#free rein fashion

[dovveri]

misunderstandings

bachelorette masterlist - part 1 ▸ part 2 ▸ part 3 ▸ part 4 ▸ part 6 ▸ part 7

synopsis: y/n watches the most recent episode of the bachelorette and is met with something she doesn’t like. sana also seems to be angry for whatever reason and it builds up into a big argument at the end of the night.

warnings: sex! overstimulation, fingering, scissoring, oral sex, degradation, choking, cursing

w/c: 7.1k

a/n: soooo sorry for the delay this will probs be my last update for a while bcs finals season is driving me up a wall (if u see me post another story or part its bcs im actually not studying and u should yell at me for it) i lwk hate the pacing of this chapter i feel like its everywhere but hey! we got some smut!

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the backlash wonsik gets online is more than satisfactory. apparently, with all the evidence piled up against him, he would most likely be sent away for the rest of his life. which is disgusting to think about, how much crime do you have to commit to get a life sentence? you try to shake those thoughts as you watch the most recent episode with the leftover contestants while sana’s on her individual date as usual. it was tradition now, even more so as the pool of contestants gets smaller and smaller.

after your day off, things had gotten right back to normal.

sana went on a solo date with jacky. good thing it was jacky too because they had the famous ‘conquer a fear’ date. who knew big, australian jacky was afraid of balloons. and in typical bachelorette fashion, producers came up with a romantic hot air balloon date for 5am in the morning.

costume designers had rushed into your room at 4am, turning on all the lights and pulling sana from your arms, not even casting you a second look now that they were used to seeing the both of you cuddled up and naked most of the time they had to come in and dress you.

you were barely conscious as they ran around frantically, pulling the covers over your head and groaning a little, trying to make yourself go back to sleep.

you’re sure sana didn’t feel the best either from the little grumbles and whines you can hear faintly as she struggles to keep her eyes open while makeup artists dab eyeshadow on her eyelids.

soon enough they're off and you drift back into sleep, only to be awoken a few hours later so you can get dressed and attend the group date for the day.

that was also pretty fun. everything was meant to be high-adrenaline, facing your fears, all that sort of stuff today. so the team had booked out a big amusement park and you all had free rein. it was also good because it meant you had a little bit more freedom, not everyone had to stick together so people ended up splitting naturally when they wanted to do different rides and you had even managed to sneak sana away from the cameras for a quick make out session in the toilets.

it was a pretty great day and would make for a nice and light episode after the mayhem that happened with wonsik. there was a rose ceremony as always but this time, only 2 people were eliminated. unfortunately you had to say goodbye to dae and nayeon, sana did say it was getting harder and harder to eliminate people because as the more time goes on, the closer you get, and when there's less people in the house, it also facilitates closer relationships. she had to eliminate those two simply because she felt her romantic connection with them wasn't as strong as it was with some of the other contestants. it was rough but that's showbiz.

after 2 more eliminations tonight, it would officially be the quarter finals meaning it would be time for sana to meet all of her last 4 contestants' families and close ones.

currently, you're enjoying an afternoon tea at the contestants' house. as usual, sana was on a solo date with jiwon but there wouldn't be a group date today because there wasn't enough time to film it. instead, the both of you were allowed a little sleep in after yesterday's rude 4am awakening, and a little more time in the afternoon to dress up before the rose ceremony tonight.

the episode had just finished with jacky and sana's date. jacky still won't go near a balloon and he's probably developed a fear of heights on top of that too now but at least it looked pretty on television.

you had teased him when the episode showed him nervously walking around and inspecting the hot air balloon before sana had to basically yank him into the basket. he had his eyes shut tight the entire time, holding on to sana for dear life while they ascended. it was a little cute when sana finally managed to get him to peek his eyes open once they reached their highest altitude, just in time to catch the sunrise, and in exchange for getting over his fear and not backing out of this date with her, she gave him a rose and kissed him on the cheek.

you heard afterwards from eunji that as soon as they touched back down he had jumped out of the basket and laid face down in the grass for about half an hour, just getting used to the feeling of being on the ground again.

they had caught a bit of him on the floor doing exactly that which was pretty hilarious because sana was crouched next to him, poking him and trying to get him to sit up but he just groaned and mumbled something incomprehensibly in response, his rose still clutched tight in his hand, stretched out in front of him.

they cut it off there though, maybe a little for jacky's reputation but you all knew how long he was there for.

after a short break where they show a few scenes of silly occurrences inside the house with the other contestants, and then finding out everyone was invited on the group date that day, except for jacky who was invited but ended up taking the rest of the day off to recuperate and basically laid in bed in the medical office, even skipping the rose ceremony since he already got his rose.

they shot everyone in the car on the way to the amusement park, asking the contestants what they thought was going to happen, if anyone was scared, trying to pull a few comedic clips together, all the anticipation scenes the audience needed to be excited for the date.

eventually, everyone's in the middle of the amusement park with sana and yourself waiting for them in casual clothes. you shift a little as you recall the way you had her gasping into your mouth and your hand up the blue polo shirt she’s wearing on screen only 20 minutes after the introduction and everyone had split off.

in the meantime, while the cameras were running around frantically trying to find sana, they had filled in the gaps with clips of the other contestants, you laugh when momo is practically dragged onto a rollercoaster by jihyo and jun, she’s kicking and screaming but they manage to strap her in and gesture for the roller coaster attendant to go. its one of those really fast ones where it goes from 0 to 100 in seconds so the force pushes all of them back against the seats, poor momo barely has the time to blink and then its over. she’s gasping with her eyes clenched shut while the other two are laughing and pulling her off and along to the next ride.

it’s great being able to watch what happened when you weren’t on screen, and also what sana was up to when you weren’t with her.

you laugh when they show all the contestants clambering onto the carousel, you had all taken some group pictures and some of them were more than silly.

eventually, you get to the rose ceremony, and just as you were on the night, your breath is taken away again with sana in a stunning red dress. she really nailed being on camera, her face was one that was meant to be on screen.

the night starts merrily, everyone's more of a family now, you’re all happy to drink and talk together, and it wasn’t so competitive to get time with sana anymore because there were less contestants.

you frown a little though when the camera shifts to sana and jihyo, they’re sitting very close in one of the more private rooms inside the house.

jihyo’s playing a joke and sana’s laughing, a little flushed, probably from the alcohol as she slaps jihyo’s arm lightheartedly. jihyo preens at the attention, grabbing another drink and offering it to sana who accepts it gratefully and takes a sip.

she hums in satisfaction before speaking up, “so you never did tell me how you broke up with that gym rat…”

jihyo’s laughing a little nervously, twiddling her thumbs a little, “right yeah… i just realised that i made the wrong decision. i was caught up in the newness of everything with him but after that got old, i realised i still loved-“

sana’s eyebrows are shooting up, she’s setting down her drink and clearing her throat.

“sorry.” jihyo flashes an apologetic look over at sana, but sana shakes her head.

“no no it’s okay. be as honest as you can, please. we’re both here because we’re looking for a relationship right? can’t do that if we have any skeletons still in the closet.”

jihyo’s smiling gratefully and then continuing, “he wasn’t it for me. that’s why i broke up with him. i’m sorry for the way i treated you sana, you didn’t deserve that, you never did anything wrong in our relationship and i never really gave you a reason to why we broke up. i hoped by coming on here i may be able to win back a second chance.”

sana hums again, taking a moment to think while jihyo nervously looks at her with wide eyes.

“jihyo… you hurt me a lot when you left.”

“i know! and i’m so so sorry for that! i never want to do that to you again, all i’m asking for is another chance sana.”

she’s shuffling closer, grabbing sana’s hands tightly and imploring with her eyes.

sana looks down at their hands together, taking a breath before looking back up, "look... i'm not going to lie to you... i never really did get over you completely."

what?

"and i wouldn't have kept you in here for this long if i wasn't curious about what you had to say and if i wasn't ready to give you a second chance."

what the actual fuck?

"it wouldn't be fair though. to the other contestants, y'know? if they knew you had a head start. and i admit i was avoiding you a little because i wanted to even the playing field and get to know everyone else first before revisiting this." she makes a gesture with her hands, signaling between the two of them. "so its nice to finally be able to sit down and get a clear answer about what happened in the past."

jihyo looks more and more hopeful as sana goes on, your hands only get tighter around the fabric of your pants. sana didn't tell you about this conversation last night. sana hasn't mentioned anything jihyo related. whenever you ask, she's always managed to change the conversation or misdirect you with the promise of sex. was this why? is this how she really felt about jihyo? did she think you would disapprove? well you do disapprove but that was besides the point.

all of the other contestants don't seem too shocked with this news. it's not too surprising though because they've all lived with jihyo and the one thing they all have in common is sana so there's no doubt they've all discussed each other's feelings for sana, and jihyo probably told them their history as well.

you're fuming though. you can't believe sana didn't tell you something this important. that you're finding this out along with the rest of the country when you were meant to be her best friend here, the one person who was supposed to know everything before everyone.

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the rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur. you can vaguely tell when someone comes up to you and tries to initiate or bring you into the conversation but your mind is swirling with information about sana and jihyo, their past interactions, whether you could decipher any of sana's feelings from observing her.

eventually, it's time for the rose ceremony again and you're still in your head about everything you thought you knew happened yesterday.

you have half the mind to pull sana aside and ask her about it but when you meet sana's eyes, she squints a little and looks away quickly with signs of a pout in her lip.

the night continues like this, the two of you stealing glances at each other only when you think the other isn't looking. when sana starts pulling jihyo aside though, you don't care if she sees the look of disbelief on your face, she doesn't seem to notice anyway, all cozied up to jihyo.

you're averting your head again and downing the rest of your drink in one gulp.

when it's time to read out who gets a rose and who's going home, you're stiff standing next to sana, she's purposely avoiding your gaze as well. the tension between you two was so thick jiwon had come up and asked if something had happened between you two. and technically nothing did happen so you don't really know why sana seems to be angry with you when you were the one who was hurt by yesterday's episode.

the ceremony is brief, you have to say goodbye to jun, and eunji unfortunately but you can barely give them a proper hug as you stare at jihyo who's now made the final four.

after your goodbyes you quickly make your way towards the car, tapping your foot impatiently while waiting for sana to finish saying her goodbyes so you could both go home.

unfortunately, that takes another 20 minutes and you're just about to tell the driver to leave without her when she's sliding into the car, still avoiding your gaze and sitting on the opposite end of the car. normally she's all over you, needing affection after a big day but now you're pretty sure if she moved any further away she'd be falling out the window.

that was fine though. it’s not like you wanted to have an argument with her while the driver could hear you anyway.

the car’s pulling in and she’s opening her door and stalking inside the house without even a second glance towards you.

what the fuck? why was she mad at you now?

you feel almost childish copying her actions and making sure to slam the door on the way in, but if she was acting like this for no reason that only infuriated you more.

you find her in the kitchen, tapping her foot impatiently and waiting for you to come in.

once you’re standing on opposite sides of the counter, you cross your arms and still. she’s leaning on the counter with her hands, staring you down. there was no way you were going to be the first to break. she was the one who had some explaining to do right now, not you.

sana's stubborn as well though, lips pursed and not backing down.

it goes on like this for a few minutes before you finally break, raising an eyebrow and asking coldly, "so do you have anything you want to say to me sana?"

sana scoffs, the tips of her ears red, "do you have anything you want to say y/n?"

"what? no! i don't even know why you're being like this right now! i'm the one who's been left in the dark here."

"oh you're the one who's been left in the dark huh? unbelievable that you're still lying to my face about this. is that how you really feel about her?"

"excuse me?! it doesn't matter how i feel about her! the whole issue is how you've been dealing with this situation!"

sana sneers, your voices getting louder and louder trying to top each other, "this again? seriously y/n? i'm my own person and i'm allowed to have opinions on who i like and who i don't like! if she's being weird or sneaky or whatever i'm going to call her out on it!"

you scoff, "yeah right. like you called her out on it last night? and tonight as well i bet. why did you take so long saying your goodbyes huh?"

sana goes beet red and you think you've got her, "what?! what are you talking about?! and i stayed behind to say proper goodbyes to everyone! not like you apparently who couldn't care less, you barely talked to anyone tonight, when jun, and eunji, who was one of your closest friends here right?! when they had to leave you didn't even look them in the eye when they hugged you!"

"riiiiiiiiiight and you expect me to believe that? you weren't cuddling up and getting a quickie in before you had to go right?"

"what?! what are you talking about y/n?! quickie- what?"

"with jihyo! you stayed behind to talk to her didn't you!?"

"what?! well yeah i did but what does jihyo have to do with any of this?"

"what?! i've been talking about jihyo this whole time what do you mean?"

she's slipping something out of her suit pocket and sliding it across the counter to you. your phone.

"are you fucking serious y/n? you've been talking about jihyo this whole time? what the fuck? why the fuck are you suddenly bringing her up? you're the one who's been going behind my back getting all flirty and friendly with miyeon! after you told me you were just friends?! calling each other babe and sweetie and honey in your texts, how the fuck did you even get her number anyway? how long have you been talking to her huh? how long have you been fucking me while talking to someone else?"

you're scrambling for your phone, unlocking it and scrolling to your messages with miyeon. fuck. sana must have read everything. you don't even remember leaving your phone behind but it must have been with her since the morning. you scroll down the texts and see the most recent messages miyeon has texted you today and you find that sana has been replying to her.

"are you serious sana?! why the fuck did you go through my phone?"

sana turns her head at that, pouting a little, "i didn't mean to! she just kept on texting and i thought it must have been something important if your phone kept going off so i just went in to make sure everything was okay! how was i supposed to know you were basically sexting her behind my back!?"

"we were not sexting oh my god sana! miyeon is my friend we're just friends!"

"why have you been keeping this from me then?! you must like her or something then don't you?!"

"what?! no! and don't talk to me about keeping secrets right now sana!"

"what secrets have i kept from you?!"

"hello?!" you're waving your hands around frantically, "the whole jihyo situation?! why didn't you tell me you never got over her?"

"i never got over- what?!"

"you said so last night! on national fucking television! don't play dumb with me right now sana, and don't try and change the topic on me!"

"i never said that! are you being serious right now? jihyo and i split and it took me a while but you were there for it all! you saw me at my lowest and you helped build me back up! i am over her!"

"why is she in the final four then?"

"oh my god y/n you cannot seriously still be talking about jihyo! i'm over her! the producers wanted her to make it to the final four because they thought they could add some drama in during the home visits or whatever! jihyo and i talked about it last night and i told her why she was still here because i didn't want to keep leading her on! that's why i stayed for longer after the rose ceremony, i just wanted to check on her and make sure she was okay with all of this because i still care about her! i loved her at one point in my life!"

"that's not what i saw in last night's episode!"

"what?!"

"yeah! you and jihyo were all close and snuggly and she told you she still loved you and you said you were going to give her a second chance!"

"y/n i never said any of that." the rage has lifted slightly now, replaced with confusion.

you're breathing heavily, tired from arguing, you and sana had more fights these few weeks that you've been filming than you've had your entire lives together.

you tap out of your messaging app, going to tiktok and searching up last night's bachelorette episode, scrolling past all the funny jacky moments and amusement park shorts, trying to find the part where jihyo and sana were talking. someone had to have posted about it.

"are you serious right now? are you fucking texting miyeon while we're talking?"

"what?! no! sana i told you miyeon and i are just friends! i'm trying to find a clip of you and jihyo last night to show you what i'm talking about!" you find one then and quickly hold it out for sana to see.

she watches the clip replay a few times while you wait defiantly.

after the seventh replay you take your phone back, sighing when you think she has nothing to say for herself.

