giving her the evil eye.

She's just trying to exist. Is that too much to ask for?

"Hey, Panthera." The answer was yes; it was too much to ask for.

Trying to keep the annoyed look off her face, Panthera looked up from her textbook to find Beatrice James looking down at her.

Beatrice was a rather pretty girl: sun-kissed golden skin, cloudy gray eyes, long black curly hair. She was only taller than Panthera by two inches, but she always found a way to look down at the quiet girl.

It wasn't a surprise to find Beatrice in front of her. While Panthera wasn't in drama, she certainly heard about it. So, she was well aware that the girl demanding her attention wasn't pleased about her relationship status change with Miles.

"Good afternoon, Beatrice. How can I help you," Panthera replied monotonelessly. Beatrice placed her manicured hands on either side of Panthera's desk, leaning into the girl's space.

"Don't play coy with me, Stevens. Is it true?" Panthera simply raised a brow at the girl's attempt to look menacing.

The girl literally had death stare at her dead in the face. Besides, if Beatrice were to put her hands on her, Panthera's hands were rated E for Everyone. She was trained to fight, even trained to kill if necessary. If this girl thought she could scare her, she clearly doesn't know Panthera well.

"Gonna have to be a little more specific in what you're referring to," she drawled. She did her best to suppress a smirk at the subtle twitch in Beatrice's left eye.

"Are. You. Dating. Miles." The girl was practically spitting venom at this point. Not that Panthera was particularly concerned or anything: quite the opposite, matter of fact. Something about having the guy that was unattainable to others was a bit of a power trip. While she knew wearing the promise ring was a recipe for trouble... she was proud of her relationship with Miles. She belonged to him just as much as he belonged to her.

"Why? Looking to get an invite to the wedding," Panthera taunted. Beatrice's face steadily turned red; if they were in a cartoon setting, Panthera was 100% sure that steam would be coming from her ears.

"You little-" Beatrice was suddenly cut off by Panthera's hand suddenly thrust in her face. Her ring-cladded hand.

She could clearly make out Miles and Panthera's names engraved on the metal, their birthstone sparkling in her face. 

"Does this answer your pointless question?" 'Oh, this bitch...'

Panthera yelped when she pulled out of her seat, feeling the slight burn sensation erupt on her cheek.

'Oh, is that what we're doing? Bet, hoe.'

Panthera growled, the sound a little more animalistic than human. It was enough to give Beatrice pause and give Panthera the opening to return the favor with a punch to the nose. The satisfying feeling of bone meeting bone made Panthera smirk.

"You bitch," she shrieked, going to scratch Panthera's face again. Two small hands wrapped Beatrice's wrists, grip ironclad. Panthera yanked her towards her, her knee connecting to Beatrice's stomach. Beatrice doubled over with a pained gasp. The girl didn't have time to react before Panthera grabbed her arm and flipped her on her back, her head hitting the floor hard.

Panthera glared down at the girl; blood trickled down her cheek. The girl pressed a foot against Beatrice's chest, looming over the dazed girl.

"I'm not some doormat for you to walk over, Bea. I suggest you learn that," Panthera said softly. Beatrice, stunned, didn't utter a word. Panthera finally tuned in, hearing the teacher yelling at her to get off the "poor girl" and go to the front office. The girl simply rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag and walking out. 

She suspected that she was probably gonna get suspended or something. Visions didn't tolerate fighting on school grounds, no matter the reason. Not like Panthera cared; she was ahead of her classwork.

Beatrice was sent to the nurse before being sent to the office. Panthera was glaring sightlessly as she was being reprimanded, her eyes only narrowing when she caught sight of Beatrice. Said girl shivered at the cold look in those dark eyes, opting to sit two seats away from the obvious predator in the room. Panthera fought back a smirk while listening to the principal drone on about her punishment. Her dad was "out of town," but he put her umalume as an emergency contact just in case anything happened to her. So he was called in for a quick conference, and she would go home with him.

Less than thirty minutes later, Aaron appeared in the office. Panthera couldn't help but smile at the sight of him.

"Umalume!" The man stumbled back a step when Panthera rammed into him, her arms coming around his waist as she nuzzled his chest. The older man chuckled, squeezing the girl briefly.

"Mr. Davis." The older man made eye contact with the principal with a raised brow. The man didn't partially care for Mrs. Manson until today. He was a bit confused when he received a call from the school. At first, he thought it was about Miles, which to him would still be strange because if the boy were to get into trouble (if he wanted to risk the chance of the wrath of the infamous chancla), they would've reached out to Rio first. 

But no, it was about his little niece.

Hearing that Panthera got into a fight struck the man as odd. As far as he can recall, Panthera was a rather passive individual. He knew Eric taught the girl how to fight; that man was adamant about his little girl's safety. But he knew that knowledge was supposed to be used to protect herself. 

He knew his little cub wouldn't get into a fight for shits and giggles.

"Mrs. Manson," he greeted curtly. 

"Mr. Davis, since you're Ms. Stevens' emergency contact, I hope you'll pass this along to her father when you can. Ms. Stevens will be suspended externally for a week for fighting and injuring Ms. James." Aaron balked at the woman before training his eyes on the other girl in the room. He could see the bandage over the girl's nose and the ice pack she was holding to her head.

"Ms. James sustained bruises on her stomach and back as well as a broken nose and swelling to the back of her head," Mrs. Manson informed. Aaron looked down at Panthera, finding deep scratches on her left cheek. The man narrowed his eyes at the dried blood.

"Any reason why you didn't send my niece to get her cheek bandaged," he drawled, his voice rough around the edges. Mrs. Manson didn't miss a beat.

"Panthera is a big girl, she could handle a small scratch-"

"Nah, you see, that's where you lost me. Those nails on that other girl are literal weapons. Matter fact, who struck who first," Aaron laughed mirthlessly.

"I don't see how that's relevant-"

"Lady, I'm giving you a second chance to answer my question. Don't expect a third." The older woman looked at Aaron with slight unease, eyes quickly scanning him for any possible weapons. She cleared her throat.

"It was Ms. James-"

"And how long is she suspended for?" Mrs.  Manson did her best not to wither under the sharp gaze of Aaron Davis.

"Three days internal suspension-"

"Enough said. Fine, suspend my niece over a petty fight that she didn't even start and got no treatment for while this little girl gets coddled because her daddy got money to fund this place. Panthera, let's go." The girl already had her bag in hand, following the man out the door.

"The nerve of that wrinkly, heartless white bitch, the fuckin' favoritism in this damn place is disgusting. I'm gonna need a fuckin' smoke after that," Aaron grumbled angrily, speed-walking off the school hallways.

"Umalume! Slow down! My legs aren't as long as yours!" Aaron paused, remembering about his little niece. He turned to embrace the girl once she caught up, taking her by surprise.

"Umalume?"

"Sorry, lil cub. You didn't deserve to be caught up in some bullshit by some nigga's spoiled brat that led you to get kicked out temporarily..." Panthera noted the sad look in her uncle's eyes before nuzzling him.

"It's alright, umalume. I expected today to be eventful... but it's okay! I'm still ahead of my classes, and I have some extra days off from school... that is, if I'm not in trouble..." Aaron chuckled, squeezing the small girl.

"Of course not. I know how you are and how your ol' man raised ya. Whatever that girl did mostly deserved it. Matter fact, what did she do?" Panthera nibbled on her lip.

She and Miles had planned to tell Aaron and Rio about their newfound relationship... just not like this.

Just before she could answer, her stomach grumbled loudly. Aaron raised an amused brow.

"Didn't have lunch yet," she mumbled. She always got hungry at least an hour before lunchtime. Aaron laughed, throwing an arm around the girl's shoulders as they walked off to where he parked his motorcycle.

"C'mon then. Let's clean up that wound, and then we can talk this over some burgers and milkshakes. My treat."

-----------------------

Miles was sitting in the cafeteria with some of his "homeboys" with a bored look on his face. He actually got there first in hopes of him and Panthera sitting together, but the guys found him first. He was half listening to what they were saying, something about Jamal's death and other random shit he didn't care for, all while looking for his precious girlfriend.

But the girl was nowhere in sight. He glanced at his phone, finding no new messages from her, and let out an irritated sigh. It wasn't like his precious gatita to ignore him...

"Yo, ain't that Beatrice walking up to us? She looks like hell," Kieran whistled. Logan chuckled.

"Haven't you heard? She got her ass beat by one of the girls last period. That one chick with the dreads. She was supposed to go out with Jamal the night he died, forgot her name..." That got Miles' attention.

"Panthera," he offered, finally turning his attention to the group.

"Yeah, her! Actually, it had to do with her relationship with-"

"Hey Miles~" 'Oh for fuck sake...'

"I'm a little busy, Beatrice," Miles said with a dismissive wave. The girl narrowed her eyes.

"But Milesssss, I need to talk to you! It's important," she whined, leaning dramatically on his shoulder. Miles could feel his eye twitch at the contact, shrugging the girl off.

"I said I'm busy-"

"Busy talking about that brute you call a girlfriend?" Miles froze before slowly turning his head to face the girl.

"Excuse me," he said. He finally took note of the girl's bandaged nose and slightly disheveled appearance. He could slightly see the change of colors peeking out of the bandage.

"Panthera's your girlfriend, isn't she," she asked rhetorically. The other boys focused on the duo, silently eager for more details.

"Damn straight she is, but she's no brute," Miles scoffed. Beatrice pouted.

"She nearly cracked my skull in the middle of class! All because I asked if you two were dating. It's not a good look for you to be with such a loose cannon, Miles. Especially with her seemingly violent family." Tawny brown eyes glared into gray ones.

"First of all, Panthera would never fight anybody without someone giving her a reason to, so I already know you're bullshitting me on a few details there. Second of all, what the fuck do you mean by that," Miles asked, his accent becoming thicker the angrier he got. Beatrice continued to try to play into her innocent act.

"The principal called her uncle into the office to let him know that Panthera has external suspension and she's supposed to be sent home immediately. The man looked as if he was gonna murder Mrs. Manson! He had the nerve to defend Panthera as if she didn't beat me up so viciously. My stomach and back are gonna be bruised for weeks!"

Panthera's uncle... Uncle Aaron.

So, not only is she talking shit about his girl, but she talking about his uncle too?

Miles chuckled. Everyone at the table looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Yo bro, what about that is funny? Beatrice got hurt, and Mrs. Manson was threatened," Logan asked, slightly unnerved. 

"So you expect me to fully believe in a girl who basically used other guys as she pleased and wanted me to be her next conquest over a girl I've known ever since I came to this damn school? You want me to believe a girl who is talking shit about my girlfriend but my uncle too? Are you so fucking serious?" Everyone blinked.

"You're dating your cousin or something," Andre asked after being silent most of this time. Miles stared at him blankly.

"No, cabrón. My uncle knew Panthera and her dad ever since they moved to Brooklyn. He's basically an uncle figure to her. My uncle is my dad's brother. As for you-" Miles returned his gaze to Beatrice, who looked a little shocked.

"Hop off my dick and find another to ride. I don't like you and will never like you, perra de dos caras. You already managed to get my baby suspended and disrespected her and my uncle. Lo juro por Dios, if I hear you continue to start some shit about her-" Miles paused, forcing himself to breathe. He simply glared at the group and walked off.

He had a phone call to make...

-----------------------

"IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!" Forget the cigarette; this was the best news Aaron had heard all day.

"Umalume! Not so loud," Panthera scolded as a few patrons turned to look in their direction, though the effect was lost thanks to her flushed face. Aaron playfully cooed, pinching one of her cheeks.

"D'awww, no need to be shy, little cub. I'm just happy for two of my favorite people," Aaron chuckled. Panthera swatted his hand away, looking away bashfully.

"You said my nephew bought you a ring? Lemme see the bling, girl!" Holding out her left hand, Panthera allowed the older man to inspect the metal band on her finger. Aaron whistled in appreciation.

"On the left ring finger, too, haha. Panthera, you sure Miles asked you to be his girlfriend and not his fiancée?" The older man cackled when his niece smacked his arm, her blush worsening.

"You're horrible," she said with a pout. Panthera took a sip of her milkshake in a futile attempt to help her cool down as she waited for Aaron to pull himself together.

Miles wasn't kidding when he said Aaron would be eager to hear they were finally together. She could only imagine how Rio would react...

"You can't blame me for my reaction, lil cub. Do you know how down bad my nephew has been for you? I swear that boy had heart eyes every time he saw you. Jeff, Rio, and I have been dying, waiting for you guys to finally come clean to each other and tell us the good news." Panthera's eyes softened as Aaron mentioned Jefferson. It's been months since he passed, and to think on his death bed, he basically gave Miles his blessings for a potential relationship with her filled the girl's heart with warmth.

"Well, now I know, thanks," she grumbled. Aaron smiled good-naturedly at her, taking a bite out of his burger.

"Soooooo, how long have you guys been together," he asked. Panthera took her time nibbling on her fry.

"Not long, just a few days... I was actually supposed to be on a date with someone else when Miles asked me..." The raised brow silently prompted the girl to elaborate.

"His name was Jamal, Jamal Jackson. He and I had creative writing and music class together. Almost a week before Valentine's Day, he asked me out the night before Valentine's. At first, I told him no since I didn't see him like that, but he was very persistent. So I said yes... the night I was supposed to go out with him..." Aaron frowned, not liking the nervous expression on Panthera's face.

"What? Fool stood you up or something," he asked as he casually sipped his shake. If her answer was yes, then he clearly had another person on his shit list-

"He was murdered." Aaron blinked. Once. Then twice. And then...

"He was what?" Panthera sighed.

"He was murdered, umalume. I found his dead body. He... he had claw marks in his abdomen, and his neck was broken..." A frown tugged on his lips.

'Claw marks, huh?'

"I'm sorry you had to witness that, lil cub... you okay?" Panthera gave him a weak smile.

"I'm fine, umalume. After I called 911 and the police took my statement, I called Miles, and he took me on a date to take my mind off it. He asked me to be his girlfriend on the rooftop of his apartment." Aaron nodded.

"At least something good came out of it. I'm just gonna take a wild shot in the dark and guess that your fight with that James girl was over your relationship with my nephew." Panthera scoffed.

"Yeah..." Another person on his shit list next to Mrs. Manson.

"No need to pay that crazy little girl any mind, lil cub. I know that Miles loves you more than life itself. That boy is not going anywhere-" Aaron was interrupted by Panthera's ringing from a FaceTime call. Aaron didn't recognize the artist by a long shot, but just by the small snippet, it definitely fits his nephew's cheesy, lovey-dovey nature.

Panthera blushed, silently telling him to shut up with a glare before answering the FaceTime call.

"Mamiiiiii," Miles whined. Panthera hid her smile behind a hand, doing her best not to laugh.

"Hey there, Papi," she cooed, snickering at the pout on the boy's usual passive face.

"Don't you 'hey there, Papi' me. Why you ain't tell me you're not in school anymore? Left me all by my lonesome with this bum ass niggas and clingy ass hoes," Miles pouted. The boy was looking forward to holding his girlfriend while she sat in his lap while he stole some kisses. Only to find out he's gonna be without her for a whole fucking week, the boy pissed-

"Not like I had time between getting suspended and getting lunch with umalume. He knew better not to let me go hungry," Panthera sassed. Both males knew how scary or cold the girl could get when she didn't eat.

"Fair- wait a damn minute... what happened to your cheek," Miles asked with narrowed eyes. Panthera let out a nervous laugh.

"Nothing, just a small scratch," she tried to wave it off, but Aaron wasn't having it. Kissing his teeth, he snatched the girl's phone. Miles regarded his uncle with a raised brow.

"Tío?" Aaron used one hand to hold Panthera's wrists so she couldn't get her phone back as he answered his nephew's unspoken question.

"Yo Miles, you know some girl by the last name James? Lightskin, dark curly hair, gray eyes, with some long ass nails that might as well be literal weapons. 'Cause apparently, she was bold enough to use them on Panthera," Aaron asked. Miles blinked at his uncle before letting out a curse.

"That two-timing spoiled bit-"

"Miles, focus." The boy took a breath to cool down his anger.

"Yeah, I do, unfortunately. The puta had the nerve to come up to me during class pretending to "look out for my well-being" by telling me that Panthera's a loose cannon and a brute and how "dangerous" her family could be to me." Aaron raised a brow.

"What was that last comment supposed to mean?" Miles shrugged.

"Something about you condoning Panthera's violent behavior and threatening the principal." Aaron chuckled. Miles knew that chuckle and smirked.

"Ah, so little Ms. James is an actress, okay then. And that old hoe was testing my patience. That little girl had a lesser punishment despite starting this mess first." Miles froze, eyes narrowing.

Panthera frowned, deciding she was done hearing about the two women who seemed to have it out for her.

"Can we change the subject? And can I have my hands back, umalume?" Aaron chuckled, releasing her wrists with a smirk.

"Sooooo... a little birdy told me you off the market, Miles," Aaron started. Miles groaned.

"Mio dio, tío. Don't start." Aaron laughed.

"Oh boy, just wait 'til your mother hears about this. She gonna end throwing a party in y'all's honor."

"Umalume!"

"Tío!"

-----------------------

Needless to say, after school, when everyone was in the Morales' residence, Rio was told the news.

At least more than half the neighbors heard her shout of joy—much to Panthera and Miles' fond embarrassment.

-----------------------

Beatrice was pissed. Livid. Utterly incensed.

Despite getting rid of her rival for a week and smearing Panthera's name for all it was worth (which, according to Beatrice, wasn't worth much), she still didn't have the boy she wanted. 

Beatrice would be the first to admit that she wasn't looking at Miles Morales twice in the beginning. He seemed to be like the quiet nerd. A cute one, but still not someone she would really give the time of day to.

Then, junior year started, and Miles returned as a changed person.

He had grown a couple more inches since she last saw him during the summer from the funeral. He lost the rest of the baby fat that lingered on his cheeks from their sophomore year. He buffed up a bit, not crazily so, but his lithe form had more muscle than what she remembered. His accent was much more pronounced. He seemed to lose that shy nerd vibe and took on what could be a bad-boy vibe.

Miles Morales became the most desirable boy in their grade, and Beatrice wanted him. She would flirt with any boy she saw hanging around him for more than a week in hopes of gaining some intel on Miles' type.

That turned out to be much more difficult to gain. Miles doesn't talk about his personal interests with the boys, and he gives no real reaction to girls who flirt with him. Beatrice briefly entertained the idea that he might be closeted because how come some of the prettiest girls in their class only get a blank stare and single-word responses from the boy while others would break their necks and ankles to look and chase them?

Then she thought that maybe Miles could possibly have a girlfriend. It almost sounded just crazy as the gay theory because Beatrice had never seen him interact with another girl like that.

Or so she thought.

She finally remembered Panthera Stevens when she saw her and Miles walking to one of their classes together. She remembered always seeing them together in the halls when Miles first got transferred to Visions Academy. She was Miles's first and perhaps the only friend for a long time. The sight of them together now shouldn't have struck her as unusual, but it did. The boy was holding one of her books and was smiling at her—and not just any smile.

