#found certain aspects far more appalling than i was prepared for

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Hell's Kitchen

April 16, 2024 | Broadway | Shubert Theatre | Evening | Musical | Original | 2H 30M

Fresh off its off-Broadway run that ended January 17th of this year, Hell's Kitchen loses nothing and gains even less. The snap-of-a-finger transfer capitalized on the strong ticket sales, but doomed this musical's clunky book. This season, many a show falls victim to tight turnarounds and are not given the time they need to truly improve. While critics of the off-Broadway production agreed this was a rousing Alicia Keys tribute show with phenomenal vocals, the book failed to deliver. Underdeveloped side characters, ill-constructed book, songs that are less about the story and more about the name recognition.

Hell's Kitchen's tragedy is not in its overdone mother/daughter teen-year bickering, or absent father, but in its unfulfilled potential. Much like the scaffolding set design (perhaps too unfavorably reminiscent of last season's flop New York, New York) the bones are strong as steel, but devoid of any real meat.

As a lead, Ali is sweet and infuriating and the quintessential teenager making horrible and immature life choices and being mad at her two-job-working mother who doesn't want her seventeen-year-old daughter to get involved with a grown ass man (age unspecified). I'm too old to sit through that story, and the dialogue is truly abysmal even to those who are invested. The music, like in any jukebox, takes center stage. And while performed and choreographed well, songs are often shoehorned in and do little to serve the already-weak book. Many of the songs are over-riffed, which may be a sure-fire crowd-pleaser, but I am tired of Elphabas--oh wait, Shoshana Bean was an Elphaba. It all makes sense now... oh no...

Hell's Kitchen has small moments of relief among the noise, but the emotional payoff to nearly all of Miss Liza Jane's (gorgeously sung) numbers feels thoroughly unearned and designed to manipulate audiences into believing this show has something deeper to say. It doesn't. Subplots of police brutality and systemic racism are thrown into the pit out of nowhere but are never given the opportunity to become something fleshed-out. It's as if the book wants to check these issues off the list with rousing, heartbreaking songs that are jarringly inserted into the narrative. Ultimately, the joy of seeing such a diverse cast on stage, performing so well, was eclipsed by the actual story.

Still, this is a show with undeniable commercial appeal. Everyone and their mother can sing along (loudly, off-key) to the two Alicia Keys songs they all know and hear blasting out of pedicabs all over Times Square. The tourists will flock to it, not for artistry, but for name recognition. And if this is how young people come to Broadway, that's great. I'll just be the bitter old codger shaking my fist at the youth's lack of taste.

Verdict: A Long Slog to Curtains

A Note on Ratings

[onetoomanysteps]

TWST Boys and MBTI HCs Part 1: Heartslabyul

Hey there! First time trying writing this headcanon stuff series. Differing opinions and discussions are welcome since this is only a HC (nice words though, I don’t condone senseless bashing here), and if there is someone already posted MBTI, just think of this as my hot take on the stuff.

While MBTI’s reliability is debatable when used in real world context, I find it a really interesting and neat way to navigate character traits and personalities in fiction. Thus, while I procrastinate on WIP fics and undergrad thesis try to flex my writing muscles, this immediately came to my mind. And here we are.

No need for permission and disclaimer to use this HC in your fan works whatsoever. However, if you happened to enjoy this do consider to leave a trace behind :3

In this HC series, I’m going to use the Introduction, Strength, And Weakness section of the personality overview for the sake of brevity and not use a few points that I deemed inapplicable (and even then I think it’s already quite long).

Mostly canon-compliant, aside from some of my personal interpretations here and there (expect personal story and main story references up to chapter 3).

For those interested in an overview of MBTI, check this link: https://www.16personalities.com/articles/our-theory. You can also check each personality type overview on the same website if you’re curious.

Since this is going to be quite long, if you’re interested, click below:

Riddle Rosehearts-ENTJ (Commander)

Out of all Heartslabyul boys, this one gave me quite some difficulty hence the long introductory part . First, regarding the Extrovert vs. Introvert debate, while on the surface Riddle is not as flashy or outgoing as the traditional portrayal of Extrovert, I think that his goal to direct Heartslabyul and all of its residents to achieve his ideal level of excellence shows enough of his outward-focused thinking.