“y/n…”

“want to explain yourself now? anything else you wanna divulge while you’re at it?”

“what? no y/n i didn’t say any of that. they edited that together. i didn’t say any of that to jihyo i promise.”

you look at her in confusion, looking back to your phone, and then back to her.

“i did pull jihyo aside and we did talk but i never told her that i didn't get over her. y/n you have to believe me baby i- i can call the producers right now, they'll clear everything up." she's reaching for her phone, but the immense relief that she doesn't still have feelings for jihyo washes over you and brings you to action. moving around the counter and taking her phone from her and wrapping her in a hug.

she stills against you, and you're both surprised when you feel your own tears falling down your face, the tension of the night finally getting to you.

"y/n..."

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry i do believe you. this all seems so silly now i hate when we fight. i overreacted with the whole jihyo thing and it could've been solved so easily if i'd just talked to you instead of..."

sana softens against you, wrapping her arms around your waist and carding a hand through your hair. "it's okay baby. i'll talk to the producers tomorrow and make sure they don't pull anything like that again. and after the home visits i promise jihyo is the one who'll be going home."

you sniffle a little, "you don't have to do that for me sana. i swear i was just being..."

"hmm?"

"i don't know i'm tired sana. can we go to bed?"

she hums against you, pulling you both towards the bathroom for your nighttime routines. once you're done, you're climbing into sana's bed and picking up your phone again, scrolling back to your messages with miyeon while waiting for sana to finish her routine and join you.

y/n: heyy sorry i just got my phone back, sana's had it the last few hours because i left it behind so if i seemed weird over text it's because she was messaging you

miyeon: oh it's okay! i did think you sounded a bit off but i just chalked it up to u not feeling well or something. was sana mad when she found out we were texting?

y/n: 😂 how did you know?

miyeon: well i was on the receiving end of her jealousy when she texted me today so that was one clue 😂

y/n: jealousy?

suddenly your phone starts vibrating and miyeon's name flashes across the screen. you pick up hesitantly, "hello?"

"y/n! hey! it's good to actually hear your voice again!"

you chuckle a little, "you too princess. what's up?"

"nothing really, i just wanted to see where your head's at with sana now."

"what do you mean?"

"remember the conversation we had the night i got kicked out? while you were drunk?"

you squint a little, shuffling around in the sheets, "kinda... why?"

"i noticed the way you looked at her, the way you talked about her, even on the first night i think the reason why no one suspected that you weren't just a regular contestant was because i thought, we all thought you also felt the same way we did for sana."

"w-what?"

"you might not have realised it... but i think you were beginning to see it when filming started. do you get jealous when you see sana with the other contestants?"

"i- well- i mean i kinda just thought i was friend jealous though. or like that i just wanted the best for her which was why i was so harsh on contestants in the beginning."

"the way you talk about her over text sounds like its more than that y/n."

"i don't- what- i'm not jealous-"

you barely register that sana's finished with her routine now, sliding into bed next to you and cuddling up immediately. "what are you jealous about?"

you freeze, looking at her like you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar in the middle of the night.

"is that sana?" you're broken out of it quickly when you hear miyeon's voice over the phone.

sana bristles though, moving away from you and frowning, "are you on the phone with miyeon?"

"i- yeah-"

sana's snatching the phone out of your hand instantly, bringing it up to her ear and speaking into the microphone with a cold sneer, "yes this is sana. can i help you?"

you can't hear miyeon respond but the way sana's speaking sends a lightning rod of arousal down your spine. your mind is still hazy with what miyeon's suggested, and you're thinking about how you hated seeing sana kiss wonsik, how blinded you felt when you thought sana still liked jihyo, what could this mean? how long have you liked sana for? has it always been this way?

you don't realise that sana's features have become less defensive as she talks to miyeon, almost apologetic even when she settles back down next to you, humming in response to something miyeon's said over the phone. she's within proximity again that you can make out miyeon's voice.

"-but i hope you've been doing well and taking care of yourself with all the craziness that comes along with filming."

"yeah thank you miyeon. really. and again i'm so sorry for all the misunderstandings and i hope you know that eliminating you was definitely a mistake and it was very short-sighted of me but i'm glad that we've finally had a chance to talk where i'm not completely hostile to you."

you can hear the airy giggle of miyeon over the phone, "of course! all the best with the rest of the season sana. maybe we'll see each other on the other side."

sana smiles, "definitely. goodnight miyeon!"

she hangs up and hands your phone back to you, going right back to cuddling as if nothing had happened.

you're trying to pick out what part of that conversation that you overheard bothered you when it hits. "eliminating miyeon was a mistake?" was this the jealousy again?

"weren't you the one saying that?" sana raises an eyebrow at you, brushing her fingers over your side.

"well- i-"

she's giggling now, "i'm just kidding. miyeon just put to rest everything that was on my mind so i have nothing to worry about. i'm sorry for overreacting when i found out you were texting her. you're allowed to have friends, sorry i was trying to micromanage that."

"what was on your mind?"

"hmm y'know... you mostly."

you whine, hitting her lightly while she laughs at you.

"she told me you were just friends and she never meant to make it seem like it was anything else. she also helped me... come to terms with a few things so i'm actually very grateful for that."

"what things?"

"so many questions y/n. are you worried i'm about to steal her away from you?" sana teases.

"what? no! stop teasing-"

she grins, poking your cheek, "i'm keeping that to myself for now okay? i'll probably tell you one day. just not today."

"why not?"

"just because." she smiles, "now let's sleep."

you grumble a little, confused at what miyeon could have told sana, confused with what miyeon told you. there was one thing you did want to test out though...

you lean in quickly and capture sana's lips, taking her a little by surprise but she's quick to reciprocate, closing her eyes and kissing you back.

you're aggressive, climbing on top of her quickly and licking into her. you're trying to figure out if kissing her made you feel anything more. anything that could clue you in on your true feelings for her.

she's breaking away from you panting though, pushing you back slightly when you try to chase after her again, "woah y/n baby baby slow down- what's got you all in a rush?"

your eyes are dark as you look down at her, friends don't normally feel like the world would end if they stopped kissing right? you needed to be back on her, in her, needed to feel her around you, needed to taste her, needed to memorise every single sound she made, you needed her. that was more than just lust right?

"just- just need you please-" you're leaning back in, almost begging.

"no- no y/n stop. tell me what's going on, you're not normally like this."

you groan, head falling to her shoulder, slumping against her. "something stupid miyeon said..." you mumble into her shoulder.

"what did she say?"

you huff against her, "that i had feelings for you."

you hear the gasp sana lets out, her hands at your waist tightening their hold and you groan into her, grinding down a little at the feeling.

she stills you though, hands sliding down to grip your hips, "stop that." her voice is harsh, and you're reminded of the way she talked to miyeon over the phone, all cold and annoyed. it only makes you drip more at the tone of her voice and you whimper a little.

"do you?"

"do i what?" you're distracted, wanting only to kiss her again.

"do you have feelings for me?"

you sigh, "don't know- that's what i'm trying to figure out."

"how are you trying to figure it out?"

"kissing you. touching you. seeing if all of it made me feel something more."

"something more?"

"i don't know. something other than horny."

sana hums before finally loosening her grip. "okay. try it. just promise me you'll tell me what you think afterwards?"

you're quick to latch onto her lips again, mumbling yes and thank you into her.

she bucks her hips up against you and you moan. she was finally giving into her feelings and letting you do what you wanted, expressing herself freely.

“can you- mmf- can you-“

“what what is it baby? what do you need?”

“can you- be mad at me?”

she’s kissing down your neck, nipping slightly as you grind down into her, “i’m not mad at you. we talked about this just then baby.”

“no- i need- can you pretend to be mad?”

she’s licking up to your ear, “i don’t understand baby. can you elaborate?”

“f-fuck sana- can you- just imagine i did like miyeon and i wanted to fuck her-“

you’re scared you said the wrong thing and ruined the mood when she stills under you. then all of a sudden she’s rolling you over and straddling your hips, lips and teeth back at the sensitive parts on your neck. “you like it when i’m mad?”

“g-god yes sana please-“

“whore. you want me to mark you up? make sure everyone knows your mine? mine to ruin?”

“yes yes sana please-“

you moan when you feel her sucking at your collarbone, intending on doing exactly that.

"off." her hands are at the bottom of your shirt tugging, and you scramble up, almost knocking your forehead against hers in haste, you'd laugh but you were so pent up you couldn't think about anything other than her fucking you all night long.

her hands are cold when she slides them up your stomach, cupping your tits and you shiver at the feeling.

"trying to piss me off on purpose bringing up her name into this hm? after we just made up too." she squeezes and you gasp into her, nipples hard against her palms as she runs a thumb over the tip.

"think my pretty baby's going to come for anyone else?" she circles a nipple leaving you twitching, "i'm going to ruin you so that everytime you even come close to coming in the future, you'll only be able to think about me."

she's licking a trail down the middle of your chest, before sucking marks into the sides of your breasts, avoiding your nipples, only tracing them lightly with the tip of her thumb.

you're squirming around under her, begging and crying, eyes clenched shut, hand drifting down towards your folds, trying to alleviate some of the pressure that's built up.

she snatches your hand quickly and pins it above your head, "don't even fucking think about it."

you whine under her, trying to pull away from her grip but she has you completely under her control.

"don't do that baby. you asked for this didn't you? you're going to be a good girl and take it now." her lips come back down on your other tit, sucking and licking again, you're grinding up into nothing, stuck with the feeling of your own sticky arousal.

"p-please sana need- please- more-"

"what do you need baby? this?" she takes a nipple into her mouth then, sucking gently and flicking over it with her tongue, then popping it out of her mouth, "or this?" a hand trails lower, thumbing the waistband of your pyjama bottoms. "maybe this?" a knee comes up then, pressing right where you need her most and you’re moaning against her.

"g-god sana- fuck- all- all of it- god i need all of it-"

"be more specific sweetie. you can do it. c'mon now."

"f-fuck need you to fuck me like you said you would. need to feel your fingers inside me, your mouth wrapped around my clit, your hands gripping my ass so hard it'll leave behind handprints. just need you sana please- please-"

"mmm that's a good girl. begging for me like the slut you are. because you were so pretty i'll give you that. but you gotta talk me through it okay? if you stop i'll stop and i'm going to go fuck myself in your bed and leave you here for the rest of the night."

you whimper, nodding your head.

"words baby."

"yes, yes yes god please just-"

she smirks and then she's back at your nipples, fully sucking on them now and pulling your bottoms off along with your panties, immediately swiping a finger through your wetness. the sudden change from feeling nothing to feeling everything be stimulated was almost too much but also exactly what you needed.

"god sana please- inside- need you inside."

she's pushing one finger in and you feel yourself clench around her, already so close, desperate for her. suddenly you're remembering your actual task, but before you can formulate another thought she's pulling out and thrusting back in with another finger.

"god you're so wet for me baby. how long have you been thinking about this hm?"

"i- fuck- i'm never not thinking about you sana."

sana hums, keeping a slow, languid pace, "is that helping with your little mission tonight?"

"i- w- fuck sana faster please-"

"answer the question first."

"f-fuck i- i don't know- i c-can't think- please-"

she's pulling out and removing herself from you so that none of your skin is touching anymore.

"now? now can you think?"

"sana please fuck- yes! yes it's helping everything is helping please just need you back-" you're making grabby hands at her, trying to pull her back so you can feel her against you again.

she obliges, pushing back into you and humming, "that's a good girl."

"thank you- god sana- thank you- mm fuck thank you-" you're babbling, barely making sense when she speeds up, curling her fingers inside you just the way she knows you like, and rubbing her thumb along your clit each thrust inside.

soon enough, you're coming around her, her name and curses spilling out of your mouth but she's not done. she's crawling down your body, marking almost every inch of skin she can get her mouth on, and then latching onto your clit and sucking, fingers still pounding into you.

"f-fuck! sana! 's too much! f-fuck-"

she only hums against you, the vibrations against your clit only tightening the coil in your belly once more and the overstimulation is too much and you feel yourself coming again.

she's pulling out and you think she's finished but she flips you onto your stomach, slipping a pillow under you to lift your ass up, hands gripping the cheeks and spreading them apart, just like how you had begged her to. but then her fingers are prodding at your entrance again and she slides in, and this angle is so much deeper and you cry out, muffled against the sheets, trying to squirm away from her but she's got your ass right where she wants you.

she's leaning down, pushing in and out of you again, you can feel her chest against your back, the fact that she's still wearing her top fleetingly crosses your mind but you can still feel her hardened nipples against your skin, you arch back into her.

"my baby's not done yet. you're going to give me another one. and another one. until you've finished your little experiment right?"

you're sobbing into the sheets, the delightful mixture of pleasure and pain running through your body, your hyperaware of every single movement, every single place your skin touches, every breath she takes as she ruts her fingers into you.

you feel your third orgasm coming up when a hand is snaking a way back up your body, pinching roughly at your nipples before closing around your throat. you gulp and clench even harder around her fingers when she squeezes her hand lightly, moaning your approval.

"yeah? you like that slut?"

"y-yes o-oh god fuck- sana- fuck-"

she's squeezing tighter now and the pressure is perfect, the lightheadedness from the cutoff of oxygen combined with the overstimulation and you're coming again, thrashing into her as she releases you slowly, heaving in air as specks of black dot your vision.

you feel almost numb when she slides the pillow out from under you, turning you slightly so she can kiss you gently, and you moan at the taste of yourself on her tongue.

she's slipping a leg between yours when you realise that she's taken off her bottoms, and you gasp when the feeling of her wetness glides against your clit.

you whimper against her lips, "sana..."

"shhhh baby one more."

you're helpless against her, whining and pushing yourself into her, relishing the way her breath catches and she moans when your clits drag along each other. she's got one hand at your tit again, pinching a nipple and you need to feel more of her so you slide a hand up her top, grasping at her breast and moaning when she rocks against you just a little harder at the feeling.

your lips never leave each other, even when you're so blissed out you're just panting into her mouth, rutting against her. you're not even thinking straight when you mumble the words, slurred together and mixed with curses, but sana still catches it. "i love you."

she stops immediately, leaving you humping her like a dog, panting into her wondering why she's stopped.

she's gripping your hips, stilling you, eyes wide, "what did you just say?"

"i love you sana fuck- please- please let me come again please-"

her eyes study you, half-dazed, and then suddenly she's rutting against you again, your hands tighten around her tits just to be able to hold onto something because she's pushing against you and you're so close and her hands are basically moving your hips against hers without you even doing anything, she's moaning into your mouth, caught in her own pleasure and it's all too much when you feel her tighten her legs around you, coming with a whine and shaking, you come again, eyes closing and feeling the wave of pleasure wash over your body, twitching lightly against her in the aftershock.

when you pull apart your legs are sticky and filthy and hers aren't much better, stained with your essence, you can't even open your eyes, just letting her plant light kisses across your face and neck, holding her against you and learning to breathe again.

when she kisses your eyelids you manage to peek open, staring at her in wonder.

"did you mean it?" her eyebrows are slightly furrowed, hair sticking to her forehead, bottom lip protruding a little in a pout.

you were overcome with pleasure and overstimulation, but you remember everything you said. "i did. i love you. i'm sorry it took this long to realise it."

she sighs, eyes tearing up, "i love you too idiot."

"what about the season?"

"we'll figure that out later. let me clean you up and we can cuddle and sleep?"

you hum, whining when she leaves you to grab a damp towel, missing her warmth already. it felt painful to be without her. every second you spent apart, you were thinking about her, you can't help but laugh at how stupid you've been. you've been in love with sana for the better half of your life, you were determined to make it up to her. to show her just how much you loved her. just how much you needed her in your life.

you smile happily when she comes back, bringing her into a sweet kiss and letting her wipe at your legs. you were so, utterly, in love with her, and you finally realised it.

