#found this written in my notes app for some reason so here you go

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

A number of my problems with the writing in Ted Lasso come to down what I'm calling the assigned story problem: the main characters all have their own arcs and themes related to those arcs — which is a good thing — but those themes or messages are often undermined because they only seem to apply to that character.

The example I've probably seen talked about most often is with Jamie's accountability arc and how the writers are very inconsistent about applying those same ideas to other characters: Roy apologizes to Keeley and Nate apologizes to Colin, but Colin and Isaac don't apologize to Nate, Rebecca doesn't take responsibility for sending Jamie back to Manchester, and neither does Ted for bringing Jamie back to Richmond after promising Sam he wouldn't.

Similarly, in a supporting cast that includes a number of POC, Sam is the only one who has plotlines about racism and the experience of being a visible minority — when he has his outburst about being held to unreasonable standards by the fans, there's no opportunity for the other Black players (including Isaac, who he's talking to in that scene) to share their own, presumably similar, experiences. Speaking of Isaac, the fact that he's a Black man would affect how something like him climbing into the stands in 3x09 is perceived, just like the fact that they're South Asian would affect how Nate and Shandy navigate their own chosen professions — but while there are some moments you can read into, I never got the impression that this was something that the writers actively considered while writing their story arcs.

[hauntedestheart]

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I reach for my phone. I've seen a lot of articles say that doing this is supposed to be bad for you, you're supposed to limit your screen time and not use electronic devices in bed and blah blah blah... but whoever wrote those articles clearly wasn't living my life.

Hell, I barely know who's living my life.

See, the reason I check my phone in the morning is because checking it is the only way I'm gonna find out what I did last night. Take, for example, the photo I found on it this morning.

Oh god, I'm cringing just looking at it. I didn't take this photo! Yeah, sure, I'm a hot guy who goes to the gym, but I swear I'm not the kind of douchebag who would pose nude like this. Someone else took this photo, and they used my body to do it.

Scrolling through the apps on my phone, I begin to piece together the events of last night. According to some Lyft receipts, my body left the house a bit before midnight and headed across the bridge to uptown, and didn't head back home until around five in the morning.

My bank statement informs me that I stopped at a fancy store to buy a new jacket (which I find in the closet) and then I headed to a bar I'd never heard of where I bought several rounds of shots and a plate of mozzarella sticks. It's even logged in my calorie counter app.

On Instagram I've been tagged in a story by someone I've never met before, and when I click on it there's a short video clip of a man standing on a table in some bar shaking his perky ass around and- oh, yup, the guy is me. I tap to the next video and my body has lost its shirt, probably so everyone can see my abs flexing as I do body rolls, and then in the next clip I'm down to just my skivvies and a stranger's hand is grabbing my junk and shaking it around. Thankfully, that's the last video in the lineup- though there's an ache in my ass that hints that it wasn't where the night ended.

This might sound like the kind of fun, drunken bender that a guy my age might get up to, but that's not what's going on here! I don't know why, but for the past few months every time I've gone to sleep at night, my body has woken back up and gone back out. At first I thought I was just sleepwalking- mom said I did it all the time as a kid -but sleepwalkers don't do the things that my body does.

Sleepwalkers walk. My body hits the town.

I always wake up safe and sound in bed in the morning, which is a small blessing, but everything else is a complete mystery. I don't know what is doing it, or how they're doing it, but I'm pretty sure it's another person. They basically told me so.

A few weeks after it started I bought a night vision camera and set it up to monitor my bedroom, hoping to glean some sort of clue about what exactly was happening to me, but whoever was in my body just deleted the footage. When I woke up in the morning, the only thing I found on the camera was a very long video of my body shoving a dildo up my ass, moaning like a whore while the other hand explored the muscles of my torso... and at the end of it, when my body was finally drenched in semen, it looked straight into the camera and winked.

The me in the video had a cocky expression on his face that I'd never seen before and to be honest, that kinda freaked me out! In a fit of desperation, I decided to leave a note taped to my bedroom door.

What do you want? I wrote. And when I woke up in the morning, someone had written something underneath it:

; )

Which... I still don't know what to make of that. I think whoever is doing this thinks that they're funny. Since then, my body snatcher has gotten into the habit of leaving me little notes and photos like the one up there.

My body snatcher seems to really like my body, which- hey, I'm proud of it too! You don't work as hard as I do on my abs without being a little vain, and if I was gonna snatch someone's body I'd probably go for someone who was packing a dick like mine. I can't even say that I blame them. But the number of photos I've found on my phone of myself groping my pecs, flexing my big biceps for the camera, licking my own armpits... it's a bit too much.

And that's the absolute worst part of it! Whoever's doing it is getting cocky. Look at that photo- the camera set-up, the hand written note, the strategically placed paint... this isn't just some random selfie taken on the spot, this required setup. They're mocking me, letting me know that they've got me where they want me and there's nothing I can do about it.

The pictures have only been getting bolder and more scandalous- some of the more recent ones were taken in public places, and they're starting to involve props. I'm nervous about what they're going to come up with next- but I guess I won't know until I wake up.

[julianalvarez9]

thunderstorms / martin ødegaard

author's note: OMG THIS GIF????? dead. i'm in love. anyways, here it is. the tittle's pretty self explanatory, but had this idea once i realised i'm not the biggest fan of thunderstorms. not the best i've ever written buuuut it's fluff and 2 idiots in love who think it's unrequited when it's not so it's good for my heart. anywayssssss too much talking.

summary: you never quite liked thunderstorms -not as a child and, surprisingly, not now either. it hadn't been a problem until you moved out of your parent's house, living with martin now, who didn't really know about your secret.

wc: 1.5 k. words.

you knew that, being a twenty-something woman, you should have grown out of your fear of thunderstorms: everyone had it, at some point in their life, but it quickly had faded away: long forgotten or just outgrown it. except, unfortunately, you hadn't.

having recently moved in with martin, your best friend, you hadn't found a reason to tell him. you knew it was stupid anyways, and with how often he was away, if any storms was to break out suddenly you could just turn the music up, like you did when you lived with your parents, and hope it ends sooner than later. basically, it hadn't appeared to be a problem. at least, not until now.

when you woke up today, and checked the weather app -like you always did before going to work-, you saw the little icon signaling a thunderstorm coming later today. but being as stubborn as you were, you didn't want to believe it. your mother always used to say that the weather wasn't an exact science, and a gush of wind could turn the whole calculations on their feet. but, even if you wanted to believe your mother, you knew that sooner or later you luck would run out.

you had arrived a couple of hours ago, having made dinner and quietly gone back up to your room, expecting the inevitable to happen. you had heard martin come in too, not too long after you. but you knew he might be tired from training, and you didn't want to bother him too much.

it had been pouring down for almost 30 minutes now, the noise cancelling earphones turning to be useless while the vibrations from the thunder seemed to creep under your bones. you knew annoying martin with such childish concerns wouldn't make anything better -hell, he couldn't call down the thunderstorm, no matter what he did-, but anyways, you found yourself right at his door, knuckle hitting slowly the wood to draw his attention. maybe, if you were lucky, he would already be asleep.

"martin, hi," was the first thing you said when the door opened and you saw his broad frame. he was in sweatpants and no shirt, and you had to focus really hard not to look at him too long. his disheveled hair made you aware that he was, in fact, sleeping, and you only felt dumber about it. "sorry to wake you up".

"hey, no. wasn't asleep yet", he lied, voice still hoarse while smiling tiredly. "everything okay?".

almost on cue, a thunder struck, making you jump involuntarily and prompting martin to extend his arms towards you. "y/n, are you okay?", he asked, palms softly going up and down your arm, trying to calm you down. "it might sound kinda silly but i-i'm afraid of thunderstorms," you confessed, cheeks heating up under his attentive piercing blue stare. stumbling onto his words, probably due to the sleep that still clouded his brain. not that he would ever admit to you that yeah, he was awoken by your presence. "you can sleep here if that'll make you feel better". he quietly added, overthinking whether he had sounded too forward. "i mean, if you want?".

the little laugh that emanated from you not only eased his worries, but it warmed up his heart, like it always did. you shyly got into the room, with martin closing the door softly behind your frame. the room, even dark as it was, still could be recognised as his: his fragrance intoxicating in the best way.

