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mclqren · 9 months ago

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BIRTHDAY WISHES ★ F1 GRID

PAIRING ✦ f1 grid x platonic fem!wolff!reader, max verstappen x fem!wolff!reader

SUMMARY ✦ it's your birthday, and some of the drivers of the f1 grid take to instagram to post you on the day. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ none, i think!

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ i didn't include all of the f1 drivers but i included as many as i felt were suitable! reader isn't susie's biological daughter, but they're still very close!! the fc i've used is blanca soler, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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yourusername finally 22, might get a tattoo idk💜

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user1 AHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N

user2 PEOPLE'S PRINCESSS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

susie_wolff happy birthday y/n!! love you ❤️

yourusername love you mama 💜

user3 THEY'RE SO CUTE WTH

user4 i literally can't wait to see all of the f1 drivers post her.

user5 NO FR so excited

sabrinacarpenter MY GIRL FOREVER HAPPY BIRTHDAYY 🥳💗

yourusername LOVE YOU SAB THANK YOU SM💜💜

user6 this friendshippp omg

lewishamilton HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO YOU Y/N love you lots kiddo ❤️

yourusername love you lewis!! 😘

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mercedesamgf1 It's a very very special day today...happy birthday Y/n! From all of the team at Mercedes ❤️

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user7 happy birthday y/n!!

user8 she is glowingggg

yourusername 💜💜

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user9 i just know toto went to admin and said 'WISH MY DAUGHTER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY'

user10 their father daughter dynamic is everything to me

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georgerussell63 throwback to 2022 where me and y/n went on a day trip around paris and she changed outfits THREE TIMES in accordance with where we were. anyways happy birthday y/n have the best day!! 🥳

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yourusername CALLING ME OUT IN THE CAPTION HELLOOO?

yourusername I SWEAR IT WAS IMPORTANT I HAD TO CHANGE

georgerussell63 WHAT WERE THE REASONS.

yourusername 1) we had gone into that dusty vent thingy and i had to change my top 2) someone (naming no names) spilt WATER DOWN MY NEW TOP so i had to change 3) we were going out at night i was not about to wear that green shirt.

yourusername *y/n and i, not me and y/n

alex_albon oh dear the grammar police is back

yourusername year older but still not shedding the role 🤷‍♀️

yourusername thank you curious george very much appreciated 😘

landonorris how many nicknames do you have for him??

yourusername g-man, curious george, georgie porgie

georgrussell63 you can tell she truly values our friendship!

user11 i actually haven't stopped laughing why are they so siblings

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landonorris happy birthday to the girl who introduced herself to me by spilling her pepsi max over my fire suit. never change y/n 🔥

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yourusername AW LANDOOO THAT'S KINDA SWEET

georgerussell63 and mine wasn't??

yourusername lando's my fav 🤷‍♀️

charles_lerclerc @/landonorris thoughts on this??

landonorris y/n is a woman with taste what can i say?

yourusername wait when did you take the first pic...

landonorris at that bar in london

yourusername LOVE YOU NORRIS 😍

landonorris LOVE YOU WOLFF 😁

georgerussell63 the bias is actually crazy i'm in tears right now

yourusername awww georgie i love you too!! 💜

maxverstappen1 no one can separate y/n from her popcorn

yourusername he speaks the truth 🤷‍♀️

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alex_albon happiest of birthdays to the best third wheel money can buy ( please let me out of your basement 🙏 )

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alex_albon ALL JOKES ASIDE love you y/n have the best day!! 😁❤️

yourusername AW ALBONOOOO

yourusername you and lily are my parents😘

lilymhe i prefer you to alex ❤️

alex_albon HUH??

yourusername i will always take my mother's side 💜

yourusername best third wheel money can buy is CRAZYYY YOU KNOW FULL WELL.

alex_albon well you did third wheel at one point, not now you're with him 🤷‍♀️

user12 WITH HIM? MY WIFE IS TAKEN?

user13 NOT ALEX BEING CRYPTIC W IT.

logansargeant the american flag in the last pic RAH 🦅

yourusername relax logan babe it's a brandy melville sweater 💜

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carmenmmundt MY Y/NNNN!! meeting you in the mercedes paddock back in 2022 was truly the best thing that could've ever happened because now you're stuck with me!! my little sister forever, hope you have the best birthday ever ❤️❤️

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yourusername CARMMM IM CRYING WTH

yourusername MY SISTERRR I LOVE YOUUU

carmenmmundt I LOVE YOU MORE ❤️

user14 the way they get on so well acc warms my hearttt

yourusername you're the only reason i can tolerate george 😊

georgerussell63 i beg your pardon??

yourusername oh dear the british dialect came out

charles_leclerc understandable 🤷‍♂️

georgerussell63 NOT YOU TOO??

user15 y/n honorary wag confirmed

alex_albon or real wag 🤷‍♂️

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user16 SO NO ONE SAW ALEX'S COMMENT?? WAG ALERT HELLO??

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alexandrasaintmleux the only girl i trust to go to galleries with me ❤️ happy birthday y/n love you sm!

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yourusername ALEXXXX I LOVE YOU SM

yourusername MY ANGELLL

alexandrasaintmleux ❤️❤️

yourusername forget charles run away w me 🙏

alexandrasaintmleux @/charles_leclerc sorry baby i'm leaving you for y/n!!

charles_leclerc how have i been replaced...

yourusername with ease 😘

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charles_leclerc she might prefer my girlfriend to me, but she will forever be my baby sister 😘 happy birthday y/n!!