[rizlowwritessortof]

Take a Shot

Written for @artyandink 's Jensen-a-thon event!

Let's face it, his henley looks good on both of you...

Pairing: Dean x F. Reader

Word Count: 935

Warnings: Nothing but a little good old-fashioned sexual tension, no smut, but Dean being Dean is a warning in itself 🔥🔥🔥 (Dividers by the absolutely lovely Daisy @firefly-graphics )

The tile floor is cool on your bare feet as you walk down the hall, your mind focused on the banana pudding left in the fridge from earlier tonight. If you can’t fall asleep, you might as well eat, right?

It’s kind of nice in the bunker when everyone else is in bed, only the dim light from the night lights that are always on in all the common rooms, the quiet hum of some mysterious machinery in the background, whatever it is that keeps the power on in this place. You shiver a little, the air cool on your legs. Why bother with pants when nobody else is around, anyway?

You’re halfway through the library on your way to the kitchen when Dean’s voice makes you nearly jump out of your skin, your heart pounding hard as you whirl around to face him. He’s standing across the room, a crystal tumbler of amber liquid in hand, his eyes shadowed in the half-dark. “Is that my shirt?”

“Damn it, Dean, you scared the living shit out of me!” you scold, your hand on your chest, trying to keep your heart from pounding its way free. “Why are you up? I thought you went to bed a couple of hours ago!”

An amused smile curves his lips. “Backatcha, sweetheart.”

“Well – I – I couldn’t go to sleep. So I wanted a snack.”

“Yeah, well, same here, and I wanted a drink. Mystery solved.” It’s slowly dawning on you that you’re half-dressed, and you feel the blush move up your neck, your cheeks warming as he stares you down. “You never answered me. Is that my shirt?”

You’re wearing a cream-colored henley that you may or may not have stolen – borrowed – when you were doing laundry last weekend. It’s so soft, and so big (because it’s his) and comfy, and yes, if you were being honest, you like wearing it because it belongs to him. It’s been against his skin. And you would deny that even under threat of torture.

“Yes, okay, I borrowed your shirt. And just for your information, I wouldn’t have come out here like this if I knew you were lurking around.”

“I’m not lurking. And just for your information, I don’t mind you coming out here like that.” In fact, he’s thoroughly enjoying the way his shirt looks on you. It’s soft, and it’s clinging just right to show every detail of the curves beneath – not to mention your perky nipples. No, he doesn’t really mind at all.

You can see his eyes sparkle even in the poor lighting, and you hope he can’t see your blush from where he’s standing. “Well, stop staring.” You turn your back and flounce from the room, heading to the kitchen and hoping with everything in you that the henley is covering your ass. You brush your hand back there, relieved that it is – barely – and walk resolutely to the fridge. Seriously, what the hell is he doing up, anyway?

You take the container and toss the lid into the sink, grabbing a spoon from the nearby drawer, and lean against the counter, taking a spoonful of the creamy treat and closing your eyes as it hits your tongue. So good. Totally worth a little embarrassment.

“So, you gonna share, or what?” You jump, startled again glaring up at him as he approaches.

“For fuck’s sake, Dean, could you wear a bell or something?” A thoroughly devilish grin flashes for a second, but he manages to rein it in quickly. You scoop another spoonful of the pudding, but he takes your hand in his and steers it up towards his mouth. You watch as he takes it in, those sinful lips closing around it and his eyes blinking slowly as he savors it with a soft hum. You feel your legs wobble a little, and things are clenching that should not be clenching just from watching someone eat banana pudding.

“That’s good.” He lets go of your hand, and after a couple of seconds you actually remember to take it back. You force your eyes down, but now the view is his shoulders and chest underneath another henley from his collection, this one a midnight blue, and he’s wearing sweats and his feet are bare. And you are hopelessly screwed. “Thought you were hungry,” he teases as you stand there with the empty spoon in the air, trying to remember how to breathe.

“I am – I was,” you stammer.

“Then why aren’t you eating?” He laughs softly at your defiant frown.

“Because you’re distracting me.”

“You started it.” You stare up at him, your eyes wide.

“Since when do you get distracted by me? You barely even notice me.”

“Shows how much you know.” You still stare at him skeptically, and he gnaws a bit at that plush lower lip before he continues. “Every night I walk by your door and I picture in my head what you might be wearing to bed. Some nights… well, let’s just say I really wanna open that door.”

You set the container of pudding and the spoon on the counter beside you, never taking your eyes off him. “Then why haven’t you?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m afraid you’ll tell me to get lost.”

You’re starting to smile now. “You know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Dean steps up close, his hand moving to stroke over your shoulder and down, curling his fingers around your arm as he leans in, his voice rumbling in your ear. “Oh, sweetheart – I don’t miss.”

Tags for my lovelies: 

 @saenalife    @deanscarlett    @jensensgotyoudean    @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis    @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog 

   @geeklibrarian    @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid      @mrswhozeewhatsis    @littlegreenplasticsoldier    @sleep-silent-angel  

  @darcia22    @winchesterprincessbride    @ellen-reincarnated1967    @eyes-of-a-disney-princess      @deanslittleangel2y5  

  @melanie451        @spectaculacular-sammy     @bookchic20    @jodyri    @selma-jean-blog   

        @savingapplepie-eatingthings    @kittenofdoomage    @masked-maiden42    @lean-mean-deanwinchester    @ericuhlorain  

  @undecided-garden    @ceeceewinchester    @typicalweirdbookworm          @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit    @youtoldalie 

   @tanithlowisabamf-blog    @deandoesthingstome    @jxackles    @nerdwholikesword    @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic  

  @kreweofimp  @gabavaldman    @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog    @darkx143    @disassociativedogma   

 @ioanashalala    @jencharlan    @deansthirstblog     @dorky-and-i-know-it    @mischief-maker1   

 @winchestersandwordprocessors    @percussiongirl2017    @bringmesomepie56   @akshi8278    @torn-and-frayed  

  @sandlee44   @wingedcatninja  @evansrogerskitten   @emoryhemsworth  @peaceinourtime82 

 @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior  @sarcasmqueen74   @maliburenee     @mrsjenniferwinchester   @yeehawbitchs  

 @emily-winchester  @hobby27    spnbaby-67   @zepskies

[emelie-png]

Halters with 18 Swatches

Horse Ranch Required

Non-Default

18 Swatches

Bridle slot

A simple good old fashioned halter, comes with 18 different swatches. I've some ideas about variations for this halter in the future so stay tuned.

Also the reins doesn't really attach properly on this if you attempt to ride with it.

Feel free to recolour as long as you credit me.

DO NOT upload to paysites.

Download (Patreon) FREE

Download (Simsfileshare)

[thepromptfoundry]

Calling all history nerds, period piece connoisseurs, and fans of time-travel plots! Decades December is coming up here at The Prompt Foundry!

This list is being posted a little earlier than usual because historical work can take some time. The list has some reference points for you to jump off from. Show off your special interest in a particular era or event, or start a wiki walk from the the Wikipedia page for each decade to learn something new!

Have fun exploring resources like @thetimelinesofslang, the Fashion History Timelines from NYSU's Fashion Institute of Technology, or the fashion plates and historical photos from blogs like @omgthatdress or @historical-fashion-polls!

If you use this list, please tag me here @thepromptfoundry, I’d love to see your writing and art!

Feel free to combine different days' prompts with each other, or combine them with other events! Use your OCs, your favorite characters from media, your own experiences, whatever tickles your fancy.

Respond to as many prompts as you want or as interest you, don’t worry about missing or skipping any. Remember, this is supposed to be fun!

If you have any questions or musings, check our FAQ, and if you don't find your answer, shoot me an ask.

Plain text list below the cut:

1) 0010s Xin dynasty in China, Caesar Augustus in Rome

2) 1900s Edwardian era, Russo-Japanese War, release of the first feature film The Great Train Robbery

3) 300s Teotihuacan flourishing in present-day Mexico, writing of the Kama Sutra

4) 1910s World War 1, the Russian Revolution

5) 1440s Late Middle Ages/Early Renaissance in Europe, the hangul writing system is introduced in Korea

6) 1920s Prohibition in the US, rise of fascism in Europe, earliest sync-sound movies

7) 0070s Roman Epire, destruction of the Second Temple in Jerusalem, eruption of Mt. Vesuvius and destruction of Pompeii

8) 1930s The Great Depression, the Declaration of the Independence of India, art deco, color film

9) 1090s The First Crusade, the Liao, Xia, and Song dynasties in various parts of China

10) 1810s The Napoleonic Wars, the Regency era in England

11) 1940s World War 2, post-war rebuilding

12) 1000s BC The Iron Age, King David of the Israelites, development of the Phoenician alphabet

13) 1950s Baby Boom, Red Scare, the Korean War, rock'n'roll, zippers and television both become commonplace

14) 1340s The Black Death in Europe, decline of the Mongol Empire

15) 1590s Late Elizabethan Era in Europe, William Shakespeare, Imjin War between Japan and Korea

16) 1960s Moon landing, hippies, mod fashion, Chinese Cultural Revolution, Stonewall, Star Trek, the Civil Rights movement

17) 1770s The American Revolution, founding of the real Illuminati

18) 1860s American Civil War era, late Edo period in Japan

19) 1970s The Sexual Revolution, disco, the first video games, end of the Vietnam War

20) 2200s Whatever the future holds!

21) 1980s End of the Cold War and fall of the Berlin Wall, beginnings of the World Wide Web, the First Intifada in Gaza

22) 1660s Part of the Golden Age of Piracy, the English Restoration

23) 1990s Internet access becomes widespread, grunge, the Gulf War, the Troubles in Ireland, height of the AIDS crisis, Princess Dianna, first Pokemon games

24) 1230s University of Cambridge founded in England, beginnings of the Mali Empire in Africa, rein of Emperor Shijo in Japan

25) 2000s The “War On Terror”, rise of Big Tech, Y2K fashion, emo culture, cell phones become commonplace

26) 1880s Gilded Age, the first skyscrapers, electrification of cities, first household electrical appliances like fans and irons

27) 1640s Qing dynasty begins in China, the First English Civil War

28) 2010s Hipster culture, height of video streaming, YA lit boom

29) 500s Liang and Northern Wei dynasties in China, Heptarchy period in England, height of prosperity of the Mayan Empire

30) 2020s Present day!

31) 3130s Whatever the future holds!

[is-the-19thcentury-man-okay]

Help! I'm thinking of getting a 19th century man and my heart is hopelessly set on a fancy French breed! However, in researching breeds of French 19th century men, I'm torn if I want a Napoleonic 19th century man or a La Belle Epoque 19th century man. A friend of mine who has an English 19th century man says that the French breeds are much more high maintenance than their English cousins. Do you have any tips or insight into the differences between various English and French breeds of 19th century men?

I'm going to answer this more recent question over some asks that have been awaiting my attention (my apologies); because it's such a perennial enquiry. In brief, there are less differences between 19th century Frenchmen and 19th century Englishmen than you might think. Your Frenchman is probably a huge anglophile, at least when it comes to his clothes, and he's very influenced by English styles. Meanwhile your Englishman is very impressed by anything in French, and he admires a lot of French culture (and French wines), whether or not he wants to admit it.

Your typical 1830s Frenchman in his Habit à l'Anglaise.

You will want to research your particular type of 19th century Frenchman (or Englishman), and pay attention to a lot of regional and class variations. Gullible anglophones are super impressed by a 19th century man being French, as if this fact alone makes him like a Romantic Les Misérables protagonist or a slinky Parisian man in his robe de chambre like in a Paul Gavarni drawing.

The ideal, not always the reality!

Don't fall head over heels for a French 19th century man with misleading expectations in mind—when he could be from Marseille and want to eat bouillabaisse and play pétanque all day. You will see 19th century Frenchmen claimed to be working in fashion, and it turns out he works at a shirt factory in Argenton-sur-Creuse.

If you are deciding between Napoleonic or La Belle Epoque, I personally recommend Napoleonic if you have lots of energy and you're willing to indulge his urges to roam places at a forced march.

Fun-loving French soldiers at camp in 1809. Let these lads conquer something!

Who doesn't appreciate that sharp uniform that makes you want to show off a man in la Grande Armée? He's not cheap to equip, but it's worth it!

The Belle Époque man may seem less likely to set off on a path of unending war, but he absolutely has his own management issues with a propensity for absinthe, horse racing, and cigars.

You can't just give him free rein with whatever fin de siècle excessess he wants to pursue, and that pretty face won't last forever when he's a determined roué!

In short, your own lifestyle situation, and the type of 19th century man you're willing to support, will be the deciding factor. Good luck!

[writing-intheundercroft]

When We're Older || Rumors

AO3 Link

Word Count: 7,289

Chapter Rating: M (Warning: references to sex)

A/N: Some seventh year shenanigans and an awkward trip for potions ingredients! Thank you as always to my lovely beta reader @happyaccidentsonly <3

September 1892

“Welcome back, seventh years!”

The Slytherin seventh years had all been gathered in the center of the common room. Professor Ronen and Professor Sharp stood before them; Ronen had his usual jovial look, while Sharp looked sour as ever.  They had just passed out the seventh years’ schedules, and were now preparing their start of term speech for the house’s eldest students.

Sebastian appraised the group. Ominis was standing with Imelda and Grace, the rest of the girls squeezed into a couch.  The other boys in their year were on the couch opposite them, robes already discarded after a long welcoming feast. He felt something tugging at his hand, and his cheeks flushed as he realized Theo was draping his arm around her.  He pulled her in tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Ominis, hearing the sloppy wet kiss, pretended to gag as the girls snickered. 

It was a far cry from last year’s scene, Sebastian thought to himself. This day last year, Sebastian was sitting by himself, staring at Ominis and Theo opposite him. Things had been so tense, and he was positively desperate to do anything it took to prove his worth to them. But now, seventeen and on the cusp of his last year at Hogwarts, he was draped across the loveseat with his beautiful girlfriend, ready to take on the world. 

“This is your final year at Hogwarts, and we are excited to welcome you to what will be your most robust year of learning.” Ronen smiled.  “As the leaders of Slytherin house, I must ask each and every one of you to set a good example for your younger Slytherins.”

“With that said, we know you are all of age now, and will enjoy more freedom than your younger counterparts.” Sharp interjected. “And while we understand wanting to enjoy fun, you are here primarily to learn and pass your NEWT exams.”

There were several audible groans and eye rolls to his statement, but Sharp relented. “We implore you all to obey the following rules—all seventh years back in the dormitory by midnight, at the very latest. And in their own beds, I might add. While I have no desire to know your…extracurricular activities, there will be grave punishment if you’re found in the wrong bed.” Sharp’s eyes flitted over to the couple, and Sebastian blushed, having flashbacks of being thrown against the edge of the Prefect’s bathroom pool by Sharp’s well aimed depulso.

“Seventh years will also be allowed to travel further than Hogsmeade, as far as Keenbridge, but on weekends only.” Ronen warned.

Theo coughed while Ominis suppressed a laugh.  The three of them had been breaking the rules on the radius restriction since their fifth year. Sebastian had always been allowed to travel to Feldcroft whenever he desired to see Anne, and no teachers dared to discipline Ominis.  Theo had been under the protection of Professor Fig her first year, and had spent most of fifth year traversing the entirety of highlands on her own. Even without Fig's excuses, she was given free rein. Most of the staff had witnessed her ancient magic, and they knew she couldn't be controlled.