"you know you can get closer, right?”. martin is the first one to speak once you’ve settled under the covers. you didn’t want to annoy him, again, so you had resolved to sleep as far away from his body as possible. “you’ll fall and hurt yourself, y/n.”

"you're already doing too much. i don't want to bother you any further".

he chuckled at your reasoning. "nonsense. come on, come closer".

martin extended his arms, fingertips just barely touching the skin of your shoulders. he did it softly, force just enough to turn you from your side to your back, facing the ceiling now. he smiled involuntarily at the sight, your features softly illuminated by the light coming from the outside, before swiftly turning to face him. you never liked to sleep on your back.

the storm was still going as strong as before, but now, you had something else to focus on. or someone. being this close was already dangerous enough, you thought. his body heat radiating, reminding you that he was very much there didn’t help, either, and the effects were worse than you could have anticipated. you doubted what was worse: facing the night scared for the thunderstorm, or for fucking it all up now, with martin so close to you.

what you didn't know was that martin was struggling just as much.

even if he didn't know, he was slowly but surely falling in love with you. it had started as a silly crush, really, even before asking you to live with him. he hadn't done it with any ulterior motives: he knew you needed a place to stay, and being good friends for quite some time it wouldn’t be such a crazy idea to propose you to live with him. i’m not even there half of the time, he assured: and he was right. what he couldn’t forewarn was how he would react when the two of you were under the same roof. the domesticity of it all is what lulled him in in the end: how easy you seemed to fit into his life, -not that he asked it from you-, how cute you looked when you were making coffee for the both of you, how your hair rested softly on your shoulder, messy bed hair adorning your beautiful face.

the daydreaming, more like nightdreaming? had gone so far in martin's head that he hadn't noticed the little "i love you" that fell from his lips, breathy and almost inaudible. if it was muttered five seconds after, you would have been deeply asleep, lulled by the way martin was playing with your hair, fingers treading on the streaks. the confession would have slipped past you if you weren’t on the verge of consciousness, the norwegian’s voice being the silver string that brought you back. "what?".

"god, you scared me”, he said, bringing a hand to rest on his beating heart. “thought you were asleep". you asked, again, now eyes wide open, trying to get even the smallest glimpse of his face. "what did you say?".

"i don't really know. maybe i talk in my sleep and i didn’t know until now,” he jokes, and although you're quite disappointed about it, you give the benefit of the doubt. "oh. okay."

you know it’s dumb, really. you hadn't even heard him clearly to begin with, but the possibility of hearing your roommate say “i love you” had made your stomach turn slightly, and now, instead, you couldn’t help but feel kinda disappointed, even if you reprimanded yourself for even thinking about it. he was giving you so much already, what more could you possibly want?

but if martin ødegaard prided himself for something, was being perceptive. he knew how to recognise patterns, sense if something had changed in the behavior of one of his teammates that could hint at any problems that needed fixing inside the squad: that’s why he was captain, both at arsenal and his national team. and due to this, he could sense how your tone dropped, seemingly disappointed at his vague answer. yeah, he was in too deep, but he realized what he had said.

"hypothetically speaking, if i had said something, what would you think about it?".

"depending on what you said”.

he had continued playing with your hair all throughout the interaction, but getting closer to the strands that adorned your face now. "tell me what you've heard," martin insisted with a mischievous tone. "that you loved me,” you whispered, questioning tone at the end of the sentence and quickly shifting your gaze into his eyes away, involuntarily falling at his lips. you saw the smirk that played on his face before he said "yeah, wasn't such a surprise, wasn’t it?" and slipped his calloused hand towards your neck, slowly caressing your jaw with his thumb.

“stop,” you giggled, flustered at his latest actions. turning to hide your face in the pillow, he still could hear your accusation, although rather muffled. “you’re lying to make me forget about the stupid storm outside”. he tipped your head back, slowly, making you face him again. his bright blue eyes had shifted to your lips now. “could tell you exactly the same thing tomorrow, over breakfast, when the sun's out", he reassures, nose touching your own lovingly. "you like your eggs scrambled, don’t you?” martin asked, not that he needed your confirmation to know: he had watched you enough to know what you liked to have in the mornings.

“and you like your coffee way too strong”.

[juliets-roller-derby-awesomeness]

favorite psych fics??? 👀

i honestly haven't read too-too many but here's an incomplete list:

food is life, and life hates juliet. this was the first one i read and i found it through @/thespiritssaidso answering my ask about spoiler free psych fics and it's so cute aksjsjdbs. i wrote a short little continuation here but it's a spoiler free shules sickfic/whump and it's pretty short and i've read it like 3 times bc it makes my feet kick. @/thespiritssaidso (Isolation68 on ao3) writes a bunch of really cute shassie stuff too but i like juliet far too much for this not to be my favorite of their work.

hidden emotions. it's less than 1k but just really good. it's pov second person (following jules) and has spoilers for the season 3 finale, but i love it a lot. i found it from someone answering my spoiler free psych post telling me to sort by date updated on ao3- which like- i wish i could find that notification and give you a hug bc that changed my life lol. i really really loved reading like a detached 2nd person fic, it's so well written because it doesn't make you feel like juliet but it gives so much information on her thoughts and feelings which was just a really cool experience and inspired me to write this (which i swear i will update soon i have like half of the next chapter on my notes app), which slight spoilers for season 4 but it's cannon divergence. anyway i love the concept and i love the execution and i love juliet o'hara

the door before me is open just enough. it's just really cute. another shules one shot i found the same way and it really stands up to re-reading

love game. fluff and smut, shules one shot i found the same way. there are a couple sexy shules fics that i love but for some reason this is the only one i have bookmarked. it's so good and the author does a really good job of keeping the characters believable throughout. theres some shawn and gus friendship stuff and karen vick, i just like it a lot

there are a lot more but these were most if the ones i bookmarked, if you're interested there are like 60 fics when you search psych >> shules >> english >> updated between 2006-2011, they're all pretty short (6k max i think) and probably 50 of them i liked so definitely check that out lol

edit: @/attic-nights was the one who told me to sort by updated on ao3!!! you are my favorite i love you so much go send them hugs lol

[poppitron360]

I’m trying to get more confident posting my fanfics online, so I dug this old one from a couple of months ago out of the notes app. This was written just after I’d finished TLH, but Festus is completely rebuilt.

Also, thank you @lavenderfairiez for encouraging me to post my writings more!! I still have entire folders of unpublished fics that might make their way on here soon.

Summary: Leo is sad, so Festus tries to comfort him.

CW: Swearing

Word Count: 1,197

Happy Dragon, Sad Boy

Leo was crying again.

He tried to stop himself, he really did, but when he was working alone in the workshop in the small hours of the night, he often found the thoughts he could push away during the day crept back to him. Eventually, he’d be trembling too much to work, so put his tools down, and sit with his knees to his chest and his back to the wall and just fucking get it over with.

He had a spot where the wall had already been charred by a certain fire-breathing robot dragon, so he knew that nobody would notice if he left burn marks on the concrete. It was safe.

He sighed, and sat down. It didn’t take long for the waterworks to start, the sniffling, the whimpering.

Here we fucking go again, Valdez, He thought, Why can’t you just fucking get over yourself and work? What the fuck is wrong with you? Maybe I just need to go to sleep. No. You can sleep when you’re dead. Work. How are you still shaking? Get up, you lazy bitch. Get the fuck up you worthless, skinny little nobody, you think you’re any use to anyone just crying like a little baby, little bitch baby, little bitch baby bitch cu-

“SHUT UP!’ Leo yelled out loud, and then immediately started bawling. His body responded by promptly bursting into flames.

He heard a creaking noise somewhere in the workshop. His outburst had woken Festus.

The dragon padded over to him, ducking under the various mechanisms suspended on the ceiling. Despite being 60 tonnes of celestial bronze plating and machinery, his footfalls were soft and silent. He nuzzled Leo, and Leo chuckled, his fire flickered and died.

“H-hey buddy, woah there!”

Festus nuzzled his face some more, and licked a tear off Leo’s cheek with his metal-plated tongue. Leo pushed him away playfully, and curled up again, sniffling some more.

Festus cocked his head, and he began clicking and creaking, his eyes flashed at him in time with the rhythm. Morse code, just like Leo had taught him.

“Eye water?”

