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today’s writing spot in Seoul ft. a chocolate financier, an oat latte, & my little free book deal 🙈 for the sapphic lovers out there, get it while it’s hot!!!!
THE ANATOMY OF DYING
#the anatomy of dying#taod#indie books#indie author#book deal#free books#free book deals#books#writers#writeblr#writerscommunity#life in Seoul#korean langblr#sapphic books#wlw books#queer books#book recs#booklr#Seoul Life#living in Korea#korean#writers supporting writers#authors supporting authors#studyblr#authors of tumblr#writings#study motivation#studyspo#study space#student
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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shep. i finished xisuma's s8. i am plagued with so many thoughts /silly
Oh my gognfjgmgimfggfmgnmfdnffgh it’s. It’s so much. I have so much to say and so many thoughts they make me so crazy. They make me so crazy THEY MAKE ME SO CRAZY IS THIS THING ON CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
#hermitcraft#ask#artsy-book#hermitcraft season 8#xisumavoid#xisuma#evil x#not tagging this dbhc bc im talking about canon xisuma#not to say there aren’t theme overlaps but#yeah#the way I could write an essay about Xisuma’s mental state at the end of the season. what it must be like#to slowly come out of that state of being literally manipulated and controlled… to slowly like. gain consciousness again only to find#that the moon has gotten so big that it’s like. too late to do anything.#that he had been so distracted and busy with making the evil empire as profitable and helpful to the hermits as possible#that he just… hadn’t noticed#or been manipulated to believe it wasn’t a bug deal#big deal#or that it was just a rumor#and now it’s too late#but also… the moon is the REASON he’s free from EX’s control#isn’t it.#so… isn’t there a part of him that kind of NEEDS the moon to get closer?#so he can be free?#not that I think Xisuma ignoring the moon was an entirely conscious choice#anyway I’m fine about xisuma finally being free only to realize hermitcraft (and his hermits) are doomed#could he have done anything to stop it had he known about it earlier? who knows#I’m sure xisuma will say for a long time that he could have#but he didn’t in the end#and it wasn’t really his fault but i’m sure he’ll say it was#I need to stop talking before I’m dragged away
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You ever just see people talk about the Percy Jackson books and know somewhere, deep in your heart, that none of these people have understood that this is a series made for middle schoolers. And that fandom will very frequently lie to them like, all the time. No, that character probably isn’t ooc, you’re just thinking of what the fandom turned them into. No, this book isn’t a horrible stain next to the others before it, literally all of them were like this. It’s Percy Jackson. It’s cheesy and occasionally makes a very questionable writing decision.
You gotta be in this for the long haul or jump ship my guys. Be cringe and free or be gone
#percy jackson#tsats#solangelo book#rick riordan#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#the sun and the star#text post#yall are astounding me in ways i didnt know was possible god bless#also this was mostly written by mark not rick. like yes he signed off on it but still this is mostly mark#but its still Fine??? its fine?????? besties a book abt our favorite gays not being perfect is not the end of the world#did i cringe? hell yes. but was i free? tremendously. and i had a lot of fun i think#'bianca is in elysium but she was reincarnated??' yeah thats odd. anyway that scene was cute wasnt it#'everything is so on the nose' yeah its for middle schoolers and percy jackson isnt known for subtlety. its very rare#'will was ooc' weve literally barely gotten anything on him and no povs until now this IS establishing his character#'the puffs remove nicos whole trauma' no it doesnt. its a fantasy way to sort of explain that nicos trauma is now open instead of repressed#do i wish it wasnt sometimes explained as 'now the trauma is gone'? yes. but i think its moreso meant to be a way of nico dealing with them#he still HAS that trauma fellas. hes still going to be living with it. its just gonna be easier now. thats part of healing besties#also we dont know how these puffs are gonna act in the future so like. hush. shhhhhhhhhh. shut. it was literally never going to be perfect#its pjo. i love this series to death but. its pjo. it is. in fact. sometimes badly written. as it has been many times before in books before#and what else??????? it may not be written the greatest but its MY series that isnt written the greatest square up
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i've been working too freaking much to have time for actually anything outside of tattooing, but i swear to god i haven't forgotten about y'all (or yet-to-be-completed my 911 gotcha for gaza prompts, omg). i've been doing a lot of cool pieces lately but damn are they keeping me freaking busy!! i miss being a little gremlin on here lmao
#i also lost two grandparents back-to-back in august and have been processing since then#but at the same time having to deal with the pressures of capitalism#and also wishing i had more time for personal art outside of work#i'm going to be raising my prices this booking period and i'm nervous that people are going to not want to book with me because of it#but i've been tattooing for over seven years now and haven't raised my rates basically once sooooo. it's time :( money is dumb lmao#i wish i could tattoo for free and also that each day had 10 extra hours in it
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Very important conferences.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#some real serious discussions goin on in this atelier today. dont u doubt it.#agott is the only one who has ever thought about this because she is a 12 year old lesbian and UMM..FRIEND? LIKE FRIEND? IS THAT..LEGAL???#this is all i drew today because silly things like this take hours lol. at least it's practice for poses -_-#i got the pattern of the girls' dresses wrong but i couldn't be bothered to change halfway through.#don't worry if you're like what is the naakiwan downs. is that name even mentioned in the main manga#ANYWAY i KEEP thinking about what if it's actually banned for professors and watchful eyes to date like that would make a lot of sense.#like maybe it should be banned. SO??? are they just low-key Aware of what the deal is and they're just Putting their feelings aside#until graduation??? take my tassel as an unspoken reminder of how i feel?? living together trial period?? this feels like it's truly it#When we're free to be together........ Sensei loves homophobia parallels without there actually being homophobia#Let's invent reasons why men cant be together. Ummm well whatever. i'm screaming in my head but it's fine.#this will probably form the theme of my orufrey for a while. i've thought of this before but for some reason today it's big for me.#i guess the tassels might not specifically be a part of that since they exchanged them before tower of books#and qifrey made his mysterious decision to be a teacher after that and..well whatever. I need more of backstory and just..everything?#But i also don't mind when vinanna interrupts my wishes with just a chapter of just being really dreamy? I love witch hat?
