#frankly idk why i *am* trying to handle all this. i'm so so so so so tired

[travellingseal]

you know what. i'm just exhausted and i'm having an awful time. idk what else to say.

[umbralsong]

Astarion & Intimacy

Astarion: The man of your dreams, the hope of him, is your own worst enemy.

Am I ready? NO. Do I have to be ready? All the fucking time? In this economy? I'm just going to collapse dramatically, on a personal note. Also, this may be best as a work in progress somewhat.

I want to acknowledge his resonance with [sex workers]. Check out this author's excellent [fan fiction] handling the matter and the nuances.

His arc is understandably very personal to survivors of sexual abuse, so please take care as you go along and know you aren't alone. These observations are meant to be a character analysis and my personal interpretations.

Oh, Megan Thee Stallion, we're really in it now. I mean, we were before, but now also more.

The United States is experiencing an exponential rise in racism and hate crimes thanks to our [gutless, greedy leaders]. Racism is a system of oppression and an ideology of dehumanization, not a quirky character flaw. [Fandom has forever been a place used by extremists to recruit]. I've addressed issues surrounding the element of racism in Astarion's writing [here]. I would also like to highlight issues surrounding the portrayal of sexual slavery highlighted [here] by the excellent Stitch Media Mix.

Donate to Gaza here: https://gazafunds.org/ Support good causes with a click here: https://arab.org/ Ceasefire Now: https://ceasefire-now.com/ Donate to the [Sidewalk School] [Pay your rent], settlers. [Crips for E-Sims for Gaza].

Astarion has a fraught relationship with intimacy.

We meet him at the start of his new un-life. He continues to operate as though under Cazador's control. He hints at the things he had to do and only discusses it frankly in Act III. He was a sex slave to the vampire who sired him with no autonomy. Whatever affection or attraction he felt, he always had to deliver them to what he assumed was death on command:

Astarion: Ah, the bedrooms. Never once slept in. This is where I took our 'guests'. I'd entertain them here, until Cazador appeared and... took them away.

Vellioth and Cazador have rules. Here they are respectively:

Vellioth's first lesson is always to dominate. Allow none to be your equal. Vellioth's second lesson is that power comes from solitude. To share with others is to be weak, and to be weak is to fail... and die. Vellioth's third lesson is to act not in haste. A near immortal has time to plan, time to act only when others will pay the price of action.

How they were adapted in relation to Astarion:

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures. Second, thou shalt obey me in all things. Third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed. Four, thou shalt know that thou art mine.

*sigh* So, understandably, his view of relationships is like:

Astarion: You never asked me to take my shirt off. I always thought they were a sign of my humiliation. I never realised there might be more to them. But Raphael told us he can make the impossible come true. I have to try my luck. Player: We really shouldn't trust him. Astarion: I don't trust him. He doesn't trust me. We are using one another for our mutual benefit. You should try it some time.

(idk if this is cut or not, but I found it interesting.)

Give his, um, "approach," there is an understandable question of how much of his romance is sincere. Mechanically and as far as the story is concerned, it begins with enough influence/on the first night he spends with the PC and he says things to indicate as much later. I do still understand why this would leave a sour taste in other player's mouths and come off as unnecessarily manipulative, considering it's not a conversation you can hash out with Astarion.

This is as close to confronting him about his intentions in Act I. I believe this happens if you slept with him once and never spoke to him again until Act II (RIP players with ADHD):

Astarion: Seeking to correct your mistake? Player: I'm not sure. I feel there's something you haven't told me. Astarion: Perhaps you got the wrong idea. I never slept with you for pleasure alone. Couldn't you tell? Back in the forest, we both came out on the winning side. The game was clear. You get a moment of escape with a world-endingly beautiful vampire. I get someone to defend me from Cazador. Now, though, I'm hardly going to give you a treat when you haven't helped me in exchange for my excellent services. Player: You were just tricking me into thinking you wanted me in earnest? Astarion: This is what I do. Who did you think you were dealing with? Some fairy tale prince? You are one of a tiny number of people I've slept with who aren't dead. Cheer up, it's quite the achievement! There isn't going to be any more 'us', though. I just don't see the point.

("Treat." Interesting. He has many allegories to consumption, gluttony, greed, and the ouroboros. He also has a tendency to behave and speak like Cazador in his idea of fairness. We may glean a lot about Cazador from Astarion's initial interactions.)

To acknowledge the depth of the wrongs he unwillingly committed with his own hands and the hurt he felt would be psychologically overwhelming compared to pretending to be someone like the perpetrator he was forced to emulate (and who notably pretends not to hurt). It is not always healthy to tear through someone's defensive adaptations, even though people still have to make amends.

His trauma with intimacy is not only with others, but with himself. Personally, I interpret his Act I scene as his first consensual attempt at intimacy, both in sex and in his trauma, in body and soul, embodied by his scars.

Initiating the Romance

He's a vampire, so we're playing into the seduction trope to begin the romance. My demipansexual ass believes there is room for an ace route since *gestures at Karlach and the topic of this essay,* but I digress.

The game takes two interesting tones, depending on whether you have high approval when he propositions the PC or propositions at the Tiefling/Raid party. I'd argue the former is slightly more affectionate than the other, but they're both good for different reasons and for different Tavs.

Should he initiate a relationship with the PC, he sets expectations early on. He's afraid of returning to Cazador's control even with a lot of influence, so he keeps the PC at arm's length and sticks to his One Night Stand routine. He's hilariously taken aback at the party by being asked to say "please." Devnotes for the party:

After the party, Astarion is standing in a corner, bottle of wine in hand, in a bad mood. Everything's too merry for him, not hedonistic enough. But there's the possibility of a little hedonism with the player, if you both agree to meet up for a little 'fun' later in the night. That's a tantilising thought - there might be something to look forward to after all.

High approval (and acting, uh, much more agreeable than my Tav to demonstrate Astarion's double-edged language):

Astarion: Darling, I was just thinking about you. Remembering our time together, the things we've shared - and I don't just mean that lovely neck of yours. I'm growing to like the whole package, honestly. And you clearly like me too, so... Player: What gave it away? Astarion: I could feel it as I was getting lost in your neck. Your little shakes of excitement. You enjoyed it, didn't you? Player: Yes, I did. Astarion: So did I. More than words can say. You deserve a reward. I am so very pleased with what you gave me. We could take an evening to ourselves. Get away from camp - get some privacy. I know somewhere quiet. Somewhere intimate. Somewhere we can... indulge in each other. Player: That sounds pretty good to me. Astarion: Wonderful. I just hope we don't have to wait too long before we can steal away. But once we can, I promise you a night you'll never forget. See you there, lover

The devnotes say "wonderful" is said with a big smile.

He'll be disappointed if you choose to spend the night with someone else in both situations, though he plays it off with his classic icy facade - the defense mechanism against emotional intimacy he developed under Cazador.

This is hard to articulate because it is entirely based on emotional logic, but I'll try my best. A gentle reminder that Astarion can reject the PC, so the fact this is one of the first acts of intimacy he chooses to engage in is important. This is the beginning of his romance, however you headcanon the event for the couple. It is partly what is a real romance scene, even if he can't fully commit himself for psychological reasons.

He still chooses to do so because intimacy is fun for him. Let's acknowledge, sympathize with, and not excuse the limited scope of interaction he had for two centuries, so traumatizing he doesn't remember much of his previous life. While he once engaged in intimacy under enthrallment, now he does it out of attraction, curiosity, and guile.

The second night with the player has this is in the dialogue notes:

Second time Astarion propositions the player to sleep with him [...] The player starts to realise Astarion might have been just playing an act to seduce them the whole time, and that his affection for them might not be genuine. Bridges the gap before he confesses this in his act 2 romance, and says he wants to stop manipulating people and have a real relationship.

The only real "indicator" for me was just that he didn't seem... affectionate. For all of his reactivity and greetings, he is surprisingly bereft of scenes that confirm or put to question his feelings. I do appreciate much of the subtlety, mind you - but he's notably rejecting of intimacy throughout the game and I did interpret it as a one night stand. A few transition scenes would have done us much good, though there are definitely ways to play it with satisfying sweetness.

When you agree meet up with him with high approval the second time:

Astarion: I hoped you would come. I have missed you. And now you're all mine, and I'm all yours. Until morning at least. Let's see where the night takes us.

The devnote says: "with a smile - he's not about to commit to anything long-term"

When you reject him:

Player: I think it's better if we leave last time as a once-off. Astarion: Well, well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. In all honesty, it is a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back ten thousand times or more, and forgotten half of them. But you... you I'll remember. Have a fine evening, dear.

The first time I heard it, I was taken aback that he found it in himself to be sincere.

Oh, and that it wasn't actually a one-night stand.

In hindsight, the fact this is one of the few times early in the story he offers any honesty at all tells me he's being genuine. Spending the night with his lover was special to him, and we understand why with context.

Something Real

Astarion: I was trying, with you, you know. In the only way I can try.