“It’s called crying, buddy,” Leo explained, in a shaky voice, “Humans do it when they’re sad.”

“Y?”

Festus spoke in shorthand, otherwise conversations got lengthy. His spelling also wasn’t great, but neither was Leo’s. English was a weird language, and Leo couldn’t be bothered to teach Festus the exact etymology of every word, so when Feastus learnt a new word he just spelt it like it sounded.

“Because… I guess it’s s’posed to make you feel less sad. Like when I give you chin scritches, right boy?”

Festus rolled over on his back at the word “chin scritches”, just like a dog would do. Leo sighed, but smiled, and began rubbing the underside of his chin. Festus closed his eyes, happily.

“It’s meant to soothe you, but I dunno… it’s a short term solution, fixes you just enough to be able to get back up on your feet and keep functioning.”

Festus rolled back over and looked at Leo quizzically.

“Sad meen not funkshon?”

“Yeah… sad is like the opposite of how you feel when you have scritches.”

“Happy.”

“Yeah.”

“My name.”

Leo chuckled, “Yes buddy. Festus means happy. That’s why I named you that. You make me happy. Not sad.”

“But kry?”

Leo wiped his tears-stained face with the back of his sleeve. “Yes. Despite having the best dragon in the world, I still get sad sometimes.”

“Y?”

“Why do I get sad?” Leo took a deep breath, and looked out across the workshop, then back at his dragon, who was watching him, patiently. “I get sad for a lot of reasons, buddy. But mostly because I miss my mom.”

“Mom?”

“Mom. Yes. Mom…” He trailed off. How do I explain what a mom is to a metal dragon that was built in a workshop?

“A mom is like… Y’know how I feed you motor oil with Tabasco Sauce? And give you chin scritches? And fix you when you’re broken?”

Festus nodded.

Leo reached up, and absent-mindedly stroked the dragon’s cheek.

“And you know how when Jason does all those things, it doesn’t make you as happy as when I do them?“

Festus nodded again.

“Why is that?”

“Ur Leo.”

“Yes. I made you. I’m special to you.”

Festus stared at him with his red eyes, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“Well… a mom is like that. Every human has a mom, they make us in their tummies, then they feed us, give us chin scritches, and fix us when we’re broke.”

“Ur my mom?”

Leo laughed. Festus nuzzled him some more, rolled over, and put his head in Leo’s lap. Leo stroked his metal-plated chin and smiled. “Umm… not exactly, buddy… but, yeah I guess I sort of am.”

“Leo. Mom. Love you.”

Leo tapped Love you back to him. It was the first phrase Festus had learned, because Leo often absent-mindedly tapped it out during their long journeys. Since then, they’d been communicating through morse code just like Leo had done with his mom.

“U miss ur mom?” Festus creaked, sleepily, “Mom gone?”

“Mom died,” Leo explained, “Long ago.”

“Dyd?”

“When people stop working and you can’t fix them anymore. They’re, like, really gone. And you can’t get them back.”

Leo fought back tears.

“Everything dies, Festus. Eventually you will break and you can’t be fixed. So will I. Nothing lasts forever, buddy.”

“U will b dyd?”

“I will die, yes. Probably before you. Humans don’t live very long.”

“I fix U.”

“No, boy. That’s what I’m saying. You can’t fix someone when they break past a certain point. You just can’t.”

“That sad.”

“Exactly. That’s why I cry.’

“Ur Mom dyd,” he spelled out the letters slowly, committing the word to his memory, “U R sad, U Kry?”

“That’s it buddy. You got it.”

Somehow, teaching Festus about the concept of life and death made the idea a lot more bearable. Being able to break his feelings down in a way that was explainable to the dragon helped him process everything. He knew Festus would never truly understand everything Leo felt, but his cluelessness comforted Leo. He didn’t judge him for feeling his feelings, just wanted to make him happy.

“How fix?”

Leo looked into his glowing red eyes. “I wish I knew, boy. Crying makes it better for a bit, but the problem always comes back. My Mom died a long time ago, and I still haven’t been able to fix it. Maybe I can’t fix it. Maybe it is something I just have to live with, forever.”

“Until U dy?”

“Yeah.”

“How I help?”

“How can you help?”

Festus nodded.

“You are helping, boy. Just by being with me, you make me happy.”

Festus put his head in Leo’s lap, and closed his eyes. He curled his big metal body around Leo, and creaked and clicked one short, repeating message.

“Love you, Leo. Love you, mom. Love you, Leo.”

Leo tapped it back to him. “Love you, Festus. Love you, happy. Love you, dragon. Love you. Love you.”

And eventually, in the lull of the rhythmic tapping, Leo went to sleep.

[writersblockended]

Bucky's House Sitting trials - blurb.1

Hey guys this is a new fanfic I have been brewing on for a day or two and decided to go from daydreaming to actially writing it down for once. It's been so long since I have written anything from ANY fandom but lets see where this takes us omg. Im definitely gonna make this into a full fic if I see it going somewhere nice. Regardless this isn't even a real chapter this is just a scene of my whole concept.

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Plot; Bucky decides on trying out house sitting after his therapist suggest he needs to get of his damn house and isolating himself. Sure, the isolation bit is still there but at least he's not home anymore, right? Anyways this homeowner is super rich and who knows maybe they'll cross paths at some point.

TW; none hehe

WC; 885

I do not own any of these characters don't sue me marvel thx

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Bucky pushed through the door. Keys dangling from his hands, loudly making noise as he stepped into the big empty apartment complex he was supposed to look over. So, he had so much free time after the big shtick with Thanos and Steve leaving that he never had to leave his home anymore. So, his therapist in a desperate attempt forced him to get out of his home and told him of an app where he can “house sit” some rich person’s house for a couple days while they leave for whatever reason. So here he was, taking care of some rich person’s insane apartment that probably cost millions of dollars that he will never see in his life. At least he was getting paid for this, it's not like he exactly has a job right now. 

He looks around the place and it irks him just how expensive everything looks. If he breaks anything in this place he’s so fucked. Whatever. He will just have to be careful. Entering the kitchen, there's a note stuck to the fridge in neat handwriting: please enjoy your stay, I will be gone over the weekend and have whatever you like in the fridge and pantry! :) 

He opens the fridge and Jesus there is so much food, enough for a family of twelve. Is this how rich people live? He sighed. The size of the kitchen alone is probably as big as his old place in brooklyn when he was a child. These new appliances from the future looked intimidating. He was still learning how to use a coffee maker. What happened to just regular coffee? What is up with all these new chinos? Let's just say this new world is still pretty fucken new. His phone alone was a nighmare to use even after years of using it now.

He made his way upstairs and found what would be his bedroom since it had a note on the door. For you! It wrote. The room was furnished like a hotel with all its necessities, the owner had even put his towels on the bench at the end of his temporary bed. It even had a TV! He continued to the bathroom. It was medium sized and had a large rain showerhead. The bathroom was dark with black cabinets, even the tile all over the bathroom was black. He did not mind the layout. 

Bucky turned around and went straight to the bed. It was a late Friday night, and he should at least be doing what he already knows what to do. Failing to fall asleep at a normal hour while it is still night. So, he does what he needs to and grabs from his pack of clothes he plopped down earlier and gets what he calls his poor excuse of pajamas: sweatpants and no shirt. He never got used to modern clothes either, men's clothes nowadays are so tight. 

And at that the days drifted slowly. He spent most of his time working out in his room with the TV on or he kept to himself by scrolling on his phone. Twitter was so weird, everyone just constantly fighting eachother over what was mostly misunderstandings and typos. He caught onto the internet stuff quickly, it wasn’t to figure it out, most of it was just navigating the apps. One social media he did not understand truly was instagram. It was just sharing pictures, so he didn’t do that. It’s not like he has any friends currently, and there's so many underdressed women. It's not like he judged per se, he knows women are allowed to do whatever they want to do. He just wasn’t used to seeing women dressed like that at all. Had women done that in his time he would look away out of respect. 

What he missed a lot of the time was being able to drink. The feeling of being drunk. It isn’t always for drinking when he gets sad but sometimes it could just give him a buzz. Just to get rid of the anxiety that is always threatening to tip over. 

He shook his head and decided he should change the channel of his TV. It was now Sunday. Just a couple more hours till six o'clock. He could do this. Then he’d be holed up in his apartment and prove to his therapist that he actually does what she tells him to do. He rolls his eyes at the thought. This is probably the most outlandish thing he's done since he got back from being himself. 