Second, it also took me a while since his rule-abiding trait is also prevalent in a number of Sentinels personality type group. However, he also shows a lot of curiosity and very eager to learn new things just for the sake of understanding how the world works, a trait especially prevalent in Analyst personality type group in which ENTJ is a part of.

Strengths

Efficient – Unless explicitly demanded by the rules, his first concern is how to make things work, with little to no care about any kind of flairs that have no correlation on efficiency.

Energetic – Always puts 100% energy into his works, be it individual or group activities. Cue the other more relaxed people struggling to follow...

Self-Confident – Deliberately not checking on his test results because he already knew that it would be perfect score? That’s some level of confidence he has over there. Also, consider his SR Robe story where his confidence in his own skills immediately convinced Sebek to register into horse riding club despite his initial dismay because of Silver’s presence in the club.

Strong-Willed – Disagreed with how the previous dorm head managed the dorm? Duel him and take charge of the dorm just after your first week in school, of course. Really, the iron will this boy has is no joke...

Strategic Thinker – Less apparent than say, Azul, but I do believe he does have this trait. One of the most apparent example of this trait is the way he tackles his studies. Not only he makes notes from class lecture, he also thinks ahead and prepare material from outside sources that no one else bothered to look up for such as the latest scientific journal articles (Riddle school uniform R).

Charismatic and Inspiring –  When he let himself forget about those pesky rules, he actually has this... thing that kinda spurs people to become the best version of themselves; an inspiration, I daresay. This is especially apparent in his interactions with individual members of Dumbass Squad so far, that either portrayed him as an overall competent and admirable senpai that you can look up to (Jack robe SR, Deuce dorm SSR).

Weaknesses

Stubborn and Dominant – Goes hand-in-hand with his general strongheaded character. One interesting example of this trait is his conversation with Azul in prologue’s first rythmic game, in which he outright demanded Azul to follow his lead and adjust to his pace in capturing Grim. Very telling since technically Azul is supposedly someone with the same standing as a fellow dorm head that you can’t just order around...

Intolerant – Has an extremely poor tolerance for error in other people. Self-explanatory, really, goes hand-in-hand with rule-abiding tendencies.

Impatient – When the underclassmen didn’t bring the tarts for Unbirthday Party fast enough, he was already so close to exploding, only managed to narrowly avoiding it thanks to Trey’s intervention (Trey dorm SSR).

Arrogant – Nurtured to the extreme by his own mother to believe in the innate superiority of people with high magical power. He ended up adopting the ‘might equals right’ mindset to the extreme, believing that he had proven himself as the most competent person in Heartslabyul on the basis of his. Remember that time in chapter 1 when took a jab at Ace and Deuce’s presumed less-than-ideal parentage and basically went ‘lower magical power = no rights for you’...

Poor Handling of Emotions – Guy overblotted because he couldn’t identify his neglected emotional need of companionship, and subconsciously tried to cope by enforcing his ideals towards others...

Cold and Ruthless –  The number of people he had ‘beheaded’ for the slightest rule violations speaks for themselves for this behavior, honestly...

Trey Clover-ESFJ (Consul)

An expected result for Heartslabyul’s resident Team Mom. An S-ranking team player that everyone relies on, I think that it’s kind of no-brainer to put him in this category. While the prevalence of his people skill is usually a specialty of Diplomat personality type group, his inclination to value stability above all else puts him firmly in this Sentinel personality type.

Strengths

Strong Practical Skills – Day-to-day dorm management, cooking, dealing with students’ concerns and worries, just all around being a dependable senpai... this guy’s got you covered. We can certainly thank Riddle’s demon temper and borderline impossible standard leadership and his kouhai’s stupidity cluelessness for letting us see this trait appear from time to time...

Strong Sense of Duty – “Knight of the Rose” is no joke indeed: in spite of all the sh*t he has to deal with on daily basis, we seldom hear him to voice even a word of complaint , be it in serious or joking context (for good comparison check on how Cater handles it). A true ‘grit your teeth and bear with it’ guy.

Very Loyal – While this is self-explanatory when it comes to Cater as his fellow long-time suffering underling, he arguably also shows this to Riddle (or maybe more accurate to say, to the ‘Riddle’ of his past memories)... while he low key took a jab at Riddle’s temper in his lab coat SR story, he never really plots something against him, for better or worse unlike that certain snake vice dorm head.  