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yourusername MI HERMANOOOO!!

charles_leclerc that's not french??

yourusername i know carlos was teaching me spanish so have that instead

carlossainz55 viva la españaaa! 🇪🇸

yourusername i definitely do prefer alex but this post is very much appreciated!!

charles_leclerc why must you replace me.

user16 WHO DOESNT PREFER ALEX?? SHES STUNNING

yourusername LOVE YOU ECLAIR

user17 HELPP SHES A REAL ONE

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lance_stroll "if you post any ugly pictures of me lance i'll kill you" - y/n today when i wished her a happy birthday. have a good day loser 👌

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yourusername WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME OUT AS WELLL IT'S MEANT TO BE MY SPECIAL DAY

georgerussell63 y/n when something doesn't go her way:

yourusername GO AWAY PISS FACE ☹️

yourusername my favorite canadian 😊

yourusername also the only canadian i know but wtv

lance_stroll i appreciate the sentiment y/n??

yourusername THANKS LANCELOT LOVE YOU BBG

lance_stroll maybe it's time to retire the nickname now??

yourusername noooo i don't want to! and it's my birthday sooo :)

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oscarpiastri happy birthday y/n!! have the best day ❤️ ( last slide is from when you took my phone and sent lando pictures of yourself saying you were under his bed. good times as always )

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yourusername OSCAHHH THE FIRST NICE-ISH CAPTION!!

charles_leclerc mine was nice as well???

yourusername yes but oscar's just nicer in general so it sort of evens itself out

user18 HELPP

yourusername i KNOW lando appreciated the pics of my flared nostrils😘😘

landonorris yes thanks y/n ❤️

alex_albon bet your boyfriend didn't appreciate that one 🤷‍♂️

yourusername DO YOU EVER SHUT UP ALBON. and for ur information i forwarded them to him as well so.

user19 okay but WHOOO IS THIS BOYFRIEND WHEN'S THE REVEAL

user20 NO REAL IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

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carlossainz55 y/n in her natural habitat: on a farm 👩‍🌾 happy birthday mi hermana!! ❤️

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yourusername VIVA LA ESPAÑAAAAA

carlossainz55 SIII SIEMPRE

yourusername THANK YOU CARLOSSS 💜💜

carlossainz55 ❤️

georgerussell63 she's one with nature ❤️

landonorris HAHA

yourusername I KNOWWW YOU ARE BOTH NOT TALKING WHEN I HAVE KILLED SPIDERS FOR BOTH OF YOU.

user21 THE RECEIPTS

maxverstappen1 picture credits for half of these??

carlossainz55 i took the first one though?

maxverstappen1 but i took the others??

yourusername guys stop fighting this isn't you ☹️☹️☹️

maxverstappen1 yeah yeah whatever

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maxverstappen1 forever thankful for the day you accidentally ran into the red bull paddock and i fell head over heels in love 🙏 happy birthday to the girl who makes it all worth it, love you always ❤️

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user22 THE HARD LAUNCH????

user23 WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSS

user24 SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

user25 MERCEDES GIRL X RED BULL GUY

yourusername MAXIE AW

user26 MAXIE MY HEARTTT

yourusername LOVE YOU FOREVER 💜💜

alex_albon ew get a room

yourusername as third wheel of you and lily for basically the past two years, LET ME HAVE THIS ONE.

landonorris so like is it just me who's single now??...

yourusername keep enjoying the bachelor lifestyle norris 💜

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yourusername thank you all so much for the birthday wishes!! decided to get me a tattoo, and woke up to my boyfriend hard launching us on social media! love you max, but please stop winning races so my dad doesn't get angry 💜

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maxverstappen1 unfortunately, i have to keep winning the races to win your respect. thanks for the request, though! 🙏

yourusername papa wolff will NOT be happy.

maxverstappen1 ❤️❤️

user27 THE LITTLE WOMEN TATTOO??

user28 I HAD NO IDEA SHE WATCHED LITTLE WOMEN

user29 she mentioned on live once that it's her favorite movie!!

mercedesamgf1 If he hurts you Y/n, we'll be at his door 🦅

yourusername you'll be the first ones i contact x

user30 Y/N DEFENCE LEAGUE HAS ARRIVED

georgerussell63 *get a tattoo, not get me a tattoo

landonorris shhh let her have this one it's her birthday weekend

yourusername damn right it is mr russell remember ur place here. which of the two of us is the boss' daughter??

georgerussell63 🤐🤐

yourusername exactly what i thought!

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#f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 smau #f1 x you #smau #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 social media au #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x y/n #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #f1 x female reader #mclqren

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creampied-69-hotwife · 7 months ago

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Not at all I love the sight and sounds of her getting the shit fucked out of her so hard and deep that she's cumming all over her Bull's big hard throbbing cock.. Ribbed with thick veins pumping blood so powerfully she can feel his pulsing cock thrust ballsdeep so hard he's got her so much more full of cock than ever before that she's literally cumming so much she's squirting everywhere and begging him to pump her full like some cum hungry slut I've never seen before...

Mmm hmm ballsdeep breed my married pussy a cuckold's give forced feeding of sloppy creampied hotwife pussies grinding down hard squeezing cum out as he tongue fucks me deeply... Mmm hmm aaand tongue the shit out of my tight little ass while you're at it baby she demands wickedly.. He's almost rock fucking hard again and just whispered in my ear that he's about to destroy your wife's gorgeous little butt hole whether you like it or not and that I'll love it before he's finished even if I'm begging that he stop at first because he isn't able to fit in there..!!! Mmmmm I can't even try to say no to him even though I don't know how his cock will fit.. He says he owns my holes and he'll use them how he likes even if that means raping them while I cry no please no..

Hubby promised me your holes slut and you will give them all too me before I leave.. Aaand you'll learn to love it too trust me you'll see next weekend my buddies are cumming to join me and we're going to pop your Dp cherry while we leave hubby tied up in the basement and properly give his sweet little wife a gangraping gangbang party all night long.. Bathed in the warmth of a rising sun she'll be before we're done passing her from cocks to cocks..

Cumming so much even the neighbour's going to end up ballsdeep in her after cumming knocking at the door to make sure nothing was wrong hearing her screams as he watered his back lawn... Omg please don't say anything to my wife he asks sheepishly with the biggest bulging dick in his pants she'll kill me if she finds out about this.. Well you better fuck me properly then now hadn't you or maybe I will just invite her round for coffee and creampie while our husbands are both at work.. I'll even help her get over your bad behaviour by letting her take my Bull's big thick cocks cum load pumped ballsdeep before eating her sloppy creampied pussy out while the his buddy pounds me from behind.. Burying my face deeper and deeper in her pussy with every powerful thrust as she looks into his eyes while he is cumming in my pussy.. Her cum fuck me eyes totally wanting him to be filling her instead not a question about it I hear him say after pulling out of my sloppy wet pussy.. You cum here and suck this cock hard again and beg me to destroy that hot little ass you're husband has never been allowed to fuck the whole time you've been married.. Mmm hmm you know you want me too you're eyes said it all just now.. It's ok to be a total cumslut he'll never even find out unless you'd like him to know of course lol.. Omfg I'm sooooo fucking horny I'm crawling over to suck that big dick after asking if we can film it and send to him at work.. Hmm I'll be the one cumming to borrow the sugar from next door for now on buddy you've been caught out and lucky for you her Bull's been so kind he's helping me understand it from your perspective how could you of said no and it wasn't your fault.. I was very angry butt now I'm ok with it I think babe.. And by the time you get home tonight and finish cooking dinner I think you'll owe our new buddy here a big thank you indeed.. Not only will he have saved your ass from a divorce but he's even agreed to cum fix all those things around the house for me I've been asking you to fix for years.. Free and all nothing to pay either except of course a few cold beers for a hard earned thirst throughout the day I promised him was our shout and the least we can do... Mmm hmm naturally though I've promised him a warm creamy delicious serving of my dripping wet pussy pie after watching him working up a hot sticky sweat all day..