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the more that i try to kill the part of me that cringes the more i realise that the people i know in my real life are sometimes. just boring and negative . and sad to be honest. why is anything new or different or enjoyable cringe to some of you.
#I’ve watched people get called cringe for having just like#interests. in general.#playing videogames. enjoying cinema. reading lots of books.#or taking an interest in like school extracurriculars that aren’t sport.#What on earthhhh.#and if a hobby is cringe it’s only cringe when somebody ‘ugly’ or ‘weird’ does it.#but when someone well-liked does it they’re artsy or something#you guys need to overcome the fear of being thought of as weird and embrace the brilliance of doing whatever you want that brings you joy#maybe it comes down to a lack of self-confidence which is just part of the package deal of being a teenager in this society#but come on. If you don’t start learning to overcome that fear now you’ll be doing it throughout adulthood.#when instead you could be free of that prison. being cringe and happy!#harping on
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I- I may have picked up too many books. i've got a lot of books. sdhjfk
#i'm still in my book phase. and i've been reading a LOT#but I've also been picking up books as fast as I have been reading them ahahaha#i've been trying most books on KU first (and then buying the ones I really like)#but a bunch of books I've been looking forward to have dropped!#new vampire book from dn bryn! domini's don't touch my stuff! book deal on a five book series people ADORE!!#plus i'm following a reddit with lots of book recs that flag when a book is discounted or free.....#lets just say#that both my kindle accounts are now stuffed sdgfjg#officially banning myself from KU again until I get through the backlog heheheh#and don't get me started on my ao3 bookmarks#sflgkjslg#tmi
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I think we need more stories about how even if you are genuinally a bad person or did something truly atrocious that does not justify the suffering of the mordern Prison Industrial Complex and how prison more than punishment should be about making sure if not all at least most people can go back to society and never do crimes again.
I mean it. Most stories about how bad prison is either follows a thief that did it out of necessity or an innocent man wrongfully arrested and we should think of those people ofc. But we should also think about how prison is not supposed to be karma is supposed to help society (plus we need more assistencial programs to suport victims of violence as well asap).
#and look it seems repehensible to say pay victims who lost their family members#but in a lot of cases a secondary or even primary income loss is also one of the things a grieving family will have to deal with#and while i think the biggest priority should be give them free good quality counseling#there's no point in having therapy when your problem is hunger or that you might not be abble to pay rent now#so yeah financial compensation is included#as someone who is the son of conservatives and whose dead works on the brazilian prison industrial complex#the level of dehumanization towards criminals is insane#and it's never rly based on the crimes they did but on how much they 'respect' the guards#also like I was reading the ballad of reading gaol and was#wow this is genuinally one of the few times the protagonist actually did something i find completly moraly reprehensive#and how it was harder to fell sympathetic towards him even with my views#and it yes victorian times sexism whatever but i know a guy that defends man who murdered woman and it does not sound like that at all#also i found fascinating how in the book i read it it was like yeah victorian prisons suck but we are better now#and i was like noope don't know how the uk is going but brazilian prisons are still shit#prison industrial complex#prison abolition
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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Last Line Tag
Thanks @frostedlemonwriter for tagging me✨
Softly tagging: @bluespringwrites @fishythewriter @elusiveink @angelltheninth @randomwriter23 @writingbrainrot
My heart stifled by the ghosts from decades past reaching out through the flowers on their graves. It was heartbreaking, yet soothing, being most alive amongst the dead. There had been times I had wished death for myself, but now that I had had a glimpse of it, that I had let it course my blood, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have anything to do with it.