Sensitive and Warm – As everyone’s fave senpai this is a given. This particular trait of his really is a refuge for Heartslabyul students from their demon strict dorm head...

Good at Connecting with Others – Connected to above point. Really good at empathizing with most people’s pain, making him indispensable as buffer to Riddle’s crippling weakness in this aspect.

Weaknesses

Worried about Their Social Status – Arguably, this is one of the main reasons why he never bothered to do anything in regards to mama Rosehearts’ helicopter parenting that caused Riddle so much suffering. Like it or not, she is an influential citizen in his homeland, and maybe after witnessing her unleashed rage at his family, he was not very keen on trying anything risky...

Inflexible – Very, very reluctant to oppose Riddle in chapter 1, despite the clear evidence that his non-action did more harm than good. he tried to convince himself and others that any kind of resistance would be futile.

Reluctant to Innovate or Improvise – While he’s indispensable for the task of keeping day-to-day operation proceeding smoothly, he also has the tendency to keep doing things the same way, for a very long time. This is apparent in his dorm SSR story, where he was not really welcoming to the underclassmen’s suggestion to change their Unbirthday Party’s cake type.

Vulnerable to Criticism – A bit of a hot take, I HC that after mama Rosehearts chewed him and his family out for feeding poor Riddle strawberry tart, he developed a different take from Che’nya on what should he do as Riddle’s friend, and both of them failed to reconcile their views. The prospect of criticism was appalling enough to him that when Dumbass Squad brought up about Che’nya in chapter 1 he got his rare sour face...

Too Selfless – As pictured above in his own robe SR personal story, he tends to take on so many responsibilities from other people and ended up forgetting his own physical and psychological limits. Another prominent example of this trait is his behavior in Riddle’s lab coat SR, in which he was downplaying his light cold and ended up bedridden because he refused to delegate his responsibilities to take more rest.

Cater Diamond-ESFP (Entertainer)

For me, this one needed quite a bit of contemplating, for two reasons: 1) I’m personally not really focused on him; 2) There’s so little info on him (perhaps this is a sign for something big, perhaps not, only time can tell). Like Trey, I initially also wanted to categorize Cater into a personality type in Diplomat group due to his prominent people skill. However, after reading more into the personalities in Explorer group, I found out that he lacks the usual idealism that embodies personality types from that particular group.

Strengths

Bold – Rarely holds back when it comes to experiencing pleasures of life when the opportunity presents itself. Just look at Idia’s uniform R personal story, in which he decided on a whim to whisk off to Kalim’s banquet without so much of a thought, and even forcibly brought a very reluctant Idia along because it would be more fun that way.

Aesthetics and Showmanship – This is very clear from his day-to-day mannerism, that tends to give off the ‘bubbly and trendy’ feel: his default cheerful and open gestures and words, his everyday up-to-date fashion items, you name it. Flat is most probably one of the furthest thing you would associate with this SNS-loving guy.

Practical – So far, he seems like the type of guy that doesn’t really adhere to a big, overarching ideology that underlies his every actions; he is, after all, the best when doing whatever suits his convenience at that exact moment as demonstrated in his own dorm SSR personal story. A good way to understand this trait of his is to compare him to the more idealistic characters like Riddle, that will most certainly hold onto his personal convictions even when it’s not beneficial.

Observant – Really sharp when it comes to identifying what people really want from him and then acts accordingly, as noticed by Trey multiple times (chapter 1, Cater dorm SSR).

Excellent People Skills – Plays the role of resident social butterfly really well... not much to explain here, really...

Weaknesses

Sensitive – Despite his best efforts to gives off the impression that nothing can really hurt his feeling, both his robe and lab coat SR showed us that he does feel things, and they greatly affect his psychological state (sad mandrake, I’m looking at you).

Conflict-Averse – Desperately tried to persuade Dumbass Squad to not butt heads with Riddle in chapter 1. Also has the tendency to bury his negative feelings behind his smiles and cheery attitude.

Easily Bored – Hops in and out of trends constantly, not much to explain here really... he vibes really well with trend-based Magicam for a reason after all...

Poor Long-Term Planners – Admitted to Riddle and Trey that while he is an excellent multi-tasker, he severely lacks the ability to plan and strategize for long-term goal (Riddle dorm SSR).

Unfocused – Strongly related to above point, he also has a considerable difficulty to tackle subjects that need long-term, regimented effort to master such as Practical Magic (Riddle dorm SSR).