Well, this dialogue option may make it seem like he does try, but I will point out that he isn't particularly overt about his affection (I want to emphasize that I understand this characterization to a point - but remember that the PC does not know him and that this affection is supposed to be genuine. You can convey that without being cheesy).

The times this is clearly played out are during break-ups:

Player: Whatever is between us, we need to end it. Astarion: I - I can hardly blame you. I don't exactly have much to offer right now, beyond new burdens to carry. Player: This just isn't what I wanted, when we first slept together. Astarion: I was beginning to believe someone truly wanted me. But I shouldn't have deluded myself. From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?

How adorable would it be if he truly played up this Cinderella reference in romance? Instead, there is a lot of bitterness and mixed-messaging in his romance. It makes for a weaker story.

I do also take his dialogue literally. He thinks you will only want his beautiful, eternal, and dead form, and not the mutable person beneath. There are other indications, even outside of a romantic partnership:

Player: Unlike you to be so unwilling to receive a new power... Astarion: That was before I knew the cost. Before I knew it meant transforming into some grotesque beast. I remember how it hurt when I turned to a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless, the grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last. I - I don't want to turn into anything else. I can't do that again. I can't watch my body be taken over. Player: You're afraid? Astarion: I'll happily murder my way to whatever powerful artefacts we can make use of. Point at the back and I'll stab. Just don't ask me to sacrifice my body. It hasn't been mine for so long.

The few dialogues that clarify Tav's complete domination over him, the one Cazador acknowledges.

Once more:

Player: Your illithid powers are the only reason you can stand up to Cazador. This will help you defeat him. Astarion: I'm really not sure... Player: Tell me of the weakest moment you ever felt in those two hundred years. Narrator: *As you pick apart his mind, you discover his worst memory. That which brings him the purest terror. Complete solitude after being disobedient. Sealed. Buried alive. Voiceless. Will this be forever? A year of horror. Then the release. He will never disobey again.* Player: You never want to risk that again. Even if it means becoming part-illithid. Astarion: Damn it. Damn you. All right... I'll do it.

The player may command him to change his very being.

I think we must view this in the context of one of his few real attractions: Sebastian.

Narrator: *Approaching the cells, you're met by hollow faces and eyes reluctant to meet your gaze. There's an almost physical stink of decay and neglect.* Sebastian: You. I know you. Narrator: *The last time you heard this voice, it was singing drunkenly, whispering sweetly, then sighing with pleasure. One of your conquests, claimed for Cazador. He should have been consumed long ago.* Astarion: I remember you. Sebastian: I can never forget you. Astarion: How are you still alive? Sebastian: It's your fault. You stole my life - stole my death. You smiled and joked and got me drunk. You called me so many sweet things. My name sounded like a lyric on your tongue. I want to hear you say it again. Say my name. Astarion: *Among the scars on his face is one you recognise - it's identical to one of the runes carved into your back.* That scar on your face - it must bind you to Cazador's Black Mass. Sebastian: No more games. Say my name! Narrator: *He looks at you expectantly, his hollow eyes boring into yours.* Astarion: Sebastian. Sebastian: You still make it sound so beautiful. You were my first. And my last. [...] Astarion: You should be dead. Why didn't Cazador feed on you? Sebastian: He made me a spawn. Left me here to rot. But I can't rot - I can't die. Astarion: I'm so sorry. Sebastian: You brought me to this hell. Abandoned me. How long has it been? Astarion: One hundred and seventy years. You were one of my first too. Sebastian: My family - my friends - they're gone... You took them from me. You took everything from me!

Against the threat of complete annihilation of his lovers, he still wanted connection. Pursuing his romantic and sexual interests were empowering to him. His autonomy is a weapon that can be wielded against him to great effect.

In his ascension:

Astarion: *Sigh.* There's no use in us fighting any longer, is there? You are a person of rare talent. You aided greatly in my conquest, even if you did not end up a part of it. And if we were beholden to one another? Well, how is that too different to being enslaved? It is for the best. Player: You were terrible for me. And I did terrible things for you. Astarion: The gravest crimes committed in this world are committed for love. A hunger crueller than bloodlust. I know how to play with it, and can't resist playing the hand I know. I would have ruined your love, used your trust until you were nothing.

The PC was not "part" of his conquest. Being in love with them was equal to the torment of enslavement to him. His worst impulses say: Let none be your equal.

Love: A hunger crueler than blood lust.

The man of your dreams: Your worst enemy.

He embodies them all in ascension, or becomes himself.

After completing his quest and breaking up in Act III:

Astarion: Well... Goodbye, then. I suppose. You brought my dead heart back to life. It will keep beating.

This is when he comes to a healthier place and keeps romance as a part of his life, and not its driving force. Good for him.

[therealestidealist]

idk dude I'm NT too and something I've learned is that sometimes you don't have to understand something to respect it. so you don't get why commercial art is ok to repost even though it's been explained to you (and frankly you are making bad faith arguments, imo), but it's still been said over and over so clearly it's something people feel is important. I think you ought to consider why instead of acting like a martyr when no one has told you to kys.

(I don't necessarily think the arguments made abt sharing some types of art were all that eloquent but I don't really think you'll listen so I'm not going to try to clarify)

sorry some people were rude to you but you came out the gate very rude and entitled in the original message when they were being polite. being called buddy is neutral, it's not some sort of hatecrime. maybe you had a shitty day or something and were in a bad mood, and this only made that worse, but the way you lashed out was inappropriate. being NT is not an excuse. we are not stupid. we can learn when we fuck up and how to react appropriately despite how ugly our initial reactions to criticism can be. just cause your brain tells you "everyone hates you cause you fucked up" does not make that true. I've learned this the hard way and you probably will too.

i think at this point you are really just being willfully ignorant and standing your ground bc you don't want to admit wrongdoing. I get it but I think it's time to let it go.

and again, some people were rude and you lashed out, but others were polite and you just call them considering. there's no winning and no opportunity for growth or improvement with that attitude. learn to take criticism instead of trying to guilt anyone who has something negative to say about something you did by telling them you're going to kill yourself and that everyone wants you dead. (people are criticizing something you DID, not YOU as a person. there's a difference.)

you're the one suicide baiting. please do better cause I know from experience that behavior won't do you any good.

I hope you can put this behind you because it really was not a big deal until you lashed out. You'll move on and it'll be okay. Just learn what you can from this.

This is exactly what I'm talking about with being talked down to and gaslighting. I didn't fuck up. What I did wasn't art theft. I did a lot of googling about what is and isn't considered stealing art over the past day. I was talked to as if being sat down in time out, picked apart by the public and ridiculed over something that many people don't find egregious at all. My wife is an artist and encouraged me to share the art in the first place. I myself am a sex worker, I've had my work reposted before, sometimes with credit and sometimes without. This isn't to say this particular artist's wishes shouldn't be respected, I took down the post per the artist's request. It's just to say that the way I was treated like I was being taught a lesson over something for which there is no official guidebook or any clear consensus over was very mob-like. I was defensive in my original DMs because I was accused of theft. I don't think what I did was theft because there were credits. Then I was accused of "not trying hard enough to contact the artist". The artist's Tumblr is not connected to their twitter, and they don't even have the same handle. So even if I knew to contact them, to act like it would have been easy to find their Tumblr is simply disingenuous. The person who informed me about this artist's preferences likely just recognized the artist from here already.

No, I'm not arguing in bad faith. You and others in notes are insistent that I just need to listen to and accept what people are accusing me of without question. Don't I get to state my case? The way I was treated was inhuman. That's why I feel as though everyone hated me. I did not "fuck up" and you won't make me believe I fucked up. I am not an idiot. I am not going to just accept being scolded and belittled over something that frankly isn't even a real problem (posting art with credits). The whole distinction over being paid vs not being paid and the accusation that my credits weren't "proper" remain vague. These are not satisfactory explanations to me. No one has tried to clarify to me why it is considered etiquette to do something that so many artists dont even care about. One artist has a message about not sharing their art that I didn't see before sharing it and now I'm an art thief for crediting them? You can see why I am defensive? You can see why this doesn't register as a "fuck up" to me?

This whole thing could have been avoided if I had been linked to the artist's post in the opening message instead of being accused of stealing - which I must emphasize - I DID NOT STEAL. I poured over discussions about art reposting over the past day and have come to the conclusion that I was falsely accused and the intent was to smear me from the start. The way you see the original DM as reasonable honestly sickens me. They were only after some Internet clout and they got it. If you talk like this to your friends and family I feel sorry for them.

You need to step down and reflect on your priorities. Stop siding with manipulators. Stop policing small personal blogs who just want to be left alone. Stop lying about norms/etiquette/courtesies that are far from unanimously agreed upon. You will be remembered as a hateful bully if you continue on acting sanctimoniously and talking down to people instead of engaging with them honestly and thoughtfully, with compassion and a willingness to listen.

[shae-la-hyene]

My video editor is smth I paid for. So it won't open until I opened my app store account out of nowhere. I try to connect. It won't. Wtf do I do now, Apple ?

Apparently I'm not the only one. Found very complicated instructions to fix it. They don't amount to nothing I don't know what language they're speaking !