The hours were passing slowly, and he decided on one more task. He wanted to snoop. So, he decided exploring this apartment would be ideal. He never really got to; he respected the owner's privacy but really had nothing to do. When he left his room, he turned the corner and found a smaller door. He stepped inside and it was a small laundry room. It was messy and had a basket of women’s clothes in a corner. He was not about to snoop on some woman's clothes, he was not that kind of guy.

He turned his ass around and left to go back to his bed. He should’ve just stayed in his room.

[burntblueberrywaffles]

Fic tag game

got tagged by @fangeek-girl ❤️❤️

How many works do you have on Ao3?

I have 7 works but 3 of them are fanfic lol

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

1896 words total. Your girl is definitely one for brevity LOL

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday, that one drabble I made for The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, and I've been writing for Star Wars (though I haven't posted anything yet) and Mrs maisel (i wrote a whole short fic for that almost a year ago but I forgot about it completely until I found it in my notes apps, I should get around to posting it)  

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I don't have 5 fics total but here's my current count in order:

1-Lies

2-The world's a little blurry

3-Pretend

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes always! the fact that people are READING my stuff and taking time to comment has me 🥺🥺🥺

My writing ao3 isnt linked to my main email adress though so sometimes it takes me a while to respond because I wont see it until I periodically check my fic stats

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

.....Probably The world's a little blurry let's be real (I'm going to fix it it in the next one in the series, I promise!!!)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

akdadhjgsjgd hard to say all my shit is angsty, I guess Pretend?? kind of, it's less of a downer than the other ones. The final part of Come a little closer will have a happy ending though I promise! (already finished writing the end, I just need to write the beginning lol)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No ❤️ I don't think any of my stuff has gotten enough attention for that lol

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

NO my ace ass has no experience with that so I wouldn't know how 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️(I might need to in some future project, fortunately a lot of my friends are perverts (affectionate) so I could probably ask for some guidance if it comes to that LOL)

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No, I'm not a big fans of crossovers in general so certainly have never felt compelled to write one.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So many ugh I cant even choose, it's more rare for me to actually finish something than the opposite, that's why I'll never post anything unless the whole thing is finished (only exception is my current series, but that's because I felt like each fic making up the series were self-contained enough that they didn't need to follow up immediatly to work? if that makes sense - plus the first one was a one shot and only thought of how to follow it up after posting it)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

ANIDALA MY BELOVED

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at imagery and emotion (being a poetry writer goes brrrrr)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS oh god I'm so bad at it. My fic are vibes only lmao, what are they wearing? where are they? what movements are they doing? NOT IMPORTANT how about I offer you 12 metaphors on how this character is feeling instead. (though I'm forcing myself to work on it haha)

I also struggle with any longer story arc... there's a reason all my stuff is so short lol

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's in french it would be pretty fun since it's my ✨first language✨ hehe. For other languages I'd see if one of my friends speak it but otherwise idk if I'd include it bc I don't want to butcher another language, I've seen too many english authors put french through the ringer it's painful 😭

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I guess Julie and the Phantoms? I never posted it but I had a pretty advanced fic for that. unless you count the 13 reasons why fic I posted on wattpas when i was early teen but we dont talk about that

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

right now it has to be The world's a little blurry, I just love how it came out hehe

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

none right now.

Anyway tagging @nonamemanga @beri-allen @unlifeira @realmermaid333 @suchaladyy @witchysith @king-crimson-works @theycallme-thejackal and anyone else who might want to do it!

[buriedlove]

BL Sunday Update

Hello Buried Lovers,

I thought I would get back to doing little updates each Sunday. They won't all be super exciting with word counts/ release dates (yet!) but I thought it would be helpful for you guys to know what I'm up to with Buried Love, and for me to just sometimes use this blog for some reflection on the whole process of writing an interactive fiction. It's such a different way of writing and I've definitely hit a few hurdles here and there. I thought I'd share in case they help anyone else who also occasionally feels like the IF they're writing is more challenging than finding their way out of the worlds most complex labyrinth (although at least we know some people who can help with that, right?)

The Characters

For the past couple of weeks I've been spending a lot of time re-engaging with the characters - reading and adding to character notes and working through the emoji asks you've been sending through (thank you for those - they've honestly been so helpful in allowing me to get back into the heads of the characters).

Characterisation is always my absolute favourite part of writing - I love understanding each character, why they do what they do. Who they are - what drives them, what they fear, who makes their hearts feel like they're pounding out of their chests.

Working through how to write for each love interest in a way that feels true to them, but in a way that is manageable within a branching IF has been one of my biggest writing challenges.

I've tried writing a section at a time for each character, I've tried writing each character's options as I go through (this was the quickest approach for me but when I read back what I'd written it didn't feel true to the characters at all), and I've tried writing a whole day for one character and then going back and adjusting/ changing for each character (and this is the approach I'm using again now).

Unfortunately I think the approach that makes me the most comfortable from a characterisation perspective is the slowest (sorry!), but I hope in the end it'll mean we have a story where each route feels authentic and different. If feels like a huge relief to have found a writing model that seems to work for me!

This week I've also been building the details for the 3 characters who aren't in the game yet and doing some background research - I'm so excited for you to meet them!

...and other things

One of the reasons for my spectacular writers block was a challenge idea I had that I just couldn't make work from a character/ branching perspective. So another important lesson I've learned is - if you can't make it work then put a big ol' pin in it and write something else. It's something I've done with other writing but for some reason I was fixed on the idea I needed to keep writing everything in a linear way because of the branching/ coding. But the pin approach worked - I've solved how to approach the challenge (as of yesterday) and it's flowing much better (yay!)

That's it for this week - I'll be sharing lots of ask responses over the next week, and have some dating app profiles for all of the characters to start sharing. I also have a beautiful art commission to share next weekend of our favourite book shop owner. If there's anything you'd like to ask or see on this blog please just let me know.

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Disc World bookclub thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 12-20

Okay @anna-neko … and all the other people that found me(tho I’ll be writing to Anna here)

Buckle up cause I actually read more, so there’s A LOT more text!

Before I start, I'm fully aware that the book's premise is that the whole regiment turns out to be women in disguised(except one being trans??? That happens at the end so I won't bring that up till I get there). But for ease of talking, I will he/him everyone until they've been she/her-ed. Plus, there are other characters, so I could accidentally she/her a man thinking they would be one of the undercover women. So yah, following the pronouns corresponding to where I am in the book.

I wrote everything on a notes app while listening/reading, and then organized it. So my "knowledge" will flip flop since different parts were written at different points of reading. Also I’m playing around with the best way to show quotes. Okay here are my thoughts loosely organized:

—Critiques—

Some critiques. I want to start of with them so that we can end on a high note. At first it was hard for me to get that there were scene changes happening. Most books usually leave large space b/w the paragraphs, but at least in this digital book, it just looks like a normal paragraph spacing. And the audio book doesn't indicate that there's a scene shift, so there were a couple of times that I got lost because I didn't realize there was a new scene. Though I think I finally got it down how he switches from scenes, so I should be fine.

Also while I do like that he just says stuff, for example, him introducing Polly’s guy name by writing, "At least, Polly climbed out of the window, but it was Oliver’s feet that landed lightly on the ground," instead of saying, "she decided to call herself Oliver Perks.” At times I do need a bit more guidance. I can pick up stuff with context, but, sometimes it threw me off. For example, with the igor, while I would've gotten it eventually, I just decided to google it, because I was too distracted being confused to actually pay attention to the dialogue if that makes sense???? So I mostly like how he seamlessly intergrates new info, but sometimes I do feel like I'm going in blind, or suffering for not knowing about the previous books. Tho I will say the vampire lore was intergrated well. It's nothing so bad that it ruins the book for me since it's mostly executed well.

Side tangent, but I actually started the book by listening to it, so I actually didn’t catch the Olly name until I got to this line, “…but Polly was known to all the ferrymen by sight and the guard would want to see her permit to travel, which Oliver Perks certainly didn’t have.” I like this line! I mostly like when he does it, but yah, I get confused sometimes.

Okay on to stuff my other thoughts!

Short quippy stuff

Hee hee foreshadowing!