Bending over in front of him with no panties on and the tiniest of slutty skirts making you so angry he cums in to ask what's going on and even tells you to go take a break even lol.. Go out for a few beers down the local I'm finishing up here shortly too I'll meet you down there after taking a shower and fresh set of clothes yeah.. Let's go he says leading you out I'll drop you down there on my way home and great a cab back in half an hour bro.. Intimidated he hubby can't say no and winking at his horny Cumslut of a Milf Hotwife as he's kissed her goodbye seals the deal...

Oooh you boys have a great night I'm going to go shopping with my girlfriend and maybe even finish up down there for a few drinks ourselves later on as well.. Dropping her husband off at the furtherest away pub I can find after pretending to live around the corner before opening his wife's msgs of her waiting ass up on all fours spread open invitingly.. the open front door letting the whole street see her pussy on full display from the street.. Mmm cum fuck me hard and deep right there in the open doorway I want the neighbours to all see what a horny Cumslut you've made of me this afternoon using those tools to fix my things... Now cum fix the hungry pussy that's dripping on the front porch for your biggest tool to be put to work.. Jack hammering my holes on the front porch bent over the outdoor setting in full open view of everyone to cum see.. Then drag me into your truck and take me round to see the rest of your mates at the actual pub you live around the corner from and you can all get me drunk before I'm bent over the pool tables and you all running a train on me including the barman who's just closed the pub early and locked the front doors and the first to cum fuck me anywhere he wants to in his pub...

Dm me your throbbing dick pics and tribute cum loads to this photo while telling me where you'd fuck be if you were that lucky barman who's filing me up first before a long night being filled with so many more in every hole that I've got in me... 😈🥵🍆💦💦🍑🥵😈

#creamedwife #married #cheating wife #submission #h0twife #cleanherup #wife fantasy #CręamedPussy #FilledŮp #PümpHerFüll #wife

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rottingfern · 7 months ago

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OMG EVIL FOLIO… please don’t stop…

For you and for the Stockholm Syndrome anon. pt. 1 here Okay yes because Evil Folio's basement apartment really was meant to be an apartment at first. When he bought the house, it was unfinished - just a whole floor of bare concrete, dust, and rubble - with a sad looking laundry space in the corner. He wouldn't even want to use it for storage in the state it was in, but it was affordable and the rest of the house suited him well enough, and he does love himself a home improvement project to work on when he's off tour.

But then he meets you.

He surprises himself when the first thought of it creeps into his mind. He'd always thought himself a pretty traditional guy in terms of sex and dating: meet pretty girl, court her like a 50s romance with flowers and dates and kindness, fall in love, live out a normal and comfortingly boring relationship. He'd never felt the urge to perform funny stuff in the bedroom, was a staunch advocate for mutual respect at every step of the relationship. But he can sense you're not fully on board with his advances, can feel the metaphorical feet kicking at his chest when his gestures toe the wrong line of friendship, can basically see a thought bubble thinking friend zone above your head; he knows he can never have you, and it breaks him just a bit, because you're what he sees when he pictures the perfect girl to spend the rest of his life with.

And then he takes you down there to show off the finished space, ready to be decorated, and sees you stood there all pretty in his house with only the door at his back to escape. He breaks.

You're unable to accept what Folio's done at first. It's just a prank, maybe something the two of you had joked about the night before. Any recollection of last night is in the wind - along with any context to what this means - with the wax you'd smoked. You always have been a bit of a lightweight with weed, and Folio has always been a stoner. When he comes downstairs a few minutes later, or maybe a few hours - you can't tell the time of day with those damn artificial sunlight panels you'd helped choose - and makes no move to assist.

It's not funny anymore, you try to tell him. He doesn't laugh. He only smiles a smile that twists his face something inhuman, shards of glass glinting in his eyes as he cocks his head, examining you, predator to prey. He does not speak.

The velocity with which you jolt between anger and bargaining gives you whiplash. You can't believe he's done this. It's been days and all he does is silently bring you food. When he looks at you, it's like he's looking through you, or perhaps at you but not at you; it's like he doesn't see you as human. You trusted him! when you trust hardly anyone. He was your best friend! He knew you were taking time off for yourself, that nobody would be searching for you - he planned this! All this time you were sleepwalking in sacrifice of your safety. But then the door rattles and his steps bound down the stairs and you drop to your knees, begging, pleading for release.

What do you want? I'll do anything, I'll stay in the house, just take this chain off! you plead.

He smiles that toothless, insensate smile again. It's so warm in the face of loneliness. I know you better than that. It's the only words he's spoken in a week.

He comes twice a day. You've learned to count that, now.

You contemplate breaking your ankle to free yourself of the cuff, and as much as you try, you only succeed in spraining it. You're craven to hurt yourself too much, even in crisis, even if it would save you.

It is a bleak resignation. What follows is perhaps worse. Or better. You can't decide; decisions take mental space that is currently preoccupied with how to live less.

If your best friend sees no more worth in you than to keep you chained like an animal, perhaps you are one. Perhaps if he's keeping you hidden from the world, then maybe you aren't deserving of the sunlight, aren't deserving of the freedom if he thinks you're only wasting it. You hadn't missed how he used to look at you like you're some prism reflected off a diamond in sunset. If, despite having the highest regard for you of anyone in your life, he thinks you're only worthy of imprisonment, then perhaps he's right. Perhaps you won't be missed.

It's all you think about for weeks, counting the faintly visible brush strokes on the wall across from you. Painting high together really was a bad decision - the wall needs to be repainted.

You don't cry for weeks, until you do: uncontrollable, hysterically heaving sobs that choke you with the effort before they can even be released.

The pressure in your ears must've distracted you because he's suddenly there, standing helplessly with a box of tissues. The couch dips beside you and through the glaze of salt-irritated eyes, you catch his arms outstretched towards you. You fall into his lap; he always was hesitant to touch first.