There is no good reason for computers to be this complicated

I never wanted to be a hacker !

Tried stuff with safe mode. It's weird. I feel like I'm forcing it to his knees in a sordid bdsm club and he does NOT like that

There are people who are PASSIONATE ABOUT THAT !??

This is bs I bet it's just apple doing shit

I just want to call support and have them guide me through it. That's unlikely to be that easy

Seriously starting to think when this laptop dies I'm not gonna replace it but another macbook. I'm kinda over this bs. This is a workaround french laws against planned obsolescence

Well. Apple support was a bust. They're not expert at apple stuff they're just expert at SELLING apple stuff

Again, idk why I'm surprised but somehow I AM

Put my laptop through the grinder which it kinda can't handle in his old age.

No frankly I don't want to pay 40€ for an ios upgrade that may or may not wipe my entire pc and may or may not be completely irrelevant to the problem at hand

''I only see an update to cause that problem'' you mean the problem you never encountered before ?? All you know is how to 'fix' planned obsolescence by making people buy stuff. Well sorry but no. I can't afford to 'solve' all my problems by throwing money at them !

[normystical]

Mostly rambling nonsense here because I feel like it... but if you can tolerate that, maybe this could be useful? idk.

I think I've found a way to reason your way out of fear. It works for rational fears, however, and not so much at all for irrational fears. That's right, you can rationalize your way through rational fears.

See, the thing is, most people stop reasoning at "because The Bad Thing will happen," and an "I don't know" warrants further hounding. That simply does not work. Rather, it should be the other way around.

"WHY am I scared of The Bad Thing happening?"

I used to be afraid of bothering bees or wasps, but it's significantly diminished. Initially, it seemed more simple. I was in a bad headspace, frankly. "Bee stings cannot hurt any more than my mental pain does every day, so there is no reason to be afraid." Comparing it to pain I have truly experienced perhaps may help a bit, but what I hadn't realized was that it went a bit deeper than that.

With that specific example in place, I'll repeat myself now. The typical thought process is

Why am I scared to bother the bees? —> Because I might get stung.

or maybe even, a step further,

Why am I afraid to get stung? —> Because it will hurt.

It seems that most people fail to realize, you can ask further.

Why am I afraid of being hurt?

That opens up a ton of possible questions, actually.

How much would that hurt?

Can I handle that pain?

Would it be worse than the anxiety I'm feeling about it now?

Will it kill me?

Note, however, if it didn't contribute to your fear before, then, if possible, don't allow it to do so afterward.

I have never been stung. I do not know if I have any allergies. That was never a concern for me, though. I assumed I had zero allergies. I know others are incapable, and that's valid, but me, I can kind of just push certain concerns into the back of my mind and forget it.

I had another example in mind.

I'm a bit worried when it comes to food sometimes. I try and make sure it's good and not expired. I seem to forget to ask myself, though:

What will happen if it IS expired?

(I might get sick.)

What will happen if I get sick?

(Probably throw up?)

Am I afraid of doing that?

(Me, no. I can't handle when others do it, but for me it's just... uncomfortable.)

Wait, is anyone else around to witness this? Will they...?

(No... I'm alone. I'm safe.)

See, I'm emetophobic. Well, self-diagnosed? I'm not 100% sure, but no matter what, I just REALLLLYY don't want to witness that. Ever.

I believe that, in reasoning this way,

I don't know.

could be extended to

I don't know. I guess it's visceral.

Some fears just can't be reasoned with.

I'm not afraid of getting sick. I'm not afraid of getting my papers or my outfit ruined. I'm just... afraid.

And you know what?

That's good enough reason to be afraid.

Here's another way to look at it.

Everything good, bad... reasons why we avoid things, go toward them, fear them, reason for or against them... hell, the sensation of pain itself... it's all just feelings, is it not?

Even on a more existential level, technically even just existing, we do it because of feelings. Even if you resent life, well, it's permanent and risky to... you know.

That being said... isn't fear itself technically a form of pain?

So, another way to word those rationalizating questions is...

How bad would this feel to me?

When it comes to phobias, you could say that you're afraid to be in fear.

In fact, that's probably essentially what it is, anyway.

All forms of pain do play a role in this.

Physical... emotional... not even just that, but different forms of emotional pain, too.

Anger, fear, humiliation, misery, guilt. Whichever ones are easiest to bear varies from person to person. But, like a headache or a scratch, it is pain.

The discomfort from a bee sting? Yeah, I could handle that.

The discomfort from throwing up? I can handle it, but I'd prefer not to if possible.

The discomfort from my phobia being triggered? I doubt I could. I have no idea how I'd react, but that's because I haven't been triggered full-on in quite a while. And I do not want to find out.

[ineffablehogwash]

Some around-the-house work I felt like rambling about:

Why do people paint over this kind of stuff??

For the past couple of years, we've been renting a house in the city we've grown up in, but with an unfortunately, absolutely outrageous, exponentially growing cost of living - but somehow lucking the FUCK out, paying 1/3 of the rent cost that this property would normally go for.

The owners live a state north of us in an extravaganly large house, and it's the lady's deceased mothers home we rent, so we're guessing they're nice and like us and are therefore keeping it at this affordable (and frankly more reasonable considering wages, false inflation etc.) price? Idk, I'm afraid to question it...

Between the LOW ASS PRICE, knowing I won't be able to afford anywhere else, and since I have a drastic fear of eviction after being kicked out from my home with a 3 week notice before Xmas with my 3 year old because they decided on a whim to sell the property (and a whole lot of drama with that), I am always anxious to reach out to landlords with "issues".

Hence, I'm frequently fixing the toilet and sinks, etc. myself!

Well, my kid (who's about to turn 10 😭) has been having more and more trouble with his door not closing, the handle not working and what have you - this issue was existing when we moved in, but has gotten worse to where he has to use a wedge under it and some other stupid shit just to have a modicum of privacy or to keep the cats out when he's not home.

Since the landlords haven't fixed it in the last couple years, I went ahead and went for it, teaching myself the inner workings of old mortise locks and door knobs!

Took everything out and apart, rebuilt the portion of the door frame that was too far damaged, reset the plates, sanded and repainted the edges to where the door fully fits in the frame again from the now-100-year-old house settling and summer swelling, and did my best to restore the handle pieces to what they may have looked like a few decades ago.

To supplement, as I didn't take a lot of pics being so engrossed in the project, this is what the inside of a mortise lock looks like!

I'm kind of kicking myself for not taking more pictures along the way, but since it wasn't just his door that was apathetically slathered with landlord-special, I took a picture of another in the house to compare for before and after:

Getting the screws loose to start this whole thing was INCREDIBLY frustrating, stripping the paint off wasn't too bad, buffing the brass to a shine took *forever.* The tools I had on hand did leave a lil more sanding lines on two of the pieces than I would've liked, but overall I really cannot be too displeased.

I still need to recut the hole for the lock, might try to find him a key to use with it, cause it's so fucking cool.

Either way, he was elated to have a functional door again, and even more overjoyed with how it looks.

Took two full days, but I'm incredibly happy to have figured it all out!

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD

[komatsunana]

hiiii hope you're doing great 😊💗

for the character opinion bingo

reira serizawa & johan liebert <33

hello thanks for asking, I'm recovering from the stomach flu!! So much better than I have been lol. Unfortunately, even though Monster has been very high up the list on my to watch/read... I haven't yet done. But it's been so highly liked by trusted people so I know I will like it. But can't say anything on my thoughts on Johan Liebert yet 😩

As for that Reira.... all comments about my tabs under the cut because that's how I roll lol.

So close to 2 BINGOS and yet I'd sooner have the stomach flu again than dab them lol

So yes. Reira. That hair, those curls......... love. But more importantly THAT COLOR??? wowie it's been a dream coloring for me. Like I know it somewhat varies from illustration to illustration and even in the anime... The dusty rose color is like a DREAM. It's like,, are you pink? blonde? strawberry blonde? silver? lilac? puce? and the answer is yes <3

but also skipping ahead to a future dab........... why she look like that? yeah why the terf bangs. more importantly... she she (and the rest of trapnest) look like this in this one illustration

I am sorry but I think about this absolute fashion nightmare of Trapnest's on the daily and none of these fools have looked worse. None of these colors go, why you look like that... please stop

Not to be arrogant but I see so many bad takes on Reira it makes my head spin. People really be like "Reira is the worst character, I hate her she should die" and I'm no you need to shut up you're incredibly wrong and then others are like "I love Reira she's so great, she's never done anything wrong" and I'm like wow you absolutely need to never talk again. Sorry, I'm joking but also... no I am not <3

I NEED to see Reira interact more with Hachi and Nana and frankly every other member of Trapnest and Blast other than Shin. Also like, it's such a waste that she's like "hi, I am an incredibly lonely and damaged person and the only company I have really found romantically is a boy being sex trafficked, using my minimal power in my life to have a relationship with this boy and later another young child of the man I've been infatuated with my entire life" which COULD be a fascinating exploration of cycle of abuse, how the abused will try and control an even more vulnerable person to lay their frustration and damage of their own abuse on another.......... BUT INSTEAD all we get is that the relationship Reira has with a sex trafficked teen is that it's socially wrong and would be a bad for for her career. Like OKAY I GUESS BUT NOT REALLY

That said Reira is an incredible fascinating character with depths to explore it's just the whole her relationship with little boys is very distracting.