There was no question of anyone getting undressed.

I love that her nickname is Ozzer

Don't cry challenge(impossible)

AAAAH SHE GOT CAUGHT.

Nothing quippy, just a funny line:

Ugh. I hate strappi I hate Strappi I hate Strappi. Me and the boys hate Strappi.

You said these books are very pop-cultury. I'll say these aged well because I don't think I've caught any pop culture reference(or maybe I have without realizing) and I still find the book funny and it makes sense to me. So uh yah, go Terry Pratchett I guess.

—Longer thoughts—

Am I viewing everything as an American, or is this a reference to don't ask, don't tell??? I don't think so cause nothing else about it is queer coded and also Terry Pratchett is British, so there would be no reason for him to talk about that. My brain just short-circuited because it's a military book and I'm American 🙃

Thoughts on Maladict—

Maladict carries around silver-gilt coffee engine (which icon behavior) so idk how allergic he is to silver. Is he lying about the silver allergy or does he just suck it up for some coffee (cause if he does, again King behavior). I think my fav soldier rn is Maladict (can you tell???). Polly think's she's cool, but he's the actually cool one. Love his whole "even though I'm sobre from humans, it doesn't mean I can't/won't seriously fuck you up." I love when writers explore ethical vampires/vampires blending in with humans (I really should read vampire books).

I think the whole black ribbon thing is cool! I think there's a book that follows a vampire??? If you're down(and it makes sense), I'd love to read one of the vampire books since I'm already so intrigued by vampire society! Obviously after I'm done with this book

Thoughts I wrote about Jackrum—

Damn Jackrum has to keep telling Strappi to ease on the racism.

I like how Sargent Jackrum asked Polly if she was fine with fighting Strappi. I knew that his whole "stop being racist" is more of a "WE NEED MEN" than him actually caring about fantasy racism™️, or that's how I saw it at first at least. But now, I think there's a genuine side of kindness to him. So I'm excited to see more of that (be it, seeing more of his softer side or being proven wrong).

ALSO WHILE WRITING IN POLLY’S SECTION, I REALIZED THAT JACKRUM PROBABLY KNOW SHE'S A WOMEN!!!! Oh shit, maybe corpol too???? Definitely Jackrum I think!

"What's that?" said the corporal. "My signature," said Polly… "You can read and write, too?" said the sergeant, glancing up at them and then back to her.

THEY GOT SURPRISED THAT SHE KNEW HOW TO READ AND WRITE (an abomination for women). Also... I might have gotten slightly spoiled trying to draw Jackrum. I didn't read anything but I saw girl fanart of him???? I mean, I guess he's also part of the troop, I thought it was just the soldiers. HE MIGHT BE MYSTERY PERSON!!!! Anyways, this is for future me to figure out… So that's probably why he's nice to her. NOW I'M EXCITED TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HIM. Before I got to the scene where Polly fights, I drew this cause I thought it was funny, while being slightly out of character. But now, I think this not that out of character (I'll have to see). Anyways have this shitty little doodle.

Thoughts on Polly—

I was very slow to realize that Polly's from Borogravia. As for why Polly joined, Polly definitely doesn't believe the propaganda, so my best guess is that she's going to try and find Paul. Reading about her missing Paul absolutely broke my heart. Though it's very interesting how also she was raised.

Also I got so scared when she got caught even tho I knew it would happen eventually, just didn't think it would happen THIS early in the book! I knew the moment mysterious person gave Polly the sock. I find it funny how Polly was like, “damn I thought I was cool mysterious kid". Her inner monologue is pretty funny.

I didn't ask you for one, Polly thought, quite annoyed at being taken for being a frightened young lad when she was sure she'd come over as quite a cool, non-ruffled young lad.

Also I'm pretty sure mystery person is a girl, cause I know the permis of the book so it makes this line funny

"Why, is this the escutcheon of Her Grace the Duchess I see in front of me?" said the whisperer. "Well, it won't be in front of me for long. Beat it ... boy."

Wrote this section on mystery person before the realization 🧍🧍🧍. Now I don't know. AAAAAAAAH.

Also, I'm glad that Polly gave Strappi a taste of his own medicine. Tho Private Parts is kinda funny 🏃🏃🏃. Insert: "that's a good joke, a great joke even, but I'm gonna have to ask you to stop,” audio. Seriously tho, it's pretty cool how Polly's experiences from her childhood with her dad and the other soldiers has helped her to blend in at this point. She was funny when she was like:

"I'll try not to hurt him either, Sarge," said Polly, and then cursed herself for the idiot bravado. It must have been the socks talking.

I read it twice and listened to it a 3rd time, since I had to write this and I laughed each time. I can't believe I find this dick joke so funny, I'm truly an immature child. Also fuck man. The way Polly saw people die, or just the discussions of how wars fucks people up. I have nothing insightful to say. Just, man, war's rough (<- biggest understatement of the century).

Other Book thoughts—

One thing I wasn't expecting, was for the crew to be made up of so many fantasy™️ creatures. But that one is fully on me since the book is called monstrous regiment. I guess I was so focused on what I've heard about the book, that I just completely glazed pass that. I see that there is some fantasy racism™️, so hopefully that's done well. I'm not saying it's always bad, but a lot of time people try to do metaphors, but it falls apart (ex: monster=racism allegory, when one of the characters is literally Mexican (and is brown). I'm not naming the name of the show on purpose). I do think it can be done well when you take the more, "prejudice is a thing, this is how it would play out with these creatures," and you don't make it a one-to-one with any particular minority. I feel like that's a more productive criticism of bigotry that can be applied to minority groups. I mean, I think there can be some one-to-one allegories that make sense, but it needs to be done carefully. I hope I'm making sense. But so far, I don’t see anything that bothers me. Just have my guard up a bit.

—✨Deeper✨ Thoughts on the book—

I kinda alluded to this in the previous review but yah, it's very interesting how Terry Prachet writes about war. I mean, I'm only 18, so I won't pretend to know much about the world, but I think this book has very strong themes about the dangers of nationalism and what not. And obviously he exaggerates it in the book, but it can be applied to a lot of modern situations. Side tangent, but I'm not really a patriotic person. I'm glad that my country has provided me better opportunities than my parent’s country, but I've always seen being so patriotic to a fault very weird. Also, this is clearly a criticism of the monarchy. "God save the duchess" like, come on. Down to this religious fervor they treat the duchess with, that they pray to it. I feel weird commenting too much, since I'm not as connected/involved/know too much about the politics of the monarchy (I mean technically the US is an ex-British colony, but rn relationship b/w the US and the UK is way better than other countries with the UK). All I'll say is that I don't care how nice she was, she was a colonizer and the monarchy has and continues to harm people to this day. Also back to nationalism, I've always hated the whole "people from this country suck". Like maybe the government sucks but you can never ascribe what the country does to the people of said place.

Honestly I feel weird commenting on this book in general, because I have barely any religious experience, haven't been too exposed to war, nor am I British (I mean this more in respect of the whole monarchy thing). Also, even though I'm a woman, I haven't felt much sexism. Like no cat-calling, most of the people respect me. Besides, "normal sexism," aka unconscious bias stuff like, "strong men help me pick the heavy stuff,” I don't think I have had any notable experiences of sexism or have seriously felt it in my life. So I feel like I can't give any deep observation about sexism or religion besides, yup that sounds right! Same with any the politics about war than, yup nationalism bad! I'm really aware that I'm just an 18 yr old who doesn't know much cause young people think they know everything (I mean that gets thrown a lot to invalidate young activists but there is a kernel of truth of: less experience=less knowledge of the world). Basically, I am noticing deeper themes in the book, but don’t expect me to talk about these parts if the book too much, because I don’t think I have anything productive to add. I just feel super unqualified to comment on much of this, and like I could be wrong about 100 different things I just said.

Umm… with that being said,

—Some quotes that I thought were interesting but I can't articulate why rn—

"At Paul's insistence, she'd read the whole of 'From the Mothers of Borogravia!!' to him, including the bits about heroes and there being no greater good than to die for your country. She wished, now, she hadn't done that. Paul did what he was told. Unfortunately, he believed what he was told, too."