It was one of those "Damn, I love her" smiles. One of those "I'm down bad" smiles. One of those "Where have you been all my life" smiles.

At first, Beatrice thought she was reading too deep into it. Panthera was... well... unique. And she didn't mean that in a nice way.

There was nothing eye-catching about the girl's appearance per se. She had regular dark brown eyes, dark skin, and wore her hair in locs. The girl stuck out because she was so plain-looking. Seeing her wear makeup to school or even having her nails done was incredibly rare. Plus, she was one of the only girls who would even wear her natural hair. 

What did Miles see in her that he didn't see in any of them?

Beatrice couldn't wrap her head around it, which pissed her off.

And apparently, Miles wasn't the only one. Jamal Jackson seemed to harbor a crush on the quiet girl and even went as far as to ask her out. It was like a miracle because finally, someone could get the one obstacle to Miles out of the way, and one of the girls, preferably Beatrice, could get with Miles.

The day for their date came...

Panthera found Jamal's body.

And now a promise ring could be found on Panthera's ring finger, with Miles' name on the metal band.

Panthera Stevens became a hot topic overnight, and Beatrice has had it. She wanted to ruin the girl. 

So she started a little rumor that Panthera killed Jamal so she could be with Miles; no other guy was feeling Panthera in the first place. Why would anyone date a murderer?

Now Beatrice doesn't really know if Panthera killed Jamal or not, but if people choose to believe it, who was she to correct them?

This should appall Miles so much that he had to break up with her.

Only... it didn't pan out that way.

It was Friday, and the murder was all anyone could talk about. A lot of people thought it made sense. With word about Panthera's fight with Beatrice and her (and Miles, shockingly) uncle's not-so-subtle threat to Mrs. Manson already circulating, it added some "validity" to the rumor. Beatrice couldn't help but feel pleased with herself. When Panthera returned next week on Monday, she would virtually become an outcast in their class. The attention of it all would eventually be too much for Miles, and he'll break up with her.

And Beatrice would be right there, ready to console him.

To celebrate, Beatrice went out with some of her friends for a night out.

The girls went out for a night of dancing and flirting with a few older dudes. Beatrice may have had a drink or two, but that was no one's business but her own. The girl called a car service to take her home safely since walking in the devil's playground at night while tipsy might as well be a death sentence. Beatrice called one of her friends, Jasmine, to let her know she got home safely. As the girl was chopping it up on the phone and fumbling around in her mini purse for her keys, she had no idea that white digital eyes were watching her. 

Finally finding her keys, Beatrice opened her front door and stepped inside. Beatrice shut the door behind her, completely forgetting to lock it, before walking further into her house. Quickly and silently, the figure entered through the front door, quietly stalking the girl in the shadows of her own home.

"Whew, girl! I'm so glad to be home; my feet are killing me," Beatrice said as she kicked off her heels. The figure watched as Beatrice laughed at something Jasmine said.

"Girl, even when I get with Miles, Imma still make time for my girls. What are you even talking about?! Just because I'm in a relationship don't mean I can't have fun," the girl giggled. Jasmine said something more, and Beatrice rolled her eyes.

"Girl, whatever, bye." Beatrice walked into her room with a yawn. The girl would love to crash in bed and call it a night, but unless she wants her face to look like that back of a Crunch bar, then she better-

White digital eyes met her eyes in her full-view mirror. She could feel her heart freeze in her chest, her blood slowing to a crawl as the cold brush of fear caressed her spine. It was like all the alcohol that was buzzing in her system was fizzled out.

"W-who... who are you?" The mask the person was wearing lit up, neon purple lights flooded her room. Only one entity would light up the night with those colors.

"P-Prowler..." A distorted chuckle filled the quiet room.

"So you are smart, aren't you, Beatrice?" The girl let out a soft whimper. 

"How d-do y-you-" The question died on her lips as she felt a gloved hand grip her waist and a clawed hand around her neck. The Prowler lowered his head, almost resting it on her shoulder.

"Such a smart girl, but yet you decided to make the stupidest decision you could've ever made," the Prowler cooed mockingly. 

"W-what are y-you even t-talking about?" Beatrice watched as the mask pulled back, revealing the cold eyes of Miles Morales.

"M-Mil-"

"I fucking warned you, Beatrice." The girl hissed when the hand on her waist tightened roughly.

"I told you not to start shit about my baby, and what do you do?" The tips of Miles' claw began to dig into her skin.

"You accuse mi dulce ángel inocente of murder?" Beatrice's chest began to rise and fall faster and faster with each breath.

"I-I-I'm sor-" Beatrice was whirled around to face the boy, a sneer tugging on his lips.

"Way too late for a sorry, puta. You all must've thought I was joking when I said not to test me. I guess Jamal wasn't a good enough example..." Gray eyes widened, and Miles smirked down at her as the look of horrified realization could be found in them. His clawed hand caressed her cheek, the tips leaving bloody streams behind.

"Maybe you'll be a better one. And trust me, I'm gonna take my time with you, Beatrice. You'll have my attention, just like you always wanted..."

-----------------------

It was roughly 1 AM when Miles finally leaves Beatrice's house. Just as he locked the door behind him, his burner phone began to ring.

"Yo, you took care of her," Aaron's distorted voice filtered through the line. Miles smirked; the memory of stuffing the girl's heart in her mouth as she bled out was gruesomely poetic. 

"Eat your heart out, puta."

To Miles' it was a fitting end for the girl—a vain, selfish heartbreaker who got what was coming to her.

"Yup, you took care of her," Miles asked. Aaron chuckled.

"Oh, most definitely," Aaron said, smirking at the sight of Grace Manson's hanging dead body. Her heart lay in a puddle of blood beneath her feet. 

"Thanks, Unc."

"Of course, I would do anything for you two."

-----------------------

The next morning felt like a fever dream. Panthera woke up that Saturday morning to watch the news, trying to see if there was any news on Jamal's murder...

...only to find out that Beatrice and Mrs. Manson were dead. Found by their families.

Their hearts were ripped out.

There were no signs of forced entry and no evidence.

The only thing that tied the murders together was how close the times of death were, meaning these murders had to be coordinated.

It was cold, calculated, and clean. While Panthera was annoyed about the whole ordeal from Monday, she wouldn't want the two people who put her in this position dead.

The girl nearly detached herself from reality, the key word being nearly. It was at that exact moment Miles called. It wasn't unusual for him to call when he woke up, and he was a welcome distraction. While she tried to hide her nerves, her boyfriend could hear the slight tremor in her voice. Plus, the rustling in the background.

Whenever she's stressed or upset, Panthera is known to stress-clean. Miles knows she saw the news, which had shaken her up pretty badly. He knew she would've been mentally spiraling alone if he hadn't spent the weekend over at her place for Valentine's Day. Deciding not to let his little kitten go through this alone, he just kept talking to her over the phone as he got ready to head to her place.

The boy used the apartment key Eric gave him to silently enter the home. Panthera was talking about a father-daughter date she and her dad had planned when he comes back later that week, so she was thoroughly distracted. Listening closely, it sounded like she was in her bathroom. With a small smile, he entered the apartment, her room, and the adjacent bathroom. Panthera's back was facing him as she reorganized her shower. Quietly, he snuck up on his girl before looping his arms around her waist.

As expected, Panthera let out a surprise squeal. What wasn't expected was the hard stomp on his foot and the headbutt to his face.

"AH! Gatita, calm down! It's me!" Panthera paused her attack at her boyfriend's voice, turning to find the boy holding his nose.

"Mi! I'm so sorry, but you shouldn't have scared me like that! There's a bloody killer, for Bast's sake!" The girl fussed over her man, checking to see if she may have caused any bleeding. Miles chuckled, holding her wrists.

"My apologies, mami. I wanted to see you to make sure you're okay, which I know you're not, so don't even try to deny it." Panthera sighed, getting on her toes to kiss the bridge of Miles' nose.  She allowed herself to be picked up and toted to her bed. Miles sat down, maneuvering her so she would be straddling his lap.

"Talk to me, mi amor. I'm here for you..." Panthera pecked his lips before nuzzling his neck.

"It's just that... I know this city has gotten darker after... well, you know. And I've been trained by my Baba to handle myself if need be, but I know it would be out of self-defensive. It would be my life or theirs... I could even understand if the person was terrible and needed to be taken out, but this..." Panthera shuddered. Miles kissed her forehead, gently rubbing her back. 

Silence befell the couple for a few moments before Panthera spoke up again.

"Did you know my grandfather was murdered?" Miles grimaced. Panthera didn't notice this, forging ahead.

"My utatomkhulu, N'Jobu, was a prince in his country. But he did bad things. He smuggled some precious materials out of the country and moved here. Most of the material he sold to a man off the black market, but the rest he kept hidden away. He met my Baba's mother, and they had him. Unfortunately, she died not too long after my Baba was born. It was just the two of them. Until one night, Baba was outside playing basketball with his friends. It wasn't until he looked up at the sky and saw a ship that was similar to the ones he heard in stories. He was excited that maybe our family from our homeland was coming for them, and he ran back to the apartment. That's where he found utatomkhulu's body, lying in a pool of blood. He had claw marks embedded in his chest. My Baba was left alone before he was even a teenager..." 

Miles nuzzled his face in her hair, holding her as tight as he could.

So this was what Aaron meant.

"Boy! I outta smack the shit outta you! You impaled the nigga and left the body for her to find?! Did you not think about how it might impact her? Do you not know her fuckin' family history?!"

When Aaron blew up on him for killing Jamal, he thought it was because he left behind the body. Turns out, it had less to do with Jamal and more to do with Panthera. When Miles showed clear confusion over what his uncle was talking about, the man calmed down.

"So she didn't tell you yet... Look, it's not my story to tell, Miles... just know murder is something her family is familiar with. Especially if it seems senseless.."

"Oh, gatita, I'm so sorry that your family had to go through that..." Panthera finally looked up, finding sorrowful eyes staring back at her. She offered a weak smile.

"I'm gonna be okay, love. I'm just happy that you're here with me." Miles smiled softly, caressing her cheek.

"I'll always be here for you, Panthera. Always..." Miles leaned in, kissing those soft lips he loved so much. A soft sigh escaped the girl's lungs. Her arms found their way around Miles' neck as she pressed closer. Panthera didn't change out of her sleepwear before Miles showed up, which the boy was glad for. The girl's pajamas leave little to imagination, as she preferred crop tops, tube tops, comfy short shorts, or little night dresses to sleep in. Only a brown crop top and brown cheetah print covered her body, meaning access to soft dark skin.

A soft moan left Panthera's mouth as she felt her boyfriend's hands massage her thighs. The small calluses that decorated his fingertips and palms felt good against her soft skin. Miles suckled on her bottom lip, earning a sweet little whimper.

"Miles," Panthera whispered, arching against the boy. He let out an inquisitive hum.

"¿Qué pasa, mi dulce ángel?" Miles started spreading kisses to her chin, jaw, cheeks...

"Just... need a second..." Miles nodded, burying his face in her neck. He could feel her pulse fluttering under his lips as he pressed a kiss there.

"Love you so much, mami," he mumbled against the soft skin, his hands rubbing her waist and hips. The girl let out a shy giggle, playing with his braids.

"I love you too, Papi..."

-----------------------

Time passed.

Panthera returned to school, doing her best to ignore the stares from her classmates. Miles had informed her that Beatrice had been spreading the rumor that she had killed Jamal before Beatrice herself was killed. At least she had the weekend to mentally prepare for the amount of eyes trying to flay her skin from her bones.

The students started moving on within a few weeks, much to her and her boyfriend's relief.

Despite the investigations, no clues or evidence that could lead to the killers could be found. Though Panthera doubts they'll ever be solved, the NYPD hasn't been the greatest at their jobs since Jeff died. If her life was on the line, the police would be the last people she would reach out to.

Funerals were had. Tears were shed. Life moves on.

Luckily, no one else was killed. The principal was replaced, and soon junior year was over.

Summer went off without a hitch. With school over, Miles could spend more time with his little girlfriend, much to his evident delight. With all the funds he saved up, he was able to spoil his baby a bit more.

Date nights, gifts, flowers, clothes, whatever he thought she would like, whatever she wanted, and whatever he thought would look good on her. He always loved the cute little surprised expression on her face whenever he gifted her something or where he took her somewhere new.

"Miles, you didn't have-"

"Shhh, I want to, mami. You deserve all this and more..."

Panthera was reluctant to accept a lot of the gifts, mainly because she's not used to getting "just because" gifts that look so nice. Not that her dad doesn't spoil her when he could, but she never expects it nor asks. She was content as long she had the presence of the person she loved. But soon, she felt comfortable wearing a lot of the stuff her boyfriend had got her, mainly the jewelry. Mainly the necklaces with his name on them or the name earrings (pleasing the possessive and obsessive side of his brain.)

Of course, that attracted the attention of some would-be thieves on one of her late-night walks.

Granted, the girl usually wore her necklaces under her hoodie, but she was a bit more spaced out than usual that night. She fiddled with the key-shaped necklace with Miles' name on it; her fingers tracing the letters of her boyfriend's name was the only thing anchoring her.

Her mind was replaying the last few months. As traumatic as it was, she was also happy. She was in a loving relationship with a sweet, handsome, clingy, strong, and protective Afro-Latino. She had a loving maternal figure for the first time in her life. She was reunited with the man she saw as an uncle.

She was happy...

But she couldn't shake the feeling something bad was going to happen... and for the life of her, she's not even sure what it could be.

Maybe she was overthinking-

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" 'Oh, for Bast's sake...'

Panthera turned, finding three men staring down at her. The ringleader smirked at her.

"Lost, little girl?" Dark eyes narrowed.

"Not little." The men laughed.

"Fiesty, I like her, Rando," The guy on the left said. Rando looked Panthera up and down with gleaming eyes.

"You not the only one..."

"What do you want," Panthera hissed, glancing at the trio. Rando stepped closer with a disarming smile.

"Me and my boys couldn't help but notice that you were by your lonesome and wanted to see if maybe you needed some company..." 

"Not necessary, fellas. Now, if you'll excuse me-" Before Panthera could even take a step away, Rando trapped her arm. Large fingers studied the key charm around her necklace.

"Pretty necklace you got there. Your boyfriend got it for you?" Panthera sneered.

"Yes, not like it's any of your business-" Panthera hissed when the chain of her necklace dug into her skin as Rando pulled at it.

"I'm making it my business, little girl. A necklace like this probably didn't come cheap. It would be a shame if you-OOF!" Taking advantage of her free arm, Panthera quickly punched Rando's abdomen. Feeling the grip on her arm loosens, the girl jumped back, eyes narrowed as she glared the three men down. Rando returned it with one of his own, a sneer tugging on his lips.

"You little bitch. I'm gonna make you regret that." A wicked grin spread on Panthera's lips.

"I would love to see you try."

-----------------------

It has been some time since Panthera had been in a fight. Her dad was gone a little more frequently recently, so she didn't train often. Yeah, she trains with Miles and Aaron, but she knows they were pulling their punches because they didn't want to hurt her.

These men didn't know they chose the right one on the wrong day.

Rando's accomplices were out cold; one was shot since he wanted to be big and bad and shoot at her first. The sound of the man's pained scream when her bullet struck true into his shoulder, was music to her ears. 

Now, it was just Rando and her. Bruises were already starting to form on the girl's body, but she learned to ignore the pain. The girl spat out a glob of blood as she stared down the older guy.

"C'mon Rando, I thought I was gonna regret messing with you," she taunted, bouncing on her feet. Rando snarled, trying to appear intimidating, but the girl could see the fear in his eyes.

"You got a death wish?" Panthera grinned; the sight was enough to unnerve the would-be thief.

"No more than you do." Panthera didn't hesitate to rush forward, more than ready to finish this and go home when pain erupted in her back. A scream ripped through her vocal cords as she faltered in her pursuit. The girl glanced over to find the same man who shot at her earlier aiming his gun at her with a smirk. Before Panthera could do anything, two arms wrapped around her in a vice grip—one around her neck and one around her waist. A wince slipped through her teeth as the arm around her neck tightened.

"Why not you take a little nap, yea? When you sleep off all data the aggression, maybe you could make it up to me and my homeboys for all the trouble you caused." The girl could feel something poking at her lower back and started thrashing, clawing at the arm that was quickly taking her oxygen supply. 

She refused to let these guys take advantage of her. She won't allow-

"Let her go." Everyone froze, all eyes trained on the masked newcomer among them. Said mask flickered on, purple lights lighting up the dark alley. Rando quickly released her, backing up from the vigilante.

"A-Aye, easy man. We don't want n-no problems..." The newcomer cocked his head.

"Well, ain't that a shame." Rando didn't even have time to question what he meant as the vigilante slammed him against the nearest wall. The Prowler glanced over his shoulder. White digital eyes met with wide brown ones.

"E-Easy there, Prowler... I-I didn't know that w-was your girl. I-It won't happen again," Rando stammered. The masked being chuckled.

"I know it won't... because you wouldn't be around to attempt such a stupid thing." The soft whirl of the mechanisms and gears was the only sound heard as the Prowler unleashed his claws. Before he could tear into the older man, a loud yell came behind him.

"LOOK OUT!" The vigilante was able to duck, narrowly avoiding the bullet. Rando, however, wasn't so lucky. The man slumped to the ground, a bullet hole found in his neck. Rando let out a pitiful gurgle as his own blood choked the life out of him. The Prowler slowly turned to find the trembling figure on the dirty alleyway floor staring at him with fearful eyes.

"Ballsy, aren't you," the Prowler drawled, fingers flexing in his metal claw.

"I-I-I-" The man didn't get the chance to formulate a response when another gunshot rang out. The Prowler stared at the bullet hole marring the man's forehead before slowly turning to find Panthera holding her gun, albeit with shaky hands.

"Coldblooded, don't you think?" Panthera let out a shaky laugh, the adrenaline pumping in her veins.

"It was either him or us. I'm sure you know how that is." He does, but the vigilante doesn't voice his confirmation. Panthera met the soulless eyes of Brooklyn's shadowy anti-hero. Before she could say anything, she felt her body sway, unable to hold her weight. Before she could hit the ground, two strong arms held her up against a solid chest.

"Hey, stay with me. Keep those pretty eyes open for me. I'm going to help you." Despite the disoriented, gravelly voice of the Prowler rumbling in her ears, Panthera felt oddly comforted by him. She struggled to stay awake as the masked vigilante gently set her on the ground. 

She didn't protest when the vigilante lifted her hoodie and shirt to reveal her wound. All she could do was lay there as the Prowler fussed over her.

It kinda of reminded her of her boyfriend whenever she was going through the first two days of her period, where the girl would be dying in bed until her cramps and bleeding lessened. Miles is always so sweet and attentive to her, always looking out for her and taking care of her.

She missed her boyfriend; she just wanted to be wrapped in his arms and sleep...

"Aye, wake up, pretty girl. I'm almost done. Don't close your eyes, stay with me..." Panthera blinked blearily at the vigilante.