GOSH tho does it do my head in that for so many years Reira was given was her interference with Hachi/Takumi and Nana/Ren then her relationship with Shin. Like come on NANA fandom of 15 years ago. Get it together

Sleeping with a 15 year old when you are in your 20's is a horrible person move thank you next

When I take my own gosh darn "Which NANA character are you" personality uquiz I always get Reira and this is very mentally ill of me and I have way too many feelings about that and about her in general that it's damaged my psyche permanently.

"works better as part of a dynamic" and that dynamic is Ren. it's Naoki. It's how she should have a dynamic with Hachi and Nana that isn't just,, through their relationship with men but actual feelings about and for each other as people. DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN BE ON HER OWN, she can't take it... I can't take it

Given the wasted potential of her story arc and her relationship of using sex trafficking like... idk. Maybe the story would just be better off without her. That or the relationship with Shin, or better handling of it. You decide.

And yeah, I would NEVER marry this woman and CLEARLY I think this woman has done many very bad things wrong.

Thank you for asking!! I have no idea why I wanted to do this more than the 4 very good and fascinating questions that are waiting in my ask box very much not forgotten but still just. sitting waiting.

[timextoxhajima]

NOO i swear you're not taking any of my time huhu i love talking to you😭😭 tbh i usually have time at nights but i'd rather use them to sleep or watch some tbz content bc my a test every 3 weeks schedule is still going but i have a lot more to do now so i'd usually spent the first 1 weeks with taking as much rests as i can 🥲

and no worries ur not making me feel pressured to reveal myself!!!! im just saying this bc i really wanna be friends w u,, but if i ever leave tumblr then i WILL OFC I WILL TELL U

hehehe yea i love trying new hobbies no matter how bad i may be at them just to find the feeling of joy when i feel like im truly enjoying them, and with writing even when what i write has nothing to do with my thoughts it really help in keeping my minds busy instead of drifting away into bad thoughts🥲🥲 i do video editing too sometimes, photography, but its kinda hard thanks to the pandemic so yeah,,, editing sunwoo video it is for me😭😂 i hope you found ur getaway too!!! or did u already?

I C THE NEW ENHYPEN POST OMG IVE BEEN SEEING THEM A LOT LIKE A WHOLE LOT EVERYWHERE not to mention im also a shawol so i know that ni-ki was one of the shinee kid?? in shinee's japanese concert😭😂 but i havent found the time to know abt the other members yet so--

ANW I RLLY LOVE THAT FOR UU its good that you're getting a lot more comfortable❤️ so does that mean you are currently on a holiday? yea coming back to uni really sucks sometimes i hated it a lot too but these days i've gotten a lot closer to my friends and i miss them so much now that we havent seen each other for months🥲

i'm pretty good! all the preparation has been kinda a lot and my research supervisor has been kinda laterep lately which is making me super anxious most of the time bc i really need to get everything done by august😭😭 but yeah writing has helped me A LOT in shifting my thoughts and making me feel better, i hope i am taking care of myself enough

how about you dana? are you taking care of yourself ? - 🍋🍋

omg just sleep LMAO just fkin sleep it's fine tumblr isn't worth your physical health HAHAHAHHAHA yeah your 3-week test schedule sounds disgustang fam idk how you do it so props to you

omg... tbh photography is a great way to ?? learn about life?? does that make sense lol i started photography in 2013 and now i've shifted more into filming, writing and editing so it was a very nice shift and transition for me. i guess my getaway definitely includes writing fics, i'm on a video production intern right now too so i get to shoot in studios and edit the footage later on. i was supposed to go on a chill photoshoot with a friend but covid said fuck you LMAO but i might get paid to help my freshies do their committee photoshoot at the end of the year so that'll be a blast. i love brainstorming themes for photoshoots and like templating designs - i think i'm an all-rounded creative person, as in into creatives [not boasting about... my creativity] but i definitely love the freedom in expression and i'm starting to realise that i'm picking up every single medium i could possibly utilise to exploit this freedom of expression thing: writing, dancing, filming, photography, creative designs, you name it LOL

yes niki was a shawol!! he went for a tokyo dome concert of shinee's and key hugged him while he cried LMAO he said it was like 2014 or smth which meant that niki was fucken... 9... stanning enha has been a JOURNEY for me because all this while i've been stanning groups that are generally older than me. even with skz jeongin i began to feel a tad awkward because he's younger, and with txt i basically couldn't whole-heartedly stan them because 3/5 of them are younger than me... then you have enha whose maknae is younger than my sister?! like... fam... how... why... am i that old now... omg

yeah i am on holiday! my sem ended in late april and since then i've been pretty much rotting at home, handling my intern projects, writing, learning some choreos for more covers and sobbing over kdramas owo the tissues wasted LMAO i love this break for myself honestly cause the sem was such a shitshow and i lost a friend or two over some nonsense and i had conflict with a couple of others too so while i do miss their nonsense, i really need the time away from these idiots who act like 5 year olds sometimes

omg i hope your supervisor knows not to pressure you too much, like work-life balance is a thing there right... >.>

i'm so happy you're writing that shit out. back before i began to write i felt so suffocated and i can't imagine my life if i didn't go into writing so i'm glad you found this portal to escape, even if it is for a moment!

i'm taking of myself... by keeping myself at home LMAO i haven't seen friends for like... weeks now, which is pretty surprising given the circumstances, because we're not on lockdown and you can still go out in pairs and i've had friends trying to get me out of the house to hang but i'm... so lazy... and frankly just uninterested in a social life now. idk how i shd feel about that, it's like the introvert rlly hopped the fuck out after i spent majority of the past sem acting like an extrovert.

if you consider sleeping at 4am every night taking care of myself then HEY i guess im fit as a pickle HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

[ifonlysj]

heyyyy i'm a relatively new elf and i loooove sungmin but i have a question. you said sungmin "made a mistake in the way he treated fans who were supporting and even helping out his wedding". what is that about? i only know that he got hate for marrying which is bullshit but what happened with supportive fans? thank you, love your blog

hey anon! as promised: here is my opinion about how sungmin handled the situation~ and please take it with a grain of salt and form your own judgement.

just wanted to remind everyone reading this that i still think sungmin should come back to super junior too! if there is something you wish to correct/disagree with under the cut, let me know nicely. we don’t have to fight, okay? let’s do this like civilised people :)

it’s known that leeteuk and heechul have acknowledged that fans would rather hear about dating/marriage news from the members themselves rather than through articles and rumours. this of course makes sense, idols who have “asked for their fans’ blessing” have seen a much better response from their fans than those who got “exposed” by dispatch/sasaengs/whatever. sure, this isn’t a blanket generalisation, but you kinda get it right? i wouldn’t want malicious rumours about someone i like getting involved with someone else, not because i am “possessive”, but because i think the relationship between an idol and their fans can be trusted so that you know, we can celebrate together and stuff.

there are also other rumours about the ‘controversy’ surrounding his marriage, but they were mostly cleared through an article on naver. you can find it here. it should be pretty accurate, because sungmin posted a link to it on his instagram as an instagram post. 

here’s something that i don’t know if it’s been cleared ; sungmin allegedly changed his signature by replacing the star he normally uses with ‘Mi’, which is a nickname for saeun (his wife). this part is really a little bit weird. i don’t think he should have done that, considering how the fan who requested for the autograph has a name that doesn’t resemble ‘Mi’ in any way or form. you can find the original post on pann here. look at it this way, you travelled all the way out and did x number of things and basically worked hard so you could meet someone you liked, and the person gave you gift, that was actually a secret message for someone else. that’s just... not right. again, anything regarding sungmin and the controversy has been grossly warped by people to the point where it is difficult to check if anything is right/wrong. correct me if you want. 

something else; sungmin’s apology letter was released ahead of his army discharge. he handwrote it and apologised for hurting fans by getting married before his enlistment. i think he missed the point. fans aren’t stupid. korean fans aren’t stupid. i believe the ones who are possessive and think they own him is a minority. but i think it’s understandable that these fans felt angered by how he handled it. he didn’t apologise for the signature and he didn’t apologise for ’sharing’ his fan gifts with his wife.

this is a difficult post to make and this part is the worst bit of it, because i’m going to share about why i felt uneasy about his marriage. i’m not saying i’m against it. i’m just. i don’t really know, i had really bad feeling about this when the news first came out. disclaimer: i do not pretend to speak for fans or for anyone at this point, this is just my personal opinion and maybe you disagree with it and that’s okay. this is how i felt about it in 2014-5 and it was a long time ago. with age comes wisdom LOL and honestly i don’t feel anything when i think about it now. 

i felt uneasy when the news broke out because of the timing of it. the timing was, quite frankly, quite terrible. there are some issues that made it worse that sungmin himself couldn’t control, but i don’t think it would have hurt to think it through a little more before releasing the news. 