He wipes the snot from your face as you lie there, fingers brushing through your hair and smoothing it down, just like he always has done. Just like your Folio always did.

#nick folio fic #fern blurbs

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tgckceo · 21 days ago

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MORE SPOILERS AND MORE TALKING!!!!!!

Memories with Marcus oh I’m sick I hate him

I don’t want to think about Marcus. He makes my skin crawl I’m serious rn I have goosebumps

Downn downn down

Are we a dreamwalker or sometjing how are we going super super deep in our memories.

Redacted lore save me from the confusion

Why is the outfit so important

We aren’t in a lab ?

Light

Little windows ??? High on a wall??? Like in a fucking basement

ARE WE SERIOUSLY EXPERIENCING SUNSHINE TREATMENT IN THE MEMORIES

Hey haha wdym a chair. Wdym

Why were we in a chair

So we were fucking kidnapped

“How cold is it” if you don’t need a number the only answer I can give is “cold” 😭

Man I’m nervous too idk what’s happening

Omg yay remembering. Sigh

If he keeps talking like this I’ll fall asleep and miss everything. Erik Redacted you are too good

Down.. down.. downward

He looks different ???

Marcus (¬_¬)

Down down down

RINGING EARS

what the fuckWHAT

WHAT IS GOING ON HOLY SHIT

The. FLASHBACKS

I have goosebumps

No more tears? You’re safe now?

EHAT THE FUCK

WUIN ?? QUINN?????

Songs?? Is it a test for Asset

Dreams can be incredibly powerful when they’re used right ?

I HOPE IT’LL BE OKAY ???

A skeleton key????/$)2$/:

I WISH IT WAS SOMETHING WE CAN CONTROL ?? HELP ??

What state of matter is love &/@2)3& LEAVE ME ALONE

Holy shit Asset person idk who u are what is happening to you

Is that Marcus

“Excited to start” ASSET RUN AWAY PLEASE

Man I’m tweaking oh my god

James SOS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so afraid rn

I’m not over Quinn cameo like I’m so afraid genuinely

Did the real “Asset” encounter Quinn? And the dream buried it in their memories

YOU’RE SAFE NOW? BOTH OF YOU? Anton help what is happening

help HLP

Anton groaning

Okay wait anyway

What isn’t my fault

OH? I GOT ATTACKED

Was the listener attacked by Quinn

Turned by old blood. This is fucking Quinn

The listener was attacked by Quinn

THAT SHIFTER

Oh. no Darlin mention. Kicks a rock

ANTON OVERPOWERED HIM? HOW FUCKING BIG IS ANTON

MUSCLES

THE FOOLIVERSE DIDNT LIE ??

THE FOOLIVERSE WAS SPOILING IT FOR US AND WE HAD NO IDEA

Ooh listener had (has?) a sister

Skeleton key. What. OH EHAT

reminds me I’m in a dream???

DREAMWALKER ? Hold awn

Is that Elliot or is that Marcus I CANT FUCKING TELL

Probably not Elliot because of the symbol but does that mean Marcus is a dreamwalker ?

NEW LATENT LISTENER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dreamwalker Latent Listener. I’ve been fed

Or I misunderstood that they’re a dreamwalker but I’m running with it

Listener with confirmed family!!! I’m so happy with listener lore

Marcus please go away I’m trying to enjoy life

I have had goosebumps this whole video

Sci-fi interests? That is so cute

So our dream was being a robot / android ? And that is how the Project Meridian thing unfolded

Is this lady the listener’s sister?

WHAT THE FUCK

QUINN?

HILY SHITGUYS

HE FUCKING KILLED HER

“BECAUSE I CAN” ?&/):&:):

GOOD LITTLE BLOODBAG???

Wait I’m still processing

WOLF SNARLS

DARLIN??? OR ANTON???

WIAT ITS ANTON HOLY SHIT

Both of you???? Isn’t the sister dead

IS THE LISTENER WITH DARLIN? IS DARLIN HERE

HAS ANTON MET DARLIN

Give me a second WIAT hold on howhdol on

Quinn managed to break free. Sigh

I’m too confused right now when they mention “the two of you” are they talking about the listener and their sister or the listener and Darlin? Because I thought the sister was already dead but they mention saving two

“To you, to them” So he is mentioning Darlin. I’m so ????

He’s talking about Quinn being caught and rotting for what he’s done. Does this take place when Quinn is finally trapped and actually jailed… I’m definitely relistening later I’m so lost

Empowered family for the listener

So the listener reached out to the department about the attack and got a meeting with James.

wtf they feel guilty about not having powers to protect their sister and themselves. Kms

Freelancer core …

Marc(us) IS a dreamwalker

What the flip

This dream went on for so long “Asset” was “unstuck” and had to dig so far into their memories for this shit IM SICK

We have powers right now … yip!

OUR magic kept us in the dream?????

Holy shit we were making and keeping the dream and we didn’t even know

THATS WHAT THE PHONE RINGING WAS

IT WAS US/HIM CALLING

I’m ???

So everything ties back to Quinn

Is the listener Darlin’s (un)empowered friend or not. I think so

James saw himself and Anton in the dream world

This is so crazy

Since we went back back into the memories where we got attacked, and in the kind-of future we were in a chair in a basement, does this mean we were one of the victims that Quinn captured?? Especially since Quinn still had victims around when he was officially captured by the Department. Sorry I’m ranting and trying to make sense of it

This probably isn’t even as complicated as my brain is making it out to be

Don’t mind me

When I was yapping I sort of tuned out whatever he was saying oops

So the Project Meridian thing isn’t real. And the world we are about to return to is. Okay

That’s so insane. Like imagine waking up and so many memories start coming back to you that you get whiplash. Would that happen or would it be peacefully restored as you sleep

So “Asset” was made to “save the world” but James is here to save their life

The deltas can take us back????? Do it now then

I’m still so confused with the Quinn correlation. Who is the listener exactly and which victim are they. Are they someone Quinn captured when he was taken in? Are they Darlin’s friend? Or are they just a random victim of Quinn’s who was saved by Anton

Almost done. LET ME OU

Oh I’m afraid

THEY GOT IT RIGHT

FUCK YES

okay we lived we can go home now

AHO ARE YOU

who r you

Mark? Or Marc? Hello

Why did you evade safety guidelines man

I feel confused

Imagine the listener remembered jack shit and all that was for nothing

“What happens now” “to you? That’s not my call to make” Marcus flashbacks. Omg

Oh!