"Several copies of the pamphlet seemed to have reached every home, even so. It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing"

"She'd learned to read and write after a fashion because the inn was big and it was a business and things had to be tallied and recorded. Her mother had taught her to read, which was acceptable to Nuggan, and her father made sure that she learned how to write, which was not. A woman who could write was an Abomination Unto Nuggan, according to Father Jupe; anything she wrote would by definition be a lie."

"She'd be funny just as long as she was useless, and safe as long as she was funny." Ugh yah, some men get really threaten by women being better than them

Misc—

Thank goodness for the audio book. I love when authors write in the accents, I think it creates character and it's very creative... but I'm terrible at trying to understand what they're saying. I've been doing a mixture of audio book only, audio book plus text, and just reading text. Anyways, I was reading a line Strappi said where he was mocking Maladict and I literally couldn't understand it until I listened to that part later when I could use my headphones again.

"Private Bloodfnucker hnas a fnord, Fnargeant," he said accusingly.

This was the line btw. All hail audiobooks everyone 🧎🧎🧎

Also damn digital books and audio books help me actually pick up the book and it makes it a lot less intimidating. I like reading but, sometimes my brain views it as a chore. Like I used to start books, LIKE THEM, and then proceed to NOT finish them. I have been using audiobooks in the past but it was while reading the book, and almost never just the audiobook (unless I had didn't finish a chapter in time for class). But man, actually leaning into how my brain works makes it easier. Who would've thought! (Like I always forget how useful hearing the text it, even though I have been using this tip for years). So yah, even though I think I prefer the experience of physical books, I need to just let myself read the easiest ways to me. Audiobook only, has been nice since it takes the least amount energy, but it is the hardest for me to understand, especially if it gets too flowery/lore-y. So warning, I’ll miss small details because of this. I usually go back and skim the parts I did audio only, but I’ll still miss stuff.

Also, I'm using hoopla(and when the 21 days are up, my libby ver of the text should be available), but tip! If you like to annotate, download books on PDFs and annotate using the comments. Honestly, great with research papers too! I love to highlight with different colors and then you filter the annotations, amazing really. Obviously you can do this in irl books but I like that I can write more in the comment section thingy than in the margin of books.

But yah! I'm liking the book so far. I like how Terry Pratchett writes and I like Polly as a mc.

I will add alt text some other date cause I don't have the mental energy rn. If someone besides Anna find it and wants them, just @ me in the comment and I'll @ you when I finish this Also gonna add links to the previous and next review for better organization.

First | <-Previous | Next->

[thepromisedbride]

i made a poll about whether people think chuuya is the original or the clone, and @rennbo asked me to elaborate on why i support the chuuya as a clone theory, which was much appreciated, so i put together some of my thoughts.

(please be warned, this was written on my phone in my notes app, and i don't currently have access to my copy of stormbringer. i'll go back in and edit it when i can!)

so first i’m going to look at stormbringer itself, wherein we’re told that chuuya is a clone (and we briefly see the other chuuya, who is supposedly the original). from what I can remember, and please bear in mind I don’t actually have my copy of stormbringer with me so there might be something else, the main evidence that implies chuuya is the original is the scar on his wrist, which the other one doesn’t have? i’m willing to dismiss this for a theory i like. in terms of given evidence, i think there’s much more that he is the clone, not only because that is explicitly what we’re told, but also because the only other character who actually contains a singularity is verlaine, who was artificially constructed. both guivre and arahabaki exist as ultrapowerful, interdimensional, and almost certainly sentient beings, contained within a vessel: if one vessel was artificially constructed then i think the very fact that there is any evidence for chuuya to be also artificially constructed means that he was.

but honestly, the main reason I think that chuuya is the clone is less due to evidence and more due to symbolism, and how chuuya’s character works alongside two others: namely, paul verlaine and dazai osamu. chuuya works as a foil for both of them, and i genuinely think that him being a clone not only adds to that, but adds to it significantly.

verlaine is himself an artificial creation, and he is constantly fighting himself over whether he’s human or not. his only friend was rimbaud, and he owed (or at least saw himself as owing) everything he was to him. his loyalty was never to the french government, but rather solely rimbaud. however, and again be aware this is my interpretation of it; because he gained everything from rimbaud, even his name, arthur became almost another creator for him. that loyalty was not unconditional, especially after verlaine’s history, and it faltered when verlaine found “another version of himself” in chuuya and had to decide if “he” would once again choose his creator or freedom. he sees chuuya as the only other being in the world who can relate to him, and he’s willing to do anything to have that, because he cannot see himself as possibly having a family any other way.

(side note because it isn’t really in my main idea but I also think adam adds an interesting counterpart to this dynamic, in that he isn’t human and has no interest in being one, however much he likes them.)

dazai is human, but everything about his characterisation is designed otherwise (i’m talking pm!dazai here, though of course ada!dazai has his own displays of this). his nickname is about him being a demon rather than human. his attitude is cold and detached from everything and often seen as inhuman by other characters. his very ability is called ‘no longer human’. chuuya is very clearly his counterpart, which is both why they fought so much and why they worked so well together. where one is brash, one is calm. one is strength, one is smarts. one is driven by emotion, one is near emotionless. i can’t properly think of how to say this, but it seems only right that one of them should be human but still seen as a created experiment, and one should be artificially created but all too human despite that. this is especially notable when you consider that there is a certain line to be drawn between professor n literally creating chuuya and mori creating what dazai was.

and ultimately, chuuya is neither of them, and so in this can act as a foil to both. despite coming from a similar background to verlaine, he is able to let go of what has happened and form his relationships based on friendship. he sees the good in people, rather than distrusting them based on past circumstances. and he’s not like dazai, who is calculating and able to separate himself from whatever plans he is making and their results, because chuuya is driven by emotion and forms bonds as easily as breathing. if chuuya is a clone then the choices he makes and how it counters and contrasts verlaine and dazai works, in my opinion, far more compellingly than if he was the original human. it adds a lot more to his character and his relationships, knowing that what he has is more important than what he is. He is human, clone or not, and the fact that this is what he chooses is just another way he adds into the story.

also if chuuya isn’t a clone then the whole of stormbringer is based on a misunderstanding, and i love that book too much to let that be the case.

[seethesunny]

Hi, lovely! Here’s some for the ask game. 🍓🥤🌻🪐

Hi friend, happy Saturday 🤲🏼❤ thank u lots for the ask! I always get bored haha

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

This is funny because I've always been a creative kid, so I would create my own stories inside my head and they eventually turned into some of the shows/books I liked- sometimes a mixture- and at the time I didn’t know that was called fanfiction! I have the vivid memory of snatching my mom's lavender Nokia cellphone to write in a notes app, that happened until I fell into the role-playing world for years and that only cemented my love for it, I fully got into writing seriously around five years since that but never posted, it was for that same group of friends only. So that's my backstory! I had given up on it for a number of reasons but I'm back in the fanfiction pit lol

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Since I've been a tessjoel girlie from the beginning I'm pulling some of the hidden gems on FF dot net that some new fans may not know! These are all videogame tlou.

Starting with one of my favorite fics EVER (it is a habit to reread it monthly) written by Raff who is a legend and was a pioneer for them. This is an au that's technically canon compliant for the tone, a very straight-forward summary: Ellie is Tess and Joel's daughter, this is the little glimpses of how they raise her in the QZ:

@kokureno and I gush over this particular fic nonstop, college au with romcom elements, what's not to love?

This one is a curious case because while I read it previously, my mind was blown away when I finally read Dirt (also recommend it) then came back to it. Tess and Joel share a vulnerable moment and Tess realizes there is more to him than what she thought, pretty spot on character analysis:

This one is a Tess lives au AND a babyfic, and you know how hard it used to be to find babyfics for them specifically? Aside from signs (originally from FFnet), I wasn't that lucky and this was a blessing:

Someone said missing scene fic about a very necessary topic aka Joel and Ellie bringing up Tess during their journey? The old man HAS feelings??? Anyway, this is 100% canon to me:

This one is for those who are fans of Tess’s backstory in the old tlou storyline where she was the main antagonist/villain, which means she had a brother who was killed; in my heart this will always be her OG origin story honestly. Plus, Joel also opens up about his own loss:

Don't you love it when there's a recurring theme in your fic???? Tess and Joel's lives when they're running out of time, Tommy appears too, canon compliant:

Okay this one is on AO3 too, I get that, however I first found it here and anyway it has now been buried so! I'm showing it again. Tess's centered fic were a rarity so I know this one like the back of my hand, the most juicy gritty QZ life angst, it's also an origin story about her AND a character study, go wild:

Another one on AO3, but hear me out this IS them at their true core and a required reading for everyone to understand them and their dynamic perfectly, it's pretty sad and there's not much comfort but that's why it's so good. Also, the queen herself (amb) wrote it and this is my special dedication to her bc she cemented this Fandom alongside Raff and she's the best at pulling our heartstrings:

Those are some of my favs. I can't include every single one cause it would take me ages but there are so many more there that are worth a read. If you love them most at their ambiguous nature, the early fics filled the void and nurtured the mind.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

A really talented artist around here who's outstanding at what she does, ily chica @betweentwoceremonials

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Last year I had an awful infection and it took me a while to get rid of it, but I did some medical analysis a few weeks ago and now I'm fine 🥳

This spot is for the people I love and love me in return, I never take it for granted!