Ace Trappola-ENTP (Debater)

Arguably the first non-Ramshackle member of Dumbass Squad, this boy, indeed, lives and breathes the phrase “Bold and Brash” in his every single endeavors in life. Unlike the other boys in this post, deciding on which personality type most suited for him was so damn easy that I felt a bit insulted (heck, even easier than Trey): his cheekiness and motor mouth were quite were like highlights that pointed out to this personality type’s direction. And, ho boy, the second I read ENTP’s overview, I instantly knew that I already hit the mark this time...

Strengths

Knowledgeable – Not of the useful, practical kind of knowledge, but he does have a fondness to learn various amusing little tricks for the fun of it and for bragging material.

Quick Thinker – This boy seriously has a talent to bullshit his way out of trouble in the last second... This trait is basically the entire plot of his SSR dorm story, in which he showcased his ability to use half-lies and misdirection to avoid disadvantaging himself in unforeseeable situations...

Original – This trait is basically his whole stand off with Riddle in chapter 1. Not only using his own very personal opinion, he also linked it to other Heartslabyul students’ various expressions of discontent and made the initially generic and powerless words into a very distinct, powerful argument that basically screamed ‘you and your rules suck’ to Riddle. Add in a very ingenious touch of physical punch to the face that nobody else dared to try, which made the message even more powerful.

Excellent Brainstormer – Considering his extraordinary bullshitting skill, he must be quite sharp in this department... Also, there’s also the fact that the subject that he performs best at is Magic Analysis...

Charismatic – Only shown subtly so far, but combined with his bullshitting skill he does show a knack to influence people’s opinion from time to time. One example is shown when he influenced Heartslabyul students to demand Trey to make different cakes for their Unbirthday Party (Trey dorm SSR).

Energetic – A given trait when you’re a member of the Dumbass Squad, with how much shenanigans that you’re going to face...

Weaknesses

Very Argumentative – Has the tendency to pick a fight with people, arguably just for kicks. One of the example of this trait is his admission of having the thrill out of the possibility getting your neck ‘cut’ constantly as one of the reason that he finds the thought of changing dorm is unthinkable (Ace dorm SSR voice line).

Insensitive – Lacks the ability to read the atmosphere, or possibly just straight out ignoring it. Cue frequent troubles with Deuce and Riddle...

Intolerant – Has shown quite a bit of pre-concieved prejudices to something he’s not familiar with. Combined with his lack of delicacy, this could turn nasty very fast, just look back at his first meeting with magicless MC and monster Grim...

Can Find It Difficult to Focus – This trait is the main culprit for his bad affinity with traditional text-based learning methods and subjects that make use of said methods, such as Magic History.

Dislike Practical Matters – His general dismay to even try memorizing and implementing written, word-by-word rules that Riddle force feeds to Heartslabyul people everyday is rooted on how boring they are. He fully understands why rules are important, but chooses not to obey it because the prospect of just obeying is not very thrilling to him...

Deuce Spade-ISFJ (Defender)

And, last but not least, here comes our egg boy! This Dumbass #2 of Heartslabyul is one of the more difficult one to assign, and my decision to put him in this personality type didn’t really come that easy. While reading through Defender’s personality overview, at first I thought that “Whoa, maybe this one is too soft for this ex-yankee...” and I had intended to put him into something from the Explorer group due to his dumbass shenanigans general spontaneity, but hey, actually, this boy is soft.

When I factor in the fact that NRC is basically a school that consists of talented but egoistical problem kids, this boy quite distinguishes himself with his fierce loyalty to his loved ones and the general earnest vibe that he exudes, that really vibe with this personality type. Also, something about Introvert vs. Extrovert debate, I HC Deuce as more of an introvert because, while outwardly he is no less rowdy than Ace being a pair of dumbasses that they are, he is way more inward-focused in his way of thinking, focusing on his few beloved ones instead of the larger populace.  

Strengths

Supportive – A great deal more honest and sincere than Ace in his approach of friendship, think of him as that openly supportive friend that doesn’t hide how he values his friends and always tries his best to support them in any way he can.

Reliable and Patient – In line with point above, he’s that type of friend that you can safely depend on, the type that would always be there when you need him.