Out for quite a while?? I imagine it’s been weeks or months 😭

We lived so what now

He doesn’t like the version of himself the labyrinth created 😭

“You really are a special kind of person” Okay now let’s kiss

HOME YAYYY

Okay that was a rollercoaster. Enjoy my rants bye

#redacted asmr #redacted asset

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jihyoruri · 9 months ago

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it’s so bittersweet seeing everyone happy while us cib!yn stans are in the trenches fighting for our lives like where is my girl??????? where is her psychotic gf aka chaewon???????? free her from the basement please im begging

LOL OMG????

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dodger-sister · 1 year ago

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Sufficiently freaked out enough I turned on the alarm & locked the doors & put a chair under the door handle. Yesterday we rescued a cat that we had seen around the neighborhood the last week or so. She was on our porch staring in at Sis, so Sis went out & the cat jumped in her arms & started loving on Sis.

So we started our rescue routine: put her in basement guest room separate from our animals, posted on my FB & 2 local missing pet groups, called the shelter (waiting for call back) & intended to take her in to get scanned for a chip, if needed by tomorrow.

Today on 1 of the FB groups there was a comment “that’s my cat”. Something about it felt weird. When my dog went missing & ppl posted they saw him here or there, trying to help us catch him, I would reply “omg thank you, yes thats my dog!” Or whatevs. She just posts, “thats my cat.” So I went to her FB & it looked legit enough, just tons of other ppl’s missing animals & motorcycles. *But* there was no post about her missing a cat. Scrolled back 3 months, nothing. I was going to message her & ask for a photo of the cat, just to verify, since ppl do use cats as bait for dog fights around here. I understand when you are missing an animal, you can be beside yourself, so I shoulda messaged her immediately, but I was tending to things with my own pets & around the house & didnt respond immediately (ie within the hour). Thats on me.

But then I get a phone call, “you found a cat, thats our cat,” from some dude. I said “howd you get this number?” He says, “From the internet, you can search anybody nowadays.” GUYS, my FB profile name is my nickname, not my legal name! You cant search me & find me bc all searchable stuff is either from voter registration or state ID. How did he connect my nickname to my legal name? WTF. Then he says, “my gf is out looking for him - it’s a him - right now. I just gave her your address - *says my address* - that’s you, right?” Im shaking now. “How do you have my address? Someone is just coming to my house?!” I tell him I will NOT be answering the door until my sister is also here. He says, “she’s a 65 year old lady, its fine.” I said, “no, its not & my dog is super protective of me & he doesn’t let me open the door for strangers.” He says, “just bring the cat out to her then .” I stupidly, giving away that I’m disabled or whatevs, said, “cat is downstairs & I can’t do the stairs, you’ll have to wait until my sister comes home. Tell your gf to come back at 5.”

I ask if the number he has called from is his & he says yes & gives me his name. I say I’ll have my sister call to arrange a pick up. Im outside, so I go in, lock all the door, cant get the 1 door to lock properly so I put the chair there. I also turned on alarm & have my dog here, but Im freaked.

I inform Sis & she calls him. He tells her he got my number from 1 of those online Find A People sites. Thats a creepy thing to do. & then to just send someone to your house. What if a stranger just showed up at your front door asking about SM post you had made, without you having given out your info? How would you feel? Sis told him to send her a photo to prove is their cat. So then I go back to the missing animal site & there are a few more comments from the same lady, 1 saying his name is Cletus & the other saying, “We live on *street around the corner*. Please is a outdoor cat. Let him out & he will come back home”.

Ya’ll we live in the city limits! Yeah it’s only a 35k population but we have busy streets & a huge drug problem, have been labeled in the top 10 worst cities in our state, just a bad place to let your animals roam free if you want them to stay safe. Not to mention we aren’t far from the city edges, where we have coyotes. I know I had indoor/outdoor cats in my early 20s in town, but I was young & stupid & raised with barn cats so didn’t know any better. This lady is 65 years old! Yes I’m judging!

My friend is coming to stay this weekend & wanted to adopt the cat. If is theirs, obvs we hafta return it, but Id rather my friend adopt it. Rather my friend than ppl who let it roam in the city & then stalk you online & call you outta the blue & try to roll up on your house unannounced. Fuuuuuck. Also yeah he went missing, bc he begged us to let him in our house, we thought we were helping!

(Anyways, by the time I typed all this, it has been confirmed he is their cat, so we will return it to them later. In a public meet up spot.). But ya’ll, I’m wigging. WTF?

#my post #life #stalking #missing animals #pets #my life #rants #vents #emotions #stalkers #rescue animals #moostache #my rants #my vents #thoughts #my thoughts #cats #photos

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piastrinorris · 2 years ago

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I figured you'd be swimming in asks about this but FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-DORKS: might I please have a crumb of information about your Leonard fic? 🥺🖤

heheheh u can have SO MANY crumbs, as a treat <3

i call it the fix-it fic bc in it, leonard NEVER MEETS those goddamn sisters who start his downward spiral leading to his eventual death. leonard instead meets you, the reader, at the concert that happens in episode 1, he notices that you're about to walk home in the rain without so much as an umbrella and what sort of man would he be if he let that happen? so he walks you home and you get to talking about the concert and then about books n stuff and you're v apologetic for taking up leonard's time but he thanks you for being the most interesting person he's spoken to in weeks. he tells jacky he's late bc he made a friend at the concert who he walked home (no infidelity here, our len is a GOOD and HONEST MAN) and jacky's like "omg now you have someone to go with you to all those things you enjoy"

you're a teaching apprentice, tutoring an especially difficult child to educate to prove yourself as a class teacher someday. you live in the basement of [insert distant relative, i haven't decided yet] and tutor from there. you and len grow closer, both pining after each other but knowing that len gave up so much to be with jacky that he isn't gonna just toss that aside, even if it would make him happier.

at one point [something i haven't decided yet] happens that means len and jacky can't stay in their house. you ask your relative if you can offer them their spare room. upon meeting jacky you and your relative realise how unwell she is, so your relative gets a doctor out to see her, and the doctor also picks up on len's illnesses, and you spend your free time nursing them both. spending a few days with both basts p much 24hrs/day, it becomes increasingly obvious to jacky that len isn't actually happy with her.

and that's p much the whole entire story from start to end lol but there's other bits i'm excited to write about to expand on all their characters a lil bit more :)

#ridgespeak #fixit!leonard

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rottenbrainstuff · 11 months ago

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BG3 playthrough - Endless Act 3 quests

Spoilers below the cut!