"Mmm... s..so tired," she mumbled. The girl obviously couldn't see the nervous panic on the guy's face, but she could faintly hear it in his voice.

"I know you are, but you gotta stay awake. I need to take you somewhere safe. It's not far from here. Just stay awake." The girl could feel herself being lifted up, cradled against the Prowler's chest before he took off running. Panthera felt the fatigue and bruising pain sing from the marrow of his bones; her own eyelids felt like two-ton weights.

"J...just five minutes," she whispered, laxing in the vigilante's grip, despite it tightening on her.

"No, no, no! W...up! P... Damn....!" The Prowler's panicked shouts were the last thing Panthera heard before her world went black.

-----------------------

"Will she be okay?" Aaron turned when he heard the small voice of his nephew. When Aaron received an SOS signal from his nephew, he was worried he may have gotten injured while on patrol. When he arrived at one of their secret warehouses, he quickly realized it wasn't him who needed treatment but his precious niece. The man was no medical professional, but he knew his way around bullet wounds and other injuries, seeing how it comes with the job, unfortunately.

He had just finished wrapping Panthera's abdomen where her bullet wound lay. Thankfully, there was an exit point (he would hate to try to dig around his niece's internal organs for the piece of metal), and it didn't touch any vital organs. If he hadn't tended to her when he did, they would've lost her due to blood loss. Aaron turned back to the unconscious girl to tend to the bruises on her body.

"She'll survive the night, Miles. Don't worry," Aaron said gently. He felt arms wrap around his torso, tears wetting the back of his shirt.

"Thank you, tío. I-I-It means a lot..." Aaron's heart seized at the tone of his nephew's voice. The relief tinged with the undeniable tremble of fear. The girl was more loved than she would ever begin to understand. They all did, Miles especially. He knew how deeply Miles loved Panthera, scarily so. 

Aaron didn't want to know what would happen to the boy if the girl was no longer with them. It would shatter him. Hell, it would break him and Rio, too.

"Like I told you before, Miles, I would do anything for you two."

-----------------------

The next time Panthera woke up, it wasn't in her bed. Bleary dark eyes tried to take in her surroundings despite fatigue weighing down on her like a million bricks.

"W-Where..." Bits of her memory flashed in her mind. Rando. A gunshot. The Pr-

"Easy..." The distorted voice she faintly remembered mumbling words of comfort sounded in her ears. Squinting in the dark, she turned to find not only one but two pairs of white slits looking at her. She blinked slowly.

"W-who..." Before she could finish her question, the cool lip of a glass cup kissed her dry lips.

"Drink, you definitely need it," the taller man said. Not in any real shape to argue, Panthera took slow, measured sips of the water being given to her. She let out a soft, relieved sigh when she finished. Soon, something was placed in her lap.

"Eat," the shorter stated. She looked down to find scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, sausages, a cream cheese spread bagel, and fruit on a plate. She raised a brow at the duo before chuckling.

"Bossy," she teased before digging into her food. The two looked satisfied (at least she could assume they were; hard to tell with them wearing masks and all) before leaving her alone in the room. As the girl ate, she couldn't help but take in her surroundings. The bedroom was sparse, leaving no clues of any personality from the two Prowlers. At the very least, the room was clean, so it must be used quite a bit. She could see the dark skyline of the broken city she called home outside the barred window.

Finishing her food, she carefully set her plate on the dresser before approaching the window, staring out in silence.

"Finished?" Glancing over her shoulder, she watched as the younger Prowler approached her. She turned to face him as he stood less than a foot away.

"Thank you... for saving me." The Prowler cocked his head at this.

"I can't say I did much. If anything, I should be thanking you. You were the one who kept me from getting killed and finishing off the other guy," he replied. Panthera let out a soft chuckle, hugging the vigilante.

"And if you didn't show up when you did, those guys would've done unspeakable things to me," she whispered. Prowler froze for a few moments, carefully wrapping his arms around her. The two stood there for a bit, neither saying a word. Panthera knew she shouldn't feel so comfortable around the vigilante, but something about him felt safe.

Like she could trust that he would never hurt her.

That he would always protect her.

Panthera let out a sigh before pulling away. She returned her gaze to the city.

"I need to go home," she said. She overstayed her welcome and would love to crash in her own bed for a few more hours. She felt the Prowler take hold of her hand.

"I can take you," he offered. The girl pursued her lips in contemplation before giving a small nod. Hand in hand, the duo walked out of the bedroom and into the main room. The older Prowler was still there, seemingly cleaning his claws when he heard them.

"You taking her home," the man asked. The younger nodded. Giving the infamous vigilante a shy smile, the girl bowed her head.

"Thank you for taking care of me, sir. I wish you well..." The older Prowler gave a nod.

"Take care of yourself, little one."

-----------------------

Panthera isn't usually afraid of heights. She took gymnastics at one point. But she supposes it's different when you rely on someone else to catch you rather than yourself.

The girl didn't scream but couldn't help but cling to the vigilante's back like a baby koala as he jumped from building to building, occasionally using grappling wires to help bridge the gap. She provided him with her address to make it easier for him to find. Luckily for her and her stomach, the Prowler didn't take long to reach her apartment. The boy swung onto her fire escape, carefully setting her down.

"There, safe and sound," he said once she got her feet on the metal platform. The girl nodded, glancing at the vigilante through her lashes.

"Uh, yeah. Thank you for taking me home," she mumbled. She turned to her window, carefully pulling it up.

"You shouldn't be wandering the streets at night anymore. Too many dangers." The girl paused, glancing over her shoulder, regarding the Prowler with a raised brow.

"'Fraid I can't promise that. It's not my first time doing this; this hasn't been my first fight. Just the first time I got shot," she mumbled. The vigilante didn't like that answer, his eyes narrowing before letting out a sigh.

"Guess I'll just have to keep an eye on you..." The boy trailed off. Panthera immediately caught onto what he was silently asking for.

"Panthera." The Prowler nodded.

"I'll just keep an eye on you then, Panthera." The girl laughed before hugging the boy.

"I guess I could use more people who worry about my well-being. Especially if he's such an infamous figure in Brooklyn's underworld with a soft spot for me," she teased. She didn't need to see the guy's face to know he was blushing. 

"I-uh..." Panthera laughed as she pulled away.

"Don't give yourself a stroke, I'm teasing. I'll see you around Prowler." The masked face nodded at her.

"Rest up, Panthera." The vigilante watched as the girl slipped through her window before disappearing in the fading darkness. The girl let out a loud yawn, blinking rapidly.

"Check wounds. Shower. Bed," she mumbled, mentally switching to autopilot. It's been a long night, and the girl wasn't in the mood to think about what happened.  She fiddled with her necklace with a sigh.

Never had she ever thought her relationship with the boy she loved would cause her this much hell in such a short amount of time. But she wouldn't trade it for anything.

She wouldn't...

Shaking off that intrusive thought, she went through her mental checklist. Her digital clock read was 8:49 AM when she finally crashed into her bed and fell asleep.

-----------------------

"Mio dio! What happened?!" Panthera groaned into her pillow as she was awakened by a loud cry. She tried to roll over onto her back but almost rolled off her bed if not for the strong pair of arms catching her.

"Jesus, gatita, what happened to you..." Panthera blinked blearily. The blurry picture of her worried and terrified boyfriend finally comes into sharp focus. Her sleepy brain took a few seconds to realize a few things.

One, Rio and Miles were in her bedroom.

Two, she was just in her bra and panties since the tired girl couldn't be bothered to put on actual clothes.

Three, all her bruises and wrapped torso were on full display, emphasized by the bright sunlight streaming through her window.

And four, one thing's for sure and two things for certain: the Morales family was known to the biggest worrywarts and busybodies concerning their loved ones. Which was both beneficial and almost headache-inducing. Miles is most definitely Rio's son, from the accent down to the mother hen nature when it comes to her.

This was not something Panthera wanted to deal with this Saturday morning.

"Uh... buenos días Rio y Mi... ¿cómo están?" Rio and Miles looked nowhere near amused at the girl's poor attempt at deflection. Rio turned to her son with a hard look in her eyes.

 "Mijo, set her down on the bed so I can take a look at her and go into the kitchen and see what you can make for her to eat for lunch. I'll pack a bag when I'm finished so she can spend a few nights with us." Panthera was about to protest but decided against it when a pair of green and tawny eyes glared at her.

"Si mamá," Miles replied, kissing the girl's forehead before setting her back down on her bed. Panthera sighed as she was left alone with the nurse, who proceeded to check her over.

"Now. I'm going to ask once, and I expect the honest truth from you, Mija. What happened to you," Rio asked as she looked over the girl's bruises. 

"I went for a walk last night, and these three guys tried to rob me. I fought back and knocked two of them out, but one of them woke up and shot at me before I could finish the leader. Using my moment of weakness, the leader tried to choke me out and threaten that he and his friends were gonna rape me..." Rio stared worriedly at the girl as she robotically told her tale. 

"That didn't happen, though, because the Prowler came and saved me." Rio rose a brow at this. She was aware of the vigilante that roamed Brooklyn's nightlife. He was something of a Robin Hood figure, albeit a dangerous one. To think this shadowy figure helped the girl she considered as a daughter eased her a bit.

"And I'm assuming he had something to do with why your injuries are healing nicely," she asked lightheartedly. The bullet wound was thoroughly cleaned and nicely wrapped; her bruises didn't look so bad either. Though Rio wanted to keep a close eye on her futura nuera to ensure she healed properly.

"Uh, I don't think so. It seems the old Prowler is his mentor? He probably would have a better understanding of bullet wounds and stuff, so it wouldn't surprise me if he was the one that took care of me." Panthera wasn't too sure what to make of the duo. The Prowler was a name that was feared in Brooklyn. While the vigilante isn't known to harm civilians, like any other Brooklyn underworld figure, it was best to steer clear of him. But it's like the two vigilantes went out of their way to help her. While they were rather firm with her, it was clear that they cared for her well-being.

She could trust that if she were ever to see either of them, she'd be safe.

It was kinda of a word thought to have...

"Well, either way, I'm glad that they helped you when they did, Mija." Rio's voice broke the girl's train of thought. The mother looked satisfied with her check over, finally leaving the girl be so she could pack a bag for her. 

"Here, wear this, querida. It's hot outside today after all," Rio said, handing the girl a sundress that she nearly forgot she owned.

The girl blushed. She never wore it because she would have to forgo the comfort of her trusty bras, seeing how it was backless. The material was a bit more on the sheer side. With just enough light, you could see the girl's silhouette underneath.

And considering she's wearing this around her boyfriend in front of his mother-

"You sure that's okay, Rio?" The older woman raised a brow before smirking.

"I was young once upon a time, querida. How did you think I caught my husband's attention, hm," Rio teased, laughing good-naturedly at the girl's growing blush. 

"You're beautiful, Panthera. No need to be afraid or ashamed to show off to your boyfriend every once and awhile," Rio said with a wink. Panthera smiled shyly at her maternal figure before taking the dress from her and changing in her bathroom. The dress complimented her skin nicely and fitted her well (a little snug around the chest, but Panthera wasn't gonna complain about the support it gave her). She looked good, even with her bruises. The girl threw her locs in a messy bun with a few hanging around her face. Applying some of her vanilla and sandalwood perfume oil on key parts of her body, the girl felt ready to leave.

Panthera stepped out just in time to see mother and son chatting in Spanish on her bed.

"I'm ready." Miles looked up to greet his kitten, only to stare with a slacked jaw as she approached.

"Buen Dios y todos sus ángeles misericordiosos..." Rio chuckled at her son's reaction.

"De nada, hijo," she said with a smirk. Miles shook himself out of his lovesick stupor, realizing his mom was still very present. The boy stood up to meet his embarrassed girlfriend halfway, kissing her forehead before leading her to the bed.

"Here you go, pretty girl." Panthera took the plate of some leftover subs she had made a day ago, along with some chips and salsa. The girl smiled.

"Thank you, my love." With a kiss on his cheek, Miles watched as his girl snuggled next to him with a content smile. Despite the hell his precious girl had been through these few months, she was still smiling.

She was still here. 

She was still here with him.

A small part felt guilty for putting her through half the grief and trauma she's experienced thus far in their relationship. He doesn't know how he'll be able to tell her the truth if she ever finds out that he was the reason behind their classmates' deaths. That his uncle helped to kill the principal for her unfair treatment towards her. That his mom now knows all this and was willing to keep quiet about all this (just as long he came to her for daily checkups after his patrols).

"No puedo decir que lo que estás haciendo sea moralmente correcto, Miles. Pero puedo decir que estás enamorado de esa chica. La has amado durante años. Ella te hace feliz, cariño... y eso es todo lo que quiero para ti. Haz lo que tengas que hacer para protegerla y preservarla, pero por favor no intentes matar a nadie más por celos. Eso es todo lo que te pido, hijo."

Despite his guilt, a larger part of Miles felt content. Panthera was his. He loved her. He loves her. And he would do everything in his power to keep her. No one is going to come and take her away from him. 

Not even herself.

Even if she hated him for his morally questionable deeds, they'll have forever for her to learn how to love him again.

"I love you, mi vida," he whispered against her neck, curling around her in a hug. Miles could feel her blush creeping up her neck as her shoulder shook slightly in time with her chuckle.

"Te amo por siempre y para siempre, mi rey," she whispered back. Miles grinned as he nuzzled her further.

They were met to be. And nothing could change that...

...at least, that's what Miles thought.

-----------------------

Alright, y'all gonna have to give me some time to drop the next one, I'm tired. Imma add the translations later. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Dedicated to @444morales and @l0v3morales

[meriadocmosscap]

journalling update

At the start of this month, I changed how I use my journal. I've used bullet journalling for a few years now, and I've been through patches of more or less success with it. This month, I'm making my journal a little different - with bullet journal spreads for my working week, and reflective and scrapbook journalling spreads for the weekends.

What this looks like in practice is a double page spread for the week at work, divided into six: a space for each weekday, and one for additional notes. I came to this by browsing pinterest, tumblr, and by looking at what I was actually using my journal space for already. I'm three weeks into this setup, and so far, it's working really well.

Another aspect I wanted to plan into my journal use was a clear separation between my work pages and weekend pages. Keeping my work week to one double spread means that I can turn the page on Friday evening and it's gone.

The next double spread goes to the weekend - one page of reflection, and one page for my weekend log.

The reflection page links to my May goals, which I set at the start of this month. I have three categories this month: reading, reflection, and recharging. Each category contains two goals. Each week, around Friday evening, I'm using my reflection page to look back on how I'm progressing toward those goals since last week. Some of them have changed, based on my reflection, and some have been dropped completely. They're definitely not set in stone. But having them, and having a place to reflect each week, has been more helpful than holding on to a general, vague wish that I was reading more - for example.

The reflection page isn't super decorative. I did try that, but I think I prefer to keep that page for writing.

The weekend log page is for scrapbooking. It's a chance to be deliberate about how I spend my free time, and how I savour and remember it. I've found myself more aware of the small joys since starting it, and setting out to do something nice with my time so that I can record it in my journal.

I'm three weeks into using this setup, and the last week will be a little difference since I'm on holiday from work. I'm excited to carry over what has helped into June, and try some new things for the next month!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Long complex story about the failure of bureaucracy in my new apartment complex.

I've been living at home with my parents since graduating, and I've spent all of 2023 saving up so I could move out and get my own apartment. Last month, I found a cheap complex that my younger sisters used to live in, and they said it was really nice, so I took a virtual tour, liked what I saw, and signed the lease. I was assigned to a smaller bedroom in a 4x4 unit (so it would be me and three other roommates), to move in on September 1st. My assigned room was C. When I got there to collect my keys, the kid at the leasing office gave me the keys for room B, which is a bigger room with a walk-in closet. I asked him then and there if he was making a mistake, because my lease says C and the paperwork they gave me to fill out to make sure the room was clean said C, but the keys said B. He told me without a moment's hesitation that B and C were the same exact room, and that there was no problem. The very next sentence out of his mouth was that the keys were actually for room C all along, because that's what my lease said, so the baggy they came in must have been mislabeled. Fine. Sure. Whatever. I get my keys, and I go to move in. They tell me that there's only one other guy in there right now, but the other two rooms will be rented soon.

Friday the 1st. When I open the door, I find my roommate hunched over the kitchen counter staring at his phone, sniffling heavily, in complete darkness. I say hello, he doesn't say anything. I go to shake his hand to introduce myself, he doesn't tell me his name, he grabs my hand with his thumb and index finger and jiggles it slightly before going back to whatever he was doing. Real loner vibes, looks like a school shooter, scrawny white guy, disheveled, patchy unshaven goatee, "he was so quiet, you never would have guessed." I'll keep my eyes on him, but I'm sure he's harmless, just weird. So, I use the keys I was given to move into room C. None of the rooms are labeled, I just had to try doors until I found the right one, and yeah, it was the bigger room B, not C. It's the start of Labor Day Weekend, a bunch of new people are still moving in, so the office never responds to any of my calls or emails. Oh well. Their mistake. Not my problem.

I go to buy some groceries, and I notice that the kitchen is absolutely disgusting. Swarming with roaches! Mold on every fixture! The microwave is ORANGE! I am appalled, but the office is too busy to get a hold of, so I tell myself I'll have to deal with it after the holiday.

Saturday the 2nd. I don't see roomie all day, but I feel his presence. He hides in his room whenever he hears me approaching, and turns off all the lights that I leave on for any reason (if I just left a room to get something and will be back in a few seconds, he still darts out and turns them off). I do eventually encounter him, like sasquatch, and I ask him if he's noticed the roaches. All he says is "yeah." I asked him his name, and he tells me Darmok, like Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra." I don't mention Star Trek, but I ask again to confirm that he said Darmok. Turns out I misheard him; what he said was Tomahawk, his real name is Tom Hawkins. Okay. I asked him how long he's been living in this unit (he has room A, right next to mine). Most leases start in August for the new school semester, but I moved in a month late because I'm not a student, so I assumed he had moved in a few weeks before me, but no, he's been here for years. The apartment has been swarming with bugs for who even knows how long, and he never did anything about it. I asked him when's the last time he cleaned the kitchen, and he said he didn't remember. He then told me that "we never really did that sort of thing," "we" being him and his former roommates. They NEVER cleaned the kitchen?!? No fucking wonder it's disgusting!

I can't live like this, so I buy a can of Raid and start spraying. All the cabinets are full of pots and pans with roaches crawling all over them, and Tom (I do not want to call him Tomahawk) says they're not his, so he's not going to clean them or put them away when I'm done. I let the Raid sit for a few hours, and then I start sweeping up 30 or 40 roach carcasses. Another few hours later I go to put the stuff back the way it was, but I see even more roaches scurrying around who haven't gotten the memo yet, so I put it off until the morning.

Sunday the 3rd. The leasing office is closed on Sundays, so there's nothing to do but wait. I hurt my knees and back putting together a bookshelf by myself, I went to dinner with my sisters and encountered an ex-girlfriend (long story for another time), it's just an unpleasant day all around.