I only wished to be stripped of everything—death, magic, and feelings. To be a lone shell—emotionless and unable to hurt, be it me or the others.
this is an unedited excerpt from my ghost x demon WIP~ hope you like it!
Quickly reminding you all that my sapphic novella THE ANATOMY OF DYING is currently FREE on Amazon for 2 more days.. if you’d like to get it 🙈🖤
#tag game#last line tag#wip#fsg#The Hollows#taod promo#free books#free book deals#book deals#sapphic books#wlw books#ghosts#demons
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nthn good in Camden so I'm treating my ass myself
#only 1 of these albums ive heard in full lmaoo#w/e im pretty sure ill like them all#every1 say thank u 2 world of books 4 having free shipping and a 30% off deal 🙏#i mean the 1 cd record store in camden was mad cool ghey DID have a david sylvian album#however. nthn that was particularly interesting 2 me#didnt even have the beatles?? wtfffff#anyways. yes. i heart wob#obligatory artists tags#weezer#radiohead#fob
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Kihrin is an in media res guy stuck in a sea of start at the beginning people
#a chorus of dragons#i like how he acknowledges it.#and then does a time skip and makes thurvishar deal with it#i also like how every book requires one character to speak about themself in third person of their own free will. very funny
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Something I felt while ruminating about Yuma has me really... kind of
...jesus...
*endgame spoilers*
He’s paranoid. As. Fuck. And being mentally cornered like that, is the major driving force behind opening up the Book of Death in the first place.
He had to force himself to undo all the life experiences up until he became Number One - how many years that was, who the fuck knows - but you already get an idea that Yuma is nothing if not stressed, all the damn time, so whatever it was that led him up to that title probably wasn’t a cakewalk either. Stress upon stress upon stress, and worse, with no one to truly put confidence in back then.
It meant that he also couldn’t trust himself to do what was necessary without turning to extreme, drastic means. Hell, Chapter 3 is enough to show that the Master Detectives can accomplish awesome things without the need for that book, just as long as everyone was on the same page and using their power. What’s more, there’s a very good chance that if Yuma had boarded that train with Number One’s memories intact, that he could have faked being drowsy in order to corner ‘Zilch’ and stop the massacre from ever happening. It’s still a tremendous risk, but hardly as risky as going in experience and memory-less. He could still use the cook’s identity without compromising his own, and yet?
This is what Vivia meant when he said that ‘it was already up to his neck’. Yuma had been ruined, in his heart and head. He still wanted to do right through that, but he was so blinded by his fears - whether of outing himself, endangering people he might get close to, betrayal, whatever - that he sought the help of a death god to guide him without his troubled memories. Because a contract with a supernatural being is likely to be more trustworthy than a fallible human.
What’s more, is this is such a human reaction to feeling cornered. Have you ever wanted to throw away your memories and start from scratch, only this time with someone who knows you by your side, to guide you through your fresh idealistic self to the place you want to be, rather than a jaded husk of a person who’s completely lost when reaching out to others? Redo your brain chemistry?
I feel like if I had that chance, I’d probably have taken it, too.
#yuma kokohead#offgame writing#i may have just been broken by a fanfic#no big deal.#fuck. FUCK#i have too many feelings about this that were left-#-cogitating in some quagmire before now#and this isn't even all of it#it's all I can elucidate right about now anyways#just. Jesus! Shit! Fuck!#i either cannot comprehend or it's So Relatable that it Hurts. take your pick#i'm not going into the ethics of the book but just- the Decision really hurts#raincode#raincode spoilers#note: I might be. filling in gaps but I'm interpreting#feel free to disagree but I personally feel strongly about this reading
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TBOB spoilers:
#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#bill cipher#the billble spoilers#i thought that he was trapped in a void while still having a connection to the statue and being able to see through drawings of himself#i thought the statue was his corpse and he could find a way to possess it again#i forgot he physically went into Stan's mind so i'm not so sure about the statue being his corpse anymore#he wouldn't have exactly got off scott free but it what actually happened to him is a far worse fate#he would've gotten out of the nightmare realm#instead of being forced to do worksheets every day he could've watched / waited for someone to make a deal#and worked on his book of course#he doesn't want to be fixed because he's convinced he's not broken#the real kicker is i think the axolotl meant well - he was trying to help Bill#but Bill would've probably rather gone to Hell than be forced to go to therapy#[personal tag here]#poll
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Love subversive queer lit with messy lgbt protags? You're in luck. Today's the *last day* to get all of my eBooks for free!
reposts and likes appreciated~ <3
#writeblr#writing#books and reading#booklr#new books#books to read#writingcommunity#free#constelis voss#freebies#deals#ebooks#free ebooks#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets
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