OH MY GOD there’s too many things in Rivington…….. Luckily it seems most of these quests are small and self-contained so I can play by slowly advancing through areas and finishing whatever NPC thing is there before moving on?

Hey fellow dark urge players - have you ever noticed that if you look in the magic mirror, it resets your tav’s name back to The Dark Urge? And you will have to retype out the name you want? It does not do this for normal tavs. I wonder if this is just a bug. MORE interesting would be if they did it on purpose, and you are constantly having to reassert your new identity.

I was going through some old papers and letters and in a roundabout way realized there was a whole cutscene with Karlach that I missed back in Moonrise Towers. If you approach the bugbear trader with Karlach on your team, you will get a whole scene about an old friend of hers from Avernus. I love that there are little details like this in the game, and even though I am uncovering I think all or close to all of the little plot points, there will still be additional surprises like this if I replay with different teammates.

God, Rivington and especially Wyrm’s Crossing are so damned full of people. My computer is just lagging the fuck out. Not inspiring. I wish there was some way to optimize this better. Maybe reduce the rendering radius even more or something I dunno?

I found Arfur and his delightful little plot to blow up refugee children with toy bombs! What a delight that was. Too bad for this motherfucker, my brain-scrambled durge tav imprinted like a baby chick on the tiefling refugees during his first few days off the nautiloid, and this guy’s ass is now grass.

I’ve noticed that online guides seem to be incomplete (A SHOCK!) about how to resolve the situation with him, saying that you must either side with Arfur and the squatters leave, or else you side with the squatters which causes Arfur to go to Sharess’ Caress, and you can confront him there later about the plot. Me, I’m trying to take this enormous area in little pieces and I don’t really feel like opening up yet another new area yet - what if I want to deal with him right here and now?

There might be other dialogue branches to get to the same result, but here’s what I did: if you use detect thoughts during the confrontation, you can see Arfur is nervous about the squatters finding his basement. You can ask him about his basement, then ask him if you should go check it out. He will lose his patience and instruct his hired goons to attack. Once you kick their asses, (which btw you can safely do, as far as I can see, this fight does not aggro anyone else in the area) he stays in the area without running off, waiting for you to make a decision.You are then free to go and explore the basement and do the whole exploding toys quest. When Manip Nestor tells you to go find the one responsible for this, Arfur is still standing right there in front of his house, and you can finish the quest right here instead of going all the way to Sharess’ Caress. I’m assuming this conclusion is all exactly the same as if it was at Sharess’ Caress: you can agree to let him go, you can accept his bribe, or you can insist he’s going to be arrested. Then he walks away, presumably off to turn himself in at the jail like a good boy lmao, and the squatters thank you for allowing them to stay. Easy peasy and no need to go track Arfur down in some brand new area.

OMG Tara is so cute. If you approach her with Gale, she has a longer conversation with you. Is that the only time we see her?? Please say no! I love Tara so much!

Hey so I talked to the ironhand gnomes, went up through the ladder in their hideout, and discovered, surprisingly, that it leads to the smith’s rooms??? I wanted to ask him about it, why he has a secret hatch that leads to a domestic terrorist organization, but when I came through the hatch, I found he had been murdered by Orin!!! Is it possible to talk to him somehow that I missed?

Speaking of Orin - I know a lot of people are annoyed with her “ooooh it’s Orin, what an unexpected surprise!” schtick, but I actually do like the way she pops up. I like how you start speaking to an NPC and the conversation slowly starts to get more and more deranged. Before I realize it’s Orin, there is a second where it’s a genuine “what the hell is happening?” reaction. What I think the problem with Orin is, is that it happens too close together. Like, I spoke to the guard at the refugee camp, then extremely shortly after that, I spoke to the blacksmith and found her again. I am less annoyed with this concept, I think it’s cool, I kind of like the implication that Orin is out there gathering intel on you so you maybe need to watch what information you give out to random strangers, I just think the meetings needed to be a bit more spaced out, and it might avoid that annoyance that some players have with her.

I loved the courier’s zhentarim note that they hadn’t heard from the group in Waukeen’s Rest for a while. In my game, I killed all those guys when I found their hideout. I think it’s neat you have options to ally with them, but my tav personally has no use for a mafia that deals in slaves and tadpoles. If you didn’t kill the zhents in Waukeen’s Rest, does the letter still say they’ve lost contact, or does it change and say something else?

I’m finding an awful lot of murdered refugees all strewn about. I’m not exactly sure what’s happening here. I know Orin is being shitty, I know we have these doppleganger freaks, and I know there’s other stuff going on as well that I haven’t even explored yet, so who knows. I wish there was some kind of reaction line from tav or companions or something? Like. When we approached the blighted village, they commented on the dead villagers on the road. Here, I climbed down a well and found like four murdered refugees all in a pile, and there’s no comment??

I LOVED the weirdness of finding a child next to the southern checkpoint gate that was actually voiced by a real child, and not an adult VA. Very very jarring! As this is the only actual child voice in the entire game that I’ve seen so far, I assume this must be one of the dev’s kids that they put in to be cute, and I think that’s fun.

#bg3 #bg3 playthrough #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers

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sophierequests · 3 years ago

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Can you write a Kaz Brekker x m!reader (or female, whichever you prefer that's easier to write haha) where the reader and Kaz are stuck together in a room until the rest of the crows free them? They confess to each other that they're into each other but it isn't until the end that the reader realizes that they could've escaped a long time ago because Kaz could've just broken the locks.

the secrets that you keep

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

A/N: Omg, I loved writing this request so much. It was so fun to write. I (hopefully) didn't use any gendered pronouns for the reader, so that we all can enjoy it. If I dropped a she or a he for the reader, please let me know in the comments, and I'll fix it! I hope you like this, and thank you so much for requesting this. <3

Summary: Kaz and the reader are acting as a pretend couple to get into a vault at a party. After getting locked in said vault, things get awkward and confessions ensue.

Genre: Angst, Comfort, Fluff (as far as it's possible with Kaz)

Word Count: 2.7K (I had so many ideas to fit in, lawd have merthy)

Warnings: Slight description of claustrophobia, but nothing too intense

"Ugh, I can’t believe this man is being serious!” you complained, as you threw yourself on the leather sofa in defeat.

Jesper and Inej settled down in the space beside you, looking at you with a playful pity in their eyes.