sungmin confirmed he was getting married in between super shows. i don’t know what kind of impression that gives you, but i’ll be frank: it gives me the impression that he’s acting more individualistic and not putting his group activities as a priority in his life.

for international fans, this could seem like a shock to you. of course he should put his personal life first, he’s in love! he’s finally found someone he likes enough to get married, and we should support him because we want him to find happiness. that’s an opinion, and you’re entitled to it. but what we’re looking at is the confucian principles of community and society that are upheld by most of the korean community. this is a culture that mandates military enlistment laws for all males (with very few exceptions). so really, through their perspective, the outrage could be perhaps more understood. it is also important to know that when the news first broke, the general opinion ranged from congratulatory messages (that hoped for a better public opinion of idols getting married/falling in love), to speculations if it was a shotgun marriage and if saeun was pregnant. consider that sungmin had not enlisted in the military at this point. for korean men, entering the military is a rite of passage into “manhood”. it was already bad enough for idols themselves to still enlist, and fans were already dreading his enlistment. to suddenly spring the news of marriage on them? it made the timing of the whole thing even worse. what’s worse is that the fandom was trying to support them, but sungmin antis and even some of sungmin’s sasaeng’s gave false reports about the whole situation (see: rumous about the wedding, etc.). 

something to understand in korean netizen culture is that they literally live in a culture where paparazzi are so normalised and entertainment journalism literally puts out close to fifty new reports, news, and scandals out every day. on top of that, korea is notorious for their efficient, workaholic cultures that spares no time for research. imagine being bombarded with news about sungmin’s ‘misdeeds’ every week and every month. obviously your impression of him worsens. then he goes to enlist in the army, effectively disappearing, not making a statement until he nearly discharges, then going back to promote himself as per usual. you only have ten minutes a day, maximum, to see the news. you don’t have time to check for yourself on the internet what is happening. if you’re a fan, you go on twitter to check with the big fansites what is happening, and then you see that they are all quarrelling between themselves about writing petition letters. every single thing sungmin does gets uploaded as ‘breaking news’, paparazzi zoom in onto the other sujus’ “apologies” and “opinions” regarding their fellow member, and public opinion builds the impression that sungmin just doesn’t give a shit about his group. and remember! he’s literally getting married and having a honeymoon in between concerts, when the rest of the members are practising/rehearsing/working hard on TV to get more acknowledgement. gosh, sungmin really is throwing his group under the bus all for love... 

that’s a thought process i went through. i can hardly emphasise more about how this shit isn’t about me getting pressed and possessive about how he’s my oppa and he shouldn’t get married because i’m going to marry him one day. it’s not! it’s about me loving suju to the point where sungmin seems like he’s just going off on his own without caring about the group image. quite frankly if any of the sujus reveal tomorrow that they are dating someone, my response would be something like: “oh thank God!”, and if next year they say something like “y’all, we’re gonna get married”, then i would be like: “FINALLY!” because the sujus deserve nothing but happiness and i just want them to be happy after all the shit they’ve been through. [of course sungmin deserves happiness too. everyone does.]

i started rambling but... i just want to say that i really wish sungmin eased us more into it. the whole thing was aggravated because of how saeun handled it on TV also. sungmin enlisting right after was a good move, considering the damage already done. it would have given the whole thing to die down a bit, for fans to think things a little bit more through while sungmin basically removed himself from society for a bit. but while he was gone, saeun said some shit about how sungmin is really touchy and good with skinship, how sungmin drank 9 bottles of soju just to get the courage to ask her father for his blessing, and so on. that’s not right sis. why would you keep making headlines about your man when you should just lie low and wait for the hatred to pass... she then went on to like really controversial pictures, like the one where someone is slapping someone else. the slapper is labelled “international ELFs” while the one being slapped is labelled”K-ELFs”... that shit just ain’t cool bruv... obviously this started another internal fanwar, and i’m pretty sure a lot of ELFs have bad impressions of her. idk i feel like the sudden attention went to her head or something... why would you talk about alcohol... gosh...

anyway i don’t hate her or anything and i’m happy that she brings our boi happiness but i just don’t have a good impression of her... maybe she’s a really nice person IRL but you know, she’s a celebrity and we’ll never meet so i won’t pass judgement on her.

that’s... kinda it i guess? congrats if you made it all the way to the end. i just wanna rehash the point about sungmin returning to super junior. i think he should. he’s been away for long enough and i think that’s enough ‘punishment’, but i do think it would make it easier for the public to try and accept him again if the both of them just admit to what they did wrong in the past and apologise and then just move on. that shit is old as heck, i think. there’s what i think happened. lmk if i made a mistake or missed something, i wrote like 60% of this post thinking back to that time period and considering how, uh, i don’t live in korea, there might have been something i missed. the other 40% is stuff i searched online to double check, but you know. take everything that isn’t an article with a bucket of salt. lord knows how messed up everything is after those sungmin antis started spreading rumours and stuff. 

if you need a clarification about something said above, you can send me a (nice) ask and i’ll answer!

one last thing, i’m not saying what the sungmin antis did to sungmin (with regards to trying to kick him out of suju, threatening his wife, etc.) is justified by whatever i said above. i’m just saying it makes it a little bit more understandable. but it doesn’t make them entitled to such actions and i 100% believe that their actions are unjustified.

[seolhe]

I was wondering,,, why do you say the dark wife is one of the worst books you've read? I read it a few years ago, and I dont remember anything about it tbh, so I'm curious

Oh boy, where do I start? I had a lot of problems with this novel, both as a Greek myth retelling and from a writing standpoint. Now, keep in mind that I read thisabout 2 years ago, so I might be forgetting some small details here and there, but I’ll try to explain the main reasons it bugged me so much. So buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one.

Characters: All the characters are two-dimensional and poorly developed. None of them have any amount of nuance or depth.Zeus is moustache twirling villain who is evil for the sake of being evil. Hades is as good as Zeus is evil, endlessly noble and selfless and devoted. I genuinely can’t remember a single defining trait of Persephone? She’s such abland and generic protagonist, nothing really stands out about her in my memory other than her obsessive pining over Hades and hatred of Zeus. A lot of this feels like it’s pulled straight from the shallow and occasionally downright inaccurate readings of Greek myths that have become so popular in recent years, especially on places like tumblr (Zeus as an evil rapist, Hades as a pure cinnamon roll, Persephone descending willingly into the Underworld, etc.).But there are also more confusing takes on these characters, like turning chaste virgin goddess Athena into a self-centered, promiscuous lesbian (not to say that being a lesbian or being promiscuous is bad, it’s just such a strange interpretation of Athena’s character that doesn’t make any sense)And don’t even get me started on poor Charis! Charis, Persephone’s first lover in the book, exists solely to be raped and killed by Zeus. She’s fridged to show us that Zeus is BAD and giving Persephone a reason to hate him. The author’s treatment of this character is lazy and offensive. I’m sure this is something that won’t bother all readers, but as someone with a deep love for the mythology, I found the portrayal of the Greek gods franklyinsulting. Plot:“Three thousand years ago, a god told a lie.”Here we run into a big problem with the narrative. We’re told from the very prologue that the story of Hades and Persephone we’re familiar with is a lie, a narrative created by Zeus, and this is Persephone’s attempt to set the record straight.These are the first lines of our story: “I am not my mother’s daughter. I have forfeited my inheritance, my birthright. I do not possess the privilege of truth. The stories told by fires, the myth of my kidnap and my rape, are all that remain of me. Forever I will be known as the girl who was stolen away to be the wife of Hades, lord of all the dead. Andnone of it is true, or is so fragmented that the truth is nothing more than ashadow, malformed. The stories are wrong. I am not who they say I am.I am Persephone, and my story must begin with the truth.Here it is, or as close as I can tell it.”Well, this doesn’t really make any sense when, at the end of the story, Zeus is defeated and thrown into Tartarus. Why does this narrative survive into modern day when Hades and Persephone won? Why is Persephone only able to tell her story now, after thousands of years without Zeus in power? Speaking of Zeus and lies, the justification for the whole “What, Hades is awoman?!” thing really doesn’t make any sense. We’re told that Zeus calls Hades “lord” of the dead as a joke, Hades even refers to it as a “slur” in the story. The reason given for this is that Hades is only attracted to women. Well, if that’s the case, why doesn’t that same logic apply to Athena, who’salso shown to be attracted only to women? Or to Persephone for that matter? Same-sex attraction, even between women, is never shown to be frowned upon in their society, so why would Zeus single out Hades for her attraction to women? And why do all the other gods apparently go along with that “joke” to the point that Persephone literally didn’t know Hades was a woman until she meets her in person? And why, again, did this idea of Hades being a man survive into modern day? The story is constructed so poorly on so many different levels. There are so many threads that are just dropped entirely. For example:- The story starts with Demeter confidently proclaiming that Persephone will become the queen of the gods, setting up this big rivalry between her and the daughters of Hera and Aphrodite. This plot never goes anywhere, in fact, I don’t think it’s ever brought up again after the first chapter, and Demeter basically spends the rest of the book cowering before Zeus. - There’s a significant plotline about Pallas having Persephone try to deliver a message to Athena, a plotline that is unceremoniously dropped without anyresolution. After all the build-up, there’s a throwaway line about Pallas giving the note to Persephone right before the big showdown with Zeus, and that’s the last we hear of it. We never see it delivered, we don’t get to see Athena’s reaction to it, we don’t know how this impacts Pallas, if at all. In fact, Pallas basically doesn’t show up at all after this point. Then there’s the main conflict of the story: Zeus wants Persephone, and as we’re told over and over and over, Zeus always gets what he wants (the author really beats this into our heads). We’re never really given any motivation for any of Zeus’ actions, so this conflict feels weak and contrived. It doesn’t help that we get so much build-up for what a terrible threat he is, and then Persephone defeats Zeus, the most powerful god, feared by all, in like… two pages? It’s such a weak and anticlimactic end to the story.