Monday the 4th. Labor Day, the office is closed for the holiday, so there's still nothing to do but wait. The counters are stil cluttered with dishes because Tom doesn't mind living in filth, so I decide to leave him to it. The roaches still aren't dead, so I buy a mini fridge and move all my food into my bedroom. I'll go out there to use the oven, but from now on my food has to be shelf stable and fit in one-gallon freezer bags. I've spent the last three days getting my room set up exactly the way I like it, all my chotchkies put away in a cubby, all my books sorted and shelved, my clothes hung, my wifi set up, boxes broken down and decluttered, absolutely perfect. I've finally moved in and gotten into the flow of things. Surely nothing can go wrong!

Tuesday the 5th, this very morning. I finally go to the front office in person to complain about the roaches and they say that the pest control guy will swing by tomorrow to deal with it professionally. I also give them back the tenant sign-in form they gave me on the 1st; I went around the whole apartment and made notes of every maintenance issue so they wouldn't blame me for it when I move out next summer. My bedroom was filthy, full of garbage and hair and toenail clippings. The previous tenant didn't clean it, and neither did the maintenance people, so I had to clean it myself after moving in. Gross. Well, a few minutes later the maintenance guys show up at the apartment and start cleaning room C across the hall, the empty room that I was supposed to be in, and I tell them that I'm actually in room B because the office made a mistake. They say their job is to clean C, not B, so I go back to the office to clarify.

I figured they gave me the wrong key when I moved in, but the guy told me it was no big deal. Turns out he was an idiot. Everyone working here is an idiot. It's staffed entirely by students who don't know what they're doing and have zero customer service experience (they haven't had their souls crushed yet; I know what it's like to have this kind of job, so I can't get mad at them, but now I understand boomers...) This kid, a different kid than the one who helped me on the 1st, says that I have move into C like I was supposed to. I'm already settled in B so I ask if there's any way I can stay there, and he says no, somebody has already rented B with the walk-in closet, so I am required to move. Okay, fine, whatever. I ask him to give me the keys to C so I can move my stuff over, and he tells me I'm not allowed to have both the keys to B and C at the same time. I need to give back the keys to B before he'll give me the keys to C, but I locked my bedroom door when I left the apartment because I don't trust Tom or the maintenance guys, so I tell him that I still need the B key to get my stuff. This blows his mind and he tries to explain that I can just leave the door open, but I tell him that it's already closed and locked, so I need the key to unlock it, then I need the C key so I can unlock that room and schlep my stuff from B to C. This shorts his brain, "steel is heavier than feathers,"

ERROR: DOES NOT COMPUTE

It's like talking to a brick wall. I eventually convince him to let me have both sets of keys so I can go over and begin the process of packing up my stuff and dragging it 30 feet to a smaller room.

Well, wouldn't you know it, room C is fucking disgusting too. Stains in the bathroom, fingerprints all over the mirrored closet door, and inside the closet there's a big cobwebby hole in the ceiling surrounded by water damage. I refuse to move in there, so I march back to the office AGAIN to complain. The kid tells me that maintenance will fix it "real quick," but I don't want a "real quick" fix. This is not a "real quick" problem. This is a major structural problem, and just spackling over it and repainting isn't gonna cut it. I ask to speak to a manager, and of course there's no one but students available today, so I ask to speak to whoever is currently in charge of leases to see what can be done. They fucked up, so I'm not gonna be the one to pay for their mistake. I want to either stay in room B where i'm already situated, or I want to move to an entirely new apartment, because this is not acceptable.

Well, if you can imagine it, things got worse! They start telling me that I violated my lease by "breaking" into the wrong room, and I insist that I was given these keys, they can check the fucking cameras if they want. I explain everything that happened to some desk jockey who clearly doesn't care, and all I manage to do is confuse her. She keeps asking me which room I'm in, which one I'm supposed to be in, which keys I have, where my stuff is, it's like Abbott and Costello, who's in B, what's in C, roach's on third. She starts looking something up on a computer, and we get to the crux of the problem when she calls me Adam. That is not my name. My name is Milo. Adam is apparently a completely unrelated third guy who is supposed to move into B, but because I am currently residing in room B, they looked up the guy who is assigned to B and completely ignored the part where I told them my name and that I was supposed to be in C. Brick wall, people. None of these people have anything going on behind their eyes, not a single braincell between the lot of them.

I explain one more time that my name is Milo, I was assigned to room C, I was given the keys to room B, I want to stay in B because C is gross. If I can't stay in B, I want to move to a new apartment that isn't gross. This was their mistake, not mine. What's gonna happen now, lady? You tell me.

Well, she up and walks away from her desk. Doesn't tell me why, doesn't tell me where she's going or when she'll be back, she just says "hold on," and leaves. There are no chairs in her cubicle besides the one at her desk, so I can't even sit down while I wait. I'm stewing over this, I start texting friends and family about the ridiculousness of it all, and after fifteen minutes she comes back with my file, my lease, and says that I can stay in B or move to C, it's my choice. I ask to stay in B, but I know that B is more expensive because it's bigger and has a walk-in closet, but she says they will waive the price difference. I did not get that in writing, so I'll have to email them to confirm. The point is that I don't have to move. I can stay where I'm situated, and even if they boost my rent it's only a 10 or 15 dollar difference per month, I'd have been okay with that if they had told me that from the start. I like the walk-in closet. I like that the bed doesn't take up 90% of the floor space like it does in C. There was no room for my fridge and bookshelf and boxes in C, so this worked out for the best.

I now need to confirm that my lease has been updated to reflect this change. I am in room B, and my rent should be the same price as I paid for C on the 1st. Tomorrow, Wednesday the 6th, the pest control guy will come and clear the kitchen of roaches. I am 90% sure the pots and pans didn't come with the apartment because they're all mismatched sizes and brands, so if they're not Tom's and they're not communal then they belonged to a previous tenant and I'm going to throw them away. I am hesitant to move anything back into the kitchen even after they spray and clean up the carcasses, and if the other two rooms in this unit get rented out there will be even more people to deal with, so things still aren't 100% peachy.

Oh, I forgot to mention. On the 1st, I opened every appliance to check the state of things. Fridge was mostly empty, microwave was gross, and the dishwasher was full of what I assume were Tom's dishes. Well, last night I opened the dishwasher again because I have a box full of dishes I need to clean before I find a place for them, and it was full of the exact same dishes as Friday, and on closer inspection it turns out they're filthy! All the cups and bowls are upright and full of grey water that has a film on it. Tom is the only person still in the apartment, so these must be his or else the previous tenant left the dishwasher full of shit when they moved out in July and Tom has just been living like this ever since. What the fuck? And the pots and pans are still cluttering the counter, so I had to begrudgingly put them away myself. I didn't see any more roaches scurrying around, but I know they're there. I am going to contact the office to let them know that Tom is living in filth and making it my problem. I'm not going to do these dishes for him, but I can't not have access to an appliance I'm paying for. It's not fair to me that I'm stuck cleaning up someone else's mess because the apartment managers are fucking flakes. I read my whole lease before signing, and one of the clauses says that you're responsible for cleaning the apartment before you leave; it specifies that you have to provide proof that you hired a professional clearner or the maintenance guy will charge you an arm and a leg to clean it himself, but the previous tenant didn't clean shit and neither did the maintenance guy. They violated the lease, and if they don't fix it to my satisfaction I will take legal action (who am I kidding, I have no money for that...)

[the-gift-of-submission]

Inside a Submissives Soul -

Dear Diary -

Finally the five days without him have passed, lots of ups and downs for us both. I now get to spend a full week plus a couple of days with him. Friday pick up, all ready to go once I've freshened up after I've got in after work, so happy to see him and know we get to spend upcoming time together. I give him the biggest of hugs and love filled kiss, I've missed him so very much, the feeling is mutual by his response.

We are staying local for the night as I want to view a house that has sentimental value to me. My late grandmother's house, she passed eighteen months ago now, she is the one I take fresh flowers to. The house sold approximately a year ago, with it, my whole life that was her and my first home. I often said it was my sanctuary, which is was but he said something a while back that made me see it wasn't about the house, it was all about her, she was my sanctuary, my safe haven. Life is so difficult without her, the pain of the monumental loss is still as great as it was the day she passed even though we new it was coming for momths, sometimes the pain feels greater as the time since I last saw her is getting further and further away. I hate it. I just want her back, I miss her so damn much.

So we visit the house, it's changed, I know it is still the same house, I can see it there but it has been modernised and refurbished quite dramatically. I know when I touch the pillar stones at the end of the front garden that has now been converted into a driveway that the 'ye ole faithful' character is still there hidden away under this new look. I can still see parts of 'home' hidden away all over the property. In the back garden, I saw a familiar face, I rubbed my fingers together making kisses noises and he looked straight at me. It took a few minutes but as soon as he realised he came down along the wall for a fuss, a neighbours furry companion that would sit in the front garden with me for a stroke as I sat having a cigarette in the door step. It felt so good to reacquaint. As emotional as it felt to see and explore the changes, I needed to see it, I needed to do this for me. There is so much I could talk about on this subject alone, maybe one day, we shall see. For now, it needs to settle in my soul for a while.

So our holiday together begins, we head up along the east coast to the industrial spot on the shoreline, we have stayed at a few times now, I love it here. We picked up food on the way and we park up in a nice spot to chill for the night. When the sun goes down, we have a play, he is a tease and he knows it. All the better to keep me keen with I guess. In the morning, before we head to his parents to get freshened up, I have a wonder over to the lighthouse area, I hadn't actually walked up and along the point so I took the opportunity. A fairly large ship was making it's way into port, he stood behind me holding know my hips as I stood higher on the side to take a photo or two. Then he took me for a short walk to watch it from the side, you could see a seal bobbing up and down in and out of the water, cute! All was cool to watch, I've seen a few boats and ships come in and out of the harbour. One time we stayed with friends here and there were dolphins playing in the distance, we managed to capture some of it on film, I felt lucky to be able to see such a thing in reality.

We head off to his parents to get freshened up and have some dinner before we set off again. He is taking me on a little road trip to Scotland which I am really looking forward to! I haven't been, considering I live in England you'd think I'd have been there by now. Better late than never and I'm so glad I am seeing it with him. He is starting us at a place he lived in for a few years, he has fond memories here and it holds a great deal of sentimental value for him. Again, I feel honoured for him to be sharing this with me. We get to the border and I get out to take a photo or two, however it's dark and you can't see much. He tells me just to the side of us is the sea and some beautiful scenery, it's pitch black and in some parts quite foggy. We laugh that the view is stunning, hopefully I can see it all sometime soon in the daylight. We pass a power plant which is stood on its own all lit up, his dad had influence over its creation I believe, his expertise was needed on the construction. It is impressive, anything like this is, many things like this and many other things too. I am in awe of the experiences he has had, his parents too, what a wonderful life to have lived so far, maybe I will be able to share the odd things as time goes on. There's so much going on, so much that has gone on, I can't keep track.

He gets us parked up on the hillside cliff over looking the sea, the beach and the town for the night. Can't see much but pretty lights of the local houses etc, I can hear the sea but hard to see in the dark, you can hear the whistling wind and the waves crashing along the shore line. I can't wait to see everything tomorrow, it's going to be a great day! We wake to have our usual morning wake up call of me spending some time giving him oral. I very much enjoy giving and I know he enjoys receiving such a thing too. On getting up to get sorted, we have breakfast consisting of fruit and yogurt. We have this quite abit, it is very nice, refreshing too, sometimes with abit of granola ontop for the crunch, it adds just the right amount of texture.

We step out of the van, it's overcast ahead but it's a nice day and the scenery is just beautiful. Can see for miles around long the coastline and out to see, it is really something. He takes me for a wander down the grassed cliff the follows along the shore line, we are still quite a way up from the beach and see, it's like countryside by the sea. I stand for a moment or two to take in the view, he seems content and alittle emotional, this place means a great deal to him I can feel that from him. After a moment or two together, the view of the scenery and us just being in eachothers company, hand in hand followed by a cuddle and a kiss, we go back to the van. We tidy up and are ready to go.

He takes me for a short drive around the town first showing me houses he has lived in, the school and places he would hang out at in the town. He talked about playing football with Rod Stewart and that he was a dirty footballer, Rod that is, not him. He has watched many famous bands, singers in the town as well. We parked up and had a walk through the streets, a look in a couple of quirky shops, down to the beach on the opposite side of where we stayed, we sat on a bench on the flat grassed area, the sandy beach right infront of us followed by the sea. The sun shining, it was beautiful, so peaceful, it felt like where home could be. From there we walked around to the harbour, as harbours goes it was pleasantly cute. He took me around the outside, on the outside you have the sea, on the innerside you have the boat yard. He said this was an outdoor swimming pool they used during the summer, we went down and sat on the rocks he once sat on as a teenager. I got a lovely photo of him in the process. He continued telling me stories of being told off for being silly around the pool, told to clear off but he and friends would be back again in a few hours or the next day. All good fun, nothing serious, just alittle cheeky. We continued down a small path crossing the rocks out to the point, furthest out you could go safely. It was so lovely, beautiful infact. Would be so wonderful to live here. On our way back around, he stopped in the tourist centre for tea, coffee and cake before heading back to the van. We popped into a local sweet shop on the way and picked up some sweets, he got some bon bons, I got some pips, fizzy cherry cola bottles and fudge. He had a good chat with the lady who owns the shop, reminiscing about the area, really made me smile to see and hear, it did him too. Really great to spend time seeing part of his world, I'm honoured he has shared such a thing with me, I would love to come back here for regular visits.

We got ourselves back in the van, we make our way to a camp site with van hook up facilities for the night near Edinburgh as he would like to take me out for the following day there. It's dark when we arrive but we get hooked up and settled in. I'm a happy bunny because they have showers on site so I can wash and dry my hair without using all the resources on the van, bonus! We have a wander to the pub, they are only serving food to booked customers so we just have a drink. We talk about alsorts, he is alittle emotional at one point too, he has so much going on in his head, I wish I knew how I could help. We go get ourselves settled in the van for the night after sorting ourselves some food for dinner.

Each night he has played with me, I have entered subspace a couple of times. I am in a happy place at the moment even with some things in the background, certain emotions are settling but I am aware they will pop up time to time. I am watching him closely even though he seems OK, as he tells me so, I am not completely convinced. There are things going on for him and I won't pry but I am here should he feel he can tell me. I am experiencing my sexuality on a deeper level when it comes to climaxes. I can release on demand, I am feeling particular types, lengths, depths and I am unable to control or understand. I can wind up very easily but I can't wind down, it takes a huge amount of time. I am just working on letting them flow. He will be able to guide me through them bit by bit, he does with much of things. I am noticing traits and what pops my cork within my submissive nature. Still a long way to go. It is all a journey I have longed to experience and now I get to with someone I truly love very deeply.

In the morning we get up, get ready and head off into Edinburgh. Getting off the bus by a small church he takes me down the stairs by it, it's all split level and there are shops beneath the building. The grave yard looks pretty and well kept, he takes me into a cafe for tea, coffee and cake. There are tables set outside where you can sit by the dead, which sounds weird but I actually thought I was quite nice, warming to the heart and soul, these people may have been forgotten about but they are never alone. He takes me for a wander down the main road, the park on the right of us, if you look up you can see the Castle, we are making our way round to it. We stopped the Scott monument, it looks amazing, looks very gothic, it looks fantastic lit up at night. We continue on, we have a look in the odd, quirky shops on the way, there are great places I want to come back to. We stop for a drink in a pub he likes, as we head closer to the castle there are people circling a showman, he seems to be enjoying himself with everyone, nice to see. In the distance you can hear the fair sound of bagpipes, getting louder the closer we get. On the ground there is a heart built in the stone work, it is something people spit on for luck? I may have got that wrong but I'm sure thats what he said. We stop at a plaque on the wall of a building and on the ground, it marks the last public execution, how awfully grim. Just over the road is the Scotsman playing the bagpipes, such a skilled talent to be able to play them. Further up is the castle, its busy and too late for us to go inside but the view is spectacular, you can see for miles all around. I bet it looks gorgeous at night with the city all lit up. We were going to go in the Camera Obscura and World of Illusions but they were booked up until 6pm, by then it'd be too dark to see things. Will be better to see it all in the daylight first, hopefully next time. We walk back into the main part of the city, lots to see, stopping for a drink here and there before heading back to the site we are staying at. We decide to stay another night, makes things easier in regards to being able to stop and park for the night. I must say, what a beautiful city Edinburgh is. I am not a city person but this is a city I could call home. The architecture of the buildings throughout are a breathtakingly wondrous sight. The split levels and the street designs are eye-catchingly wonderful too. Can't wait to come back, just wow.

Only in Scotland for a couple of days but I loved every moment there and with him. I know I've barely seen it, merely scratched the surface but I asked him if we could live there. I definitely feels like home. I got to see everything I would have seen on the way up if it hadn't have been dark. It's probably the prettiest coastline of the UK, all down the east side. We stop at the border, I get some photos in the daylight. He stands on the Scotland side of the wall with me on the England, he leans over and kisses me. I have officially been kissed from another country, how romanticly special. I asked if I could get my phone out to take a photo of our shadows merging over the wall. For me it's a great photograph, to be fair, any with him in are. Something else of him to make me smile. We visit Bamburgh, another beautifully pretty coastal village have dinner and rest up for the evening. We walk down to the beach , the castle there from every angle looks amazingly wonderful. I took a photo of it with a rainbow over it, what a shot. On our way back up walking through the sandy grassland we come to a Kissing Gate. I didn't know thats what they called it until he told me to come back, he stayed over the other side and said to kiss him. Again, how romanticly special, I feel so lucky. We stop in the local hotel-pub for a drink and dinner which was very nice. Whilst having dessert after a light dinner, he is pouring my tea which I have noticed quite a lot, I ask him about it. It is a form of ceremonial etiquette for him as well as polite, such a gentleman. Once again I feel special.

We head down to his parents to switch the van for his dad's car before running me back to my home town for a doctors appointment where I needed to have my implant removed. I had a coil inserted 10 days ago, that was not fun but next thing to try as the implant has been in a year and my hormones haven't settled. I have felt emotional since having it out, one I have had a reaction to the anesthetic and two, memories and a couple of thoughts bumbling around in my head, I am trying to ignore them. I feel emotional. We go back up and have a lovely evening dinner with his parents, they're such wonderful people. I bought them some wine and flowers to thank them for being so kind to me. His mum bought me a cute Fluffy jumper, scarf, long hot water bottle and socks to keep me warm in the van as the winter months set in. She had welcomed me with a hug a couple of times. I really like his parents, they are very very nice, real and pleasant is a good mix. They always make such a lovely effort.