“He can’t be serious. At this point, he’s doing it on purpose.” you groaned, running a hand through your hair.

The three of you just got out of a group meeting with Kaz about the upcoming heist tomorrow, and you were not having it. It was supposed to be a quite easy mission. There was a banquet at one of the mansions in the financial district. A mansion owned by one of Pekka’s most trusted business partners. Through a trusted source, Kaz got information about the collection of blueprints hidden in a vault located in the basement of the mansion. So, of course, he concocted a plan to get to them.

And that plan was going to be the death of you.

Inej and Jesper went in first, dressed up as guards, to check out the property without riling up any suspicion. Meanwhile, you and Kaz were supposed to be a pretend couple, blending in with the wealthy merchants, successively making your way to the vault and securing the blueprints.

This shouldn’t have been as big of a problem as it currently was. You were friends and colleagues, so an utterly normal spy mission was not supposed to be a bid deal. The fact that you had been crushing on Kaz since the day you met made things a bit more complicated.

“I think you’d make a great couple.” Jesper commented with a wink, earning a death stare from you.

“This has to be on purpose. Does he know about my crush on him? Oh, Saints, that would be so embarrassing.” you spiralled, “Do you think he would notice if I’d just disappear overnight? I don’t want to do this.”

“If you keep on talking that loudly, he’ll definitely know.” Inej laughed, twirling one of her daggers around in her hand.

“Not helpful.” you retorted.

“Why don’t you just tell him about it? It’s not going to get any better, the longer you try to hide it from him.” Jesper suggested.

“Have you lost your mind, Jes?” you blurted out, sitting up straight, in shock by this piece of advice, “What am I supposed to say? Hey Kaz, I’ve had a crush on you for years now and after every tiniest bit of attention you give me, I feel like exploding?”

The sharpshooter let out a snort, shaking his head incredulously.

“What do you have to lose?” he chuckled.

“My dignity, self-worth, will to live and, worst of all, my job maybe?”

“Y/N, it will be okay. Kaz knows what he’s doing. You won’t embarrass yourself.” Inej tried to reassure you, only mildly succeeding.

“And if you do, we’re there too. And I promise you that we’ll remind you of this day until you drop dead.” Jesper added. Definitely less supportingly.

The entirety of the next morning and noon was spent planning the rest of the heist together, going over details, smoothing out the barely existing plot holes.

Kaz took his role as a wealthy merchant pretty seriously. He wore a tailored elegant suit, completely in black of course. His hair was slicked back neatly, making him look way older than he actually was. After a closer look at him, you noticed that his cane was slightly altered, the crow’s head hidden from view in order to not draw too much attention to him.

You were dressed to match him, completely in black, wearing the finest looking clothes you owned.

“Alright. Does everybody know what they are supposed to do?” he asked sternly before the four of you reached the mansion.

Jesper and Inej nodded firmly, clutching the bags with their disguises still inside.

“If we should not be at the meeting point after the set time, you come and look for us. We might be in trouble.”

They nodded again, Kaz now focusing on you.

“Everything clear, Y/N?” he asked lowly, goosebumps crawling over your arms.

After giving him a brief nod, he closed his eyes in an attempt to prepare himself for the following hours.

“Alright then. No mourners.” he began.

“No funerals.” the three of you concluded.

With that, you split up, Kaz and you entering the estate carefully. The main hall was filled with massive groups of rich-looking people, dressed up in velvet suits and tight dresses.

Mentally, you went over your alibi again. Your name was Y/N Rietveld, the spouse of Kaz Rietveld, a rather unknown merchant with connections to the Ravkan court. You’ve been married for three years and met through your uncle, who owned one of the clubs in Ketterdam.

“Don’t overthink it. You’ll only sabotage yourself.” Kaz whispered when he noticed your cloudy expression.

“Okay.” was the only thing you could croak out, your anxiety settling slightly, knowing that Kaz was aware of it.

You hated to admit it, but you did enjoy the festivities. He had chatted up a few of the other guests, talking about the market, sea travel and other important-sounding topics, while you just smiled and nodded, occasionally being asked about your relationship with Kaz.

After almost an hour of conversation, he had decided that it was time to slip away from the crowd and finally go down to the basement.

Even with a bad leg, he was moving way quicker - and swifter - through the dark corridors, than you could imagine. You almost had to break out into a jog at certain times to keep up with him.

“Kaz, slow down, there’s nobody down here, and we’re not in a rush.” you hissed, getting more and more frustrated by his hasty manner.

“Not yet at least. I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible.” he muttered.

“Am I such bad company?” you asked playfully, a futile attempt to lighten his sudden sour mood.

Instead of a witty comeback, he just turned to look at you in confusion, contemplating what he had said previously.

“No, I-” he started, an almost unnoticeable blush flushing his cheeks, “That’s not what I meant. But it shouldn’t matter anyway.”

When you finally reached the heavy vault door, Kaz pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper from his breast pocket. With a few swift hand movements, he typed in the correct code, opening the sturdy door successfully. You had no idea where he had got the paper from, but you weren’t going to question it.

You stepped in after him, taking in the cramped room. It looked more like a storage unit than one of the high-security vaults of a manor. Shelves, clutter and boxes were sprawled around the entire room.

Kaz sighed. He had obviously not thought about this being an issue.

“Let’s get to work then.” he huffed, strategically scanning the possible whereabouts, with you following him like a lost puppy.

Surprisingly, you were faster than you thought. Or maybe the extreme stress of being alone in a room with Kaz Brekker just made you think harder. You found the six original blueprints in not even fifteen minutes, triumphantly presenting Kaz the last one.

Before he could give you any further instructions, a loud thud was heard and the dim overhead lightbulbs turned on.

“Shit.” you cursed, now getting slightly panicked, after seeing that you had been locked in the vault, with no possible way out in sight, “Shit, shit, shit! This can’t be happening.”

His expression did not help ease your stress. His brows were furrowed, and his eyes constantly flew from the now-closed door to your panic-stricken face.

“Y/N, calm down. We’re not in danger.” he tried to assure you, causing you to only stress more, sitting down against the cold steel of the door.

Much to your surprise, he also lowered himself down to sit on the floor opposite you, leaning against a wooden box. Even though he never really showed any sort of discomfort, or weakness as he called it, you could see that his bad leg was giving him trouble. A slight hint of pain in his expression as he massaged it.

You felt like sobbing, your whole body tensing, as the anxiety of being locked in a rather small space came buzzing through your head. Everything around you felt like it was closing in on you, the pressing silence not helping the nausea building up in your throat.