There was also some sort of convoluted plan concocted by Zeus to, idk, have the dead rise up and overthrow Hades? For some reason? Again, we never get any clear motivation from Zeus. As far as I can remember, we’re never told why he hates Hades so much, or why he wants to overthrow her. I don’t even remember if the author explained what Zeus was going to do with the Underworld without Hades there to rule. I’m sorry, I genuinely can’t even remember the details, but it was just reallybadly set up and, once again, easily solved in a few pages.And that’s really the main problem with the story, everything is so easily solved. Our good guys all get happily ever afters with no sacrifices and no consequences for anything, and there’s always a quick and easy solution to any threat or conflict. Mythology:So how does it hold up as a Hades and Persephone retelling?Well, not great, imho. A lot of classical elements are incorporated into this retelling, but they’re stripped of any meaning or importance to the plot. The pomegranate? It’s there at their wedding, but it never figures into the greater narrative.Demeter causing famine by bringing infertility to the fields? She does freeze the world in this story, threatening everlasting winter, but unlike in the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, it’s not an act of agency on her part, refusing to submit to the will of Zeus and fighting to be reunited with her daughter. Nah. She’s just being manipulated by Zeus and it’s used as a cheap reason to tear our lovers apart.And somehow, I don’t even know why seeing as it doesn’t tie into Demeter freezing the earth or Persephone eating the seeds of the pomegranate, butPersephone is still forced to spend half the year on earth and half in theUnderworld.In the epilogue, we see her in modern day New York*, acting as psychopomp (for some reason???), happily guiding the souls to the afterlife, which we’re told is her duty for the half of the year she spends above ground. I’m just so confused as to what the author was even going for here. Where did this come from? It doesn’t originate in the original myths, but it’s also not explained (as far as I can remember) in the book.*This isn’t a problem with the book per se, and it’s 100% a matter oftaste, but I personally really dislike it when mythological figures appearin a modern setting, especially when the author has to put them in anAmerican setting rather than the geographical location of their origin, whetherthat’s Greece or Egypt or Scandinavia or what have you. Romance: Hades and Persephone are destined soulmates and instantly fall in love pretty much the moment they first set eyes on each other, which doesn’t allow for any growth or progression of their relationship. They’re instantly deeply and madly in love with each other and their feelings never change over the span of the story. They spend most of their time together staring lovingly into each others eyes and when they’re separated for literally 3 days Persephone basically spends her entire days languishing in despair.It’s ridiculously melodramatic and cheesy, which again, personal taste thing,I’m just really not into. Other writing issues: - The worldbuilding is pretty much non-existent. The story doesn’t feel grounded in any particular time period or cultural context, and you never get any sense of the setting, or how the world works and what this society is like.  - The pacing was really poor, either dragging or exploding into rushed action. - A lot of page time is spent on describing things that doesn’t really further the plot or has any thematic relevance. One example would be the garden of metal and precious stones Hades made for Persephone. It’s cool I guess? But what purpose does it serve? We also waste a lot of time which could be better used developing the characters or moving the plot forward on watching Persephone play with puppy Cerberus or petting Hades’ horses (see poor pacing). - There’s a lot of talk about Persephone having some sort of grand destiny, and that her actions have been prophesized. This is never properly explained and it only serves to weaken Persephone’s story arc, stripping her of agency by implying that she doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. Prophecy and destiny are story elements that have to be handled delicately and are easy to screw up, and they’re just dealt with so clumsily here.  - Also the writing was just… not very good.I’m sure there are more things I could dig up and complain about, but I feel like this is probably too long and rambly already, so I’ll stop here.