Ronen and Sharp droned on about more rules, such as no liquor in their dorm rooms (Sebastian knew Violet McDowell had been hiding cases of firewhiskey in her trunk since at least third year) and when they could be out of uniform (as if Theo ever followed the uniform policy—she was always wearing something fashionable and certainly not included in the standard uniform requirements). 

Sebastian felt his eyes starting to droop, until Sharp cleared his throat.

“That concludes our meeting, and you may head to your dormitory.” He said, clasping his hands in front of him. “Per the headmaster’s request, there are…necessary supplies in your rooms this year. Should you need replenishment, Nurse Blainey can assist.”

The seventh years dispersed, heading to the stone staircase that led up to their rooms.  Sebastian stopped at the foot of the staircase, his hand tentatively resting on the railing.  He remembered staring up at the seventh year dormitories when he was eleven, and how the seventh years looked so grown.  He’d never been inside, but the students had all regaled about the large, fancy rooms for the older students.  And now, in what felt like the blink of an eye, the room was his.

“You okay?” Theo asked, nudging him with her shoulder.  He looked down at her; she had her robes draped over her shoulder, the little bow at the neck of her uniform shirt undone.  If he looked hard enough, he could see the purple hickey he’d left at the base of her neck when they’d snuck out of the welcoming feast for a quick snog. Mr. Moon had awkwardly cleared his throat when he caught the pair in the entry hall, Sebastian’s lips leaving blooming marks on her skin.

His, he thought.  Thoroughly marked.

“Just can’t believe it’s our last year.” Sebastian breathed. “All the hard work…it’s finally paying off.”

“Don’t get too cocky,” Ominis huffed, passing them on the steps. “We’ve still got the NEWTs to conquer.  Come on Sebastian, we have to make sure we don't get the worst beds.”

Sebastian walked up the steps with Theo; he frowned at the loss of her hand in his as she let go. 

“No goodnight kiss?” Sebastian pouted.

Theo rolled her eyes, but gave in, pressing her hands to his chest as she kissed him. Sebastian’s fingers trailed up to her hair, lightly tugging on the locks.

“Get a room!” Imelda bellowed, while Grace and Nerida wolf whistled.

Sebastian laughed against Theo’s lips as she gave the girls a rude hand gesture.  She finally pushed him away, grinning as she stepped up the stairs to her dormitory.

“See you in the morning?” she asked.

“Can’t wait.” Sebastian started walking up the opposite stairs, blowing a kiss goodbye.

He walked up to the door, pushing it open to reveal the spacious seventh year dormitory.  Eyes scanning the room, he spotted his trunk in front of a bed—always the one next to Ominis’s.  Ominis was already pulling pajamas out of his trunk, as their fellow roommates lounged on the settee. It wasn’t that Sebastian didn’t like the other boys in his year, but they’d all grown up in the same pureblood social circle as Ominis in London. He knew they looked down upon him for growing up in the countryside, so they’d maintained a polite but distant acquaintanceship with him. 

“I wonder what Sharp meant by supplies,” Cyrus Lestrange hummed. “Any ideas?”

“Wager they’re school supplies?  But we already buy our own.” Peter Parkinson shrugged.

“O-ho, look at these.” John Avery said, hands digging through the fruit bowl on the table.  He pulled out a tiny vial, purple liquid dancing and splashing within.  “Wonder what these are.”

Sebastian immediately flushed, knowing exactly what it was.  In fact, he’d learned to brew the very potion himself that summer, spending several painstaking hours to ensure he’d done it just right.

“What is it?” Ominis asked, scooting forward in the bed.  He rarely interacted with the other boys outside of a quick greeting, but the silence had him intrigued.

“Some sort of potion,” Avery explained. “But I don’t…I don’t recognize it.”

“Sallow does,” Lestrange said haughtily. “The look on his face says so.”

Parkinson turned his attention to Sebastian. “Well, come off with it Sallow, what are they?”

Sebastian scratched the back of his neck, pursing his lips. “They’re…uh, they’re contraceptive potions.” He confessed.

The three other boys burst into laughter as Sebastian blushed.  Avery clapped him on the back, throwing an arm around his shoulders. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably at the contact. 

“Sallow, you brute.” Parkinson snorted. “You and Caulfield are off to the races then, are you?”

Sebastian felt even more mortified, realizing that he’d not only confirmed his lack of virginity, but outed Theo’s as well.

“I just—just research, y’know.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, pushing Avery’s arms off him.  He walked over to his bed, bouncing onto the mattress. 

“Bit embarrassing none of you knew what it was,” Ominis huffed.  In the moment, Sebastian was forever grateful to his best friend for changing the subject.

“You didn’t either, Gaunt.” Lestrange pointed out.

“Cyrus, I’m blind, if you haven’t noticed.” 

The other boys started roaring again at Ominis’s quip; Sebastian, feeling quite queasy,  rolled off the bed and started to dig through his trunk. In all his years at Hogwarts, Sebastian rarely felt homesick for the Feldcroft cottage; however, he longed to be there now more than ever.  He shucked on his pajamas, sliding into the down feather bed, imagining it was the rickety one in Feldcroft instead.  At least there, he could sleep next to Theo.

Ten months, Sebastian thought to himself.  In ten months, they’d be done with school. After that, he could take Theo home.

Sebastian woke late for the day; he figured his regimen could be delayed for at least one more day while he acclimated to school.  He dressed with a spring in his step, taking great care to shave his stubble.  Everything about the day was going to be perfect, he thought. He was going to savor every last moment he had at Hogwarts, with very best friend and very best girl at his side. 

“Oh, are you done primping yourself yet?” Ominis complained from his bed.  He’d been dressed and ready to go down for breakfast, visibly regretting his decision to wait for Sebastian. “I swear, you take longer with your hair than me these days, and that’s saying something.”

Sebastian laughed, tucking his ancient runes textbook into his bag. “Fine, let’s go.” 

The two opened the door, hearing yelling and screeching from the common room.

“What’s going on?” Ominis cocked his head. 

Sebastian leaned over the railing, seeing the commotion below.  The girls were squabbling; Violet McDowell was being held back by Grace and Nerida, while Imelda wrangled Theo’s arm.  Lestrange, red in the face, was seated on the steps, his cheeks bright red.  

“I’m just saying what we’ve all been thinking,” Violet yelled loudly. 

“Go ahead,” Theo roared. “Say it again.”  

Sebastian raced down the steps, stepping between the fight.

“What’s going on?” he gasped. 

“McDowell and Lestrange here don’t know when to shut up,” Theo snarled, her eyes squeezed shut.  Sebastian knew why–whenever her emotions were running high, Isidora’s magic threatened to spill out of her.  “Speaking on things they don’t know anything about.”

Violet gave a vicious laugh. “Oh, don’t we all.  We were just saying how everyone was so shocked Philippa Bustrode fell with child so quickly–I was only wondering if you and Sallow were up next.”

Sebastian whirled around. “Watch your tongue,” he seethed.

Violet’s head fell back as she laughed again. “As if I haven’t already told everyone how Sebastian Sallow was spotted in a very cheeky section of Flourish and Blotts,” she turned to Cyrus, who was now rubbing his jaw. “Cyrus tells us that you two are intimately aware of the potions Professor Sharp provided.”

Theo wrestled her way out of Imelda’s grasp, pushing Sebastian out of the way.  Everyone fell silent as the sound of Theo’s hand slapping against Violet’s cheek rang in the air. 

“You little slut ,” Violet screeched, lunging forward. Sebastian himself nearly sprang at her, until he suddenly snapped backwards.  Ominis had grabbed the hood of his robes, tugging him away from the fight.  Grace and Nerida both grabbed Violet’s arms, while Imelda struggled to push Theo back towards Sebastian.

“Ladies! Separate at once!” a booming voice interjected.  

All of the seventh years turned their attention to the door, where Professor Ronen was standing.  The man rarely yelled–Sebastian couldn’t think of a time he’d ever seen their charms professor angry, and here he was, standing with his hands on his hips, frowning at the group.  Sebastian’s hand flew down to grab Theos, squeezing tightly.

“Just last night I asked all of you to set a good example for your fellow students, and we’ve already had a physical fight in the common room.” Ronen bellowed. “McDowell, Caulfield, follow me.  The rest of you, off to breakfast.”

Theo huffed, pulling her hand from Sebastian’s. She opened her eyes, very much back to their normal light brown, and scratched at her collar.

“I’ll see you after breakfast?” she asked breathily.

Sebastian nodded, watching her break away and follow Professor Ronen and Violet McDowell down the steps.  The girls maintained a healthy distance from one another, and Theo looked back at him, pouting.

“Your girlfriend packs quite the punch, Sallow.”

Sebastian turned to Lestrange, whose jaw was now sporting a blossoming bruise. “What did you say to her?” he growled, shoving him against the stone railing.

Lestrange laughed, wincing a little as the stone dug into his back. “Just that I wish more of the girls were like her,” he jested. “Free and willing, you know? Asked if she minded the taste .” He wagged his eyebrows, clearly proud of his innuendo.

Sebastian’s fist made easy contact with Lestrange’s nose; luckily, Professor Ronen was already too occupied with disciplining the girls to have noticed.

Sebastian could hardly focus during Ancient Runes.  On top of worrying about Theo, he now had to worry about all of the studying he’d neglected over the final weeks of summer. His mind was completely blank as he stared at the translations in his textbook, leaning over quite often to whisper questions into Amit Thakkar’s ear.  Amit, always the most pleasant Ravenclaw, obliged, only growing annoyed when Sebastian asked his twentieth question.  By the middle of the class period, Sebastian found himself staring at the clock, willing it to move faster so he could get to the lunch table. 

As soon as the bells rang and class was dismissed, Sebastian took off, nearly sprinting from the classroom back to the Great Hall.  As he burst through the doors, he saw Theo, sitting at the Slytherin table with Ominis, Poppy, and Imelda.  Her eyes were glued to her plate, absentmindedly pushing around her lunch.

“Hi,” Sebastian greeted them breathlessly. “How did it go?”

Poppy slid from the bench to allow him room, grimacing.  Imelda, who was on the opposite side next to Ominis, mouthed good luck.

“Spent first period being chastised by Ronen, and I had to apologize to McDowell.” Theo said dryly, looking up at Sebastian.  She had a grim look on her face. “Detention tonight and tomorrow with Sharp.”

Sebastian tucked into the bench next to her. “Two nights of detention?  She was slandering you, that’s not fair.”

Theo sighed, lolling her head. “Apparently, physical retaliation is just as bad. Suits her and Lestrange, they were both being prats.”

“You did the right thing,” Poppy huffed.  Despite her small stature, Sebastian knew from Theo’s stories that Poppy wasn’t one to shy away from a fight. The petite brunette turned to Sebastian, folding her hands on the table. “The things she was accusing Philippa Greengrass of–that’s serious.  Perhaps she’s just carrying large, that’s all.”

“Bulstrode, now.” Ominis interjected. “I went to the wedding in July. Dreadful affair.  Looked like she’d been crying the entire time.”

It took Sebastian a few moments to put the pieces together–he couldn’t understand why it would be scandalous for a married woman to be pregnant.  As he pondered, his gaze caught Andrew Larson from across the room.  The blond was sitting at the Ravenclaw table, looking rather forlorn. His smug smile was long gone, a lonely look in his eye as he stared at the empty end of the Slytherin table where Philippa used to sit. 

Sebastian’s mind immediately flashed back to the last night of term, when he and Theo had caught him with Philippa in the elevator.  Ominis, saying she’d been crying over her wedding, and the broken look of Andrew Larson sitting alone.  If she’d gotten married in July, she should’ve been early on in her pregnancy, but Poppy had mentioned she was already growing large.

“Oh,” Sebastian gasped.

“Right.” Imelda said dryly, leaning in. “Rumor has it, that’s why Professor Black has asked Sharp to keep a steady stream of contraceptive potions in the dorms. It’s quite the scandal.”

Theo rolled her eyes. “It’s natural,” she huffed. “It can't possibly be the first time they've dealt with this. What I’d like to know is how Cyrus Lestrange came to think I would be an authority on the new supplies in our dorm rooms.”  

Sebastian swallowed thickly.

Imelda coughed. “Y’know, I’d like to try sitting over at the Hufflepuff table. Fancy joining me, Pops?” 

Poppy nodded quickly, sliding out of the bench. “Coming, Ominis?” 

"Change of scenery would be nice," Ominis blurted, abandoning Sebastian for the other table despite his lack of sight.

Their friends vacated the Slytherin table with swiftness; Sebastian stared at Theo, who was glaring down at her plate.  She stabbed her fork through a chicken breast, sawing it with her knife aggressively.

“I just want to start off by saying I'm sorry.” Sebastian said, sliding in closer to her.

“What reason would you have to be sorry, my dear?” Theo’s words cut as sharply as her knife. “Do you want to tell me something?”

Sebastian winced. “Some things…came up in conversation last night.”

Theo dropped her silverware, the pieces clattering against her gold plate.  She laid her palms on the table, eyes shut as she breathed slowly. “Did you tell your roommates about our intimate experience ?”

Sebastian froze, turning red in the face. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“How?” Theo opened her eyes; to his surprise, they were not red, but she was still seething.

“The potions,” he stammered. “Lestrange, Parkinson, and Avery didn’t know what the potion was, and I just blurted it out.  I swear, I didn’t say anything–they just assumed.”

“Well, he’s told just about everyone.” Theo snipped. “So, I'm assuming the whole school knows.”

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian groaned, head falling into his hands. “I didn’t mean to tell them.”

The anger melted off of Theo’s face, and she sighed. “I know.  I’m just frustrated. And now I have detention, so I won’t be able to spend time with you for the next two days.”

Sebastian looked up at her. “So you’re not mad at me?”

Theo rolled her eyes. “It’s stupid.  People would’ve assumed we were sleeping together anyways, so let them have fun with their rumors.” She eyed him, giving him a pointed smile. “Besides, I think me having detention is more of a punishment for you than me.” 

Sebastian swallowed thickly as he felt her hand touch his thigh. “How so?”

Theo raised an eyebrow as her hand inched towards the inside of his leg, closer and closer to his groin. “You’ll have to go two nights without me,” she murmured. “And any extracurricular activities.”

Sebastian’s eyes flitted down to her lips. “Such a shame,” he tutted.

Theo put a finger under his chin, tilting his gaze back up to her eyes. “ Anyways, I heard you got a better shot at Lestrange; Nurse Blainey had to stop the bleeding. My hero,” she chuckled.

Sebastian gulped. “Do you have a free period next?”

Theo nodded. “You haven’t eaten lunch though.”

“I’ll grab something later,” Sebastian muttered into her ear. “But right now, we’re going to the Undercroft.” 

“Why?” Theo feigned innocence. “Whatever for?”

“To reward my girlfriend for taking out two enormous prats in one day,” Sebastian grinned, gripping her hand. “Now come on, before Ominis realizes where we’re going.”

Sebastian stood quickly, tugging her up from the bench. Theo laughed, letting her napkin fall to the floor as the majority of the Great Hall stared at them. The two of the giggled as they ran from the Great Hall to the Defense Against the Dark Arts wing, nearly mowing down a herd of first years in the process.  Sebastian couldn’t unlock the door fast enough, with Theo prodding him in the back.  As soon as the wrought iron gates shut behind them, Sebastian pushed her against the stone wall, making quick work of her shirt.

“Careful now,” Theo teased, wrapping her leg around his waist to pull him closer. “Remember the last time I got naked down here?”