Not to get too pessimistic bc I try to keep it light but I never thought I would reach my 20s and yet- I'm still here, and I'm proud of myself for it

[quintinh43]

Hi love! So I have a question… what helps you and writing your fics. I’ve been wanting to post something’s I’ve wrote, but to me they aren’t really that good, so I’m just wondering what are like your inspirations when writing because yours is so so beautiful

Hi loveee, thank you for the compliment it really warms my heart 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Ok, so the first thing I have to say is, honestly, I write for myself most of the time! For me, writing is stress relief cause I get to escape into my own little world of my creation.

That being said, I started sharing my writing because I felt it would help me improve. I can't even tell you how stressed/embarrassed I was with the first Quinn fic I posted on tumblr, even though I have been writing and posting fan fiction for yearsssss. It's pretty daunting to try something new and sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and jump.

My main thing was, it's ok if I think it's bad, I know I'll get more comfortable eventually.

With all of that in mind, here are some things I do to help me get into the flow of writing or help when I'm stuck on a scene etc. And just help me in general!

1. I need background noise!! This is different for everyone, but for me, I like background noise. If you haven't tried it, I would definitely recommend trying it, again it is different for everyone. I usually listen to instrumentals, or I'm watching Brooklyn 99 in the background. Idk why, but for some reason, Brooklyn 99 really turns my writing brain on! Maybe try a show/movie that is familiar to you!

2. I write on my phone! Everything gets written in my notes app, and when I'm done or close to done, I will copy past everything into an actual doc and then edit it on my laptop. I find that writing on my phone is less stressful. Maybe I'm traumatized from uni, but writing on my laptop just feels like a chore. Plus, if you write on your phone as soon as inspiration hits, you can write! You don't have to wait for an opportunity to get out your laptop and yadda yadda.

3. When I'm frustrated with my writing, I leave it for a little while and then come back later. In between, I'll try to look at writing prompts/scenarios on pinterest/tumblr and just think about how I would write them.

4. Write how you are comfortable! I'm big on metaphors, similes, and like flowery figurative language, so that's usually how I try to write. Another big thing for me is I want to feel when I'm reading, so I try to write in a way that mimics feeling. For example, if you're writing a scene where you wanna portray anxiety I find that in real life. When I'm anxious, my thoughts feel rapid and stunted. So I'll write short, choppy sentences. Or when I'm trying to portray the feeling of love, I'll write longer, softer, sentences, cause to me the feeling of love is something that you want to keep around.

5. Another thing I like to do, is I try not to mention something if it isn't gonna be useful/have a purpose. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I love throwing in those useless spare details cause I think they elevate the story. But when I used to write, I used to be super detailed about everything, and I found that it was a drag to read.

6. I'm not a big planner, I feel like planning limits me. Sometimes, I'll jot down a few bullet points of what I know I want to see, but other than that, I don't really plan. I also don't really write in a liner fashion. Sometimes, I'll start writing in the middle of a scene because that's what I'm most inspired to write, and then I'll go back and connect the beginning and such.

7. Don't delete your writing!! If you've written a scene and you don't like it anymore and think it doesn't fit, or it doesn't flow, font delete it! Copy paste it into an empty note/doc and then you can delete it from your main piece. I find that keeping my "bad writing" helps me grow. Plus sometimes I'll come back and use the scene later, or I'm a different fic! You never know.

8. Don't be afraid to take inspiration from your favorite writers! If you like the way someone writes descriptions, feelings, or something, try to reflect that in your own writing! Doing that really helped me to develop and flourish my own writing style!

All of that said, you know yourself best, and at the end of the day do what works for you. I hope this helped a least a little, and if you ever wanna hop in my messages and talk more I would be so so so honored 🫶🏼

And last but not least, I had to save my best writing tip for the end!

Write on the toilet - idk, but as soon as I'm on the toilet, all the ideas come flooding to my brain, and I literally can't stop writing. Judge me if you will, but hey, it works.

[blingblong55]

How do you get inspired to write and what’s your process? The fandom I wanna write for is so small and I just can’t find the fics I wanna read but every time I go to write my own ideas I get stuck. Please I beg I’m in the trenches here 😭🫧

I'll give you a bitchy answer and a full on honest one

Bitchy answer: when I open a request, I read through it and almost immediately I know how things will play out once I write them, I think of the plot, what my characters will say and how they'll act towards what "R/N" will say.

When I write based on my personal need or immediate creation, I already have all the plots and scenes coming along, basically I know how I'll deliver it and how it will be written. Its like my brain creates a movie and I just base myself on it.

Full honest one:

-I never write much on what the scenes are/look like, but from a writer to another, picturing the little details allows you to, feel/emerge, yourself into this world you are writing about.

-Music is a need, listen to anything that has the same vibe you are writing for. smut? listen to what YOU think that smut scene feels like, is it euphoric, sexy, passionate, hunger? think of that as your write. --it is the reason why my titles or pieces of my fics have lyrics, I like to pay tribute to the artist that inspired my ideas.--

-I never, ever!, tell my reader how Grim\R/N looks like, I want them to feel like its them in that story. However, I keep a notebook of all my stories, each page is how I think reader will look like (for me), who they are and such. Basically I think of them as a real person, I want to make myself believe this person is real and I am interviewing them or watching them from afar.

-At times, I take ideas from books ive read, or fanfics I wrote back in the day (wattpad used to be THAT bitch). I also take ideas from TV shows and movies and at times I take ideas from my personal life.

-Sounds crazy, but try to imagine your characters are in the room with you. What are they telling you? who are they to YOU? Make sure you don't actually talk to a wall (has happened to me), but in your mind, imagine their voices, interview them in a way. Ask them "if so and so kicked you, what would you do?" and imagine what that character would say.

-your readers are important, but what you want to write should be appealing to YOU, that is very very important. I always write with the intention of having young me reading this, does she like it, is she annoyed that I wrote this differently? Whilst your readers are important, if you keep writing to catch their eye and not yours, you will get bored of writing.

Also, eat, I don't care, you may have an idea, (keep a notebook around) but your own mental state and sanity is important. I used to write for my readers, but when I found I was no longer happy to even open the app, I knew I lost interest in what I love to do.

So always put your needs (writing wise) first. If your audience likes it, then good, if they don't, never take it personal, people have their own tastes, so let them be

A/N: if you do want me to share the pictures of my notes lmk :)

Side note: I know this was long and probably confusing as shit...but I hope I helps in some way<3

[simmyfrobby]

I have to ask have you ever considered the Matthew & Jesus dichotomy for Marchand & Bergeron bc you get both the reviled apostle (tax collector/resident ice pest) & the worshipped savior (Bergeron the same in every interpretation) + Matthew (along with other apostles) took on some of Jesus's role after his death to spread the gospel (to be a good leader? What does it mean to inherit Bergeron's legacy) - this being a much more obnoxiously optimistic approach to both Marchand + Bergeron and the post-Bergeron bruins ofc

Okay so first of all this is a much kinder interpretation of Marchand so I actually really like it. It still touches on a lot of the same notes (saint/sinner, love, devotion, loss, legacy) without having to deal with the betrayal. Excellent take. Thank you for sharing it!