Obligatory disclaimer:This is obviously just my personal opinion. There are a lot of people who love this book (going by Goodreads ratings, I am clearly in the minority) and I am genuinely happy for them! I also mean no disrespect to the author who seems like a genuinely lovely person. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: are you alright? Jac: Not particularly Jude: talk to me then Jac: No offense Jac: but that really isn't going to make me feel better Jude: so do it to make me feel better Jac: What do you want, Jude? Jude: idk Jude: everyone's talking but they're not saying stuff that makes sense Jac: No one knows what they're talking about Jac: they should try minding their business Jude: bit unlikely Jac: I'm not going to give you anything more to report back Jac: I've said all I know already Jude: oi! I ain't running a story for the school paper or owt like that Jude: I'm about the angle whereby you're my sister and I've known your mates for time Jude: it's personal, like Jac: It happened to Is Jac: not me, not you Jac: we can't sit around making it about us, it's not productive Jude: productive? Jac: Don't start Jude: can we get to a place where you tell me what's going on with Izzy or what? Jac: I don't know Jac: some lad creeped on her at the party last night and now her mum is on a mission about it Jude: she's your best mate, how're you not camped out on her front garden?! Jac: Oh great, make me feel bad Jac: she doesn't want to talk, I'm not going to force my presence upon her to make myself, or any of the rest of you, feel better Jude: she needs you, not her ma, what's that woman gonna do? what does she get about anything? Jac: What do you think I'm gonna do Jac: for goodness sake Jude: fuck all if you ain't there Jac: There's nothing to be done Jac: it's happened Jude: that's cold Jude: there's like comfort you could give her Jude: you could be someone that listens to her, if her ma's on such a mission Jac: Like I said, you know nothing Jac: that's all very well you proposing all these nice ideas but I told you, she doesn't want to talk Jac: so this is a pointless conversation Jude: like you heard me say, why aren't you there waiting on her for when she does? Jac: I'm not sitting outside her door Jac: I don't know what you're getting at, to be honest Jude: she'd do it for you Jude: you know that Jac: You're far too concerned with hypotheticals Jac: Like I said, I'm actually trying to be productive here Jude: nah, you're looking out for yourself Jude: being a shitty mate in the process Jac: Fine Jac: happy now? Jude: yeah that's proper cheered me up Jude: ffs Jac: Frankly, you're the least of my worries right now Jac: and that apparently suits you fine so Jac: if we're done here Jude: are you gonna keep replying like this is a business email? Jac: I've got nothing to say Jac: that I haven't already Jude: you've said nowt to me Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: I've got stuff to do Jude: what stuff? Jac: Talk to Sav, everyone else who was there Jac: see what they know Jude: it was her boyfriend's house, yeah? that bit's true? Jac: Yes Jac: it was just a normal house party Jude: did he invite that lad or did he gatecrash? Jac: He was invited Jac: he went to our school, everyone knows him Jude: do you? Jac: Yeah Jac: obviously Jude: if it's who I heard it was then I reckon I do too Jac: Who did you hear it was? Jude: Carter Murphy Jude: he used to be a massive deal far as winning shit for the basketball team but that's not why I know him Jac: I'm not going to confirm or deny Jac: not going to spread the rumours when it's already running rampant Jude: spreading rumours ain't what I'm about either, tah very much Jac: I just meant I'm not saying either way Jude: And I'm just saying if it was him I never reckoned there was anything that off about him Jude: no more than any other older lad who chats to me at parties Jude: wondering if I should've Jac: I don't know Jac: maybe there isn't Jude: but it's not like he'd be rocking a sign saying 'top at beer pong and banter but might force himself on you' at any rate Jac: Well yeah Jac: there's two sides to every story Jude: hang on, you're saying Izzy is lying? Jac: No, I'm saying it's impossible to ever know for definite in these situations Jude: it shouldn't be impossible to take her word for it, unless you've got a reason not to Jac: its hers against his Jude: why would she say he forced her if he didn't? Jude: her ma ain't THAT strict Jac: She was drunk Jac: you know you can think a thing happened one way that isn't necessarily how it was or how the other person saw it Jude: Yeah Jude: but this is a bit different from me getting pissed off at my mates for none of 'em catching me when I thought I'd told 'em I was gonna jump and I'd never Jac: I can have personal opinions Jac: it's not as if I'm talking to anyone or doing anything with it Jac: if her ma wants to take it legal then that's for her to decide Jude: I dunno, maybe you're right Jude: legally, it is her word against his Jude: add in the drink, even if she didn't have that much, it's bollocks but it's bollocks they'd still use Jac: Everyone knows it's pointless going to the police Jac: regardless if it happened or not Jac: don't need to know exact prosecution rates to know it's a waste of time Jude: poor Izzy Jude: whatever happened, everyone's gonna have a personal opinion Jude: and they'll put it about more than you Jac: It's shit Jac: it'd be a better use of time finding a decent counselor Jude: you could tell her that when she's talking to you again Jac: Yeah well Jac: maybe everyone needs to stop trying to tell her what to do Jude: alright, fair Jude: I didn't need to go off on you either Jude: my bad Jac: You aren't the first Jac: don't worry about it Jude: I am though Jude: I don't wanna go out, I don't want you to go out Jac: Come on, don't be stupid Jac: it's not as if there's a maniac on the loose Jac: a boy pushed his luck at a party, it's nothing new, nothing to be scared of Jude: a lad I reckoned was alright Jude: like I said, nobody's got a sign on Jude: everything's gone weird now Jac: People can't be trusted Jac: if you've been going around thinking they can, you're lucky nothing bad has happened to you Jude: some people Jude: you trust Sav, don't you? Jac: I know her Jac: properly Jac: she isn't some random at parties Jude: you didn't know her from birth, like Jac: nothing is ever airtight Jac: obviously Jac: but if she was anything close to what that lad was, it'd be out by now Jude: but if you knew what that lad was like why did you let Izzy go off with him? Jac: Who said I did? Jac: not trusting people as a default doesn't mean I know they aren't to be Jude: well yeah Jac: If she wants to go off with a lad, it's not my place to stop her Jac: or do a background check before she does Jude: would you let me? Jac: We would never be at the same party Jude: I'd never be at one of Sav's Jude: she's at like a 4/10 at this point Jac: I don't care what you think Jude: bit rude Jac: You are Jac: this conversation has nothing to do with her Jude: why are you being so touchy about her? Jac: because this conversation was already close to pointless so I don't need it to get any further off track Jude: I'm bringing some normality back to it Jac: I don't have time for this, seriously Jude: my bad, AGAIN Jude: come on Jac: I'm sick of it Jac: I don't want to talk about this anymore Jude: I know but it's shit when we don't talk Jac: Well Jac: there's not much else going on with me today so Jude: is there owt I can DO then? Jude: dad's camped by the kettle already, like Jac: Keep them busy Jac: I need to go somewhere Jude: no challenge in that Jude: are you going to see Sav? Jac: Tah Jac: yeah, might take a while Jude: is she alright? Jac: No, she's really upset Jac: and her family are driving her crazy Jude: I have just the thing up my sleeve to keep ours busy for time Jude: on you go Jac: Good Jac: in a bit Jude: later then Jude: [skip skip skip] Jude: is Sav still upset? Jude: cos mum and dad are driving me crazy now Jude: they're FUMING 😡🤬 Jac: It's safe to say we're past the point of you needed to distract them Jude: I've got a good work ethic Jude: if a job's worth doing Jac: Very impressive, like Jude: tah, makes one of us Jude: meant to chuck your phone 🚮 you rookie Jac: I have Jac: check the IP address if you really fancy it Jude: 🤓 Jude: how long you gonna take the piss for? Jac: It's not about that Jude: what's it about then? Jac: having time and space Jude: everyone's saying Sav broke up with her boyfriend cos of what happened to Izzy Jude: if she's chucked her phone too she won't know Jac: She broke up with him before then Jac: you can spread that if you wanna Jude: it's nowt to do with me, just saying in case you wanna warn her Jac: Well she's not there to have to listen Jac: if people are tarring Tyler with the same brush as Carter, it'd be the decent thing to do to put that out there Jude: you can't stay away forever Jude: but alright, cos they're saying bad shit about him and all his mates and I don't fuck with that Jac: People might learn to keep quiet if they realize they could be next Jude: bit unlikely Jac: not really Jac: Ty and his friends are popular Jude: not right now Jac: that's my point Jude: yeah I got that Jude: nobody thinks any of this bollocks is gonna land at their feet, that's mine Jude: everyone wants to be special, untouchable and so on Jude: 👑✨ Jac: well if the ⭐s ain't then no one is Jude: I'm here for that, fuck cliques, this ain't America Jac: Unlikely Jude: 🙄😏 Jac: I'm serious Jac: I don't care what anyone at that school thinks now Jude: you don't, your best mate might Jac: She doesn't Jac: it's way below where our concerns are Jac: or have ever been Jude: he's her well recent ex Jude: everyone knows she loved him Jac: Like I said, you can defend his innocence Jac: She dumped him Jude: alright Jude: you ain't found time or space to be less touchy, I get it Jac: I clearly don't want to talk Jac: take the hint Jude: nah Jac: Jesus Jude: you don't get to just do one so easily, take that hint Jac: well I have Jac: and I can log off any time I want Jude: this isn't how you handle shit, anyone with a clue would put money on me legging it before you Jac: then, again, you'd all be wrong Jude: it was all her idea, yeah? Jude: if her family are that relentless you know they'd let her stay Jude: it doesn't have to be some checked in to heartbreak hotel moment Jac: No, it was mine Jac: I don't want to be there Jac: I don't know how you don't get that Jude: nobody wants any of this to be happening but it is Jude: it was you who told me to face up to the fact, how long ago, like? Jac: And I told you, I had things to do Jac: This has little to nothing to do with Isabelle Jude: ❌ running off into the sunset with Savannah off your list then Jude: you ain't missed a day of school in such a properly long time that my mates had that bet running for ages and all lost, remember? Jude: you're the weirdo that goes in 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮🤧💀👻 Jac: Some things are more important Jude: what's so important you need a room with an expensive view to do it in? Jac: Staying sane Jac: not being around to listen to that bullshit and worse Jude: it'll be here when you have to come back Jude: be my sister and pull the 🩹 off Jude: none of this is Jac behaviour Jac: Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought Jude: if in your own words this has nowt to do with Izzy, it's nowt you can't handle Jude: things were bad when you fell out with Mills, you stayed sane and around for that Jac: She didn't get assaulted by nobody Jude: it wasn't your fault that Izzy did Jac: That's not how it feels Jac: or what everyone will say Jude: nobody's saying it and I'd stop it if they were Jac: I'm sick of being treated like I did something wrong Jude: massive dickheads are the only ones who'd try and 1. I'm not gonna let 'em 2. you don't care what people like that think Jude: you're stronger and braver than their bullshit Jac: It's all of you Jac: asking so many questions Jac: Sav's parents want to lock her up Jude: it's mum and dad's job to worry and lay the law down, like Jude: I could've done better with it, alright, I know Jude: but if you reckon Sav's parents are headcases now, leaving it even longer ain't a decent plan Jude: you're the family genius, come on Jac: You worry them, they start to listen Jac: instead of saying how it is and how it's going to be Jude: you're the oldest, everyone knows what that means Jac: We aren't coming back until this calms down and they're willing to be reasonable Jac: that's that Jude: running away don't calm down anything 💥🔥🌪 Jac: Then we won't be coming back any time soon Jac: they're the adults and that's what they need to be about this Jude: what about school? Jac: It doesn't matter Jac: it's not like we have exams or anything soon Jude: school's what mattered most to you since you started going 🤓 Jac: So, I'm smarter than everyone else Jac: I don't need to worry about falling behind Jude: it IS you! Jude: I'm not just talking to a drifter wearing your skin Jac: 🙄 Jude: 😜 Jac: You're an idiot Jude: you'll miss me when you've had your time and space Jac: Unlikely Jude: 💔🥶 Jude: give Sav my love cos she'll 100% miss me Jac: Hilarious Jude: I'll be here all week 🤣🎤 Jac: Sorry to hear that, like Jude: I'll live, like Jac: Would you like me to 💔? Jude: don't fake owt for me Jude: rarely works out Jac: So I hear Jude: well those of us who ain't in the top % have books to read and not like, doodle all over or make planes out of Jude: ✌️😝 Jude: you know where I'LL be if you need ME, we're only fucked on the vice versa Jac: I'd like to say that was a nice try Jude: me too but Jac: Piss poor is more like it Jude: 🥉 Jude: [skip skip skip again] Jude: I can't knock all night, our dear brother will throw his other 👟 at me Jude: you're scaring me Jude: use some big words I can't get my head round Jac: Leave Jude: Jac Jac: No Jude: what happened? Jac: Nothing Jude: something has cos you weren't this person, like, a day ago Jude: and you said you weren't coming back for ages Jac: Here I am Jude: where's Savannah? Jude: you know I'll ask her Jac: No you won't Jude: use a full sentence then Jac: Do not talk to her Jude: why won't you talk to me? Jude: what could be this bad? Jac: Just go Jac: please Jude: I'll be back tomorrow Jude: 🩹 yeah? Jude: longer you leave it Jac: Don't bother Jude: I ain't about to ignore the state you're in Jude: how did she hurt you? Jac: She didn't do anything Jude: who else did? Jac: No one Jude: Then what? Jac: I'm fine Jude: bollocks! Jac: I am Jude: nah Jude: you came in looking like you'd seen a 👻 Jac: don't want to be here Jude: did you and Sav have a fight or what? cos I don't get why you're back if you don't wanna be Jac: she had to come back Jude: do you want me to give her a ring? get her over? Jac: no Jude: you ARE mad at her then Jac: I'm not Jude: if you ain't 🗨 it's cos you're face-to-face Jude: something's off Jude: don't need to be the family genius, like Jac: she's not done anything Jude: have you? Jac: [does not reply] Jude: you can tell me Jude: I'll help you hide her body Jac: Shut up Jude: you talk and I'll listen Jude: what did you do? Jac: I can't Jude: whatever it is, it won't be as bad as it feels right now Jude: she's your best friend, she'll come back round to that Jude: she just needs to be dramatic for a bit Jac: You have no clue Jude: clue me in then Jac: I don't want to Jac: this is my business Jac: what part of this don't you get, just stop it Jude: alright Jude: you still know where I am Jac: 👍

[radiance1]

*AHEM*

now I love this and Danny destroying the world? Hm yes great angst for later.