Sebastian growled against her lips.  He pressed his growing arousal into her hips, slipping a hand underneath her skirt.  It bunched at her waist as she moaned, his fingers making contact with her soaking wet core. Sebastian sucked another mark into her neck, only now in a more visible spot. If the whole school knew they were being intimate, he didn’t care anymore.  At least they knew Theo was his.

“Hold on,” Theo gasped, batting him away.  Sebastian backed up for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, until he saw her shove her hand into her pocket, pulling two tiny purple vials from her skirt.  She handed one to Sebastian, who blushed as he took it.

“Might as well put them to good use,” he observed, downing the vial in one go.

Theo did the same, chucking the vial after she drank it. “Saves us some knuts since we don’t have to buy the ingredients ourselves.” she winked.

Sebastian laughed, pressing his body against her once more.

“So much homework,” Sebastian groaned, dropping his head against his textbook. “Three rolls of parchment for Runes, two for Potions, and four for Defense Against the Dark Arts!  It’s inhumane.”

Ominis let out a loud sigh. “It’s just how NEWTs are, Sebastian.”

“Well, NEWTs are going to ruin my life.” Sebastian grumbled.

The boys were sitting at a study table in the common room, nearly everyone else off to bed.  They were waiting for Theo to get back from her detention with Professor Sharp, which had been to scrub the cauldrons the first year students had inevitably destroyed during their first ever potions lesson.

“I don’t know how I’m going to balance it all,” Sebastian mused, dribbling ink onto his parchment. “School, grades, working for Sirona again, Theo…” his voice trailed off.

“I’m sure Theo will understand that school and work comes first,” Ominis reminded him.

Sebastian fiddled with the quill in hand. “I told her I want to help her figure out a cure.” he admitted.

Ominis froze, setting his wand down. “You can’t still be going on about Anne, Sebastian.” he snipped. “Haven’t you learned–”

“It’s not for Anne,” Sebastian interjected hastily. “For her .”

Ominis’s eyebrows lifted in confusion. “What does Theo possibly need a cure for?”

“The magic she absorbed,” Sebastian reminded him. “I told you–the red in her eyes, she’s absorbed Isidora’s magic.  I want to help her figure out a way to get it out, safely.”

Ominis chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. “Did she ask you to help her?”

Sebastian hesitated, and that told Ominis everything he needed to know. 

“You can’t keep trying to fix people who didn’t ask for help, Sebastian.” Ominis said gently. “We’ve gone down this path before.  We know how it ends.”  There was a lilt in his voice when he ended the sentence, as if Sebastian of all people could ever forget what had transpired.

“I don’t need a reminder, thanks.” Sebastian said tersely. “She agreed to let me search, so I’m doing it.” 

They could hear the doors of the common room open, feet dragging down the spiral staircase.  Sebastian turned, seeing a very tired Theo.  Her hair was tied up in a knot, and she was rubbing her hands.  Sebastian immediately stood, enveloping her in a hug.

“You smell awful,” he wrinkled his nose. “What the hell were the first years brewing?”

“I don’t know,” Theo groaned. “But it was something to do with stinksap. And Sharp made me clean them by hand.”

Despite the smell, Sebastian pressed a kiss to Theo’s sore fingers.  “Come on, you need a bath.  Let’s go up to the Room of Requirement.” he nudged her knuckles with his nose.

“I can’t possibly,” Theo complained. “I’ve just walked all the way down here, and what if Deek comes in?”

“I can carry you,” Sebastian said softly. “And I’ve paid Deek five galleons to leave us be for the night.  He’s a very reasonable little house elf, after all.”

Theo looked up at him, a faint smile on her lips. “You bribed a house elf.”

Sebastian laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I did indeed.”

“And you won’t be bothered if Lestrange and the others say something funny about you not being in bed?” she asked curiously. “What about all the rules?”

“You and I, darling, have never been good with rules.” Sebastian murmured. “And if Lestrange feels fit to say something again, I’m happy to duel him.”

“Can the two of you please decide if you’re leaving?” Ominis rolled his eyes. “I’d like to know if it’s safe to go to bed or not.”

“We’re going, we’re going.” Theo laughed. “Have a good night, Ominis.”

Ominis waved them off; he could pretend to be annoyed all he wanted, but the smile on his mouth said otherwise.

Sebastian yanked Theo up the stone stairs to the exit; she huffed, but he only tugged her hand even more, encouraging her to follow.

“Does a disillusionment charm work if you’re carrying someone?” Theo asked as they neared the top.

“I think we’re about to find out,” Sebastian breathed, lowering himself so Theo could straddle his back.  He lifted her up, hands under her knees, shifting her weight further onto him.  One of Theo’s arms lifted from his shoulders, uttering the disillusionment charm.  The two of them disappeared, like a trick of the light.

It was a long trek from the Slytherin dorms to the Room of Requirement, but Sebastian relished the silence with Theo.  They were lucky enough not to encounter any prefects or ghosts on their way to the astronomy tower.  Theo tightened her arms around him, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.

“Remember the last time I carried you around the castle?” Sebastian let out a breathy laugh.

Theo snorted. “I don’t–mostly because I was too drunk.”

Sebastian chuckled at the memory of him dragging her down to the dungeons, sopping wet from snow. “You were awfully heavy.”

Theo swatted at his head and Sebastian laughed again.

The last set of stairs up to the Room of Requirement had been excruciating, taking quite a bit of time. Theo had offered to walk them herself, but Sebastian remained steadfast in his insistence that he could carry her the entire way.  Once they’d made it to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, Sebastian let her fall from his back, concealing his groan as the ornate door flew open.

“Deek has been keeping the place running,” she breathed, walking ahead of him. “I should check the vivariums, start brewing some potions to have on stock…”

“All of that can wait until the morning, love.” Sebastian stood with his arms crossed. “You, bath, now .”

Theo rolled her eyes, letting her hair down from the knot atop her head. “Whatever you say,” she hummed, kicking off her shoes.  She walked down to the lower chamber of the room, audibly requesting a bathtub from the room.  Sebastian could hear the room adjusting itself, the floor in the other room opening up to reveal a large clawfoot bathtub near the window.  He followed at a lazy pace, watching as she stripped her uniform off and kicked it to the side. Leaning to the side of the doorway, he stared as Theo stepped into a steaming bath.

“Happy now?” she mused, splashing water out of the tub. “Are you going to join me?”

Sebastian smiled, shaking his head. “I’m already clean–but I’ll sit here.”  he said, pulling a stool up to the tub.  “Perhaps the room can conjure me a book.”

“I’d much rather talk to you,” Theo rested her elbows on the edge of the tub. “I might say, you’ve gotten the perfect opportunity to have me naked, yet you’d rather fool around in the Undercroft.”

Sebastian leaned down from the stool, placing a finger under her chin to lift it up. “You’re tired,” he murmured. “And I’d rather you relax. You’ve had quite a taxing day.”

And so, Sebastian watched Theo melt into the bath, the room having conjured her favorite bar of soap.  They talked about their first day of school, the homework they’d already been assigned, and any gossip they’d overheard during class. Ominis and Poppy were still painfully shy around one another, Theo had reported.  Sebastian eavesdropped on a conversation between Garreth and Leander, the latter already plotting how to brew his spiked potions under Sharp’s watchful eye.

“Is it really true about Philippa Greengrass?” Sebastian asked as Theo stepped out of the tub, wrapping herself in a robe the room had provided her.

Theo sighed, shrugging. “I don’t know. Probably. I saw her in Diagon Alley when I met up with Grace and Nerida to buy school supplies.  She definitely looks further along than two months, I’ll tell you that.” Theo twisted her hair, wringing out the water. “She looked absolutely miserable.”

The room creaked again; this time, a large bed appeared at the other end of the room.  Without a word, the two meandered over to the edge.  It seemed to know both of their needs–there was a nightlight and a book on the table next to Sebastian’s side, as well as a valet stand for his clothes.  Theo’s side was empty, save for a rack that had a simple nightgown draped over it.

“Poor Larson,” Sebastian sighed.  He shrugged off his uniform shirt, hanging it on the stand as he sat on the bed to work on his shoes. “I mean, can you imagine?  Never knowing if it’s your child?”

“It’s the reality of things,” Theo mused, hanging the robe.  “I doubt the Bulstrodes will ever say anything, especially since they went through with the wedding.” She slid the nightgown on, slipping into the bed. “I honestly can’t believe she’s having a baby.  A whole baby.”

Sebastian hung his pants and socks, dropping his shoes as he hopped into the bed. While the rest of the room had darkened, he flicked on the nightlight, thumbing through the magical theory book the room had produced for him.  As Sebastian read, Theo sidled up to him, drawing circles on his chest. There was a pregnant pause between the couple, until Sebastian cleared his throat.

“Would you like to have children someday?” he asked quietly. “I just realized I’ve never asked.”

Theo nuzzled her cheek into him. “I think I would,” she whispered. “With you. When we're older, of course.”

Sebastian’s heart fluttered, shutting the book and setting it down on the nightstand. He pulled her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “We’ll raise them in London then,” he said confidently. “Somewhere they can go to museums, to the theater.  We’ll raise the smartest buggers in Hogwarts’s history. And maybe on the weekends and school holidays, we’ll stay in Feldcroft. We'll spend Christmas in Feldcroft,” he trailed off. “That sounds good to me.”

“Planning already? Awfully forward of you.” Theo laughed.

“You know me, always one step ahead.” Sebastian joked. “I’d like to plan my whole life with you, if that’s alright.” His voice softened. 

Theo merely hummed in agreement as Sebastian stroked her hair. Her breathing slowed, and he could soon hear her soft snores. There would be time for lovemaking (perhaps in the morning, but he knew both of them wouldn’t wake up early enough) but Theo was tired, and he wanted her to sleep. Sebastian relished the feeling of her sleeping in his arms, rubbing his chin on the top of her head. 

Before long, he too drifted off to sleep.  His dreams were filled with Theo, carrying his child, at home in Feldcroft.

September 1898

Sebastian opened his eyes, immediately turning his head to the right.  As he’d hoped and dreamt, Theo was laying face down next to him, her wild hair splayed on the pillows. She had always been a deep sleeper, barely stirring as he dragged his fingers up and down her spine.  She shivered, but then relaxed back into the sheets, snoring lightly.

Perfect, beautiful, Theo. This was always how he’d imagined it, the two of them waking up in bed together.

Sebastian slid out from under the sheets, naked as the day he was born.  He padded into Theo’s dressing room, hoping to fix some of the mess they’d made the night before. Florence the owl was hooting angrily in the window, her stand having been knocked over.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian laughed, setting it upright. “Don’t be too angry.”  

The owl merely clicked her beak, demanding treats.  Sebastian happily obliged the bird, thankful that she’d spent many hours delivering him letters.

Finding his wand under a discarded cloak, he slipped on one of Theo’s fluffy robes and got to work.  First casting reparo on the changing screen, the lattice work threaded back together as it went to its intended space. He then started picking up the boxes and papers that had been flung off Theo’s desk in their flurry of lovemaking–stacks of boxes filled with baubles, and then her letters.  Most of them were from him (he felt especially smug seeing some of the erotic letters he’d penned her were kept together with a sweet little ribbon) others from Ominis, Leander, and Natty.  He organized them on the desk, putting them in neat little piles. 

He picked up a letter; the penmanship was eerily close to his, albeit a bit tidier.  He swallowed thickly as his eyes poured over the text.  Something about a new job, moving into a small flat.  How she and Theo needed to find time together, apologizing for going so long without notice.

Love, Anne

Sebastian shut his eyes, imagining Theo sitting with Anne for tea. Were they friends now?  Did they see each other often? His heart pattered at the thought of his long lost sister with Theo, waiting for him to come home.

“You’re up early.”

He whirled around, seeing Theo in the doorway.  Her hair looked like a bird’s nest, clad in a rumpled nightgown. She gave him a saucy grin, tiptoeing over the mess towards him. “And you look hilarious in my robe.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, putting the letter down on the desk as Theo wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. 

“How did you sleep?” Sebastian asked. 

“Deeper than I have in years,” Theo gave a dreamy sigh. “You’ve worn me out.”

Sebastian bit down on his lip. It would take all of his willpower not to stay in bed with her for another day.  The thought was tempting though; the sight of her, lips still swollen from a night of lovemaking, was enough to drive him mad.  He lifted his hand to her cheek, letting his thumb run over her puffy lips. Looking up at him through her thick lashes, Theo’s lips parted to let his finger slide in.

“You can’t do this to me,” Sebastian strained. “We have to get out of the house.”

She let out a sparkling laugh, pulling back from him. “I know,” she rolled her eyes. “We should get to the apothecary before too many people are out and about.”

Sebastian nodded. They had played it rather risky the night before–while he’d spent the better half of five years imagining Theo’s belly swelling with his child, he’d rather hoped it would be after they had settled down.  The matter of his placement was still at hand, and he hadn’t even told Theo about Rothwell’s proposition for him to stay in Cairo yet.

Another time, Sebastian thought.

“Go off, get dressed. I’ll meet you back here when you’re done.” Theo said, sitting down at her vanity.  She picked up her brush, trying to tame her locks. “We’ll go to Diagon Alley."

Sebastian nodded, walking over to the mirror to go back to his flat.  Before he stepped in, he turned back, watching her at the dressing table.  She was humming a song as she pinned up her hair, twirling it into some fashionable updo.  “What?” Theo asked, pins in her mouth. She turned; the silver chain was still around her neck, the ring dangling at her decolletage. 

Sebastian shook his head, smiling. “Nothing.  Just glad to be home.”

The streets of Diagon Alley were bustling, despite the early hour.  Sebastian had put on a nice linen suit, slicking back his hair.  Theo’s arm was laced through his; she wore a pretty purple day dress, with one of those terribly impractical hats atop her head.

“I’d forgotten how formal everything is here,” Sebastian mused. He’d wanted nothing more than to throw an arm around her, pressing kisses as they walked through the streets. Instead, they stayed a healthy distance away from one another, walking politely.

“It’s just for now,” Theo reminded him. “Once Ominis and I have figured out a way to end things–”

“I know,” Sebastian grumbled.  

“In good time, my love.” Theo murmured, patting his arm. 

They walked down to the apothecary; once inside, they went their separate ways.  Theo pretended to look at ingredients as Sebastian dealt with the shopkeep.

“I’m looking for a few items,” Sebastian said quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Despite being a grown man, having to ask for the ingredients was still mortifying.  He could never forget the way Mr. Pippin had laughed when he bought a surplus of ingredients the summer before seventh year.  He’d even given his own advice on how to brew it, leaving Sebastian red in the face.

“What kind, sir?” The old shopkeeper asked innocently.

“Er, tansy, peppermint, and wormwood.” Sebastian pulled at his collar. 

The shopkeeper gave him a curious look. “I do have those on hand–and a particular brew pre-made, in case you needed it sooner.” their eyes flew up to Theo, who was still innocently browsing.

“That would be great,” Sebastian rasped.  

The shopkeeper nodded, turning to go down into the cellar. As soon as they were out of sight, Theo walked over, laughing. 

“I can’t believe you’re still embarrassed.” she snorted. “What are you, a teenage boy again?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “You buy it then,” he demanded.

Theo chuckled, fixing the lapels of his jacket. “I vividly remember you promising that you would buy it. After the third…no, was it the fourth time…”

Sebastian was definitely red in the face. “Have mercy on me,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist. “You weren’t complaining, if I recall correctly.”

Theo bit down on her lower lip, her eyes dropping to his. “No, I wasn’t.”

Sebastian yearned to kiss her, but the bell at the front of the store rang.  The two of them jumped several feet apart as customers walked in. A few ladies came into the store, and to Sebastian’s surprise, Violet McDowell. She had her hand on her stomach, clearly pregnant.  