We fell asleep quite quickly that night, both quite tired, however he has been driving everywhere so can imagine it has its affects later, bless him. I slept till my alarm went off at 9am. Was supposed to be up and out as he is taking me to the metro centre for midday ish, ended up being 3 hours behind as I snoozed alittle longer and had a banging headache. I woke to a message on my social media from a brother via my biological father who has reached out to me I assume after realising he has 2 sisters. I will find out whether there is an alternative agenda at some point I am sure if that is the case. I am always very skeptical of people, however, I am more than happy to be a sister to him or at the very least a friend if that's what he would like. I am also happy to just give him information about anything regarding me and my sister as well as our Biodad. I feel swamped with emotion that I know I am suppressing. I know I don't want to spoil a good week, having all this time with him has been more than just a blessing, it has been a dream come true. I wouldn't change it for anything. I know it know is back to reality Sunday night ready for a week of work without him here with me but I have him moving in with me very soon. I can say within 3 weeks, we will be starting the next part of our journey together. It all feels very surreal.

The Metro Centre is huge I must say, I though Meadow Hall was big but it looks like a baby brother compared. Walks and talks as we look around, he is disappointed as since Covid many stores have had to close down so lots of boarded empty spaces. I still enjoyed it, there were plenty of places still open and we had a nice time at least. We travel north for a Halloween evening the following night, we arrive with pizza and share it with a dear friend of his. A friend of mine now too I think, she is really awesome, love her to bits already. It is damp and cold but we stay fairly snug in the van. The following day we chill and get ourselves ready later on for the Halloween party. He has a red and black over robe with a skull mask and some bone prop gloves with long skeleton fingers which I seems to really enjoy, I am highly amused by his like of them, they're pretty cool. I have been given a choice of outfits by his aunt, she has loads, so she had loaded me some. I go with a witchy goth fairy look, which works well. This is my first Halloween party in maybe 15 years? It's not something I do because it makes me anxious but tonight I make an exception, change, growth and most of all, experiences. We have a really great night, abit of food, drinks and lots of dancing. After the bands he had a mini dance off to Baggy Trousers with another bloke, was really lively and fun, made me really smile. I love the way he dances with me, I really love being so close with him in this way, our connection feels all the more stronger. Next year I want to plan in advance an outfit and make the most of it for sure.

After getting back to the van, he was quite emotional and his state of mind I have seen before. He wasn't drunk but alcohol certainly influences it. I know he hides his insecurities about us being together, I do too but I know I want him, I am always telling myself he wants me too despite my own insecurities. He tells me I'm beautiful, with or without make up. This is what started it, I was getting undressed and he said my black eyes were working for him so I put on red lipstick as well to tease him as I know this makes him tick too. I had black lip liner and a darker red lipstick than he usually preferred but he still melted, he said as much. He compliments my body, he shed a tear or two in that I would do, and do do things for him. Of course, I want to, he makes me feel good about myself and I am letting parts of me out that I have suppressed for so long because I never had the confidence to show that side of me. I have never been encouraged to do so and when I have been, I got knocked back. He says he is blessed. I am too.

I am about to brush my teeth after removing my makeup and getting out of my underwear and covering myself with my big fleecy snug jumper. I give him a kiss, it was like a peck kiss, I can't remember what was said before hand but it was something that made me abit crappy about things. I have abit of family drama going on and he is trying to support me with the little information and knowledge he has about them but he stopped me in my tracks telling me he never wants to be kissed like that and asked if I want to be kissed like that and kisses me back the same way. I say no. He says our kisses will always have meaning, have purpose. He is right. I will make sure I show him that too. His Dominant side is quite strong, I am aware of it and that little bit of, I wouldn't say fear but it's almost like caution resides in me. He tells me up on the bed, I do. He has the electric toothbrush in his hand. I am on my back, he opens my legs and starts to sit it on my butron. It is so intense I can barely bear it and tell him I can't, he tells me he doesn't want to hear it and I am to cum. I can't, it's just too much even when I push through it. He pushes me abit further but I can't measure up to his expectation, he stops and tells me I have a minute and begins to caress me with his tongue. I climax on the last 20 seconds. He tells me it is time for bed.

The next day is the last day of Goth weekend in a town on the coast which he suggested. It is also the last day of our week and a couple of days together. I also have an outfit planned with his assistance. A red puffed sleeve romance maiden top, a pinstripe corset top to go over it, black denim ripped shorts with red tights underneath, patterned tights over the top of the red tights, a pair of goth punk platform boots and a black choker. He kitted me out and on our look about he picked up some chains to use for my boots and for other accessories. I put on makeup last night and today, I'm not good at makeup and rarely wear any as a result, I seem to get anxious when putting it on and my awkward combination skin just causes me stress when the makeup won't settle on my skin, but this weekend was perfect for any questionable look. We got plenty of photos the night before and whilst at goth weekend, he took some of me. I felt good, I felt abit of my suppressed self breathing openly. I've always had an inner goth but I have never let it out, not much and very rarely. Now I can let this part of me out, he is encouraging me to be able to. We spent time wandering around checking out all the alternative wear shops, we stopped for a warm drink and cake a couple of times and then continued on until it was time to leave to head back to reality.

This weekend has been interesting when he has played with me. We aren't doing much in the way of b.d s.m as we have so much going on but the foundation is there, the desire to play, the need and want to be either as we are or to bring kink into our sessions together. I have given him my collar a few times here and there for him to place on me and he does. When it is to come off I always ask him to do it. I have noticed a change in me again and he has too. Something has changed within my orgasms again. The last couple of nights I have felt the need to release myself, to squirt, I can feel it sitting in me, it's as deep as the internal ache and throb I get with my biggest of orgasms. The night before the last, I had a big one building that was causing me distress to the point of I felt I couldn't function. It impacted me inside subspace and I had no control over my body, it shakes, it ceases and I know he is there trying to calm me, I am listening to him, I am just unable to control myself and the build I feel. Eventually I am able to release, I make a puddle. Even though I am calmer, my body is still responding and going back into overdrive. I don't know what is happening to me and why it happens but it is. The following night I have the same issue, it makes me emotional and he tells me he knows my change now, my orgasms and squirting are more apparent, they are new to me and intense as a result. I am emotional by this point. He tells me I am unable to control things inside subspace, I feel like I am disappointing him in some way and I am doing something wrong. He says that isn't the case, he is holding me close as he does. I feel my inner despair and turmoil, it is filling me with darkness, I know I will freak if I let it consume me. I tell him I need him to spank me. He does, I feel an immediate release in my tension, it doesn't hurt, I just feel like stress is leaving my body, my mind, my heart and my soul. I needed it. He helps me with every impact, he doesn't do it for long. I am OK before long.

I have so much to explore on my journey, with and without him although the majority will be with him, when I say without him it is something that is perhaps part of the future which we have talked about a number of times. I don't want or need anyone else in play, certainly not sexuality and I get very emotional when it is even mentioned by him. So far everything we have explored I am feeling very much into. There are some things I completely pop to and I know he will help my explore more of those parts. In respect to everything else, I will try anything twice because you never quite know the first time. We are to live together in less than 3 weeks now, it will be very interesting to see how things go for us both, it will for sure be a massive learning curve because we are very early on in our relationship. We are not only in a D/S relationship, we are a full partnership. I want this to work more than anything, I am madly, soul deeply in love with him.

[theglowstickchronicles]

*clears throat and begins to sing Adele* Hello. It's me.

Anyway. It's been a few days since I've posted because things are Really Not Okay here in healthcare. I just finished a 7 day stretch, 5 of which were 12 hour shifts in direct patient care. I was off today for the holiday and have been doing paperwork since getting out of bed. And this week promises to be potentially even more hellish.

Approximately 50% of our dayshift RN staff is out with covid, and 1/3 of our day shift aides. We had 5 RNs scheduled both Saturday and Sunday but were able to finagle 8 both days between overtime, flexing to cover assignments for a few hours, and prayer. Fully staffed we have 10 nurses but beggers can't be choosers at this point. Our unit is 50% covid positive patients, 25% medical, and 25% surgical (or was... we sent a CABG and a crani to the OR this morning).

I dodged a covid bullet this past week. The two assistant managers on the stepdown unit are two of my closest friends, and both of them worked Thursday. Typically we would all be working close together and would try to sneak in some office time together, but I had an assignment in the ICU. Both of them have tested positive for covid since then.

This weekend was a nightmare between inappropriate admissions and transfers, RRTs, patient movement to get our bio containment set up, and just overall not the strongest crew to be working with. Extremely needy. Needed charge to solve their problems for them (it's me, I was charge).

My educator coworkers also royally screwed me. I was told repeatedly we were moving to an online format of a cardiac arrhythmia class. The previous ICU educator taught a two-8-hour-day class with printouts that were extremely hold and had been photocopied so many times they were difficult to read. I had initially said I wanted to redo the class because even I had trouble knowing what some of them said. I was told by my two central educator coworkers for the last month: oh no, don't do that, we are moving to online!

Then last Wednesday I was told well, we are doing online but need to do some in-person supplemental. I said I cannot do that because I have not viewed the online course (it's 14 hours long) and did not have time to do that before Tuesday (tomorrow), when the class is scheduled. I said we can do the in person class but I need to plan this TODAY because that was my only day free that I could prepare. They said don't worry, we will view the online course and develop and teach the supplemental, you are off the hook.

Thursday morning these same coworkers send a "high priority" email asking if I am available to teach the two 8 hour day in person arrhythmia class. As I am in ICU with an assignment. I ignore the email.

Then Thursday my boss came back from vacation and said she did not authorize the online version, did not authorize even the online plus supplemental, that she had explicitly told these two coworkers that I was completely in charge of arrhythmia and should be making all of these decisions. Also, the online is $150 per person which is an outrageous amount of money for us to be paying for this course each month since we go through staff like nobody's business. Also also, we do not even have access to the online class and won't by Tuesday, especially since Monday (today) is a holiday.

So Thursday, as I'm in CT scan with my intubated covid positive patient, I get a call from my boss telling me all of this. I also discover that there is no room booked for this in-person arrhythmia class.

Of course Friday I had to work on bio containment, the TAVR program, and ended up in an aide assignment when we lost another aide to covid. And Saturday and Sunday I was charge on our short staffed stepdown. So today... my one day off in the course of 12 days... I am designing a new cardiac arrhythmia class.

I am beyond pissed. Now I volunteered to work the floor this weekend (for double time), but I was under the impression that I did not have to be involved in this class. And now I am the only one doing ANYTHING for this class. AND we were only able to get a room booked for one day so I don't even know what I'm going to do Wednesday. AND stepdown is supposed to bio contain tomorrow and are crazy short staffed, ICU just bio contained Friday and is short staffed, and I still am approximately a month behind on all of my paperwork because I keep getting pulled to do other stuff.

My boss and other leadership has been extremely accommodating for me and have said they pretty much don't expect me to produce any educational work that isn't urgent/emergent. I am really just pissed at these two coworkers who screwed me by lying to me and trying to gain control of a class that my boss had already told them I was in charge of, on a day she was out of office.

Okay end rant.

Anyway just wanted to let y'all know I am still alive and for now don't have covid. I'm sure my time is coming in the next few weeks. If I'm sick for my birthday I will lose my shit.

[doc-pickles]

i swore i wouldn’t do this

Don't you smile at me and ask me how I've been

Don't you say you've missed me if you don't want me again

You don't know how much I feel I love you still

So why don't you, don't you?

hello so if you saw me accidentally post this on friday no you fucking didn’t. also I only have two brain cells so if some of my TS fics seem similar ignore it. anyways enjoy!!

xoxo nina

When a knock sounds at her door Jo isn’t shocked. Link was proposing tonight and she knew if things went south that she would be his first stop. She picked Luna up from her rocker and settled the infant against her chest. Another knock sounded and Jo couldn’t help the groan that left her.

“I’m coming, hold on,” Jo unlocked the heavy oak door and pulled it open. “I swear you’re more impatient than-”

Jo’s words died on her tongue, eyes widening as she took in the sight of her ex husband standing before her. Alex was wearing a dark suit jacket, presumably coming from Maggie’s wedding. Jo can’t help the way her heart speeds up at the sight of him.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“You’re here. In Seattle.”

“You have a baby.”

Jo finally looks away from Alex to glance down at Luna who’s happily drooling on her hands. Her eyes are pointed up at Alex, as if the ten month old knows how important he is.

“This is Luna,” Jo looks back to Alex and her heart falls at the look on his face. “I just finalized her adoption papers last week. Her mom was my patient.”

She knows exactly what was running through Alex’s head, that she’d had his daughter and not told him as some sick form of revenge for what he’d done to her.

“Do you… want to come in for a beer,” Jo glanced at the near empty penthouse behind her. “I don't have any furniture yet but…”

“Sure,” Alex followed Jo, shutting the door behind him as she set Luna in her pack and play. “I can’t believe you’re in Avery’s place.”

“Well Schmitt and Helm took over the loft and that place wasn't exactly baby proof,” Jo grabbed two beers from the fridge, handing one to Alex who was leaning against the wall. “You’re in town for Maggie’s wedding?”

“No. I mean yes I’m here for the wedding but I’m not in town,” Jo is silent as she stands across from him. “Jo, I’m so-”

“Don’t.”

“Jo-”

“No Alex. I can’t do this today. Or ever actually. I just….” Jo took a deep breath as she turned away. “I know you think apologizing will fix things but it won’t. You should just go home to Izzie, okay?”

“I’m not… Would you just let me explain?”

“No,” Jo paused, narrowing her eyes at Alex. “You said more than enough in your letter.”

“Come on Jo!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want hope, Alex! If you stand here and apologize and tell me why you did what you did then I’m going to be filled with this…,” Jo paused, struggling to find the words to express her feelings. “This stupid false hope! Because despite what you did there’s a stupid part of me that loves you still and it is a big part of me. A big stupid part of me. So just don’t say anything, okay?”

There’s a startling silence as Jo and Alex stare at each other, both with wide watering eyes and gaped mouths. Finally it’s Alex who breaks the silence.

“I bought a house.”

“In Kansas?”

“No, in Seattle.”

“Why-”

“Because I miss you. And I miss Meredith and the kids and non stop rain and ferry boats and long nights at the hospital. And I hate Kansas.”

“Alex-”

“And I love you too. I never stopped and I don’t think I ever will Jo,” Alex sighed and met Jo’s eyes. “I know I screwed us up and I’m sorry. But you mean… Everything to me Jo.”

“And what about Izzie?”

“We were never… I don’t know why I lied and said I was in love with her. Maybe to make it easier for you to move on?”

“I slept with Jackson,” Jo bites her lip, waiting for Alex’s outburst at her confession.

“I don’t care Jo.”

“You have kids.”

“Who are excited to spend summer and holidays in Seattle.”

“I have a baby.”

“Jo, when are you going to realize none of this changes how I feel about you?”

“You left me! You left our life together and you didn’t even answer my calls.”

Alex stood, taking a small step forward and reaching his hand out to Jo, “I know, but I came back. I’ll always come back to you Jo.”

Jo watches him for a moment, silently debating on whether she would take his hand or not. Finally after a long silent moment she steps forward into his embrace. There’s an audible sigh of relief from Alex as he wraps his arms around her, lips pressing into her forehead.

“So this house…”

“It’s no penthouse but it’s got a big backyard and lots of bedrooms.”

Jo looked up and met Alex’s eyes with a grin, “I’ll go anywhere if it means I’m with you.”

“I’m realizing that a little too late.”

[hollanderfangirl]

Nothing lasts forever |Harry Holland|

A/N: K, I wrote this for you. @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh congratulations on 1k!!! I wrote this through a writer's block so yeah not my best work

Warnings: angst, mentions of divorce, Harry being a dick

Word count: 3k

They say love conquers all. But it’s not that simple, is it? You meet, you fall in love, you think that love is enough and when things start to go downhill, you realise that it isn’t, after all. It’s the effort, time, circumstances, along with hundreds of other things. You make promises of being together forever but nothing lasts forever. Nothing. And when the promises break? You get your heart broken. But a heart that’s broken is a heart that’s been loved. How can something so perfect, something that brought you so much happiness, something you thought would be yours forever, go so wrong?

When you and Harry got married, everyone knew you were one of those couples who make you believe in ‘together forever’. You had met when you were teenagers and neither of you thought the relationship would last even six months. But there you were, seven years later, having the most extravagant wedding, vowing to never leave each other’s side and to support one another through it all.

The first two years of marriage was a honeymoon period, you both were having the best time of your lives, going on dates often, cooking together, falling asleep next to each other, you wondered how you even got so lucky. You joined him on most of his trips, you both travelled across the beautiful cities of Europe and America together and nothing else really mattered. You loved him more than anything in the world, and he loved you, what else did you need?

When your work was piling up, you knew that you had to go back, although neither of you wanted to leave each other. He was away from you more often, working on sets and filming his own movies, but you were quite used to it to say the least. Spending away nights of frustrations all alone, with no one there for you. But you didn’t complain, you could never do that. You could never stand in the way of Harry and his career.

Two years later, on Christmas Day, you held your daughter in your arms, a healthy and beautiful baby. You and Harry had never been more happy and overwhelmed.

“So what should we name her?” he asked you while gently rocking her to sleep.

“Noelle,” you smiled. “She really decided to make Christmas even more special”

Over the years, you were so proud of your little family, you would often look at Noelle and Harry, playing or reading together and the ‘father-daughter bonding time’ as Harry liked to call it. She was more fond of Harry than you, and that was why it was even harder for her than it was for you. You regretted it so many times, you didn’t want to give it all up, to give him up. But it was becoming so difficult, taking care of a small child all on your own, along with Harry acting like a child himself. It was far too much responsibility than you could handle. You loved him, you really did, but love is never enough.

Now you were cooking in the kitchen with Noelle sitting on the counter, reciting her lessons from school.

“But mommy! We have holidays coming up now!”

“Yes and you will have all the time to play and enjoy, ok?”

“And there’s something else too,” she giggled.

“Oh is it?” you pretend to think.

“Yes! It’s my birthday”

“That’s right, you’ll spend your birthday with grandma and grandpa and your uncles”

“Will daddy be there?”

“Hopefully yeah,” you sigh.

“Will you be there?”

“Of course, sweetie. Mommy would never miss your birthday party,” you pinch her cheeks.

“Why don’t you and daddy ever want to meet?” she speaks up after a minute.

“Baby… daddy and I…” you honestly didn’t know how to phrase it. “We just kind of don’t… talk anymore, you know?”

“Like Tina and me?”

“Yes, exactly like you and Tina”

“But you told me that I should not be angry at her and we should become friends again”

“That is for you, the thing between me and daddy is much more complicated”

“What does complicated mean?”

You chuckle, the questions never end.

You step out of the car into the bitter cold December wind in front of the Holland household. It had been a while since it had snowed this heavy, and you were worried if you would be able to drive in this weather.

“Here you go,” you say as you hand over Noelle to Sam.

“Gosh it’s so cold today, what are you even going to do?” he asks you.

“Go back to the office I don't really have anywhere to be”

“You're gonna work through Christmas? Take some time off, why don’t you stay with us?”

“Sam no-”

“Come on, y/n. How long will you keep avoiding him this way?”

“I- ”

“And what about Noelle’s birthday?”