Imaginative and Observant – Despite appearances, Deuce is actually quite adept at empathy (especially when compared to his fellow Heartslabyul dumbass Ace), being able to sympathize with people’s feeling. One of the best example of this is Deuce’s response to Azul’s insecurity in chapter 3, in which Deuce pretended that he never saw the childhood photo that Azul was so adamant on hiding because of his inferiority issues.

Enthusiastic – He’s really passionate about the things that he has set on to do; you can practically feel it in most of his dialogue lines...

Loyal and Hard-Working – He’s willing to bend back-and-forth for the sake of his loved ones. Hell, the main reason that he tries his hardest to become a great magician in the future is so that he can make his mother happy...

Good Practical Skills – This is moving more to the headcanon side, but I think as an only child that lives only with his mother he ended up developing this trait, whether he likes it or not...

Weaknesses

Humble and Shy – Might be the influence of his yankee past, he’s rather low key when it comes to his personal achievements. Compare that to Ace’s constant bragging...

Take Things Too Personally – Self-explanatory, when you look at his hands-on approach on things... one of the example of this trait is his robe SR story (pictured above), in which he was about to physically fight a student that underplayed his achievement as a first year.

Overload Themselves – ‘Chill’ is not really the word that could be attributed to this boy, he takes everything he does too seriously. Although right now the effects are not really apparent, but it does make me wonder whether this will pose a problem later on...

Reluctant to Change – Very visible when compared side-by-side to the more mercurial fellow dumbass Ace, overall Deuce has more respect to the existing order in his environment, and he also shows more respect towards authority figures. I HC that this trait is what makes him tried to restrain Ace from punching Riddle in their chapter 1 showdown.

[xtruss]

OPINION // RACISM

America Cannot Lecture Africans on Human Rights

George Floyd's death demonstrates just how little America cares about Black lives at home and abroad.

— By Tafi Mhaka | Sunday May 31, 2020 | Aljazeera.Com

Police in riot gear prepare to advance on protesters rallying after the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis, US on May 30, 2020.

Seated in the unenviable squalor of my modest, sparsely furnished living room, deep in the southern end of "shithole" Africa, as American President Donald Trump casually described it in January 2018, I have come to the firm conclusion that America is not qualified to lecture my continent on human rights and democracy. I have watched the video of the tragic, untimely death of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota and have remained appalled at the brazen inhumanity demonstrated by the police in a "first world" democracy.

I have read in horror countless social media posts, penned by pained Black, brown and white folks on the latest controversial death of a Black man in America, which came on the heels of the killing of Ahmaud Arbery in Brunswick, Georgia and Breonna Taylor in Louisville, Kentucky.

Each post has been inundated with an obvious abundance of silent, peaceful rage and despondency at the violent racism permeating every aspect of life in the world's leading democracy. Utterly shocked at what I have been seeing, I have had to repeatedly remind myself that this is America.

This is the same country that reacts with immediate moral outrage whenever something goes terribly amiss and somebody dies at the hands of the police and in full view of the public in Africa.

Whenever the spectre of governmental injustice lords over Africa, America always makes its boisterous, unapologetic voice heard on a continent purportedly starved of human rights.

America is always proud to condemn the "brutal violence by cowardly and vicious armed groups" and the "disproportionate use of force" by security forces in Africa. In fact, a predictable stream of condescending diplomatic self-righteousness is certainly the lifeblood of America's ubiquitous presence in Africa's young and still-developing democracies.

However, it is not just America that is forever indulging in this made-for-TV moralising crusade, whenever a life is regrettably stolen. The rest of the West also chimes in with a chorus of splendid, choreographed integrity.

So, since Monday, when news of Floyd's death first surfaced, I have been anxiously waiting to hear a deluge of condemnations from these highly respectable Western nations.

I have hoped to see France's President Emmanuel Macron hold a news conference, imploring the American authorities to uphold democracy and put an end to the spate of tragic deaths of Black people.

I have hoped to catch a reassuring soundbite from Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, expressing disapproval of America's systemic abuse of African-Americans.

I have hoped to watch Germany's Angel Merkel declare her profound unease with America's long and shameful record of violating the human rights of its Black citizens.

But I have heard nothing: not a statement, not a tweet has come out of the world's "leading democrats" and human rights proponents.

The truth is the West does not really care about human rights, especially the human rights of African-Americans and Africans; it just cares about preaching about human rights and striding the world stage with hypocritical pride and a pompous air. For, if it really did care, at all, America would not be witnessing nationwide protests today and its fellow "first world" nations would not be so silent about it.