“Sebastian!” Violet exclaimed. “What on earth are you doing here?”

Sebastian gave her a meek smile. “Nice to see you, Violet.”

Violet turned her head to Theo, her nose turned up. “And Theodora, how lovely to see you.  You must be so excited that Sebastian is home.”

Theo gave Violet one of her saccharine smiles, one that Sebastian knew was obviously fake. “Vi, so good to see you.  How is your husband?”

Violet swung around to Sebastian, showing off a diamond ring. “It’s Violet McLaggen now,” she announced, waggling her fingers. “Married last year. He’s lovely. A junior undersecretary to the Minister of Magic himself.” she bragged.

“How nice,” Sebastian feigned.

“Due any day now, aren’t you?” Theo interjected. “That must be so exciting.”

“Buzzing with excitement,” Violet rubbed her stomach proudly. “Oh Theo, you really should be settling down soon before you’re too old.  I keep telling Grace and Nerida the same. Imelda however, she’s a lost cause,” Violet giggled. “How is Ominis?”

Sebastian hardened his jaw; he could tell Theo was also fighting the urge to set Violet aflame.  

“Oh he’s just fine, he’s actually–”

“Your ingredients, sir.” The shopkeeper said loudly. “And I had a few vials of the brew on hand.”  They set the purple vials on the counter, out for everyone to see. “So for the tansy, the peppermint, and wormwood it’ll be six galleons. With the potions it’ll be–”

“Here,” Sebastian said hastily, shoving money towards the shopkeeper.  Theo kept her eyes glued to Violet as he stuffed the bag into his jacket pocket.

“Well, my, my.” Violet simpered, a smug look on her face. “I see not much has changed.”

Theo rolled her eyes. “Oh Vi, I wouldn’t assume.” she snapped. 

Violet held up a gloved hand. “No assumptions from me, Theo.” she grinned. “I’ll let you two go; it was lovely to see you both.”

Theo and Sebastian left the apothecary, both red in the face.  Sebastian gripped the bag with the ingredients and potions, feeling more embarrassed than he had in years.

“I would’ve slapped her all over again if she wasn’t pregnant,” Theo grumbled. “I hate her.”

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.” Sebastian said. “I mean, everyone knows not to trust Violet McDowell.”

Theo crossed her arms, shifting uncomfortably. “Word travels fast around here, Sebastian. I wouldn’t be surprised if some rumor was in tomorrow’s Witch Weekly.” She craned her neck, appraising the crowd. “We should tell Ominis.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I hate this,” he muttered. “I hate that we have to pretend.”

“Well, if you had told me you were coming home, I could’ve dealt with it ahead of time.” Theo sighed. “No use being glum about it.”

The pair walked in silence, Theo’s heeled boots clacking against the cobblestone as she tightened her grip on his arm.  Sebastian had promised to take her dress shopping to replace the one he’d torn to shreds the night before, but all he really wanted was to be home with her, free to kiss her as he pleased. And as beautiful as the purple gown was, Sebastian imagined it would look far, far better on the floor.

He cleared his throat as they walked down the street. “Did you still want to go dress shopping?” he asked. “Because if not…”

Theo released her grip on his arm, dancing as she turned to face him with a coy smile. “Let’s go another time.  I can think of many more fun things to do at home.” 

Sebastian grinned broadly, pushing the entire awkward morning out of his mind.  He pulled Theo into the closest dark corner, tugging her close as they apparated back to her house.

Keeping their relationship a secret was just an annoyance for now. He’d have to find the right opportunity to snatch the ring around her neck.  Once he had it, he could propose again, and then they could truly live the lives they’d planned.  A house in London to raise the children, and Feldcroft for Christmas. Perhaps he could convince her to stay in Cairo with him for a few more years before they settled down.  Twenty three was still young, after all.

They reappeared in Theo’s dressing room. Theo immediately started taking her hair down, her dark tresses swaying back and forth as she struggled on the buttons of her skirt. Beaming, Sebastian shrugged off his jacket, leaving the bag of potions on the table. Two new dresses couldn’t be that expensive, he thought, helping Theo tug off her skirts.  She shrieked with laughter as he walked her into the bedroom, buttons falling to the ground in the corridor.

There would be time to talk–but for now, Sebastian had to make up for lost time. 

[reloha]

Penelope Featherington and the Quality of Friendship

If Penelope used her wit, even her cruel wit, but any wit, more, out loud in front of the ton, she would have suitors. Philippa found a suitor over cheese, for pity’s sake. “Lady Whistledown’s“ plant puns received praise from her sister’s suitor. Prudence is having trouble because she has neither wit nor wits, not because she is too mean (and they’re all sabotaged by their mother’s “cutting edge” fashion taste). The man Eloise danced with, whom she called out for trying to “not-like-other-girls" her, would probably have gone crazy for mean Penelope. If Penelope were as vocally, publicly mean as Cressida, she would either be in her group or smashing that group. (I am not saying that being mean in public would have been the best of Penelope's available choices, but it would be more honest and, ironically, do less damage.)

Her mother pays only the most cursory lip service to Penelope’s getting married and has probably already begun to think of her as the daughter who will stay with her through her old age. But if Penelope allowed herself to speak and let either her nice or sharp sides (or both) be seen by more people, there would be suitors.

Alas, then she would have to consider other possibilities besides her long-time crush (or love, look at it how you will), and that is what she is most afraid of doing. She cannot let go of the dream of Colin, and so she embraces Whistledown, at first perhaps as a one-time lark (she tries to get out of debuting, remember, but her ability to obtain content for her “blog,” her “great” life’s work, becomes intrinsically tied to being in society). This (possible) lark becomes an identity, perhaps her truest identity, one that allows her wicked thoughts a free rein. Yet Cressida Cowper, the person outside of her family who has the best claim to be Penelope's nemesis, is rarely seen in the Whistledown papers as far as the audience can divine, except for the occasional knock on her fashion choices (with bonus slut shaming). The one time that springs to mind is aimed at running a modiste out of business to curry favor with another modiste, Mme. Delacroix, all in order to eliminate a perceived threat to Whistledown and gain leverage over Delacroix to obtain her assistance with—you guessed it—errands for Whistledown.

At first, Penelope uses Whistledown to lift the Bridgertons up. They are a family of “perfectly handsome sons and perfectly beautiful daughters.” If the audience never finds out who Whistledown is, it scarcely seems to matter at this point; she could just be one of any number of anonymous people in the ton and not part of the story at all. Whistledown uplifts Daphne at her debut. It is Whistledown, not the Queen, who names Daphne “a diamond of the first water” (something apparently forgotten in season two).

But then Anthony gets in the way of Daphne’s suitors, and perhaps Eloise offhandedly mentions it to Penelope (“I can’t think why she wants to deal with them anyway but Anthony is being overbearing” or similar), and Penelope realizes she can criticize Daphne, the pretty Bridgerton who apparently never thought of being friends with her or guiding her. Or the sister Eloise is kind of annoyed with (but would never really want to see hurt, which one would think Penelope has to realize). According to Daphne, Lady Whistledown all but declares her “unmarriageable,” a devastating fate for most Regency ladies and something Penelope fears herself to be. Lady Whistledown is powerful, and Penelope has gotten a taste for that power.

Penelope has crossed over into Whistledown’s dark side as early as this, striking out at someone she perceives as being above her and cutting her down to size. (In the books, nothing on this level occurs, although one cannot go so far as to say Lady Whistledown is a benign force there.) Yes, on the show, she is willing to “help out” by printing the Berbrooke gossip, but is she helping out? It makes good copy for her. It’s actually something of a scoop. But what if it were a lie? Has Lady Whistledown ever fact checked any of the things she has heard people talk about? How, even, could she?

For some reason, she begins to take shots at the Queen, a reckless and nonsensical thing to do. The Queen may have some input with the Prince Regent (this is never clear in Bridgerton but in the prequel-sequel-spinoff series, Queen Charlotte, we see it played out at least on a personal level), but her domain is the social season, and she has the time at least to set others on Whistledown’s trail. And what has Charlotte done to Penelope? Someone posted that the Queen looked at her with disgust (she wasn’t impressed with the three Featheringtons’ joint debut, perhaps, but that was hardly directed at Penelope personally).

While in her first season, Penelope tries to be a little discreet about her secret identity, in her second season, she becomes more obvious. When someone in a group of girls says that Whistledown will not write anything because they are all in the country, Penelope asks if she thinks so and smiles a secretive smile that could not be more blatant.

Lady Bridgerton puts Eloise and Penelope into that group of girls hoping Eloise, and perhaps Penelope too, will make more friends. Eloise asks why the girls can’t say no to their mothers’ edicts regarding suitors and is met with shocked looks. (Eloise is criticized online for this as well, for this apparently means she is inconsiderate of these girls who cannot on any account question anything, but it is entirely possible that one or two of them thought about this later and their lives were changed in even small ways by it. The idea that every woman in the Regency era never questioned anything or did anything is not true anyway, and, if it were, this is still Regency fantasy, even without dragons.)

Neither Eloise nor Penelope makes a new friend. For Penelope, who secretly longs to be part of the social life of the ton, not on the outskirts, this is a huge missed opportunity, if only she would realize it. In addition to friendship to offer, some of these girls probably have brothers or cousins or even a young uncle whom they could introduce to Penelope or even to her annoying sister, Prudence. Perhaps more importantly, Penelope might begin to see the other girls as people, not just fodder for her society pages, and she might come out into the light instead of remaining in the shadows with Lady Whistledown. But she might have to let go of the dream of Colin, the thing she most dreads doing, the thing she cannot bear to do.

When Edwina exchanges a few pleasantries with Penelope, Penelope could also use that as a springboard for a friendship, but she instead walks off to talk with Colin and never sends a note to Edwina or makes any attempt at friendship, even when Edwina is spending a great deal of time with the Bridgertons. Eloise appears to have the beginning of a friendship, or at least a mutual admiration society, with Edwina’s sister, Kate. The only friends Penelope appears to want are Eloise and Colin, and she gets annoyed when the former interrupts her while she is talking with the latter, but she never takes the step of sharing her feelings for Colin with Eloise. Although Eloise might have been puzzled by those feelings had she done so, it is difficult to believe she would be anything other than supportive of her friend, as she was when she divined that Penelope enjoyed all the parties and social whirl—the opposite of what Penelope does for Eloise when she confides her burgeoning feelings to Theo.

There may be several issues of her paper that only reveal engagements prior to the official announcements or critique fashion choices, including the Featheringtons’ (which would work to her benefit if her mother would pay attention—unfortunately, she can’t just write “Penelope Featherington looks better in pink, Lady Featherington”), and maybe she doesn’t write about couples sneaking off to the coat closet, but she is not kind. She does not wield her considerable power to help anyone unless it is in Whistledown’s best interest and will sell more papers or in line with Penelope’s current agenda, the things she believes will achieve what she wants. Breaking up Marina and Colin, getting Eloise away from the print shop and her trail, not letting Eloise do a mock version of Whistledown because Whistledown is hers—these are Penelope’s goals at different points. Penelope could tell Eloise the truth about Marina (at least Marina would not have been publicly shamed and maybe the Bridgertons would have even helped her in some way) before writing about her, the truth about Whistledown before writing about Eloise, but she does not. Before writing about Eloise, she could go to the Queen and confess. She does not.

Penelope claims, rather disingenuously and conveniently, that the Queen will never believe her. It is absurd to think Penelope has left no trail, no evidence that she is Whistledown. Even if she has burned all her drafts after sending the final to the printer’s, the printer will remember her as the person who came to make arrangements in the guise of an Irish servant (particularly as she spoke quite insultingly to him). The Queen can’t execute anyone. She could hire an assassin, in theory, but this isn’t Game of Thrones and Charlotte isn’t a monster. Penelope could go to the Queen and offer to work with her. She could confess to Eloise before Eloise figures it out, and they could come up with a plan together. She could just take the consequences of what she has done and live with them. She had other choices besides throwing her friend under the omnibus (which didn’t exist yet, but, oh, well) to “save” her.

Penelope could confess to the Queen and offer to prove she is Whistledown by having the Queen give her a false piece of gossip and allowing herself to be placed in a room in the palace while she writes it up as a mock Whistledown column. Surely Penelope is clever enough to do that, isn’t she?

Penelope tells Mme. Delacroix that the Queen wants to be flattered, so Penelope knows this. She knows the Queen isn’t out to destroy Whistledown. She could write an issue with something flattering the Queen, but she doesn’t. She writes a post that will separate Eloise from someone she has come to care for and from the people who are not rich but want to do something in the world.

For Eloise to have a cross-class love interest is not madness, although unusual in the world of the story. Theo is a printer’s apprentice and a writer who could very well own his own business someday, and Eloise is working on a novel, or at least was in season one. Both of them could be published someday beyond political pamphlets, although those are fine too. (And, yes, Penelope and Colin both write too.)

Of course, this wouldn’t make Theo a “gentleman” by the definition of the time, but Lady Mary wed a man who was not in the ton, and, although she hoped her daughters would not have to choose between love and security, it is doubtful that she regretted her choice. Her husband also wound up with a very good job in India as secretary to a royal family, and, had he died later, their financial circumstances might have been better. It seems as if Lady Mary's parents refused to put a brave face on things and instead hid away, but the Queen’s only rebuke for Lady Mary is that she did not say goodbye to her, not that she married “down” or against her family’s wishes. Eloise’s family would probably not refuse to see her as the Sheffields did with Lady Mary if she were to marry "down" (Daphne could remind Violet that she said she wished for Daphne to have the very best, not in rank but in love), and not being invited to society parties would hardly be a loss to Eloise.

Many of the people who say this would ruin her younger sisters' chances also argue that every scandal the Bridgertons go through is short-lived (which is somewhat the case) and they can never be truly ruined. (Although it’s unlikely the show will go the Theo route, more's the pity, if it were to do so, one would expect this to be a long enough road that Francesca's first marriage would already have happened, and we know her second husband wouldn't care about her sister's so-called scandal anyway. And Hyacinth, well, Hyacinth is rather similar to Eloise in many ways.)

Theo was an important friendship to Eloise and going to those meetings an important part of her growth, facts Penelope would realize about her friend if she would listen to her instead of gaslighting her.

But Eloise is not Penelope’s best friend. Penelope’s best friend is Lady Whistledown. It is Lady Whistledown whom Penelope protects, and she is the one to whom Penelope always turns when she has a problem. She scarcely shares a problem with Eloise outside of her confusion about where babies come from. She never comes to Eloise about her father’s death (which, to be fair, scarcely seems to faze her, and that is probably understandable); about Marina, the only other person who is close to being Penelope’s friend (and it can’t be because she respects Marina’s secret); about her feelings for Colin; about how to get her mother off this yellow kick. When Eloise asks her about herself, Penelope almost invariably changes the subject. There is one memorable and revealing conversation while they lie on the grass in which Penelope extols the joys and power of not being seen, of being invisible, of being a wallflower. It’s a fascinating speech, and she has every opportunity to tell Eloise about Whistledown after it, for good or ill, to ‘fess up, but she doesn't. Instead, she continues down her dark path.

By the end of the season, Penelope has destroyed her friendship with Eloise, and she has had her illusions of Colin destroyed by overheard words (not staying long enough to hear what follows, whether it’s “Penelope deserves better than me” or “Penelope is like a sister to me” or "Who would want to court Penelope?"). Her bridges are effectively burned and to rebuild them would take meticulous care, diligent work, and more than a little self-reflection, as well as attempts at apology and amends.

Lady Whistledown is the only friend Penelope has left.