“I’ll come and visit for a few hours on 25th”

“Y/n, this will always be your home too, with or without Harry. We would love to have you over for Christmas”

“Mommy please, I’m feeling cold out here,” Noelle says reaching out her tiny hands out to you from Sam’s arms.

“Okay fine,” you laugh.

As you get inside the house, Noelle jumps off from Sam and starts running into the house.

“Daddy!”

“Oh my little princess I’ve missed you!” you see Harry run from the living room, picking up Noelle and kissing her forehead. “How have you been? Have you been good? Otherwise who’s gonna get all the gifts?” he pretended to say in a childlike voice.

Your heart warmed up at the sight, your lips curling into a smile. It had been so long since you had seen the two of them reunited like this. Everytime you went to drop Noelle off at Harry’s house, you just waved from the car, not even caring about what happened afterwards.

He seemed a little surprised to see you there and you weren’t sure if it was a good surprise or not.

“Y/n… hi”

“Hey Harry”

“You um changed your hair”

“And you’re wearing the same old sweater”

“No this is a new sweater it’s uh-” he says trying not to continue with an awkward silence. “It’s the old sweater,” he shrugs, making you smile

"Y/n! What a surprise," Nikki calls you from the living room. "It's so nice to have you here over Christmas, everyone misses you so much"

You walk over to meet everyone as Noelle calls Sam to the side.

"Hmm what's up?" he asks the little girl.

"I know how mum and daddy can talk"

He lets out a laugh. "What? And why's that?"

"Mommy said that she and daddy don't talk anymore and that's the only problem. We just have to find a way for them to talk and become friends again"

"What's your plan, genius?"

And then she told him.

After dinner that night, you were sitting on the front porch with Sam. He was your friend, someone who you could always turn to. All of Harry's family was like that. When you both got divorced, you thought you would lose contact with the Hollands, you didn't want to lose them too because they were just like your own family but the bond didn't change, Sam helped you get through it, just like he helped Harry and he was the one who had tried to resolve things between you both.

"I still don't understand. You both were doing just fine, better than fine. All of you were so happy, what even happened?"

"Sam… Harry and I haven't even talked about what went wrong between us. Everytime we tried to talk, something came in between"

"Then talk now, you have plenty of time"

"How does it even matter now?"

"It does. I've seen how miserable you two are, you don't even want to see each other. I know you both still have something"

"We have Noelle," you say as a matter of factly.

"You know what I mean. You both love each other"

"See that's the thing with love. Love doesn't help me take care of a four year old all on my own, Sam. She misses him so much. She just keeps asking me when she'll get to see her father. He never made time for us"

"I know he's been a kind of a jerk"

You raise an eyebrow at him.

"Okay a big jerk, but he cares about you and Noelle. I'm not asking you to get back together but at least talk and resolve whatever beef you both have"

"We can't"

"Why?"

"It's just… I don't even know"

There was a long silence. If it was summer, you would have been hearing the crickets chirping but at this hour of a cold winter night, all you could hear was the faint distant noise of the faraway traffic.

"How about this, you both go out tomorrow, just for an hour or two, hang out, talk, just say whatever you had been holding in all this time"

"You're setting us up on a date?"

"Not a date. You both just need to talk, right? So you just need some alone time"

"Has Harry agreed to this?"

"He definitely would"

"No, it'll be too much. And what about Noelle?"

"What about her? We're all here to take care of her. You just go and talk this over"

You lay awake at night thinking about the happy times you had with Harry. How did things go so so wrong?

Two years earlier

"Harry, the opening ceremony is on Friday, it's huge for the company!"

"Yes I know, love. I really wish I could make it"

"What… do you mean?"

"I'll be leaving for Atlanta two days from now"

"But it's important to me and everyone will be asking for you"

"I'm so sorry, baby but I have to go"

"You've done a great job, y/n. Where's Harry? I'd love to meet him," your manager asks you at the after party of the opening ceremony.

"He couldn't make it tonight. He really wanted to be here"

"Where's your husband, miss y/l/n? This is such a big day for you!" another one of your colleagues asked you later that night.

"He's really disappointed he couldn't be here but duty calls," you tried to hide your loneliness and sadness through a smile.

"Y/n! I haven't seen Harry tonight…"

"How's the movie coming up?" you were talking to Harry at 2 in the morning, time zones were driving the both of you crazy.

"It's going great! The location is amazing, I think we could shoot the whole film here. I just wish you were here I miss you so much"

"I miss you too, just come back home," listening to his voice seemed to make you even lonelier.

"I will," you hear music playing in the background and the noise of people cheering and talking.

"What's happening there?"

"Ah they're throwing a party in my honour, it's been such a success-" you heard a woman laugh right beside him.

"So are you having a good time?"

"Yes I am I just-"

"Then you should go back to it. Bye"

"But y/n-"

You were still working when he came back from the airport and you immediately rushed home after you were free.

When you saw him, you felt as though you were seeing a stranger. He looked different and he felt different and he looked tired than ever. Nevertheless you jumped on him and hugged him tight, making sure he was real.

"Oh god I've missed you, more than you could ever know," he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

"Really? Then show me how much you've missed me," you say as you lead him into your shared bedroom.

"I'm so sorry I missed your opening, darling I really wanted to be there"

"It's alright, we have another celebration next month, you can meet everyone there"

"Oh I can't make it to that either, I have to get away again after three weeks"

"But you just came back! And Noelle is just two years old, how do you expect me to take care of her and go to work?"

"There's nothing I can do, y/n. The contracts have already been signed. This is my big break, it's important to me"

"And our marriage is not? Your daughter is not?"

"You both are the most important to me," he put his calloused hands on your cheeks. "But you knew this was what our life would be when you married me"

"Everything has changed since then, Harry. We have a child now and we're so happy here. Why do you have to go away halfway across the world for months"

"Nothing has changed. I still love you the same and our careers are still as important to us as before"

"You could have at least talked to me about this"

"Yes I'm sorry. Everything will be alright once I return, I just have to go now"

Harry couldn't focus on work that day. He just kept replaying the conversation he had with you before leaving.

'I can't lose her. I really can't," he thought. 'Oh my god I love her, I love her so much. We have to find a way to make this work'

And ten thousand miles away from him, you sat all alone on the bed, thinking, 'this will not work, we're so happy, why does he want to give all of this up?'

"We're not teenagers anymore, y/n. Now I want something and you want something else, our worlds are different"

"So we just let it go?"

"I'm not saying that we have to let anything go, but it's my career, y/n. For the first time in my life, things have finally started to move and I don't want to lose anything"

"Harry… I have always supported your career. I have always supported your dreams. But you can have everything you want right here with me and Noelle. You don't have to leave"

"You're not even trying to understand"

"I'm understanding everything. I can't do this anymore, I'm not another one of your fans, Harry. I can't just keep on chasing you like this"

"Ice skating? Really?" you say as you see the long sheet of ice that lay on the ground in front of you, there were only a few people as it was a cold day. Everyone was probably snuggled up in bed with some warm coffee rather than going out on a date with their ex husband.

"We can go somewhere else if you want, there's a restaurant-"

"No this is fine. After all Noelle chose it"

He helps you put on your skates and you both hold each other, trying not to lose balance until you reach the ice rink.

"Ah that's it," he lets go of your arm but still holds your hand in his.

"Wait what did you mean Noelle chose it?"

"You don't know your daughter, Mr Holland. She's grown up to be quite the matchmaker," you laugh.

"You remember how we used to come here?" you smile at the memories, you and Harry used to go ice skating almost every week in winters. Although neither of you were the best at it, you loved the times you spent falling and laughing and later on having hot chocolate in each other's arms.

"Yeah," he tries to hold your other hand as well. "You remember the Christmas Noelle was born? I miss taking her out ice skating"

"Of course I remember," you sigh. "Eighteen hours of labor, and I was alone. You couldn't even make it in time for the birth of your own daughter"

"She was supposed to be born in January, how could I have known she would come in so early?"

"Well you always have the excuses ready, don't you?"

"It's not an excuse, it's more of an explanation. The flights were all booked, I mean it was Christmas! And I did reach the hospital in time"

"You reached the hospital when she was all cleaned up and in my arms"

He stays silent for a few moments and then speaks, with a gentler tone. "Y/n I'm sorry, I really am"

"You always said that, yet you never did anything to understand what went wrong"

"I was just so caught up in my life, I mean… there was so much work. I know I didn't spend much time with you both and-"

"It wasn't even about spending time, Harry. The thing is, you were never there for us. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. Even your brother understood that I needed someone but you didn't. You're just so-" you choked on the words.

"I know, and all I can say is that I've messed up, big time. I know you can't forgive me"

"Oh I've forgiven you a long time ago, Harry"

His hair was all messed up from the wind, going wild in all directions like a crown on his head. His nose and cheeks were turning red from the cold and all you wanted in that moment, was just kiss him. You wanted to feel his cold lips on yours until they turned warm. You wanted to hold his hair in your fingers, you wanted to touch him, you wanted to feel him. You wanted everything you once had. You wanted him back.

"I remember everything about you, you know?" he spoke up. "How can I ever forget? I remember how much you loved reading and how you hated it when I left my clothes on the floor. And how you keep your socks on during sex"

"You just had to bring that up" you roll your eyes and laugh.

"The thing is, I love you. I always have, even now when we're.... over, I still love you. I never got over you"

"Harry-"

"Y/n, what we had, it was something else. You're… the only woman I've actually ever loved in my life"

"And you're the only one who I've loved in my life. But we can't go back now"

"Why? Why can't we give it another chance? Give us another chance?"

"It didn't work the first time, why do you think it'll work now?"

"I don't. But I'm miserable without you and we're different now. I've lost you once and I'll never make you feel like I'm busy for you, ever again"

"Are you sure? I'm tired, Harry. I'm so tired, I really cannot go through this if everything goes wrong again"

"It won't. I promise you, let's give us another chance, please?"

You looked into his eyes and you knew the answer.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:｡:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

🌻

Taglist

@mischiefmanaged011 @notsosmexy @drie-the-derp @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @thisetaernallove @calltothewild @fancyxparker @peterspideysstuff @musicalkeys @theliterarymess @hollands-weasley @tommysparker @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @parkerpeter24 @more-like-reyna @hollandbroz-n-haz @aqiise @sarcasticallywitty15 @spiderrrling @theonly1outof-a-billion

[lavaffair]

A secret santa fic for my secret santa @ideasthatbuildcities​! Pregnant Kagome and inugang on Christmas! @inusecretsanta​ @iyfss​

I hope you like it! I had so much fun writing this. Happy Holidays :)

Read it on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332135

or read below!

***

Thursday, December 24. Christmas Eve. 2:00 PM

“Hello.” sang the soft and comforting voice behind the phone.

“Mama!” Kagome greeted excitedly, “I finished it.” She placed her phone between her shoulder and ear, cranking her neck to the side just to look at her creation.

“Just in time too! Was it easier to finish after I helped?” Her mother asked curiously. Kagome smiled, beaming at the bundle of fabric in her hands happily.

“It definitely was mama. Who knew sewing a little fire rat robe would be so difficult?” She placed the red robe back onto the table and held her phone to her ear again. Noticing the slight soreness coming from her neck she rubbed it with her hand. While working on the robe she would absentmindedly tilt her neck to the right and keep it in that position for a long time.

“Hmm. Although it may not be made by the same materials as Inuyasha’s I believe the difficulty to make both versions is the same.” Her mother laughed lightly, “But I’m sure it came out great! You need to send me a picture before you bag it, dear.” Kagome could hear her mother fumbling in the kitchen with what she could only assume was tea. It was past time for breakfast, and still too early for lunch. She knew both her mother and grandfather would be drinking some tea around this time like they did every day.

“It’s almost identical! I am glad he keeps it in our closet. Easier for me to borrow it and to put it back where it was.” Kagome placed her mother on speaker and opened her camera app. Her mother was preoccupied with handing her grandfather his cup of tea, which allowed her to snap a few photos of the mini fire rat robe.

Happy with the way her photos looked, Kagome bunched them all in one message and sent them to her mother. A wispy chime came from her mother's phone echoed into her ear and she heard a loud gasp.

"Kagome! He's going to love it!" The crack in her mother’s voice could not be hidden which caused tears to prick into Kagome's eyes. "I can't believe you made me a grandmother, although I knew it would happen one day. Now for Inuyasha... he isn't going to believe he's going to be a father." Kagome wiped the stray tears falling from her eyes and was eternally grateful that Inuyasha was out with Miroku at the moment. He never likes it when she cries, and he always tries to get to the bottom of the situation so he can mend it. Whether he caused her to cry or it was an outside source, Inuyasha would do his best to comfort his wife.

"He won’t believe it but he's going to be the best father ever." Kagome sniffled as she continued to catch her tears. "He's been on his feet the last week checking up on me because I've been so emotional." It was particularly difficult to hide her excitement on learning she was going to be a mom. Inuyasha's nose is sensitive thanks to his demon blood, and he has been concerned for his wife. For the last month Kagome's been moodier as she has caught herself getting upset at things that never bothered her before. As the days went on, she started feeling sick in the mornings and had to take off running towards her bathroom with her husband right behind her.

At the time, Kagome was beginning to have her suspicions, but she was not ready to fully think about it yet. Her thoughts would linger on the possibility of her being pregnant, and in turn her anxiety would flare up. Inuyasha caught every mood swing come off her and he was starting to get frustrated on how useless he felt when he tried to help his wife. When Kagome had brought up her plans to go visit her mother at the shrine for the weekend, Inuyasha perked up immediately and supported her idea all the way. If he could not figure out how to help Kagome, maybe her mother will. Moms knew how to fix almost anything, and Kagome's mom was well known for her skills in parenting. While Kagome went back home for the weekend, Inuyasha stayed home and continued as usual with work and did not suspect anything more. He knew she was going to be in good hands.

"I still can't believe we found out on Saturday." Kagome said in disbelief. A little smile formed at her lips at the memory.

"I still can't believe you were in denial." Her mother teased in good spirits.

The young woman laughed, shaking her head in reply. "I believe it was more fear of the unknown than denial, mama." Her fingers lightly smoothed out the fabric in front of her, "I didn't know what to think." Now finished with her project, Kagome began to put the red thread and needles into the small tin bucket of sewing supplies.

"Meanwhile I knew immediately the minute you showed up." On the other side the phone call, her mother sat down at the table and sipped her tea. Smiling fondly at the memory of the moment they both found out the news. Unbeknownst to her, her daughter was doing the same thing as she cleaned up her work area.

When Kagome had arrived at the shrine that Friday she was weary of how she felt and how to tell her mother. Luckily for her, her mother was as observant as ever and picked up on her daughter immediately. The lack in appetite and the anxiety coming off of her made it easier for her mother to come to her conclusion. It was not until the next morning when she found her daughter heaving into the toilet that her suspicions turned real. Her mother sat her down in her old bedroom and looked at her knowingly.

"Kagome... are you pregnant?" She remembered her mother asking. Their hands were tightly held within each other’s and Kagome knew her mother could feel her shaking.

"I- I don't know? I think I am but... I'm nervous to find out." Kagome admitted. Her voice began to waver from the nerves, and her stomach was flipping into knots. Could she really be pregnant?

Why don't we take a test? Would you like to?" Her mother asked in a soft and reassuring tone. Although Kagome was nervous beyond belief, her mother was helping her feel comfort in the mess of anxiety she was feeling. Hesitantly, she agreed, and they quickly left to the pharmacy to buy the pregnancy tests. They decided to buy four tests, just to be sure there were no duds when she took the tests and they made their way back to the shrine.

Everyone was home when they arrived back, and that only made Kagome more nervous. Her mother squeezed her hand tightly before letting her daughter lock herself in the safety of the bathroom. It was a shaky and uneven experience but Kagome was able to get all four tests done. She opened the door to let her mother in as they patiently waited for the results to show up. Kagome hugged her mother to find comfort, and her mother hugged her and rubbed her back.

As they waited, the nervousness Kagome felt was starting to be replaced with excitement at the thought of the tests being positive. She has always wanted to be a mom and once she met Inuyasha the need only grew more. She knew the two of them would make great parents to their hypothetical children, but she had not expected it to happen around this time. They had been married for almost two years, and they are careful when they have sex but there are days when they both get very carried away. As unexpected as this was for Kagome, she is a little surprised this did not happen sooner.

One minute felt like eternity as two lines began appearing on all four of the tests and Kagome's breath hitched in her throat. She squeezed her mother harder in reaction to the scene in front of her, a huge smile decorating her lips. Both women began laughing from happiness and shock while tears fell freely down both of their faces. They made so much noise that Kagome's brother Sota, and their grandfather came running towards the bathroom in alarm.

"What has happened here!?" Her grandfather asked in alarm. Sota looking confused as well, he peeked into the bathroom and stared in amazement at the four white tests sitting on the bathroom sink.

"No way! Sota exclaimed, his eyes almost bulging from their sockets. Kagome no way! Her brother hopped excitedly.

"What is it Sota?" Asked his grandfather who still did not understand.

"Gramps, you're going to be a great gramps now!" Sota practically yelled in the older mans ear, his mother and sister too busy crying to give either of them a good explanation. Grandpa Higurashi watched as his daughter in law wiped his granddaughter’s cheeks free from tears as his own began to fall.

"Oh, Kagome! He wept with a big smile on his face. "You have made me the happiest grandparent on earth, to be blessed with a grandchild while I am still here with you all!" The older man hugged his crying granddaughter as tightly as he could and happily wept at her shoulder. He had always wanted to be a great grandparent but he had not expected it to happen yet. He knew with his oldest granddaughter there would be a possibility, but he was getting older and weaker as he clung onto his wish.

"Of course you would have a great grandchild, grandpa! You will not be leaving us yet." Kagome sniffled as she hugged her grandfather back, the only other remaining male member of her family. The only other man who resembled her late father so closely, along with her younger brother Sota.

"You excited to be an uncle?" Kagome beamed towards her brother who was now coming in to give her a hug.

He laughed loudly, a hint of nervousness still lingering within him, "My niece or nephew are going to have the best uncle they could ever ask for." He sniffled, "Be ready to raise soccer stars."

Kagome laughed at the fresh memory of her unexpected announcement and felt so lucky to have such a wonderful family by her side. As she placed the tin can back into her supply closet, she went to grab the green holiday bag that would hold the small fire rat robe. "I can't wait to tell him." She squealed with her mother still on the line. She heard her mother laugh and could practically see her beaming with a cup of tea in her hand.

"Tell us about it tomorrow at dinner. I need to know how he and everyone else finds out." Her mother reminded her. "I want to know it all!"

"I promise mama. Inuyasha and I will be there around five tomorrow. I can't wait for dinner either." Kagome folded the red bundle neatly and placed it at the bottom of the bag, just above the single pregnancy test wrapped in tissue paper. She covered the red robe with more tissue paper and hid the little bag underneath her side of their bed. "I'll see you tomorrow mama. Love you."