George Floyd's tragic death is not an isolated incident, not a mistake or an exception. It is a sign of a systemic failure in upholding the human rights of minorities and migrants in America.

Minority and migrant communities face more socioeconomic precarity, inadequate healthcare, shorter life spans, and higher incarceration rates than white Americans. Yet the response of the US government to these systemic problems has been to increase policing, not to try to resolve them.

Large numbers of minority voters, particularly African-Americans and Latinos, have also struggled to participate in national elections and have their voice heard on the political scene. Voter suppression in these communities is rife and certain political forces have continued block efforts to enfranchise these voters.

Yet the American megaphone diplomacy in Africa has always insisted on free and fair elections and brandished the American system as a model to follow.

That America is facing such a human rights crisis at home perhaps should not come as a surprise. For decades, despite what it has been preaching, it has purposefully undermined international law and the establishment of a robust international human rights regime which would have pressed governments around the world (including the US one) to uphold human rights at home and abroad.

This has served America well, as it has ensured immunity for its soldiers and political agents committing violent crimes abroad and supporting and abetting dictatorial regimes which have victimised their own citizens. America has done nothing to prosecute grave human rights violations and killings by its soldiers in Iraq and has gone as far as threatening the International Criminal Court, which has opened an investigation into US crimes in Afghanistan. It has also consistently overlooked grave human rights violations by its closest allies - Israel and Saudi Arabia.

Indeed, the leading nation of the "free world" has no moral high ground from which to lecture Africans on human rights.

Yet as disappointed as I am with America's dubious modus operandi and deplorable human rights record, I have found Africa's strong and unequivocal condemnation of Floyd's agonising death a truly welcome and positive development. Without a shadow of doubt, Africans are increasingly convinced that the way forward for their countries does not uphold the American system as a model but as a cautionary tale.

— The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera's editorial stance.

[thejourneymaninn]

Firework and Needlework

Fenders, fluff

@selfmadeelf asked for a New Year’s Eve sequel to ‘For what is still to come’, and I can never resist a prompt, so… 

Read on AO3

Anders was…well, a more (as in: excessively so) generous soul might have called it “singing”, but Fenris couldn’t, not for all the love he felt for the man – and there was a lot of love, he thought with a smile as he watched his off-key fool wriggling his hips and bellowing at the top of his lungs. It was a miracle Anders hadn’t (yet) dropped any of the food he was currently carrying into the living room. His contribution, as he had announced when he had returned from work, with dark-ringed eyes, caffeine breath, and the stubborn resolve to have an enjoyable evening regardless, “You prepared dinner, I’ll set the table. Fair’s fair.”

Fenris had indeed been in charge of the night’s culinary aspects, since Anders had, once again, been needed at work all day. Admittedly, the opulent meal Fenris had prepared consisted pretty much entirely of bowls filled with snacks that came ready-to-serve in bags and boxes, with a select few that required the additional effort of defrosting or microwaving. A well-balanced mix of sweet and savoury, salt, sugar and flavour enhancers. Fenris had no intention of wasting even a second of their time together on cutlery and tables. With Anders work hours having been hell all month, they had decided to have a quiet (or as Anders had called it, going almost cross-eyed trying to examine the loose strands of hair falling into his face for new signs of grey, “an old men’s”) New Year’s Eve.

A night of cuddling, unhealthy amounts of food, Netflix - and, most importantly, just the two of them. There had been way too little of that lately. Of course, the announcement that they weren’t going to attend their traditional end-of-the-year party and its famous “The last straw” drinking contest had been met with loud protests, but eventually, their friends had relented and agreed to meet them on New Year’s Day instead, for a “Fools rush in” brunch in the Hanged Man. As Hawke had put it, “What better way to start a New Year than with a nice little food poisoning?”

Thus, they had secured themselves a night of peace and togetherness. Fenris was very much looking forward to snuggling up on the couch with a bowl of snacks between them and not a single vitamin in sight, and he was fairly certain Anders felt the same way. Having the rest of the week off seemed to have taken a whole world of tension off his shoulders; after months of long hours and little to no sleep, he finally looked relaxed again.

Relaxed enough to shimmy through their house and torture Fenris’ sensitive ears with…well, whatever this was.