Special thanks to @dollypopup and @torchwood-99, who have written so many thoughtful posts.

[draconicocelot]

Phantom Pain

Summary: Ballister has a bad episode of phantom limb pain, luckily his trusty sidekick is there to help him through it. just some good ol' fashioned found family fluff 💗

Ballister never considered himself skilled enough in the field of medicine to pursue a career in it, but he was quite knowledgeable in the areas of science and engineering. He was able to craft his own prosthetic arm and an implantable socket that acts as a metallic ball-and-socket joint attached to his right shoulder region. Its integrated biomechanical design protects his residual limb, keeps his arm securely attached, and allows for a full range of motion. He couldn’t believe how quickly he had to adapt to such a significant change. It was only one swing of a sword, one swing of Ambrosius’ sword, that left him without his right arm.  At the time of impact, Ballister was so horror-struck by the laser firing from the hilt of his sword that he barely noticed Ambrosius swinging his blade upwards. It wasn’t until it was dug halfway into the deep muscle of his arm that the pain brought him back to the moment, crying out and clutching the gorey mess that remained. He looked back at Ambrosius, the one he once saw himself spending the rest of his life with, as his sword fell to his feet, a look of great regret painting his features. 

He wasn’t sure if his relationship with Ambrosius would ever recover. His best friend, who he had grown up with since he was allowed to join the other knights in training as a child, had just attacked him. No, disarmed him. He was simply doing his job… right? Regardless, after discovering the corruption seeping through the cracks of the institution with the Director behind the reins, Ambrosius too found out the truth. Now with the Director no longer controlling the knights of the realm, they were free to operate as they saw fit. Ambrosius was deemed the knight commander, with Ballister right by his side. However, while Ballister never blamed Ambrosius for the loss of his arm, the damage had been done, and he now had to deal with the aftermath. Most of all: the pain.

The episodes seemed to grow worse with each passing day after the death of the queen. Though once several weeks went by, it wasn’t as frequent, at least, the severe pain wasn’t. The loss itself was agonizingly painful, leaving him to hobble to the ruins of his future home, the only place he found that was safe to hide in. Remnants of medical supplies were enough to stop the bleeding, at least until he could construct a more permanent solution. While the pain slowly decreased with his new prosthetic in place, it would never be the same as what he was used to for so many years. He hadn’t felt irritation and discomfort so severe since the days following the loss of his arm, but every once and a while the sensation would rear its ugly head.

He was just sitting on the couch when it hit, their green blanket draped over his legs as he watched television. At least it was something he wasn’t upset about missing, just a mindless show about building houses and different architectural styles. Nimona was never a fan of that type of entertainment, always claiming it was too boring, which is why he usually only had it turned on when she was busy in her room. The tower had gone through many renovations after she returned, turning an evil lair into an evil home, at least, as Nimona would claim.

He kept her neon-colored lights, the used couch and coffee table, and her drawings that remained on the wall. Even many of the weapons they possessed were hung up in a more secure yet visible space, just to keep her desired level of chaos with more rounded edges. The once-titled “murder wall”, now referred to as the “family wall”, was decorated with memories of the times they spent together. 

They even included Ambrosius, his face appearing in many photos of the three of them with a few professional looking photographs taken during a photo shoot of the happy couple. Well, with a few in-between shots involving a naughty pink snake wrapping around Ballister’s shoulders. Or those that showed a little pink bird landing in Ambrosius’ long golden hair, building herself a nest as Ballister threw his head back with laughter. These were the moments he tried to remind himself of when the discomfort became too intense to ignore.

It began with a slight itch, a prickling feeling starting in his residual limb. His prosthetic arm was resting on his work bench on the other side of the room, so once the feeling started he assumed it was because he was used to wearing it unless he was asleep. Before he could swing his legs off of the couch, the once harmless annoyance shot through his phantom limb like a bolt of lightning, bringing him back down to the couch with a pained yelp. 

“Boss? You good down there?” Nimona called from the upper levels of the tower. Ballister attempted to respond, but the sting pulsed through him so deeply that he felt it on his entire right side. The only noise he could muster was a whimper. “What happened? Did you cut your other arm off?” The voice grew louder as she came downstairs, approaching the couch with her usual teasing behavior. 

“It’s… It’s nothing…” Ballister hissed through his teeth, his face wrinkled with distress. He brought his left hand up to massage his other shoulder, attempting to dispel the pain. Nimona’s expression softened, leaning on the arm of the couch. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing, do you want me to get Ambrosius?” Ballister shook his head in response. 

“No! No… he’ll just take it too seriously.”

“I don’t think you’re taking it seriously enough, boss,” Nimona stated, her draconic tail extending and swishing. Ballister shifted himself so that he was lying directly on his back, rotating his right shoulder as much as he could to keep it moving.

“It’s just a temporary bout, it’ll pass,” he muttered in a strained voice, closing his eyes and pulling the blanket up further. He tried to zone out, to listen to the faint sound coming from the television or the quiet hum of the air conditioning unit. While the initial shock faded away, he still felt a twinge in his arm, creeping down his forearm and burning down to his fingertips. What a cruel joke, to feel such realistic pain in an arm he no longer had. 

This dark mental spiral he was taking himself down was interrupted by the introduction of a new feeling. It was something more pleasant than what he was otherwise dealing with. An addition of weight against his stump. Something soft and warm had landed against his upper right side, and it brought an immediate sense of comfort. As he glanced down, he saw a furry pink cat curled up on his chest, her bottom half on the couch with her upper body draped over him like a weighted blanket. 

“Nimona?” 

“I know that look better than anyone. That’s the look of someone who says they want to be alone, but in reality it’s really a time when they shouldn’t be alone,” she explained, “besides, they say a cat's purr helps promote faster healing or some shit like that.” Ballister chuckled at the comment, more relieved than he admitted aloud to have her company. 

What he hadn’t mentioned to Nimona at the time was that the last few times he dealt with this situation, he was alone. He was lying on the cold hard ground, staring up at the ceiling with tears streaming down his face. The burning sensation was nothing compared to his boundless grief of losing the queen, it was almost too much for him to bear. He truly loved the queen, she was the closest figure he had in his life to a mother, the one who encouraged him to be the best person he could be. Now, she was gone, killed by his sabotaged sword, witnessing her expression of anguish from a front row seat. He was used to not only the torment he experienced, but the feeling that he deserved it. He didn’t kill the queen, he knew that, he wasn’t a murderer… but the queen was killed because of her kindness in accepting him, and the Director’s malicious and horrid views of the way the Institute should have been run. 

As Nimona began to purr, the gentle vibration soothed Ballsiter’s muscles, the damaged nerves calming their attack. He still felt a festering burn and the occasional twitch every few seconds, but her presence brought him an overwhelming feeling of tranquility. Gently stroking her back, he took a deep breath in and slowly let it go.

“You were never a monster, Nimona,” Ballister mumbled softly, moving his hand higher to scratch the top of her head, running his fingers over the soft fur between her ears. 

“Glad someone believes that,” Nimona replied, one eye open as she looked over at him. Ballister huffed in response, a gentle smile across his lips. 

“You’re a miracle.” She stopped purring for a moment, the words he just spoke hitting her harder than she expected them to. Both eyes now slowly opened, meeting his as he sat up, his back against the arm rest. 

“…You really think that?” she asked, shifting back into her human form, the one she was in when she first met Ballister. He nodded in response, moving his hand back to where it was when she was still a cat, stroking the top of her head. 

“Course I do, I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” Nimona couldn’t stand to look into his eyes any longer, full of such genuine appreciation that she had to look at something else before she felt too soft. Glancing over at the television, she saw the boring show from before was still playing and smirked a bit. 

“Alright fine… I’ll let you keep this garbage home improvement show on,” she groaned, situating herself so that she was still laying against his right side, using him as a pillow. Ballister leaned down and pulled the blanket up over her, rolling his eyes before turning the volume back up.

“Maybe if you actually watched it you would find that it’s not so garbage after all,” Ballister hummed. 

“Mmm, I doubt that old man.”

[melmedarda]

@meljaymicrofics ⸻ cherries ⸻ wc: 913 ⸻ rated G

Mel's lips taste like cherries. Her mouth is dark red wine, of the finest variety. Like the bottles his parents only broke out for their anniversaries. The finest thing he’s ever tasted, her lips have the power of an addiction. It’s a mistake. They are buzzed, and she’ll regret this in the morning. (He won’t, he’ll never pull away first, will take whatever scraps she’ll give him because he’s desperate and hungry and hopeless gone for her.) On his back is how he carries her, echoing the habits of shared university days. and she relaxes against his back, the ghost of her lips tattooed on his spine. On his mind. She’s wearing the ring he gave her. Wearing his hoodie too, and it hangs off her. Far too large to be fashionable. Too endearing not to stir feelings he tries hard to ignore. Whispers of mine mine mine. It’s his idea, his fucking stupid idea because this is a dream that haunts him, this dream in which she is his. Dreams aren't to be messed with. The entire thing is a joke, of course; she’s lounging against his side at some random eatery they’ve been frequenting.

Outside the windows, the sun lowers over Piltover, and Mel sips her beer, murmuring around hoe she's like something sweet. He’s a joke because it is him who belongs whole-heartedly to her, and he’s got this stupid grin on his face as he extricates himself from her warmth and lowers himself onto one knee at her side.

"Jayce, what are you doing?" the look on her face is incredulous, but her eyes betray curiosity and fond amusement. "Come back, I was comfortable."

They are drunk, too warm on this summer night. He'll use this this fact in order to deny everything later. And by then maybe it will be true, that he's too tired, too drunk that he's lost his mind. Maybe then he'll be able to laugh about it like the joke he means it to be. But right now, Jayce is looking up at Mel. He feels an errant smile creeping along his lips.

Their friendship is a binding cord. A force intangible that upends and encroaches upon reality. Wider and wider is goes. Tighter and tighter it binds until his heart fails beneath it.

"Play along, M," he whispers, making a show of dropping his hand to his pocket. "They give free deserts to those who are celebrating something, anniversaries, proposals, and the like."

Her eyes narrow, lips twitching conspiratorially. "And you know this how? Been proposing to many girls here?" His heart clenches the words nearly tumble from his lips. He grasps for them, reins them back and stuffs them down down down.

"Never. I saw a couple here during Valentine's. Heard the waiter announce it was on the house." The ring he pulls out is one that fits her slender finger perfectly. He knows because he has measured it, though not intending to use it for this purpose.

"You've come here without me?" Mel asks, a small frown furrowing her brow (a frown which he wants nothing more than to kiss away). And he understands why. It was their place. But sometimes, their friendship is too dangerous for him, their little push and pull. Especially when he is the only one to see it in that light.

Within him, his fragile heart and mind rebel. Mel is your friend, your dearest one. You will ruin this by your feelings, and we cannot live without her. Your love is not enough to keep her.

"Might I remind you, Mel, that you were still dating Salo then." Jayce her best friend and he hates her boyfriends. He hates that she cannot find happiness in him alone. But Salo is gone now, and Jayce still remains. "Back to the topic. Free desert." He clears his throat then, raising his voice a bit as to get the attention of those around them.

"Mel, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" He hides none of it now. The love he will not speak off, the tenderness far beyond friendship that he feels towards her. Lets his hope peek through.

There's a strange look in her eye, one he's never seen before as she watches him. For a moment, he feels like running away, disappearing, certain she can tell see the depths of his emotions (she's always been rather good at reading him).

But her smile widens until Jayce feels like he is staring at the sun as she nods, reaching for his hands. In that moment, he is jubilant. He takes Mel's hands in his. Relishes their softness as he slips the ring onto her finger. Tries not to think about it too much as their fellow diners clap and cheer.

And then, the bittersweet sets in. She accepts but it is not real. It is a joke. One of which he is the pea-brained punchline for putting himself in such a situation. Mel is still smiling as Jayce gets to his feet, but there is a lump in Jayce's throat that will not go away.

From the corner of his eye, two of the hospitality team members move forward, a large smile on their faces and something sweet in their hands. Something with cherries on top.

[carewyncromwell]

Andre, meanwhile, rode on his own horse beside Orion a good ways ahead of the others to talk privately. Erika, Charlie, Bill, Carewyn, and Skye all watched them from a distance – they couldn’t hear what the two Princes were saying, but their discussion appeared very serious. Andre’s posture was oddly stiff and guarded, and Orion’s looked oddly submissive and detached.  Then, very abruptly, Andre actually started to laugh. The sound startled everyone, Erika most of all. “What?” said Erika. “What’s so funny?” Orion looked back at them with a small wry smile. “Merely shoes, my lady.” “Shoes?” repeated Erika, bewildered. “Don’t bother questioning it,” Skye sighed tiredly from her spot in the driver’s seat as Orion faced forward again and continued his conversation with Andre. “Orion never stays focused on one thing whenever he’s talking to somebody – be glad he didn’t randomly start talking about swallows and the color green…” “Those were brought up too, actually,” Andre said loudly over his shoulder. He flashed Carewyn an amused look, and Carewyn couldn’t help but smile a bit in return. It really sounded like they were finding common ground…

~Cinderella AU, Part 11: The Truth Comes Out

x~x~x~x

Hey all! Had this image in my head of Orion and Andre in the Cinderella AU, and at work, I decided to try to sketch it out! (God bloody hell, are horses hard!)

Orion and Andre -- who are princes of their respective countries of Florence and Royaume in this AU -- are both dressed somewhat uncharacteristically in this, as peasant-raised bastard prince Orion had to dress in his finest supposedly to seek out a formal meeting with the royal family of Royaume and Andre had to dress in a peasant-worthy (but still fashionable) disguise originally picked out by Carewyn to sneak out of his palace. Both, however, are inspired by pre-Renaissance fashion -- Orion's is more monochromatic because his country, Florence, is based off Italy, which embraced a much more conservative and less flashy sense of dress in that period. (Royaume -- and the country that inspired it, pre-Renaissance France -- has more colorful fashion, by and large.) You'll also notice Andre's horse is garbed with reins and a saddle, which Orion is riding bareback with no reins: I see Orion having first learned how to ride a horse bareback and preferring to let his steeds walk about completely free of reins or a saddle whenever possible.

As for the conversation alluded to in the quote above...well, I imagined it largely involved Carewyn. Because Andre was most displeased by the thought that Orion might've only engaged with his first real friend in the world and fashion buddy for life!! in an underhanded attempt to try to get at him. Fortunately Orion was eventually able to put Andre's mind at ease.

"I confess, there was a time, right after learning Carewyn was in your employ, that I saw her as my way in, to try to reach out to your family and broker peace between our countries. But even then, I never saw her as a tool, nor a pawn of any sort. Carewyn is...easy to admire. She is intelligent and compassionate -- courageous and creative. She is intriguing and contradictory, in the most likable of ways. She is modest, and yet proud -- she is stoic, and yet passionate. At points it feels like she would accept nothing less than flying heaven-bound, like an eagle, and yet, truthfully, I see her more akin to a swallow...preferring to guide others back toward shore and home, after a long year at sea. She is...inspirational. Least of all because...she saw fit to forgive my transgression toward her -- my deception of her -- with merely faith in me as her stated reason. However much I hoped that she would, and however much I thought I knew her well enough that I thought she might understand my reasoning...I cannot deny that Carewyn would have had more than enough reason to cast me off, and quite discourteously. And yet my Lady Greensleeves...did not. Moreover, she actually spoke in defense of me. ...I can't even express how that makes me feel, it's a relief, but also...emboldening, warming. ...Inspiring." "...You...really do love Carewyn, don't you?" "...Most ardently." "Hm. ...Well...I admit, you do sound sincere. Though it still seems like an odd coincidence, that you two should collide right after Carewyn came to stay in the palace..." "I am one to believe in fate far more than coincidences. I know that Carewyn does not share my view, however. (small smile) ...Truthfully...I think I may have to thank you." "Me? Why?" "Well, from what I understand from Carewyn, you were the one who outfitted her, the day we met. I doubt Carewyn and I would've walked and talked as much as we did together, had it not been for your dreadfully uncomfortable pair of shoes."