"I love you too, dear." The call ended, and Kagome was left alone in her bedroom again. Inuaysha would be home soon, and she needed to clear up the scent of her tears so he would not worry when he came home. Some time to air out the house with the windows open should do the trick.

December 25. Christmas Day. 6:00 AM

Kagome and Inuyasha had awoken to a light snowfall in the early morning of Christmas. It was a cold morning and Kagome did not want to get out of her warm bed, much to Inuyasha's complaints. Out of the two of them, Kagome was always the one to sleep in while Inuyasha was the early bird. There were mornings where she could easily convince her husband to sleep in longer with her and cuddle the morning away, while other mornings he would stay in bed with her after a long night of rendezvous. Either way, she loved when he pulled her closer to him to breathe in his scent and feel his natural warmth, something she was desperately missing on this winter day.

The half demon poked his sleeping wife's cheek gently, with just enough pressure to get her attention on him. "Wake up, Kagome!" He loudly whispered, "Everyone's gonna be here in two hours. You hafta get up!" He urged her by continuing to poke her soft and squishy cheek.

His sleeping wife groaned, "Get back in bed… they can wait for us..." She groggily replied. She could feel the pad of his finger poking at her face, the longer he did it the more alert she became. She growled in annoyance at her husbands successful attempts to wake her and she wished her growls could be as terrifying as her husbands were. She freed one hand from the warm confines of their fluffy blanket and slapped his hand away. This only led to further failures as Inuyasha's poking stayed in place since he was much stronger than his sleepy wife.

"Inu..sha... noooooo." His sleeping beauty complained, "Stop ittttt." Her attempts to sound mad were failing, as she could hear herself sound more like a muffled child than an angry woman. She slapped at his hand again but instead was pinned down by her very annoying husband, who had decided to lay his entire body on top of hers.

Kagome opened her eyes and glared at his amber ones who were filled with mischief. "Why." She sounded fully awake now!

Inuyasha laughed at her, "Since ya wanta stay in bed all day when we got people comin', I guess I'll get into bed too and humor ya." He snuggled into her, his arms incasing her head between them as he laid his head into the crook of her neck.

"I can't breathe you know." She laughed, "You wouldn't want to squish your wife would you?" She decided to poke his cheek in retaliation to his earlier actions. She felt him growl at her playfully, his body making hers vibrate along with the sound.

"'Course I don't. I'd rather she get her lazy ass up instead." He teased. He licked her ear in another attempt to try to get her up and he felt her body jolt as his tongue flicked her earlobe a second time. The dainty hand that was poking his cheek now pushing at his chest to get him off of her.

"Okay! Inuyasha, stop!" She giggled, "You know that tickles! No!" She shrieked, making his ear flatten onto his head as he started tickling her sides.

"Do ya promise!" He boomed, laughing at her expense. He knew his girl well, and if gentle pokes did not get her up then torturing her with tickling will. He could feel and see her squirm in protest as she tried to push him off of her, laughing and gasping for air. Her uncontrollable laughter was contagious as he too laughed along with her, grinning wickedly because he knew she was trying to give him an answer.

"Yes!" She gasped, "I swear!" Her laughter growing louder, "Please stop!"

Inuyasha's grin only widened, "That's not what ya tell me when I'm on top of you in other ways!" He was mesmerized the way her eyes scrunched up as she laughed, and at the way her lips looked while she laughed. Whether she was laughing by force or laughing in reaction or something, Inuyasha knew he was one lucky bastard.

She gasped at his reply, "This is different! You know I hate tickles!" She giggled cutely, "Inuyasha!" Tears fell from her eyes now and they made her pillow wet. God, she hated getting tickled!

"Awright!" She heard her husband yell, and then his tickling fingers stopped. Kagome opened her eyes and gasped for air, her husband looking as smug as ever. "Good morning sleepy head." He kissed her on the forehead, on her nose, and then left a lingering kiss to her lips. "Merry Christmas."

Annoyance quickly subsiding, Kagome kissed him back. "Merry Christmas. Now get off of me." She requested, even though it sounded more of a demand. Inuyasha quickly got off of her and pulled her up with him. Watching as his beautiful wife rubbed at her eyes and yawned like a kitten. She stared at him sleepily before getting up to stretch. She could feel his eyes on her, burning her and lighting her up on fire which only woke her up faster.

"Man.. if the gang wasn't comin' over so early I'd take you here an' now." He eyed her hungrily. Kagome blushed, loving the way he still could give her that reaction after being together for so long. She walked up to him and kissed him once more, soft and lingering and filled with love.

"Maybe after dinner you can get some desert." She winked up at him. His white, fluffy ears focused just on her and standing up on command. "Inu," she kissed his lips again, "Could you make me some hot chocolate?"

He pulled her closer in and kissed her again, never getting tired of her sweet taste. "Comin' right at cha." She gave him the smile that made him fall in love with her, the smile only made for him before turning around to head to the bathroom. Immediately walking to the kitchen to make her favorite drink, he added some extra mini marshmallows in the mug because they were her favorite. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo would be here within the next hour and a half and they had a long day ahead of them. He could hear Kagome humming from their bedroom, the water running while she took her shower and hoped she did not take as long as she normally does.

Inuyasha stirred the hot contents inside the mug, careful to not spill any marshmallows before setting her cup aside. He went to pour in some hot coffee into his own mug and stirred in some sugar. He heard the familiar squeak of the shower knobs turn and was left surprised at how quickly Kagome finished up, his silent wish being granted. While he waited for her to get dressed he sat down on the kitchen island and drank his coffee, his only entertainment being their twinkling Christmas tree and the steam coming off of Kagome's hot chocolate.

After a few minutes he heard little footsteps coming from his bedroom and the scent of vanilla and strawberries that followed it. From around the corner Kagome walked out already dressed and holding a little green bag. Inuyasha quickly picked up on her nervousness and got up to meet her halfway. "Kagome? You okay?"

Kagome looked into her husbands amber eyes, concern etched within them and her anxiety subsided a little. She can admit she was nervous about how he would react. She knew he'd be excited, and very happy about the news but she also knew that he never thought he would be a father. Inuyasha has been alive for over 650 years, and when he had first told her she was a little in shock but quickly put it aside as he was part demon and all. His older brother being a lot older than him, and still alive. Demons and humans had lived together peacefully for a very long time, and Kagome found herself falling in love with one.

Inuyasha had had a very hard and unfair life, especially in the earlier times of it. With him being half demon, he was victim to prejudice and thousands of attempts of people and demons trying to kill him. He survived it all and survived to see the attitudes towards demons change from humans. He still gets mistreated by individuals from both sides due to being born half human and half demon, but he has met many more who accept him for who he is. He has found a family within friends who accept him, a loving and beautiful wife he does not deserve, her amazing family, and he has also mended his relationship with his full demon brother.

"Hey, I wanted to give you your first gift in private." Kagome started, her voice giving away how nervous she was. "It's your biggest gift of the bunch." She smiled. Kagome handed him the little paper bag and watched as he worriedly and excitedly placed the bag on the island and began opening it. He kept looking at her to make sure she was okay, as he could still sense her anxiety.

"Is this why you've been so nervous this week?" He asked her. He carefully took the tissue paper off of the bag and heard her breath hitch and slow down, her reaction answering his question.

Inuyasha looked at her one more time before he dug into the bag and felt fabric at the bottom. Confused on as to why clothes would make his wife so damn nervous, he pulled the bundle out of the bag and was met with a small red shirt. "What?", he quietly asked himself. Careful with his claws, he unfolded the red shirt and was surprised to see that it was not a shirt at all. It was a smaller version of his fire rat robe. He eyed the item carefully, knowing that the only way this could be made was by Kagome herself.

"I-" He started, "Kagome..." Inuyasha's eyes widened as realization hit him like a truck. This small fire rat robe was small enough to fit on an infant, and why would Kagome make something so small if there was no infant? As his amber his met her brown ones, a smile formed onto his face. Before saying anything more he investigated the bag once more to see if he missed anything. There wrapped in red tissue paper was a plastic pregnancy test, with two blue lines bold and clear on the results screen. The half demon immediately pulled his anxious wife into his arms and held her tightly.

"No way! Babe, we're pregnant?!" Inuyasha excitedly yelled. He took her face into his hands and left kisses all over it, making sure he kissed away the tears that were falling from her eyes. Her hands cupped his cheeks and she looked into his wide, excited eyes.

"Yes Inu, we are pregnant." She laughed as more tears formed, "You're going to be a dad Inu."

"Yes!" He boomed loudly, his voice echoed in the kitchen as his picked up his crying wife and spun her around. "I'm gonna be a dad!" He kissed her, "You're gonna be a mom! My kids gonna have such a great mom!" He took her lips once again into his and kissed her with so much love and desire. Out of all the time he was alive, he never thought he would ever become a father to a child. When he met Kagome, he knew he had his shot because he finally found a woman who loved every part of him. He had found someone who would love him unconditionally, and therefore would love their child with even more.

Not letting go of her, he reached for the little red robe and stared at it. "When our kids born I'll haveta take it out and wear my old robe with theirs." He wiped another tear from Kagome's eyes, "Kagome. My wife, the mother of our child. God, I love you." He pulled her into his chest and felt her arms wrap around his neck in an embrace.

"This is the best gift you have ever given me, and you have given me so much. No one else has ever loved me the way you do. Has given me a chance to live happily, to make friends, to trust others more." He kissed her forehead, tears spilling out of his own eyes now. "I feel like I was born just for you, and all the bullshit I had to go through my life has led me to you and only you."

"I love you, Inuyasha." Kagome said muffled, her lips hidden within her husbands warm embrace. She lifted her head up tp stare back at him, the smile made just for him on her face. "I will love you and our baby forever, unconditionally, and with all the love I can give you both."

December 25. Christmas Day. 8:30 AM

After some quick freshening up and some makeup both Inuyasha and Kagome did not seem to look like they cried at all. Once dressed and prepared the couple quickly got started on preparing breakfast for themselves and their friends. Every year the group opens gifts in the mornings and share breakfast together, each year the location changes and this time it was hosted at the Taisho's.

As soon as the pair were finishing up with preparing breakfast, their friends had arrived all together with boxes wrapped in festive paper and bags full of goodies. Inuyasha helped Miroku place all of their gifts below the tree while Sango and Shippo helped Kagome bring the plates to the table. The house smelled amazing, and the morning chill outside had no match to the warm and cozy atmosphere inside of their home. After finishing up with the tea everything was ready to eat. The group of friends gathered at the table and enjoyed the delicious homemade meal. After Shippo and Inuyasha fought for seconds and Miroku brewed some more tea it was time to open presents.

Once everyone sat around the Christmas tree the volume in the room intensified with everyone speaking over one another. A lot of "Pick me to go first!" and "Where did you put my gifts?" were being thrown around the room back and forth. Kagome was growing impatient and irritated with how no one seemed to listen to her and clapped her hands loudly. "Alright, alright!" She noticed Inuyasha's ears flick at her loud clapping and she blushed, "Sorry Inu," she apologized.

Kagome stood up and tossed some pillows at everyone in the living room, "We will go one at a time and exchange gifts in order. We still start from the person closest to the Christmas tree. Which would be Shippo." She sent the fox demon a friendly smile before sitting back down next to her husband, who was playfully whining about going deaf from his wife's thunder like clapping. She lightly swatted his arm in reply, "I'll give you something to whine about."

She swore she heard him say "That a threat or a promise?" but chose to ignore it.

Shippo grinned cheekily and grabbed four little boxes from under the tree. "Open them all at the same time, wait for my signal" he practically jumped like a rabbit as he handed each person a box.

He sat back down on his cushion and opened his arms as his signal. He watched excitedly as his friends revealed the frames of pictures they had all taken together throughout the years, reveling in the gasps and praise they made. Shippo was the youngest looking of his friends at 20 years old, although he was very close in his demon age with Inuyasha. He had lost his family when he was only a kit and lived the majority of his life alone until he met Inuyasha. There were many moments where they would butt heads and argue over small things but as they grew the arguing faded and their relationship as brothers progressed. Due to his lifelong friendship with Inuyasha, he met Miroku, Sango, and Kagome and they have all become his family.

"Oh Shippo!" Kagome and Sango cooed, "This is so thoughtful of you!" Kagome finished.

Miroku agreed, "Shippo this very kind of you to make."

"Oi, Shippo..." Inuyasha asked grudgingly, "What's the meanin' of this eh?" The half demon pointed at another frame of Inuyasha and Shippo together where it was clear that Shippo had drawn him with clown hair, make up, and a nose.

"I had to make our picture together a little more accurate." The fox demon grinned at him. He quickly ducked down at the molded paper ball Inuyasha threw at his head.

"If it were accurate ya should have drawn yourself with diapers and a pacifier!"

"Boys, boys please. If you want to kill each other do it outside." Sango chimed in. The demon boys grumbled and said nothing more, "I guess it's my turn!" she sang.

Sango revealed three boxes and handed them to Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo which caused the three recipients looked at Miroku in confusion. "Sango, you're not going to give Miroku his?"

Miroku laughed, although it sounded more like a cough while Sango blushed deeply and looked away, "Sango uh... gave me my gift already." Miroku explained.

"Ohhhhhhh!" The curious couple yelled in unison, while Shippo could be seen shaking his head with a sly grin on his face.

"No wonder you've been so under control, Miroku!" The fox demon teased. Miroku cleared his throat and chose to stay silent while Sango's face rivaled that of a tomato.

"Oh just open your gifts already!" The blushing woman squeaked before taking her spot back next to her fiancé. The three teasing friends all laughed but it was quickly drowned out by the sound of ripping paper. Many ooo's and aaa's were heard echoed around the living room as the boxes were opened. Each box was filled with different items for each individual person, each carefully picked out by Sango. Kagome's box was very pink and glittery. The box was made up of cute and subtly scented bath supplies since Kagome loved to take baths and some of her favorite candy. For Inuyasha, his box was filled with instant ramen, Chapstick, and socks.

"Ya really got me socks huh?" he asked with a huff.

Sango nodded with a huge grin on her face, "Well until you stop walking barefoot everywhere and conform to slippers, I think socks are a good middle ground for you."

Inuyasha heard Kagome giggle which caused him to roll his eyes in return, "Thanks for the extra ramen."

Shippo gave no time for anyone to reply because of his loud, excited gasp. "It's a box full of food!"

Miroku laughed, "Babe you're such an enabler."

"Well," she pointed towards Inuyasha, "I did give him a shit ton of ramen, and Kagome more bath time amo... but they're addicted." She shrugged.

"It can't be helped Miroku!" Kagome followed, "We're lost causes. Just give us what we need to survive and keep moving."

"There's lollipops and honey butter potato chips" the fox beamed, "Sango thank you, thank you, thank you!" He hopped in his seat like an excited puppy.

The group laughed in unison and as the wrapping paper was tossed together in a pile, Miroku handed everyone their small gift bags. Miroku was very simple when it came to gift giving, he always had been. Miroku was a pretty simply guy; the only thing he really cares for is Sango, sex, and success. He likes to call it the "The Three S's".

Sango, Shippo, Inuyasha, and Kagome opened the little boxes where a bracelet with three purple beads lay inside. "They are protection bracelets," Miroku started. "We all know I come from a line of monks, and as unholy as I am in some cases I can still stake some claim. If you wear them, you will always have protection. Master Mushin and I made our prayers for a few days on each of them."

Overcome with emotion. Sango leaned towards her soon to be husband and gave him a chaste kiss. "Now I see why you wanted me to open this one here." She leaned her head on his shoulder, "Thank you my love."

"How the hell did two lechers make somethin' so holy and sacred? Mushin's got half of what you have when it comes to bein' holy!" Scoffed Inuyasha.

Miroku laughed, "You know as they say, two halves make a whole." Everyone groaned in unison, and the raven haired man received some eyerolls from almost everybody in the room.

"Right! Well, Inuyasha and I are last!" Kagome beamed happily. She shot up from her seat to go fetch their gifts when a clawed hand gently brought her back down. She stared at Inuyasha, confusion painted onto her face. She watched him stand in her place instead with a huge smile on his face. "Inuyasha?" She soft asked.

"Before we give you guys the gifts under the tree, I wanna show you what Kagome got me." His smile grew wider, "Its gonna blow your minds." He walked into their bedroom as fast as a bullet and left everyone but his wife in confusion and curiosity. The anxiety was coming back into her, but it was quickly being drowned out by her excitement of their announcement. She and Inuyasha both knew their friends would be supportive and as excited as they are.

As quickly as he came Inuyasha appeared by Kagome's side with the little green bag. "Kagome made me somethin' really cool," he began to dig into the bag. "She worked all week on it and I wanted to show ya before I put it on." Lifting out the little red robe, he dropped the bag near Kagome and used both hands to fully show off the small clothing. He watched proudly as everyone's eyes widened in pure shock. Besides him, Kagome stood up in a fit of uncontrollable giggles, "Surprise!" She shouted. "We're pregnant!" In her hand laid the positive white pregnancy test.

Sango got to them first, and successfully almost tackled her best friend down if it were not for Inuyasha's hand on her back. "You're pregnant!" She shouted, "You're going to be a mom! I'm going to be an aunt!" Together the girls began to jump up and down as they became overcome with emotion. Tears were spilling down both of their faces as they celebrated within their own little bubble.

Inuyasha stared at Sango with an arched brow, "What about me?" Suddenly he was pulled into the hug by both women with an expression that held instant regret. "Yeah I shouldnt'a asked."

"My friend!" Miroku spoke next, "You are one of the luckiest men alive. Marrying Kagome, and now expecting a child." He stood up and patted his long time friend on the back. "We are both very lucky men."

The half demon let out a pained grunt from being crushed by his wife and his best friends fiancé. "I don't feel too lucky at the moment, monk!" He was able to push himself free from their grasps as they continued their insane bear hug. Shippo was next to walk up to him with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes. He took the red fire rat robe from Inuyasha's grasp and held it up.

"You know if I had this back when we first met we would have looked like a dynamic duo." Shippo started, "But then I'd look too much like you." He handed the little robe to Miroku so he could see the hard work that Kagome put in it.

"Who's the one who ran away every time I fought a demon?" Inuyasha sent him a shit eating grin, "Cause it wasn't me."

Shippo was going to counter back, but the squealing behind the men stopped and two watery eyes women appeared before them. Sango grabbed the little red robe from Miroku and admired it fondly. The rest of the gift exchange was completely forgotten by the turn in events. The room was filled with love and excitement at the announcement of their friends incoming member of the family.

"Merry Christmas?" Kagome cheered with a stuffy nose.

"I'll be a little corny here but this is definitely the best gift of the night." Miroku stated matter of factly. "We will have a new member of our family soon."

Shippo laughed, "I can't wait for that! We'll be the best uncles ever!"

Kagome pulled Sango into a one-armed hug, "And they will have the best aunt ever."

The group continued giving their last set of gifts from the exchange. The final round from the married couple were just as amazing, but the best gift of the day was still voted as the pregnancy announcement. As their morning continued, and the gifts were all opened and set aside they decided to watch The Grinch as they do every year. After this Christmas, things would never be the same again. Next time the holidays come around, there will be a new family member to spoil with love and presents. Hopefully with some little white ears to match.