In comparison to you, Kaz only let out a stifled breath, scanning your features intently.

“Do you remember that one time, when we broke into Van Eck’s mansion?” he broke the silence, his voice calm and collected.

Seemingly, he found a certain humour in this situation, which you could not reciprocate.

“You need to be a bit more specific than that. We didn’t only break in once.” you answered, the conversation calming your heartbeat scarcely.

“The one last year. Where we tried to steal back Wylan’s book collection?” he offered the added information.

Realization set in and you remembered the mission clearly. Almost everything went surprisingly wrong, reminding you of your current debacle.

“The one where you were gone for over two hours because you got caught by guards? That was seriously scary, Kaz.” you began, reliving the fear you felt after Kaz didn’t show up at the meetup spot, “I was really worried about you not being there on time.”

You felt a sudden pang of embarrassment, the last sentence was true, but Kaz was not supposed to know that. He never openly showed any sort of concern or affection for anyone, and he didn’t really do well when receiving any himself. As far as you could imagine, he might not even feel any sort of these emotions towards anyone, even though this thought pained you, implying that he’d never be able to return your feelings.

Kaz cocked his head, staring daggers at you. He didn’t seem to feel any uneasiness at your comment.

“There were no guards.” he said, causing you to stare at him.

“I beg your pardon?” you blurted.

“There were no guards. I got locked in that one storage room, where I specifically told you not to go into, because of the faulty door. Turns out Wylan didn’t know this part of the house that well, since he didn’t tell me about the additional bolt preventing unauthorized people to leave. It took me an hour to get out of there.” he recounted calmly, surprisingly vulnerable.

“What?” you exclaimed, not comprehending where he was going with that.

“Are you starting to go deaf?” Kaz asked, sarcasm laced his voice.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” you asked incredulously, feeling like he was playing some weird prank on you.

“What would the team have thought of me, if I couldn’t get out of a simple locked room? After years and years of perfecting my lock picking, it didn’t feel right. It felt humiliating.” he said, venom present in his last sentence.

He wasn’t the kind of person to talk about these things freely, so it caught you off guard. Even though he presented himself as the confident, cold character he made himself out to be, there was a lot more going on inside his mind, which you didn’t have access to.

“Why are you telling me about this?”

“You’re claustrophobic.” he commented, a stern look painted on his face, “I know the start of a panic attack when I see one. Distraction helps.”

You only realized now that your heart had calmed down a great bit. It was as if a heartrender had slowed it down for you. It almost felt like Kaz genuinely cared about your wellbeing, but you didn’t let these thoughts cloud your sanity.

“Why does it matter to you?” you retorted bluntly, a sudden surge of confidence rushing through you.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes with one of his gloved hands.

“I’m not a monster, Y/N, if that is what you think of me. I do care about you. And the Crows.” he added.

“I don’t think you’re a monster. I never did. I just never thought that…”

“That I have feelings other than greed?” he finished.

“No! That’s not what I meant. You just never really seemed to care about these things.”

Kaz closed his eyes, fidgeting with his hands.

“Why did you care?” he asked suddenly, after a few minutes of silence.

“What?” you tried to inquire further, not understanding what he was referring to now.

“Why were you worried that I didn’t show up after the heist.”

“Oh, I uhm, I don’t feel like talking about it.” you stammered.

You knew that if you’d start that conversation now, there would be no turning back.

But seeing his questioning expression made you contemplate that decision.

“You’re my friend, Kaz. I do care about you too. Even though you can be an asshole sometimes.” you explained, as put together as possible.

“Is that all I am to you? A friend?” he shot back, no malice but genuine curiosity in his voice.

“No.” you spoke meekly, not sure how to save this situation anymore.

The following silence was deafening. His eyes never left, making you feel like the hurt prey of a merciless hunter. You hated him for not having any reaction to your implied love confession, and you hated the look of pity his eyes held. A different kind of panic built up in your chest, and you wanted to break the stillness more than ever.

“Listen, Kaz, I’m sorry. That’s why I didn’t feel like talking about it. I’m aware you don’t feel the same way, and I understand that completely. But I don’t want this to change the relationship we had, and I certainly don’t want you looking at me like you are now.” you tried to calm yourself, but Kaz just put up a hand to silence you.

“Don’t speak for me. You do not get to tell me how I’m supposed to feel.” he said, his voice untypically soft.

“What are you implying?”

“What do you think I’m implying?”

You groaned, the previous insecurity replaced by a feeling of frustration over Kaz’s behaviour.

“You’re not just a friend to me, either. That is what I’m implying. You never truly were only that.” he confessed, making your heart drop.

Before any of you could say anything more, you heard a low beeping noise, ending in a swift crack. You felt the door behind you moving open, your body almost falling backwards with it.

Jesper stood in the corridor, holding a bag of Wylan’s mini explosives. He took a moment to take in the scene, obviously amused by the view he had.

“I’d hate to disturb whatever is going on here, but we should really get going, like right now.” he exclaimed, reaching out to help you stand up.

Without any further explanation, the three of you took off running, taking one of the alternative exit routes Kaz had previously planned.

When you finally reached the main gate, Inej was already waiting for you, visibly relieved to see you alive.

“Saints, Kaz, we thought you got caught again. You should be thankful that we heard your voices through the door.” Jesper commented, making you wonder how much he heard of your conversation.

“Why didn’t you just crack the lock?” Inej asked with a puzzled expression, “You even taught me how to crack a vault from the inside, and that one back there really shouldn’t be a hard one. Especially for you.”

Kaz didn’t answer, he just continued on walking, giving her a dismissive hand gesture, speeding up to walk in front of the group.

The realization hit you like a coach. He could’ve opened the door all along, and he didn’t. He didn’t because he saw his chance and took it. Was that part of his plan all along?

You jogged up to him hastily, wanting to be out of earshot to the others.

“You knew how to open the vault all along, didn’t you?” you whispered.

“Yes.”

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Yes.”

“You purposefully didn’t crack open the door, because you wanted to tell me?”

“Don’t test your limits. We both have a few things to talk about, once we’re back at the Slat.” he answered smugly, looking into your eyes deeply.

“I think we do.”

#kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse #six of crows x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 4 years ago

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Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching?

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up.

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet.

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #edbella #twilight saga #asks #molly mumbles #elephantlovingmouse

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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

#bnha 313 #midoriya izuku #lady nagant #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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