"Bergeron the same in every interpretation" made me feel so !!!!!!!!!!! and also it reminded me of this:

(Last Days of Judas Iscariot.. again)

Now here comes my defence of Judas as Marchand

(.. again)

(I'm sorry)

(I love talking about it)

So part of the reason Judas is an easier fit than St. Matthew is because there is just so much more written about him in terms of poetry

(and theatre, which I assume from your ask you've already read my other post about so I won't repeat all that)

Here's a few of my favourite Judas lines:

To: Judas Iscariot, Thérèse Naccarato

"Damned to hell, damned in verse, damned to an eternity without him."

The Sacrifice, Frank Bidart

"Wiping away our sins, Christ stained us with his blood—; 

to offer yourself, yet need betrayal, by Judas, before SHOULDERING 

THE GUILT OF THE WORLD—; 

… Give me the courage not to need Judas."

The Judas Passion, Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment

"I was called to sin-as-virtue, to virtue-as-sin… of course with a kiss: kiss of repentance, kiss of inexpressible sorrow"

Sadly there are less poems about the other saints/disciples. I did initially look into St. Peter (Jesus washing his feet, Peter cutting off someones ear in the Garden of Gethsemane), but I ultimately found it less compelling than the Judas narrative.

(the three acts of denial killed it. Marchy never shuts up about Bergeron, actually)

It's just.. the DRAMA of it all. BETRAYAL WITH A KISS. Killing the one person you love more than anyone in the world. This idea of Judas, who is universally seen to be the worst person in the whole entire world, just being so Human and Flawed and wonderfully relatable. Judas' REGRET after the fact when its already too late!!

It's just so !!!!!!!!!!!

There's doomed by the narrative and then there's damned by the narrative.

(somewhere on this app there is a post about how as a kid who grew up Different, seeing monstrous and unloved things makes you go: "but what if I loved them. what if they were secretly good. just misunderstood. what if I gave them a hug." and so maybe there's an element of that in there too)

Marchand's narrative arch needs some violence and some villainy and awfulness and questionable decisions I'm afraid (said with love). It is important to me that Judas' crime occurs AFTER he's gotten to know Jesus. It is not a Part Of His Life Before. One of my favourite things about the Bergeron / Marchand dynamic is that Bergeron sees Marchand exactly for who he is - good and bad - and loves him anyway. He doesn't try to change any part of him. That's love baybey!

Also Marchand fighting anyone who even looks at Bergeron funny?? Where is that post that goes: it my fault my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill?

But ok sorry for rambling. Back to your ask: the retirement point you bring up is something I've been playing with as well. I'll post the first draft of this poetry post because the original poem was actually a LOT MORE BLASPHEMOUS, but it also does a better job explaining the parallels between the narratives..

Full poem can be found here.

It's just.. casting Marchand as Judas and Bergeron as Jesus doesn't just change the way I look at their dynamic, it also changes the way interpret the Bible story. OF COURSE THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. Because look: Bergeron and Marchand love each other.

[bakuliwrites]

Fanfic Writer Questionnaire

I found this great questionnaire! Post is here. I thought I would answer these for fun. I'd love to see other fanfic writer's answers to these as well, if you want!

List all the fandoms you have written in:

The Arcana, Fire Emblem, Jujutsu Kaisen, The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings, My Hero Academia, Castlevania, The Elder Scrolls

How many published fics have you written?

I currently have 22 up on AO3! And a smattering of random Tumblr exclusive short fics.

In terms of wordcount, in which fandom have you written the most?

The Arcana, by far. My total word count for the fandom (excluding headcanons and Tumblr-exclusive fics) is 153,453 words.

At the moment, which one of your fics is your favorite/you are the most proud of? (you can include unpublished fics)

I am definitely most proud of End Up Here. It's my longest work yet and has been an incredible journey so far. It's helped me prove to myself that I a) can write something novel length and b) can stick with one project and be dedicated to it. I feel like it's my love letter to the Arcana, as a piece of media that has helped me find my voice.

Which writer (fanfiction or not) inspires your own work?

J.R.R. Tolkien and Kazuo Ishiguro (mostly in my non-fanfiction writing, but I'm sure they've inevitably inspired elements of my fanfic writing in some way or another, too).

What was your first fanfic about?

Oh gosh. If we are talking very first fanfic that has never seen the light of day, then Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and Star Trek: Voyager (back when I was like 11 or 12 haha). But if we are talking published ones, then it was a spicy Xander x Reader for Fire Emblem: Fates.

Out of all the characters whose POV you have written, which one do you feel you identify the most with?

Great question. Probably Julian Devorak. But I don't necessarily feel that I fully identify with any of them. Just elements of each character I write about, in one way or another. But Julian's tendency towards feeling guilty for things he didn't do and his journey to accept his own strength are things that resonate with me.

What do you feel is your biggest challenge when writing?

Overcoming the idea of perfectionism. I have the tendency to get frustrated and scrap everything when I feel like it's not up to the standard I want it to be. But I'm trying to remind myself that a first draft is a first draft for a reason: it does not have to be perfect. End Up Here has really helped me in learning that lesson, since I write each chapter as I go. There's only one round of me editing each chapter before I publish it, so it's been a huge learning curve for me. And freeing as well.

Do you generally outline your fics or do you prefer to write spontaneously and then revise?

I do a skeleton of an outline and scribble unintelligible notes on scraps of paper or in my notes app on my phone. But a lot of my writing now is just me going with the flow and letting the characters tell me the story. I used to plan a lot, but it became sort of toxic for me and my tendency towards perfectionism, so I stopped being so precise about it. I let things change as they need to.

Which one of your fanfics has the most hits? the most comments? the most kudos? (if applicable)

Intimate has the most by far on AO3! And Upon a Forest Throne has the most on Tumblr. Thank you to everyone for the support and all your many kindnesses 💜

What proportion, if any, of your fics are rated M or above (# of M-plus fics/ total # of fics)?

86% of my fics are rated M or above. I mostly write adult content.

Finally, tease us with the title of one of your upcoming fics:

So, I'm going to come out with a Gojo x Nanami x Reader fic sometime in the future. I plan on calling it Starlight. Here's a teeny little snippet from it:

How Satoru manages to trap infinity in his eyes is a mystery to you. His blindingly azure gaze meets yours, a vast expanse of twinkling starlight imprisoned in icy pools of blue. You glance to the side, met with Kento's softer, brown eyes. He is the sun, radiant and warm, the quiet light of early dawn and late evening. This must be what it feels like to be enveloped by the very fibers of the universe. Held in a delicate balance.

Thank you for reading! This questionnaire was super fun to answer :)

[b100k]

if anyone guesses who im talking about, you are not allowed to tell them about this post because i will die of embarrassment and also this is secret for a reason

hhhhh ok i just found a note on my phone from about march? last year? that has been added to a couple of times since then and it's basically just me ranting about how much i love and appreciate this one person and it's mostly /p but it verges into /r territory and now ive read it and there's more i want to add to it and hhhhh

i only went into my notes app to find where i noted down their favourite type of flower so i could maybe get them some for valentines ?

wait now i think about that's kinda /r

help

here's some of my favourite cringe parts of me being in love /p

"I like being the opposite of a fake dating AU, having to tell people we're not dating, because part of me likes it when people notice our bond and mistake it for more than friends, we have surpassed friendship. God I should have written a poem or something, or done this on valentine's day, but alas, I'm useless and wrote this at 10:19pm oops :)"

"I love you so much I love how passionate you get about things!! I asked if you enjoyed The Batman and while other people would be like 'yeah it was good' you sent a whole paragraph explaining what you liked and what you wished could have happened !! And it was just so sweet and you have such an in depth knowledge of so many things like I know if I asked you to explain the plot of TLOZ or ATLA or explain the history of the red ring of doom Xbox Crash you would be able to just tell me there and then, and that makes me so happy

also you're really pretty and i love you and this was supposed to be an in depth review into Why I Like You but I am genuinely lost for words I cannot explain it.

I'm this close to being like

'i love you man, kinda homo tbh'

but that's a bit forward innit"

"ok so what would you say if I wanted to dance around a big old house / palace / ballroom idk somewhere big and pretty and empty except us and sourceless music"

like fellas, is it gay to want to ballroom dance with someone and also just listen to them talk for hours??

Anyway there we go that's me being gay and realising that maybe its not just admiration and appreciation oops

maybe it's very /r

its not my fault I cannot identify the nature of my feelings!!!!!

(irls I swear if you see this and tell them...

/threat)