#fragments of an idea

[perplexingluciddreams]

I have a whole list of things I want to write about. Always I feel like I am only just keeping on top of basic body needs, plus the constant dysregulation. I am constantly brain overfull, no capacity left. And with every skill I lose, it gets harder.

I also have a list of edits I want to make to new AAC (mainly words I want to add, but a few notes on how to rearrange). It takes a lot of energy to make edits on this AAC, the settings are complicated and new. And physically takes strength to lift arms a lot, and fine motor control to tap tiny tiny places on screen.

I hope for more days where I have more brain space and more calm and more can control body. So I can write more things I want to write. And make edits on AAC so I can use it more to help write!

And hope for feel less dysregulated so I can properly rest my body when it is tired and sore, not just swing swing swing, to try and stay closest to calm as possible.

AAC can be so helpful for words and writing, but only if it works right for me. There is so many aspects that go into making AAC work for me, it is hard to make it fit perfectly. But I am working on it slowly.

Supercore 50 is already closest fit to perfect that I find so far (out of all options that I know about)! And I currently work on WordPower 100 to make visually better - I want to learn it for with keyguard. I really really try.

I just have so much in my head is abstract and fragments and cannot get out with words. Frustrating. I want to write!!!

[citrusbugz]

Where it all begins...

[calware]

rose lalonde, age 8: what did she mean by this. what mind games is she playing

rose lalonde, age 13: oh.

[philosophybits]

Think new things every day.

Democritus, Fragments, B158

[feral-ballad]

Idea Vilariño, tr. by Jesse Lee Kercheval, from Poemas de amor / Love Poems; "The Witness"

[Text: "I don't ask you for anything / don't accept anything from you. / It's enough that you are / in the world / that you know I am / in the world"]

[da-cti]

My attempt at a John design :]c

[agentc0rn]

Found a really cool trend from twitter that I wanted to share on here, basically has to do with form changes in relation to the abilities of each pokemon! I thought of going with Volcarona as it is one of my favs. The Flame Body ability was pretty straightforward to work with, which I made Volcarona's body entirely in flames except for its thorax and little mandibles.

I had more difficulty with the swarm, but decided to add more wings to give off an illusion of sorts, more so a mimicry of the swarm movement (alternatively, they reflect the solar flares). I added small random moths cuddling Volcarona, joined with hovering yellow ones that were allured by its warmth and light (moths like warm places!)

Had tons of fun with this :)

Thank you and credits to @n0rtist for the wonderful idea/trend!

Original post: https://www.tumblr.com/n0rtist/752603925067268096?source=share

[2aceofspades]

Ohh #25 leo and raph :0

I love these things hehe

25.) "I know you have no reason to trust me. But please... I'm asking you to anyway."

TW: Eye Strain/Bright Colors, Blood/Injury

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Thank you for your submission! 🙌🙌

(:

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

forever thinking about how the long quiet embracing their full divinity involves The Voices coming back. like yeah being plural is basically the same thing as being a godi'll cosign that

[autumnwhistles]

(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)

grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.

in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.

cut to wild life.

this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.

and yet:

"I'm going to have to kill Joel"

"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"

because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.

there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.

(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)

[luthienne]

Hiiii I was wondering, is your tag "of hope to bite on like a bullet" from something or a phrase you came up with? I love that phrase so much I almost wanna get a tattoo inspired by it

hi <3 it's from mary oliver's "aunt elsie's night music" (new & selected poems: volume one)

“Maybe this is what love is, / And always will be, all my life. // Whispering, / I give her an inch of hope // To bite on, like a bullet.”

[perplexingluciddreams]

I would love to collect BBC Merlin / Katie McGrath related things... it is such a strong special interest since a very young age (age 7, when I first watched BBC Merlin. I distinctly remember watching the first episode for the first time!). I always come back to it, it is the biggest comfort to me!

I can rewatch again and again and again, and not get tired or bored of it. I can think about it for hours and hours on end, nothing else crossing my mind. I couldn't even begin to count the number of hours in my life I have spent completely dedicated to Think About Merlin™️.

I was always enamoured by Katie McGrath, and loved the character of Morgana. I think this TV programme was really good for helping me develop understanding of other people's actions, even negative or harmful ones. I loved Morgana from the very beginning of the programme, so even when she "went evil" I still wanted to be on her side and understand her perspective. Yet I still had to look at the situation objectively and see what is right and wrong, what is kind or unkind, etc.

I still struggle with understanding different perspectives, and even remembering that others have their own thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc. And that others don't automatically think the same as me (when I remember that they can think), or know what is in my head (by osmosis?). But I definitely would have more of a struggle if it wasn't for this special interest developing at the age that it did.

Special interests are so important to me, not only because of the emotional importance, but also because I learn things through it. It can be used as a vehicle to teach me new concepts and skills, things that I might be completely unable to grasp without the special interest. It gives me a context that my brain already connects with, and a motivation that would not exist otherwise.

Because my special interest(s) consume so much of my brain space and thought capacity, so much of the time, they shape how I see and think about anything else. A special interest is the lens through which I view everything.

[multiplesillylittleguys]

*sigh* pk;m new

[cybertron-after-dark]

Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.

And man. They do it a LOT.

[philosophybits]

In order to write well about something, one shouldn't be interested in it any longer. To express an idea with due circumspection, one must have relegated it wholly to one's past; one must no longer be preoccupied with it. As long as the artist is in the process of discovery and inspiration, he is in a state which, as far as communication is concerned, is at the very least intolerant.

Friedrich Schlegel, Critical Fragments

[feral-ballad]

Idea Vilariño, tr. by Louise B. Popkin, from These Are Not Sweet Girls: Poetry by Latin American Women; "No"

[Text ID: "I shouldn't write this / shouldn't sit here / suffering / feeling / the horror of the void / letting myself / this / become vertigo / nausea. / I really should look away / really should laugh it off / once and for all / let it be."]