This -- and Andre's laughter in response to it -- effectively broke the ice between the two princes. And from that point on, Prince Henri "Andre" of Royaume and Prince Cosimo "Orion" Amari VII of Florence considered each other friends.

[pokemonlolitaproject]

Blog Info (Read Before Requesting)

Requests are always open unless otherwise stated.

Request Status: Open

I accept requests for normal, shiny, mega, and gigantamax Pokemon

I don't take style or brand requests, it really limits possibilities if it makes sense I will take your preferences into account.

Please direct all requests to the ask box.

Please check my tags for your pokemon of choice before making your request.

I only do each version of a Pokemon once.

Fan Pokemon and fusion Pokemon are only requestable as part of an art trade or as a paid request.

All Alcremie color variants have been done but I'll still make other combinations as part of an art trade or as a paid request.

People have permission and encouragement to make fan art for the blog as long as they tag me/link the coords they're based on.

If you have tagged me in something and I haven't responded to it please feel free to message me directly, Tumblr can sometimes eat tags.

If you want to give me tips my Ko-fi is here 

Or if you want to help in a silly way I play a fun clicker game called pokefarm if you want to play I can help get you started with a welcome pack (please use name Lolohe12 as your referral if you do!)

PLP Inspired blogs:

A fantastic Fan-blog organizing my asks: TBA 

A Pokemon Fashion Blog: @pokemoninspiredfashion

Furfrou Styles:

Natural (Shiny)

Heart (Shiny)

Star (Shiny)

Diamond (Shiny)

Debutant (Shiny)

Matron (Shiny)

Dandy (Shiny)

Kabuki (Shiny)

Pharaoh (Shiny)

La Reine (Shiny)

To Do List:

[isekyaaa]

I think I mentioned it before but there's this specific trope I like where a group of friends grow up to become experts in their field and create this exclusive famed group just for them? I'm trying to flesh out a story idea based off that.

In this world, it's said that the Goddess, who loves mankind, imparts a shard of her power to every child that's born in the form of a gift. It's a common fairy tale told to children to strive to work hard to discover their gift. There are many interpretations to what this gift is—life, curiosity, love, etc—but most adults don't take it too seriously? In this world, there is also the concept of evil and filth.

The main character, after coming of age, decides to leave home and find a job. She's a kind girl that grew up in the ghettos. While everyone else was unhappy, her family was very close and hopeful. She was well known as many people enjoyed talking to her (this is important).

She eventually finds a job in an orphanage. The owner and main caretaker is an unassuming guy that doesn't stand out much. He's very kind, albeit gets pushed around by the children a lot. She gets hired surprisingly easy, as the owner barely conducted an interview?

Regardless, throughout her stay there, she realizes the orphanage is a strange place. The owner's style of raising the children is weird. He lets them roam free and even sometimes encourages them to get up in all sorts of random stuff. However, in getting into all types of mishaps trying to rein the children in, she realizes that each child is extraordinary in their own way, as if each experience is unlocking something new within them.

The more she stays there also, the more she learns about the owner. While he may seem unassuming, his friends are anything but. He's been visited by a king, the head of the mage's tower, a famed alchemist, the most exclusive fashion designer in the kingdom, etc. The orphanage is also very.... equipped. Protection spells, books lying around on any and every topic, escape passages, etc.

Turns out the legend in the beginning is true. Every child born truly is given a gift. The owner's is the ability to see which one is given to an individual. All the people that came to visit him are the friends he grew up with and nudged into their prospective life paths. He does the same with the orphans that come to his orphanage.

As for the main character's? Eventually it is revealed that her ability is purification. In the world, "evil" can manifest through "filth." Filth is an invisible substance that attaches itself to a person and weighs them down. It dredges up negative emotions, bad memories, terrible dreams, etc. In the same way that a bad mood is contagious, filth can be shared and amplified through interactions with other people.

The main character spent much of her childhood sickly. This is because she grew up subconsciously absorbing the filth brought in by her family everyday. However, this is what made her family so loving. As for why the rest of the people in her town loved her? It's because, through talking to her, they were able to relieve themselves from some of the filth weighing them down, which made them feel better.

The owner decided to hire the main character because orphans naturally carry and generate more filth. He wanted her to have a positive impact on their lives so they can grow up happy.

But that's all I have right now. I need an overarching plot, conflict, enemy, etc. I do have an idea that the owner is actually quite contaminated by the filth but does his best to hide it. But I need to play with that idea more.

[juminies]

I can't stop thinking about the concept of Jumin with a goth mc. Especially if they're into the occult and dark magic like he is. Its so cute I think I'm gonna go insane.

Jumin doesn't go into any sort of relationship – business, platonic, romantic – expecting people to understand him nor his hobbies. Having any sort of company who merely acknowledge his interests as worth something is enough for him, and even if they don't he's not particularly one to mind. But who is any MC to be someone who conforms to anyone's expectations?

They'd actively surprised Jumin from the start. They'd captured his heart when he didn't think it was possible, been relentlessly kind to him and, admittedly, taken him rather off guard when they showed up to the penthouse dressed so unconventionally.

They'd already mentally prepared themselves on the way over for the typical questions and jabs, just in case. But Jumin isn't the typical man. It's not as though he dresses to the standard in his day-to-day life, either. He's been called overdressed more times than he cares to count. So instead, they're met with compliments. It's wonderful to him. Fascinating.

Of course, after some conversation about the fashion, Jumin brings up vampires. It's something they've heard a million times, usually a weak attempt at poking fun at their style. There it is they think. But no, it's different.

"Do you believe in them?" Jumin asks.

"Who's to say I'm not one?"

Jumin leans in, eyes wide. "Are you? If so, please trust that your secret is safe with me."

They laugh. "No. I wish."

Jumin, then, absolutely starts some passionate spiel about vampires. They're the first person to listen so intently. The first person to not just be genuinely interested, but to actually join in. The natural course of the conversation leads onto dark magic and occultism. Jumin is thrilled, and while he's away at work he makes sure they know they have free rein over his book collection.

As the relationship develops his collection becomes theirs, and vice versa. He's enthralled every time they bring home mysterious trinkets that are hopefully only a little bit cursed.

[he-is-so-stupid]

howdy fellow otome gamers. I play way too many of these games and I need to get things off my chest. feel free to ask me anything, gush about games you know I've played, gush about games you want me to try, ask my opinion about games you haven't tried yet, et cetera.

Games I've Completed

storm lover, sweet fuse, amnesia, hakuoki (kw + eb), code: realize, collar x malice, psychedelica of the black butterfly, psychedelica of the ashen hawk, 7'scarlet, norn9, london detective mysteria, bad apple wars, cupid parasite, variable barricade, olympia soiree, piofiore, cafe enchante, even if tempest, princess nightmare, taisho x alice, nightshade, bustafellows, nameless, yojinbo, dandelion, tmgs 1-3, mystic messenger, cinderella phenomenon, lover pretend, starry sky in spring, arcana famiglia ancora, arcana famiglia fandisk*, charade maniacs, code : realize~ future blessings*, birushana, nekopara catboys paradise, jack jeanne, code:realize~ wintertide miracles*$

*=fandisks, $=unfinished

Games in My Backlog

ephemeral, anniversary no kuni no alice, starry sky after spring*, ayakashi gohan, dot kareshi 1-3, fashioning little miss lonesome, re: birthday song, ozmafia, palais de reine, the second reproduction, bakumatsu renka shinsengumi, my vow to my liege, backstage pass, taisho x alice heads & tails*, brother's conflict, period cube, hakuoki sweet school life, collar x malice -unlimited-*$, piofiore: episodio 1926*, dairoku: agents of sakuratani, steam prison, amnesia: later x crowd*, butterfly's poison: blood chains, the crimson flower that divides, winter's wish spirits of edo, paradigm paradox, arcana famiglia 2*, radiant tale, norn9 last era*, shuuen no virche

Platforms I Play

Switch, PS Vita, 3DS, PC. (I have a phone but I don't play many mobage.)

My Top Favorite Games

Bustafellows, Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly, Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk, 7'scarlet, Taisho x Alice, Sweet Fuse, and Charade Maniacs. I have a big love for games with deep mysteries that get unraveled through the course of the story.

My Favorite LIs

Impey (Code:Realize), Mineo (Collar x Malice), Alice (Taisho x Alice), Chigasaki and Dazai (Charade Maniacs), Levi (PotAH), Yamato (PotBB), Yamazaki and Shinpachi (Hakuoki), Suzu (Jack Jeanne), Heishi (Norn9), Watson (London Detective Mysteria), Higa (Bad Apple Wars), Peter Flage (Cupid Parasite), Gilbert (Piofiore), Limbo (Bustafellows), and Liberta (Arcana Famiglia). I have a bias towards dumb boys, basically.

[wastingmylifesecondatatime]

Avengers Masterlist - One Shots/Drabbles

Updated: 30.07.2024

🔞 = mature

Other masterlists: mother masterlist, Bucky Barnes masterlist

Avengers

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

“I can go anywhere I want, just not home.” by @milf-cinematic-universe​

↳ “ You are a product of a HYDRA experiment. Years after being held captive by them, you are saved by SHIELD. You join the Avengers in hope of finding a family in them, but what are you supposed to do when they don’t treat you the way you expected them to?”

Maria Hill

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

Miscommunications by @lazydoodlesandfanfic​​​​​​​

↳ “ Maria Hill x reader where R has been sent on a several year long mission to infiltrate HYDRA. the avengers find her during a mission and end up bring her in (not knowing who she is). On the flight back they all question why she’s so quiet and smiling. When they reach SHIELD they inform Maria and Fury of her presence in a cell (?) they all go to see the interrogation and find Maria and R kissing and holding each other and Fury just turns around to them and says “oh yeah they’re married” “

Natasha Romanoff

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

Late-Night Revelations by @goldenempyrean​​​​​​​

↳ “  Night is usually the time when you had free rein of the compound - little did you expect to be interrupted on your journey to get midnight snacks and certainly not by her. “

Zoom meetings by @wandaromanova​​​​​​​

↳ “ reader is doing an online class and nat wakes up and casually kisses reader’s cheek and everyone who saw it is freaking out because the black widow has a gf “

Sam Wilson

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

Steve Rogers

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

No Title 1 by @professorrw​​​​​​

↳ “steve x reader one shot where the reader is heavily pregnant and her and Steve get on the subway and he's so confused as to why nobody is giving her a seat because he's so old fashioned?“

No Title 2 by @fluffymcu​​ (added: 06.06.2024)

↳ “ So platonic Steve x reader, where she has a sticker or something stuck to the side of her shirt, and when Steve starts trying to get it off, she squirms and he notices. Then he can tell that she's trying so hard to hide the fact that she is super ticklish and he exposes her and thinks it's so cute! “

Bruce Banner

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

The Lab Assistant by @thatfanficstuff​ (added: 06.06.2024)​ ​​​​​​​

↳ “ You had worked for SHIELD for years. You'd started the day after you graduated from college with your doctorate at 17. You weren't a field agent. In fact you were pretty sure you would injure yourself if you tried to fire a gun. You were however a brilliant scientist. Your time was spent in a lab surrounded by calculations and beakers. “

Loki

NEW ADDITIONS:

Best Friends fur-ever by @lucywrites02​​​ (added: 30.07.2024)

↳ “Loki brings home a tiny cat who quickly steals both of your hearts.“

Strawberry Cake by @loki-hargreeves​​ (added: 06.06.2024)

↳ “Loki takes a break from his Avenger case to help you bake a cake a cake, which leads to some interesting late night talks.“

The Shape of You by @kaz11283​ (added: 06.06.2024)

↳ “While at one of Tonys top end parties the god of mischief asks you to dance to your surprise.  You didn't think he was the type to dance much less to the song that he decided to ask you to dance to.“

Tony Stark

NEW ADDITIONS:

🔞 Sparks of Electricity by @cevans-is-classic​​ (added: 30.07.2024)

↳ “Three years ago Tony meet a young woman whilst drunkenly meandering through the park i.e. he tripped and reached out grabbing her bag scaring her enough to make her panicked and tase him.

Hell of a way to meet the love of your life right?“

Stucky

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

Epiphany by @the-bau-quinjet​​​​

↳ “ Fury sends you back in time on a mission. How will you handle seeing Steve and Bucky in the 40s? “

Wandanat

NEW ADDITIONS:

Nothing today...

No Title 1 by @missmonsters2​​​​​​​

[putschki1969]

Hi Sarah

How are you?

After watching numerous live performances in Japan and outside of Japan, I have come to the realization that the Spacecraft worked hardly to ensure the success and fame of Kalafina. However, I have come to believe that the type of music performed by Kalafina may not appeal to everyone or align with the preferences of the Japanese people. As a result, my sentiments have shifted, and I now feel sense of respect and gratitude towards Spacecraft and their work over the 10 years. I believe that if they weren't good, Yuki Kajiura-san would not have remained with them for such a significant duration. It's important to note that these thoughts are solely based on my personal feelings and not backed by any research.

Hello there!

So sorry, it took a while to get to this message, I have been very busy lately.

I am good, thank you for asking😊 Hope you are doing well too!

Everyone who has been following my blog for a few years will know that I am probably one of Space Craft's biggest advocates. I've certainly had my complaints about them and I am by no means saying that they are without fault or the best agency out there but in the grand scheme of things, they have always done a decently good job at representing Yuki Kajiura, Kalafina and now Wakana. There have really been no public scandals that would warrant us deeming them a "horrible" or "bad" company. Once in a while, there are whispers of outlandish rumours but nothing so far has been substantial or even remotely incriminating.

Have they made stupid decisions? No doubt. Have they made big mistakes? Absolutely! Could they have handled the disbandment better? For sure! Would any Japanese talent agency have done a better job? No!

And that's the point. People need to realise that all Japanese talent agencies are cut from the same cloth. None of them are particularly great. Most are actually awful. A majority of them are run by middle-aged dudes who have been in the industry for way too long. Lots of fragile sensibilities and old-fashioned mindsets. Just look at the trajectory of Hikaru's solo career so far. It's a whole mess. But as long as you don't hear stories of exploitation or sexual harassment, I would say it's a win.

As you have surmised, there is no way that someone as strong-minded and assertive as Yuki Kajiura would have ever remained with them for such a long time if they were as horrible as many fans make them out to be. Wakana also wouldn't have chosen to stay with them if they didn't have some redeeming qualities.

And I will never get tired of emphasising the crucial role that Space Craft played in Kalafina's popularity. Say what you will but Space Craft built the "Kalafina" brand as we know it. It's correct that Kalafina's type of music isn't exactly mainstream so if it hadn't been for Space Craft's persistent marketing to push them in a more "mainstream" direction, Kalafina would not have been able to attract such a wide audience. The tons of merchandise, the frequent releases, the constant touring, the regular event appearances, the more elaborate stage productions, all of this helped catapult Kalafina to a Budokan level and beyond. They never took a full dive into the idol world but they certainly borrowed some methods. However, throughout all of this, Kalafina's core "image" remained intact, they allowed Yuki Kajiura free rein in terms of music and until the very end, the beautifully layered vocals were the main selling point for Kalafina. So yeah, even if it sounds weird to some people, at the end of the day I feel grateful to Space Craft.