With a fond shake of his head, he sneaked up on Anders, wrapped his arms around his waist – causing him to nearly drop a bowl of bugles – and murmured, playfully nipping on his neck, ”What is this cacophony?”

Anders stopped singing (although he kept wiggling his ass in a rather enticing manner) to cast a haughty glance over his shoulder. "That, you ignorant philistine, is Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’."

“I am aware of that,” Fenris huffed around another teasing little bite, “but what you are doing to it can hardly be called ‘singing’.”  

“Well, good, I'm close to the original then.”

Fenris couldn’t really argue with that.

“Besides”, Anders added, disentangling himself from Fenris’ arms, placing the bowl safely on the coffee table and turning to look at him with a broad grin, "We’re engaged now, so you’re required by law to put up with my singing. I'm sorry, love, those are the rules. In sickness and in health, through atonality and dad jokes."

Pausing a moment for emphasis, Fenris raised his eyebrows and waggled a finger in front of Anders’ face. He didn’t quite manage to suppress a grin as he said, “I do recall your…unique proposal, but – and please correct me if I am mistaken – as far as I can see, this is still bare?”

“Well, if you want something to adorn that lovely hand of yours…” Anders picked up a bugle and stuck it on top of Fenris’ ring finger. “Here you go. Looks dashing - and it’s so practical, too! Don’t say I don’t provide for you, an emergency ration and a weapon. You know, like some sort of spiky gauntlet.”

“Gauntlet. Of course. That sounds practical.”

Instead of replying, Anders bent and pulled the bugle off Fenris’ finger - with his teeth. He followed the motion up with his tongue slowly circling around the tip, licking up every last bit of salt and grease while he made a show of flicking and swirling it in languid, suggestive movements.

Fenris’ inner voice had quite a few things to say to that.

I could bend him over the back of the sofa, tear off his trousers, spread him, lick along...

He kept his actual voice even. “Our promise of eternal love, devoured in an instant. So much for ‘providing’. Perhaps you could at least manage to keep me warm?”

“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something…”

“Perfect. I left my sweater in the bedroom.”

Anders’ smug grin gave way to a pout. With a dramatic sigh, “Alright, but only because it’s you,” he pressed a final kiss on Fenris finger, darted out of the room and stomped up the stairs in his usual manner, a noisy giraffe with poor coordination.

Fenris followed him, on quiet feet - quiet enough so that Anders did not notice he was right behind him until he came to a sudden halt in the doorway.

“Anything the matter?” Fenris innocently addressed his back.

He turned around, his expression somewhere between shock, awe, and amusement.

“Did...did you seriously stick a hundred syringes into our mattress?”

“The evidence points to it.”

Anders’ eyes gleamed as he chuckled, blushing and radiant. “Fenris....my god Fenris...you are just....Where did you even get that many syringes? Did you raid a drugstore? Or a drug den?”

“Merrill helped me out.”

“Ah, of course,” he nodded, “that makes sense. She’s good with bloodwork.”

“I figured she would be, given her field of study.”

“Yes… I don’t know how she does it. What they have to put their patients through, often not even to save them but just for a few more months…It must feel like making a deal with a demon. I mean, not that I never see suffering, but all in all, I get to help people…She mostly sees death…” Anders sighed, shaking his head slightly, then suddenly whipping it back towards Fenris. “Wait...what did you tell her they were for?”

“I said it was for you, and that it was a surprise. Which caused her to smile and exclaim that you love surprises. Then she got me the syringes and I left. Unlike others, she does not ask when she knows she will not get an answer. You have to give her that, even if her general level of excitement is disturbing.”

“So, she doesn’t…know about this?”

Feeling Anders flicker like a dying lightbulb of anxiousness, Fenris took his hand in his and squeezed it. “Of course not. We agreed to tell the others together. But what is more important…” he continued, suddenly nervous despite himself, “Do you have anything to say to the shape I arranged them in?”

A bright, warm smile spread over Anders’ face and, if Fenris was not mistaken, there was a little moisture around the corners of his eyes. “Yes, I will marry you.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

“Comes as a surprise, I’m sure. This is just amazing, love…” Anders said, taking a step closer to the bed, “Not for our mattress, mind you, but...you went through all this trouble…And there's,” he exclaimed suddenly, “even a ring!”

There was indeed. Fenris had made certain to tape it to one of the syringes somewhere near the centre of the whole thing.