But also my brain can't help but feel that, would Danny destroy the world? No, no I don't think he will.

Since his obsession is protection and being a hero and all, and since it's impossible to go against their obsession(at least I think?)

I don't think Danny would actively try and destroy the world, not adding his own sense of justice as well, since the people on earth had nothing to do with it.

Now the Justice League however...

Yea there're fair game.

You can say that after what they did they did, he would maybe see them as villains? idk but who cares.

*AHEM*

Now to go and make some stuff.

-

Batman's relationship -due to recent developments- with the Justice League has become strained as of late.(Not counting Superman and Wonder Woman)

He isn't seen as much around the Watchtower unless there's a meeting that requires the all of them present, or when the Bat computer can't handle whatever he needs it in(which in itself is very rare).

Even when Superman and Wonder Woman got him into the Watchtower, -aside from the time he sat everyone down and berated them about the dangers of plugging something that powered a super weapon into something as vital as the Watchtower, or anything at all actually- he ignores everyone unless their needed for a mission.

All his focus went into safely studying, ensuring it's safety, making sure to not accidently plug it in somewhere and making sure the core gets the energy it needs to fully heal.

Batman is incredibly stressed over the fact that a child was plugged into his Watchtower and used as a power house. If he never left this wouldn't have happened. Hell if he responded faster and knew about the villain beforehand, none of this would have happened.

If only he was better.

This whole situation could have been avoided and a child wouldn't have been caught in the crossfire and almost killed.

He doesn't have time to fully educate the justice league. But when he's done he will make sure they learn.

And he has a bone to pick with Martian Manhunter. He heard the child was screaming, he knew what was happening, and yet he did nothing.

And sure, maybe his reaction is unfair to the alien. But fuck that. He will make sure the alien knows to inform him whenever he hears fucking screaming in Batman's Watchtower.

For now, he just needs to do damage control and make sure the child can get out of this alive.

-

Welp that's Batman's part :D. I dunno if this is ooc but Bruce's parental instincts is going into overdrive and muddling his logic regarding the Justice League right now.

-

Danny doesn't know what's going on. The Justice League, he thought- he thought they were hero's. But they hurt him, they hurt him and they knew he was hurting. He screamed from for long, Martian Manhunter heard him, he was sure of it.

He told other League members. But they didn't.take.him.out.

They ignored him. They connected him to this, Watchtower and it took way more than the villain's super weapon.

And it hurt.

It hurt so much.

What did he do to deserve this. He didn't do anything wrong, he didn't want to serve the villain. But he was forced to. Why can't they see that. Why aren't they helping him.

He's hurting.

And their doing nothing.

But then suddenly.

It stopped.

He didn't know why.

Why know.

Why after so long.

Why take him out after hurting him for so long?

He doesn't know, and frankly? He doesn't care. He just wants to sleep.

*Few days later*

The first time Danny woke up he felt...nice.

He wasn't being hurt anymore, actually, he feels quite comfortable.

He doesn't have enough energy to form his body but, if this continues he would be able to form after a few weeks. He thinks at least.

-

Batman doesn't know if they child can hear him. Or if the child is even conscious at all. But...

"I am sorry." He says. "I'm sorry that this happened to you, if I was faster, none of this would have happened to you."

Batman doesn't care if his apology falls on deaths door. And he knows he doesn't deserve this child's forgiveness. But the least he can is...

"Child. I will keep you safe"

I have

a

thing

So so

Ghost Cores

right?

Now now

Hear me out

What if

They could be used to power things

and how much power something gets from a ghost depends on their strength.

It doesn't really cause harm persay. But it does make the ghost powerless, based on much power was taken, it could either be a short time or a long time.

so some villain that's threatening the earth wants a ghost core to power their world ending machine or magic item.

Here comes Danny.

Because what's stronger than the ghost king?

So the do the necessary ritual to summon, and this time they aren't a fucking idiot.

And actually managed to bind Danny into their servitude.

And they made Danny retreat into his core and stuff.

Now normally

Being used as a power source wouldn't really harm ghosts. More so just leave them without energy.

But here's the thing.

Danny's Half-Human.

So what this means is that it causes him great pain while he's being used as a powersource.

Cause it's taking anything that is viable as an energy source. Which normally it would only take ectoplasm, but since Danny's half-human.

It starts taking a lot more than just ectoplasm from his ghost half. Like blood, body parts, et cetera.

Now the Justice Leagues catch wind of this villain preparing to end/take control of the world, and that he managed to bind the ghost king to him.

So JL goes to combat the villain.

And while Martian Manhunter was passing on physic links to keep in contact incase the comms stopped working at somepoint.

And while doing so he accidently stumbles upon a mind not of the JL and decides to connect.

And what does he hear?

Screaming

Blood curling, anguished and extremely pain filled screams.

And what makes this even worse.

It's that it's the screams of a child.

Dude holy fuck.

I- dude I have no way to add onto this because it’s pure perfection but if anyone else does for the love of god please tag me in it.

[kkulmoon]

Ahaha i spoke too soon about no family gathering.... we having one rn as i type this for american thanksgiving. And quite frankly, beside my friend and my mom I have no one to say thanks for, and maybe a little of my dad but idk he finds things to curse and insult me everyday LOL I applied to 8 universities and theyre all relatively far away so hopefully i won't have to put up with this for much longer cuz I'll have an excuse to not come back during holiday. I'm so sorry for dumping this on you, i'm quite upset about a lot of things that involve my family rn and my grade is dropping so i just wanna vent a little.

I'mma miss my mom home cooking when i move away tho, cuz she's make amazing Viet foods that are basically my comfort foods 😂

ANYWAY JOONIE!! SOMETHING MORE HAPPY!! the man is getting more and more swole everyday 😤😍 and JUNGKOOK IN THE RECENT GROUP VLIVE!!! HIS HAIR!!!! he's coming for us all istg ✊😔😣 i'm about to change from med to law major just so i can sue them. Everyday i wake up to suffer cuz kpop bois exist 😩😒

I'm glad to see you're feeling better!! And today question is...

Describe your perfect day! What would it look like? And if you want... what would your perfect date look like? -Valley's Lilies

AHHHHHHHHHHH really random but goddd do I cherish you so much, waking up to your asks is one the few good things that I got going for me right now 🤧💕 never ever apologize for venting in my inbox, not only is it welcomed but I am glad you feel comfortable enough to share things with me 🥺sorry you had to deal with that ;((( but you know who matters to you and who you’re grateful for so I hope you at least got the opportunity to give thanks to them and that’s what matters... and yes you will hopefully soon be able to leave all of that behind you, when do you guys get the answers for you uni applications??

oh man i can imagine, there’s really nothing like eating food made by your mom, idk it’s really weird but it can NEVER taste bad 😩i’m planning to move out soon, so i’ve been trying to get her to teach me some more things just so i can attempt to replicate her cooking by myself 😭😭😭watch me move back home because of food 🤡 ooohh viet food 👀i have never tasted it before, what’s your favourite viet dish?

joon is hulking up at the speed of light and for every day that goes by i’m fearing what i’ll get to see next 😭😭😭 I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIS WEVERSE PICS!!!! (i’m already foaming at the mouth) we don’t talk about jungkook’s behaviour in this house, my brain just doesn’t work when it comes to him, why did the boi turn 23?? i just need him to remain cute cause i can’t handle one more bias 😣and that damned undercut 🥴if u change major then i’m becoming your prime witness lol

my perfect day involves me doing whatever it is that i feel like doing... i can plan my days when it’s needed but i prefer having it free so i can do whatever, so for me a perfect day would be one where i have 0 responsibilities to tend to and can do whatever whenever. 

as for a dates i don’t really know 🤔i haven’t gone to many dates myself but the ones i’ve enjoyed the most have involved some sort of chill activity, cause like i get very jittery rip and cannot sit still just looking at the person so i need to do something with my hands and have something else to look at 😭😭😭 

i had one bowling date that i really liked, it was a good balance between movement and staying still lksjdkdjkdl, what about you? what does the perfect day/date look like?

hope you’re staying healthy and taking care of yourself hun mwuah 😘