#fox/palpatine

[darka-3363]

A Star Wars fic where, due to a clerical error, Obi-Wan Kenobi is sent to supervise the Coruscant Guard for two weeks while he heals his broken arm, instead of being sent to some other planet to negotiate a cease-fire.

Suddenly, Commander Fox understands why Cody likes his general so much. The man is ruthlessly efficient, and bitches about natborn politicians as if he'd been in the guard this whole time.

Meanwhile Palpatine has conniptions because Obi-Wan is on his No Senate Meeting List, because he actually can understand all that's being said and then is able to translate it into simpler words, which is so not bueno for Sheev. He wants people to be more confused, not less.

[writersglock]

Palpatine: Sneezes

Fox, hiding in his vents, aiming a sniper through the slats: Bless you.

Palpatine, looking up: God?

Fox, cocking the sniper: You won't be seeing him where your going.

[motherofoompaloompas]

Memes that have definitely been sent to the Corries' group chat

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7, Pt 8, Pt 9, Pt 10

[phantasm-echo]

Cue Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead

RIP fives you will be dearly missed (whether you come back from the dead to become an inquisitor or not)

+ doodles to lighten the mood ig

[st4r-t3ars]

If it can’t see me, I’m not there

[terapsina]

Please explain your reasoning in the tags and may the Force be with you.

[gamelpar]

there are few things more powerful than the 15+ cups of caf Fox lives on every day

[ominouspuff]

Corrie guard mood board

[cc-cobalt-1043]

Thorn: Fox we have new orders

Fox: *exhausted after going 2 whole weeks running on solely caf and spite* I'm too kriffing tired Thorn

Thorn: it's order 65

Fox:

[1-800-crscnt]

actually really enjoying the idea of Palpatine not caring at all about what Fox does besides his actual job (so having a more or less normal if not annoying relationship) and occasionally hearing those outlandish rumors the other Guardsmen start for fun. Fox will be going over some last minute security detail changes for an important visitor, and Palpatine would just take a quick peek inside of his mind and hears “I should tell my men to stop telling the others that I kidnap and dangle people over acid tanks if they wander too far from streetlamps” and he does not bring this up. ever. of course he would figure out this stuff is not true, but it would be funnier if he thought it was for some reason, and secretly tolerated Fox a little more than usual because of it.

[cc1010fox]

Thire: So...you just...screamed...? Fox: It just...came out of me... Thire: Out of nowhere? Fox: I wouldn't say that...I feel like I was holding that in for half of my life...and it just...came out... Thire: Huh... Fox: Sheev was listing my tasks for the next tenday, and I just... Thire: Literally scared him to death... Fox, standing over Palpatine's body: Yeah... Thire: So...we're going to say he just had a heart attack, right? Fox: Please. Thire: Don't worry, vod. I'll convince his guards to change their story, for Palpatine's sake. Fox: That might work... Thire, laying a hand on his shoulder: Do you feel better? Fox: I feel...oddly relieved... Thire: Don't get too comfortable. Until the Senate figures out how to handle this, there's only one person who can keep this place running. Fox, panicked: I-I murdered him! Take me to prison! Thire, laughing: Nice try, Chancellor.

[twinterrors29]

one day, Cody embarrasses himself in front of his General badly enough that he decides the only solution is to fake his death, forcing everyone else in the battalion to refer to him as Commander Colby, Commander Cody's 'replacement'

little does he know that Obi-Wan can tell that Cody isn't really dead, but is just too polite to bring it up with Commander 'Colby' even though he doesn't quite understand why his Commander felt the need to go through this masquerade

until he accidentally reveals his knowledge a month later by accidentally referring to his 'new' Commander as Cody, then immediately recognizing his faux pas and apologizing profusely for 'dead-naming' his Commander

'Colby' is so mortified that his scheme was seen through that he immediately fakes his death again and returns as the miraculously-revived Cody, and swears everyone to secrecy about the matter

which, of course, means that the entire GAR knows about the incident within a standard week

while Rex is busy making sure that Cody never lives this down, Fox decides that the idea is genius and decides to replicate it himself on Coruscant whenever he thinks a Senator is starting to get too familiar with him

this is why there's so many different named Coruscant Guard Commanders: it's all Fox all the way down

the Chancellor is baffled by this, but can't let on that he's noticed Fox's charade without risking revealing that he can tell all of the 'different Commanders' he interacts with are the same man using the Force, so he is forced to play along

[writersglock]

Commander Fox: If I had a blaster with two blaster bolts, and I was in a room with Pong Krell, Count Dooku, and the Emperor. I would shoot the Emperor twice.

Palpatine, leans towards Mas Amedda: Can we seriously not get rid of this clone?

Mas Amedda: He's the only one who knows how to file our taxes...

[motherofoompaloompas]

Some more memes that have been sent to the corrie group chat

pt 1

[phantasm-echo]

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY EVERYONE!!! For this special occasion (and the release of tales of the empire) I’m bringing back inquisitor fives hehehehe

[grandkhan221b]

Still on my clone wars bullshit