“There is. I hope you like it.”

“Are you kidding?” Anders’ face scrunched up as he turned the ring over in his fingers. “I love it. It’s from you; I'd love it even if it wasn't gorgeous, which it totally is, by the way…You've really thought of everything, haven't you?” he said with a faraway look in his eyes. “You even set up candles…flowers...”

“Of course. You mentioned there should have been ten percent more of them. Considering you had none, I am not certain as to the exact amount required; so this will have to do.”  

“Yes, yes, I admit this beats my proposal on every level, no argument there,” Anders said, not seeming to mind his defeat all that much.

“Now, don’t be so modest. Only a select few are capable of finding the romantic aspects of telling their friends to exert violence on their lover. Although,” he added with a smirk, “I did also fill the freezer with ice cream, for you…Or for me, had you decided to ditch me after all.”

“Not a chance, love.” Anders wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him flush against him. “You already said yes to me when I proposed on Christmas; you’re not getting out of this. I'm yours until the end. And now,” he smiled, “get that ring on my finger already.”

With a soft chuckle, Fenris did just that, pressing a kiss on Anders’ lips as he slid the ring on...or rather, as he struggled to push it into position; the movement wasn't quite as smooth as he would have wished and had Anders wincing a little.

“Ouch...Is that your revenge for my asking people to punch you?”

Fenris grinned up at him through his lashes. “If I wanted to take revenge, I would have found another way to use those syringes…”

“Well, well, well…I must say, I'm not sure whether to be appalled or aroused. And here I was thinking I already knew all your deep, dark, desires......” Anders stuck his tongue out at him.

“In that case, better prepare yourself,” Fenris said, grabbing his face in a flash and returning his tongue back into his mouth with company. “You have merely begun to scratch the surface. And you’ve bound yourself to me. With,” he flashed him a smug grin, “the ring I remembered to get you.”

“Speaking of which…” Anders pulled back and walked over to their closet, kneeling on the floor and rummaging through the jumbled heap at the bottom until he found the horribly shiny dress shoes Fenris adamantly refused to wear. “I thought this was the last place you'd look,” he explained as he reached inside and pulled out a small velvet box. His knees gave a protesting creek as he got up and walked back over to Fenris with hesitant steps. "I wasn't sure if you wanted a ring, and you definitely don't have to wear it if you don't but...I got you this one just in case. I went with ironbark. I know elven traditions also aren't quite your thing, but it's pretty and rare and, you know...it reminds me of indomitable strength in places where you wouldn't expect it, so I thought you might like it, and if you don't..."

Fenris chose this moment to silence him with a kiss, mimicking Anders' tone exactly as he said, "Just put it on me already."

“So...you want to wear it?”

His heart ached at the sight of Anders’ uncertain, hopeful smile.

“What make you think I would not? It is not a chain. It is a sign of belonging. And I belong with you.”

There was no uncertainty in the nod that followed. “You do. And I hope you’re aware that tonight, this means you belong on the couch with me. I need to take at least fifty pictures of this,” Anders gestured to the bed, “now, and another hundred tomorrow morning, by daylight. Everyone needs to see it! All our future cats need to see it - Pounce needs to see it!”

“I assure you, he has seen it. And sniffed it. He also licked it, kicked it, vomited on it, knocked over a few candles and nearly set his tail on fire, chewed on your flowers…”

“We…should probably keep the door closed for the night…”

“I knew I wasn’t marrying you solely for your looks. Now, take your pictures, and then let us go back downstairs. I can think of a few enjoyable things to do on that couch you mentioned...”

Anders flashed him a broad grin. “You mean cocooning ourselves in each other’s arms and fifteen blankets, eating until we’re incapable of getting up and falling asleep long before midnight?”

“You forgot ‘incessantly complaining about films no one is forcing us to watch’.” 

“Well, the list wasn’t meant to be exhaustive…there’s of course also drink too much, whinge about my job, fuck your brains out, argue over what to watch next, have an ice cream eating contest, read Pounce a Goodnight story…”

“…You have two minutes before I snuff out the candles and drag you out of the room.”

The following morning, they entered the Hanged Man, smiling and casually holding hands. They exchanged a brief smirk as they sat down next to their smelly, hungover friends, then slipped back into their nonchalant expressions. There was a bet to be decided – which of their friends would be the first to notice the rings, and how long would it take them?