[lonelyfujoshi]

Errink

Ink left again. He left Error all alone again and Error wasn't happy.

Error was in the living room watching his favorite series. Crying his nonexistent eyes out.

"Asgorooo!" He yelled, reaching for the TV screen when the scene of Asgoro having a heart attack played.

The pillow he clutched in his arms was wet with tears. Looking at him was laughable. Seeing the former destroyer cry easily like this.

In all honesty, the film wasn't the only thing he was crying about. He just decided to watch Undernovela to express his emotions while Ink was away.

Ahh, yes. Ink, the God of Creation.

He and Error had been dating for six years now. Almost seven. Two weeks from now will be their anniversary and Error couldn't help but be nervous of that.

Why?

He's been thinking that Ink is loosing interest in him. Error is scared.

He loved Ink with all of his life. He gave up destroying for the God of creation. He left the anti-void to live in their house for him. He tried doing good things out of his character for him.

He just loved Ink dearly.

And it all started ten years ago during Giftmas.

It was a special holiday for all monsters in the multiverse and the light and dark side has an untold treaty that no fight or attacks during this holiday.

No one established the rule, no one wrote it, no one spoke about it. It was just there. Monsters understanding the importance of the holiday.

Error sat on the cliff of Outertale where the stars shone to its brightest. His glasses on with his new galaxy scarf.

He sat there, enjoying the silence even when you can still hear the distant jingle in the town.

And Ink appeared.

Error scowled when the creator made his way to where he sat. He glared at Ink.

The creator however ignored the mean glare telling him to fuck off and sat down beside Error with a large grin. To close for the black skeleton's liking.

"What in the hell you doing here skittles?" Error grumbled harshly.

"Nothing much glitchy~. Just wanted to see the stars in this lovely night."

"Then go sit somewhere else. Don't ruin my night."

The smaller skeleton summoned his strings and began to play with it. Waiting for Ink's retort but it never came.

He looked up to see Ink staring at him with a thoughtful expression.

"... Nah." He finally said and Error wanted to hit the Ink blob with the brush he always had.

"But you know Error, tonight's Giftmas. I've given every monster I've encountered a gift to be traditional." Ink continued, looking up the sky.

Error glared at the string that somehow became tangled in his fingers and mumbled stuff like; "Who the hell asked?", "I don't give a fuck.", "Go do more of that and leave me alone."

Ink ignored his rude comments and summoned a window to his subspace. "So I thought... maybe I should give you a gift too."

"Hah! Did you really think that I'd want a gift from you?"

Again he was ignored as Ink continued to look for something in his subspace.

Error's socket twitched with annoyance. Watching Ink's body halfway through the window portal already, digging deeper into his pile of garbage as Error liked to call it.

The dark skeleton was about to push the lighter skeleton into wherever the window led because of his annoyance but Ink pulled back with a victorious laugh.

"Found it!"

Before Error could react, Ink placed the thing he got in front of the destroyer with a great big smile in his handsome face.

Error stared at it... Ink waiting for his reaction patiently.

In front of them was a pair of slippers. Red fluffy slippers that hugged your feet like socks and it had strings on the hole to tighten the hold if needed.

"Really?" Was all that Error could say. He didn't know what to feel about it. Ink, his supposedly mortal enemy, had just given him a 'gift' for some reason.

A pair of slippers no less. Error could tell that these were top quality and made for comfort. And how he loves comfortable things. The little sparkle in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Ink.

"Well go on! Try it!" Ink encouraged.

Error grumbled but complied nonetheless. He threw his strings away carelessly and grabbed the red slippers, put it on and stilled.

"Ehh? What do you think?"

The darker ignored Ink's teasing tone and wiggled his toes.

"It's okay I guess." He said.

And that was a fucking lie.

'Oh my GOD! THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE! I'M IN LOVE!' He screamed in his mind.

Unknown to him, the creator could see his softened look and the brightening of his eyes. The destroyer even unconsciously smiled.

Error looked up to see Ink staring at him with another one of those unreadable look.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Don't tell me you expect something in return cuz I ain't giving you anything. And you can't take these back!" He hissed.

Blinking, as if snapping out of trance, Ink made a confused noise before laughing.

"What the fuck? What is it rainbow asshole?!"

"Hahahaha haha.. hahhh... I-It's nothing Error. I just realized something."

"Tell me what is it."

"I like your smile."

Even with his fucked up memory, Error remembered this.

He remembered that the next day after that night, he anonymously sent Ink a puppet version of the creator. Ink soon found out it was from him.

Since then the lighter skeleton never initiated a fight. He acted all buddy buddy with Error which pissed off the darker to no end. It frustrated him greater than his frustration with the 90's parasite.

Ink messed with his emotions. The creator popped up in his mind in random times that he thought he was finally becoming insane. He thought he was.

Three giftmas holidays passed and Ink surprised Error with a confession. The glitch outright crashed the moment the words that Ink said, I like you, was processed by his 'brain'.

Error fled the moment he came to, in Ink's arms. He thought he was gonna die because of how loud his soul pounded. It actually hurt his ribs.

For a month he couldn't stop thinking of Ink and he didn't even realize ha had fallen for the creator. He also locked himself in the anti-void. Time passed and he decided to go out and destroy. Maybe to let some steam out.

Ink was there. Wherever he go, Ink was always there, wooing him.

Every sanses and their counterpart in every universe knew about Ink chasing Error, courting the destroyer, asking for his love.

Ink was very sweet in those times. Always giving Error presents even when the glitch thought it was weird because it's not even Giftmas.

The next giftmas came and Ink knelt in front of Error. They were surrounded by the bright stars of Outertale.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Ink said and Error was looking sick at how blue his face was.

His soul pounding. Emotions overflowing even though he was extremely confused with himself. He didn't know what he is feeling or what he was supposed to feel but everything felt right.

Even his inner voice telling him to say yes. 'It's not like people are lining up to hang with me anyway.' Was there as an excuse.

"Fine."

He never regretted agreeing.

Now though, Error was really worried.

It's because of the event that happened two weeks ago.

Since Error lived in the same house as Ink, the taller had always made time for him. His schedule was simple enough.

Leave for work in the council every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Leave the house by nine am and come back at around seven pm. Sunday is their special day as they usually go on dates.

Error usually stays in the house or visit Blue while Ink is away. Other times he goes AU hopping and going to Nightmare's castle.

Until this peaceful cycle was disturbed.

"Where are you going?" Error asked softly. He just woke up from his nap on the couch and he was rubbing on his sockets to help him wake quicker.

Ink was putting on his scarf and fixing his shoes by the mirror making Error confused.

"I'm just going on a meeting babe." Ink simply said with a smile.

"But... it's Thursday."

"Yeah, I just got called. Said it was an emergency."

After seeing the worried look on Error's face, Ink went up to the smalled and kissed his lover's face.

"Don't worry, it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be back before four so have lunch without me."

Error nods. "But wait." He holds Ink's arm.

"Let me prepare your lunch."

"No need babe. And I'm in a hurry so I gotta go." Ink said with a wave before he jumped into a portal.

By Saturday, Ink left again saying that he had to meet up with Reaper.

Error thought nothing of it because Reaper, being a God, sometimes meet up with other gods to see how the multivers is going.

And he thought, 'Oh, it's been a long time since I've been able to visit Geno. Maybe I should now that he's finally alone.'

Error planned to stay there for at least three hours so he got some chocolates, ketchup for Geno, blankets and puppets.

He puts them in a handmade bag before jumping into a portal.

"Hey, Geno! Thought it might be a good time to visit since Reaper-... Reaper?"

"Hey Error. What's up?" Geno greets him.

"Uh... the ceiling?" Error was still very confused that he couldn't come up with a proper reply.

"That would've been good pal, it's just that this place doesn't really have a ceiling." The cloaked skeleton beside Geno chuckled.

"Why are you here?" The dark skeleton asked.

"Job's slow today so I decided to visit my bea. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Geno too."

"Great, the more the merrier." Reaper said unenthusiastically. Clearly he wants some alone time with his 'boyfriend'. Well soon to be anyway.

"Uh heh, nice to see you again then, Error." Geno said awkwardly while Error stood there still.

"Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting with Ink?" The former destroyer finally asked.

"A meeting? Wha- Shit! We have a meeting?!" Reaper abruptly stood up, startling Geno.

"You forgot." His 'boyfriend' deadpanned.

"I didn't forget, I just didn't know." Reaper frowned.

"Uh maybe you should hurry, he left.. like an hour ago." Error said.

"Crap. I guess I'll see you later babe. Have fun with Error." Reaper left with a wave.

"Wow." Error and Geno said at the same time. They looked at eachother and laughed.

Half an hour later, there was a blanket fortress in the save screen. Two skeletons inside it, eating condiments and chocolates.

The 'screen' was blocked by Error's massive one way window portal and the watched Undernovela.

A portal opened and Error quickly lift the blanket up a little to see who it is.

It was Reaper.

"Oh hey Death, you finished your meeting with the creator?" Geno asked. He helped Error lift up the blanket.

"... Uh. No. I couldn't find Ink."

"WhAt?"

To be continued

[fuck-customers]

Holy Shit Buckle Up Y'all

(TW: mentions of transphobia, racism, and self-harm)

A little backstory:

In November we hired three new people to help with our workload around the holidays, and we've kept them on. Two of them are very hard workers, have great personalities, and nice work ethics. The third, who I will be referring to as J.....does not.

She constantly asks to switch shifts instead of putting in for time off or changing her availability (said that its "inconvenient" for her to change it), if you're even a minute late to covering register for her when she's supposed to get off, she'll just abandon the register and clock out and then shop for thirty minutes, and she is constantly walking away from her post bc she's "bored" and "doesn't feel like working" when there are literally people in line.

So about two weeks ago, she scheduled for five days off. Sweet, shes learning. She then proceeds to call off the day before her five days and the day after. So now she has a week off. Dick move, but I can't say no one has done it before.

Her scheduled day back is a Wednesday. She texts one of my coworkers, P, and asks her to take her shifts for Wednesday AND Thursday. P agrees because she wants more hours, but all of us, including the managers, are irritated now. This is now nine days off she's gotten.

On Wednesday, I got a text from her asking if I could take her shift Friday. Now as of this point, I've been sick all week - hacking my lungs out, not able to breathe, but working bc we're short staffed (bc of her) and bc I need the money. I had Friday and Saturday off for the first time in MONTHS so no way in hell was I gonna take it. I just said no, firmly.

She continues to pester me, asking why, since I don't work Friday I should be able to, etc, and I kind of snapped:

Which, okay, maybe I shouldn't have snapped like that. But I was exhausted and frustrated and so sick of her getting to do this that I just couldn't take it anymore. I expected her to call me a bitch and then ignore me but hoooooo boy nope. (Names are blacked out) (and if this many photos aren't allowed feel free to delete this submission)

First of all, the racism comment:

She was buying cigarettes and even though shes a coworker, I have to ID her bc she's 19 and I can get fired for that shit. She told me she had lost her ID and asked to just put her birthday in. My manager said it was fine, so I did, and I made the offhanded comment about how she should get a new one so she didn't get pulled over by a racist dick while driving. We live in an area where the cops just looovvve to profile people (if you know Ohio, you know where) and I'd had that conversation with so many of my friends that I didn't even think about it, I was just concerned about her getting home safely to her kid. She didn't react negatively at the time, just said "oh I didn't think about that, thanks" and we moved on. If she had really had an issue with it she would have spoken to our managers, so clearly she's only bringing it up now to scare me. I just.....I mean obviously if I am being racist I want someone to tell me so I can fix my actions, but I didn't even think that came off that way in the moment. Maybe I was out of line, but the same thing has happened recently to my 16 year old cousin (he's fine dw) and so its been on my mind.

Second, no, I am not a manager. But aside from four other employees, two of which only work part time, I am one of the oldest members of staff (time wise, not age wise, I'm 23). So the managers put me in charge of a lot of shit, which means that I end up being in charge of people. Which apparently she did not like.

And third no, I do not have a kid. I'm not married, I don't have a partner, and I barely have the income to make half of rent with my roommate sometimes. I would not bring a child into this world if I could help it, and it pissed me off that she would imply that if I had a child, I'd be more mature. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that if having a kid makes you more mature, it clearly didn't work for her. I feel so bad for her kid; he's like two, and she's already constantly using him as an excuse for not doing things and not going to work. She lives with her mom and her boyfriend, so she has a support system (her mom is retired, and a very sweet lady). Like again, I don't have a kid, but all my coworkers who do don't pull this shit ever.

Anyway

I was physically shaking by the end of these texts, crying, because I HATE when people yell at me, especially when they know me IRL. And especially cause she was accusing me of some nasty shit. I sent them all to my manager in the least professional set of texts I'd ever written and then two hours later had to go to work.

My depression was up, my anxiety was through the roof, and as soon as our floater manager asked me if I was okay I burst into tears again. I showed her and the closing manager the texts and they were both appalled but then

They fucking started trying to "comfort" me by making racist comments!!! "Oh, thats just what her people are like" "you know she grew up in the ghetto part of town" "that girl is straight up hood" like!!!!

I was furious. I was so mad it wasn't funny, but they're my MANAGERS and i need this job and they're both old, so they don't think what they're saying is wrong. I tried desperately to derail it by saying things like "where she grew up had nothing to do with it" but they just kept going and I just....that made it so much worse tbh I just walked out of the office to do my fucking job.

A couple hours later, right as I've started to calm down, one of my coworkers started making really transphobic comments about one of our old coworkers who I'm still friends with, deadnaming her, saying that she's allowed to deadname her bc its part of her religion, etc etc.

Y'all I just....walked behind the photo counter and had a fucking meltdown on the floor. I dragged myself to the pharmacy to get their trash so I had SOMETHING to focus on and as soon as I got there the tech took one look at me and held out her arms and I just lost it again.

I go to my manager and basically just ask to do trash and go home. I was supposed to close, and I have left early only once in my life, when we were too dead to need me, but I had just mentally had it. I knew that if I didn't leave in that moment I wasn't going to make it to the end of the night without hurting myself.

She agreed, I finished trash, and got one of my friends to come pick me up.

My GM texts me the next morning (Thursday) and says she's giving me PTO for the hours I didn't work Wednesday night and for my day off on Friday. I almost cried again bc I was so stressed about the money.

Fast forward to a week later, today, and J still has a job, but she has now also called off 16 days in a row. Claiming she's still stuck in Texas with her kid (which was why she was asking to trade shifts last week).

I don't know how much longer my GM can hold out before firing her. I really don't.

Tldr; coworker asks me to take a shift for the hundredth time after calling out for a week, I say no (albeit a bit rudely), they start screaming at me via text, and I have a mental breakdown.

[thiscoffeelooksbiracial]

financial check-in week of 12/4

So I made it through the holiday week. I would have fared better if I hadn't visited the fam, but togetherness is worth spending 4x what I normally would on food.

I did spend a lot last week once my check posted. This was spurred on by only needing to pay $372 in rent this month. The office put my holding deposit towards the rent so I had money to burn.

The smart thing to do would have been to save a large chunk for my middletown rent, but I am not smart. Instead I put the money towards furnishing the apartment. I managed to get a tv stand, baker's rack, and microwave for $231 shipped. I also placed two La Colmbe orders for black friday, so I've got coffee for a while. I also bought exercise equipment, drip and pour over coffee makers, and some groceries from amazon fresh. I originally planned to save these purchases for later, but now I can budget for other expenses.

Major expenses to be covered by the check on 12/8:

Klarna: $54.27

Paypal: 85.04

So I'll need 139.31 after expenses in my SoFi account to cover my payment plans. The great news is that these are the final payments for those orders🙌🏾

I plan to go back to middletown this week. I have $118 in my sofi right now so after my paycheck I'll have $518 if I don't spend anything else. Minus the recurring payments and savings funds is roughly $350 to put towards middletown rent.

I have $399 in my other account right now and should be able to take the 200 needed to cover the rent and still be able to pay for the apartment expenses only using that account.

If I manage to knock everything out this week, Then I can just chill up here next week until I need to head down for EOY shutdown.

I'll still be on track to start my accelerated cc payments starting the week of the 22nd. I might even start them on the 15th when my capital one cards are due, just to start being disciplined. $175 a week would be $700 a month for my credit cards. Our credit will improve in no time. Once I start having more disposable income, I can afford to pay minimums plus that amount just to pay things down faster.

Then I can put that same amount towards an emergency fund. My goal is to be debt free with a 6 month emergency fund by the end of June.

[uwu-ouo]

I've been deemed the resident Book Dragon (not worm)

I have been using this wonderful OverDrive library app to it’s fullest capacity. I can comfortably read about 450 pages a day if I’m not distracted and about 200 if I am (so the former if Kevin isn’t home and the latter if he is) and I read pretty much every day, all day, so I go through books crazy fast, though for the past two weeks have had to read a book a day and set aside a week for the Inheritance Cycle (great series omg) and now I have 4 days to read 4 books. When Kevin is working a lot that’s no real problem except now that the holidays are over his part time job has become a lot more part time. I’m at the point to where I stay up all night reading I mean, I do that anyway but… to finish a book and then sleep in the next day and repeat. I downloaded 3 more books since the ones I’m reading will be done soon, and I want to be prepared in case Kevin has his phone at work and I don’t have the hot-spot to download more. How did I get in this situation? Well I put a lot of books on hold, and most of them had long queues that I was very far behind in, so to wait for them I built up a (now 4 pages long) wish list of series (I’ll do a list of series I’m reading or plan to read if asked) and started in on them, but noticed that I was reading one a day half the week, and going through my wishlist pretty quickly doing so. So I built it up more and started checking out two books at once instead of three, and doing this every night while Kevin was home. Then one night I checked out 7 books without checking my holds to see how many people were in front of me so I can try to guess at least a maximum time frame for some of them (bad idea) and that night 3 of my holds came in. Then another 2 came in, on top of the 6 I already had on my bookshelf, and then since it was the holidays I was suddenly a lot more busy than before and wasn’t able to read like I had the month I’d gotten it before Christmas parties started. So I read when I could and at night when I couldn’t sleep and got a few books done, but then 3 MORE holds came in, so I suspended almost all the rest and have been reading furiously so I don’t have to put any on hold and wait all over again. If something happens and I’m unable to hold to my rigid schedule (which seems likely since Kevin’s grandma is in the hospital and we visit her on Friday, plus we go food shopping then, and visit his newborn neice, as well as get weed and his work boots all in the same day) I’ve decided I’ll renew one or two books but not start reading them until they get renewed in case they go to the queue. And I’ve done all this happily. I’m genuinely content with reading this much, and kind of glad for the challenge. I’ll get so enthralled with my book that at night I often take off my glasses, get ready for bed, enlarge the font size, and read with my tablet on the charger until I fall asleep, and pick up right where I left off when I wake up. All this has earned me the title The Book Dragon™. I’m pretty happy about that.